#Unless it’s hella vague or in a very joking matter

[clownsuu]

I hope this question doesn't make you uncomfortable (extremely sorry if it does) but do you see howdy and wally as a couple? Your art of them is very sweet and I love it a lot

[looks at all my tagged ship art of them and then back at u]

yes HDGDGSH-

[guns-in-the-desert]

Prussia NSFW A-Z

 A= Aftercare

Cleans the sheets immediately, gives you a bath, changes the sheets, and y’all just cuddle.

   B= Body Part

Another titty guy, he’s duper aggressive with them, is absolutely obsessed with biting your boobs, they're always covered in bruises. On him he likes everything, as we know his milkshake brings EVERYONE to the yard.

  C= Cum

A disgusting motherfucker, everywhere, he wants you covered in it, he wants it coming out of your nose (and that’s on an angry dragon), he got it in your eye once and he just laughed at your pain. Don't worry though he clean everything thoroughly 

 D= Dirty secret

He let Hungary peg him once, never again, he’s traumatized, he just doesn’t know how Austria enjoys that.

 E= Experience

Has HELLA experience, he stays “baggin’ bitches” it's kind of he thing, he’s been around a long time, and Prussia’s been dissolved for years what else does he have to do.

 F= Favorite Position

I hope you're flexible, that’s it.

  G= Goofy (is he more serious or goofy in bed)

It really depends how he’s feeling, sometimes he cracks jokes the whole time, other’s he doesn't even speak, you just know.

 H= Hair

Is completely bare, he shaves regularly so it’s not a hassle later, expects you to do the same.

  I= Intimacy

He’s not intimate at all, he’s having a whole ass three hour comedy show, or bullying you, there is no inbetween.

 J= Jack off

He does it all the time and tells you whenever he does it just be like “I did something you're not allowed to.” he’s so damn mean.

K= Kink

EVERY-DAMN-THING he’s nasty, like he loves most bodily fluids (and I hate that), is into age play, not all the time though just on occasion. Is a top, so don’t get it fucked up, will fuck you up, Impact play specifically Flogging. Just a mess really.

  L= Location

Everywhere, not even in everywhere in the house, y’all have straight just broken the law at times, but it’s fine, you only got caught once.

  M= Motivation

Is always ready to fuck, doesn’t matter where, doesn't matter when. He’s always DTF.

 N= No

No scat or pegging (or anything that even vaguely suggests he sub in anyway), that’s it,

 O= Oral

Prefers receiving, but doesn't disappoint is a solid 7.5/10 when it comes to giving he is very precise, so it can get quite repetitive but it feels good so… when you blow him don't use hands, he believes it’s cheating

   P= Pace

Could give sonic a run for his money, honestly look out.

  Q= Quickies 

Likes to tease so isn't the biggest fan unless he’s fucking your face.

  R= Risk

Is willing to risk it all, unless there are minors present, but that really is his only restriction.

 S= Stamina 

Could go on for hours (with about 15-20 min breaks in between a few rounds) on end, scratch that, all motherfucking night.

  T= Toys

Is a firm believer, in you only need me, so unless it’s like paddle, handcuffs, ect., he’s having none of it, no vibrators, dildos, ect.

 U= Unfair

The biggest will hold of your orgasm for hours just for fun, but don’t worry he makes up for all the ones you've missed

 V= Volume

Isn't loud, kinda sucks at dirty talk but he thinks he’s amazing at it, and you CANNOT convince him otherwise

 W= Wild Card

You know how I said y’all got caught once, it was in a hotel pool, for those of you who don't know, water creates suction. He essentially got stuck inside of you, and y’all had to call for help, it didn’t take too long and the hotel staff wouldn’t have pressed charges if Gilbert wasn’t wasn’t such A dick. He was like “I bet you salty cuz my dicks bigger than yours.” and “My girl is hotter than any girl you've ever been with.” Completely unprovoked, in fact that man just saved you. In conclusion y’all didn’t have to get arrested but y’all did

  X= X-Ray

BIG ASS DICK, five meters is an exaggeration but 7 inches ain’t, uncut

  Y= Yearning 

Is number 6 on my top 10 highest sex drive list, which once again says alot about the people above him

Z= ZZZ (How quickly does he fall asleep after?)

This man does not sleep, like at all. Cuddles you until you sleep, and just does extra cleaning.

HELLO, these are honestly my favorite write so I’m a happy to post this, also a reminder request are currently closed.

Up next: Nordics reaction to s/o being hit on

[mrsmaddiebobaddie]

MCYT High School Teacher AU

I don’t know if this has already been done but with student teaching on the brain this was invading my subconscious.

Phil: Principal

The most chill admin you’d ever find (He kind of has to be with the staff at the school)

Will let most things slide if you ask nicely

Has a quiet space in his office for students to take a moment to calm down after acting out. He’ll offer them candy and talk through the situation with them. 

Started out as a counselor at the school, so he still holds a similar mentality when it come to talking with students and staff. 

Always takes the side of his staff. The district is usually in the wrong anyway.

He knows the teachers are the experts, screw whatever requirements the state has, he lets them run their classrooms whichever way is best for the students’ learning

Technoblade:  Literature & Composition

One of the most engaging teachers at the school

Most students love him because he’s real and he’ll tell it like it is. 

Has a coffee machine in his room. It’s rare that he’s not holding a mug in his hand while he teaches

Has high expectations for his students

Rarely gets angry. Even when he’s upset he still comes across as calm.

Usually stays at the school late making sure to give the best possible feedback on papers and reports. He genuinely wants each kid to learn something from his class.

Tommy: Speech and Debate

It’s only his second year of teaching

The students would run the classroom if not for Tommy basically being a student himself

There’s a strong chance his class will be off topic at any given point. It’s always an adventure walking past his door, you never know what you’ll hear

Somehow still gets high scores on average from his students

Keeps students after class when he notices them struggling with school or life in general to talk with them. The conversations are always beneficial.

Will 100% fall asleep during professional development meetings.

Karl: Biology

Tries to act hip, fails most of the time.

Always has the most energy in his lessons, finds unique ways to teach the concepts other than slides and worksheets.

Usually the first one in the building each morning

Will give students different options for final projects so they can chose the best method of showing their evidence of learning. 

Gets lower scores than he should on observations because he doesn’t do well under the pressure. One year Phil didn’t announce when he’d be coming in and watched from the door to give a more accurate review. 

Wears a sweatshirt to class more often than he should

Quackity: Spanish 

Hands on learning whenever possible

Uses the home ec. room to make authentic Mexican dishes with his students when they cover the food and restaurant unit

Will just forget that the kids don’t speak Spanish fluently and ramble on until someone interrupts him.

Slow grader, you get your scores when you get them.

Known to be a bit chaotic with his teaching style, it works for some kids but he does need to reteach certain sections every now and then

One time a kid feel asleep in his class so he had all the other students leave and they had class outside to freak the kid out (They were right outside the classroom window, he could still see the sleeper, he told Phil)

Skeppy: Algebra

Like’s his job, pretty much your average teacher

Can’t stand freshmen, but tolerates them since that’s half the students he has. He prefers teaching advanced algebra to upper classmen

His lessons are always formatted the same, starting with a lesson on how to do that days math, with the remainder of the period being free work time

Holds math challenges with his class and gives out prizes. It’s usually candy, though one time he gave out cash. He made his kids promise not to say a word about it. 

Very good at teaching the same math concepts in different ways to help struggling learners

Always one minute away from being late for first period, but makes it just in time every morning.

Dream: Health/Football and Assistant Basketball Coach

Took the teaching job mainly to coach sports

Still cares about making connections with his students, he uses his class to teach life skills and promote positive social and mental health.

If any of his players are in his class he will pick on them. He has no mercy.

Dreads sex education because no one can be mature about it. He gets revenge by making the students film a “how to say no to sex” video with someone in the class.

His wheeze laugh is iconic. You can hear it from down the hall.

If you meet with him and are honest when you’re struggling, he’ll work with you to pass his class. He isn’t going to ruin your GPA over a project on the negative effects of smoking.

Wilbur: History & Geography/Theater 

The teacher who sits on his desk when he lectures

Is very sarcastic with his students, but knows who can take the teasing and makes sure not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Prefers class discussion over solo work time, he likes hearing student’s perspectives and ideas.

Turtlenecks

One of the teachers most likely to be the crush of teenage girls. 

Not afraid to mark you down for sloppy work. You use a black ink pen and draw precise lines when turning in maps and graphs or you redo it.

Speaks in musical references 

George: Physics

The chillest teacher by far

Due dates? Don’t worry, he’ll accept an assignment literally months after it was supposed to be turned in

Makes difficult topics seems simple when he describes them

He doesn’t really care if you have your phone out in class as long as you’re paying attention and learning the material

The students straight up call him George, he doesn’t seem to care

Placing near the top for the most crushed on teacher

King of multiple choice questions

Eret: Economics & Government

Makes any student in his class feel welcome

One of few teachers who can lecture the entire period without students falling asleep. He always has interesting stories

Let’s kids chose where they sit

Freshmen are always caught off guard by his voice when they hear him for the first time

Spends too much of his own money on supplies for his students and classroom (Honestly most teachers have to spend their own money on necessary supplies, he just goes about and beyond.)

There’s always a group of students who eat lunch in his classroom 

The Union Rep at their school, will fight tooth and nail for the staff members

Tubbo: Band Director

Super cheerful whenever he’s teaching

He rarely has any free time before or after school because he has so many one-on-one lessons and meetings with students

Likes to have practice outside when the weather is nice

Does his best to make his students feel comfortable and relaxed whenever he does performance based assessments. 

He’s also a new teacher, but you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell

He will be in tik toks if you ask him to, and he’s familiar with all the pop culture trends

Let’s the students chose a song to play at the last band concert. Some years have been less chaotic than others, the worst (or best, depending on who you ask) being when the students voted to play Deja Vu from Initial D.

Fundy: Computer Science/Coding 

Begins each class with a cheesy computer joke. Every class.

Everyone knows you can’t get anything past him technology wise. He can see that headphone in your ear from across the room.

Isn’t afraid to assign extra work when students are disrupting class

Once took up an entire class period showing his students how he coded different difficulties in Minecraft. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he plays the game in his spare time. 

About half the students in his class aren’t really interested in computers, they just want to have him as a teacher since everyone says he’s cool.

Known to hack school computers to bypass restrictions

Sucker for pizza parties. Has at least one per semester  

Sapnap: PE/Basketball Coach

Hella competitive 

Abuses his power of having a whistle. Someone should really take it away from him

Gyms shorts every day. Even in the winter. Sometimes he wears sweats, but never jeans.

Doesn’t let anyone sit out of activities

Tries to set up fun tournaments for each activity they do, makes sure to balance the teams so no one has too much of an upper hand.

He’s usually the teacher who mans detention, he tries to make it as positive as it can be though.

Keeps extra sets of gym clothes to give to students who forgot or can’t afford to buy them

Schlatt: Calculus and Stats/Business  

You either love him or are terrified of him

One of the only teachers who can have an “aggressive” teaching style and still connect with students

You will learn something from his class, he makes sure of it. 

Doesn’t accept late work unless you have a really good reason why you couldn’t turn it in

Wears a tie every day

If another teacher needs a last minute sub during his prep period he’ll cover them. Doesn’t matter what subject, he can wing it

He was the reason the school started offering business studies as an elective due to some vague threats towards the district

Niki: Art/German

Teaching voice is so soft

You can’t tell whether or not she’s giving you constructive criticism because everything she says sounds so positive 

Let’s her students lead learning for the most part, she will cover topics that most interest them while still trying to hit the district required standards (luckily teaching electives gives her a bit more freedom with her curriculum)

Her classroom always smells lovely

Will bring in homemade goodies each Friday for the staff room

Holds art galleries at the end of each semester to show off the arts since they often go unappreciated. It has turned out to be a super popular event for students and staff.

Bad: Special Education

This man has endless patience. It’s crazy

Even after the longest days when none of the students are cooperating, he still has a smile on his face

If he hears cursing in the halls he will call you out in front of everyone. Teachers included. 

Makes sure to keep a list of all his students favorites so he can surprise them with gifts on their birthdays or around holidays

He works closely with the other teachers to make sure his kids can be as involved in general education as possible.

Always wears something fun, be it a tie, socks, shirt, or even a full outfit. His students love seeing what new wacky garment he’ll be wearing that day. 

More Head Cannons

If someone brings food for the staff room Tommy WILL take it. Sometimes he’ll come back for seconds, there will be none left by the end of the day. He’s not as bad as Skeppy though, who will literally pack it up to take home for later.

For the past few months the staff members have been receiving anonymous email chains with photoshopped pictures of each other. Everyone was sure Fundy was behind it, Eret thought he saw him teaching his students how to use the program by editing their favorite teachers into stupid situations (they’ve all been school appropriate of course). Fundy did in fact start it, but now so many other teachers have joined in that it can’t be traced back to one person anymore.

All the teachers love going to sporting events. They’ll join in with the student section to cheer on the teams. If they know there’s a kid who doesn’t have family that will come to watch them they’ll make shirts with that players number to show support for them.

Wilbur, Niki, and Tubbo work together on musicals. Niki does the sets and costuming, Wilbur directs, and Tubbo leads the pit. There are plenty of long nights during tech week that devolve into chaos (especially when Niki isn’t there)

Spirit week is very intense, to say the least. The teachers are assigned a grade to be advisors to, and they get into it. For the duration of the week they practically become rivals with whoever isn’t in their assigned grade. They’ll pull pranks on each other constantly, especially when the students can see. It’s all playful of course, but it gets the kids more excited about spirit week when they can support their teachers and watch the amicable rivalries carry out.

Technoblade once joked that he knew every detail about every classic novel. His students took this as a challenge, and tried to find the most obscure and specific trivia questions they could ask him. He has yet to be stumped.

Dream and Sapnap had a running streak of about four weeks where they made everything into a competition. Who could enter their grades into the computer fastest? How many cups of coffee did they drink that day? Who got to school first that morning? There was a tally board in the staff room and the teachers had a betting pool going. Phil finally ended it when they accidently broke the school’s copier trying to see who could scan the most documents in five minutes. Dream was ahead by three points, Sapnap never lived it down.

In service days are incredibly boring, so the staff tries to make those days a bit more entertaining. They order in pizza or sandwiches for lunch. Since there aren’t any kids in the school they’ll do everything they’re no supposed to, like racing office chairs down the hallways and blasting non-school-appropriate music in their classrooms.

Wilbur accidentally started a black market of sorts when he took all the new whiteboard pens from the supply closest. He used this to his advantage, getting people to do him favors in return for the good supplies. When Dream found out he not-so-jokingly threatened to slowly steal everything from Wilbur’s classroom until he released the pens. The next day the closet was replenished once more

Quackity and Tommy are co-emcees for the school assemblies. They hold class competitions between the grades, including spirit chants and ridiculous games. Think minute to win it style, but way crazier. Everyone gets super into it, the upperclassmen usually win. The two have good chemistry and a fun energy.

George has a unit where students make bottle rockets and launch them outside on the soccer field. And every year Karl brings his class out to watch claiming that “it’s science, I teach science, I’ll have them write a paragraph about what they learned”. Really he just wants to watch rockets go brrr

For Schlatt’s birthday one year, Wilbur and Techno printed off shirts with his face on it for all the staff to wear. Schlatt was super confused when he came into work and all his colleagues were walking around with his face plastered across their chest. He got back at Wilbur for it by putting salt in his coffee for a week straight, but Techno never got his comeuppance. It’s debatable whether Schlatt just didn’t know he was in on it, or if he knew better than to mess with Techno.

Lesson planning and curriculum building is quite the process. Some departments can stay on task better than others. Schlatt and Skeppy get in, plan out the term, and get out. The math department has everything on lock. Social studies are also pretty good at getting pre-planning done. They tend to spend most of their time having discussions that aren’t necessarily related to the tasks at hand though. The English department is a mess. It’s really Tommy who’s a mess, he just projects that onto everyone else. Karl and George work well together to map out science curriculum. Even though teachers who teach electives aren’t required to collaborate with each other, they still get together and bounce ideas off each other and get feedback.

I have plenty more if people want a second part. I also only listed the MCYTs that I’ve watched enough to know their personalities at least a little bit, but if you wanted to see another person I may expand the staff list!

[fabricated-misslieness]

Sero x fortune teller!gender neutral reader

Not gonna lie, that quirk was hella difficult to describe.

Requested: No.

Word Count: 932

Pro Hero AU where all the UA students are already pro heroes.

Quirk: Fortune teller: the quirk’s user can predict the most possible scenarios that will happen up until a month into the future of a certain person that they touch. What the user sees is vague, they cannot see what specific people are in the scenario, apart from the person who’s future they are seeing and any object the person is holding. They can see what’s around them clearly. However, they can see silhouettes and can hear who’s talking if somebody’s even talking.  The user cannot predict their own future.

(y/n) and Sero worked at the same hero agency, but (y/n) wasn’t a pro hero, rather, they were a strategist. Well, technically they were a pro hero because they went through the hero license exams and all but it was just so that they could use their quirk in the hero office, because it was still a public setting.

Their job consisted of telling the heroes what to do during patrol or anything else that required the Hero. However, their quirk didn’t let them specifically look at a part of the future that they wanted to look at and the future isn’t set in stone so what they see is the most probable scenario.

Usually they wouldn’t tell their co-workers what happened in their future that wasn’t work related, unless they wanted to. They were a responsible person because this isn’t silly business. Saving people for a living is a matter to be taken seriously. But if the work for the day was light and patrol was foreseen as uneventful then they might tell their co-workers something interesting about the day, like, “There’s a high chance a bird is going to poop on you.” Sometimes they would lie just to see their co-worker on edge.

The thing is, their co-workers wouldn’t be able to tell if it was a joke, a lie, or the truth and it’s what (y/n) found the most amusing.

(y/n) and Sero were best friends, seeing as they were around the same age range and the ones who crack the most jokes inside the agency. They also happened to live in the same apartment building and, because of this, Sero would hop on by sometimes and ask them to predict their future just like a fortune teller. That meant no work-related future.

