#You are looking at the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to Travel Abroad.

[thebrightgroups]

[anyloansales]

Explore the World: Unlocking Destinations with Personal Travel Loans

Travelling is more than just visiting new places; it's about immersing yourself in different cultures, creating unforgettable memories, and broadening your perspective. However, the cost of travel can often be a barrier for many individuals. This is where Personal Loan for Travel come into play, offering a convenient and accessible way to fund your adventures and unlock destinations that were once just dreams.

The Freedom to Wander

Imagine standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, gazing at the majestic beauty of nature. Picture yourself wandering through the bustling streets of Tokyo, indulging in delectable street food and exploring ancient temples. Envision diving into the crystal-clear waters of the Maldives, surrounded by vibrant marine life. These are experiences that enrich our lives and create lasting memories.

Personal travel loans provide the freedom to turn these dreams into reality. Whether you're planning a solo backpacking adventure, a romantic getaway, or a family vacation, a travel loan can bridge the gap between your aspirations and your budget, allowing you to explore the world without financial constraints holding you back.

Convenience and Flexibility

One of the key advantages of personal travel loans is their convenience and flexibility. Unlike traditional loans that may require collateral or have stringent eligibility criteria, personal travel loans are often unsecured and can be obtained with minimal documentation.

These loans offer flexibility in terms of repayment, allowing you to choose a tenure that fits your budget and financial situation. Whether you prefer shorter-term loans for quick getaways or longer-term loans for extended travel plans, there are options available to suit your needs.

Making Memories, Not Excuses

Life is short, and opportunities to travel and experience the world should not be missed due to financial concerns. Personal travel loans empower you to make memories, not excuses. They enable you to seize the moment, step out of your comfort zone, and embark on adventures that enrich your life and broaden your horizons.

From exploring iconic landmarks and natural wonders to immersing yourself in local cultures and cuisines, travel opens doors to new experiences and perspectives. It fosters personal growth, builds resilience, and creates bonds with people from diverse backgrounds.

Planning Your Dream Trip

When considering a personal travel loan, it's essential to plan your trip thoughtfully. Start by researching destinations that align with your interests and budget. Create a detailed itinerary that includes accommodation, transportation, activities, and meals.

Once you have a clear understanding of your travel expenses, you can calculate the loan amount needed to fund your trip. Be realistic about your repayment capacity and choose a loan tenure that allows you to comfortably manage your monthly instalments.

Choosing the Right Lender

When it comes to personal travel loans, choosing the right lender is crucial. Look for reputable financial institutions that offer competitive interest rates, transparent terms, and excellent customer service. Compare loan options from multiple lenders to find the best fit for your travel plans.

Additionally, consider factors such as prepayment options, loan processing times, and any additional fees or charges associated with the loan. A trustworthy lender will guide you through the loan application process, address your concerns, and ensure a smooth borrowing experience.

Embracing Adventure and Discovery

Travelling is not just about reaching a destination; it's about the journey itself. It's about stepping outside your comfort zone, embracing new experiences, and creating memories that last a lifetime. Personal travel loans provide the financial means to embark on these adventures and unlock destinations that inspire awe and wonder.

Whether you're a seasoned traveller or venturing abroad for the first time, a travel loan can be a valuable tool in fulfilling your wanderlust dreams. From exploring ancient ruins and pristine beaches to navigating bustling cities and serene countryside, every journey is an opportunity for adventure and discovery.

Conclusion

Personal Travel Loans offer a gateway to exploration, adventure, and personal growth. They empower individuals to step out of their routines, discover new cultures, and create cherished memories around the world. With the right planning, responsible borrowing, and a passion for adventure, you can unlock destinations and experiences that enrich your life and leave a lasting impact. So pack your bags, follow your dreams, and explore the world with confidence, knowing that personal travel loans are there to support your journey of discovery.

[visagurukulcom]

Search Courses & Find Your Dream Study Abroad Program

Are you dreaming of studying abroad but feeling overwhelmed by the search for the perfect program? Don't worry, you're not alone! Finding the right Study abroad program can seem like a daunting task, but with the right approach, it can be an exciting and rewarding experience. Here's a simple guide to help you navigate through the process and find your dream study abroad program.

1. Determine Your Goals

First things first, take some time to think about what you hope to gain from your study abroad experience. Are you looking to immerse yourself in a new culture, learn a new language, or pursue academic interests in a specific field? Understanding your goals will help you narrow down your options and find a program that aligns with your aspirations.

2. Research Destinations

Once you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve, start researching potential destinations that offer programs matching your interests. Consider factors such as language, culture, climate, and cost of living. Explore different countries and regions to find the perfect fit for your study abroad adventure.

3. Explore Available Courses

Next, delve into the courses and academic opportunities offered by various institutions in your chosen destination. Look for programs that align with your academic interests and offer courses that will enhance your learning experience. Don't forget to consider practical aspects such as credit transferability and course prerequisites.

4. Check Program Requirements

Before you get too excited about a particular program, make sure you meet all the requirements. This may include academic prerequisites, language proficiency exams, and visa regulations. Be sure to check the application deadlines and any additional documentation needed to apply for your chosen program.

5. Seek Guidance

If you're feeling overwhelmed or unsure about where to start, don't hesitate to seek guidance from academic advisors, Study abroad offices, or peers who have experienced studying abroad. They can offer valuable insights and advice to help you make informed decisions and navigate the application process.

6. Compare Costs and Financial Aid Options

Studying abroad can be a significant financial investment, so it's essential to consider the costs associated with your chosen program. Compare tuition fees, accommodation expenses, and other living costs across different destinations. Explore financial aid options, scholarships, and grants available to international students to help alleviate the financial burden.

7. Apply and Prepare

Once you've found the perfect study abroad program, it's time to submit your application and start preparing for your adventure. Gather all the necessary documents, including transcripts, letters of recommendation, and a well-crafted personal statement. Take care of practical matters such as securing housing, obtaining health insurance, and arranging travel logistics.

8. Embrace the Experience

Congratulations! You've successfully found your dream study abroad program and are ready to embark on a life-changing journey. Embrace the experience with an open mind and a sense of adventure. Immerse yourself in the local culture, make new friends, and seize every opportunity to learn and grow both academically and personally.

Conclusion

Finding the perfect study abroad program may seem like a daunting task, but with careful research and planning, you can turn your dream into a reality. Follow these simple steps to navigate the process and discover the adventure of a lifetime. Whether you're eager to explore new cultures, advance your academic goals, or gain valuable life experiences, studying abroad offers endless opportunities for personal and intellectual growth. So what are you waiting for? Start your journey today and let the world become your classroom!

[4shreya]

How Study Abroad Consultants Can Help You Choose the Right Program

Are you dreaming of studying abroad but feeling overwhelmed by the countless options available? Choosing the right program can be a daunting task, but fear not! Study abroad consultants are here to guide you through this exciting journey and help you make the best decision for your academic and personal growth.

Understanding Your Goals

Before diving into the multitude of study abroad programs, it's crucial to take a step back and evaluate your goals. What are you hoping to achieve during your time abroad? Are you looking to immerse yourself in a new culture, learn a new language, or pursue specific academic interests? Understanding your objectives will streamline the process of selecting the perfect program.

Exploring Program Options

Once you have a clear vision of your goals, it's time to explore the myriad of study abroad programs available. From semester-long exchanges to year-long internships, the options are endless. Study abroad consultants can help you navigate through these choices by providing valuable insights into each program's curriculum, location, and cultural experiences.

Tailoring to Your Needs

Every student is unique, with individual preferences and requirements. Study abroad consultants understand this and strive to tailor their recommendations to suit your specific needs. Whether you thrive in a bustling metropolis or prefer the tranquility of a smaller town, there's a study abroad program out there that's perfect for you. Consultants can help you identify the ideal match based on factors such as academic offerings, housing options, and extracurricular activities.

Navigating the Application Process

Once you've narrowed down your options, it's time to tackle the application process. This can be a complex and time-consuming endeavor, but study abroad consultants are here to simplify it for you. They can provide guidance on gathering necessary documents, completing application forms, and meeting deadlines. With their expertise, you can navigate through the bureaucratic maze with ease and confidence.

Overcoming Challenges

Studying abroad is an enriching experience, but it's not without its challenges. From homesickness to cultural shock, you may encounter obstacles along the way. Fortunately, study abroad consultants are there to offer support and guidance whenever you need it. Whether you're struggling to adjust to your new surroundings or facing academic difficulties, consultants can provide valuable advice and resources to help you overcome any hurdles.

Maximizing Your Experience

Once you've embarked on your study abroad journey, consultants continue to play a crucial role in maximizing your experience. They can offer insights on making the most of your time abroad, whether it's through participating in cultural events, volunteering in the local community, or traveling to nearby destinations. By taking advantage of these opportunities, you can enrich your experience and create memories that will last a lifetime.

Conclusion

Choosing the right study abroad program is a pivotal decision that can shape your academic and personal growth. With the guidance of study abroad consultants, you can navigate through the myriad of options with confidence and ease. From understanding your goals to overcoming challenges, consultants are there to support you every step of the way. So why wait? Start your study abroad journey today and embark on the adventure of a lifetime!

[msmunifystudyabroad]

Your Ticket to Adventure: A Comprehensive Guide to Studying Abroad from India to Canada

Hey there, future globetrotters! If you're an Indian student dreaming of spreading your wings and studying in the Great White North, you're in for a treat. Canada's vibrant multiculturalism, top-notch education system, and stunning landscapes make it a prime destination for international students. But hey, before you start packing your bags, let's walk through the step-by-step process of making your study abroad dreams a reality.

Deciding on Your Destination: Why Canada Rocks for Indian Students

First things first, why Canada? Well, buckle up because I've got a laundry list of reasons why the land of maple syrup should be at the top of your study abroad wishlist. From world-renowned universities to a welcoming atmosphere for international students, Canada has it all. Plus, let's not forget the breathtaking natural beauty and diverse cultural experiences waiting for you. Trust me, you won't be disappointed.

Research, Research, Research: Finding the Perfect Program

Now that you've got Canada on your radar, it's time to dive into some serious research. Take a deep dive into the programs offered by Canadian universities and colleges. Whether you're into business, engineering, or the arts, there's a program out there with your name on it. Don't forget to check out the admission requirements and deadlines – you don't want to miss out on your chance to shine.

Navigating the Application Process: Dotting Your I's and Crossing Your T's

Alright, let's get down to business – the application process. This is where the magic happens, folks. Gather up all your documents, including transcripts, letters of recommendation, and test scores. Pro tip: start early to avoid any last-minute stress. Once you've got everything in order, it's time to fill out those applications like a pro. Remember, attention to detail is key here – you want to make sure your application stands out from the crowd.

Securing Your Finances: Making Dollars and Sense of It All

Let's talk money, honey. Studying abroad isn't cheap, but with careful planning, you can make it work. Start by exploring scholarship opportunities for international students – there are plenty out there if you know where to look. You'll also want to budget for tuition, living expenses, and any other miscellaneous costs. And hey, don't forget about currency exchange rates – they can make a big difference in your bottom line.

Visa Matters: Navigating the Ins and Outs of Immigration

Ah, the dreaded visa process. Don't worry, I've got your back. First things first, you'll need to apply for a study permit from the Canadian government. Make sure you have all your documents in order, including your letter of acceptance from a designated learning institution. Oh, and don't forget about health insurance – it's a must-have for international students in Canada. Once you've dotted all your i's and crossed all your t's, it's time to submit your application and cross your fingers for good luck.

Preparing for Departure: Crossing Ts and Dotting Is

Alright, my fellow adventurers, we're in the home stretch now. With your visa in hand and your bags (mostly) packed, it's time to tie up any loose ends before you embark on your Canadian adventure. Say your goodbyes, double-check your travel arrangements, and get ready for the journey of a lifetime. Oh, and don't forget to pack some maple syrup – trust me, you'll thank me later.

Conclusion: The World Awaits

And there you have it, folks – your step-by-step guide to study in canada from India to Canada. From researching programs to navigating the visa process, we've covered it all. So what are you waiting for? The world is calling, and Canada is waiting. Bon voyage!

[unilifeabroadcareersolutions]

Ten Advantages of International Study

One of a college student's best experiences could be studying abroad. Students can study in a distant country and experience the culture and charm of a new place by going overseas to study.

The top ten reasons to study abroad are as follows:

1. Take in the world

The chance to travel the world is the main justification for thinking about studying abroad. You will encounter a completely new nation with amazing fresh perspectives, customs, and activities by studying abroad. The chance to visit new places, natural marvels, museums, and landmarks in your host country is one of the advantages of studying abroad. Furthermore, you will be able to visit adjacent countries while studying abroad, rather than simply the one you are studying in! For instance, studying in Italy will provide you the chance to visit cities around Europe, such as London, Barcelona, and Rome.

2. Education

You should think about studying abroad if you want to have the opportunity to interact with various educational approaches. You will be able to see a side of your major that you might not have been exposed to back home if you enroll in a study abroad program. One of the best ways to truly experience and comprehend the people, customs, and culture of your host country is to fully immerse yourself in its educational system. Since it is a study abroad program, education is the main focus of any trip, and selecting the appropriate school is crucial.

3. Take in a New Culture

A lot of students who opt to study overseas are doing so as first-time travelers. They are enthralled with the diverse cultural viewpoints when they first get to their new host nation. Studying abroad exposes you to amazing new cuisines, traditions, customs, and social environments. You’ll discover that your comprehension and admiration of the people and history of the country have improved. You'll get the chance to see a whole different way of life.

4. Hone your language skills.

The chance to study a foreign language is probably one of the main reasons you're thinking about studying abroad. You can fully immerse yourself in a new language while studying abroad, and there's no better way to learn than to do so.Your host university will probably offer language courses to give you a more formal education in addition to the significant language practice you will get just in day-to-day life. Go beyond an academic experience and immerse yourself in a new culture.

5. Career Opportunities

You will return home after your study abroad program is over with a fresh understanding of the local way of life, fluency in the local language, an excellent education, and an eagerness to learn. It goes without saying that all of these are highly desirable to potential employers. Many students discover that they adore their host nation to the point where they choose to look for employment there. If that sounds familiar to you, you'll discover that a local education will come in very handy when looking for a possible job in that nation.

6. Personal Development

Being alone in a foreign land is an experience unlike any other. Studying abroad may actually bring out the independent side of you. Studying abroad allows students to fully explore their new country and tap into their inner excitement and curiosity. Learning about a new culture and discovering who you are two advantages of studying abroad. Being alone in a new place can be daunting at times and puts your ability to solve problems and adjust to a variety of situations to the test.

7. Life Experience

Why go overseas to study? This might be the only chance most students have to spend an extended amount of time overseas. You will eventually find employment and a career, and the chance to study overseas might prove to be an once-in-a-lifetime experience. Seize the chance to explore the globe free of obligations while studying and discovering new cultures. Studying overseas is a unique experience. These are but a few benefits of studying overseas. It would be impossible to adequately describe the advantages of this experience in such a brief piece. Improve your language abilities while living abroad, stepping outside of your comfort zone, making new friends from around the globe, and receiving the greatest education possible. Living abroad exposes you to experiences that you would not otherwise have, and it will one day make you stand out from the competition when you apply for jobs.

[gradico]

Study Abroad For Indian Students

Study Abroad for Indian Students: A Comprehensive Guide

Introduction

Studying abroad is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that can broaden your horizons, enhance your education, and prepare you for a successful future. As an Indian student, you have many options when it comes to choosing a study abroad destination. The most popular countries for Indian students include the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, and Germany. Each of these countries offers its own unique benefits, such as world-class universities, affordable tuition fees, and post-study work opportunities.

Why Study Abroad?

There are many reasons why Indian students choose to study abroad. Some of the most common reasons include:

To get a world-class education: Many of the top universities in the world are located in countries like the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Germany. By studying abroad, you can have access to the best education possible and learn from world-renowned professors.

To improve your language skills: Studying abroad is a great way to improve your language skills. If you choose to study in a country where English is not the primary language, you will be forced to immerse yourself in the language and learn it quickly.

To gain international experience: Studying abroad is a great way to gain international experience and learn about different cultures. This can be a valuable asset in the job market, as many employers are looking for employees with international experience.

To increase your job prospects: Studying abroad can increase your job prospects, especially if you choose to study in a high-demand field. Many employers are looking for graduates with international experience and the skills and knowledge that come with it.

How to Choose a Study Abroad Destination

When choosing a study abroad destination, there are a few factors you should consider:

Your academic interests: What do you want to study? Consider the different programs and courses that are offered at universities in different countries.

Your budget: How much money can you afford to spend on tuition, living expenses, and travel? Consider the cost of living in different countries when making your decision.

Your lifestyle preferences: Do you want to live in a big city or a small town? Do you want to live in a country with a similar climate to India or a different climate?

Your post-study work goals: If you want to work in the country where you study after you graduate, consider the visa requirements and job prospects in that country.

Applying for a Study Abroad Visa

Once you have chosen a study abroad destination, you will need to apply for a student visa. The visa application process varies depending on the country where you are studying. However, there are some general requirements that are common to all student visas, such as:

A valid passport: Your passport must be valid for at least six months after your intended return date.

A letter of acceptance from a university: You will need to provide a letter of acceptance from a university in the country where you want to study.

Proof of financial support: You will need to provide proof that you have enough money to cover your tuition fees and living expenses while you are studying abroad.

Tips for Studying Abroad

Here are a few tips for studying abroad:

Do your research: Before you go abroad, make sure to do your research on the country and university where you will be studying. This will help you prepare for your trip and avoid any surprises.

Be open-minded: One of the best things about studying abroad is the opportunity to experience a new culture. Be open-minded and try to learn as much as you can about the culture of the country where you are studying.

Get involved: There are many ways to get involved in the community while you are studying abroad. Consider joining a club or sports team, or volunteering your time to a local organization.

Make friends: One of the best ways to enjoy your study abroad experience is to make friends with other students from all over the world. Take advantage of the many opportunities to socialize and meet new people.

Conclusion

Studying abroad is a great way to enhance your education, gain international experience, and increase your job prospects. If you are an Indian student who is considering studying abroad, there are a few things you should keep in mind, such as choosing the right destination, applying for a student visa, and preparing for your trip. By following the tips above, youv can ensure that your study abroad experience is a success.

[lizseyi]

What Looks Good On College Applications? How Travel Can Make You Stand Out - Road Less Traveled

On the surface, there might not seem to be much connection between embarking on an ambitious trip across the country or even abroad, and what looks good on college applications. Surely, being a diligent straight A student is more likely to help your teen stand out than the fact that they spent their summer in Alaska, the Galapagos, or Mallorca… or is it? 

At The Road Less Traveled, we don’t seek to argue that your teen having traveled internationally will count for more in the eyes of leading colleges than excellent grades. That question is, of course, greatly subjective. Plus, we can’t pretend to know the exact selection criteria and priorities of every leading school out there. 

However, what is evident is that teens today face considerable competition for places at the most prestigious and sought-after colleges. Your child faring well academically will certainly greatly help their college application, but they will also be competing against many other young people with excellent grades. So how can their college application stand out? Immersive and Meaningful Teen Travel Programs! 

So, let’s take a closer look at some of the ways in which embarking on a travel program with The Road Less Traveled really could help play a significant role in shaping a compelling college application for your teen.

It shows that your teen is committed to broader service.

It is one thing for a young person to have achieved impressive grades. But what about the teen who has achieved impressive grades, and has already dedicated themselves to becoming an outstanding global citizen, of service to others? When college admission officers see that your child has taken on a US or global immersion program with The Road Less Traveled, that is what they will see. 

Our summer travel programs are not “vacations”, or mere opportunities to “see the sights” in potentially far-flung parts of the world. That’s because they provide participating teens with invaluable, potentially once-in-a-lifetime opportunities for community service, helping others and contributing to something far bigger than themselves.

It indicates your child’s maturity and independence 

College admissions officers seek students who have shown personal growth and maturity during their high school years. Participating in a teen travel program provides an opportunity for teenagers to step outside of their comfort zones and navigate unfamiliar territories. By immersing themselves in new cultures, interacting with diverse communities, and handling real-world challenges away from parents and guardians, students demonstrate their ability to adapt and thrive in different environments. This kind of independence and maturity is needed at leading schools, and highly appealing to college admissions committees.

It demonstrates your teen has a global perspective

In an increasingly interconnected world, colleges and universities actively seek students with a global mindset. Teen travel programs expose participants to unique perspectives, fostering cultural sensitivity and a broader understanding of global issues. Through firsthand experiences, students develop empathy and open-mindedness, which are essential traits for future leaders and contributors to society. Demonstrating such a perspective can make a compelling case for college admissions, as institutions strive to build diverse and inclusive student bodies.

It provides teens with unique experiences and interests

Participating in an RLT travel program enables students to showcase unique and genuine experiences that interest them and distinguish them from other applicants. Whether it's volunteering at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, conducting research on marine life in Belize, or exploring the ancient ruins of the Acropolis, these experiences create memorable narratives that captivate admissions officers.

Teens can share their real life leadership and teamwork skills

Our travel programs incorporate leadership opportunities and teamwork experiences. Students may be tasked with organizing group activities, making decisions, and collaborating with peers from different backgrounds. Such experiences foster leadership skills, effective communication, and teamwork abilities - all of which are highly attractive qualities for college admissions officers.

It allows your teen to develop their academic and career interests

Our teen travel programs often focus on specific themes, such as language immersion, environmental conservation, or marine science. By choosing a program that aligns with their academic or career interests, students can showcase their passion and dedication to their chosen field of study. This alignment reinforces their commitment to learning and highlights their potential contributions to the college community.

Participating in a teen travel program can be a transformative experience, providing students with invaluable life skills and broadening their horizons. From developing independence and global perspectives to showcasing unique experiences and passions, these programs offer a myriad of benefits that can significantly enhance college applications. As students continue to seek meaningful ways to enrich their college applications, the power of teen travel programs should not be underestimated. Embracing the world with an adventurous spirit can lead to not only an unforgettable journey but also a stepping stone to a bright and meaningful academic future.

For more information visit our website: https://www.theroadlesstraveled.com/

[volunteeringinindia]

Volunteer with iSpiice this Winter Break!

Volunteer with iSpiice this Winter Break! Volunteering is a great way to give back, and there are many organizations that offer opportunities to do so. However, finding the right organization to volunteer with can be a challenge. If you're looking for an organization that offers a variety of volunteer opportunities and provides support throughout your experience, iSpiice is a great option.

iSpiice is a non-profit organization that offers volunteer opportunities in India, Nepal, Thailand, and Cambodia. Volunteers can choose to work in a variety of areas, including education, healthcare, construction, and more. No matter what your interests or skills are, iSpiice has a volunteer opportunity that's right for you.

