#Uzi had good intentions to be sure

[leavemeal0newithmym0ss]

“You little nark! get out of my head!” implying V didn’t want Uzi in her mind and wasn’t willingly knocked out for the whole process. 

UZI 👏  WAS 👏  WORRIED 👏 THAT 👏  WHATEVER 👏  WAS 👏  INFECTING 👏  N 👏  WAS 👏   ALSO 👏  INFECTING 👏  V 👏  AND 👏  SHE 👏  KNOWS 👏  DAMN 👏  WELL 👏  THAT 👏  V 👏  WOULD 👏  MUCH 👏  RATHER 👏  OVERHEAT 👏  THAN 👏  ADMIT 👏  IT 👏  AND 👏  ASK 👏  FOR 👏  HELP❗❗❗

So naturally she knocked V offline. The question is how.....Probably N? Probably N.

[l3monlem0n]

Some Murder Drones Episode 7 screenshots I thought were interesting and my thoughts on them :>

SPOILER WARNING!!!! is spoilering

Nori, despite being a middle aged woman with a child, appears to be an Otaku or otherwise likes "edgy" and "scene" stuff, as well as listening to nightcore, very much like her daughter. Good for her tbh you're never too old to have fun

She also has a photo of Khan and what I can only assume is baby Uzi, though it appears to have blue eyes, but maybe it's just the lighting. Still very cute she has a pic of her husband

As well as all the previously mentioned Otaku stuff, she also drew herself as an anime character. She has a skinsona. Phenomenal (pos)

Nothing much here, just Uzi coughing up blood. Girl got the goop (gore) inside of her already

Lab Space. Apparently the Church was just down there and not even the humans know why. The canonicity of this is questionable; it could just be a joke

OT, as per google, stands for "Occupational Therapy". Makes sense for the context, and makes the bottom text funnier

"Fun Time To Universe Big Crunch: 87". The Big Crunch is a hypothetical way the Universe could end, where the universe folds on itself and shrinks into a single point. 87 "what" I don't know. If it's months, that 7 years and 3 months

Honestly the Murder Drones lore is super confusing. I think what this is trying to say is that every other Zombie Drone is doing poorly, (Except for Yeva), they are trying to reactivate 002 (Nori) via the USB. I'm not sure what this means. Maybe they only got the results they wanted from the two of them, and are trying again with Nori since she was the only other one that worked (also why they got Yeva when she failed; this may all be referring to how the episode opened up) Also, the date says SER. As revealed in the episode Cabin Fever, Copper-9 has months that Earth does not. SER most likely stands for Seramorris, the month revealed in that episode

Looks like the "bad event" wasn't the first one. Certainly was the last one though lol

Just a good pic of ghost/hologram V with the scary stuff. Might use this as a wallpaper

You can literally see the hole in his neck where N bit him in...

...And it's to the point his HEAD FALLS OFF. (including because I didn't notice the first time around)

Yup, the idea that Uzi became the Admin for N and V is completely true. I wonder what would've happened if she didn't, since Cyn didn't react whatsoever

friggin bug (very pos)

You would not believe how difficult it was to get a good pic of this (I'm using snipping tool lmao). Always a pleasure to see Uzi's doodles. Things her gun can do (upper right):

NOT judge her

Forced prom date (?)

Allows her to say she had friends before she frickin murdered them with sci-fi machinery

The cut off text at the bottom: Plan B: Normal gun + Shoot really fast

This is while Tessa is looking for something in the lockers. Claws, chains, magnets, Wings, and scribbled "HELP". Looks like the lockers were all specifically to hold the infected worker drones. Oof

We are in the future now baby. We have rererererereCAPTCHA. Funnily enough, it still couldn't stop a robot

There is a message board where someone who doesn't like robots is talking. They also are scared. Also no one else is using this system, which is unsurprising. "Ur aight ;)" Wait is the winky face intentional foreshadowing? Or unintentional?

We get the names of a bunch of other Worker Drones. Unfortunately for all 029 fans, her name was not visible. (also can someone tell me what "JWEB" could be short for?) And Yeva is said to have a patch. That may be the crucible thing idk

Cyn (which I will be calling this version Skyn [Skin + Cyn]) apparently took of the space suit just to give Doll the Withered Foxy jumpscare. Honestly really terrifying. If this photo was teased before release I think the fandom would've exploded

Just N being a good boy :3

The MDs, Cyn's pets. Nori refers to them as "Nerfed" so the "Entity" can ensure control, and says they were made to destroy other hosts. I don't know why Cyn would want them dead, but I'm not the loremaster here. YouTube line is there because I couldn't be bothered after the Railgun image

Probably already confirmed, but doubly confirmed that a symptom of the Solver is giving Drones organic insides. A Worker Drone body with a rib cage and guts. I wonder what would happen if the infection continued uninterrupted (also R.I.P. Doll I loved you :frown:)

I'm sure everyone noticed, but when Uzi tried to manipulate Tessa, the ERROR noticed appeared. Already hinting Tessa is not all she says she is

Apparently the Solver can create Black Hole Saws. Interesting development (Blackhole Blitz)

I know most people (I think) see this as a joke and N just being a bit of goofball. But honestly, I think he did it intentionally to shock Cynuzi and give Nori a chance. In the Pilot, he licked V's sword to surprise her too, which means he isn't unfamiliar with doing something weird and surprising for the advantage

Skyn eating Doll's core. R.I.P. Doll again. Seriously, was that Doll in Core Form like Nori was? Or was Nori a fringe case because she was "Exorcised" and this is just a regular core? Questions, questions. Also yeah the Solver also gives you a Core. Fun

This tag makes me think that this body is Cyn's actual body. Not longer a hologram, but her actual body from the mansion. The reason Tessa gave N, J, and V their names was because that was the first letter of their Serial Designation (she's very uncreative). However, Cyn's tag was slightly faded, which meant her SD couldn't be seen, so Tessa gave her the name "Cyn" after her P/N, even though the other 3 already have the same P/N as Cyn (Tessa, again, is very uncreative)...

...and for some reason, Cyn or the Solver, which ever theory you subscribe to, decided to wear Tessa as a skin suit for some twisted reason. It did help her with the Captcha. Also scary because this doesn't have the right proportions for an adult (unless Cyn really forced that skin on), which leads me to believe that this is a Younger Tessa, and she faked having an older voice. Maybe I shouldn't call her my wife... I'm sure Eldritch J is still available :^)

(Seriously, the eyes are burnt out, leaving two eye holes over the visor, so she gives herself two X eyes so it looks better. Also yeah we found out what that thing on the "It Came From Copper-9" poster came from. It really was Cyn or Skyn)

Just a frame of the final...frame... for coolness. I'm probably also going to use this for a background. Also, this is definitely Copper-9. You can see the ring and ringless moon together on the right. Uzi somehow got sent to orbit after falling in the meat hole

Well that was all for now. This series has consumed me entirely, body and soul, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Goodbye and goodnight

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 7)

The one thing Uzi did not mind about her transformation was her ability to fly alongside N during scavenging missions. He often had to slow down (thrusters will always be faster than manual flying), but it didn't seem to bother him in the least, especially when she was sharing her favorite songs with him over short-range.

And no, it didn't all consist of Nightcore thank you very much. She was sharing the ones she thought he would like.

Of course, N liked all of them, so she probably could blare Nightcore at full volume and he'd like it, but she was still keeping it mostly mainstream, mostly because he seemed to like singing lyrics if he knew them, which was fun!

Because he was good at it.

He nailed nearly every note so long as he was familiar with the song, and it was gorgeous, his voice smooth as butter and just high enough to reach the minor keys without sounding off.

And yes, it did make her core flutter like it was full of a million butterflies, but that was besides the point.

“Hang on, lemme give you this one.” She sent another over to him, her wings flapping above her as they both glided comfortably.

“How many do you have?!” N asked excitedly, although it was definitely in the sense that he was eager to hear all of them and not that he wanted her to stop.

“Years worth of emotional repression leads to years worth of saved angst, what can I say?” She replied, poking a little fun at herself, she pushed ahead as he opened the audio file, scanning the ground for any parts she needed.

This one was a little angry sounding, but the guitar was nice, and there was a woman singing in the background that he wished didn't sound so sad, but it was pretty, at the very least.

“Do you want me to just give you my playlist? I've kinda just been sending you singles from it this whole time.” She fell back in line with him, wings beating above her, wow, he never realized how strong they looked before.

“Yes!” He beamed, being ecstatic to listen to more, it was leagues better than anything he'd ever heard play at the manor, plus he felt as if he was learning quite a bit about her just through her saved songs.

He noted the complete lack of love songs, there were plenty of breakup songs, but it didn't seem that Uzi had either never felt that way about anyone or she may have just not liked the sappiness of them. He wasn't sure, he was kinda hoping for the latter, she deserved someone to make her happy, surely?

“Here. But we can't spend all night doing this, it not really what we're here for…” She sent him a massive folder that was going to take a bit to install, in the meantime. They both flew upwards, trying to spot things from higher up.

“No worries, what are we looking for?” He asked, just replaying the same songs he'd already listened to on repeat, just at a lower volume.

“A hardware store preferably, that explosion melted all my railguns internals… stupid J… pain in my ass even in death.” She added, sounding bitter. He didn't argue.

“Hmm, I think I saw one last night. I can send you the map data?” He offered, not noticing how closely they were flying, he could feel each beat of her wings. The urge to wrap his tail around her hit him suddenly. She wasn't in danger. What was this about?

“Sweet! Yes!” She gave him a thumbs up, and so he sent the map data to her, and she went silent looking it over intently.

And here he was admiring how she could intently focus of his map data while also flying near perfectly again, if he ever needed to revist a location he had to stop flying lest he hit something. Not her though, her mind was so lightening fast. Not just in this, but in everything.

Man his best freind was so cool. And pretty.

She… was pretty. But that was random.

“Yeah, you did pass one, this way!” She did pause in the air for a moment, but only to turn to him and make sure he was following, he nodded, letting her lead him.

Her tail swirled behind her as she kept herself aloft, it was graceful in it's own way, since she had to think more about consciously flying then he did, and so she ended up doing more spins and tricks in the air just by flying normally. It was almost like watching a dance, albeit a bat-like one.

“We're here.” He heard her shout before diving, and he followed without question, landing beside her with a metallic thud in contrast with her graceful perfect landing.

Okay, what the heck was going on with him today?

“Anything specific?” He asked, dusting the snow off himself before it melted and refroze to his chassis. Ignoring the random intrusive thoughts that seemed to be increasing in frequency and intensity.

“Small screws, wiring, oh! And capacitors! Lots and lots of capacitors.” He knew at least what two of those things were at what they looked like, so he nodded and followed her into the blasted out store after beating the snow out of his cap.

Her tail whipped around into a flashlight, pointing it at the rotten shelves and the icesicles hanging above them, a skeleton was at the counter, still in uniform, and still in the position of looking bored.

“Split up? I'll look for the capacitors, you get the screws and wiring?” She turned to him, with the absence of others she always seemed to smile, he gave her a thumbs up and beamed her one right back, before turning and wandering to the nearest shelf, leaving them both alone with their thoughts.

Uzi was already searching deep in the electronic section, trying to find capacitors that weren't completely broken or frozen, with a task at hand her mind was blessedly empty for once, enough that she was humming absent-mindedly whatever song had gotten trapped in her head.

She didn't sing, she didn't like her voice and thought it was too deep for most songs, but humming was fine, if it wasn't done in front of other people. Robo-God forbid someone hear her not being aggro for ten seconds. But here she was alone, and N was on the other side of the store, he couldn't hear her.

And even if he could, it was N. He wouldn't ever make fun of her for anything.

She smiled. At this point trying to deny her feelings was pointless, he made her feel so special, so wonderful. And he was so happy to spend any time with her, whether it be listening to her music or watching a movie or agreeing to visit a baby with her. He was always down, loving every second.

It rubbed off on her, she found herself smiling more, liking her life more, liking herself more. She was beginning to feel less like a freak and more like a person, all thanks to the lovable goofball she called her best freind.

And she wanted to call him more, connect with him more, but… she couldn't be certain he felt the same way. He was always so loving but he was like that with everyone, he cared, and that's just who he was.

So nothing he did proved he liked her like that. Romanticly. Never in a million years did she ever think she would be longing for someone, or even have a crush in the first place, but here she was, admitting to herself that… she was in love. Ew

But at the same time, the way he had been looking at her in the nursery, with a small smile on his face and his eyes digitally half-lidded. He looked… almost like he wanted to kiss her.

But that had to have been her imagination, he'd asked if she felt better right before, maybe he'd just been concerned.

With a victorious gasp she found a whole box of preserved capacitors and quickly stashed them in her bag before going off and trying to find the boy in question, core full of butterflies but also very very heavy.

N had finally finished downloading Uzi's monster of a playlist and was skimming through it while picking up his second box of screws, he doubted she needed this many, but being an overachiever never got him in trouble before.

