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hero-deserves-to-be-happy · 1 year ago

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When Sun Shines Again Chapter 5: "To Lead A Better Life:" Part 4

⛅CHAPTER 5⛅ "To Lead A Better Life" Part 4

Chapter Description: After returning to the city for his new college semester, Hero spends the day with Sunny, showing him around town and taking him to one of his favorite coffee shops. Though Sunny may be surprised that Hero still wants to spend time with him after everything that has happened, Hero knows that Sunny will always be a brother to him, and Hero will always take care of him...

This Chapter is Hero & Sunny's Friendship-Centric.

Chapter Word Count: 11,600. Link to Chapter 5 on AO3.

Description (for the entire work): When tragedy struck, Hero lost not only his dearest friend but also his dreams for the future. Even years later, Hero doesn't know what his "forever" looks like without Mari in it, but somehow he finds the strength to carry on and build a new life for himself. With his family and friends both old and new by his side, Hero struggles through life's ups and downs--the joys and sorrows he faces in a world without Mari. In the beginning, he's only looking to survive it all, but somewhere along the way, he might find a purpose, a reason he's still here. Maybe there really is a way he can learn to be happy again, and maybe, just maybe, when he's least expecting it, he might even find himself slowly opening his heart to love again--he might even find himself believing that even the darkest, stormiest of times will eventually pass and the sun will shine again.

A Hero-Centric story spanning 15 years of his life post-good end. Focuses on Hero finding healing & building a life for himself after the loss of Mari. Eventually includes him learning to love again after an extremely slow burn. All pairings are tagged upfront. Rated T for heavy themes & some language. Reading the prequel is recommended.

⛅Tags For The Story As A Whole (So A Lot Of These Are "Eventual" Tags):

Romantic Relationships: Main Ships: (Past) Hero/Mari and (Eventual) Hero/OC. Side Ships: Brandi/OC and a brief mention of Mikhael/Bebe are the only side ships involving canon characters.

Platonic Relationships: Hero & Brandi Friendship, Hero & Original Characters Friendship. Some Hero & Kel Siblings Relationship & Brotherly Friendship. Hero & Aubrey Friendship. Hero & Basil Friendship. Hero & Sunny Friendship. Hero & His Family.

Characters: Major Canon Characters: Hero (POV Character), Brandi [Intimidating Girl], Mari and Mari's Memory, & Kel. Major Original Characters (Hero's college friends): Kyle, C.J., Zoey, Tamra, and Lorraine. Other Included Canon Characters: Sunny, Basil, Aubrey, Sally, Hero's Parents, Bebe (Short Haired Girl/Fountain Girl) & Mikhael (The Maverick).

Genre: Hero-Centric Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Slice of Life, College Life, Lost Love, Finding Love Again, Finding Healing After Grief, Slow Burn, Developing Friendship, Developing Relationship, Greiving, Catharsis, Heart-To-Heart Chats, Hopeful/Happy Ending, Post-Good Ending, Hero Needs A Hug, Hero Deserves To Be Happy

Rating: T for some heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide. Mentions of Underage Drinking & Partying). Some language.

Warnings: Major Spoilers for OMORI! Heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide. Mentions of Underage Drinking & Partying). Some Language.

Link to Entire work on AO3.

⛅ Link to the "When Sun Shines Again" Masterlist. ⛅

Full chapter text below the cut. Thank you for reading! ⛅

Hero shifted his weight from one foot to the other, balancing the box he was holding against his side as he walked up the stone steps to Sunny’s apartment building. The buildings in this part of town were different than the modern, minimalist high rises downtown or the streamlined, boxy apartments near Hero’s university. This part of the city was quaint, historical—full of craftsman and art deco buildings and brownstone townhouses turned into apartments, like the one where Sunny and his mother were currently living. Hero had never really been to this part of the city before. With traffic, it was nearly an hour away from his university and half-an-hour from the hustle and bustle of downtown. It was quiet here. Hero thought Sunny would like that.

After Hero was buzzed in, he walked up three flights of stairs until he reached the door marked “3B” in shiny silver letters. Shifting the box again, he knocked on the door. He could hear rustling behind it—the sounds of turning locks and twisting doorknobs. Finally, the door opened, and there was Sunny, blankly blinking at him with his dark eye—the other or what was left of it still covered by an eyepatch.

Hero sighed in relief. He had color in his cheeks again, appeared far less pale and less frail than the last time Hero had seen him, more like the Sunny he remembered, the Sunny he had been before…

Hero stopped, and cleared his throat, pushing the thought away. “Hey, Sunny,” he said with a smile. Sunny nodded, blinking at him again.

“You came…” he mumbled. Hero’s face flushed. It was true he had gotten stuck in traffic on account of a football game downtown today, but was he really that late?

“Sorry. I didn’t know how long it would take me to get here. I’ll plan ahead better next time.”

Sunny nodded before tilting his head slightly towards the box in Hero’s hands. “Oh uh…this is for you,” he said. “Kel and I went through all this old stuff at home this summer, and we thought some of this was actually yours or that maybe you’d want it. There’s some grape soda in there for you too, from Aubrey, and I have a letter for you from Basil…”

He paused, handing Sunny the box and fumbling around in his pocket for Basil’s letter. Sunny set the box on the kitchen counter—rifling through its contents with the slightest twitch in the corners of his mouth, but he held onto the letter, staring at it for a long time. When he flipped the envelope over in his hands, presumably to open it, however, Hero gently suggested, “Uh…maybe you should read that later…when you have some privacy.”

He stumbled over his words, fidgety and awkward as he thought back to his own letter from Basil—how guilty, heart-wrenching, and utterly tortured it had been. He could only imagine what Sunny’s letter had in it…But whatever it was Hero didn’t feel it was any of his business and the idea of being there when Sunny read it made him feel intrusive and uncomfortable. There were some things that should be kept private.

He hadn’t even wanted to know what was in Kel’s letter, though he had listened when Kel talked through it a little with him, if only to share his worries about Basil. Aubrey hadn’t even opened hers yet, but she promised him that she would eventually, whenever she was ready. Hero had assured her that she could call him when she did, if she needed support or someone to talk to—in fact he had assured her she could call him any time, for any reason, just like he had reassured Kel and Basil of the same thing. But he knew they wouldn’t. It was one of the reasons it had been so painful to leave them behind to go back to school again.

While he had been looking forward to coming back to college and finally leaving this horrible summer behind him, he hadn’t wanted to leave Kel, Aubrey, or Basil, even after they assured him they were okay. It was only when Kel had confessed that it was a big comfort to him to know Hero would be in the city with Sunny that he had started to feel better about things. They worried about Sunny too—if their care-package was any indication, but now that he had moved away, it was only Hero who could check in on him and take care of him. Kel, Aubrey, and Basil would have each other now, but Sunny only had him.

No amount of phone calls from Kel, even though there had been many, or mailed newspaper articles about the upcoming Captain Spaceboy movie from Aubrey or novels of letters from Basil could ever have the impact of being physically present. They all knew this. So they had put their hopes in Hero—trusted him to keep an eye on Sunny, to be there for him, and to make sure he was okay. If Hero was being honest, it was nice to be trusted again—to be needed. He had been looking forward to showing Sunny around the city, to taking him to his favorite restaurants, museums, parks, or coffee shops—anywhere he wanted to go. Kel had specifically asked if he could help Sunny make some new friends so he wouldn’t be so lonely, but Hero thought that would probably be much easier for his more outgoing and sociable younger brother and suggested Kel lend a hand with that himself the next time he came to visit, which Hero was hoping would be soon. For now, however, he fully intended to try to spend a lot of time with Sunny as long as he didn’t mind the company. Truthfully, Hero was glad to have an old friend in the city now. After all, he had been a little lonely here too. He wondered if Kel knew that, just like Aubrey had, and that’s why he had been so insistent on Hero hanging out with Sunny just like the old days.

