#Upfronts 2017

[getvalentined]

The Big Patreon Breakdown

Okay, Patreon's Discord Q&A ended on the 16th, and I've been waiting to see if anything else happened—like maybe a a public announcement from Patreon instead of emails sent exclusively to creators and a video hidden on the CEO's personal YT page—but nothing has happened, so I'm gonna do a breakdown of what we're looking at.

This is an EXTREMELY long post. I am not putting it behind a cut. I'm not sorry.

Short attention span version here.

—

I. The iOS processing fees are a smokescreen covering up the actual devastating changes that Patreon is forcing creators into.

The iOS fees are trash, 30 percent is extortion and we all know it—but that's not the biggest issue at hand here. Patreon is using this event as an excuse to change the entire structure of the creator side of their platform, and blaming Apple to avoid getting backlash.

They tripled their platform and processing fees in 2017, passing it on to patrons without notice, and the subsequent hemorrhage of paying users forced them to walk it back. They tried to force everyone onto their rolling billing model in 2021, and the entire community pushed back so hard they were forced again to walk it back.

This time, they're doing both and insisting it's Apple's fault, and everyone is taking that at face value because Apple sucks. And Apple does suck, but Patreon is getting what they've wanted for years by catering to Apple.

Oh, also, they're forcing creators to notify their patrons of the billing model changes (with a suggested template that explicitly refers to it as a decision made by the creator, even though nobody is making any decisions here except Jack Conte) rather than doing it themselves.

II. Patreon is not going to change course for any reason. This is set in stone.

There are multiple proofs for this, including but not limited to:

One-on-one calls between the platform's top earners and the CEO, Jack Conte, wherein the vibe was apparently not "What can we do to support your business in order to retain your place on our platform?" but rather "We know that the only way this works is if we don't do it, but how can we keep you from complaining about it any more than you already have?" One creator explained in granular detail how they run their business through this platform and why changing their billing model would ruin literally everything, and Conte responded with "Is this an essential part of your offering?"

The Patreon Team on Discord has continued to shut down all discussion of alternative options with assertions that Apple won't allow it, even if those alternatives were suggested based on legal precedent set by lawsuits against Apple, and the declaration that they will not be allowing the app to be removed from the App Store no matter what because it's the single most important and integral avenue of creator growth on the platform. (Put a pin in that.)

The platform's top earner is on the pay-per-creation billing model, the one that is going to be hit the hardest; creators on this model stand to lose literally 90 percent of their income overnight. This creator and his team were as blindsided as the rest of us, and they've been offered no assistance except for a complex math equation to try to calculate how much they should be charging people on fixed-price tiers, and no assurance except "the iOS app is the platform's highest source of engagement and is necessary to help you continue to grow."

Pay-upfront (PUF) and pay-per-creation (PPC) billing is going away for new accounts and anyone who doesn't opt out via Patreon's convoluted backend before November 1 of this year, and anyone who doesn't manually switch over to their rolling billing cycle will be automatically pushed into it on November 1, 2025. This means that PUF creators no longer have the promise of a steady paycheck when they need it, early enough in the month to pay rent and bills, while PPC creators are losing their entire business model all at once, which has resulted in a loss of 75 to 90 percent of income for multiple PPC creators who have tried to switch to the rolling billing structure in the past. They are killing these people's livelihoods and they know it, they have seen the data to prove it, but they will not be swayed.

III. Patreon claims the iOS app is the highest source of engagement on the platform at 40 percent—but will not define what "engagement" means, and staff refuse to share detailed analytics or data on the revenue share coming from the app.

Several creators, some with a couple dozen patrons and some with thousands, polled their audience to get a feel for how many of them used the app. Consistently across every creative industry, genre, and form of media, the answer was 2 percent or less. The average across a dozen-plus polls of actual active patrons, numbering into the thousands, is that around 85 percent of patrons access the platform exclusively via the web, whether on desktop or mobile. The majority didn't even know there was an app.

Further, Patreon would not explain what "engagement" means, but did not deny the possibility that dismissing an app notification on your phone counts as an "engagement."

When Patreon was asked for data on how often people pledged to support a creator via the iOS app, the only response was the claim that information is "sensitive to [Patreon's] business" and can't be shared. In a creator-exclusive server. With the people who bring that revenue onto the platform in the first place. And have our own analytics that we can look at individually, which show an average of 0 to 0.5 percent revenue from the iOS app.

IV. Patreon does not have a refund policy in place to work with Apple, and has given no implications of intention to work with Apple to shorten the time it takes for funds from iOS purchases to be paid out to creators, which is currently 75 days.

Yes, you read that correctly: at the moment, it takes 75 days before creators can cash out funds processed via iOS. On top of that, Apple's refund policy is 60 days, and the creator is not involved in the process whatsoever—if a malicious actor pledges to your page, downloads all your work over the course of a month, and then pings Apple for a refund? Apple gets to decide whether or not they get that refund.

Patreon's general refund policy is that it's up to the creator 99.9 percent of the time, with very rare cases of fraud requiring Patreon's intervention. In the case of pledges and Commerce sales via iOS, the creator has no say, and Patreon currently has no policy to protect them. They've stated that they're working on a refund policy that will work with Apple's guidelines to keep everyone happy, but at this point we all know what that means—they're just going to use Apple's refund policy.

They also wouldn't say whether or not creators would be on the hook for Apple's added processing fees, as is usually the case with other big payment processors, but it sounds like we are! So if someone pays $14.50 on the iOS app, the creator gets $10, can't pay it out, and then the malicious actor can call for a refund weeks later and the creator will owe $14.50—in spite of only ever having seen $10 and never being able to pay it out because the 75 hold hadn't passed. Sounds great!

V. Patreon's own graphics meant to explain why this is necessary and how the new fees work are not correct.

I'm gonna let these mostly speak for themselves:

The sale price listed on this graphic is $10, but adding together the three fees listed gives a total of $11.35. This is likely a copying error, as 4.35 is clearly not 30% of 10, but the lack of attention to detail on one of the only two pieces of official material that we have which refer directly to the numbers on which Patreon is signing away our livelihoods is slightly concerning.

This one totals up to 103 percent! (Actually closer to 104, since I rounded Android and Mobile down by about a quarter percent each.) The 40 percent figure on the iOS bar is based on the figure given to us by Patreon staff, and was used to place the markers to denote individual percentages on the other three.

Patreon made these and gave them to us with the assertion that they were proof that the iOS app is indispensable—why should we trust anything they say about numbers if the charts they gave us are literally impossible?

VI. Patreon refuses to offer any promises to 18+ creators that they will not be removed from the app in order to adhere to Apple's content guidelines.

Instead, Patreon staff's response to this request for reassurance is "We have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the Patreon app." You may note that's phrased very specifically, and leaves a hole big enough to drive a freight train full of iPhones straight through. They have no plans to remove 18+ creators from the app. When asked for clarification on this, confirmation that they would not be removing us from the platform if Apple pushed them to do so regardless of whether or not they have plans, this sentiment was simply repeated in more words and with more apologies, along with a reminder that Patreon has had to change their terms for 18+ creators several times already in order to keep up with laws and competition.

VII. All the features Patreon is insisting are integral for creator growth are inaccessible to 18+ creators, and questions about this were either dismissed, redirected, or ignored.

Remember how the iOS app is the single most important and integral avenue for character growth on the platform? Well, 18+ creators are not discoverable on the platform, regardless of the avenue of access. We are not visible on the app unless you have it installed, are logged in, are already following us on the platform, and click an external link to be directed to our pages from somewhere else via a mobile web browser. There is no way to find us on the platform itself.

Other features that staff insist are necessary for growth to which 18+ creators do not have access:

Patreon creator search (on web, Android and iOS apps)

Mass post editing (now called the "Library," which reads as "Something Went Wrong" for me and other 18+ creators who tried to get to it)

On-platform video hosting

Built-in cross-creator recommendations

All on-platform "commerce" features (both digital and physical goods)

The ability to market ourselves by linking to Patreon from our social media and vice-versa (we're basically not allowed to do this or risk being banned)

Yeah, about that first and that last point. We're hidden from searches on the platform, and we can't link to our pages from social media or risk permanent suspension. We cannot grow in this fashion at all, and in fact 18+ creators are getting all the downsides of this switch (except maybe for the app fee, since you can't fucking find us to pledge on the app) with none of the benefits. Nothing they are doing here will help us grow, because they've kneecapped us already. Now they're going after our capacity to obtain a steady paycheck at the beginning of the month, too.

VIII. Patreon's iOS app is currently (as of August 18, 2024) in violation of Apple's guidelines for app ratings; staff did not state any intention to become compliant by raising the app's rating as needed to maintain their 18+ creator community.

The App Store guidelines on creator apps state that they must be rated equal to the highest rated creator content on their platform. In spite of hosting 18+ content, which requires a 17+ rating per Apple, Patreon is rated 12+ in the App Store. Increasing the rating to 17+ would cut out the entire market of wealthy teenagers with iPhones, and since everything else being done here is intended to please Apple, it's unlikely this will be the point that Patreon finally gives an inch for its creators. The exact response from staff on this was "We hear and acknowledge your inputs on the app rating and are exploring our options there." Their "options" on this are to increase the rating, or to remove all 18+ content from the platform. That's it. Those are their options. Why do those need exploring, if they really give a shit about the 18+ community?

I know a lot of people out there are going to say that it would be nice if Patreon would "get rid of the porn," but you need to understand something: 18+ content is not all sexual.

18+ content can and does also include:

Horror (particularly body horror, which is explicitly or implicitly banned on all current adult-specific creator platforms, leaving me nowhere to go when Patreon kicks me)

True crime (murder, violence, theft, etc., is all 18+)

Health (blood/discussion of blood is 18+ regardless of context)

Education (what if you learn about war? that's 18+)

Trauma recovery (the word "r#pe" makes everything around it 18+)

Profanity (ko-fi marks creators 18+ for saying "fuck")

Languages (because you might learn profanity)

Weaponsmithing (because weapons are dangerous)

Leatherworking (because leather can be a fetish)

Shoemaking (feet can also be a fetish)

...even more I'm not bothering to list here.

Implying that they somehow didn't know about this extremely important part of the guidelines—which are being used as an excuse to force the top earner on the platform to ruin his entire business model—is absolute nonsense. Patreon knows about this requirement, they haven't taken any steps to comply based on their current creator population, and I will be shocked if they do. Much easier to just kick us all off, since we can barely use the damn platform as it is.

—

The entire thing makes no sense. Patreon is losing out on so much money by doing this—they're crippling all their highest-earning creators to keep the iOS app running, and it's going to hurt everyone except for Apple. The only reason I can think that they would refuse to budge on this is that there's something else going on behind the scenes between Patreon and Apple. That, or the company is intentionally throwing itself into an extremely drawn out death spiral. But we all know which of those is the more likely scenario here.

[climb10]

Why you should be mutuals with me, a new hermitcraft blog:

-i watch a lot of hermits, so i’ll be down to be excited with u about random moments in streams and episodes

-i am busy, so u will either get many posts in one day or none

-i am a grown up with very important grown up opinions, such as that Keralis’s horse sales and insurance coverage policies should be included in the lore text on the all mobs permit, as with bucket mobs

-i do not have time to start or participate in drama, unless it is the drama of bdubs spam clicking his bed every sundown

-Scar is my favorite hermit, but so is Gem, Bdubs, and Etho and also Joel and Pearl and

-i will leave hearts on your fanart, even if you are newer to drawing and it has uncanny valley energy, because i also struggle with proportions and it doesn’t matter how proficient you are, i will genuinely enjoy it and be glad that you are making something you love and that you are practicing your skills

-i am a teacher so i am professionally good at hyping people up (this could be u?)