He fingered the wiring he had in his pocket, feeling satisfied that he'd completed his task and yet still felt anything but.

He was… confused.

Uzi was his friend, his best friend. And yet the more he thought about her the lighter his core got, in a way that was new to him. Well no, that was it wasn't it? It wasn't new.

It was just attached to a new person.

But… he didn't have a crush on Uzi did he? He could form sentences just fine around her, he wasn't nervous or artificially sweaty. He just wanted to be close, to protect her. To be there when she needed him. That wasn't romantic. It was protective! Like all friends should be!

And yet he still felt unsatisfied, like he was missing something.

“Hey! Did you find what we needed?” He heard her before he saw her, bounding up to him with a crooked smirk, her tail twitching behind her and her wings folded against her back. She was cute…

He shook off his thoughts again.

“Yeah! Here!” He he presented the screws and the wire to her with a smile, his tail twitching as her hand grazed his as she took them, no that wasn't a spark you're imagining things.

“Thanks!” You ready to head back? It's going to be morning soon.” She asked, punching his shoulder playfully, a small laugh left his mouth.

“Yeah! And we can listen to music together on the way back!”

“Sure buddy.”

And with that they took off, commenting on songs and cracking jokes about the stupid ones, flying high to get home faster. With each minute he felt himself relax, whatever confusing mess his thoughts were causing right now didn't matter, they were laughing, and she was smiling. He would figure it out later.

“Is… is this song about a potato?” He asked slowly, causing her to snort before devolving into a fit of laughter.

“Y-yeah? I thought it was funny, and I rigged the teachers lounge to play it on repeat once.”

N didn't want to ask why, but he felt that it was a very Uzi thing to do.

“Hey, I might need to crash at your place tonight. Charge is low and I don't wanna pass out on the way home.” As she said that, a little low battery symbol appeared at the top right corner of her visor, showing she wasn't lying.

“Sleepover!” He shouted, making her smile again, he really liked her smile…

“Yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes, but her words lacked any sort of bite. There was a brief comfortable silence before;

“Oh… this one's kinda sad.” His face fell at little as he listened. An orchestral swell being out of place in the rest of the playlist.

I am tired of this dream….

Will it ever end for me?

“Sorry, I don't have a lot of happy ones that aren't also sarcastic…” She admitted sheepishly, she probably should find happier songs now that she was thinking about it. She felt happier now, what was the harm? So long that it was only her and N that would ever hear them.

I don't have the will to know…

Can you help me see?

“Oh! Duet!” He hummed happily, that fact alone seemingly making him feel better about it.

Let my body keep you warm…

Let my essence be your breeze.

Oh. This was a love song, and a rather longing one. He looked over Uzi's playlist, this one was added only recently. About three months ago, huh that was around when prom happened.

Can you hear me calling?

Please look out for meeee…

“N! Look!” Uzi shouted and he looked up, the gas giant was being eclipsed by Copper-9s barren moon, causing the entire night sky to be lit up in a burnt umber red. But he'd be lying if he said that was what caught his attention.

Can you set me free?

Will you take my soul away?

Uzi was silhouetted in the light perfectly, sending warm oranges and reds bouncing off her features like she was gazing at a roaring fire, she was hung in the air, snowflakes falling slowly around her, the light turning them to embers dancing in the air. She was smiling, her hands reaching out to touch one of the dancing flames.

Casting me in cold

Bury me in bones

Rest eternallyyyyyy…

He felt all the moisture in his mouth evaporate on the spot, and any further thought through his processors die. If flying wasn't an automatic process, he would have fallen from the sky in shock.

She looked beautiful.

Will you take me home?

Can we see the moon again?

Dancing in the dark

Till we fall apart

I can't end this dream...

Next ->

[eveledoze]

What are your thoughts on envy & thuzi?

i started liking Thad/Uzi from the pilot, Thad seemed like a pretty good choice for her. but then i somehow came up with Thad/Doll and forgot about the first one (+Nuzi showed up)

(old sketch- unfortunately i didn't draw Uzi and Thad together, so have this)

i don't pay much attention to Thad/Uzi rn, but i still think they're really cute! :з i've read a couple of fanfictions and seen a couple of arts with them (and i think a lot of them were prom themed lol) and all of them were superior

i'm not against N/V, but it's really hard for me to feel it, i just don't feel well that it could work (not considering the time when they were worker-drones and the Elliot's house, where they had a nice relationship) because of how V treats to N (and probably also because i didn’t like V at first). i'd like to see V act more trusting and open up to others so i can see for sure that her intentions are good (as i already feel that way, but i want to see it). at this point i feel more like V cares for him in a platonic way, she wants to protect him from bad things but her ways aren't really the best. instead of “figure out things together” and trusting him, she is closed and does not tell him what she knows. her ways are not the best, but i understand that she was trying to protect N from Uzi, since she saw that Uzi was possessed by Cyn and could harm N.

V, I still believe in you.

(demons possessed me to do this)

[ametistacollinsworld]

ღ V x AbsoluteSolver! Worker Drone Reader ღ

My 46 request! Hope you like!

◇───────◇───────◇

You were currently inside a bus, why? Well, we can say that Uzi wanted to go after Doll, but your teacher broke her sweet plans by having your whole class come together on this "cool camp trip".

You got off the bus behind Thad and Lizzy, followed by Uzi right behind. So, after Uzi and your teacher's little monologue, N and V had finally arrived, with your girlfriend already killing one of your classmates right off the bat. Cool.

Today would be a long day…

You approached V, seeing how she gave you a smile, then patted your head, ruffling your hair. You snorted, which made V give you a smirk.

So your camp day went by quickly, with N and V running ''fun activities'' for you guys while a certain female worker drone was missing…

You were just relaxing and talking with V, until you heard a loud scream, it sounded like it came from the forest…

'' I'm going to get there (Y/n), stay here '' V spoke in a serious tone, soon spreading her wings and flying without letting you answer. Until you hear gunshots and more screams- Surely V didn't seem to have everything in control-

So you started running, running towards the screams wanting to make sure your girlfriend was okay, and maybe your classmates too, but mostly your girlfriend.

You then arrived in a dark part of the forest, seeing a Uzi vampire mode holding your girlfriend who looked like she was in pain, which the Worker squeezing her around the neck not letting her go.

Your AbsoluteSolver immediately activated with that image, which you quickly threw Uzi against another tree, running towards her with unfriendly intentions, punching her in the face who was still a little dizzy.

Uzi snarled at you, quickly using her tail to bite your arm, throwing you to the side nearly ripping your arm off, which made you groan in pain. V finally got up, thus using a missile again against Uzi, making the Worker drone fly through the air for a short period of time.

You took advantage of this, jumping into some trees on impulse and finally delivering a big kick to Uzi's belly, sending it to an N that convenently finally arrived, who quickly caught her throwing her upwards with force.

While N was talking to Uzi in the skies, you and V were sitting in the snow, with you checking that V was okay.

'' You know you don't have to do this right? I have a good regeneration system for being a Disassembly Drone- '' V spoke in a low tone, seeing how worried you looked.

'' I know that…but I still don't think you were cut out to fight an angsty teenage vampire AbsoluteSolver- '' You spoke in a mocking tone, giving an eye roll when you saw V's goofy smile.

'' So worried about me like that? I could tell you were worrie~ '' V spoke in a fake teasing tone.

'' I'll pretend I didn't hear that and continue to be the good partner I am, unlike certain drones- '' You spoke in a soft tone, then giving a small smile seeing how V's smile fell, just trying to think of an answer, failing to come up with a good answer.

V was silent for the rest of the ride, she's probably thinking of a line to say back to you lol- We can say that you have succeeded for now.

[zv5x]

It's Pico timeeeeeeee!!!!!!! I always wanted to do some Yan!Pico for this blog, so here we go! I hope you all enjoy!!

Request status : open!

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

Your tortured ears could still hear him calling out your name, even with how far away you were from him. A small part of you knew that you shouldn't have even tried running away, that your efforts were in vein, and you were only tarnishing the trust of the man who could take and give your basic rights at will. But, the other part of you just couldn't ignore that unlocked door you felt he left for you by "mistake".

Pico tried telling you that you were miles from any sign of human society, and that was only if you happened to start running in the right direction after leaving your own personal prison. You forced yourself to think he was just bluffing, just filling you up with lies to discourage any possible escape attempts.

However, no matter your circumstances, no matter where you were or what you were going to do from here on out, you just couldn't stay there anymore. You just couldn't. The feeling of betrayal, isolation, vulnerability, you just couldn't take any of it anymore. You had to get out, get away from him.

Perhaps, in some sick twisted way, Pico was right. Perhaps you trying to escape was in fact futile. Perhaps your future really was with him.

No.

No, you repeated in your head like a broken record, swearing yourself to hell for even considering taking his side for more than a millisecond. He was a monster, and monsters never have good intentions. You already decided that he didn't really love you, even though he told you he did millions of times a day as he looked down at you like you were the most precious thing he had ever laid his eyes on. He had to just be playing with you, like some sick predator toying around with it's prey before he made the final killing blow. The game Pico was playing with you was sick, and you didn't want any part in it any longer.

You could feel that he was getting closer. You could hear the quickness and heaviness of his breath and the way he called out your name oh so desperately. Like you were being carried away by some third party and hauled away to a slaughterhouse. In all honesty, you'd much rather be in a place like that than be subjected further to Pico's sickeningly sweet affectionate gestures.

Suddenly, in a split second, as Pico sprinted quicker than he was before, he held out his arm in a motion you could not see. There was a loud popping noise, sounding similarly to that of a firework, and then you stumbled to the ground. Pico followed quickly behind, of course. He rushed to your side and crouched down to your level as the pain just started settling in. You looked over at where the pain seemed to be coming from, and your teary eyes widened as you saw the disturbing sight of red oozing from a hole in your ankle. Pico swore under his breath, quickly picking you up and throwing your body over his shoulders. Instinctively, knowing Pico was far more than just a simple threat to you, you banged on his back with your fists and thrashed and kicked with the only leg you could move (even though the pulsating pain in your ankle made such movements simply agonizing).

He shot you. That mother fucker shot you.

"Fuck, (Y/N)..." Pico sighed, his voice sounding more strained than it usually did. "Why can't you just fucking listen to me?!" Pico said, taking all the punches and kicks better than you expected him to. He was keeping a snake-level grip on you, which was impressive considering the circumstances.

Quiet sobs left your throat as Pico rubbed your back and gently shushed you. Your body seemed to fall limp, as you lost all will to fight him any more. It was over. You had your chance to escape, and you used it stupidly forgetting Pico carried an uzi around him all the time like a mother to a newborn. None of this was your fault of course, but you couldn't help but imagine how else this could've gone down with a little better planning and preparation. The thoughts only increased the sound of your sobs, which only made Pico's stress worse at the moment.

You could barely hear him mumble an apology to you, citing that everything was just to test if you really were loyal to him like you promised, and although he was saddened by the result he would still continue to love you unconditionally. It was the last thing you heard, before the pain in your ankle and the constant trauma your brain was desperate to have a break from lulled you off to a strangely comforting sleep.

You woke up with a slight ringing in your ears, though that quickly faded in favor of hearing pacing footsteps across the echoey basement floor. You internally sighed, as you had just gotten the privilege of upstairs access. Granted, being allowed upstairs should be considered a damn near basic human right, but you were in Pico's world now rather than your own. And in Pico's world, anything is justifiable if you lace your atrocities with half-assed "I love you"'s and "I'm sorry"'s.

Pico glanced over to you as he heard you groan, the chain that he apparently put on your leg making a slight jangling sound as you tried to stretch. He walked over to you and sat down on the floor, his face just about a foot away from yours.

"You know why you're here, right?" It was a simple question, and Pico would be satisfied with a weak nod or so, but you couldn't help but express your distaste for the situation, so only a muffled "go fuck yourself" seemed appropriate. Pico only hummed, brushing hair out of your face and arching an eyebrow at your pained, but still determined expression. "You're here because you won't listen. I didn't ask anything of you. All I wanted to do was keep you safe. There's a lot of people out there who wanna hurt you, you know? There's a lot of people who wanna hurt me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew I didn't do anything to keep you safe."

Pico was never one to trail off and leave his sentences long, but he couldn't help himself. You deserved at least some kind of an explanation, especially after you're being faced with the man who just shot you. In his defence, it was only in the ankle and it was only to stop you from running, but still.

"P...Pico...ple-" Your hoarse voice was cut as Pico placed a single finger against your lips and shushed you oh-so gently, your only response being a tiny whimper.

"You don't say a word doll, just let me take care of everything from now on. I'm gonna keep you safe, I promise..." Pico smiled a bright smile, which was the absolute last thing you expected from someone like him. "I love you, (Y/N)."

You were too stunned to speak, and his smiling lips twitched. "(Y/N), I love you." You gave him a weak smile back, and closed your eyes.

"I love you too Pico, thank you, for everything..."