(y/n) slowly started to fall in love with Sero because one or them would come to the other’s house for the whole day if they didn’t have work nearly every day. If they did have work, the one that finished their morning routine first would visit the other and wait for them so they could walk to work together. Besides that, Sero was a very adorable and affectionate person. How could they not fall in love with the faux spider-man?

Sero also fell in love with (y/n). In his opinion, (y/n) was such a pretty person. They were so smart and had a great sense of humor. They could lighten up a tense situation with one joke!

It was a free day and Sero came to (y/n)’s apartment to get their fortune told and have a movie marathon.

“Let’s see…” They both sat on (y/n)’s couch, (y/n) was looking into the future and Sero was browsing through movies.

“Well, first off, you’re getting free pizza coupons from a stranger that doesn’t want them.”

“Fuck yeah!”

“You’re going to find the only pokemon card that was missing from your collection of favorite pokemon on the floor outside the convenience store.”

“Wait, Pikachu?!”

“You’re going to a concert.”

“Cool.”

“Oh, somebody will invite you to their home,” Sero nodded along.

“Oh, that person’s your crush” Sero tried not to look directly at (y/n) when he said the word crush even if he couldn’t look at him while he was seeing the future. Looking at your crush when someone mentions the word crush gives away you have a crush on that person, according to childish rules. 

“..you will confess your love to them, and they will accept!” Sero flushed a bright red and (y/n) felt slightly jealous.

Who were they kidding, they felt really jealous! Whoever was Sero’s crush was so lucky.

It was times like these where (y/n) wished he could tell their own fortune. They also really wished that Sero would have used his crush’s name when he confessed. 

“That seems to be the only major things I can see right now.” (y/n) said, trying not to sound bitter, he also didn’t feel like telling more of the future after that part about the crush. But in truth, that was the last thing he saw in that month.

Sero really wanted to tell (y/n) he liked him right then and there but he wanted to do what (y/n) said, which was wait for them to invite him over.

The fortune teller frowned, they didn’t even consider the fact that Sero might be crushing on them.

Sero fist bumped the air when (y/n) texted him asking him if he wanted to come over. (y/n) wasn’t trying to manipulate the future so that Sero would confess to them, no, it was fate that made it happen.

“Now’s the time.” Sero muttered, he had a small, excited blush on his face.

“Hey, Sero, com--”

“I like you!” Sero blushed bright red when those words finally came out and so did (y/n), with an astounding tomato red. “I-I like you too.”

The faux Spider-Man squealed like a fangirl and yeeted himself into (y/n)’s arms, making the latter stumble back and laugh. “Damn, I didn’t think I was your crush.” (y/n) muttered to themself.

“Why not? You’re amazing!”

The new couple walked over to the couch where (y/n) had already set up the movie snacks. Sero cuddled up to (y/n) when both of them sat down, leaning his head onto (y/n)’s shoulder. “Hey, Sero?”

Said pro hero looked up at (y/n) with the cutest face. “Hmm?” He hummed.

“Want to go to a concert for our first date? Your favorite band’s playing.” Sero hummed a yes and then shot up when he realized something.

“You also told me I was going to a concert this month!” He said giddily.

(y/n) laughed, putting on a movie. “Well I didn’t know that I was the one who was taking you to the concert.”

Sero cuddled back up to (y/n), lacing their fingers together. “I’m looking forward to it.”

So who’s requesting the first date? <3

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep4: How to Go on a Date Without Actually Going on a Date

Ah, summertime! Love is in the air, can’t you feel it?

Well uh...thunderclouds. I guess. It’s ominously pouring rain. It’s as if the show has turned in it’s squeaky swivel chair said to us “look, we’re giving you a date episode...but don’t you be gettin’ any ideas!” and then swiveled right back around to face a blank wall.

I’m sure that they will put in some sort of cute backdrop...eventually.

While mopping the gross purple floor and talking about Joey’s nuts soap opera family.

Y’all did they get reference for this shot? I sure hope so. I sure hope that in some animation studio in Japan, two dudes fumbled together to assemble this particular formation, and then a third dude was like “Perrrrfect, now can you hold that for five minutes for me so I can draw it out?”

(read more under the cut)

So here and now, suddenly inspired by the very romantic tableau of threatening rain and thunder, Yugi sees an opportunity to fill out that bucket list, as it is the end of the world and all. So, he cracks his knuckles, remembers the advice from his Grandfather, wisely decides to forget that advice, and stumbles through the absolute weirdest way to officially ask out the girl you’ve been unofficially dating since you were like 10:

...

Start over.

So...he goes up to Tea...starts asking her out--but then makes it into a blind date with the ghost in his body? Because he’s...concerned about Pharaoh?

OK kid.

It’s just very Muto in that not only does he ask this girl out in the pouring rain, probably hoping for a lightning cue that thankfully never came, but this date can only be done through the medium of a very sad dead guy.

And even Tea wonders “I talk to Pharaoh kind of a lot, what the hell are you going on about?”

But what do you do, girl? Looks like you got stuck on a date trap with a dead dude! At least he has the better butt!

Now, you might say “Rach, he didn’t use the word “date” so this isn’t a date.” but y’all must’ve had a very different high school experience than I, because, unless forced to go to a socially obligatory dance, High Schoolers generally never say “lets go on a date,” they make sneaky date traps.

This is universal, the classic “I REALLY need your help with something I can easily accomplish myself. Meet me at the mall, although we could do this probably right now at school. Don’t bring Joey.”

So, Yugi either has a lot of trust in Pharaoh, or he’s seeing this as a clever way to avoid the actual dating part of dating Tea.

Dude...he’s on to something here. This is an ascended level of friend-zoning. Here I was thinking Yugi was pretty worthless with that puzzle, and then he just BAM unlocks it’s actual, true potential with the ultimate dating dodge. Like, Tea can’t even be mad. He’s on the date even. But also--*not on the date*--gets to enjoy the fun stupid stuff-- *doesn’t have to do any boring stuff*--Goes on a date--*but can’t call it a relationship if it wasn’t hypothetically with yourself* like this actually a pretty great set up and at first I was like wow, what an idiot, and now I’m like 5 paragraphs later and low key jealous I can’t do this Schrödinger's Date nonsense myself.

Anyway, despite how awkward he made it, Yugi is SUPER excited about this date. It’s ALMOST as if he’s going on it himself--which again, he is not. He’s just fretting in a mirror going all “Pharaoh’s gonna freakin love this. I love setting up my friends! Especially when they share the same body as me! Hahaha don’t think about it!”

But apparently Pharaoh was totally sleeping when Yugi was talking to Tea (and probably is whenever Tea shows up, lets be real) because he has no idea that Yugi has done this.

First off--Yugi’s art on the wall.

Ok, glad we all saw it together.

Second off, I love the motif of “kid is going on a date, so he throws everything he owns onto his bed and throws on the other half his closet to make the most ridiculous joke combo” because here it means Pharaoh has to wear the same weird ass outfit.

Y’all I cannot believe this anime is doing this three-way I just cannot. It’s been like a full season building up to it but it still feels VERY sudden.

And, as you know, I have a superpower that makes me immune to shipping, I dunno...maybe it’s because I grew up with the nuts Harry Potter era of ships (freakin Snape/Lily)? Or maybe that I come from the era of Kingdom Hearts-style romance twists (whooo will he eat ice cream with)? I feel like I can’t throw too many rocks at this ship because I know when my house is glass. Especially since I enjoy shows that are bonkers, I’ve seen some weird ass dating stuff that didn’t make me bat an eyelash. I watched Season 2 of Seaquest where at least 2 people accidentally ask out their own Mother. I would double check, but it was so awful Netflix pulled it (or trust me I’d be recapping that show, too)

Personally, I have never wanted to date a ghost but I guarantee other people have thought about it. And, youknow, if it’ll make the 2002-era tweens that were super excited about this ship happy, lets get these kids on a date and get this over with. With the Pharaoh that died at hell knows what age, was reborn so hypothetically you could also argue he’s only like a couple years old, and was mind wiping up until basically a couple weeks ago. Whatever, it’s a new season, he’s a new boy, just, don’t think about it, sit back and enjoy it for what it -- HOLY CRAP

What fake-goth funeral date are you going to here!? Wow. This is...This is a bad choice of clothes! It’s the middle of the day! Other people are in shorts. He is wearing so many chains from his neck, to his bracelets...also he still has that massive bike lock chain on - the one that went through a FIRE.

And does his shoes have freakin studs?

At least neck belt is still here.

I’d say he doubles as a stage tech but with those 7 bangles he’s got on, he would make too much noise. He’d sound like a freakin wind chime.

Anyways, Yugi switches places and Pharaoh freaks the Hell out like he’s been pranked. I wish it were a prank, y’all, I wish it were. But this is actually happening on this television show where the only other legit romance we saw was Pegasus macking a ghost.

MAN ghosts gets a lot of action in this show.

Now, this anime gets a lot of flack, but it does do one thing, and that’s make me appreciate something I forget a lot of the time when I see character designs in pictures rather than in motion. And it’s that that character design’s aesthetic includes physics. Sometimes--like very often in Yugioh--the aesthetic is mostly about those physics and what all these separate pieces do when they move.

In Yugioh, the designs are a hot mess. I can’t say they aren’t. But, there is a reason why he has all those moving bangles--it’s because he holds cards a lot and that’s where is camera is. I guarantee, when jacket comes back it’ll be flowing in the wind 100% of the time. Every single one of Yugi’s weird bangs can sway around like a weather vane.

So, while this looks not great from the get go, by the time you’ve watched Yugioh for a while, it all comes back together somehow. That’s the thing--that’s what Yugioh proves, it’s that no matter how freakin weird and abstract your design is, if it has the right physics, you’ll have a good time, and that’s an aesthetic all in itself that can’t be described in photo caps.

BUT

but

but, it’s still hella fun to roast Yugi for it because like--look what he’s wearing.

First stop on their date: a diner of lies that gave us no anime food. Just some nondescript milkshake. Every time we see a diner and I don’t get to see anime food my heart shrivels a little smaller like the Grinch.

Yo I assumed the neck belt was attached to the belt-shirt before--but I guess not. Oh man was belt shirt a turtleneck the whole time??? A belt TURTLENECK?

Tea decides to pull out her idea. The idea that Yugi asked her to give Pharaoh--that she could have just...given...straight to Yugi...but here it is. Here’s the big Tea idea.

Tea suggests “Listen, you don’t know who you’re going to be, but that’s true of everyone” which kind of ignores destiny and prophecies and the end of the world, but she’s gonna be a dancer, OK? And because Pharaoh hasn’t seen very much of the world, and is as impressionable as a newborn lamb, he just soaks it right up.

And so they decide not to go to the Museum because Pharaoh’s not feeling it. Probably also has a sixth sense that the museum is currently staffed by the most boring Millennium Item.

FYI this is exactly what my local Dave & Busters looks like floor to ceiling. It’s a real disappointment. It has only 1 DDR machine and one off brand DDR machine, unlike this place.

Yugioh has more diversity than most Anime I’ve seen, but it’s still a work in progress. Also, it’s hard to spot but keep an eye out for this guy’s fringe moccasins.

...Someone brought their briefcase to the arcade? Wh...why?

This whole episode is a whole lot of why.

WHAT?

Everyone just kinda watched this go down?

Again, I’ve never actually played DDR at an arcade because it’s always taken by two sweaty high schoolers who are sweating like ALL OVER the handlebars, and I’m just like...I could ask them to move or...I could not touch their sweat? So, long story short, if DDR involves elbowing each other in the face, this is news to me, and I have been missing out.

Long story short, she wins. We actually get to see Tea use her one and only useful skill--dance fighting. We’ll probably never see it again. Glad they gave us a very long narcissistic Tea dancing montage while they were there. Wish it was done to ska, but you can’t have everything.

And right when this settles into a romantic sunset I start to worry because we’re getting VERY close to a non-vague situation. The show senses this too and just, out of no where, pulls any distraction to get them away from said sunset.

Y’all how do you even manage to draw a spike mullet with dreads?

And here we all thought we’d get through this episode without cards!

JK, you were absolutely right for thinking that.

In her defense, he did try to elbow jab her in the head.

Anyways, after seeing Tea tear through Johnny Steps, Pharaoh feels like maybe he can handle whatever crazy thing happened to him 5000 years ago. He decides “Lets go recklessly open that Pandora’s box!”

I just noticed his second belt has a fanny pack on the butt for his cards.

Well, that was...still vague somehow. Good. Got me worried there for a second.

Next week, on Yugioh:

Bets on how long it takes for the show to never mention this date again and immediately forget these two were an item, I’m betting at the very beginning of the next episode? Are we going to get the same exposition but for the second time--will I even have anything to recap? In the dark is Yugi just a pair of swinging arms?

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 13: Roxy is Visiting!!!!

Also on ao3 and part of @wipweek for my favorite wip!

“How’s my favorite little brother doing?” Roxy put you into what was basically a wrestling move with how aggressive it was, but you were pretty sure it was meant to be a hug, so you tried to hug her back.

“Good.” You managed to squeak out. You really couldn't breathe that well with Roxy squeezing you like that.

After a few more seconds of Roxy hugging you, she finally stopped, and, therefore, you could finally breathe.

“How have you been doing?” You asked. “Hack into anything you shouldn’t have yet?”

“I’ve been doing great! And I’ve only hacked into something I shouldn’t have a few times.”

“Define a few times.”

“Like, at least a hundred.” Roxy frowned. “But that doesn’t matter because I’m here, and we’re going to have some fun. Where’s Rose?”

“I think she’s on a date right now.”

“What! Rose has a date? Who is she?” Roxy asked. “How many dates have they been on? Have they kissed yet? Are they in love? When am I going to be invited to the wedding? Dave, you need to tell me everything.”

“Woah there, Roxy. You might want to chill it a bit with the questions. I can’t keep track of them all. And you might want to ask Rose those questions once she comes back from her date. She should know that you’re here anyway.” You looked at Roxy somewhat suspiciously. “You did remember to tell Rose you were coming here, right? You didn’t just tell me and trust that I would tell Rose?”

“Well, uh, I may have… forgotten.” Roxy looked sheepish for a moment before bouncing back. “But, it’s whatev’s because I’m here now, and I’m staying with you, so it’s not like room and board is an issue or anything.”

“Rose is going to be so mad about not being able to get a gift for you when you arrived.”

“She doesn’t have to get me a gift every single time I visit. I’m her sister! And I try to make a habit of visiting as often as my job will allow.”

“How is your job going by the way? I trust it’s going as smooth as chocolate fondue that’s going to be spread on some cake or some shit?”

“My job is going super! But, now I’m hungry. We should go out to eat and catch up and stuff.” Roxy suggested. “Then I can tell you all about the shit I’ve been building. Oh, yeah, and I can tell you about my new coworker who's absolutely shredded. Like, woah. I don’t know what he did previously for a living, but he is completely jacked, bro.”

“Like, he can probably bench press you jacked or he can probably bench press a car jacked?”

“I’m pretty sure he could bench press a building if it was detached from the ground,” Roxy answered.

“Oh shit. That’s pretty fucking jacked. Do you think he could pick up a skyscraper? Or the moon? Imagine picking up the moon. That would be absolutely insane.”

“Dave, my brother.” Roxy put a hand on your shoulder and put her other hand into a loose fist. “I will make that happen. I will make it so my coworker can lift the moon. I will break the laws of physics to do it.”

“I have no doubt you’ll be able to do it. Haven’t you already figured out how to basically bend space-time to go faster than the speed of light?”

“Something like that. It’s still a prototype though, so it’s not actually safe to use quite yet. But, when it is functional and safe, you’ll be the first to know!”

“Will I be able to go to Mars in it?”

“Probably not. But, you could if you got the training of an astronaut, but I really wouldn’t recommend going through with that unless you really, really want to go to space because it’s super hard to become an astronaut.”

“Yeah, I’ll just keep making GrubTube videos.” You said. “Also, we should probably actually get going if we want to get to dinner unless you want to stay in here and make instant ramen.”

“Please eat actual food, Dave.”

“I’m just joking with you.” You laughed somewhat. “I actually do make enough money from GrubTube to afford things that aren’t instant ramen. I actually have a few vegetables in my fridge.”

“Do you eat those vegetables?”

“Do you?”

Roxy squinted at you suspiciously before laughing.

“Of course I do, you doofus! My wife makes me.”

“Because you’re clearly not responsible enough to eat them yourself. Didn’t Callie try to become a ‘meatatarian’ at some point, though?”

“Yeah…” Roxy scratched the back of her head. “But that’s probably why she’s so adamant about people eating their vegetables nowadays. She knows why they’re important.”

“Nothing like scurvy to remind someone that eating their vegetables is important.” You then pointed towards the door. “Also, speaking of vegetables, we’ve just kind of stood here talking without actually making any sort of progress in terms of moving out the door to get food in our bodies, so we should maybe, probably ollie outie out of here.”

“Oh, yeah, right.”

The two of you manage to leave and go to a noodle place nearby. Because, clearly, that’s the best place to go to right after discussing how important vegetables are to one’s diet. Then again, the noodle place did have a shit ton of vegetarian options, so you were probably fine in the vegetable department.

“Wait, isn’t vitamin C the thing that causes you to have scurvy? Not vegetables?” Roxy questioned.

“Shit. I think you might be right. Call Callie right away. She needs to know so that she can cut down on as many vegetables as she wants.”

“She does need to eat vegetables though.” Roxy insisted. “I lied when she said she’s very adamant about people eating their veggies. She still politely complains every time I put some greens on her plate. Callie always eats them though, the sweetie.”

“How do you politely complain about something?”

“You eat everything except the vegetables on your plate, and then you grimace slightly before eating your vegetables.”

“I don’t think that counts as actually complaining.” You waved your arm around. “I think you might actually have to, I don’t know, say or, like, sign something in order for it to be considered actual complaining. Which reminds me, did Calliope ever manage to get a sign language class?”

“Oh, yeah! She did! You should have seen her face when she got to teach sign language. She was so happy. She babbled on for ages about how excited she was to see how happy other kids would be to finally be able to talk to other kids normally through their preferred form of communication.” Roxy had a dopey smile on her face. “She was so cute.”

“That’s awesome! I’m glad she was finally able to accomplish that. She’s been wanting to start up that class for years now, right?”