In addition to providing support before and during your volunteer experience, iSpiice also offers guidance and resources to help you make the most of your time abroad. From helping you find housing and transportation to providing cultural orientation and language classes, iSpiice will support you every step of the way.

Why Volunteer with iSpiice? Volunteering with iSpiice is an opportunity to give back and make a difference in the lives of others. When you volunteer with iSpiice, you will have the opportunity to work with children, families, and communities in need. You will also have the opportunity to learn new skills and knowledge that can help you in your future career. volunteering with iSpiice is a great way to gain experience in the field of international development.

What Type of Volunteer Opportunities are Available? Volunteer opportunities with iSpiice are varied and depend on the needs of our partner communities at the time you volunteer. You could be teaching English to monks in Nepal, working on a construction project in India, or helping to run a local community center in Thailand. Whatever the opportunity, you will be making a difference in the lives of those you work with and learn about a new culture at the same time!

How to Get Involved? Volunteering with iSpiice is a great way to give back and make a difference in the lives of others. There are many ways to get involved, and we welcome volunteers of all ages and backgrounds.

To get started, simply fill out our online application form. Once we have received your application, one of our team members will be in touch to discuss the next steps. We ask that all volunteers commit to a minimum of two weeks, although we encourage longer stays if possible.

We are currently accepting applications for our winter break volunteer program. If you are interested in volunteering with us during this time, please let us know on your application form. We look forward to hearing from you!

What are the Requirements for Volunteers? Volunteers must be at least 18 years old and have a valid passport. There is no upper age limit for volunteers. Volunteers must be in good physical health and be able to complete a basic medical form. A criminal background check will also be required for all volunteers.

What are the Benefits of Volunteering with iSpiice? Volunteering with iSpiice provides a unique opportunity to immerse yourself in a new culture and gain invaluable experience working with people from all walks of life. You'll have the chance to learn new skills, make new friends, and contribute to something bigger than yourself.

In addition to the personal satisfaction that comes from helping others, volunteering with iSpiice also offers a number of tangible benefits. For example, you'll receive free lodging and meals during your stay, as well as travel insurance. You'll also receive training in various areas, such as child development and teaching English as a second language. And, perhaps most importantly, you'll gain an understanding of another culture that will last a lifetime.

Volunteering in India with iSpiice is an excellent way to spend your winter break. Not only will you be able to help others, but you'll also gain valuable experience and skills that can help you in your future career. If you're looking for a way to give back this holiday season, consider volunteering with iSpiice.

https://www.volunteerindiaispiice.com/volunteering-travel-programs-in-india/short-term-mini-break-volunteer-program-in-india-for-2-weeks/

[travelwithflavia]

Discover your passions and find new interests.

The Joys of Exploring the World

How do you feel when you think about traveling around the world? Does it fill your heart with joy and excitement?

Traveling around the world is a fantastic way to experience new cultures, challenge yourself, and learn more about the people and places that make up our planet.

With that in mind, let’s explore why venturing out into the world can be so rewarding.

The Thrill of New Experiences

There is something special about stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring the unknown.

When you venture to new places, you open yourself up to exciting experiences like trying exotic food, meeting locals from different countries, or learning a new language.

Each of these experiences will help you grow as a person by teaching you things that would have been impossible to learn without leaving home.

Making Connections Abroad

Traveling around the world allows you to meet people from all walks of life.

You can find common ground with locals who live on entirely different continents or even connect with fellow travelers who come from different backgrounds than yours.

Making connections abroad will give you a greater appreciation for the beauty and diversity within our global community.

Plus, it’s always nice to know that someone has your back if things don’t go according to plan while abroad!

Gaining Perspective on Life

Traveling also provides an opportunity to gain perspective on life in general. Seeing how other cultures live can provide valuable insight into how we view ourselves and our place in this world.

It can also give us a newfound appreciation for what we have at home—from technology and healthcare advancements to basic necessities like clean water and electricity—that many countries lack access to.

No matter where your travels take you, there is sure to be something that will surprise or inspire you along the way!

Exploring the world is an incredible experience that everyone should have at least once in their lifetime.

Not only does it provide amazing opportunities for personal growth and enrichment, but it also allows us to gain insights into other cultures that are often difficult to find elsewhere.

Whether it’s learning about local customs or making connections abroad, traveling around the world is an adventure worth embarking on!

So if you're ready for a journey filled with joy and excitement you can start planning your trip today.

Looking for The Best Deals when Booking Your Trips?

Check out this awesome link of my favorite travel platforms.

I've tried and tested them, so you can trust that they have the most unbeatable rates around - perfect to book any trip with total confidence.

Get ready to explore without breaking the bank!

[kz-i-co]

Selfish Desire

Request: "so y/n is in love with leeknow but he is her bestfriend's fiance because of some business matters." - aerenity

Pairing: Minho (Lee Know) x Reader

Genre: angst

Words: 4.3k

m.list | skz masterlist

Part 2

-

"Welcome back to Flight 413 to Seoul. Please exit the plane one at a time and make sure to gather all of your belonging. It was a pleasure being your captain for this evening and I hope you all have a safe trip to your destination. Thank you for choosing KE for your travel experience." The speaker turned off as many people were getting up slowly.

It was 4:00 in the morning so everyone was just waking up. Everyone except you of course. You couldn't sleep since plane rides messed with your anxiety so you were catching up on your shows instead to pass the time.

You felt like it was forever ago since you left for the states. Even the air felt different as soon as you stepped off the flight. You were gone for far too long.

You had an amazing opportunity to study abroad and begin your educational degree since you had the grades to graduate early. It was tough leaving your home behind but you felt like this was a once in a lifetime experience and you had to take it.

You held your bags and as you were the only one waiting for the bus. You didn't tell anyone when you were returning so you were all alone. 4:00 was a cruel time to get anyone out of bed. You stayed at the nearest hotel that was in your city and went to sleep as soon as you hit the mattress. You were exhausted.

....

You heard a knock early in the morning sending you awake that you couldn't help but feel annoyed. Was the hotel kicking you out already?

You dragged yourself to the door barely keeping your eyes open and as soon as you opened the door, you heard screaming and arms embracing you tightly. "You're back."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you (Y/N). Why didn't you tell me your flight was this morning, I've could of gotten you."

"Thank you Yeojin but I wasn't gonna call you at 4 in the morning." You said in between a yawn.

"You told me you weren't done with school until the 28th you liar, why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought I was at first but since I'm transferring back, I can leave earlier." You shrugged sitting on your bed.

"You look different." Your friend glared.

"What do you expect, it's been 3 years." You rolled your eyes. "You look different. Your hair is so short." You referred to her waist long hair that was now barely past her shoulders.

She smiled. "Okay, hurry get ready. We are going to hang out like old times. You, me and Minho."

Minho?

Your heart fluttered just hearing his name. You, Yeojin and Minho were inseparable since the 5th grade but the problem was your feelings grew stronger for your friend. It was bad enough that you felt going away was a good idea at the time since you didn't want to ruin your friendship and hopefully get over it but the lost feeling was still there just thinking about him.

"Earth to (Y/N)."

"Sorry." You got up and pulled out your suitcase.

"When's the last time you've spoken to him?"

"Um....last week actually." You said digging out your clothes.

"Has he said anything to you? Anything in specific?"

You looked at your friend confused. "Like what?"

"Oh nothing. Just curious what you guys talk about?" She was nervous.

"We talk about all types of things." You shrugged. "He told me he got another cat but that's about it."

"Oh right." She laughed.

"Is there something wrong?" You asked worried.

"No, of course not. You've just missed a lot that's all.....we will catch up when we go eat. Hurry and get ready."

You shook it off and continued getting ready. What was she hiding that had her all fidgety.

....

"Oh my gosh. Jyoti's! This was like our place." You smiled. "American food is good but I've missed Korean food so bad."

And there he was. Your eyes locked with Minho's and his face brightened up as soon as he saw you. You couldn't help but blush just seeing how handsome he has gotten, not that he wasn't before but he really grew up. You all did. 3 years can do a lot to a person.

He was quick to wrap his arms around you in a tight hug that you missed so much. He was warm and gentle. "I missed you so much." He said as you were still embraced.

Yeojin scooted into the booth next to Minho as you sat across from them, things felt different but familiar. You weren't kids anymore and it was obvious.

"So how was America? You fluent in English now?" Minho asked and you nodded with a smile.

"America is great but I missed it here. This is Home."

"You finishing your last year here?"

"Yup and I can finally graduate and be done with school forever."

"Easy for you to say, we still have a year and a half left, jerk." Yeojin sassed causing you to all laugh.

"So what have you guys been up to?" You asked and it got quiet quickly. Yeojin even looked at Minho nervously before she began.

"A lot of things happened since we lost our third partner in crime." Yeojin laughed, clearly still nervous. "There was a lot of things I wanted to tell you (Y/N) but it just wouldn't be the same over the phone."

"Okay. So shoot." You took a sip of your drink.

"Well." Yeojin held out her hand flashing it in front of your face. It took you a second to process until you noticed a ring on her finger causing you to cough from the sudden realization.

"You're engaged?"

"Yeah." She still looked at you nervously.

"That's terrific." You smiled.

"Really?" She finally smiled back.

"Yeah. Congratulations. Who's the lucky guy?" You asked and her face went blank again. She bit her lip nervously again as she looked at Minho.

Wait? She doesn't mean.....

"You don't mean you two?" You asked.

"Well, yeah." Your heart instantly shattered hearing her confirm. You fought back the devastation that wiped over your face.

You gulped trying to even get words out. "That's great."

"Really? Look I know it was always the three of us forever but I promise this won't change anything, you won't become a third wheel, we promise...." She rushed out.

"Oh no, it was bound to happen eventually right?" You just thought it would happen with you not her.

You were fighting back tears with a bright smile. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thank you (Y/N), we didn't know how to tell you." She held your hand.

You honestly couldn't tell what Minho was feeling. He wasn't obvious when it came to his emotions.

"One day we just clicked and two years later." They've been together for two years and they couldn't even tell you?

"So what about you (Y/N) have you met anyone in the states." Yeojin winked.

You didn't even want to be there anymore. You were having a breakdown and it was torture keeping it so hidden. "N-no, I was too focused on my studies."

"Same old (Y/N)."

Minho finally looked at you concerned as he puzzled what you were feeling. He knew you better then anyone and he had a feeling you weren't taking it as well as you seemed.

"I'm actually really exhausted." You grabbed your purse.

"Right. Her flight didn't land until 4:00 am. You only got 5 hours of sleep last night." Yeojin started.

"Yeah." You nodded looking down.

"We can hang out when you're over your jet lag." Minho smiled at you. "I'll take her home." Minho offered as he looked at Yeojin. "You need to get ready for work anyway."

"I still have a few hours left."

"Not enough. You had your share it's my turn."

"Fine." You all got up and you followed Minho to his car as he carried your luggage.

The car ride was quiet at first but relaxing. "Sorry she woke you up so early."

"It's fine. I have a little break before I go back to school." You leaned your head against the back of the seat.

"So you want to tell me how you're really feeling?"

"About?"

"Don't play dumb (Y/N)."

You nodded. "I'm just surprised that's all, I've never pictured you two."

"We've all been together for a long time."

"I know but you two are just so different." You shrugged.

"After you left, it was just us and we got closer."

"No, I understand."

"(Y/N) I-"

"It's okay Minho. Like Yeojin said, things don't have to change between us. The only difference is you two will kiss and hold hands and probably want more alone time so I know when to leave-"

He pulled the car over to stop your rant. "I thought you said you understand."

"I do." You answered and he looked at you, clearly not believing a word you were saying.

"I know when you're lying."

"Of course you do." You sighed. "Fine, you want the truth. It doesn't matter how you guys look at it or how you act around me but this officially makes me the third wheel no matter what and nothing is gonna make a difference."

He sighed. "It doesn't have to be."

"How? We'll never be able to hang out anymore as just friends, because you two will change that when you say I do. Please take me home now, I really am too exhausted to even cope with anything."

He started the car and finished the ride like you said with complete awkward silence.

"Can I ask one question?" You said as soon as he pulled up to your parents house. "If I never left, would you still have hooked up?"

"I don't know." He didn't look at you.

"Two years and you couldn't even tell me?" Your eyes watered again and you got out grabbing your things. "Thanks for the ride." You said quietly and quickly went inside.

Glad to be back.

-

You were ready to sulk the day away, until Yeojin was blowing up your phone of course, and next thing you knew she was hanging over your bed clearly not giving you your privacy.

"Your parents let me in." She smiled. "It's 11:30, get out of bed."

You would originally be hating this in the best way but now you didn't know what to think. You just rather be alone.

"I'm exhausted."

"But we have so much catching up to do." She was energized.

Of course you knew better, thinking Minho would share your rant. Even though the three of you have been friends for a long time, you had your pick and chooses of secrets between you and him, even things Yeojin didn't know about.

"Please (Y/N). There's so many things I want to ask you since everything is out in the open." She plopped down on top of you.

"I was thinking about having a movie night at my place. I'm feeling nostalgic."

"I have a lot of work to do-"

"You just got out of school." She was quick to question.

"But I need to get ready for next semester." You said anything to get out of it.

"You have months to do that. I finally got my best friend back and I want to do stuff with her."

"Alright fine....please get off of me."

"You use to love my cuddles......what has America done to you?" She whined as she felt your forehead for your temperature.

"Nothing. I'm just exhausted." You whined back.

"Yeah yeah yeah....I get it." She finally got off and let you get up.

"Ah shoot. My sister wants to talk to me about wedding plans....." She began texting in her phone. "Meet me at my place at 5 okay.....Don't be late." She said half way out the door.

And just like that. You were feeling sulky all over again. You just couldn't believe it was actually happening, even sooner then you thought.

....

You walked up hesitantly to your best friends apartment door getting ready to knock when a presence came up from behind. "Hey."

"Oh hey." Minho gave you a slight nod. "I didn't think you would show."

You shrugged your shoulders. "She practically assaulted me."

He gave a dim smirk. "I'm glad you came."

"Are you?"

"Of course (Y/N)."

"I don't want to third wheel you guys."

"You won't be." He brushed passed you opening the door.

"I can't believe you....I told you to wait. Now you ruined my carpet." You heard Yeojin whining, echoing throughout the room.

"I can get it out." Another unfamiliar voice broke out in a chuckle.

Now you knew the real reason you weren't the third wheel.

"Minho....I'm gonna murder your friend." Yeojin whined. "You leave for five minutes-"

"It slipped.....ow." Yeojin smacked Minho's friend interrupting him in the process.

"(Y/N) thank god you're here. These two together is seriously a nightmare." You couldn't help but grin from the amusement that was circling the room.

"Please excuse Minho's squirrel like friend, he's a special one."

"My names Jisung.....and let's not forgot the real reason Minho had to go out and get food." Jisung kindly shook your hand.

"Oh shut up. My ovens busted."

"Sure, let's just say that." He smirked.

"I'll kill you."

"Okay. Nice to meet you guys, I'm gonna help Minho in the kitchen while you two sort things out." You sped past them to help Minho with the food.

"There's nothing to sort.....you better clean that up."

"It's just wine, it will come out." You still heard them fighting in the living room.

"What the hell?" You laughed as Minho was taking out the containers.

"Trust me I know." He laughed back.

"So who is this friend?" You asked not being familiar.

"Oh Jisung? We were roommates freshman year."

"Seems like they are well acquainted."

"You have no idea." Minho laughed as he was quick to change his tone. "You okay? You were very upset yesterday."

"Can you blame me? You guys lied to me for two years. We've talked on the phone plenty of times Minho."

"I know. I was scared. Yeojin was scared."

"Because even though you say it's not, things are gonna change." You continued.

He sighed. "I know.....But I don't want them too."

"It's too late for that." Because they already have. Just knowing that they were already together in that way for two years was a hard reality check.

"I'm sorry. It's just a lot to process. I really am happy for you guys." You showed off a weak smile.

He gently held your hand for a second until the fight grew louder and closer in the matter of seconds.

"Minho, I'm sorry for ruining your fiancé's ugly carpet. There happy."

"Okay it's time to get the drinks out." Yeojin just smiled as she was getting nowhere.

"It's not like she owns the place." Jisung whispered causing you to giggle. "I'm sorry I didn't get to properly introduce myself. You're (Y/N) right?"

"Yeah." You smiled. He was actually really nice.

"You lived in America? That's pretty awesome."

"Yeah. Three years."

"I lived in Malaysia so I know a little English if you ever want to share any secrets about these two."

"Okay, sure thing." You giggled at his response as Minho smacked the back of his head.

He was pretty cool, you weren't gonna lie. You even felt more comfortable that he was here. You dreaded being a third wheel tonight but now you had someone to count on.

"The sad thing is I can't even use bleach because my carpets aren't white."

"Oh my god, I will rent you a carpet cleaner for Christ sakes. Stop whining."

"You better."

"Foods getting cold." Minho glared at the both of them.

...

After the food and a few drinks later, it was clear that Yeojin was drunk. The rest of you were causal but she must of slipped a few more then you thought.

She was on her hands and knees scrubbing her carpet with a dry towel, doing absolutely nothing to the stain.

You and Minho were in a fit of laughter as Jisung was shaking his head with guilt. "Minho I'm so sorry."

"She's fine. It's not even that bad."

"Jisung ruined my carpet." She whined.

"I'm gonna get her sober a bit." You got up and helped Yeojin to her feet and walked her to the kitchen. You gave her some water to begin.

"That stain will come out so easy, trust me....but we will worry about it tomorrow okay?" You reassured.

"Okay." She pouted. "This night was suppose to be about you and Jisung but he had to spill the wine."

"What?" You asked trying to understand what she just said.

"I invited Jisung to hook you guys up....I didn't want you to be a third wheel."

"But you said you wouldn't make me feel that way."

"That's pretty difficult when we are a couple."

"Wow, thanks for inviting me Yeojin but I think it's time for me to go." You quickly left her side and made your way to the front door.

"(Y/N) where are you going?" Minho was quick to stop you.

"Home." You said as you shut the door behind you.

Minho was close behind following you to your car. "What happened?"

"Yeojin just told me the real reason why Jisung was there."

"It's not what you think. We hang out all the time, she just wanted to see if you guys connected that's all." He defended.

"I don't need your pity. I get it, you guys are together now, you don't want me around but don't try to make me look like the bad guy."

"We want you around (Y/N) but that's the problem. Things are different and we are trying to work around it."

"By setting me up?"

"What's wrong with that?" He asked.

"Everything. I'm never gonna be able to look at you guys the same anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I liked you first." You slipped out. You didn't know if it was the alcohol in your system or the constant rage you felt.

"I'm so sorry....I shouldn't have said that." You turned towards your car.

"(Y/N) wait. You shouldn't be driving." He said calmly.

"I'll be fine." He stopped you once again. You couldn't help but stare as he looked at you like you were broken into a million pieces. "I'll walk then." You broke free from his embrace and were quick to begin your walk.

He didn't let you off the hook that easily as he was walking besides you. "How long?"

"What do you mean?" You played dumb.

"How long have you liked me?"

"(Y/N) please talk to me." He asked impatiently.

"Since our first junior high party." You confirmed.

He knew immediately.

"I was already developing a crush on you by that point but after that night I knew for sure that I was falling for you." You continued. "I didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin our friendship."

"Since our kiss."

The kiss. The big secret you both kept from Yeojin. It was your first party and of course everyone was playing spin the bottle. The game lasted a while before landing on you and embarrassingly enough the one who spun backed out humiliating you in front of everyone. Not only were you the laughing stock at the party, you were the only one that didn't get to experience your first kiss, until Minho of course.

He wanted you to experience it the right way so he took it upon himself to be your precious volunteer. Being best friends you both shrugged it off and decided to never mention it again especially to Yeojin but you couldn't let it go. You knew since then you have fallen for your best friend and were slowing dying instead thinking that the two of you would never be together.

"Yeah." You confirmed and he was puzzled, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"It's fine, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I'll be okay, I just need some time to think." You stared as he was still processing what you said.

"I wish you told me sooner." He said suddenly.

"But what then?.....we would be in the same situation."

"Maybe our friendship wasn't meant to be." You continued.

"Let's just talk about this later, maybe more sober." He spoke with slight sarcasm.

"I feel fine." Your house wasn't that far from Yeojin's apartment - right in town.

As you reached your door, you stumbled your way up the stairs from the lack of light that was only reflected from the streetlights. You held up your phone so you could dial in your parents passcode and Minho was right behind following you inside.

"You should go back to Yeojin now.....I'm sure she's going crazy with Jisung there annoying her." You took off your shoes and slipping into your slippers.

"Yeojin is fine." He was still studying you to see if you were stable. "Are you gonna be okay if I leave? What time do your parents get home?"

You shrugged. "I'm an adult. It's not like I haven't drank before. I will just go to bed." You leaned against your counter taking a sip of water. "Please stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He fiddled with his jacket avoiding your glare.

"Like I'm broken."

"I don't think that......You're the strongest person I know actually." He stepped closer. "But in a way that it could be dangerous."

"How so?" You tilted your head in confusion.

"You act tough on the outside to benefit everyone else but you don't stop and think about benefiting yourself." His voice was soft as he was closer to you.

"Well......Sometimes benefiting myself doesn't get me the best of luck." You played with his jacket before looking up at him.

"I'm sorry I left." You weakly whispered. He stared at you desperately before connecting his lips with yours.

You didn't believe it was real since the alcohol was playing games with you all night. But he was real and he was there, lifting you up on the counter as things escalated quickly. You pushed his jacket off his shoulders as he pushed his hands up your shirt loosening your straps that occupied your spine.

He was quick to follow further down your neck once you needed fresh air to process what was actually happening but the worst part was you couldn't stop. You were in fact the third wheel and now you were about to cause an explosion.

How could you do this to your best friend? In fact, both your best friends.

And here you were a moaning mess, gyrating your hips against his. You couldn't help it. You were weak. You were weak to his touch, his soft hands touching your sensitive skin, comfortably under your shirt. You felt him against you and you wanted it. You wanted him.

You reached for his zipper in a quick endeavor to get it over with since you were too far gone anyways but fate had it all in it's control as your front door opened, causing you and Minho to make a desperate attempt to clean each other up before your parents had a chance to enter the room.

"Hey." Your mother greeted.

"Hey.....uhh wheres dad?" You crossed your arms over your chest from your lack of bra that was now hiding in Minho's jacket he had draped over his shoulder.

