#Uh my name is Louise btw

[hotapplepie]

omg Hi new followers!!!! ^^

[coll2mitts]

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Thanks to the awesome people who donated to Extra Life (you still can, btw!)  y'all will now be treated to a retrospective on the 1993 classic movie, Super Mario Bros.  When I took on this milestone, the first (and only) person I messaged for ideas on terrible (but wonderful) films based on video games was my friend Max, who has a history of viewing and talking about bad movies.  He suggested this, and while I was aware of this magnificent piece of cinema history, I had not had the pleasure of viewing it myself.  He hooked me up with a copy, and to say this film lived up to my expectations would be an understatement.

I couldn’t help but be charmed by this movie.  It is filled with so many questionable creative choices that were fucking ridiculous.  Mario and Luigi not being blood related?  Sure.  Cheesy Italian accents replaced with a New York ones?  Yeah, why not?  Having all the enemies in Super Mario Bros. be canonically dinosaurs?  I mean... It's a choice informed by the great media dino wave of 1993, but whatever.  Yoshi is a dinosaur, if we want to extend that to goombas and Koopa for whatever reason, I'm down.  Having these dinosaurs live underneath New York City in a parallel dimension?  It's based on a video game, why the fuck not?  Everything is so goddamn bonkers.

The opening credits roll, and we’re told that 65 million years ago, a meteor created said underground parallel universe dinosaur land.  We witness a human-looking woman, who is really a dinosaur, leaving an egg baby on a church doorstep.  Don’t think about it too hard, the logistics of a human giving birth to an egg that size are just... it’s gross to think about.

We’re then introduced to the titular characters, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.  Yes, their last names are Mario.  Making them the Mario brothers.  Because this movie is interested in answering the important questions.  Mario is the owner of a failing plumbing business, while Luigi is a conspiracy theorist who would have really enjoyed modern-day YouTube.

While they’re out trying to find work, they run into Miss Amy March herself, Daisy, who is an archeologist in charge of digging up dinosaur bones from a New York City construction site.  She’s being forced off the property by the mob, who apparently are annoyed that a blonde lady in cargo shorts is coming between them and whatever the fuck they’re building.  

They try and intimidate her, she storms off to use a payphone to call for security, and is almost picked up by two inconspicuous bozos in a cab who apparently are stealing Brooklyn women off the street for no reason.  Their plan is quickly thwarted by a random moving pane of glass.

Instead, Daisy runs right into Luigi, who forgets how to human once he sees her pretty face.  He asks her on a date, where she reveals even more exposition.  She believes the meteor that destroyed the dinosaurs landed in New York City.  Oh, and also, she’s the abandoned egg baby.  Luigi is also an orphan, and this shared trauma apparently gets them both hot and bothered.  They wander off to the dig site, because an underground pit attached to a sewer is so romantic, and it is also where Daisy feels the most comfortable.

What if we made out at the bone pit?

Their touching moment is cut short when the mob sabotages the plumbing in the sewer and water starts flooding the area.  They run to get Mario, because he is a plumber, to fix the pipes, which is so fucking clutch, I love it so much.

While the Mario brothers are distracted, Daisy is captured by the weirdo twins and dragged into the alternate dinosaur universe.  Mario and Luigi follow, and we’re treated to the most fucking amazing transition scene of Bob Hoskins spinning wildly through colorful rocks.

Turns out, parallel dinosaur world, or Dinohattan, is fucking lit as hell.  I am convinced that Futurama based their sewer city on this movie.

King Koopa, who is a dinosaur with badly bleached hair gelled back in an effort to look like Michael Douglas in Wall Street, has taken over Dinohattan.  He is the one who asked the goons to kidnap Daisy, because of the tacky crystal necklace she wears.  Apparently, it is a piece of the meteorite that crashed into earth, and once he puts the piece back into the original space rock, the dinosaur world will merge with the mammal world after 65 million years of his people being sequestered underground, and Koopa will have endless resources at his disposal.  Also, Daisy is a princess, and her dad is a giant fungus taking over the city, so that’s totally normal and not at all weird.

Problem is, the two idiots he sent to grab her didn’t think to check if she was wearing the necklace.  Turns out, Luigi has the necklace, or had the necklace, as they are quickly mugged by a granny, who is then robbed by a lady with a bright red spiky latex coat and springy robot feet.  The brothers are then arrested by the dinocops and are grilled by Koopa for the whereabouts of the rock.  When they play dumb he uh... reacts in a proportionate way.

I am not even going to attempt to explain the devo process...  It is a combination of insane and fucking disgusting.  Whoever in the costuming department looked at the cute fucking mushroom Goombas in the video game and decided to translate them into this scaly, jagged-teethed nightmare fuel deserves to be committed.