Your throat burned at the words being spoken, but you spoke them with hope. Hope that maybe someday, somehow, there'd be a sliver of light at the end of this tunnel, and you'll live to see another sunrise without Pico.

Sure, it was nothing more than grainy aspirations and shattered dreams, but it was enough to keep you going, and that was something you appreciated to your core.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Genji Heavy Industries (Part 8) Laser Pointer

Hahahahahahhaahahahhaha....

*deep inhale*

Hahahahahahahahahaha

The three men leaned against the shrine panting heavily. You helped Caesar and Chu Zihang load bullets as fast as you could. While Chisei looked out at the flames in the hall. The corpse guard specimen at the end of the hall had burned down like a wax candle to reveal a dark golden skeleton.

“What happened to you?” Caesar asked.

“I was called to another elevator. When I got in, it lost power and took me down to the lowest floor basement.” You were so tired that your hands moved automatically while your eyes unfocused. You shake your head to clear your vision and that sends pain shooting through the middle of your skull. You squeeze one eye shut against the pain and keep going.

“You’re hurt?”

“No… it’s just sequelae. From using my Soul Skill earlier.” You wave him away.

“Where’s Lu Mingfei?” Caesar asks.

“I don’t know. I thought he would have made it through the elevator with you.”

“The earthquake stopped the elevator.” Chu Zihang stood up, holding his Uzi, and looking down at you with his golden gaze. “Was that you?”

“Yeah.” You brace yourself on Caesar’s shoulder and stand too. 

Caesar whistles long and low through his teeth.

“Reports are coming in saying it was 6.5 magnitude.”

“Oh… I was going for 7.0.” You smirk. “Pretty close.”

"How many C4 explosives do you have?" Chisei suddenly asked. 

"Fifteen pounds, but the explosion doesn't seem to seriously injure them. If C4 explosives can't hurt them, then 'Royal Flame' can't do it either." Chu Zihang said. 

"The shockwave of the explosion can't hurt them, but the flames could be fatal to them. Look at that corpse guard. Mermaid oil is very flammable. They can be their own best fuel." 

Chu Zihang was stunned: "But they didn't burn immediately in the explosion just now." 

"That's because they're alive and the corpse guards are dead. The corpse guards are dehydrated. The sphinxes still have a lot of water in their bodies. They have to be in the fire for a long time before they burn up! The Mural Hall is a completely enclosed space, and this is the best place for a fire!" Chisei exclaimed.

"Smothering the sphinxes? Not a bad idea. But they could escape. If they can get in through the elevator doors, they can get out through them." Caesar said. 

Chisei pointed above the elevator door: "Above this kind of door must be a steel bar supporting it, we put a piece of C4 explosive there, powerful enough to blow that steel bar, the wall will collapse down, they have no way to escape." 

Chu Zihang calculated: "We can use a delayed fuse. One that can explode in twenty seconds. That would be enough time for us to enter the elevator shaft and hide outside the explosion range." 

Caesar thought about it: "Then we have to lure the group of them deep into the hall. The more concentrated they are, the better the burning effect." 

"No problem, I'll act as bait." Chisei said. 

“Bait?” You looked to Caesar for answers.

“The blood of Chisei is extremely attractive to them. When he dripped it down the elevator shaft, that’s what brought them down here.”

You nod, understanding.

“What brought you here by the way?” Caesar was leading you away to the armory room. 

“Someone threw a flare. All the other elevator doors were closed. I figured this had to be the only one that was open.”

“Ah.”

Caesar shut the door of the armory. “Alright, suit up. This will be the big push.”

Chu Zihang and Caesar moved between the rows of shelves. You stay behind to lean against the wall. “Give me a minute.”

It occurred to you that this might be the point where you died and whenever your life was in danger, you felt a deep appreciation of your own body. You remembered this feeling of fatigue when you pulled a sledge full of wood through feet of snow. You walked until your thoughts faded away, ignoring the pain and hunger and thirst, one foot after the other. Your body carried you. And thanks to your dragon blood, you recovered quickly to get up the next day.  So you knew this body was tired. But as soon as it ate and drank and got a nice rest it would perk up again.

But the one thing you could give it now was oxygen. You take slow deep breaths, filling your lungs completely, holding it a bit, and then emptying them completely. Your lungs would take that oxygen and revive your muscles for the fight.

Already, you could feel yourself reviving and stretched your arms over your head, feeling the rush of blood to your tissues. You rolled your shoulder and remembered lying on the floor looking up into the eyes of Z.

Z made you break that tank for a reason. You doubted it was to kill you and that gave you hope.

Caesar moved to the door and leaned against it to rest, running his hand over two rifles. 

 The bone-chilling, eerie sound of a giant python sliding against the ground came from behind the door. The group of sphinxes has invaded the mural hall. The only thing separating you from them is a layer of carved wooden doors. With strength like theirs, breaking such a door was no  effort, but this group of low IQ beasts has not yet noticed this room. After mutating, some Death Servitors will gain superb vision, hearing or smell, but the snake versions don’t get significant enhancements to their senses. Their golden pupils look hideous but they actually have weak vision. They have a sharp sense of smell but they’re intoxicated by the smell of blood in the hot air of the mural hall. As for hearing, these have basically zero. They’re more attuned to ground vibrations. As long as you stay still, they will have a hard time finding your hiding place. 

"What's their approximate number?" Chu Zihang asked in a low voice. 

Caesar’s eyes flared golden and the Scythe Itachi went out.

"More than a hundred. All of them have entered the mural hall and the elevator shaft has been cleared. They're eating the dead. I can hear them chewing away at the muscles, disgusting." Caesar said softly, "What's your assessment of the combat power of these snake-like dead men?" 

Chu Zihang thought for a moment. "A grade. Speed exceeds that of a zebra, tearing power is close to that of a lion. Strong cellular activity, so wounds heal quickly. The most vulnerable parts are the heart, head and nervous system. Severed limbs are nothing to them.” 

Caesar nodded: "I also think it is A-class. One on one with them, we’d have a disadvantage.”

You finally move to go arm yourself. “They’re dumb as hell, though. So there’s that.” You say.

The two men fall silent. “Did you fight them?” Caesar asked.

“Yeah.” You wrap a new belt that will fit multiple weapons onto your waist and cinch it up. These belts were made for men, so you have to use a knife to make a hole for the buckle. “Well… technically no. I made them fight each other.”

“How is that possible? You’re not even hurt!” Caesar looked you up and down. “And you still had plenty of rounds.”

“Well… I used my C4 detonator.” You tilt your head, unsure of what he wanted you to say. “I mean if they want to eat each other, I’m not going to get in the way of that.”

“Perhaps an S-ranked hybrid could take them on.” Chu Zihang said, thoughtfully.

It wasn’t like you were unprepared to fight those beasts. But how could you tell them that the ghost of your dead boyfriend appeared in an elevator to Hell and you went on a date with them in front of the big holding tank? The whole thing sounded silly. You knew how to fight them because Z had shown you how. But there was no way to communicate that.

"Do you trust that Japanese guy? He wouldn't have run away by now, would he?" Caesar asked in a low voice. 

"Since I chose to cooperate, I can only trust him, right?" Chu Zihang shrugged.

"It's rare for such a gullible character to have survived to this day." Caesar shrugged back, "He is something that bleeds dragon blood. Dragons are creatures without feelings. If their strength overwhelms you, they will definitely devour you." 

Chu Zihang did not speak again. 

"Okay, okay, I have no intention of figuring that girl out. To say the least, I quite liked her. She was so pretty ...... But it's best not to trust something that bleeds dragon blood." Caesar took a deep breath. 

You let out a breath. In a way, you agreed with Caesar. Z’s yellow eyes gave you a mix of fear and fascination. His kiss made your heart race. You always knew he was scheming something, but you never knew if it was good or bad or had nothing to do with you. And yet you couldn’t help but love it when he laughed. Was what you felt love? Whatever it was, it sure felt good. HIs hands in your hair in front of the holding tank. It felt good.

Your eyes suddenly went wide. “Bait.”

The memory of Z playing with the beasts using a laser pointer flashes through your mind and your face breaks out into a smile. You start pacing the shelves, looking up and down. “Did you guys see a laser sight anywhere in here?”

“What do you need that for? You’re a good shot.” Caesar asked.

“Yes, I need it for something else.”

“There should be one on an AK-47…” Chu Zihang said.

“I found it.” The name AK-47 stood for Avtomat Kalashnikova. It was a Soviet rifle and one you were familiar with, but this specimen looked like it was taken right from your childhood. It was aged, worn and a little rusted. Just like the one you used to use. You picked it up reverently, staring at it in silence while your heart filled with a strange warmth, like the sun coming up for the first time after a long winter night. Your hands caress the laser sight tenderly.

While many women were moved by cards, roses, jewelry and sweets, what moved your heart was the sight of this laser on a Kalashnikov. With this laser, you could live. You unscrew it and hold it to your heart with a smile coming over your face.

You turn to Caesar and Zihang who are eyeing you warily. But you can’t stop smiling. “Okay, I’m going to mark one of them with the Anesthesia bullet dye okay? Don’t kill that one.”

Z. He was a genius… You chuckle and join the boys at the door.

"Are you ready?" Caesar sighs softly.

You nod. You’re smiling as you load a single Frigga bullet into your empty pistol.  “Remember, don’t kill the one I mark!”

"Then let’s start!" Caesar slapped the button to open the door and stepped out in a big way. 

A Deadpool was lying on the overhang in front of the weapons hall door. Reflex speed multiplied after the snake mutation, so it immediately struck at the back of Caesar's neck. But Caesar had already determined its position through the use of Scythe Itachi and fired upward with his shotgun. The Deadpool Sphinx fell to its back.

The shotgun was extremely powerful but not penetrating enough. After the wounded creature landed, it rolled to get up and recoiled to strike again. Chu Zihang's crossbow penetrates its abdomen to pin it to the ground, and the two Sten submachine guns fired into its forehead until the two cartridges were empty. 

"No wonder everyone in the academy says you're a killer. I really like your kind of execution style." Caesar dropped the shotgun and pulled out two Sten submachine guns from the carry pouch behind Chu Zihang. 

"I'm not interested in bloodshed, but I know that showing mercy to something like this will only get us killed." Chu Zihang's right hand drew up another gun from the backpack Caesar carried. Chu Zihang carried Caesar’s guns and vice versa. It was a nice way to keep efficiently armed.  Chu Zihang looked at you in curiosity.

You weren’t using the laser sight to aim, but wiggled it against the ground as though fishing, whispering to yourself. “Heeere, Kitty, Kitty. Come here… I know you’re here…”

One of the deadpool that looked female with an ample golden chest and pretty eyes saw the red dot and opened her jaw ninety degrees to scream bloody-murder. Her eyes were as big as dinner plates. She slid her snake tail vigorously, physically pushing other beasts out of the way and leaving long gashes on them.

“There you are! Gotcha!” You fire a single anesthesia bullet. The red dye smashes between her eyes and paints her face crimson, clearly marking her. She covers her face with her claws in annoyance and wails in fury, associating the red dot with getting hit with a paintball.

You wiggle the dot in a zigzag pattern and she pounces on it with the anger of seven devils. Once you were sure you had her hooked, you scroll the red dot on the face of one of the deadpools who blinks once against the blinding laser light before its head is bitten clean in half by the female.

The spectacular result sends a burst of laughter from you. You loved him. You didn’t care if it wasn’t really love as others defined it. You loved Z. This was fun. This was fantastic!

You wiggled the point of light until she saw it again. She paused in confusion for a moment, her eyes burning brighter and brighter, then she was off again, galloping after the red dot and smashing into another of her own kind. The red dot danced on the back of her poor victim who had no idea that the attack was coming. The female deadpool with the red-dyed face tore through scales, muscle tissue and bone like a woodchipper.

Your laughter filled the whole burning temple. They were stupid! They were so stupid!

You had turned the female deadpool into a terror of her own kind. As she mowed through the crowded mural hall like a living blender, she left a trail of wounded behind her. The Deadpool, who were too cannibalistic and mindless to remember why they were there, immediately started to tear each other apart as soon as one smelled the blood of the other. 

It was an absolute bloodbath and you had only fired one non-lethal shot.

Caesar and Chu Zihang looked at you in stunned amazement. You looked back at them, crying with laughter. You didn’t have a birthday, but this was like a present, the best present you’d ever received. Z had buried this little Easter egg in the ground, hoping you’d find it. It was for you. No one else would get the joke!

[beardedgoateellama]

Mod Gta San Andreas For Mac

San Andreas is arguably the best Grand Theft Auto game ever made.

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Macetes Mod Gta San Andreas

GTA San Andreas Mac 11 'Converted' Mod was downloaded 5233 times and it has 10.00 of 10 points so far. Download it now for GTA San Andreas!

But with the game being so many years old, it’s only natural for players to look for mods in order to spice up their experience in this GTA – especially with the countless new features that we had on GTA IV and GTA V.