-i have been in therapy for almost a year, and i communicate mindfully and carefully through conflict (once, my therapist said “I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body,” which is not true, but still nice)

-i have watched on and off since 2017, but i need someone to explain the fandom discourse. why does grian have little wings on his head all the time?

-i do know proper punctuation; i am just using this style of grammar to signal that i am non-threatening. not as a manipulation tactic, but because i am not a threat, and i prefer to be extremely upfront about that

-i will not try to out-fan you; i will just be excited to talk about hermitcraft with you

-i will never be upset if you over-explain something because i do that too

-i am very non-toxic positivity; this is not a space i use to complain

-i reblog, like, everything

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 12/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016

2017 – Bradley

                For the first time in his life he has a carrier squeeze. He and Seresin have been finding all sorts of hidden spaces to get each other off. They've traded so many hand jobs and blow jobs over the last six months Bradley feels he knows Seresin’s body almost as well as he knows his own. They haven't done much more though, the time restraint and lack of something larger than a rack doesn't make it possible. Except for those ten days after they’d bumped into each other at Sink and Drink when they’d definitely made the most of every flat surface in both their base accommodations before beginning their deployment together.

                It’s different from previous deployments, with them definitely friendlier toward one another, although he’d still hesitate to call them friends. Seresin is a closed book, resisting all his attempts at conversation that don’t directly relate to sex. He’s asked about his family, knows he has a sister at least, caught him on the phone talking to her and organizing to go on holiday with her and her kids after their current deployment ends.

                He’s still chatting with Jas, but he seems busier, or pissed off. He can’t blame him if he is pissed off; Bradley hasn’t exactly apologize for simply failing to turn up, gave no explanation, just… left him hanging. He’s not even sure why he did it, he’d just seen Seresin and… made the wrong decision. He doesn’t understand why Seresin just seems to make all good sense just fly out the window, even his normal good humor and even-keel temperament faulters when he’s around. He needs to be less hasty and more careful.

                He hasn’t had sex with anyone but Seresin in nearly eighteen months. He sure as hell won’t be sharing that fact with Seresin; it’s not like Hangman is expecting anything other than sex, or expressed an interest in anything more. However the fact he’s only been having sex with one guy for the last year and a bit feels like a betrayal, after their conversation about pursuing something if it came up but being upfront about it. He doesn’t know if he wants anything more with Seresin, it’s a bit of a mindfuck when he doesn’t even know if he likes Seresin most of the time, the guy too prickly and defensive by half.

                But that, coupled with the fact that he hasn’t shared this information with Jas makes him uneasy; feels like he’s cheating on him. Describing the different ways he has and wants to fuck Seresin are not the casual hook-ups he’s used to describing. They’ve morphed into fantasies which he’s now sharing. He tries to rationalize it, and in all fairness it’s not very often him and Jas are getting each other off anymore, their chats either completely superficial or weirdly specific and deep, sharing childhood memories of when they last felt completely carefree, or moments of pure joy.

                His feeling of unease increases as the end of their deployment approaches, because Jas has made no mention of trying to meet up again and Bradley is pretty sure that it’s his fault.

…            …            …

                “Nat, I think I fucked up.”

                “You think, or you know?”

                “I know…”

                “Oh god, what did you do?”

                “Hangman.”

                “Hangman?”

                “I know! Look, I know okay? He’s just…” Bradey scratches the back of his neck. Seresin is hot, but that’s not all he wants. “He’s hot, and I want…”

                “What about your boy?”

                “Yeah. That’s where I’ve fucked up.”

                “Bradley… what did you do?”

                He pulls a face.

                “I kind of stood him up?”

                “What?”

                So he fills her in, their plan to finally meet up at Sink and Drink, where he’d worn one of his brightest shirts but then taken it off, carefully folded and hidden under his jacket when he’d seen Seresin. The memory of Seresin’s body coming to life under his fingers, like he was a desert and Bradley was the rain, so responsive to every little touch. He leaves out the salient details but he’s pretty sure Natasha can gather where his mind goes from the look on his face.

                “You stood up the guy you’ve been… having a relationship with online for a decade… to hook up with Hangman?”

                “Yeah.”

                “And he’s still talking to you?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Wow. Okay. You are…. I love you. Okay? Please keep that in the back of your mind as I say these next words. You’re my best friend. But what you’re doing, even unintentionally, is really fucked up. And hurtful.”

                “Yeah, I get that.”

                “No. Bradley. I don’t think you do. You’re being a massive dick. If a guy was treating me like this, what would you do?”

                Bradley opens his mouth and then shuts it abruptly.

                “Oh… Oh fuck.”

                “Yeah. Look yourself in the mirror. You aren’t being fair to either of them and you need to not be a dick about it.”

                “I’m being a dick to both of them.”

                “Yeah. Even Hangman deserves better than that…”

                “It’s not anything but sex with him.”

                “Does he know that?”

                “Well, every time I try and have a conversation that isn’t about sex he shuts me down or kicks me out. Or both. He’s a fucking Fort Knox with his personal life.”

                “Yeah, like you’re a walk in the park.” Bradley sighs, because she has a good point. “I mean, putting aside the fact that you’re maybe a complete idiot. Maybe this is your own way of sabotaging yourself? I mean… Leaving him before he can leave you. You've got commitment issues and you haven't even met the guy.”

                “No I don't!”

                “Bradley you've used this guy as an excuse to not pursue a relationship with anyone you've met for years. Then as soon as you finally get to meet him you bailed. You've got commitment issues.”

                “Not with my friends I don't.”

                “No. But we can’t break your heart and leave you.”

                “You could,” Bradley argues, stubborn.

                “Don’t tempt me. You need to come clean. They both deserve it.”

                “I don’t want to lose him.”

                “Yeah well, that’s not your decision to make. What’s that saying about setting something free?”

                “Yeah. Fuck.”

                He has a feeling this isn’t going to end well.

…            …            …

                He thinks he might throw up, his nerves unable to settle as he lies on the sofa and just stares at his phone, thumbs open the Grindr app before closing it again. He doesn’t know how to say what he wants to say. He needs to apologize. Doesn’t want to explain that he passed Jas over for sex with another guy, except it’s the truth and god it’s going to hurt him and Bradley hates himself, but is pretty sure he’ll hate himself more if he doesn’t lay it all out. He never wanted to hurt Jas.

>>Jas? You around? I need to talk to you about something.

                Once he sends those words there is no retracting them and he takes in some slow deep breaths. He’s trying to remember what they talked about all those years ago, he remembers telling him to give a guy a shot if he came along. But he doesn’t think Jas returned the sentiment exactly. He can’t remember. Shit. Now he feels even worse.

>>Yep.

>>I need to tell you something. I’ve realized something and I’ve been a dick and one of my friends pretty much threatened to gut me…

>>???

>>When we were meant to meet up I bumped into a guy. I ended up ditching you to have sex with him instead.

>>Wow.

>>Your friend is right. That is a dick move.

>>I was a sure thing.

>>And you told me something came up.

>>Fuck you.

>>I’m sorry.

>>I should have been upfront with you.

>>Why are you telling me now?

>>What’s the point?

>>Oh my god.

>>You’re breaking up with me.

>>I don’t know. Am I?

>>Don’t play fucking dumb.

>>You stood me up.

>>Have barely talked to me for the last few months.

>>Sounds like you’ve been in a relationship with a guy all that time.

>>Does he know about me?

>>No.

>>Of course he doesn’t.

>>Are you going to tell him?

>>Yeah. I have to.

>>Jas?

>>You must like him a lot. To be honest with him.

                Shit shit shit. He doesn’t though. He can’t untangle how he feels about Seresin to decide if he likes him or not. Is pretty certain that Seresin is going to laugh in his face if he tries to ask him anything other than if he’s down to fuck.

>>No. I don’t know.

>>I might like him, but I love you.

>>I’m being honest with you.

>>That’s not enough though is it?

>>Not if you can only be honest with me months after the fact and still just fuck off to go and be with another guy.

>>One who you want to be with.

>>More than you want to be with me.

>>Obviously.

>>I’m so sorry.

>>I never meant to hurt you.

>>Tell me what I can do to make this right.

>>Jas?

>>Please talk to me.

**This user is no longer available. They may have deleted the app or blocked you.**

                He doesn’t know which one is worse to consider, feels like he needs to either throw up or get drunk. Or get so drunk he starts throwing up.

                He can start on that as soon as he finishes crying.

…            …            …

                When he looks at his phone again the words stare back at him, and he has to suck in another sharp watery breath to hold back more tears. There’s a missed call and when he thumbs through to it, he sees Ice has tried to call him and he feels frozen for a second, decides not to borrow more worry before he finds why Ice is ringing him. He presses on call and sniffs to clear his nose and cough to clear his throat. He can do this and sound normal.

                “Hey Ice, I missed a call from you?”

                “Bradley. Uh. Thanks for calling me back. I wanted to ring and tell you this before you heard it on the grapevine.”

                “What?”

                “I’ve got cancer.”

                He’s glad he’s already sitting down, that he’s already planning on getting absolutely mind-numbingly drunk. God he’s glad he has eight weeks in which to make an absolute enemy of his kidney.

                “How bad? Where?”

                “Esophagus. All that smoking you told me would kill me one day…”

                Just like that he’s crying again, the tears silent this time, emotions all too close to the surface, the memory of his mom, and his anger at Maverick and his older mixed-up emotions of not really understanding why his dad was never coming home and Natasha probably has a lot to say about all this.

                “Are you… what have they told you?”

                “I need an operation. Followed by radiation. There’s a whole treatment plan.”

                “Of course there is,” Bradley says, sniffing, because there had been one for his mom too.

                “Do you think you could come and stay? I know Sarah and the kids would like to see you.”

                Like he can deny Ice anything right now.

                “Yeah, of course. I’ll book a flight. Let you know the details.”

                “Good. Thank you. I’d like to see you too.” …            …            …

                He doesn’t get anywhere near to as drunk as he’d like, not with a flight now booked to California tomorrow. It’s probably a good thing he’ll be staying with Ice and not bombarding his kidneys or wallowing in his own self-pity when all the mistakes he’s made are his own. He just has one more thing he needs to do. He knocks on the door of Hangman’s temporary base accommodation and steels himself for what he’s hoping will be the least

                “Hey Hangman.”

                “Rooster. Making house calls now?”

                “You ever fucked someone?”

                “Uh. Yeah.”

                “Good. I want you to put your back into it. Make me forget. And ensure I remember you.”

                The sound Hangman makes is amusing and Bradley’s lips twitch, but he feels shattered inside, everything minced up and raw and bleeding.

                “Don’t take this the wrong way, don’t want you thinking I actually care about you, but what the fuck?”

                And there’s definite proof that Hangman definitely doesn’t care, actually saying it outright rather than just speaking volumes with his facial expressions and eye rolls.

                “I ruined the best relationship in my life and just found out my uncle has cancer. Just… will you fuck me?” Bradley asks, because that’s what he feels like he needs right now, wants to be held down, held together, forced to think about something that isn’t hurting Jas, isn’t Ice fighting cancer, isn’t his fractured non-relationship with Maverick.

