#Where he destroy mond is hot

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

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Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

[disaster-j]

do we know if mond is queued up to be in anything after this? like yes they desTROYED his character and arc and his scenes in the second half were literally unwatchable but i think that had nothing to do with him at all. i think after first’s performance as yok and gun’s performance as black, his is definitely my fav. (despite it crashing and burning and turning to ash) he played gram in love so well and his interactions with white were spot on to what was supposed to be gramblack + (the very little) interactions with the gang felt so heartfelt and passionate. i really hope we see more of him in good roles that he can actually get the most out of (i also find him. insanely stupidly hot. but that’s absolutely beside the point)

You're absolutely right the demise of show Gram had nothing to do with Mond's portrayal of him. He was really good at getting the character down- passionate, warm, a little confused, easily spooked. The issue was never really with Gram himself but the shitty things they made him do to Eugene which they then romanticised as him saving her from all the hurt Black apparently caused 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Mond is great but I've sadly only seen him in 2 shows so far, fab30 where his character was basically a cardboard cutout for the shitty MC to project her early midlife crisis on and in Water Boyy which was super toxic and I had to DNF bc they made a canon lesbian fall in love with a guy. I'm sure a lot of people excuse it as bi realisation story but coming from a bi woman all I saw was a very clearly lesbian character suddenly being in love with a guy for no legitimate reason. Mond's character in water boyy is not too bad but it's still not a show I recommend to anyone. I've heard great things about him in Boy For Rent tho so even tho I haven't watched that I think if you wanna see more of Mond that would be a good place to start. There's also The Judgement but that show is supposed to be hella dark and triggering so do your research on that before checking it out. He's had a couple other roles but I don't know enough about them so you'll have better luck perusing MDL.

As for his upcoming shows, he's got two in the gmmtv 2022 line-up. There's Midnight Series: Midnight Motel in which he plays the villain to Off and Jan's spunky protagonists which I talk about in detail in my post here. Then there's P.S. I Love You which is more of a traditional lakorn style drama about a group of friends tangled up in keeping dangerous secrets, he plays a cop who seems to be a bit too involved with one of his suspects. You can find my post about that one here.

(He is really attractive isn't he 👀 his girlfriend's a lucky one 😌😌)

[ryansjane]

sorry you are having a rough day. here’s something i’m curious about: what kinds of roles do you most want to see off and mon act in the future? and what do you think is in store for their careers in general? your latest youtube video got me thinking about off as a hot boss lmao

oooh, that’s a super interesting question, thanks for the ask!

for off, I have literally so many roles I wanna see him in. firstly I would love to see him as a real main character, bc in a way even when he’s a main character he isn’t really? in tol bc third was the narrator for the first half of the show it felt like he was the main character, in girl next room duchess was the main character & we didn’t get to see much of krathing’s pov... and it’s like that for all of his roles, even his upcoming one in not me. so I’d want him, no matter what the story is, to be the ‘real’ main character. apart from that, specific roles I wanna see him in:

a shy role. I think it’s por in wolf who really convinced me that off could play a shy soft boi bc he had so many adorable expressions that would suit a shy character so well. I need it to happen. shy & awkward please

I know off’s dream is to act in a play which is so attractive to me as I’m a huge theater-goer, so I hope he gets a role in a play one day & can fulfill his dream <3

I want him to act in GDH movie so he can get more known in thailand, as apparently gmmtv actors aren’t that big for the general public in thailand. the movie could be anything but I’d love to see him in a really well-directed romance with one of thailand’s biggest actresses :)

a bl role with someone who’s bigger or/& taller than him (*cough* joss wayar *cough*) bc ever since I saw those pics of new carrying off with off’s legs around him I have never been the same lmao

a super dramatic family drama, kinda lakorn-style but not a lakorn, where he’s the main character & has a lot of self-reflecting / crying scenes to show off his acting talents

and of course I want a goddamn offtay show lmao. no one might believe in it, even themselves, but I know for a fact they could be the best pairing ever. I said what I said

as for mond, I mostly just want him to get goddamn main roles in gmmtv shows lmao, I’m so annoyed bc boy for rent was SO successful and everyone was in love with him but right after they gave him no gmmtv show in 2020... as for specific roles:

a bl main role, for a few reasons. first of all mond was amazing in his previous bl roles in the judgement & water boyy and he has chemistry with legitimately everyone. also I just want him to get more known & I know bl is the best way for him to achieve that

I want him to get a leading role in a straight romance again bc he slayed boy for rent so he would be excellent as always

frankly I’m kinda tired of shows not giving him interesting personalities most of the time. I want him to play an over-the-top disaster in the vein of khai from tol & many other messy characters who had iconic personalities

I know it might seem redundant, but shy mond. he has an amazing smile to go with a shy character lmao. also I just find the dichotomy of him being the literal most beautiful man on earth playing a shy & not confident character very cute

a villain. okay but mond as a charismatic ass villain who will do anything to destroy the lead’s lives? kinda hot ngl, and I do have a thing for meanies lmao

xxx

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Sunday 10 August 1834

9 10

1 50

Quiet night. Very fine morning F70 ½° at 10 20– breakfast at 10 ½ - had our laquais de place to fix what to do, and writing notes of things to be seen – from 12 ¼ in ½ hour read prayers to A- and George - Out at 1 30 (A- and I took George) at the Eglise d’Ainay in 5 minutes – very interesting on the site of an old temple of Diana – in the aisles old Roman pilasters of the original portico still remaining and some of the old mosaic about the high altar – the 2 granite columns that stood at the ancient entrance (time of Augustus) but since cut into 4 and standing at the entrance and the chancel and near the high altar going along the [cours] du midi into the Allée de Perrache and at 2 pay 8 ½ sols toll and pass the new pont de Mulatière – an iron rail-road (right side) for coal-waggons from St Etienne – the bridge is over the Soane [Saône] just before its junction with the Rhone - pass thro’ the village of Oulins, and along the little valley of ditto with its vine-clad hills to the ruin of the Roman aqueduct - not seen till within a short distance of it - 16 entire arches standing, in 2 pieces or lengths - a wide gap in middle where several arches are wanting and where one crosses the Bionnat rivulet over a little wooden bridge - the few scattered houses here are called Bionnat - at the aqueduct at 3 15 – A- sat down on a log of wood and ate her cold poulet in ½ hour – the aqueduct must have been very handsome – perhaps from 250 to 300 yards long here above ground and above or below extended 14 liaue from Les bains des Romains on the mountagne of Fourvière to St Etienne remains of it discovered here and there all long its line of route - it must have been much boarder than the present remain –

SH:7/ML/E/17/0072

to judge from the appearances of 1 or 2 places - they say, it must have been 200ft. higher than at present - (perhaps 2 tiers above the present arches, 3 stories high, as at the pont du gard) - falling rapidly into decay - one arch fell down 6 years ago, and our laquais de place (about 60?) says he has walked with ladies on the top of the whole length of it, so that the line of arches must have been unbroken 30 or 40 years ago - 11 courses of 2 bricks thick each divide the caissons and a 12th course forms the key of the arch - the walls from which the arches spring are all pierced with another arch upon the top of which lies the 7th brick course - these latter arches are several of them open particularly towards the ends of this part of the aqueduct that is above ground - the inside of the arches is faced with diamond shaped stones (about 6in. from angel to angel) compact limestone probably originally polished - in some of the arches all white - in others alternately white and dark coloured, and must have looked very handsome - the water that falls on the top, sinks down into and decays the brick course in the crown of the arch, and thus the arch is in destroyed - this is evidently the source of the decay - were there a channel on the top, or paved glacis to take of the water, the present remains might continue as they are for centuries - walked over the part of the aqueduct nearest Lyons which is as near as I could stride it, about 75 yards long or rather more? consisting of eight arcades - off from the aqueduct at 4 ¾ - pass at no great distance under the village and the mere shell of the old castle of Francheville (left)  - At 5 5 at the fort or citadel they are now busy building on the top of the mountain of Fourvière, near to the present telegraph, and the remains of the old wall and Roman fortification – consisting of 2 or 3 arches and a tall, small, round tower in apparently good preservation (and now inhabited?) - at 5 10 went into the neat new church of St Irénée built upon the old church – did not see the latter because now encombré with rubbish said our laquais de place – soon afterwards pass the new good looking convent cloitré of St Michel – for women – once in, never out again – only spoke to parents thro’ a gate - a place, our laquais de place, where he knew 3 young girls who had learnt nothing but libertinism - at 5 25 at the Roman baths - the house where they are, unoccupied at this moment - shut up - could not get in - At 5 40 at M Perrèrs new square tower – called le point du vue by our laquais de place - but properly called I suppose, la Tour de Fourvière – 200 steps high but easy steps of 6 in.– the bottom of the tower 500ft above the level of the Soane [Saône] – very fine panoramic view of the city and environs – the wind in the north so too thick for a view of the Savoy mountains – had the wind been in the south it would have been clear and we should have seen Mt Blanc – the Savoy and Swiss and Dauphiny alps very plainly and beautifully – from the tower down immediately upon the very fine old gothic cathedral – very fine painted glass windows round the apsis [apses] - and the other windows of stained glass very neat - our laquais pointed out the damage done during the six jours (from 6 April last) - just went into the votive church of Notre dame (a black lady) de Fourvière - full of people and ex voto prints and pictures and ex votos in the shape of all the members of the human body that she has healed - the insurgents rung the tocsin from this steeple and had a cannon on the platform of the tower (point du vue) - the military had 2 cannon under one windows (hotel de l’Europe) and fired 3 balls into the steeple, and struck the tower 3 or 4 times - several houses almost knocked down in the principal parts where the fighting was - 100 (1/2 military) killed - the insurgents fired with poisoned shot and ball (dipped in solution of copper) so that the least scratch of a wound was mortal -  home at 7 ½ - dinner at 7 40 – had Eugenie and wrote the whole of today till 11 35 and A- wrote 2 ½ pages to my aunt – till 12 50 wrote the latter ½ page 3 and the ends and under the seal very small and close to my aunt – said we should shop tomorrow at St Etienne and hoped to be at Clermont in Auvergne for 2 or 3 days and at Paris on the 19th or 20th – very hot so cannot travel very rapidly ‘ but we hope to be at home about the time mentioned in my last’  - will write if but a few lines both from London and Paris - very fine day F72° now at one tonight.

Maison d'Aquitaine a retraite, board and lodging found, for life, for these who on entering pay down 3000/. an asylum for insanes, and a prison for ‘femmes du monde’ who are found on examinations to be not from the disease - if committed to l’ Aquitaine a 2nd time, they are immediately sent under escort home to their village.

[yennefxr]

this is my first fic apéritif, a hannibal inspired dinner scene between yennefer and vilgefortz (+ mentions of ciri ) set at stygga castle  warnings: spoilers for book 8, mentions of canon violence, injury detail, food/alcohol, vilgefortz being himself 

a/n: it’s based on a meme i’m sorry, there’s some ciri/yen stuff at the end!! pls read i would love feedback

APÉRITIF -

It’s their ritual, unholy as it is cruel.

By day, she’s beaten, bound and bruised, for a confession sought through spilt blood and bone. Done unto her in vain, of course – he can loosen her teeth, but not her tongue.

When night falls, perfume is rubbed into her open wounds; she’s preened with glamour and dressed in swathes of black velvet by a servant boy unable to meet her eyes.

Finally, she is presented to the host, the piece de resistance of his gruesome banquet, taking the seat at the head of the table. Most nights, they’ll have company, his demi-monde of torturers; Rience, Bonhart, Schirru, but tonight they’ll dine alone.

He doesn’t look at her instantly; he studies his own reflection, the burnt mar of a once handsome face in the bronze of his wine goblet.

The servant returns, bolder sans captive, to fill the table with dishes so extravagant she can’t help but wonder who this opulence is truly intended for.

A suckling pig with dulcet honeyed skin, eyes replaced with overripe figs, foie-gras and doughy bread, oozing Zerrikanian fruits, ortolan bunting, still sizzling in tart armagnac and finally, two roasted hares, poised and erect as if slaughtered mid-fight, garnished with bloody vermillion blooms.

Only when the door shuts and they are left alone does her host look at her, one good eye, one dead crystal spinning grotesquely to and fro within it’s charred socket. She tastes acid in the back of her throat.

“I underestimated you, and for that, I hold myself in contempt.”

Vilgefortz’s voice was smooth and composed, as it always had been, and he regards her now with the same unwavering intensity, as he always had.

“With all my knowledge and intrusion I could never entirely predict you…”

“Oh spare me!” Yennefer sings her outburst, petulant and dramatic, a wild smile on her face.

“You think you can beguile me? As you did the Chapter? As you did the continent?”

She snorts at her host, (which under any other circumstances would be considered a serious faux-pas) tossing back her raven hair to laugh insolently.

Oh, he likes her like this. The lashes did nothing to quell her fire.

Vilgefortz responds with a lascivious smile, ignoring his captive when she blanches.

“The horsewoman of war, yes my dear, the goddess of righteous fury. Your presence on the battlefield strikes fear in the hearts of the most battle hardened of warriors.”

He pours two goblets of pomino bianco, wine she hadn’t indulged in since - she takes a moment to recall - Thanedd.

Bastard.

“And you”, she seethes  “played king off of king, chartered in war on the whim of whichever fool had the misfortune of your countenance. The fucking peacekeeper. Cheers.”

Vilgefortz laughs at that and extends her a goblet. What remains of her hands, grisly sinew and crushed bones, twitch with muscle memory but ultimately refuse the host’s invitation.

He smirks arrogantly, and steps forward.

There are few things in life more torturous than the rack, but as Vilgefortz’s cool hand strokes across her shoulder to trap her neck in a vice like grip, just shy of the dimeritium collar he had shackled her in upon her arrival at Stygga, Yennefer begins to reconsider. His fingers lace into her hair and guide her head down towards the full goblet he is pressing insistently to her lips.

Her jaw is broken and throbs dully, thanks to a well-delivered kick from Rience’s boot, but she manages to swallow, albeit sloppily, trying to keep her body rigid despite the white-hot fury that surges through her.

Yennefer hears him tut, and she imagines ripping the tongue from his throat.

The goblet disappears and in it’s stead, an ivory napkin materialises in his hand. He gently wipes her lips, with the patience of a mother cooing over their messy infant. Once he’s done coddling, his finger traipses the length of her jaw, and she feels the thrum of magic as he sets her bones anew.

“Spare yourself the martyrdom, Yennefer. Submit to me. Show me where the girl is and I will grant you whatever you desire.”