Today I come to you with the best mods that you can install to make GTA San Andreas feel like a completely different game.

Download GTA San Andreas Mods: modifications, new weapons, missions, textures, scripts, and other cool new mods for GTA San Andreas.

The GTA SA Mods category contains a wide variety of mods for GTA San Andreas: from script mods and new buildings to new sounds and many other types of modifications. There are almost no limits and this way you can completely change the environment in Los Santos. Besides funny modifications there are also some that will turn you into superheroes.

Reinvigorate your San Andreas experience with these fantastic mods and see how much the game changes – I’m sure you’ll love the new gameplay afterward!

Also if this is the first time that you’re installing mods, let me remind you that it’s better to make a backup save of your game files before installing them.

Be sure to make backup saves every time you install new mods as well, as some of them might not be entirely compatible with one another and it could corrupt your files.

Furthermore you’ll need to install CLEO if you want most of the mods on this list to work. I’ve put it at the number one spot on my list so check it out!

30. Tuning Mod

The Tuning Mod is a fantastic modification for all vehicle enthusiasts out there.

It allows you to tune your cars like no other mod in the community, rivaling and even surpassing the tuning system of GTA V.

Modify the way tuning works in the game and give yourself a new car once you’ve installed this mod.

29. Skin Selector

I’m putting this mod here instead of any skin mod because you’ll need it to change the way CJ looks.

It basically lets you open up a menu that will allow you to browse through all of the skin mods that you’ve installed, so you can change the way CJ looks in-game.

28. HD Weapons

This amazing mod pack changes the way every single weapon in San Andreas looks.

It replaces all of the basic models that come with the vanilla game and turns them into the same weapons, but with an HD look to them all.

The UZI model looks particularly good, although all additions to the game are very well made.

It does seem like making this mod took a lot of time, but the effort of the creator was worth it.

The results speak on their own, and I’m sure you’ll love these new guns as much as I did. It makes everything feel new in an otherwise old game.

27. Teleport Mod

I find it hilarious how this mod uses the Portal logo as its own, given that it literally works nothing like Portal.

It’s still a really useful mod, though, as it basically adds quick travelling to the game.

Open up your map, place a marker, and once you unpause the game CJ will directly teleport to the spot that you marked.

CJ initially screams as if he was falling, but don’t worry – it’s just the map loading. You won’t take any fall damage!

26. New Effects V1

Are you tired of looking at the same and really old effects of San Andreas? I was too!

This mod changes the way water, light, fire, and interactions with other natural objects work in the game, to make everything look better and modernize San Andreas a tad more.

You will notice how many of the mods on my list are related to the graphics of the game, and that’s to be expected.

San Andreas is super old and many people don’t play it mainly because of its outdated graphics.

Some modders have come to create some fantastic graphical changes to the game, and I want to share them with you. I know you’ll love them as much as I did.

25. Collection of Graphic Mods

As its name suggests, the Collection of Graphic mods makes enhancements to the way the game looks by changing up a bunch of textures, shadowing, and lighting to make it look better and a bit more modern.

It’s a cool little overhaul that will improve the way your San Andreas game looks without breaking the natural aesthetics that made it such a popular title back in the early 2000s.

24. Wheels Pack

San Andreas is a pretty old game, so you probably already tried all of the wheels that the game has in the tuning stores for you.

I was tired of looking at the same tires too, so this mod came to be pretty handy for me.

It basically adds a bunch of additional tires that you can put in your cars once you visit any of the tuning shops across the dangerous city of SA.

23. Ghost Rider Mod

Mod Gta San Andreas Mac

Are you tired of associating an amazing character like Ghost Rider with Nicolas Cage?

Trust me, me too.

Something had to be done about it, and this is the mod to completely wash your Caged Ghost Rider image by turning CJ into the popular Marvel anti-hero.

Ride the streets of San Andreas and wreak havoc among them with the outfit and powers of the mighty Ghost Rider.

You will be able to see the flames on the skull as well as in the tires of your mighty ride. It looks awesome apart from being a cool gameplay change, so give it a shot and prepare to enjoy some of the most hilarious cutscenes in GTA.

22. The Best Sound Pack for GTA San Andreas

This mod is a complete overhaul to the sounds of San Andreas.

It adds so many sounds that you won’t even believe that it’s the same game if you cover your eyes while playing it (no idea why would you do that, but hey, to each their own).

This mod changes the sounds of explosions, cop cars, car breaks, opening doors, and much more.

If you’re tired of listening to the same sounds for years, this mod will provide you with a fantastic relief that will guarantee you to stay hooked to San Andreas for a little bit more.

21. Holes from Bullets

I have always hated how bullets seem to bounce off cars after damaging them in the old GTA games.

Yes, I even hated that back in the days when this game was the hottest title in the market – I don’t know why, but hey, there’s a reason why this seemingly pointless addition has made its way to a spot on my list.

It simply adds bullet holes to your shots, so whenever you hit a car, for example, you’ll see the spot where the bullet landed. It’s pretty cool!

20. V Graphics

V Graphics, as its name suggests, was made with the intention of giving you the graphical feel of GTA V in the world of San Andreas.

It’s a pretty complex graphical overhaul of the game, and you’ll need a decent computer to run it, but it’s super worth it if you can do it.

Combine this baby with a texture mod and you won’t notice a difference in visuals between San Andreas and GTA V.

Maybe even download a mod to turn CJ into Franklin or Michael and change the way the San Andreas story unfolds by looking at it from a different perspective.

19. GTA United

GTA United replaces the entire city of San Andreas with none other than Liberty City and Vice City, in a complete overhaul of the game map.

It adds new side missions to the game as well as Easter Eggs that could be found in the two predecessors of the famous San Andreas game.

This isn’t a canon mod by any means, but it will help you reminisce with two of the most emblematic maps that have graced our old TV screens and computers.

As far as San Andreas map mods go this one takes the cake.

18. Gravity Gun

Man, this is one of the most overpowered gun mods that I’ve seen made for the Grand Theft Auto series in general.

You can use the gravity gun to bring people towards you and throw them back to where you’re aiming at unfathomably rapid speed.

If you love canon mods, then you’re going to despise this one. Looking for some fun, though?

Go through the story of San Andreas using this baby. You won’t regret it – trust me.

17. Insanity Vegetation

This beautiful mod enhances every plant texture in the game to make vegetation look as great as in some modern games.

But I do warn you – be sure to download other graphical enhancement mods if you’re going to install Insanity Vegetation.

If you don’t it’s just going to look super weird watching a bunch of HD plants in an otherwise SD environment.

16. Weapon Menu Mod

The Weapon Menu Mod simply brings up a menu where you can choose whichever weapon you want in the game and instantly spawn it for CJ.

Gta San Andreas Play

It’s not cheating if you’re using a mod, am I right?

Regardless of how you want to use this mod, it’s a very practical tool that will help you get your hands in the game’s finest as well as least desired guns. Use it wisely!

15. Ultimate Graphics Mod

If your computer isn’t capable of handling high-quality graphics, this is the best mod that you can download when tired of the traditional San Andreas look.

It enhances the way texture load in the game, and even though it does improve everything substantially, it’s still suited to be used in low-end computers.

I believe this is possible mainly because shadows tend to be the one thing that computers struggle to handle (like Minecraft shaders, for example).

This mod adds a ton of graphical enhancements, but keeps shadows to a very low level of quality. It makes everything look great, but it doesn’t compromise the memory usage of your PC. Just what I need.

14. Textures for GTA SA

This sweet mod enhances the way the graphics of roads and streets look in the game.

It basically adds new textures to every single street in San Andreas to make the whole gaming look smoother, something that couldn’t be added back in the days of the release of the game because computers and consoles couldn’t handle higher resolutions in the game files.

Times have changed, though. And this is just one of the many mods that completely enhances the game graphically.

Combine it with others to make San Andreas some justice and modernize the way the game feels, at least in a visual sense!

13. Iron Man Mod

So, apparently, it wasn’t Tony Stark who created the Iron Man suit, and it somehow made its way to the streets of San Andreas.

How dangerous could be a gangster dressed up in the most powerful body armor ever created by mankind?

It’s up to you to write the fate of the people of San Andreas as well as the fate of your own foes, as you’ll be able to harness your favorite Iron Man powers and use them in San Andreas thanks to this ridiculously well-made mod!

12. Dragon Ball Mod

Why play with CJ in a world where you can simply download this mod and become Goku, or even Vegeta, the Prince of all Saiyans?

Press a couple of buttons after installing this fantastic mod and use your favorite Dragon Ball characters to wreak havoc through in San Andreas and bring misfortune to the citizens of this seemingly-cursed city.

Fly around, use ki blast to attack, and take advantage of the super-strength of these Dragon Ball characters to give your GTA San Andreas save a twist like no other mod can give you (except maybe the Iron Man or Superman mods, but you get my point).

11. Skateboard Mod

Oh man, this one is really well done.

The Skateboard mod will allow you to pick up a skateboard and roll around the streets of San Andreas like Tony Hawk would do in an alternate reality where he’s actually a drug dealer.

You would think that making such a complex mod work well wouldn’t be too easy, but the movement of CJ with this mod is so smooth that it makes you think that it’s a vanilla feature.

Gta San Andreas Mod Macchine

10. Car Spawner

Ugh, don’t you guys hate it when you want to spawn a car but you need to input some annoying code to activate it?

I hate it too, and that’s why this mod has come in as handy as they get.

It basically adds a whole new menu to the game, which allows you to instantly select a car and spawn it by just hitting one button. Pretty simple, right?

It’s great if you’re looking to spawn yourself some sweet rides and just enjoy the game for a bit!

9. Street Love

Alright, let’s get this one out of the way, as it definitely needs to have a spot on this list.

Let’s cut the explanation straight to the point as well: Street Love is a lovey-dovey making mod for GTA San Andreas.

Yes, you’ll be able to use CJ (or with your friendly neighbor Spiderman, if you have the mod installed) and screw around with digital chicks.

8. Superman Mod

CJ does know how to take bullets like Superman in the original game, as he could’ve gotten shot 10 times and just barely flinch.

However the Superman mod allows you to take things to the next level and actually become Superman in your game!

Fly around, use your super strength, and murder civilians as it would happen in a dark DC alternate universe.

7. Car Pack for San Andreas

San Andreas has been around for far too long, and I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of seeing the same cars over and over again.

There are some car mods that you can download, which will install them directly into the game. But you may also use this pack to get a bunch of them added instantly to your San Andreas safe.

Gone are the days of seeing the same cars pass time and time again – it’s time to spice up your game with a plethora of new rides!

6. Parkour Mod

The fantastic Parkour Mod allows CJ to perform true acrobatic moves without getting interrupted in the air.

Combine the essence of Assassin’s Creed with San Andreas and experience being a true gangster while also knowing a thing or two about street athleticism like it wasn’t originally possible in the game.

It really does spice up the game, and it’s actually hilarious seeing CJ perform many of these unexpected moves!

5. Portal Gun for GTA San Andreas

The Teleport mod that we mentioned above is cool and all, but why not bring the essence of GLaDOS to GTA San Andreas if you have the chance?

Sure, this mod will not take you from one corner of San Andreas to the other, but it will enable you to create portals, much as you do in the Portal games!

This mod is fantastic to be installed if you loved the famous puzzle-solvers, and it does enrich your San Andreas experience like no other mod on this list.

4. Memory Update for San Andreas

San Andreas was made to be run in old computers as well as the PS2 and the Xbox, which meant that the game was very limited in terms of how much memory it was allowed to use.

This mod updates the core GTA San Andreas mechanics and makes the game work with all of the power that modern computer has. Which enables your game to load much more of the map, increasing your viewing distance by almost as much as GTA V allows you to have.

Definitely worth trying in my opinion.

3. GTA V Hud for San Andreas

Weapon swapping in the early GTA games was a nightmare. There’s just no other way around it.

Gone are the days where you scroll past the weapon that you actually wanted to select, though!

This mod brings you the ultimate experience of the famous wheel weapon selector that was introduced in the PS3 and Xbox 360, and I’m therefore bringing it to you now.

2. San Andreas First Person Mod

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Rockstar enabled first-person gameplay when GTA V got its current-gen console release, but San Andreas never really had it and people were still playing the game, which is not really fair to them.

Some of these mods might even look better if you were to play in first person, don’t you think?

I do too, and that’s why this mod takes such a high spot on my list.

It basically enables you to play San Andreas like never before, so you can see how CJ truly feels across the story.

You’ll also be able to play around as Iron Man or Spiderman in first person, were you to install the respective mods that enable you to do so, but bear in mind that this mod was made to work with vanilla SA.

1. CLEO 4

The CLEO 4 Mod takes the first spot on my list because it basically enables most of the mods that I’ve mentioned before, all at once.

It unlocks many features that the game didn’t initially come with and allows modders to alter certain features of the game that weren’t meant to be altered in the initial release.

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The original version of this mod allowed most modders to work with new tools, and completely overhaul San Andreas with new ideas of their own.

