#WALTER PUT YOUR DICK AWAY

[dyl-and]

breaking bad is the worst show to only have second hand knowledge of bc for a while i was fully convinced jesse pinkman comes out as being ftm in the series finale

[vanerchest]

so...

after i watched Hellsing Abriged... that's only what i maked :'}

[yuka-kirabaki]

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a Virtual Youtuber empire for over a year now and using me as his recruiter. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my Live2D knowledge to recruit talents, which he would then hire using his connections in the Japanese utaite world. Connections that he made through his career with Niconico. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small indie channel could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Motoaki "Yagoo" Tanigo, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Yagoo threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Yagoo had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Yagoo flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Yagoo was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Riku Tazumi , he plotted to kill Yagoo, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Cover Corp, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my vtubing activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.

[phantasmarina]

name a character who went through more pain than her. i’ll wait.

[ask-walter-and-vince]

Walter? Walter White?

walter put your dick away walter

[charmingsoa]

✶ Where the Wild Things Are: Prequel ✶ ■ 1960s Sons of Anarchy story ■

⌃ Jax Teller/ OC x Thomas Teller/OC ⌃

Warning: Please read with caution. This story will include: drug use, physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. miscarriages, sexual content, alcohol use, homicide, cursing, etc. ★ If You would like to be tagged in future updates, simply leave your username in the comments.

When I look back on my life – I often wonder if I made the right choices when I was younger. I obviously got to my place in life because of what happened all those years ago in California. Hell, there were times when I didn’t even think I would make it out alive. Growing up, my parents were very strict – almost authoritarian. My father had fought for his country in WWII and my mother was your typical housewife. The picture-perfect look was what they strived for – putting my brothers and I in whatever activities they could. There were structured rules that were drilled into our heads from day one.

No elbows on the table Respect your parents and your elders Girls and woman are to bow down to menfolk and do what they’re told. Women are forbidden to wear pants or short skirts. Girls can attend secondary school but will not be allowed to attend college. Marriage, motherhood, and the act of obeying your husband is the most important role in a woman’s life.

I distinctly remember my father telling me that if I wanted to dress like a whore, I can plant myself on the side of the highway and start making a living for myself. I spent most of my childhood bowing down to everything my father said. He instilled that fear in me as a young girl – always being on the back end of his belt or switch if I was “bad” enough. I was the only daughter – I needed to be picture perfect and like a doll. My mother would stand idly by as he inflicted his abuse on me – only doing so because he loved and cared about me.

Total bullshit if you ask me.

I guess you can say with all the structure and ruling that fell at the hand of my father – you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that I rebelled. Starting at the early age of 13, I snuck out of the house to meet the boys from the wrong sides of the tracks. We would listen to the devil’s music as my father called it – getting high as kites.  My flower-patterned dress would be hiked up above my waist – my legs wrapped tightly around the guy’s hips – as they pounded into me. My mother always preached that a girl should stay pure until the night of their wedding -giving the gift of virginity to their awaiting husband.

 I lost that gift behind the First Methodist Church to a kid three grades ahead of me. It was meaningless and hurt like hell, but after that I couldn’t get enough.

By the time I hit 16, I had fucked half the senior class. I gained a reputation as the 10th grade slut – willing to do anything and anyone. Now, was this true – partially. I didn’t care if you were the ugliest guy in class – if you had a dick then I was ready and willing. I was never one to seek the guys out first. They would come to me and a couple minutes later they would be making me cum. There were rumors that I was a child prostitute – my parents were less than thrilled to hear that be brought up during a meeting with the principal.

At that point, I was pulled out of the school and sent to an all-girls catholic school about 45 minutes from home. My father made sure to drive me every day and would stay on the premises until school was over. Even if I wanted to ditch class and run away, Roy Landry was watching like a fucking hawk. I managed to mellow out a little once I graduated high school – I guess being locked up like Rapunzel will do that to people. I wasn’t allowed to go to prom – parties thrown by the other girls - I was isolated in my room. While my brothers were living their lives, I was stuck watching Walter Cronkite on the CBS Evening News with Brenda and Roy ever night.