"He's on his way. He's just getting out of work."

You were just glad that you had sobered up enough to hold a decent conversation.

"Hey Minho, I feel liked it been so long since I've seen you? How's your mom?"

"She's good. Still cooking." He smiled that big gummy smile you always adored.

"That's great. I hope you two aren't up to no good." Your mother glared remembering the good old times.

"I was just walking (Y/N) home that's all." He took a few steps towards the door.

"Where's your car?" Your mother looked at you.

"Ohh ummm....It's at Yeojin's.....we had a little to drink so we walked instead." You spilled the truth. "I'll get it in the morning."

"Thank you for being responsible." Your mother laughed as she put her bag on the counter that you just previously sat on.

"Well I hope you have a good night...." Minho looked at you with stern. "You too Mrs. (Y/L/N)."

"Anytime dear. Thank you again."

"Minho...." You followed him to the front door.

"Don't worry about it (Y/N)." He spoke. "We still have our secrets."

He reminded you.

You had this sharp pain in your gut. A pain you never wanted to feel but it happened and it was wrong and now it was another secret locked away in the darkest parts of your mind and you didn't know how to feel about it.

Whatever happens your betraying your best friend. But which one?

too be continued...

[magazinerry]

✭ study abroad ✭

Requested: no

Rating: R

Word Count: 5511

Blurb: Y/N is studying abroad and it is the last week of the semester.  Y/N and their roommates decide to go out. Y/N meets Harry at a club his dad owns.

✭ ✭ ✭

It was the last week of my study abroad session in Italy.  And, by last week I meant that school had already ended and it was the final days of having fun, getting drunk, seeing the sights, and all of that.  My two friends were adamant on traveling to one of the little beachy places by the shore.  I wasn't all that excited about heading down that way, but I knew that they would be willing to go wherever I wanted to tomorrow if I listened to them today.

We made our way down the coast, the drive on the bus taking about forty minutes.  I had no idea why they wanted to head so far away, but I pinned it on the fact that we had barely made it out to coast much this semester.  Of course, I blamed that on the semester, and the fact that we had a lot of nightlife where we were staying, so I guess heading to the coast just once wasn't the worst thing for any of us.

By the time we arrived, it was around ten.  I was thankful that we didn't look underdressed, my bikini top appearing to be a perfectly fine choice.  The jeans paired well with the look, and I was thankful I had gone for the black bikini top instead of a patterned one because this looked more like a shirt I would get off of a fashion website.

"What do you want to drink?" my friend Bell asked.  "I'm sure I can get us free drinks if I just ask the bartender ever so nicely."

It made me laugh, and I knew she was implying that she would try and probably offer to sleep with him or something.  It had been a way for us to get a lot of stuff free over our time in Italy, but I wasn't complaining.  This had been a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I knew that we wouldn't be here much longer so it was better to make the best of it than to leave and say that I wished I had done more.

"I'll just take a strawberry bellini," I told Bell.

"And I'll have the same," my other friend Kay agreed.

It wasn't long until Bell disappeared, finding her way up to the bar.  Kay and I decided we would start dancing our way around the outdoor club.  It was a mix of rock and sand for flooring, and I was a little confused as to how it worked, but was thankful that I had worn my birks so that I wouldn't have an issue navigating the different terrain.

There was a bit of excitement coming from a different side of the club, and I had no idea what it could have been about.  I simply blamed it on the fact that there was probably some group of people doing shots together.  After all, most of the time when we had gone out, a lot of noise and chatter would be made right before someone took a shot.  Though, my attention shifted when Bell came back with three drinks in her hands, Kay and I taking ours before she was left with only hers in her grasp.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"No problem.  Bartender boy said he'll take me out on the deck before we leave, so I can't be too disappointed."

Immediately, Kay and I wanted to see what he looked like.  I was almost positive that not one of the Italian men who we had come across on this trip had been bad-looking.  And, as I had expected, the bartender that Bell had managed to get drinks from was as attractive as any other guy any of us had hooked up with.  They always had dark hair, dark eyes, and an insanely attractive smirk plastered on their faces.  I wasn't sure what it was about Italians, but they really were a different breed.

By the time we had all finished our first drinks, Bell was heading back to the bar to get us some more.  Kay and I watched as she flirted with the bartender, playing with his hair across the counter as he made our drinks.  She was always so good at flirting, and I was certain that she had probably bagged the most people over the course of our semester abroad.  Then again, she was usually the one that was going out of her way to get us the drinks.

When she came over with the second round, I was already a little buzzed from the first one.  The three of us finally began to dance around the bar.  I was having fun, even if I didn't know if I was going to be standing on concrete one minute or sand the next.  It basically kept the adventure going, my bellini being downed rather quickly so that I wouldn't have to worry about holding it.  However, when I turned around to walk toward the bar, my entire body froze up.

I would be dumb to not focus on the incredibly attractive man about ten years away.  He had on a pair of white shorts, the cut accentuating his thighs, and I could see the beginning of a tattoo that he had on his thigh.  He had on a shirt that said "But Daddy I Love Him," along with pearls adorning his neck.  It looked like he had been out in the sun today, the tan not settling into his skin just yet because there was a slight redness to his flesh.  If I wasn't one-hundred percent positive if he was very attractive before, I knew that he secured his spot in my top ten when I caught a glimpse of his left arm, a bunch of mismatched tattoos taking up the space on his arm.

"Guys," I stated.

"What?"

"Don't freak out."

"About what?"

"I'm like ninety percent sure that is the most attractive man I have ever seen."

"What?" Bell screeched.  "Oh no fair!"

"Of course you spotted him first," Kay complained.

We had a rule.  Whoever saw a person first was the only person that was allowed to make a move on them the entire night.  It was why Bell always went to get drinks for us, I had realized.  She wanted to be the one that could call the bartenders, and I knew it was because they were always incredibly attractive.  However, I didn't really know how I was going to get such an incredibly attractive man's attention.  After all, I was sure he probably had plenty of girls falling to his feet.

Though, just as I was thinking about how to approach him, he glanced over.  I knew he could probably feel me staring at him, green eyes locking on me.  How was someone supposed to act when an 11/10 was looking right at you? I certainly didn't know, but I really didn't know what I was supposed to do when he looked me up and down.  It made my stomach hurt, knowing that someone I had been crushing on for the past minute was actually taking me in.  I looked away right when he held up his index to whoever he was talking to, my friends raising their eyebrows.

"Oh my God, I think he's coming over here," Bell quickly said.

"What? No."

"I wouldn't lie," Bell told me.

"No, I think she's right," Kay continued.

I didn't believe them.  They were probably just fucking with me to see if I would make a fool out of myself.  Shaking my head, I found myself glancing down at my empty drink, wondering if I could get myself another so that I could at least see if they were telling the truth.  However, it was clear I didn't even need to make my way to the bar to see if they had been lying or not, my eyes widening slightly when I heard a voice behind me.

"I figured I would come over and say hello since you couldn't keep your eyes off of me," he stated, Bell and Kay looking like they had no idea what to do as I slowly turned around to look at the singer himself.  "And, I mean, fair enough.  I'm a lot to take."

He had to be drunk to be this confident.  I had never met a man so full of himself right away.  He looked like he would be reasonably subtle, but, then again, a guy with those looks didn't have to be.  He could be as cocky as he wanted to be, and I was sure he would get whatever he would want.  For fuck's sake, he was about to get whatever he wanted out of me with that British accent.  But, I could tell that this was a man who had been drinking and was full of himself the way that he absolutely should have been.  After all, I was pretty sure not one man on this earth would ever match up to him, but I was incredibly excited to possibly get with one of the most attractive men we had seen this semester abroad.

"I'm Harry," he introduced himself.  "I don't think you know me, but my dad owns this place."

"Oh, I'd like to know you," I said without thinking.

My words caused him to smirk.  He glanced over his shoulder as if to see what his friends were thinking.  I didn't recognize anyone that he was with, but I figured that they were all people he hung out with here at the bar.  It was crazy to think I was talking to the owner's son, my mind reeling over the idea that I was probably going to sleep with a very wealthy man–even if it was generational wealth.  Harry glanced at my friends, then me, then my friends once more before his eyes landed on me.

"How old are you?" he asked me.

"Twenty-one."

"Lovely," he nodded, glancing at my friends once more.  "Listen, if I steal your friend, I promise she's in great hands.  Or, my hands might be in her, but–oh, did I say that out loud?"

I was blushing, not sure what to even say or how to react.  But, it soon turned into Harry asking my friends and I to follow him.  I had no idea what we were doing, but the three of us followed the man quickly.  Bell and Kay both looked like they were still just as stunned as I was, Harry leading us over to his group that he had been hanging with.

"Uh, friends, this is ... well, I can't say I know anyone's name, but I'm taking the pretty–well, they're all pretty–but I'm taking bikini top to my bungalow for a while.  Don't wait up."

Kay and Bell blew me kisses as I felt Harry's arm wrap around my shoulder.  I was overly nervous now, and any alcohol that I had in my system before was no match for these nerves that were coursing through my body.  How was I supposed to please a man who was obviously important around here? Of course, I was sure not that many people knew of him, but he was attractive.  I was probably fulfilling some girl's fantasy.

"I apologize," he stated as we walked down a brick pathway.  "I didn't really ask if you wanted to get to know me."

He had stopped now, his arm pulling off of me as he shifted so that he was standing in front of me.  There were cute little fairy lights along the walkway, and I would have thought it was romantic were it not for the fact that this was very clearly a hookup.  A hookup with the most attractive man I had ever seen.

"I mean," I started, stepping a little closer and resting one of my hands on his waist.  "I don't know, why don't you tell me?"

I knew what I was doing when I traced my index along the waist of his shorts.  He was very clearly intrigued, his eyes stuck on mine as I hitched my index into the band of his shorts.  Undoing the button as I continued to stare at him, I pulled the zip down, his eyes not breaking away from mine.  Still, I was a bit nervous, but I saw his eyes flutter when I pressed my palm against him, Harry very quickly beginning to harden beneath my fingertips.

"Glad we're on the same page then, love."

I nodded. He left his shorts undone as we continued down the walkway.  I would have expected there to be more people, but there were none. Harry's arm wrapped around me, my cheeks flushing when I felt him play with one of the strings to my bikini top.  He pulled me down a walkway toward the end of the pass through, my eyes narrowing when I noticed a door not much farther.  However, I watched as he pulled a key out of his pocket, unlocking the door before pushing it in for me.

"Ladies first."

"Oh, a gentleman."

"Sure," he nodded.  "You're going to wish I was here in a few minutes."

It made me blush, Harry shutting the door.  I was going to ask how he wanted to start this whole thing because I always sucked at starting even if I had basically made the first move.  Though, he saved me the hassle, locking the door before he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.  I was surprised, a little breathless when he dropped me on the mattress in a separate room.  It threw me off guard, Harry tugging his top on.  If I thought he had a lot of tattoos before, he had even more now.  There were mirrored swallows just beneath his collarbone, a big moth on his stomach, mirrored ferns on his hips.  They were completely obscure, but they laid out his body perfectly.

"I think you just very quickly took the first spot on my study abroad trip."

"Damn, we're going to fuck and I'll never see you again," he sighed, as if he couldn't bare the thought.  "What a shame."

It made me laugh.  Or, I laughed briefly before he started unbuttoning my pants.  I could tell he was hard, his shorts providing a lot of restraint on him.  He had to be big, too, and I was a little nervous to be honest.  After all, most of the guys that I had been with on this trip had been average, but if he looked this big and wasn't even out of his shorts yet, I could only imagine what the real thing would be like.

"I'll get my dick out in a second, lift up your ass."

I listened to him, lifting my hips off the bed so that he could slide my jeans off.  It left me in a bikini bottom, Harry staring down at me with a hunger I had never seen.  I didn't even think I was all that fit, but with the way he was looking at me it was as if he had never been with anyone before.  Though, I knew that was clearly impossible.  He had too much game for this to be his first.  I was just simply surprised that he seemed at a loss for words.  That, or I was thinking way too deep into it.

Very quickly, he was shoving his shorts off, Harry still staring at my body, taking everything in.  I was almost becoming nervous with the way he was looking down at me, swallowing hard as he quickly flipped me over onto my front.  I heard shuffling in a drawer, figuring that I knew what he wanted so I quickly moved, positioning myself so that my chest was touching the bed and my ass was up for him.

"God, fuck," he cursed, and I heard him fumbling with a wrapper as he climbed onto the bed quickly.  "I fucking love that you know what I want."

"What you want, what I want..." I trailed off.

He hummed, agreeing with me.  I felt his hands grab the waist of my bottoms, pulling them down to my knees.  It forced my legs to shift slightly closer, and I wondered if he was doing that for my benefit or his.  Though, not much later I felt him sliding his head along my slit, a whine escaping my lips.

"Shit, wait," he said.

"Don't fucking wait, put it in."

"Well, you answered what I was going to ask.  Just wanted to make sure you were ready."

"If you don't start fucking me, I'm–"

And before I could even finish he was pressing in, a soft whine leaving my lips.  I was gripping the sheets, wanting to tap out when I felt him stretch a part of me that I didn't think anyone had ever touched.  My body was aching when he pulled back to push him again, needing him in me.  It was horrible that not only was he going to be my number one in Europe, but I was almost positive that it was going to be the best one night stand I had ever had in my life.  It wasn't fair, and by that I meant it wasn't fair that I would feel this good probably once in my entire lifetime.

He was keeping a steady pace, one of his hands holding my waist while the other rested against my lower stomach, Harry pressing his palm against the flesh gently.  It wasn't a lot of pressure, but it was enough to make me feel breathless as he took me, his hips crashing into me again and again with such force that I was glad he was taking me in this position.  This way, my ass could at least try and subdue some of the force behind his thrusts.

"Such a good girl for me.  Knew I would want you on your hands and knees for me."

"Please," I begged quietly.

"Please what?" he asked.

I shook my head, my eyes squeezing shut as he continued to fuck me.  He was stretching me in a way that I had never felt, Harry continuing to create a steady rhythm.  I felt the palm of his hand press a little harder on my stomach, a whiny moan escaping my lips.  Honestly, I was not someone who was usually very vocal in bed, but he was doing more than I had ever felt with any other man.  Certainly, I had been in this position before, but no one had ever created such a pressure and burning passion deep within me.

"What do you want?" he asked again.  "Say it.  Tell me."

I whined softly.  It caused him to fully stop what he was doing, Harry pulling out of me completely.  I had been edged before, but this was unlike anything I had ever experienced.  This was absolute torture.  He was hurting me, basically, taking away so much pleasure that I could only feel pain in this moment.  I hadn't noticed until now that my legs were shaking, my breathing unsteady as well as he continued to stay out of me.

"You're not listening.  I don't like when my girl doesn't listen."

His girl.  I had never wanted to belong to someone so badly.  It didn't matter his economic value, rather, the fact that he was fucking me in such a way I had never felt before.  I was dizzily aching, tears in my eyes for the first time ever while I was in the middle of having sex.  Taking in a few sharp breaths, I felt him grip my waist again, clearing my throat to try and get an answer out.

"Clit," I murmured.

"What about it?" he questioned.

"I-I want you to–" he began sliding himself against me, my body shuddering.  "Touch me there."

"You have to do me a favor."

"A-Anything."

"Good girl," he said softly, taking one of my hands and pressing it against my lower stomach easily.  "You're going to feel me right here.  I want you to press real hard.  I want to feel your hand, yeah?"

It made me sick to my stomach how hot this man was.  He was saying things that I had never heard any other man say to me before, but I was incredibly interested in every word he was murmuring to me.  He continued to play with me, teasing me by shifting the head of his dick against my slit.  I was aching for him to press in already, keeping my hand on my lower stomach the way he had requested.  Though, I found myself whining softly when he simply stuck his tip in, his hand squeezing my hip when I felt his fingertips trace along my clit.

"How bad do you want it?"

"So, so bad," I told him.

"Mhm.  I don't think you want it."

"I do, I do," I said to him.  "Please.  Need you so badly.  Wanna feel you.  You're the deepest ever."

It was what sent him pressing in completely again.  I let out a loud whine, my hand pressing against my lower stomach.  I could feel him against my palm, my breathing rigid with the feeling of him.  He was still only slightly playing with my clit, not giving me much stimulation, but enough for me to feel like I was overstimulated now.  I took a few deep breaths, knowing that he was purposely staying still inside of me.  Pressing my hand against my stomach even more, he grunted, leaning forward over me.

"I want to eat you out next," he told me.  "After you come."

He then began to intensely touch me, my legs shaking as he began to fuck me quickly.  It was overwhelming to me, my body aching as he hit my hand with each thrust.  I was begging, being very noisy as he took me and quickly flicked his index and middle finger over my clit.  Honestly, I had never felt this way before.  I kept thinking it over and over, knowing that it was true–that I was insanely turned on in a way that I had never felt in the past.  It was crazy to me, my heart pounding in my chest.  I was moaning loudly, and I was sure I sounded like a fucking porn star at this rate, but I had truly never experienced someone so good.

It took only a few more moments for me to finish, my legs shaking to a point that I gave out some, collapsing onto the mattress.  Harry chuckled behind me, his dick still buried inside of me.  I could tell he hadn't finished yet, and while my legs were still twitching as I rode the aftershocks of my orgasm, I felt him pull out, the curly-haired man walking around to the other side of the bed.  He glanced down at me, his disk not very far from my face as he took the condom off.

"You'll be my good girl, won't you?"

I normally didn't give head.  It was something that I usually preferred to steer away from.  I mean, any time that I had a boyfriend, I would give head, but I usually didn't with strangers.  Yet, here was this man, standing in front of me asking for head.  And, instead of being incredibly repulsed by him, I shifted, moving so that I could kneel for him.  Or, I went to kneel but fell into him when I tried to step off of the bed.

"Damn, my bad," he laughed, holding me against him.  "You good?'

"So good," I nodded.

He chuckled again, nodding.  I found myself breathing deeply, allowing him to help me kneel in front of him.  He grabbed a fistful of my hair, my hand wrapping around his length easily.  He was genuinely bigger than I had expected him to be, and while I thought the shorts would give something away, I was incredibly wrong.  He was much bigger than I could have anticipated, my body already knowing this but I was hoping that my throat would be able to handle some of him.

Flattening my tongue against his head, he hissed almost immediately, tugging my head away from him.  I smirked up at him, Harry shaking his head at me as if he didn't like what I had done.  Of course, I knew that if he didn't like it, it simply meant that part of him was extra sensitive.  Taking a deep breath, I found myself wrapping my lips around his head, licking along his dick gently.  He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing softly as I began to take more of him into my mouth.  My tongue caressed each part of his dick, the vein running along his length pulsing beneath my tongue.  He was throbbing in my mouth, and I could tell he was painfully hard.  He wanted to finish quickly, was begging to do so, and I knew I needed to make him come quickly.

"You good at deepthroating?" he questioned.

I stared up at him, his dick only halfway in my mouth and it was nearing the back of my throat.  The thought of him shoving himself all the way down my throat was insane to me, but a part of me wondered if I could take him all.  Glancing at what more I had left of him before I looked back up, he lightly pressed my head forward, pushing more of his dick into my mouth.  It caught me off guard a little bit, but I recovered quickly, Harry smirking down at me.

"Let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours."

Again, I normally would have said no.  I was surprised I was even giving head at this point, but I found myself nodding.  And, before I even realized what was happening, he was shoving my head down along his length, forcing me to take more of him.  It was difficult, to say the least.  I was struggling, wanting to gag as he hit deep in my throat.  I had tears running down my cheeks, my throat on fire as he fucked my mouth.  Even if I had given head before, this was certainly the first time anyone had taken my mouth like this.  He was aching, throbbing against my tongue and my lips as he held my head and fucked my mouth.  I did my best to do what I could for him, my free hand that wasn't on his thigh for balance shifting between my own thighs.  There was something so incredibly sexy about what we were doing, and I was aching to ease what I was dealing with.  My fingers were slick the moment they touched my entrance, Harry groaning when he realized what I was doing.

"Oh, baby, can you get two in there?"

I listened to him, pressing my middle and ring finger up into me easily.  It caused me to moan around him, Harry groaning as he fucked my mouth.   I could feel my legs already twitching again, Harry still fucking my mouth with such a need that I was beginning to think he was close to coming finally.  I continued to play with myself, focusing on trying to keep the same rhythm as him.  He was so hot, and sexy, and aggressive.  I normally was more into an even balance of power, but I was on my knees allowing this man to fuck my mouth, so I knew who was in charge.

"Three," he panted.  "Get three in there."

I didn't listen right away, Harry watching as I continued to fuck myself with two fingers.  It caused him to stop, my nose pressing against his skin.  His dick was down my throat, and I was doing everything in me not to move so I wouldn't gag on him.  Harry's grip on my hair was tight, and I knew that even if I tried to move, he would simply keep me in my place.

"Put a third finger in now," he muttered lowly.  "I want you to moan again."

Following his directions, I pushed a third finger into my entrance, a moan trying to escape my mouth, but the vibrations got trapped around Harry's dick.  It was apparently all he needed to come as well, Harry fucking my mouth in a poor rhythm as hot spurts of come filled the back of my throat.  I swallowed as quickly as they came, it taking a few extra thrusts for him to finish before he was kneeling down in front of me, Harry shifting so that his thigh that had the tiger tattoo was now spreading my legs apart.

"Ride my thigh."

"What?" I asked.

"I need to feel how wet you are again, and it's going to take my dick a second to catch up."

I pulled my fingers out of me, my eyes widening when Harry grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand up to his mouth.  He let his tongue hang out of his mouth, pressing the three fingers against his tongue.  It was followed by him pulling them into his mouth, my eyes focused on him as I shifted, moving so that my slit rested right over the tiger tattoo.

"Fuck," he grunted.  "You're soaking wet."

It made me blush, Harry allowing me to shift my hips back and forth along his thigh.  I was incredibly horny, so any form of friction was better than none at all.  Although, I felt him play with the strings of my bikini top, not even realizing that I had no clue where my bottoms were until this very moment.  However, the thoughts slipped my mind when I watched Harry toss the suit top aside, his eyes focused on my tits now.

"You had to get these done," he said softly.  "No way they just sit like this."

"Oh, they sit like this."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to break my own rules and get your number.  I want tit pics from you weekly."

"That's no fun," I murmured to him.

"No? What would you rather?"

"I'd rather ..." I breathed in harshly at the friction I was creating, Harry smirking down at me with each movement.  "If you want to see my tits, I'll just facetime you."