Hero sighed. Whatever the reason, he was glad to be here—glad to see Sunny looking so well, especially given everything he had been through.

As Sunny set Basil’s unopened letter on the box, Hero asked, “Do you…uh…want to go out somewhere or just stay in and play games or something? I know we talked about going to the park, but it looks like rain.”

Sunny pursed his lips together, then glanced over his shoulder out the window at the gray and gloomy weather—stormy and overcast as if it would start raining at any minute. He frowned, but Hero gave him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry. We can just do something inside like go to a museum or a restaurant or—”

“That coffee shop?” Sunny mumbled, quietly interrupting him. Hero’s brow furrowed. It took him a minute to remember that he had mentioned his favorite coffee shop to Sunny the last time he had talked to him on the phone. He hadn’t realized that Sunny was so interested in going there. After all, he had always seemed so much more interested in grape soda than coffee or tea.

“Sure. I can take you to a coffee shop,” Hero answered. “But uh…Layla’s is on the other side of town—way up by my school. I’m sure there’s a closer one.”

Blinking at him, Sunny frowned again, and Hero felt strangely guilty. He quickly added, “But of course, it’s no trouble to drive up there. It’s actually a really nice place. It’s in this shopping center by the river and you can walk down by the water and see the Wilbertson bridge, but it won’t be the best view today since it’s so stormy and overcast.” He paused, sighed. “But I guess we could go shopping there a little too, if there were any stores you wanted to go to. Honestly…wherever you want to go, Sunny—I’m up for anything.”

Sunny’s head tilted, almost imperceptibly. “Layla’s is your favorite, right?” he asked in his quiet, matter-of-fact way, and Hero nodded.

“Yeah, I go there all the time—mostly to study and have tea. They have great coffee too, of course, and really delicious muffins and cookies.”

“I’d like to go there,” Sunny quietly interrupted, a subtle sign of his enthusiasm for the idea. A smile tugged at Hero’s mouth, and his expression softened.

“Okay. Sounds good to me! You about ready to head out, then?”

Sunny nodded again. Then followed Hero through the front door, locking it behind him. He didn’t need to tell Hero that his mother was at work. His mother was always at work. Hero couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what he would become if left to his own devices. When he was Sunny’s mother’s age, would he be throwing himself into his job to desperately avoid his grief? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

Hero shook his head, as if he could literally shake the thought away, and he fumbled with his car keys in his pocket as he and Sunny made their way out onto the street. As Sunny climbed into the passenger seat of his car, he glanced around with a thoughtful tilt of his head. “Nice car,” he mumbled.

“Thanks,” replied Hero, stifling a chuckle. It was probably the nicest compliment his old, beaten-up station wagon had ever gotten. Kel often referred to it as a “grandpa car” or, when it gave them any sort of trouble, a hunk of junk, though Hero liked to think his brother was just kidding about that. Truthfully, he was grateful to have a car. His dad and Papá Miguel had helped him fix it up, and though it had given him a little bit of trouble every now and again, it had run pretty well for the most part, probably impressively well considering how old it was. Hero’s brow furrowed, realizing it was very possible that Sunny had never actually seen his car before. He hadn’t had his license when Sunny had isolated himself in his home four years ago and during his last few days in Faraway Town they had just walked everywhere. Hero’s brow furrowed as he started the engine. Was this really the first time he had driven Sunny anywhere?

It was a strange thought to have—given how often he had driven Kel and, more recently, Aubrey around, but he supposed he had never really had the opportunity to drive Sunny anywhere. Now that they were both living in the city, however, that might change in the near future. This drive to Layla’s was a decent start, after all, even if they ended up getting stuck in traffic.

When Hero agreed to drive Sunny across town, it hadn’t really occurred to him to take traffic into account. After barely inching along through the streets downtown trying to make his way onto the highway, however, he realized he probably should’ve given it more thought and perhaps, tried to find an alternate route. Hero sighed. He supposed it was too late for that now.

While stopped a red light, he glanced at Sunny who was staring almost wistfully out of the window. He didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he seemed content, peaceful even, so Hero didn’t want to disturb him with his apologies for traffic outside of his control. Instead, apart from a few small talk niceties about how Sunny had been settling in and about the stormy weather they’d been having, their drive was mostly a comfortable silence. If Hero was being honest, he found it kind of refreshing—especially after all those drives with Kel who often talked faster than Hero could keep up with. Sunny had always been a very quiet person, and Hero himself generally preferred to listen, so it made sense they wouldn’t be talking for hours like he might have with Kel or with Mari, when she had been alive. Sunny had always preferred to do things with his friends rather than sit around talking to them. The group of them had spent hours upon hours playing at the park, having picnics, building sandcastles, jumping in puddles, making crafts and flower crowns, watching cartoons, and cooking and baking delicious food together. Even though he didn’t talk much, Sunny always seemed happiest when he was spending time with his friends. It was one of the main reasons Hero wanted to visit him today. He hoped they could spend time together again—even if they were just riding in silence in his car, listening to the low hum of the radio.

Hero paused. No, he thought, his brow furrowing. It wasn’t just the hum of the radio. Sunny was humming along to the song, so quietly Hero almost couldn’t hear him. He tilted his ear towards him, trying to make sure he wasn’t just hearing things. But no, he was sure that was Sunny—humming along warmly if a bit inaudibly.

Curiously, Hero turned up the volume to the radio. But he stopped—recoiling his hand as the other gripped even more tightly around the steering wheel.

Something ached in his chest as he suddenly remembered driving in the car with Mari, Sunny, and Kel what felt like a lifetime ago. He could hear Mari’s warm tinkly voice singing along, “Sweet dreams 'til sun beams find you. Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you. But in your dreams, whatever they be, dream a little dream of me.” He could hear her teasing her little brother that this was one of his favorite songs, could see her poking him in the arm until he joined in, finally humming along with the music.

When was the last time Sunny had hummed? Hero didn’t know, but, as his chest panged. He knew Mari would be happy to see him humming again, to see him enjoying music, enjoying life again. It made Hero happy too. Honestly, he wasn’t even really aware of how much until he caught himself quietly singing along to the song, “Dream a little dream of me…”

He was truthfully a little embarrassed when he caught Sunny staring at him, blinking up at him with an unreadable expression as the song ended. He scratched the back of his neck with a light chuckle. “Sorry, I’m not the best singer.”

“That was nice,” mumbled Sunny. “I like that song.”

“Oh yeah?” Hero replied with a smile. “I didn’t realize you were such a big Mama Cass fan. You know I have a few The Mamas & The Papas records you’re welcome to borrow. They’re all back home, but next time I’m in Faraway Town, I’ll pick them up for you or, you know, maybe you can come back to visit with me. I’m sure my parents would be happy to let you stay with us, and I know Kel, Aubrey, and Basil would love to see you.”

Sunny sighed. “You really think so?” His delivery was monotone, unreadable, but something twisted in Hero’s chest all the same. It was no secret that ever since Sunny had told them the truth, he had been worried that his friends would never forgive him and would never talk to him again, and unlike with Basil who they could just visit in the hospital to reinforce the idea that they weren’t going anywhere, Sunny had moved away and was isolated from them again—alone with his thoughts and his fears that they weren’t ever coming back.

“You came…” The words Sunny had first said to him when he arrived at the apartment echoed in Hero’s head, and they broke his heart. Had that really been what he meant? Had he really been worried that Hero wouldn’t come? Hero sighed heavily, running his hand through his unruly hair. He was truly at a loss here, just as he had been with Basil. He cared about Sunny and Basil as if they were his own little brothers, and truly there was nothing either of them could do that could ever change that. No matter how intense, painful, and complicated the feelings he had towards the truth were, there were some things in life that were and would always be stronger.