I’m sure you’re trying to figure out where I’m going with all this information – I swear it’s important given the truth you’re about to hear.

A girl who hitchhiked all the way to California- fell in love with two brothers who despised each other – watching as they both fell into the pits of hell by creating the most dangerous motorcycle gang in Northern Cali – my story has to start somewhere, right?

[catierambles]

Alternate Instincts Ch.8

Pairing: The Rogue’s Gallery (Geralt, Syverson, Mike, August Walker, Walter Marshall) x Stephanie Daniels (OFC)

WC 1147

Warning: Smutty smutty smut smut smut

It was Who Knows o’clock when she woke up, disentangling herself from Walter who only tried to pull her closer again.

“I gotta go to the bathroom.” She said and he grumbled but released her, letting her get out of bed. Leaving the bedroom, she walked down the hall to the bathroom. After doing her business and washing her hands, she left and nearly jumped out of her skin as August was standing in the hallway as if waiting for her. “You have got to stop doing that.”

“Geralt told me the Council said you're staying put.” He said and she nodded.

“You'll have to deal with me until Jordan is taken care of.” She said, “I'll stay out of your way, you won't even notice I'm here.”

“I doubt that.” He said and she stared at him a moment before sighing, going to move around him in the hall, but stopped.

“August, I get that me being your Mate isn't your ideal, but don't be a dick about it. You think I chose this? You think I did this on purpose? I had about as much control over it as you did, less so, even. I'll tell you what I told the others: I'm not holding you to the whole Mate thing. You can do whatever you want to whoever you want. None of my business or concern. You don't like that I'm your Mate? Okay, fine. When this is all over, you never have to see me again. In the meantime, stop being a raging asshole to me over something I had no control over. Fuckhead.” He didn't say anything the entire time she spoke, just stared down at her. “Whatever. Goodnight.” She went to leave but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back. “What?”

“I don't want anyone else.”

“Well you sure as shit don't want me.” Stephanie said, pulling her arm out of his grasp, “So I guess be okay with being alone.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn't have to.”

“Do you want me?”

“What?” She asked and he backed her against the wall quickly, making her gasp.

“Do. You. Want. Me.” He asked, looking down at her.

“August, I--”

“Answer the question, Stephanie.” He said and she stared up at him for a moment.

“Yes.” She said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Holding the back of her neck, he kissed her, hard, pushing his tongue into her mouth and pulling her closer. Sliding his hand under shirt, he palmed her breast, his thumb moving over the peak and making her whimper into his mouth.

“Are you taking birth control?” He asked when he pulled away.

“Something like that.” She said and he gave her a questioning look, “I'll explain later, but the short answer is I can't have kids.”

“Okay.” He said and picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist and he carried her into his room. August nearly threw her down on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it aside before he laid over her, taking her mouth again in a dominating kiss. Her hands held his cheeks, nails moving through the heavy stubble covering his jaw and they broke apart only long enough for him to pull her shirt over her head, throwing it aside as well before his mouth went to her chest, taking the tip of one breast between his lips, a shiver racing down his spine as her fingers moved through his hair. “So sweet.” He whispered before he kissed her again, barely noticing as her hand wrapped around his bicep, her leg sliding over his thigh. With a push, he was on his back and she sat up on his hips and his hands went to her thighs as she leaned over him, kissing him and running her fingers through his hair.

Sliding his hands to her back, he pushed them over her skin, easing her shorts down and taking handfuls of her ass, squeezing and making her whimper again.

“Fucking love that sound.” He said and she giggled, her head darting under his jaw to run her tongue along his neck. August hissed as she bit down, his eyes rolling back as she sucked on his skin, marking him as hers. Rolling, she was under him again and he pulled her shorts down and off along with her small clothes, standing from the bed to look down at her nude on his blankets, the sight making his lips part. Pushing his sleep pants down, he kicked them away, taking himself in his hand and stroking slowly at the way her eyes moved over him. Wrapping his hands around her waist, he flipped her onto her stomach easily, grabbing one of his pillows and putting it under her hips.