                Seresin isn’t gentle, his fingers hard but not quite bruising. Bradley wouldn’t mind if he did leave marks, feels like he deserves them. Seresin manhandles him and Bradley lets him push him down, only pushes back when it’s his fingers pressing in to stretch him open. His breath comes in harsh pants against the sheets as Seresin slides into him, hands steady and soothing on his hips. Then he’s fucking him, the pace fast, feels fingers curling in his hair and pulling, nails scraping down his side, none of it gentle, none of it forgiving at all and he won’t cry or break no matter how much he wants to.

                When he does come there are tears squeezing their way out of the corner of his eyes, but he can pass them off as sweat, his body feeling well-worked over, languid and warm. Even if his inner-turmoil hasn’t settled his body feels a little less like it’s going to vibrate out in every direction. He’s buttoning up his shirt and getting ready to leave. He’s never stayed after they’ve hooked up and isn’t about to start now. He’s not sure what Natasha thinks he meant to say or ask, what she seriously thinks the outcome will be. But he needs to ask so he can honestly tell her what Hangman says in reply.

                “Would you ever be interested in something more than hooking up?”

                “Uh,” Seresin stalls, but he looks a combination of horrified and shocked, like the idea of being with Bradley for anything other than sex is inconceivable.

                “Yeah,” Bradley says, lets out a long sigh. “Didn’t think so. Probably just as well. Not like I’m exactly emotionally available anyway. I keep fucking things up.”

…            …            …

                It’s automatic the next morning, the photo of his morning coffee sent via SnapChat. He’s already got it open and thumb hovering over the send when he realizes that while Jas has maybe blocked him or deleted Grindr completely, Jas hasn’t done anything on SnapChat to block him. He adds I’m sorry, I love you to the image and sends it through and hopes.

…            … ��          …

                “You look worse than I feel…” Ice says when he opens the door and Bradley pulls a face.

                “Yeah. I’m not great,” he admits, and then he’s being enveloped in Ice’s arms and he feels cast back twenty years to when his mom died and he clings and cries and feels like he’s come home.

2018 - Jake

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [41]

chapter forty-one, act five: the ballad of me and my brain

masterlist

August 12th 2017

Phoebe stands awkwardly at the door to Tommie’s bedroom, and she raises a brow as she steps from side to side. “Hey.”

Phoebe nods and Tommie laughs as she pushes Button to shift closer into her side, then she taps the spot beside her in bed.

The American singer hesitates before finally settling there and pursing her lips.

“Everything alright?”

“Um yeah, I just-” Phoebe sighs and just finally decides to come clean, “Remember that song you wrote a few months back? The one you showed me?”

She raises a brow, she’s shown Phoebe a lot of songs. “Which one?”

“The one you said you were gonna keep for the band. The one you wrote for me?”

Tommie nods with a hum and turns to Phoebe to give her more attention.

Phoebe and Tommie have become very close since meeting two years ago. They’d become sisters, and Tommie knows that in the past few months if Phoebe wasn’t in her life she wouldn’t have survived.

From giving her a place to say to holding her hand as she left the clinic after her abortion. Phoebe has been there for everything, more than anyone in the band, more than any of her family.

Tommie’s never been good with her words, with speaking them, she struggles to put her emotions into words for people to understand. So she wrote Phoebe a song, which happened to be in her beloved lost notebook.

“Yeah, but I lost my book, so if you wanted to use it-”

“No, it’s that, um…”

Phoebe sighs, she hates beating around the bush, especially with Tommie who she knows would prefer her to be upfront and honest. 

“Dirty Delights released their first single with Scooter Braun today and it’s that song.”

“What?”

Phoebe winces at the loud volume of her screech as she stands from the bed. Button’s head is tilting as she stares up at her.

“It was released this morning. And if it makes you feel better it’s shit.”

She scrambles for her abandoned laptop which is open as she was watching Barnyard (Button likes the little mouse on it and she loves Biggie Cheese).

She’s on spotify, searching Dirty Delights. The band image has her cringing, they look like a My Chemical Romance Tribute act, with caps not fully on their heads and their boxers sticking out of their baggy jeans.

She clicks on the song, its title different from the one she had chosen in her book. ‘You are Mine’.

“You are Mine?” She scoffs, “It makes it sound possessive, that’s not the point. The point is that I love my best mate and you’re my best mate.”

Phoebe’s hand rubs her back lightly as she hovers the mouse over the play button.

You are mine, I've been drowning in you You fracture light again Beautiful, please don't cry, don’t cry When you leave, I cry on the inside

I wake up, love you, so I love you, so I love you, love you, love you Then when you leave, I cry I wake up, love you, love you, love you, love you Then when you leave, I cry

We're supposed to leave by half-past eight You wait a while, for me to come home, again Tired again, I've been dying to meet you You fracture light again (ooh)

I love you, oh, I love you When you leave, I cry on the inside Oh, so I love you, so I love you, so love you, love you, love you, love you Cry Oh, I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you We're supposed to leave by half-past eight

“He changed the lyrics, it sounds fucking shite!”

Phoebe nods, “And the guitar solo is shocking, how’d Braun give way to that?”

Tommie groans and falls face first into the bed, Button’s nose nudging her cheek gently.

“Surely you can do something? Release it as your own.”

Tommie groans again, even louder, “I’ll have to call Jamie.”

Phoebe nods, “I’m sure he can get some good lawyers involved, have them take it down.”

“Not the point, I don’t want to talk to him, he’ll ask me if I’m ready to come back. Then try to convince me to talk to Matty then he’ll pass the phone to Adam ‘cause I’ve been avoiding him and- it’ll be a mess.”

“I’ll call him, pretend you don’t know yet and I’ve let him know first, it will give you at least a day or two to prepare yourself.”

She shifts on the bed to wrap her arms and legs around Phoebe like some kind of red headed koala. “Fanks yew.” Her words are muffled in Phoebe’s hoodie and the singer pats the back of her head. 

“I’ll call him now, let him know.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ

August 16th 2017

“Seriously?”

Tommie does what can only be described as a screech as she throws her phone across the room. Luckily it lands on the arm chair opposite.

Button trots over and sits patiently with her cow teddy in her mouth, waiting for Tommie to roll over and give her attention.

But before she receives a pat on the head there’s a knock on the door and Button whines.

Tommie passes her hand over Button’s head as she gets up, quickly complaining about Phoebe forgetting her keys again.

“Pheebs-”

“Are you okay?”

Adam’s there, stepping in when she opens the door and turning to look at her with that brotherly concern on his face.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on tour.”

“We finished the tour ages ago, we’re all back home now. The moment Jamie told me what happened I flew out to see you.”

“I’m fine, Ads, Jamie’s sorting it.”

“Why didn’t you call? Or-or text, I would’ve come.”

“I know you would’ve, Ads, that’s why I didn’t call.”

She sighs and sits back on the sofa rubbing her hands down her face, “Have you talked to him? Called him and asked him to give credits?”

“He’s blocked me.” She scoffs, “If I just kept my mouth shut, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“What? Keep your mouth shut about what?”

“I-” She pauses and looks up as he sits on the arm of the sofa beside her, hand rubbing between her shoulder blades. She shakes her head, “We argued and I just- said a bunch of dickish stuff.”

She leans into his side and he wraps his arm over her shoulder, “Why don’t you come home? If you don’t want to be alone you can stay with me and Carly until tour kicks off again.”

She shakes her head, “Phoebe’s album is two months away, Ads. I promised I’d be here with her.”

Adam shrugs, “I’m sure she’ll understand-”

“No, I’m not abandoning her at one of her most important moments. This is her first album, her debut, she’s my best mate-”

“I used to be your best mate.”

She pauses and looks at the soft look on his face, “Ross, G…” He opens his mouth but cuts himself off. They both know the final name he was going to say.

“I haven’t talked to any of you in weeks.”

“And who’s fault is that?”

He doesn’t have that motherly look on his face that she turns to when she’s scared. His eyes are staring right into her soul, and his lips are set in a straight line, no curve, no wrinkles. 

He sighs and gives in within no time, he always gives in when it comes to Tommie. “I worry, To-”

“Yeah, well I’m fine alone. You should stop worrying.”

Adam’s brows raise as he looks at her, “What’s wrong with you?”

“You- you and your need to be- be breathing down my neck constantly.”

Adam keeps his face straight, trying not to show her outburst is getting to him, “You treat me like a kid, Ads. Always trying to protect me, but I’m not- I’m not a kid-”

“I know, Tom.”

“Then treat me like an adult, stop-”

“What’s this about?”

She pauses to shake her head at him, “What?”

“This little thing you’re trying to do. This speech. What’s it about?”

“I want to be respected.”

“You are.”

“No, I’m not, and I’m tired of it.”

She stands and moves away, “I’m taking care of everything, Ads,” She grabs her phone and checks for damage again, “You don’t need to worry.”

Adam’s brows furrow, “Just because you’re not a part of the band anymore doesn’t mean we don’t love you.”

She purses her lips and looks away, “I’m not stupid, Tommie. I know what you’re trying to do. It didn’t work when we were kids and it definitely won’t work now.”

She shrugs, “I don’t know what you mean, Adam.”

“Trying to push everyone away. Trying to have this detox of people in your life. Make sure you cut out the right ones, not the ones who care about you.”

He grabs his discarded wallet and phone from the kitchen counter as he starts his way out, but he pauses just before he gets to the door. “This isn’t me walking out, this is me giving you space. If you call, I’ll pick up. If you need me, I’ll be there.”

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro, @beatr2x, @byyourside28

-let me know if you want to be added :)

[mysterywheeze]

what a weekend, huh

I've refrained from using this blog to share my thoughts on the [gestures vaguely] situation for- well, for a few reasons. For one, I haven't been directly involved in the fandom for a while for personal reasons (I will reiterate that I am Mostly Fine). For two, until today we didn't have an official update on the matter. And for three, there's been A LOT of vitriol within the fanbase, so saying anything felt like stepping into a minefield.

Point three still stands. But what the hell? I've thrown my thoughts into worse rings.

My opinions on the whole fiasco can be summed up in four points.

ONE: Their initial plan was bad, and the way they announced it was even worse.

I don't think I have to explain why cutting off a large number of low-income and international fans is a shitty thing to do. That the initial treatment of Patreon fans was poor is, I think, similarly self-evident. And not just because we weren't initially given free access to the streaming platform; the abrupt cancellation of WW+ and early access screwed a lot of annual-membership patrons over.

We now have confirmation that Watcher needed a new revenue stream to stay operational, and that the team viewed this change as essentially a last resort to avoid layoffs or worse. We did not get this information in the "Goodbye YouTube" video. The Watcher team could have been upfront from the beginning, but they decided not to be. Instead they hyped up the announcement, even had a countdown, leading us to think that this was a sign of something good, when in reality it was a sign of something dire.

I hope we can all agree that more initial transparency would have significantly improved the audience reaction to the announcement.

TWO: The update/apology video was a good one.

They addressed why they made their decision, admitted to their fuck-up, and changed their plan. That's Owning Up To Your Mistakes 101. What we got was a compromise; they aren't scrapping the streaming service altogether, but they aren't abandoning fans who can't afford it altogether, either. And of course, they've told us that the streaming service is necessary for the survival of the company. Better late than never.