Vilgefortz’s hand ghosts through her hair to hold her chin. He drops to one knee as if in dark reverence of her. Inches from him, Yennefer can appreciate Ciri’s handiwork – he’s half formed, an abomination of ugly flesh. She’s hypnotised and repulsed by the sight, pink muscle tugging over yellowed bone, the white of his canines, the salacious wave of his tongue as he offers her the world.

“Respite, power, revenge…”

He takes her broken hands and brings them to his face – his eyes search hers blindly, for weakness, a flicker of passion, of selfish want.

And then, Yennefer feels.

That euphoric buzz of magic as he rebuilds her hands with the gentle tenderness of a lover. Each nerve reignites and sings under his warm breath. Her heart stops when he brings the flesh to his lips. He pauses:

“A child of your own flesh. A womb.”

The room falls silent. He waits and so does she, for chaos to consume her, for fire to reign down, for lightning to strike him dead but it doesn’t come. Just clarity. Cool, quiet and final.

Yennefer had been bartered before, and never again.

There was not a thing in the world Vilgefortz could offer her.

Not a kingdom more precious, nor power so devastating she could wreak havoc on all that had wronged her.

Nothing as important as her daughter. As her Ciri.

She remembers at once their laughter, the miscast spells and spilt ingredients over an old workbench as they poured over elven runes way into the night. How ghastly Ciri’s pronunciation had been! How with every passing day her daughter started to resemble her more and more, a pointed brow here, a haughty tone there, stood with her hands on her hips as she chastised the world just as her mother had taught her. How Yennefer yearned for those moments again.

Nothing in the world as precious.

Yennefer looks down at Vilgefortz, at the leering half of the man who would destroy the whole continent.

What a peculiar feeling, she thought as she smiled, to have found someone worth dying for.

“Go to hell, Vilgefortz.”

Then she spat in his face.

———

thank you for reading, this is the meme:

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 38 Review: Of Zombies and Men

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Damn, Jacques is hot in that scene! There. I just had to say that before starting this review.

Hello and welcome again to my Garden of Evil, which I have once again been neglecting. Long story short: the past month has been both terrifying (for what should be obvious reasons) and very, very busy, and I’ve been spending more of my free time offline than usual focusing on things like starting vegetables for my real-life garden. I don’t foresee things getting better for at least another month, so most likely either I won’t be very active or my muse will be more active than ever. If the latter, it may mean more reviews or it may mean more silliness like the Desmond Hall personality quiz from earlier this week. We shall see.

But, for right now, shall we jump into our exploration of Episode 38?

Wait! Quito didn’t leave the chandelier hanging on the table before!

The table (post-séance) from Episode 36, for comparison.

Another night has passed on Maljardin (as indicated by Jean Paul Desmond's change in clothing) and now someone has hung the chandelier on the side of the broken séance table where it wasn't in either of the previous two episodes. "Keeping this here as a souvenir, Jean Paul?" the Reverend Matthew Dawson, who is still wearing the same outfit as two episodes ago, asks.

"No, Reverend," Jean Paul corrects him, but forgets to tell him who put the chandelier back on the table and why. Instead, he tells him that there will be another séance.

Matt accuses him of playing with their lives and he responds with what sounds like a veiled threat: "Come now, Reverend, this is no game. Surely, superstitions and fears are not going to blacken your learned convictions. All of our days are numbered." Yes, Jean Paul's in pissy passive-aggressive mode and he will remain there for most of the next three weeks. This is one of the reasons why I prefer Jacques Eloi des Mondes. He may be THE DEVIL and he certainly has his own nasty, passive-aggressive side, but he doesn't go around glowering like his descendant and he takes himself less seriously. His death threats are also way funnier than Jean Paul’s. On top of that, he has that stunning cape that he once wore to the main island, which I miss horribly. I can’t see Jean Paul moping around on Maljardin while wearing that gorgeous number, which is a pity because it looked so good on him.

Just noticed while re-watching the episode that Matt has a pompadour now. I'm going to go ahead and guess the reason based on evidence from Episode 7: he's trying to level with the groovy swingers and keep up with what's happenin', but he's too square to realize the hairstyle he's adopted in his efforts to be happenin' is ten years out of date. (I’m sure I used at least two of these outdated slang terms incorrectly. Forgive me.)

Jean Paul lying to cover up Jacques’ attempted murder. Also, a pretty shot of Fox-C’s eyes!

To no viewers’ surprise, Jean Paul is planning on holding another séance, and another, and another, until he finally establishes contact with his late wife Erica. This angers Matt, who has been a loose cannon since Episode 35 and is due to fire again soon. “You forget the medium said death points only to me!” the lovesick, grieving billionaire shouts and storms away before Matt gets another chance to air his grievances against him.

We next see him in the crypt, telling Quito to have the table and the chandelier repaired ASAP. And then he gets a moment alone with Erica’s cryonics capsule and he says this interesting, cryptic aside:

Is he only saying that because of Jacques’ frequent possessions, or does he have another reason to mistrust himself? Lines like this one make me think that maybe Dan’s suspicions are correct and he did murder Erica.

Matt grows bored waiting for Jean Paul to return, so he visits Alison in the lab. Wearing a stylish blue labcoat, she is reading through Dr. Menkin’s notes on her sister Erica and confides in Matt about her despair that she has found so few of them.

Alison and Matt in the lab.

Their conversation in this scene is quite interesting. First, she reveals that Dr. Menkin has been researching cellular reconstruction and that, using his notes (especially the missing parts), it might actually be possible to bring Erica back to life. This means that there’s a chance that it was reasonable from an in-universe scientific standpoint--if still somewhat ethically questionable--for Jean Paul to freeze Erica.

Second, she denies Matt’s accusation that Jean Paul is treating them like chattel, replying, "What you forget is his love for Erica, his need for her is what drives him, not purposeful harm to others." Has she developed Stockholm Syndrome towards Jacques/Jean Paul during her time on the island? This line makes me wonder.

Their conversation drifts to Vangie’s accident, which reminds Alison to check on her! They find Vangie in the Great Hall, walking down the stairs in her Conjure Woman robes, her arms stretched out before her in standard zombie fashion. Because she isn’t watching where she’s going and is just staring blankly, Alison guides her down the stairs and onto the couch to prevent any further injuries. At the end of the scene, Quito comes to check on her and lets out a silent scream before covering his face: most likely as a subtle cue to new audience members that the silent servant in the earlier scene in the crypt is, like Vangie, a zombie.

Alison guiding Vangie to the couch.

But can we really compare Vangie’s state to Quito’s? In book canon, Quito was one of Jacques’ slaves, whom he killed and then had resurrected to punish Raxl for disobedience. The show canon never states how Quito became a zombie, but we do know that he is undead based on his lack of a pulse in Episode 33 and Jean Paul’s reference to “a soulless corpse” in Episode 16. Vangie, in contrast, is still alive, but behaves like a zombie (allegedly) because of a brain injury caused by the crashing chandelier. Oddly enough, her body language and behavior are more in line with a stereotypical Hollywood zombie than Quito, which makes me wonder how the hell she was able to put her Conjure Woman robes back on while in a cataleptic trance. (I bet it’s just another continuity error, like the chandelier hanging off the side of the table.)

There’s a brief scene here where Matt opens one of the cabinet drawers in the lab and pulls out one of Alison’s scalpels. I don’t understand why she doesn’t keep that drawer locked on such a dangerous island.

In his and Raxl’s bedroom, Quito mixes Vangie a potion using herbs from the island to attempt to bring her out of her catatonic state. He tastes the potion and nods as though to say, "Yes, it tastes right.” Even so, it doesn't appear to have any effect on him after he tastes it, which is strange. I don’t know how to interpret this scene. It could mean anything from “the antidote only works on living people” to “the antidote only works on people who were turned into zombies the way Vangie was (and Quito was not)” to “Quito drank this same potion years ago, and that’s why he can move around, think, and feel and isn’t stuck in a catatonic state like Vangie.”

The ambiguity makes this yet another unexplained plot point in a show overflowing with them, thanks to the change in writers and producer. I want to give Robert Costello and the team of writers who wrapped up Maljardin the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps they ignored this plot hole because Ian Martin’s notes were partially missing like Dr. Menkin’s, but most of the evidence suggests that they consciously chose to go in a different direction than the one that Martin originally intended. We know that, from Episode 30 onward, executive meddling forced him to change and rearrange events in his episodes. There is that one line from Episode 54 that reminds me of what I believe were his original intended revelations about Erica, but I suspect that I’m over-analyzing a line for which Cornelius Crane probably intended a different, less unusual interpretation than mine.

Anyway, while Quito is downstairs, Jean Paul and Jacques have this amusing exchange:

Jean Paul: "You were the disrupting influence at that séance." Jacques: "I? Do I resemble a part of the chandelier that came crashing down?"

I think you can guess where this leads. Jacques possesses him, and this time the resulting scene is the most deliciously evil one we’ve seen yet of his character:

Just after possession, zombie Vangie identifies Jacques as Lucifer, and he confirms this. Since the first episode, we have heard Raxl say repeatedly that Jacques Eloi des Mondes was THE DEVIL, but at last we have confirmation that Ian Martin’s Jacques is, even after the beginning of executive meddling.

“Devil he is. Devil he will remain till I can exorcise and destroy him,” she adds, still in a trance and still with her eyes fixed forward.

“But aren’t you finding him too powerful for all of us?” Jacques replies.

“In the end, it is we who will be too strong for him.”

“But you are already losing all the battles.” Jacques smirks and leans closer to Vangie, as my heart--and the hearts of half the original audience--skips a beat. “Look at you now, Vangie. Look at you now, able to talk only with me because, like Quito, you are living in his...half-world.” (Does this mean that Quito can speak to him, too, when they are alone and Jacques allows it?) “Who put you there?”

“Fear not. He cannot kill me. My death is ordained.”

“He hasn’t killed you,” Jacques grins. “Who knows? Maybe in your present state, you will be able to reach Erica.”

“I didn’t want to reach her for myself, but for you, Jean Paul.” (Why does she identify him as Jean Paul now, when she called him Lucifer a minute ago? Jacques hasn’t de-possessed Jean Paul yet.)

Quietly, Alison and Matt enter undetected, as she continues. “The demon Jacques Eloi des Mondes, his evil was at the table. It was his alien presence that destroyed the séance.”

She lies back down on the couch, Jacques yells her name and grabs her, and Alison breaks her silence. “Jean Paul!” she shouts, rushing over to Vangie. “Leave her be!” Jacques demands that she bring her out of the trance, but Alison says that she doesn’t know how. He shoots down her suggestion that she take her to the mainland for treatment.

“It’s mystifying to hear her talk as though you were that man, an ancestor three hundred years dead,” Matt comments, pointing to Jacques’ portrait.

“The islanders are very superstitious with strange fancies,” Jacques gaslights him. “You’re not joining that group, are you, Reverend?”

“I may join them, too,” says Alison.

“Perhaps you all need therapy, or some other kind of treatment,” Jacques says as the camera zooms into his face. He starts off with a fairly neutral Jean Paul expression--he’s been getting better at imitating his descendant--but then widens his eyes in that way only Jacques does. It's not quite Bissits Face™, but it is a very Jacques expression nonetheless.

After the commercial break, Matt asks for some clarification as to what he meant by treatment. “Relief of tension, as at a séance,” he responds with a smile.

Another argument about séances is about to erupt when Quito walks up holding a cup of his herbal remedy. Jacques identifies this as “a pinch of hope, a dash of witchcraft, a hint of prayer, as harmless as Quito himself is.” Surprisingly, despite knowing that this will take Vangie out of her trance, he lets Alison serve it to her.

When Vangie recovers, she, too, insists--also surprisingly--that they have another séance. “It’s Jean Paul Desmond himself who risks all,” she tells Matt when he accuses her of endangering the guests’ lives. Alison has Matt take her upstairs to rest while she heads to the lab to grab a tranquilizer.

Meanwhile, in the lab...

A secret door behind the cabinet opens and Jacques comes out, carrying more of Dr. Menkin’s notes. When he hears Alison’s footsteps, he shuts the door (but not all the way--oops!) and leaves them on the table. After a brief conversation about Vangie, he leaves through the lab’s main entrance and Alison flips excitedly through the newly discovered notes.

My favorite shot of Alison from this scene.

The Lost Episode summary for this episode from The Newport Daily News mentions the secret door--indicating that it appeared in the original script for the episode--but also that Vangie knows about it and that Jacques will leave her alone during the second séance if she keeps it secret. Another version of the summary from the Minneapolis Star (November 5, 1969) says that the hidden door leads to “a secret passageway,” begging the question of where Jacques has hidden the notes. It must be somewhere between the Great Hall and the lab, but where?

You know, I’m surprised that, for all Raxl and Quito’s searching for the conjure doll and the silver pin and Alison, Dan, and Matt’s searching for the missing cyanide, they haven’t found more of the château’s secret rooms and passages. It’s just as inexplicable as how Jacques still doesn’t know the location of the Temple of the Serpent after three hundred years, hours of spying on people in the crypt, and that failed investigation of it with Holly last episode--and the Temple’s entrance isn’t even well-hidden! On a show set on an absurdly cold tropical island with anachronistic period costumes, 20-year-olds who look 30 but get turned away from the bar without being carded, white Incas, a white voodoo priest and priestesses, and a man with an IQ of 187 knowingly placing a glass table beneath a loose chandelier--and that’s only listing what we’ve seen so far--this stretches my willing suspension of disbelief more than anything else.

Right at the end of the episode, we learn from Jacques that Jean Paul’s will to resist him has become stronger, making possession of him more difficult:

Does Jean Paul’s stronger will explain all the headache faces?

Coming up next: A piece of the Conjure Man’s message reminds Raxl of Jacques’ pirate ship, which gives us the perfect opportunity to explore Jacques’ former career.

{<- Previous: Episode 37   ||   Next: Episode 39 ->}

[tracingdreams]

Daiya no Ace: The Dramas #1 Naked Shiritori and the Patent Cold Cure

An explanation... To keep my brain from rusting I started a project to translate the drama tracks that came with the character song CDs and other stuff relating to Daiya no Ace (because I love them and they’re all hilarious). My disclaimer - I am not a native speaker of Japanese, but I will do my best!

Sawamura Eijun, Drama 01 - Featuring Miyuki, Furuya and Sawamura

Scene: The boys are playing shiritori (the word game where the next player begins a word based on the end character of the previous word) on a baseball theme. This sounds pretty boring except they’re doing it at the bathhouse. And also, they’re naked. So yeah.)

Translator’s note – this game involves baseball vocab, which is not my strength, and even more so, in Japanese, which means a lot of word explaining. I’ll do my best to make it make sense.