“Yeah. It took her a long time to do because the school board thought that there wouldn't be enough interest from the students, so she had to do this huge petition of students who said they would want to learn sign language from her.”

“Really? The school board really thought that no one would be interested in learning sign language?”

“I know, right?” Roxy said. “It's just, obsolute, I mean actulute, fuck, absolutely, absolutely absurd.”

“I can't see why you WOULDN'T want to learn sign language. It's like a secret language except it's not really a secret language. You can communicate with other people without sound! How awesome is that? I think that's super awesome and kick-ass, and I could honestly write, like, a fucking book on how awesome it is.”

“Going to follow in Rosey’s footsteps? Going to write the next great novel that's going to be read for generations to come?”

“Nah. That's not really my thing.” You shrugged. “That being said, I do actually have dreams and aspirations that are completely unrelated to my GrubTube channel, and, hence, my source of cash.”

“I hope you achieve your dreams at some point in the future. You mind me asking about them?”

“I mean, sure it's not like they're some kind of deeply kept secret or anything. I want to be a museum curator someday. No idea exactly how to go about doing that, but I've got some sort of vague idea how it's gonna go down.”

“Well, I spose you’re gonna need some dank ass artifacts.”

“Hella dank artifacts.” You agreed. “Just, like, an entire section on bones, and another on weird ass pottery, and yet another on how gay some dudes were. Maybe I can convince other museums to give me their weird shit. You know, all the stuff they keep in the back because it’d be too embarrassing to explain. Well, fuck that shit, I’m gonna be showing tatas left and right, and look at that! There’s a dick corner all the way over there, and a vagina area right next to it. In addition, here’s a couple of statues fucking because no one else wants to showcase them to the public because it’s too ‘obscene.’”

“Hell yeah. Stick it to those old farts who refuse to show off the old farts.” Roxy laughed, and you laughed with her.

“We’re going to have the oldest farts in the business! Everybody will get to see the old farts.”

“How’re you even going to get ancient farts? Are you going to find them in the depths of the Earth and then quickly find a jar to put the smell in the moment you get a whiff of those disgusting old farts?”

“Truly the best way to capture a fart is a mystery to most,” You decided to put on your best stereotypically pretentious voice. “But I have no doubt my team of explorers will find a way to do it.”

“Who does your team consist of? Who are these archaeologists that don't get nearly enough recognition by society?” Roxy responded in the most reporter-esque style she could muster.

“Well, first and foremost, I have my most kick-ass leader of this group, the one and only Aradia Megido, and she is, of course, accompanied by famous book writer, Rose Lalonde, who archives the findings.”

“Speaking of Rosey, should we have brought her to dinner with us?”

“I mean, we’re already basically done at this point so it's not like we could invite her. We can get her to come with us next time we go out.”

“We should also probably tell her that you're actually here. How do you want to go about doing that? Are. You gonna tell her over pesterchum or text message or something, or are you just gonna show up to her place and be like 'what’s up, I'm here.’”

“Uh,” Roxy thought for a moment. “I'm just gonna message her. So that I don't have to deal with questioning face to face.”

“That does seem to be the most logical course of action. You might want to do that asap, though. I would tell you to have done that before you even began coming over here, but you can’t exactly go back in time to do that. And, even if you could, you already would have done it because you would have gone back in time to tell yourself to message Rose. And, there’s also the issue with, like, paradoxes and alternate timelines, so there’s def the full possibility that you could have done that, but then when you come back to your timeline, the timeline where you told yourself to message Rose could be a different timeline from the one you’re in, so it wouldn’t have been worth it to even go back in time in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah, no time paradoxes here. None whatsoever. I’m just gonna travel into the future at one second per second like everybody else. Though, tbh, I wouldn’t really want time travel as a superpower. Seems too complicated. I’d much rather, like, appearify stuff from thin air, you know?”

“Oh, hell yeah that would be sick as shit. Personally, I would much rather do some timey shit. Like, yeah, it would be, like, super complicated, but whatever. I guess I would just have to take that risk. Figure out all those alt timelines or whatever. And you do your voidy shit.”

“We’d make a hella team.”

“We’d make an absolutely bitchin team, Rox. I could just do timey shit, and you could do your voidy shit. Honestly, I don’t really know how well that would go, but, like, theoretically, you could go into the void or some shit where my powers don’t reach, which would allow shit I don’t want to do timey stuff on to stay stationary in terms of time while everything else gets a time makeover.”

“Speaking of time, I think it’s time for us to go,” Roxy said, pointing a thumb towards the exit of the restaurant. “We’ve kinda been chatting for too long, and I think the people working here are getting annoyed by the fact that we’re taken up a table.”

“Oh, shit, you’re right. We should probably leave. Can’t be stealing and hogging this table all to ourselves. There are people who need to be fed, and we’ve already been fed.”

You both left the restaurant found yourselves right back at your place. You feel like you two could have gone somewhere else, but nope. You and Roxy plopped down on the couch in your room.

“You know, Davey, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen your GrubTube channel. Care to show me a few of your vids?”

“Are you just procrastinating telling Rose that you arrived in town?”

“Maaaybe.”

“Goddamn it, Roxy. Just pester her already.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll allow myself to be vulnerable to her wrath. She will be the reason for my untimely doom. It will be an eternity before she forgives me for my slight against her. Me! A lowly peasant in her kingdom of prose, unable to escape the confines of vice. Even though I kinda did. I’ve been sober for five years, and I’m, like, hella proud of myself for that, but we’re working within the box of the metaphor, and I’m tryin to be as dramatic as possible.”

"Lamenting about your supposed doom won't do anything to stop it from coming," You mention. "Also, I'm hella proud of you too for being sober for five years. That's a huge fucking achievement, and you deserve recognition for that. You should get, like, a fucking medal or some shit."

"I know, right? Five fucking years! I should at least get a certificate."

"Maybe I could forge one. Just be like, 'This certificate is proof that Roxy Lalonde has been sober for five fucking years.' That's exactly what it will say, curse words and all because I don't know how to make a sentence without adding a curse word in the middle of it. This is exactly why I should never have kids. Can you even imagine? Little five-year-olds going off into kindergarten and getting in a shit ton of trouble because they said 'Fuck you' to little Suzy. But it'll be for a good reason, like little Suzy was pulling on some other kid's pigtails, and my kid jumped in like a fucking hero, but they're gonna be swearing up a storm while they do it." You push up your shades because they started falling off your face with the amount of moving around and gesturing you just did in that long hypothetical situation. "Anyway, you should message Rose. I'll even cheer you on as you do it."

"Ugh! Fine!" Roxy got out her phone and started typing up a storm. You're pretty sure you've never met anyone who can type or text faster than Roxy. It was actually pretty fucking impressive. It also probably had something to do with the fact that she was a programmer and hacker.

"How's Rose taking it?" You ask, wondering exactly how long it will take for Roxy to properly deal with the damage that came with informing Rose that she's in town only after actually arriving in town.

"About as well as expected. This might take a while." Roxy winced as if Rose was yelling at her in person. "A long while."

"I'll find someone to talk to then." You went over to your computer and spun a mental wheel as to who you should talk to.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: bro TG: were you informed of the fact that the one the only roxy lalonde is in town TG: she has decided to grace us with her presence TG: and we should be eternally grateful TG: also did you know that shes been sober for five years TG: fucking TG: five whole years TG: thats amazing TG: john TG: john TG: i know your online it hasnt given me that goddamn popup yet TG: john TG: johnathan TG: johnny TG: john TG: johnathan edison egbert TG: jk i know you have more than one middle name TG: edisons the only one i remember tho TG: john TG: john TG: who are you talking to right now TG: you could just tell me who youre talking too TG: or did you like TG: leave the computer and forget to say you were offline TG: that would be a dumb as shit thing to do TG: especially since the new update literally does it for you if youre gone for long enough TG: which means you couldnt have been gone for long TG: john

EB: and my full name is john edison sam sebastian october egbert. EB: just so you know!

TG: what really TG: one of your middle names is october

EB: no, i was pulling your leg on that one. EB: it's actually ian.

TG: so john edison sam sebastian ian egbert TG: thats a mouthful TG: and the initials spell out another name

EB: i could go by jessie in secret. EB: and it will just my full name's initials. EB: and it technically wouldn't be a lie if i said it was my name.

TG: in what possible context would you use a fake name and need to sound convincing enough to say it was your real name

EB: you never know what kind of situations you could be in! EB: also it makes for a great joke in my comedy sketches.

TG: what are you just going around making a joke about how your name spells another name

EB: pretty much!

TG: well shit TG: also when is your new special gonna come out on netflix TG: i been watching out for it but im still just human TG: subject to the desires of the shows netflix decides to have

EB: i think it should come out in about a month or two. EB: although it's probably closer to two if netflix isn't showing the release date for it.

TG: damnit TG: and here i was looking forward to sitting on a couch with roxy and laughing at your jokes

EB: oh! EB: is roxy in town?

TG: yeah pretty sure i mentioned that at the start of this convo

EB: i don't exactly always read your walls of text, dave.

TG: wow john im so hurt TG: not really TG: its understandable TG: anyway rox is telling rose that shes actually in town TG: which she neglected to do beforehand

EB: oh no!

TG: oh yes TG: apparently rose is pissed TG: probably because she wasnt able to go all out in welcoming roxy to town TG: but then again thats kinda what roxy wants to avoid TG: shes pretty lowkey you know

EB: yeah. EB: that sounds more like something they need to talk about though!

TG: fuck yeah they do TG: theyve got different boundaries TG: rox prefers smaller gestures TG: and rose likes to be loud and proud about shit TG: both are fine but they tend to clash because of it

EB: yeah :/ EB: should we intervene somehow? EB: make sure they've got plenty of time to talk it out? EB: maybe over tea or whatever. EB: i know rose has been dying to do some sort of tea party.

TG: fuck yeah TG: that sounds like a great idea TG: actually i should encourage rose to put into action the tea party TG: knowing her shes been lamenting about it for fucking ever TG: and isnt actually going to do it until shes pushed to TG: even though she really wants to

EB: she's gotten better at that sort of thing though! EB: like that girl she's dating! EB: what was her name?

TG: oh yeah kanaya TG: shes chill

EB: yeah! EB: rose managed to ask her out, right?

TG: yep pretty sure it was rose who did the asking out

EB: that means she's probably getting better at getting what she wants to get. EB: so that means she's that much closer to throwing a fancy party where we all have to wear suits.

TG: that might be the reason why she was so adamant about me getting a suit TG: cant be going to a fancy as fuck party in a tshirt and skinny jeans like some kind of jackass

EB: isn't that your entire aesthetic?

TG: no TG: maybe TG: just a little bit TG: but i gotta be a jackass in style john TG: i cant be a jackass at a party in a tshirt and jeans TG: i gotta be the jackass in the obnoxious red suit that you can see from a mile away TG: and also wearing those douchebag shades because thats just part of the strider style

EB: sounds like youve got this entire thing figured out. EB: but we cant forget to actually get roxy and rose to talk to each other!

TG: right of course that is the number one mission TG: unless they're already talking about it TG: roxy seems to be going at her phone keyboard like she has a personal vendetta against it TG: then we can all just have a good time at the party in roses fucking mansion that she doesnt need TG: why does she even have a mansion TG: why is it only twenty minutes away from my modest place TG: why does she keep it meticulously cleaned TG: actually i dont know that last part

EB: i don't think i've actually ever been to rose's place! EB: i've only seen it when picking her up for something.

TG: maybe she has something that is secret in there TG: like the gods of the void

EB: or maybe she just bought a mansion as some sort of passive-aggressive statement.

TG: yeah that sounds like her TG: she probably houses a bunch of homeless people there to spit the government and the rich people in the neighborhood TG: im surprised her lawn isnt a mess to protest the idea that dandelions are weeds

EB: we could always ask her what she does with her mansion!

TG: one of us should make a mental note to ask her about that TG: or at the very least investigate when she inevitably throws a fancy ass party there

EB: do you think she would buy all the people living there fancy suits and dresses

TG: i have no doubt of it

EB: well, this was a great conversation, but i have to go soon! EB: i've got new comedy sketches to write, and i have no idea what i'm doing, so it's going to take a while.

TG: completely understandable TG: have fun writing all that

EB: we should talk again soon! EB: i'll even tell you all about my secret comedy sketches!

TG: holy shit an egbert original TG: hasnt even seen the light of day original TG: it will be my lucky day when that happens

EB: well, see ya, dave!

TG: bye bye john

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

"Hey! Roxy! Have you gotten anywhere in your conversation with Rose?"

"Uh, no, sorry, Dave. Me and Rosey are having a long discussion about boundaries, which we probably should have had, like, a really long time ago. Who were you talking to?"

"John. He needed to leave to work on his comedy sketches though. I might message Jade next if you're still busy."

"Yep. Still hella busy."

"That's all good. Take your time. You are a guest here."

"Thanks, Davey."

"No problemo." You returned back to your computer.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade TG: whats up

GG: the usual GG: weve been getting some progress in building the car ai though! GG: i swear ive talked to so many rubber ducks GG: so many GG: i feel like we need a rubber duck the size of a building GG: everything goes wrong GG: but now less is going wrong so thats good!!!

TG: thats so fucking awesome TG: im afraid i dont know about the rubber ducks though

GG: theyre basically a sounding board GG: you know GG: something goes wrong in the code so you talk to the duck until you realize whats wrong with the code

TG: that makes perfect sense but why a rubber duck

GG: no idea GG: might have something to do with the fact that they are common and fairly easy to manufacture GG: but theoretically one could do it with another person or a stuffed animal or whatever GG: although a person might not be the best for it

TG: why not

GG: some of us have a tendency to throw the rubber duck really hard when we are particularly frustrated by the code GG: or mad that we didnt realize the mistake in the code because it was so goddamn obvious

TG: yeah i guess you would want to avoid throwing people at the wall unless they were a complete and utter douche

GG: oh no you dont throw those people GG: you just punch them GG: its faster GG: i would say shoot them but murder is illegal

TG: also the entire thing with guns

GG: yeah GG: i love guns but at the same time GG: there should definitely be restrictions on them! GG: there is a reason why babies should not duel wield flintlock pistols!!!!!!!!!!

TG: yeah no TG: dont give infants flintlock pistols TG: or any guns for that matter TG: your grandpa was kind of crazy

GG: :/ GG: he was GG: also he doesnt believe in gun control

TG: yikes

GG: pretty much GG: so, what about you? GG: hows your life going?

TG: roxy has come over but shes currently telling rose that shes in town TG: you know TG: after not informing her that she was going to be in town previously

GG: oh no!!!

TG: yeah thats what john said too

GG: no one really wants to face roses wrath GG: shes very scary when shes angry!!! GG: :(

TG: mood TG: yeah nobody wants to be within twenty feet of rose when shes pissed TG: but i think roxy has passed the angry part and has reached the part where they are having a conversation about boundaries

GG: thats good!!! GG: is there anything else thats going on?

TG: no really TG: kind of just been sitting inside and doing grubtube videos TG: the usual TG: you know TG: i feel like i need to do something more exciting for my videos TG: at least to celebrate hitting like a shit ton of subscribers

GG: you could have a guest star or something like that

TG: you mean just like ask one of my friends if theyd like to join a video

GG: yeah!!! GG: you just have to find someone whod be comfortable with it

TG: would you be

GG: no not really GG: im a little paranoid about having my face on the internet GG: my instagram doesnt even show my face at all and i keep it private!!

TG: i see your point TG: its completely understandable TG: i will be sure to ask someone else TG: like roxy or john TG: john or karkat actually would be a good choice TG: like karkat wrote the rant that made my channel super popular TG: it was already popular but the rant made it extra popular TG: so a kind of interview with him would be cool TG: and netflix is apparently gonna release johns new thing soon TG: so it could be kind of a promotion thing for both him and me TG: john would probably be chill with it TG: karkat on the other hand TG: probably not TG: he seems like the kind of guy who would try to hide his face anytime someone took a photo of him

GG: hes actually pretty photogenic!!!

TG: what really

GG: yeah! GG: he might actually accept to be in a grubtube video GG: but depending on the content he might not GG: but like GG: based on his distaste for your channel GG: i would at least wait until the two of you have a better relationship with each other

TG: point taken TG: john it is TG: might as well ask roxy just because shes currently in my house TG: just do an impromptu collab video TG: actually im probably gonna ask her about it right now TG: granted that shes done with her conversation with rose TG: she probably is because ive had two super long conversations with people

GG: good luck with the celebrating your subscriber count!!!

TG: good luck with your ai programs TG: pester you later

GG: bye!!! GG: :)

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

"Hey, Roxy! How's that conversation with Rose going? I'm not, like, expecting you to be completely done or anything, but I am wondering about how far you are into that conversation about boundaries and shit."

"Oh, yeah, we finished that convo ages ago. We started talking about the motifs in the newest book of our fav wizarding series."

"So, everything's good?"

"It's all good."

[bwicblog]

 II: Well, that was a bit disappointing, but it'll all be useful for the fleet I suppose.

II: What is everyone else up to?

ID: a whole lot of nothing.

II: That can be restful!

II: Unless you are bored, haha.

ID: i mean i need plenty of rest, so i'm taking it.

II: Ah, are you recovering from something?

ID: yuppp. got a broken arm and a big ol wound to the shoulder.

II: My goodness. That sounds like quite the fight. Or accident?

ID: definitely fight. all legal, i promise! =:P

II: Pfft, I wasn't going to question you. There are plenty of legal skirmishes on Alternia.

II: In fact I'd say there are probably more legal than not.

ID: it was mostly a joke, dw.

II: Haha

II: Fair

II: ...oh, bother, I swear if one more tall tealblood gets in my way...

II: Why is everyone so _towering_ .

SA: break kneecaps 😃

II: It might be good for some of the neophytes, but greatly frowned upon.

ID: how tall are you?

II: Not terribly short, but short for my caste. 5'5

II: And I swear half these teals look like someone stretched them and pulled them.

ID: i'm 6'1" so. member of the stretch and pull club here.

II: Oh my, you _are_ tall for a rust

II: That must be useful

ID: oh yeah, get to pop over the waves of rust. totes useful.

II: Pfft

II: _Finally._ I thought they'd never stop crowding the doors.

