#Whitney is a good father agenda

[heyheydidjaknow]

I haven’t played this stupid game in 6 months. This is a sequel to Prospects, this time featuring Bailey.

Agreement

The envelope shook in your hand. “This should suffice.”

Bailey took it from you, not bothering to meet your eyes as she slit the top and took the slip inside. Whitney, dressed for the ride ahead— or fight; whatever came first— in his sweats and t-shirt, stood with his back to the door. Despite your assurance, he had insisted on sitting in on this final transaction as if the mountain of cash you had worked yourself ragged to obtain would not be enough to settle the score, as if your being there were not dependent solely on your value as a worker, as if Bailey— who now looked up at you over the check between her fingers and her half-rimmed glasses— would care beyond that if you were gone.

The ground swayed beneath your feet.

Bailey leaned back in her chair, gesturing to Whitney with the check. “This was your idea?”

You could not bring yourself to look back at him, but you could imagine his expression. It was the same as when you had when you had met Briar and Avery a few days before; cool, unflinching, as though you were an item at a pawn shop he was trying to get a good price on. You supposed you were, in a sense. “Yes.”

Bailey nodded slowly, taking in your figure, your stance. You squirmed under her gaze. “And the child’s yours, I take it?”

“Yes.”

She considered as much. “You know,” she mused, “your… what would the word be? Fucktoy?”

He scoffed. “For our purposes, property.”

“Oh, hardly.” She leaned her elbows on the desk, fingers lacing together under her chin. “Not officially at least, not until our terms are settled.”

“What terms are there to settle?” You picked at your cuticles, heart pounding in your throat. “Is that not how much—“

“That’s how much my best earner was worth before.” Her smile was sweet like cough syrup, sharp like whiskey. “I’m a businesswoman you understand; it would hardly make much sense for me to part with my greatest revenue stream for its raw material costs.”

You looked back at Whitney. He kept his eyes trained on the woman in front of you. “And how much would it take for you to part ways with your charge?”

She sighed in mock contemplation. “Oh, I don’t know.” She sucked her teeth. “Another fifty percent ought to do it.”

The words echoed in your ears. You swallowed back panic as you went back to staring at the floor.

“Fifty?” His sneer was audible. “The fuck you take me for?”

“Someone desperate.” She gestured to you. “Someone willing to take when they can get and leave.”

“A bitch, you mean.”

“So long as we’re being frank.”

“You—“

“Do you know how much that child is worth?” You shut your eyes as you felt her own take you in. “Do you know what sort of market you could appeal to with a matching set?”

You heard a rustling of cloth behind you. Whitney’s voice was as cheerful and bright as you had ever heard it. “So long as we’re considering the lives of people that matter,” he smiled, “I’m curious; how much is your life worth?”

There was a pause, a laugh from Bailey. “That bitch,” she sighed. “First that file—“

“This actually isn’t Laundry’s, surprisingly enough.” You heard the clinking of metal parts as he gestured to you. “Friend of a friend who lives in the country; I promised him the deed to this shithole if your position found itself empty.”

Despite yourself, you turned to face him. He held the pistol in his hand with the confidence of a man unfazed by its weight. In the back of your mind, you wondered if he would be tried if he went through with it, whether the cops would come or care or whether they would write it off as the result of one of Bailey’s “ungrateful brats”. You could not for the life of you decide which would be preferable.

“So,” he continued, finger twitching, eyes shining, “I think it best if we tried renegotiating terms.” He gestured to you. “Either you take the money and I take your cash cow off your hands—“ He steadied his aim, “— or I redecorate your office with your insides and you get to find out whether the contents of that envelope are worth shit in hell.”

You cast your gaze back towards her. Bailey looked between the two of you, lips pursed. “You’re more desperate than I thought.” She pushed her glasses up her nose and reached into her shirt pocket. “Let me give you some advice, kid.”

You shut your eyes again at the click of the safety. “Hands where I can see ‘em.”

She pulled out a carton of cigarettes, tapping one out and sticking it between her lips. “He isn’t a better person than I am, you know.” She took a lighter off her desk. “He’s not going to take better care of you than I am, isn’t going to wish you off to some fairy tale land where you’ll never know hardship; if anything, he’s going to fuck you over harder than I do.” She lit it, took a drag, smiled, exhaled.

“You fucking—“

“And you.” She pointed the cigarette at him. “Whitney, yeah? You think your life’s going to get better by being a father?” She leaned her head on her free hand. “I’ve been stuck with this job for thirty years now; the only thing that thing—“ she waved the cigarette in your belly’s general direction, “— is good for is an accessory to the walking ATM it’s stuck in.”

You could hear his voice shake; with what, you could not tell. “So help me God if you say one more thing about my fucking kid—“

“Let me say my piece.” She stood up, taking another drag and blowing it in your face. “If I were you,” she sighed, “I’d see if Harper couldn’t make an exception to get that thing out of you while it’s not breathing. Short of that, I’d ship it here.” She leaned forward, resting her hand on the surface of her desk. “But if I ever find your brat at my doorstep,” she promised, voice lowering, “if I ever see you or that thing here again, I’ll make your time here look like a stay at the Ritz-fucking-Carlton.” She stuck the cigarette back between her teeth, tilting your head up to look her in the eye. The resemblance between her and Whitney was apparent; you wondered if that was just what the eyes of monsters looked like. “I will make your child pay for however much you would have made me twofold, and I will sell their body— whole or piecemeal— to any dumb fuck who asks for what I’m sure will be a pretty young thing like them. Do you understand me?”

You could not breathe.

Her grip on your jaw tightened. “Are you deaf?” She brought you closer, and you whimpered at the sensation. “I asked you a question. Do you understand me or don’t you?”

You shut your eyes as her nails dug into your skin. You dug your own into your palm as you forced yourself to nod.

She kept you there a moment— for what, you did not know— before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your eyes shot open, and you swallowed back tears— of relief, of sadness, of panic— as she released you, collapsing to your knees and gasping for air. “Good.” She took the check, slipping it into her pocket before sitting back down. “Leave before I change my mind.”

You pulled yourself to your feet, practically tripping over yourself to cling to Whitney. He glanced down at you, letting you bury your face into his shoulder as he took one last look at your former guardian. Wordlessly, he pulled the two of you out into the hallway, past the children gathered by the door, past the garden and Robin and the stairs and the threshold and finally, with a smile of untempered relief and satisfaction, across the street, into the truck parked there, and away from that miserable town, and as you watched the buildings you had come to know as parts of your home flew past, as you watched people you recognized from school rush into the forest and students— like you, you registered vaguely, desperate for money, for purpose, for anything— lean against street corners, you wondered if this would be any better, if this was more desirable, if this was emancipation or a different, crueler kind of ownership.

You mumbled a goodbye to the bus stop as it passed. Only then did the tears really start.

[storiesforallfandoms]

we’ll be okay ~ machine gun kelly

part one   part two   part three   part four   part five   part six   part seven

word count: 1681

request?: no

description: after keeping your friendship and relationship a secret for months, it’s time to come clean to your dad that you’re dating his enemy

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angst...i guess?

masterlist

Colson watched as you quickly threw your things into your suitcase. You still hadn’t tried to book a last minute ticket back to Detroit, but you weren’t overly worried about that right now. All you could think about was Hailie’s message.

Your dad knew about you and Colson. He was going to be so mad, and you really weren’t ready to have your dad mad at you.

Colson stood and grabbed hold of your hand, pulling you away from your task for a moment. “Are you sure you have to leave? Pete will be here soon, we’re gonna start that road trip soon. I really want you to come.”

You really wanted to go, too. It sounded like a great get away, especially now. But you knew your heart wouldn’t be in to it if you went. You felt like you absolutely needed to get home now, to try and do some sort of damage control with this whole situation while it was still fresh.

“I wouldn’t be in a good headspace to go right now,” you told him. “And I don’t want to ruin your guys’ road trip. Go have a good time, I’ll see you again soon, okay?”

Colson sighed and pulled you into a hug. You didn’t know how much you had needed it until that moment. Your entire body had been tense ever since you received Hailie’s text, but feeling Colson’s arms around you, you relaxed into him.

“No matter what happens,” he whispered in your ear, “no matter what your dad says, no matter what happens with your family, just know I’ll be here for you. We’ll be alright, (Y/N).”