Also, there’s only one lizard king, and that’s Jim Morrison, so back off, buddy.

What is hilarious to me is this is the story the screenwriters came up with.  Super Mario, as a video game, doesn’t have much lore, right?  You slide down pipes, you jump on mushrooms, and you save the princess from a spiky turtle.  They took that game and created... This.  A parallel underground dinosaur universe that has a sentient fungus as a king, taken over by a human-like t-rex that devolves other lizards into tiny-headed night paralysis demons.

The middle of this movie alternates between a slog of expositional scenes about Daisy being a princess, and pretty entertaining action scenes of the Mario brothers running from Goombas while trying to find and save Daisy.  Mario and Luigi steal a cop car and drive it off a cliff Thelma and Louise-style; They cosplay as Ketchup and Mustard to steal the necklace back from Big Burtha while asking her to stomp on them; They jump off a bridge into a garbage truck; They break the pipes in Koopa’s building to freeze everything, and get past an elevator full of Goombas by making them dance.

Watching Daisy damsel-in-distress-it in Koopa’s high rise office building and fend off advances by a long-tongued dude who devolved her father into a mushroom was pretty boring and disturbing.  Alternatively, witnessing Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo pretend to jump on giant sheets of fungus really sold this movie for me.  It succeeds when it tries to be ridiculous and fun, and fall flat when it attempts to integrate any sort of drama that I’m assuming was added to make this story more appealing to adults.

Mario and Luigi eventually find Daisy, and she introduces them to her father - a giant dripping blob suspended from the ceiling.  Luigi wants in her pants badly enough that he pretends this is a reasonable thing to do.  Mario heads further into the building to free the other ladies kidnapped by tweedle dee and tweedle dum that they initially thought were Daisy, but weren’t.  The newly assembled group are able to escape by sliding down the frozen pipes on a mattress before they are green-screen launched out of the pipe and back into the greater Dinohattan area.

The amount of times Mario and Luigi use their plumbing skills to overcome obstacles may be my favorite part of this movie.  The plot goes out of its way to justify a really bizarre character trait for the original game.

Anyway, the end of this movie comes at you fast.  First, the sentient fungus king gives Mario and Luigi a bomb, and they decide to wind it up and aim it at Koopa.  This takes about 10 minutes of screen time to matter again.

Koopa’s second-in-command tries to merge Daisy’s stolen necklace with the meteor, and instead gets skeletoned to bits, prompting the best line delivery reaction from Daisy, a deadpan “Yikes”.

Because the necklace has now been returned to its resting place, the worlds start to merge Infinity War style.

“Mr. Koopa, I don’t feel so good.”

Koopa and Mario end up back in Manhattan, and Koopa just starts shooting his devo guns at human mobsters, turning them back into primates, and giving their wardrobe a whole new literal definition of monkey suit.

Luigi uses his super plumbing powers to drill the necklace back out of the meteor, separating the worlds again.  The bomb finally goes off, they devo Koopa into slime, and the citizens celebrate by immediately painting over his ever-prevalent propaganda.

The king evolves back into a mushroom person or something, and Daisy stays in Dinohattan to get to know her father better.  Mario and Luigi return to their lives in Brooklyn as plumbers, and their heroic acts make them conspiracy community famous, as they now refer to our heroes as the Super Mario Brothers.  Roll Credits.

Except not, because Daisy returns to ask for the help of a couple of great plumbers, setting up a sequel that will never, ever happen because there is no god and we’re not allowed to feel joy.

Honestly, Super Mario Bros. is great.  It owned every bold plot and visual choice it made, and I have to respect it.  I could listen to John Leguizamo say Mario like 700 more times.  Y’all are missing out if you think you’re too cool to watch this movie.

I’ll be back to musical reviews later this month.  I have a few seasonally appropriate movies in my big red sack waiting to be placed under the tree...  Yes, I meant to phrase it that way.

[shadowedstilinski]

rules: Tag ten followers you want to know better

(but I’m a coward so if you follow me... I want to know you better, plz feel free to do this)

tagged by: @firstxchimera !!! thank you!!!

name:  Cesca

star sign:  Aquarius

height:  4″9 / 4″10.... >-<

middle name: Louise

put your  spotify on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?

Something I Need - OneRepublic -> had to click to start the shuffle

Don’t Stop The Music - Rihanna [ 1 ]

In The End - Linkin Park

Puppeteer - MAX

Warriors - Imagine Dragons

Goodbye - Avril Lavigne

No One’s Here To Sleep - Bastille, Naughty Boy [ 6 ]

grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?