Furuya: I…I…I…Infield Fly (NB this word in Japanese ends with the katakana character for ‘I’)

Miyuki: Not I again? Eh…uh…Ah! Irregular bound! (Bad bounce of the ball - NB this word in Japanese ends with the Japanese character for ‘do’).

Sawamura: Do?! Ehh….uh…do…do…Having the nerve to show up at the last minute! (first word is dotonba…)

Miyuki: That’s not baseball vocabulary!

Sawamura: Eh…do…do…do…An unexpected twist at the end! (dondengaeshi – usually a plot twist)

Miyuki: That one’s a bit dubious as well. Don’t you have anything else?

Sawamura: Well…But!!!

Miyuki: Ah well, whatever. Furuya! Shi.

Furuya: Shikyuu

Sawamura: Hey! You said that already!

Furuya: No. The last one was the shikyuu for a walk after four balls (四球, literally four balls). This is the shikyuu for a hit by pitch (死球, literally ‘dead ball’).

Sawamura: Is that even allowed? (indignant).

Miyuki: It’s fine, isn’t it? So mine is ‘u’, huh. Eeh…uh… Waste ball! (a wasted pitch, in Japanese spelt uesuto booru)

Sawamura: What’s that?

Miyuki: Huh? You…seriously, you play baseball and you don’t know what a waste ball…ah, but there’s no point getting annoyed with you. You’re an IDIOT, after all.

Sawamura: (angry) Grr! It’s fine, isn’t it? Just tell me already!

Miyuki: Furuya?

Furuya: A waste ball is when, in order to prevent something like a squeeze play, hit and run, or a base steal, the pitcher throws the ball some distance away from the batter.

Sawamura: Huh? That’s a waste ball? And wait, how come you know that?

Furuya: Because it’s common knowledge?

Sawamura: …Even if I don’t know the terms, I can still play baseball!

Miyuki: Well, it’s not like I expect you to remember any of the terminology. Because you’re an IDIOT.

Sawamura: GRRR!

Miyuki: Come on, Sawamura. Ru!

Sawamura: Ru?! Is there even a ru? Eeehh…uhhh….

Miyuki: With all that being said, I hope the bath opens up quickly. Waiting here (un)dressed like this is…(he sneezes). Ah crap, I’m seriously going to get a cold.

Furuya: The bath is usually open at this time.

Sawamura: Well, like I said, sometimes they forget to put the hot water on. Ehh…ru…ru…

Miyuki: Even if that’s true, it’s the worst thing ever to realise that AFTER you’ve already undressed. It’s not like I feel like putting my dirty uniform back on, but waiting naked here till the bath is open, playing shiritori, is a bit…(he sneezes again). If I get a cold, Sawamura, it will be ALL YOUR fault!

Sawamura: Eeeh?! Why is it my fault?

Miyuki: Because you kept saying, “I want you to come do night-time practice with me!”, of course!

Sawamura: Well…that’s…

Miyuki: On top of which you riled up Furuya’s rivalry and got him involved too, and the pair of you threw more than a hundred balls between you…(he sneezes) Ah, crap, I’m starting to come out in a cold sweat.

Sawamura: I have a ‘ru’! Ruikan! (the distance between bases!) 27.431 metres! (the measurement ends in ‘ru’)

Miyuki: Why do you not know ‘waste ball’, but you know that?!

Sawamura: Because that’s the only ru there is in baseball!

Furuya: It’s my turn next, isn’t it? Erm….Rule. (ruuru)

Sawamura: (stiffens)

Miyuki: That works, doesn’t it? (he’s still about to sneeze again)

Furuya: Baseball vocabulary shiritori is kind of fun.

Miyuki sneezes again.

(the scene ends. We assume they got their bath, but…scene changes to next day. Sawamura appears to be cooking something. If you likened him to a witch creating a brew, you wouldn’t probably be far wrong…)

Sawamura (voice as narration): And so, the next day!

Sawamura is cutting something in the kitchens, and Furuya comes to find out what he’s doing.

Furuya: What are you doing, borrowing the dorm kitchens like this?

Sawamura: (Still chopping), huh? Ah. Well, you see, this is…for the sake of the quick recovery of a senpai I deeply respect, you see, I’m making a cold remedy.

Furuya: Ahh. Miyuki-senpai’s stuck in bed, isn’t he.

Sawamura: To have the regular catcher bedridden like this is going to affect the mentality of the whole team. It’s just lucky that right now we have no games scheduled, seriously.

Furuya: That’s true, but, what IS that?

Sawamura: Huh? Ah, this is orange peel.

Furuya: But it’s jet black?

Sawamura: I heated it up and burned it. Apparently it works better that way.

Furuya: Eeh. Looking at it, it looks like it would taste pretty bad, don’t you think?

Sawamura: A good medicine is bitter to the taste! What it looks like isn’t anything to do with the taste!

Furuya: (sounding persuaded), Ah, I see.

Sawamura: And if you put it all in the mixer, like this…

Enter Miyuki. Who talks for the whole rest of this drama with a cold, making translating his dialogue SO much fun. Not. I decided not to try and add coldishness to the translation spellings, but imagine that he’s full of cold, ok?)

Miyuki: (Angry and full of cold, coughing): Oi! Sawamura!

Furuya: Oh

Sawamura: (Shocked) Miyuki-senpai? It’s no good for a sick person to be up and about like this!

Miyuki: How do you expect me to sleep? I heard from Kawakami that you’re cooking up some strange potion to make me drink…(dissolves into coughing).

Sawamura: (indignant): What do you mean, some strange potion? I’m doing this for the sake of getting you better, Miyuki-senpai, as soon as possible!

Miyuki: (clearly suspicious): What…is that?

Sawamura: (proud) This is orange peel, which I cooked and charred…

Miyuki: (annoyed): surely it’d be fine to just eat it normally?!

Sawamura: (insistant) It works better if it’s cooked!

Miyuki: And this?

Sawamura: Umeboshi in tea. Also ginger and garlic, which when you cut into small pieces and add to the mixer…(there is the ominous sound of the blender in the background). Then, on top of that, you add an egg…(again, the blender sound)…

Furuya: Ah…it looks pretty horrifying right now.

Sawamura: (Still really pleased with himself) And then, at this point, we add some natural herbs in the form of Japanese honeysuckle! (Blender sound again).

Furuya: They seem like just some random weeds though…

Sawamura: And we add some essence of dandelion seeds! (blender sounds)

Furuya: Genuinely just weeds, aren’t they?

Sawamura: And finally! If you add in all the remaining scraps…(blender sound again) and there it is! Finished!

Miyuki: Hah. Sa…Sawamura?

Sawamura: Yes sir!? What could it possibly be, senpai?! (he is actually formal here!)

Miyuki: Are you…really going to make me drink that?

Sawamura: (indignant) Of course I am!

Miyuki: (clearly doubtful): It’s all right…isn’t it?

Sawamura: What is?! (still indignant).

Miyuki: Well…I’m a bit worried that…before it cures my cold, it might destroy my stomach and I’ll die first…

Sawamura: What kind of weak whining is that, talking about dying when you just have a cold?! Is your illness really your spirit? Weak will is the greatest enemy! (he is shouting. Of course he is).

Miyuki: (sniffling): That’s not what I meant!

Sawamura: It only has things in it that are good for colds, so there’s no chance it won’t work!

Miyuki: Yeah, but, where exactly did you learn this from?

Sawamura: Eh?

Miyuki: For example, is it some cold cure recipe passed down through your family or something?

Sawamura: Uh…well…yes! Yes, that’s what it is! It’s a legendary cure passed down through the family to guarantee a swift cure to any cold! (he’s getting dramatic now, and also, lying). Now, drink it!

Miyuki: (very reluctant): Eh…but…

Sawamura: Come on! Open your mouth! AAAAAAAAH!

Miyuki: (Clearly recoiling): Eeh, that’s some stench! I think I’ll pass…

Sawamura: I won’t take no for an answer! (he actually says, mondō muyō – basically, it’s pointless to object).

Miyuki: (now a little scared): Eh, no way. I don’t want to drink it!

Sawamura: (clearly trying to use force here now): Miyuki-senpai, please stop resisting. Furuya! Hold him down!

Furuya: Huh?

Sawamura: If his cold doesn’t heal up, he won’t be able to catch your pitches either, will he?

Furuya: That’s true. Senpai, I’m very sorry. (he clearly grabs Miyuki, a struggle ensues).

Miyuki: Furuya! Not you too?!

Sawamura: (sounding a bit evil genius now): Now, stay still and drink it, please.

Miyuki: (Freaking out): No…I don’t want to…ah…(more struggle sounds).

Sawamura: Stay still!

(there are some more struggle sounds, some scared Miyuki trying to get away sounds, and then, finally, the sound of someone drinking the potion. It is, of course, Miyuki).

Miyuki: Bleeeeeeeuuurgh (it clearly tasted vile).

Sawamura: (self-satisfied): How was it, then? You feel like you’ll heal up right away, don’t you?

Miyuki: (in creepy, angry, cold-edged voice): If this doesn’t cure me, you’re seriously going to get it.

Furuya: (noticing something): Ah, this book…

Sawamura: (now a bit anxious): Ah, Furuya!

Furuya: (reading) Folk cures for colds from across Japan?

Miyuki: (annoyed) You…don’t tell me you used me as a guinea pig to test out the stuff in that book..?

Sawamura: Ah…no…that is…well…

Miyuki: SAWAMURA! (dissolves into a coughing fit)

Scene ends. As an epilogue, it moves to the next day, in the training ground.

Miyuki: Dammit. So much for being annoyed. After taking that stuff and sleeping through overnight, I’m completely healed up.

Sawamura: (cheerful) Miyuki-senpai! Isn’t it great? You seem to be full of beans again!

Furuya: Mm. I’m glad.

Miyuki: (disgruntled): Shut up.

Sawamura: You see, there was a point in me putting all that effort into making a remedy!

Miyuki: Ah…there’s one thing I still don’t get, however.

Sawamura: Huh?

Miyuki: The three of us were sitting there, naked, playing shiritori. Why am I the only one who got a cold, when you were both fine?

Sawamura: No point asking me..?

Miyuki: Ah! I get it! I see…that’s why, huh?

Sawamura: What is?

Miyuki: Well, they do say that there’s that something that prevents people catching colds, don’t they…I see.

Sawamura: (annoyed): You! Don’t just get all pleased with yourself like that!

Miyuki: (much more cheerful): Right, practice, practice!

Sawamura: Huh? Wait! Miyuki Kazuyaaaaa! Properly explain yourself!

Furuya: Eh…wait…that means…me as well??

(What Miyuki is referring to is the concept in Japan where they say idiots don’t catch colds…)

[vr2]

kaeyachilde is hot because i think theyre almost the same level of not-person in their usual lives so they see right through eachothers bullshit and thusforth have hte opportunity to just be directly their own ugly twisted selves no veneer needed their usual song and dance is just to keep others out and you end up realising you are both locked in the same cage and always have been. an illmade brotherhood of blood spilt in anger. of a rage and despair that makes crakcs nad fissures in the bedrock of your being.

how liberating to have no fear of your utter hatred, a beloved justified enemy, you are finally able to taste the sweetness of righteous anger and drown in it. a taste you can get addicted to, only found in one another. an impossible impact in slow motion, moving through the sweet molasses but finally seeing each other for the first time with clarity.

an object that can only be perceived in its most ugly base form, mangled bones of apex predators, fossils of deities from yesteryear. insurmountable evil, a hope borne from despair. you are both inevitable.

neither will enjoy conceding to enjoying eachothers company, like a bad habit, but childe is stronger in every way, a warrior through and through. he would punch through the target and fall once more into a land where he does not belong. a misplaced humanity, a compulsion that was found shivering, heart beating anew under the snowdrift.

childe being an expert combatant would zero-in on the very public messy weakspot of the ragbro fuckery clownshow. like any apex predator hes found a soft spot too pierce. what a great place to stab the knife and twist into kaeyas fleshy underbelly as well as fuck over the bitch thats been messing with fatui operations and he would absolutely go out of his way to fuck over their relationship as much as possible and manipulate the captain for once. i really feel like childre is the one current character (save dain) in lore that blatanlty truly holds the power to fuck up kaeya, to shatter him into pieces. especially if you consider how childe and diluc were (are) similarly protective older brothers turned into monstrous paragons of strength shunning their family to do so and once more, looking into the still water reflects the truth, a star is torn down from the sky and gulped down into the depths. the light does not reach the surface.

also just cause i think it would be funny for childe to be like. “diluc i am fucking your brother now and cause hes a little bitch hes going to fall in love with me completely and utterly and all those years you spent mistrusting him only helped me isolate him and really break his loyalty to mond and you. you really cant trust him now and theres nothing you can do about it without destroying your relationship even further or admitting you care and you will never do that bc youre a pussy :)” ntr of the heart

[livlepretre]

F, U, C, K, for the meme!

hahaha well done

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I would have to say the entire conversation in chapter 19 of Fairytale Ending between Marcel and Elena, but I’ll share this beginning part:

“Why do you say that?” The question nearly sticks in her throat, thick with tears as it is, yet when it does come, it’s soft, with a vulnerability that suggests even the slightest hint of malice will destroy her. She hates that she sounds like that, cannot help that she sounds like that.

“Only reason a girl like you would throw herself into the Mississippi were if her heart were broken.” He’s still staring at her, too intently for comfort. Fixing her face in his mind.

She scrubs furiously at her cheeks and tries to pull away from him. “I’m not doing this over a guy.”

“I never said you were.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Sure you do. Everyone does.” He pauses a moment, studying her. “Do you want to talk about it?” He gestures behind him, to the twinkling lights of Café Du Monde. “In my experience, there’s nothing coffee and donuts can’t fix.”

I chose this scene in particular because Marcel and Elena are two characters who have never canonically spoken, let alone been in a room together or been made aware of each other’s existences; I had to think a lot about who they are as people and then invent the entire dynamic between them whole cloth… and I feel like it worked, in this instance, and it feels like a real connection between the two of them… which I really needed for Plot Reasons. 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Herself – the master of gorgeous, emotional, hard-hitting fics that really take you on a journey. she wrote a ton of btvs, mostly spuffy, fics back in the 00s. she’s also fond of my favorite genre of fic, which is to say, the mildly depressing ones about what happens like, 10, 20 years later, after everything is long over. also, writes smut that is at once tender and literary and hot and is very much so porn with plot? I will never get over how she writes. I read her stories again and again. 

redcandle17 – she’s never been afraid to face and explore truly dark themes, and to plunge forward with or without a lantern, so to speak. I discovered her writing when I first started reading a song of ice and fire fic, promptly devoured all of it (there are hundreds) and even crossed into the mad max fury road fandom so I could read those fics too. it was worth it. my God was it worth it. 

audreyii_fic – lbr I’ll read anything she writes. lokane? check. lokane crack? check check. I think I joined the reylo ship because she was writing about it on her blog, and I also think I ended up watching doctor who because of her fondness for it. I’ve read just about every fandom she writes in, even the ones I have no idea what’s going on. there’s just a really particular blend of angst, and darkness, and off the deep end hilarity that I adore. she’s also the person I break my no au rule for– usually I only read in universe fics, but for this writer i’m like nope. college au? I’m there. steampunk au. perfect. a/b/o reylo fic with apps and emoji? glued to it. 