You had tears in your eyes. You blinked them away and buried your head in Colson’s chest. The whole situation made you want to cry, but having Colson helped you through it tremendously. Who would’ve thought that the guy that you met at the diner in Detroit who was cocky as fuck would mean so much to you only a few short months later?

Colson finally let you go, cupping your face and wiping the tears that were falling down your cheeks with his thumbs. “I’ll get you some last minute tickets back home. You finish packing, and if you want to come back here for any amount of time after you talk to your dad just let me know, okay? I’ll book you the first flight back to Cleveland and you can stay here as long as you want.”

You smiled. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

Colson smiled, too. “I’m even luckier to have you.”

~~~~~~

The next few hours passed by so slow. Colson managed to get you a ticket on a flight that was leaving four hours after he got the ticket, then the flight back to Detroit was nearly an hour long, then you had to wait for your bags and for a taxi to take to your dad’s. It felt like forever until you were finally pulling up outside of your dad’s gated house.

“You want me to drive you all the way up there?” the taxi driver asked you.

While you would’ve rathered to be driven up so that you could get this over with fast, you knew your dad wasn’t going to open the gate for some random taxi driver, and it would give you more time to think over what you were going to say before you had to face your dad.

“No, thank you,” you told him. “I’ll walk up.”

You paid the driver and got out. You hit the intercom on the gate and waited for the familiar voice of your dad to ask who was there.

“What the fuck do you want?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle a little. It was your dad’s usual response when people came to his house, even when it was one of his daughters.

“It’s me, dad. Can I come in?”

There was silence, and for a minute you were sure he was going to refuse you entrance to his house. You let out a sigh of relief when you heard the gate unlock with a buzz and the gate swung open. You took your time walking up the long driveway before finally coming to the front door. Instead of knocking, since he knew you were there anyways, you just walked in.

It didn’t take long to find your dad. He was standing by the door, waiting for you when you walked in. You tried to give him a small smile, but the look on his face made it hard to not burst into tears right then and there.

“I guess...we kind of need to talk,” you started.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he silently nodded and turned to walk into the living room. You felt your heart banging against your chest as you left your bag and your coat by the door and followed him.

You were both sat in silence for so long. Neither one of you knew where to start. You certainly didn’t want to start, but it seemed as though your father didn’t want to start either. You were both just trapped in an awkward silence, until your dad finally spoke.

“How long have you been seeing that cock sucker?”

“Dad!” you snapped.

“What else do you expect me to think of him, (Y/N)?” he questioned. “I could give less of a fuck that he’s out there parading around trying to rope me into a pointless beef with his shitty diss track, but the shit he was saying about your sister. Your underage sister, with zero remorse, and now I’m finding out that you’re dating him now?!”

Tears were forming in your eyes as he raised his voice at you. He had every reason to be upset, you wouldn’t deny him that. When you and Colson first started talking and becoming close, all these things crossed your mind many times. But he seemed genuinely sorry for what he said about Hailie, and he even admitted he’d stop all the beef bullshit just for you, although your dad didn’t know that.

“He’s different than what he portrays himself as in the media,” you explained,  your voice low. “He’s so sweet, and he really cares about me, and he told me he doesn’t want to fight with you if it means I’ll be between you both.”

Your dad sighed. “You have to understand why I’m upset though, (Y/N).”

“I do know,” you respond, “and I understand, and I knew this was how you were going to react. That’s why I kept it a secret for so long, because I was too afraid to tell you the truth.”

“But why him?! Out of all the guys in Detroit, all the guys in the world, why the hell would you choose Machine Gun fucking Kelly?!”

“Because dad, no other guy wants me for me, they only want me because I’m your goddamn daughter!”

You were both silent for a long time. It was the first time you had admitted that to your father, and watching him process this information made you regret letting it slip out.

“That’s...it can’t be every guy. Your sister - ”

“I’m not Hailie, dad,” you cut him off. “Hailie was a lot more social than I am, people genuinely liked her more than they liked me. I was the one that was easier to manipulate because I was so quiet and lonely. I wanted friends, real friends, and everyone that offered that real friendship I let them in so easily. By the time I had gotten to my sophomore year in high school, I completely shut everyone out except for Hailie and Alaina. Girls, guys, everyone, because they all wanted me just because I was Eminem’s daughter.”

Your dad leaned forward, running his hands through his hair. You sat back in your chair, looking down at your hands. You both fell back into the awkward silence.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” he asked. He sounded genuinely upset. It had been so long since you had heard your dad sound this way. So long you could barely remember the last time off the top of your head.

“I didn’t want you to worry about me,” you responded. “That’s all you ever do. You worry about me, and Hailie and Alaina and Whitney. You worry about how your fame affects us but it’s not your fault. You’ve done everything for us so that we had a normal childhood, a normal life, but sometimes there’s nothing else you can do to influence how other people act or how they’ll treat us. I found my own way to deal with it all, I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

Your dad nodded, but you knew it was mainly to himself. You could see the wheels turning in his head as he processed everything you had said to him.

“Colson’s different,” you continued. Your dad nearly flinched hearing Colson’s real name. “He likes me for me. He isn’t using me for any sort of agenda, or to get to you. He cares for me, and I know you’ll never exactly approve of him, but I want you to know that about him. He’s not as bad as you think he is, or how he’s portrayed in the media.”

“You really like him?” your dad asked. You nodded in response. When he stood, you followed. He wrapped you in a hug that caused the dam to break and your tears to start welling in your eyes. “If he makes you happy, I won’t get between the two of you. Just let him know that if he ever hurts you, a response track will be the least of his worries.”

You let out a chuckle that came out half laugh, half sob. “I will.”

He pulled away from the hug to look at you. “And please, don’t keep these things from me anymore. I thought we were tighter than this.”

You couldn’t help but laugh again. “I promise, dad. I’ll tell you everything from now on, I promise.”

This one was kinda shitty, sorry :/

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[donkillha]

Advice for people who have eating disorder especially during the quarantine

Managing a disorder is tough enough. But the present pandemic only exacerbates that struggle for anyone who features a difficult relationship with food—and that's an outsized percentage of the population. The Eating Disorders Coalition reports that a minimum of 30 million Americans have a disorder at some point during their lifetime. For anyone struggling, social isolation, stockpiling, and uncertainty can create triggers in their disorder recovery or management, causing them to backslide. We talked to therapists, nutritionists, and dietitians who have a background in these issues to urge practical advice on the way to manage a disorder during quarantine.

1.Set certainties with food during a time of uncertainty. A man-eating a healthy morning meal, breakfast reception Quarantining indoors may lead you to seek out that you simply have "additional time" during the day, which may be hard for those battling a disorder. this extra, unregulated time can cause them to fall back to unhealthy habits. Licensed psychotherapist Rebecca B. Skolnick, Ph.D., co-founder of MindWell NYC, recommends a myriad of structured food tips, like scheduling three meals and three snacks every day, and trying to place three to four hours between each meal or snack. For snacks, she says to "take out the quantity you're getting to have" and put it on a bowl or plate while putting the remainder of it away so you are not mindlessly eating a whole bag.

"Eat at a table if possible, not in your bed or couch. Make eating a proper event meaning that once you are eating, just eat. don't watch TV or work while you're eating," she says. "This may be a thanks to being mindful of the food you're eating and therefore the pace you're eating. and check out to eat for a minimum of quarter-hour once you sit right down to eat a meal." And for more ways to worry for yourself immediately, try these 15 Effective Self-Care Tips That Are Made for Quarantine.

2.Delay your impulse response for five minutes. Shot of a girl searching inside a refrigerator reception One of the primary steps you'll fancy curb impulse binging is to undertake to delay the response for just five minutes, says clinical coach and recovery consultant Mollie Birney, MA. Since human brains are filled with "deeply ingrained neuropathways" that lead people to commit common habits a day, people with eating disorders need to forge a "new path."

"Five minutes of a crossword, knitting, reading, playing that super-addictive game on your phone—any of those activities can help us forge new neuropathways by interrupting the one," she says. However, she reminds those struggling that "delaying the binge" isn't about avoiding it, because changing behavioral patterns is difficult, and you would possibly still want to binge after the five minutes are up. What's important is that "even if you are doing binge" after the five minutes, you've still started the "process of intervening on the habit pattern" and "creating an offramp from that neuropathway." And for guidance on staying healthy while social distancing, learn 17 psychological state Tips for Quarantine From Therapists.