"Oh, you're naughty just like me.  No but seriously, you got these done."

"I didn't.  Literally hold them, they're real."

He very quickly grabbed a hold of my tits, my cheeks flushing when he squeezed them multiple times from different angles.  I was used to getting compliments on my tits, but I had never had a man quite literally scrutinize them because he thought they were fake.  He shook his head, one of his hands continuing to play with my tits while the other slid down my waist to where I was riding his thigh.

"God, the things I want to do with you."

"Mm, tell me," I murmured.

"Buy you a toy," he murmured in my ear as his middle finger slowly stroked my clit.  "Put it in you while we're apart.  Press the button when you least expect it."

"Harry," I whined, his middle finger teasing by dipping into my folds before he went back to tracing around my clit.  "Please."

"How much longer are you in Italy, baby?"

"Week."

"A week? I can fuck you for a week longer?"

"It would be rude if you didn't."

He kissed me for the first time then, my breathing unsteady as he began to finger me without warning me first.  He had magical fingers, Harry managing to keep attention on my clit while also filling me entirely.  It was insane to me, soft moans being shared between us as we kissed.  His mouth was soft, warm, and sweet.  It was everything I could have expected from such an incredibly attractive man.

"Might have to tell your friends to get you tomorrow," he muttered against my mouth.

"Mhm."

"I want to keep fucking you until the sun comes up."

"Please," I agreed.

"And after that."

"Yeah."

It made him chuckle.  I could feel him hardening against my thigh, but, before he fucked me again he reminded me that he wanted to eat me out first.  I didn't even recall that it was what he had wanted to do, my mind dizzy from everything that was going on between the two of us.  And, it continued that way.  After he had eaten me out, I had taken a quick break to text my friends and tell them I was not going to be heading home this evening.  But, I didn't even pay attention to their responses, focused more on the fact that Harry was ready to fuck me again.  It really was the best sex I ever had, and while I knew I only had a week left in Italy, I was now looking forward to trying to spend every waking minute with the only many who knew how to fuck me well.

[sunflowersseemhappy]

Do you have any headcanons for main 6 set in modern times? What kind of job would they have, what music would they like or whatever else? I love your headcanons, they're always so detailed and on point 💖

I really loved doing this, only reason it took so long is because I definitely over thought a lot of this. Thank you for the ask! I hope you enjoy the headcanons, I definitely want to do more of this! SO when I have the time I definitely will and I actually have a rough plan of what the story and the background for the six and MC’s would be.

The “Event” mentioned references the plague but when and if I get to it that will all be explained.

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED but here is my Masterlist in the meantime!

Asra

You’ll usually find Asra in one of two places, the shop or the local cafe/bakery, living the slow city life.

Asra loves to people watch and more importantly he loves photography, he’s always taking pictures, a lot of them are of MC.

His bedroom wall is plastered with his photography and he sells a lot of them as a side gig on etsy.

He has a great blog too.

But his main focus is the shop, tucked away on a quiet corner street it feels faintly magical. Asra does tarot, sells candles, crystals and other trinkets, as well as herbal remedies that Julian admits work quite well.

In this AU Asra grew up in foster care, so when he finally found his home in the shop he never thought about living anywhere else.

It’s stayed that way for years, sharing a two bedroom flat above the shop with MC, its cluttered at times, filled with secondhand belongings but Asra loves having his own space and own things.

And he so loves taking his little holidays out of the city, bringing back more trinkets that bring good luck and fortune.

Asra always wears sneakers or trainers on his feet, mainly because all he does is walk in the city.

Although he does have a painted van for the shop deliveries; he and MC spent a week painting a swirling pattern on its sides.

His wardrobe is all tees with faded logos and cotton pants but on the rare occasion he decides to dress up Asra has an impossibly colourful blouse and faded jeans he loves to wear.

And there are so many hats! Vesuvia is sunny but he has more hats than he needs, although it's nice to have one for any occasion.

Also has crocs, they are an abomination of pink.

Asra’s phone of choice is an old samsung, he keeps meaning to update it but he’s a bit scared the photos on it will get lost.

Asra and technology don’t always mix well, for some reason...

Even in this universe Asra wouldn’t be Asra if he didn’t have Faust, a mischievous lavender python who always seems to escape her vivarium and ends up in Asra’s camera bag.

When Asra picked her out at the pets store he was told he was the only person she had ever not bitten or squeezed. Asra believes in fate, so he took her back home with him and the two are inseparable.

Asra oh so loves music, and just about any kind of tune can be found on his mp3 however he soon found his favourite to be the chillhop tunes the cafe played everyday. They really relax him.

The biggest Disney fan when he was younger, Asra then slowly decided Dreamworks were better but his favourite movies are those from Studio Ghibli. Asra simply adores the art, the music and the stories.

As mentioned Asra loves photography but he also quickly discovered watercolour paint and he doesn’t claim to be good at it but he does love making little pieces of art for birthdays and Christmas.

Speaking of which Christmas is his favourite holiday.

Asra also dabbles in growing orchids, he's too successful and there are so many he and MC don’t know what to do with them!

Asra’s favourite hobby aside from photography is rollerblading. He’s pretty good at it, cruising through the streets and along the dockside of the city (he definitely dragged MC into trying it out).

Asra never really thought he’d be one to get a tattoo but after getting Faust he changed his mind, since then he has a gorgeous complicated tattoo of the little snake on his shoulder blade.

It was only after “The Event” that Asra got another one; MC’s favourite flower on his hip bone.

Nadia

Nadia Santrivia, she’s beautiful, generous and married one of the richest men in the city, for the most part she’s alright with that.

Although Nadia hasn’t always lived in Vesuvia she’s tuned into the city around her so well, she’s in her element and thriving.

Work doesn’t end, if there was ever a beginning to start with. It's one thing after another; approving designs, attending fancy dinners, opening a charity fundraiser. Life is busy for the CEO of Vesuvia Industries.

Nadia’s happy to run Lucio’s business, because she knows she can do good with it but she can get lonely. Thankfully she has several friends who she can rely on to cheer her on...

The most important thing is that she can be herself, her own person, being last in line for her parent’s business and overshadowed by several sisters Nadia needed an escape.

Vesuvia provided the opportunity.

Nadia’s apartment is sat above the clouds in the skyscraper of Vesuvia Industries, much the same as the other universe home and work go hand in hand when it comes to Nadia.

She’s not materialistic, her apartment is clean and open and perfect for yoga and other purposes that require open space. It's very new and high tech, the coffee machine is her favourite thing though.

The views of the sunrise over the bay are gorgeous.

Ashamed to admit she has tons of shoes.

It’s usually required of Nadia to have the suits and dresses befitting a woman of her status, so when the sun goes down or she has a day off Nadia looks like an entirely different person.

She’s no less stylish, but her airy blouse’s, ripped denim jeans, subtle leather jacket and ankle boots give her a whole different persona, and man does it make her look good on her motorcycle.

Yes a motorcycle, Nadia owns one. It comes out of her garage only once a month but when it does she turns heads.

The rest of the time Naida is pretty eco-friendly with an electric car the business made just for her in a deep shade of purple.

As the CEO of the company Nadia is expected to have the latest iPhone model, her phone is always ringing and if she weren’t so patient she’d probably hurl it off the skyscraper roof.

Nadia always wanted a pet but she could never figure out what kind, and one dropped into her lap literally. Turns out she’s an owl person, although Nadia would never consider Chandra a pet more a companion.

A skyscraper is no place for a semi-wild owl but Nadia is happy enough to make the trip to the stables outside of Vesuvia to see Chandra and give her toys. Such a change from the small owlet Nadia raised.

When it comes to music Nadia is very picky, she spent her childhood listening to her sister’s choice of music and certain songs just put her in a bad mood, except for jazz.

That music preference surprised her but as soon as she discovered Lucio didn’t like it she was hooked. She thought about learning the saxophone (not to annoy Lucio or anything, no definitely not...)

Nadia’s not a big movie watcher, although she is a big fan of disaster movies when the mood strikes (it's nice to think about more chaotic things happening than signing a stack of papers), mainly she only has time to watch tv shows.

Her favourite is the Walking Dead but MC has caught her watching ‘how its made’ shows too. Of course being an avid inventor Nadia would be enthralled by seeing how her car or coffee machine is put together.

Speaking of inventing, although Nadia always wanted to make it her job she’s only ever gotten to approve the inventions her company makes.

It's not entirely what she wanted but thankfully she has just enough time to squeeze in working on her little projects. Ones she hopes will help others one day.

Nadia’s found it super important in the big city to keep herself safe, between her hobbies of yoga, kung fu and fencing she’s a pretty formidable opponent. It’s saved her life more than she’ll ever admit.

Her other hobbies, to list a few are horse riding, polo, piano, swimming, wine tasting, and playing those arcade grabber machines (she has about 50 teddy bears and MC has about the same amount). Most of those hobbies began in her childhood.

Nadia likes to pretend she is above getting a tattoo but anyone who knows her well enough will reveal she has a owl shadow tattoo on her inner heel.

Julian

Poor Julian is the definition of a struggling city batchelor, and he certainly wouldn’t have it any other way.

Still the most well traveled of the group Julian spent his formative years abroad in the army as a field medic (where he met Lucio), now though he’s a lean mean crime fighting machine!

Well he’s a forensics doctor for the Vesuvia PD, but it still counts as being a crime fighter! He’s never really lost that dramatic flair that's for sure.

He’s been a bit of everything; medic and doctor, waiter, translator, actor, sailor, troublemaker and a fugitive (but that’s a story for another day).

But Vesuvia truly is his real home, a place he’s always come back to and where he’s made friends and family, enemies, lovers, and memories.

Sure he lives in the ‘bad part’ of town as Asra calls it, but Julian feels at home enough that it doesn’t bother him, that and he’s got Mazelinka to handle the riff raff.

The two of them share a two-storey house that sits next to his favourite bar, a bit too convenient for Maz’s liking. Despite that the place is cozy and old, all wood flooring and furniture that's been around longer than Julian’s lifetime, it’s filled with the scent of cooking and coffee and other than the box tv and Julian’s phone there's almost no modern technology.

Julian’s room has faded photos of his friends, and postcards from places he’s been too and a few posters of his favourite plays, as well as rough sketches tacked to the corkboard his desk is littered with papers and he even has an old school microscope.

In the mess of his room only Julian can find the thing that he’s looking for, he calls it an ‘organized mess’ when in reality it’s really just a mess.

Unfortunately this extends to his clothing choices too, Julian is terrible at laundry so there is no end to the stains on his mellow patterned tees and jeans, the only smart thing about his wardrobe are his boots and oxfords.

Quite true to form his black trench coat is a constant companion. He usually dresses like he’s in a black and white movie or like a scruffy doctor when he’s in his lab coat.

Still has an eye patch, his depth perception when crossing roads is not great... there are a lot of hospital bills.

Also the reason he doesn’t drive unless he can help it, Julian doesn’t own a car but he’s prone to borrowing one if he needs it (usually from Asra).

Julian is very much the guy on the subway who falls asleep on your shoulder because it's the only place his mind isn’t working overtime.

MC thinks it’s very cute.

Julian’s not really too fussed about his phone of choice, Samsung, Apple, so long as he can make calls and do google searches on symptoms of a flu he’s good. No matter how hard he tries his screen is always cracked.

People often point out the raven following Julian around, he’s not too sure if its the same one but Julian knows its his own fault feeding the scrawny thing when it landed on his window pane. Now it won’t leave him alone, Julian took to calling it Malak and he’s quite fond of the bird even if it likes to cackle for food outside his window at an ungodly hour in the morning.

Maz has threatened to cook Malak on more than one occasion.

Music is one of the few things that helps Julian focus, he’s not usually super into any particular artist or album but his main love is music from musicals and movie soundtracks, if he’s able to do so he’ll sing along.

Lead forensic doctor Valdemar finds it highly unprofessional when they are conducting autopsies.

Almost has no time to watch movies or tv but if you strapped Julian to a chair and put on Brooklyn 99 or any kind of superhero movie he might enjoy it just a little bit...

Honestly though those things are just background noise for him, Julian will put on the tv to keep himself occupied while he’s doing reports. But he loves comedy movies and shows, they might tear him away from his laptop just long enough that he gets a few good laughs.

However if Mazlinka gets the old camcorder out he’s all over watching old home videos of him and Portia and his old hound dog, he’s just so nostalgic sometimes.

Thinks learning counts as a hobby, Julian habitually grabs any book he can to read through so youtube is a miracle in his eyes. Free content, that he can listen to and learn from as well as visually see? Yes please.

Julian learned to play the fiddle when he was younger, for a time as a teen he even went street performing to earn money for Portia’s obsession with bracelet making. He doesn’t play it much anymore but he’ll give MC a tune anyday.

He’s also very invested in cocktail mixing, only thing he mixes is Salty Bitters, he’ll argue any day that the Salty Bitter counts as a cocktail.

Also very invested in his self sustaining bio-tank at work, the other officers are growing concerned about the leeches Julian likes to keep in it. They’re planning an intervention.

The only tattoo Julian had was one forcibly given during “The Event”, his ‘murderers mark’ on his hand. He’s really ashamed of it because it reminds him of the part he had in the disaster that befell Vesuvia.

Muriel

He definitely suits the other universe more, it's even harder to get away from people in this modern world.

But the start remains the same, he was lost and his only friend was Asra for a long time, until Lucio came along and tricked him into doing unspeakable things as a ‘bodyguard’ until he escaped.

People are unavoidable and Muriel keeps to himself during his job as a keeper for a local animal sanctuary, raising and re-releasing wildlife with other volunteers, he practically runs the place.

But the volunteers know not to bother him especially when he goes back to his house on the hill, to take care of his chickens before he vanishes like usual into his house.

No one knows much about him, and he prefers it like that.

Muriel’s home is simple and honestly built for one, there’s only one chair, only one pillow on the bed, only one set of cutlery, only one of everything. It leaks on occasion and always needs fixing, he’ll forgo sleep to fix things.

Who needs more than four hours of sleep anyway?

A lot of Muriel’s belongings are from garage sales, or picked up off the side of the road, not a lot of money goes toward his comfort Muriel prefers that the animals in the sanctuary have comfortable beds and good food.

Muriel’s clothes? He wears them till they die, an usually when he picks them up from a garage sale they’re already pretty close.

For that reason Muriel doesn’t have a specific choice of clothing, he owns jumpers, tees, denim jackets, flannels and whatever jeans and pants fit. He has one pair of khaki coloured boots that are surprisingly well maintained and usually wears a beanie or cattleman hat to hide his face.

Old pick up, old pick up, old pick up! Owns an old pick up truck he fixed up, it breaks down regularly and only plays radio but Inanna enjoys riding in the back. Muriel likes driving a lot on those country roads.

All that’s to be said about Muriel and his phone is this; he owns a nokia and has no intention of getting a smartphone. Ever.

His hands are a bit big for it though, he’s called MC and Julian accidently so many times... and he only usually text’s, so that's awkward.

Inanna is Muriel’s constant companion, and when they’re in the city man do the two of them turn heads. Inanna is a wolfdog in this universe and she definitely looks more wolf than dog.

But she really is a big sweetheart, Muriel raised her from a puppy after she was rejected and placed in a shelter, he knew a wolf dog would need some special attention to grow into a perfect companion rather than a dangerous animal.

Anyone can look at Muriel and instantly think he’s one of those people who would play country music, for the most part that’s true. He does play the guitar and can sing okay, he does like country but his real love of music comes from indie artists.

He can’t really explain it but the music gives him a sense of carelessness and hope he’s never known.

Doesn’t really watch tv or movies, Muriel is almost always too busy for that but he’s found it the strangest thing, Inanna likes watching tv...

After that he got drawn in by the documentaries about animals, he didn’t really realize that people did shows about the habitats and behaviours of animals but he finds himself entranced by it when he passes by.

He soon relented and sits on the floor with his arm draped over Inanna as they watch documentaries about wolves in Alaska.

With the amount of animals Muriel raises anyone would call it a job, Muriel however would argue it's a hobby for him. Sure waking up every hour in the night to feed raccoon babies isn’t ideal but it's never been anything short of joyous to watch them go back to the wild.

Muriel's other hobby centres around his guitar and learning songs to play to himself and maybe a certain person *cough* MC *cough*.

He’s also an avid baker, none of his meals are ready made. Leading on from that he forages for mushrooms, and herbs rather than buys them.

Muriel doesn’t have a tattoo, only his scars.

He thought about getting some but he doesn’t trust someone to touch him that way and also he’s not a big fan of needles.

Probably a good thing otherwise Inanna and all his chickens names would be on his arm.

Portia

Absolutely suits the modern life in this universe, Portia somehow finds the time to do everything, the bustling worker or the relaxed dreamer.

She’s almost everywhere in the city, doing everything at once; working at Vesuvia Industries, grabbing the sweetest iced tea at the cafe, exploring the corruption of downtown streets.

Portia is obsessed with knowing every inch of the city, and what goes on inside it because it's a very strange city with a stranger history.

Portia is a great and helpful assistant to Nadia, but she’s also hiding a lot including her identity as Pasha Devorak the reporter for Vesuvian Times.

She has as many curious secrets as the city.

Portia previously lived in a small studio flat however since working for Nadia she has been lucky enough to afford to rent out a small cottage outside the city. She loves it so much and other than being in an AU not much has changed between the two cottages.

It’s shielded by so many grand trees and a vivacious garden that it feels like her own little world, the inside of the cottage is filled with hand knitted blankets, painted glass figurines and the warm smell of baked goods.

Sometimes its a bigger place than Portia can manage by herself but she likes taking to fixing things as they come along, she definitely is a fan of the saying “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it!”

Her clothing choices are just so cute and by no means is she afraid of showing off her cottage core style; jumpers, skirts, vest tops, crop tops and patterned blouses look really good on her. Of course the garden requires the heavy duty stuff, sweatpants, a tattered tee and the old hoodie that refuses to die.

She’s not to much into heels even though she’s short, Portia prefers pumps and loafers because “comfort over beauty!” (although she would be pretty cute with or without).

Nadia finds Portia’s headstrong and optimism very amusing and definitely takes a few life lessons from Portia.

Who needs to drive? Portia doesn’t, she loves taking the bus or the train wherever she goes. That way she can bop her head to her tunes while watching the landscape go by, in a beautiful intricate place like Vesuvia it's important to take it all in.

That and everyone can agree that Portia behind the wheel of a vehicle is a disaster, she just gets so distracted.

Nadia has offered Portia a new phone many times but Portia is plenty happy enough with her older gen 6 iphone (because if she got a new one she’d have to get wireless headphones!) Also she’d feel bad for Siri.

Unfortunately Pepi the cat came from terrible circumstances, certain circumstances where Portia jumped of a bridge after witnessing someone chuck a mewling bag into the river.

But Portia is so thankful for her amazing kitten, the two of them protect each other. Though Pepi’s idea of protecting Portia is making sure the birds don’t feed from the feeder outside and meowing at the fridge when it’s too loud.

Portia’s music taste is disarming to those who don’t know her well, she is a huge fan of rock, any rock music just so long as it’s good and a classic (ACDC, Queen, etc...) she likes to think she is a connoisseur of rock.

Julian can not put into words how much he abhorred it when his little sister would blast that music to drown out his.

Portia will either watch every movie or show when it comes out or will binge watch a show or movie after forgetting it existed. There is no inbetween, but she loves media, consumes it even.

Detective shows and spy movies are her favourite but she’ll enjoy just about anything unless it's a musical she was forced to watch one too many times because of Julian.

Portia has so many hobbies, one would say too many but she digresses.

Of course gardening is at the top of her list, moreso because the garden always needs doing but she gets a great sense of pride growing her own food and Pepi loves chasing the spiders that hide in the strawberries.

Portia is also a very avid blogger, there is a lot of conspiracy theories on there but with a following of half the city it seems pretty popular.

In her downtime Portia is loves to relax with her favourite soft drink and beat V3suviaC0unt#1 ass on her games console, she finds the shrieking of her enemy to be great fun.Portia’s love of games however soon transpired to collecting action figures of her favourite game characters.

She is very protective of them.

Like Muriel, Portia also doesn’t have a tattoo. It’s not that she’s afraid of needles but she just hasn’t found a reasonably good design to get yet.

Lucio

Lucio is definitely the one out of the six who was made for the modern world, sure being a Count is cool and all but in this world he can have both power and freedom and not have to sit in every meeting called.

He’s never once taken anything seriously, Lucio’s power has been built on the backs of others without him ever having to raise a finger.

It’s happened everywhere he goes, in the army he sacrificed the good of his teammates to rise in the ranks, he forced the Asra’s parents to make him the best prosthetic arm in history, he codled up to an old dying man to get his business and when he found out that wasn’t for him Lucio pawned it off to his wife and rolled onto the next devious plan.

Lucio’s been an army man, a CEO, a crime lord and the cause of “The Event” but maybe one day he’ll rise above those defining moments and be greater (but that is a story for another day).

Of course Lucio did live with Nadia for a time, but when he made her CEO Lucio took to calling his mansion home, Nadia wasn’t a fan of the creepy vibe it gave off which is just as well because Lucio hosts a lot of unsavoury characters...

True to form each room in that place has only the most expensive belongings, every bed is king size and the garage is filled with gas guzzling monstrosities of cars. It’s not cluttered by any means, but it's gaudy and shows off his wealth.

The only place things seem normal is the kitchen, Lucio doesn’t spend much time in there but on the wall sits a board of old memories when he got along with the others, they didn’t always find him unbearable.

Lucio’s torn it down and put it up so many times already he can never make up his mind if he wants to keep it.

Only thing Lucio ever liked about running a company were the expensive suits he was told he had to wear at least that was a great improvement on his fashion sense. Of course he’s not always wearing suits sometimes he’ll just wear a dress shirt with one too many buttons undone and a pair of white chinos and trainers.

Sunglasses are a must, that, and a lint roller. The dogs shed a lot...

As mentioned before Lucio has a lot of very pricey cars, he is the product of what would happen in Portia was given a car, he’d get distracted and crash it into the back of another vehicle.

He’s lucky anyone will insure him and that he has so many cars.

Lucio tried to be different to the ‘normies’ by getting his company to make a phone suitable to his taste. A phone that had two charging ports (to charge it twice as fast) and a waterproof casing (that kept it a bit too dry and hot so it spontaneously combusted in his pocket).

Lucio now has the latest iPhone instead.

Owns a lot of pets, the exotic eels, macaques, cockatoo, etc... The same as he does in the normal universe, none of which are particularly nice and well behaved. He prefers his fur babies Mercedes and Melinchor.