Hero just wasn’t sure what he could possibly say that would convince them of that, besides reassuring them time and time again that, “Of course, Sunny. Everyone cares about you—misses you. They’d love to see you.”

Sunny pursed his lips together and stared down at his hands, but he nodded curtly. “Okay.” He paused. “I should have a fall break, I think.”

Hero’s smile brightened. “Me too. We’ll have to see if they line up or maybe we can just go for a three-day weekend sometime. And I talked to Kel about maybe coming to visit here too. He said he might have a tournament in the city when basketball season starts up again—you’d like to see that wouldn’t you, Sunny?”

Sunny nodded with an almost inaudible hum, and Hero chuckled. He supposed Sunny had never really gotten to see Kel play basketball before—at least not in an organized league or anything. A few times in Faraway Park of course, or playing around with the hoop that had once been in their yard and now was in the street in front of their parents’ house, but Kel had gotten so much better since then and was truly an impressive athlete, though Hero supposed that may just be his biased opinion seeing as he was his proud older brother who, himself, had the coordination and athletic prowess of a brick wall.

Hero sighed. If he didn’t need his morning jogs to stay sane, he probably wouldn’t be very physically active at all—choosing instead to lock himself in his room and study, but it had actually been Kel who had inspired him to take up running in the first place, after insisting that exercise always helped him feel better. At the time, Hero had been so desperate for any relief that he likely would have tried anything, even though he was certainly skeptical at first. Still, Kel had been right. He felt his best after a run—felt a mental clarity, an increase of energy, and almost a sense of ease as if that storm of negative emotions and misery inside of him somehow lost part of its edge. And, of course, the more he learned about endorphins, the more this started to make actual, scientific sense. He craved those runs—clung to them like a lifeline. At his worst, he'd go on several a day—convinced they were the only thing standing between him and complete mental collapse. He was so desperate that he’d often even run in inclement weather—snow, sleet, and, more often than not, rainy days just like this. It was just one of the many reasons he didn’t care for them very much.

Hero sighed as raindrops began to beat against his windshield—spit out of the sky in random bursts before stopping again. Even though it wasn’t a steady downpour yet, it surely would be soon. He’d have to dig out his umbrella from under the seat when he parked the car so Sunny wouldn’t have to walk around in the rain.

By the time they crossed the Stanley Wilbertson Bridge, however, the spurts of rain had let up again—leaving the sky damp and overcast and shallow puddles around the Riverfront Center parking lot. Despite the rain, it was surprisingly busy today. Hero wondered if some of the shops were having end of summer sales events.

Whatever the reason for it, there was no parking in front of Layla’s, and Hero turned to Sunny with an apologetic shrug of his shoulders. “We’re going to have to park farther away. Is that okay?”

Sunny nodded. He didn’t seem to mind too much when Hero finally found a parking space in front of a mattress store several shops away from the coffee place they were headed. “Hold on, Sunny,” Hero gently insisted as he turned off the engine. “I have an umbrella.” Hero got out of the car and crawled into the backseat, digging under the driver’s seat for his umbrella which he eventually held out to Sunny with a somewhat triumphant smile.

Sunny tilted his head at it almost curiously, and Hero’s brow furrowed. Was there something wrong with it? It was just a boring old umbrella. Nothing fun or exciting about it like the bright pink one Aubrey had had when they were kids or Basil’s green one or Kel’s orange one or—Hero’s chest panged—Mari’s purple umbrella, the one that matched her beloved rainboots. Now that he was thinking of it, he had never actually had a colorful umbrella before. His parents had offered to get him a blue one when they had gotten Kel’s orange umbrella, since it was his favorite color, but Sunny had had a blue umbrella at the time and Hero was worried they would get mixed up or confused somehow and he didn’t want to cause any sort of trouble or confusion, so he had opted for a standard black one. It had held up pretty well, he supposed, considering he still carried it around in his car after all these years. He honestly had no idea where Kel’s orange umbrella was. They had been wondering if they’d stumble upon it again while going through all those old boxes over the summer, but it was nowhere to be found. He wondered if Aubrey had her pink one or Basil had his green one. Did Sunny still have his blue umbrella? And what had happened to Mari’s purple one after she had passed away…? Hero shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He’d give anything to see it again—to hear her squeaky rainboots clip-clopping along the sidewalk, splashing him with water as she giggled and jumped in puddles. Mari had loved rainy days. Hero wished he did. After all, every day without her was rainy and there was no umbrella—colorful or not—that could ever weather that storm.

With a heavy sigh, Hero pushed the thought away then turned to Sunny with a smile. “Can you hold onto that, Sunny? It’ll probably start raining again pretty soon, and we parked so far away—I don’t want you to have to get drenched walking all the way back here.”

Sunny nodded, slipping his wrist through the loop at the end of the umbrella’s handle. He swung it a little as they walked through the parking lot, up onto the cobble-stoned walkways of the shopping center. The riverfront area, where the University of Somewhere City was located, was a particularly ritzy part of town, and Riverfront Center certainly reflected that—with fancy stone facades on the shops and patterned pathways. There was even a large fountain in the middle of the shopping center, near a small amphitheater where they sometimes had live music when the weather was nice. There were also walkways down by the river which couldn’t really be seen in this fog, and the glistening steel and bright lights on the nearby Wilbertson bridge. The shopping center was always pristinely clean and bustling with people skittering in and out of fancy boutique shops for brands Hero had never even heard of before, having grown up modestly in the suburbs. He sometimes felt a little out of place amongst the opulence, but he had never been made to feel unwelcomed. His favorite place in the whole shopping center was, of course, Layla’s: a small, privately-owned coffee house that, at least in his experience, was much quieter and, therefore, more conducive to studying than the more chaotic and rowdy coffee shops closer to campus. He hoped Sunny would like it—would find it a pleasant and peaceful place as he had.

As he turned to head towards the coffee shop, however, he felt a light tug on his sleeve. Curiously, he turned to Sunny who pointed to the large shop to their right and the sign above the doorway that read “Sweet Dreams” in swirly, cloud letters followed by much smaller cursive “Mattresses and Bedding, Co.”

Hero’s brow furrowed. “You…want to go in the mattress store?” he asked somewhat confusedly. Sunny nodded emphatically.

Hero stifled a light chuckle, but he scratched the back of his neck with a shrug. “Okay…”

Sunny practically sprinted into the store, leaving Hero whirling a little before he finally got his bearings and followed him through the jingly doorway. Hero blinked. It was just like any other mattress store, he supposed with beds made up all over the shop. He supposed the fact they had a few made beds against the far wall was a little different, but the sign had read “mattresses and bedding, co.” so he supposed it made sense. His brow furrowed as he looked for Sunny amidst the shoppers, mattresses, and aisles of sheets, blankets, duvets, and throw pillows. It was a relatively large store compared to the boutique shops in this shopping center, but Hero could still see the back wall in the distance. There’s no way Sunny could have possibly disappeared in here…right?

Hero’s hands began to tremble. He could hear Mari’s warnings about Sunny’s tendency to wander off echoing in his head—though that had been back when Sunny was five. He was sixteen now. Surely, he wasn’t going to get lost in a mattress store…

After combing through aisles with no sign of him, however, Hero began to get worried. “Sunny…” he quietly whispered, trying not to draw too much attention to himself or disrupt any shoppers. “Sunny, where are you?”

Finally, as he turned out of an aisle of king-sized sheet sets, he sighed in relief, finding Sunny lying down with his eye closed on one of the made beds pressed up against a wall. Hero’s face flushed. Could he do that? He wasn’t really sure you were supposed to.