ID: i was scared of blending in, y'know. with all the other horn-floating tattooed maroons. thankfully i have my height to be unique.

II: Ah yes. Your most distinguishing feature, I am sure.

II: You are such a normal troll otherwise. Painfully dull.

ID: i know. shame i haven't taken up a life of crime, you'd never find me in all the other dull faces.

II: Pffft

ID: =;P

II: I have never actually used an emote before

II: But I feel compelled to respond with one

II: 😹

II: ... never mind

II: That looks terrible

II: 🐱 there, much cuter

ID: yeah that. was not a wise choice.

ID: that's better.

II: Haha, it was not, who made that monstrosity I wonder?

II: I thought cat emotes would be cute. That looks awful.

ID: 🐯

ID: ....

ID: 🐅

ID: hey that one isn't too bad.

II: 🦁

II: That one's a bit odd.

SA: 🐍

SA: 🐃 it's your lusus

ID: 🦌

ID: mix those two together, maybe.

II: Haha, it's been a while since I was at circus

II: ...which is a good thing, admittedly.

II: Though some of them do have wonderful menageries.

ID: i was wondering why you were hanging with the teals and all when your caste usually did.

ID: other things.

II: Other less than tasteful activities you mean?

II: Don't worry. I don't endorse a lot of what the church does, even if I am technically part of it. It needs heavy reform in some areas.

ID: i was gonna leave it at other, but p much! =:P

II: Tactful of you, but I certainly don't mind.

II: In the legislacerator business you learn to talk frankly about Imperial bodies. They have their flaws like any other.

II: But that's a dreary topic for most people, so instead I think I'll segue into commenting on this lovely train I'm on.

ID: hahahah, trains are a safer subject for a lil rustie to comment on anyways. =:P

ID: does it have a snack cart.

II: I think if anyone ever called you a "lil rustie" they'd lose a limb, but of course it does.

II: What is a train without a snack cart, I ask you.

II: Incomplete.

ID: you could play along with my weak lil rustie gig, hella rude. =:'(

II: Ha

ID: ...though tbh i was never good at it.

II: Nice try, I've known far too many rusts to fall for that.

II: Idiot neophytes in my class got themselves killed underestimating lowbloods. I learned not to make their mistakes.

ID: well if it makes you feel better i have no plans of culling you, random stranger on the chatroom. =:P

II: Hahahaha

II: I figured not, what would you gain from it?

II: Nothing except a lot of trolls on your tail.

ID: ...i mean...

ID: things.

ID: your wallet.

ID: trolls have killed for less!

II: Pfft, wealth perha - oh, now I'm just hurt, only killing me for my wallet? Not for vengeance or something interesting? You wound me, ID.

II: At least make a penny dreadful out of it.

ID: i mean vengeance for what.

II: Oh I don't know, being purple. Some trolls are that petty.

ID: i mean. for a purpleblood you're like. the least offensive thing i've met.

II: Haha, well, I try to be reasonable. I think rather little of highbloods who believe they can be ill-mannered or wild just because of their blood.

II: They give all of us such a terrible image.

ID: yeah, well. they're pretty encouraged to be awful.

II: Mm, they are, it's deeply unfortunate.

II: I was lucky enough to be raised by trolls who taught me proper behavior young, but in places with less Imperial instruction standards can be _quite_ dismal.

ID: ...raised by trolls?

II: Oh, I had my lusus of course, but I _was_ part of the church's creche when young, before I changed my mind to go into law. So I was always surrounded by proctors of some sort.

ID: oh. huh.

ID: yeah i was raised in the desert.

II: Oh! They can be such fascinating places. What was your upbringing like?

II: Did you live on your own, or in a town?

ID: i had one neighbor pretty much.

II: Ah, isolated then.

ID: preeettttyyy much. we became buddies though. since. lack of options really.

II: Haha, naturally.

II: But you say you were raised there - I presume you left?

ID: oh, yeah. i travel now.

II: Do you? What sort of places do you go?

II: What kind of work do you do?

ID: uh i pretty much just pick a direction and walk.

ID: work is uh. mostly fighting trolls for money?

II: Oh, ring fighting? Or less formal street affairs?

ID: less formal. definitely.

ID: though sometimes ring.

ID: last fight was in a ring.

II: Do you have a preference, or is it simply a matter of convenience which you choose?

ID: ehhh i prefer less formal generally!

II: Smaller crowds and less pressure?

ID: but this time the guy challenged and the fact everyone was telling me i'd just get hurt if i did pissed me off.

II: Pfft, I can see that

ID: less rules. =:P

II: Always irritating to be told - hahaha

II: I suppose I can't argue with that, given my preferred method of combat is shooting my enemies with acid. That's certainly not in any honorable rule book.

II: But it is effective.

ID: whatever works, right?

ID: but yeah. i fucking hate being told i can't do shit.

II: Certainly, given my arsenal of other weapons and technology.

ID: get enough of that in life.

II: Certainly it seems silly to try and dissuade you from a fight, particularly if that is how you live.

ID: besides, it ended in a tie so everyone was wrong on who'd win!

II: Hahaha

II: That is amusing

ID: yeah, well. it happens. as long as no one got salty when i refused to listen, idgaf.

II: Well, I figure it's their problem if they do.

ID: p much! unless they got clades that you're friends with and then they get dragged in to it and it can get messy.

II: Hahah oh my, that sounds quite alarming.

ID: like i'm pretty sure there are trolls upset at what i did to the other guy.

ID: but whatever. he challenged me, and he was the one who made dumb mistakes in the fight.

ID: anddd i'll stop venting to a stranger about it now. sorry.

II: I don't mind! It sounds like it was quite the event.

II: I certainly have nothing better to do than stare at my fellow passengers or browse the internet, and most of the trolls around me aren't terribly interesting looking.

ID: it was fucking something alright.

ID: how long do you have to travel?

II: Oh, a few hours. The lecture I was at was firm-mandated, now I'm back on one of my own cases.

II: I mean, I get cases passed to me through the firm too, but it was a mandatory summons for everyone from our firm regardless of case.

ID: i see. an interesting case?

II: Mmm, I've had duller I suppose. It's mostly just cleaning up loose ends from a mutant fighting ring that was already busted, and we're just chasing down the remaining culprits.

II: Nothing terribly exciting, but it's necessary work.

ID: huh. well, good luck with that.

II: It should be fairly simple; we're not dealing with terribly smart trolls here. They got caught because one of their members accidentally left a _window_ open.

II: Laughably careless.

II: It's a wonder one of them had the brains to set it up in the first place.

ID: a brief spark of genius that quickly waned. =:P

II: In fact I think the leader got culled by some backstabbing subordinate, who then started to get complacent and run the organization with a looser hand, allowing us to get the drop on them.

ID: greed can be the downfall of many a troll i suppose.

ID: but hey, makes your job easier when they're culling each other.

II: Sometimes! Sometimes it leaves us with less information to catch the others with, unfortunately, but in this case that's not an issue.

ID: go on out there and keep our streets safe. =:P

ID: ...well. barely maybe safer.

II: _ha_

II: I'd need a whole team of trolls to make things safer

II: I'm very good at my job, but I'm only one person

ID: aww c'mon. just be troll batman.

II: HA

II: That costume would look ridiculous on me.

II: I adore the movies, mind you, despite the terrible example he sets.

II: But I could not get away with wearing that.

ID: ...troll batgirl?

II: Even worse in the costume department. I'd like a word with whoever designed that. Any legislacerator with half a brain wouldn't be caught dead in that. Insanely impractical.

ID: was it ever really designed to be practical though.

II: No, it was designed for lowlifes to drool over, certainly.

II: Which I suppose is its own appeal, but I can't see a costume like that as at all attractive given the career I have.

AM: Hello, hello sweet honies of the night~

ID: ...ii are you a sweet honey of the night.

ID: because i know i'm not.

AM: Sweetie, honey please. Don't be so down on your self! Anyone can be a sweet honey of the night if you play your cards right, doll!

ID: that sounds vaguely creepy as fuck. =:I

II: ...I believe I am more like a tasteful...never mind I forget where I was going with that, but I don't think so?

II: Certainly it's nice to be called sweet, but honey just seems redundant in that context.

II: It isn't as if honey is going to be bitter.

AM: Hmm...hmmm you've got that right then sugar. Listen babes if you want a different title then cough up some names then eh? Cause listen sweethearts we can dance around that all we want but it's MUCH better for everyone if we cut to the chase with these introductions. Now what's the set of letters stamped on those business cards of yours honies?

II: Gracious, aren't you forward.

AM: Time's money babe.

ID: i feel like i need a second bath tonight now.

ID: hadean.

II: ...I suppose I cannot argue with that. I am Indrid.

AM: Hadean and Indrid. Great meeting you two! Names Ashley- but listen. Babe. Listen. A second bath is a no go. Your skin will DESPISE you, even if you're moisturzing then toning and scrubbing thrice a week honey. It's just not good for that dermis of yours.

SA: i'm sorry what's happening here.

AM: Oh an actual honey! S'up honeysuckle what's YOUR name hm?

ID: run pris. run.

II: Flee.

SA: why am I fleeing.

ID: also i thought giving our names would stop the assault of nicknames. =:I

SA: and why do they keep calling you honey.

II: I haven't the faintest idea.

AM: Run, flee? Sweethearts PLEASe you're harming my poor self. I came in here for a good time and- here let's sit and just chat. Really babes, calm yourselves.

ID: names.

II: Haha, I was merely joking along with ID. It's never in good taste to not tag along with one's conversational partner.

AM: Yeah, yeah I got it bud. Chill it's fine. These EYES HERE, reading through some GRADE-A lenses and typing like the wind now for your names, babe- oop. Yes gotit.

AM: _Hadean_

II: What's your name, AM?

ID: there you go, give the barkbeast a bone.

ID: ashley.

AM: Ashley, sweet heart. Take note of it, I'm digging the VIBES in here I wanna swing around more often.

SA: i like the lowblood chat, i've decided.

SA: it's a safe place.

II: Take me with you. I _will_ miss ID's commentary.

ID: i multitask.

ID: like i'll let a purple scare me out of here.

II: Scare? They aren't so alarming, merely...unusually exuberant!

SA: oh it's not scary at all.

SA: I just. Don't understand.

AM: Oh, darlings, please. I'm not scary. Don't be so intimidated really, just everyone take a breath. A sip of Chai. Excuse me for just being so EXCITED babes.

II: Haha, I'm not intimidated. And surely we can forgive you being excited.

ID: i've been called honey and babe more in these few minutes than i've ever been subjected to in my life. =:I

SA: lavender chai?

II: I'm sure AM was merely unusually free with their charmingly tawdry speech out of gushing enthusiasm.

AM: A LAVENDER CHAI EXACTLY, look this, this one. I like you, what's your name babe?

AM: You've got good taste.

SA: ...Prisma.

SA: please do not call me babe.

AM: Prisma, sweetheart. You've got it.

SA: 👌

ID: i don't think he wants the sweetheart part either tho.

SA: it's preferable.

SA: I am still only perdia's honeycomb.

AM: Listen babes. Listen. I'm telling you this as someone that cares and is going to be forward. Noting held back here alright? Don't take the babe and sweetheart as like ahh...How do I say this nice. A ..PROPOSAL yes a proposal.

AM: It's just friendly sweet talk you know, sweethearts?

AM: A bit of sugar coating on the words. Can't leave a bitter taste in anyone's mouth after all. Nono. we can't have that haha

AM: Bad for business, yadayada.

SA: 🙊

AM: But let's not talk business babes.

SA: let's. Not. yes.

AM: Those are just all WONDERFUL handles by the way.

SA: I still don't understand hadean's tag.

SA: I've been meaning to say.

ID: ˙sᴉɥʇ ǝʞᴉl ǝʇᴉɹʍ ʎllɐnsn ᴉ

ID: ˙ʍou ʇ,uop ƃuᴉʞɔnɟ ᴉ os ʇᴉ ʇnoqɐ sǝᴉɹɔ ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʇnq

SA: don't ever do that again.

ID: you're all fucking welcome.

SA: I can read it just fine but.

SA: no

AM:Talented, very nice babe. Incredible. Really. But I have one critique.

SA: thank you.

AM: Don't do that, as Prisma said honey.

II: I look away for a few minutes

ID: ˙ssɐ ɹnoʎ uo sʇoq ʎds ǝɥʇ ƃuᴉʇʇǝƃ ʇnoɥʇᴉʍ sƃuᴉɥʇ ƃuᴉʎɐs ɹoɟ pooƃ s,ʇᴉ uɐǝɯ ᴉ

SA: mine. simply means disdainfully superior. disdainful aide.

SA: can they not read it that way?

AM: Again, honey. Stop that. Really. ITS HORRIBLE.

DD: oh dear i am afraid my eyes are crossing far too much to read that right now!

II: Oh, I don't know, it has its own charm.

SA: Is it actually that hard for you to read?

SA: it's. easy.

ID: nah, they're all machines and junk pris.

DD: well not if i turn my palmhusk upside down!

SA: hm.

SA: i didn't even have to turn it upside down...

DD: which i am doing from now on when that comes up

II: Mine is quite to the point about my job.

DD: then maybe you are very talented sa! ^_^

ID: you get used to it.

ID: if you write like that all the time.

DD: it is difficult for me but i guess i could do it if i focused really hard its just a little bit bothersome at the moment because ive been up for ages and i just had a burger (with cheese like you said id!!!!) and i think i am experiencing what people call a food coma

AM: I dig it. Straight forward. Classy. Clean cut. Uhg. I could just LOSE IT but I won't I'm not the jealous type sweety. It's a good name Indrid. Keep it. Never change.

II: Well, possibly one day if I change positions?

II: I would like to be a colony law enforcement head.

ID: hahah, was it good dd?

DD: and ooh are we talking about quirks??

ID: tags and their meanings mostly.

ID: but my tag had to do with my quirk.

SA: there are. so many officers or officer related people here.

DD: it was super good!!!! i asked for it rare like you guys said and it wasnt as weird as i thought it would be though the lettuce was a lot crunchier than i expected and i really liked the pickles but i like pickled things in general

AM: A promotion? Change it. ASAP. In that Case honey. AM: DD where'd you get it from if I may ask? What was the rating of the place? Lots of people there babe? how about the ingredients were they fresh and non-GMO?

ID: along with the fact that i'm an oppositional jerk.

ID: wtf is a gmo.

ID: and why do i need none of it.

II: GMOs aren't so bad, though some companies are rather...mm, overbearing about their guidelines.

DD: i am afraid i do not know all of that am i was too tired to check very much and i am new to this town so i just went to the closest sandwich shop nearby and it was just a local establishment!

II: Genetically Modified Organism.

DD: also gmos are great!

AM: BAd things sweety. Not good. Bad news. Stay AWAY from the GMO if you want that waistline to stay TRIM.

II: ...

II: anyway

ID: i mean starvation keeps me pretty fucking trim.

DD: i mean i think you really are misunderstanding the nature of genetic modification but um

DD: oh dear

DD: starvation??

ID: from time to time dd, it happens.

DD: !!!!

DD: thats really distressing!

DD: why are you starving??

ID: .....

AM: Hadean. That's effcient. Do you like eating tho honey? I got some amazing things I could send your way from a GREAT subscription box from this ADORABLE startup company if you want any.

ID: because of a lack of food/money for food?

ID: i like not being called honey because it comes off as kinda fucking creepy to have a stranger calling me honey.

DD: yes please take ams food maybe i should send you some and oh dear i thought they meant if you liked honey as in the food i

DD: oh dear

DD: um!!!

DD: are you starving right now???

II: GMOs aren't necessarily unhealthy.

ID: nah i'm not starving right now.

II: They can be, but it's not a given.

AM: Got it babe. noted. Write here. Sticky note ready. You want the snacks or not though? They're TRENDING like MAD.

ID: i'm fine with. non trending.

ID: my lusus always taught me not to take candy from strangers and all that.

II: Your lusus sounds like a good parent.

DD: okay i am very happy to hear that and i know we are not really that familiar with each other but maybe do you think if you are ever starving you would be comfortable with messaging me because i know you were uncomfortable earlier but really in the end maybe being a little bit uncomfortable is better than starving and um

Am: I mean in that case I've got LOADs of garbage from last weeks delivery cause let me tell you, LET ME TELL YOU. They didn't get the memo that KALE not the next super food. So it's just....there uhg. I can't even look at it Hadean. Tragic

AM: You sure ?

SA: oh my god.

ID: wtf is a kale.

AM: Power Green.

II: An uninspiring plant.

AM: Truer words have never been spoken Indrid.

AM: Awful. Just Awful plant.

DD: do they pickle it??

AM: It's Dried Kale chips babe.

II: Well. I'm sure it inspires someone.. But I've never found it to be very tasty. Give me a lovely spinach and lettuce salad any night.

SA: it is usually roasted or sauteed or dehydrated.

DD: pickled seaweed is nice DD: also just plain salted seaweed

DD: oh

DD: i do not think i have ever had a dehydrated food ever

AM: You want these sweetheart? I dont want them in my SIGHT anymore. Uhg. just god. Eyesore

II: Perhaps I could force-feed them to prisoners as a form of interrogation.

DD: i am okay!! i just had a burger for the first time and i think that is enough adventure for now really

DD: also everyone is calling it gross so probably i would not like it

AM: Do whatever you want with them. but here. Listen. Just listen all of you. Let me...give you this charitable donation of these chips.

AM: I get them off my hand you get chips for free everyone wins.

SA: no.

ID: i'm gonna go ahead and pass.

II: Haha

II: In truth so must I, for I'm not even sure I would be there to pick them up.

II: I travel too much.

AM: Sure thing sweet cheeks. Anyone else? I have no qualms on tossing them I really don't but Halvea said I can't toss the box here at the office so I'm just sitting on it now.

II: They'd sit in my hive and my lusus would probably get into them.

II: Or Cyan, which would be terrible.

II: ...you know Halvea?

II: Or rather. Is that a tealblood Halvea?

AM: Honey I more than know her. She's my boss!

II: Oh. Interesting.

II: Are you a legislacerator too then?

AM: Oh god no babe.

AM: I'm the secretary.

II: Ah, I see.

II: I have met one of her neophytes, so I wasn't sure.

ID: =:???? the fuck is halvea.