The revolutionary nature of this fantastic add-on rightfully earns it the first place on the list. And you will probably need it if you want many of the others to work so it’s almost like the framework of all San Andreas modding.

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[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 3)

N followed Uzi at her side as they made their way through the maze of hallways that was the bunker. If he hadn't, he might have gotten lost.

“I think this place gets bigger every time I come here.” He pointed out, taking one step for every two of hers, he wasn't going to point that out though, lest she poke him.

Yes, poke, maybe shove or lightly punch. But he'd come to realize that when it came to the people she cared about, she didn't choose violence. Don't get him wrong, Uzi would often choose violence when it was an option, case in point; railgun. But when it came to him, and V to an extent, her mouth was the most dangerous thing about her.

That and maybe her tail, which did often actually bite.

“It's a maze on purpose, Dad thought it might throw you guys off to buy us time.” She hummed absent-mindededly, thinking as she lead him through yet another cross-section.

“It would definitely work on me. I'm already lost.” He laughed a little, looking over at her.

Her visor was lit up in an almost frown, eyebrows together in either concern or disappointment, her tongue was out again, which meant she was focused intently on something. N was always in awe of how she was always thinking, although she often overthought and made herself upset, he hoped that's not what she was doing.

His eyes drifted to the way she played with the ball joints of her own fingers, like she always had to have something in her hand, her tongue switched sides and her eyelights scrunched up, obviously trying to work through something in her head.

Cute… wait what?

“Oh! Crap I almost passed it. Here we are.” She stopped abruptly, causing N to nearly trip to avoid careening into her, there was a thick, fogged window looking into the nursery, where he could see a few blurry shapes of pillbabies recharging in their cribs.

“Ooooh! Babies!” N's eyes grew exceptionally wide, almost as if they had stars in them, his tail wagged behind him, his hands cupping his face and a squeal threatening to spill from his mouth.

“Yeah, probably here while thier parents are working. Come on, you can see them better inside.” She opened the heavy door with a swoosh, and a gust of sterilized air hit them both.

“I'm allowed inside? Wouldn't they… be afraid of me?” N took a step back, holding the wire of his tail in his hands, looking anywhere but her eyes. Thinking about how some of the workers still looked at him with fear.

“N, it's fine. And if they're not fine with it I'll make them fine.” Her tone shifted from soft to rough, and her fist balled to make her point. And, almost reluctantly, he followed her, head frantically taking in every single detail of the room.

The drone at the front desk wasn't paying attention. Wore glasses, and seemed to be from the same generation of drone as Uzi's Dad, with the slightly boxier body type typical from that generation. Her eyelights were a deep orange, and she was skimming through a magazine.

“Uh, Mrs. Rayn? It's Uzi, I'm back.” Uzi's voice seemed to immediately lack the bite it had a moment ago. And the elder drone peered over her glasses, first to Uzi, then to the disassembly drone awkwardly standing behind her. He smiled, trying not to look any kind of threatening. His tail wagging slightly.

“Not sure we can combine you two, and I'm not sure Khan would want me to…”

Oh robo-jesus-

“No! Uhm… No. I'm just here to pick up more oil! N wanted to see the babies…” Both of their faces exploded in blush, their eyes flicking over at each other briefly, which somehow made both their blushes far worse.

What would that even look like? Would they be a worker drone? A disassembly drone? Both? Would they have Uzi's eyes? His yellow ones? Inherit his white ones? Or would the colors mix and be brown? Or pink? Did it even work like that?

He should probably stop thinking about that…

“Ahhh, good! You two are a little young for that anyway. Uzi, you should have been good for another week! Is your condition getting worse?” She asked, and she immediately reminded N of a grandmother, voice soft, kindly, but crackly from age.

“No. N had to stay over at my house and was overheating, he needs a lot more than I do.” She gestured to him, which caused another nervous beaming smile to grace his face. He gave a small wave in return.

“I see…” Mrs. Rayn hummed, typing something up on the computer sitting in front of her. Every so often she would glance up at N, looking over her glasses, N felt as if he was being studied.

“Right, Uzi Doorman, upping your supply to five cans, instead of three. Just in case your “friend” happens to need to stay again.” She said as if she fully believed it would be happening more often, though neither young drone could discern why.

“N, was it?” She turned to him, making him jump, he nodded, his old worker programming forcing him to slightly bow, which would have been deeper had he not forcefully stopped himself.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied, taking a step forward, beads of sweat dripping down the inside of his visor.

“It's nice to meet you young man. If you ever need something, you come to me. Alright?” She smiled kindly at him, and his nerves immediately relaxed, and the next smile that came from him was far more natural.

“Thank you. I'll keep that in mind Ma’am”

“Well aren't you polite. Half the men here could learn a thing or two from you.” She gave a soft chuckle, motioning to the door that lead to the little dronelings.

“You're welcome to see them, just be careful. Let me go fetch what you need.” With that she was off towards the back, N noticed she heavily favored one foot over the other. Huh.

But an immediate distraction came in the form of pillbabies. He nearly sprinted, but felt Uzi grab his arm to stop him. Like it was a command from his own system, he stopped immediately.

“Careful, remember? Pills are made out of silicon, so they're squishy. They're also really sensitive to sound, so shhhh…” She explained, leading him into the nursery at a much slower pace. He nodded in understanding, keeping his tail tight against the floor to keep it safe and away from the tiny dronelings.

After realizing he was going much slower, she released him, finding a seat in one of the waiting chairs and crossing her arms, watching him as he made his way over to the closest baby.

It was so, so small, which he knew, but seeing one up close instead of in pictures didn't do it justice, the whole thing could fit in the palm of his hand. This one had white eyelights, but was currently in sleep mode, three little z's appearing and blinking on the little ones visor.

He smiled warmly, suppressing the urge to touch the little pill. He didn't want to disturb it, or hurt it for that matter.

The next one was green, and while it wasn't asleep it also didn't seem to be too concerned with his presence, too focused on dimming and relighting its eyes, N found himself chuckling, but moving on.

The last droneling was tucked into the corner, and as he approached he noticed that this one was actively looking at him, intently actually. And their eyes were a deep lavender, a shade lighter than Uzi's.

“Hey kiddo…” He wasn't sure what made him want to speak to it, maybe it was the eyelights, or the way it was staring at him. But he got the impression it wanted his attention.

The baby giggled, a smile appearing on it's screen as it began to rock from side to side. If it had arms, they would be reaching up at him.

“You're a happy one.” He felt Uzi come up next to him, her being a fair bit warmer than other drones, and he'd nearly memorized the sound of her footsteps by now.

“This one looks like how you did!” He pointed out quietly, trying his best not to disturb the others, Uzi didn't reply, instead leaning over the side of the metal crib.

“She's unclaimed… look.” She pointed to a tag at the foot of the crib. A pink tag saying “unclaimed” mocked him. Dang, how'd he not notice that?

“Oh… what does that mean?”

“It means her parents haven't come back to pick her up yet.” Uzi sounded concerned, her hand hovered over the pills chassis, before looking even more concerned.

“She's too warm, no one's fed her in awhile…” she looked from side to side, as if making sure no one was around, before gently picking up the small pill in her arms, something that seemed practiced, and natural.

“Oh no… do you think something happened to her parents?” N now shared her concern, although a part of him felt extremely giddy watching his normally edgy best freind hold a baby so gently. He wasn't sure why, but it made his core feel warm.

“Unless V went back on her word. I don't see what could have happened.” Uzi replied back, seemingly instinctually rocking the baby gently, one hand on top of the little one, holding her steady.

The little pill continued to smile up at her, giggling but eyelights getting droopy, and she stopped trying to roll to either side. His best freinds eyes softened, a small smile creeping up onto her face.

“So…?”

“You can sometimes make a baby accidentally… leaving a portion of your code in someone. She might have been dumped here after her parents got her a body…” She explained, glancing around the room, searching for something.

“Theres a bottle station over there, she needs some oil. Could you bring me one?” She motioned to a dispenser near the door, the picture was of a plastic bottle with a very narrow black tip.

“Yeah, okay.” He closed the distance rather quickly, clicking the very clearly marked button on the dispenser and a very small plastic bottle fell into his hand. As well as… a siphon?

“What now?” He asked, handing it to her. And she sighed, lifting up her hoodie and undershirt to expose bare chassis.

N’s head snapped away, being reminded of her displeasure of him being naked, Uzi looked up at him and looked nervous, and embarrassed.

“I'm not stripping in front of you N, I'm trying to open a panel on my side.” She explained, holding the baby in one hand, and opening a small panel on her side with the other, sticking the siphon into it, which caused her to jolt.

“Agh… been awhile.” She murmured, pumping the siphon with the hand pump, after a few seconds, warm oil began to fill the bottle.

“Woah… what?” N was mesmerized, watching her fill the bottle with her own oil, and also at the ease and familiarity she seemed to do it with. It was also his first introduction to a side panel, did all the workers have those? He knew he didn't.

“I used to volunteer here. When mom was still alive. We both did.” She explained, sounding rather sad for a moment, before shaking her head. “Babies need warm oil, usually filtered by their mother since they can't yet. But, I'm all that's here right now so…”

The bottle was filled, and she pinched the siphon, wincing as she pulled it out, before sighing.

“Ugh, that wasn't painful before…” She trailed off, moving her hoodie back in place and training her eyes back on the droneling. Softly scratching the silicon of the chassis.

The baby made a raspberry, seemingly enjoying the feeling.

“Yeah… it tickles, right?” Her voice suddenly went sugary sweet, so much so N felt a blush light up his face, it was like it was made of caramel, gentle and kind and deeply maternal. He wasn't even aware her voice could go that soft.

“There's that panel.” She opened a small panel on the pillbaby's front, where there was a small opening where N assumed the bottle would go.

She tipped the bottle into the opening, and the baby's eyes flickered shut, seemingly enjoying the coolant, Uzi seemed to be lost in the moment, nodding her head as a coo that sounded almost unnatural came out of her mouth.

N stayed uncharacteristically silent, watching the scene before him while an ocean of different emotions ran through him. Curiosity, both about pillbaby anatomy and Uzi's time with her mom. Awe, at her competence at this, how confidently she had taken control of a concerning situation. And how soft her voice was whenever she spoke to the droneling, it made the sensors on the back of his neck stand up, filling him with a warmth he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before.

“Oh! There you two are. I thought you'd have had your fill by now.” Mrs. Rayn popped in though the door with a bag in her hand, five canisters of oil bouncing around inside, her face fell on Uzi, who was still looking at her task; feeding the baby.

“Well that's a sight I'd never thought I'd see again…” She said, trailing off when Uzi looked up sheepishly. A blush invading her face as she caught up with reality.

“She was too warm, old insinct took over. Sorry, I know non-volunteers aren't supposed to donate…”

“No it's quite alright, that one was printed out about a week ago. Parents were young, younger than you two. They haven't been back.” She looked sad, hobbling over to the two younger drones, and motioning to take the baby from Uzi's arms.

For a split second, N saw Uzi try to pull away, as if she wanted to keep the baby away from her. But that was gone a moment later, and she placed the droneling into her arms, the look on her face was indecipherable.

“It happens sometimes. Another week and she'll be put up for adoption, where someone who really wants her can take care of her.” The bottle was empty, and the pillbaby seemed to now be dozing off, purple eyelights dimming.

“Thank you for donating. My oil is getting a little stale at my age!” She laughed, though still smiled at them kindly, before looking at N curiously.

“Did you want to hold her?” She asked and her jumped in surprise. Raising his hands like he was defending himself.

“No! Well yes, but I'm afraid I'll hurt her and-” the baby was placed in his arms, shutting him up immediately, well aside from the “Oh Biscuits…” that came out in a whimper as he cradled them.

Uzi was right, she was warm, but N's sensors indicated she was beginning to cool down, she was also right about her being slightly squishy, as he felt her vents taking in air, and her silicon skin indenting even on a surface as soft as his overcoat sleeve.

He felt as if he had something priceless and oh so very fragile in his hands and he froze, his brain stuck between “this is the cutest thing in the world” and “don't screw up, please don't screw up”.

“You getting sleepy?” He asked, he didn't notice both woman next to him smile at his voice, or the way his tail began to wag as the baby sleepily smiled at him. He rocked them, much like Uzi had done, and slowly three z's appeared on her visor, and she rolled into the fur of his coat.

His core felt heavy, like it was made of solid lead. He felt tears prick on the edges of his visor as he looked up. Holding her close, he could feel a tiny core buzzing.

“She's the cutest thing ever!” He whisper-screamed. Causing both women to smile at him. Uzi's somehow looked bigger, with a look in her eyes that N hadn't seen before, but it made him swell with a warm sense of pride.

“You have good instinct, I hear it in your voice.” Mrs. Rayn said, smiling almost as if she knew something he didn't, though it didn't matter, his eyes were fixed on the droneling in his arms once again.

“I don't… understand how anyone could leave her.” At this, he felt something else rise in his chest, something angry, and protective, still warm but almost unpleasantly so.