They were two dogs he saw fighting in dog fights and he was in love instantly buying them and bringing them to live with him, chaos follows those two like a bad odour.

Lucio decided that to be the cool rich guy he needed to like cool music, for the longest time he spent his time listening to hip hop no one really ever notices that Lucio in fact hates hip hop, he much prefers pop music.

It's a secret he will take to his grave but MC has definitely heard him singing to Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’ in the shower.

Lucio is the biggest movie buff in Vesuvia, he’s definitely offended when no one invites him to premieres, which is why he’s done all he can to get into movies (with little avail). And he will watch anything and enjoy it, he is usually one of those people who don’t realize the book exists when such a movie is out.

But do you know what his favourite kind of movies are?

Romantic-comedies, or just anything that's classed as romance. Date nights with Lucio are pretty good but he cries a lot, poor guy.

Just don’t get started with Lucio and hobbies, if he’s tried something once he’ll make out he knows everything about it and even if he hasn’t tried it he’ll pretend he has. He’s forever speaking out of his a** but no one dares call him out on it.

That being said Lucio really doesn’t have the capability to commit to a hobby, unless parties count? They don’t? They should!

Although one could say maybe planning parties does count...

Tattoos? Lucio has a few; his army number on the back of his neck, a sword piercing a heart on his chest and the twin silhouettes of the dogs running on the heel of his foot.

[drxwsyni]

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (pt.1/2)

Yandere merman!Shinsou Hitoshi x gn!Reader

Summary: Studying abroad on a remote tropical island, a life threatening event prompts a certain merman to come to your rescue. Coincidence or not, the meeting results in his intentions being set in stone.

All characters are aged up (18+).

Warnings for this part: drowning, injury, swearing, suggestions of poor parenting

Words: 6.8k+

a/n: This fic is my entry for @bnhabookclub‘s Mermay event! It’s not my usual style but I tried my best―definitely need to practice different au’s. For context Shinsou can still use his quirk, he’s just also a merman at the same time. That and he’s a soft yandere for the most part. Hope you enjoy!

Prompts: 13. “It’s all right. Come here.” 7. “It’s really not that complicated (used in the second part).”

_____

The path of least resistance proved to be quite useful in the recent years.

It wouldn’t be your first option under ideal circumstances, but such a thing wasn’t currently present in your life anyways. Occasionally it would grace your day to day living, but for the most part passing occurrences tended to be on the less enjoyable side.

Whether you should be grateful or not was beyond you, but in this unchanging routine you managed to grow accustomed to things. It lead you into a complacency of sorts―not preferring it in any manner, but still having the understanding that sometimes it was easier to let the world dictate your actions for you.

And right now, this complacency had earned you the opportunity for travel.

Specifically, an offer to study abroad to work on a take home final for your university class. Four weeks on a remote tropical island with your fellow students and accompanying professors. Done with intentions to gather otherwise unobtainable first-hand experience and, more importantly, data that would significantly improve your final grade―only if you managed your time wisely.

The opportunity was impossible to pass up.

You weren’t the biggest fan of flying, or boating―really anything that had you leaving the comfort of land. But as usual these bothers weren’t considered when you were being so heavily advised to pack your things and take advantage of the ‘once in a lifetime opportunity.’

Sometimes you tried making an attempt to discern what warranted such treatment being placed upon you. Not once could you seem to recall any one event that may have ended with the conclusion that it was acceptable for you to be handled in such a manner. To have your limits disregarded so thoughtlessly.

Maybe it was because the limits in question were more so mental in nature. They weren’t outwardly observable, and so it made it acceptable.

Of course, you knew that wasn’t the truth.

But with this perhaps you could catch a break from the pressures of your loved ones. If you did well enough in your studies, they might just tone down their expectations enough to give you the room to decide something for yourself.

It was settled―you would once again take the plunge into semi-uncertainty. Mostly for the sake of others, and only marginally to satiate your need for freedom.

You’d been on the island for a little over a week, and in that time you’d managed to scope out the perfect spot for collecting the samples you needed for your paper.

It was secluded―a rocky area that was just slightly raised from the sea level that was home to multiple small ocean pools. They were filled with very particular types of marine life. Ones that you had chosen to focus on after hearing just where you’d be travelling to. In the ecosystem you found yourself in the possibilities for research were quite extensive. There may have been less taxing options, ones that didn’t lead you to the ends of the island all by yourself. But those wouldn’t earn you the validation you desired.

So instead you came to terms with your situation as usual and gathered up your equipment for the journey. Almost every day just an hour after dinner you would head to the rocky expanse of the seemingly endless beach. The weather was comfortable, a light breeze to stave off the heat with the sun not close enough to the horizon for it to be getting too dark, but low enough to begin emitting the intricate display of warm coloured clouds drifting slowly above.

In the moments where you simply sat and took in your surroundings, the thought came to mind that perhaps you would be able to focus on something that wasn’t directly related to the pressure you were under to succeed. If these were the conditions, the clarity that came along with relaxation might be possible.

For now however, you needed to be focused on what you truly came here for.

It was roughly quarter after six in the evening. You had set your backpack down on a rock that was raised above the pools of water and used the rest of the free surface as a makeshift table. On it you placed a clean sample jar with the lid popped off in wait for the contents that you were currently fishing around for.

If there was one thing being pressured into studying was good for, it was having the image of what you were looking for committed to memory.

It was nothing special, just a remnant of the marine life that took up residence in the little pools you were currently crouched in front of. You carefully extracted the sample out of the water, placing it in the little container.

Part of you should be proud of what you were doing. University classes weren’t always the easiest. Your course was just as difficult as any other―disregarding the fact that you probably wouldn’t have gone into it if it weren’t for the ‘advice’ of your family. The research you were currently conducting was more than satisfactory.

Yet, as you looked at the now filled sample container, part of you couldn’t help but want to accomplish more. You didn’t need to―your pace so far was good for what you were trying to get done in the time you were given on the island. But it was second nature to want to perform above satisfactory expectations.

You knew that the area you were in was home to a certain species of coral that would greatly improve the chances of you earning a better GPA. Based on where you were, it would take a small swim just off the shoreline to reach its natural habitat.

Doing a cost-benefit analysis, you decided that it was worth the brief struggle. It was likely that the coral wouldn’t be too far underwater, meaning you wouldn’t require any special diving equipment. You were already wearing a bathing suit, and before leaving had packed a belt bag that could be worn underwater should you need to bring any sample collection gear with you while swimming.

Technically, you should be asking for help when it came to something like this. There was a certain danger to it―being in the ocean by yourself. If you knew any better then maybe you would’ve asked for assistance. However, it simply wasn’t in your nature to do so.

There was always a resistance in your mind when you wanted to work with others. An anxiety of sorts. Time and time again had you tried to overcome it, and each instance had you failing. Now was no different.

Your bag was strapped securely to your body, pulled tight so it didn’t shift around too much in the water. Without the ability to force yourself to go back to the cabins and request a second set of hands, there was quite literally nothing holding you back.

The ocean water was startlingly icy as you let it submerge your lower limbs. The feeling wasn’t pleasant, but it was temporary. You’d be quick―collect the sample and then gratefully retreat to the warmth of dry clothes and eventually the soft bed in your assigned room back inland.

Gradually, the frigid liquid crept up your body as you waded forward. Shivering slightly at the sensation, you willed your mind to ignore the uncomfortableness. And thankfully enough, after spending a few minutes with the water at neck-level, you became more accustomed to the sensation.

The easy part was over.

Pushing off from the sandy ocean floor underneath, you swam away from the coast. It was only roughly ten or fifteen feet away, but already you were having problems seeing the earth below. The sight was unsettling, to say the least.

What it did mean however was that you should be in the perfect spot where the coral you were hunting for could be found. It wasn’t rare or anything―you should be able to see it no problem. But you had to go underwater first before that was possible.

For a moment you hesitated. You weren’t exactly afraid of the ocean, but the concept of such a vast unexplored space wasn’t exactly comforting. Sure, you weren’t in any sort of area that was frighteningly undiscovered, but the thought that such a thing did exist didn’t help in calming your nerves.

But you digress―the take home final was more important than any passing worries over your predicament.

The feeling of being so completely engulfed in the water sent a shock through your system. So much so that you had to resurface for a few seconds to get your bearings. Once you’d settled down once again, you plunged yourself underneath the water. Only after a second or two of swimming further below the surface and you had come face to face with your target. You went back up for a breath and to extract a sample bottle from your bag. 

It was then you took notice of the particularly strong winds that had picked up since you entered the ocean.

They wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for the waves it was forming under its influence. Small at first, but in the distance you could see them forming as well. Meaning that by the time they reached your position they would be bigger―much bigger.

But they were still far away. You had time.

With a little more haste you maneuvered yourself under the water until you were able to grasp the cluster of raised rock littered with marine plant life to steady yourself. Holding your breath, you tried working the coral off its hinges with a gloved hand.

It would seem coral was much stronger than you once thought.

The sturdy and jagged material was proving difficult to remove from the rocks it stuck to, and you were running out of air. The concept of having to make more than one trip under the surface wasn’t ideal, but your lung capacity wouldn’t support otherwise.

With rushed movements you emerged from the water, sucking in deep breaths of relieving oxygen.

But that was short lived.

It would seem the waves were moving faster than initially perceived. Now they were forceful enough that one sent you plummeting back under the salt water.

You couldn’t make heads or tails of which direction you were facing. The current of the waves was jostling your body in every way imaginable. Limbs flailing, you tried desperately to steady yourself. Yet you were no match for the strength of the ocean, and there was nothing in reach to hold on to.

For a moment of brief reprieve you were pulled back above the violent waves. Lungs already slightly filled with water, you sputtered into a coughing fit. Your eyes were frantic as they searched the shoreline, but there was nobody to help you.

If only you weren’t cowardly enough to have gone back and requested assistance in your now failed expedition.

Another wave collided harshly against your body, this time with much more power. It caught you off guard and in the middle of gasping for air. The final half of your breath was cut short, oxygen replaced with the frigid ocean water.

It burned. Your lungs couldn’t handle the intrusion, reflexively demanding another response of inhalation. If it weren’t for the already present liquid, tears would’ve been seen running heavily down your cheeks.

You couldn’t breath.

The current made you sway violently, pushing you deeper into the depths. Finally you collided with something, but the relief was short lived.

Sure, you were able to steady yourself, but now there was a more pressing issue.

A loose strap that was meant to tighten your belt bag had been caught on the jagged edges of the rock. Somehow tangled or wedged between the surface―it held you down under the crashing waves above.

The effects of the storm was causing your limbs to scrape painfully against the rock and coral with each sway of the current. Your lungs were filled, heart pounding against your ribcage.

Was this how you died?

Your mind was racing with a slew of thoughts all pertaining to potential escape plans.

But there were none. You couldn’t free yourself, and even if you did the storm would only pull you back under.

You choked aggressively on the water, body unnaturally convulsing. Black spots were forming in your vision as you registered that there was nothing stopping you from losing consciousness.

In a last ditch effort you tried pulling at the buckle that was holding the bag to your chest. Your luck only got worse―it was somehow stuck and would not unlatch.

Your last moments of struggling were futile. No matter what you did, or how hard you fought, you were going to drown.

As your mind slowly drifted into unconsciousness, your eyes just barely registered the thrashing waters around you. And yet, just before you succumbed to the darkness, you could’ve sworn something in the water caught the light, almost reflecting it. Whatever it was, it seemed to be quite large.

But that’s all you could comprehend―body going limp, along with your ability to stay awake any longer.

_____

The feeling of a hard surface underneath you was the first thing your brain identified. After your eyes opened, it was the sensation of some form of fleece blanketing your body.

You could still smell the ocean―hear it too. A sharp pain shot through your neck and spine as you forced yourself into a sitting position.

A cave.

There were no exits, at least not ones you could get to on foot. But you could swim.

To your right was a pool of water, and just vaguely you could see light shining through an underwater tunnel. Even then it was just barely there, meaning it had been quite some time since you blacked out, the sun likely setting for the night.

Oh right...you drowned.

The memories came flooding back. You ripped off the blanket, revealing an almost even more shocking sight. Your limbs, mainly your legs and a few patches on your arms, had been wrapped and padded with...seaweed?

That was most definitely not on your body before. Arriving fully to attention, a wave of panic came over you.

How did you get here? Why was there seaweed coating parts of your body? And most importantly―how on earth were you not dead?

Experimentally, you reached for a piece of plant life that was stuck to your skin. It was clear someone placed it there, and likely placed you in the cave, but who?

Peeling off the slimy layer revealed some equally alarming information. It wasn’t obvious when it was hidden, but now you could see the rough scrapes and cuts that littered your legs. The wounds didn’t hurt, but they didn’t feel comfortable either. There was some form of slimy substance coating it, which thoroughly grossed you out. In fact, the whole thing grossed you out.

Your body practically acted on its own, fueled by the feeling of disgust and unsettling anxiety. One after the other you ripped the seaweed from your limbs, exposing more gashes and marred flesh under each application.

You had no clue how you ended up in the cave, and if that wasn’t enough to disturb you, someone had put their hands all over your body to encase you in the questionable greenery while you were out.

One thing was for sure―you needed to get the fuck out of here.

Looking around, you figured it was worth giving the cave a once over in case there were any escapes that didn’t involve you blindly swimming through an airless underwater tunnel. And as you scanned the room you found there were still no alternatives. What you did pick up on though was the almost lived in aspect of the cave.

Somehow the stone walls were receded in parts above the water. They were like makeshift shelves, and in the crevices held an array of miscellaneous items. One spot seemed to be designated for various jars and tubs. Some were filled with unrecognizable substances, while others had equally foreign objects floating in semi clear liquid.

Eyes shifting to another display, you landed on a collection of trinkets. Mostly in the form of jewelry―a few rings, necklaces, even what looked to be a fairly expensive watch.

Someone was living here. It was good news. It meant that you should be able to swim out to safety in one breath.

You’d spent enough time taking in your surroundings. It was time to leave and hopefully never have to experience something like this again.

Yet, as you tried standing up, the pain of your injuries seem to catch up with you. To be fair you weren’t expecting it, so you didn’t feel entirely ashamed for falling right back onto the cold and slightly sandy rock. It was almost laughable―how you were foolish enough to land yourself in this predicament.

And in that distracted mindspace you managed to calm your nerves slightly, but it also drew your attention away from the pool of water that you should be plunging into for escape. You didn’t want to wait to find out who brought you here, but it was too late for that now.

Just as you mustered up the strength to pull yourself to the water’s edge, your eyes landed on something moving beneath the rippling surface. Something big.

And it was getting closer.

Frantically, you scrambled back a few feet from whatever was in the body of ocean water. Not a moment later and the thing had made its way to the surface.

It emerged―a man.

No.

There was a tail.

There was...a tail?

“Are you alright?”

And the creature spoke.

Peculiar was an understatement. The top half―its human half―looked normal. The man had deep indigo coloured hair, face sporting some impressive eye-bags. His voice sounded human enough―on the lower side but nonetheless indisputably ordinary.

However from what you could see from your position, the lower part of his body was entirely inhuman. Straight out of a mythology book―he had a long, scaly looking fish tail that was coloured the same as his hair―except it was shimmery, maybe even iridescent.

What on earth were you supposed to say in a situation like this?

He must’ve caught on to your speechlessness, judging the unmoving expression of shock on your face. “I found you trapped underneath the current. Your bag was tangled in some coral so I had to cut you out of it.”

Looking down, you saw that he was correct―your belt bag was missing.

Apparently he wasn’t done with his speech, “I brought you back here to take care of your injuries but―why did you remove the bandages?” You watched as his confused eyes scanned your form, taking in the exposed cuts and bruises that painted your delicate skin.

You said the first thing that came to mind. “Where am I?”

Without missing a beat, he responded. “My home. Why did you remove the bandages?”

...Is that really what he’s worried about right now?

Forming words proved to be a difficult task when you were suffering from a shock to your once perceived reality. Surely you were dreaming. There was no way a fish...man, was talking to you right now. Right?

“I just―I didn’t know what it was. So I...took it off?” You were hoping that you’d wake up any moment now. But as time drew on that wish seemed to grow less likely to come true.

Reality didn’t matter―you needed to know. “Are you like a...mermaid, or something?”

Eyebrows slightly furrowed in what looked to be annoyance, the man responded. “Merman, actually.”

It was like this was just another regular occurrence for the merman. He acted completely unfazed by you discovering his existence, whether he felt different about it mentally or not.

“Okay, so why didn’t you just bring me back to the shore?” You prided yourself in not stuttering over your words despite your brain doing mental gymnastics trying to comprehend the situation.

He shifted in the water a bit, resting his hands on the stone where the water and dry earth met. “You were bleeding too much. If I brought you back to the beach you may have died from it. And even if you didn’t the storm was too rough―you would’ve been swept back out into the ocean.”

The events were discussed so matter-of-factly that it disregarded just how much danger you were in. It baffled you how he managed to stop the bleeding. Actually, you weren’t even sure where the bleeding would’ve been coming from. Looking over your wounds, none of them seemed to go deep enough to require such attention. If anything, they looked quite healthy―healed even.

Now that you didn’t need to be so wrapped up in the concern over your physical state, the gravity of the situation came falling down upon you. This complete stranger of a creature had dragged you to who knows where, and as far as you could tell getting out might just be impossible.

The colour effectively drained from your face.

It just so happened that the merman would continue to be perceptive to your reactions. “I was just waiting for you to wake up so I could bring you back. You’re safe here, I promise.”

His words brought untold relief to your anxieties, yet you still needed a little more reassurance. “That’s good. So you’re not gonna, like―”

“What, eat you?” He gave a half-hearted chuckle at the thought, “I’m not a monster. And even if I did want to don’t you think I would've done it already?”

It wasn’t what you were going to ask, but realistically your intentions on the subject didn’t matter all that much in the moment.

The indigo haired man sighed, likely expecting a response. “Look, I just wanted to help you. That’s it.”

Help you. That wasn’t something you were normally accustomed to.

You had problems asking for assistance on your own, and even if you wanted to there was never really many who would be willing to indulge you.

The sentiment he offered was nice. Even nicer was that it wasn’t just an offer―he already had helped you. He’d saved your life. It was more than anyone else had done for you throughout your many years of living.

It was nice, to say the least.

But you still needed to get back to the beach. “So, are you gonna help me get out of here now? Cause I don’t exactly know where that exit leads to…”

He smiled slightly, the most positive emotion you’d seen him express since emerging from the depths. “Of course, I did say I would after all.”

Your eyes followed his hand as it outstretched towards you. The first reaction you had was to automatically take it, but you stopped halfway through the motion when you registered his physique.

He had claws.

They weren’t long, but they were for sure sharp looking. You hesitated in your advance.

“It’s all right. Come here.” He gestured to you to approach, but still you wavered. “I won’t hurt you, little human.”

Not that you weren’t still wary of the dangerous looking appendages, but you didn’t exactly have a choice. He was your ticket out of the cave after all.

Without a word you took his hand. He gently guided you to the edge of the water, supporting your weight as you clambered into the ocean pool.

There were still small waves entering from the mouth of the cave, a weak current lightly hitting your body. It was enough to wash away whatever substance the merman had applied to your injuries. Now that they were clean, you could see just how much they’d healed in the short amount of time.

You could think about how that was even possible when you were back on land.

When the man spoke again it startled you slightly, him being so close. “The tunnel is long. I’m afraid that even if I swim fast you’ll still run out of air before we break the surface.”

The statement made you panic a little, eyes going wide.

He continued before you could give your take. “I’ll have to give you some air halfway through, just let me know when you need a breath and everything should be okay.” The merman pulled you into his chest as he spoke, one arm wrapped around your waist while the other gripped your upper arm.

“Wait―how are you even gonna do that?” As far as you could tell he wasn’t carrying an oxygen tank or anything of the sort.

Looking down at you with a slight smirk on his face, he responded. “You trust me, right? I’m not going to let you drown, don’t worry.”

That didn’t really answer your question, but he wasn’t done. “And I’m your only way out of here so does it really matter? That is unless you want to stay here with me forever.”

Frankly, you had no clue what he meant by ‘giving you air,’ but he was right―how he kept you alive wasn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. Before you could make a point to push your concerns he pulled the two of you underwater. You thanked the heavens you were able to fill your lungs with air the second before you were submerged, inwardly cursing the man for not giving you a heads up.

Your body was flushed to his, and as he swam you could appreciate the robustness of his frame. It was impressive, and if it weren’t for the stress of the situation you may have liked to take more time to admire it.

It was hard to keep your eyes open as the water rushed past you. That was indication enough of just how fast you were going, and you realized just how screwed you would’ve been if you had tried to make your way out of the cave by yourself. If you didn’t drown before, making that attempt would surely do the trick.

The two of you were roughly twenty seconds into the swim when you felt the burning in your lungs start to become unbearable. Without knowing what his methods of relief were, you held out as long as possible without asking for help. Yet it was only a few more seconds and your body was practically screaming at you to breath.

He didn’t tell you how to get his attention, so you opted to rapping on his chest with one hand. Thankfully, he stopped his journey towards the exit immediately after you began thrashing in his arms. Still slightly drifting forward in the water as a result of his momentum, he brought your body to be eye level with his. Not a moment too soon and he was pressing his lips firmly against yours, hands gripping the sides of your face to still you. And then you realized―this was how he was going to supply you oxygen.

Your lips parted and a relieving wave of air was forced into your lungs. He pulled away a moment later and you pursed your lips once again to contain the air. You hoped he didn’t see the faint blush on your cheeks as he pulled you back into his chest and continued swimming.

Another twenty seconds and you felt him angle upwards, and much to your relief you felt the water break around you.

Sound finally returned to your ears, having been previously replaced with the muffledness of rushing water. You blinked a few times to clear your eyes, readjusting to your surroundings. The sun was setting now, having lowered much closer to the horizon and casting a whole new set of colours upon the clouds.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” His teasing attitude wasn’t entirely appreciated, but it did help to alleviate the stress of the situation somewhat.

“I guess, not...thanks.” You gave him a small smile to show that you were grateful, given that your own tone was still a little shaky from the strange events that were taking place.

The merman allowed you some space now that he didn’t have to drag your body through the water alongside his. “The beach isn’t too far from here.”

From where you treaded you could see the shore clearly in the distance. You followed him as he began heading in that direction, presumably going at a slower pace seeing as you didn’t exactly have the same swimming capabilities as he did.

While staying above the waterline, the man continued the conversation. “So, I believe that it wouldn’t be too much to ask you to keep quiet about my existence. Not that anyone would believe you anyways, but still―in exchange for saving your life I think it's fair.”

