#YES THIS IS 10000000% A JOKE POST

[uncanny-tranny]

When I talk about ground-breaking trans history, I'm talking about this:

[nekoashiii]

Hi! I was just wondering do you think the yandere genshin cult (?) would act different if their creator was a teen? I don't think the age of reader is mentioned in them so idk if it would change

Hello :D

Well it depends if we go the normal sagau or the actual realistic religious way.

I will choose the second option for this post.

Honestly it's a bit weird and messed up the way they act, because they just think you are over 10000000 years old and just shapeshifted into a young teen, same goes if it's just a simple 6 y/o kid.

So yes they will act as if you are an adult like them, bringing you to decided on important trading meetings, etc

Even families from each land would favour their kid that is as old as you

Like if you are idk 15, families would show everyone that they have a child as old as their god shapeshifted as, it's a bit confusing

But oh dear God. If you are a young young kid, 8 years old, 7 years old, just remember something. Your word is law, just say you hate green, pink idk, countries would quickly get rid of that color, it would be considered bad luck and criminals would be shown with that color.

Oh you hate tomato? Criminals that did horrible things can only eat tomatos as their punishment. A kid didn't do their homework? They are punished by eating tomato or just any food you hate

Listen if I was you I would take advantage of this power.

You sit down with zhongli, tartaglia and others surrounding you, talking to you as if you actually know whats happening, you suddenly start telling them a story you read some weeks before getting Isekaid here. I kid you not people are writing what you say each second in books.

No joke you actually live in a palace like those Chinese drama series we all have watched. Just teen reader walking while servants and probably some of their acolytes following them. And those two people with pens and books ready to write down anything you say

Tbh it's just. Not normal I don't know how to say it, but it's not your typical sagau where you sit on a throne room and done, the god on throne while nobody is daring to surround them

Plus if you are under 16, they won't allow you to even walk, you should be carried like this:

But you being a toddler, younger than 6 years old means chaos, because you need a babysitter, and trust me Snezhnayans are absolutely killing anyone and everything just to be your babysitter

Homies even pantalone was a volunteer.

Anyways what should I name this au?? I really enjoyed writing for it, sooo I will continue it with more fun ideas

Because like when you are young and have a whole palace for yourself is such a dream bro, you are lucky 🙄🙄

[kylievershion]

mutuals reblog this post and I'll jokingly/light heartedly rate you from 1-10

@innocent-angel-girl 8/10 :)

@blairpuffs 0/10 YOU KEEP EATING ME >:( /j

@anonymous-person-in-hellhole 3/10 *SENDS YOU TO THE ABYSS* /j

@aevansaether Latte 8/10

@lemonsbakery -3/10 *SETS YOU ON FIRE* /JOKE

@helo-its-mo -4/10 YOU BULLIED ME BECAUSE I HAD NO WIFES /JOKE

@spritecaninthegarage 1/10 I blame you and lefty for my liking of almondfort /LIGHTHEARTED

@midoriirl 7/10 YOU ARE JUST HOTTER MINT CHOCO COOKIE /p /lighthearted

@snowyglades (yes we moots) 10/10 SNOW KING

@coffinsugar -40/10 STUPID AFFOGATO COOKIE AND HIS BOSS FIGHT/JOKE

@austinsdead 3/10 sus /LH

@ruikasakinnie -1000000000/10 YOU FUCKING STALK ME /JOKE

@epicchoccymilk19 8/10 choccymilk

@caramelarrrow -10000000/10 YOU FUCKING STALK ME TOO /JOKE

[daenerys-targaryen]

we stan a multifaceted multifandom blog. i'm always afraid of not being a "real" swiftie since i don't know all the fandom in-jokes or produce amazing edits but fandom isn't a job for any of us and i think you 10000000% deserve this amazing url esp after the work you put into getting it!

Thanks so much for saying that! Yeah, I get insecure sometimes too because I don't edit as much as I used to (work takes up a lot of my free time tbh) like I haven't had any time to work on edits this month and it's frustrating to no end. It's especially tricky for me since I used to have two blogs, this one obv but then a real multi-fandom blog where I didn't post taylor at all. I've since combined both blogs into one cause I got sick of logging in and out etc etc but yeah sometimes I get insecure for posting too much taylor and then not enough and at this point I'm like I'm just going to post and reblog whatever I want onto my own silly blog and my followers can deal with it LOL. If you don't like her then blacklist her name or unfollow at this point babes.