3.Talk to the people around you. Mother and daughter enjoying their morning together The best thing you'll do for yourself when you're battling your food intake is to speak to the people around you, says licensed psychotherapist Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, who has quite 30 years of experience helping those with eating disorders. If you're quarantining with others, you'll ask them about ways you'll avoid emotional eating, from "what foods you purchase to creating sure you eat without distraction." If you're alone, set scheduled mealtimes with friends over video chat so you've got more accountability every day. And for more advice on being solo, inspect these 17 Things to try to by Yourself While You're Social Distancing.

4.Limit your social media exposure. Young man using mobile reception Not everything on social media is friendly consumption for people with eating disorders, especially now. With posts discussing the #Quarantine15 and other people joking about weight gain, it is often a very hard place for somebody who struggles with food, says certified disorder specialist Whitney Russell, founding father of Brave Haven Counseling. albeit many of us are spending longer on social media immediately, she recommends curtailing on your exposure time every day to avoid triggers.

5.Allow room for your favorite foods. Beautiful pregnant woman eating a frozen dessert Preventing yourself from eating the foods you want can do more damage than good. Erin Risius, LPC, director of behavioral health at Hilton Head Health, says this habitual pattern of forbidding yourself from eating your favorite foods can cause feelings of deprivation, which can heighten the "forbidden fruit" mentality—causing you to require to binge your favorites. Instead, she recommends incorporating your favorite foods into your overall eating plan with "intent and structure."

"If someone is eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's every day to require the sting of the strain of the day, rather than going cold turkey and pendulum swinging from one pint per day to zero—which results in feelings of deprivation—this person's strategy could also be to eat one mini-sized frozen dessert per day to start," she says. "The key here is to seek out the center ground with shifting behavior rather than fostering the all-or-nothing approach to managing emotional overeating."

6.Make a virtual appointment with knowledgeable. Handsome bearded employee holding agenda in hands, having a video call over a laptop, and sitting in the office late in the dark. Staying indoors doesn't suggest you've got to remain faraway from help. This difficult time may have you ever want to seek help in ways you normally won't have. ny City-based dietitian and private trainer Sara De Luca, RD, recommends making a virtual important with a therapist or registered dietitian to debate your "emotions and eating behaviors" during the coronavirus pandemic.

"Don't be afraid to invite help," she says. "Registered dietitians and therapists via telehealth services can assist you identify the basis explanation for the disorder while guiding your behaviors on the road to recovery while in quarantine."

7.Remember that nobody has it all at once immediately. Shot of a girl affected by depression in her bedroom The entire world is experiencing an uncertain and unprecedented time. do not feel like you are the just one who doesn't have it all at once right now—most people don't. Birney says to stay in mind that's normal, which it's an especially challenging time to switch your thoughts and behaviors.

"The most vital piece to recollect is that none of those techniques will fully eliminate the craving—they're not alleged to," says Birney. "If we use these skills expecting them to supply us instant relief we're sure to fail. The work isn't about eliminating the cravings, it's about working with them, making friends with them, and deciding the way to integrate them. Nothing is powerful enough to completely quiet those cravings, but with the courage to use a number of these skills, we will begin to shift our relationship to them."

[thundercaya]

An Accelerated Course of Study

James Madison almost didn’t survive the drive to New Jersey.

At least, that’s what he would say if anyone asked, but the only people on this trip with him were his father and his younger brother Frank, and they weren’t asking. Frank, in fact, was voicing all of the complaints that James was keeping to himself.

“If you’re serious about going into the army,” their father said, “you need to learn to endure long car rides.”

That quieted him down, at least for a few minutes.

Despite the long drive, James was the first one to arrive at his room. Once his things were brought up to his room, Frank and their father left for their hotel, promising to be back in the morning for breakfast before starting back for Virginia.

James enjoyed the solitude after spending so many hours--and quite frankly so many years--at close quarters with other people, but it didn’t last long. Soon another boy arrived--Joseph Ross according to the housing paperwork--accompanied by a woman who looked to be his mother. She was speaking a language that James wasn’t familiar with and paused only long enough to give James a quick hello. Once the other boy was settled, she embraced him and left. The boy then turned to James. “Hi,” he said, adjusting his glasses. “You must be James. I’m Joey. Nice to meet you.”

James stood up from his bed to shake his hand. Joey was taller than James, but honestly, who wasn’t? At least the difference wasn’t as large as it could have been. “Hi. So I guess this is it.”

“Guess it is,” Joey said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple fun size Butterfingers. “Want some candy?”

James recoiled. “Oh, I'm allergic to peanuts.”

“Shit,” Joey said dropping them into the trash bin next to his desk. “I'm sorry.”

“No, I--you don't have to throw them away. Just don't touch me or my stuff after you eat them.”

“Safer this way,” Joey said.

“Thanks,” James mumbled, embarrassed. He cleared his throat. “What’s that you were speaking with your mom?”

“Tagalog. She speaks English, too, but you know. It’s easier.”

“Yeah, I get it,” James said. “I know French, but I’d rather use English if I can.”

“Oh, right on,” Joey said, taking a seat on top of his desk.  “I was gonna take French, but I picked Spanish instead.”

“I actually took both, but my Spanish is really bad. I’m okay if I have time to prepare, but if I’m put on the spot, not so much. Like, if someone told me to speak it or die, I’d probably just die.”

Joey snickered. “Well, what if they said speak it or someone else dies?”

“I’d definitely give it my best. You know, unless it was someone I hated. I’d give my best for you.”

Joey grinned. “Is that so?”

“Uh, yeah. I couldn’t pay for this room by myself.”

Through the haze of sleep, Joey became aware of voices in the room. He couldn’t identify the first one, but then there was James saying; “shut up! He’s sleeping.”

The first voice again, saying; “I wish I were sleeping.”

The next voice was much deeper than the other. “Crack of dawn in the army, Frank.” Then the door closed and it was quiet again.

When Joey woke up, James was still out. He made himself a breakfast of cold Pop-Tarts, then went to buy his text books. James still wasn’t back when Joey returned.

There was a thud right outside the door that made Joey jump, then a moment later the door opened to reveal James with a stack of books on the floor in front of him. Well, that explained the thud. James picked the books up, then entered the room, dropping them again on his desk.

“Holy crap,” Joey said, eyeing the stack. “What classes are you taking that require that many books?”

James--apparently still catching his breath--didn’t answer, but instead handed Joey his course list.

“What the fuck, why are you taking so many classes?”

James dropped down onto his bed. “I don’t know. Because I can, I guess.”

“Are you sure you can though?” Joey asked, scanning the list again. “Everyone keeps telling me how much more outside work there is in college.”

“I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Well, you’re a better man than me,” Joey said. “I intend to enjoy myself.”

“Uh, yeah, me too,” James said. “There’s nothing I like better.”

“Damn, and here I was hoping you would party with me.”

“The only parties I’m interested in are political.”

Joey looked at the course list again, this time actually taking in the names rather than just the number of them. “Oh yeah. That is what you’re studying.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know,” Joey shrugged. “Just gonna feel things out for now.”

Thanks to his headphones, James didn’t hear Joey open the door, but he did notice the light coming in from the hallway. He glanced up from the mess on his desk and gave his roommate a quick wave. He set back to work, but only for a moment, pausing again when instead of traveling to his own side of the room, Joey took a seat on James’ bed. James paused his music and took off his head phones. “Yes?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m packing an emergency food kit.”

“What for?”

“Emergencies.”

“Of course. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Don’t worry, I’m making you one, too.”

“Because of the paying for the room thing?”

“Well, that and mine isn’t going to last very long if you start dipping into it.”

“Well, what’s in it?” Joey asked, stretching.

“Fruit snacks, granola bars, tuna and cracker snack packs, and Vienna sausages.”

“That is the exact same stuff we had in our emergency kits in elementary school.”

“It was good enough then, so it’s good enough now. Do you have more questions or can I put my music back on?”

Joey grinned in a way that made James regret his words, though he wasn’t sure why.

“What are you listening to?”

Oh, that was why.

“Nothing….”

“James, if I grab your CD player and open it to see what it is, you’ll lose your place in your song. Better just to tell me, don’t you think?”