Somehow it took him saying it to remember that you’d forgot to thank him for doing so. Sure, you thanked him for bringing you out of the cave, but that was a requirement if he wanted to free up his home once again. It was a little embarrassing, but you gave yourself some slack as nothing right now was anywhere near a sense of normalcy. “Ah―yeah, I think I can do that.”

He smiled at your sheepish reply, giving you the idea that he picked up on your abashed emotions.

The rest of the journey to the shore was done in silence. He would never go too far ahead of you, and for a moment you wondered why he didn’t just pull you the rest of the way there as well. It would’ve saved more time, but you weren’t exactly in the position to be judging him on his actions given all he’d done for you.

Eventually you reached the mainland, much to your gratification. He helped you up onto the rocks that were jutting out of the waterline―the area that kept the ocean pools you were studying. In fact, he had brought you right up to where your bag was still laid.

Still feeling a little ashamed for how much of a burden you’d been, you gave him one last condolence. “Thanks again. I don’t know how you found me but I’m glad you did. The last thing my parents need is to hear their daughter drowned trying to work on her final.” Awkwardly, you rubbed the back of your neck. It felt like you were oversharing, and at this point you should probably just shut up and head back to the cabins. Yet strangely enough the phenomenon of your realization that such a creature did exist was still very much enticing. You didn’t want to stop talking to him.

He stayed at the edge of the rocks, “It’s no problem. You should go back to wherever you’re staying on the island to rest. It’s getting late anyways.”

His concern was appreciated, but still―a small part of you was sad you would have to part ways with this otherworldly being.

“Ah―right. Um, I was just―”

“I’m Hitoshi, by the way. I’ll be here if you ever need me. Take care, (y/n).”

With that he was pushing off the rocks, and before you could get another word out―if that was even possible―he was already underwater. You saw as the slowly dimming sunlight reflected off his indigo tail, and in a matter of seconds he was so far submerged that his body entirely disappeared.

Well, that wasn’t how you expected your afternoon to go.

You had to take a few minutes to collect your thoughts, mostly consisting of you questioning everything you thought you once knew.

Briefly, you wondered just what people would say if you told them what happened to you. That you got stuck on coral, drowned, and then were rescued by a merman.

They wouldn’t believe you.

Maybe the drowning part, but the rest...not so much.

But even if they did believe you, there was no way you would break your promise to the man. He helped you―saved you. Nobody had ever shown you so much kindness, and it wouldn’t be right to just disregard that for the sake of attention.

Having had your full on adventures for the night, you quickly gathered your previously abandoned belongings. With a bag once again stuffed full of research equipment, you made your way back to the cabins.

And naturally, no matter how much you tried that night, sleep was immensely difficult to achieve. How could it not be―there was now a plethora of things to think about and you couldn’t tell a single soul. Frustrating was an understatement, but it was also kind of nice. The act of compassion the merman―no―Hitoshi, gave you was causing a certain feeling of warmth. It felt comforting.

You recalled his last words, saying he’d be there for you if you needed it. It was likely just a quick send off so he could get out of your way and return home. Yet the sentiment was still appreciated.

Eventually you managed to fall asleep, this time not doing so under the influence of painfully salty ocean water.

_____

Waking up wasn’t the most pleasant―there was a hoarse burning sensation in your lungs. Not that it wasn’t present the day before, but now it would seem that the effects of them being filled with a liquid that they should most definitely not be filled with was taking a toll. Whether it was swelling or simply the after affects of salt remaining in them didn’t really matter.

You popped some pain reliever into your mouth, wincing at the feeling as it slid down your throat.

Regardless of yesterday’s events you still had a schedule to follow. However doing so proved to be a challenge. At each task you were met with you found your thoughts drifting back to the strange encounter. At breakfast, sitting down at a worktable, lunch, editing a portion of your report―everything had you returning to contemplation over Hitoshi at least once.

It was safe to say that you didn’t get as much work done as normal.

The anticipation for the end of the day was unbearable. You had to return to the ocean pools to collect samples you weren’t able to gather yesterday.

Mostly, you had now developed a slight fear of the ocean. How the waves turned so violent while you were swimming was beyond you, but it only proved how unpredictable nature could be.

And you still wanted that piece of coral.

Your sense of self-preservation wasn’t the best. It had never been, really. After time and time again of putting your own needs second it was only natural at this point. Maybe not today, but you were going to try and return to the ocean no matter how much the prospect intimidated you.

Like you’d done for the past week, you assembled the necessary gear for your work and stepped out into the heat. To get to the area you simply had to walk along the beach. It was probably the best part of your day―with nothing to do while you walked you needed only to think.

And right now you were thinking about Hitoshi.

He was handsome―no denying that. Clearly he had a good heart, why else would he save your life after you’d so foolishly gone and put yourself in a situation that could’ve been easily avoided. He wasn’t the most expressive, but you could still tell that he meant well.

Or at least you hoped.

Either way you wouldn’t be forgetting about him anytime soon.

Finally you had arrived at the ocean pools, thankful to be able to rest your feet after the long walk. Looking out onto the ocean caused an involuntary shiver. The weather was warm, but the water that once threatened to kill you wasn’t.

There was no time to stew on harmful thoughts though―you were behind schedule. Disregarding the lingering worry that had settled into your heart, you pulled the bag off your shoulders and began removing its contents.

Almost methodically, you laid out your equipment on the flat expanse of the dry rock. It was important to be neat in your area of study, now being no exception. You were distracted with the meticulous arrangement of research gear, eyes and mind trained on setting it up to perfection.

“How’s the work coming?”

You nearly jumped two feet into the air.

In fact, you knocked over a petri dish as your body jolted from sudden noise behind you, it sounding off with a light splash as it landed in a nearby pool. Your head whipped around in the direction of the voice.

If your mind didn’t register the owner of it by sound, it would visually.

And there Hitoshi was, in his still unbelievable merman glory. He was propped up on his elbows, casually resting against the rock.

You breathed a sigh of relief, having come down from a brief adrenaline induced high. “Jesus―you can’t just sneak up on people like that. And it's going fine, I guess.” You bent over to pick up the piece of equipment, now having to disinfect it for later use. His sudden presence still had you a bit tense, and you warily eyed his form.

“Are you afraid of me?”

The question caught you off guard―clearly you looked a lot more nervous than you thought.

Of course you weren’t afraid of him. Maybe you felt a little awkward, given the vast difference between you two, but certainly not afraid.

“No, you just startled me a little. And the ocean’s still got me kinda freaked out, so…” You waved lazily with one hand in the general direction of the body of water as you spoke, returning to the task at hand.

You heard the water around him splash slightly, “Well, you can relax. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Actually…” Looking in his direction, you saw him reach below the surface of the water. “...I’ve got something for you. Here.”

In his right hand Hitoshi produced one of your plastic sample bottles. Inside of it was the frustrating piece of coral you were trying to pry off the rock before meeting your demise yesterday.

Your eyes blew wide at the sight―of course he could’ve gotten it so easily. He’s a goddamn fish after all. But there was one thing that didn’t quite add up in your head. “How did you know that’s what I was looking for?”

He looked at the jar before returning his unperturbed gaze back to you. “I, uh…” Just barely, you could pick up on an almost abashed look across his face. “I was sort of...watching you. That sounds creepy, I know. It was when you went in the water―not a lot of people come to this part of the island so I wasn’t exactly expecting visitors.”

Now it made sense. “Oh, well if that’s the case then I guess I was lucky. You might not have found me if I got stuck on the more populated area of the beach.” It was practically a blessing that you came across the area―you might have been dead if not.

Standing up from your position, you walked over to the break in rock and ocean where the merman was stationed. You sat down next to him, “Thanks for this, Hitoshi.” You took the bottle from his extended hand. “I really need it if I want to do good on my final. And I probably would’ve tried going back out there sooner or later for it.” You laughed a bit at your own statement, knowing how bad of an idea it was, but still finding the humour in your lack of survival instinct.

He didn’t seem as amused, “You’re telling me you would’ve risked your life just for a piece of coral?”

At that you smiled, “It’s not just a piece of coral. I mean―it’s not rare or anything, but it’s relevant to what I’m studying. So yes, chances are I would’ve.”

Hitoshi shook his head, lips slightly upturned at your behaviour now as well. “It’s a good thing I’m here then. Can’t say I’d be so inclined to let you out of my home if I found you half-dead again. For your own sake, of course.”

You rolled your eyes. But really, you were grateful for him. “Seriously, this means a lot.” Forming your next words was difficult, given that you didn’t want to sound too much like a loser, but they needed to be genuine. “I don’t get a lot of help when it comes to stuff like this. I’m not the best at asking for it either. It’s just―you’ve done so much for me...I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to repaying you.”

There was a moment of silence, and your heart sunk a little thinking that you’d said too much.

“Why don’t you start with telling me about yourself.”

That only confused you more.

“You want to know more about me?”

The toothy grin he gave as he laughed a bit at your response wasn’t expected, but it did help ease the tensions. “Yes, little human. I don’t get to talk to many of my own kind, let alone yours. And as you said, you need to repay me so technically you don’t have a choice.”

His condescending pet name didn’t go unnoticed, but you’d let it slide―he had done more than enough to earn the right to a little teasing.

You have a half-hearted shrug. “Okay then, what is it you want to know fish boy?”

Now things could finally start getting interesting.

[katiebruce]

adios, amigo.

Well, 2020. What is there to say that hasn’t already been said, tweeted or Instagram-ed a thousand and two times about you? I’ll save us all the generic stuff—“unprecedented,” “nightmarish,” “absurd”—yes, 2020 was all of those things, but on a deeper, more personal level, there is so much more I have to say that doesn’t fit quite into those clichés.

So, this will be my attempt to document and reflect upon one of the strangest years I’ve encountered in my thirty-one years on this planet. Buckle up, buttercup.

Like many others before me have frequently observed, the way I spend my New Year’s Eve has always set the tone for the year to come, and boy, was this year a picture-perfect example of exactly that. Because I had to work on January first, I spent my New Year’s Eve at home watching a depressing movie with T, quietly kissing on the cold back patio as fireworks went off in the distance. I remember feeling both happy and sad about this evening (a duality that was a major theme for me for the fifty-two weeks to come, if only I had known). I was sad not to be celebrating my favorite holiday and even remember telling T that I didn’t want the year to come to be one I spent not going out, staying home, and becoming reclusive as I finished up the stressful process of finishing my MFA thesis in the course of ten (or, what I thought would be ten) short months.

But on the other hand, being held in T’s arms, I remembered feeling so happy that I could have this little quiet holiday—something that felt so private and personal—so entirely our own. It really set the tone for our relationship for the year, and for the obstacles we not only overcame together but dominated, one right after the next.

January was cold, snowy, and full of flight cancellations, which I remember to be something worth celebration at the time. I stayed home and snuggled my way into Aquarius season, the time for me and my brethren to shine, feeling positive that I had lived my thirtieth year to one of great satisfaction and maximum travels taken. (If only I had known then that that late-January El Paso layover where my crew and I walked across the border into Juarez to eat street tacos and laugh over Mezcal would be one of the only times I would leave the country for the year, well, I might have taken a few shots of tequila and really enjoyed my stay abroad just a bit longer).

February came, and with it, the promise of friends. My darling Kristopher, as always, flew to Chicago on the day of (also the day I completed and passed my eighth recurrent [!]) and, thanks to my other darling baby, Nicole, scored tickets to one of the highly coveted format reunion tour shows happening in March* for me, her, and my momma.

(*It did not, in fact, take place in March).

I turned thirty-one in the way I’ve come accustomed too—surrounded by my favorite people (this year at Dorians—a jazz club to end all jazz clubs) too drunk and too smiley to even coherently remember the evening properly. As much fun as I remember having, I told T that I thought it was my last year to host some sort of birthday gathering, and to hold me to it come next year. (He did very well—a few weeks later, after spotting an ad in a discarded newspaper for the Chicago tour of Moulin Rouge happening on my birthday weekend, we bought tickets and I sat peacefully with the fact that one of my new year (or, new age) resolutions was so quickly and poignantly adapted).

By this time, I was already deep in the throes of my first thesis writing course, meaning that I was pretty stressed out all of the time and surely a misery to be around (sorry to those of you who were). Basically, in three semesters’ time, I was expected to draft, edit, and rewrite a fully formed novel (70,000+ words) and the idea of accomplishing such a feat felt like a ton of bricks being carried on my shoulders. I had at least four mental breakdowns in the beginning of the year (again, we all know what lays ahead for the year, I know—but at the time, this seemed like an unbearable amount of stress for one person to have to carry. The joke is not lost on me).

In the coming weeks, things began to get even weirder. Covid scares began sprouting up in cities all around us, and as the government asked people to stay at home, airline ticket prices became massively reduced, so more people began traveling. I mean, this shit was like spring break on acid—it was hugely stressful, and though the threat of the pandemic had yet to reach Chicago, I felt more and more at risk with each passing day as careless amounts of people cashed in on what they thought was the deal of a lifetime.

By the time March reached its midpoint, I, like so many others, was terrified. We had no PPE at work—literally nothing. No gloves, masks, or even hand wipes. Cleaning the aircraft still wasn’t considered a “no-go” item, as far as regulatory practices go. I remember watching the news on my layovers only to keep myself up at night wondering if the virus was going to take hold of me or anyone around me, and if so, how long until they would recover, or perhaps wouldn’t.

St. Patrick’s Day came, and after fighting about whether or not to go out with friends (we didn’t—and for the record, T and I rarely fight—but this was, after all, his first St. Patrick’s Day as a Chicagoan—so his resentment was more than justified) we saw a matinee movie (Onward) and while in the theater, read about how Chicago restaurants, as a precaution, were shutting down the next day due to rising concerns about the spread of the virus. We reacted by grabbing drinks & lunch at one of our favorite neighborhood eateries and tipping the waitstaff more heavily than I think I’ve ever tipped anyone in my life (not mentioning this to brag, or whatever—just remembering what it was like to feel utterly helpless and unsure of what to do or what was to come—we had to find our positivity in some way, and on that day, this was how we saw fit, and it helped).

Then it all sort of happened at once—Lauren’s store was closed with no impending reopening date. The grocery stores (and I swear to god, I will never forget this) became a madhouse—people taking things out of other people’s carts when they weren’t looking. I remember going into Mariano’s with T and insisiting we tie bandanas around our faces for safety, feeling like a goddamn bank robber about to make a heist. But there was nothing left to even take. Frantically, we got what we could and got out of there, and I went home to have a full-fledged panic attack about the state of the world we were currently living in and what we were going to do if things didn’t turn around quickly.

As if overnight, everyone cancelled their airline tickets. It was for the better, and though it put my job in serious jeopardy, I was in massive support of it but still felt an eerie sadness looming around the countless empty airports, airplanes, hotels and city streets. There were times when my crew and I were the only guests in a place—times when I had zero passengers on a revenue flight. And then came the mass flight cancellations—and I mean mass. Everyday became a battle of anxiety as to what was going to happen to my job in the next twenty-four hours, and then cooing my stressed-out thoughts to sleep, only to relive the anxiety with every phone buzz waiting to find out if I had lost my job overnight. By mid-spring, I was hugely considering dropping out for a period of time, just due to the stress of it all, but thanks to support from my friends, family and T, I chose to stick it out and roll with as many punches as I could until I was finally knocked-out.

Quarantines were happening all around me, and without the ability to travel or the (former) grueling expectations of maintaining a social life, I started to reconnect with myself in ways that felt both organic and new, yet much like returning home after a long time away. Lauren taught me to knit, and we celebrated her birthday on the floor of our apartment in an Indian-food induced daze renting Emma and making thousands of tiny knots onto needles that would eventually become blankets. We took walks, did puzzles, and Lauren drove me to and from the airport on the rare occasion that I actually had a flight to work, as the CTA had, unfortunately, become a cesspool of targeted attacks on flight crew members (seriously) because they were often the only person in any given train car.

A rare glimpse of optimism then presented itself via two different opportunities: a chance to take a ninety-day leave from work, and a job offer in the form of editing a book for publication. I said yes to both and hoped that I would be able to take a step back and deal with the crumbling world around me easier with both of these opportunities now on my horizon.

This period of the year (May-July) started off swimmingly. Knitting, reading, and even smoking weed for the first time in nearly a decade (I took two hits and spent the rest of the evening sinking into the couch painfully aware of how bad I am at breathing and worrying that I might stop at any given moment). I fell in love with yoga and felt myself loosening up parts of my body and my mind that had been twisted into a series of knots for god only knows how long. I spent days reading in the sun, baking bread like everyone else in the world, and learning to make my own pies. Things were going really well, and I was even ahead in school, now on track to graduate in August—when things started getting heated.

I’m not going to go on a rant about race, although I very much could, but I will say this—the fact that we are still in a race war in this country in the year 2020 (and even now, a few days into 2021) makes me so sick to my stomach I don’t know what to do. Every injustice that passes by us, overshadowed by the next untimely death or wrongdoing makes me angry in ways that I cannot even fathom putting into words. It burns the color red that is so hot and so vibrant that I can see it soaking through my eyelids even when I squeeze them shut. This country lost a lot of love from me this year, and even more respect. There are not only things we can do better—there are things we must change. And honestly, most days, I don’t think most of the country is ready to not only admit that but to also work for. And that not only sickens me, but depresses the living hell out of me. I feel so stunted all of the time when I picture a world so at peace with its own injustice. It’s just so unfair.

I watched as the world was (rightfully, although woefully) destroyed around me. My neighborhood turned into a desolate, looted shadow of itself—one where Lauren and I could sit on our back patio safely until dusk, when the crime and gunfire became so rabid that on occasions, we sat in the living room in total darkness, listening only to the radio, afraid to let anybody at street level see that we were, indeed, at home. The opportunists that took advantage of the message of this movement made me numb to such a large demographic of the population, and I found myself crying myself to sleep enough times that I thought it might be time to leave the warzone that had become Chicago for a little while as escape down to Florida. So, we packed our bags and left. It is not lost on me that so many did not have this option, and for so many minorities, just simply existing during this time was enough to cause assault. I know I am fortunate—I carry it like lead in my pockets every day.

While in Florida, the first retailers began to reopen and I found myself waiting in an hour-long line to buy soaps and hand sanitizers, and to get a glimpse of what this “new normal” might look like when things started picking back up again. Like many, it was jarring to see empty tables, capacity limits on items, cashiers behind plexiglass sheets shouting to be heard over both the physical barrier and the cloth one strung across their faces.

By the time T & I arrived home, Lauren was already making plans to reopen her store “safely” and I felt sorry for her. How could anything be safe when nothing had changed? Why were companies acting as if business could go on like before—even though nothing had gotten better?

My final months of my MFA were just ahead of me, and I had one month remaining free from work to finish my first full-length novel, and I all I really remember is stress stress stress.

And then Andrew, being Andrew, offered a glimmer of hope, in the form of a drive-in concert celebrating fifteen years of Everything in Transit in southern California, a mere matter of hours from where Nicole had been working. It took a matter of two or maybe three text messages to confirm that we would be attending, and once the ticket was purchased I practically packed my bags and headed off to visit her and try and make light of my heart.

As suspected, the trip was magical. Being around Nicole, per usual, was magical. My heart felt so fully aligned seeing a little piece of her story and getting to experience her way of life once more—drunken hot springs and all their glory. There truly are few things in my life I love more than sitting in the passenger’s seat as Nicole drives us all over the country, and experiencing it again felt so right and so perfect that I honestly thought it was one of the happiest experiences of my life. Because I had requested so, she drove me all the way to Venice Beach the day of the concert so we could see where the infamous album cover was taken. We ate cbd gummies and listened to jack’s and ate in-n-out burger like our lives depended on it. When the concert began, it was eerie, yet hopeful to see all the new protocols of something that had become so familiar to me in my former life. Drinks were ordered through an app and delivered, as was merch, and clapping was replaced by the exuberant honking of car horns. We streamed the sound through the radio and laid the in the back of Nicole’s converted SUV as we cried and sang along to the songs that made everything, even just for one night, feel like it was all going to be okay again. We ended the evening marking ourselves with our first stick and poke tattoos—hers a sun to my moon, positioned to kiss one another when we stand next to each other on our preferred selfie side (lol). I left worried about how long it might be before I could feel her warm embrace again, the embrace of one of the truest friends I’ll ever know, but also recognizing that we were lucky to have had such an experience at all during such an insane year and feeling eternally grateful for its memory.

The last weeks of what I referred to as my Rumspringa were ahead of me, and one sunny afternoon I wrote the final pages of my novel. In a mad rush to edit, revise and complete my portfolio for official review, I never really sat with myself and what I had accomplished or congratulated myself; I wrote a book in seven months’ time, and even though I am unhappy with it (more on that later) there’s no denying that I actually did it. I did it, and nobody can ever take that away from me; it’s an accomplishment I will forever have, and it’s all my own. And I need to remind myself of that. I need to let myself feel proud.

I was back to work in September and taking a huge pay cut, though working the same hours. It was stressful, but once I found out my portfolio had been accepted and I, indeed, would be receiving my MFA I felt a bit at peace for a while. I had let my hair grow long all summer, and all but stopped wearing make-up (mascara makes me feel entirely dolled up now). I felt in an odd way free—almost bare.

The fall came and went fairly quickly—the weekends alone at home and grocery-store-only outings feeling more and more like normalcy. It had been such a tough, trying year, that it suddenly felt nice to just stand still for a bit. So, I did.

In a brief amount of time, I watched (safely) as friends got married, got sick, got older and fell in love. I watched, with great anxiety, as our country voted in the most important election of our lives so far and took the deepest breath I’d ever taken as I watched that man face defeat—although he’s yet to swallow it. I watched as ex-lovers had babies, got engaged and never really stopped to think twice about any of it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the safety (and not in a lame, “safety-net” sort of way) of having T in my life has turned me into someone who not only craves quiet time at home, but really also sort of fell right damn into it very easily, though unexpectedly. I’ve heard the saying so many times before, but you really don’t realize everything is different once you find the right fit because that place feels like it’s always been home. I am grateful to not only have that now and moving forward, but most certainly throughout the trying, unstable times of 2020. In fact, I don’t know how I would have survived without it.

The holidays always creep up on me, and after being dealt a shitty hand from work (don’t even get me started, I’m still fuming) they came that much quicker. T & I were lucky enough to spend the holidays back home in the swamp, visiting my parents and his Dad. The time went by fast but was relaxing, fun, and reenergizing. We spent New Year’s Eve playing giant Jenga and yard Yahtzee with my parents in the cool, tropical winter of Florida. It was nice. We got tired right around 11, so we laid in bed until midnight talking, staying awake just long enough to share our new year’s kiss. It felt right—a proper send off to such a strange and unusual year. I was exctly where I needed to be—wrapped up in a blanket of T’s embrace, comfy in a bed in my childhood bedroom.