His palms moving over her thighs and back made her gasp, and she pushed back against him as he eased two fingers into her, pumping them slowly, moving them inside her.

“Fuck, August, yes.” Stephanie whispered and his tongue took the place of his fingers as he buried his mouth in her, lapping at her slowly.

“So fucking sweet.” He said, sealing his lips around her clit and sucking, a short sound leaving her lips. Her arousal coated his tongue, the taste of her need for him filling his mouth and he stood, leaning over her, bracing himself with a hand pressed next to her shoulder. Aligning them briefly, he pushed into her slowly, a groan shaking his chest as he was enveloped in tight, wet heat. His knees kept hers together as he started to move, rocking into her, every sound she made with every push of his hips driving him further and faster.

Her fingers curled in his blankets in a white knuckle grip and he grabbed her chin with one hand, turning her face to him and kissing her, pressing his forehead to her temple, watching as her eyes rolled back behind her lids.

“Do I feel good, Mate?” He asked and she nodded. “Say it.”

“You feel good.”

“Be specific. What feels good?”

“Your cock feels so good.”

“That's my good girl.” He held her hip, his snapping her into ass, “That's my good fucking girl. My perfect Mate. Fuck you feel so good. Like this pussy was made for me.” She started rocking back against him, chasing her release and he pressed a hand between her shoulders, keeping her against the blankets as he drove them higher and higher. She came suddenly with a cry, pushing back flush against him, taking him fully as she pulsed around him. His hips slowed, easing her through her orgasm before they stopped buried deep inside her.

“You--you didn't--”

“Oh, Stephanie,” August said, leaning over and pressing his lips to her shoulder, “I'm going to show you what it means to be the Mate of a wolf.”

[capncuk]

"sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating cheetos and masturbating" waltwr why are you thinking about jesse masturbating. put your dick away walter

[sarahhillips]

Hey I’m Toasted Watching Libertys Kids. Here are my comments

Boston Tea Party

First I’m so happy that every episode is available on YouTube! That makes things so much easier.

The theme song has NO RIGHT to hit this hard. Why isn’t this our national anthem? 🥹

For real though, the premise of this show overall has potential for an Outlander quality show for us big kids.

The opening montage? Cinema.

Walter Cronkite as Ben Franklin is A+ casting because his name ends in kite.

I love how Sarah’s so calm even though she’s trapped in a stormy ship. Maybe it’s because she’s hyper focused when she’s writing. I was on a cruise once and panicked when the ship got to swayey for me.

I love how Sarah adores her father. Leaving London for a new land unsupervised as a teenage girl sounds wild.

Moses is done with James already

Moses doesn’t end up having kids because he basically already had kids and said that’s enough for me.

“It’s addressed to Moses! You look like James!”😆 He’s so cute.

THAT TRANSITION

Omg it’s the beer guy. Beer overthrew tea.

It’s pretty hardcore that they have a picture of the redcoats murdering them hanging on the tavern wall.

Imagine walking out to the deck of a ship to see strange and unfamiliar land. Also where is the captain??? Why is she the only person on the ship when they break in to it?

The sons of liberty look like they’re going to coachella.

“Mom? How did you and dad meet?” “I hit him with a pillow stuffed with books and insulted his grammar.”

When she cute but conservative af

“You’re Sarah Phillips!?”

“Dr. Franklin sent YOU?”

Why didn’t Moses go below deck first?

Bro straight up tore her locket off on purpose. He always wanted to do that to a woman.

Moses calling them big ugly hogs 😂😂

If James and Henri stink that bad, poor Sarah must have been suffocating under that blanket.

Omg Sarah we don’t just ask people if they’re slaves.

Ok real talk though, how many of you have been to an African American history museum with a slave ship hallway? Because that was horrific.

Phylis Wheatley should have written the Declaration, not Jefferson.

