#a healthy relationship does NOT contain feeling ignored and disrespected on the regular

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is realizing that no matter how hard you try, you just lack the ability to see a lot of nuance in your friends’ romantic struggles beyond what logically makes sense… so you begin to space out whenever they enter lengthy conversations about dating struggles that you’ve heard over and over again, because the only response you can think of is “that sucks” or “you deserve better, move on”. But these are probably best left unsaid, so you say nothing at all and let the alloros handle it

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[rainbowuniversepageantsys]

Inner Beauty Tip Piggyback: Have A Baggage Policy!

When we go on a trip we have to pack for a trip and that means we will have baggage. And when we get to our destination, we drop off our baggage in our hotel room and hopefully unpack some of the stuff. So if we unpack our material stuff it is even more important to unpack our figurative baggage. That type of baggage contains all of our experiences in life up until this point and our trauma, emotions, pain, and everything we have been through. If we carry this baggage with us all the time it will cause us to become burdened down with emotional turmoil. When I worked at Bank of America years ago as a Customer Service Rep my supervisor told us to take our backpacks off before we entered the door which was the equivalent of baggage and it helped us focus on our job more than our personal problems so we could do a good job. So it is very important to unpack your baggage at least once a month. If you don’t you are setting yourself up to: 

Be rude 

Be disrespectful 

Be tard 

Have an attitude problem 

Be poor 

Be emotional 

Be arrogant 

Be narcissistic 

Be pessimistic 

Be mean 

Feel heavy 

Have a sour day 

Be ignored 

Be ugly 

Get fired 

 

What does our baggage usually consist of: 

Resentment 

Regret 

Broken hearts 

Sadness or depression 

Abuse 

Emotions 

Plots and schemes 

Addictions 

Behavioral problems 

Mental health issues 

Weight problems 

Lies we tell ourselves 

Psychological disorders 

Disease or illness 

Truth we ignore or hide 

Other medical problems 

Family issues and foibles 

Mishaps and mistakes 

Relationship messes 

Possessions (demonic and material) 

Rose colored glasses mindset 

Too tight boundaries 

No boundaries at all 

Money problems 

Brain chaos or damage 

Stick in the mud attitude or excessive stubbornness 

 

How do we unpack this baggage so our inner beauty can shine?: 

Pray and talk to God on a daily basis (have a spiritual regimen) 

Meditate 

Learn to let go – have closure ceremonies 

Forgive 

Move forward and accept or embrace change 

Get over ourselves 

Be interested in others 

Care about others 

Pay attention to your season and work on it or work through it 

Bloom where you are planted 

Be ready for the uproot when it shows up 

Have a growth mindset 

Value your job, school, teachers, friends, connections, significant others, pets, home, possessions, yourself and everything that means something to you and you want to keep it 

Talk to a therapist, counselor, pastor or life coach 

Be open 

Be careful and circumspect 

Be mindful 

Have a plan for everything like we have an earthquake preparedness kit or like volunteer put together care packages 

Use money smart skills 

Accommodate for what you missed out on in childhood (keep it safe and healthy) 

View baggage as too heavy or too ugly so you can change it 

Schedule in play time (have a toy box of stuff you can unwind with or have fun with) 

Create a wellness regimen and routine] 

Have a daily regular routine (even if you stay home and are home-schooled or work at home) 

Treat people the way you want to be treated – you will have less baggage to unpack 

Pamper and spoil yourself at least once a week (especially if you have kids) 

Pay it forward and give back to your world or your community 

 

Exercise: Burn Your Story/Rebirth – write down all of the things that you carry in your baggage (hurts, disappointments, loss, abuse, trauma, sadness, pain, sickness, etc.). Read it out loud and then say a pray that you are going to release all of this baggage. Light a match if you have one and set that paper on fire in a safe place and watch it burn (an alternative would be to tear it up into tiny pieces and flush it down the toilet). You just burned your story. Now take that pen and paper and write a paragraph or two about what you now need to renew your life and move forward with your plans after unpacking all of that baggage. It’s not realistic to think you won’t revisit this baggage from time to time. It’s normal to remember the past and think about good or bad things that happened to us but the idea is to keep from holding on to it so you won’t accumulate anymore baggage or the same baggage and that means don’t let it hold you down or weigh you down or hinder you from moving forward. Also, a great way to move forward is to visualize what you want now and in your future by creating a vision board with pictures and words of things you want in your future, and you can set goals to reach that vision. Here are some examples of vision boards you can check out and get some ideas from  

Have a baggage policy, unpack it monthly and be beautiful! 