But yes, you're so right! Fandom is any of our jobs and honestly, it doesn't matter how much you participate in said fandom (edits, memes, shit posts, etc) if you post about said thing at all you're 'in the fandom' in my book!

As for all the swifite inside jokes, that's totally reasonable to not feel like a real swiftie if you don't get all the jokes. But try to remember that for the most part, those are things that become inside jokes because they're happening in real-time if that makes any sense? For ex, I wouldn't get the 'people keep commenting turkey, don't know if that's a name or a country' joke had I not been watching the flower mural live stream. I wouldn't know that there was a joke going around that taylor cooked and ate the sessioners from one of the reputation secret sessions had I not been online that night, it was like 1 am and we were all like ok where are they? So while you might not get past jokes, just know there will be more moments in the future where you'll be able to participate in said joke in present time.

[scandeniall]

sneakerhead suna

pairing: suna x reader

note: yes another suna drabble. this one probably sucks bc i tried to be a sneaker head once but yeah it was too much and all i know are coLORwAYs and GOAT. anyways idk what this is ignore me suna lowkey sneajerhead

wc: 641

Mentally suna is a sneakerhead (whether or not he drops the coin to actually be one is debatable). He always keeps up with the latest releases and has like a million tabs open of sneak peaks, unboxings and all that shit. Now dating him, you're going to hear about it a lot. He's up at like 3am and spam sends you so many sneaker pics like “babe would u get these for me” and “if you really luv me.” You truly put him on DND at night (and he knows this so if hes feeling extra then he’ll just spam you with so much shit like dumb memes and late night thoughts just so you can wake up to them). 

Take a shot everytime he talks about shoes when you're together (might have alcohol poisoning depending on the day.) You literally know all the terminology because of him. Like if you're physically together he’ll constantly hand you his phone/laptop to get your opinion. Just chilling on the couch your legs draped across his lap while he just shows you shit and occasionally caressing your leg is a fav pastime. When you go out shopping he's always like “you always get the more exclusive shit online” but that doesn't stop him from at least walking past the shoe store and glancing. 

When he gets sent shoes (bc you know PRO athlete) he gets pretty hype, but pretends it's like “yeah cool whatever.” He’ll either facetime or literally make you come over while he unboxes. He puts the shoes on to walk around the house “I gotta see how they feel” headass. If he hates the shoes though he will be on GOAT or StockX in 5 seconds flat. “Babe hold these up while I get a picture.” Pretty lucrative side hustle let's be real. “If I help you take these pics you gotta give me a cut when they sell” yeah he ignores you. 

Get him some real nice shoes he's been eying but refused to pay for himself for his birthday or like a celebration/milestone and he doesn't even attempt to hide how hype he is. Will post 10000000 pictures of the shoes HIS baby got him. Acts like an actual bf for once instead of the homie with the hugs and cuddling and kisses. Probably wears them for like a week straight and again posts a “fit pic” everyday of the week too. (Suna’s not a bad bf, yall love is just more like yall are literally homies- but with that he always makes milestones worth it for you too and returns the love)

If he manages to get you into sneakers too then whew (but even if not you’ll definitely own at least 2-3 pairs of pricy/exclusive sneakers just by nature of dating him). But do not let this man catch you being rough with your shoes, “DONT crease them” Shit you better walk flat foot af when you're around him. He posts shoe pics of you both with “goals” but is he joking or serious? Probably both. 

When you're wearing expensive sneakers it's probably the only time he’ll tie your shoes. He will show you the right way to lace them too “can’t have you looking dumb yk.” “how sweet,” and you're kinda just rolling your eyes. But back to him tying them. He knows how to bend the right way so that he doesn’t crease his shoes and mentally dies everytime you crease yours when you have to tie them. So to prevent that? He ties them. To outsiders it looks cute bc aw your bf is tying your shoes. But no, it's because he cares about your shoes more than you do.

You: you should just date your shoes

Him: Ok

You: ok yeah i'm out of here

Him: wait babe come back

[aparoxysm]

☼☼☼☼ i don't even know how many i pasted but GIMME

this is literally going to be so long i talk so much YOURE GONNA REGRET THIS

☼ KYLE & DEANNA ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL, i think this would be kyle tbh. like no okay, he’s usually a responsible guy but hes SOOO easily manipulated and pressured into things ok??? the puppy would just have to look @ him and he’d just be like “no buddy im sorry i can’t………………… alright fine jump in the backpack ill be your obi wan we’re outta here”

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

deanna 10000000%

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

i actually feel like both? i feel like kyle is usually the instigator but since being around him all the time, deanna’s really going to get to embrace a dorkier side of herself. he likes making people laugh and she likes him making her laugh so basically he is gonna make her come to the dork side sooner or later~

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

HAHA probably kyle.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

SO i have finally decided that kyle is really interested in history and archeology. i think hes gonna really commit to college this time around soon and deannas gonna be pouty when he cant shower her in attention lolololol. so definitely her distracting and succeeding.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

both!!