There's still a lot that they need to do before they can fully gain my trust. And I say gain, not regain, because this isn't the first time they've had a business fumble (NOTE: this is not about the HWYD incident). From Patreon rewards coming months late to factual errors in their educational shows, to what I strongly suspect is mismanagement of funds leading to their current financial troubles, they've always had flaws that ought to be addressed.

But it's a start. A good start at that.

THREE: Some fans reacted to the announcement (and to a lesser extent, to the update) in deeply inappropriate ways.

Look, I don't think you have to ~deeply adore~ Steven Lim to be a Watcher fan. I'll admit that, as a diehard Unsolved fan since 2017 who rarely watched Worth It before 2020, Steven's shows appealed to me less than Ryan and Shane's content did. The average viewcounts of Steven's shows compared to Ryan-n-Shane's shows indicates that my preferences are pretty common.

That being said, as someone who isn't particularly enthused about Steven content, I can appreciate the things he's done for Watcher and as a human being. He's always been the guy pushing hardest for Asian-American representation, as Grocery Run, Hidden Narratives, and especially his response to the 2021 tragedy in Atlanta, made very clear.

From years ago to just last week, he's said some poorly-worded and even insensitive things. He's a human. We're prone to doing that.

If you think that it's okay to insult him on a personal level over this weekend's fiasco, to drag up an old mistake he already publicly apologized for, or to make unfounded accusations about his moral character, you are solely mistaken and have some serious maturing to do. If you actually partook in any of those activities, I sincerely hope that you regret your actions and avoid repeating them. And if you're one of those people STILL trying to pin all the blame on Steven, or even calling for his resignation(?!?)... I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you become a kinder person soon.

This also goes for people who started getting personal with the other members of Team Watcher, or with their friends or loved ones outside the company. So what if Sara had an imperfect take? She's not responsible for Watcher's bad decision, and we shouldn't be dragging her into the discourse just because she's married to a guy who did a fuck-up.

And yeah, Shane did a fuck-up. It ain't cute to act like he's an innocent anti-capitalist baby being dragged into this mess by Steven. Same goes for people saying Ryan didn't play a part in this, but over the past few days I've seen way more support for Shane among conspiratorial fans than for Ryan. I'm not going to act like racial bias is the only factor at play here, clearly it's more complex than that, but making up conspiracies to protect your white fave while scapegoating the outspoken-against-racism Asian guy... it's not a good look. You have to realize that and evaluate your biases.

FOUR: The backlash to the backlash has become excessive and unhelpful.

I get it. When people are being dicks online, it's natural to speak out against it. And boy howdy, were some people being dicks this weekend. Emphasis on the some.

Yes, there's been a lot of mean-spirited, unconstructive hate sent Watcher's way over the past few days. There's also been an incredibly large volume of constructive criticism from all corners of the fandom. Some of it's been discussed between fans, some of it's been shared directly with Team Watcher. It doesn't stick in your mind as strongly as blatant hate does, but I can assure you, it's there.

And in the effort to defend Watcher against that hate, a lot of you have made it really hard for good-faith criticism to be heard.

Seriously, every time I see someone on the Wiscord politely criticize one of Watcher's decisions, they're immediately shut down by a fellow fan. Same thing happened to me in an unofficial fan server earlier today. My good-faith critique wasn't as important as the fact that some asshole could hypothetically make a similar argument in bad faith. Any attempt at a calm, reasoned discussion of Watcher's issues as a company gets drowned out with blind positivity.

Let me make my stance crystal clear: people are allowed to be upset about things that they aren't being forced at gunpoint to pay for. That's like, the the basis of media criticism. "You don't HAVE to pay for it so you shouldn't complain about it" is not an argument that should be taken seriously here on Al Gore's internet.

There's also been a lot of disingenuous use of the "don't you believe artists should get paid?" argument, because yes I do, and yes they have been getting paid. By thousands of people at once - far more supporters than most working artists receive in a lifetime. I personally have been supporting them financially since January of 2020, literally since day one. Watcher's situation evidently isn't ideal, but as far as independent creators go they're pretty darn privileged to have the following they have.

And if you think that Team Watcher has actually totally been doing the right thing all along, then you're wrong. The guys at Watcher themselves admitted that. If they really are the bastions of honesty you're convinced they are, you'll accept that. Above all, the changes they announced today are not proof that "the bullies won". If the bullies won, there would be no streaming service. What happened was a compromise, and the assholes in this fandom didn't want a compromise.

Look, I know you guys. I remember the old days, when we weren't afraid to provide feedback to Watcher when they fucked up, and over much smaller fumbles than this recent one. I know we've all put a lot of money and time into this company and the people behind it. The sunk-cost fallacy is a very powerful thing. But please don't let your hatred for bullies and love for the boys completely blind you to valid criticism. You can't entirely shield them from growing pains if what you want for them is real growth.

FIVE: This isn't a real point in the list I just had to separate my closing thoughts from the rest of the essay I accidentally wrote. Whoops.

The other day, I saw somebody (can't recall their handle, sorry) describe some fan reactions to Friday's announcement as "post-divorce honesty". It's far from the only comparison to a breakup I've seen. That phrase has been ringing in my head for a while now. Because this situation has made a lot of people reevaluate what they like about Watcher, why they became a fan in the first place, and if it's worth sticking around.

Watcher made a mistake. One that they could walk back but can't undo. Their reputation is never going to be the same as it was before. Likewise, a lot of fans said things that can't be taken back, and now that's tied to their reputation in our community. I can't blame anyone for feeling uneasy right now.

Hm. When I started writing this, I had an actual ending in mind. I don't know where that went.

Maybe that's the note I end this massive ramble on? Watcher's future is uncertain, the community's future is uncertain, so I'm uncertain about the last part of this post...? Agh. There's a reason why I'm more of a fiction writer than an essayist. It's getting late, I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and my browser's beginning to slow down from the sheer weight of my draft being open for so long.

Just... try to take it easy on each other, okay? It's been a hell of a week, and we haven't even finished Monday yet.

[meruz]

hello! i'm a big fan of your work! i noticed youre a risd alumnus, and i just wanted to ask: as someone currently working in the animation industry, how was your experience with risd? i'm having to choose between risd and a school that's popular specifically for animation, and was wondering if you might have any info that could help.

thank you, i hope this ask isn't any bother!

ooh I actually love this question because theres SO MUCH I wish I knew about the RISD animation program ahead of time and I'd love to give people a better idea than the one I had going in LOL. disclaimer that because I went a while ago (a whole class of college students have come and gone since I've graduated!) some of this info may be outdated. also this is purely my personal experience. BUT hopefully it helps

I want to say upfront that I loved my experience at RISD. I attended from the years 2013-2017. Like all private art colleges it was way too expensive (worth noting I had a significant need-based scholarship) but I worked my ass off and I learned a lot about art and I made friends there that I wouldn't trade for the world. As far as an art school experience goes I would tentatively say it was "worth it". However, I went in as a freshman hoping to major in animation and I came out with a BFA in illustration and this is a large part of why: RISD doesn’t have a good animation program for those looking to go into commercial animation. And I don’t think this is a grand statement like I think most of my fellow alum and teachers would agree. The thing is it’s kind of intentional LOL?? And the keyword here of course is “commercial”. Culturally, RISD is kind of a fine arts school first and I wouldn’t say they’re hostile towards industry work but it’s more often treated as secondary or like something unfortunate/dirty you have to do to make money so you can focus more on your “true art”. I have a tweet about this that went semi-viral a while ago actually…

I’m not gonna say everyone at RISD thinks this but it’s pretty prevalent. I'm honestly not outside the opinion lol. You can call it integrity or pretentiousness or whatever but without going into whether this is good or bad it really orients the curriculum and priorities of the school. It’s hearsay so take it with a grain of salt but I’ve heard that on occasions where RISD has been offered opportunities or partnerships to make the school into a pipeline for big studios (like making work specifically to cater to those places and funnel students through the door right after school) they’ve always stuck to their guns and said no to preserve their independence. 

The animation program at RISD is actually called FAV (sometimes stylized as F/A/V) for Film Animation Video and is… as one would guess..a mishmash of animation, film, and experimental video. Multimedia, experimental work is highly encouraged and overall the work and structure is a lot more geared towards submitting independent short films to film and animation festivals than it is towards building a portfolio to secure industry or client work. I didn’t major in FAV but I was on the FAV thesis track for about 3 years and I’d say the amount of help I had making an animation industry portfolio from my experience with FAV classes is close to none. At least for the thesis program we were never required or even asked to do anything such as design character turnarounds, bg designs or paint, even storyboards. And to be fair a lot of that pre-prod work that fills industry portfolios is a necessity of large commercial crews that need to coordinate over disparate departments and studios, not so much for independent single-animator projects. 

But as a result, a lot of RISD students with ambitions to go into animation/video games/ entertainment industry art in general actually major in illustration. Myself included. It’s not a perfect 1:1 match and even within the department there’s conflict as to whether there should be more of a focus on traditional editorial illustration or otherwise but it’s one of the broadest majors at RISD because past sophomore year it’s 100% electives and there’s more classes oriented towards technical drawing and painting skill, concept, story, and communication for client work in a very all of which funnel rather neatly into commercial animation. It’s also a good route for exploring your options like if you’re stuck between wanting to do children’s books, TCG paintings, and comic books you can explore all those at more or less the same time. The downside to this is that in order to get what you want you really have to build your own curriculum. I definitely think it rewards the proactive.

So while nothing at RISD got me to build an animation portfolio I took a lot of classes that I think were fundamental to developing those skills. Ie I did actually take a storyboarding elective, painting classes that focused on color, illustration concepts classes that formed critical thinking and seeing, a sculpting class that trained anatomy and 3d construction skills, Barbara Meier teaches a 3D animation class at Brown that RISD students can cross-enroll at that’s pretty good? None of these are substitutes for a holistic animation curriculum but I think the education I did get was a lot broader and just as personally fulfilling. At the end of the day, I'm glad I wasn't so focused on animation that I was still able to explore illustration, comics, painting and sculpture. I led a student club that coordinated Brown and RISD students to work together and make video games every semester! I take the skills I picked up from these things into my animation career all the time.

Also the nice thing about animation jobs in the U.S. is that you don’t actually need to have animated a whole kickass industry-standard short film to be hireable. The pipeline is so compartmentalized and jobs so specialized that bg designers really just need to be good at environmental perspective and linework, and bg painters don’t even need to worry about that they can just be good at color and light. And almost no one at least in the U.S. animation industry actually needs to know how to animate LOL. Am I being reductive? Am I downing a heavy dose of copium for going to the school that I did? Who knows. Midway through my freshman year I was seriously considering transferring to a school with a better animation curriculum but I never completed those applications because I took a class during the winter semester called Science-Fiction Fantasy Illustration and midway between designing shitty aliens and my new best friends falling asleep on me during a 2001 Space Odyssey screening I was like. This isn’t so bad. Anyways, it turned out ok, we all have jobs now. 

All that aside, Providence is a beautiful little city. There’s an arts and alternative culture there that feels completely different from those in places like NYC and LA. Chris Van Allsburg the writer/illustrator of Jumanji and The Polar Express was a RISD illustration alum and he based a lot of the imagery of Santa's Village off of Providence. This drawing I did is literally a view from Benefit st that I would walk from my off-campus housing to campus everyday:

There’s a lot of stuff that goes into whether a school, or any school, is the right fit for you. Sorry for rambling but I tried to answer this quick because ik college decisions can be time sensitive. Good luck with your decision making!

