#UndeadHumor

[rodanhoax]

Jaune: *Wielding the relic of destruction* It's over Pyrrha! Give me back my son!

Pyrrha: Don't you mean, "our" son?

Jaune: Pyrrha... y-you look so different.

Pyrrha: I did a little something with my hair. And my lips.

Jaune: Are those thigh highs?

Pyrrha: So you noticed those too?

Ironwood: Okay Jaune, take the shot.

Pyrrha: What do you think of them?

Jaune: I uh... um-

Ironwood: She's standing right there, Jaune. Take the shot.

Pyrrha: Do you like my open bust dress~?

Jaune: Oh god yeah.

Qrow: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Port: Blast this harpy!

Jaune: I'm sorry guys, b-but I cant.

Port: The shrew has been forged from brimstone.

Qrow: Translation?

Ironwood: He's saying she's an evil clone.

Jaune: I hear ya. Counterpoint:

Jaune: She's really hot.

Qrow: Damn it Arc!

Port: Reject women! Embrace huntsmanship!

Ironwood: Can't you see how evil she is?!

Pyrrha: I'm going for the goth girlfriend look.

Jaune: Okay guys, I know she's an evil clone... But, she is the mother of my child. To be honest, this situation is confusing as hell for me. I... I'm tapping out.

Qrow: Tapping out?

Ironwood: You're a huntsman, you can't tap out.

Jaune: Dude, I'm tapping out.

Port: What would Ozpin think of this treason?

Jaune: The professor?

-Flashback-

Ozpin: You're like a son to me Jaune, I trust you with my very life. I want you to know that I keep a gun in hidden inside my cane. It's always with me Jaune. I sleep with it. I dream of it. You can never be too careful around these students-

Jaune: It's not working, he... keeps talking about guns.

Ironwood: Guns?

Jaune: Yeah.

Qrow: That doesn't sound right.

Pyrrha: Are you sure this isn't his evil clone?

Jaune: He kind of hinted it was for... self defense?

Port: Guns are nothing before my axe!

Qrow: Isn't your axe also a gun?

Port: Silence!

Ironwood: You don't think the professor actually used it do you?

Jaune: Do I think the professor shot someone? No, of course not. That's like totally ridiculous. Besides, we would have heard about it.

Pyrrha: He could have just wiped your memories.

Jaune: What?

Pyrrha: He could have shot someone then wiped everyone's memories about the event. With his magic it would have been easy for him.

Jaune: This is a terrifying thought.

Ironwood: Don't listen to her Jaune!

Pyrrha: Join me Jaune. The Grimm Queen needs a king.

Jaune: Not gonna lie, Grimm Queen is kind of weird, but i'm in.

Port: Step away from her you fool!

Jaune: I'm kind of bricked up at the moment.

Qrow: Don't worry Arc, I know this ain't easy. That's why I offer myself... as a sacrifice. Do what you want to me Pyrrha, make me your freaky sex puppet for all I care. Just let Arc go!

Port: What a noble gesture!

Ironwood: He is truly the best of us.

Qrow: Tie me up. Slap me. Step on me! It's alright, my ego ain't that big. Just leave the kid out of this!

Jaune: I know what you're doing.

Qrow: You ain't gotta thank me Jaune. Y'know... I really shoulda said this sooner, but... but you're like a brother to me!

Jaune: You've always had a thing for her.

Qrow: Oz would've been proud of ya, kid. I know I sure as hell am.

Jaune: You can't just live out your sick fantasies with my fake goth girlfriend!

Port: Your words can no longer reach him... His heart is set.

Ironwood: We shall remember you, Qrow... We shall remember you.

Qrow: So Pyrrha... How ya wanna do this? Should I take off the cape now, or-

Pyrrha: Sorry, Qrow, but you're a little old for my taste. Not to mention a furry.

Qrow: Furries deserve love!

[greennightingale]

I'm still laughing. You MUST see this!

[punhub85]

Zombie Puns That'll Leave You Dying of Laughter

🧟‍♂️Craving some undead humor? Dive into a collection of zombie puns that are to die for! From brainy one-liners to graveyard giggles, these puns are perfect for adding some spooky fun to your day.​

Whether you're prepping for Halloween or just love a good pun, this list has something for every ghoul and goblin.