Sarah dropping the mic more than Hamilton tbh

Sarahs doing pretty well for a rich girl sleeping in a barn for the first time

Bro that is not sanity, throw that fish away

Look at all the wigs!

OMG you guys the tea party is totes Bens fault. Ben looks so done with them.

The Intolerable Acts

Dear mom, this is not the airbnb that I wanted

“English Henri!” “I’m counting the English!”

WIGS! WIGS!?

Ben literally said suck my dick at Parliament.

James not noticing the redcoats in the barn for five minutes

The redcoats act like Karens.

Sarah don’t have time for your shit James

That captain is such a piece of shit. Henris backstory is lowkey fucked up.

I’d like to have more of a backstory on James’ parents.

*heavenly music*

He just put Sarah on the spot like that and she outwitted him beautifully.

When a man gives you his outerwear, he’s at your service forever.

Dear mom I’m finally in the right airbnb

Bro just straight up gave up his ring so she could have a locket omg 🥺

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Cappuccino

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: Our very own, lovely @geralts-yenn gave me the idea for barista!Mike, and this little fluffy idea wormed its way out of my brain... Enjoy!

Pairing: barista!Mike (Hellraiser) x reader (you)

Summary: The first time you don't get what you ordered is an accident, but what about all those times after that?

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Mike messing with someone's drink order - which is a dick move, but this is fiction. Don't do this IRL though, it's literally the worst.

@deandoesthingstome @keanureevesisbae @fvckinghenrycavill @ellethespaceunicorn @peaches1958 @sillyrabbit81 @peyton-warren @summersong69 @mayloma @livisss

“Something wrong?” The guy behind the counter doesn’t meet your gaze. Instead, he looks away. It’s almost as if he’s... shy.

“Yeah,” you laugh. You’re not exactly super comfy with this situation, either, and you turn your eyes to the name tag on his apron. Mike. “I’m ninety-ish percent sure I ordered oat milk?” Now he looks up at you, and you look back. He has gorgeous eyes. They’re blue, with a little spec of brown in the left one. Not that the rest of him disappoints. Tall, dark hair, strong features. Killer smile. Sharp canines, kinda look like little fangs, would probably feel nice when biting down on your... Right, moving on. What were you doing again? Right. Ninety percent sure you ordered oat milk. Alright, eighty percent. Steadily moving towards seventy, actually.

“Shit, I missed that!” he says, almost knocking a carton of whatever off the counter. “Are you allergic? Please tell me I didn’t just almost kill you or something, that would be a shame! I mean... Oh, forget it.”

“No,” you laugh, “no allergies, don’t worry. I just prefer the taste. There’s actually a solid chance I didn’t even mention the oat milk.”

“Oh, thank fu-, eh... Thank god! You had me worried there for a second, Sweetcheeks!” His laugh is sweet but dark, and the way he bites his bottom lip has you swooning. “I’ll make you a new one, though. Cappuccino, right?”

You like watching him work. He’s tall enough that when he turns around to the coffee machine, you can see his butt. It’s cute. Very cute.

“Do you want this one to go?” he asks when he’s done.

“Eh, no, I-I can stay a bit longer.” You say it as if you’re somehow doing him a favor by staying. You’re not. Probably. He doesn’t care about you, he’s just doing his job.

“Cappuccino with oat milk to go?” It’s absolutely pathetic how quickly this coffee shop is becoming your favorite, just because of the cutie behind the counter. Even if that cutie messes up your order every single time. Either he’s not very good at his job – impossible, the grumpy manager never would have kept him on if he was – or he’s doing it on purpose.

You reach out to take the cup Mike holds up to you. Over the past week, you’ve started ordering your drinks in to go cups even though you almost always finish them at your table, just because you want to see those long slender fingers wrapped around that cup. As previously mentioned: absolutely pathetic.

“Shit!” you yell when his fingers touch yours as you take the cup from him, and it startles you so much you don’t actually – y’know – take the cup. “I’m so sorry, it just... slipped.”

“No worries,” Mike says. It really sounds as if he’s completely unbothered by the little accident.