James took a deep breath and exhaled laboriously before saying; “Nirvana.”

Joey laughed. “Oh, I should have known you liked that angsty shit, what with how many black shirts I saw in your closet.”

James huffed indignantly as blood rushed to heat up his face. “I like other stuff, too. And I was wearing red when I met you.”

“Okay, yeah, so you were. So what else do you listen to?”

“Uh, Gin Blossoms.”

“Angst with a side of alcohol.”

“I guess, but I also listen to, you know, Whitney Houston, and stuff like that.”

Joey grinned. “Mariah Carey?”

“Uh, yeah I guess. I like some songs. I don’t have any of her albums.”

“That is a grievous error that will have to be corrected.”

“Well, I just dropped most of my spending money on emergency food, so maybe some other time.”

Joey kicked off his shoes and laid down on James’ bed, earning him a disapproving glance, though James didn’t actually say anything. “And if there’s no emergency, won’t it have been a waste?”

“Uh, no. If they’re about to expire, we’ll eat them.”

Joey chuckled. “And here I thought you didn’t know how to party.”

A few weeks in and James was starting to regret his decision, though he would never say so. He hadn’t been lying when he said he preferred school work to what other people considered fun. Even if he had allowed himself any free time, he’d most likely be filling it with reading. Or maybe sleep. He was already falling behind on his sleep. Still, had had to persevere. He couldn’t let Joey see him backing down.

Joey, for his own part, didn’t spend much time in the room. He went to class, met up with friends, and also had a job on the weekends. He was getting ready for said job when he asked James what he thought of football.

“Waste of time,” James said, copying a line from a textbook into his notes. He frowned, then turned to Joey. “Sorry, do you play?”

“Oh, no” Joey said. “I tried playing sports, but I would always get out of breath.”

“Asthma?”

“No, not asthma. Anyway, I just thought you might want to visit me at work.”

“You work at football?” James asked, vaguely aware that he hadn’t put that sentence together correctly in his distracted state.

“No, I work at the stadium, at the concession stand. I thought maybe I could sell you a hot dog.”

“Well, I do like hot dogs.”

Joey smiled. “Well, that’s good. No reason to come to a football game just for a hot dog, though, so forget I said anything.”

“I would buy a hot dog from you if I thought I had time,” James said, “but unfortunately….” He gestured at the books littering his desk.

“Yeah, got it,” Joey said. “Maybe some other time.”

The door swung open.

“Guess. What!” Joey said, holding a paper bag in one arm.

“We won the game?” James tried.

“God, who even knows?” Joey asked, shutting the door then setting the bag down on his desk. “Who even cares? I have hot dogs.”

“You didn’t have to buy me hot dogs.”

“I didn’t,” Joey said. “Some of the hot dogs didn’t sell and they just gave them to us! And we had some bags of chips that expire today. They’re still good, but we can’t sell them anymore tomorrow, so they gave us those too!”

“You brought me left-over hot dogs and expiring chips?”

Joey frowned, the excitement draining right out of him. “Oh. I guess that does sound pretty unappealing. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” James said. “It sounds like my kind of meal.”

Joey grinned. “Oh, thank God.”

“One thing. It could use some chocolate.”

“Oh, no kidding. I tried to get some, but the only candy that was expiring were Snickers and peanut butter cups.”

“If I ever get the death penalty, that’s going to be my last meal.” James pulled open a drawer on his desk and pulled out two Hershey bars. “Anyway, I’ve always got chocolate, so it’s fine.” He tossed one to Joey.

“I think this is officially your first college party,” Joey said, tearing open the wrapper.

James didn’t know where the time had gone. He’d been working on an essay since Joey left for class that morning. He told himself he’d take a break when Joey returned, but apparently class hadn’t been the only thing on his agenda. It was dark before Joey returned and James was still copying quotes out of a book to sprinkle into his essay.

“Are you still working on that?” Joey asked, slinging an arm around James and resting his chin on James’ shoulder.

James shrugged him off. “I obviously am.”

Joey stood up straight, but placed a hand on each of James’s shoulders. “You seem tense. Have you had a break?”

“Uh-huh.” He could count bathroom breaks if he wanted to.

“Let’s pretend I believe you. Have you eaten?”

James shook his head. “It’s fine, though. I’ll eat later.”

“The dining hall closes in an hour.”

“We have Pop-Tarts,” James dismissed.

“No. No. You need real food.”

“I’m fine,” James insisted.

“No, you’re not.” Joey leaned against James’ shoulder and shoved. “Come on. James, come on. Come on, James. James. James. Come on!”

“Fine!” James said. “But I’m bringing my work.”

“I don’t know why you dragged me here,” James said, copying a few lines. “They don’t even have hot dogs.”

Joey didn’t respond to the joke and merely shook his head as James shook crumbs out of his book before turning the page.

“I didn’t think anyone could be as into school as my ex-boyfriend.”

James’ head shot up from his book and he quickly glanced from side to side.

“What?” Joey asked.

“Sorry,” James said, relaxing back into his seat. “For a second I forgot we weren’t in Virginia and I was checking if anyone was gonna come say something to you.”

“Oh! I mean, that still happens sometimes up here, but it must be hard to be gay in the south.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t-- I’m not-- It’s not me. It’s someone in my family. I think.”

“You think?”

“Maybe it’s just-- Well at what age do you know?”

Joey shrugged. “At what age do you start getting crushes?”

James huffed out a laugh. “I didn’t get any until I was twelve.”

“I got my first one at five.”

“Then I guess it’s possible.”

It sounded an awful lot like “I have this friend…,” but Joey didn’t push. If James didn’t want to tell him, that was his right, and if there really was a family member, Joey didn’t want to drive James into a corner where he felt the only way to prove himself would be to out that person, which he didn’t seem to want to do. Besides, he knew well enough by now that James could be plenty awkward even when telling the truth.

“Well, regardless,” Joey said, “if anyone does give me trouble, I can handle it. Good looking out, though. Thanks.”

James nodded. “Yeah. No problem.”

Finals week. That last treacherous stretch of wilderness before the return to civilization. Joey’s path was fairly clear, his load rather light in terms of both amount and difficulty. James, on the other hand, couldn’t hide that he’d overloaded himself. He wasn’t sure if he had the energy to make it to the end, having expended most of it getting this far. He needed to sleep. He almost couldn't be certain if his first final had happened or it he’d only dreamt it. He needed to sleep, but with so many more tests to go, he simply couldn’t.

James spent so long trying to get his key in the lock that Joey opened the door before he could finish.

“Hey man,” Joey said, brow knit. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” James muttered, stumbling into the room. “Thanks for getting the door.” He took a moment to stare longingly at his bed, then made his way to his desk instead. Even so, once he dropped into his seat, his head dropped down onto his pile of books. He was vaguely aware of the sound of the door closing, and the approach of Joey’s footsteps.

“Hey, you look like you could use some rest.”

“I’m resting right now,” James said.

“James, let me ask you something. How did your grades look going into finals?”

“Um, good I guess?”

“Like how good?”

“A’s, probably.”

“So let’s say you were to bomb your tests. You’d still pass right?”

“Passing’s, not the problem, Joey. I have my GPA to think about.”

“Yeah, but as long as you get through this semester, you can bring it up over the rest of your time here, when you have fewer courses at once.”

“Not gonna work that way,” James muttered. “I’m taking just as many classes next semester, too.”

Joey groaned. “James! Why would you do that?”

“If I can do it this time, I can do it next time too. Don’t worry, I’ll just sleep the whole break.”

Joey sighed. “All right, it’s your life.” He shook James gently. “Just take care of yourself, all right?”

James lifted his head off the desk, shook himself, then opened one of his text books. “Uh-huh. Will do.”

Since most of his things were already in his room, Joey didn’t need help bringing anything upstairs. He said goodbye to his mother at her car then made his way into the dorm building with only a duffle bag full of clean clothes. He opened the door to find James already settled in, face down on his bed, a stack of new books on his desk.

“Hey,” Joey said, setting down his bag in front of his closet. “How were your grades?”

“One B. The rest As.”

“Right on.” Joey left the bag for later and climbed onto the bed next to James. James groaned in annoyance, but he moved over to make room just the same. “Did you sleep the whole break?”

James sighed. “Tried to. Do you know how many siblings I have?”

“No, you never said.”

“Six. I mean, seven.”

Joey chuckled. “I guess I’d lose track if I had that many, too.”

“No, it’s not that,” James said. “Sometimes I forget to include baby Cat because she died.”

Joey’s smile faltered and he sat up. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”

James winced. “No, I’m sorry. This isn’t what you want to be talking about, just coming back from break.”

“Fuck that,” Joey said. “How long ago was this? Are you okay?”

“Like eleven years? It’s fine, really.” James cleared his throat. “Thanks, though.”

Joey coughed into his fist. “So six kids at the house? I can see how you wouldn’t get much rest.”

“It’s fine,” James said. “I figure I’ve got about a week before I’m swamped again.”

“It’s not too late to drop some of those classes,” Joey pointed out, laying back down.

“That’s quitter talk.”

James at least made time for regular meals this time around, mostly because his mother didn’t stop talking about how thin he was the entire time he’d been home. He’d assured her that of course he’d been eating, but he failed to tell her how much of that had consisted of Pop-Tarts and old hot dogs. While Joey was still more than happy to provide James with old hot dogs, he was also glad to have more opportunities to eat out with him.