C: What member do you identify with most?

I’m feeling like by member it’s asking for which character? 

Tricky question. Would it be a cop out to say Elena? I spend so much time in her head, and I relate hard to her family first mentality. Also to her Sad Girl™ attitude. 

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Somehow I knew this was going to get asked, and the answer is still the original ending for Fairytale Ending, which was just like. game over, man. game over. so, since I still can’t talk about that because nothing is to say I’m not using elements of that ending in earlier portions of the fic… and of course, FE is just unrelentingly dark for a long time. 

How about instead I pull some from the list of other fics? 

The Last Time is pretty frickin angsty– I reread that the other day after someone commented on it, and the whole thing where Klaus and Elena almost get together in the swimming pool, after years and years of these loaded encounters, only for her to die tragically young (after vowing she would be the one to break the curse!) always gets me. 

One of the fics I want to write when I wrap FE is overall a very sad fic, but it’s more of a mellow depressing journey than like, getting stabbed with an angst shiv. It’s the fic where Klaus and Elena meet not in 2010, but later, like, in 2020 in New York– and the twist is he doesn’t recognize her. It’s going to be my take on the Very Unhappy But in a Muted I’m Not a Kid Anymore type of fic I mentioned loving earlier. My take on the kind of love story Klaus and Elena might have had if circumstances were different. 

[noscorpsaladerive]

@mordredoforkney asked me to talk about how i would rewrite lra but tumblr’s being stupid so i gotta repost it and not under a cut bc i can’t get the page to open on my blog :P

anyways i’ve waited y e a r s for this question i’ve had this typed up since 2015 and s/o to @europeansdomusicalsbetter for her thoughts and input

long story short i take out the rape scene and make it so all of the recorded songs fit into the show but this is super long so it’s going under the cut

Introduction to Merlin and his deal with the Dragon.  Scene with knights attempting to pull out Excalibur.  Méléagant tries and fails.  After misplacing his brother’s sword, Arthur is successful in removing the sword from the stone.  Méléagant gets angry and accuses Merlin of seeking power for himself. Advienne que pourra Gawain trains Arthur in sword fighting while they’re on their way to Camelot.  Julien/Homme du peuple shows up and is like “Dude Méléagant’s super pissed that you stole the throne from him so now he’s holding my liege hostage.  Come help please?”  Arthur agrees. Arthur and Méléagant face each other in battle.  Arthur wins but is badly injured in the process.  He asks Méléagant to knight him, and Méléagant reluctantly agrees.  The daughter of the lord arrives, and Méléagant reminds her that although he will no longer be king, he will still marry her.  He also hints at getting revenge before leaving with his henchmen.  Guinevere’s like yeah whatever this guy’s hot let’s get him healed.  Her handmaidens (who aren’t pregnant in my version because wtf was that dove) help the king’s knights bring him inside. Rêver l’impossible Arthur and Guinevere introduce themselves to each other.  Maybe also mention how much time has passed just because it’ll make more sense than being magically healed by pregnant handmaidens.  Merlin shows up and is like “Arthur I know you just got injured and that you think you’re in love, but we gotta go defeat the Saxons.”  Guinevere’s like “Mais le roi est fatigué ; il a besoin de repos” and Flo does that sassy wave that he did one time because he should do that forever and always. Quelque chose de magique Merlin returns and says, “Stop the party I’ve got to reintroduce Julien/Homme du peuple.”  Flo Arthur stops noodling long enough to listen to Julien rock out. Délivre-nous Arthur says something inspiring about how he must help his people before he can get laid or some shit.  He tells Guinevere that he must depart but that he will send for her once he has defeated the Saxons. Je me relève The Saxons have been defeated in what will probably result in another dramatic dance number.  Merlin and Gawain bring Arthur back to Camelot and the court.  Or maybe instead of starting this scene with them, it could start with Kay at Camelot, and he receives word that the new king will be arriving soon.  Then Urien could talk to Morgane (thus establishing contact way before “Il est temps”), and her dead parents are mentioned so she can sing.  Maybe something is mentioned about the round table too? Ce que la vie a fait de moi Merlin and Gawain arrive in court with Arthur in tow.  They have some fancy arrival scene where Arthur is introduced as the son of Uther Pendragon. Morgane has a startled yet confused reaction at first.  Arthur makes an announcement that he is to be married and that they must send for Guinevere at once.  If not mentioned earlier, the round table should be mentioned here.  As Arthur and company leave the stage, the setting changes to Morgane’s chambers that evening where she dreams of her mother. Dors Morgane dors (the version on the CD not the stage version) Morgane wakes from her trance in a rage.  She swears vengeance on not only Arthur but Merlin as well for the role that he played in her mother’s rape. Tu vas le payer Kay once again announces the arrival of the future queen of Camelot, and nothing is changed about this scene because it is Emily’s aesthetic and it is perfect. Au diable After Guinevere is settled in court (aka after she sits down on the throne), a mysterious group of players arrive to entertain the king.  Knowing that Arthur would never take her seriously if he knew who told the story, Morgane arrives in disguise. A l’enfant After Morgane reveals herself, Arthur is furious.  Upset at how he reacted and because she accidentally played a role in confronting her future husband, Guinevere rushes off stage (so she can get changed into her next costume).  Merlin and Arthur share a moment where Merlin does some dramatic foreshadowing about how that probably wasn’t a good idea and Arthur’s like “I don’t give a fuck.”   Transition into Guinevere’s garden.  Kay tries to cheer up the future queen with his silly antics, and her handmaidens quickly catch on and join in.  However, nothing really cheers her up until an unknown man shows up in her garden with his sassy squad of backup dancers.  The young man demands to see the king so he can become a knight.  After learning that he must be introduced, he asks Guinevere to do so.  They have several moments of cuteness yet also sadness since you know she’s kind of engaged to another, and she eventually agrees to introduce him.  She bids him farewell and sweeps offstage in her fabulous dress.  Lancelot is so excited that he’s going to be a knight and that he met the most beautiful lady in the world that he has to sing about it because it’s a freaking musical.  Tamara/Leia is probably hanging around so she can report to Morgane. Le monde est parfait Literally the exact same scene that’s currently in the show. ��Even down to the “Donnez-moi une mission; je préfère mourir.”  “Restez en vie, c’est un ordre!”   Si je te promets

INTERMISSION

Tant de haine During the song, Morgane and Tamara arrive.  Distrusting her at first, Méléagant decides to trust her after learning of the wrongs that Merlin and Arthur have committed against her.  They decide to form an alliance.  Morgane mentions that she can put a spell on Méléagant that will make him powerful enough to defeat Arthur and take his rightful place on the throne.  She also announces her plan to destroy Arthur by using Guinevere and Lancelot’s love, and Morgane goes on to explain that by destroying Arthur, they will destroy Merlin as well. Transition to Camelot where Kay announces that the royal couple is about to be married.  Arthur and Guinevere are married while Lancelot sings. L’amour quel idiot Arthur pulls Merlin aside to have a father/son moment.  Arthur is still angsty over Morgane’s accusations, and he wonders what he should do now that the Saxons are defeated. Qui suis-je ? Merlin reiterates that Arthur should go after the Grail and maybe mentions something about how Arthur is not responsible for the mistakes of his father (this is some J’accuse mon père stuff right here).  Arthur agrees to seek out the Grail in a reprise that currently (unfortunately) does not exist. Je me relève (reprise) Transition to Méléagant’s castle.  Méléagant wants to know why Morgane’s plan is taking so long.  She tells him that the spell is ready, then they go into the “Je le jure” bit before breaking into song.  During the instrumental break in the middle, there’s some cool witchcraft happening.  This is when Morgane takes Méléagant’s soul. A nos vœux sacrés These next few songs will literally happen exactly like they currently do in the show.  Except Méléagant just falls asleep in his shadows’ arms instead of dying.  He lives, he sleeps, he lives again. (sorry samuel this is something we’d joke and say about méléagant since the skull makeup makes him look like a warboy from mad max fury road XD) Faire comme si Wake Up Nos corps à la dérive Il est temps Mon combat -- this now serves more as foreshadowing of a future confrontation instead of the confrontation itself (hopefully anyways) Le Chant du dragon Auprès d’un autre After Guinevere and Lancelot have left, Arthur’s gaze falls upon Morgane, and he orders his knights to arrest her.  He tells her that he figured out her plan, but that it won’t work.  He’s hurt, but he has forgiven Guinevere and Lancelot and will continue to rule.  Arthur orders his knights to step away from Morgane, and he tells her that he forgives her too and that she is free to leave if she chooses.  Morgane is in disbelief; how can he forgive her after all the pain she just put him through?  She tells Arthur no.  She will stay in Camelot and help him become the greatest king of all time. Un Nouveau Départ - sung by Morgane, change the line about vengeance.  Maybe other cast members join in during the later verses/refrains? Promis c’est juré - curtain call song plus one more jam for the road (maybe mon combat instead of quelque chose de magique)

obvs there are still a couple of kinks to work out but @ dove pls hire me to rewrite your musical

[sandy-s-d]

New Orleans Places in My Fanfic (and a few extras)

People are always asking me where to go in New Orleans, and while I am not a native, I grew up going there for vacation a lot with my family and did get to live there for a year and a hand full of months before Hurricane Katrina hit. Since then, my husband and I have been back. The first time, he took me all the places I missed, including swinging by my old apartment. Super important for healing purposes, you know? Anyway, I’ve loved incorporating New Orleans places into my fanfics, and when @iamoffyourbird asked for a list of places to go, I decided to create a list I can give my RL friends and add in little notes from the fanfics, too. Putting it here for fun. 

New Orleans Locations (Some in My Fanfic)

Food: Some people say the better beignets are elsewhere, but I love the ones at Cafe du Monde, and you have to go for the location, the history, and the experience. Buffy and Willow have beignets and frozen café au laits here in A Small Boat in the Ocean. Buffy and Spike have beignets and frozen café au laits here in Hello Goodbye and allude to having them here in A Small Boat in the Ocean. Love chicory coffee! http://www.cafedumonde.com

For the gumbo experience, you have to go to the Gumbo Shop (it's different than the other place with the similar name). I’ve gone here since I was a kid. Buffy and Willow talk about going here in a Small Boat in the Ocean. Fresh French bread is perfect for dipping in the gumbo, and they have their own hot sauce which is yummy. I always buy a couple of bottles to take home. http://www.gumboshop.com

For an out of the Quarter treat, Jacques Imo's is a great place to go. You have to get there right when it's open to get a seat, and when I lived in New Orleans, the owner was known to show up wearing his chef’s coat and boxers. The alligator cheesecake is unique and delicious. Buffy and Spike have a date here in A Small Boat on the Ocean. http://jacques-imos.com

Mr. B's Bistro has delicious pecan pie (and other food). Dawn texts Emily’s Watcher to bring food from here before she gets kidnapped by Illyria in a Small Boat on the Ocean. http://www.mrbsbistro.com

Acme Oyster House has delicious oysters! I don’t like raw oysters, but I adore their baked ones with cheese and other spices. SO good! This is one of Dawn’s favorite places in Hello Goodbye. http://www.acmeoyster.com

Other places I love that aren’t mentioned…yet…

Brennans is excellent for brunch. Funny story: during my intern year, a lady whom my brother and I stood next to during Mardi Gras gave us $100 to go have a nice meal in New Orleans. She knew I was a poor intern, and her husband owned shopping malls. He was grateful we’d kept his wife company while he was gambling at the casino and got stuck there because of the parade. We went to Brennans for brunch. The interesting story is that there is a feud between family members and the one in NOLA and the Brennans in Houston are owned by the feuding family members. lol So they're a bit different but both excellent. https://www.brennansneworleans.com

For jazz brunch, I've heard the one at the Court of Two Sisters is fantastic but have never gotten to go: http://www.courtoftwosisters.com

For breakfast or lunch, you have to at least swing by Mother's...a famous little place outside the Quarter and near the casino. Lots of celebs and presidents have gone here. If you're so inclined, get the roast beef with debris. SO yummy. I wanted to include this place in A Small Boat on the Ocean, but I could never get the location to work in the story. https://www.mothersrestaurant.net

For the muffuletta experience, you have to get one at Central Grocery. There's usually a line out the door and when they run out of sandwich stuff for the day, it's done. Plus, if you like olives, you can buy a jar of their muffuletta spread to take home. https://centralgrocery.com

I'm so bummed but my favorite pralines are no longer in the Jackson Brewery like when I was a kid. They are a bit of a drive, but it's totally worth it to check out their new bigger store. These are hands down my favorite pralines in all of the Quarter (I've tried most of them). I really really wanted to include this place in A Small Boat on the Ocean, but the new location made it difficult, so I made the moveable hellmouth at a praline shop that had been destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. https://www.bayoucountry.com

https://neworleansschoolofcooking.com You can take a cooking class here. I've always wanted to! They also have delicious pralines – not as good as Bayou Country and also much smaller.

In a Small Boat on the Ocean, Buffy works at this particular CC’s Coffee. It's actually down the street from that haunted condo that we stayed at. While my husband slept, I snuck over here for a latte one morning. The Quarter off of Bourbon St. is really quiet and pretty to walk around in the morning before people are up and going. (CC's is the local coffee company that has tried for years to keep out Starbucks.) http://www.ccscoffee.com/locations/royal-st/

Bars: The Old Absinthe House https://www.ruebourbon.com/oldabsinthehouse/ They have some sort of egg drink here that my husband really wanted to try. Definitely worth a visit but not necessarily for that drink. Lol

Lafitte's http://www.lafittesblacksmithshop.com/Homepage.html I believe it's one of the oldest bars in New Orleans.

The bar at the Bourbon Orleans has good drinks with fresh ingredients. We got a couple of free drink tickets a piece when we stayed there. I was pregnant and they made me the most delicious fresh juice drink (alcohol free of course).