“Mike, clean that up, now,” his manager growls.

“On it, Walter,” Mike says as he cleans the spilled coffee off the counter. Then, he mutters something under his breath about how 'someone should get him a nice cup of chamomile tea to calm the fuck down.’ He smiles at you again. “Don’t mind him.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” It’s not a great conversation, but it’s something. Mike finishes cleaning the counter when Walter shows up next to him.

“Cappuccino with oat milk to go,” Walter says, and he demonstratively puts the cup down on the counter before sliding it over to you. You make the mistake of looking at Mike during the little show, and you both struggle to keep your laughter in.

“See you tomorrow?” Mike asks as you take your cup and get ready to leave – you’re really running late for something today.

“You bet.” As you leave the shop, you miss the whack in the head with the tea towel Mike gets from Walter.

“Cappuccino with oat milk to go,” Walter says before you even open your mouth.

“Add an extra shot, please,” you sigh. Walter smiles at you – weird, he never does that – and tells you your total. He didn’t charge you for the extra shot of espresso. So he’s not a complete jackass?

“Finals coming up, Sweetcheeks?” Mike says.

“Finished my last one this morning!” That also serves as an explanation for why you’re late. “I’m beat!”

“Did it go well, at least?” he says as he hands you your coffee – which you take from him without causing any accidents this time.

“I think so. Now, all I need is some coffee and a book to unwind.”

“Oh! Let me clear that table for you!” Mike paces to the window seat you love. Did he leave those cups there until you got here? No. That’s an absurd idea!

“Thanks, Mikey!” Is he okay with ‘Mikey’? Walter calls him that – or ‘Michael’, when he’s especially annoyed – but what if it’s only okay if he does it?

“More than welcome, Sweetcheeks!” He seems to be okay with it. Besides, you never gave him permission to call you ‘Sweetcheeks’. He gets back to work, while you settle into your sunny little nook with a book and your drink. There’s no way you can focus on reading. Your mind keeps wandering to Mike, and your eyes are drawn to your name on the cup. Walter wrote it, so it has your actual name on it. Mike just puts down ‘Sweetcheeks’ at this point. Do you go up there and demand he changes it? Is that like a cute, dorky little flirty thing or is it dumb and abrasive and way out of line? Oh well. Mike made your coffee, there’s bound to be something actually wrong with your order that’ll give you an excuse to talk to him again.

You take a sip. That’s a double shot cappuccino, alright! Glorious goddamn caffeine, hallelujah! You’re almost disappointed, because it’s exactly what you ordered. Except for that hint of... Hazelnut? Whatever it is, you don’t want to go exchange this, because it’s amazing.

“Hey, is it good?” Mike suddenly asks. He’s standing next to your table, and it feels unusual. Actually, it is unusual. You don’t typically interact without that counter between you.

“It’s great!” you stammer, cursing yourself for your inability to say anything else.

“Good. Eh... Great!” Mike swallows hard and smiles awkwardly.

“What... Eh... What did you do?” He towers over you, but you can’t ask him to sit down, because he’s working. Mike just shuffles his feet nervously. Is he aware of the same issue? Does he just not want to answer your question, or talk to you in general? What if he hates you? Yeah. That’s gotta be it. The guy who calls you ‘Sweetcheeks’ and writes it on your cup with a little heart next to it, and always asks if you’re going to be back tomorrow, and knows your favorite table in the place... He definitely hates you. There’s no other option. You roll your eyes at your own stupid insecurities, before they remind you that there’s a bit of wiggle room between ‘hate you’ and ‘into you’. But oh god you’re into him. So, so fucking into him.

“Hazelnut syrup,” Mike says. “Tiny bit. I... Eh... Do you like it?”

“I really do! I think I might even change my order from here on out!” you answer. “Thank you.”

Both of you turn your head when Walter sighs deeply from behind the counter before Mike can respond to you.

“Mike. Why don’t you take your lunch break first? I’ll go after.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head before continuing the drink he was making.

“Do you want to join me for a bit?” you ask before you can let your brain talk you out of it.