“Uh…Sunny…?” he awkwardly stumbled.

Sunny’s eye fluttered open, and he blinked at him before he mumbled, “6 out of 10.”

“Wh—what?”

“This is a 6 out of 10,” he repeated, patting the floral duvet with his hand. Then he pointed to another bed nearby with striped bedding. “That one’s a 6 out of 10 too.” Then at another covered in messy throw pillows. “But that one’s only a 5 out of 10—it’s too soft.”

Hero tilted his head in confusion. “Are you…uh…rating the beds in the mattress store?”

Sunny nodded. “It’s one of my hobbies.”

“Oh well…uh…” Hero stumbled. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that, but he supposed it was good Sunny had hobbies again so he somehow managed a smile. “That’s nice, but uh…” He bit his lip as he caught one of the store employees staring at them in blinking confusion. “I really don’t think you’re supposed to lay on these beds. They’re just for show.”

“But it’s a mattress store,” Sunny insisted—dry, matter-of-fact. “How will you know the quality if you don’t test it out?”

“Well…I think you can probably test the mattresses over there”—he pointed to the unmade beds—”But this is for bedding, so I think these mattresses are kind of like mannequins.”

Sunny blinked at him. “Don’t you want to test bedding before you buy it too?”

Hero shrugged. He supposed he couldn’t argue with that logic, but he decided it would probably be best to change the subject. “Are you looking for new bedding, Sunny?”

Sunny’s shoulders twitched. “Maybe, but my bed is a 10 out of 10.” He paused, then turned to Hero. “You? What’d your bed at college like?”

“Uh…You mean what would I rate it?” Sunny nodded, and Hero ran his hand through his hair. He had never really thought about it before, but truthfully, it was pretty uncomfortable. He supposed his university had more important things to spend money on than mattresses in student housing, so it had never really bothered him. He generously rated it, “Um…I guess a four or five maybe?”

Frowning, Sunny shook his head slightly. “That’s awful. You deserve at least an 8 out of 10.”

Hero chuckled awkwardly, but he shrugged. “I’m not sure that’s possible in on-campus housing. Maybe if I got an apartment or joined a fraternity or something…”

“Can you do that?” asked Sunny, cutting him off. “Your sleep is important.”

Hero’s expression softened. “Don’t worry Sunny. I get plenty of sleep,” he gently insisted. He decided it was probably best not to mention to Sunny that his friend, Kyle, had been pestering him all summer to join his fraternity in the new pledge term. He wasn’t sure what their mattresses were like there, but it wouldn’t surprise him if they were more comfortable than the ones they had in the dorms. But of course, Hero thought with a sigh, that was a very low bar.

Sunny simply blinked at him, but he didn’t say anything more. Hero wondered if he had used up all of his words, but as Sunny strolled through the store aisles, reaching out his hands to pat the mattresses, pillows, or beddings, he would mumble quietly, “5 out of 10,” “7 out of 10,” or “3 out of 10.” Hero had listened curiously—trying to figure out what rating criteria Sunny had been using. When he finally declared a mattress was a “9 out of 10,” Hero had impulsively reached out to touch it himself—not even really realizing what he had done until he watched his hand sinking into the soft foam.

“It’s polyurethane,” muttered Sunny with a twitch of an impressed smile.

“Wow. You really know a lot about this, Sunny.” Hero chuckled tilting his head towards the ‘Help Wanted’ sign in the front window near the door to the store. “Looks like they’re hiring. Maybe you can come work here someday.”

Sunny stared at him then at the window thoughtfully before he nodded.

“Are you ready to go?” asked Hero before he opened the door for Sunny. He didn’t want to rush him, but he was pretty sure he had rated everything in the store at this point so he wasn’t sure there was much left to do there. Sunny, it seemed, agreed with him—nodding his head and following him back outside.

As they made their way, once again, across the cobbled-stone walkway towards the coffee shop, Hero looked up at the sky. It was much darker than it had been before they had gone into the mattress store, but the rain seemed to be holding off—at least for now. It must’ve been perfect timing, however, because as soon as they shuffled through the jingly door into Layla’s the sky started spitting water again. The sprinkling rain beat against the coffee shop windows, making the place seem even more cozy and warm with its bright yellow walls and plush, mismatched furniture. As they walked up to the counter, a friendly barista took their order—earl grey tea for Hero and a caramel latte for Sunny, who had always had a bit of sweet tooth.

“There’s not a tea shop you can go to…?” Sunny teased—dry and deadpan, but Hero laughed as he took his cup of tea from the counter.

“I haven’t found one yet,” he answered with a shrug. “And I don’t mind coffee. I don’t love it as much as Kel but…”

“Nobody loves coffee as much as Kel,” Sunny interrupted, the slightest twitch of a smile in the corners of his mouth before he took a sip of his latte.

Hero shrugged his shoulders again. “You’re probably right about that. We’ll have to come back here with him someday. He’ll love it.”

“Do they have Orange Joe?”

Hero laughed. “I don’t think so. Not a lot of places carry Orange Joe anymore.”

“Good,” Sunny mumbled into his coffee, and Hero snorted a laugh behind his hand—feeling somewhat guilty for poking fun at Kel’s favorite drink of all-time.

As they took their seats at a nearby table, Hero asked, “So what do you think of your coffee?”

Sunny shrugged. “It’s okay—better than Orange Joe.”

A smile tugged at Hero’s mouth. He supposed that wasn’t all that difficult of an achievement. He stifled another laugh thinking of what Aubrey might have said if she was here—some dry quip about how even pond scum would taste better than Orange Joe. And then, of course, she and Kel would probably bicker like the old days and Basil would start fidgeting and kindly ask them not to fight and Sunny would thoughtfully watch everything unfold with blinking eyes until he started zoning out again. And Mari…

Hero stopped himself before he could even finish that thought. His insides twisted. He supposed there was really no point in thinking of what Mari would have done. Kel and Aubrey might bicker with each other again. Basil might stress over his friends’ conflict again. And Sunny might observe and might zone out into his own little world again. But Mari…Mari would never get to do anything again. Even if they all stuck together—starting hanging out again like the old days, there would always be something missing, something palpably different than before. Even now, just sitting in the coffee shop, Hero’s eyes lingered on the empty seat at their table. He could imagine Mari sitting there—giggling as she sipped her cup of coffee or tea, playfully nudging Sunny in the arm or shyly reaching for Hero’s hand under the table. His chest ached, and he looked away abruptly, staring intently at the clouds in his cup of tea.

He supposed he should have prepared for this—prepared to have been so reminded of her. After all, Sunny was her brother. He could see her in the way he tilted his head when he was thinking, in the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth, in the wistful, dreamlike innocence in his eyes. Hero supposed he had never really noticed or appreciated their similarities until after Mari was gone. He wondered if that was something Sunny noticed about himself—something that made it painful for him to look into the mirror, but he would never want to cross any boundaries and ask.

The truth was Sunny was his own person, and he was and had always been his friend—another little brother, just like Kel, in his mind. Mari had always used to say that was good thing—teased him that he wouldn’t have to adjust to having Sunny as a brother if they married one day when they grew up. But even now when that could never happen, even now when Mari was gone, they were still family. Sunny would always be a brother to him, and Hero would always take care of him.

But he never imagined there would come a day when it would be just the two of them sitting alone in a coffee shop with a painfully empty space between them…And the truth of that was hard to accept.

Hero cleared his throat—trying his best to pull himself out of his deep introspection, but before he could say anything, he felt Sunny tugging on his sleeve. His brow furrowed. “Yeah, Sunny?”