 ‘trotting at its side. Harry stared. What did’

(uhh, so, it’s super short because the book i picked up was the third volume of the three POA a4-sized large print (Arial Rounded MT Bold size 24) edition volumes i got from the RNIB,,,, so yeah)

ever had a poem or a song written about you? nope, never

when was the last time you played air guitar? uhhh i do not recall

who is your celebrity crush? haha, nah fam

what’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

hate: screeching children lbr, chalk scraping against a chalkboard,,, spend 7 years in a catholic primary school, you’ll hate that sound too

love:  human voices count as sound, frankly, and this song is great, especially that part. Starkid are amazing.

do you believe in ghosts ? ehhh

how about aliens ? it’d be frankly ridiculous to believe there is literally nothing other than us in the expanse of the greater universe, like,,, why would you do that

do you drive ? cannae do that my dude

if so, have you ever crashed ?  n/a, i have been in a crash though, luckily nobody was hurt

what was the last book you read ?  Read, as in completed? Dunno, I’m reading Gifed right now though - not a bad book so far

do you like the smell of gasoline ? uh, yeah, i guess so

what was the last movie you saw ?  full length? uhhhhh i’ll get back to you on that (i have a rlly rlly shoddy memory sorry... maybe Sunrise??? I do film studies btw otherwise I’d have literally never watched that lmao)

what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ? i am a very lucky person - the worst injury i’ve ever had was when i was like, four, and i was learning to ride a bike. Tiny baby me catapulted over the handlebars after hitting a curb and split the skin under my mouth on the edge - I needed stitches and I had a scar for forever, but it’s mostly gone now. You wouldn’t know by looking at me. Co-incidentally, I never learnt how to ride a bike.

do you have any obsessions right now ? huhhhhhhh starkid musicals

do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? uhhhhhhhhhhhh

in a relationship? ha! Ask again in like, five years, i’m 19, don’t rush me

[elleiam]

Fulbright Korea ETA: Fall Daily Schedule

I’ve been wanting to type this up for a while now, as I saw one on another Gakri blog from way back when that calmed a lot of nerves when I was looking forward to what life might be like past the bubble of Orientation. 

But, of course, if you are reading this right now either as a prospective applicant or someone who just found out you’ll be at Gakri (welcome to the chaos), keep in mind the mantra of Fulbright: it depends. My schedule is just one of 115 for this current year, and what my life is like at my placement has differences from everyone else’s, as theirs is different from mine. Regardless, this is what a weekday generally looks like for me!

7:40: Eyes open - it used to be 6:50 in September, 7:20 in October, 7:30 in November, and here we are in December. I still leave the house at the same time though. I no longer wake up to an alarm, just my host mom saying “지후! 일어나 일어나!” (Jihoo! Wake up! Wake up!) followed a minute later by a louder “지후!!!! 일어났어?? 일어나!!” (Jihoo! Did you wake up? Wake up!) She then blasts the news from the kitchen, which thank goodness for because that’s usually what’ll finally convince my brain that it’s time to start the day.

7:50: Eat breakfast - my host mom comes up with different menus every day. It ranges from manduguk (dumpling soup), to egg and spam sandwiches, to udon, to kimchi fried rice. 

8:00 or 8:15: Leave for school - I try to leave at 8 when it’s the start of a new lesson and I have to set up the computer for my first period class. The computer in my classroom is ancient and runs so slowly that it generally takes me 20 to 25 minutes to do the following four actions: 1) turn on the computer 2) open chrome 3) get to google drive 4) open my ppt. That’s crazy, right? My co-teacher and I both mourned together when her application to get a new computer was rejected. If I don’t have a first period, I’ll leave at 8:15.

8:15-8:29: Get to school - I’m supposed to be at school before 8:30 and I’ve yet to get to my office after the bell rang (go me!). Since I don’t have homeroom, which is from 8:30-8:40, it really doesn’t matter if I’m late, but it’s the principle of it! If it’s a set-up-a-new-lesson day, I dash to my classroom as soon as I drop my stuff off in the office praying the computer will cooperate.

8:50-12:20: The first four classes of the day. Each class is 45 minutes with a 10 minute passing period. Sometimes 45 minute goes on forever, and sometimes it’s like where did the time go?? I always have a co-teacher with me in the classroom but usually they just glare at loud students and help translate when I look at them pleadingly. They let me have full control of the classroom, which I really appreciate! I always feel like they’ve got my back but never feel like they’re crowding. #dreamteam

I generally teach 3-4 classes a day of 30-33 students each (that’s 500+ students total and no I haven’t memorized names), which means I have a lot of time at my desk. Up until November, I pretty much spent all my time lesson planning. I didn’t understand the concept of desk warming because I was always busy. As the semester comes to a close though, I definitely have a lot less stress and therefore a lot more free time at my desk. Usually I’ll do Infusion stuff (now that gmail consistently works woot woot) or read ~

12:00-1:35: Lunch officially starts at 12:20, but if I don’t have a 4th period, we get to go grab lunch 20 minutes earlier. It’s nice because then you can eat and hear your thoughts at the same time. Gakri is giant with over 1,000 students, so they have to make lunch 75 minutes in order to make sure every student eats. It’s such a long time, but so nice when you just ain’t ready to teach those afternoon classes just yet.