AM: Her secretary. I'm not up and giving this skill of management to anyone.

AM: By the way.

II: She is a very enthusiastic tealblood legislacerator!

SA: Oh, halvea is.

SA: IJ.

AS: I believe.

SA: ignore that.

II: And yes, she goes by IJ.

ID: oh. that one.

AM: Yes correct again babes!

II: ...though, I do find it interesting she keeps a _purple_ secretary.

ID: i mean probably makes her feel fancy?

AM: Speaking of one second. Just sit tight I got some papers to give her. they came in. I hate them and honestly COULD and SHOULD shred them they're useless but she wants ALL her paper work apparently.

AM: BRB babes

II: Didn't you want to pursue a different career, AM?

SA: we're all booth babes now.

ID: you gotta wear the vent pants pris. =:P

DD: ooooh omg ive always wanted to be a booth babe

DD: just for a little while you know

DD: it seems fun!!

ID: i was a booth babe for a day.

DD: and you get to wear pretty clothes

DD: omg

DD: omg omg

DD: what did you wear??? was it fun??

SA: the day i wear the vent pants is the day i am lowered into my grave.

ID: i wore a hooker outfit and threw knives.

DD: vent pants are fun because they are really silly!

DD: and oh my goodness that is one terrifying professional model look

DD: what were you selling?

DD: did you stab anybody??

II: I'm assuming they did, given the fight.

ID: nah it was a contest on accuracy.

II: Oh, haha

II: Silly me

ID: the fighting came later!

AM: Alright honies I'm back. Uhg. And indrid sweety, listen. I do. I AM. I'm going to be the next rock n roll star just you see I've got some nice TUNES coming up honest.

SA: I almost won.

SA: I would like everyone to know this.

SA: since Hadean seem sto gloss over it was a contest with me in it.

AM: Oh? Deets honey. Deets.

ID: but i was the one who walked away with the giant monkey. =:P

II: Oh, that's a nice career. I do enjoy a nice rock ballad.

ID: ...i wonder what happened to that monkey.

II: ...giant monkey.

SA: yes but I was the one who got to cuddle the giant monkey.

DD: oooo DD: i have always been very impressed by accuracy and fighting in general i am afraid that i am not much of a fighter myself but i suppose it is not relevant to my profession really so it ends up okay

AM: Nevermind it sounds horrid.

SA: did... did you not get it from pheres's booth?

ID: it was a stuffed giant monkey toy.

II: Oh, I see

II: Wait, why did you get that for knife throwing...

ID: ...pris i have a broken arm. there was no way i was hauling it.

SA: because i bribed the owner.

II: Pfft

SA: yo could have told me, I would have gotten it...

SA: 😦

ID: i forgot, sorry.

DD: oh my goodness that all sounds like it was a lot of fun!

DD: and adventurous haha

AM: Damn. Cold honey. Cold. Need a shoulder to cry on or embroidered kerchief there prisma honey?

ID: i was gonna get it but then things got awkward at the stall anyways, sooo.

SA: I will cry on hadean or sipara if i require a cry, thank you.

SA: But I am incapable of crying anyways.

SA: so it does not matter.

SA: thank you.

AM: It's a waste of time anyway!

II: oh dear

AM: I like your style on that.

ID: what do you do when you get an eyelash in your eye. =:P

DD: oh my goodness

SA: I remove it with my fingers.

AM: You get the surgery to stop it or what babe? Let me know give me the numbers.

SA: what do you do>

SA: No.

SA: I was lobotomized.

ID: i curse a whole fucking lot and rub it until it gtfos.

SA: are you happy now.

AM: Ah. Intense.

DD: i cry a lot but its usually hard to tell because i am underwater though i suppose that will not be the case anymore but also not being able to cry sounds awful how do you express your emotions otherwise

II: Oh dear

AM: Sweety, DD. Never got your name by the way honey. You just. You know. Deal with it. Not then. Eventually. It's fine.

II: Are you all right, DD?

DD: i think i am not very good at dealing with it eventually instead of then but that is okay

DD: and what do you mean of course i am! DD: i am not crying now!

II: Well, I meant in general, but that's good to know

AM: You'll get the hang of it I believe in you sweety. Really. You've got potential there. That hue of yours. Comes with some NICE talents.

DD: and oooh that is right i was going to say earlier when we were taking about handles

ID: except for tears of joy over how good the burger was, obvs.

DD: hahaha i did not cry over that but i suppose it was pretty close! DD: it was a very nice burger!!

SA: that is a good thing to cry over.

DD: oh but yes my name is in my handle i am dazzle!!

AM: Hadean, have a sense of proffessionalism. Crying in PUBLIC is tABOO.

SA: your name.

AM: Good to mean you Dazzle. Really just. DAZZLING.

SA: is dazzle.

ID: uh when you're a fish you can do whatever the fuck you want in public.

DD: the daft is not part of my name that is just something my friend jokes about sometimes

DD: omg haha thank you am ❤ ❤

ID: you gonna tell a seadweller to stop crying in a store?

SA: they probably would honestly.

DD: and um yes my name is dazzle technically it is my last name but i think it is charming so i go by it anyways!

DD: my first name is laurel but that is not as fun

II: I think Laurel is lovely.

SA: laurel is preferable.

II: The flowers are very nice.

SA: but it is not my name.

II: But Dazzle is nice too.

AM: Laurel Dazzle. My, my you have just got LOADS of charisma dripping from everypore huh?

AM: I like it. Good name. I'll remember it. taking a REAL note of it babe.

DD: oh um DD: i mean i enjoy dazzle but if you dont like it you can call me laurel i guess i do not really mind that much

ID: daz it is.

DD: and oh my goodness i suppose i have a lot to live up to am!

II: Whatever makes you feel most comfortable!

ID: so we got daz, ind, and ash i guess.

DD: omg haha daz sounds lovely <3 DD: people dont call me that much anymore but when they did it was a friendly nickname so it is nice to hear again

AM: Ashley babe. make note of it back it's polite.

DD: but also i think i did not get your names sa and id!!

Am: Ashley. Honey. I like to keep a professional amount of distance at all times it's more comfortable that way babe.

ID: hadean.

AM: No ash.

DD: hadean!! DD: that is a very lovely name and i am happy to have learned it thank you!!

ID: keep calling me babe and honey and shit, i call you ash in return.

ID: dwi.

SA: "keep a professional distance" calls everyone ash.

SA: I mean.

SA: sweetheart.

SA: I'm. my phone is blowing up.

II: Dearest fellow castemate

AM:Fix that honey. I know the name of a GREAT guy to get that fixed for you. Trust me. Just PM sometime I'll give it to you. Shit we could get coffee sometimes Prisma babe. Anyway we'll talk later. what is it castemate hmm?

DD: is prisma sa??

DD: that is a very colorful name!! DD: prismatic even ❤ ❤

ID: yeah that's pris.

SA: ...

AM: The actual honey of the group HA.

SA: .........

ID: call him it pris.

IJ: Why are you harrassing people on your work hours.

SA: call him what.

ID: hahah, teal boss salvation.

ID: and ash pris. the only way he'll learn is if you annoy him with nicknames back.

SA: Oh no.

SA: I'm mad at DD.

II: Ah, hello Halvea.

SA: not Ashley.

II: Oh dear.

ID: oh.

ID: the name pun?

SA: it disgusts me.

II: Ah, I can see why it would.

ID: good ol' hadean. haven't had a pun yet.

AM: OOP

IJ: Hello again In>ri>. I am sorry if my accountant has been bothering any of you, he is quite a blabber mouth in an> out of person.

SA: bean.

DD: oh no wait what why are you made at me what did i do i am sorry

SA: we can call you. bean.

AM: ACCOUNTANT?

SA: sweetbean.

ID: bean isn't part of my name.

AM: Listen, honey. Halvea. PLEASE use a better title that's so STIFF.

DD: oh the name pun um!!!

SA: AND MATIC ISN'T PART OF MINE EITHER

SA: AND YET.

DD: i am very sorry i was trying to be friendly and i didnt mean to be offensive

IJ: When you stop calling me 'honey', how about that.

ID: there you go pris, he apologized.

SA: mmm

SA: thank you.

DD: i just meant you know prismatic is another word for colorful so mayb it would be nice to call you that but in retrospect it was tasteless so i will not do it again

II: ...it might be best if you stopped while you're ahead, Dazzle.

II: It is good to have apologized but usually less than preferable to ah, draw out the topic.

ID: so, uh. deep breaths pris.

II: I know you meant no harm, so let's leave it at that.

DD: oh um okay!! DD: i will shut up

ID: i will say it once more in this chat, i'm sorry should not be followed up with an explanation.

II: I concur with Hadean.

AM: Babe, Halvea. Come ON. Don't DO this right now please. I'm telling you look. Here I'll put the phone down huh? AM: Prisma, Indrid, Hadean, you sweethearts were digging my compan right? Dazzle sweety?

II: It certainly provided something new to the chat.

DD: oh i mean i was just DD: i mean i wanted to explain in case he thought i meant it maliciously not like DD: i mean DD: i DD: i am going to go back to shutting up now!!!

II: Oh, ah -

AM: Oh wow hm. Look at that.

AM: WELL-

IJ: I wasn't saying that you can't talk to others while working. I was explicitly talking about harrassing. Especially some of my fellow co-workers.

AM: Listen, sweethearts lets not drag on the illfeelings-- AM: Co-workers?

AM: Also I'm NOT harassing.

ID: i felt pretty harrassed at the amount of nicknames being spewn out around here.

AM: Hadean.

AM: Hadean you're not helping there bud.

IJ: In>ri> is one of my co-workers, yes.

AM: I offered you KALE Chips pal.

ID: which are apparently a shit food.

AM: OH-- ARE THEY? wow HAH. Oooh. Alright well. Here. I'll get them a coffee later when I get yours how about that? There bygones be bygones, honey.

AM: It's only shit because that fad FADED.

IJ: Kale isn't so ba>. It's also frie> Kale.

ID: man even in hot water you call the boss honey.

ID: i don't know whether to admire your gall or... pity your stupidity...

AM: LISTEN. HADEAN. PAL.

AM: I gladly invite you to SHUT.

SA: they were so sauve a moment ago.

ID: mmm, invite me to what?

AM: PRISMA YOU TOO CHUM

ID: more harrassment?

IJ: They seem to lose their cool aroun> me. For whatever reason.

AM: Please. Buddies. STOP

AM: I _am perfectly cool_

ID: sure you are ash bud.

AM: HEY. HEy here's a thought a good idea. An AWESOME IDEA. I get you that coffee Halvea. INDRID what kinds do you like.

AM: It's ASHLEY.

SA: it's like watching. a train. go off the track.

ID: uh-huh, i gotcha ash.

SA: are you quite okay?

AM: ITS FINE.

IJ: No bu>s in this chat room. Smoking wee> is still illegal in my juristiction

II: I greatly enjoy a nice caramel frappucino.

SA: w ... what.

ID: bud as in buddy there uh.

ID: ij.

AM: Yes. I get that Halvea but again I must state it's not a PLANT it's a WORD.

ID: what ash said.

AM: I'LL BE BACK. Coffe run. Haha. Important. Wow . Yep.

ID: =:)

SA: I thought those wre called joints.

ID: careful not to spill ash!

II: Oh dear, they seem upset.

II: Hopefully they recover.

IJ: Bu> is usually refering to a piece of the marijuana plant, that woul> then be groun> up an> smoke> in what is calle> a 'joint'.

SA: are you this pedantic about all words?

IJ: He'll be fine. I pay him by the hour.

SA: flower buds...

IJ: Someone has to keep the reins in check here.

ID: well we are allll fine upstanding citizens around here.

IJ: The excessive number of Ls in that sentence lea>s me to believe that you are full of shit, mister.

ID: really though if you can restrict him from being able to type honey somehow.

II: Oh, I'm sure ID is a stellar example of Imperial citizenship.

IJ: >oesn't make him any less full of shit.

II: Really? I've found him quite enjoyable.

ID: i can be full of shit and a stellar citizen!

ID: isn't life funny.

IJ: Either way, I can't restrict anyone from typing anything, but I can give him a socially acceptable punishment for >oing so in the future.

SA: public humiliation?

IJ: Either way, I can't restrict anyone from typing anything, but I can give him a socially acceptable punishment for >oing so in the future.

IJ: Not quite that, no.

ID: ....no more coffee breaks?

II: Gracious, Halvea. So what if the boy is a bit overenergetic? What are you going to do to him?

SA: remove his snapchat filters.

II: Ha

IJ: I am not going to give him a punishment too cruel to fit the crime we are talking about here, In>ri>

IJ: I'> mess with his computer if it wasn't a work computer.

ID: i say no breaks. gotta make up the time he spent dawdling on here. =:P

ID: he did a loooot of dawdling.

IJ: >espite his outwar> nature, Ashley usually >aw>les becuase he gets his work >one quickly. If not a bit haphazar>ly.

SA: so they are secretly very intelligent.

IJ: He's not incompetant, yes.

ID: just bad at listening to boundaries.

II: I hardly imagine you'd employ him if he was.

II: He _does_ seem like he could use a bit of advice on how to interact with strangers.

IJ: Perhaps if he keeps this up, I'll have him have to work un>er Sappho for a >ay. Make him run his legs instea> of his mouth.

II: Haha, that hardly seems a punishment to me, but she is certainly enthusiastic and would keep him on his toes.

ID: yeah never leave him alone with a valuable witness, he'd ruin 'em.

ID: unless he's part of the intimidation tactics i guess.

IJ: Maybe have him work in the gym for a few hours, then? Man>atory gym room time.

ID: never a bad idea to have him able to run when he needs to!

AM: Okay hey. I brought my phone to the shop and they messed up my order, bummer right? But listen so they're remaking it and Halvea sweety. They have a special. A SPECIAL. Don't hate me now but, look listen everyone EVERYONE will back me up on this. It's a limited edition Lestat special a Lestat's whatever who cares. Not super sure what it's about but it sounded NEW and EXCITING. SO I got it for you. There all is forgiven honey.

SA: ...

II: Isn't he one of those rainbowdrinker characters

SA: it never ends.

SA: does it

II: Gracious, and we already got into such a discussion about them

II: Haha

IJ: Can you tell me that in Alternian English, please.

II: Apparently in the world of marketing it does not.

ID: it probably means you'll be getting a jade and/or rainbow colored drink.

IJ: ... I sai> I like my coffee as black as asphalt.

AM: Listen. I know. but. Here are you following me?

AM: Follow this idea. I get you that...BUT

AM: I also get this.

ID: so ij. if you need a new secretary, i learn fast.

AM: A sort of...chaser.

AM: Hadean would be awful he doesn't know your schedule and he starves so honestly your secretary wouldn't be as fit or toned as requried. NOW THE ANYWAY. I got it and here I'll send a picture.

ID: i don't order awful hideous drinks so.

ID: and really starvation is the best motivation to do good at my job.

acousticMedusa sent LESTAT_HELLA_MARKETING.jpg. it's basically that unicorn frap but idk black berry and pomagranate colored instead

ID: ahahah oh wooowwwww.

ID: so ij i don't have a resume, is that fine?

AM: Shhh shhh listen. it's great. I heard it's great. There's SO MANY reviews on line. And it's GREAT for pictures and publicity.

AM: No it's not you unprofessional-- no it's bad.

AM: I had an EXTENSIVE resume.

AM: INCREDIBLE even.

ID: i mean i'm forseeing an immediate opening in the next few minutes so.

AM: You couldn't even triangulate the perfect restuarants to have for breakfast,brunch, lunch, midafternoon mimosas, AND DINNER I bet! It's very important okay. Meetings NEED places like those reserved in advance all within close distance to eachother to ENSURE it's not exhausting but far enough to allow a walk for digestion.

AM: DUH.

AM:_important skills Hadean babe_

ID: sink or swim world out there ash, i think i'll manage.

AM: not to mention where to go for closer drinks after!

AM: Ashley.

ID: mmhmmm. ash.

ID: leyley better?

AM: Too cutesy it doesn't go with my rocking and rolling vibe okay.

AM: Ashley.

ID: ..................................................................

ID: ..........................................

ID: ash.

AM: 👀

II: I once heard of someone with the nickname 'Ashling', but I suppose if you don't enjoy cute titles.

ID: shouldn't he be returning with your coffees.

AM: It would take a special sort of someone babe. Gotta stay professional, you and me. Halvea's laws.

ID: man i hope your whatever it is doesn't get cold ind.

AM: I brought a reusable thermos for Halvea's drink it'll stay hot as the suns above. I care about the environment HADEAN.

ID: i mean is there a themos for ind's drink too.

II: Ah yes. Extremely important.

AM: You have to plan ahead for this sort of work to be a proper secretary. And no theirs is a COLD beverage why would I ever put that in a thermos the whipped creme would get SLUDGY FAST.

AM: I strictly ordered theirs to come after mine which had to be remade.

ID: psst ind is yours a cold drink.

II: What if I wanted a thermos regardless.

II: What if I just love thermoses that much.

ID: some of us love sludgy cream!

AM: It should be it's a decent degreed day, and a nice ice drink perks on up at this hour-- I really would've appreciated that before hand Indrid. NOTED then. Babe really. Tragically sorry about that one won't happen again .

AM: No, no. No one does. It's just not. It's not kosher.

ID: ind he's saying you aren't kosher.

II: Hahahaha

ID: hella rude right there.

AM: Listen. hadean. Slander isn't a cute look babe.

II: I know. I am so deeply offended.

ID: i'm just translating what you're saying ash.

ID: stop offending the lady.

II: Hadean, ever defending my honor.

AM: WELL.

ID: i'm the valiant rust in shining armor right here.

II: Hahahaha

ID: trying to secure my new cushy secretary job.

AM: If you're unhappy I'll gladly bring you this businesses card. Call, complain, get a free sludge mountain. It's PEACHY KEEN BABES.

ID: i mean or she could call up ij and complain about you~

AM:ALL COOL.

AM: YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE.

ID: tsk tsk, all caps and everything.

AM: Don't you DARE.

ID: soooo rude.

AM: It's FINE BABE. AM: SWEETY BABES.

AM: Don't do thsi HERE and NOW.

ID: ind i'm gonna need to lodge a complaint.