[mybrainproblems]

Text ID: Screenshot of anonymous comment from LiveJournal. Comment thread title "Re: Re: Jensen tweets 5/18." Timestamp is May 18 2017, 20:10:37 UTC

["different anon"] *roll eyes* 6 months after SPN finally goes off the air NOBODY is going to remember that shit Destiel ship and it's shippers have moved on to make another fandom miserable. Misha will fuck off to god knows where and never be heard of again, he won't even show up in the "where are they now?" articles because nobody's going to care.

End text ID

source

🗓️🤔

I just find this to be super funny. It's spn... was anything ever going to die or stay dead? As tho the entire fandom isn't still talking about the show and our ships and blorbos 3+ years after the finale :')

Chuck bless us, every one.

for context: the thread title is totally irrelevant to the comment which is five levels deep into the thread. tweet is to this insta pic from the s12 upfronts

don't shit on non-destiel fans on this post kthxbai

[avalil18]

(Series) Just like the Movies

Summary: you and Joe go out on your date and it ends up being the most amazing night.

Warnings: fluff (some smut)

—————————-

September 12 2017

Y/n pov

I was getting ready I’m my bathroom for my date with Joe. I was so nervous. I kept shaking when trying to put my makeup on. But I reminded myself that it’s Joe. The one you talked to for hours and the one you feel safe with. Joe and I have been texting nonstop for the past few days. It’s been really nice. He always makes me laugh and always knows how to put a big smile on my face.

I am wearing a black skirt but not too short obviously, a white shirt, boots, and an old leather jacket. My hair was curled and my makeup was on point! After finishing my hair I got a text from Joe saying to meet him downstairs. I ran down the stairs as soon as I saw the text. The girls in my sorority were wishing me good luck as i ran down the big marble stairs. As I got out the door I saw Joe. He had a black OSU black leather jacket on with grey skinny jeans of course.

“Hey Joe!”-you

I walked down to him and gave him a hug

“Hi y/n! You look beautiful!”-joe

“Haha! Thank you! You don’t look to bad yourself!”-you

“Haha! Thanks!”-joe

Once we were done greeting each other Joe opened his car door for me. He had a very cool black jeep.

“Thank you!”-you

“Of course!”-joe

He closed the door and walked around to his side.

“So what do you want to listen to?”-joe

“Ooo! I can’t pick you choose!”-you

“Ok! I choose kid Cudi.”-joe

“A big Kid Cudi fan?”-you

“Yes! Ever since I was in middle school!”-joe

“Wow! That’s been a long time!”-you

“Yeah! I’ve always loved his music.”-joe

“That’s cool! I listen to him sometimes. I like his music!”-you

“Yeah! What do you listen to?”

“Well, I listen to Taylor Swift obviously and don’t be a hater she is actually a great singer! I also listen to drake, Tame Impala, and some Selena Gomez.”-you

“Haha! I’m not a hater trust me. But I don’t listen to her music a lot. And I love Tame Impala! I didn’t know you liked that!”-joe

“Yeah! Something about his music just makes me feel good!”-you

“Same!”-joe

Turns out me and Joe have some stuff in common. That’s a good sign! We talked for a bit more about music. By the time we were done talking we were at the theater.

“Here let me help you get out!”-joe

He came around to my side,Opened the door for me and put out his hand. Such a gentleman!

“Thank you Joey!”-you

“Of course! And I don’t think I’ve ever been called Joey before by anyone else rather than my mom!”-joe

“Oh! I don’t have to call you that if you don’t want me to.”-you

“No! I like it!”-joe

“Oh haha, ok!”-you

As we found our seats in the theater I got the candy out as Joe had his popcorn in hand. We were in a good row. Not to upfront.

“ So, you excited to see your favorite movie?”-you

“Yes! I’m also happy you are here to watch it with me!”-joe

“Aww! I’m happy I’m here to watch it with you to!”-you

Joe looks at me and I swear I got so many butterflies at that moment. His beautiful eyes staring into my soul. I smiled and turned my head back to the screen but I could still feel joes eyes on me.

After the movie started I found my hand brushing past joes a little too much. The movie was going good and I liked it but I couldn’t focus with joes hand brushing past mine. After a few more minutes I felt joes hand move closer to mine. I inched my had a little closer and BOOM! Fireworks just exploded! Mine and joes hand were locked together. Joe and I both smiled as we watched the movie on that moment. I couldn’t believe it! I was holding hands with Mr QB himself.

————-

Joes POV

I got into my car and drove to y/n’s house. I was so nervous. She is the only girl I ever have had strong feelings about and the only girl I ever talked to my parents about. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I knew I wanted to make her mine. But I get it takes time and I want to respect her and her choices to. I think it’s going pretty well so far because I’m taking her out on a date.

As I was driving thinking about seeing y/n I got a phone call from my mom.

“Hi mom!”-joe

“Hey hon!”-Robin

“So,are you nervous?”-robin

“A little bit. But I know it will be a perfect night! She makes me so happy and I’m honestly really excited to see her tonight.”-joe

“Awww Joe! It will be a great night! From the way I hear you talk about her I know she is an amazing girl and will make you happy. Just don’t mess up Joey!”-Robin

“I won’t mess up mom! I promise!”-joe

“Good! We’ll have fun sweetie! Not to much fun!”-robin

“MOM!”- joe

“Haha! I’m kidding! I love you and have a great night!”-Robin

“I will mom. Love you!”-joe

I ended the call and a few minutes later I was at y/n’s. She lives in a sorority so the house is pretty huge. I texted y/n that I was outside and before I knew it she was walking to my car looking so effortlessly beautiful.

“Hey Joe!”-Y/n

“Hi y/n! You look beautiful!”-joe

I opened the car door for her and went to my side of the car. As we were driving we were talking about music. She has a wide range of music taste I will say. But it fits her personality well. I feel like music kinda makes up who a person is. She listens to music that creates her personality. Funny, sweet, bubbly, kind, and happy. I like that!

Once in the theater y/n got some candy and I got some popcorn.

“ So, you excited to see your favorite movie?”-y/n

“Yes! I’m also happy you are here to watch it with me!”-joe

It’s true. I was so happy that y/n was here with me and out on this date.

I looked up at her and I swear so many butterflies swarmed my stomach. My god she is beautiful.

As we were watching the movie my hand kept  inching closer to hers and then our fingers locked and BOOM! Fireworks exploded!

———————

After the movie

Y/n POV

“That was awesome! Thank you for taking me to see it!”-you

“Of course! I’m glad you liked it!”-joe

We were walking back to the car still hand in hand. As we got in the car Joe turned back on the music and I laughed as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He turned to me and smiled then laughed.

“So, I was thinking only if you want we can go back to my place! Or I can bring you straight home.”-joe

I looked at him in shock! Did he just ask me to come to his place! Of course I didn’t really show I was in shock on my face but I juts smiled because I was also so excited!

“Yeah! We can go back to your place!”-you

“Cool! My friends aren’t home btw. They are at some weird all night weekend party thing.”-joe

“Haha ok, and what kind of party is that! They are going to be whipped on Monday!”-you

“I know! I told they it wasn’t a good idea but whatever.”-you

I knew some of his friends because some of my friends are friends with them. That’s kinda how I knew Joe.

“Here we are!”-joe

“Nice place you have here!”-you

“Thanks!”-joe

It was surprisingly clean once I walked through the door and took off my shoes.

“Do you want a drink?”-joe

“Sure! Soda please!”-you

“Coming up!”-joe

I was walking around admiring what they have. There was some family pictures and some pictures of Joe and his friends. There was a OSU banner and a leather couch. A lot of rooms and a narrow kitchen.

“Here you go!”-joe

“Thx!”-you

I took a sip and walked into the hallway.

“Is this your room?”-you

“Yeah! You can go in!”-joe

Joe followed me in.

“Wow burrow! Very clean!”-you

“Thanks! Got to keep it tidy!”-joe

I walked over to his desk where he had a picture of his family as he sat on his bed.

“Is this your family?”-you

“Yeah!”-joe

“Aww!”-you

Joe laughed and kept his eyes on me. I leaned against the desk and looked at him.

“So what do you want to do?”-you

“We could study!”-joe

“Haha! yeah right!”-you said sarcastically

Joe got up and was inches away from my face

“We could!”-joe

“Yeah, we could.”-you

You know how boys eyes smile before they kiss you? Well that’s what Joe was doing. His eyes looking into mine sparkling. And then before I knew it his lips were on mine. I kissed him back more passionately. We moved from leaning on the desk to the twin bed that surprisingly could fit two.

I fell onto the bed and Joe was on top of me smiling then leaning down for a kiss. He then moved to my neck and pulled off my shirt as I did the same to him. And before we knew it we were both nude.

“Are you good?”-joe

“Yeah!”-you

“You?”-you

“Perfect!”-joe

Joe was on top of me placing soft kisses on my neck. After a few minutes he rolled over to his side. We both breathed heavily. I looked over at him as he looked over at me and we both laughed so hard!

“Wow!”-you

“Yeah! Wow!”-joe

I moved my head onto his chest and placed my hand over his shoulder.

“What time is it?”-you

Joe rolled over to his nightstand with one of his arms still around me reaching for his phone.

“1:30am.”-joe

“Maybe I should get going.”-you

I moved my head off his chest and as I was about to pull the sheet off to get out Joe stopped me.

“Don’t go! Stay! It’s the weekend and my friends aren’t here and I bet your friends are out too and probably not expecting you back knowing them.” -Joe gave a smirk

“Ok! I will stay then.”-you

“Yay!”-joe

I laughed and moved back into his embrace.

“I had a great time tonight Joe!”-you

“Good! I’m glad!”-joe

“Hey! Maybe tomorrow you can teach me physics!”-you

“Haha ok, will do!”-joe

“Yay!”-you

Joe and I both laughed and moved into each other’s embrace even more.

“Good night Joe!”-you

I gave him a kiss on the check and put my head back on his chest.

“Good night y/n”-joe

He placed a kiss on my head and the night slipped away as I was embraced in joes arms.

——————

Authors note: so cute! Not a lot of smut because I’m not a big fan of writing it honestly but I will incorporate some here and there. Hope y’all enjoyed!🩷

[thefauxsport]

Friends Don't Let Friends Date... Rory McIlroy

This man. Yes, this man. Don't let your friends date Rory.

If you don't follow along with golf, you may not know the walking rats nest that is Rory McIlroy, but you should.

Rory, when he was a wee lad, dated a beautiful girl named Holly Sweeney. They were childhood sweethearts! He left for a tournament and while there he met Caroline Wozniacki, the Tennis Star, and promptly dumped Holly for bigger and "better" things. Turns out, this didn't completely blindside Holly as Rory had told her upfront he liked Caroline while watching a match. By the way, they were living together.

So, he leaves Holly for Caroline. They get engaged, and Caroline seems to be totally cool with a lifetime of flat shoes and leaning down to kiss her dude. Until one fateful day, Rory called Caroline and 3 MINUTES LATER, she was doing the single lady dance. Rory dumped his fiance over a 3 minute phone call. A date had been set, invites sent out. Rory peaced the fuck out 5 months after putting a ring on it.