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

i don’t know if deanna really has a temper but given that she’s got italian blood in her, i’d say genetics prove that she’d be the one to walk out. kyle would 10/10 be upset if she did.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

kyle. netflix nerd.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

deanna.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

both. 10/10.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

kyle LOL hes such a dweeb. there’s him in an ugly christmas sweater and antlers.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

…..deanna? maybe? im not really sure, again, i dont know what her temper is like. i don’t know if shes a need space person or not yet, but kyle wouldn’t be able to stand ignoring her.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i definitely see deanna playing with kyles hair on the reg.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

i think deanna’s already proved this one LOLOLOLL and i love it so much, its such a normal organic thing in relationships to hang off each other and i definitely see that being her thing. 

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

deanna. i think kyle’s more of a hugger, he always likes to just have an arm around her somehow. shes the kisser.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

WELL kyle would never @ her like that but LOLOLOL i bet once the novelty of his blabbing has worn off and theyre an old married couple deanna might sometimes just be like stooooop

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

deanna is for sure the instigator, as if that isnt 100% obvious by now hahahha and god yes sometimes kyle will be like NO OMG MY MOM IS IN THE OTHER ROOM or I HAv E TO GO TO cLASS so yep he gonna have to walk away and its gonna kill him 100 times over probably.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

kyle forgets it but also has to hold it because hes such a tall freak, hed be like good ol’ hunchback notre dame with deanna holding it LOL. but he’d also just like, get wet if it meant keeping her dry and warm cause hes a ~gentleman

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmmmmmmmmmm i feel like deanna. unless shes a night shower-er. in which case, shes a freak and kyle owns the morning.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

well this has deanna written all over it so.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

kyle’s a wimp, he’ll win her a goldfish and not throw up (y)

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

deanna. kyle probably fell asleep LOL

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight 

hmhmhmhmhmhmhmh deanna??? maybe??? i mean maybe not always but i just see her being more connected to her phone than kyle, like surfing social media etc. and like i bet hes an iPad guy. so like maybe he steals the wall socket a lot and shes like k remind me to steal ur charger before we go to bed and hes like k *forgets immediately*

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

both? but i feel like mostly deanna. always givin’ him the heckin spooks because hes dumb .

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can 

both.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

deanna feels more rambunctious tbh.

☼ EMILY & MILES ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

WELL IF THERE’S ANYTHING MORE SOLID ABOUT EMILY AS A CHARACTER ITS THAT SHE HAS A N UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH DOGS. she is every dog lover tumblr post ever. barney, her UNNECESSARILY HUMONGOUS bernese mountain dog is her pride and son.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

maybe miles but like more as a joke because like emily adores photography, she used to do a lot of it when she was a teenager for school because her dad was really interested in vintage cameras (see also: her box brownie collection she considered selling) and so thats a nice part of im to hold onto for her. he gave her a polaroid camera which she broke in one of her first big mental break downs. then some years later, a boyfriend at the time bought her a new one which she used a lot for a while. then they broke up and she hasn’t really touched photography since. anyway basically i think miles would probably know most of this (all her polaroids are probably still packed up in a box) so he’d pick up her camra sometimes like “photograph me like one of ur french women~” and shed be like omg stop ur being a silly goose ily.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

miles @ emily. sometimes shes such a sad rain cloud and so i think he would resort to any small stupid thing just to make her smile.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

emily would rather die than watch a horror movie i think LOL. 2 spooky.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

i think miles respects emily too much to bother her when shes working, knowing she takes it all very seriously. but likeeeee, at the same time, maybe if he noticed she was already distracted he would try to egg it on cause maybe he’d think like why miss the opportunity to do something together instead if shes not gonna be busy??? idk. thats a real stab in the dark, i hope all my assuming isnt way off LOL