Sunny tilted his head towards the giggling barista and the tall, blonde man who was leaning over the counter on his elbows, presumably, to chat with her as she handed him his coffee. He winked at her but waved at Sunny and Hero.

“Do you know that guy? He’s been waving at us,” mumbled Sunny, and Hero nodded.

“Yeah, that’s Kyle. He’s a sports medicine major so we have a lot of classes together.”

“Hey, Mama!” Kyle exclaimed with a warm laugh and a wide smile as he headed over towards their table with his coffee. “What are you doing here?”

Hero chuckled, a little in spite of himself at the nickname Kyle had given him months ago. He really hadn’t expected it to stick as long as it had. “Hi Kyle. How are you?”

“Living the dream,” he chuckled as his grin widened and he leaned his elbows on their table, pushing his curtain bangs out of his eyes. It seemed like every time Hero saw Kyle, he looked more and more like he belonged in a boyband—with his preppy clothes, curtain-bangs haircut, and a watch Hero was pretty sure was more expensive than his parents’ TV. He supposed it was a look that suited Kyle given the fact that he was extraordinarily wealthy, very charismatic, and, as Hero had been told by many drunk girls, “conventionally attractive” given his broad-shoulders, high-cheekbones, and somewhat playfully boyish smile which seemed almost excessively bright today in contrast to the tan he must have gotten over the Summer spent on private beaches in Italy.

Hero stifled a laugh as he could have almost sworn he heard Sunny mumble, “Shiny…”

Kyle must’ve heard something too as he turned to him with a curious tilt of his head and held out his hand for a handshake. “Oh hey. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kyle.”

“Sunny.”

Sunny answered so quietly that Hero wasn’t sure Kyle had heard him, so he politely added, “Sunny’s an old friend of mine from back home in Faraway Town where I grew up. He just moved to the city, so I’ve been showing him around.”

Shaking his head, Kyle snorted a laugh before he teased, “You’re showing him around, and you bring him to Layla’s? You’re such a grandpa.” He paused, laughing again, and Hero sighed with a somewhat helpless shrug of his shoulders before Kyle patted him on the back. “I’m just messin’ with you,” he chuckled before turning to Sunny with a smile. “It’s nice to meet ya, Sunny. You know, I’ve never met any friends of Mama’s from back home, except Brandi, and she’s—”

“Intimidating,” mumbled Sunny. Kyle must’ve caught that at least, because he burst into raucous laughter.

“Exactly! See you get it,” he laughed, motioning to Sunny with his hand. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Brandi’s gorgeous, wicked smart, and if I’m ever arrested I really hope she’ll be my lawyer, but she’s got teeth, man.”

Sunny nodded emphatically in agreement, but Hero just shook his head—pressing his palm to his forehead.

Kyle’s laugh wavered a little. “She’s not right behind me, is she? You know I love you, Brandi,” he teasingly declared to the universe, before he laughed again. “Real talk, Brandi’s great—a fine girl…what a good wife she would be.” He paused with a cheeky smile, seemingly amused by his own jokes and references to old songs that, before this moment, Hero wouldn’t have guessed Kyle even knew, before he quickly added, “Not for me though ‘cause I don’t wanna die. But totally for someone else—like Mama maybe, if he ever decides he doesn’t want to be a monk anymore.”

Hero’s face flushed. He and Brandi were just friends, and he was not interested in a relationship with anyone. He couldn’t be—wouldn’t be, not anymore, not since Mari… He stopped and swallowed hard. He supposed there was no way Kyle would know that, and given how important his relationships were to him, he doubted he would understand why Hero didn’t want one, even if he tried his best to explain. He knew Kyle’s teasing stemmed from a good place—it was fun, good-natured, and non-malicious. He also knew, or at least liked to think he’d stop if he told him the whole story, but it wasn’t something he was particularly comfortable talking about with even the people closest to him, he couldn’t imagine ever telling an acquaintance from school about it.

After all, he barely even knew Kyle and was sure Kyle knew even less about him. He liked him well enough when they had quite a few classes together seeing as he was a sports medicine major and Hero was pre-med, and he thought he was friendly, funny, and personable. They had studied together a few times, and Kyle had invited him to some of his frat parties and sent him a postcard all the way from Italy. Hero supposed that, of course, he considered him a friend, just not a close one. The fact he had thrown up in the back of his car a couple of times while plastered didn’t quite make them “share-about-the-time-your girlfriend-died-in-an-accident-when-you-were-15-and-now-you’re-convinced-you’re-never-gonna-love-again” kind of friends. Hero sighed. He wasn’t sure those type of friends even existed, and even if he did, knowing himself and how worried he was about dumping his problems onto other people, he probably wouldn’t tell them about Mari anyway.

“Tell me, Sunny,” teased Kyle. “Has Hero ever actually had a girlfriend or has he always been like this?”

Sunny turned to him—blinking at him with an unreadable expression that made Hero’s stomach coil guilty and uncomfortable. His face flushed. He had no idea what Sunny was thinking—if he was worrying he had been purposely trying to forget Mari or treating his relationship with her like some big secret. Biting his lip, he swallowed hard, realizing he couldn’t really address this right now.

“Kyle…” he began, hoping he’d think of something to say to change the subject when he paused, noticing the way Kyle shifted his weight to one side, how he tightened his grip on the edge of table, how his leg wobbled ever so slightly. “Is your knee bothering you?”

Kyle quirked an eyebrow at him, before he chuckled. “How do you always know that?”

That question had an easy answer, but it wasn’t one Kyle would ever get to know. Sunny knew, however, and he turned to Kyle immediately, blinking at him intently as he waited for him to actually answer the question.

“You’re gonna be a great doctor, Mama,” Kyle teased with a good-natured smile. “But you worry way too much about that. It’s fine. I was at this crazy party last night, and it kinda gave out on me when I was doing the electric slide. It hurt something awful this morning and I couldn’t find my brace”—he huffed—”I can never find that freaking thing when I need it, but it’s no big deal—nothing compared to this hangover.”

“You have a bad knee…” Sunny observed quietly. His tone was so flat as usual that it was impossible to tell if he meant it as a question or not.

Kyle sighed, rolling his eyes at Hero. “Now you’ve gone and worried, Sunny. It’s okay,” he insisted with a pointed look at Hero, but his face softened when he met Sunny’s wide, blinking eye, and he gave him a reassuring smile. “I got injured playing football a few years ago—had a bunch of surgeries, was on crutches forever, but after a ton of physical therapy, it’s fine now. I mean, I won’t ever play again, but I can walk and stuff.” Kyle sighed, ruffling his hand through his hair. “I mean, it gives out on me sometimes, but it’s fine. Mama acts like it’s gonna kill me.”

Hero’s face flushed red. He bit his lip, staring down at the table, unable to look at the expression on Sunny’s face. He could only imagine…

He swallowed hard. Trying not to think about it.

“You should still be careful,” Sunny said—quiet but emphatic, before he motioned to the empty chair at their table. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Oh, I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“It’s okay,” Hero gently insisted, after Sunny gave him a pointed tilt of his head and an emphatic nod. “Why don’t you just rest a little bit—get the weight off that knee?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Kyle playfully rolled his eyes then let out a breathy laugh, “If you insist, I guess…” he teased though Hero could tell he was kind of relieved to be able to sit down. “You know, you should consider sports medicine too, if you’re that interested. It’s why I wanna be a physical therapist, but you wouldn’t have to do that—you could do PM&R or something and still be a M.D., if you’re so set on being a doctor.” He paused, glancing over at Sunny. “What do you want to do, Sunny? You in college yet?”

Sunny shook his head. “No. But I think I’d like to work at the mattress store. Hero suggested it.”