“Young people make mistakes, sometimes they rush into things they're not ready for.” She replies sadly, Uzi looked away at her words, crossing her arms, her face falling into something that looked deliberative if not sad.

“Does she have a name?” He asked, reluctantly handing the small child back to the older woman. He could almost still feel the little ones core buzzing against him.

“Tera is what I've been calling her. But once she's adopted that's bound to change.”

“Tera…” He said under his breath, as if tasting the word, a small smile broke through. His eyes lingered on the sleeping pillbaby, before they landed on Uzi, who was taking the bag from Mrs. Rayn with a very polite “Thank you.”

Uzi was beginning to head towards the door, bag in hand, waving goodbye to Mrs. Rayn, who was placing Tera back into her crib. N followed, but not before giving a little wave to the tiny pill.

“Goodnight Tera.”

Next ->

[cadpadawan]

Day #5 - A Song that needs to be played LOUD!

There are a few spesific genres, to which you simply cannot do full justice without blasting the songs at full volume, such as techno, trance, drum & bass, and most metal genres. I highly doubt that there is any additional value to be unveiled in, say, cocktail jazz, lounge and ambient wall-paper music, by turning the volume knob up a notch. Certain uptempo rock anthems also are best experienced with the volume cranked up to 11, in the best Spinal Tap fashion. I'm not sure, where I should start with today's music challenge, though... the multitude of options present quite a challenge, once again. Maybe I could set the record straight, for once and for all, by picking one epitome of loud-assedness for each genre. Most of my personal trance favourites date back to the golden era around the turn of the millennia. It was, quite frankly, relatively peculiar time in my life, to say the least, what with the dubious number of music projects, McJobs, doomed attempts to study for a profession that inherently was not suited for my creative spritit etc... It was a frigging, never-ending rollercoaster ride, so it was only appropriate, that the soundtrack for my adolescent dumb-fuckery consisted mainly of the epic trance classics of the era. A common characteristic of trance music is the mid-song climax, followed by the mellow breakdown, with the industry standard being something in the lines of: 1. toss the pedestrian 4/4 beat aside for a moment 2. conjure an atmospheric synth sequence that's vamping as the backdrop for the melodic hook! The melodic motif is usually an ascending synth line, sugar-coated with the paradidmatic flanger-effect, in order to resonate the stereotypical sensations of an ecstasy rush. Executed properly, such a trance breakdown can give you the chills even without the aid of any illegal, mind-altering drugs. A perfect example would be Dj Tiesto's superb remix of the song Silence by the Canadian new-agey electronic music duo Delerium, featuring the amazing mezzo-soprano of Canadian singer Sarah McLachlan. Genres that are heavy on the sub-bass obviously benefit a great deal from being blasted at full volume. Although, I haven't yet fully come to terms with modern EDM-subgenres, such as trap and dubstep. In general, these new genres tend to provoke a thought inside my mind, that modern street-drugs are getting overly hideous. Some tracks I've found extremely hilarious, though I'm not really sure, if it was the artist's initial intention. That's why I've even added these tracks to my carefully compiled Spotify playlists. I'm talking about tracks such as Black Beatles by Rae Sremmurd & Gucci Mane, Panda by Desiigner, 679 by Fetty Wap, and Bad and Boujee by Migos & Lil Uzi Vert. Nevertheless, I highly doubt that I will be returning to these particular tracks, say, in ten or twenty years time – unless I wish to organize an impromptu, unpleasant surprise to my age peer group in the nursing home. Dubstep, in turn, sounds to me like someone, going through a convulsive type of an epileptic seizure, is improvising with electronic instruments. Maybe it's because I've deemed the whole genre as a synonym for Skrillex. On the other hand, I really love Burial's album Untrue. It's really dark and emotive stuff, with a grain of old school 90's vibes. I have no clue, why Burial is often labeled as a dubstep artist. If there is such a subgenre of dubstep, that is fundamentally layered with gloomy and dystopian soundscapes, in the spirit of Burial-esque sound aesthetics, I just might have to check it out. In a positive way, Burial's music reminds me of the golden era of drum&bass, that started somewhere in the mid-90's. I think it was in 1995, when I heard Goldie's epic Inner City Life. It was one of those musical moments of illumination, a.k.a. ”Stop the press! What the fuck is THIS?!?”. I instantly bought the epochal and timeless (sic!) drum&bass classic album Timeless by Goldie, and immersed myself in its' other-worldly soundscapes for weeks on end. There was one particularly street-smart record store in Helsinki: Spinefarm. It was one of the very few stores, where I could find class A jungle vinyl. I hauled shitloads of 12”-maxis and EP's home from that Aladdin's cave, most of which I have lost somewhere since then. Intelligent jungle, as the more atmospheric drum&bass was called back then, was that particular type of high-speed breakbeat stuff, that I was most drawn into. Well, in all honesty, I'm a bit of a slut, when it comes to atmospheric synth textures, layered on a syncopated jazz-groove, even at high-speed. Furthermore, if the ear-candy of this particular type is driven by a laid-back dub-bassline, and ornamented with a few casually strewn modal jazz chord progressions, fingered on a vintage Rhodes-piano, I will be inclined to succumb to the ”shut up, and take my money”-approach. The Looking Good/Good Looking-label, that was led by the British drum&bass producer LTJ Bukem, was one of those go-to labels for me, with kick-ass releases, such as Bukem's own scene classics: Demon's Theme, Music and Horizons. British jungle artists didn't exactly rush to perform in Finland, during the genre's prime time in the mid-90's, but I managed to witness dj Krust and Aqua Sky. The Finnish electronic jazz pioneer band Rinneradio also had a brief love affair with the drum&bass aesthetics, on their Rok album, that was released in 1996. I guess it must've been around that time, when I saw the band perform at Vanha Yo-Talo, in Helsinki. It was a superb gig! I was also a frequent face at the one-and-only drum&bass club, that had a residency at one gay bar in Helsinki, hosted by Dj Alimo. The vast majority of the drum&bass cognoscenti, that congregated at the venue every Thursday, consisted of boring heterosexuals, so the bar's old regulars soon disappeared. Soon, in the next couple of years, the drive and excitement of this new genre also kind of disappeared. I haven't really bothered to keep up with the drum&bass scene after 2005. However, I do listen to those goldien oldies, released during the artistically coherent time interval of 1995-2001. For some stupid reason, quite many of the classics are missing from Spotify, like the magnificent Colours album by Adam F, or the ultra-rare Pseudo Jazz-EP by Justice – no, not the French electro-duo, but the drum&bass alias of the British producer-musician Tony Bowes. Both releases represent the polished and ”intelligent” Bukem-styled approach. On a funny side note: I remember, how these atmospheric tracks were usually blasting in the main hall/dancefloor in a typical 1996 drum&bass rave – and only five years later, the very same tracks were aired as the background music in the chill-out room of a hip trance party. O tempora, o mores! Well, anyways... The seismic sub-bass of a stereotypical drum&bass anthem just won't sound the same, when it's not bellowing through the club-PA loud as fuck...and the same universal truth applies to techno. Whereas, in the case of metal, it depends heavily on the very type of metal, whether the increased volume enhances the listening experience in a positive way, or not. Simple staccato rhythms and powerchords usually work wonders...or, what the hell do I know; I compiled a list of songs that sound kick-ass when played really loud. At first glance, however, I couldn't pinpoint any common factor contributing to this peculiar phenomenon. What can I say? If it works, then why not let it. I think today's challenge is pretty much wrapped, so...until next time, tomorrow, that is. Adios! Wolfmother: Joker and the Thief Ihsahn: Undercurrent Underworld: Born Slippy (Nuxx) Slipknot: Duality Skindred: Set It Off The Comet Is Coming: Summon the Fire Fluke: Absurd Dead Letter Circus: The Mile Infected Mushroom: None of This Is Real Leila K: Electric Lab-4: Candyman Shinedown: Devour BT: Giving Up The Ghost Thränenkind: Monument

[heartvalue2-blog]

Courtside Sixers Seats Are Philly’s Hottest Status Symbol

Sports

These days, if you’re not on the floor for the Joel and Ben show, you’re nobody.

Just look at who you could be sitting next to with courtside Sixers tickets. Illustration by Britt Spencer

It was just minutes before tip-off, and the vibe was electric. For a good hour prior to the start time of this nationally televised Sunday-afternoon game, fans, throngs of media, and seemingly every employee of both teams and the arena had gravitated courtside for a chance to see, yes, LeBron James, one of the biggest names in this or any sport. But there was more buzz for the opposing team’s collection of charismatic young stars, including the power forward acquired days earlier in a trade-deadline shocker that triggered a seismic shift in the NBA’s balance of power.

Now, with warm-ups over, the capacity crowd was about to learn which high-profile fan had been chosen to walk onto the court and, as has become custom here, pronounce the start of the proceedings. Scattered around the courtside seats were a couple of supermodels and their entourages, a franchise quarterback and one of his favorite targets, a pair of NBA icons, a retired hip-hopper swirling in comeback rumors, a nationally controversial pundit, the owner of a storied sports team, the local soccer franchise’s just-inked Mexican star, the consensus best player in Major League Baseball, and a big-deal trial lawyer with his trademark suit and slicked-back hair.

None of them got the nod, though. The celeb deemed worthy of this most high-profile moment was a polarizing Hollywood figure, among the team’s most recognizable boosters, one known to give refs an earful when they blow a call.

If you’re thinking Spike Lee at the Garden or Nicholson at the Staples Center, well, sorry. The super-fan chosen to “Ring the Bell” at South Philly’s Wells Fargo Center for this showdown between the flailing, LeBron-led Lakers and the ascendant 76ers was Mr. I-See-Dead-People himself, M. Night Shyamalan. And to the delight of Kendall Jenner, Anne De Paula, Carson Wentz, Alshon Jeffery, Allen Iverson, Magic Johnson, Lil Uzi Vert, Marc Lamont Hill, Robert Kraft (pre-prostitution charges), Marco Fabian, Mike Trout and Thomas Kline, Esq., along with the rest of the capacity crowd, Night rang the bell and rang it good. Game on.

Those on hand were treated to one of the most exciting Sixers games in a 16-month span full of them — the second contest featuring new stretch four Tobias Harris alongside J.J. Redick, Jimmy Butler, Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. When the final horn blew on the Sixers’ 143-120 shellacking of LeBron’s reeling squad, it seemed to signal not just this team’s elevation to beast mode, but a changing of the guard.

It was the sort of statement game — just months after spurning the city as a free agent, LeBron comes to town and gets spanked — that will go down in the annals of Philly sport. It’s a game that a few years from now, everyone you meet will claim to have been at. Think the Birds’ 38-7 romp over the Vikings in the 2017 Conference Championship. Or Phillies closer Brad Lidge firing a slider past Eric Hinske at Citizens Bank Park in 2008. Or Bobby Clarke’s Broad Street Bullies bloodying the Russian Red Army team at the Spectrum in 1976.

But for a handful of the city’s cultural and power elite, the proof will be in the replays. Their faces are in the background of every timeout, every fast break, every dunk. This visibility is why sitting courtside at the Sixers has become the ultimate status symbol, and why the VIP scene there has become the city’s most elite networking spot.

•

If you got hit by a SEPTA bus sometime between Allen Iverson’s farewell in 2006 and Joel Embiid’s debut in 2016 and are just now waking up from your coma, the above scenario sounds like pure fantasy. During the later years of the Iverson era, with the team already in decline, Sixers attendance was buoyed solely by, as aforementioned author, pundit and Temple prof Marc Lamont Hill puts it, the “cult of personality around Allen Iverson.” After A.I.? “It was a ghost town in there,” recalls Hill, who’s had season tickets on the south floor near the Sixers basket for going on a decade. “There was hardly anybody of note on the floor. The only time celebrities came to the game would be if the opposing team was really good.”

After floundering for several seasons, the Sixers in 2013 — backed by a new ownership group led by Josh Harris and David Blitzer and including minority partners such as e-commerce billionaire Michael Rubin and the Smiths, Will and Jada — embarked on then-GM Sam Hinkie’s controversial tanking strategy now lovingly referred to as “The Process.” After three seasons of rote, agonizing ineptitude, The Process ultimately yielded the core of the Sixers’ current squad — Embiid and Simmons — bolstered since by an ever-improving supporting cast. The result: a team that is certifiably good, and certifiably hot. “Now, we could be playing the worst team in the NBA and it doesn’t matter,” boasts Hill, “because we’re the draw.”

Elevated play has caused a surge in demand to get close to the action. And that lure is further perpetuated by the who’s-who list of Philly movers and shakers already entrenched courtside. Among the local luminaries you may spy sitting on the floor: high-powered, silver-haired alpha attorney Kline (20 seasons) and fellow litigator Leonard Hill; Shyamalan and his wife, Bhavna Vaswani (three years); and venture capitalist Richard Vague (like Hill, he’s had seats for a decade). That clutch of power is camped between the scorer’s table and the opponent’s bench with co-owner Blitzer.