The other bar that's an absolute must in the Quarter is Pat O'Brien's because duh, you have to get a hurricane! This bar is mentioned in Adventures in Vamp-Sitting because Spike and Clem are standing outside it. http://www.patobriens.com/patobriens/default.asp

Head to Frenchman Street for late night stuffs...it's away from the Bourbon crowd which is a must experience but can get old. Spike works at the Spotted Cat in A Small Boat on the Ocean and Adventures in Vamp-Sitting. Spike and Clem sing a song here in Adventures in Vamp-Sitting. Buffy and Spike go on a date to hear Kermit Ruffins play at the Blue Nile in Hello Goodbye. It’s also mentioned in A Small Boat on the Ocean and Adventures in Vamp-Sitting. Snug Harbor is supposed to be amazing, but I’ve never been. http://frenchmenstreetlive.com http://bluenilelive.com

I highly highly recommend going to see Kermit Ruffins play wherever he's playing. It was on our MUST DO list from my training director when we lived there. He was playing at the Blue Nile for the longest but he seems to be all over the place now. https://www.songkick.com/artists/115899-kermit-ruffins About him: https://www.basinstreetrecords.com/artists/kermit-ruffins/

Places to Stay: 734 B Royal St., New Orleans, LA I’m not sure if this place is still for rent, but my husband and I stayed there in 2013. The ghost tour stopped at the door every evening. It’s supposedly haunted by the Octoroon, a young girl who is supposed to be very friendly. Her cat can be heard on the third floor. This place is the second floor. Buffy stays here in Hello Goodbye, and later Buffy and Spike stay here, too, in the same fic. It’s right next to the blue dog museum and the cathedral, and it’s really magical to wake up to the cathedral bells ringing.

We also stayed at the Bourbon Orleans. It’s supposedly haunted on the uppermost floors, but I was too scared to stay up there. http://www.bourbonorleans.com

Also, if you want to stay where I stayed when I was a kid and want the full people watching Bourbon Street experience, stay here. It used to be a Best Western. https://www.neworleans.com/listing/four-points-by-sheraton-french-quarter/672/

Touristy Things

Steamboat Natchez – this is the steamboat I went on with my family as a kid. It’s nice to take a ride up and down the Mississippi River. https://www.steamboatnatchez.com

The French Market is a really great place for shopping, food, and drinks. Buffy goes here at night when it’s closed in Hello Goodbye. https://www.frenchmarket.org

At St. Louis Cathedral, you can go inside and at night, there are all the fortune tellers and musicians outside. Artists are outside during the day, and there is a lovely garden in front of the cathedral. I attended Mass once here during my internship year. Buffy notices the fortune tellers in Hello Goodbye and actually talks Spike into taking her to see one in A Small Boat on the Ocean. http://www.stlouiscathedral.org

You can also take a tour around the Quarter in a horse and buggy...they're stationed near the cathedral and Café du Monde.

The ghost tours are supposed to be really cool.

And cemetery tours are unique because the graves are all above ground. St. Louis Cemetery No. 1 would be a good place to tour, and Buffy goes here looking for an easy slay in A Small Boat on the Ocean. This is where Marie Laveau is buried. http://discoverhistoricamericatours.com/new-orleans/historical-locations/st-louis-cemetery-no-1/

If you want, you can take a streetcar, which is kind of fun. I think we used to ride one to the zoo when I was a kid. https://www.neworleansonline.com/tools/transportation/gettingaround/streetcars.html?

Audubon park is gorgeous for the large oaks and is in that beautiful section with the fancy old houses. You could probably pair this with the Columns hotel or Jacques Imo's or the Audubon zoo, which is a lovely zoo. https://audubonnatureinstitute.org/audubon-park

If you go to the park, check out the Columns hotel for happy hour...this is where Willow and Oz get engaged in A Small Boat on the Ocean. They have a jazz brunch, but I’ve never been. https://thecolumns.com

The WWII museum is supposed to be wonderful. https://www.nationalww2museum.org

Hurricane Katrina exhibition appears in Adventures in Vamp-Sitting. I dragged my poor husband here. https://louisianastatemuseum.org/presbytere/exhibit/living-hurricanes-katrina-beyond

And Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo is a must see shop. I’ve gone there every time I’m in New Orleans and it’s always so interesting to visit. https://voodooneworleans.com/

There are plantation home tours and swamp tours. I’ve always wanted to do a swamp tour!

When Anne Rice lived in New Orleans (not sure if she still does...I know she moved back and forth at one point), she had a Halloween party at her house every year. Now, it sounds like the fans have a vampire ball. http://annerice.com/Lestat-TheVampireBall.html

[gyrlversion]

Macron vows to rebuild Notre Dame cathedral after devastating fire

French President Emmanuel Macron vowed to rebuild Notre Dame with help from the international community after a devastating fire gutted the famous Catholic cathedral last night.

Speaking just hours after the roof of the 850-year-old building caved in, Macron said a national fundraising campaign to restore the historic building would be launched today, and he called on the world’s ‘greatest talents’ to help.

The French leader credited the ‘courage’ and ‘great professionalism’ of firefighters with sparing Notre Dame’s spectacular Gothic facade and two landmark towers from being destroyed, saying ‘the worst has been avoided’.

But much of the UNESCO World Heritage landmark building was devastated. The 300ft-tall Gothic spire collapsed into the embers early in the blaze to pained cries of ‘Oh my God’ from locals transfixed by the unfolding scene.

‘We have been dealt a knockout blow,’ a grief-stricken Paris Archbishop Michel Aupetit said at the scene.

Scroll down for video 

As darkness fell on Paris on Monday evening the ruined cathedral was illuminated by the flames still burning in the roof as firefighters battled on against the inferno

A shard of the cathedral’s spire plummets through the air as it collapsed earlier after the fire burned through its foundations

A view from inside the cathedral shows flames in the roof as firefighters douse it from below with hoses. A shocked firefighter looks back at the camera as the blaze is seen raging through a hole in the roof

A spokesperson for the cathedral told Le Monde that the entire frame of the historic cathedral’s roof (pictured here before the blaze) had caught fire

The blaze broke out just before 7pm local time in a roof area undergoing around £6m of renovations. The fire service said last night they believed it was an accident, but investigations were continuing.

More than 400 firefighters battled the flames, which quickly spread along the roof structure, causing burning timbers to collapse onto the ceiling of the vault below. Some of that collapsed into the aisle however the cathedral’s Twitter account declared the damage inside was less than feared, in a message ending ‘Allelujah’.

At around 3am local time, Paris fire brigade chief Jean-Claude Gallet said: ‘We can consider that the main structure of Notre-Dame has been saved and preserved as well as the two towers.’

And a brigade spokesman added: ‘We will continue to watch over any residual pockets of fire and cool down the areas that are still red-hot, like the wooden beam framework.’

One fireman was severely injured tackling the blaze, but no fatalities were reported. The building – and the entire Ile de la Cite island it occupies in the centre of the French capital – were successfully evacuated as the seriousness of the fire became clear.

As well as the historic stricture, the cathedral was home to dozens of priceless artefacts, including the reputed Crown of Thorns worn by Jesus during his crucifixion.

A human chain of emergency service workers carried this and many other items to safety.

Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo said: ‘Thank you to the [Paris fire brigade], policemen and the municipal agents who have made this evening a tremendous human chain to save the works of Notre Dame. The Crown of Thorns, the tunic of Saint Louis and several other major works are now in a safe place.’

Priceless works that couldn’t be moved fared less well. Firefighters told how the building’s stained-glass rose windows, high on the north, west and south faces of the cathedral, ‘exploded’ in the heat of the inferno.

‘They exploded because of the heat of the blaze,’ said one, referring to the Rosette West, which was created in 1225, the Rosette North and the Rossette South, both from 1250.

An aerial view of the cathedral taken from a police drone showed the famous structure completely stripped of its roof and still ablaze on the inside

Drone footage from the French Interior Ministry showed the devastation to the cathedral’s centuries-old timber roof

Speaking with tears in his eyes on the steps of the cathedral, Macron vowed to rebuild Notre Dame with the help of the international community

Teams of firefighters from across the city were called in to try and put out the fire after it spread quickly through the cathedral on Monday evening

Much of the top of the structure fell victim to the inferno including the famous spire and part of the dome at the back of the church

The fast moving fire consumed the roof of the cathedral. This evening, President Emmanuel Macron said the whole nation was moved. ‘Like all our compatriots, I am sad this evening to see this part of all of us burn,’ he tweeted

Smoke continues to billow into the Paris sky this evening as firefighters try to stop the flames from spreading

Pictures from inside the centuries old church show the stone-built roof of the structure partially caved in after the huge blaze

Many of the church pews were pictured intact despite the blaze as the stone-made part of the church remained largely intact despite the wooden roof structure caving in

Firefighters had also struggled to take down many of the large paintings in the cathedral, administrative cleric Monsignor Patrick Chauvet said, meaning the scale of the devastation will not be known for some time.

But at the height of the inferno, many feared the entire building would be lost.

Cathedral spokesman Andre Finot said: ‘Everything is burning. The frame – which dates to the 19th century on one side and the 13th century on the other – there will be nothing left.’

And as the fire spread, President Macron Tweeted: ‘Our Lady of Paris in flames. Emotion of a whole nation. Thoughts go out to all Catholics and all of France. Like all our countrymen, I’m sad tonight to see this part of us burn.’

He was joined by politicians, religious leaders and academics who lamented the losses suffered.

‘If Paris is the Eiffel Tower then France is Notre Dame. It’s the entire culture, entire history of France incarnated in this monument,’ Bernard Lecomte, a writer and specialist in religious history told French TV.

The Vatican expressed its ‘incredulity’ and ‘sadness’ over the fire and offered prayers for firefighters tackling the blaze and solidarity with the French people.

In Washington, Donald Trump tweeted: ‘So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.’

The Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby sent the best wishes of the Anglican church to people at the scene. ‘Tonight we pray for the firefighters tackling the tragic Notre Dame fire – and for everyone in France and beyond who watches and weeps for this beautiful, sacred place where millions have met with Jesus Christ,’ he said.

And British Prime Minister Theresa May added: ‘My thoughts are with the people of France tonight and with the emergency services who are fighting the terrible blaze.’

Firefighters were still battling to bring the blaze under control as night drew in on Paris and the roof of Notre Dame was still on fire. The stained glass window also appeared to have been destroyed by the heat of the fire

The scaffolding at the top of the church and the wooden frame of the building was said to be completely ablaze by a cathedral spokesperson

The famous spire of Notre Dame collapsed dramatically at around 7.15pm GMT after the blaze tore through the wooden structure at the top of the building

Firefighters tackle the blaze on Monday evening as flames and smoke rise from the Notre Dame cathedral as it burns in Paris

As the flames died down, thoughts turned to rebuilding the monument.

In an impassioned speech outside the cathedral, President Macron said: ‘We will appeal to the greatest talents and we will rebuild Notre Dame because that’s what the French are waiting for, because that’s what our history deserves, because it’s our deepest destiny.’

Late on Monday evening French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault pledged 100 million euros (£86.2 million) towards the rebuilding the cathedral.

In a statement sent the CEO of the Kering group, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent fashion houses, said the money towards ‘the effort necessary to completely rebuild Notre Dame’ would be paid by the Pinault family’s investment firm Artemis.

The cathedral is one of Europe’s most-visited landmarks, and as Holy Week got underway yesterday, thousands of tourists were in the vicinity and were joined by locals who spilled open-mouthed onto the streets to watch the disaster unfolding.

Firefighters douse flames billowing from the roof as they try to stop the flames spreading. Nobody has been injured, junior interior minister Laurent Nunez said at the scene, adding: ‘It’s too early to determine the causes of the fire’

The burning orange of the flames can be seen through the rose petal window this evening as Parisians and tourists look on in horror as the blaze continues to spread at the cathedral

People watch in Paris this evening as the fire at the Notre Dame Cathedral continues to swarm the building, as firefighters fight to contain it

The spire collapses while flames are burning through the roof at teh Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris today. The blaze started in the late afternoon at one of the most visited monuments in the French capital

A cordon is in place as fire crews spray water on the gothic cathedral to try and stem the flames this evening

A lone firefighter on a crane uses a hose to try and extiguish the flames this evening. British Prime Minister Theresa May expressed her thoughts for the people of France and emergency services battling a devastating fire this evening

The flames have engulfed large parts of the Cathedral, located in central Paris. A spurt of water can be seen at the bottom right of the picture as firefighters do battle with the blaze this evening. Officials in Paris said the fire could be linked to restoration works as the peak of the church is currently undergoing a 6 million-euro ($6.8 million) renovation project

The spire seen leaning slightly over as it began to give way because of the fire ripping through its foundations and the rest of the roof

One of the turrets on the cathedral before it collapsed (left) at around 7.00pm this evening and afterwards at around 7.30pm

French President Emmanuel Macron tweeted shortly after the fire broke out that he was sad to see ‘a part of us burn’ and sent his sympathies to people across France

A visibly upset Emmanual Macron walking near the Notre Dame Cathedral as it burns this evening. The French President postponed an important address to the nation that was to lay out his responses to the yellow vest crisis because of the massive fire

‘Notre-Dame survived all the wars, all the bombardments. We never thought it could burn. I feel incredibly sad and empty,’ Stephane Seigneurie, a consultant who joined other shocked onlookers in a solemn rendition of ‘Ave Maria’ as they watched the fire from a nearby bridge.

‘Paris is disfigured. The city will never be like it was before,’ said Philippe, a communications worker in his mid-30s.

Jacky Lafortune, a 72-year-old artist and self-described atheist stood forlornly on the banks of the River Seine staring at the cathedral.

Comparing the mood in the French capital to the aftermath of a terror attack he said: ‘But this stirs much deeper emotions because Notre-Dame is linked to the very foundations of our culture.’

The cathedral, one the finest example of French Gothic architecture in Europe, is located at the centre of the French capital in the Middle Ages and its construction was completed in the mid-14th century after some 200 years of work.

During the French Revolution in the 18th century, the cathedral was vandalised in widespread anti-Catholic violence. Its spire was dismantled, its treasures plundered and its large statues at the grand entrance doors destroyed.

It would go on to feature as a central character in a Victor Hugo novel published in 1831, ‘The Hunchback of Notre-Dame’ and shortly afterwards a restoration project lasting two decades got under way, led by architect Eugene Viollet-le-Duc.

The building survived the devastation of two global conflicts in the 20th century and famously rang its bells on August 24, 1944, the day of the Liberation of Paris from German occupation at the end of the World War II.

Before yesterday’s blaze it was in the midst of renovations, with some sections under scaffolding, and bronze statues had been removed last week for works.

Its 330ft-long roof, of which a large section was consumed in the first hour of the blaze, was one of the oldest such structures in Paris.

I walked through the gutted cathedral… then the crucifix shone from what remained of the altar, a symbol of defiance in the gloom: ROBERT HARDMAN is among first witnesses inside ravaged Notre Dame 

Sparks and bits of flaming woodwork are still cascading from the remnants of the 12th-century roof.