So now, here it is: 2021—the supposed upgrade to 2020, or so everybody secretly hopes. So now, as I sit here, drinking a warm, soy-chai latte (homemade!) I find myself having great difficulty setting an intention for the days ahead of me. I feel so beaten and bruised and physically fatigued for no reason but the experiences of 2020 and the courses they ran all over my life. I’m feeling reflective of having finished yet another year of my life (and my Saturn return! Halleluj!) and finding it hard to be anything but fatigued. I guess it’s from the year that’s just finished—more so than any other year it physically pained me at times to be alive at times. I’m missing so many of my friends who I haven’t been able to see for extended months at a time now. I am craving a sense of normalcy, of safety, so that I can feel better about making plans, but as for right now I just don’t have it. I am quietly trying to make subtle changes within myself and how I react to the world around me, but just like the start of this new year, that process is a slow one.

One of my resolutions (though I’m growing to hate that word more and more with each passing year) is to get back to writing. I had a good, albeit stressful, thing going while still in school, and after finishing my novel and receiving feedback, I couldn’t shake the feeling of absolute failure. It’s still there—it’s really hard to try and celebrate an accomplishment when you don’t feel like your work was good enough to warrant anything at all—especially not a fine arts degree. I never said I was a fiction writer—I just wanted to get better at writing fiction—so I need to remember that and allow myself to veer away from that for a while, to work on something new. Something I’ve been saying I’m not ready to write for many years now, something that when I now say that is just a plain old lie: My memoir. I’m ready to close the chapter in my life where I am a flight attendant, so the timing feels more than perfect.

I learned so much about what I want to do within my career and what sort of boundaries I don’t want to place on myself—and I’m trying, I really am. T gifted me with my own pottery wheel for Christmas and we are going to set it up this weekend and I am so excited to get my hands muddy and start creating. Until this year, I didn’t realize how much I needed a creative outlet other than writing—I had been depending on it for too long, my little cup felt bone dry. So, I’m excited to see where this new hobby takes me and how it influences my ability to return to the blank page—quite literally.

I know this year will not be the quick fix that so many are hopeful for—I think quite the opposite, actually. But here are some things I know for sure will happen: I will move out of my apartment and in with T. We will then, immediately get a dog and a new apartment. This, alone, feels like enough to fill the pages of the blank year ahead of us. I will go long periods of time without seeing my loved ones, and without traveling (bleak as this lifestyle may be). I will write, even when it’s hard to. I will publish something—I’m at work submitting pieces as we speak, and though the process is slow, I can tell this is my opportunity—I am ready t fight for it. I will turn 32, and the numerology of my life will seem more aligned. I will spend my birthday at home, alone, because of course Moulin Rouge has now been cancelled (I’m fine with it). I will learn more about myself the more I use my hands to create, to plant, to sculpt, to mold. I will love with fervor. I will smile more, because it’s actually healthier for you, even though my black heart hates to admit it. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll get to attend a live concert, though I realize this might be wishful thinking at this point. I will do mushrooms and giggle with the colors. I will cry. I will hurt and I will cause harm. But through it all, I will persevere. Because if 2020 taught me anything, it’s that I am capable of regenerating into new versions of myself that I didn’t even have the time to dream up. I can adapt to whatever is thrown at me, though it will often times feel impossible. I can, and will, create. I can be reborn (as many times as I’d like to, too).

So, thanks, 2020, for teaching me more about myself than any other period of five years has ever taught me. I definitely feel like I’ve been through the ringer a couple of times, yet I find myself still standing day after day. It must be the way a domino feels, standing up, time after time, knowing that something right in front of you is about to knock you down. But instead of thinking about what I’m bringing down with me, I’m thinking of the entire collective as a whole—we are all experiencing this together. And maybe, just maybe, on the other side, there’s a kid with a smile waiting to do it all over again. And that’s perhaps where the beauty lays: we have to tear everything down in order to do better, be better, make change. Nobody likes to catch fire, but everyone loves rising from the ashes. We’ll all get to where we’re headed, one way or another. And eventually, I hope, we’ll see that the other side is better than we could have ever dreamt of.

I hope that 2021 is a bridge that brings us from destruction to creation. I hope the journey is long, so we all appreciate the outcome.

I love you all and wish you warmth and wellness into this year and beyond.

Happy new year—honor the circumstances you have around you and let them help you grow.

[jalapeno-princess]

Just Weren’t Meant To Be

(THE BICEPS) (I’M SCREAMING)

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 10K

Genre: Angsty Angst, Lovers to Ex’s

Summary: You find yourself returning back to California after four years of being away in order to attend the wedding of your best friend BamBam. Although you were more than excited to spend time with your family and to show your soon-to-be husband Jinyoung around the place you were born and raised, there was a specific person you weren’t all too excited to have to see again. Your first love, Mark Tuan. 

A/N: Based on the song “Home from the summer” by Sara Kay. I heard this song a couple of days ago and the story just came out like it normally does after I finish listening to a song. I started writing Chapter four in the “Crazy little thing called love” series, but I’m going to be honest--I’m having a little bit of writer’s block with that story and I’m frustrated because I want to hurry up and finish the series because I have a lot of other ideas planned, but my life is all over the place right now and so is this story. But I hope you all enjoy it anyway. Happy reading! 

We started getting close Freshman year, when all our friends were smoking cigarettes And we couldn't stand that secondhand smoke So we'd leave and drive around until you had to drop me off at home Swear that was yesterday But in two weeks I'd be moving south And you'd be moving to a town that I had never heard of I wish we had more time, why did I ever wanna grow up? You said you'll see me When we're home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other

Hey Mark?”

“Hm?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

You and your best friend Mark were currently lying on his roof, gazing at the stars while talking about how he needed to take his car to the auto repair shop when you found yourself curious about the future. The two of you were currently in your senior year of high school and it didn’t occur to you how time practically came and went in the blink of an eye. It felt like it was just yesterday you and the boy who’s face was smashed against your navel were introduced to one another. 

Back in freshman year, there was one night that your best friend BamBam was meant to pick you up from a coffee shop after you worked on a group project for more than three hours. Two of your group members were actually upperclassman and they offered to drop you off, but because BamBam already agreed to doing so—you politely declined. However, you found yourself waiting almost twenty minutes after they all left just to get a response back from the older boy. Seeing as how you’ve been friends with him for almost five years, you should have been aware of the fact that he had a tendency to make multiple plans with different people. 

“Y/n—shit, I was supposed to pick you up tonight wasn’t I? I’m so fucking sorry—ah, I’m like forty minutes away; let me call you a cab. I’ll pay for it—wait, I have a better idea. I have a friend who lives right by the shopping mall, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind taking you home. He owes me one anyway. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” 

You wanted to yell at him; how could he be so irresponsible and forget about the favor he was the one to offer in the first place. He was completely aware that you were the definition of an introvert. Sometimes, you had a hard time processing the fact that you both were friends in the first place. You and BamBam were complete opposites; he was outgoing and extremely friendly. 

His bright and bubbly personality was one that you were always jealous of. You couldn’t talk to someone for more than five minutes without having a mental breakdown. A part of you wanted to say no; although you and BamBam had such a tight-knit friendship, there were still some things about him that you had no idea about. His group of friends; the ones he’d hang out with when he wasn’t with you just so happened to be a mystery to you. 

The only thing you knew about them were their faces. You didn’t know any of their names; nor have you been introduced with any of them, but it was because BamBam claimed that he wanted to keep you all to himself. He was extremely protective over you. From the time you both were kids, BamBam was like your shadow. 

Everywhere you went, best believe he was right there with you—no matter where or when. You were the only person in his life that has been a constant and he was going to make sure it stayed that way. When Mark arrived less than ten minutes after you got off the phone with BamBam, you were mentally thanking him for his failure to be your ride home. 

Sure, you believed your best friend was one of the most attractive boys you’ve seen in your life, but the minute he parked the car and made his way over to you, your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest and in to his hands. He was beautiful in a way that you didn’t think boys were capable of being. His smile—God, it had to be the prettiest one to have been sent your way. 

“Hey, you must be y/n. I’m Mark. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner—and I’m even sorrier that you have BamBam as a friend. Let’s get you home.” 

You didn’t know what to expect on the ride back to your house, but laughing till your stomach hurt was the last thing you thought would have happened. What started off as a simple joke about how BamBam has the attention span of a puppy turned in to a vast conversation about how gummy worms were way better than gummy frogs. You didn’t think you would’ve had as much fun as you did, but now that you knew of Mark Tuan and how he was like, you wouldn’t be able to get enough of him.  

“Let me think, oooh! Rich—hahahaha! I’m kidding—well, not really. I actually wouldn’t mind being an astronaut!” You playfully rolled your eyes before shoving him off of your lap at the sound of his unrealistic expectations. 

“Mark, I’m being serious.”

“And so am I! What? You don’t think I’d be able to get a job at NASA and float through outer space—fine. But I don’t know what you mean by “when we grow up.” Y/n, we’re months away from becoming adults. We’re old.” 

You giggled softly at the way he whined when talking about how old the two of you were going to be. Unlike Mark who hated the idea of aging and having to prepare for the real world, you were excited to finally go off to college and possibly get a job that allowed you to travel the world. You still had yet to decide exactly what major you planned on studying, but you knew you wanted to go away for college. 

Studying abroad has been a dream of yours for as long as you could remember. One thing you really enjoyed was learning more about many different cultures around the world and you’d find yourself reaching at any opportunity offered that would allow you to actually pursue your dreams. Mark on the other hand, couldn’t give less of a shit about what field he was going in to. 

The boy hated school with a passion and if it weren’t for your nagging and the constant need to force him to complete his work, Mark was pretty sure he would have flunked at least two—if not all of his classes if you weren’t so persistent with his education. That was only one of the many things Mark adored about you. You were the only person who genuinely cared about his success—his well-being, his happiness and just him in general. Honestly, Mark couldn’t care less about what his future held. As long as you were in it, he’d be content. Even if it meant he worked in a grocery store bagging people’s items or being a tailor for elderly men. 

“I can’t give you an actual answer because I have no clue. I just want to work somewhere that I will be happy working for. What about you? Do you have an idea or have you brainstormed what you’re going to do once we graduate?” 

You contemplated his question for a couple of seconds. For some odd reason, you felt as if you shouldn’t tell him of your plans; you were afraid of his reaction once you were to admit you had every intention of leaving California knowing that Mark had every intention of living there for the rest of his life. California was your home; it was all you’ve known for the last eighteen years of your life. It was time for you to make new memories elsewhere. As much as you hated lying to him, it broke your heart even more watching his defeated facial expression when he heard something he wished he rather not have. 

“I don’t know. I just want a job I won’t stress over. A job that I will sincerely enjoy and not cry over because of how difficult the work is.” He hummed in agreement before sitting up and looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen him give you before. There was a certain glint in his eye—you couldn’t put your finger on it, but you did particularly enjoy the warm feeling his gaze caused to your chest. 

“I don’t care what my occupation ends up being, where I end up living, what kind of house I end up purchasing or the car I end up driving—all I care about are the people that are in my life and I know you are going to be one of them. Hell, you’re the only one that I need y/n.”

You didn’t know how you were able to stay away from California for so long. Four years was an extensive amount of time to have been away from the place you called home, but you were too busy living out the life you’ve only dreamt of when you were old enough to realize what dreaming was. Right after you graduated from high school, you wasted no time in packing your bags and traveling thousands of miles away to Europe. 

Out of all the places in the world to choose from, you decided to go with Europe specifically because of how beautiful the scenery and architecture were. Studying abroad had to be both the best and the worst decision you’ve ever made in your life. Sure, you were given the chance of a lifetime; being able to visit all these different countries at the prime age of only nineteen was something that most people could only fantasize about. But it was at the cost of losing your favorite person in the entire world. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark since the night that you left for Italy. 

Most of your friends were more than happy to hear of your plans. Mark on the other hand wasn’t too fond of the idea—at all. In fact, he was selfish. He begged you to stay and he told you he was willing to do whatever he had to in order to prevent you from leaving. You couldn’t blame him for the way he was acting—only a couple months before your high school graduation, both you and Mark agreed on taking your relationship further than the friendship you’ve shared for years. 

It wasn’t an overnight decision; your feelings for Mark only grew the longer you were friends with him for and when he asked you to be his girlfriend, it only confirmed that he felt the same way. If you thought that Mark already was an amazing friend, he was an even better boyfriend. He was already such a patient, kind-hearted and very generous person to everyone he knew. But you were the lucky person who got to see and experience how loving and tender Mark could be in a relationship. 

Before you; Mark was never one to date. Dating was not in his vocabulary. He wasn’t necessarily a fuckboy like you considered most of his friends to be. Every girl he would get involved with knew of his intentions. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get in to a relationship. There were times that he would get lonely and crave the presence of someone other than his friends and family. He just didn’t care about the domestic part that came with having a girlfriend. 

Mark felt like he was still too young to worry about impressing someone, keeping in contact and constantly having to texting someone, changing himself to be someone his significant other would be proud of—all he wanted to focus on was living freely without a care in the world before life actually became all the more difficult. Once he realized that he was falling for you, he knew he was screwed—yet at the same time, it felt good because it was you. 

When he found himself missing you on the days he couldn’t see you or right after he would drop you home, when he’d find himself calling you up in the middle of the night because he wanted to hear your voice, when he began cancelling on outings with his friends in order to spend time with you, he knew he had found someone who meant more to him than life itself. He wanted to do better—be better for you. 

Falling in love with you had to be the easiest and honestly the best thing Mark has ever done. You’ve captivated his heart in ways that he never thought was possible for him to experience. Mark never felt like he was capable of loving someone nor receiving love from anyone other than his family. But when the two of you began dating, all he ever wanted to do was love you and be loved by you—and only you. 

Your relationship lasted for eight months and deep down in your heart, you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You were willing to give up on your dreams in order to continue your relationship with Mark. There were many opportunities out there for you that didn’t require having to leave—and you were sure that you would one day be able to experience traveling the world; hopefully by that time, you’d be able to go with Mark. 

Everything you ever wanted to do, you wanted him right by your side when accomplishing it. Sure, there was so much more out there that the world had to offer, but there was only one Mark Tuan. Mark was the one to show you what love was. He taught you how to fall in love with yourself; he made you love the things you hated about yourself simply because he loved everything about you. You felt as if you were the most beautiful girl in the entire world because he looked at you and treated you as though you were the most ethereal goddess that he just so happened to have the honor in being able to call his. 

The two of you were still so young to really understand that being in love also meant making sacrifices for the people you truly cared about. As much as you hated the idea of being away from him, you wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too. You were willing to keep a long distance relationship because you felt it with your entire being that Mark was your person and that he was the one you would settle down and start a family with. 

The two of you spent every single day of summer together. Some days, you would do something quite eventful. Mark was a daredevil and loved anything adventurous. Hiking, scuba diving, zip lining and even skydiving were only a few of the many activities you did together. On the days that you were too lazy to even get out of bed, you would stay in and watch movies together—sometimes it led to kissing—which usually led to you on your knees bringing Mark to heaven more than once in your love making session. 

You could only hope that he would have wanted to wait for you; but you were well aware that it was too much to ask for. He might have told you on a daily basis that he loved you with every beat of his pathetic heart, but sometimes love just wasn’t enough to keep someone in your life. The day that you left for Europe was the same day that he told you he couldn’t handle it. He claimed that you chose your dreams over him and that if it were him in your shoes, he would have chose you.

It hurt—hearing him talk so negatively about something you’ve wanted to do for longer than you could count on your hands made you feel so dejected. Mark of all people should’ve been the one to support you; to cheer you on in each and every one of your endeavors. It made you feel as though he didn’t love you as much as you thought he did. If he genuinely cared about you, he would’ve gave long distance a try. 

You knew you were going to miss him, and that you would be miserable not being able to have him around. But you would rather be in a relationship with him even if it meant being a world away from one another than to be with anyone else you’d get to see everyday. Your heart felt as if it could break right then and there knowing that he didn’t have the same mindset as you. Losing Mark was a pain that was so hard to bare. He was in your life—your daily routine for over four years. 

He made you laugh on the days that it didn’t even feel possible to omit any kind of emotion let alone a lively one. He held you and whispered sweet nothings in to your hair when you felt as if the entire world was against you. He kissed your cheeks as a distraction from your studies and held your hand as a way of comfort when you were in a crowded area. How were you supposed to live without the only person who gave you the will to live in the first place. 

Mark was the only person and honestly the only thing you could really look forward to when you’d wake up in the morning. He was all your heart knew and wanted to know. What were you supposed to do and how could you possible go on without him? 

“Babe—you’re dozing off again. Everything okay? I know it’s been a while since you’ve been back home, so let me know if you want to stop somewhere and take a small rest.” 

You looked at your boyfriend who was currently driving the two of you to a hotel near your parents house. Park Jinyoung was an angel; an actual prince. Not only was he painstakingly handsome, irritatingly intelligent and extremely polite, but he had such a big heart. It honestly irritated you how perfect he actually was. You and Jinyoung had just gotten engaged a little over two months ago and you didn’t think that anyone would have been able to fill the hole in your heart that Mark caused when he broke up with you all those years ago. You didn’t think you’d be able to love anyone the way you loved him; but then again—you considered the love you had for Mark to be immature and silly. 

The two of you were still teenagers at the time. You still had yet to really experience what love actually felt like—or at least that’s what you kept telling yourself in attempts to rid the thought of him from your mind completely. Sure, you loved Jinyoung more than you would ever be able to express to him; but there was still a tiny little part of you that missed Mark and wished that it was his ring on your finger. 

Even when you first met Jinyoung while in a cute little cafe in Paris while you both were studying abroad and began dating him not too long after meeting, you were still holding on to a thread of hope that Mark was going to welcome you back home with open arms once your time in Europe was over with. You’d find yourself looking at your phone every now and then, waiting for a text from him telling you that he made a mistake and that he wanted you back in his life. 

That he would be willing to continue your relationship and that everything would be okay between the two of you—but nothing ever came and you haven’t heard from him or seen him since you left. You gave up on him entirely and allowed Jinyoung to break down the walls that you’ve spent so much time building up after the break up. There were some days that you felt like Jinyoung deserved better; he deserved someone with less baggage and turmoil that came from your previous relationship. You didn’t feel the need to mention Mark, nor did you want him knowing that you were still harboring feelings for your ex-boyfriend, but it was only natural for you to do so. 

He was your friend before he was your boyfriend—honestly, you began regretting ever agreeing to be in a relationship with him. No matter how much you liked him before you dated, you would have rather stayed friends with him and at least have him in your life as just a friend than to not have him at all. You smiled softly to your boyfriend before placing your hand on his thigh and squeezing it gently. 

“I’m good—I just, I don’t know how I’m going to react when I see my friends from high school. Most of them I haven’t even talked to since graduation. Oh, I’m going to warn you, my family can be a little —much. They’re all going to be at the wedding, so I’m just preparing you for all the madness before you can get upset with me for not telling you sooner. BamBam and I have been friends for so many years and since we were always together, our families ended up growing close to one another also—so yeah. His family might even approach you also and I just want to apologize beforehand. You might just want to leave me after the festivities are over and I wouldn’t blame you.” 

His laughter that you’ve grown to adore in the last few months filled the entirety of the rent-a-car and you had a huge feeling that if you were to look at him right now, his eyes would be scrunched while crinkles would appear right under. You didn’t think that someone who was just a couple of months away from turning twenty-seven years old could possess such an adorable, high pitched giggle; but here he was, proving you wrong like he did with almost everything you had your doubts about. 

Jinyoung never gave you a reason to question your self-worth, nor did he ever do anything to make you insecure. You received at least one compliment almost every single day from him whether it was about your appearance or your personality. In the beginning of your relationship, it came as a surprise to you when you found yourself growing jealous whenever you caught girls ogling over him—but it was inevitable. Anyone with good eyesight could see how gorgeous your fiancé was. 

He stood out in a crowd not only because he was almost six feet tall, but because he had very unique and exotic features. His eyebrows were nicely shaped; he had a sharp jawline, well-defined cheekbones, a cute little button nose and his lips were very plump. You were also quick with observing how a lot of his classmates would look at you with either jealousy or disgust. 

Jinyoung had explained to you that before he applied to study abroad, he made a pact with himself that he would focus on his education and put his love life on hold until he graduated with his bachelor’s degree in criminology. For the first couple of months, he was doing quite well. Although he did see a few girls he believed were very pretty, none of them really caught his attention for more than a couple of seconds. 

When Jinyoung first approached you in the café, he had no idea you would mean as much to him as you did now. All he wanted to do was ask you about the book you were reading. R.L. Stine had to be one of his favorite authors, but when he saw your cheeks flush as he stood at the corner of your table, he couldn’t have given less of a shit about the novel you were holding in your hands. He wanted to learn more about you; what you were doing in France, if you were an avid reader, how you liked your coffee in the mornings and if you’ve seen any episodes of the office. 

The last time he’s ever felt his heart race over a girl was back in the seventh grade. He felt like something was wrong with him for not feeling the desire to chase after girls the way his friends used to, but he believed being single and putting his education first was worth it. Not only was he interning at one of the most prestigious law offices South Korea had to offer, but he was just months away from marrying the person he considered the love of his life. 

It didn’t take him too long to come to the conclusion that he was in love with you. He was actually embarrassed to admit just how quickly he found himself putting you and the four letter word in the same sentence together. However, if he could go back in time, he would’ve admitted what he felt to you sooner. 

“Don’t apologize baby—it’s understandable. They must all be excited to see you again, so it’s a given that they’ll be curious. Especially seeing as how you’re engaged. A couple of trivial questions aren’t going to drive me away. You’re going to be my wife in February, so there’s no getting rid of me now or at all for that matter. You’re stuck with me forever; so I’m going to put up with whatever you consider is embarrassing, crazy or unnecessary. I mean look—I’ve seen you through your stinky morning breath, your drunken stupors, the many times you’ve cried over school, that one time you broke out in hives because you didn’t know you were allergic to pollen and I still think you are the most exceptionally beautiful and indescribably wonderful human to walk this earth. Everything is going to be fine y/n and even if things don’t turn out the way you want them to, I’ll be right by your side to protect and keep you away from anyone or anything that could possibly make you uncomfortable.” 