On the other side of the scorer’s table, by the Sixers’ bench, you’ll usually find supermodel Kendall Jenner, a.k.a. Ben Simmons’s gal pal; Harris; and real estate magnates David Adelman and Alan Horwitz (who, thanks to his “Sixth Man” jersey, wild white hair, and demonstrative pleading is known to Sixers Twitter as “Old Man Knees”). Across the court, you can find Iverson, Rubin, and the latter’s various guests, ranging from hip-hoppers (Meek Mill, Lil Uzi Vert) to business magnates (Kraft) to celebs and athletes (Kevin Hart, Wentz, Malcolm Jenkins).

It should come as no surprise that a team with the foresight to execute The Process — a gambit reliant on securing on-court celebrity athletes — was also intentional in fostering a culture of stars and influencers in the stands. “We like to joke that it’s been a six-year overnight success,” team president Chris Heck says before tip-off. He’s in the Patriot Partner Lounge, the luxe, invite-only VIP hang the team carved out of the bowels of the Wells Fargo Center. Heck credits celebs like Shyamalan and Meek Mill (and then-companion Nicki Minaj) with raising the courtside profile.

“We call it ‘Circle of Stars,’” Katie O’Reilly, the Sixers’ chief marketing officer, says of the team’s influencers program. “Our managing partners understand the importance of bringing these guys in and having them as part of our family.”

That means inviting Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman and Bryan Cranston to the Center when they’re in town. It also means making regulars of our other teams’ stars. “I see Alshon more than I see my family,” laughs Heck. “Half the Eagles are season-ticket holders.” And it means catering to power-broker super-fans — bold names more likely to show up in the Wall Street Journal than on a marquee. “Josh Harris and David Blitzer and that crowd, they’ve done a superb job of making sure that the service is excellent” for VIPs, says Vague, the venture capitalist who’s recently made news as a possible dark-horse presidential candidate. “That’s been true through The Process years. If anything, perhaps even more so early on.”

More than any other pro sport, basketball offers proximity to the action. It’s this access that draws the rich, powerful and aspiring. At breaks during the Lakers game, for instance, fellow court-siders sauntered up to Wentz for a handshake and perhaps to offer a bit of unsolicited career advice.

Peter Markowitz, owner of South Jersey’s Posh Automotive Group and a first-year season-ticket holder with seats in the fourth row on the floor behind the basket, recalls one game where “we were randomly asked if we wanted to meet Allen Iverson. They took us upstairs, and we sat and talked to Allen Iverson for 10 minutes.”

Diehards may be chagrined to learn that Markowitz is no Philly sports lifer. “It was a social decision,” the 37-year-old entrepreneur says of his season-ticket plunge. “I’m getting older, and everybody’s getting busier with work and families. I go to all of the games with one of my best friends. We’re not even that into sports, but we have a new appreciation from being there and learning. And we’ve made really good connections for work and pleasure.”

Just off the court, the Corona Extra Beach House has become a networking hot spot. “At halftime, all those people who are sitting around the court, they all go into that room,” says Markowitz. “It’s a nice break, and rather than seeing people you know and passing them by, you get to spend a couple of minutes talking to them.”

For Ric Harris, president of NBC 10/ Telemundo 62, the seats the station gets as a Sixers media partner have proven a superb way to entertain clients.

The networking aspect can grate on basketball junkies like Marc Lamont Hill, but he understands the significance. “You see a lot of empty seats after halftime,” Hill says of the exodus to the VIP bars. “You’ll see people in fancy suits with really nice watches talking about development plans and client services. As a businessperson, I get it — it’s a part of the energy there now. It’s about being at the game and showing people that you can be at the game. That is a super status symbol. Having dope seats to the Sixers is another sign of social and cultural capital. And that’s pretty neat.”

•

Sixers seats have been hot before. But unlike in Iverson’s heyday, when 100 percent of the draw was the otherworldly talent of a sullen, tattooed anti-hero, something about this model feels different. Certainly, part of it is that 18 years on from the Sixers’ last championship run, Philly is a very different city.

The idea of a “New Philadelphia” — one of eds, meds and tech, one that’s solving brain drain and in the midst of a renaissance — comes up often when Heck and O’Reilly discuss marketing strategy. But this is also a very different Sixers franchise, one more in touch with the broader cultural significance of the NBA.

One of the less ballyhooed benefits of The Process is that it essentially allowed the organization to reboot. With expectations nonexistent and a fan base comprising only the most hard-core adherents of the team’s rebuild, the Sixers were free to essentially operate as a start-up. The clean slate, thus, was an opportunity to reimagine.

“So much of our strategy was, ‘Let’s bring back the history of this brand,’” chief marketing officer O’Reilly says of how the team’s planners picked and chose elements of the franchise’s past. “Let’s create traditions and bring back that legacy.” The Sixers’ iconography throughout The Process has played on nostalgia, harking back to the glory days of Wilt and Dr. J. But other touches, from the “Together We Build” slogan to the Franklinian Join-or-Die messaging to the ceremonial ringing of a miniature Liberty Bell, were, in retrospect, ingenious, positioning the team as a public trust and recalling the city’s Revolution-era glory.

This idea of common purpose is espoused by one of the team’s most high-profile courtside fans, Tom Kline (of Kline & Specter and Drexel’s Thomas R. Kline School of Law). “Caring about a professional franchise has at its core caring about the city and caring about what happens to us collectively as a community,” says Kline. “Communities have leaders, and you expect leaders to be visible — so now we’re seeing the kind of people you’d expect to be drawn to the flame.”

Kline has been a season-ticket holder for 20 seasons, occupying what he calls “the best seat in basketball” — next to the visitors’ bench (where he can see opposing coaches draw up plays) — since these seats were first made available in 2006. “Of course, we’re on camera more than the rest of the floor seats because the cameras chase toward the benches,” Kline says almost matter-of-factly. “That’s not why I’m there, but I have represented people as a result.”

Vague, Shyamalan and Kline all profess that they’re in it for the love of the game, though as folks who were driven to the acme of their respective fields, they must be at least a little tickled by the TV exposure (and this season, the Sixers will appear on national television some 39 times). Still, something about all of this seems more substantial, more real, than the glitzy Lakers Showtime scene of the 1980s.

While this iteration of the Sixers appears set up for a run of sustained success, no professional sports team is immune to peaks and valleys. But in this moment, when Philly and its teams all seem ascendant, the Sixers have packaged that energy into something transcendent. They have built a scene — of workaday fans and power brokers and A-listers — around more than a winning team. They’ve built this scene around a belief that by bottoming out and then sticking to a plan, you can reach the stars.

It’s a story that strikes a certain chord in the soul of this city for reasons obvious to anyone old enough to remember, say, the 1980s. The courtside celebrities may ebb with the team’s fortunes. But this moment, when the city’s powerful and powerless clamor for seats to see success we all feel we made possible, may represent not just a team fulfilling its unlikely destiny, but a city doing so as well. Why are courtside seats in such demand? Yeah, it’s about Ben and Joel being the best they can be. But it’s also about us.

Published as “The In Crowd” in the April 2019 issue of Philadelphia magazine.

Source: https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/03/30/courtside-sixers-tickets-wells-fargo-center/

[easy-win-games-blog]

STILL GOOD? — GRAND THEFT AUTO III

This is ‘Still Good?’, an editorial series in which I look back at both favourites games of mine and classics that I somehow missed, working out how these titles stack up today and whether or not they’re worth going back to.

tl;dr — has <insert game> aged well?

That said, let’s dig into Grand Theft Auto III.

Originally released in 2001 for the PS2 GTA 3 was hailed by critics and fans as a landmark in video game design. Its core gameplay mechanics — driving, shooting and navigating an open world — had all been seen before, but this marked the first instance of these mechanics being put together in a seamless and (for lack of a better word) good way. Mix this with elements of The Sopranos and the popular gangster movies of the time and you’ve got one spicy meat-a-ball.

Upon its release it received fantastic reviews across the board, sitting on an aggregate score of 97% (Metacritic) for the PS2 version. It was called, "a luscious, sprawling epic,” a, "technological marvel ... that captures the essence of gritty city life in amazing detail,” and "on a scale that's truly epic” (quotes lifted from Wikipedia). From here on out, aided by various other releases of the time, the gaming landscape was irreversibly shifted towards a focus on cinematic storytelling and open-world settings. It’s become difficult to not find traces of GTA 3’s DNA floating around a most modern releases.

It’s also very easy to get ahold of today. A mobile version was released for its 10th anniversary, but if you prefer something more solid it’s also available on the desktop App Store for Mac, Steam and on Xbox 360 through backwards compatibility if you can find a hard copy.

This sure is a celebrated classic, but it really hasn’t aged well.

If you’ve gone ahead and put in the work by reading my About page you’ll know I go hardcore with the GTA series. GTA 3 especially introduced me to mature video games in a way that I’ll never forget, but unlike other classics of the medium like the 2D Mario games it’s really tough to go back. I finished the game in high school on a MacBook using a trackpad, and recently bought it and Vice City on eBay for Xbox (these versions received various graphical improvements over the PS2 version) and have played maybe half of 3 so far since then.

But it’s hard, man. I love GTA but I’m honestly struggling to continue. It’s a weird case because I can look past its dated graphics and the driving is fine, but nearly everything else is just frustrating. My major gripe with playing this game now is that the controls are absolutely shitted. Locking on to enemies is vague, both in the sense that it only sometimes works with certain weapons and that the lock on rectangle is very transparent. Combat lacks any kind of possible finesse and relies upon a lot of dumb luck and blind button mashing, and moving Claude around feels like I’m controlling a marionette puppet.

And the camera…

There’s a strange feature I’ve found both in GTA 3 and Vice City on Xbox, and I’m not exactly sure if it was apparent on PC or PS2 (but I’m probably wrong). The option to rotate the camera around your player, whether you want to focus on enemies or check out the scenery, is gone. Completely. Instead, when you move the right stick, the camera jumps into a first-person perspective from which you can’t actually do anything. No walking, no combat. Its only really purpose is to change what direction you’re looking (duh), which is just slow and painful. Especially in combat because you have to stop, change the camera, and then move or perform some kind of action to go back out to third-person.

Imagine, if you will…

A mission tells you to go into Chinatown.

Easy, you get there.

But uh oh, you’ve been ambushed by gun and baseball bat-wielding Triads!

You pull out your Uzi and pump a clip into one guy at your 12 o’clock, but three more guys on your 6 you have opened fire!

You act fast, and duck into first person mode.

Five seconds later you’ve turned to face your foes, and have lost half of your health in that time. Now, to lock on.

In a daring move, you lock onto Triad #1 on your right, shoot two rounds and wait for another three seconds while you automatically reload (something that can’t be done manually).

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

You got him! Well done! You’ve also got next to no health.

Time to aim at the next pistol-packing Triad.

But uh oh again, you’ve locked onto someone with a baseball bat instead. You can’t switch your target on the fly, silly, and now you have six guys in total all around you shooting and beating you to death.

You’re dead, good luck next time.

As 2K18 gamer bro, this is frustrating as hell. And this happens constantly. A lot of combat scenarios, in my case at least, came down to me trying over and over again and succeeding only by shepherding the AI into a tight pack and using up the five molotov cocktails I’d scrounged to burn them all alive like a pack of zombies.

I was too young to be involved in the original hype of this game, but I imagine there was a big emphasis on strategy and player freedom in the marketing leading up to the game’s release. I get that, and GTA 3 sure is revolutionary on that front, but by today’s standards it just isn’t good. When the game at hand has a focus on combat and action it’s not a good thing when success comes from manipulating the infrastructure of the game itself. I don’t feel like I’m playing it the way it was meant to be played, but I don’t see any other option.

To make my point clearer, take the example of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. There are a lot of points in this game where you’re surrounded by enemies, who mostly all have guns. There’s no cover-based shooting or anything of that sort in San Andreas, but the fluidity and freedom of the movement with the ability to crouch, walk while crouched, jump and vault over obstacles, strafe, free aim and lock onto and attack enemies without having them in your immediate line of sight really make the difference. Just the ability to freely rotate the camera around CJ and switch lock-on targets make combat scenarios infinitely more strategic and playable than GTA 3.

Sure, San Andreas only exists because of 3’s legacy, but in three short years so much of the Grand Theft Auto formula was refined by intuitive but glaringly obvious improvements for San Andreas, making it now so much easier to go back to than 3. I would put San Andreas, a now 14 year old game, in front of any gamer in 2018, tell them to play it and be confident they would have fun and play with a full sense of control.

The other area where GTA 3 really lacks is in its narrative elements.

In the game you play as Claude, a mute blank slate of a man who wasn’t actually given a name until a one-off skippable phone call in San Andreas. At the beginning of the game we find Claude robbing a bank with his girlfriend, Catalina, who betrays him as they make their getaway with the line, "Sorry babe. I'm an ambitious girl, and you're just small time.”