1:35-3:15: The next two classes of the day

3:15-3:35: Cleaning time! Gakri is a really dirty school. There’s just too many kids and they’re at that age where dirt just doesn’t bother them. They drag their shoes along the walls and roll around in the hallways even though it’s covered in dust and hair. shivers. Some lovely girls from class 9 are in charge of cleaning my classroom, and we usually have a good time. I’ll sneak them some candy, play music from the speakers, and complain about how gross the boys are... I love when one of them comes in and just goes “Uh, Lauren. What happened today? The classroom is so.... messy...”

3:35-4:20: The final class of the day. Thank goodness I only teach this period once a week because no student is ever thinking about school during this time.

Here is video evidence of that crazy. (I love this class btw). Things to note: the volume of the students and the fact that these two girls were straight up jumping like frogs back there before I threatened (and then obviously followed through) to film them.

4:30: Time to go home! Sometimes I’ll meet up with Louise, who teaches at a high school nearby, for tea. If not, I go home and just chill out in my bed for an hour... or two ~oops not productive~

Anytime between 5:30 and 8:00: Dinner time - because of hagwons and my mom’s job running her own class, our dinner times vary every day, but I think after four months I’ve finally figured out when we eat each day. Mondays 6:30, Tuesdays 8, Wednesdays 7, Thursdays 5:30/6, Friday 8. Boom. The dad eats at his company and comes home late often, so it’s just the four of us, but it’s nice to get this family time! 

After dinner: I often help with the dishes and then go back to my room to do any of the following: study Korean, watch youtube, do some stuff for Infusion, write a blog post, read. Sometimes you can catch me playing games or just talking with Jaehee, my host sister.

9:00: Four times a week I teach my host siblings English and Chinese, twice each. English is fun because it’s an excuse for me to dig into my host brother’s life and actually get him to tell me things about his life, sneaky huh. Chinese is a little more stressful because they knew nothing before we started, and I’ve never taught fundamental Chinese grammar before, what even is that! I worry that I often make it harder than it needs to be because I’m trying to figure it out myself still... 

11:00: Time for bed - Just kidding! Fooled ya. Actually in September and October I actually slept at this time, but now I’ll just tell my host fam that I’m off to bed and then stay up for another hour or two reading.

And that’s my day! Weekends are a whole different story, but generally from Monday to Friday you can find me following this pretty much to the tee. Gotta love that routine, amiright? And somehow because I’m in a different country not a single day feels quite like the one before.

[bofursunboundbraids]

85 Statements

I was tagged by @catthefearless Thank you!!

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

LAST

1. drink - Sparkling water.

2. phone call - Ummm...probably ordering dinner to go from Giovanni’s last week.

3. text message - My mama asking if I want to check out a new coffee place when she gets off work. (Answer: Fuck yeah!)

4. song you listened to - “Wrong Crowd” by my beautiful child Tom Odell

5. time you cried - Uh...last week after my employment counselor appointment. Cuz insecurity is a mutha!

EVER

6. dated someone twice? - Yes, because young and stupid/insecure (see a pattern forming?)

7. kissed someone and regretted it - There are a couple I side-eye, but regret? No.

8. been cheated on - Yes, but I’ve also cheated.

9. lost someone special - Yes.

10. been depressed - I experience bouts of frustration and disappointment, with and in life in general.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - A number of times. I can no longer drink rum.

FAV COLORS

12. Midnight blue

13. Emerald green.

14. Lavender.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. made new friends - Yes! Thank you tumblr!

16. fallen out of love - No.

17. laughed until you cried - Maybe?

18. found out someone was talking about you - No.

19. met someone who changed you - No.

20. found out who your friends are - Yes.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - No.

GENERAL

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? - Most of them, I think. I’m still waiting for the day the website, along with Mark Zuckerberg, gets shot into the sun.

23. do you have any pets - My genday conure Butchie my Buddy bird.

24. do you want to change your name - I dumped my last name last fall for my maternal grandfather’s birth name. My first name is 500% me.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Got the slip-on checker board vans I’ve wanted since junior high and had dinner with my mom and nephew at Cracker Barrel cuz that shit is my JAM!