“Oh yeah? That sounds cool. I don’t know much about mattresses, honestly, but I just got one of those Swedish memory foam ones and—”

“You have a high-density viscoelastic polyurethane mattress?” Sunny interrupted—swiftly and at a normal volume as his face seemed to light up. Hero could only blink at him, wondering when he had last seen Sunny so excited. Kyle, it seemed, could only blink at him too, though he seemed confused.

“Uh…I don’t know what any of that means,” he admitted with a light chuckle and somewhat sheepish grin. “But it’s pretty cool, I guess—really soft.”

“Is it an 11 out of 10? I’ve always thought it would be an 11 out of 10, but I’ve never actually seen one in person.”

Kyle shrugged. “Well I guess you can see mine sometime. I don’t mind.” Kyle’s smile widened. “If you help me convince Mama to join my fraternity, you can come over to visit him.”

Thoughtfully pursing his lips, Sunny blinked at him before he asked, “If Hero joins your fraternity, will he get a high-density viscoelastic polyurethane mattress?”

“Sunny,” Hero gently interrupted, his face flushing in embarrassment, but Kyle didn’t seem to mind and Sunny didn’t seem to notice as he continued.

“He says the bed in his dorm is only a 4 out of 10. He deserves at least an 8 out of 10.”

“Well yeah, of course. Those dorm beds suck,” agreed Kyle with a nod, but he tilted his head to the side. “Honestly, I dunno how I’d rate the beds at the fraternity house, but they’re definitely better. If one of those Swedish mattresses will get Hero to join, though, then he can totally have mine or maybe I can ask my dad to get him one or something.”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Hero insisted somewhat flustered, but Kyle just waved his hand at him dismissively.

“It’s no problem. I’m a trust-fund baby. My parents buy me stuff to make up for the fact they’re never around, and they love it when I make responsible friends.” Kyle laughed, practically beamed at them with a bright teasing smile. Hero sighed. He made jokes like this all the time, but Hero had never thought they were funny. “They did not like my old roommate at all. He was a fun guy—really knew how to party, but he partied a little too hard I guess, got a girl pregnant and now lives in off-campus housing with her. My parents have really been on me to find a new roommate that won’t do that, and I immediately thought of you.” Chuckling, he patted Hero on the back. “Not that I wouldn’t be totally on board if you wanted to get a girlfriend or something, just…I think you’d be more responsible and Brandi says you’re not even gonna hold hands ‘til you’re married so…”

Hero’s cheeks grew warm, and he buried his face in his hands. He honestly kind of took it as a compliment, but he was mortified Sunny had to hear all of this. “Kyle…” he sighed heavily, though he wasn’t even sure what to say. Ultimately, he decided on a dry, “I think I’ll leave the relationship stuff to you.”

Kyle laughed. “Thanks. Not sure I could compete with you really. I swear girls think you’re some kind of prince charming or something.”

“He’s universally loved,” mumbled Sunny, and Hero’s face flushed. He never could take a good compliment.

“You can say that again,” chuckled Kyle with a nod of agreement. “If you ever change your mind about the whole monk thing, I can totally set you up.”

Hero sighed, but he somehow managed, “Thanks, Kyle, but I’m good.”

“Suit yourself,” he replied with a shrug before taking a drink of his coffee. As he twisted the cup around in his hands, his smile widened. “Well I’m glad I’m not a monk ‘cause it looks like I’ve got a date this weekend with a barista.” He pointed to the phone number carefully scrawled across the sleeve of his coffee cup before glancing over his shoulder and winking at the giggly barista again. “Her name’s Kristin. She likes dogs and macchiatos, goes to our school, and is an English major.”

Hero tilted his head. He was honestly kind of impressed Kyle had managed to learn so much about the barista in such a short conversation.

“And she’s super cute too, don’t you think?” Kyle asked with a playful click of his tongue.

Sunny nodded in agreement. “She has pretty eyes.”

Hero’s brow furrowed, and he bit his lip—wracking his brain, trying to remember what color eyes the barista had even had. As he stared awkwardly at his hands, he was forced to accept that he just honestly didn’t know and, truthfully, he could barely even call to mind a vague image of how she looked. He fidgeted in his seat—guilty and awkward, fighting the temptation to glance at her over his shoulder to remind himself what she had looked like. But the truth was…it wouldn’t make a difference. He hadn’t noticed—honestly, he never really noticed anyone’s attractiveness anymore. He struggled to call to mind the features of their faces, their physical attributes, or even the color of their eyes. It wasn’t a conscious thing or something he specifically avoided, but it just didn’t register with him—almost as if, even now, he just couldn’t see anyone but Mari.

It truthfully made him feel a bit guilty, especially in cases like these when he was sure the barista truly was lovely. It seemed wrong not to have noticed or appreciated how pretty she was. But the more he thought about it, the more he thought it was probably a good thing. After all, he was terrified if he looked at someone else too long, he’d just start wishing she was Mari instead. And that wouldn’t be fair, to any of them.

For Kyle’s sake, however, he managed a slight twitch of a smile and a quiet, “Yeah, she seems really nice.”

Kyle laughed again, but his bright, toothy grin widened. Before he could say anything more, however, there was a repetitive, melodious beeping noise. Sunny perked up in surprise—blinking as Kyle pulled a cellphone out of his pocket. They weren’t particularly common in Faraway Town to begin with, and with Sunny having been isolated in his house for four years, Hero wasn’t entirely sure if he had ever actually seen one in person before. He didn’t want to embarrass Sunny by drawing attention to that, however, so he just sat back quietly and watched as Sunny’s eye widened while Kyle quickly and somewhat apologetically waved his hand at them with a swift, “Hold on, just a sec—I’ve got to take this” and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hello—” He paused, then huffed. “Zuzu, where the hell are you?” There was another pause, followed by Kyle rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Hero turned away, trying his best not to eavesdrop on Kyle’s conversation, but that was easier said than done when Kyle loudly exclaimed, “I thought they broke up…!” He ran his hand through his hair. “Well tell her if she’s that desperate for a boyfriend, I’ll date her.”

Kyle stopped, trying and failing to stifle a laugh that came out as more of snort, before he scolded, “That’s not funny.” He twisted his mouth to the side. “I don’t care if it’s true—it’s not funny.”

Hero tried his best to turn to his attention back to his cup of tea, but it was empty now. He fidgeted in his seat—feeling awkward as if he had intruded on something he shouldn’t have. Sunny, however, was positively enraptured—curiously watching Kyle as he continued his conversation. Kyle didn’t seem to mind this—turning to smile at them with a light chuckle.

“It’s fine,” he finally said to the person on the other line. “I actually ran into some friends. You remember Mama, right—the guy I told you about? He’s basically a grandpa, like you—boring, responsible, studies all the time. He’s gonna be a doctor… And he can cook and he uses fabric softener—”

Hero twisted his hands. It was strange and somewhat embarrassing to think of Kyle talking about him to strangers, even if what he was saying was nice. It certainly wasn’t something he thought he should be listening to.

“That’s so mean!” Kyle exclaimed with scoff. “You know, if you ever do meet, you’re gonna feel so bad about saying that because, I’m tellin’ you, he’s like a literal saint.” He paused—his nose wrinkling as his frowned, but he emphatically insisted, “I am not trying to set you up! But it would totally do both of you some good…” As Kyle teasingly shook his head, Hero could have sworn he shot him a playfully pointed look. His face flushed—blushing even more red when he realized Sunny was sitting right there. “When was the last time that you—hey! Don’t hang up on me!” He paused, pouting, and Hero sighed in relief. “Well tell the Admiral, I’ll pay for more minutes”—he sighed with a conceding shake of his head—”Fine. I’ll see you soon... Ciao!”