This was in 2014.

He next moved onto a woman named Erica Stoll. Erica was an employee of PGA America and had helped Rory when he overslept before a tournament. Not only can he not keep his red flags hidden, he can't set an alarm either. They met in 2012, were dating by 2014 (right after he and Caroline split), engaged in 2015, married in 2017. They had a daughter in 2020.

Then in May of this year, Rory left for a tournament, Erica and their daughter were at home, when Erica gets a knock at the door. It's a policeman, and he's there to server her with DIVORCE PAPERS. This shocked Erica because she had no idea he was leaving her, becaus Rory is a chicken shit coward who couldn't even tell his wife he was done.

Except, he's not. Since May, they have called off their divorce, and no one knows why.

Maybe he realized he'd be paying her a small fortune in their divorce and child support. He seems the type to care about that sort of thing more than his families happiness.

Anyways, avoid Rory, he sucks as a partner and he's too small to ride your ride.

[mossyinkynebulous]

Guys, I have to admit something. You may think less of me because of it and I understand if you leave, but felt it best to be upfront with it than not.

I...was in the Hetalia fandom. I know a tragedy. It's been years since I moved on. I was really in the fandom during 2015/2016, which dwindled in 2017. I wrote and read fics for that fandom, drew fanart that I never posted online and never will, and made ocs. I've become a better person since then, but I cannot say that present me wouldn't be where I am today without it. I cosplayed one character from the show, Iceland and had casually worn his fit to school. I wasn't a part of that side of the fandom, I didn't even know about it until years later.

I have since grown to know that the show is extremely problematic and harmful and have since distanced myself from it and the fandom. I thank the it for the few short-term friends I had made through it and the Wattpad dms, but I will continue to bash the show if ever brought up in conversation.

For those who read all of this, thank you. Also, this is meant to be a joke. I feel that fandoms people were a part of when they were kids don't define a person for who they are today or even a fandom someone was in over 5 years ago. Like I was a fan of Blood Lad in that same time period, thought it was so cool; My partner and I watched it this year and it was funny, but in a 'it's so bad it's funny' way. People grow and they change. I'm not the same person I was 2 years ago, much less 5.

[chevelleneech]

Saying this now so I won’t forget, but the beginning of episode one definitely cements my opinion that Jimin and Jungkook have never been platonic. I still don’t think they’ve been together since 2017, nor do I think they dated and broke up. My opinion since the JK stalker video has been that we were likely wrong about the type of relationship they have, but not the fact that they have one.

So the reason I think their conversation in the car cements my opinion, is because they aren’t overwhelmingly awkward with one another nor are they sneak dissing. They seem very upfront about the fact that they haven’t seen each other in a while, yet Jungkook also said, “Finally.” and we know earlier in the year he was very much so wanting of Jimin’s attention. Add that to Jimin saying their trip wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t pushed it forward himself, while also saying he second guessed himself on the flight over… and yeah.

It high key gives they do not know how to be “just friends.” It gives Jungkook kept reaching out, but Jimin didn’t really answer. Then when Jimin started reaching out, JK wasn’t answering. Them being busy only made things more complicated, but then Jimin pushed for the travel show because they were about to enlist and he possibly wanted them to be on better terms before that. Especially since they already planned to enlist together. Unless this first trip was what made them make the choice to do so. Which will be very interesting to find out an answer on.

As well, tbeir incredibly flirtatious interaction on Live happened after their US trips which is also very interesting.

Anyway, bye!

[runwayrunway]

No. 53 - Hawaiian Airlines

I've spent basically a week and a half posting exclusively about Alaska Airlines, and I don't regret a second of that, but it's time to move on to something a little bit different. It's time to shift our focus south, from the icy coasts of Alaska to the sunny shores of the other non-contiguous United State. Thank you to @sirigorn for the request!

I'd had in mind for a while that I would cover Alaska and Hawai'i's home carriers right after one another. Despite the vast difference in climate their airlines have a startling amount in common. They are two of the five remaining US legacy carriers, standing proud with Delta, American, and United amidst the carnage of countless mergers and bankruptcies. They are both very well regarded - Hawaiian has a reputation for punctuality and professionalism, and is the only legacy carrier to have never had a fatality or hull loss despite being the thirteenth-oldest airline in the world still operating. But none of that is why I paired them up.

I paired them up because they both have faces. There is no reason to suspect that this was coordinated, but I think that Oliver and Pualani - the face on Hawaiian Airlines' tailfins - should be friends. If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be that. But I do have more to say, so let's look past the tail at the rest of the plane it's attached to.

(I have to say this upfront before I get into the review: no matter how pretty their airline's planes are, please choose somewhere other than Hawai'i for your next vacation. The islands were already strained by tourism and that's even before Maui was lit on fire. Now, when the people of Hawai'i are trying to rebuild, is not the time to divert their resources to anything other than supporting those affected by the deadliest wildfires in the past century. If you are able, however, I recommend donating to funds like Maui Nui Strong.)

Hawaiian Airlines has endeared themselves to me by creating a webpage discussing their brand refresh, which I always appreciate. I'm going to be discussing their modern livery today, which was introduced, with this webpage, in 2017, but it's worth noting that their 2001-2017 livery is very easy to mistake for the modern one. It's quite similar, so I'm going to quickly explain how they differ. For what it's worth, they're similar enough that I sort of consider the modern look a revision rather than an outright replacement.

This is the 2001-2017 livery. As you can see it has large flowers in varied shades of vivid purple which bloom out from around Pualani, who is on a solid red backdrop. They wrap around the tail of the plane, creating that sort of curved shape classic SASlikes try to have, and the same purple blooms are present on the winglets. I love this livery, personally - the colors and the shapes of the petals are both fantastic - I just wish there were more of them on more of the plane, instead of it just being boring and rear-heavy like everything else out there.

The 2017 revision is similar, but nonetheless visibly different. The color balance in general has shifted and Pualani has been slightly updated, but it's the flowers around her which have changed the most, and I'm going to be honest - I prefer the old one.

A large portion of Hawaiian's fleet is composed of Airbus A330s. (Each of them is named for a Polynesian constellation, historically a huge part of navigation for traditionally seafaring peoples!) The A330 is a very common plane but a very tricky one to work with. The Airbus roundness doesn't just stop at the nose, and A330s probably are the most vulnerable to this, the ratio of length to fuselage making them look a bit puffy in the front, while the taper of the tail remains about as sharp as with any other model of plane. The wings are located quite forward, and the tail is not especially large or visually interesting, which means that it ends up feeling almost small. None of this is to say that the A330 is an ugly plane; it is not. There is no such thing as an ugly plane (well, there is, but they're still cute and the A330 isn't one), but there are features of different airframes which can make them susceptible to certain visual effects. The A330, due to its specific shape, can easily struggle with an issue very opposite to many other planes - it is very easy to make it look forward-heavy, with the tail coming off sparse.

Unfortunately, this is what happens with the new flower pattern. And yet, somehow, once it's in flight it feels tail-heavy again, because all the color is concentrated there. This weighting of detail and color manages to solve no problems at all, while somehow making two seemingly paradoxical problems worse. And Hawaiian is by far not the worst offender in either camp, but it's my job to be nitpicky and harsh, so nitpick I will - the A330 is a big puffy white tube and you need more fuselage coverage, on both ends, to make it not look like a poorly weighted puffy white tube tumbling its way through the air dealing with just the strangest aerodynamic loads imaginable.

I think if I had never seen the old design I would still notice it, but knowing that they had fixed this very problem and then created it again makes it sting a bit more. I don't mind the flowers as they are now, to be clear - I just wish that there were more of them. They take up so little space that they're easy to miss if you aren't looking closely, and that's a shame, seeing as they've added so much detail!

Looking at the two tailfin designs directly next to each other, I think I actually prefer the old one. And that's not because I think the new one is bad or anything - to the contrary, I love the extra detail in the foliage, and I'll touch on another thing I like later, but there are just a few details that make me sad here, like the way the wordmark got a bit smaller and the removal of the color from the winglets.

The color in general, I think, is a step back. Some things I love, like the vivid, saturated flower they've given Pualani. In general, though, I miss the high contrast between the warm red and cool lavender of the old livery. The website says this regarding the changes to the tailfins:

Pualani, with her welcoming smile and proud gaze, embodies our culture even more clearly. Known as the “flower of the sky,” Pualani is now framed by the rising sun, watching over our guests and crew along their journey. To celebrate her regal status, we are featuring purple more prominently in our color palette, complemented by an updated graphical style that reflects our reputation as a premium, global brand.

So, I might be insane, but I actually think the new livery is less purple and more red, right? Am I insane for thinking this? And that's not bad - the color palette of a shelf of homemade jams is absolutely an appealing one - but I loved the contrast between dark, warm, rich tones and light, crisp, clear ones with the old purple, which had really been a new direction for Hawaiian's primarily-red historical branding. Like I said, I don't hate the new livery at all, but it feels like it's missing a bit compared to the old one. There's a part of me that feels like the ideal Hawaiian Airlines livery would have the tailfin of the 2017 livery with the 2001 livery's flower unfolding beneath it, fully wrapping up the tail the way it used to and providing that blueish lavender pop to really clearly contrast itself from the rest of the plane. That could be stunning, I think, and while it would be a lot of detail that's generally something you want with florals - you either go minimal, like the Vietnam Airlines lotus, or you take advantage of the potential depth of color and shape which layering can give you.

Seriously, though...it's less purple. I haven't totally lost it, right? Please tell me I haven't totally lost it. I like purple. I want purple! This feels less purple!

Having insulted the new livery a bit, I'm now going to tell you all what I really like about it.

A maile lei—one we use for important occasions—wraps around the body of the aircraft to symbolize the warm welcome we extend to our guests, and the ways that our traditions bind us together as an ‘ohana (family).

I don't think I need to explain why I love this idea, but I will anyway, because that's what you follow this blog for.

This is a lovely idea that, in addition to portraying Hawai'ian culture, is a great way to keep interest going throughout the fuselage. I love the way it's placed, with that natural-feeling flow to it which feels like it continues on from the placement of the colored flowers before assuming a flowing pattern like that of a lei held up into the wind.

It works well with the shape of the A330, curling elegantly around the ventral fairing and over the wing. It takes advantage of the large canvas provided by the giant tube of a fuselage to present an elegant pattern of twists which keeps the fall of the lei feeling natural and means that you get a different view of it from every angle. I like this a lot.

I also like the fact that they stuck with a shape that's more-or-less the Lufthansa-SAS-line archetype, but then added something else to the fuselage, less because of how it works for this specific livery and more because it proves that you don't have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to colorblocking...you just need to add something else. There is nothing wrong with the basic shapes, but everything wrong with the fact that they stop there.

...but I have to keep on nitpicking.

First: why is it grey? Why not a light purple? Grey is difficult to see on the white fuselage, and just feels at odds with the rest of the color scheme. It would feel so much more integrated, be more visible, do a lot to fix the rear-weighted color balance, and just look better if it were a light lavender or pink. I mean, fuchsia flowers lead directly into...grey ones? What kind of decision is that?

Second: why does it stop where it does? Surely with this sort of anfractuous winding pattern you could avoid covering the wordmark, or you could integrate it into the wordmark if you so wanted - I just don't understand why it cuts off behind it! This feels...