26. what time did you wake up today - 8am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Reading “Kidnapped by the Pirate” by Keira Andrews, a most excellent mlm historical romance.

28. what is something you can’t wait for - To be employed, earning decent money, so I can FINALLY GO TO NEW ZEALAND FFS!

30. what are you listening to right now - I’m watching “It Came from Outer Space” (1953)

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom - This is funny, because I was recently trying to remember when the last time I knew someone named Tom was. Junior High maybe?

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - I haven’t been to New Zealand yet, which is really starting to piss me off.

33. most visited website - Tumblr, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube.

34. hair color - Currently John Frieda’s Brilliant Brunette (3N) which is a wonderful deep chocolate brown, what I call Arwen/Frodo brown. It’s dark without making me look washed out. Perfect.

35. long or short hair - It’s a toss up between a Louise Brooks bob and mid-neck length. Anything longer, on me, is pointless.

36. do you have a crush on someone - I’m kinda torn between Martin Freeman, Jack White, and NY attorney general Eric Schneiderman.

37. what do you like about yourself- I can’t give up and I will never settle.

38. want any piercings? - No.

39. blood type - O negative. I’m UNIVERSAL BABY!

40. nicknames - Steesh, Bobeesh

41. relationship status - happily single.

42. zodiac - Pisces

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave TV shows - Hawaii 5-0 (original), Wild Wild West, Route 66, Perry Mason, X-Files, Twin Peaks, Hannibal, Streets of San Francisco, WKRP in Cincinnati, Unsolved Mysteries...

45. tattoos - No, but I have a list of the ones I want.

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - I had an emergency appendectomy right before my 13th birday.

48. piercings - 2

49. sport - my ex was an Aikido instructor, so I have a brown belt, but I gaven’t trained in a really long time.

50. vacation - About a year and half ago, Mum and I went to Boise, Idaho to check it out as a possible place to move to. It was nice, but we’ve scratched it off the list. Now we’re looking at Virginia.

51. trainers - since Nike bought Converse (fuck you very much), I am now a 500% Vans girl.

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - The last thing I ate was chicken shawarma with basmati rice and hummus. So freaking good.

53. drinking - I’m a coffee girl and I love a good lavender mocha.

54. I’m about to watch - it’s bed time. Gotta do my Italian (Duolingo) then reading.

55. waiting for - me to be at a point where I can start being paid for building freaking websites so I can go to freaking New Zealand!

56. want - To be paid.

57. get married - I’ve never believed in the institution.

58. career - I wanna make pretty, responsive web sites that achieve high seo rankings - AND GET PAID!

59. hugs or kisses - I like them both, as long as it’s someone I want to be doing it with. I would kind of like to kiss a boy whose name I don’t know and then never see him again.

60. lips or eyes - For me it’s the holy trinity; eyes, nose, lower lip.

61. shorter or taller - At 5’7” I feel taller than most other women. If we’re talking guys...I’ve had both, but prefer taller.

62. older or younger - Age is irrelevant, unless they’re really young. I abide by the equation (half your age plus 7)

63. nice arms or stomach - How about hands?

64. hookup or relationship - I’ve never experienced a hookup, but I never say never.

65. troublemaker or hesitant - I’m game as long as no one is getting hurt and no laws are being broken and no assholery is being committed.

HAVE YOU EVER

66. kissed a stranger - once, a long time ago.

67. drank hard liquor - Yup.

68. lost glasses - Sunnies? Yes. Readers? Between Mum and I, there are like twenty pairs floating around the house, so that’s a big no. Have broken quite a few, however.

70. sex on the first date - Ewww, no! Unless...

71. broken someone’s heart - Yes. My one big regret.

72. had your heart broke - Yes, but no.

73. been arrested - No

74. cried when someone died - No

75. fallen for a friend - Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - Fuck yeah!

77. miracles - No.

78. love at first sight - I believe in the chemical reaction that happens in the brain when physical attraction occurs.

79. santa claus - Fuck yeah Santa RULES!

80. kiss on a first date - Yes.

81. angels - No.

OTHER

82. best friend’s name - Her name’s Shannon and she’s my mom.

83. eye color - Green.

84. fave movie - The Three Musketeers (1973), The Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit (Jackson), Casablanca, Jaws, Dracula (1931), The Big Sleep, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. I’d also like to give a big shout out to the entire genre of 40s/50s Film Noir as well as 1950s SciFi and teen exploitation films, that shit gives me life!