Shaking his head, Kyle clicked the phone off then turned to Hero and Sunny with a shrug of his shoulders. “Sorry about that. My friends are parking. They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Oh well…we should probably get going. We wouldn’t want to intrude,” said Hero, but Kyle just waved his hand.

“You’re welcome to stick around,” Kyle insisted. “You’ve never gotten to meet Zuzu before, ‘cause, you know, she’s boring and doesn’t party.” He chuckled before he poked Hero in the arm. “Kinda like you actually. You know, you guys have a lot in common—I bet you would be friends.”

Hero sighed. Kyle had been telling him this for months now and, just like the girl on the other end of his phone call, Hero had also suspected that he was trying to set them up which was definitely not something he wanted. Truthfully, he had been avoiding meeting her on purpose, for this reason, because he didn’t want to make things awkward or give her the wrong impression or, he supposed, encourage Kyle to keep doing things like this. He’d be better off with Kyle thinking he actually wanted to be a monk, just so he could avoid the discomfort and awkwardness of him trying to set him up with his friends.

Hero sighed. He knew Kyle was well-meaning, and to be perfectly fair, from all accounts, his friend Zuzu sounded like a lovely and very accomplished person. She was the salutatorian of their extremely competitive private high school and was now studying civil engineering on a full-ride scholarship. Kyle said she was witty, spunky, responsible, and self-assured. He joked he couldn’t understand what she was saying half the time and she had absolutely no patience for any of his antics, but he swore she was often the only thing standing between him and an extremely stupid and reckless decision that could ruin his life. As guilty as Hero felt thinking about it, he had always wondered how such wildly different people could have become friends in the first place. But he supposed it was none of his business.

“Why don’t you stick around—just for a little while?” Kyle asked, pulling Hero out of his thoughts. He sighed heavily. He didn’t want to argue. In any other scenario, he’d likely acquiesce, but Sunny… Hero glanced over at him now—blinking with his usual blank expression. He didn’t want Sunny to have to have to see that. It was bad enough that he had to sit there and listen to Kyle make all those jokes about Hero’s love life or lack thereof. He didn’t even want to imagine what he’d think if Kyle actually tried to set him up with a girl in front of him—how disrespectful that would be to Mari, as if she was in any way replaceable.

Hero’s chest ached, and he swallowed hard. He steeled himself with a shaky breath and tried his best to be nonchalant as he forced a smile. “Thanks, Kyle, but Sunny lives across town, and I really need to be getting him home. His mom will be worried.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Kyle chuckled, but he threw up his hands and conceded, “Alright fine. Next time then.” He turned to Sunny with a smile. “It was nice meeting you, Sunny. Help me get Hero to join my frat, so we can see each other again. I’ll look into that mattress stuff too—what’s it called again?”

“A high-density viscoelastic polyurethane mattress,” Sunny answered with a emphatic nod.

“Gotcha.” Kyle laughed, then patted Hero on the back as he stood up from his seat at the table. “If I get you one of these, you’re gonna join, right?”

Hero’s sighed—sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. “Kyle…I—I’ll think about it.”

“Sweet!” exclaimed Kyle waving his fist excitedly in the air. “Pledge week is coming up. I’ll send you the details, okay?”

“Okay,” sighed Hero, but a slight smile tugged at his mouth. “See you around, Kyle.”

As Kyle waved goodbye to them, Sunny and Hero stacked their dishes on the designated counter, threw away their trash, then made their way to the door of the coffee shop. Hero felt Sunny tugging on his sleeve—stopping him before he walked out into the now pouring rain. Glancing out at the rain pelting against the windows, Hero sighed heavily. What had been light sprinkles when they had arrived had somehow quickly become a torrential downpour. Sunny held up the black umbrella Hero had given him earlier, and Hero nodded at him with a smile.

“Good idea, Sunny,” he said. Sunny began to fidget with the umbrella in his hands, but since there was very little room in Layla’s cramped and crowded entryway, Hero stepped out into the rain, holding the door for Sunny so he could open the umbrella as he walked out onto the sidewalk. Within moments, he could feel the rainwater seeping into his shirt and his hair—dripping down into his face. He wiped his hand across his eyes—trying to clear away at least some of the excess water before he closed the door. When he looked up, he caught sight of two young ladies scurrying towards the coffee shop under a red umbrella. He shifted behind the door again, holding it open for them. It was the polite thing to do and besides, he was already wet.

One of the girls giggled a bubbly, “Thank you” as she ducked inside.

While the other quipped dryly, “What do you know—chivalry isn’t dead.”

Hero chuckled lightly, before he could stop himself, and tried to stifle his laugh with his hand since the delivery was so dry and deadpan, he wasn’t sure she was trying to be funny. Even so, it must have caught her attention. She shifted the red umbrella in her hands so she could look over her shoulder, smiling at him with bright green eyes.

“Thank you,” she said with a tilt of her head before she waved her hand, closed her dripping umbrella, and gave it a few shakes on the sidewalk for good measure.

“You’re welcome,” he answered as she finally disappeared through the doorway,

Hero could have sworn he heard her companion excitedly whispering between bursts of giggles, “Who is that? He’s so cute. We should talk to him.”

“Lorraine,” scolded the girl with the red umbrella, sounding thoroughly unamused. “He’s leaving, and he can probably hear you.”

“Oh let him,” huffed the other girl. “If he’s that good looking, he has to know it already.”

Hero blushed. He could feel the tips of his ears begin to burn. It was only then that he realized he was still standing there—eavesdropping on strangers’ conversations. Ruffling his hand through his damp hair, he looked up above his head, noticing the black umbrella Sunny was holding out to him.

“Thanks, Sunny,” mumbled Hero, his cheeks warm as he watched his shuffling feet on the sidewalk. He finally closed the door to Layla’s which jingled shut behind him and scratched the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle, “Sorry. Guess I zoned out there for a second.”

“That’s okay,” Sunny gently insisted with a nod. “You can stay with your friends if you want.”

Hero shook his head quickly, huddling next to Sunny under the umbrella as they took off down the walkway towards the mattress store and the place they had parked. “You know, Sunny, it’s fine. I don’t really know Kyle’s friends, and even if I did, I wouldn’t want to intrude.” He paused, smiled. “Besides, today is about me spending time with you.”

Sunny blinked at him. “But if you met Kyle’s friends, they could be your friends too, right?”

His face flushing, Hero pursed his lips together, but he managed a hum. “Yeah…I’m sure they would be.”

“Kel says that if you make friends with someone who’s really friendly then they can introduce you to all their friends and then you’ll have a lot of friends.”

“That’s really good advice,” Hero replied with a slight smile, but he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Had he worried Sunny somehow? His face flushed. He couldn’t stand the idea of people worrying about him. “Look, uh…Sunny…is this about what I said at Basil’s house about how I’ve been so busy studying that I haven’t made a lot of friends at school yet?”

Sunny blinked at him blankly—his expression as unreadable as usual, but the fact that he didn’t say ‘no’ made Hero fidget with his hands. “If you joined Kyle’s fraternity, you could study and make friends at the same time because your friends would live in your house.”

“I uh…suppose that’s true, but um…”

“Kyle is nice. I bet his friends are nice too,” Sunny quietly interrupted. “He wants you to meet his one friend, Zuzu, but you haven’t yet.”

Hero nervously fumbled around in his pocket for his car keys. He wished he could sink into the sidewalk. He did not want to have to explain this to anyone, but least of all to Sunny. He scrambled to think of another excuse. “Right well uh…I’ve been really busy and um…Kyle says she’s an engineering major so she’s really busy too, and neither of us really go to parties that much and—”

“Is it because he’s trying to set you up?” Sunny asked—monotone, matter-of-fact.