The smell instantly sears the back of your throat like a dose of smelling salts and my feet are soaked. The ancient black and white tiles leading up the aisle are under a gently-flowing river of hose water from the fire crews pumping what seems like much of the River Seine from their elevated platforms.

Yet I can faithfully report that the Cathedral of Notre Dame is not entirely destroyed. Because I am standing inside it – alongside the French prime minister.

In the early hours of this morning, I was among the first people to be allowed inside the ruins of one of the world’s finest cathedrals following the fire which has shocked not just the entire French nation but much of the planet.

A blaze which begin in the cathedral’s loft at 6.30pm had turned into an all-consuming catastrophe by nightfall. Officials reported that the wooden interior of the medieval cathedral had been almost completely destroyed.

Certainly, Notre Dame’s spire is no more. Great chunks of its eastern end are no more. Its world-famous stained glass windows are in smithereens and the whole edifice is open to the skies.

Robert Hardman was given access to the charred remains of the Notre Dame cathedral in the early hours of Tuesday morning

Smoke is seen around the alter inside Notre Dame cathedral on Monday evening. Miracolously the cross and altar have managed to survive the inferno

But Paris will wake today to see that the cathedral that has defied world wars, enemy occupations, revolutions and mobs galore is still poking its head above the Paris skyline.

And at 1am today, at the far end of the cathedral, illuminated by lingering embers and firefighters’ equipment, I could just make out a stunning symbol of defiance through the gloom: the unmistakeable sight of a crucifix on what remains of the altar.

Notre Dame is gravely damaged. Yet its most spectacular features – the 850-year-old twin towers – are still there. For centuries, these were the highest structures in Paris until the Eiffel Tower came along. To this day, they are instantly recognisable the world over. And last night, though looking very sorry for themselves, they were in one piece as I stood beneath them alongside a posse of fire crews and prime ministerial aides.

Within hours, speculation was rife as to the cause of the fire. For now, it seems that it was what one official called a ‘stray flame’ – linked to a £5 million restoration project – which sparked the inferno.

Experts have warned for years that the cathedral has been in a poor condition, with the French state reluctant to fund renovation work in recent decades.

Experts said that the building needed a £129.5million (€150million) restoration, but the state had only offered €40million.

Pictures taken outside the cathedral and from the entrance hall in the early hours of Tuesday show emergency service personnel still working to make the site safe

Massive plumes of yellow brown smoke is filling the air above Notre Dame Cathedral and ash is falling on tourists and others around the island that marks the centre of Paris. Firefighters can be seen on the left, fighting the fire

The cathedral was seeking private donations to make up the rest.

The flames were first spotted just minutes after the building had closed to the public for the day. Echoing the fears of his entire country, French president Emmanuel Macron instantly declared a national emergency. ‘Our Lady of Paris in flames,’ he declared on Twitter. ‘Like all our countrymen, I’m sad tonight to see this part of us burn.’

He has pledged to rebuild Notre Dame, saying: ‘Notre Dame is our history, our imagination, where we’ve lived all our great moments, and is the epicentre of our lives.

‘It’s the story of our books, our paintings. It’s the cathedral for all French people, even if they have never been. But it is burning and I know this sadness will be felt by all of our citizens.

‘Tomorrow a national subscription will be launched for people around the country to help rebuild this great Notre Dame. Because that’s what the French people want. That is what their history requires. Because that is our destiny.’

Questions were immediately asked about the way in which a fire could take such a rapid hold of one of the world’s most visited – and most beloved – landmarks. The firefighting response was also questioned as few, if any, high-pressure water hoses were able to reach the roof in the first hour. Critically, the Paris prosecutor has already opened an inquiry.

I arrived last night to find a dumbstruck City of Light still bathed in a dismal afterglow. Here, on the banks of the Seine, tens of thousands of people – of all nationalities – stared incredulously at the slow death of a part of France’s soul.

The fire spread rapidly across the roof-line of the cathedral leaving one of the spires and another section of the roof engulfed in flames

To describe the cathedral of Notre Dame as a national monument is a grave understatement. Imagine Westminster Abbey, St Paul’s Cathedral and the Tower of London all going up in smoke at the same time and you begin to appreciate the magnitude of this loss, except that Notre Dame attracts – or used to attract – twice as many annual visitors as those three London landmarks put together.

That is why, as news began to spread last night, Parisians flocked to the Seine. They came here not as voyeurs but as mourners. They came to pay their last respects. Some sang hymns. Many were in tears. Some brought flowers and cards to place they knew not where. Understandably, perhaps, no one saw fit to light a candle. 

From medieval times, Notre Dame has marked the epochs in the story of this proud country and inspired one of the most famous literary masterpieces in the French language, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. This August marks the 75th anniversary of the day that General Charles De Gaulle marked the liberation of Paris within its walls, even as sporadic gunfire continued outside.

This is a city which was famously spared the destruction which history has wreaked on so many other European capitals. It really did feel blessed; almost eternal. Not any more. Those twin towers are now blackened and wide open to the elements. By midnight, however, the flames had died down as the first glimmers of firemen’s torches could be seen here and there in the remains.

I joined what I can only describe as a requiem mass of Parisians chanting prayers on the Pont de Notre Dame. All approaches to the cathedral’s island site had been sealed off to the public but crowds kept on coming from all directions for a glimpse. 

‘At least the two towers are still standing, and they must stay up so that Notre Dame can be reborn,’ said civil servant Pascal Boichut, 52. There was a glimmer of hope when Paris fire brigade chief Jean-Claude Gallet told reporters: ‘We consider that the main structure of Notre Dame has been preserved.’

In a statement the CEO of the Kering group, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent fashion houses, said the money towards ‘the effort necessary to completely rebuild Notre Dame’ would be paid by the Pinault family’s investment firm Artemis.

Macron had earlier cancelled a major televised policy speech he was due to give on Monday evening to respond to months of protests, and instead headed to the scene in person.

He said while the ‘worst had been avoided’ and the facade and two towers saved, ‘the next hours will be difficult’.

Paris fire brigade chief Jean-Claude Gallet said ‘we can consider that the main structure of Notre Dame has been saved and preserved’ as well as the two towers.

French billionaire pledges 100 million euros to help rebuild Notre Dame Cathedral 

A French billionaire has pledged 100 million euros to help rebuild Notre Dame Cathedral as a defiant President Macron launches a national fundraising campaign to restore the building to its former glory.

The catastrophic blaze destroyed the roof of the 850-year-old UNESCO world heritage landmark as horrified Parisians looked on – many in tears and praying – on Monday evening.

A visibly emotional Macron, spoke outside the gothic cathedral and said a national fundraising campaign to restore Notre Dame would be launched Tuesday, as he called on the world’s ‘greatest talents’ to help.

He said: ‘We will appeal to the greatest talents and we will rebuild Notre Dame because that’s what the French are waiting for, because that’s what our history deserves, because it’s our deepest destiny.’

Late on Monday evening French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault pledged 100 million euros (£86.2 million) towards the rebuilding of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, which was partly gutted by a devastating fire

French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault, who is married to Hollywood actress Salma Hayek, pledged 100 million euros (£86.2 million) towards the rebuilding of the cathedral.

In a statement the CEO of the Kering group, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent fashion houses, said the money towards ‘the effort necessary to completely rebuild Notre Dame’ would be paid by the Pinault family’s investment firm Artemis.

Macron had earlier cancelled a major televised policy speech he was due to give on Monday evening to respond to months of protests, and instead headed to the scene in person.

He said while the ‘worst had been avoided’ and the facade and two towers saved, ‘the next hours will be difficult’.

Paris fire brigade chief Jean-Claude Gallet said ‘we can consider that the main structure of Notre Dame has been saved and preserved’ as well as the two towers.

Deputy Interior Minister Laurent Nunez, also present at the scene on Monday evening, said that for the first time ‘the fire had decreased in intensity’ while still urging ‘extreme caution’.

The Vatican on Monday expressed its ‘incredulity’ and ‘sadness’, expressing ‘our closeness with French Catholics and with the Parisian population.’

The cause of the blaze was not immediately confirmed. The cathedral had been undergoing intense restoration work which the fire service said could be linked to the blaze.

French prosecutors said it was being treated as an ‘involuntary’ fire, indicating that foul play was ruled out for now.

Parisians applaud the firefighters who formed a human chain to save Notre Dame’s priceless collection of art and relics – including the Crown Of Thorns from Jesus’ crucifixion 

Firefighters, police, and churchmen risked their lives last night to carry priceless historical artefacts and religious relics away from the flames which engulfed Notre Dame de Paris.

The Mayor of Paris tweeted her thanks to first responders for forming ‘a formidable human chain’ to save irreplaceable objects including the relic believed by Catholics to be the crown of thorns which was put on Jesus’ head as he died on the cross.

Mayor Anne Hidalgo went on: ‘The Crown of Thorns, the tunic of Saint Louis and several other major works are now in a safe place.’

Emergency responders worked with city staff to manhandle priceless relics away from the fire

Reliquaries, statues, and artefacts including the crown of thorns were saved from the fire by ‘human chain’

And Father Fournier, Chaplain of the Paris Firefighters, told reporters he went into the burning cathedral to save the Blessed Sacrament and Crown of Thorns.

Parisians applauded and cheered fire crews as they drove through the streets in the early hours of the morning.

The church’s treasure trove of priceless artworks and religious relics include the Crown of Thorns said to have been placed on the head of Jesus before he was crucified, a piece of the True Cross on which he is said to have died and a nail from the crucifixion.

The relics were obtained from the Byzantine Empire in 1238 and brought to Paris by King Louis IX.

Notre Dame is also home to priceless paintings dating back to the 1600s, including a series known as the Petits Mays, gifted to the cathedral once a year from 1630 to 1707.

Among the most celebrated artworks are three stained-glass rose windows high up on the west, north and south faces of the cathedral.

Shortly after midnight, Paris time, the artefacts had been safely transferred to a storage room

Worries onlookers were filmed looking at the salvaged antiquities on the night the cathedral’s ancient roof burned to cinders

Notre Dame’s Great Organ, which dates back to the 13th century and was restored in the early 1990s, is considered the most famous in the world, with five keyboards and nearly 8,000 pipes.

Last night firemen at the scene said all efforts were being directed at saving artwork in the cathedral and preventing the collapse of its northern tower.

‘Everything is collapsing,’ a police officer near the scene said as the cathedral continued to burn.

The ten bells of Notre Dame are renowned across Europe and the first nine are named Marie, Gabriel, Anne-Genevieve, Denis, Marcel, Etienne, Benoit-Joseph, Maurice, and Jean-Marie.

The final and largest, known as the bourdon bell Emmanuel, weighs more than 13 tonnes. It sits in the southern tower and has been a part of the building since 1681.

In 1944, Emmanuel was rung in celebration and triumph by French troops and allies to announce to the city that it was on its way to liberation.

The famous gargoyles and chimera that adorn Notre Dame were built in the 19th century by architect Eugene Viollet-le-Duc. The original purpose of the gargoyles was to assist with the building’s drainage, but they have become one of its most-loved features.

The crown is an interleaved ring of reeds, the thorns having been separated and displayed at churches across the medieval world

Catholics believe the relic is the ‘crown’ placed on Jesus’ head in mockery as he was crucified

A priest wipes the Crown of Thorns, a relic of the passion of Christ, at Notre Dame de Paris

In the 1790s, Notre Dame was desecrated during the French Revolution when much of its religious imagery was damaged or destroyed and its treasures plundered.

The 28 statues of biblical kings located at the west facade, mistaken for statues of French kings, were beheaded.

All of the other large statues on the facade, with the exception of that of the Virgin Mary on the portal of the cloister, were destroyed.

The cathedral was restored over 25 years after the publication of the book The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo in 1831 brought it into the spotlight.

Sixteen statues that were part of the cathedral’s destroyed spire were safe and unscathed after being removed as part of a renovation a few days ago, and that the relics had also been saved.

The green-grey statues, representing the 12 apostles and four evangelists, were apparently lowered by cranes from the site and taken away.

The cathedral also has a spectacular series of carved wooden stalls and statues representing the Passion of the Christ.

A man puts his hand to his mouth in pure shock as he watches the flames burst from the historic catherdral

A woman reacts with horror as she watches the collosal fire engulf the roof of the Notre Dame. The colossal fire swept through the cathedral causing a spire to collapse and threatening to destroy the entire masterpiece and its precious artworks. The fire, which began in the early evening, sent flames and huge clouds of grey smoke billowing into the Paris sky as stunned Parisians and tourists looked on in dismay

A woman on the phone looks on at the burning cathedral and smoke billows into the sky. The spire of Paris’s famous Notre Dame cathedral has already collapsed earlier this evening

A man holds his hands on his head in despair as the smoke billows from the cathedral this evening as firefighers desperately battle the blaze

People kneel on the pavement as they pray outside watching the flames engulf Notre Dame Cathedral this evening

A woman with tears in her eyes clasps her hands in front of her as she watches the flames spread over the cathedral, and a man puts his head in his hands in despair

Parisians and toursits look on in utter shock as the flames engulf the historic cathedral, which is visited by millions every year

A woman reacts with shock as she watches the flames engulf the roof of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris this evening

Firefighters using hoses from all four sides of Notre Dame to try and douse the flames which tore through the building at a startling pace

Firefighters look on at the fire fire at the landmark Notre Dame Cathedral in central Paris as they cross a bridge over the river Seine

Parisians gather on the River Seine this evening to look at the flames spreading throughout the cathedral. The blaze started in the late afternoon

Crowds look at the flames as they engulf the building on Monday evening.  Paris Archbishop Michel Aupetit invited priests across France to ring church bells in a call for prayers for the beloved Paris cathedral

French fire crews check the hoses in the streets of Paris on Monday evening. As the cathedral continued to burn, Parisians gathered to pray and sing hymns outside the church of Saint Julien Les Pauvres across the river from Notre Dame, as the flames lit the sky behind them

People sit and look in disbelief as the roof of the Notre Dame Cathedral burns on Monday afternoon and into the evening

Sparks fill the Paris air on Monday evening as fire crews spray water to try and stop the blaze. The Louvre Museum has described the fire as ‘a tragedy for World Heritage’. A comment on the art museum’s official Twitter account said: ‘The fire which has struck Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is a tragedy for World Heritage. ‘The Louvre expresses its deepest admiration and solidarity with those who are currently battling the flames’

The flames and smoke engulf the historic gothic building on Monday afternoon. Parisians prayed and cried as they watched it burn

French fire crew gather on the parvis in front door of the Notre Dame Cathedral on Monday evening as flames are burning its roof in Paris

Officials say the blaze could be linked to renovation works as the spire has been undergoing a $6.8million renovation this year

The blaze could be seen from across Paris on Monday night as officials in the city said a major operation was in place to put it out

Earlier on Monday evening small amounts of smoke were spotted above the landmark as the fire took hold

Earlier on Monday evening small amounts of smoke were spotted above the landmark as the fire took hold

Earlier on Monday evening small amounts of smoke were spotted above the landmark as the fire took hold

Our Lady of Paris: The 850-year-old cathedral that survived being sacked in the Revolution to become Europe’s most-visited historical monument

Intrigued by tales of Quasimodo, fascinated by the gargoyles, or on a pilgrimage to see the Crown of Thorns said to have rested on Jesus’ head on the Cross, more than 13 million people each year flock to see Europe’s most popular historic monument.