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Your Two Personalities, According to Your Zodiac Sign

http://fashion-trendin.com/your-two-personalities-according-to-your-zodiac-sign/

Your Two Personalities, According to Your Zodiac Sign

W

alt Whitman famously wrote that he contained multitudes, and while Whitman was predictably a Gemini, I’ve found this to be true across the board. We may all crave labels and categories — hence our gravitation toward astrology in the first place, I think — but each and every sign offers fertile ground for contradiction. Below, you’ll find (what I believe to be) your sign’s most pressing and prevalent contradiction. Your upbringing, environment and personal experiences will greatly influence which side of the coin you tend to land on, but you probably exhibit aspects of both. We’re all just flesh and stardust, after all — never really created to make perfect sense.

Aries

Confidence

Many Aries natives boast a rare combination: natural leadership skills paired with a genuine desire to lead. Because of this innate ability, you have strong conviction and rarely hesitate to charge ahead with your own ideas. Aries is an ambitious sign that will gladly take initiative. This can sometimes spill over and become overconfidence, leading you to believe that you’re always right.

Insecurity

All fire signs share this duality to some extent, but because of Aries’ social cardinal quality, you can be extra sensitive to your own perceived shortcomings. You are constantly trying to view yourself from outside perspectives. As a natural leader, you want to be respected and admired, and you tend to put undue pressure on yourself to achieve your goals and meet the high bar you’ve set for yourself.

Taurus

Determination

As a Taurus, you have an extraordinary sense of purpose. You put a great deal of thought into your decisions and once they are made, you follow through. No questions asked. This persistence and stubbornness is especially admirable in professional circumstances, but you also make for a devoted friend and partner. You seek consistency and habitual action; you love to see things through and rarely, if ever, quit.

Lethargy

Taurus is also a sign greatly associated with comfort. You crave luxury, the security of materialism. This often means that you’re a hard worker, but it can also mean that you tend to take advantage of luxuries when you have them. You love to pamper yourself and may find it difficult to pull yourself out of an easy routine. If you chill too hard for too long, you fall into a slump.

Gemini

Sociability

Gemini is a highly communicative sign. Many are talkative, expressive and incredibly easy to engage in conversation. Intellectual conversation, in particular, is where a Gemini thrives. You need constant stimulation and you love to learn. For a Gemini, gathering information and learning about others is especially appealing because it helps you learn about yourself.

Solitude

Gemini is also an extremely introspective sign. You may find yourself desiring more personal space than the average person; you love to explore your own self, to think critically and unpack emotions. Many Geminis make great artists — particularly writers and poets — because their inner monologues whir constantly. It’s true that Geminis need constant stimulation, but many will find a good book, an interesting podcast, a provocative movie or any kind of private self-expression equally as fulfilling as a robust discussion.

Cancer

Sensitivity

The classic Cancer sensitivity is usually a little exaggerated in pop culture, but the stereotype is based in some reality. It’s likely that you get easily insulted and are quick to feel attacked, which leads to the perception that you need to be coddled. You have incredible healing and self-protective abilities, so your instinct is to guard your vulnerability; it may take you a long time to open up. When you do develop an intimate relationship, however, you want to be smothered with affection.

Maternal Instincts

While a Cancer will generally enjoy being taken care of, it is second nature for them to care for others. This makes sense, I think, because to be emotionally intelligent and strong for others, you typically need to be emotionally sensitive yourself. Cancers are famously empathetic. You are the best person to talk to and the best shoulder to cry on because you highly value loyalty and understanding.

Leo

Vanity

Leo vainglory is renowned for a reason. This sign is associated with entertainment, performance, expression and presentation; in short, you are probably obsessed with yourself. You go after what you want with ferocity and passion, and you will use any accrued power or influence to stay in power and wield that influence. You have no problem being the center of attention and usually enjoy having all eyes on you. You want to be well liked, but you value your own goals and wellness more than your reputation; you will put yourself first if you feel that someone is trying to water you down or hold you back.

Generosity

Leos gravitate towards the spotlight, but they will also gladly assume the role of caretaker. Leos are fiercely loyal to the people they love and self-sacrifice can become second nature to them. You’ll go out of your way to make life better for those around you, for example, and you love giving presents and showing people affection. Your generosity also extends to people you may not necessarily know, as Leo has an extremely protective nature. You are eager to speak out against injustice, give to those who are lacking and use your influence to better the lives of friends, family, the community or a specific cause.

Virgo

Judgement

Virgos are largely perfectionists, which makes you difficult to impress. You tend to be critical and often rather skeptical (but I’m sure you’d pause here to correct me that you’re actually just realistic). You set high standards for yourself, and you can be very particular about the world around you as well, often making snap judgements about others. You have no patience for those who you perceive as rude, disrespectful, careless or aggressively egotistical. Your need to analyze can sometimes come across as snobbishness and elitism.

Tolerance

Luckily, Virgos are typically mature beyond their years, which allows you to learn how to express your expectations more compassionately. You can easily learn to have a more open mind or to give others a chance after negative first impressions. Virgo is actually an unusually sympathetic sign, which often manifests in soft spots for animals and humble, underappreciated or shy individuals. Above all, you value kindness and humility.