“You know, I think I know what I want to major in,” Joey said.

James looked up from the textbook he was highlighting next to a plate of bacon. “Oh yeah? That’s good, then you can start specializing next year. What is it?”

“Nutritional science.”

James scoffed. “Please don’t tell me you were inspired by my eating habits.”

“All right,” Joey said, plucking an asparagus off of his own plate and taking a bite. “Then I won’t tell you.”

James picked up a piece of bacon and waved it at Joey. “Listen, I’ll eat better when it tastes better.”

“I feel you,” Joey said. “I really do. But you know, you could wrap one of these--” he pointed at his asparagus “--in one of these---” he pointed at the bacon “--and you’d have a pretty good compromise.”

James shook his head. “If God wanted me to eat a plant, he shouldn't have made me allergic to peanuts.”

Joey flashed a crooked grin. “You know chocolate comes from a plant, too, right?”

“Keep your technicalities to yourself,” James dismissed. “We can’t all be nutritional scientists.”

James didn’t like working in the library since there was always the risk of him falling asleep. As such he much preferred to check out whatever books he needed and bring them back to his room. This particular essay had him at his checkout limit, and when he reached his door he hoped very much to avoid having to set his stack down to let himself in. He kicked the door gently since he couldn’t knock properly and hoped for the best.

“Oh, thank god,” James said when Joey opened the door. “I was worried you’d be at a party or something.”

“Eh, haven’t really gone to any in a while,” Joey said, closing the door behind James.

“Oh yeah?” James asked, setting his books down. “Why not? My work ethic rubbing off on you?”

“God, no,” Joey said. “That sounds like a slow death and I’d prefer to go quick.” He averted his gaze and scratched the back of his head. “I guess I just haven’t really felt like it.”

“Well, I don’t blame you,” James said, taking a seat at his desk and sorting through his books for the one he wanted to start with. “Parties sound terrible.”

“They’re really not,” Joey said. “They can actually be pretty fun, but I don’t know. I think maybe I just like the company better here.”

James glanced around as if there might be someone else in the room Joey could be referring to. “Riiight.”

Joey laughed. “Hey, it’s a matter of opinion.”

James opened his book, ready to begin his essay in earnest. “Well, thanks I guess.”

“James. Hey, James. Wake up.”

James opened his eyes to see Joey hovering over him. “Huh?” he forced out.

“Happy birthday!”

James groaned and ran his hands down his face. “You woke me up for that?”

“I woke you up because it’s almost one PM and the last time you slept through a weekend you spent the entire week complaining about how much it set you back.”

“All right, fair,” James said, sitting up and swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. “Thanks. I do need to get started on my--”

“Not so fast!” Joey said, hands on James shoulders to keep him seated. “Your birthday isn’t entirely irrelevant to why I woke you.” He walked over to his desk. “I didn’t know what to get you for your birthday, so….” He reached over and hit play on his stereo. Unsurprisingly, out poured Mariah Carey. What was surprising was that Joey grabbed an empty Coke bottle off his desk and began using it as a microphone as he mouthed along with the song.

“Oh my god,” James said, then he said it again as Joey began to gyrate his hips to the music, flinging his free arm out as he struck poses. As soon as James fell into laughter, Joey did, too, and unable to continue, he turned off the song.

“Was that my birthday present?” James asked when he caught his breath.

“More like a present to myself,” Joey said, panting. “No one ever wants to watch my routine. I have your real present right here.” He pulled open a drawer on his desk.

“I hope it’s a hot dog,” James said.

“Damn, I thought about it,” Joey laughed. He handed James a flat square present. James ripped off the paper to reveal a Mariah Carey cd.

“Let me guess. This album includes the song you just performed for me.”

“Yes!” Joey said. “Now whenever you hear that song, you’ll have no choice but to think of me.”

“That would be a difficult association to break, yes.”

“All according to plan,” Joey said. “I hope you can still get your homework done while battling that mental image.”

“It’ll be tough, but I think I can manage.”

Joey seemed to be spending more time in James’ bed lately, though thankfully it was mostly when James wasn’t in it. He’d lie on his stomach, chin resting on his arms and watch as James worked through his assignments.

“Is there something wrong with your bed?” James asked on one occasion. “I mean, I guess if it smells like you, that’s a good enough reason to avoid it, but at this rate, mine is going to smell that way, too.”

Joey snorted. “You should consider yourself lucky if your bed starts to smell like me. Honestly, the view is just better.”

“If you want to watch some guy study, you can do that literally anywhere on campus.”

“I guess that’s true,” Joey said, rolling over and stretching, “but none of them are you.”

James didn’t answer. Couldn’t. He was rarely around Joey with other people. If Joey just joked this way with all his friends and James took him seriously, he’d be humiliated. And even if Joey were serious, what could James even do with that? He didn’t have time to to go out on dates or… make out or anything like that. He barely had time to sleep. And if Joey wanted to do… other things, then James would have to tell him he didn’t want that, so why make Joey think there was a chance?

“If you want me to sleep at some point,” James said finally, “I’ll need my bed back.”

Joey chuckled. “Don’t worry, knowing your sleep schedule, I’ll be back in my own bed long before you even consider getting into yours.”

At least this time around James knew that finals were survivable. Unfortunately, his method for surviving them still wasn’t the healthiest. Coffee and all-nighters were the way to go.

“You’re not taking this many classes next year, are you?” Joey asked as he poured James another cup of coffee.

James shook his head. “I think I’d die.”

“About time you figured that out,” Joey said. “Next year’s gonna be great. I’m staking a claim on all the free time you’re gonna have, okay?”

“Whatever I guess,” James muttered.

“Don’t sound so excited,” Joey teased.

“I’ll be excited when this is all over.”

James and Joey both had their last test for the year on Friday afternoon, and while Joey hoped to celebrate, all James had the energy for was getting back up to his room and going to sleep. Joey just hoped the other boy would wake up the next day with enough time to pack before he got picked up.

Joey’s mother arrived early Saturday morning, and James was so knocked out that he didn’t even stir as they moved his things out of the room. Once everything was loaded into the car, Joey made his way back up stairs on his own, hoping to wake James up for a goodbye.

“James,” he said as he entered the room. “Jim. Jimmy. Jimothy. Wake up! I’m leaving.”

James made no response and Joey sighed.

“James,” Joey said, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking him gently. “James!”

James grunted in protest, but did not wake up.

Joey sighed. “All right, fine, have it your way.” He grabbed a piece of paper off James’ desk and scrawled out his home phone number. He left it right in the middle of the desk where James was sure to see it. “See you next year,” Joey said, starting for the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, sighed heavily, and turned back around. He’d always thought James was cutest when he was asleep. Maybe next year when James had more time, they could get to a point where Joey could sleep next to him.

Joey brought two fingers to his lips, kissing them, then gently pressed them to James’ mouth. He brought them back to his own mouth and kissed them again. “I love you, James. And I’ll tell you again the next time I see you awake.” He turned away again and headed for the door, glancing over his shoulder again one more time before leaving for good.

When James woke up he found Joey’s side of the room empty. He cursed himself for not getting a chance to say goodbye. At least he could look forward to next year. He found the piece of paper with the phone number on his desk. “Call me!” it said.

James called the number exactly once and left a message with Joey’s mother, leaving the boy his own number. Joey called him back that same week and they spoke for two hours, surprising James’ mother, who didn’t know he could hold a conversation that long. They talked about their final grades, their summer plans, and speculated over whether or not they’d be able to see each other before the next school year. James didn’t drive and Joey didn’t have a car, so any trips would unfortunately involve some sort of parental participation, whether driving one of them to the destination or paying for a flight.

There was no second phone call, at least not from Joey. The next call came from Joey’s mother, informing James that Joey had died. While playing soccer with friends, he’d gone into cardiac arrest due to a heart condition no one had known he had. What a woman, James thought, to call some boy three hundred miles away and speak a language she wasn’t comfortable with to pass along what must have been the worst news of her life. That was love for her son, to set her grief aside for two whole minutes because she knew he would want James to know, and who was James to think that he could ever love someone that much?

In the fall James returned to Princeton to share a room with someone who wasn’t Joey. He didn’t want to be there anymore, wasn’t sure he could stand the the familiar places if he’d never be able to turn around and see Joey there. He had been right, it seemed, to get so many classes out of the way, and he spent the first week picking up as many classes as the school would allow.

[afoolsingenuity]

Looking Forward // March 2017

