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derwahnsinn · 2 years

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Oliver fixing his pants

Even rock stars have to fix their pants sometimes. Oliver Riedel straightening his drop-crotch pants on stage during Heirate mich, Los Angeles 24.09.2022.

Original video by me, GIF by me.

#Oliver Riedel #Rammstein #Rammstein in Los Angeles 2 #Rammstein Tour #2022 North American Stadium Tour #Oliver's pants #Wouldn't want them to fall off #Or would we #My GIFs

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egophiliac · 1 year

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so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #on this installment of things nobody asked but i'm going to talk about anyway #disclaimer that this is mostly a joke please don't get mad at me #(legit no shade to anyone) (speculation is one of the fun things about an ongoing fandom and you never know what'll turn out to be true!)#more seriously i do think there may be some connection that just isn't clear yet #but the more little breadcrumbs we get about what revaan was like the more i think crowley just doesn't act like him #i adore crowley don't get me wrong #(yes he's a dipshit. this is a feature not a bug.)#but like.#not to harp on the scene about lilia's nrc invitation (i am absolutely going to harp on it)#i do not believe that crowley would go through the trash to fish out the pieces and put them back together and save them #just because it was lilia's. just because lilia might want it again someday.#crowley can ✨yasashii✨ all he wants but we know what he's like #and i REALLY do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him. i didn't believe it before and i extra don't believe it now.#then again i do tend to be incredibly off about speculation so! who knows! i will trust the writing for now!#i do 100% believe that meleanor would fall in love with the world's biggest dumbass and then double down super hard. that part tracks.#that said i have decided that ambrose being revaan is actually the funnier option just because it would make crowley SO mad #it wouldn't make sense for him to be mad about it and that would just make him madder

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bumblingbabooshka · 5 months

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Voyager plotline in which The Doctor, Seven, Tuvok, and Neelix have to become a barbershop quartet in order to save the crew. With the little outfits and everything. (Harry's providing the music)

#It's life or death bc neither Seven nor Tuvok would want to do it otherwise #Look at the EMH and tell me he wouldn't love to twirl a little cane around and sing a jaunty little tune #I chose Neelix as the fourth bc I remember Seven was trying to teach him how to sing?#and I like a whole 'we'll NEVER get to nationals like THIS!' moment bc he's got enthusiasm but is horribly off key #I think the resolution is that they try to just have Neelix lip sync but something goes wrong and one by one the other members #fall in the middle of the performance for a variety of reasons and then it's only Neelix and whoever was providing his voice falters #and so Neelix just has to sing himself and it turns out the aliens fucking LOOVE his terrible off key vocals #everyone else is groaning (from the variety of ailments and injuries that hit them) and Neelix is grinning with a trophy the aliens gave th #(they also gave their crew back)#fake star trek voyager episodes my beloved #st voyager

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averlym · 10 months

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,,, sun-dappled sheets...

#the sapphics got to me okay. portrix real #it's so cute how they go from falling asleep tgt at the presses to having a room to share #adamandi #portia elizabeth harper #beatrix valeria campbell #it was a doodle and then i was like i want to make it softer so i painted it over and in the process rendered it somewhat #it's still quite sketchy akdhfj but u get the vibes!! ++ tried out using a Lot more noise than usual #so that's like the New Art Takeaway from doing this.#;;; i feel like every time i draw wlw fluff it's stepping back deep into my comfort zone haha but yes. soft cosy comfy etc.#my brain was not processing enough to figure out casual wear so this is kind of just the stripped down costumes akdhdjdh but yeah #bonus side note here is i was like hehe wouldn't it be fun if beatrix hand + portia ribbon. as like a nod to contrast how #previously it was strings on their hands instead. and now she cut them off bc portia and also smth smth about the difference #between tying (the strings) and choosing to hold (ribbon) and sjdhdhfhfh ue.#*incoherent noises* it's about the softness. the touching. the idea of choice- but less afraid of losing it- smth smth inherent trust also.#knowing tomorrow you'll still be there..#<- sorry there's a silly little conceptual thing in every adamandi thing i make i think #i would love to say this was For Adamandi Week but i do very badly with timed events so the truth is just. i woke up and saw #@/regret-repentir 's post (which is so so lovely actually) (credit where credit is due) and then spent the next 1.5h drawing portrix #the prompt was post graduation i think? but seeing as i didn't really respond to the prompt itself #it doesn't rly count in my head as a prompt response for the event. idk #it technically works. but also it feels like false advertising...#<blinks> fun times include this being the first time i've drawn adamandi characters entirely without reference. they have been blorbo-ified

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itsamenickname · 1 year

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Ooo, I got a fun Bowuigi plot twist for y'all:

Instead of Luigi influencing Bowser to become a better person/Koopa, what if Bowser accidentally influenced Luigi to become more like him?

How do you think Mario would react to finding out that his sweet and innocent baby brother isn't so sweet and innocent anymore?

#luigi #luigi nintendo #bowser #bowser nintendo #bowuigi #bowser x luigi #super mario #super mario bros #mario au #now just to clarify on what I mean by “more like Bowser:” Luigi wouldn't become evil or anything like that #I would instead think that he would have a somewhat more chaotic nature #for example: the normal Luigi wouldn't even think to tie a Toad's shoelaces together in hopes of making them fall (because that's mean)#but under Bowser's influence I would say that the new Luigi would not hesitate go along with that idea (or any of Bowser's ideas really)#does that make sense?#the new Luigi wouldn't want take over any kingdoms or seriously hurt anyone but I would say that he wants to kind of ruin people's day #I can also see the new Luigi swearing #now he wouldn't have a sailor mouth like Bowser #but I can see something going wrong for him (like a dish didn't turn out right or he breaks a plate) and he just casually saids a bad word #and both Mario and Bowser would be completely speechless because the normal Luigi would never swear (even if he was angry)#and then like 10 seconds later Bowser starts laughing his ass off while Mario gives Bowser a stare that would kill him in an instant #think of the normal Luigi as lawfully good and the new Luigi as more towards chaotic neutral

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celerysimpnartz · 2 years

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Here's a lazy one for you guys 😭

Tap the image for better quality 🤡

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #number five #klive #harcest #tua fandom #I just wanna say that I got real fucking lazy with this one 💀. Like it's 12am rn and my sense of color is dead died and gone #Also this one was based off of that one song from Book of Life aka I Love You Too Much because that shit was so gaddamn adorable so yeah #But this honestly can go with any cheesy acoustic serenade song like You Are The Only One or Can't Help Falling In Love With You #Actually this was supposed to be a not siblings/adopted AU but then my lazy wouldn't give them much more unique settings but oh well.#But this can be any AU yall want its really up to your imagination I'm just here to give yall a Lil idea.#Fucking love cheesy Five goddammit #THE SINGING SCENE IN S3???? yes

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delicatetaysversion · 3 months

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my best friend's MOTHER called me to scold me about being depressed and self isolating lol what has life even come to

#she was like. kya hua why won't you meet her she's saying you're busy do you have exams or something #and she knows too much about me so she's like beta exam toh agli saal hai na #it was more like pyaar se scolding ki mil liya karo usse acche lagega she's very sad she misses you #i was like. hmph. what??? she certainly hasn't said that to me #im kinda sick and tired of begging people to make me a priority pay attention to me tbh. i did ask to meet but she was like you come to my #house only i won't come to your house. even tho last few months ive been to her house soooo many times because of her parental drama #i don't want to go anymore im trying to study consistently and we don't sleep at all during nighout and i don't even want to waste a single #day. plus dad is being so weird and involved these days i can't even just sneak out. i mean if she came to my home atleast i wouldn't be so #tired that id waste the whole next day. but she doesn't wanna and she doesn't even have a reason so i just let it be i gave up #but aunty made me feel so guilty so whatever i texted like hey u wanna meet #tbh i don't want to sit and listen to her boyfriend drama all night. she never wants to do stuff together anymore we used to watch movies #we used to dance to songs we used to have so much fun. we were even planning on drinking but she keeps cancelling. now it's just endless #talk about how she feels so lonely and how she misses the guys so fuckinh much and howshe can't stop talking to them and how she needs them #to fill the gap the empty space #well fuck you!!! i feel the same and you don't give a fuck. you blow me off constantly don't hangout for a month even when we're in the #same city !! so we fuck you go to your boys and go your cousin ill be on my fucking own then always on my own desperately #trying everything to fix myself enough to move forward so my life doesn't fall apart and comes to a crashing halt #okay im definitely pmsing but whatever

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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months

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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself

#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy #a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE #i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing #and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think #that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it #because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick #i feel underconfident in writing any of them #and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first #started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min #but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast #in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore #and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new #themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter #if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life #and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep #all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters #most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head #and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously #so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use #it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD #to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely #adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12 #they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot #if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright #i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't #and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri #and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300 #i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot

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thekimspoblog · 3 months

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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"

Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"

Demon: "You're a bad writer"

Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"

Demon: "You're a bad leader"

Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"

#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving #the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and #“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience #for the latter #but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people #and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better #can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one #respects ma authoritah #but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope #if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place #“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct #at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror #and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me #if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego #but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals #it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea #that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand #i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER #the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army #and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter #ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join #on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting #not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist #and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of

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magentagalaxies · 4 months

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going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao

#still on the fence about it bc the burnout i experienced at the beginning of may extended to aubrey #especially bc so much of my aubrey stuff is comedy about gender and my brain was more in ''set everything on fire'' mode #and i think i've gotten to a good place with that burnout but i still haven't worked on any aubrey stuff since i got home from college #but even still even tho my mental health is better than it was a few weeks ago #recently i have had this horrible insomnia where i haven't been able to fall asleep at night in over a week #(i've made up for it with naps but still i am not mentally 100% rn. i've tried so many things and nothing has worked.)#so that's my justification for *not* doing aubrey tomorrow. however.#i reeeally need to get more performance experience bc there's only so much you can develop a sketch character without performing them #and this venue is so good. it's an art gallery like an hour away that's designed to be part gallery and part performance venue #especially for comedy. like the venue owner is this veteran comedian who used to work with bobcat goldthwait and a lot of other big names #and it's a low-pressure environment bc everyone there has seen me do comedy before with my improv troupe #but they still haven't seen me do aubrey at all so it's bringing a new side of my comedy to some of my main collaborators #like this is so much better than my previous aubrey performances bc they were all either #1. shows in CLASSROOMS with a bunch of my classmates who generally don't get my comedy (very clique-ish)#or 2. a guest spot on a show at a coffee shop where everyone knew each other except me #plus the biggest thing for me is the lack of a strict time limit. like as much as having a good 3-minute monologue can be #i think aubrey is a character you need to get to know a bit longer than 3 minutes. and a lot of my stuff is long while also being very tigh #like not every monologue is like this but my best aubrey monologues are almost like aubrey is telling you a sitcom storyline #and removing too many lines makes the whole narrative jenga tower fall over #and as much as i want to figure out how to make every monologue a good starting point #having the chance to perform multiple monologues if i get to go twice so that they can build off each other would be perfect #idk i'm not sure how often the open mics are there. at least monthly tho i might be missing next month's depending on when i'm in toronto #so like this wouldn't really be my only chance. but yeah i'm on the fence about whether to bring aubrey back for a performance tomorrow #i probably wouldn't do new material. i'd do the 5 minute version of my uncle reg monologue bc it's the one that's worked best so far #and if i get to do multiple. maybe i'd do the ''nom de plum'' monologue bc i think it's also very strong #and it has a good callback to uncle reg #but idk i also think doing the song would be very fun and on-theme since it's pride month and the song is a satire of rainbow capitalism #tho i'd probably have to rework the monologue that leads into the song bc even tho i loved the concept i don't think i articulated it well #or i could write an entirely different lead-in and make the previous monologue (''C/H/M'') a separate thing to revise later #which would probably go better and somehow be less work to write. but even so i don't know what the venue's sound setup is

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paging-possum · 5 months

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Who up listening to good luck babe by chappell roan and having it resonate not in the way intended but resonating nonetheless. About to go ham in the tags about the overlap of being a lesbian and being aromantic...if u even care....

#my art #gore #organs #its 2am so not a lot of this is going to be very coherent but this song makes me feel a lot of things about it all #like. its the Expectations #the expectation that im going to date men and the expectation that im going to date at all have always felt equally stifling #theres that feeling of not trying hard enough or not realizing it at first or trying to lean into what you're told you should feel #and having it not pay off time and time again and wishing you could just make it work #because everyone else around you has it just fine and you dont get why you're struggling with it so much #THERE ARE MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE TWO IS WHAT IM SAYING #like obviously figuring out aromanticism is especially weird because its a lack of something BUT THEYRE PRETTY SIMILAR #realizing I dont want to date anyone mirrors realizing I didn't like boys but like. idk man its worse sometimes?#I wouldn't trade it for the world it means a lot to me but its almost like people go out of their way not to understand it sometimes #at the end of the day I am the you in that song #it was a very very long road to being okay with never falling in love because that was something I wanted for a very very long time #at the end of the day I will never have to be someones wife and I think its better that way #but its also hard not to get jealous sometimes #like I know its irrational I know I get physically ill at just the thought of being asked out but like #sometimes ill see my friends with their girlfriends and ill feel like clawing my own chest out with want #but also if anyone asks me out I will have to dig myself into a pit and never come out. I think.#I want to be with women but I dont want to Be With Women if that makes sense #its another layer of difficulty that I dont think I'll ever be able to get past #I feel like at this point I should just be trying to conditioning myself out of any form of desire because its just not an option for me #which definitely isn't true and like chappell roan says. you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.#but its also so tiring to have to sit here with the feeling and feel bad for having the feeling.#I dont know #I think if I felt a little more or a little less I’d be fine but I’m stuck in the middle #it feels very weird talking about this openly but also its very difficult to talk about with friends because most of them dont get it #anyways something something Josies monologue from bottoms #im going to bed

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touchd0wn-boy · 11 months

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if they actually do announce tour dates on monday i will DIE

#latam tour ends in april and they're in the uk for the rescheduled dates in august (+ probably reading+leeds)#so a US fall tour after that maybe? (fingers crossed for more europe dates too)#i don't want them to get burnt out but at least they do have the rest of the year off and it seems like ava's on the backburner for now #i feel like their mom. DON'T OVEREXTEND YOURSELVES YOU KNOW HOW YOU GET WHEN YOU TOUR TOO MUCH WITH EACH OTHER. NO FIGHTING!#after the interview i'm confident that they wouldn't agree to a tour unless they all 100% felt up to it. they're in full control of blink

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poptartmochi · 1 year

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oh i finally realized why the agathos are 💢💢💢 towards vergil 🤏🏻🕶️😳

#besides the whole wanting to go to hell thing being counter to their own beliefs and morals #because you know i think. given the context of being a Son of Sparda. there's an obvious and logical desire to know your father better #so i think the agathos Could empathize would that. many of them probably Would empathize with that!#so that overall argument falls flat bc the agathos Overall dislike vergil. why would All of Them go 😒😒 at him?#well it finally clicked :] if you sacrifice your right to peaceful eternal slumber to confine One Fucking Guy in time prison forever #and dumb people keep showing up to your time prison because the One Fucking Guy was notorious for hoarding secret knowledge #and these people keep getting killed in pursuit of evil knowledge + thus fueling the One Fucking Guy's ability to some day break the chains #of the time prison and invoke calamity yet again. Well! wouldn't it be quite frankly Alarming #if some dude with MegaBlood™️ that everyone can smell from a mile away waltzed in... get this!! ALSO in search of the evil knowledges #thus kind of threatening at its very core the exact thing you sacrificed your human soul and afterlife to..#and despite your big red warning signs to LEAVE he just pushes further and further into your time prison and closer + closer to The One #Fucking Guy.. it's one thing for his travelling buddy to do that bc whatever 🙄 she's just a human after all. it will take like 400 more of #her to break the time prison.. but this one guy is like.. 500 of her in one convenient little package! fucked up!!#there is some vergil apologism amongst the agathos but overall they're like 😑😑😑 *skyrim guard voice* NEVER should've come here!!!! 💢#i imagine a lot of them are like girl why would you want to go BACK to hell??? your dad ABANDONED that place!! 😭😭 0/10 reviews on Yelp!!#also we will Not Address the growing vampiric themes in the fprsq.. 😶 it is not my fault that arkham's little ritual relied so heavily on #blood and i based Many Things off that ritual! 🤧🤧😝#sriracha.txt #fortuna presequel

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lazinesswrites · 1 year

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I know I already posted a bunch of WIP stuff today, BUT. It's still Sunday (barely) so here's six sentences from yet another WIP that I started... yesterday. The file name for this one is The Power of Hugs.

“You know we don’t blame you, right?” Wrecker asks gently, because he knows he needed to hear that after—Bracca. Still doesn’t always believe it, or understand it, but it’s true for him about Crosshair, so. Crosshair mutters something into his shoulder, too low for Wrecker to really hear it, even though Crosshair is on his good side. It sounds a little like “I tried to kill you.” Wrecker keeps talking. Crosshair’s arms tighten, making Wrecker’s armor dig into his back uncomfortably.

#Six Sentence Sunday #WIP Excerpt #Star Wars: The Bad Batch #Wrecker #Crosshair #Fall of Kamino canon divergence #The Power of Hugs #Wrecker gives the best hugs and not even Crosshair is immune #especially not Crosshair tbh #you can't tell me season one wouldn't have ended very differently if someone had just hugged Crosshair #.... now I have another idea for a mini-fic fall of kamino fix-it #Hunter and Cross share a pod going up right? they have to get pretty close in it #and Cross must be kinda touch-starved and cold at this point #so what if he just... leans in a little closer than he has to #and Hunter notices of course and... pulls him into more of a hug than just standing really close #and during the trip up to the surface... they don't talk but they still settle things between them #they both realize the other does actually want them all to be back together and that they can/do still trust each other #so when Crosshair grabs his rifle later Hunter doesn't even flinch and he thanks Cross after #and the others might still point their blasters at Cross but Hunter tells them off #and Crosshair comes with them in the end and all is well

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neonpigeons · 2 years

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in my "afraid of everything" era

#is it anxiety? probably #i've been extra paranoid lately over things that are legitimate threats but not like. a real pressing concern #like bears? grizzly bears? was in the woods on saturday and i was like ''if i see a bear im gonna shit'' but we didn't #i didn't want anything to happen to noodle #but my friend had a shotgun to scare them off so we were fine #i also heard coyotes the other night while walking and im also afraid of them going after noodle so i haven't walked in over a week #AND ALSO THERE'S A SERIAL KILLER that's in a town that isnt THAT far away from where i live #the funny thing is that my fears are making me fall asleep at a decent time cuz I don't like being out at night alone anymore #gah I've also always had a fear of predator animals attacking and eating me but it's been worrying me more lately idk why #when i was a kid my aunt lived in the deep woods of oregon #and a mountain lion killed some of their baby cows and i unfortunately saw the dead cows. when i was a kid #it fucked me up more than i wanted to admit and i was always so fucking scared of an animal gutting ME #like when i delivered pizzas at my last job and i had to go to the more remote areas closer to the foothills #the fear i always had in the back of my head 😵‍💫#everyone always thought i was silly for it!! they were like ''cougars are afraid of cars they wouldn't bother you''#okay but im holding a tasty fucking pizza in my hands? covered in meat? im a walking slab of meat? what if one is especially hungry??#hgkfnkshfsk okay sorry im fine it's fine i am safely in my home it's okay. i need to stop freaking out over nothing #ari speaks #sorry for the long ass tags #if you've gotten this far i love you and i hope you have a wonderful day 😚💌🫂#oh this also doesn't even dive into my fear of love and human interaction. but i should maybe save that for a therapist #...if i ever get another one

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hallowxiu · 1 year

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sometimes i come very close to messaging my ex best friend and being like, "bestie i miss you!!" because i want them back in my life, but then i have to remind myself how i was treated at the end of the friendship, and how they literally shelved me once they got bored and found new people, and then i decide against it, even though it hurts.

#and that's on not falling back into toxic habits I guess #even if i know they'll try to spin it in a way that makes them look favorable and not feel as bad #but for once #out of any conflict i've ever had with a friend #i can know with 100% certainty #that i am not in the wrong #not even a little bit #i was open and i communicated #multiple times #and i only cut them off once they made it clear they didn't care #so they can say or think whatever they want #which i know they have #but i can sleep perfectly fine at night knowing i have never done that to ANY of my friends #but i guess they can't say the same #which is a shame because i thought they were different and i thought so highly of them #all i can hope for them is that their new group of friends don't ever treat them the way they did to me at the end of our friendship #because it's a shitty feeling to experience and it's isolating #and i could barely handle it #so i know they wouldn't handle it at all

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