Mike scrambles for words for a minute. “Eh... Yes! Of course! Would love to. Eh... I’m in need of some coffee, though. Be right back!”

“Do you want me to show you how to make a cappuccino with oat milk?” Marshall suggests. “God knows that knowledge will save this place a small fortune.” You can’t help but chuckle when he says it. There’s no doubt in your mind anymore that Mike isn’t just a very bad barista, he really did mess up your order all those times so you’d come back to talk to him.

“Great offer, but just a regular black coffee will do.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and can’t suppress your own as Mike returns and sits down next to you.

“Hi. So...” he says nervously, “you heard that?”

“He wasn’t whispering, per se,” you chuckle. “It’s not his worst transgression of the day.” You point at the name on your cup. Mike understands immediately and pulls a Sharpie from his pocket to cross it out.

“There, Sweetcheeks,” he says as he turns the cup back so you can see what he wrote down. The cup says ‘Sweetcheeks’ now, with the same little heart and... “Figured it’s about time I give you my number.” Mike shrugs and looks away, his cheeks slightly red. Jesus fucking Christ he’s adorable.

“Ah, I see. There’s one problem.”

“If this is the part where you tell me you’re taken, can you at least wait until the end of my break?” Oh, poor little dork! All you want is to hug him. And give him lots of kisses. Possibly some other thi- Jesus, he’s really messing with your head...

“After all these weeks, that would literally be the rudest fucking thing! I’m single, no worries!” Mike lets his breath escape as soon as you finish your sentence. “The problem is that I’m going to throw that cup away. Do you mind putting that number directly in my phone, please?”

As soon as he’s done and hands you your phone back, you call the number. You sigh with relief when Mike grabs his phone from his pocket and your own number shows on the screen. It’s real.

“If we go out – and I really hope we will,” Mike says, “I have one condition.” From the corner of your eye, you see Walter. He’s been cleaning the corner of the counter that’s closest to you for a suspicious amount of time, clearly overly invested in your budding romance.

“I absolutely want to go out with you. What are your demands?” you reply, genuinely curious about what he has managed to come up with.

“No coffee!” he says. For once, he seems to be dead serious, but after a moment, you both laugh. Deal.

[lullaby-for-a-shark]

Hamildaddies Update

I have finished the first two songs

Alexander Hamilton/These Four Dads, yeah

Aaron Burr, Sir/Put Down That Phone, Son

Lyrics under the cut, pray for me :)

(also a TW for suicide, just in relation to Cern, it’s fleeting and unspecific)

These Four Dads, Yeah

ERIN

How would a vegan, rocker, son of a dick

And a coach dad, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot

In the forgotten realms, by some guys in purple robed collars

Get out in time for them to play soccer

CERN

An extreme, green, man who's always oh so very keen

Dad to two whack tweens, who steal all his time to clean

Having to stand between

His kids and a naked tree

His crunchy munchiness is all part of his neat routine 

SCAM LIKELY

And every day he would pray 

his step son wouldn’t cast him away, would this be the day?

He struggled and kept his guard up

Inside he was longing for something to be apart of

The step dad was ready to be, steal, or borrow a father 

RATTICUS FINCH

Then a guitar riff played, the Glenn Close Trio reigned 

Christmas music now rise, rising from the grave

Put a doobie in his face hole, let it ease his brain

Donning an awesome belt chain, to cover up all the pain

PAEDEN

Well, the word got around, they said ‘damn this guy can coach, man’

Good at doing dishes, the kitchen is his main land

He quit his college education 

On tax day he came

These dads, the words gonna know their names

The fuck are they man?

ENSEMBLE

These four dads, yeah

God please help these four dads, yeah

Your heart apart they will quickly tear

If you just wait, if you just wait

WALTER

With their kids they will split, various levels of tear ridden

In a short time they’ll have to find out where they’re hidden

Are they dead? Coping with being sick and brain thick?

