#WHY IS BEING GENDER QUEER OR FLUID SO ANNOYING WHEN YOU LIVE WITH FAMILY

[novafoxxo76]

i would love to wear a skirt, but alas i doubt anyone around me would like to see me in a skirt exposing my hairy legs, yet now that i think of it, shorts are fine? Why can't I wear a skirt, no dabloons :c me treasure chest be empty. A pirate like me has no time to shave me legs, especially not me peg, she be covered in barnacles.

i was possessed by a pirate and um well im leaving it in but yeah

point is that um.... i want a skirt but im poor and ugly

[pinene]

respectfully, and i am saying this as someone who agrees with you, but you should check yourself a bit as you’re a gay man in LA. your experiences with being queer and how being queer effects you and those around you is inherently out of touch with most other queer peoples’ experiences. you are in gay mecca.

i as a gay man don’t have gripes with “sexuality is fluid” because i think it’s incorrect or invalidating or fail to see how other people can find the notion affirming, i have gripes with it being pushed as the larger queer narrative with no addendums or afterthought on anyone’s part - just a flat “sexuality is fluid” - because straight people where i live regularly throw it in my face as a pseudo-progressive way of saying “see? it IS a choice and you CAN change.” the messaging matters and it has nothing to do with me personally staking my identity on being just a giant gay my whole life; it matters because it’s a drastic change after the “born this way” narrative that defined our politics and the world is going to hold us to it in any way and no one wants to discuss how it effects us. i recognize that it isn’t on the queer community to make sure straight people aren’t shitty, but that doesn’t mean i can’t be annoyed when they’re given new ammo by people who won’t have to deal with being shot at, especially when it’s my queer “family”, who are sometimes actively hostile if they think you disagree because they assume it’s for the wrong reasons. you saw one gay man say he wants nothing to do with that frame of mind FOR HIMSELF and then made a post about how bad and shitty it is of him before immediately backtracking into saying its okay for gay men to feel that way individually; if us feeling this way isn’t actually bad, then why did you even feel the need to bring it up?

Sigh. A handful of people got what I was saying, but everyone else isn't, which is why I turned reblogs on that post off.

It's a complex situation. I think that the "born this way" rhetoric, or banking the validity of your identity on its immutability, is reductive. However, those are both very powerful tools in the face of violent homophobia. It can so easily be both. Recognizing the pitfalls of erecting rigid definitions of identity doesn't mean that I don't understand why they were there in the first place 😭

The only point I was ever trying to make was that sexuality is complicated (to repeat myself again-- I literally said NOTHING about the fluidity of sexuality, nor do I even believe everyone's to be fluid?? I guess that was just too much of a charged term to use as an example lol), and believing that the way out is TRULY to lock down specific identities with words is just going to bite us in the ass, as a community made up of people who like to defy expectations. It's kinda like how I think the legal benefits of marriage are bullshit and nobody can be free until we get rid of them, but I'm not gonna argue against gay marriage in public?

And I never back-tracked about anything, bud. I genuinely have pride in being a gay man and obviously believe that's valuable. I just do not find that to be antithetical to the knowledge that sexuality and gender ARE constructs, which is what that initial post implied. Have a good one <3