Oh no. Oh no, it's giving condor. Not literally as ugly, of course. It's not ugly at all. And it wasn't beginning with a never-before-done dynamite concept, it was iterating on something they already had that was nice but had room to grow. But it has potential dense enough that a spoonful weighs the same as an A330 and they've diluted it until most of the fuselage is just white. I don't get it. I just don't get it. They've been put one foot before the finish line of a footrace and immediately begun running in elaborate spirals. Like, you got there, but this was just a bad way to do what could have been so guaranteed.

Well, that's just one part of it. I've been talking about A330s this whole time. Hawaiian doesn't have an all-A330 fleet. I'm sure some airline out there does, but it's not them. (I had actually thought Aircalin did but I'm glad I checked to make sure because they have an A321 and a Twin Otter.) The reason I've been talking on and on about A330s is that I judge liveries which are consistent across models by their weakest points, and the A330 is easily the weakest for Hawaiian. On the reverse is the backbone of their inter-island fleet: a flock of Boeing 717s which are all named after indigenous birds, and apparently come with little plaques inside to dispense bird facts!

This livery actually looks phenomenal on the 717. This isn't a surprise to me. 717s are just fancy DC-9s, and DC-9s are one of the hardest planes to make a livery look bad on. I think the ceiling for a really great DC-9 livery is probably not the highest, but the floor for a bad DC-9 livery is in contrast quite high. Some planes are just hard to design liveries for - like A330s. Other planes are forthcoming with visual interest of their own in a way that accommodates liveries that look painfully minimal on larger, more conventionally laid-out planes.

The 717 has a very short (vertically) fuselage, limiting the blank space, and it seems like something about how they transferred the lei pattern unchanged onto it meant that it ended up reaching nearly to the nose. The small amount of overall real estate on planes like this means that detailed liveries shine their brightest, with every little bit fully blown up where on a larger, whiter canvas they could be lost in the dense shuffle and surrounding howling expanse. The rear part of the engines look a bit funky (which could be remedied somewhat if the flowers extended farther, like they did with the old livery) but this is otherwise just fantastic and would be exalted in my eyes if they just had made the lei an actual color.

Look, see how much better the shape of the old livery worked with the engines! It's so frustrated when airlines keep making half of a really great livery but never really merging them together into the absolute stunner of a livery that they could have - it reminds me of JAL, sort of, though again, Hawaiian just has nicer-looking planes at base by quite a margin.

The last type of plane they fly is the A321neo (each of which is named after local plants and forests). The relative stature, shape, and layout of this handsome girl are a compromise between the 717 and the A330, and accordingly I think this livery looks totally solid on her. The issues with the grey that I mentioned earlier remain, fuselage coverage is better than the A330 but not perfect, it's pretty but I can nitpick about it. Still, when I see this plane the nitpicks aren't the first thing that come to mind - they come after. The impression upfront is of a very pretty floral design in a lovely palette of homemade jams with a bit going on in the fuselage and Pualani's striking silhouette. There is a lot to like here and it's the details that just aren't keeping pace with the general design.

image: Hawaiian Airlines

Worth mentioning, though, is that this is the last type of plane they operate for now. Beginning in January of 2024 they will be taking delivery of 12 Boeing 787s, a plane which I love so much that it's one of the airframe features I've actually gotten around to doing. (I've been meaning to do more, but my life is hectic and posts kept getting long.) I only have this one picture to go off of, but I'm worried about the fact that the lei seems to stop even earlier on the airframe. The 787 is a beautiful plane, but it's a long plane, and this makes me worry that the rear-heaviness is going to be exacerbated on it. Maybe from a different angle the heavy wing sweep and the location of the engines could counteract this somewhat, but for now all I have to say is that I hope this very pretty livery and this very pretty plane can unite to create something very pretty, and I hope that it looks better when we get more pictures of it. (I do not yet know what their 787s will be named for.)

As I wind down my picking-apart of this livery, I keep stumbling on the glaring absence of winglet and nacelle detail. This is one of the simplest things you can do to avoid the rear-heavy look, and basically every livery benefits from it. The floral motif would be easy to translate, and the old livery even had some colored detail on the winglets, so I really don't get it. This doesn't just feel like a misstep, this feels like walking an hour to work every day and then learning on your very last day at that job that the whole time there was a bus you could have been taking.

And that's just...overall how I feel about Hawaiian Airlines. Beautiful graphics, fantastic idea, but it's like if a designer has ordered the building of a beautiful sculpture and the head of the company has ordered his employees to comply, but each one of them hates the designer and is doing all they can to sabotage him while never technically going counter to his instructions and vision. It's...it's really strange. It's hard to classify. I've kind of figured out how I give verdicts for things I think are really great executions of fundamentally insufficient concepts, but the reverse - 'great idea, generally pretty, so many bad choices' - is harder to nail down.

B-, I think.

Is this provisional or permanent? I couldn't tell you. But my reasoning is thus: this livery is one that I like, but which I think is poorly executed. A like-minus, if you will.

These grades ultimately really are something that can only mean something within the context of its own post - comparing one airline to another along their lines is going to be futile and this is not a tier list. I had intended it to function like that, but it just probably doesn't. Sorry, grading scales are difficult. I get so neurotic about grading scales. That's why I never used a numeric scale.

I mean, even these posts can be a bit misleading. This has been mostly critical despite the fact that I generally like this livery. It's the granular nature of my problems which makes up the bulk of the length. 'It's pretty' is maybe one paragraph at best. 'The details are mind-bogglingly suboptimal' is a full essay.

Their liveries are pretty. Their liveries have lovely colors and a fantastic logo in Pualani, reference their heritage, and incorporate features I've specifically pointed to before as being the sort of thing that can save liveries, but they managed to stumble so elaborately when sticking the landing that you wonder how they managed to do it - just landing on your feet would have been so much easier than doing that many ungainly tap-dancing maneuvers on your way down. None of it ruins what is still a very pretty livery, but all of it makes me look off at the horizon and faintly wonder 'why...' under my breath. I hope that in the future they wake up, take a deep breath, and realize they've built the perfect livery piecemeal all along and now all they have to do is put it together from their two most recent attempts, both of which were beautiful but far from perfect. I would even say that, with the inclusion of the lei, they have grown objectively - but they have so much further to grow.

And, to finish, I'm going to address what I know some people are probably wondering - no, I am not doing a deep dive into Pualani's identity, because Hawaiian Airlines is very upfront about what and who she is. Pualani is not exactly a real person, per se - she is a mascot, the 'flower of the sky' - but her image is based on a real person, and that real person unfortunately died mere weeks ago, as I was preparing to research this.

It was startling receiving this news as I was searching for information on the history of the Pualani logo - seeing 'is' turn to 'was' in real time. It was strange having to go back and edit my own writing to say 'was'. But maybe my timing isn't as bad as it could have been. One more tribute amid tributes - nothing special - but another voice among those celebrating the iconic face on the purple tailfins.

image: Miss Hawaii Organization

Leina’ala Ann Teruya Drummond, an indigenous Hawai'ian, was 1964's Miss Hawai'i and a top ten placer in 1965's Miss America competition. She had also worked for Hawaiian Airlines as a cabin crew member when she was younger, and was later chosen to be the model for the airline's new Pualani logo, which debuted in 1973. Coincidentally right after Oliver, but I do think it's just that - a coincidence - especially since the 1973 livery, including Pualani, was designed by Landor Associates, an incredibly prolific firm. She's evolved a lot since then, but she started out as Leina’ala Drummond and this has been public knowledge since the start.

Unfortunately, on 18th September 2023 Drummond succumbed to cancer, aged 77. She lived a full and exciting life, and I can't think of any better way to put it than the Miss Hawaii Organization did - her “iconic smile, elegance and grace will always be remembered”. Some of that elegance still lives on through the image on every Hawaiian Airlines plane's tailfin, which has evolved over the years but never changed at its core. May her memory be blessed, and my condolences to her loved ones.

image: Hawaiian Airlines

Even as she changes you can still see Drummond in Pualani's calm, graceful dignity. Hawaiian Airlines' branding would be a husk of itself without her, and I hope her image will grace their planes for decades to come.

[ausetkmt]

Sean Kingston's Mom Taken Into Custody During Mansion Raid

Sean Kingston's mother was taken into custody this morning after law officials raided the rapper-singer's rented Southwest Ranches mansion in South Florida.

Sean Kingston's Mom Taken Into Custody During Mansion Raid

On Thursday (May 23), Sean Kingston's mom, Janice Turner, was detained on numerous fraud and theft charges after police officers raided her son Sean Kingston's rented Southwest Ranches mansion in Dania Beach, Fla. The Broward County Sheriff's Office has released the following statement to XXL about the incident.

"Following an investigation that began in the city of Dania Beach, this morning, May 23, Broward Sheriff’s Office Dania Beach District detectives along with members of BSO’s Strategic Investigations Unit and Davie Police SWAT, served arrest and search warrants at a residence in Southwest Ranches," the statement reads. "As a result of the investigation, an adult female, Janice Turner, was taken into custody on numerous fraud and theft charges. This investigation is active and ongoing." According to local news outlet NBC 6 South Florida, the raid is linked to a lawsuit filed by Ver Ver Entertainment, which claims that Sean has reportedly failed to pay monthly installments and the installation fee for a 232-inch television they sold him.

In the video above, Dennis Card, an attorney who represents the company, says that the Jamaican-American artist is known to flaunt his riches, calling Sean's acts an "organized systematic fraud."

"He likes having bling, he likes showing off, he's a showman," attorney Dennis Card stated to news reporters. "My client has a $150,000 television sound system that's in there, there's also about $1 million worth of watches that are in there, there's a $80,000 custom bed that was ordered. This is an organized systematic fraud."

Card elaborated by detailing Sean Kingston's alleged fabricated lifestyle.

"He's got basically a script," Dennis Card continued. "He says that he works with Justin Bieber and that he obviously puts on a big show here. This is a rental house. He doesn't own it, and he lures people using his celebrity into having them release things without him paying for it, and then he simply never pays."

Card went on to insist the musician is a scammer. "He's 100 percent a scammer," he added. "He's on felony probation right now for trafficking in stolen property. He's got judgments against him for procuring more than $1 million in watches without paying for them. This is just an ongoing pattern for Sean."

Hip-Hop Jeweler Johnny Dang Speaks About Raid

After DJ Akademiks hopped on Instagram and posted about the news surrounding Sean Kingston's rented home, Johnny Dang, a well-respected jeweler in the hip-hop community, seemed to piggyback off the accusations surrounding Sean Kingston's failure to pay for purchased assets. His comment underneath Ak's IG post, which can be seen below, suggested that the artist owes him a pretty penny as well. "Damnn I need to collect my $ too loll," Johnny Dang wrote.

Sean Kingston Reacts to Raid

Hours after the raid, Sean Kingston hopped on his Instagram Story and spoke more about what happened. The artist wrote that he and his mother were in good spirits and that he was taking legal action.

"People love negative energy!" Sean penned. "I am good and so is my mother!..my lawyers are handling everything as we speak." The image can be seen below.

XXL has reached out to Sean Kingston's team for comment.

Read More: Sean Kingston Allegedly Punches and Pulls Gun on Music Video Director - Report

Sean Kingston Sued for Failing to Pay for Rolex

Sean Kingston has a history of not paying for purchased items. In April of 2017, the "Beautiful Girls" hitmaker faced legal trouble for reportedly paying half the amount for a Rolex that was worth $46,000.