II: Oh, goodness, and I was _just_ going to call Halvea and tell her all about how very sad I am.

ID: sweet serendipity!

AM: HONEY HADEAN. DARLING. LISTEN. There's time to scream until we're RAW in private but for NOW hey. Keep it PRO yeaH? YOu DIG?

II: Eerily mysterious, isn't it, Hadean

II: How fate aligns

AM: MMMM

ID: oh i'm alll pro ash sweety!

AM: Babey cakes. hadean. Kindly. Ever so kindly and gently.

AM: ACTUALLY

ID: you need to stop taking things so personal. =;)

II: Oh my, it _is_ getting personal isn't it

AM: I'm going to my desk. You can get your drink from my desk Indrid.

II: Gracious, I may _swoon_

ID: wow, can't even deliver the drink ind.

AM: I have to leave this establishment IMMEDIATLEY. BRB

II: I know, I am so put out.

ID: make sure to put that in the report.

II: Oh I don't think I need a full report, do you?

II: Merely a tragically written post-it note.

II: Displaying my sorrow.

LA: HEY WHAT'S GOING ON???

ID: oh god it's this one again.

II: I can't say I've met them before.

ID: well i guess with ash gone i gotta get my kicks somewhere.

LA: HEY THERE REDLEGS.

LA: WHAT'S UP?

LA: AW DAMN IT COW EYES ISN'T AROUND!

ID: redlegs. been called worse i suppose.

LA: GIVE ME A BIT AND I'LL COME UP WITH A BETTER NICKNAME FOR YOU.

ID: uh-huh. introduce yourself to ind you caps-broken dork.

LA: WHO'S II.

LA: IS THAT YOUR PATRON DEITY OR SOMETHING.

II: That would be me.

ID: uh the purple in the chat too.

LA: WHY IS YOUR PATRON DEITY PURPLE

ID: my patron deity is myself.

II: And haha, I am no deity.

ID: i'm fucking holy as fuck right here.

ID: bow down fuckers.

II: I suppose technically it would be the messiahs, but I am not particularly fond of them.

LA: I ONLY BOW TO TROLLS WHO CAN BEAT ME LA: WHICH IS A QUALIFICATION YOU HAVEN'T MET YET!!

II: ...I misread that

II: Anyway.

LA: A....MESSIAH..... LA: OH RIGHT SPRING FLING AND BOXCARS LA: THAT'S THEIR THING LA: IS THEIR MESSIAH BUSINESS.

ID: man you're a bright one.

II: Spring fling and boxcars?

LA: FRIENDS OF MINE.

II: Unusual nicknames.

ID: i mean i'm redlegs now so it seems to be their thing.

LA: AND BY FRIENDS I MEAN THEY BEAT ME EVERY FUCKING TOURNAMENT YEAR LA: LIKE ASSHOLES LA: MY FRIENDS ARE ASSHOLES!!!!!!!

II: Haha, oh dear.

LA: WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS LIKE

LA: ARE THEY ASSHOLES

ID: uh my friends are cool af.

LA: WHAT'S AN AF.

II: I have lovely friends!

LA: WHAT DO YOU GUYS TO WITH YOUR FRIENDS

ID: 'as fuck'.

LA: I HAVE BEEN INFORMED LA: THAT IT IS PROBABLY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I DO WITH MY FRIENDS

II: Take them out to eat, or to some place we'd both enjoy.

LA: OH LA: WELL IF YOU WANT TO FUCK YOUR FRIENDS THEN GO AHEAD REDLEGS

LA: I WON'T STOP YOU

ID: uh we watch movies and eat and tonight sips brushed my hair out for me.

II: ...oh dear, no, that is not what that means

LA: >8C

ID: ughhh i think she's been hit in the head a few times.

LA: IT WAS ONLY ONCE!!!!

ID: once really hard maybe.

LA: WELL LA: OKAY YEAH IT WAS KIND OF HARD LA: BUT THE POINT STANDS

LA: SO YOU TAKE THEM OUT TO EAT LA: BY BRINGING THEM TO A DEAD CARCASS RIGHT?

LA: TO SHARE?

ID: ....no.

ID: we buy food and eat it like normal trolls.

LA: WHY WOULD YOU BUY FOOD???

LA: JUST KILL THAT FUCKER YOURSELF

LA: THERE'S PLENTY TO EAT

ID: because when i only want one burger i'm not gonna fucking slaughter the whole hoofbeast.

LA: WHY NOT?? LA: YOU SAVE THE MEAT FOR LATER AND IT MAKES A WEEK'S WORTH OF MEALS

ID: ...how do you save the meat.

LA: SALT MOSTLY LA: YOU SALT IT AND DRY IT

ID: and when i don't have a fuckass amount of salt laying around?

LA: OR FREEZE IT IF YOU HAVE A FREEZEBOX I GUESS LA: BUT I DON'T HAVE A FREEZEBOX WHEN IT'S NOT WINTER PERIGEE

LA: THEN YOU JUST WASTED A WHOLE LOT OF FOOD

ID: exactly, so i'll just buy the one burger instead.

ID: can't be wasteful.

LA: NEVER BUY YOUR MEAT LA: IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY

ID: i'll buy whatever the fuck i want. dwi.

LA: IF YOU CAN'T USE THAT SHIT THEN GIVE IT TO YOUR FRIENDS LA: TO ESTABLISH FRIENDSHIP

ID: i establish friendship with my fucking charisma and charm.

LA: WELL YOU'RE NOT VERY CHARMING LA: BUT YOU GET POINTS FOR CHARISMA

LA: MAYBE I'LL CALL YOU REDTONGUE INSTEAD

ID: that sounds like a fucking porn star name.

LA: WELL YOU JUST ADMITTED TO FUCKING YOUR FRIENDS SO

LA: IT WORKS

ID: saying af does not mean actually fucking.

LA: LOOK LA: I GET IT REDTONGUE

LA: SOMETIMES LA: YOU JUST HAVE NEEDS

ID: needs you do not satisfy with friends.

ID: that's what hookup bars are for.

LA: AND WHY CAN'T YOU SATISFY NEEDS WITH FRIENDS LA: THEY'LL KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE

LA: JUST WALK UP LIKE LA: HEY JIMJAM IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

IJ: Someone shoul> tell In>ri> that if someone is claiming a lawsuit against her, tell her I sai> "His case >oesn't stan> up."

LA: UGGGGGH LEGAL STUFF

ID: will pass the message on ij.

LA: I GET ENOUGH OF THAT FROM SHINYNUBS AS IT IS LA: NO LEGAL JARGON!!!

ID: sorry la, everyone's just working on a big case.

LA: A DUMB CASE!!!

ID: gotta get everything ready for the hearing.

ID: gotta file allll the orders.

ID: submit all the evidence.

LA: YOU'RE ALL THE EVIDENCE!!!

iD: brush up on their opening statements.

IJ: Turn the volume >own, ki>.

ID: i don't think she can.

ID: so i can only drive her out with legal jargon.

LA: WHAT VOLUME???

LA: THIS IS MY NORMAL TONE.

ID: did you submit your all-caps writing form.

LA: WHERE WOULD YOU GET YOUR KICKS IF I LEFT REDTONGUE

LA: FROM YOUR FRIENDS, PROBABLY LA: WINK WINK

ID: by abusing whoever else showed up.

ID: unlawful use of winking.

ID: that's a sentence for you.

LA: I WILL BE YOUR SPONGE OF ABUSE LA: I HAVE AAAAALL NIGHT

LA: ;) LA: WOW THAT FACE WAS DUMB I AM NEVER MAKING IT AGAIN

ID: do you have any witnesses you'd like to submit to the court la.

LA: YOUR LUSUS

ID: any evidence?

LA: WHATEVER YOUR LUSUS SHAT OUT TODAY

ID: i see, the verdict is...

ID: you're a fucking garbage can of a troll.

LA: IT'S A DROSS COFFER YOU DISTANT FUCK

ID: guilty on all charges, book 'em.

LA: YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT ME FIRST

LA: TO TAKE ME PRISONER

ID: they usually do fight.

ID: but that's what the stun batons are for.

LA: GOOD LA: BECAUSE I NEEDED SOME NEW TARGET PRACTICE ANYWAY

ID: someone drag this yellow carcass out of the chatroom so she'll stop making everyone leave.

LA: WHAT CAN I SAY LA: I'M A GIRL OF 1000 TALENTS

ID: the talent of being unbearable to be around, congrats.

LA: YOU'RE STILL HERE REDTONGUE

LA: YOU WILL SURVIVE THE WINTER.

ID: i have nothing better to do. unlike the hard workers of this chatroom.

ID: and ash i guess.

LA: SO YOU'RE NOT A HARD WORKER?

LA: WOOOOOW

ID: work smarter, not harder.

LA: WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO

ID: be amazing.

LA: BE MORE SPECIFIC!!!

LA: WHAT ARE YOU AMAZING AT?

ID: being terrible.

ID: and surviving.

LA: STILL NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH!!!

LA: DO YOU SURVIVE BY FIGHTING OR PLAYING TERRIBLE MUSIC?

ID: mostly the fighting.

LA: BUT ARE YOU GOOD AT IT

ID: better some nights than others.

LA: LAAAAAME LA: JUST BE GOOD ALL THE TIME LA: EASY SOLUTION!!!

ID: gee, why didn't i think of that.

LA: YOU'RE SO LUCKY I'M HERE HEHE

ID: yup, soooo much better than everyone else i was able to have an alright conversation with.

LA: I LIKE YOU LA: WE'RE FRIENDS NOW LA: EVEN IF YOU SAY NO

ID: wowwwww.

LA: AND THAT IS THE LAW OF THE LAND

LA: YOU GRAB THAT BULL BY THE HORNS

ID: can i grab you by the horns and put you in a wood chipper.

LA: ONLY IF YOU CAN CATCH ME

ID: ....how about you go play the quiet game.

ID: i bet you can't win.

LA: WHY DON'T YOU GO PLAY THE QUIET GAME

LA: YOU'RE STILL TALKING TO ME

ID: man you're right. i'm outies.

LA: BYYYYE LA: I WILL TREASURE OUR FRIENDSHIP FOREVER

LA: SEE YOU AROUND REDTONGUE

LA: OKAY YOU CAN COME BACK NOW I HAD MY FUN LA: BUT I KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU WHEN I WANT TO SEE MY NEW FRIEND AGAIN~ LA: BE READY FOR ME BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN MY ARROWS WILL STRIKE

ID: wooowwww.

ID: i sure the fuck know how to pick them.

ID: ...though i guess i didn't pick her so much as have her forced on me. =:/

ID: man it's safe to come back folks. =:/

AM: Is it though, Hadean.

ID: of course~

ID: enjoying your horrible coffee concoction?

LA: ARROWS!!!!!!!!

AM: What do you mean horrible? I mean the first one was horrible, lords help me. But the second make was much better---

ID: =:I

AM: Another honey but one that needs to lay off the sweets.

ID: ...all coffee concoctions are horrible, duh.

AM: And pray tell, how did you come to that conclusion babe? I'm all ears. I'm clear for ten more minutes before I need to file a few things. Come one. Walk with me talk with me. Or well not walk we can't walk baby but HA you get metaphors right? Some good hyperboles? Shoot Hadean, shoot.

ID: i mean caffeine doesn't do anything for me so really it's all overpriced shit water to me!

RR: hey hey hey how's my favorite chatterboxers today

AM: Eegad what ungodly coffees are you drinking, honey? My god I'm telling you, just TELLING you right now, you listening? Listen. You. ME. I take you to a PROPER coffee house. We load you up with a shot of pure south eastern alternian espresso and you'll FALL IN LOVE.

RR: Whoa there RR: At least buy that expresso dinner first

ID: i mean no, caffeine literally doesn't work for shit on me.

AM: No babe, don't gotta it's pre wined and dined don't worry about it.

AM: We pay extra for it. Not a big deal.

RR: Damn that expresso is a cheap little diamond ain't it

ID: i get a few minutes of feeling weird and then it's pretty much gone.

AM: Ah. Bummer. Real bummer jeez. How the hell do you stay up? I mean I can't get through morning calesthetics without a good cup.

ID: the fuck is a calesthetic.

AM: And going to hot yoga without a mocha in hand? PLEASE. IMPOSSIBLE.

AM: Morning routinely exercises to get yourself limber.

RR: Dude do you live and die by a cup of java

RR: Kneel down and worship a coffee tree

AM: I do. It's important. I'm busy baby. Listen, you listening? Okay listen up. I need it! Everyone does. Gotta keep your machine of a body going with some electricity a good buzz babe.

AM: Without the worship.

ID: man i guess i've just been living life all wrong ash! thanks for opening my bulbs.

RR: Hey doll this is sounding like the real business RR: Hook me up with some of that jazz if you're offering

ID: oh my god is this a match made in the festuring chute of the mother grub.

AM:You're welcome Hadean. I'm glad we came to a good conclusion with this meeting I was scared it was going real sour you know? And that's just no good. How about we grab closure dinner sometime. I'll have my information forwarded to you sometime. AM: Of cours it's real business babe. I don't dawdle in fakesies 100% authentic inside and out honey.

RR: Aw Hads RR: Palerino RR: You gotta wake up and take a deep whiff of the mocha sometimes, you know?

AM: I'll send you my info too. I like your spunk, rusty honey.

AM: Coffee meeting all of us, it'll be great!

RR: Well beat me daddy eight to the bar RR: Where do I grab myself a cup

ID: uh-huh. you don't want to take me to dinner because of how fucked up i got you earlier do you?

ID: because if you think i'm not as bad, if not worse, in person you're dead wrong.

AM: Spicy. Don't believe it Hadsy but we'll see. Keep talking I'm listening I promise. PROMISE with a capital P you catching that? AM: RR let's get this on the right foot gonna need your name honey. Won't know what sort of suit I'm looking for without a name.

ID: uh-huh. jeesh ashy you just want me to dirty talk on the chat now or fucking what. nikola is too young for this sorta stuff.

AM: Nikola? Sharp name for a sharp troll. But listen. Is Hadsy there right Nikola pal? How young we talking? I can't meet up for coffee with interns you got me honey?

RR: Haha I ended up with the fabulous moniker oooof RR: Nikola

RR: Who are you boss

RR: Too young? RR: Hads man you don't even know how old I am

RR: I'm halfway to 9 by now

AM: Halfway to 9-- It's Ashley by the way Ashley Sireno. Mister Sireno's find kid.

RR: I ain't been 6 7 or 8 on the dot in a looong time

AM: You keep that head up highbuddy I'm sure you'll earn that closer meal some day.

RR: What business are you in boss RR: Sounds like a jitterbug of a career if you get to go on a coffee bender by the day

ID: man nikola act your age and stop eating expired snacks.

AM: Climb that ladder, buddy. It's a tough world but you keep that suit pressed and it gets better trust me. Make some connections good ones. Real good. And everything just FALLS into your lap like with me bud.

ID: hahhh. he's no boss.

AM: I'm a Secretary pal. Easy peasy.

ID: he's a glorified paper pusher.

AM: Hadsy. Buddy. Babe. Sweetheart.

AM: I do much more thanthat.

ID: i mean. job so easy a rust could do it, huh ashy boo~?

AM: I've even got a uniform.

RR: Hey nothing wrong with a desk job RR: It puts bread and coffee on the nutrition surface

AM: Oh I don't eat bread it's got too many carbs honey.

ID: you probably look hideous in it.

RR: It's a figure of speech doll

RR: I ain't talking literal bread

AM: I look GREAT actually. I'm not feeling the teal vibe honey but if I put a good neutral in with it and a pair of my valentino slacks it really comes together babe.

RR: Hot diggity damn I'm swooning over here

RR: Swooooon

AM: Oh I see. Good one Nik. HA. But no really I do this job to kill time. It's good to get outside. Meet people. Important things you know.

AM: Swooning?

AM: HAH. Bud. I know it's hard not to but Listen. You taking notes here? I think you're more fitted for your age bracket.

RR: What? A troll in uniform is a good look on anybody RR: Even ol' Hads over here

ID: i have no idea what valentino slacks are but i bet only tools wear them.

RR: Pffft man don't take it seriously

ID: and that they are...

RR: That's how I talk to everyone

ID: last season.

RR: OHHHHH RR: BURN

RR: And on tonight's show we take a gander at the sick flame war that's burning all across our great Empire

AM: Hadsy babe I throw out last seasons clothes every season. Don't you I mean it's...pretty natural?

AM: They get too worn and really it's just not worth keeping babe.

ID: uh-huh. people throw them out and you dig through their dumpster and pull them out and wear them.

II: I believe I may have just startled another passenger with my laughter.

ID: it's okay ashy babe, we all know now.

II: How many lowbloods have you met, Ashley.

AM: Hadean I don't think you can read well Babe I'm concerned. How are we gonna keep our lunch date now if you can't read the address honey???

AM: Uh

AM: Should I be keeping count?

AM: They're all pretty low on the rung usually, overly abundant really. It's a little hard to count them all.

II: ...

AM: Now TALKING to one that's a little fewer so I guess these two are the most recent babe.

II: ...oh _dear_

SA: we all know what now?

RR: Whoooa there it's getting pretty heavy on the wine in here RR: Don't know how we're handling this berry platter

ID: ahahahah yep i'm gonna break ashy's nose for him.

SA: 🖤?

RR: Hey hey RR: Nobody gets a fight here unless I get to add live commentary on the show

II: I shall politely look in the other direction.

ID: he can have an overabundance of blood clogging his nose holes.

RR: I'm picturing it now RR: Special tonight: The rustbucket and the secretary go to war RR: It's a battle of the wits! RR: Who'l be the top dog tonight? RR: Tune in to find out!

SA: or just 🥊

AM: My nose? Hadean sweety I dont think you can afford the bill! Besides I'd rather you didn't honey I've got great symmetrical features as is I need to upkeepthat.

ID: nikola did you even comment on my last fight.

RR: Oh wait that was you wasn't it

ID: nah, kiss your straight nose goodbye.

AM: Oh the real honey comb is back. Hi darling.

RR: Uh RR: So how IS your arm doing?

SA: I'm back and my attempts a code communication are being ignored

ID: i already got ii's blessing.