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

emily. worried mama bear.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

miles is the stormer, emily is the cryer. 100%

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

emily. she doesn’t sleep very well anyway so she’ll read or watch obscure film/tv.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

miles?????????????? probably??? emily is such a shy little squirt when it comes to sex, i think shes very happy to recieve whatever he’s willing to give her but as for her own actions shes too scared to be very adventurous.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

miles. if only they could afford a car… /sheds tear/

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

emily !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shes the person people hate at christmas time. but see also australia has like no game when it comes to inter/national holidays. our chrismas is in the summer so like reindeers and snow and hot cocoa and fireplaces and shit doesnt make sense. its an entirely different culture. same with halloween, its in the spring, there’s no fall colours, orange pumpkins, etc. having these holidays to REALLY celebrate into overkill in the states is probably her favourite thing about living there.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

miles feels like the angry silent type. emily is the non-confrontational silent type. so both, depending what the argument was about.

who plays with the others’ hair more

i kind of see miles, like if theyre on the couch watching tv or whatever, his arm slung round her and distractedly playing with a lock.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

hmmm, neither.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

when emily is a happy clam, shes very loving. her mood really changes her physical interactions. when shes sad or distracted or stressed or focused, she is very recluse and really just likes to be left alone. but when shes feeling inspired and happy, she’s all for hugs and kisses and touching.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

miles? LOLOL if emily would EVER tell him to be quiet. a highly unlikely scenario though.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

i think that miles is mostly the one to always start it, but never with an expectation that she’ll want to? because he knows how much of an awko taco she is about it? its kind of like a very hesitant, curious sus of the situation~ and if shes down then cool if shes not well then theres always next week maybe LOL. but real talk, i think its really special when emily initiates. its very like Big Moment™ and a real surprise and relief to miles’ stress levels cause otherwise he’s always feeling pushed out ja feel? so i think that the simple answer is miles and hes used to her shutting it down if shes not in the mood. but like everything about them its complicated LOL.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

miles forgets and emily brings like 5. i feel like shes the cutie who holds it and he keeps an arm/jacket around her to keep her from freezing to death bc old married couple :’)

who demands showering first in the mornings

i mean emily likes routine but i feel like miles is the early riser for work and is always gne by the time she gets up probably.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

either or neither, depending on the night before :P 

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

emily is also a wimp and i dont imagine she likes heights very much. miles strikes me as the “big panda winner” type.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

emily if shes either a) worried or b) unsure and keeps tacking on after thoughts.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

ehhhhh, neither? i expect they both rely heavily on them for work so no point with a dead phone.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

miles.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

emily.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

neither? i mean emily is basically a mouse but yeah. neither.

☼ ADAM & JULIE ☼

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

adam. 200%. he has no impulse control.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

adam AHAHAHA, i bet he would take photos of himself on her phone a lot. as if he’s doing her some public service. change his name to “hot adam” in her phone and take a snapchat filter photo of him with some dumb sunglasses on or something. use one of those dumb filters that put your face on the body of some dancing thing and set it as her wallpaper. basically he is so vain.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

adam. he doesnt get embarrassed easily and one day hes gonna like julie a lot and notice theres a dark raincloud in there somewhere he needs to chase away. so might as well do that with laughter.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

adam but he’d want her to cling to him so it would be this whole elaborate plan. like “here let me set up the situation this is how its gonna go its gonna be great” and julie is gonna be like omfg stop and then hes gonna finish the movie wanting to vomit like “well that was not fun at all why did you talk me into this ur a bad friend”

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

julie strikes me as the hardworking type. adam is 100% the literal child wanting her attention.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

adam ofc. but then it could be cute, like julie could start seeing dumb shit and text him like “i saw a guy who got thrown out of walmart today bc he tried to steal a the simpsons on dvd” and he’ll immediately laugh and call her like “WAS IT THE BEST THING? TELL ME EVERYTHING” bc his job is a lot of boring sitting around most of the time. he’ll learn when her lunch breaks are and call her to annoy her but also bc lonely.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

adam would storm. idk if julie would cry?

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

hmmmmmmmmm, maybe julie? if its something shes really into or is anxious and cant sleep? bc adam is 100% that guy whos like “pf what no ill be up for HOURS” zonks out @ 9pm

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

adam, hes a kinky shit. but HEY maybe she is 2. we might never kno  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

adam. literal child.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

i feel like julie has WICKED eye for interior? maybe she doesn’t, but her pinterest board lead me to believe shes stylish af. so i feel like she’d have a good time decorating. unless shes got deep family / body issues rooted to holidays which i could also see being a thing. people stareotypically eat a lot at christmas and thanksgiving omfg, so maybe she hates holidays. IDK. IDK THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE but im also pretty sure adam would dress as a sexy santa like u wouldnt even have to ask he’d be so down. i mean this is probably his favourite christmas related thing tbh (NSFW). im also aware that still doesnt answer the question.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

adam. bye falicia~

who plays with the others’ hair more

adam but in an annoying way LOL

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

the image of adam climbing all over julie is weird af LOL. so like. maybe neither, idk?