The 12th century Catholic cathedral is a masterpiece of French Gothic design, with a cavernous vaulted ceiling and some of the largest rose windows on the continent.

It is the seat of the Archdiocese of Paris and its 69m-tall towers were the tallest structures in Paris until the completion of the Eiffel Tower in 1889.

It survived a partial sacking by 16th century zealots and the destruction of many of its treasures during the atheist French Revolution but remains one of the greatest churches in the world and was the scene of Emperor Napoleon’s coronation in 1804. 

A view of the middle-age stained glass rosace on the southern side of the Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral

The foundation stone was laid in front of Pope Alexander III in 1163, with building work on the initial structure completed in 1260. 

The roof of the nave was constructed with a new technology: the rib vault. The roof of the nave was supported by crossed ribs which divided each vault into compartments, and the use of four-part rather than six-part rib vaults meant the roofs were stronger and could be higher.

After the original structure was completed in the mid 13th century – following the consecration of the High altar in 1182 – flying  buttresses had been invented, and were added to spread the weight of the mighty vault.

The original spire was constructed in the 13th century, probably between 1220 and 1230. It was battered, weakened and bent by the wind over five centuries, and finally was removed in 1786. 

During a 19th century restoration, following desecration during the Revolution, it was recreated with a new version of oak covered with lead. The entire spire weighed 750 tons. 

At the summit of the spire were held three relics; a tiny piece of the Crown of Thorns, located in the treasury of the Cathedral; and relics of Denis and Saint Genevieve, patron saints of Paris. They were placed there in 1935 by the Archibishop Verdier, to protect the congregation from lightning or other harm.

The Crown of Thorns was one of the great relics of medieval Christianity. It was acquired by Louis IX, king of France, in Constantinople in AD 1239 for the price of 135,000 livres – nearly half the annual expenditure of France. 

The elaborate reliquary in which just one of the thorns is housed sits in the Cathedral having been moved from the Saint-Chappelle church in Paris. The thorn is mounted on a large sapphire in the centre.

The crown itself is also held in the cathedral, and is usually on view to the public on Good Friday – which comes at the end of this week.

Notre-Dame de Paris is home to the relic accepted by Catholics the world over cathedral. The holy crown of thorns worn by Jesus Christ during the Passion

During the 1790s with the country in the grip of atheist Revolution the cathedral was desecrated and much of its religious iconography destroyed. It was rededicated to the Cult of Reason and 28 statues of biblical kings – wrongly believed to by French monarchs – were beheaded. Even the great bells were nearly melted down.

Napoleon returned the cathedral to the Catholic Church and was crowned Emperor there in 1804, but by the middle of the 19th century much of the iconic building.

It wasn’t until the publication of Victor Hugo’s novel – The Hunchback of Notre Dame – in 1831 that public interest in the building resurfaced and repair works began. 

A major restoration project was launched in 1845 and took 25 years to be completed. 

Architects Jean-Baptiste-Antoine Lassus and Eugène Viollet-le-Duc won the commission. 

By 1944 the cathedral was to be damaged again and during the liberation of Paris, stray bullets caused minor damage to the medieval stained glass. 

This would be updated with modern designs. 

In 1963 France’s Culture Minister, André Malraux, ordered the cleaning of the facade of the cathedral, where 800 years worth of soot and grime were removed. 

Notre Dame has a crypt, called the Crypte archéologique de l’île de la Cité, where old architectural ruins are stored. They span from the times of the earliest settlement in Paris to present day. 

The cathedral has 10 bells, the heaviest bell – known as the boudon and weighing 13 tonnes – is called Emmanuel and has been rung to mark many historical events throughout time. 

At the end of the First and Second World Wars the bell was rung to mark the end of the conflicts. 

It is also rung to signify poignant events such as French heads of state dying or following horrific events such as the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers in New York in 2001.  

The three stained glass rose windows are the most famous features of the cathedral. They were created in the Gothic style between 1225 and 1270. 

While most of the original glass is long gone, some remains in the south rose which dates back to the last quarter of the 12th century. 

The rest of the windows were restored in the 18th century. 

The south rose is made up of 94 medallions which are arranged in four concentric circles. 

They portray scenes from the life of Christ and those who knew him – with the inner circle showing the 12 apostles in it 12 medallions. 

During the French Revolution rioters set fire to the residence of the archbishop, which was around the side of the cathedral, and the south rose was damaged. 

One of the cathedral’s first organs was built in 1403 by Friedrich Schambantz but was replaced in the 18th century before being remade using the pipe work from former instruments.

The Cathedral is also home to a Catholic relic said to be a single thorn from the crown of thorns worn by Jesus on the cross.

  ‘It’s burning to the ground’: Trump tweets about massive fire as Notre Dame goes up in flames and suggests use of airborne water tankers – then questions the renovation work at the iconic cathedral

President Donald Trump tweeted about the massive fire engulfing Notre Dame Monday, suggesting the use of flying water tankers to douse the flames – then appeared to criticize renovation work that may have caused it.

Trump tweeted from aboard Air Force One en route to Minnesota, while viewers around the world were watching the iconic cathedral’s in flames.

‘So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!’ Trump wrote while en route to Minnesota for an event about taxes.

Later, at his Tax Day event, Trump told a crowd about the ‘terrible, terrible fire.’

‘The fire that they’re having at the Notre Dame Cathedral is something like few people have witnessed,’ the president said.

President Donald Trump tweeted about the fire at Notre Dame Monday

The president suggested the use of airborne tankers

‘When we left the plane, it was burning at a level that you rarely see a fire burn. It’s one of the great treasures of the world,’ Trump continued.

‘It’s one of the great treasures in the world. The greatest artists in the world. Probably if you think about it … it might be greater almost than any museum in the world and it’s burning very badly. Looks like It’s burning to the ground,’ the president added, as firefighters struggled to contain the blaze.

Trump said he had a ‘communication’ with France but did not specify if he spoke to French authorities.

‘That puts a damper on what we’re about to say to be honest,’ Trump told his audience in Minnesota. ‘Because that is beyond countries. That’s beyond anything. That’s a part of our growing up it’s a part of our culture, it’s a part of our lives. That’s a truly great cathedral. And I’ve been there and I’ve seen it … There’s probably no cathedral in the world like it,’ Trump said.

‘They think it was caused by renovation. And I hope that’s the reason,’ Trump continued. Renovation. What’s that all about?’ Trump said. Then he called it a ‘terrible sight to behold.’

‘With that being said, I want to tell you that a lot of progress has been made by our country in the last two and a half years, ‘ Trump said, segueing into his tax event. ‘Hard to believe we’re already starting to think about our next election.’

Great buildings ravaged by fire: From Windsor Castle to York Minster

The Windsor Castle fire of November 1992 

A fire broke out at Windsor Castle on November 20, 1992, which caused extensive damage to the royal residence.

The Berkshire blaze started at 11am in Queen Victoria’s Private Chapel after a faulty spotlight ignited a curtain next to the altar.

Within minutes the blaze had spread to St George’s Hall next door, and the fire would go on to destroy 115 rooms, including nine State Rooms.

Three hours after the blaze was first spotted 225 firemen from seven counties were battling the fire, using 36 pumps to discharge 1.5million gallons of water at the inferno’s peak.

The fire break at the other end of St George’s Hall remained unbreached, so the Royal Library was fortunately left undamaged.

A fire broke out at Windsor Castle on November 20, 1992, which caused extensive damage to the royal residence

Staff worked to remove works of art from the Royal Collection from the path of the fire.

According to the Royal Collection Trust: ‘The Castle’s Quadrangle was full of some of the finest examples of French 18th-century furniture, paintings by Van Dyck, Rubens and Gainsborough, Sèvres porcelain and other treasures of the Collection.

‘Amazingly, only two works of art were lost in the fire – a rosewood sideboard and a very large painting by Sir William Beechey that couldn’t be taken down from the wall in time. Luckily works of art had already been removed from many rooms in advance of rewiring work.’

The Duke of York had said he he heard the fire alarm and roughly two or three minutes later he saw the smoke after leaving the room he was in, according to contemporary reports.

Prince Andrew had joined a group removing valuable works of art from the castle to save them from destruction.

The York Minster fire of 1984 

Pictured: Aftermath of the York Minster fire of July 9, 1984

Early in the morning of July 9, 1984, York Minster’s south transept was set ablaze, destroying the roof and causing £2.25million worth of damage.

More than 100 firefighters confronted the church fire, taking two hours to bring it to heel.

The cause of the fire is believed to have been a lightning bolt that struck the cathedral shortly after midnight. 

The blaze seriously damaged the cathedral’s stonework, along with its famous Rose Window, and firefighters were left tackling embers on the floor after the roof collapsed at 4am.

Minster staff and clergy busied themselves saving as many artefacts as possible before the fire was finally brought under control at around 5.24am. 

An investigation ruled out an electrical or gas fault, and arson was discounted due to roof’s inaccessibility. Tests had found that the blaze was ‘almost certainly’ caused by a lightning strike but much of the evidence was destroyed in the fire.

The building was restored in 1988 after masonry teams re-carved stonework above the building’s rose window and arches.

It was reported that the rose window, designed to celebrate the marriage of King Henry VII and Elizabeth of York, reached a temperature of 842F during the incident, cracking the glass in several places before it was restored. 

It was not the first time the building had caught ablaze.

In the early hours of February 1, 1829, Jonathan Martin set the building on fire, melting the lead from the roof and cracking the building’s limestone pillars.

Late that afternoon the fire started dying out after roughly 230 feet of choir roof had collapsed.

Non-conformist Martin, a former sailor from Northumberland, did not believe in formal liturgy, had published pamphlets condemning the clergy as ‘vipers of Hell’.

He was charged with setting the building on fire, but was found not guilty due to insanity, and died in a London asylum in 1838.

Pictured: The roof of the South Transept of York Minster ablaze at the height of the fire. Minster staff and clergy busied themselves saving as many artefacts as possible before the fire was finally brought under control at around 5.24am

The Great Fire of London 

St Paul’s Cathedral (pictured now) caught fire, with the lead roof melting and pouring into the street ‘like a river’ as the building collapsed

On September 2, 1666, a fire broke out Thomas Farriner’s bakery in Pudding Lane, close to London Bridge. The summer of 1666 had been unusually hot, and the city had not seen rain for several weeks, leaving wooden houses and buildings tinder dry.

Once the fire had taken hold, 300 houses quickly collapsed and strong east winds fanned the flames from house to house, sweeping the blaze through London’s winding narrow lanes, with houses positioned close together.

In an attempt to flee the fire by boat, Londoners poured down to the River Thames and the city was overtaken by chaos.

There was no fire brigade in London at the time, so residents themselves had to fight the fire with the help of local soldiers.

They used buckets of water, water squirts and fire hooks, pulling down houses with hooks to make gaps or ‘fire breaks’, but the wind helped fan the fire across the created gaps.

King Charles II had ordered that houses in the path of the fire should be pulled down – but the fire outstripped the hooked poles that were used to try and achieve this.

By September 4 half of London had been overtaken by the blaze, and King Charles himself joined firefighters, handing them buckets of water in a desperate attempt to bring the blaze under control.

Gunpowder was deployed to blow up houses that lay in the path’s fire, but the sound of explosions triggered rumours of a French invasion, heightening the city’s panic.

St Paul’s Cathedral caught fire, with the lead roof melting and pouring into the street ‘like a river’ as the cathedral collapsed.

The fire was eventually brought under control and extinguished by September 6, leaving just one fifth of London untouched.

Almost every civic building had been destroyed, along with 13,000 private homes, 87 parish churches, The Royal Exchange, and Guildhall.

Roughly 350,000 people lived in London just before the Great Fire, making the city one of the largest in Europe.

A monument was erected in Pudding Lane, where the blaze broke out.

By September 4 half of London had been overtaken by the blaze, and King Charles himself joined firefighters, handing them buckets of water in a desperate attempt to bring the blaze under control (pictured: An illustration from 1834)

The Great Fire of Rome , 64AD

The Great Fire of Rome, during the reign of Emperor Nero in 64AD, destroyed much of the city after the blaze began in the slums south of the aristocratic Palatine Hill.

Strong winds fanned the fire north, scorching homes in its path, causing widespread panic during the inferno’s three-day duration.

Hundreds died in the conflagration, and thousands were left homeless. Three of the 14 districts were completely destroyed, and only four remained completely untouched.

That Emperor Nero ‘fiddled while the city burned’ has become popular legend, but is not accurate. The Emperor was 35 miles away in Antium when the fire broke out and allowed his palace to be used as a shelter. And the fiddle had not yet been invented.

Nero, who used the fire as an opportunity to rebuild the city in a more Greek style, blamed Christians for the fire, ordering the arrest, torture and execution of hundreds of the religion’s faithful.

Historian Tacitus said the fire was ‘graver and more terrible than any other which had befallen this city.’

‘Art and history destroyed before our eyes’: Witnesses share their horror as the Notre Dame Cathedral is engulfed in flames

Notre Dame Cathedral went up in flames on Monday in a roaring blaze that devastated the Parisian landmark, leaving the city, France, and the international community distraught. 

Flames that began in the early evening burst through the roof of the centuries-old cathedral and engulfed the spire, which collapsed, quickly followed by the entire roof.

While a huge plume of smoke wafted across the city and ash fell over a large area, Parisians and tourists watched on, as others took to social media to express their sorrow.

‘Centuries of art and history destroyed before our eyes. This building has stood since the Middle Ages. This is absolutely devastating,’ one Twitter user wrote.

Later in the evening, those in the city gathered together to say prayers and sing hymns in front of the nearby Saint Julien Les Pauvres church as the massive blaze continued only a few hundred meters away.

Onlookers stand on a bridge as the stare in shock at the smoke and flames rising through the landmark in Paris

Many were quietly singing an Ave Maria in Latin, including Stephane Seigneurie, 52, who said he has lived in Paris for the past 25 years.