85. fave actor - Humphrey Bogart, Raymond Burr, Jack Lord, Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe, Katherine Hepburn, Cate Blanchett, Mads Mikkelsen, Peter Lorre, Bela Lugosi, Jack Lemmon, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Laird Creager (btw...if you don’t know who that is, Google him! He was a queer actor who died way too young, right before his career was on the verge of really taking off. Some say his would’ve been not unlike that of Vincent Price, another one of my most very favorites. Check out “The Lodger” from 1944. It’s a take on Jack the Ripper and he is BRILLIANT! It also stars George Sanders and Merle Oberon.)

I’m not tagging anyone specifically, therefore I tag EVERYONE! Let us know who you are, and please tag me if you do!😍

[calamity-bean]

Harlots 1.04 reactions

So, I LOVED THIS EPISODE. Tensions are rising all around, yes, in subtle and overt ways alike, and there are definitely many things being set up to go HORRIBLY WRONG, yes, but I loved it. And look how precious Lucy looks with her hair all up in curls!

What’s the etiquette about how long I have to wait before screaming about this ep publicly, btw? Or posting caps or gifs of it? ‘Cause, like, I don’t wanna spoil anything for anyone, but uh. I’ve got a lot of feelings. I will always tag #harlots spoilers on things from the most recent ep, but it’s difficult to know when things are considered fair game when it’s airing on different schedules and platforms internationally.

For now, spoilers below the cut. In which I offer unexpectedly Deep Thoughts™ about that final scene and ramble about my favorite bits — namely:

VIOLET + AMELIA + THE FEAST IN HELL

“There’s a story, about a feast in Hell...”

Oh my god, I am slain. I love these two. And oysters! Feeding each other oysters, for goodness’ sake. Would clams have been too on the nose, you think?

Then again, maybe those were clams. I don’t know how to tell shellfish apart. But I do know a beautiful blossoming sapphic romance when I see one, and I’m so glad that this one was not destined to be only subtext. And yes, Violet definitely moved a bit fast there — one wonders if women loving women is even a concept that exists in Amelia’s brain, sheltered as she is — but I can’t wait to see how Amelia reacts later on and where they do or do not go from here.

It’s also just lovely to see Amelia getting some independence from her mother. I feel for her, because one can plainly tell that she truly loves her mother and is devoted to her, so even though Florence is not a fave of mine, I sympathize with Amelia’s love. And with Florence’s love for Amelia in turn. Not to mention that I’m much more intrigued by Florence as of this episode than I was previously, given the revelation about her past!

HARRIET LENNOX DIDO, QUEEN OF CARTHAGE

Let’s just say that I, like Lord Repton, am impressed by Harriet’s performance here. I mean. Damn. I’ve been calling Nancy the dominatrix of my heart, but Harriet seems cut from the same cloth. I was pretty weak for her bossiness, I gotta say.

I really love Harriet, and although I sympathize with her initial resistance to taking this step and don’t want her to do anything she doesn’t want to, I have to agree that harloting stands her a better chance of earning enough money to buy her children’s freedom than simply being a kitchen maid did. That scene where she goes to see her kids and Benjamin sends them inside — HEARTBREAKING.

Honestly, fuck Ben Lennox and his pouty little face. My heart just, like, aches thinking of how much Harriet misses her kiddos, and I thought it was well-done and in-character that the thing that made her actually consider harloting in the first place was hearing about Kitty’s child.

And then we come to the end of the episode and holy SHIT:

I THOUGHT I WAS IMAGINING THE WEIRD SEXUAL TENSION BETWEEN CHARLOTTE AND HAXBY.

I WAS NOT.

I was ... not imagining it. 

Look — I already loved Edward Hogg from his roles in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell and Taboo, so I suppose I’ve been trying to convince myself that the way he and Charlotte kept ... flirt-bickering in previous eps was just me projecting my feelings for him onto their interactions. Inflating his character’s importance in my head, y’know? I occasionally allowed myself to play with the idea that something like this would happen (despite more seriously shipping Charlotte with Marney), but I didn’t think it actually would!

Not that this is honestly a good turn of events, mind. A bit of frantic hate-sex up against a wall is not going to make Charlotte and Haxby actually like each other, and now more than ever, I suspect that this little war between them is going to end badly for them both. Probably worse for Haxby, considering he’s not, y’know, a main series protagonist. But I always foresaw this feud creating big problems for Charlotte somewhere down the line, and now it has even more potential than ever for very big problems indeed. For the nonce, though? To be honest, for the nonce, I can’t help but simply grin about my boy getting quality hate fucked. Didn’t really look like Mr. Haxby is the world’s most talented lover, so far as finesse goes, but at least he’s passionate!