SA: I even though this one through

ID: 🥊

RR: I missed some of it because I was kind of distracted helping keep Lokkic's friends from black killing each other so

SA: 👌

AM: that's not physically possible honey but listen I wouldn't really recommend that. Maybe instead we could listen to tunes sweetie? I'm GREAT at the guitar.

RR: Hey, there's always room for music on the show

SA: oh no. Once you start a fight with Hadean there is no escape.

ID: i'm breaking your nose.

SA: only confrontation and pain.

ID: it's happening.

II: I'm afraid the fight must be carried out

II: Binding legal contract

AM: No.

ID: scared?

AM: Absolutely not you'll hear from Halvea about that contract!

ID: poor little purple.

II: Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind me borrowing you for a little demonstration in law.

ID: oh! ij said there's no case ii.

AM: Hadsy I'll show you how little I'm NOT.

AM: Wait what

ID: i was supposed to pass the message on.

SA: Hadsy... wow.

SA: 😂

AM: No, no you're wrong. Haddy honey it's fine. You misheard.

ID: no i did not.

ID: straight from the teal lips to my ear.

II: Gracious, are you disgracing Hadean's trustworthiness?

AM: Horrendous. Just Horrendous. Lies.

II: I am abashed.

ID: that'll earn him another nose hit.

SA; Ashley just cease speaking and accept your fate.

AM: I wanted a simple lunch date now this. Saddening. really I thought we could have a good business talk. Maybe get you a tie and a REAL artisan meal, look at your portfolio but wow. Bodily Threat. Awful.

AM: Prisma sweetheart I can't.

AM: In all good consciousness.

ID: i'll steal your tie when i'm done beating you up. it's fine.

ID: i mean ii is this the backbone your company wants to show?

II: What are you going to _do_ with that tie, Hadean

II: Haha, Halvea and I don't work for the same firm

SA: wear it with Emerel shirt presumably

II: I work for Stanse Advoco, not her.

SA: there nothing else to wear it with

ID: he won't accept a fight from a rusty. i think his boss should know his cowardice.

II: I know her through one of her acolytes, Sappho Wilcox.

AM: M...My tie?

II: It _is_ somewhat unbecoming of a purple to not take a challenge.

ID: it surreee is!

SA: Ashley if you pay me a suitable amount I'll fight Hadean for you as your champion

AM: It is real silk from the Prada line --And I never said no to a challenge just questioning the sanity of it!

IJ: >on't kill my accountant, please.

AM: Oh honey that's real cute but I don't quite swing to that tune. I dont need a cronie.

II: Oh, we would never dream of it.

ID: i won't kill him!

II: Merely challenge his skills a little.

ID: just break his nose!

SA: I think the consensus is he's doing it himself

RR: Hey ash stop by my hive sometime if you're bringing coffee RR: It ain't nothing fancy but it's guaranteed you won't get beat up there

RR: Honestly it might be your best hiding place

SA: I'm not a cronie

IJ: I was able to get him for cheap, I >on't want to sen> him in for repairs.

SA: well now you're on my shitlist too, Ashley

AM: I might take you up on that, we need to get you properly suited up. I don't hide tho bud. AM: I am not cheap Halvea.

ID: a broken nose wouldn't affect his performance.

II: Hahaha, oh dear

ID: hahhh. cheap!

RR: Ohhhh baby now you're on the shitlist RR: That's some real serious business right there

AM: I didn't even do anything babe! Hads is stealing MY tie for devious deeds babe

II: Whatever did a purpleblood do to come for cheap?

AM: Listen. Listen. It's not cheap pay.

ID: i challenged him to a fight and he's backing out. so probably his cowardice affects his pricing.

SA: 😂

AM: I'm NOT backing out hadsy Honey.

IJ: He looked like he just got out of schoolfee>ing so I thought it woul> be nice to give him a job.

II: Oh, that was very kind of you, Halvea.

ID: great ashy! i'll get to teach you a lesson in lowblood relations!

AM: You want a sample of these tunes you'll get them.

AM: I hope you're ready for a good rolling Had babe.

AM: Wh- HALVEA.

SA: wait

ID: ahahahahah

SA: Hadean what is the matter with you you have a broken arm

ID: he's still wet behind the ears that's pathetic.

ID: it'll heal on the way pris!

SA: when are you scheduling all this

SA: on the way to where? Where does Ashley live?

AM: Oh I've got time between the next filing and a fax. Come on sweetheart let's DANCE.

ID: sorry ashy babe, you're gonna have to wait for your asskicking.

IJ: You are not getting bloo> on the fax machine.

RR: Well I'd love to stay and talk RR: But I've got a show to run and scripts to write RR: Tune in later! RR: See you around folks

II: Those _do_ take forever to clean, it's true.

SA: goodbye strange radio individual

II: I remember when the photocopier got gummed up. Terrible.

AM: Toodles Nikola.

ID: bye nikola, you rust traitor.

AM: I'm not fighting ON the fax machine honey. What implication are you getting at here HUH? I'm saying we go outside. I bring my guitar we have a jam sesh.

II: ...a music duel?

II: Oh my, that's novel.

AM: Oh no honey.

SA: I am going to die of embarrassment

ID: give those sweet coords ashy babe, i'll swing by special for you in a few nights~

SA: do not

SA: he can't fight anyways.

EB: I wxuldnt advise getting dxwn and dirty with the fax machine EB: She pxsts the results everywhere yxur superixrs are lxxking

II: ...gracious.

ID: i can too pris. hush. i'll heal on the wayyy.

AM: A few nights? I'll be beyond warmed up by then BABE. Bring your best HADSY.

SA: it will not. And even if it does, your psionics and such are still ruined, aren't they?

ID: nah i charged up.

IJ: Psionics aren't the only thing that's ruine> right now. I >i>n't nee> this look into my accountant's hatelife.

SA: regardless there's no point chasing down an indigo at a legislcerators office just to break their nose

EB: Sxunds like i walked intx the event xf the sweep EB: Where dx i buy tickets

II: Haha oh my, Halvea.

SA: you missed it it was last week

ID: hope you like psi ashy!

II: You are certainly quite open about poor Ashley's inclinations.

EB: I missed it EB: Well damn give me a rundxwn here mellx yellxw EB: Yxu cant keep me in the dark xver here

AM: Halvea please it's not that raunchy. Just a bit of a duel. HA.

SA: I swear to god Ashley if you give him your coordinates

EB: My pusher dxesnt dx well with suspense yxu knxw

II: Oh, nothing has happened, EB

II: But it might

AM has sent AlleywayBY GOOD COFFEE SHOP .coords

ID: yessss.

SA: I'm telling Sipara to keep your dumbass home

EB: Xhhhh shit EB: Stream that fight sxmebxdy

ID: sips cannot stop me.

IJ: Just please, >on't kill him. Then I'd actually have to kill you. An> that'> be unfortunate.

ID: no killing!

II: I'm sure Hadean will be careful.

AM: No killing.

SA: that's what you said about the duel with Emerel

AM: Just some good tunes Halvea. I love playing for others you know that honey.

ID: and em only kinda died pris!

SA: which was "aalso just good fun"

SA: you almost died you fuckwit

EB: Xnly kinda died EB: It happens all the time

EB: I remember last time it happened tx me EB: It was a great day really

ID: almost! it's fiiine.

SA: 🙁

AM: Yeah honeycomb. C'mon it's just a little play.

AM: Just sit back, relax have a listen babe.

AM: And throw some fists.

EB: Yeah buddy its xnly almxst EB: What fun is life if yxur friends dxnt almxst die

SA: no. He's had plenty of play and it wrecked his arm and scared his friends half to death.

ID: i'll heaaalll.

AM: You jealous there honeycomb ?

ID: it's just a purpleblood pris.

SA: and let me not remind you what you felt during that fight that I also felt

EB: Better dx a better jxb xf keeping an eye xn him then

SA: because it wasn't any sort of good fun

II: Well, to be more specific, it is Ashley.

ID: well i'll repay you by feeling smug when i break his nose!

SA: I'm not jealous of anything.

SA: if you go there I'm going with you

IJ: Oh, >on't ruin his uniform either. At least make sure it stays in one piece.

AM: Oh? You two tied or something Hadsy? Listen babe. I'm up for a round but you do gotta let a boy know these in advance.

ID: a little bit of blood is fine tho?

EB: This is warming my pumper xver here EB: Real txuching friendship

AM: I'll take it off before Halvea. Listen. I got it special. I dont plan on ruining my few teal jackets.

ID: it's fun if he sees the stain and remembers i wrecked him.

IJ: >on't tell me about your hate life.

SA: Yes. Only if you wreck him

ID: and a good reminded to not underestimate anyone to boot!

SA: which you won't

AM: I'm getting wrecked?

SA: because I'll be holding you back

ID: you're totes getting wrecked.

AM: So both of you will be there then?

ID: no holding me back pris, this is h a p p e n i n g .

EB: Except yxur friendship is getting wrecked by the purple guy EB: This is turning intx a real mxvie plxt here EB : Any xf yxu ever think xf gxing intx acting

SA: it's not happening

AM: Hell honey it'll be a real moshpit won't it?

SA: you aren't completely healed and you won't be for longer than it will take to get there

ID: i heal quick pris, i proooomise.

AM: Halvea I request an evening off for a few hours to do this in a few nights!

SA: excuse me, my what is getting wrecked?

EB: Id prxvide the mxshing music but i cant even scream right EB: Shit xutta luck xn my end

AM: I got the pipes for all genres babe I got it covered.

SA: hadean

EB: Awesxme nxw all yxu have tx dx is sell tickets

ID: so punch you in the throat as well as the nose, got it.

AM: listen. Babe. Prisma. Take note, get yourself a pen and paper. NOTES. It's fine. Chill we're not grubs right?

AM: A simple meeting of the minds. thats all sweetheart

SA: you shut up

IJ: As long as you >on't come back >ea> I guess. Takes up one of your sick >ays though.

ID: yeah pris, we're meeting up for a quick lil fight.

ID: ...and when i win i'm taking his tie and his wallet.

EB: Xhhhh its getting hxt and heavy in here EB: This might just turn intx a prxper blitz yet

SA: again. This is exactly. What you said about Emerel.

SA: we learn from the past, Hadean.

AM: That's fine I'll pencil it into my calendar then! Hadsy promised no death so nothing to fret over. Besides Halvea honey I've got this. Have any of my songs disappointed HM? I could bring so much peace after a bit of tussle after one.

SA: 😰😰😰

ID: i learned not to fight in a ring where you have to play by the rules.

ID: this is an alleyway fight!

ID: this is my jam.

SA: that is even worse.

SA: because you weren't even using rules in the other ring.

AM: It's by my FAVOURITE SHOP don't worry Prisma baby.

AM: We'll get a good cup, some mineral water after. Right as rain.

EB: Yxu knxw

SA: don't tell me not to worry. You didn't see him after the first fight.

ID: i was far more concerned about not messing emerel up. that counts as rules.

EB: I think there's sxme miscxmmunicatixn xn whx is fighting where here

SA: and then you killed him

AM: Press Hadean's shirt. Look I'll take good care of your boy here honey.

ID: that fight was a fluke. this one'll be better.

EB: Are yxu breaking faces xr drinking fancy xverpriced water

II: Why not both

SA: Ashley is too pretentious to say fight in conventional terms

AM: both sweetheart. Doing both. It's business you wouldn't understand.

EB: Sxunds like business where yxu get ripped xff fxr water tx me

ID: and i'll use the pretentiousness and stick his instrument up his chute! everyone wins.

EB: What even makes high class mineral water different from well drinks

ID: except ashy.

ID: he loses.

SA: it doesn't matter! He's a damn indigo he is by nature pretentious

II: Well, thank goodness I escaped.

EB: Whxa there remind me nxt tx get xn yxur bad side

AM: I'm not pretentious I simply know where I belong and FIT IN babe.

AM: Conforming isn't so bad sweetheart.

SA: will you please just listen to the reason of something other than your fists and temper.

EB: Yxu fit in exactly where yxu shxuld fit in

EB: With the pretentixus

SA: for five seconds.

ID: i'll make your nose conform to my fist!

SA; at the very least until you are completely healed.

AM: I'd like to see you try, Had honey! See if you can even still do it after a few notes. I promise you'll just love my headliner~

SA: WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

EB: Uh ID EB: I knxw I'm a stranger and all but I think yxu shxuld dx sxme listening tx yxur buddy there EB: He sxunds pretty wxrried abxut yxu

ID: fiiiine. i'll wait a week and then i'll be good as new.

AM: Not a business partner of my babe. It's fine. Maybe we can reconnect these business relations after.

EB: And like hell alsx break sxmething sx dx that listening thing

ID: ash! gonna reschedule your nose surgery in a week.

AM: After some long talks and deliberation.

AM: You are going no where near my nose!

SA: 😰

AM: Just go for I don't know an ear babe, it's hip to have crooked ones now, or like an ankle.

ID: if you're a real good boy i'll smash it flat for you.

AM: I hope you dig long naps sweetheart.

SA: Hadean...

AM: Prisma babe listen. We know how this debate whent and what shares he's buying tonight.

AM: The stock market is closing babe.

AM: And the totals are in.

SA: I don't care what you say you are utterly irrelevant

AM: We're having the funds withdrawn in afew days while they're at all a all time HIGH BABE.

SA: you are some prissed up high blood picking unnecessary fights for your vain ass ego

AM: A done deal.

SA: sit down and shut up

EB: Xkay wxw EB: Just stxp grapeseed EB: I live fxr drama and im getting a headache listening tx yxu

ID: don't worry pris, i'll give him an extra kick for you.

AM: Not stopping now honey. Listen EB you wouldn't understand this talk either. So calm down for a bit and sit back and watch?

II: ...your condescension is not helping matters, Ashley.

EB: I understand the sweet sweet xdxr xf bullshit

EB: Yxu smell like a whxle lxt xf bullshit friend

II: You do know everyone here can understand you perfectly well, yes?

AM: I smell like Dior no. 55. EB.

SA: you don't need to do anything for me except remain in one piece until you are better, and then some.

EB: Fxr the recxrd I'm in training right nxw purple guy EB: I understand plenty enxugh tx knxw when i see a man well xn his way tx getting his ass kicked

EB: Man i cant wait

ID: i'll be in one piece in a week pris. you'll see.

ID: i'm sturdy.

EB: And yxu EB: Shut up and listen tx yxur yellxw friend and stxp being stupid EB: Yxure gxing tx kill the pxxr guy frxm stress

AM: You were so excited a second ago? Wanting a refund now babe? Bad choice honey a lot of returns aren't honored anymore. Bad business practice.

II: I don't think that will exactly make him inclined to listen to you, EB. I trust Prisma and Hadean to settle this themselves.

EB: Xh believe me EB: If i feel like getting a refund EB: Ill get my refund EB: And yxu wxnt ever see it cxming ;)

SA: it doesn't matter how sturdy you are, we know that. Save your battles for when they matter. Not some chai drinking nobody secretary.

EB: Well cxnsidering i appear tx have walked intx a chat full xf angry kids

SA: at least apply a logical value to it

ID: chai drinking nobodies are fun to fight.

ID: that's my logic?

SA: youve never fought one

ID: i've fought lots of nobodies!

ID i just never asked if they drink chai.

SA: and it didn't do anything for you except get you on someone's worthless shitlist!

AM: I am far from a nobody babe.

AM: Just saying.

ID: you're below a nobody, lbh.

SA: nobody cares what you are assclown

AM: ASsclown...HA

ID: please pris, it's ashclown.

AM: Oh that's rich. Try better babe. I wanna hear the next one from Hadsy unless he wants to be a coward like he called me earlier for not wanting to in the first place.

SA: he isn't a coward

AM: There you go had honey.

SA; he's smarter than this, though

SA: and he knows it I'm sure

AM: is he honeycomb?

AM: He called me a coward for not wanting to ruin my slacks and goated me on. I think he wants a concernt.

ID: ....i mean pris this is what i do like. alll the time.

AM: So I'm accepting. I scheduled it and i've got a sick day off.

EB: Whx wants pxpcxrn

SA: I know it's what you do presumably all the time. I've known you long enough to use deductive reasoning

EB: Because i think we need sxme pxpcxrn in here

SA: but that's no reason to go chasing after it after you've already gotten hurt this once, even if you will be better "in a week", which you won't

ID: hope you have more sick days, you might need them to fix your snout~

ID: i will too.

SA: I'm going to slap the shit out you

AM: Won't be needing them babe, trust me. Good business men always have trump cards honey.

ID: no you won't. =>:I

SA: 😰😰😰

EB: Hey grapeseed EB: Yxure a man whx likes tx dx business right

SA: please

EB: I have a prxpxsitixn fxr yxu

AM: And what's that anonymous babe?

EB: Xf the business variety

ID: pris. i'll be fine. will nightly progress reports of my wounds make you feel better?

EB: Yxu cxme and tangx with me and my buddy. EB: Yxu win, yxu can gx at whxever yxu want after, including this guy. EB: We win, fight with him is xff.

ID: what? no!

ID: fuck off eb, this is my fight.

SA: only a little. I don't want you running off to fight some random member of this chat, again, just so you can potentially get hurt badly again.

EB: Excuse me im dxing business deals xver here

AM: I don't want a go for sport babe. This is deeper at this point. I've got a strong connection here with Hadsy. A business one. Look at us. This level of BUSINESS CASUAL we've moved past last names even! Listen honey. I've got this scheduled for him but you show me your MOXIE and I'll consider it.

EB: Sx yxure scared to take xn a pair xf little lxwblxxds EB: Wxw

EB: Yxur ancestxrs are smiling xn yxu

AM: Oh babe no not scared.

AM: I'm making sure my meetings don't overlap. You understand right busy schedules.

AM: I'm not rejecting you babe I'm storing your resume for later honey.

EB: Uh huh EB: Sx yxu cxuld take a sick day fxr him EB: But nxt fxr us EB: Hxw predictable

EB: I guess yxu just dxnt have it in yxu tx make a gxxd schedule

AM: I've known him longer honey. Nothing personal. I don't even know who you are gimme a name sweetcheeks.

EB: Eberic

ID: eberic fuck right off.

AM: Eberic...alright I wrote a note. Pen to paper right here stuck it on my computer.

AM: But I really do have to give little HaHA dibs first here though honey you understand right?