Immediately, there’s confusion. Stylistically, it’s cool for sure. There’s shotguns and convertibles and action, but who is this lady? Why do her ambitions stop her from robbing banks with her lover (something they have been doing together for around nine years)? She must just be psycho or something, because she jumps in a sports car with some other guy, so to her it’s more beneficial to share the money with the getaway driver than with your long-term boyfriend. What’s more, Claude can’t explain any of this because he can’t talk, so these questions linger for the whole game and never get answered.

You can see here by making Claude the blank slate that he is that it’s likely the intention from Rockstar was to let the player use the mute as a vessel through which they could project themselves, personifying the game with their own personal flavour. Only, there are numerous and very definitive displays of Claude’s character throughout the game that the player might not agree with.

Character defining moments for a character who isn’t meant to have character.

For Christ’s sake, it’s implied he shoots a woman point blank at the end of the game because she talks too much.

It’s a weird half measure. It feels like Rockstar were trying to toe the line between an open world RPG packed with player personalisation and a fully scripted cinematic experience like Goodfellas. They’ve learned since, and their campaigns have been largely compelling ever since, but this feels like a big misstep.

Also, a minor issue I have; the cutscenes and cinematic moments of this game look like dog shit. The direction, cinematography and pacing of nearly every cutscene is awful. Claude will walk to someone’s door and knock, only to be answered an instant later by immediate talk as if this other character intuitively knew he was there. The shots will cut out parts of character’s faces, sometimes ending at their forehead or mouth, and as the cutscenes conclude it isn’t uncommon for Claude to start heading for the exit as the mission boss is still mid-sentence, as if he also intuitively knows the conversation is about to end. Even if the mission parameters haven’t been outlined yet. It’s almost as if the residents of Liberty City have been endowed with psychic abilities (but only in 2001 because Liberty City Stories is much more aligned with the rest of the series in this regard [maybe it’s something in the water]).

Coming from later GTA games, this just doesn’t feel like GTA.

The story overall is also just bland. It’s the most generic revenge plot you could imagine, with some out-of-nowhere betrayals such as that of Salvatore Leone — the local Mob boss.

After completing a number of tasks, both extremely dangerous and tedious, the Don congratulates you on your achievements and your loyalty to the Leone family. This feels pretty good, especially since the missions immediately preceding this moment are a hellish cluster fuck full of shoddy AI and stupid mission design. And you know what? He’s right. You have been loyal to him. You’ve done literally everything he’s told you to do and more. As this happens, he asks you to collect a car parked somewhere Downtown. So, like the good little Mafia errand boy you are, you skip down the hill to get it, only to be sent a page from Salvatore’s girlfriend of all people that the car is a trap and that you’re about to be murdered. Surely enough, the car is rigged with explosives, so your only option is to actually betray Salvatore and flee the first island with his girlfriend as you plot your (second) revenge.

It’s simply not good writing. There’s no cause and effect, no setting up of any kind. You are blank man. You work for blank Mafia man. But blank Mafia man turns on you, because he is bad Mafia man after all. You get blank revenge. It’s high school shit.

Just like Catalina. Take that blank man example, but substitute ‘black Mafia man’ with ‘blank girl’. It’s bad writing.

When it comes to games and movies it becomes hard to define what is good, especially in cases where legacy and nostalgia are involved. Super Mario Bros. 3 or World or whatever might be a better game than OG Super Mario Bros., but you might see OG Super Mario Bros. as the better game because it gave birth to what came after it. In my opinion that’s a really weird viewpoint to have, especially since gaming culture is so focussed on iteration and improvement. Some see it as sacrilege to say an old classic just doesn’t play well, but that’s the case because games as a medium inherently get better as we improve the craft and polish the development process.

With this in mind, and everything else I’ve already said, Grand Theft Auto III is not a good game in 2018. It’s not fun and it doesn’t control well. The story is bad and the moment-to-moment writing is no better. From a historical stance, I think it’s definitely worth playing, but if GTA V was your first introduction to the series and you want to explore its past GTA 3 is not the place to start.

STILL GOOD?

Not really, no

Am I completely wrong? Is my subjective opinion too subjective? Did I forget to mention how much San Andreas fleshes out both Salvatore Leone and Catalina and their character arcs in this game? Shoot (pew) me a message up top through the Ask Me Anything link OR hit me up on Twitter @easy_win_games.

Illustration left-to-right: Catalina, Maria, Asuka, Kenji, Donald Love, Toni, Luigi, 8-Ball, Salvatore Leone. Claude in the foreground.

- Editorial & illustration brewed in-house -

[pvpxrswvg]

Top 25 Albums of 2017

While I guess this blog is on hiatus again I really wanted to create a new top albums list for 2017, to serve as both a reminder of the great music that came out this year and as a time capsule of my initial reaction.

I think the most interesting part of 2017 was that it was the year of the internet. 2016 seemed like a huge transitional year for hip-hop, as guys like Lil Yachty, Lil Uzi Vert, Kodak Black, Rob Stone, Amine, 21 Savage, D.R.A.M, Young M.A and Desiigner all broke out with hits. While names like Drake, Gucci Mane, and Kendrick were still around, for the most part, we were learning a new name with each huge song.

Now, for the most part, we've completely moved on. Just about all of the above names have had an album flop in the past 18 months, and apart from 21 Savage and maaaybe Lil Uzi Vert, it seems like the above list has lost all of its star power.

But with the old generation gone, in came a new generation of louder and more progressive SoundCloud rappers. The SoundCloud generation doesn't look like it's going anywhere, but 2017 had XXXTentacion, Lil Pump, Lil Peep, Lil Xan, Ski Mask the Slump God, Smokepurrp and Trippie Redd all breaking out. I don't think we'll ever see an explosion like that ever again.

2017 was also the year where the internet's first boyband broke out, as suburban kids from all across the world discovered their new favourite band.

This list will follow the same format as last year, which is 25-11 in alphabetical order and then the final 10 counted down.

25-11:

2 Chainz – Pretty Girls Like Trap Music

I wrote a review on 2 Chainz in 2016, which was pretty scathing to say the least. While at the time I wondered if I would ever be able to enjoy a 2 Chainz project, all doubts are now gone as Pretty Girls Like Trap Music is actually really fire. While the mixing on this is absolutely terrible and there's quite a drop off after 4 AM, the entire album has a great vibe and the first four tracks are all tremendous. If Mike Dean had done a better job straddling the line between lo-fi and off-puttingly lo-fi, then this easily could have cracked the top 10.

21 Savage – Issa Album

Firstly, this album was incredibly disappointing. Luckily I'm a huge stan for 21's style, so that and tracks like Whole Lot and Numb mean that despite it being nowhere near the quality of Savage Mode, it's still one of the 25 best albums of the year.

21 Savage, Offset and Metro Boomin – Without Warning

If I had more time with this album this easily could have been higher, as this was probably the hardest cut from the top-10. I reviewed this fairly recently and not a lot has changed about my opinion.

Freddie Gibbs – You Only Live 2wice

While not the best album in Freddie Gibbs' discography, an average release from Gibbs is still better than 90% of hip-hop albums. With deep subtle beats, this album is mostly Gibbs slapping and showing that he still has it, which is as great as it sounds.

G-Worthy – G-Worthy

This EP was locked into my top-25 list as soon as I heard the first 10 seconds of Ain't Trippin, which still might be the smoothest beat that I've ever heard. I've reviewed this fairly recently and Cardo is still that legend.

Gucci Mane – El Gato The Human Glacier

2017 was an incredibly disappointing year for Gucci, which might be a result of my expectations being too high considering that he has two albums featured on this list. However, similar to Drop Top Wop, El Gato The Human Glacier is a very low-effort release that relies on the synergy between Gucci Mane and his producer. In 2016, Gucci Mane was on an absolute hit parade, while in 2017 apart from I Get The Bag, which is for all intents and purposes a Migos track, Gucci didn't really deliver any memorable hits.

Jay-Z – 4:44

I've never really been the biggest fan of Jay-Z, but 4:44 kind of blew me away as it is almost the complete opposite of what Jay-Z has been his whole career. While the storytelling and rapping is mostly the same as it ever was, I don't think Jay-Z has had a sound this subtle since Reasonable Doubt. I think what I've realized is that if instead of making hit after hit, had Jay-Z been an underground Rhymesayers MC I would have been a much bigger fan.

Lil Peep – Come Over When You're Sober, Pt. 1

While most people don't give Lil Peep the credit he deserves on this record, writing it off as a bad Bones/$uicideboys imitation, I think Lil Peep does that sound better than either of those artists. While this release isn't that great, Benz Truck is legitimately a song of the year candidate and the overall sound created on this release is tremendous.

Lil Pump – Lil Pump

I reviewed this and nothing has changed. If you don't like it you don't get it.

LNDN DRGS & P on the Boards – P on the DRGS

I haven't been coming back to this release too much since I reviewed it in January, but I still have an incredible soft-spot for the future-funk style production featured on this release.

Oddisee – The Iceberg

Like Really might be my favorite Oddisee Song, by a really large margin as well. While Oddisee has always been a great rapper and an even better producer, Like Really was the first song he made that I ever felt like coming back to, which made me appreciate The Iceberg a lot more than any other non-instrumental Oddisee release.

Tyler, The Creator – Flower Boy

Part of me wants to write this off as overrated and not include it, but the production on this release is so fucking good. I've never really liked Tyler as a rapper or songwriter, but all of the sounds on this album are so bright and lush.

The Underachievers - Renaissance

Not the best Underachievers record, but it's more consistent spitting by one of the most underrated groups in hip-hop. The highlight of the record is the Ronny J produced Crescendo.

Vince Staples – Big Fish Theory

This is the second year in a row I'm keeping Vince Staples out of the top-10 out of pure spite. I was so excited for this album after BagBak, but I guess Vince Staples isn't interested in being the goat rapper any more.

XXXTentacion – 17

As mentioned above, 2017 was for all intents and purposes the year of Soundcloud rap, which XXXTentacion was well and truly the face of. I know everyone hates XXXTtentacion, I kind of hate him too, but this release and tracks like Revenge are actually good and worth celebrating.

10. Future – FUTURE

I think I'm the only person who likes this album. While apparently this is supposed to be bad, it's an hour of consistent trap from an artist who has perfected his sound. In general, I don't understand what people want from Future, as while Monster is obviously a fucking classic, I don't see what makes this a worse release than something like DS2. People complain about a lack of stand out tracks but Poppin' Tags, Flip and Draco are all incredibly strong. That Mask Off track is pretty good too.

9. Big K.R.I.T – 4eva is a Mighty Long Time

I reviewed this fairly recently and I think I'll let that review speak for itself.

8. Playboi Carti – Playboi Carti

There's something strangely alluring about this record that I can't put my finger on. Carti on this record exudes this irresistible style and his simple yet unique sound does a great job holding up over the 46-minute long record. I don't have any future expectations for Carti as this record, as well as Magnolia on its own, seems like lightning in a bottle.

7. Gucci Mane & Metro Boomin – Drop Top Wop

Gucci Mane and Metro Boomin might be the most can't miss duo in the entire rap game. This release could have been three hours long and it still would have featured in my top-10. While apart from Met Gala this record doesn't reach any significant highs, the vibe that Gucci and Metro created has made this Gucci's most consistent and arguably best release.

6. Migos – Culture

I wish I could put this album higher. Culture coming out was just like this huge fucking event. Bad and Boujee is going to stand forever as their biggest hit and everything else in the lead up to this album made it seem destined to be a classic. Unfortunately, I just don't think the Migos style is capable of creating a classic. That's not to say this isn't really good, there isn't a dull track on this release and T-Shirt, Bad and Boujee, Deadz, What The Price, Slippery and Kelly Price are all really strong tracks.

5. Kendrick Lamar – Damn.

This album is good. Really good. That Easter Weekend when it came out might be the most memorable album release of all time. However, what it all comes down to is that while this album is really, really, strong, there's not a single track on here that I'd put in my Kendrick Lamar top-15. Even writing this I can't even think of what the strongest track on here is. While there's nothing on here that's lower than a 6/10, we're talking about an artist with multiple 10/10 tracks and ultimately Damn just isn't as strong as the rest of his discography.

4. Denzel Curry – 13

While only 13 minutes, this is so strong to the point where I don't care. Had this been 40 minutes we'd be talking about a genuine album of the decade contender. Denzel on this continues to be the best spitter in the rap game and the beats that he is rapping over are all insane. Zeltron 6 Billion is my song of the year as well, as Denzel over that Lil Ugly Mane beat is the most perfect thing that I've heard in ages.

3. Brockhampton – Saturation II

2. Brockhampton – Saturation III

1. Brockhampton – Saturation I

I had to go with this as the top three. When I think back on 2017, all I'm going to think about is Brockhampton. Kevin Abstract is an absolute genius and he is surrounded by a ridiculous amount of talent. I'm not exactly sure what else I can say about these three albums.