More seriously, it’s a fascinating turn of events for both of them, from a characterization perspective. Fun to see Haxby both literally and metaphorically so much less buttoned-up than usual, yes, dropping his priggish, holier-than-thou attitude so readily, but the real point of interest is, of course, Charlotte. A major theme throughout this episode is that she is losing control. Despite what she says in her handjob lesson to Lucy about how men and their dicks are the easiest things in the world to manage, Charlotte is losing her grip on Howard, and she’s losing her grip on herself when it comes to Marney.

So, fucking Haxby? Was about regaining control. It was about her being upset and angry and set aside and disregarded and betrayed by both Howard and her own feelings, and then here comes this jerk who always acts so superior to her, so it’s about literally grabbing this jackass by the dick and regaining control in the way that Charlotte is used to controlling men. Even snooty Haxby can’t resist her, yeah? It was an impulsive and bitter and aggressive act, but in the moment, at least, I think it gave her back a sense of power.

The consequences ... I’m not sure what the consequences will be. She could leverage it against Haxby, or he could leverage it against her. As much as I like the idea that they could possibly overcome their differences, I doubt it will suddenly be sunshine and kittens between them now, let’s just say that.

Other Things:

Lucy catching the eyes of Lords Fallon & Osborne? NOT GOOD, Y'ALL. NOT HEARTENED BY THIS TURN OF EVENTS.

I feel so protective of Lucy, I am so afraid for her. This poor girl has already been through way too much and I just ... want to fight anyone who would dare harm her. Just having to be a harlot is obviously traumatic enough for her, not to mention her time at the Reptons; plleeeease don’t throw her to the mercy of the likes of Fallon and Osborne, too...

Holy shit, it’s Lydia without her makeup and wig! I scarcely recognized her. She looks so normal!

Emily and Charles ... Charles and Emily. I kind of love their relationship? I don’t know. He’s a fool for sure, and she can be a bit of a fool, too, and it’s almost endearing to see him try to stand up to Mama, but mostly it just makes me cringe. Emily’s not among my favorites, but I don’t wish any ill on her, and I hope she manages to escape at some point now that she’s starting to glimpse below the Quigley house’s gilded surface.

Since Emily’s so wrapped up in the Quigley side of the narrative, though, dare I suspect that one of her big roles in the narrative might be to stumble upon some information regarding the kidnappings...?

Good for Marie-Louise for jumping ship, though. She’s a businesswoman. Sees an opportunity, seizes it. I like her.

We’re four eps in and I’m only now figuring out what the heck Josef Altin’s character, like, is. (i.e., He’s also a sex worker.) Up till now he was just spying and loitering sneakily and I didn’t quite know what his deal was. I still do not, however, know his name. I’m sure they said it, but I didn’t catch it. Altin’s not listed on the show’s IMDb, for some reason (neither is Ed Hogg??), so I can’t even check there. I’ve just been calling him Pyp. I suspect that even if I do manage to pick up his name, I will continue to call him Pyp.

Anyway, the point of that tangent is that I really liked the outfit he was wearing for the masquerade.

Lord and Lady Repton continue to be the strangest humans, and I cringe a little thinking of what Marney must be putting up with in their employ. Marney, if they invite you out for hunting, fucking run.

Anyway, if y’all need me, I’ll be lowkey screaming inside about this episode till next week. You are always welcome to come scream your thoughts at me!

[herbalzee]

Get to know me tag!!!

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag

   1. headphones (always!)    2. at least 50 hair ties    3. a full bottle of perfume    4. free pens from like everywhere    5. lots of tissues lmao

Five Things In My Bedroom:

a fish tank! i love my lil fishies

shoe cabinet

a Moriarty (from Sherlock BBC) calendar of him saying “Miss me?”. I love it

a small yellow chair!  

a color-coordinated bookshelf!!!

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life:

learn sign language!

travel all over europe

write my own book

become a therapist

have kids!! and pets!!!

Five Things That Make Me Happy:

hanging with friends!!

listening to music, podcasts and ASMR

watching movies

doing artistic things?? idek what that means but like i love going to operas and theaters and taking aesthetic pictures and being creative, shit like that

talking, ranting, expressing my opinions comfortably, theorizing, brainstorming

Five Things On My To-Do List:

read books

hang with friends

write short stories- or write in general lmao

travel!!!

prepare for uni... i need to seriously do that

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

i am passionate about psychology

i had an obsession with piercings and tattoos when i was younger

i had the yellow belt in karate when i was in practice

im very old school about silly things yet quite liberal about the serious stuff

im basically in love with malmo, sweden

Name?: zaina

Nicknames?: zee

Zodiac?: sagittarius

Sexual Orientation?: straight

Ethnicity?: middle eastern/ north african

Favorite Fruit?: mango!!!!

