#WEREWOLVES WEREWOLVES WEREWOLVES AROOOOO

[mdvnkdfv]

Me Natalia and My Bestie Mary are Werewolves they are Monsters we get Hunger!!! Arooooo!!! @mary-2-p @loveangrybeavers

[gaygamesstarringmary]

“arooooo!” calls the gay werewolf

I will consume any media that is gay. A queer character can say one word and I eat that shit up.

But a guilty pleasure of mine is gay media clearly written by a straight person. Not the I-appreciate-the-effort types that come from a good place in the author’s heart. These attempts at queer representation are righteous. While God and his angels may cringe at these attempts, these attempts at representation aren’t thrown straight into the pits of Hell.

In Hell, I imagine a canyon overfilled with my guilty pleasure books. 

These are the gay situations clearly written because fetishization is a thing. Straight women love cute, usually college-aged boys. And what’s better than one cute boy? Two. And what’s better than two cute boys? Making them kiss!

I try not to judge those gay werewolf novels about the omegas and the alphas. I try not to judge the covers: two hairless, buff chests nipple-to-nipple- pushed together in embrace; behind these barely-legal Caucasian chests are the boys’ wolf versions. Of course, they’re werewolves. That or cowboys.

I adore these shitty books. And I adore leaving them negative reviews on Goodreads. My second-favorite part of discovering these books, besides reading them, is seeing what straight women readers have to say about them.

“OMYGOD!!!!” The cishet preteen girl types. “AUDHUDSXHOJGSS THERE SO KYYUUTTEEE!!!!”

“I really love the relationship these two have,” Says the middle-aged cishet mother of two. “So carnal.”

And a review from, you guessed it, another cishet lady. “This was a super good book and I loved it! Give me more!”

Obviously, nothing wrong with being cishet. Nothing wrong with writing or enjoying these books. But Jesus Christ I swear all cishet people think gay guys do is fuck.

Some real examples from books I’ve read:

Boyfriend A gets into fight with his mother because his mother (also a werewolf) is homophobic. Aw. That’s super sad. He runs off to the bedroom to cry. Boyfriend B goes to console Boyfriend A… by fucking him. Sir? Boyfriend A’s Mom is, like, in the living room right now.

They’re werewolves destined for female mates. Aw, poor babies. They meet at a big werewolf event and, two seconds later, go to the bathroom to bang in a stall. Welp. Very cool.

Guy A is freshly 18 (anyone else hear those alarm bells?) and meets Guy B, who is in his 40s (the alarm bells have turned into tornado sirens). They have a drink. Guy A is drunk. Guy B is not. (the tornado sirens are even louder tornado sirens now). Guy B takes Guy A back to his place. They have sex.

This fetizisation isn’t a problem solely in books. Comics, manga, TV, and video games are plagued with it, too.

While I’m technically non-binary, I get that I look like a chick. And I am AFAB. So let me speak on the lesbian issue.

It’s not nearly as entertaining for me. It hits closer to home. I mean, you think porn is bad for straight women? It’s worse for sapphics. No, really, how many goddamn times am I gonna have to see “Lesbian Seduces Her Straight Friend” or “Lesbian Girlfriends Invite Neighbor Over”. That’s vulgar, I know, but while the bad gay guy books may be entertainment for me, as I chortle at how wrong everything is, gay guys don’t get those laughs out of it.

[floralseokjin]

Will be waiting for a wolf seokjin fic after 9mtfil finishes 😋😋😋😋😋

Never thought I would cry over a man's fluffy hair and arms (I don't even cry over my husband's hair or arms for crying out loudddd!) but seokjin got me here and I am down for it.

Now you put the idea of wolfie jin in my head Jordan and its gotten hard to even look at his pictures without Aroooooing 😤

At least I have plenty of time to think of a plot 😂 and that’s the power of Seokjin! He makes the most normal and natural things hot as hell 🥵 no man is at his level (sorry to your husband I’m sure he’s lovely lmao)

Aroooooing made me snort!! but honestly same, up until a couple of weeks ago wolves/werewolves weren’t my thing but I’m looking at things in a new light now (and also can’t see the word ‘knot’ innocently ever again 😳)

[into-control]

We were driving in the car last night & my dog was staring at the supermoon super intensely, so I was like "What is it boy? Are you a werewolf or something?" & he went "AROOOOOOO AWGHHHGGHHGHH AROOOOO!" & I was like "WTF?! You *are* a werewolf?!" & he went "AWOOOOOO!" He made sounds like that the whole way home while I was asking him questions about the moon & werewolves, my pup is a crazy little werewolf boy y'all 😭

he sounds adorable

[dogwithglasses]

You are great omg I love your blog so much! Werewolves are amazing youre amazing 💙🐺 -@hircineschild

Thank you!! Arooooo!!!