EB: Yxud best make time fxr me grapeseed EB: Because this guy wxnt be up fxr anxther week

EB: Whereas me EB: Ready anytime

ID: ash bash is sooo on.

AM: You do make a good argument Eberic babe. You got a rebuttle for your tardiness Haddy?

ID: eb is just doing this out of some sort of pity towards me.

ID: and isn't actually doing it for any hateful motives.

ID: they're playing you.

EB: Dxnt flatter yxurself babe

AM: Do you need pity honey?

EB: I aint dxing this fxr yxu

ID: i don't, but they think i do. which is sadddd.

AM: I mean you DID have your ...I think underling try to talk you out of this? You let your cronies talk for you babe?

ID: and fuck off eb, i called dibs anyways.

SA: what's sad is if Ashley goes too far I can crush his trachea by thinking about it.

ID: prisma is his own troll and-

AM: you got good ears Prisma honey?

ID: pris.

EB: I dxnt even knxw yxu EB: But i figured since xur esteemed highblxxd is willing tx fight EB: I cxuldnt pass up the xppxrtunity tx see hxw great he is in persxn

SA: 😨

ID: he's a shit highblood that i'm going to beat up.

EB: Im first up xn the schedule man EB: Let me take this xne

SA: don't goad him for having friends that care about him.

ID: fuck no. fuck off eb.

AM: AHA

SA: I know Hadean could fuck you up if he wanted to. He's a psion. You're below us.

ID: #psimasterrace

AM: You think you're so high and mighty for lowblood poor bred powers babe! I'd rethink that strategy if I were you babe.

SA: poor bred

SA: oh.

EB: Exactly why yxu shxuldnt waste yxur time with him EB: And instead shxuld thrxw a little nxd my way

SA: 🤷‍♀️

SA: It's fine.

SA: I don't actually mind all that much.

SA: literally.

ID: see, this is why i'm breaking your nose.

ID: that way. for the rest of your loooong life.

SA; Hadean

AM: Bring it babe.

ID: you can look in the mirror and remember the rusty smashing you. =:)

SA: at least tone the vitriol back some please

SA: I'm exhausted this is hard for me

SA: you would know that

AM: Nah I need to know his play by play honey. Let my competition spill their secrets.

ID: go to bed pris. I'm obviously not rushing out to fight him tonight. we agreed in a week!

SA: I cannot rest knowing there is something I must do.

ID: all you have to do it go to bed pris.

SA: and I don't know what will happen if I leave. He is determined to keep escalating this despite getting what he wants.

AM: I hope you're ready to get rocked haddy honey.

AM: Haha

AM: Man this is the best business day I've had in ages babe, listen you're a fun toy I like this.

SA: he isn't a toy

ID: woowww i'll rock your nose with a brick.

II: ...you are being rather rude, Ashley.

EB: Dude just listen tx yxur buddy EB: Hes nxt telling yxu tx back xff because yxu suck even thxugh yxu dx EB: Hes dxing it because he dxesnt want yxu hurt again EB: Since that scares pexple whx like yxu

AM: ✨ Indrid honey for you. I'll see the light and tone it down a knotch.

II: I do appreciate it.

ID: pris and i made an agreement eb, it's fine.

EB: Sxunds like he dxesnt agree

AM: I'm just so ...on air did you read that? I'm meeting a ruffian for a coffee concert. I'm having a ball babe. A bit of something to spice up the agenda.

SA: we talked about it.

II: Oh, I understand. It's all new and exciting.

SA: I still don't approve.

SA: but I trust him to be careful and less reckless than last time. 😰

ID: see? allll fine.

AM: We'll be careful babe. See all safety precautions. I'll bring a med kit. It's fine sweetheart.

AM: Good aftercare.

ID: bring lots of gauze for your snout.

SA: if this ends in 🖤 you're both dead to me

II: Gracious.

II: I certainly hope not.

ID: do nooot worry pris.

II: This is not how any good pitchrom starts.

ID: i'm not desperate.

II: Ha

SA: 💚😂

AM: Oh babe don't go planning my future for me. I haven't finished getting together everything for Halveas fiscal quarter even yet.

II: I can see how that might strain you.

SA: actually Ashley I am a clairvoyant.

SA: I can read your future.

II: Does his nose break.

SA: very easily, actually.

II: I ask out of only morbid curiosity.

AM: Haddy you better dress nice babe.

AM: It's bad to show up to a meeting in business casual.

AM: Otherwise I'm going back to work.

SA: 🤷‍♀️

ID: oh i'll have something special for you~

SA: you don't have anything nice to wear.

SA: at all

SA: don't lie

AM: ❓

SA: now you'll have to wait until we go shopping.

SA: 👍

ID: oh yes i do~

SA: ...

AM: !! Exciting honey. I'm just TICKLED....well not pink that's not my hue and really babe listen, a bad expression. Blase even. i hate it. So here instead I'm just babe, i AM bursting in blackberry hues. Eh, we'll workshop it honey we'll get the best team on the job for that one. Don't forget make up haddy. An a good slick back hairstyle is good.

ID: i have ass-length hair.

SA: you're tacky and I hate you

AM: That isn't professional.

AM: I can trim it while we duel babe.

AM: Or after ! I can take you to my favourite new burlesque barber shop.

AM: It's very new, very popular.

AM: Great ratings online.

ID: my hair is prof af.

AM: Is it for pulling babe? because that's what that comes across as in a fight, plan smarter honey I don't want this to be easy.

SA: no hair pulling.

SA: at this point I may as well say "no" every minute it would More or less suffice the entire conversation. It isn't going to change for the next hour.

SA: you aren't going to say anything new. Or unique.

SA: I don't even have to look at my phone...

ID: hahhh. you can try to grab it, but it just gives me more openings to break your nose.

AM: Haddy sweetheart want to make this private? Coordinate a bit babe. Less confusion the better.

ID: aww pris intimidating you? alright honeygrub, we can go where the big bad pris can't snark at you~

AM: Sweetheart he's just not with this company's vibe is all.

SA: no

AM: Bringing the vibes down.

AM: Like that.

SA: and you're ruining my evening but we can't all get what we want.

II: Personally I think Prisma has an applaudable amount of sense, but I am merely a bystander here.

SA: I appreciate this.

II: I do my best.

SA: Hadean don't leave this chat

SA: don't do it

AM: Indrid what happened to good old fashioned caste solidarity babe?

SA: it quits existing when you're an insufferable prick.

SA; even your castemates are embarrassed by you

II: I believe I can be quite capable of supporting my caste and others at the same time.

II: I am talented.

ID: pris it's fiiine. i'm not going anywhere tonight.

AM: I know you're talented honey. I won't argue that of course. Why would I? I have no reason to.

ID: even if i did i'd never reach the city to fight him tonight anyways!

SA: I meant verbally in a private chat but that as well

AM: I just want a smidge of back up maybe, sweetheart.

ID: indrid do you want any of my punches to be dedicated to how many times he's called you annoying nicknames?

SA: i feel as if indrid has wisely washed their hands of this

II: I've heard far worse, really. _Much_ more embarrassing. I don't mind.

ID: well imagine how sad they'll sound with his snout broke!

AM: 😃

ID: ps make sure that everyone at the firms know he got it broke by a maroon would you?

AM: I wouldn't.

AM: I'll say I tripped babe.

ID: i was talking to ind.

AM: I'm rather beanpole-ish it's believeable.

ID: not you ashy~

II: Well, Ashley, I do suppose it _is_ my place to assure you that I will think no less of you if you lose.

SA: he's not even going to acknowledge the fight, why bother.

ID: shocker, the world does not revolve around you~

AM: Oh there's no losers here sweetheart I'll assure you of that.

II: Oh?

II: Interesting.

AM: Indeed right?

ID: he'll acknowledge it to himself every night pris.

II: I confess you _have_ piqued my curiosity.

SA: impossible you know they have insurmountable disbelief

SA: Hadean you should rest. You have to heal.

ID: ...pris. you can't disbelieve a broken snout.

ID: i'm up to speed heal pris.

AM: I'm glad to hear that Indrid I'll leave your wit to fill in the blanks of what I mean however honey.

II: A man of mystery, hm?

ID: a man of shitty fashion sense and narcissism.

ID: ftfy.

SA has sent IMG_049.png. It is him, making the saddest harp seal eyes imaginable. For him, at least.

AM: I can't lay everything out on the table yet, honey. Like I said trump cards!

AM: What is this.

AM: Babe is this you?

ID: priissssss.

II: Oh, well, I suppose that's fair.

SA: Hadean.

ID: i didn't even know your face could make that. face.

II: I _do_ expect grand things now, though.

AM: As you always should!

SA: what do you mean is it me?

II: Gracious, you DO look upset, Prisma.

AM: It's uncomfortable.

SA: it can if I focus extremely hard. But only voluntarily.

II: Should I? That sounds exhausting. Whatever would I do if I were constantly waiting for something momentous to occur.

SA: my natural expressions are minute and subtle. I do not respond to emotional stimuli facially.

II: I would constantly be anticipating the next thing. Eventually I would become numb to it all.

AM: Is it picture sharing hour now honies?

II: It was earlier actually.

AM: Darn i was out getting coffee.

AM: Ah well.

II: I feel I shouldn't recycle the selfie I used before, and I look too tired right now to take a good one.

AM: Another surprise for Haddy I guess?

AM: indrid please we both know that's a lie but do as you want babe.

AM: I could also bring you concealer.

II: Haha, aren't you a flatterer.

AM: And makeup and some eye cream and a cucumber mask?

ID: pshhh you'll get to look at my face when i'm beating yours in.

II: That does sound nice.

II: But I'm on a train right now.

AM: Bummer honey.

SA: actually they won't be able to as the eyes close on reflex to protect themselves

AM: You're just so sure of yourself that you'll get the first hit huh babe?

AM: It's cute really.

SA: Ashley if your ego were any bigger I am certain your own reflection would murder you

ID: ahahahahah.

AM: Or something else babe but I'm at work and I feel Halvea has a 3rd sense for everything I do.

ID: i'll get in the hits that count, don't worry~

SA: how is this still entertaining for you both

SA: how are you not bored

SA: you have what you want. Shouldn't that be the end of it.

SA: until the due time

AM: Are you jealous prisma honey?

SA: I don't feel jealousy.

AM: edgy...

SA: what part of lobotomizes fails to reach your mind.

AM: you should market that I hear that's really selling now

SA: I am not edgy.

AM: I didn't take note so i forgot.

SA: it's not an act

SA: it's a reality

AM: mmmhm

II: You _do_ know lobotomization's effects, don't you, Ashley?

AM: I mostly want to know what haddy's wearing so I don't clash.

AM: So I don't care at the moment it's not a priority I'll pull up a search later though.

SA: you're an absolute idiot

SA: but yes! I am edgy

II: Well, it does take some reading time to devote, that's true. I'm sure your work is important.

ID: don't worry, i'll swear something your shitty purple blood goes well with!

SA: everything i do is to recklessly gain the attention to others

SA: and then push them away to show how

SA: cool and impressive I am

AM: It's very Halvea has a lot of paper's to go through daily and trolls to deal with.

AM: I take pride in this work Indrid honey.

AM: I'll wear something that doesn't show blood easily then. Couldn't you have been a higher hue haddy babe? Then I wouldn't have to look into a synthetic blend...

II: Well, that's good. If you didn't that'd be unfortunate. Every firm troll should be enthusiastic about their duties.

II: If not, why be here?

AM: Precisley, Indrid.

ID: maroon is the best. so. no.

II: Well, you could always complain to the mother grub, Ashley.

AM: Or at least pretend for gods sake the rest of us don't want that negativity around it gives fine lines to the face.

AM: I'd rather not a brood mother isn't on my list of sights to see.

SA: go to bed before you do get wrinkles

ID: i'll give them more to worry about than wrinkles.

SA: what is it you say to me

SA: something

SA: hush up

AM: Say my name sometime Haddy.

AM: This is beginning to feel one sided.

ID: pshhh. ashy sweety buns, better~?

ID: you just love the sound of your own fucking name.

SA: why don't I get cute pet names

SA: solve that one for me

AM: !!

ID: because they're mocking names pris.

SA: I don't believe he thinks that

SA: I wish I had the monkey to hold

SA: that might be vaguely nice

AM: i think whatever I want to think babe.

AM: Keep that up though Haddy and maybe I'll let you actually GET a punch in.

ID: uh-huh. talk's cheap ashy boo.

ID: cheap like your shoes.

AM: Do you even wear shoes Haddy...

SA: dumpster diving. Sachs fifth

ID: of course i do~ i'm not kicking your ass bare, that's just asking for diseases~

AM: Mine are LV's babe, the only shade of red I wear besides your hue come a week from now honey.

SA: wrong shade of red

SA: you'll ruin them.

AM: Mmmm mMmmm HMMM

ID: it's cute that you think you'll bloody me~

SA: Hadean.

AM: Facts. Facts is the right word Haddy.

SA: that would make that sentence grammatically incorrect.

SA: you are stupid, aren't you.

SA: Hadean sleep

SA: so I can sleep too

AM: Shut.

ID: facts is i'm gonna wreck you.

SA: bed

AM: yep I'm satisfied bed it is. Goodlight all

II: I think sleep is a wonderful thing.

ID: i'm goooinggg!

SA: 💚💚💚

AM: Heal fast Haddy.

ID: dream about me ashy~ =:P

AM: So you can get new wounds!

SA: don't dream about him

AM: You're not that lucky honey.

SA; it will be weird

II: Prepare well, Ashley.

ID: nothing compared to what you'll get~

AM: Will do indrid.

ID: get wrekt.

II: Ah, but don't you want him to be fresh for your fight?

II: All dewy-eyed and clean-faced?

AM: Regardles I'm going to be he's crippled and apparently hive grounded so it's fine.

iD: get wrekt in your dreams of me.

SA: bed

AM: hohohoo

ID: fiiine!

SA: be quiet ashy

AM: Good light this time, Haddy. But not truly.

II: I don't think that will do anything, Prisma. But good light, all.

AM: I dont take orders from you I'm not on your pay roll prisma.

ID: g'light ashy, try to keep up with work tomorrow for once!

II: A fact for which I am sure we all are grateful.

SA: you seem to follow hadeans just fine though

SA: 🙃

AM: Quiet you.

ID: i know how to unlock purple bitch mode.

AM: Uhg.

II: You two keep telling each other that like you think it will work.

SA: oh is that a soft spot of yours

AM: Get to rest all of you honies. JEEZ

ID: i'm going. later. =>:D

SA: if I see one of you start typing again

SA: ...

SA: 🍾🍾🍾

AM: ...

SA: ashy is back for more of their lowblood kink

SA; do I have to tell you to go to bed too?

AM: GO TO REST PRISSY.

SA: shh that's a bad indigo

AM: Gross don't say that get to rest.

II: I have a thought. We all count to five and get off.

ID: log the fuck out already ashy you fuckhead.

SA: it won't HADEAN

AM: YOU FIRSt

SA: what are you, a toddler?

SA: this is truly what pitch fights are made of

SA: screaming incoherently until you get your way

SA: go the fuck you sleep you petulant child

ID: i hope you're exhausted tomorrow and you can't work and you get fired.

SA: you too Hadean

II: How about you all get off or I start clogging the chat with legal code, which will put everyone to sleep anyway.

SA; it wouldn't work on me

II: Everyone except Prisma

SA: I'm already awake again

AM: I already rear it all day Indrid

AM: *read

II: Sigh.

II: There goes my usually foolproof threat.

II: What is a woman to do.

ID: i'll power through it out of pure fucking spite.

AM: Put haddy and Prisma to sleep first then I'll rest.

II: Well, I suppose it's a contest to see who can stay up the longest then.

SA. An infant

II: I hope you're all ready to party.

AM: VERY WELL

SA: are you proud of yourself, Ashy?

SA: this is what you've reduced your caste to

AM: When I'm last troll standing yes babe

SA: childish bickering over who has the last laugh

ID: you'll be the first one to fall you mean.

SA: honestly pathetic

SA: Hadean go rest

AM: You're first to fall Haddy, you good at polishing honey?

SA: hush

ID: hahah i'll polish my fists on your nose.

AM: You hush

AM: Cute.

SA: shh

AM: Or whatever descriptor

ID: you suck.

AM: Godddss just go to rest both of you

SA: it's not clever anymore you two you're rehashing old insults you've been using for the last three hours

ID: go drown.

SA: oh does the idea of having raccoon eyes bother you?

SA: I'll drown you Hadean

AM: no I know the splendors of makeup

AM: DONT YOU DARE I NEED MY FIGHT

ID: makeup can't fix ugly.

SA: im drowning him

AM: 👹

SA: look he's still going

SA: god this is hysterical

AM: as are you babe

SA: hush

ID: 💢

AM: if I get another nickname I'll rest.

SA: hush

AM: how about that

SA: just command him to sleep

ID: bulgewaffle.

SA: he clearly can't resist it

SA: Hadean you are a fucking idiot

AM: horrible i want a better one

SA: just keep him up all night

SA: let him be stubborn

ID: ashy you sugar-crusted diamond encrusted piece of hoofbeast shit GO THE FUCK TO COON.

SA: go on, I'll stay

AM: ah much better

SA: 😢

SA: im disappointed in you

ID: aren't we all.

SA: if only because you're wittier than that

ID: i'm running on fumes cut me some....

ID: slack.

SA: I told you to sleep

AM: no slack

AM: YOU sleep Prisma

SA: oh look who broke their end of the deal

ID: go the fuck to sleep you nooksnorkling buffoon.

AM: it wasn't legally bindig

SA: now you're a liar and a bad businessman

AM: im

II: Ashen, ami

SA: it was in writing, that's binding

AM: amazing

II: I will give you as many nicknames as you like

II: Also coffee

AM; oui indrid

SA: don't encourage him I want Hadean to rest

AM: it's not the sammeee

II: If you gracefully take the initiative

II: And I shall depart as well

SA: if we leave they will not

ID: ghfddddddddd

SA: shh

AM: very well indrid

II: Good light!

ID: glght.

AM: lig

ID: fucyo.

SA: this is going to be a pitch thing. I feel it in my bones

SA: 😩

SA: It was nice being friends while it lasted 🙄

SA: ugh