Libra

Diplomacy

Libras are interested in harmony and balance, tending towards a calm and peaceful demeanor. Your communicative nature and ability to carefully weigh perspectives makes you an accomplished mediator. Your charisma and aversion to manipulation makes you a valuable, fair negotiator. You are reasonable, understanding and usually able to make others feel at ease. You crave respect and hate seeming biased.

Tension

Striving for harmony and balance does not necessarily mean that you will find it, especially when it comes to your own inner chaos. You can easily become anxious when confronted with unfairness or unpleasantness. The extremely high value that you place on equality can cause you to feel slighted easily and force you into engaging with tit-for-tat behavior. Your natural aversion to conflict leads you to avoid any sort of disagreement or outward ugliness, which can then lead to passive aggression and sugar-coated hostility. Everyone has opinions. Everyone gets angry sometimes. But you will often refuse to openly express these things.

Scorpio

Self-Sabotage

Scorpio is the sign of extremes and intensity. You are determined, which is admirable — but pushing forward relentlessly with a singular and self-interested goal can lead you to selfishness and insensitivity. You are passionate but also obsessive, which means you can easily spiral, follow destructive paths, become vengeful or engage in manipulative behavior. Toxic relationships and unhealthy habits can be difficult for you to break.

Reinvention

Scorpios have a strong dark side but are constantly seeking the light. Your impressive ability for self-destruction means that you can rise from the ashes unlike anybody else; you have unique potential for self-discovery and transformation. Your determination and passion can be channeled into self-improvement and positive, healthy ambition. You have the ability to move mountains for yourself and your loved ones.

Sagittarius

Lightheartedness

As a general rule, a Sagittarius doesn’t like to take herself too seriously. You’re usually the life of the party due to your easy charisma and knack for humor. You reject dullness on principle and focus on making the most out of life; you love to travel and seek adventure. Sometimes you feel indestructible and free of regular limitations. This infectious optimism makes you an extremely positive presence. You are jovial and talkative with a rosy outlook on most things.

Depth

Sagittarius is also the sign associated with philosophy, religion, ideas, morals, growth, discovery and wisdom. While you probably approach your day-to-day life with a carefree, happy-go-lucky attitude, you are also on a constant quest for deeper truth and knowledge. You hate seeming ignorant and have a genuinely curious nature; you want to get to the root of problems and events, understand life on a more existential scale and understand yourself in an honest way. You also believe in your ability to enact real change, especially by sharing information and raising awareness.

Capricorn

Action

Capricorns are famously independent, self-sufficient and highly capable people. Your sense of commitment is almost unparalleled. You hate giving up on something and do not let things go easily. This often translates into impressive ambition, motivation and resilience. You don’t like to get down on yourself or blame bad luck; instead, you power through unfortunate circumstances and probably draw plenty of admiration in doing so.

Observation

Capricorns do tend towards leadership, but not in a stereotypical way. In fact, you are usually the person pulling the levers behind the scenes. Capricorn is an analytical sign that prefers to be cautious; you find yourself stepping back and observing every angle, preparing for every outcome before committing to a plan of action. You tend to be very suspicious of people upon first meeting them and usually take a while to warm up — you do not expose your vulnerability easily and strive to understand the people around you as fully as possible.

Aquarius

Open-Mindedness

Aquarians are the true humanitarians of the zodiac. They are usually progressive, forward-thinking people who value all people individually and equally. There are notable exceptions, of course, but regardless of politics and beliefs, Aquarians are usually collaborative, curious and dynamic problem-solvers. You hate feeling stagnant, which makes you highly adaptable.

Strong-Willed

Aquarians also tend to be the most opinionated in the zodiac. Once you set your mind on something, once you formulate a comprehensive and informed opinion, it’s nearly impossible to get you to change your mind. You tend to have a strong — yet highly personal — moral compass, so though you strive to be accepting of everyone, you can become judgmental or disapproving. Your stubbornness saturates every aspect of your life. Once you become emotionally attached, you cling to people, places and things.

Pisces

Compassion

Pisces is sometimes viewed as the final stage of evolution in the zodiac (*coughs* Rihanna), which usually means that Pisceans are mature, spiritually developed and suffused with compassion. You are uniquely tuned to emotional cues; your hypersensitivity to feelings and auras makes it easier for you to empathize, and it’s instinctual for you to care deeply for others. You tend to be helpful and nurturing with a talent for reassuring and calming the people around you.

Remove

A Pisces’ emotional maturity does not automatically grant you with emotional availability. It’s easy for you to conceal your own emotions, and you may find it much more difficult to open up to people the way that others open up to you. You are imaginative, idealistic, observant and wary of being taken advantage of — so you can often feel isolated and disconnected, as if on the outside looking in.

Illustrations by Allison Filice.