Looking Forward is a feature where I get to take a look at the books I am most excited to be released each month. The books I cannot wait to start reading and want to remind you all about being released. It’s really a kind of torture because I am meant to be employing a spending ban and I can’t quite help but sneak a book into my basket when I do this post because I forger how many good books get released each month! This month’s collection is very YA heavy (when is it not?) and features a couple of my most anticipated reads.

The Song Rising (The Bone Season #3) – Samantha Shannon

Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult

Release Date: 7th March 2017

You’re Welcome, Universe – Whitney Gardner

Genre: Contemporary, Young Adult

Release Date: 7th March 2017

Following a bloody battle against foes on every side, Paige Mahoney has risen to the dangerous position of Underqueen, ruling over London's criminal population.

But, having turned her back on Jaxon Hall and with vengeful enemies still at large, the task of stabilizing the fractured underworld has never seemed so challenging.

Little does Paige know that her reign may be cut short by the introduction of Senshield, a deadly technology that spells doom for the clairvoyant community and the world as they know it . . .

A vibrant, edgy, fresh new YA voice for fans of More Happy Than Not and Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, packed with interior graffiti.

When Julia finds a slur about her best friend scrawled across the back of the Kingston School for the Deaf, she covers it up with a beautiful (albeit illegal) graffiti mural.

Her supposed best friend snitches, the principal expels her, and her two mothers set Julia up with a one-way ticket to a “mainstream” school in the suburbs, where she’s treated like an outcast as the only deaf student. The last thing she has left is her art, and not even Banksy himself could convince her to give that up.

Out in the ’burbs, Julia paints anywhere she can, eager to claim some turf of her own. But Julia soon learns that she might not be the only vandal in town. Someone is adding to her tags, making them better, showing off—and showing Julia up in the process. She expected her art might get painted over by cops. But she never imagined getting dragged into a full-blown graffiti war.

Told with wit and grit by debut author Whitney Gardner, who also provides gorgeous interior illustrations of Julia’s graffiti tags, You’re Welcome, Universe introduces audiences to a one-of-a-kind protagonist who is unabashedly herself no matter what life throws in her way.

Why Am I Excited?

I have been excited about this book since finishing The Mime Order when that was released. I mean, I have been excited about reading this series ever since I read The Bone Season. It’s just a really interesting fantasy series and one which I can see getting better and better with each book. I remember rolling my eyes at the 7 book series when it first was released but was intrigued like all the rest and I have to say I don’t regret buying that first book in the slightest, even if I am being forced to buy the special edition covers so my book collection will match.

Why Am I Excited?

I had never heard of this author or this book until there was a post at New Year on Pop Goes The Reader by Whitney Gardner and the artwork and the story was just perfect and I knew I wanted to read whatever she had written so hearing that she had this book coming out I knew I needed to get my hands on it. It was nothing to do with the fact it ticks all the diversity boxes (it does and I love that) but it was simply the fact that the author had such a unique voice and I wanted more so the fact she also writes books which are diverse and interesting is just a plus for me.

The Bone Witch – Rin Chupeco

Genre: Fantasy, Paranormal, Young Adult

Release Date: 7th March 2017

Queen of the Geeks – Jen Wilde

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary

Release Date: 14th March 2017

The beast raged; it punctured the air with its spite. But the girl was fiercer.

Tea is different from the other witches in her family. Her gift for necromancy makes her a bone witch, who are feared and ostracized in the kingdom. For theirs is a powerful, elemental magic that can reach beyond the boundaries of the living—and of the human.

Great power comes at a price, forcing Tea to leave her homeland to train under the guidance of an older, wiser bone witch. There, Tea puts all of her energy into becoming an asha, learning to control her elemental magic and those beasts who will submit by no other force. And Tea must be strong—stronger than she even believes possible. Because war is brewing in the eight kingdoms, war that will threaten the sovereignty of her homeland…and threaten the very survival of those she loves.

When BFFs Charlie, Taylor and Jamie go to SupaCon, they know it’s going to be a blast. What they don’t expect is for it to change their lives forever.

Charlie likes to stand out. SupaCon is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star, Jason Ryan. When Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought.

While Charlie dodges questions about her personal life, Taylor starts asking questions about her own.

Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about the Queen Firestone SupaFan Contest, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Why Am I Excited?

I’m pretty sure I saw the cover and then the word witches in the summary and decided it was a must read for me. Thankfully, when I went back and read the summary in full I knew it sounded like a good book, but the cover was mostly to blame.

Why Am I Excited?

It’s another case of the cover getting me first, I mean pink hair! It’s little things like that which get me. The book itself totally feeds into the fangirl in me though, it’s another book set at a convention (I need to read Unconventional!) and it just makes me want to read. I’ve not heard much about it yet but I hope to read it at some point this year.

Madly (New York #2) – Ruthie Knox

Genre: Romance, Contemporary

Release Date: 14th March 2017

Strange the Dreamer (Strange the Dreamer #1) – Laini Taylor

Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult

Release Date: 28th March 2017

An impulsive trip to New York City, a heartthrob from London, and a scandalous to-do list turn a small-town girl’s life upside down in this sultry romance from the New York Times bestselling author of Truly and About Last Night.

Allie Fredericks isn’t supposed to be in Manhattan, hiding in the darkest corner of a hip bar, spying on her own mother—who’s flirting with a man who’s definitely not Allie’s father. Allie’s supposed to be in Wisconsin, planning her parents’ milestone anniversary party. Then Winston Chamberlain walks through the door, with his tailored suit, British accent, and gorgeous eyes, and Allie’s strange mission goes truly sideways.

Winston doesn’t do messy. But after a pretty stranger ropes him into her ridiculous family drama with a fake kiss that gets a little too real, he finds out that messy can be fun. Maybe even a little addicting. And as the night grows longer, Allie and Winston make a list of other wild things they could do together—and what seems like a mismatch leads to a genuine connection. But can their relationship survive as their real lives implode just outside the bedroom door?

A new epic fantasy by National Book Award finalist and New York Times bestselling author Laini Taylor of the Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy.

The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around— and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he's been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance to lose his dream forever.

What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving?

The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo's dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? and if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?

In this sweeping and breathtaking new novel by National Book Award finalist Laini Taylor, author of the New York Times bestselling Daughter of Smoke & Bone trilogy, the shadow of the past is as real as the ghosts who haunt the citadel of murdered gods. Fall into a mythical world of dread and wonder, moths and nightmares, love and carnage. Welcome to Weep.

Why Am I Excited?

I wanted to read this because of Nick (like so many of my books) but I wanted to read even more after I bought Truly after realising this wasn’t out yet! Truly was a fantastic romance read. It was perfect for me at the moment of reading and is a book I could see myself reading again. I really liked the characters and the story and the setting and so I’m thrilled to read about another of the characters in this book. I have pre-ordered and I will hopefully read not long after it’s release.

Why Am I Excited?

I was a massive fan of Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone series (why have I not reread that lately?) and have been waiting something new from her for so long. It may be one of my most anticipated reads of the year and so I cannot wait for it to be out at the end of the month. I have my copy pre-ordered I will happily take the day off of work to read this. I need it in my life ASAP.

We all have books we look forward to, what are your most anticipated reads of March? Are there any I’m missing or have you been lucky enough to read any of these already and want to convince me to buy?

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[itsasif007-blog]

Trump has sought to repurpose the trappings of nationalism for his own “America first” agenda

New Post has been published on http://liststories.com/trump-has-sought-to-repurpose-the-trappings-of-nationalism-for-his-own-america-first-agenda/

Trump has sought to repurpose the trappings of nationalism for his own “America first” agenda

It is so omnipresent, you longer notice it. On sticks outside the historic courthouse and a nearby office building. At a window screen at a kitchenware shop and on a heart-shaped table in an antique store. Above neatly mown lawns and porches of Victorian mansions along North Delaware Street. Beside the tomb of a US president emblazoned on the chest of a salesman as his car pulls out of the square.