Favorite Season?: winter

Favorite Flower?: after a quick flower research, i found the soft pink spray roses and the blue hydrangea the most appealing to me

Favorite Scent?: vanilla! cocoa! banana-scented stuff (or generally fruit-scented stuff). old books!!! 

Favorite Animal?: bees!! or just any domesticated animals honestly (that can be kept at homes or farms)

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: tea

Cat or dog?: dogs

Dream Trip?: a boat travelling all around western europe!!!

Number of Followers?: i dont really care about this stuff

What do I post about?: any posts containing message worth-spreading, funny content or aesthetically-pleasing stuff..

Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope! so famous that i had to close my ask box 

Favorite Band?: twentyone pilots, little mix, imagine dragons, coldplay, hey violet, abba (almost forgot them omg)

Aesthetic?: cinematography, animals and nature, books and libraries, literally anything vintage, multicultures, feminism and femininity. i cant think of other stuff but im majorly into art

Fictional Character I’d Date?: john bender from the breakfast club!!!!

Hogwarts House?: ravenclaw

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people

People tell me that I’m funny

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing well

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS:

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close at my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the united states

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CD’s

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages

I have made a new friend in the past year

Relationship status: single

Favorite color: purple, blue, green

Lipstick or Chapstick: lipstick!!

Last song I listened to: hard times by paramore

Last movie I watched: The Boss Baby

Top three TV shows:

(btw these three tv shows are the only shows ive ever watched and actually finished lmao)

BBC Sherlock

Clique

Yuri! on ice

Top three characters:

These are the ones that came to mind first, not top favorites

Sherlock (Sherlock BBC)

Todd Anderson (Dead poets society)

Savannah Karlsen (Girl, interrupted)

rules: copy/paste and replace my answers with yours and tag people :^)

a - age: 17 
b - biggest fear: my actual biggest fear is too personal so im gonna say my second biggest fear: not achieving anything valuable in my life  
c - current time: 3 am lmao 
d - drink you last had: a peach detox lmao 
e - every day starts with: checking phone  f - favorite song: of all time or currently? ive never had an all time favorite but right now my favorite song is hard times by paramore (mainly the chorus bc its awesome) 
g - ghosts, are they real: only the ones in our heads 
h - hometown: a.d. 
i - in love with: psychology 
j - jealous of: productive people 
k - killed someone: ... 
l - last time you cried: literally yesterday..  m - middle name: dont have one  
n - number of siblings: eins (one) 
o - one wish: to be satisfied with who i am and what i have p - person you last called/texted: im talking to my friend on the phone right now as im doing this.. shes the one who so kindly guided me to these fun questions q - questions you’re always asked: “why are you so quiet?” “what major are you getting into and at which university?”  
r - reasons to smile: youre very much well and alive!!

s - song last sang: i was having a fetus 1d songs marathon at like 2 am the other day so... definitely the entire up all night album

t - time you woke up: these days.. 12 pm, bc im tired and its my holiday 
u - underwear color: ohhhh boi v - vacation destination: anywhere cold filled with warm people 
w - worst habit: procrastination 
x - x-rays you’ve had: the most recent one i remember is a chest x ray y - your favorite food: pasta 
z - zodiac sign: sagittarius

post a screenshot of my lock screen, home screen, and last song played

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions. Then tag some friends.

I choose:

bbc sherlock

clique

yuri! on ice

The first character you loved:

ohhh, first was sherlock! then john almost 0.001 secs later

im pretty sure it was elizabeth. shes the cutest and i relate to her the most

probably Minako Okukawa, because shes so charming and funny

The character you never expected to love so much:

mrs hudson!!!!

louise!!! shes so smart and gorgeous and the least involved in the drama

yurio!!! i used to dislike him lmao but now hes my son

The character you relate to most:

molly hooper

like i said above, elizabeth!

ohh definitely yuri

The character you’d slap

john because sherlock suffered sooo much for him and opened his heart only to be abandoned because john is a naive idiot who still cant tell sherlock’s NOT a sociopath

SO MANY bc almost all of them did shitty things.. but the ones id slap right on sight are Alistair and the Steiner dude

ohmygod no, theyre all pure!! probably yurio bc that kid needs to love himself (but id immediately hug him right after)

Three favorite characters (these are in order of preference):

sherlock & john (one answer), mrs hudson, WIGGINS

holly, rachel, and fay (elizabeth and jude too)

the obvious trio: yuri, victor and yurio

A character you liked at first but not so much anymore:

mary lmao

alistair. i was a little suspicious of him but i liked him at the beginning bc he was cute and innocent. i HATE him now obviously

i love them all.. theres not a single one i dislike

A character you did not like at first, but they’ve grown on you:

ahahah mycroft

 uh georgia

christopher and JJ (but now i love them both so much)