His kind speech tugged on your heartstrings in the sweetest way. Jinyoung’s words never failed to make you smile. Sometimes you’d find yourself tearing up at how thoughtful he could be. You weren’t going to lie; of course you invited Jinyoung to tag along with you to BamBam’s wedding because you wanted all your friends and family to meet the man you were planning on spending the rest of your life with. However, that wasn’t the only reason. 

It was evident that Mark was going to be at the wedding whether you liked it or not. From what you’ve heard, he and BamBam were still very close friends and the last thing you needed was to see him with someone else while you were all by yourself. You hated the fact that you still thought about Mark every now and then. Not only did he break your heart and make you feel as if you weren’t worth waiting around for, but he made you feel as if your feelings, your dreams and your passions were invalid all because he was so in over his head and only cared about himself and his needs. 

What did it matter if he was in a relationship—or if he was just like you; moments away from marrying someone else. That’s life. You told yourself if you were to see him, you’d pretend like he didn’t exist but honestly, what good would that do? You were older now and you believed you were way passed your grudge against him. The man on your left, singing along to Post Malone off-key while tapping his hands on the wheel was the only person you cared about now. 

Since this was Jinyoung’s first time in California, you decided to keep your arrival a secret from everyone other than your parents. You didn’t want his first memory of being in the sunshine state to be of people pulling him here and there, asking him about his job, how the two of you met and what he did in his free time. You also wanted some alone time with him before everyone could get acquainted with him and possibly desire his full attention.

For the first couple of days, you and Jinyoung drove all around California; you brought him to the neighborhood you grew up in, showed him the schools you attended when you were younger, took him to Venice beach and the Santa Monica pier. You even surprised him with tickets to go to Disneyland. Honestly, it was nice taking a breather from the harsh reality that adulting brought both you and your soon-to-be husband. In those three days, you’ve gotten to witness how much of a child at heart Jinyoung is and how excited he would get at the littlest things. He pulled you everywhere around the park and you both ate almost all the cutely decorated treats they had to offer. 

On the day of BamBam’s wedding, you didn’t wake up until you had to start getting ready. You were on vacation; waking up at three in the afternoon was normal. Even more so because Jinyoung kept you up all night ramming himself inside of you at a deliciously rough and jack rabbit like pace. Your legs were practically jelly and you mentally cursed him for being a little too animalistic the night before. 

You didn’t think much of your outfit when you first purchased it; a simple maroon colored  strapless dress that showed off just the right amount of cleavage to leave little to the imagination yet still very classy that hugged your curves perfectly. Witnessing Jinyoung’s jaw drop as soon as he saw you with both your hair and makeup done made your heart flutter. He wasted no time in briskly walking over to you and bringing his hand up to grip at your hips. 

“You know—we could skip this entire thing and just send a gift to the lucky couple later. I kind of—I mean, I need to show you exactly what seeing you in that dress is doing to me. I’m sure you see my painfully hardened erection through these slacks. You look so fucking beautiful baby—you’ll probably give the bride a run for her money. How much time do we have left? Do you think I could at least eat you out—“

You playfully shoved him away from you and continued with the finishing touches on your hair. “Finish getting ready you horndog; that dress shirt isn’t going to iron itself. Chop chop babe, get moving. Stop that, I can see you undressing me with your eyes Park Jinyoung. If you are a good boy, I’ll let you take my dress off as soon as we arrive back here.” 

He released such a cute sigh; one that he always seemed to give you whenever he didn’t get his way but it was quickly replaced with a grin right after you promised him the latter. Your fiancé stole a chaste kiss from the corner of your mouth before making his way in to the bathroom to finish fixing his hair. As soon as the two of you were both done getting ready, you made your way over to the hotel BamBam was having his reception at. 

All of a sudden, your calm exterior was now distraught and worried beyond belief. Not even the comforting touch of Jinyoung’s hand wrapped around the back of your nape could sooth your nerves. There was a 95% chance you were going to see Mark tonight and you were afraid that something bad was going to happen. With a few deep breaths, you tried your best to think about anything but the possibility of tonight ending in ruins. 

It didn’t take too long for you and Jinyoung to find the hotel; there were at least fifteen different signs scattered around the area and you were sure BamBam set them up with every intention of gaining the attention of pedestrians, drivers and anyone passing by. The thought of how he never changed at all made you giggle softly. Your best friend was always an attention seeker and now that he was getting married, you knew he was going to use this night as an advantage to be the center of attention. 

There were hundreds of cars in the parking lot and you recognized a couple belonging to some of Bambam’s aunts, uncles and cousins. You saw a few of them leaving their cars and walking over towards the lobby. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night—but you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. You were mentally preparing yourself to bump in to Mark. Although it’s been years since the breakup and you were completely over him, you didn’t know how you would react if he were to come up to you in the hopes of starting a conversation. After he parked the car, Jinyoung reached over the console and squeezed your thigh to get your attention. 

“Come on babe, the sooner we go in and join the party, the faster we can leave and I can take this dress off of you like you promised.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes and giggled at his all but innocent insinuation before getting out from your side of the car. Jinyoung was quick to take his place by your side; he grabbed your purse and immediately intertwined your hands together. Something about his presence was exceedingly calming. No matter what were to happen once you both walked in to the ballroom, you knew everything was going to be okay as long as your fiancé stayed by your side. When the two of you finally made your way inside and out towards the garden where the ceremony was being held, you saw that almost all the chairs were filled up. 

There were many familiar faces in the crowd; you smiled politely at BamBam’s siblings and smirked when you saw your mutual Jackson who was sitting next to who you were told was his girlfriend. You didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling seeing that so much has changed in the last four years since you’ve been gone. 

Jackson and BamBam were the last two people on earth that you would have ever thought would settle down and start families. Back in high school, all they ever did was attend parties, get wasted and fool around with any girl that showed interest in them. Now; witnessing your best friend cry as his bride-to-be walked down the aisle towards him caused you to tear up a little yourself. Out of all your friends, BamBam was the only one to keep in touch with you for the last couple of years. 

You could still remember the day he called you up and told you that he was seeing someone; you were in complete and utter disbelief at the time and because you believed you knew BamBam like the back of your hand, you just assumed this was a phase until you’d listen to him talk about her the way Jinyoung would talk about you to his friends and his family. He was head over heels in love with her and you couldn’t have been more happier for him. 

The entire ceremony was beautiful; their vows were both so heartfelt and full of love and promise for their future ahead. Their sweet words and the way they looked at one another only heightened your excitement for your upcoming nuptials. Twenty minutes went by faster that you had thought it would and before you knew it, all the guests were being ushered in to the grand ballroom that was bigger than you could even have imagined. 

That was just the kind of person bambam was; go big or go home. You signed you and your fiancé in at the registration booth and released a sigh of relief when you were told you’d be sitting with your family. Immediately as you found your seats, your mom wasted no time pulling you and Jinyoung in for hugs; and whispering how beautiful you looked and how Jinyoung only became more and more handsome every time she saw him. 

A lot has changed since you left your small town to pursue your extraordinary dreams. You had seen them a couple of times in the last year during the holiday season or when they travelled up to see you during the summer time. Even if you were more than happy to finally experience marriage and what it would feel like to be Mrs.Park Jinyoung, you felt as if your mom was more excited than you were if it was even possible. Most mothers couldn’t wait for the day that their daughters get proposed to; especially to someone as attractive, hardworking and exuberantly outgoing like your soon-to-be husband.

You still had to get used to the idea that you were only months away from becoming a married woman. Watching BamBam and his wife look at each other as if they were the only two people there in the room made your heart flutter. You were glad BamBam found someone who would love him and take good care of him the way he never failed to do so with everyone in his life; the way he did with you for the entire duration of your friendship. 

Both you and Jinyoung were too busy having a conversation about what your plans for the rest of the week were going to be that you failed to notice the way everyone in your family turned their heads towards the entrance. Whenever you would talk with your fiancé, nobody else could grab your attention even if they tried. You were so in love with him; your world revolved around the handsome man gazing at you with the most adoring look in his eyes as you talked about driving to San Fransisco and visiting the Golden Gate Bridge. 

Just like the way BamBam looked at his wife, you were sure the way you and Jinyoung looked at one another mirrored your best friend’s tender stare. Honestly you would have continued pretending as if you and Jinyoung weren’t surrounded by all these people if it wasn’t for him adverting his gaze towards the direction everyone seemed to be looking in. 

Curiosity got the best of you and you decided to see what your family seemed to be so interested in. Once the couple came in to sight however, you wished you kept to yourself and ignored the way your mom’s look of disgust. 

Four years. 

It’s been four years since you last saw him. Four years since he told you he didn’t want to wait for you. Four years since he decided your relationship wasn’t worth fight for. It took almost an entire year for you to completely get over your relationship. Hell, it’s been four years yet you were still wondering how he was doing. What he looked like, whether or not he was in a relationship, what career he decided to pursue—if he ever regretted giving up on you so easily—if he missed you the way you missed him. 

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about him at least once in the last couple of weeks. Honestly, you thought about him every single day and it made you feel guilty because you were engaged. You had someone else; someone who loved you more than life itself. Someone who gave you the world on a silver platter and made you feel like the only girl in the entire world. What you and Mark had was an experimental relationship; puppy love. 

At the time, you thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to you—that he was the most amazing and wonderful human being in the entire world. Then he broke your heart in to a million pieces and left your world crumbling down, as if it was the easiest thing to do. He never once considered your feelings; only thought about his needs, his desires, his dreams—what he wanted. 

Mark was an immature and selfish person; he had yet to learn that love and relationships were a two person job. Relationships are between two people; if he really loved you the way you knew with your heart that you loved him, he would have fought for you and let you do your thing knowing that you’d come back to him. This was it—you knew it was going to happen sooner or later tonight, but you weren’t as ready as you probably thought you would have been. Your stomach sank at the sight of him. 

Time always seemed to be in his favor; if you thought he was exceedingly handsome back in high school, he was an even bigger sight for sore eyes now at the prime age of twenty-four. His features only grew more prominent; his lips that you used to love kissing so much were plumper—more fuller. His chubby cheeks that you’d find yourself unable to stop pinching out of habit no longer existed. His hair was longer; back in high school he cut it at least once a month because he never wanted it to pass his ears, but now it was almost down to the back of his neck. He might have been wearing a suit, but you could tell he has been working out by the way his suit was like a second skin; the outline of his biceps were prominent and it made your head spin. 

As much as you felt like you could continue staring at him and analyzing how much he’s changed in the last four years, your eyes just so happened to land on the body next to him. Whoever the woman was to him—she was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. She had a petite frame; he hovered over her almost by a foot, but their height difference was actually kind of cute. She also had long, wavy hair and a glow that you felt was the cause of the bump she was sporting. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was pregnant; her maternity dress alone gave it away. 

She had to be at least four or five months pregnant and for some reason, it felt like a stab to your chest—but why did it matter? Mark was no longer the man who owned your heart nor was he the one who deserved it. Maybe it was the teenager in you—the one who was madly in love with Mark that was upset to see someone else living out the life that you should have been. Most people would still consider eighteen “too young” to actually understand what love is and to plan out their futures; but even then, when you would look at Mark, you knew he was the one you wanted to be the father of your children. 

Every time you would hang out or sleep over at his house, you witnessed the way he interacted with his three nieces. Those little girls meant the world to him. He never failed to give them his full attention and did whatever it was that they asked of him without complaining. He always talked about having a big family one day and you knew how much he loved kids. You knew why your mom was so upset; she had to hear you cry every single day for four months straight over your breakup. 

She saw how much pain you had to suffer through once Mark let you go. You obviously weren’t the same person you were all those years ago; heartbreak did that to people. Although she actually really liked Mark and approved of your relationship back then, she no longer had anything nice to say about him. Poor Jinyoung looked so confused; in the three years that you’ve been together for, not once have you ever told him about Mark. It didn’t seem necessary because he was no longer involved in your life anyway and he was in the past. If you continued to bring him up, it would just show that you still cared about him and even if you did, you didn’t want anyone else to know that. 

Especially not your fiancé. But you knew he was going to ask you about it; the man who had your entire table’s attention had to be someone important. A huge part of you wanted to come up with an excuse to leave; it didn’t matter that he and his significant other were seated at a table on the complete opposite side of the room, knowing he was there, that he was in a relationship and that he was months away from being a father made you physically sick. You were now feeling so dizzy and you hated that even after all these years and all the pain and distress he put you through, his presence still had a huge effect on you. 

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” 

Your fiancé looked up at you in curiosity and began to stand up himself out of worry, but you gave him a reassuring smile and motioned for him to stay put. If Jinyoung was anything, it was observant. He had a feeling that you must’ve have known Mark and he couldn’t stop the voice in his head from taunting him with the idea that maybe Mark was an ex of some sorts. He wanted to believe that you wouldn’t keep such an important detail of your life like that from him; your relationship was full of trust and all he really wanted from you was honesty and loyalty. 

However, he didn’t want to force you in to telling him something you didn’t want to. If you didn’t tell him about your past relationships, it was for a reason and as he watched your facial expression; your now furrowed brows and pursed lips, he was well aware that Mark was obviously the reason. 

“I just have to use the bathroom, I’ll be quick.” You placed a chaste peck on his lips and hoped that he wasn’t watching you walk in the opposite way of the bathroom. You needed a breather—it was too much for your mind to process and honestly for you to take in. This might have been BamBam’s big night, but you were now growing angry with him. 

He had to know; even if Mark didn’t straight out tell him that he was seeing someone else let alone about to be a father, you were sure it had to be on social media somewhere. As your best friend, he should have been upfront and said something. Even if BamBam didn’t want to hurt you with the news, you would’ve felt better knowing months before hand. But maybe he felt like if you knew, you wouldn’t have came to the wedding. You were minutes away from telling Jinyoung that it was time to go. 

There was no way you would even be able to pretend that you were fine. The chilly breeze was quick to poke at your skin as soon as you made your way outside. California was always freezing in the nighttime when winter was approaching. You wouldn’t have been surprised to hear that it was only 40 degrees out—but you were too frustrated to even care that you could get hypothermia. Why didn’t you think about taking Jinyoung’s blazer? 

One thing you missed about California since you’ve been gone was the sky; it was always so pretty at night. You could see so many stars fill up the entirety of it and it was never too dark which you enjoyed. The longer you continued to breathe in and out while looking up at the moon, you could slowly feel yourself relaxing. Unfortunately, your little moment alone was soon interrupted by the last person you wanted to see at all tonight. 

“Hey. I thought I saw you come out here.” 

You could feel yourself choking up at the sound of his voice; it was much deeper than what it was back in high school. Chills were sent down your spine and it wasn’t because of the freezing weather. God, you missed his voice. Mark had such a calming and soothing voice; you would listen to him talk for hours on end if you could. Sometimes, you would have him read books to you specifically because you wanted to hear him talk. Right now though, you wanted him to leave. 

Being around him was suffocating. You allowed yourself a few seconds to prepare yourself for when you were to actually face him; if seeing him from far away was already driving you to the brink of insanity, what more when he was in close proximity of you? Once you finally turned around, you could feel your heart rate increase. From afar, he already looked so breathtaking, but looking at him just two feet away made you appreciate his dark, and gorgeous features. You contemplated on bolting away and you didn’t care if it was rude. This man showed you what love was only to take it away from you before you could actually appreciate it for what it was. You were sure you hated him; but seeing him right now—you weren’t as confident with your hatred. 

“Yeah. It was getting a little too crowded in there. I just—wanted to be alone.” Hopefully he took the hint and left you to it; but Mark—as much as he was smart wasn’t all that bright. Whenever you asked him to do one thing, he would manage to do the complete opposite; this situation was no different. 

“How have you been? You look very beautiful tonight—I mean, you are always so beautiful, but—tonight I just—wow.” 

Was he being serious right now? Why did he think after all these years of not talking to each other and pretending one another didn’t exist that he should have started your first conversation with complementing you? He had to have drank at least a couple of drinks; he was out of his mind. 

“Thanks—you don’t look too bad yourself. I’ve been good. Thank you for asking.” Your interaction with him was the definition of awkward. The tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife and you wanted it to end before questions or even confessions were brought up. 

“So uh—I actually saw you on the dance floor earlier—um—is that your boyfriend?” 

You wanted to laugh out of hysteria. Was he really your best friend for almost four years and your boyfriend for almost one? His face was one that would be instilled in the back of your mind forever, yet you felt like you were looking at a stranger. Why did he feel like it was the right thing to come out here and talk to you? You didn’t plan on having any interaction with him at all tonight, so why did he ruin your plans of avoiding him? 

“He’s my fiancé.” 

The silence that came right after your confession was unexpected. Why did it matter who Jinyoung was to you? Sure, you wanted to know what the woman was to Mark when you first saw them walk in together, but you no longer cared. He moved on and so did you. You were going to leave it at that. You didn’t fail to notice the way his jaw clenched and so did his fists—however, you didn’t understand why. It’s been at least ten minutes since you left the table; so you could only hope Jinyoung would come looking for you soon and take you away from this mess. 

“Congratulations—you look very happy—I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you.”

“He does. I am. Very happy. He’s an amazing fiancé. Thank you. What about you? I saw your—wife? Girlfriend? Congratulations on the pregnancy.” 

It felt like venom on your tongue; congratulating him on something you weren’t too thrilled about—but you didn’t have the right to be jealous. You both lived separate lives with two different lovers. It was evident the two of you were no longer the two crazy high schoolers that thought the world was theirs for the taking. You were both grown adults now on two different paths. What he did and the decisions he made no longer concerned you. 

“Thanks. She’s uh—my—girlfriend.” 

The last word seemed forced, as if he didn’t want you to know who she was or what he labeled their relationship. What did he have to hide though? She was practically a basketball and he came to the wedding with her in tow. Who else could she be if not his partner? You wouldn’t bring a random pregnant lady with you to your friend’s wedding if she didn’t mean something to you. With the tiniest bit of confidence building up in your veins, you spoke up with every intention on returning back to the party.

“Look, it was nice seeing you again—but I really should get going—“

“Please don’t marry him.” 

Your eyes widened in shock at his words. There was no way he was just drunk—he had to be high on some kind of illegal drug. Was he honestly being serious right now? Did you hear correctly, or was being around him making you imagine things. What the hell was wrong with him? 

“Mark what the fuck—“

“I made a mistake. A fucking huge and extremely stupid mistake and I’ve never regretted anything more in my life than when I ended our relationship. I’m so fucking sorry y/n. I was stupid and immature then—I shouldn’t have broken up with you. I should have tried harder for you. I should have actually thought about what would happen if I were to lose you. If only I knew how lucky I was back then to have you—I wouldn’t be seconds away from socking your fiancé in the face, but this is all my fault. That should be my ring on your finger y/n. This should’ve been our fucking wedding damnit. I didn’t realize just how much I loved you and how much I missed you until you were no longer mine to care about. I never told you this and fuck—if only I wasn’t so stubborn and so selfish, but you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven’t been happy in the last four years and it’s because my heart is so empty. I wanted to call you; to beg you to forgive me—to tell you that not a day went by that I didn’t think of you or wished that things went differently, but I didn’t think I had the ability nor the right to—“

“Oh and you do now? Honestly Mark, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m engaged to be married in a few months and you’re about to be a father. What made you think that confessing something like that was appropriate huh? That’s disrespectful to your girlfriend, to my fiancé and damnit—to me! Especially me! You don’t realize how much seeing you is fucking ruining me right now do you?! I didn’t want to care; I wanted to pretend that seeing your girlfriend pregnant doesn’t bother me but it does and I hate that it does. You ruined my life Mark. You broke my fucking heart because you were such a pathetic and immature boy. You don’t know what you’re saying. What we had—it wasn’t significant at all. We were kids! We had no idea what love was but now I do know and it’s because of the man sitting inside with my family. I love Park Jinyoung and he loves me—in the ways you never could. What we had is in the past. It’s never going to happen ever again Mark. I don’t know what kind of response you expected from me—but this is it. What? Did you think I was going to fall for that pathetic and poor excuse of an apology? I’m not the same girl I was when I first met you. Our break up made me realize my self-worth; I used to think I wasn’t enough for you to want to fight for me. To want to stay and live out our lives together. It took countless nights crying over you and drinking multiple bottles of wine to get rid of any thought of Mark Tuan to get me to come to the conclusion that it was you who didn’t deserve me. Jinyoung saved my life—he saved me from the monster you created after dropping me like I was nothing. I’m done—I have nothing left to say to you. If we didn’t have to come here tonight, I probably would have never heard from you anyway so you should have let it stay that way.” 

There had to be tears falling down your cheeks; your face was hot and you could feel your chest heaving out of frustration. For years, those words of anger have been building up and it felt like a ton of weight was finally lifted off of your shoulders. You said what you wanted to and you were sure there was more he wanted to admit, but you weren’t going to take any more of it. 

“There you are. I thought I saw you come out here, I’ve been looking for you everywhere baby—BamBam is looking for you. Babe? Y/n, everything alright? Why are you crying? Oh—Hi. I’m Jinyoung, y/n’s fiancé.” 

Although you didn’t want Jinyoung having to see you breaking down, especially while with another man; one you were sure he knew who he was to you, you were glad he was there. It was weird watching your fiancé reach his hand out for Mark to shake. Even if Jinyoung now knew that Mark was your ex and that he was the reason you were so upset, he was never the type to be rude or disrespectful towards someone he just met. 

Mark however, continued standing there and ignored his polite gesture like a jerk. Thankfully, Jinyoung took no offense and just retracted his hand before intertwining it with yours. “We should start returning back to our table y/n—It was nice meeting you.” You allowed your fiancé to pull you away and you didn’t even spare Mark a glance; you were too eager to get away from him before you could ruin your makeup and your night even more so. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything baby, just—do you think you’re going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Did you want to leave? We don’t have to go back to the hotel just yet. If you want to just drive around or go pick up some junk food, we can do that. I just really hate seeing you cry—unless it’s cries of pleasure—there we go. I knew I could get a smile out of you. I’ll do whatever it is that you want to do my love. Just say the word.”

“I love you Park Jinyoung. I don’t tell you as much as I should, but I do. So fucking much.” He gave you a cheeky grin and placed s gentle kiss on your nose. 

“I love you too y/n and I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. As much as I want to continue celebrating the newlyweds, let’s get you out of here.”

You've been busy That's okay I still can't wait to be Home for the summer We won't have to work so we're gonna Do whatever the hell we wanna 'Cause we know that one day we'll be Gone from each other We'll have lives in two different suburbs We'll have families with different lovers But for now, I know I'll see you when we're Home for the summer