‘I come often, and go in even where there’s no mass because it’s an extraordinary place, entwined in the history of France,’ he said. ‘Politically, intellectually and spiritually, it’s a symbol of France.’

Archbishop of Paris Michel Aupetit has invited priests across France to ring the bells of their churches in a call for prayers for Notre Dame.

‘Paris is disfigured. The city will never be like it was before,’ said Philippe, a communications worker in his mid-30s, who had biked over to the scene after being alerted of the fire by a friend.

‘I’m a Parisian, my father was a Parisian, my grandfather as well – this was something we brought our sons to see,’ he said. ‘I won’t be showing this to my son.’ 

‘It’s a tragedy,’ he added. ‘If you pray, now is the time to pray.’ 

‘Basically the whole rooftop is gone. I see no hope for the building,’ said witness Jacek Poltorak, watching the fire from a fifth-floor balcony two blocks from the southern facade of the cathedral, one of France’s most visited places.  

People sit and watch as the flames blaze through the landmark building in Paris, France

A woman talks on the phone and begins to cry as she watches the flames rip through the roof

‘Notre Dame is perhaps one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever set foot in, and watching it burn down is absolutely soul crushing,’ read one Twitter post. 

‘Terrible seeing the Notre Dame in flames. Art and history turned to ashes. So glad no one has been hurt. Paris we are with you and will be there to see it restored. Shocking news,’ another social media user said. 

Others described the tragedy of never being able to see the Notre Dame as it was before the blaze.

‘Sad I’ll never get to see Notre Dame,’ one Twitter user wrote. ‘It’s on my bucket list and now one of the historic landmarks is just gone! Thoughts go out to France’. 

‘It’s finished, we’ll never be able to see it again,’ said Jerome Fautrey, a 37-year-old who had come to watch. 

Buildings around were evacuated and nobody was injured, junior interior minister Laurent Nunez said at the scene, adding: ‘It’s too early to determine the causes of the fire.’ 

France 2 television reported that police were treating it as an accident. 

‘Everything is collapsing,’ a police officer near the scene said as the entire roof of the cathedral continued to burn.   

‘Like all our compatriots, I am sad this evening to see this part of all of us burn,’ President Emmanuel Macron tweeted. 

‘There are a lot of art works inside…it’s a real tragedy,’ Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo said at the scene.  

Crowds of stunned Parisians and tourists – some crying, others offering prayers – watched in horror in central Paris on Monday night as firefighters struggled for hours to extinguish the flames engulfing the Notre Dame Cathedral

Questions for Paris fire brigade as Notre Dame inferno burns out of control for hours

Authorities have revealed they are unable to drop water on to Notre Dame to tame the blaze for fear it will ruin what is left of the 850-year-old cathedral as well as injuring people nearby.

The tactic was suggested by US President Donald Trump on Twitter but it hasn’t been deployed because of the risks it could pose not only to the historic building but to any people nearby.

The French Interior Ministry tweeted to say that 400 firefighters have been mobilised to help tackle the blaze that is engulfing the cathedral.

The French Interior Ministry has tweeted to say 400 firefighters have been mobilised to help tackle the blaze

In cases of intense fires, a water bomber jet – called a Canadair – can be deployed to drop large amounts of water.

Hundreds of comments have flooded in on the Pompiers du Paris Twitter page in support of the brave firefighters risking their lives to save Notre Dame.

French news site Le Monde, explains: ‘A Canadair projects about six tonnes of water at high speed to the ground.

‘The danger is significant of hurting one or more people around the building – which is why Canadair interventions are so infrequent in urban and peri-urban areas.

‘Such an intervention could also significantly destroy the little remaining structure of the cathedral.’

The French Interior Ministry have mobilised 400 firefighters to help tackle the blazing inferno which has been burning for

If an accident happens while a Canadair is being used, the pilot may also face criminal charges.

Canadairs were used earlier this year in March when France experienced intense wildfires near Valdeblore in the Alpes-Maritimes.

They were also used in 2017 when France experienced intense wildfires that forced 10,000 people to evacuate their homes and campsites overnight.

The French Interior Ministry has mobilised 400 firefighters to help tackle the inferno that has been burning for hours 

French news site Le Monde, explains: ‘A Canadair projects about six tonnes of water at high speed to the ground’. Stock picture of a Canadair 

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[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 14 Review: The Lady Doth Detest Too Much

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

Another day has almost passed. Another day and another entry in this death diary. Oh Erica, my darling, still there is no way that you have come back to me.

Having grown bored(?) of recording his tape journal, Jean Paul has switched to writing a more traditional diary instead, which he stores in the crypt. I prefer the tape diary: Jean Paul’s tape recorder is retro and says “I am a wealthy eccentric” in a way that a store-bought blank book does not.

Alison comes to visit Jean Paul in the crypt and be a Debbie Downer, insisting that there is and will never be a way to revive Erica. If this were real life, she would probably be right--most scientists do not believe it possible to resurrect a cryogenically-preserved corpse--but this is Strange Paradise, a show with living and undead characters who are over 300 years old, portraits that appear and disappear at will, and a villain whose cause of death was a voodoo doll. Alison herself has called the island “evil” in previous episodes and blamed Jacques for her distress there, so she has no reason not to believe in the slight chance of Erica’s resurrection. I think that her disbelief is just wishful thinking, since, despite a few other glaring flaws (namely, the “on this island I am God” thing, a short temper, and a tendency to occasionally use too much self-tanner), he is a highly desirable catch. And, based on her reaction to her dream about Jacques, she desires him, too.

And now for Flaw #4: he’s passive-aggressive. Jean Paul, you know very well what she was implying, and it was *not* that you should commit suicide. She wants you to live, and for you to love her.

She tells Jean Paul, “you’re too young...to let Erica’s loss of life completely destroy yours,” and he responds, “Without her, I have no life.” I do think that he should take the advice that Jacques gave him episodes earlier and sleep with Alison--once they both get past the whole in-law thing, that is.

She enters the Great Hall and approaches Jacques’ portrait. “Why am I drawn to you, Jacques Eloi des Mondes?” she asks. “Or am I drawn to the man who resembles you so?” The portrait vanishes, she freaks out again over her crush on her brother-in-law, and, a moment later, Jacques enters through a doorway other than the one that leads to the crypt. (How exactly is Maljardin laid out? I thought the doors on stage right led outside, while the upstage ones led to the crypt.) Jacques comments about her being a “secret admirer” of him, and she denies it:

Alison: "Come now, Jean Paul! Just because I happen to find the picture magnetizing, that's not to say I would find the man." 

Jacques: "Perhaps he would have been even more captivating in the flesh."

Alison: "With his reputation? Raxl says he was a murderer!"  

Jacques: "History says he was a lover."

Alison: “A strange combination.”

Jacques: “Strange man. Attractive, repulsive, add it up. It’s almost like looking into a mirror.”

Yum!

Alison gets some dialogue paraphrased from earlier episodes about how Jean Paul acts like two different men, which Jacques handwaves: “I would be a poor imitation of a man to be dispensing sorrow and gloom all the time,” he says. “We have to have a little happiness to pop into our lives.” He pours some booze from the decanter and offers it to Alison, who refuses because she has a brain and that brain tells her that accepting drinks from unpredictable guys is a bad idea. So Jacques keeps the glass for himself and proceeds to gleefully poison Jean Paul’s liver.

“To a long stay on Maljardin,” he toasts.

Alison sighs. “Seems I have no choice about that.”

“No, Alison. You are completely the mistress of your own fate.”

“You said that you won’t allow me to leave!” she protests.

“Well, it’s simply because you’re a physician. Due to the unfortunate demise of Dr. Menkin,”--he makes a certain fake-innocent face as though he thinks that will make her not suspect him of murder--”I need you to advise and assist for Erica’s sake.”

She’s not buying it.

After some more recap, Alison remarks again about the changes in Jean Paul’s demeanor: “When I first met you and Erica first introduced us, your life was dedicated to spreading joy. Now you seem dedicated to just the opposite.”

I don’t know what this silly acting face is supposed to signify. That the buzz from his liquor just kicked in, maybe? That he’s fantasizing about shagging Alison on the couch in full view of Raxl? I’m going to guess both.

After the commercial break, Jacques passes in front of the camera specifically so we can see his ring. (Why did the directors and/or writer think that the audience needed to be constantly reminded when he's controlling Jean Paul?) “Alison, I have a secret which must remain a secret, and the people who are here all could possibly reveal it,” he explains.

“So, we’re all prisoners?” she asks. “Holly, Elizabeth, Tim Stanton?”

“And whoever else comes to this island. But ‘prisoners’ is such a harsh word, Alison, now. Actually, I prefer the technology ‘detained guests.’“

I love this line, probably because the "blackmail is such an ugly word" trope always amuses me. (Some other people call it a cliché, but "cliché" is too harsh a word. I prefer "trope," and not a discredited one, either.) Also, a line flub (which is perhaps also too harsh--I prefer "creative line interpretation"). I had to listen to it twice to determine whether it was really a line flub creative line interpretation or just YouTube misunderstanding Jacques’ Mid-Atlantic accent again (since obviously he means "terminology"), but he definitely says "technology."

So she, the Marshalls, and Tim are “detained guests,” whom Jacques is keeping there as a “precaution” until Erica is resurrected. She’s not convinced. His flimsy justification of his behavior complete, he re-focuses his energy on trying to seduce Alison, but she won’t have it. “I find you and everything you’ve done distasteful and revolting,” she insists, and he responds with the title of this review:

He’s making the same face as earlier, only it actually makes sense this time. Maybe the buzzed expression was actually supposed to be an evil smirk?

Oh, but just before that, he makes Bissits Face™. Lots of silly acting faces in this one!

Jacques starts talking about a doctor in Copenhagen who specialized in organ transplants, making me wonder how the hell Jacques knows about that. Are we missing part of the conversation during his meeting with the Cryonics Society in Episode 4 where Dr. Patton or one of his assistants told him about it? Did he read about it, perhaps while possessing Jean Paul? Did he spy on Jean Paul reading something about it? Or does he know because he’s supposedly the Devil and therefore knows everything? That would also explain how Jacques knows phrases like “jack you up by the bootstraps”* and why he references other modern things like merry-go-rounds** in later episodes. But wasn’t he trapped in his grave on Maljardin, unable to re-enter the world of the living until Jean Paul removed the silver pin from the conjure doll’s head? When he was trapped and presumably stuck in Hell, how did he learn about technological advances in the world above? So many unanswered questions and plot holes. I think I’ve spent way too much time analyzing this show.

Cut to a filler/recap scene with Matt and Vangie where he confirms what everyone surely already suspects about him:

He’s gone from full-time minister and part-time stalker to full-time stalker.

Meanwhile, Jacques has hijacked (hi-Jacqued?) Jean Paul’s tape journal and records a threatening message for him in a deliciously menacing voice:

Jacques: "Now hear this, Jean Paul. The next time you record your little message for your sweet darling Erica, you will make sure if you ever hope to see her again or that she will ever hear this message again that you do as I bid--which means with me in possession of your soul, you'll see to it that your guests follow my every request. And for you, that is a command!"

Back at the French Leave Café, Vangie tells Matt that, as a minister, he needs to travel to Maljardin “where [he] will eventually be” to fight the evil there. I forgot until I re-watched this episode that she said she was related to Raxl, which I’ll note in this entry because it only comes up once (that I remember). She also makes the baffling claim that Jacques is the Antichrist, which doesn’t make any sense. The plot of this show, both up until this point and after, has nothing to do with the Book of Revelation beyond both involving the Devil. I’m guessing that is another creative line interpretation and the actual line from the script is “the Devil walks on that island.”

I love her blouse. So much ruffly goodness!

She gives him a deck of tarot cards to take to Raxl, and he expresses some apprehension since he still considers Vangie’s divination witchcraft. Nevertheless, he reluctantly agrees, mostly because Holly is there and he claims he genuinely wants to help her. Perhaps he does genuinely care about her, but he will always be Reverend Stalker to me.

Meanwhile, back on Maljardin...

ROFL

Jacques lights a fire because it’s not hot enough for him on Maljardin and things need to be much hotter Oh, wait, it’s actually Jean Paul lighting the fire to “help cheer up the room a little bit.” Never mind. Maybe they should have included some in-your-face THIS IS JEAN PAUL shots to go with their THIS IS JACQUES ones. But it doesn’t matter. He isn’t wearing the ring anymore and he’s back to talking like Jean Paul and making normal facial expressions again. “You’ve changed again!” Alison exclaims. “He is possessing you! If I believed in witchcraft, I would believe Raxl.” It sounds like you already believe, Alison, but aren’t willing to admit it.

Jean Paul apologizes to her for imprisoning her and making her put up with all Raxl’s shouting about the Devil. She, however, says that she “no longer consider[s] [her]self a prisoner” and plans to stay, because she is concerned about him and his well-being, especially when Jacques possesses him. The next exchange is quite sweet, so I will transcribe the dialogue:

Jean Paul: “Perhaps things now will be different. You know, for the first time since Erica’s death, I feel almost like a human being. I think I can even sleep now.”

Alison: “Just because I’ve said that I will stay here on Maljardin for a while?”

Jean Paul: “No. Because of what it means: that I’ll have a companion again.”

Awwww.

He leaves to go record a message on his tape recorder journal: Alison will stay, my darling. She said for a while, but her stay will be extended again and again as long as her presence lends even the tiniest margin of safety for you. Well, there’s many other things, too, about Alison: the fact that she volunteered...

*outro drums and flute*

During his recording, the ending theme cuts him off and we don't get to hear the rest of his message. WTF? I swear, the writers (especially in the last four weeks of the Maljardin arc) sometimes act like they hate the Jean Paul/Alison pairing.

Overall, a genuinely good episode. Not one of the most exciting, but still a nice one with some important character development for both Alison and Jean Paul. I just wish they wouldn’t have cut off his speech at the end.

I probably won’t be posting another review later this week unless I get really eager to write about the next episode. It’s another important one, featuring the elusive Conjure Man who so far has only been alluded to, and there’s some stuff in it that I find interesting. But I’ve been re-watching early Desmond Hall and privately taking the piss out of things like Ron Sproat’s blatant self-plagiarism and pretty much everything to do with Cort, so I’ve been a little distracted. I’ll see you sometime next week--probably.

Notes

* “Jack up” in the metaphorical sense dates from 1904, while “pull oneself up by the bootstraps” dates from just seventy years earlier and may have been loosely inspired by a legend about the Baron von Münchhausen. A man from the 17th century would not be familiar with either phrase.

** In the 16th and 17th centuries, the term carrousel already existed, but it referred to a kind of horse ballet and not to a ride. The ride gets its name from the carrousel.

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