And the longer we take the faster time seems to tick

YEET BIGLEY

They make some cool friends

One of which wants to commit suicide

His dead kids left him with broken pride

Nothing new inside

Henry says ‘McStuffins you gotta fend for yourself’

Which led to him retreating

A deck of cards placed placed on the shelf

DOUG

With their kids their conflicts they will have to try to dispute 

Before they’re all dead or destitute

Without a cent of restitution

Dealing with scamming while lamming

Henry and Darryl being ignored

Ron and Glenn mostly enjoying being abroad 

Scamming will become a real issue from now on

Planning seems impossible when you drive on

The issue at hand while in your cool van

ENSEMBLE

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

(If you just wait)

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

(If you just wait)

In the forgotten realms you can improve as a man

In the forgotten realms, forgotten realms

PAEDEN

If you just wait

ENSEMBLE

These four dads, yeah

(These four dads, yeah)

Mass destruction followed you

(Destruction followed you)

You never backed down

‘Cause you were running out of time

Oh, these four dads, yeah

(These four dads, yeah)

When all the friends you made sing for you

Will they know what you overcame?

That lives were lost to win the game?

Your world will never be the same, oh

ERIN

The van in in San Dimas now

See if you can spot them

They cannot possibly know 

That they will hit rock bottom

CERN

Their fatherhood destroyed their rep in the world of forgotten

CERN

Me, I fought with them

ERIN

Me, I helped them

PAEDEN

Me, I loved them

SCAM LIKELY

And me?

I'm the awesome guy that scammed ‘em

Your hearts apart they’ll quickly tear

If you just wait

They fuck are they man?

These four dads, yeah!

Put Down That Phone, Son

ENSEMBLE

Two Thousand and Nineteen

San Dimas

DARRYL

Put down that phone once you’ve won, son

GRANT

What is it this time?

DARRYL

Oh well tons, son 

You see I, Darryl Wilson have a task, son

We’ve got a job to do

GRANT

Oh goddamn it

DARRYL

Son, I know you love your soccer and I thought that maybe you could make some more friends

And you could get sorta buddy-buddy with that team of yours

If we carpool it could be fun, son

And look, there’s Glenn over there

GRANT

The weed one?

DARRYL

Yes!

Morning Glenn Close, I’ll have to shake your hand we’re not here for social revolution 

GLENN

I look at him like he’s stupid

DARRYL

I’m not stupid

So, your sons smoking weed, ha, guess they grow up so fast

GLENN

He’s only thirteen, but why wait for more time to pass?

DARRYL

About the smoking weed, of course

I’ve done it, God, back in ninety-four

I smoked more weed than we possibly could have ever

Paid for

GLENN

Can I get in the car?

DARRYL

That would be nice

GLENN

While we’re talking let me offer you some free advice

Care less

DARRYL

What?

GLENN

Chillax more

DARRYL

Ha

GLENN

‘Cause why would you want to live life like that for?

DARRYL

You can’t be serious 

GLENN

You wanna get ahead?

DARRYL

Yes

GLENN

Dads who are too square wind up dead

LARK 

Ah-yuh-yo-yo-yo, yo!

What time is it

SPARROW

Show time!

GLENN

Stop that dread

LARK

Showtime, showtime! Yo!

I’m Lark Oak in the place to be

And I’m punching the absolute shit out of this tree

And even though my dad may frown at me

Violence is the coolest in the world, you see

SPARROW

Yes yes brother, that’s as true as it can get

I Sparrow am one half of the best twin set

My enemies have scars

I make them see spinning stars

We are cool and awesome and et-cet-e-ra

HENRY

Guys Guys, I am the Henry Oak

Just a bloke, don’t choke

I heard your mother say “it’s not a joke”

So I don’t wanna enforce nor endorse

Your energy ‘cause it’s your passions source

So if you could get right into the car, sons

And later you can continue with your little

HENRY, LARK AND SPARROW

Revolution!

HENRY

With my extensive environmental knowledge

I suppose carpooling is fine if it’s acknowledged?