Hero’s trembling hands dropped his keys. Bending to the ground, he picked them up and unlocked his car. He left Sunny with the umbrella then ran to the driver’s seat—climbing inside the car and shaking off the excess water. When he turned towards Sunny again, he was still blinking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Biting his lip, Hero sighed heavily. “I’m sorry you had to hear that, Sunny” he said. “Kyle means well, but uh…he doesn’t know about Mari.” He paused sighing again as something ached in his chest. “It’s not because it’s some big secret or I’m trying to forget about her or I don’t think about her anymore. I just…it’s actually kind of the opposite really… I think about her all time—miss her every day. I’m sure you do too. It’s just…hard to talk about—hard to explain. I don’t know if Kyle or anyone would really understand and then I’d just make them sad or worried. I don’t want them to feel bad for me, you know? But uh”—his voice hitched, got caught in the back of his throat—“I’m not trying to pretend or forget or replace her. I could never replace her…would never even want to try.”

“Not replace,” Sunny quietly interrupted. “If you make new friends, you can still keep your old ones.”

Sunny paused, and Hero could have almost sworn he heard him sniffle but he couldn’t bring himself to look at him as Sunny continued, “Mari wouldn’t want you to be lonely.”

Something panged and twisted in Hero’s chest. Tears prickled behind his eyes. He shut them tightly as Sunny’s voice hitched, something breaking in it as he said, “I don’t want you to be lonely either. I’m so sorry…”

Hero turned towards Sunny, watching the tear that struggled free from his good eye. He lunged forward over the center console of his car and hugged him tightly.

“No, Sunny. It’s okay,” he insisted, but he could feel Sunny shake his head.

“It’s all my fault,” he mumbled into his shoulder.

Hero cleared his throat, his eyes burning as he desperately stumbled over his words. “No—it’s…it’s not. I know it isn’t. It was an accident, and it’s not all your fault.”

Hero took a long, shaky breath, trying his best to comfortingly run his hand across Sunny’s back. The words started tumbling out of his mouth—whether as comfort for Sunny or for himself he wasn’t entirely sure. “Didn’t you hear what Kyle said earlier about his bad knee giving out on him? There’s a name for that. It’s called ‘patellar instability,’ and it’s a real medical condition, a complication that happens after someone seriously injures their knee. The joint’s weakened—just can’t support their weight sometimes. It’ll buckle, and the person will fall.”

He paused, trying to catch his wavering breath. “That’s how Kyle and I really became friends actually. We were at a party, and Kyle’s knee gave out when he was dancing on a table and he fell on the floor, really hurt himself. I helped patch him up and took him home.” Hero swallowed hard but admitted, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot over the past couple of months—ever since you told us the truth. I’ve been reading about it too—got a bunch of books from the library. And Sunny…” He pulled away from him—placing his hands firmly on his shoulders, waiting until he finally met his eyes. “You know that I forgive you, no matter what—even if I’m all wrong about this. I know I’m just a nobody—not a doctor or anything, at least not yet, but…I am telling you, I really think that’s what happened to Mari. Her bad knee that just never healed right—it gave out on her.”

“But…Hero…” choked Sunny, cutting him off. “I pushed her.”

His heart ached, and he shut his misty eyes tightly. “I know,” he admitted. “But I also know you didn’t mean to push her down the stairs—you loved Mari and didn’t want to hurt her. I know that we can’t ever really know for sure, but Sunny, I promise I know—I just…I’m not sure I can even really explain how, but I can feel it. I just know that if it wasn’t for that bad knee, she wouldn’t have fallen the way she did. It was a tragic accident.”

Hero could feel Sunny tighten his grip around him, could feel his fingers digging into the shirt on his back. He didn’t say anything—just hugged him in silence for a long, long time.

Hero honestly wasn’t sure how long it was until Sunny finally broke away from him—wiping his hand across his eye. “Thanks…” he quietly mumbled, though Hero knew the words meant infinitely more.

With a gentle smile, he reached out a hand to pat Sunny on the head. “Any time, Sunny. I’m always here for you, okay?”

Sunny nodded, and Hero’s expression softened. Something warm spread through his chest as he watched the smallest hint of a smile curve in the corners of Sunny’s mouth.

After another long pause, Sunny pursed his lips together, and his eyebrows twitched as he asked, “Is Kyle gonna be okay, you think?”

A slight smile tugged at the corners of Hero’s mouth. It was an unexpected question but very kind. Sunny had always been so thoughtful. “Yes, I’m sure Kyle is gonna be just fine.” Truthfully, Kyle’s excessive partying and underage binge drinking were probably much bigger problems than his bad knee could ever be, but he didn’t think it would be right to tell Sunny that.

“Can you join his fraternity and keep an eye on him?”

Hero rubbed his hand across the nape of his neck. “You really want me to do that, huh?”

Sunny shrugged, but he nodded. “You might get to sleep on a high-density viscoelastic polyurethane mattress. That’s an 11 out of 10.” A smile twitched in the corners of his mouth. “You deserve an 11 out of 10.”

Hero’s smile widened, just barely. “Thanks, Sunny.”

“And Kyle needs a babysitter—who knows what’ll happen to him without you,” he said matter-of-factly, with that deadpan humor he didn’t hear from Sunny as much as anymore. Hero chuckled in spite of himself. It was nice to hear Sunny joke again.

“I really think Kyle can take care of himself,” he reassured him. “He’s actually much smarter than people give him credit for. He’s in all kinds of difficult science classes with me because he wants to be a physical therapist.”

“So he can help other people recover when they hurt their knees?” Sunny quietly interrupted, and Hero nodded.

Sunny blinked at him, the lingering ghosts of tears in his good eye. “Is that what you want to do too?” he asked. “When you become a doctor, will you help other kids with bad knees—make sure they get better and nothing bad happens to them?”

Something in panged Hero’s chest, but his brow furrowed. He honestly hadn’t thought about that before. Truthfully, when he thought about becoming a physician one day he mainly just thought about the long hours of school and work it would require and figured that when the time came, he would just choose a specialty that would keep him exceptionally busy for the rest of his life. That was the goal, after all, but… Maybe Sunny had a point. Maybe like Kyle, he could choose a career path that was personally meaningful to him—could honor Mari by dedicating the rest of his life to trying to prevent another tragedy. His heart ached. He couldn’t save her, but maybe he could save someone else.

“Do you…do you really think I could do that…?” Hero hadn’t realized he had asked the question aloud until he heard Sunny hum and nod at him.

“You’re Hero,” he said matter-of-factly as if it was the easiest, simplest explanation in the world. “I think you can do anything.”

Sniffling, Hero wrapped his arms around Sunny’s shoulders and hugged him again. “Thank you,” he mumbled as he pressed his chin to his shoulder. With a deep breath, he pulled away from him to start the car. “We should probably head home, huh?”

Sunny nodded, and Hero turned the key in the ignition, starting the car and the low hum of the radio again. He stopped suddenly—the familiar chord progression making his breath catch in his throat. He hadn’t heard this song in ages—hadn’t let himself listen to it, but he’d recognize it anywhere, could feel the words “To lead a better life, I need my love to be here…” aching in his bones.

Instinctively, Hero reached out his hand to shut off the radio, but he heard Sunny’s breath hitch as he whispered, “Mari…Mari loved this song…”

Hero sniffled. He glanced over at Sunny almost pleadingly as his hand hovered in front of the radio dial. As he shut his eyes tightly, he felt a tear finally struggle free. “I’m so sorry, Sunny…I just…I haven’t been able to listen to it since—”

With a click, the music stopped. Sunny had tapped the button. “It’s okay,” he mumbled—something soft, something reassuring in his voice. “Maybe you will again someday.”

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