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

adam. hes so convinced he’ll get her to give in one day. ONE DAYYY.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

adam.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up  

adam sTILL. hes so annoying hahaha.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

adam forgets, julie holds. mostly cause he probably gets them all wet cause hes an adhd kid half the time. 

who demands showering first in the mornings

hmmmm, maybe julie? adams probably a freak and showers at night.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

adam 200%

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

adam would LOVE rollercoasters. i dont know about julie?

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

have you met adam “pay attention to me” kane ???

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

hmmm, if it had to be one of them, probably adam.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

adam. anything for the ass grab.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

i dont know this one tbh.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

adam. obnoxious piece of work.

[carey-pricemas]

Valentine’s Day- Andre Burakovsky

Ok so I know this is a day late, but I worked yesterday so you get a late Valentine's Day story from me! I'm not gonna lie, it's super angsty. I have another story I'm writing that's 10000000% angsty so take this while you can! Any who... there was a post recently that since Andre (on twitter) retweeted about body positivity, that maybe he likes bigger girls and as one, I will run it into the ground lol. I love this precious bean! Anyway, enjoy guys!

 Warning: Angst, lack of self-esteem

Part Two (It’s the Thought that Counts)

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              You smoothed down the front of your dress frowning. Andre wanted to do something nice for Valentine's Day, but then Tom heard about what he was doing and wanted to join in so now you were going on a double date with two really hot hockey players and a model.

              Well, she wasn't really a model but she sure as hell looked like one.

              And that made you self-conscious as heck.

              "Babe you look gorgeous," Andre said kissing the back of your head. He placed his hands on your waist and his eyes zeroed in on the prize in the mirror. "Really gorgeous."

              "I don't know," you murmured. When you bought the dress you were in love with it. It was a tight black dress with a lot of cleavage. It was a little daring for a plus sized girl, but it made you feel good about yourself. Now?

              Nada.

              "No time to change. We're going to be late. Let's go!" Andre grabbed your hand and started pulling you from the mirror in your shared bedroom.

              "Wait! What is Ashley wearing?" You asked. You didn't want to clash.

              Or for Andre to change his mind about what he was attracted to.

              Andre stopped and looked at you.

              "Who's Ashley?"

              ".....Toms flavor of the week?"

              "I thought it was Ashton?" Andre mumbled.

              He could be right. Tom changed girls like he changed his underwear and you and Andre had a hard time keeping track. You both loved him dearly, but he needed to stick to one name to conquest at a time.

              Andre shrugged and pulled you out the door, only pausing long enough to let you grab your jacket and purse. He ushered you into the elevator and once he pressed the button for the ground floor he pressed you against the far wall and kissed you hard. This was the Andre that no one else saw because all the fan girls thought he was a precious bean.

              Well, ok. You had to admit they were right. But he did have a sensual side too.

              "Wow," you laughed as he pulled away. "I wasn't expecting that!"

              "Why not? You're gorgeous! How did I ever get lucky enough to get you to love me?"

              "It was definitely the Semla," you grinned remembering when Andre introduced you to the sweet Swedish pastry. Andre laughed and pulled you from the elevator and to your car, opening the driver's door for you. "One of these days I'm going to get you to pass your driving test."

              "It's hard!" Andre whined as he slipped into the passenger seat. You kicked off your heel and turned the car on.

              "Nate passed it first try. I think you can manage," you responded. Andre sighed.

              "Here I am planning a romantic day for you and this is what I get as thanks?" You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, seeing his pathetic puppy dog pout.

              Dammit.

              You could never say no to that.

              "You did invite Tom and Ash-something to join in these festivities so I mean really... not very romantic."

              "I knew Tom was wrong."

              "Wrong about what?"

              "That you'd be happy to double date."

              "Any other day? Yes. Valentine's Day?" You wiggles your hand back and forth in a so-so motion, "eh."

              You parked the car in the lot and Andre told you to wait, coming around and helping you out of the car. You held onto him as you wriggled your foot back into the heel and dropped your keys back into your purse. "Ok let's go eat!"

              Andre slid his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, his cologne relaxing you.

              As you got closer to the door, Andre came to a dead stop.

              "You've gotta be kidding me" he muttered. You looked ahead and wanted to cry.