TERRY JR 

Good luck with that, I’m making you walk

Your shit oatmeal spit is even sick of your talk

I still don’t understand why the fuck you are here for

RON

I here ‘cause I’m your step dad

And you’re someone to cheer for 

GRANT

Ugh, are we good, are we good, are we good?

DARRYL

Yes we should be good son, yes we should…

edit: pasting the lyrics in instead of having screenshots

[beardedmrbean]

Walter. Put your dick away Walter. I'm not having sex with you right now.

[weezeryuri]

i hate echolalia. put your dick away walter. walter. walter i’m not having sex with you right now walter

[jesse-pinko]

how do u feel about breaking bad’s ending? i love breaking bad to death but my hatred of walt cant accept felina. i kinda understand what vince was going for but for me it doesnt align with the actions have consequences philosophy of the show. he deserved so much worse. i hate that jesse’s life was still in his hands and his choice to make. the only choice jesse gets thats truly his own is alsaka. you hate walt as passionately as i do so i was wondering if u agree.

Heyy @axolotlv sorry it took me so long to get around to answer this but honestly I haven’t quite parsed my feelings ab Felina myself, which is weird to think ab bc BrBa has been my hyperfixation for like six?? Some odd years?? It’s been awhile and there is no cure in sight. However I do have to disagree w your opinion on Jesse’s ending, esp now that we have the added context of El Camino to go off of. I thought it was perfect. I talked before in my post on Todd and Lydia as character foils to Jesse and Walt ab how Jesse strangling Todd is him freeing himself from a prison of both Walt’s making and his own, seeing as Todd and Lydia are both responsible for Jesse’s imprisonment and how they parallel Jesse and Walt respectively. I think the Gilliverse in general does a good job of both holding Jesse accountable for his choices while cutting him some moral slack on account of Walter’s abuse of power towards him. Jesse’s life is in Walter’s hands because Walter has essentially kept him in a state of mental captivity over the last few seasons, but he is the one who makes the choice to end it, by refusing to do Walt’s dirty work for him anymore, by refusing to commit another act of violence on his behalf. By putting the gun down. And in El Camino, he chooses not just to go to Alaska, but to accept what he has done and redeem himself not through jail time, but through becoming a better person, becoming the kind of person who puts as much good into the world as he did bad. And as much as we the viewers might have wanted Jesse to shoot Walter in the dick, at the end of the day, Jesse loves Walt. Despite everything, because of everything, Jesse loves and hates Walter as much as one might an actual abusive parent, and I think actually shooting Walt would have followed him for the rest of his life, no matter how justified he might have been in doing so.

With regards to Walter’s ending… my feelings are mixed. I’m willing to accept it because I think it brought Jesse a sense of closure that a more fitting punishment for Walt might not have, which was maybe the point. That it’s not about Walter anymore. He’s dead, his story is done, and he was so far gone that the only thing he could do in the way of redemption was do right by the person he hurt and loved the most. He allows Jesse’s story to continue at the expense of his own, and it’s maybe the first selfless thing he’s ever done in his life. And maybe the only thing he ever really did for his family. And, maybe, that he got what he wanted was also the point. Because on the surface, he’s had everything stripped away, he didn’t get what he wanted at all. Everyone who has ever met him wants him dead, including his whole family, his empire has fallen as soon and as fast as it rose. But all of those things were just stand-ins for what Walter really wanted, which was some agency over his own death, because he felt as though he didn’t have any over his own life (good thing he didn’t project this lack of agency onto anyone else, huh). So it’s sort of a monkey’s paw thing, where he gets what he wants, a good, meaningful death, at the expense of a good, meaningful life. Narratively speaking, it’s brilliant.

But I still kind of wish Jesse had shot him in the dick.

[neomedievalist]

mike ehrmantraut 🤝 jonathan

put your dick away walter

hey.

[manifold-updates]

Jack replied to Austin!

[VIDEO ID]

A picture of Mike Ehrmantraut from ‘Breaking Bad’, his voice can be heard and subtitles appear as he speaks.

‘Mike’: Walter, put your dick away Walter. I’m not having sex with you right now, Walter.

[END ID]