The American flag, the stars, and stripes are flying high in Independence, Missouri, an unshowy city in what is literally middle America, preparing to celebrate Independence Day. The public holiday on 4 July celebrates the declaration of independence from the British in 1776 with barbecues, bunting, fireworks, parades, picnics and patriotic songs – reassuring rituals of Americana designed to guard against an identity crisis. However, this is 2018, Donald Trump is president and patriotism is much more complicated than usual.

“I’ve always been ra-ra when it comes to America but it’s difficult to believe this year,” explained Craig Whitney, a former teacher who hung the flag outside his home. In quiet, measured tones, the 70-year-old added:”I am very fearful. I believe we have already lost what my father fought for in world war two. Global democracy is on its way out. I’m increasingly pessimistic, I have to admit. I am convinced the [Republican party] and Trump has wrought damage which will last decades.”

I somehow believe there’s hope Regardless of Trump Craig Whitney

He has a habit of hugging the stripes and stars. He has repeatedly berated American football players for kneeling throughout the national anthem, in protest in racial injustice.

This 4 July, against a background of division and tribalism, some will embrace Trump’s eyesight of flag and nation. Others, in tens of thousands of different towns and cities north, south, east, and west, will try to preserve their own interpretation of Old Glory. Whitney, who resides in an 1893 house on North Delaware Street, said:”My sister is the world’s last remaining unreconstructed hippy. She asked me scornfully 1 time why I put out all the flags. I still somehow think there’s hope in spite of Trump.”

Asked what the flag means to him Whitney responded:”Partly my father, who had been a really flag waving sort of guy. Additionally, it symbolizes for me personally America can be, should be, should be, not necessarily is.”

I state with knowledge of this man that Harry Truman would be horrified by this. This Isn’t the world he battled for Debbie Twyman

His wife, Debbie Twyman, grew up in Independence, a Midwestern town of 121,200 individuals, 10 fire stations, 1 police station and one hospital which in the 19th century has been the primary”jumping-off” point for three leader trails west. Only a decade ago, the town was branded as that the methamphetamine capital of America (a dishonour it’s worked to shake ). “Neighbours tend to care for each other here,” Twyman said. “It’s a little town town. I can provide you the name of everyone on the street and on July 4 they will all be in backyard having hot dogs and hamburgers. They shoot off fireworks down the street and we’ll be able to see them”

“He was a really kind man and stopped and spoke to little kids like me. He was able to tell me that I should run for office and likely in my life we could have a woman president.

“I’d like to believe I’m a patriot and I see the great things my country has done and hopefully will. I’m deeply distressed when I see children ripped from their mothers [beneath Trump’s family separation policy at the border]. I say with knowledge of the guy that Harry Truman would be horrified by this. This is not the planet he fought for.” Craig Whitney and Debbie Twyman relax in their porch.

Across the street, American and Italian flags fly side by side outside the home of Linda Robinson. She explained:”Exchange students say they would like to stay in LA or San Francisco but Gaia stated,’That is the real America. This is the way it is. This is the way in which the vast majority of Americans live.’ She is right: we’re not flying setters. They estimate America by what they see on TV: a lot of Hollywood wealthy and famous. They think everyone has a giant car and a big house.”

“I do not care what anybody says, I think America is the best country in the world. Patriotism to me is standing from the country. It is like standing by anyone; you don’t always agree with them but you’ll always love them. The core values are there. I believe we’re a strong country and nobody has been on precisely the exact same page but we have managed to exist together.

As soon as he is out of office, if we could find someone with manners and diplomacy, we’ll calm down a little bit Linda Robinson

“I think somehow America will endure. The moment he is out of office, if we can find someone with manners and diplomacy, then we’ll calm down a bit. Following the election, I had to calm my daughter down and told her: just take it one day at a time, he’s not going to be there forever, someone else will come in a reverse everything he did. Sometimes in your life, there is a dip. We are at a dip right now but I think we will rise again.”

Along North Delaware Street, at the home of Stephanie Dean and household, the stars and stripes had been from flying a rod at the front garden, while two more flags rose out of plant ships either side of the doorway. She explained:”To me, it symbolizes hope that, when we are not divided, we can still come together to grow and learn and manage everyone the very same rights.”

Dean, 32, a warrior, included:”Patriotism means taking pride in your country. I am an American but that’s only part of who I am. That is not a basket I am going to throw my eggs into because that shuts the door to other men and women. It’s great to be conscious of where you are from but it’s not the be all and end all.” ‘A silent American’

Independence Square is dominated by a 1933 redbrick courthouse with classical pediment and columns beneath a clock tower and weather vane, surrounded by impeccably cut grass. Outside the west entrance is a statue of former president Andrew Jackson on horseback; outside the east entrance is a statue of Truman with spectacles, tie and suit and cane, standing on a plinth over a flower bed. Jim Allin, proprietor Window Cleaning, squeegees a storefront window across from the Truman Courthouse on Independence Square. Photograph: Julie Denesha for the Observer

The surrounding shops include an art gallery, law office, a vendor of audio gear, a”pet resort” and a physical therapist. But they’re punctuated by some empty lots marked “for rent” or using”lease this space”, one nonetheless advertising long has gone raincoats and underwear. At one corner are Clinton’s Soda Fountain, an ice cream and milkshake parlor that was once a drugstore in which the young Truman worked, rather similar to young George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life. The Neighborhood is Wild About Harry, a men’s gift, and accessories shop, and also the art deco Pharaoh cinema. At another corner is Up Dog, a timeless diner with an impending hot dog eating contest.

If you’ve got a good system you need to reside, not thump your chest and yell,’We’re number one!’

In many ways this is every town; others it is atypical. The dancer Ginger Rogers was born here. Truman moved to Independence when he was six and returned to humble retirement here after his presidency, which included the still bitterly debated decision to drop two atomic bombs on Japan to hasten the conclusion of the second world war. The Harry S Truman Library and Museum, which obviously includes the US flag flying at the entrance, provides a study in contrast with the present incumbent of the White House.

Truman was the son of a farmer, worked many jobs, accrued debts, failed to attend university, laboured to a farm, fought in the first world war (joining up as a bespectacled 33-year-old), opened a clothing store that went out of business and rose to the US Senate and then the presidency — an embodiment of the American dream. Following his stunning 1948 election triumph, he also sent a telegram to the Washington Post that read:”Despite your editorial opposition to the Democratic ticket, your news coverage of my effort was fair and comprehensive.” In a glass case the museum displays the signal, “The buck stops here”, that sat on his desk at the Oval Office. Near the graves of both Truman and his wife, Bess, a quotation is inscribed in stone:”The truth is I need for history.”

Most significantly, the museum argues that Truman “reversed the long American tradition of isolationism” and chronicles his role from the Marshall Plan, the formation of Nato, recognition of Israel and military intervention in Korea — that the stewardship of a postwar liberal democratic arrangement that Trump now threatens to unravel.

Clifton Truman Daniel, who had been six before he discovered that his grandfather was president, recalls parading around Independence atop a fire engine one 4 July, in sweltering heat. He expects this year’s commemorations throughout the country will not be contaminated by the political climate. “If anything, I expect it would be a time to get less disunity and, regardless of their political differences, people celebrate their shared background,” the 61-year-old said by phone. Park guide Alex Joeckel carefully folds a flag. Photograph: Julie Denesha for your Observer

What does the flag mean? “It is a sense of pride but I’d consider myself a silent American. I’m glad I live here as Winston Churchill explained,’Democracy is the worst type of government except for all those other forms which have been tried.’ I’ve a quiet pride: if you’ve got a good system you should live it, not tell folks about it. My grandfather was proud of those values we hold dear but he was also a modest man and did not feel needed to beat anyone over the head with it.” ‘A fine line’

Josh Olah, 23, an ironworker, said:”He is fine. There are always issues with everybody. He does his job.”

Sitting under the Truman statue as well as an American flag, Olah summed the latter up in 1 word:”Freedom.”

Nationalism, fascism, and patriotism: that’s a fine line there Michael Thomas

Eileen Weir, that the mayor of Freedom, said:”I’d say that the people in my communities encouraged to a large amount the Republican president and who causes me to really change my thinking on some issues and understand what my community wants. I think the president has an opportunity to really make some fantastic policy choices.

“I’m concerned, as a lot of people are, in regards to the immigration problems but I think he has made some good decisions on tax policy. Every president has losses and wins and I am rooting for President Trump that he has more wins than losses.”

Weir, 50, who expects to expand the town’s 4 July parties, added: “Freedom is obviously the house of Harry Truman, historically a very Democratic city, and we observe that that is shifting. I feel it’s my responsibility to respond to what the Republicans want and supply them what with what they want.”