👉 Unleash the puns here: 150 Zombie Puns That Are Drop-Dead Funny

[holy-mary-mother-of-joseph]

As much as I dislike AI, there is a really funny series on YT called Elden Ring abridged where the channel uses AI voices to basically turn ER into a family drama, even giving it some plot! And o e of the subplots is about Godfrey falling in love with Rennala and I just think that it's such a fitting ship tbh.

Am I the only one who thinks that Rennala and Godfrey would make a great duo/couple ?

Like, one is a loving boy girl mom and the other is a sport dad who (from what I understand) loved his sons.

Just ditch those godly fuckheads and treat yourself nicely, you deserve it.

[funpolishfox]

So, madness in Elden Ring only affects player-type characters, which means you can only proc madness on Gideon, when it comes to main game bosses. Of course, it's usually not a big deal, since frenzied flame is still good damage source and there are plenty other things you can proc on bosses. I don't think, there's specific lore reason as to why bosses as such Malenia or even Morgott cannot be frenzied (probably being able to proc frenzy animation on such bosses would make fights easier). But I was thinking- what if Frenzied Flame could affect other bosses? I'm speculating now more in lore way than gameplay way. After all, Frenzy Flame is all about despair, pain and misery- we can see it with Edgar after Irina's death and with merchants. It's about wanting to end all the pain, about wanting to burn down everything, so you cannot be hurt any further. It plays on emotions, especially love and care, as such case was with Vyke. Thinking about it, UndeadHumor was onto something when he made sketch with Morgott and Frenzied Flame- some demigods could be greatly influenced by it. Or rather, a specific child of Marika. Messmer. Others could probably combat it to some degree- Morgott was sealing Three Fingers away with Mogh, so it's obvious they were resisting it (and Mogh was influenced already by many other things). Radahn, Ranni and Rykard all have/had strong wills and couldn't be easily swayed. Miquella could probably be swayed, but once losing his emotions, Frenzy Flame couldn't really use him and Malenia is also strong-willed character, resorting to help from Outer Gods only as last-ditched effort. Melina obviously knows about Frenzied Flame and despises it. But Messmer? This man is already knee-deep in pain. He's been mommy's good boy for centuries long, doing war for her and getting nothing in return. Being abbanoned, scorned child, not having any place in his mother's new, perfect world. Forced to hide his serpent nature, something he couldn't control. And losing it all, once he sees his mother truly left him and choose some Tarnished over him. Why wouldn't he want to burn it all? He even states embracing oblivion in his second phase. His flame is already known as flame without honor or grace. He already brought so much pain onto everybody, including himself, he lost people important to him, he knows, he has no future outside of his crusade, which in the end, didn't earn his mother's love or favor. I might be missing some lore details, as I'm still trying to tie main game stuff with DLC revelations, but I won't lie- Messmer using both his red flames and yellow flames the same way Midra did, would be cool as hell. And yes, I am big fan of Messmer and Midra, how could you tell?

[pyrodecor]

Happy Easter! It reads: This Easter remember, jesus was not a zombie He was not mindless nor did he consume anyone. Nor was he a ghoul or a wight. Although his soul and intellect were intact, he was not a rotting corpse. He was not a vampire while he transubstantiated wine into blood he never drank it from a person. Jesus was not a ghost or a wraith. He was corporeal a d still had his wounds. It is clear. Jesus was a lich. A lick is created when a powerful magician or king striving for eternal life uses spells or rituals to bind his soul to his animated corpse and thereby achieves immortality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, their bodies still bearing the wounds they received before their death. Liches often have the power of necromancy, which allow them to bring the dead back to life. #pyrodecor #pyrography #pyrographersofinstagram #woodburning #woodburnedart #happyeaster #happyeaster🐰 #easter #jesus #jesuschrist #zombiejesus #jesuswasalich #zombie #ghoul #wight #vampire #ghost #wraith #lich #undead #undeadhumor #zombiehumor #jesushumor #mekkalulz #easterjoke #easterjokes #jesusjokes #necromancy #followusformore #follow https://www.instagram.com/p/B-4_IbXnzDW/?igshid=upjfdwp5v6fq

[eliza-holmes]

Instagram: TheresNoPlaceLikeHolmes uploaded a photo

Sorry, but I don’t think that make up is going to cover up the fact that I’m dead inside. ☠️

#lookimadeajoke #undeadhumor

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