              Tom and model Ash-something were talking to another couple, Braden and Brandi Holtby.

              "We might be able to make a run for it and grab some burgers on the way home."

              "You guys finally made it!" Tom said as he caught a glimpse of you. It was too late to back out now. You'd been spotted. Crap.

              "Hey guys. What are you doing here?" you asked, giving Brandi a hug.

              "They were eating here too so I invited them to join!" Tom said.

              He was pretty oblivious to the fact that his date didn't look happy. Brandi smiled at you and Andre.

              "Sorry but maybe next time. We got rid of the kids for the night" she said with a wink.

              You could kiss her for that.

              "You guys can come over for dinner sometime. I think I've finally got the kroppkakor recipe nailed."

              "I don't know what it is, but if Andre eats it I'd probably like it" Braden laughed at his younger teammate’s expense.

              Andre was a picky eater when he wanted to be.

              "It's delicious and hers is almost as good as my mom’s!" You blushed as Andre kissed your cheek.

              "I think we should go in so we don't lose our reservations" Ash-something butt in. You smile and nod as Tom agrees quickly.

              "Sounds like a good plan. You kids have fun. Don't do anything we wouldn't do" Brandi laughed. "By the way, you look fantastic (Y/N)!"

              "Thanks, you do too! And you," you turned to Tom's date, "look great as well!" She smoothed down her hair as she agreed with how good she looked.

              Andre placed his hand on your lower back and pressed gently, urging you forward. You stepped into the restaurant and the hostess stared at you, a small smile on her face. Her gaze instantly picked up Andre and Tom, and her eyes lit up and her smile became more genuine.

              "Welcome, do you have a reservation?" She stared at Andre as he gave his name. The hostess noticed Tom's date and her interest in him waned, making you feel even worse about yourself.

              Happy freaking Valentine's Day to you.

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              You kicked off your heels as soon as you entered your apartment, dropping your purse on the floor as well. You immediately went into your bedroom to take this dress off.

              It was a really stupid idea.

              You shouldn't have bought the damn dress.

              "Isn't that my job?" Andre joked as he entered the bedroom behind you. You didn't laugh. You didn't stop. You just kicked the dress into the corner and slid into your pjs. "Hey, what's wrong? I thought we had a good time?"

              "Maybe you did" you snapped. You definitely didn't. You sat and watched as the hostess, waitress, and even Tom's girlfriend (Annaleigh by the way. You were both wrong.) flirted with Andre, like you weren't even there. Annaleigh made a couple of comments about what you were eating and you over all just had a crappy night. And apparently it was obvious to everyone but Andre and Tom because when you left the restaurant, you had a text from Brandi asking if you were ok.

              You ignored it, not wanting to ruin their night alone with Brandi beating a couple of hockey players up.

              She'd totally do it too.

              Probably one handed.

              The other holding Belle and teaching her how to fight.

              That thought put a smile on your face.

              Andre sat next to you and took your hand in his.

              "What's wrong (Y/N)?" You sighed and looked at your entwined hands. "You got really quiet at dinner."

              "So you did notice." You were silent for a minute. "Andre, why do you love me?"

              "What?" Andre blinked at you in confusion.

              "Why did you fall in love with me?"

              "Well," he paused for a minute, "I love you because you're super smart, smarter than me, because you're funny and you pretend I'm funny. I love you because you are unbelievably gorgeous to me and because your smile makes everything a million times better, even being kicked out of playoffs." He paused, squeezing your hand. "You're learning to make Swedish food just for me and that right there alone would make me love you, but I fell in love with you before my pork and potato dumplings made it to your recipe book. I love you for you, (Y/N)." You smiled, a tear streaking down your face.

              "You weren't attracted to any of those women at the restaurant?" Andre looked taken aback. Suddenly you could see the clarity on his face.

              "Not even remotely. Leave the skin and bones to Tom. I love YOU." He leaned forward and kissed you soundly. "And I really loved that dress so maybe we should hang it up, yeah? Wear it again?" You nodded.

              "Yeah."

              "Good. Now, I bought ice cream and got your favorite movie." Your face lit up.

              "Miracle?"

              "You bet!" You reached up and placed your hands on Andre's neck, bringing his lips to yours.

              "I love you, Andre. Precious bean and all."

              "I love you t- wait. What?"

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Eh? What did we all think? Yes I've been here (not with Andre and definitely didn't get the same response, but that's why I write). I really just kinda want to see Brandi kick their butts. I love the Holtbys! All of them! Alright I have a request for another JVR coming up and my angsty one but I do take requests!