However, Trump’s brand of flag-waving is a turn off to many here. The Nazis were quite nationalistic and patriotic. Trump’s opinion is: if you don’t agree with what he says and wrap yourself in the flag, then you are unpatriotic. I strongly disagree with this.”

The stars and stripes have played many pieces. It has additionally been commodified in hats, socks, ties, towels, and underpants.

At sunset in Independence Square on Thursday,” Thomas Reddell, 23, a insulation, was wearing a vest patterned entirely out of the flag, with the celebrities on his upper right chest. He said:”Many of my family is in the army and I am grateful for what they do to let us be free without having to think about other countries bullying us.”

His perspectives on the current flag-hugging president were blended. “Donald Trump is arrogant. There are a number of things I agree with and others where I believe he is a complete fool. He spoke his mind and that is what America is all about so I’m proud in that respect, but he makes us sort of look like assholes. He is trying to split us but I also understand that Americans aren’t going to let that happen.

” We’ll have another president shortly and he’s not that important. A president is for four or eight years but America has been excellent for 200 years, so 1 man can’t change this.”

  Source

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The Book You Should Read Instead Of Binging Netflix, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

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The Book You Should Read Instead Of Binging Netflix, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Unsplash / Aziz Acharki

Aries: March 21st – April 19th

Circe by Madeline Miller

“In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child–not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power–the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.

Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.

But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.“

Taurus: April 20th – May 20th

Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick

“By 2021, the World War has killed millions, driving entire species into extinction and sending mankind off-planet. Those who remain covet any living creature, and for people who can’t afford one, companies built incredibly realistic simulacra: horses, birds, cats, sheep. They’ve even built humans. Immigrants to Mars receive androids so sophisticated they are indistinguishable from true men or women. Fearful of the havoc these artificial humans can wreak, the government bans them from Earth. Driven into hiding, unauthorized androids live among human beings, undetected. Rick Deckard, an officially sanctioned bounty hunter, is commissioned to find rogue androids and ‘retire’ them. But when cornered, androids fight back—with lethal force.”

Gemini: May 21st – June 20th

Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney

“Amber wakes up in a hospital. She can’t move. She can’t speak. She can’t open her eyes. She can hear everyone around her, but they have no idea. Amber doesn’t remember what happened, but she has a suspicion her husband had something to do with it. Alternating between her paralyzed present, the week before her accident, and a series of childhood diaries from twenty years ago, this brilliant psychological thriller asks: Is something really a lie if you believe it’s the truth?” 

Cancer: June 21st – July 22nd

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

“Newlyweds Celestial and Roy are the embodiment of both the American Dream and the New South. He is a young executive, and she is an artist on the brink of an exciting career. But as they settle into the routine of their life together, they are ripped apart by circumstances neither could have imagined. Roy is arrested and sentenced to twelve years for a crime Celestial knows he didn’t commit. Though fiercely independent, Celestial finds herself bereft and unmoored, taking comfort in Andre, her childhood friend, and best man at their wedding. As Roy’s time in prison passes, she is unable to hold on to the love that has been her center. After five years, Roy’s conviction is suddenly overturned, and he returns to Atlanta ready to resume their life together.“

Leo: July 23rd – August 22nd

The Chalk Man by C.J. Tudor

“In 1986, Eddie and his friends are just kids on the verge of adolescence. They spend their days biking around their sleepy English village and looking for any taste of excitement they can get. The chalk men are their secret code: little chalk stick figures they leave for one another as messages only they can understand. But then a mysterious chalk man leads them right to a dismembered body, and nothing is ever the same.

In 2016, Eddie is fully grown, and thinks he’s put his past behind him. But then he gets a letter in the mail, containing a single chalk stick figure. When it turns out that his friends got the same message, they think it could be a prank . . . until one of them turns up dead.

That’s when Eddie realizes that saving himself means finally figuring out what really happened all those years ago.”

Virgo: August 23rd – September 22nd

The Woman In The Window by A.J. Finn

“Anna Fox lives alone—a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. She spends her day drinking wine (maybe too much), watching old movies, recalling happier times . . . and spying on her neighbors.

Then the Russells move into the house across the way: a father, a mother, their teenage son. The perfect family. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble—and its shocking secrets are laid bare.

What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control? In this diabolically gripping thriller, no one—and nothing—is what it seems.”

Libra: September 23rd – October 22nd

Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Alberalli

“Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.”

Scorpio: October 23rd – November 21st

I’m Fine And Other Lies by Whitney Cummings

“Here are all the stories and mistakes I’ve made that were way too embarrassing to tell on stage in front of an actual audience; but thanks to not-so-modern technology, you can read about them here so I don’t have to risk having your judgmental eye contact crush my self-esteem. This book contains some delicious schadenfreude in which I recall such humiliating debacles as breaking my shoulder while trying to impress a guy, coming very close to spending my life in a Guatemalan prison, and having my lacerated ear sewn back on by a deaf guy after losing it in a torrid love affair. In addition to hoarding mortifying situations that’ll make you feel way better about your choices, I’ve also accumulated a lot of knowledge from therapists, psychotherapists, and psychopaths, which can probably help you avoid making the same mistakes I’ve made. Think of this book as everything you’d want from the Internet all in one place, except without the constant distractions of ads, online shopping, and porn.“

Sagittarius: November 22nd – December 21st

The Magic Misfits by Neil Patrick Harris

“When street magician Carter runs away, he never expects to find friends and magic in a sleepy New England town. But like any good trick, things change instantly as greedy B.B. Bosso and his crew of crooked carnies arrive to steal anything and everything they can get their sticky fingers on.

After a fateful encounter with the local purveyor of illusion, Dante Vernon, Carter teams up with five other like-minded illusionists. Together, using both teamwork and magic, they’ll set out to save the town of Mineral Wells from Bosso’s villainous clutches. These six Magic Misfits will soon discover adventure, friendship, and their own self-worth in this delightful new series.”

Capricorn: December 22nd – January 19th

Good Me Bad Me by Ali Land

“Milly’s mother is a serial killer. Though Milly loves her mother, the only way to make her stop is to turn her in to the police. Milly is given a fresh start: a new identity, a home with an affluent foster family, and a spot at an exclusive private school.

But Milly has secrets, and life at her new home becomes complicated. As her mother’s trial looms, with Milly as the star witness, Milly starts to wonder how much of her is nature, how much of her is nurture, and whether she is doomed to turn out like her mother after all.

When tensions rise and Milly feels trapped by her shiny new life, she has to decide: Will she be good? Or is she bad? She is, after all, her mother’s daughter.”

Aquarius: January 20th – February 18th

Every Day by David Leviathan

“Every day a different body. Every day a different life. Every day in love with the same girl.

There’s never any warning about where it will be or who it will be. A has made peace with that, even established guidelines by which to live: Never get too attached. Avoid being noticed. Do not interfere.

It’s all fine until the morning that A wakes up in the body of Justin and meets Justin’s girlfriend, Rhiannon. From that moment, the rules by which A has been living no longer apply. Because finally A has found someone he wants to be with—day in, day out, day after day.“

Pisces: February 19th – March 20th

The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero

“In 2003, an independent film called The Room—starring and written, produced, and directed by a mysteriously wealthy social misfit named Tommy Wiseau—made its disastrous debut in Los Angeles. Described by one reviewer as ‘like getting stabbed in the head,’ the $6 million film earned a grand total of $1,800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Ten years later, it’s an international cult phenomenon, whose legions of fans attend screenings featuring costumes, audience rituals, merchandising, and thousands of plastic spoons. Hailed by The Huffington Post as ‘possibly the most important piece of literature ever printed,’ The Disaster Artist is the hilarious, behind-the-scenes story of a deliciously awful cinematic phenomenon as well as the story of an odd and inspiring Hollywood friendship. Greg Sestero, Tommy’s costar, recounts the film’s bizarre journey to infamy, explaining how the movie’s many nonsensical scenes and bits of dialogue came to be and unraveling the mystery of Tommy Wiseau himself.”