According to TMZ, Sean Kingston paid $10,000 upfront to Norman Silver Diamonds and then sent a check for $36,000 to have the watch shipped to his business associate. Eventually, the jeweler discovered that the musician's check didn't clear. Since their encounter in 2013, the man who sued Sean Kingston received $15,000 for the Rolex. The court documents revealed that Kingston still owed about $21,353 for the purchase.

[amassofhumanity]

First drive in my new (to me) 2017 Subaru Outback. I was so stressed about everything involved in buying a car. I’ll go into details in a post tomorrow. Dealership was great. Upfront pricing and no hard sale for upgrades.

Holy Hell I’m glad this process is over.

[maxverstappensflatbrim]

Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [36]

chapter thirty-six, act five: the ballad of me and my brain

masterlist

little Author's note /TW before this act begins. There's going to be alot of talk of drug use and addiction within the chapters coming, if you're not comfortable with these kinds of things please don't read.

January 14th 2017

Tommie yawns, one big loud yawn as she shuffles through her house to the front door.

Gabby grins when it’s opened and tugs her little suitcase in behind her. “Hey, babes.”

“Gabs? What are you doing here?”

Gabby sighs, “I miss my best mate, is that a crime?” She asks kicking her shoes off and lining them up neatly besides Tommie who quickly shakes her head and opens her arms for a hug, “Haven’t seen you since Christmas, I missed you.”

Tommie smiles, breathing in slowly as she accepts the hug from her friend. “Okay, I have so much planned for us, tonight is movie night, tomorrow I’m driving us to Cardiff and we’re having a shopping day, monday we’re going to go to the cinema, I haven’t decided on tuesday yet, struggling between a pamper day and a trip to a beach, but that might be too cold now I’m thinking about it.”

“Okay, let’s start with movie day-”

“Okay, but I’m picking. I cannot watch Fantastic Mr Fox again.”

“But it’s my favourite.”

“It’s the only film you watch besides Revenge of the Sith.”

“They’re good films.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ 

The flashes are bright, too bright and she’d forgotten her sunglasses to protect herself from them.

The bag on her shoulder weighs her down more than everyone else, her laptop, books, writing books, hoodie and a pair of shoes she couldn’t fit into her suitcase make their weight known against her muscles.

Ross’ body blocks some of the light, but when he’s moved over by Jamie and towards the side her shield is gone.

The screams of teenage girls are too loud as they push against the old creaking barrier to try and get closer to Matty, he’s upfront, sunglasses and leather jacket on looking like a guy out of a Corey Hart song.

He revels in the attention whereas Tommie hates it, shying away as much as she can, hiding into the darkness of her hoodie as her hands fumble with the strap of her bag.

Then someone is breaking over the barrier, she can’t tell who gets over first, the fan or the rogue photographer.

They both shove each other, the poor teenage girl is on the floor, Tommie’s standing there above her, photographer’s camera in her face.

Without thinking she’s shoving the camera away, it clatters and smashes on the floor, hitting the girl who’s being helped up by other fans.

“Tommie! Tommie!”

Hands are gripping her from both sides of the barriers, the walkway hasn't been made big enough. Strangers are touching her and she holds her breath not to be sick right there.

“Tommie! Matty!”

Someone gripped her and pulled her into them, arms wrapped around and guiding her into the van, straight into the back.

George sits beside her, holding her hand in his lap as the rest pile in, Matty coming in last after signing a few screaming fans shirts.

Matty raises his brows as he peers over the drummer, but George shakes his head, wraps one arm around her, tugs her into his side and blocks her from the singer’s view.

“Tom.”

“Leave her be, Matty.”

“You alright?”

He ignores George and moves his arm to brush his knuckles across the top of her head, reaching around the back of George awkwardly to do it.

“Matty-”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

George elbows him, giving him a look that he once again ignores. 

“I’m fine, Matt.”

Her tone is sharp, and he leans back, taking his arm away and resting his hands in his lap. “Okay, I was just asking.”

“You’re always just asking.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ross looks between them slowly, the tension has been building between them for weeks and no one knows why.

Adam gives one harsh look to Matty and he’s pausing, shrinking back in his seat and mumbles an apology. “I jus-” He cuts himself off before he can finish the word, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ 

February 21st 2017

“Just be honest with me, Jamie. Be brutal. It’s bad.”

Jamie sighs, “It can easily be fixed.” He assures, “I’m sure Matty will do something bad next week.”

She sighs and leans forward, head in her hands, Adam moving to rub up and down her back, “God, this is bad.”

“It’s fine, it’ll blow over.”

“Yeah, but I-”

“So what? Have you seen the way the Gallaghers act? Or any other mildly popular artists? People have done worse.”

She looks at the newspaper on the table. An article about her blowing off the fans at the airport, talks of assault as she’d accidentally shoved someone in a hurry to the awaiting car.

The truth was the flight had been bad, she’d been seated beside Matty, the pair still haven’t talked since he showed up at her house, and with the show after show after show routine she’d already been on edge.

It’s all falling apart. Something she used to be so good at, touring endlessly with no rest, is no longer her strong suit.

And to top it off, she hasn’t seen Button in two months, the dog has been staying with her grandparents back in South Wales to give her a break from moving around.

Usually articles like these would mean nothing to Tommie, she’d brush it aside with a half-arsed shrug.

But it's the fact they’re dragging Caleb and his band down with her, knowing the 1975 are far too popular around the world to be touched by a little article they’ve targeted Dirty Delights.

She knows they probably won’t see this. It’s a European news outlet, there’s no chance, right?

Nope.

Caleb had called her the moment it came out.

That’s why she’s panicking.

She doesn’t want to ruin Caleb’s career before it’s even begun.

George sighs, finally sitting down, “It’ll be forgotten next week. They’ll start talking about Taylor Swift again or a shitty Kardashian boob job or something, don’t worry.”

She sighs, “What if this ruins Caleb’s career?”

“What career?” Comes a snort from across the room.

Ross smiles, but it's quickly dropped when he sees the glare that Tommie is sending to Matty across the room.

“I can’t be the reason his band fails before they’ve even had the chance to start.”

“They’ve had plenty of chances, they’re the ones who's fucking up. I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.”

“Matty-” Adam tries but Tommie’s standing now.

“You’re forgetting you guys were in a band for ten years before you got the chance.”

“Yeah, but we had fans. People who’d turn up to our gigs-”

“Oh, you mean your groupies who’d give you money to suck you di-”

“Alright.” It’s Gabby who’s breaking them up, brows raised as she looks between them weirdly, she sighs as she moves to Matty pushing him back down, “Shut up.” She tells him as she moves to sit on the other side of Tommie, bringing her back down to rub her arms.

“Give it a few days, ignore it, don’t comment on it. You get things like this all the time.” 

She shrugs, picking at her jeans as she nods, “I know.”

“Never usually bothers you like this.”

“I know.”

Matty’s jaw wiggles as he watches his girlfriend comfort Tommie quietly, arms around her with Tommie resting her head on her shoulder.

The door opens then, Caleb steps in, eyes falling to his girlfriend who sits up quickly. He smiles walking over to greet her and she stands as he hugs her.

He mutters a ‘don't worry about it all, we’ll talk later’ and she nods quickly.

Then Jamie's standing too, “Come on, five minutes and you’re all on.”

On her way out he grabs her hand, “I’ll sort it.”

“Thank you.”

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ

“I’m sorry.”

Caleb shrugs as they enter their hotel room in London, he sheds his jacket hanging it on the chair and starts unlacing his shoes.

“It was all too much, everything, I-”

“Babe.”

He turns, holding his hands out for her and she slowly accepts it, “It’s okay. It’s not your fault, I know how you get.”

“How I get?”

He nods, wincing at his words of choice, “You know what I mean.”

“No, no, I don’t.”

“Well, you’re… different, Tommie.”

“Different?”

He sighs, bowing his head, “I’m not winning this no matter what I say so whatever it is you’re building up to just get it out with.”

“I just want to know what you mean.” She says, knowing full well she does in fact know what he means, and she also is in fact building up to say something. 

She sighs looking down, “I’ve always been called different, Caleb, but what does that mean?”

He sighs slowly, “You’re just… not like everyone else.” She raises a brow and he sighs, “It’s not a bad thing.”

She nods, then steps back shedding her blouse and jeans to put on her pyjamas.

“Tommie.” He says, watching her carefully, “You’re just a little more… I don’t know, sensitive I guess.”

“Sensitive?”

“Yeah. But also weirdly emotionless at the same time.” He says looking up at thought.

“I’m not different.” She says, as she glances up over his head at the mirror hanging on the wall to stare at herself. Picking apart everything, her straightened hair, the makeup still on her face, the gold necklace he got her for her birthday, the bags under her eyes, the little scar on her eyebrow from when she hit her head as a kid. It’s not her. It’s Caleb.

Straightened hair because he likes it like that, makeup left over despite how hard she’s scrubbed her face because she put so much on to hide the bags given to her by sleepless nights made no better by his comforting hands, a golden necklace replacing her favourite silver one because he caused an argument when she didn't wear it. The scar on her eyebrow he points out way too much, that he avoids touching when his fingers trace her features. 

“I’m just me.”

Caleb watches her as she climbs into bed and hangs his head, “Tommie…”

“Goodnight, Caleb. Big day tomorrow.”

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro

-let me know if you want to be added :)

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Charisma Madarang and Asawin Suebsaeng at Rolling Stone:

As Democrats continue their rhetorical strategy of trash-talking Donald Trump, his running mate J.D. Vance, and other “weird” and “creepy” conservative policymakers attempting to thrust the country into the dark ages, the former president has become increasingly furious at the messaging overtaking media outlets and internet memes. During a Thursday interview with conservative radio host Clay Travis, Trump attempted to reverse the criticism and said that Democrats were “the weird ones.” He insisted, “Nobody’s ever called me weird. I’m a lot of things, but weird I’m not. And I’m upfront. And he’s not either, I will tell you. J.D. is not at all. They are.” “We’re not weird people,” Trump added. “We’re we’re actually just the opposite. Notably, in 2015, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) observed, “When Donald comes across a poll he doesn’t like, he gets weird and he does these sorts of strange things and that’s fine – that’s the sort of campaign he wants to run and he’s entitled to it.”

Then, in 2017, following Trump’s sinister inauguration speech, 43rd U.S. president George W. Bush offered a brief assessment: “That was some weird shit.” If one of the strategic intentions driving the Democratic Party-wide, anti-“weird” messaging campaign was to crawl under Trump’s skin, in that sense the effort has been a success. According to two sources with knowledge of the matter, in recent days, Trump has been repeatedly complaining to advisers and confidants about how much amplification the Democrats and Team Kamala Harris’ “weird” attacks on Trump, Vance, and their allies has gotten in the media, including on his generally friendly home-turf of Fox News. The ex-president has grumbled that it makes no sense to him that any “weird” attacks on Vance would stick in the public consciousness, not when Harris has, for instance, “that laugh.” (On the campaign trail, the former president has been trying to convince voters that the vice president is “nuts,” largely based on the manner in which Harris laughs.)

Calling into The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show yesterday, Donald Trump ludicrously insisted that the Democrats were “the weird ones” while delusionally believing that he and J.D. Vance are not “weird.”

From the 08.01.2024 edition of Premiere Radio Networks' The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show: