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etherealvoidechoes · 5 months ago

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Rage Against the Dying of the Light Pt 1 of 4

Commander Thaddeus Seaver had been rescued by XCOM. The process of removing him from the stasis suit begins with a rough start. Things only grow worse once he wakes up.

Weird how a sickness made me hyperfocus on this. Just hope I can transfer this over to other endeavors.

So a fic for my other Commander, Thaddeus Seaver. His rescue and awakening have been haunting my dreams for a bit. So here's a 4-parter.

The usual warnings for blood, violence, and language. Some suicidal thoughts and attempted misguided murder.

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1(You are here)||2||3||4

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The fog in Thaddeus’ mind was slowly lifting. Gears slowly clicked into place and turned. All so painfully slow. He always hated the feeling of his consciousness trying to reassert itself after being pulled from the System for a check-up. There was a faint buzzing in the back of his mind. How long would he be himself before They crushed his consciousness back into that dark corner or rifled through it again to find something from the past?

What fresh hell awaits me this “check-up?”

Yet… Everything felt off.

As more sensations turned on, he could perceive his surroundings. Everything around him shook and rattled. He felt himself being lifted a few times and each time he was set down there was a solid thud. They were never this rough when moving him around. He was a prized asset.

And then their voices. It was always muffled in the Stasis Suit, but he could tell whoever was handling him sounded rushed. Almost panicked.

“Bring him over here!” An older female voice said. “And everyone else, clear out! I want this place as sterile as possible!”

“John, you need to get yourself checked out.” A male voice said.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” A male voice gruffly replied. “Barely a scratch.”

“Barely a scratch? They got your back! You’re freakn’ bleeding!”

“For the love of… Get your butt over there and get treated, John! You were shot, for God’s sake!” The female voice chastised him.

“Doctor Tyler…”

They nearly got into a cursing match until she reminding him, “you want to be alive when we pull him out?” That silenced him.

As he listened, he noticed they all sounded… human. That was different.

Some rebels found where you were keeping me? Or is it another fault in the system? Another screw-up with my health? Hope the feedback kills me this time.

If there was another fault with his health, he knew They would do everything to keep him alive. All the experiments and modifications. What was even left of him?

He felt the movement come to a slow stop before he felt himself being lifted once more and moved.

“Carefully! There’s potentially decades of atrophy to contend with!” There was another voice. Male. He sounded much calmer and more level-headed than the others.

“Wish we had more time.” A young female voice said. There was some faint stress in it.

He then heard the faint clicking. Must have been the connection ports on the suit.

Hm. Human. One who values their life since they’re having to remind everyone of my state. Come on, eyes, get that sensation back already before they suppress it fully…. Wait… that’s off.

Though his body felt numb and distant from him, he could tell the usual suppressants to keep him down weren’t flowing through his system. Recalling the clicking, he waited for his body and mind to be taken from him again. But nothing happened. But that faint buzzing in the back of his mind didn’t fade.

“I don’t disagree. But as it stands now, we risk losing the patient if we don’t being the removal procedure immediately.” That male voice spoke again.

Something is wrong. Catastrophic level. Must be dire if they are slipping up and missing steps. I may have a chance before one of the Elders shows up… Come on body…

Exerting what strength he had, his eyes scrunched together several times until they cracked open, only to slam shut due to a bright light. He went through the same motions again, this time opening his eyes more slowly so they could adjust. As they did, everything was a hazy blur before his vision cleared. Red glass greeted his eyes as well as a silhouette on the other side of it. He could feel the person touching the mask, clearing it of the liquid and fog on the outside.

Older male with glasses. And a young female. Don’t recognize the faces. Thaddeus made notes in his mind. But why should he care? Not like he’d remember any of them again once he was back under.

“Okay, all non-essential personnel have been removed. This place isn’t as sterile as I would like, Tygan.” Dr. Tyler said. “I wish we had more time to prepare. Who knows if the Elders have been keeping his immune system healthy?”

Thaddeus heard someone faintly curse in the background before muttering that never crossed his mind.

“I don’t disagree, Tyler. Do you have the injections prepared? Just in case…?” Dr. Tygan asked.

“Prepared and maintained months ago. Have to see if I can get the Medical team to make an isolated suite for him once we get him out of this suit.”

“Good. A wise plan. Let’s also send any and all vitals monitoring data currently being pulled from the suit to the team.”

He felt another click, followed by a twist and a lock to the side of the helmet.

“We’re ready.” The young female voice said.

There seemed to be a pause as Tygan was examining something.

“Good. Then let’s get on with it.” The gruff male voice was closer than before.

“John…” Tyler nearly hissed. “You should be in the Infirmary. That patch-up isn’t—.”

“I’m fine, doctor.” But a stifled grunt following that statement said otherwise.

Tch. Someone’s stubborn. Thaddeus chuckled in his mind. With how militant they are, would guess they’re an Officer, but don’t have that flanging voice. Unless the Elders are trying to make ones that sound more human.

And he got his answer as the man came into view. Another human. Older. Face matches the attitude. Can’t say I don’t like it.

Tygan’s hand moved around the helmet, one sitting dead center on the helmet. There was a click, then a high-pressured hiss as air escaped.

If he could have hissed, he would have as the faceplate to the helmet was removed and the full unfiltered light hit his eyes. And the pressure change made his ears popped. And that buzzing sensation spiked for a moment.

More protocols are being skipped. Yeah, something is wrong wrong. That buzzing is getting stronger. Feeling the feedback. They didn’t disconnect me properly.

“Remarkable.” Tygan said.

“Just like 20 years ago...” Bradford said. There was a faint waver in his voice. A mix of excitement that the Commander, his friend, was alive. But also pain as memories of the past came to the forefront of his mind.

“Move back, please.” Tyler nearly shoved Bradford out of the way.

He grumbled before continuing his thought. “… we were still calling it a war back then. We had no idea what was coming.”

It took some time for the pain in Thaddeus’ ears to fade; the buzzing stayed the same. As it did, his eyes fluttered open, nearly sealing shut again as another bright light shined in them. With a few blinks, he adjusted to all of it.

“His pupils are dilating and tracking just fine.” Tyler said. “And… hm.”

Now he had a better look at her. All of them, but he focused on her. Pale to fair skin. Black hair. And she wore red-tinted glasses that were hanging halfway off of her face. She looked to be the only one wearing a face mask. Looked like someone cared.

“Hm?” Tygan pressed.

“You’ll see.” She took a step back.

Tygan’s eyes lit up before he leaned in. “I see.”

Shock was apparent on Bradford’s face. Tyler had to put a hand on his chest to keep him from leaning in too far. “What the hell? These scars… His eyes… His eye.”

Though it had been 20 long years since Bradford had seen Thaddeus last, he remembered the Commander’s scars. Three slashes on the left side of his face. Got them in a knife fight. Two were just on the corner of his lips, bother starting from his chin and one nearly going to his nose, and the third was the corner of his jaw going halfway up his cheek. And the other scar was on the right side of his face. Scattered scars caused by a glancing bullet. They started at the corner of his jaw and went halfway up and across his cheek.

Yet there were new ones. A vibrant red slash of a mark trailing across the bridge of his nose and face. Bradford’s mind quickly figured the Muton that nearly cracked his skull open caused that when he was captured. But the other one was shocking. Twice over. His eyes. Both eyes had a few dark red scar-like tears underneath them. And his left eye… the sclera of his left was pitch black while the iris was blue and glowing. The other eye looked normal, with a light hazel brown iris.

“Doctors…” Bradford turned to them.

“It’s not an immediate worry.” Tyler said.

“But it has been noted.” Tygan added. “Let’s see his other vitals. Lily. Tyler.”

“We’re monitoring.” Both answered in unison.

Guess the Elders didn’t warn them that They did a number on my face. Sometimes he wondered if he still looked human.

Feeling that buzz in the back of his head grow, Thaddeus closed his eyes tightly as the faintest of grunts came out. For a moment, everything went black as a memory forcefully shoved itself to the forefront of his mind. Memories of the past. The War with the aliens. XCOM. The main HQ. What was happening around the world.

It all flashed by at a sickening pace. He could feel the old stress reverberate through every part of his body.

Ugh… the feedback.

As quickly as it all came, it faded. The world and his vision came back.

“… response from the cerebral cortex. Good. Prepping for cranial intrusion.”

He barely caught the words of Dr. Tygan as he came to again. But what he saw next caused another set of memories to come crashing in. The device the doctor had raised, activated, and brought to his face, reminded him of what had happened 20 years ago when the aliens had him.

They had him. Body immobilized in some alien surgery table. There was an Elder there. Or were there two? It didn’t matter. The Elder was scouring his mind, keeping it subdued as they gave instructions to a Thin Man. It held a device just like the doctor, more alien in design. They brought it to his face, opened his mouth, and inserted it. The moment he felt it pierce the back of his throat, he felt his mind fully being arrested from him. His prison for the next 20 years.

His mind stayed on the memory for an uncomfortable amount of time. He was barely conscious of what this Tygan was doing but could feel he was examining his mouth and making incisions.

“… I’ve managed to identify the connection. Different from the standard practice… Preparing to make the final incision.”

Thaddeus felt the cold metal touch his tongue and press further back before it suddenly stopped.

“These readings are getting really erratic.” Shen said, voice laced with concern.

“Of course they are. These—” Tygan said. Before he could continue, Tyler butted in.

Tyler cursed under her breath. “I’m seeing some sort of feedback on his nervous system. Pathways across his brain are lighting up. The abrupt removal from the System must be the cause…”

“There is that possibility, too. These implants were never designed to be removed. Especially his… We are risking severe—”

“No Plan B here people.” Bradford cut them off. “Do it!”

As Thaddeus came to again, the doctor had another similar but different colored device in his hand and inserted it. He felt a pinch and then a pull. With that pull, he felt a surge of electric pain course through his body as whatever it was was pulled out. As it passed the threshold of his mouth, he felt the oppressive buzz in the back of his mind disappear. His thoughts felt… freer. But only for a moment, as more memories came crashing through.

They jumped back and forth during those long few, painful years of the War and the World submitting to alien rule. The cities wiped off the map. The millions killed. The peace treaties. The formation of this ADVENT. The bases under attack. The explosions. Fires. That smell. That Muton that rushed him. He barely deflected two strikes before the third found his face. The whole world came crashing down that day.

Then his mind flashed forward. To his imprisonment in this Tactical Network ADVENT used. It jumped from ADVENT soldier to soldier, their viewpoints as they oppressed the world. Then his mind jumped again. To several instances when the Elders would pull him from the system, from out of the suit to experiment on him and pull at his mind. He spiraled down, down, down.

“Doctors!” Shen yelled. The vitals looked worse.

“This was a possibility… the feedback is growing worse.” Tyler said tersely.

Thaddeus let out a yell. His back arched as he rose from the table as that strangled yell came out. It sounded sounded like two beings were screaming as one. Something inside was breaking. Then everything went black.

That startled everyone.

All the vitals spiked before they crashed. His back hit the table with a hard thud. A long eerie beep filled the room as the doctors worked to bring him back.

“No signal…” Shen said.

“No, no, no…” Bradford muttered. How he wished he could do something, but it was out of his purview. “Come on Thadd, you can beat this.”

For Thaddeus, everything was still dark. Like a void had swallowed him. Body, mind, and soul. But he felt something. Something reached out to him. It felt familiar, but cold at first. As it enveloped him, it became a warm embrace.

No. He felt his voice in his mind. A series of his voice in different tones and then another. One that sounded more alien as it had a wispy echo to its voice. Now is not our time to die.

He could see it, faintly piercing through the darkness. A ghostly four-armed form reached out to him. He felt something click and connect in his mind and body, weaving together that something that broke just as everything went dark.

It is not our time. Stay strong. Endure as I have. Endure till we meet again.

Then he felt more connections. Other voices. They sounded both human and alien. He too could feel them reinforcing what the other was doing to his body and mind. No. It is not time for you to perish. Let his work be for naught. Let their work be for naught. Rise again, human. Rise again, Ethereal one. This world still has a chance at freedom. Before the Broken One finds and consumes your world.

Then he felt one more. Or was is it two? Either way, they were cold. Very cold. Like the deep abyss of the ocean. He felt this connection sweep around him, drowning that warm embrace as it touched his body in several places. Then something caressed his head. A whisper soon followed.

The ichor flows. I taste the pain. He tastes your pain and the same with your world. The voice shifted to the other side of his head. Will you embrace and choose life? The voice shifted again to the other side. Or find release from your torture in oblivion?

He felt this voice grow closer until he felt those other connections suddenly snap at it and push it away.

Away with you. Sad, twisted thing.

Before it was fully pushed away, it parted with one last thing.

Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

As the feeling surged through him, it all faded. The world was coming back. Thaddeus let out a series of pained gasps.

That eerie, droning beep was replaced by a more steady one. The tense atmosphere in the room had faded.

Thaddeus’ eyes fluttered open again only for him to close them. Or attempt to as a hand forced them back open.

“… pupillary response normal. Vitals stabilizing. Procedure complete.” Tygan said. A smile graced his face.

A faint grunt left Thaddeus’ lips as soon as the doctor’s hands were off his face. He slowly shook his head. It took him a moment to realize he could somewhat move. He was usually more immobilized than this.

“Told ‘em it would take more than that to keep you down.” Bradford said. He shifted to look at the man. A faint smirk graced his face. Just who was he? “Welcome back… Commander.”

Commander? Does he know me? He couldn’t recognize the man’s face or voice. No, no, no… this could be an elaborate trick by the Elders. Wouldn’t be the first time They forced a “rescue” scenario in my mind to break me.

Thaddeus studied his face as long as he could, trying to connect him with someone from the past but nothing ever clicked before he passed out again.

“Let him rest.” Tyler said. “His vitals have stabilized, but his neural pathways are quite sensitive. I’m picking up faint psionic readings too.”

“I will, doctor.” Bradford rolled his eyes. “I’ll pay a visit a few hours after you guys have moved him. Need to prep some things for him to read.”

“Sounds good and—” She paused as she caught what he meant. “Not so fast with that.”

“What now?”

“We will have to piecemeal that information. He’s been stuck in that prison for 20 years. We have no idea what his mental state may be. Hell, we don’t know just exactly what the Elders did to him besides the theories!”

Bradford wanted to roll his eyes. “I know. I’m not going to share sensitive information with him. I know how that could make him spiral. It’s just the basics. I’ll have Dr. Veer go over it and talk to you.”

Tyler opened her mouth before slamming it shut. “Fine. Fine. I’ll be waiting for her contact. And get your butt to the Infirmary so they can treat your wounds.”

Bradford was about to talk back, but a solid shove from Shen cut him off.

“I’ll make sure he gets there!” Shen said. “Come on uncle~” She said. She faintly giggled when Bradford told her to watch the shoving. “I’ll keep you guys in the loop as I go over the details we pulled from the suit.”

“Thank you, Shen.” Tygan said. “We will be out of your Workshop shortly once the team gets here with the gurney so we can more him to the sterile room. Once we have removed the patient from the suit, we will be sending it down to the Labs. Your workers can collaborate with mine.”

“Got it, doc!”

With a few more shoves, Shen got Bradford out of the room and upstairs to the Infirmary before heading back to her Workshop. As she reached the Workshop, the doctors were moving the Commander out and up to the Infirmary.

———————————————

The Infirmary. They had cordoned off some space in the back to act as the “sterile room” for the Commander.

At the moment, they were moving from the gurney onto a more advanced medical bed. They connected various tubes and wires to the suit to take his current vitals before disconnecting everything. All was looking good.

Now they just had to remove him from the Stasis Suit. They hoped this task would be much calmer than what had happened when they removed the chip. Thaddeus was still unconscious.

Much to the doctors’ annoyance, Bradford was poking his head in now and then while he was getting his gunshot wounds treated. Eventually, Tyler relented and told him he could enter after his treatment was done, he was fully sterilized and wore some PPE. She figured since he knew Thaddeus well, perhaps he would pick up if anything was off with his body that the files they recovered from old Archives wouldn’t tell. He had pointed out the scars and discolored eye earlier.

And perhaps this would keep the Acting Commander calmer and keep him from interrupting their work.

“Lift him carefully. We still don’t know the level of atrophy his body has suffered.” Tygan said.

“Let’s get the bottom section of that helmet off.” Tyler said.

With a few clicks and some more hissing, the bottom half of the helmet opened and began to disconnect.

“What the…” Tyler noticed something interesting. “Tygan, get over here.”

“Hm?” He came over and peered over his shoulder. Both brows raised. “That is… unexpected.”

“I’ve never seen something like this. Or the implants.”

As she was pulling away the bottom half, there were several tendrils connecting Thaddeus to several ports inside of the helmet. They looked organic, a translucent fluid dripped from them as they faintly wriggled. And then, towards the back of his head, there was something faintly golden. Until the helmet was removed, she couldn’t get a better look at it.

“They line up to the ports one would find on an ADVENT Hybrid.” Tygan took note.

“Correct. Still, I have never seen anything like this. How are we going to remove this? I don’t want to cut them just in case that could cause issues.”

“Hm.” Tygan examined them for a while longer. “Continue the removal process. Perhaps they will disconnect once enough tension is applied.”

Tyler just nodded and continued.

As she did so, the tendril tensed, pulling back against her for just a moment before releasing their grip on the helmet. As they did so, they retreated back into Thaddeus’ flesh, sealing the hidden ports like they never existed.

“Full body scans are in order once he’s out of this. And let’s check the data banks for any info on these kind of implants.” Tyler said.

Bradford entered the room just as Tyler had pried off the helmet and they were starting to open the suit. He didn’t catch what they had initially witnessed with the tendrils, but noticed something more shocking to him.

“What the hell is wrong with his neck?”

Wrapping around the majority of the back of Thaddeus’ neck, partially creeping towards the front, was a massive gnarled scar. The flesh was a mix of red and pink tones. That wasn’t there 20 years ago. If he recalled correctly, a tattoo was there. Flowers. He couldn’t recall the type of flowers, but he remember they were flowers there in the past.

“And what the hell is that!?”

Then the other thing that caught his eye was more concerning. One just below his shaved hairline. It was raised, metal, and golden. It took the shape of a segmented diamond. In the center of it was a circle with a more traditional-looking connection port which was quickly covered by flesh once the helmet was fully removed.

“Calm down, John.” Tyler was not in the mood for his outbursts. “We don’t know. We are taking note of it.”

He quieted himself and just watched.

As they began to remove the suit, Bradford nearly had another outburst as he witnessed the tendrils connected to several hidden ports across his back and there was another similar segmented diamond implant just at the top of his spine. But this one was different. It was raised like the other, but underneath and intersecting some points was a black base with a dark blue outline that took the shape of an inverted triangle. At each point of the triangle, there were three insertion-style ports. These did not cover themselves in flesh once the tendrils retreated, instead, a golden cover appeared over them.

As they continued to remove the suit, a similar implant was found at the base of his spine, but the triangle underneath the diamond was right side up.

Prying the rest of him out, a few more hidden ports were found across his chest and limbs, but nothing like the implants on his back.

“What the hell did They do to you?” Bradford spoke his thoughts as he watched the doctors examine Thaddeus’ back. What he thought was only a scar on the man’s neck extended all the way down his spine. Was his back broken when he was captured? What were those implants for? Many negative thoughts ran through his mind.

He shook his head. He didn’t need to dwell on the negative. That would just drag him into dark places. Instead, he focused on the tattoos.

His eyes bounced from tattoo to tattoo. Taking note of each on that survived. “At least your other tattoos survived.”

The first he noticed was a vine of fan-like leaves trailing up from his left thigh to his left side. Then there were two twisted rose branches full of thorns wrapped around his upper right arm, and the other was just above his left wrist. And the last were two on each shoulder. Three abstract elongated diamond eyes encircling a small star underneath.

It made him smile. “Her handiwork survived.”

“Everything is looking good, according to the preliminary scans.” Tyler said.

“This is remarkable. His body is in good condition despite the years in suspended animation.” Tygan said.

“He looks thinner.” Bradford noted. “He’s lost some muscle mass.”

Tygan nodded. “That was expected. The muscle atrophy is not as dire as we initially assumed. Once he’s awake and more lucid, we can gauge what therapy he will need.”

“Any clue on the implants.?” He asked.

Tygan shook his head. “Nothing matches what we have in the archives. I’ve never seen this during my time with ADVENT. Same with other personnel who worked ‘behind the scenes’. ”

Bradford grumbled at that. “Hm, take some pictures. I want to see if the Skirmishers know anything about this.” They were the first faction to cross his mind. Former ADVENT. They would probably know the various implants the Elders used. Especially the higher-ranking soldiers. “And the Void Walkers, they’re great at finding the obscure.” Another faction that dealt with information and resources trading. They had a knack for getting near-impossible information. For a price, of course.

“Of course. I was thinking the Skirmishers could be of assistance.”

The physical examination continued for a few more hours.

Someone finally ushered Bradford out of the Infirmary and to his Quarters for a well-deserved nap. The adrenaline from the operation finally started to wane and they did not want another patient to work on.

———————————————

A few days had passed. Thaddeus was still being kept in the Infirmary. They wouldn’t be moving him until he woke up and they could do some psychological exams.

He was still out. His eyelids would move. A limb would twitch. And some murmurs would leave his mouth, but he didn’t wake up.

The examinations continued through those days. A few were to see if they could cause those hidden ports and tendrils to emerge. Nothing they did could force them out but they noted each location with great accuracy.

Besides the physical tests, they ran some blood tests. His immune system wasn’t neglected, but they still gave him some boosters so he could acclimate to the Avenger and her crew with minor discomfort.

As they sequenced his DNA, comparing it to his old one recovered from one of the old data centers, they noticed there were some changes. With several focusing on his nervous system and synaptic connections. Dr. Tyler wondered if that was why she noticed the psionic activity when they were removing the chip from him. She passed the information over to Dr. Marin and Quinn. That was their expertise.

So far, it didn’t look like alien DNA had been inserted, but more thorough sequencing and scans would be needed.

Bradford’s inquiries with the Skirmishers lead nowhere. None of them had seen implants like that. The implants they, their kin, and the aliens had were rarely ever hidden and they knew nothing about the diamond ones.

He was still waiting for a reply back from the Void Walkers. They supposedly had a lead but wanted to double-check it. Bradford was a fine client. They didn’t want to lose him if their information was poor.

For now, XCOM worked on gathering more resources, hunting down leads, expanding its reach, and preparing for the next batch of operations.

#Xcom #Xcom 2 #Xcom wotc #Xcom fic #OC: Thaddeus Seaver #*Thaddeus Seaver #Commander Seaver #writings #fic writings

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etherealvoidechoes · 4 months ago

Text

Rage Against the Dying of the Light Pt 4 of 4

No chapter blurb for now

The usual warnings for blood, violence, and language. Some suicidal thoughts and previous attempted misguided murder.

Ao3|| FF.net|| Fic Wiki Hub

1||2||3||4 (You are here)

Approx. 7.8k

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Thaddeus was out for some days. That psionic outburst combined with the mental breakdown utterly exhausted him.

The doctors took advantage of that. Several scans and tests were done. The doctors confirmed that he was not only a latent psionic, but also that several edits to his genetic structure amplified his abilities. To what extent? They didn’t know. More invasive examinations would be needed.

Under Dr. Marin’s orders, the team took several precautions to prepare for another uncontrolled release of psionic energy. With the help of Shen and her team, they were able to cobble together a psi shield generator that would be placed near the bed and would turn on as soon as one of the detectors went off.

Additionally, all the personnel working in with Thaddeus would be required to wear a personal mindshield; which in turn forced the medical team dedicated to him to work in smaller shifts, since they didn’t have many of those things to go around.

Despite Dr. Marin’s warnings — per Bradford’s chewing out — someone attempted to put a psionic-dampening collar on Thaddeus only to have that blow up in their face. Literally.

As soon as that collar snapped shut, Thaddeus writhed in agony. The psionic detectors went off. A second later, blue energy coursed through Thaddeus’ body, all rushing towards his neck. The energy visibly crackled across the collar until several pops were heard and the clamps blew off. The energy dissipated once it fell off, and Thaddeus continued his uneasy sleep.

Marin wasn’t too pleased to hear of the incident, and worked hard to keep it from reaching Bradford, but relayed the information to the rest of his team and Shen’s team to start working on something stronger for the future.

Marin put in a request with Bradford — skirting the topic the best he could — to see if he could get his hands on more of the ADVENT-dampening collars and Sectoid corpses. Especially any collars made for strong psions. Bradford said he would see what he could do. He’d hit up his Resistance contacts and the Black Market to see if they had any extras.

———————————————

Once Veer was back in good health, Bradford had a few discussions with her. First, he apologized for the necklace gambit. Who knew it would cause such a mess, but it looked like it was the key to finally breaking through Thaddeus’ disbelief.

Second, he asked how she was doing. She was doing better but would be taking it slow until she was nearly 100% again. The unpleasantness of Thaddeus’ psionics still had her rattled. It wasn’t too dissimilar to a Sectoid’s or the Elders’ touch. But it left her both emotionally and physically drained.

Third, he brought up what happened between him and Thaddeus. The mind meld and something was there. Some entity, alien or psionic, was there. Much to his annoyance, he couldn’t recall what he saw and heard, as the memory had grown more distant. But whatever it was, it was unpleasant. He could feel it touching, prodding, goading. Whatever it was, it liked to pick at and savor intense emotions.

Veer found what he told her perplexing. She couldn’t recall from her time with ADVENT of the Elders of having some sort of alien that sounded like that in Their retinue or “implanting” a psionic being into a test subject, but she also remembered she was just one branch of hundreds of twisted experiments. Anything was possible.

With Bradford’s permission, she tentatively probed his mind and being with her psionics. There was still a great deal of lingering energy from Thaddeus’ outburst, but she was picking up faint traces of something stubbornly clinging on to it and him. She probed a little further until Bradford abruptly told her to stop with some anger. Similar to how he would usually snap at Corvo when the man prodded too far with his jokes.

He too was shocked by his sudden outburst, unsure why he’d done that until a memory surfaced. The Nigeria base years ago.

Veer asked if she could prod again. She knew that was a sensitive subject.

At first, he was going to tell her no, as he didn’t want to relive that day again, but he had a faint feeling she would find something. So he begrudgingly gave in, as long as she helped him deal with the turmoil he was going to slip into.

She readily agreed, telling him to clear his schedule before beginning her search again. It didn’t take her long to figure out what that something had wrapped itself around. That painful, sorrow-filled memory. Still, whatever it could be had her stumped, but she agreed with his earlier assessment. Whatever it was, it liked intense emotions.

For his safety, she barred him from returning to the Infirmary until all of that energy dissipated. Bradford objected until she brought up the potential of another mind meld happening between him and Thaddeus and who knew if the second time would be much worse. He reluctantly agreed, but told her to keep him updated on all things. She agreed.

She logged all the information into her notes; making sure to restrict it to her eyes only, and a few select others. This was information that if leaked, would cause an uproar on the ship.

For the rest of the day, she helped Bradford keep his head on straight as several nasty memories and unpleasant suicidal thoughts had been roused.

———————————————

With her health nearly 100%, and armed with a beefed-up mind shield, Dr. Veer returned to the Infirmary to begin some cursory probes into Thaddeus psionics and mind. She was taking advantage of him still being unconscious and hoped his psionics would be less active.

For the next few days, off and on for a few hours during her check-ins, she cautiously poked at Thaddeus’ psionics with her own to test their reactivity. A push here. A pull there. Would they snap back and attack her? Would they try to invade her brain if she went too deep?

They played nice, if not being a little guarded when pushed repeatedly. But no snapbacks. With that reassurance, she took her first deep dive into his mind.

Layer by layer until she hit it. Fractured memories. Edited memories. All that pain, sorrow, grief, and rage. That rage. It was subtle at first, before hitting her like a whirlwind. Biting. Clawing. Tearing. It nearly overwhelmed her; she thought she had seen and felt everything with her unwilling work with ADVENT and then her more grateful service to XCOM. But this… this was different.

She questioned how even had a shred of sanity left. The Hunter came to her mind, along with some other unfortunate subjects. Would Thaddeus even be fit to lead XCOM once he was awake again? The thought crossed her mind several times as she sifted through the mess. He was going to be an interesting fractured puzzle for her to mend.

As her observations and probings continued, she noticed something strange. Interesting, if she could call that. Some of those tampered memories were correcting themselves via his psionics. She wasn’t sure if that was even possible. She carefully examined it and found something else strange. It felt like there was another force intertwined with his psionics. She didn’t know what to make of it — it didn’t remind her of the Elders — and quickly backed off when she felt it push back when she went too far. That would be something to study later and share with the psionics team.

Before she finished, she noticed how those surface memories were reordering themselves and focusing on XCOM. On old faces. Old friends. Bradford. Corvo. Shay. Matching themselves to the “current” time-worn versions.

Faintly, she could hear the outburst days earlier when he accused them of being liars, and everything was just some elaborate trick. As quickly as it appeared, it was growing more and more silent as the sounds of weeping overtook it. It was just cries of apologies for attacking them, for trying to kill them. For nearly killing Bradford. Everything was real. It wasn’t fake. It wasn’t a twisted mind game.

She wondered how many times he had suffered such a horrible reality.

As she was wrapping up her investigations, she felt those faint traces of something she found tethered to that nasty memory in Bradford in Thaddeus, but it was scattered throughout his being. It was like sand. Ever shifting, sneaking into every crevice, and hard to remove. She just made several notes of it, especially how much clung to that angry side of Thaddeus. That worried her.

Once she finished her investigations, she went about preparing her future work on the journey of mending his mind and soul. It was going to be her toughest work yet. She shot off a few messages to Marin and his team. She felt like a great deal of psionic testing would be in Thaddeus’ future.

She left a note of the medical staff treating Thaddeus to alert her when he woke up as well as have security on standby just in case the man would be volatile.

Once she had all her thoughts gathered, she updated Bradford and the others on what she found, what his potential mental state would be when he woke up, and smoother details.

There was a chance for it to still be volatile, but she had a strong feeling he was going to be more docile and cooperative.

———————————————

Another day. Another dawn. Or was it dusk?

It didn’t exactly matter to Bradford’s exhausted brain. He had just come back from a week-long field operation. They had some new supplies, sabotaged an ADVENT train route, and recovered some alien tech. Additionally, they got something the Void Walkers wanted and, in turn, the Void Walkers gave them some newly made ADVENT-issued psi-dampening collars. Sometimes he wondered how they could procure such equipment, but knew it was better than to ask questions.

Currently, Bradford was at the Bar. Not to drink. Thankfully.

Still in full gear, he was slumped down on one of the coaches, head thrown back and hanging just by the edge of the headrest. Initially, he was just passing through, but that coach called to him like a siren and he could not resist. He was not making it to his Quarters.

He was out for a good 30 minutes before a worker nudged him awake.

“Rrgh…” He groggily grumbled as he came to. “This better be good.”

He was about ready to curse them out if it wasn’t. What they said next made him alert.

“Thaddeus is awake, sir. Dr. Veer requests you come to the Infirmary. Corvo and Shay are indisposed.”

He hopped to his feet, thanked them, and hurried off.

———————————————

Bradford arrived at the Infirmary in a few minutes.

It had some patients. There were a few moans, grunts, and bickering from the few soldiers who were currently being treated, but everything was calm.

He made his way to the back of the room, to that cordoned-off area they had the Commander in.

As he pulled back the sheets, he saw Dr. Veer sitting to the right of the bed. Then he saw Thaddeus. The man was awake. Still restrained to the bed. His mood was dower. He was fiddling with something in one hand. It took him a second, but he saw it was the necklace.

Hearing the metal rings of the curtain shift, Dr. Veer looked up. She raised a brow, seeing he was still in his gear. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything?”

“No, you didn’t. Didn’t have time to take this off.” He reassured her. “Hope it’s not a problem.”

She looked him up and down. At least he doesn’t have that over-modified rifle. But the knife could be a risk. “It shouldn’t be. How’s the nose and hand?” She noticed most of the bruising on his face and neck was gone, but he still had a stint on his nose.

“Both are better. It’s like he never broke my hand.” He raised his right hand and flexed his fingers. There was no hint of pain or stiffness. They still were trying to figure out how the psionics helped the healing process. “So, how is he?”

“So far, fine. Just unresponsive at the moment.”

She went on to show and explain all the latest scans. Everything was positive. Though on the psionic side, that was still a tentative mess. Things were in check now, but occasionally there was a spike here and there. She believed it was his emotional state causing it, but didn’t discount that other presences intertwined with his psionics.

Bradford nodded along, doing his best to decipher the more scientific terms. Hearing about the psionics worried him. He did not want to have to deal with those again. He never liked them. Even when it came from friendlies. But there was something about Thaddeus’ that was wrong. There was so much rage and pain in them. And then that thing could be there.

“So…” He glanced at Thaddeus. Seemed like he was off in his own world. Still no acknowledgment of his arrival. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Veer sighed. For once, she felt stumped on what subject they could start with. “Perhaps—”

“John.” Thaddeus finally spoke. He still didn’t look up. “John… Bradford…” His tongue held onto each word for a minute before letting go.

Bradford didn’t respond. He glanced at Veer. He felt a tap on his mind before hearing her voice.

I think that’s your sign. Take it. She gestured. I’ll keep a connection going.

Before he could speak, Thaddeus finally looked at them. Looked at him. His eyes were exhausted; his face was tear-stained.

“Yes?” Bradford said. He took a step forward.

He sniffled. “I… remember you. Remember XCOM. Shen. Vahlen. Shay. Corvo. Jynn, Kamon, Elli… So many others. So many damn others…” He paused as a weak chuckle came out. “You’re not fake. None of this is fake.”

Bradford closed his eyes as he heard that. Part of him was relieved. Looked like that chaos bore some fruit. But the other part felt a new sensation of dread eating at the back of his mind. Fake.

Dr. Veer had explained what the Elders had most likely done during their debriefings. Something those bastards did to many test subjects if they had used as some thrall. He was still wrapping his head around that. It sounded like senseless torture. Especially if the theories of what the Elders were using him for were true.

“We’re real. Still fighting the good fight.” Bradford nodded.

There was silence again. Thaddeus was studying his old friend’s face, comparing it to the memory from 20 years ago. He looked so different. In a way, he barely resembled himself.

“What did They do to you?” Thaddeus asked. “What happened?”

Bradford put on a smile. ”The Elders never got Their hands on me that day. Just the stress of the world going to hell and trying to survive did a number on me.” That was an understatement. “The years were rough until I found some like-minded misfits and then old friends.” His eyes drifted down as he thought of the late Dr. Shen. “And then I picked up some bad habits. Still kicking some.”

“Mhm.” He listened. He had seen some of those memories during their last scuffle. He looked back down and to his hand. He continued to fidget with the necklace. Old friends. “Dr. Shen… Vahlen… Are they here?”

Had a feeling. Bradford had to keep himself from reflexively sighing. Both were sensitive topics. “No, sadly. We lost contact with Vahlen some years ago after an incident. Still searching for her and her crew. And Raymond…” If I wasn’t out running an op that day, would he still be alive? He was already up in age… “He passed some years ago. Securing this vessel,” he gestured around them, “came with some costs. The Avenger. His finest work. His daughter continues today.”

Thaddeus’ fingers tightened upon hearing the news. Two faces he would most likely never see again except in photographs. If those had survived.

Wait. Something clicked in his mind. Daughter. He recalled a female called Shen when they were pulling him out of that suit. He couldn’t quite remember if the good doctor had a daughter. Some memories from the past were distant.

“You said ‘daughter’?” He asked, looking at him again. “That Shen I heard when I was being pried out of that prison… Is she…?”

Bradford nodded. “That’s his daughter. An-Yi Shen. Prefers we call her Lily.”

Thaddeus’ eyes glanced around as he tried to find something in his memories. Something was there, but it was faint. Maybe she was mentioned in passing? “Ah.” He just nodded.

Silence crept back in.

Bradford and Veer were whispering, thinking of what they could bring up next.

Thaddeus was digesting the information and searching though his less foggy memories. It was still a scattered mess. But his mind focused on the fall of XCOM, his capture, and his long imprisonment as the Elders’ pawn. The things They did to him. It was hard to recall all of it, but he was sure he nearly died a few times under Their “tender care.”

Well, one cared more than the others… I think. He could faintly recall one Elder who seemed to be more concerned with his health. Or he thought. It was hard to tell with how broken the memories were, but the Elder was ticked off 90% of the time They worked on him. The other 10%… he wondered if those memories were more hallucinations, but that particular Elder sounded pleasant and less haughty and hypocritical than the others. As well as treating its underlings with respect; none of it was in a backhanded way. It was strange.

What can change the nature of a man? What can truly change it? The soft-spoken voice, with a faint rasp, of that Elder played in his mind. A strange one They were. Always speaking Their thoughts. Always talking to him, though he was barely conscious and had no way of replying with that chip arresting his senses away from him.

He closed his eyes tight and let out a sharp exhale. Let’s talk about that next. Want to get it out of my mind. Maybe give them a point of reference to start hunting for some answers.

“I was captured when they hit all the bases.” Thaddeus spoke.

Hearing that made Bradford and Veer freeze. Not the subject they thought they would be touching any time soon. A hint of worry entered Veer’s eyes as she noticed his brainwaves and psionic levels spiking.

“They did… things to me… that chip…” Rage was slowly entering Thaddeus’ voice. His eyes began to glow. Faint wisps of psionic energy formed around his head. “I’ve been Their prisoner for 20. Long. Years.” Just as the pot was about to boil over, he let out a sharp exhale. The energy dissipated. “20 long freakn’ years.”

Bradford moved closer to him again. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on his shoulder. That just made the man sigh. “You were aware while in that thing?” Bradford asked. Something all of them were curious to know.

“Partially.” A faint growl rumbled in his throat. “The lucidity came when They needed to take me out of maintenance or experiments. My memories are… fragmented… at best. But they were using me for something sinister.”

Bradford didn’t even have to glance at Veer. With the psionic connection she had going, he could feel the knots growing in her stomach. For him, there was a growing disgust.

“So… you guys searched for me, all these years?” Thaddeus asked. Part of him was having a hard time believing it.

“Yeah. Maybe not a first, but when I rejoined the others and learned how things went for the…” Bradford’s voice trailed off as a painful memory took him. Those eyes closed tight like a vise as she shook his head. A sharp exhale followed before a sharp inhale. “The Sister Branches. It looked like the Elders wanted to capture the leaders. What happened to the others is still up in the air, but I remember that Muton that grabbed you.”

“Hm.” He listened. For a moment, he wondered why he trailed off before a sudden pain made him wince. A memory came forth, not his own. He understood. “And what if you guys found me dead?”

Another sharp exhale came from Bradford. Something that had been discussed several times. A nightmare scenario he hated to entertain. “We’d still keep up the fight despite the great loss. Rather die free than a slave of Theirs.”

“Tch. Heh.” He shook his head. “Foolhardy.” He liked that.

“How it is.”

Silence crept back in.

“Thank you…” Thaddeus said. He looked at Veer and then back at Bradford. There was a smile on his face. “Thank all of you for never giving up the search.”

“Anything for a friend.” Bradford smile. Veer simply nodded.

Bradford took a step back to give him some room. And then Veer wanted to discuss some things. Just the psionic readings. The off-and-on spikes were concerning. She wanted to probe Thaddeus’ mind but had a feeling he would have a potentially negative reaction. Bradford would see if he could broach the subject for her.

As they chatted, Thaddeus leaned back deep into the pillows on the bed. He looked up at the ceiling. Eyes jumping from routed wire to exposed ceiling panel. Looked like things were still in the works here.

He wondered how they found this ship. From the bits and pieces he had pulled from Bradford’s memory, when he tried to kill him, he knew the alien origin of the ship.

He quietly chuckled to himself. I faintly recall during my more lucid moments, the Elders had a knack for misplacing some assets unless they were important. That was the most likely answer. Sekat’kra! He cursed in his mind and chuckled as some fragmented memories of his more lucid moments when out of the system came to his mind. Arguments between the Collective over lost test subjects and facility issues. How many assets have they lost track of?

He chuckled to himself some more before pausing. The hell does Sekat’kra mean? Somehow, part of his brain knew it had alien origins but lacked the meaning. A mild bother, something he could ask them to investigate.

His mind drifted back to the present.

“20 years… so much to catch up on…” He just started speaking his thoughts.

It had taken some time for it to set in — and in many ways, part of his mind was rejecting it — but that was such a terrifying thing to dwell on. He knew the world was different. So many were dead or altered by the Elders. He wondered if any of his family was still alive.

“Tch.” He sucked on his teeth. Well, the ones I didn’t send to their deaths. You guys fought valiantly to light up those skies. Burned those UFOs real good.

He barely noticed Bradford coming back. Nor did he notice the first restraint was undone. It wasn’t until Bradford had gone around and undid all of them, and come back over to the right, did it click when he could twist his wrist without discomfort.

“Sorry about your current… arrangements.” Bradford said.

“I attacked people. Nearly killed you…” Thaddeus’ voice trailed off. Not something he wanted to think about. That damn thing got under my skin. “Sorry… about that.”

Bradford just raised his hands. “No hard feelings. Truthfully, I think several of us would have done the same if we were in your place. Once Veer,” he thumbed back at her, “and the other docs run some more tests, we’ll get you up in your Quarters. May even have some reading material for you to get that brain of yours going.” He tossed in a little joke.

“Tests… will they— I have my own room?” The latter was more interesting for him.

“It’s been ready for you for years, buddy.” He chuckled. “Though, I’ve crashed in a few times as I’ve been Acting Commander in your absence.” Just thinking of that bed made a wave of tiredness come over him. But with a few blinks, he pushed it back.

Thaddeus snorted. “‘Acting Commander’?” He faintly recalled hearing that a few times.

Reflexively, Bradford’s shoulders fell. “It’s been rough… How did you and the others do it, day in and day out?” He felt it was only dealing with a drop compared to the sea of stress they had to deal with.

Thaddeus rolled his eyes. More or so thinking of how it was a madhouse some days back them. “One step at a time. Tilki.”

Bradford’s brows raised. Tilki. Did he hear that correctly? “I haven’t heard that nickname in years…”

“Some nicknames are coming back to me.” He raised his free hand and started to count off each one. “Tilki, Numbers, Panpa, Think Thank, Hakim, aaaaaand,” he paused for dramatic effect, “Johnny.”

As each nickname for him(and some others) was rattled off, a smile grew bigger and bigger on Bradford’s face. Then it came to that last one. His brow twitched. “You know I hate that one.”

He grinned. “I recall that well.” He usually savored every wince when he used that name back then. “Only used it to get your attention when you drowned yourself in your work.”

“Sure, suuuuure.” Bradford rolled his eyes. He could recall that nickname was used to rile him up when they were off duty.

They both laughed.

“So about the… tests?” Thaddeus asked, hesitantly. His eyes drifted off to Veer. She was currently looking at her tablet, but those tired eyes glanced up.

“It’s…” Bradford was unsure what to say. “Veer?”

She held in a snort. Broach the subject for me? She sent a teasing thought before taking over. “There will be a multitude of tests. Physical examinations, as you’ve been in stasis for 20 years, yet your muscle atrophy is fairly minimal. Physiological examinations. Again, 20 years in stasis, and I can only imagine the horrid experiments afflicted on you. I will be handing those. And psionic examinations. I will be working jointly with Dr. Marin and his team. As I’m sure you’ve noticed… you’re a latent psionic.”

She continued to explain the psychological and psionic examinations in further detail, emphasizing that it wouldn’t be a one-and-done session. There would be several, especially for the psychological part. She emphasized his mental state was precarious. Both from what the Elders did to him and the shock of the world he found himself in.

Thaddeus listened intently. He wasn’t too fond of the idea of all the examinations but knew they were necessary. Especially, the psychological and psionic ones. The idea of having his mind picked at figuratively and mentally irked him. But he knew it was necessary. Back in the Old War, even before that time, he saw what an unsound mind could do to a person. Especially a soldier. How many suicides did I stop and fail to stop? He didn’t want to become that.

“Psionics…” Thaddeus muttered. What were the chances? Was he always one? Or did the Elders make him one? “Vahlen…” He was recalling something. He shook his head as a pained smile crept across his face. “I wonder what Vahlen would say if she was here right now?”

“Mild jabs that you should have let her do that testing and shove you into one of those sarcophagi.” Bradford shook his head before a chuckle slipped out.

“Sounds about right.”

“Dr. Marin will have to fill in for that.”

“That name sounds… familiar.”

“He’s a survivor. He worked closely with Vahlen. Helped kick off the Psionic Divisions research. Doing the same thing now.”

“Huh.” It was nice to hear there was another survivor around.

Veer excused herself for a moment. Someone needed her assistance. She reminded Bradford she’d listen in via their psionic connection.

Topics began to shift.

“John… tell me…” Thaddeus paused. His mind had gone back to the memories he saw the other day before he snapped. Memories he picked up from that necklace. His nails dug into the wood. There was a twinkle forming in his eyes. “What was that man like?”

Bradford had a puzzled look. “Who?”

“The man Lauretta nearly fell in love with, but rejected as she held out hope I was still alive and we’d meet,” his voice cracked, “again.”

Shit. Bradford closed his eyes tight. A no-go topic, but Thaddeus brought it up. He felt a gentle push on his mind from Veer.

Just keep him calm. Denying him may make it worse.

He could agree with that.

Bradford sat on the edge of the bed. He placed his hand on his friend’s arm. He could see that pain ebbing and flowing in him. Tears were streaming. Bradford looked away. His eyes trailed off to the ground as he tried to find his tongue.

“From what I could tell, Leon was a standup guy. Never felt bitter after she rejected him. Understood the loss and was willing to wait. Even if that time never came.” He spoke truthfully.

Leon. That was his name. Thaddeus filed that away. He sucked his teeth a few times before raising his free hand to his face to cover it. He was struggling to hold it in again.

Bradford could feel him tremble. He shifted his hand up to his shoulder and gave it a good squeeze. “I’m sorry, Thadd. Didn’t want you to find out like that…” And he cursed those psionics in his mind. “But sooner or later, we would have had to tell you.”

“It’s okay.” He lied. “It’s ok-kay.” His voice cracked.

It didn’t take long for those good gates to break again. Bradford did his best to comfort him.

Veer eventually returned. To her relief, his vitals were fine. And those psionics were playing nicely.

Sometime later, the sobbing came to an end. He half-heartedly shoved Bradford off so he could have some time to himself.

Bradford left and came back with some towels so he could clean his face.

Giving the man space once more, he started chatting with Veer. They went over the readings and her notes. If Thaddeus was willing to endure some psych evaluations in a few hours, and all went well, they could move him to his Quarters sooner. Bradford liked that. Just as he was going to bring the question up to Thaddeus, he had a question for them.

“What do I look like?” The thought had just crossed his mind. His free hand was touching his face, poking at his features. They felt human, but knew something could be off.

Bradford glanced at Veer. She bit her lip. Their expressions weren’t helping.

“Get a mirror.” Veer sighed. “Please.”

Bradford nodded. He left and came back a few minutes later.

Bradford kept the mirror facing him as he approached Thaddeus. “You still look human. Really, you look like you haven’t aged a day.” That was still a crazy thing to think about. “Minus, you have some new scars and…” He paused. How to describe that eye?

“Quit the pauses and just show me.” Thaddeus said. That commanding tone slipped out.

“It’s something.” He turned the mirror around.

Thaddeus’ eyes went wide. He still looked human and didn’t age day. His head was shaved. Expected. And he had more gray in his eyebrows than he remembered. He noticed the new red scars decorating his nose and part of his face, but those eyes. Those scars around the eyes and the discolored eye got him.

“What…”

He leaned in closer to get a better look. With his finger, he started pulling on the skin and eyelid to see what was going on with that discolored eye. Why is it black…? Why is the iris glowing blue?

It was just several minutes of silence.

“What the hell?” Thaddeus finally pulled back. He looked at the both of them. “Why?”

“No clue.” Bradford shrugged.

“We’re still running tests.” Veer said. “For the eye, I believe it may be connected to your psionics. You seem to be one of the unique ones where there is a permanent eye color change. Though for you, it is just one eye, and the sclera, white of your eye, was affected.”

Thaddeus’ brow twitched. He faintly recalled some psi operatives back during the Old War had permanent eye color changes. Some accepted it. Others were bothered.

“And we’re hunting for all data related to your imprisonment. Which will take some months to find.” Bradford added. He wished they had a little more time when pulling him from that location to hack the system, but they only had one chance for that operation.

“Great… Great.” He was hoping for answers. Looked like he would have to wait.

Then something else clicked in his mind. His brow twitched again. He noticed some scarring on his neck. He raised a hand to the back of his neck and began to feel around. The skin felt off. It was rubbery smooth in some areas and then twisted with divots and raised areas. Then he stopped. Something cool, like metal, brushed against his fingers. Hesitantly, his hand explored it.

He caught the grimace crossing Bradford’s face. And Veer was shooting Bradford a concerned look.

“Talk. Now. Both of you.”

———————————————

The psionic sensors went off for a few minutes before things calmed back down in the Infirmary.

Thaddeus had entered a rage. Thankfully, he didn’t take it out on anyone but the air itself. And the psi shield generator contained the errant energies.

He was more furious at the fact the tattoo he got in memory of his mother was destroyed compared to the strange implants in his back.

“Why the hell would They touch my back? Did they break my freakn’ spine!?” He spat. A small whiplike projection of psionics shot from his tongue. His eyes were still glowing blue.

“We are still running tests and will be doing more intensive scans soon,” Veer did her best to keep a calm voice, “but we are theorizing something happened to require those implants. Perhaps how you were handled during your capture damaged your spine?” That was her best guess.

“Freakn’ figures.” He grumbled. He clawed at his face with his free hand as he stewed in his thoughts.

Why, why, why? With the technology the Elders had, They had to severely mess up to leave him with such a massive scar. His body shuddered as he felt an all too familiar chill trickle down his spine. Then he felt something tapping at his skull.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

“Oh, for the love of…” He mumbled. “FUCK! OFF!” He snapped, slamming both fists on the bed. Psionic energy arched off of him. His eyes darted around the room, trying to spot the thing. So far there was nothing.

The psionic detectors went off again, and the shield activated.

“Thadd?” Bradford had moved back, pulling Veer along with him. She was mumbling under her breath, worried about how the energy levels were growing.

Thaddeus’ eyes locked onto them. There was a tickle, a worm digging into that unsavory side of him, wanting him to lash out at them for taking so long to save him. Another test of their strength if they were worthy of having him once more.

No, no, no. He closed his eyes tight. GO. AWAY. He took in and let out several deep breaths until he calmed down.

“Thadd?” Bradford repeated. He was hesitant to come closer.

He looked at them again before looking away. How to mention what has been bothering me without sounding crazy? He let out another sharp exhale. “I… don’t know how to explain… my—” He caught a shadow forming in the corner of his eye and felt something wrap around his shoulder that wasn’t there. He wanted to curse again but held his tongue. “My… outburst.”

Bradford followed where his eyes were going. He nudged Veer. Remember what I mentioned about the mind meld?

She nodded. Yes, let’s see if he’ll talk about it. “Try us.” Veer said.

———————————————

Hesitantly, Thaddeus explained his outburst. He tried to explain the entity pestering him since he had been freed. How it touched, poked, prodded, and whispered into his ear. At least it hated the Elders as much as they did.

Describing what it looked like was impossible. He never got a clear view of its ever-shifting shadow of a mass. But it described its face. Two halves. One stuck in a mad rictus grin. And the other half was frozen with a sorrowful look.

“And it’s currently whispering. Quieter than usual.” His eyes darted to his left. Part of it was there, a weaker presence than how it usually appeared.

To his surprise, the two were not too disturbed, to put it lightly. It was still a troubling development, nonetheless. Bradford explained how they knew. The unexpected mind meld when Thaddeus nearly killed him. But he couldn’t recall what it looked like but hated its twisted presence.

Veer was an equal amount of intrigued and concerned. This was something else. It hated the Elders. So that just eliminated all of her earlier theories. She had to go back to the drawing board.

“Well… that is… interesting.” Veer mumbled as she finished up her notes. Looking back at Thaddeus, she noticed how he was grimacing at his shoulder. Part of her wanted to reach out and probe his mind but had a feeling without making several contingencies that thing could latch onto that link and cause problems.

She rubbed her face a few times as her mind wondered just what the thing was. “Dr. Marin and I are going to have fun trying to figure this out.” She mumbled.

A faint curse from Thaddeus and one of those sensors going off made her refocus.

“Thaddeus,” she spoke calmly but sternly, “keep your wits about you and stay calm. Whatever that thing is, it likes intense emotions.” She recalled that from her mind probing days ago.

Thaddeus looked at the thing once more before looking back at the doctor. He hoped she was right. It took a fair amount of willpower to ignore the thing to get himself calm again. As the seconds ticked by, the thing grew more quiet. It still lingered, but he could barely hear the whispers.

Oh great… That was going to be an on-and-off trial. He wondered how those future psych exams would go, as he knew digging into his fractured mind was sure to bring about unpleasant memories.

“It’s… quieter. Still lingering.” He eyed his shoulder.

Bradford shook his head. “We will have to keep this confidential. All of it.” Another issue he knew certain individuals on the ship would be all too happy to pounce on.

“Agreed.” Veer said.

“Like the old days.” Thaddeus nodded. Control of information kept their organization from falling apart.

With things settling back down, Veer shifted drafting her messages to the other doctors. Bradford was sending a memo to reinforce the confidentiality of the Commander’s treatment to all involved.

Thaddeus let his mind drift again. He wondered how many on the ship he would recognize. Who survived the fall of XCOM? His mind further drifted back to the personnel in the Old Bases. So many good men and women were most likely dead. So many interesting characters, many who butted heads daily.

A soft chuckle left his lips. He wondered if this current XCOM was a band of misfits.

But as his mind continued to drift, thinking of the conditions they may find the Sister Bases in if they wanted to salvage the old tech. He continued to pick at that wooden necklace; something crossed his mind. Sorrow. A sorrow that didn’t want to leave him as he focused on one of the Sister Bases.

His eyes drifted over to Bradford. They had a shared pain. Reflexively, his body trembled at the thought. He felt fingers run down both sides of his face. And then the whispers picked up.

Ask. Bring up the subject. Both of you are lonely souls. The more sullen voice spoke.

He sighed mentally. Dang it. Regulating his emotions was going to be a pain if that thing would show up whenever he would be off kilter. But its voice was alluring, pressing on that part of him that was painfully curious to hear what his old friend had to say.

His eyes drifted over to the doctor. But first… need the good doctor out of here.

“Dr. Veer.” Thaddeus said.

“Hm? Yes?” She glanced up from her tapping.

“Could you leave? For a while?” He asked. “Need to talk about some private things. And cut the connection.”

Veer raised a brow before glancing at Bradford. He shrugged. She simply nodded. There was a faint twinkle of purple in her eyes. “Done. I’ll still be in the Infirmary.” She got up and left.

Bradford looked at him. There was that sadness again, and annoyance whenever he glanced at his shoulders. And he noticed he was fidgeting with that necklace some more. He started moving over to the bed. I have a feeling he wants to—

“Jynn.” Thaddeus said, as plainly as he could. “Jynn Reeves.”

Bradford froze.

“I saw that memory. The Nigeria Base. You and a salvage team went there.” He said spoke softly. “You never got to tell her, did you?”

Bradford didn’t respond. He saw? He saw? How? How? His mind was racing twice over. One side was trying to figure out how Thaddeus knew and the other was reliving that day. It took some seconds before it clicked. It was obvious how. He looked away from him.

There was silence.

Teeth and fists clenched, Bradford forced that dreadful memory to end. “How could I?” There was a waver in his voice. “How could I?” He repeated as he sat on the edge of the bed. “She was my other boss. You know the rules. And then everything went to hell…”

A faint chuckle came from Thaddeus. He had a point. Rules and regulations. “Right, right. Still… if you got the chance then… would you have told her?”

Bradford was silent for a minute or two. His mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out. It snapped shut before he licked his lips and forced something out. “I… I don’t know.”

That had crossed his mind a few times over the years, but he just never thought of what he would say or do.

“Hm.” Thaddeus looked away. His mind was picking away at some questions. And working to ignore that being prodding him to be more invasive. “If… If you had the chance now… would you tell her?”

“Now?” A bewildered scoff left his lips. “Thadd… she’s most likely…” He didn’t want to say it. All he could see was the dried blood and the scrap of her uniform and nameplate.

“You,” and Thaddeus emphasized that ‘you’, “and the rest never gave up hope for me. Who’s to say she, Kamon, and Elli aren’t still alive somewhere?”

“I… I…” He stuttered. That was the fixation. An unhealthy obsession to keep me going. For her… those scraps. If They do have her… He didn’t even want to finish the thought. Would she be in a state similar to Thaddeus? And then… would she accept him? “I don’t know. I don’t… I don’t think… I’d have a chance.”

Thaddeus placed a hand on his back. At first it was a few hearty smacks before it became more endearing pats. “Chickenshit.” He snorted. “Now I remember why Corvo liked to pick on that crush.”

He bristled with each pat. Even more so hearing Corvo’s name. “Of course, you remember that…”

Thaddeus just grinned. “If we find her. Shoot your shot. Sparks may just fly.”

“Maybe… maybe.” He was still unsure. And felt like she was most likely dead.

———————————————

Feeling terrible for bringing up such a sensitive and depressive topic, and wanting to get rid of that being whispering in his ear, Thaddeus asked about the ship and her occupants. Something to shift Bradford back into that information and communication role he was so good at. It took a bit before the man got rolling, but the changed topic brightened his mood.

Eventually, tiredness crept back in for Bradford as he struggled to keep his eyes open. It was time for him to get some rest. As he left, he sent Veer back.

To her surprise, Thaddeus asked what they could do to get him out of the Infirmary and to his supposed Quarters. And have some more privacy so the workers wouldn’t notice him eying his “unwelcome companion” hovering over his shoulder. He was happy it was being more passive, but still annoying.

That was something Veer could agree with as she had a feeling he wouldn’t always keep his outbursts towards that thing inside of his mind.

The psychological tests began and went on for some hours. He cleared nearly all of them, but she wanted to do a few more tests and then run some things by the other doctors.

Within a day or two, Thaddeus was moved to his Quarters and was slowly catching up to speed on everything he missed during his 20-year imprisonment, the inner workings of the Avenger, and the blossoming worldwide Resistance with many Factions they needed to get to work together.

Though it would be a while before he was cleared for active duty, things were slowly coming back to him. Especially, old passwords. He started snooping around and inserting his input for upcoming raids and other operations. Bradford wasn’t sure if he should have been annoyed or thankful. He was leaning more towards the latter with each passing day as the input helped point out potential flaws and different strategies they could use. He could feel a decade of weight falling from his shoulders.

That being came and went with his emotional state, much to his chagrin. Some days, it was more passive than others. He loathed it nonetheless. Especially, the various bits of the poem it would recite.

Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

With access to a computer, he was finally able to find its origins.

“Like the Elders, twisting and bastardizing someone’s work.”

He wondered how the thing even knew of the poem. Perhaps he had heard it in his youth and it plucked it from there? It didn’t matter. He just knew he needed to keep his guard up against the thing. He couldn’t wait to be rid of it. If they could figure out how to separate it from him.

“Have a devil on my shoulder. Need the crew to be my angels.”

#Xcom #Xcom 2 #Xcom wotc #Xcom fic #OC: Thaddeus Seaver #*Thaddeus Seaver #Commander Seaver #writings #fic writings

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