#a soothing melody for those trying to sleep and millions of little kisses for those still out and about like me

[hearties-circus]

Since everyone is asleep me and my bro had to walk home in the pitch black and rain and lemme tell ya, I could not have enjoyed that more

[a-secondhand-sorrow]

world at your fingers as you comb through your hair

based on Matthias’s POV in Crooked Kingdom when he sees a man helping his wife unpin her hair: "Matthias couldn't name the ache he felt in that moment. He was a soldier. So was Nina. They weren't meant for such domestic scenes. But he'd envied those people and their ease. Their comfortable home, their comfort with each other." (ao3 link is rbed, check the notes!)

In her room at the Van Eck Mansion, Nina can almost forget that she’s ever felt fear.

She stumbles through the threshold when it’s nearing three in the morning, wine-drunk and giddy. Although she hasn’t left Wylan and Jesper’s since early evening, their journey to Ketterdam left her limbs feeling unnaturally heavy. Seeing the Crows was beyond good for her, but Nina is privately relieved at the idea of curling up next to Matthias and sleeping for as long as possible. As tempting as the bed, of the finest quality just as she was used to in the Little Palace, looks to fall right into, she doubts falling asleep fully clothed would be comfortable.

Matthias is somewhere behind her, probably wrapping up his conversation with Wylan and Marya. This dinner was the first time either Nina or Matthias met Wylan’s mother, although their friends all knew her quite well. Her slightly skittish nature in the face of meeting unfamiliar people melted away as the night wore on. The true surprise of the evening came when she latched onto Matthias like a second blond son. For all the confusion nestled in his face, Nina could see the comfort her approval brought him. Matthias held more memories of his family than Nina did, but that didn’t ease the ache of absence. If anything, his scattered recollection only made his worse than Nina’s. She was happy to leave him be for a few more minutes if chatting idly with Marya brought him some peace from the images he could remember of gold-woven hair and Fjerdan lullabies. Still, she can’t wait until he is with her again. She almost scolds herself for being so silly; they’ve spent nearly every moment together since entering Ketterdam, but the wine-soaked part of her is rarely rational. She yearns for him even when they are under the same roof.

As though thinking of him drew him to her as a moth follows a flame, Nina catches sight of shining gold hair in the vanity mirror. She grins at the sight, her heart warming in her chest as Matthias slides up against her back and rests his hands on her shoulders. His hair has grown out, and although she loves all of him, she has to admit his hair is her favorite part of his appearance. It meets his shoulders now, elegantly waving down past his face and ears. She’s filled with sudden sentimentality, probably a pleasant reaction of the reunion and journey and alcohol. Nina is not wired for sentiment and static life, but when her eyes meet Matthias’s in the mirror she can’t imagine moving from this moment.

“Finally tore yourself from the conversation?” she teases, afraid the moment will get too heavy if she doesn’t. His eyes crinkle just the tiniest bit, the icy Fjerdan waters within them calm and still.

“Ms. Hendricks was lovely,” he argues, although her words were not accusatory. His head falls so that his mouth rests mere centimeters away from her scalp, seemingly content to just be near her. Their long day draws out his lilting accent, his syllables heavier than normal.

“She was,” Nina agrees, too tired to be contrary. “I see how Wylan is such a ray of sunshine.” The other part of the Wylan equation goes unspoken; to speak the elder Van Eck’s name would be to ruin the quiet peace they have in his home. She lifts a hand to her ear, making quick work of removing her earrings and holding them in her palm. The earrings patter softly on the vanity as she twists her wrist gracefully to free them before moving to the other ear. “Saints, I’m full. I don’t think I’ve ever had dessert waffles quite as good as the ones here.”

“It does seem like they know what you like,” Matthias replies diplomatically, despite the fact he seemed more than a bit exasperated by the unending enthusiasm of the Van Eck’s servants. His eyes track the fall of the earrings from her hand as though entranced.

She reaches her hands behind her head to undo the clasp of her necklace. His hands move from where they rested on her shoulders to take over the task, and her hands drift back down to her lap. He’s far from nimble, so the necklace pulls away from the back of her neck and tugs lightly at her skin. It will certainly take him longer to undo the clasp than it would take her, but she lets him do it anyway. The necklace is Fabrikator-made, which may be contributing to his difficulty, but she’ll never tell him.

A sliver of a memory pops into her mind. Kaz, a tidy five minutes late to their gathering, limping spryly to where Inej perched on the arm of the sitting room couch. His hand, without gloves for the first time Nina could ever recall seeing, brushing against her cheek as he shared a few quiet words with her. Inej had smiled before melting away just as she always did, leaving Kaz looking winded. She’d caught eyes with Nina right before she disappeared, an acknowledgment she would be back before dinner ended. “Did you see Kaz and Inej at dinner?”

“I will not gossip with you, Nina.”

She juts out her lower lip, trying to catch his eye in the mirror. “Aren’t you curious about those two?”

His gaze doesn’t shift from his task at the nape of her neck, but his eyes untwist at the corners in silent acquiescence. Nina waits with something akin to triumph for him to speak. His Kerch vowels are softer than they had been during the Ice Court job, smoothed and sweetened by Nina’s continued influence. “I do sometimes wonder how she can stand the demjin.”  

Nina snorts, an abrupt and loud sound that nearly pierces the content little bubble of their room. “How can anyone? She’s a better person than either of us, certainly.”

Matthias finally manages to undo the clasp of her necklace, and he slides it from her neck. She shivers as the metal drags away from her skin, Matthias’s breath hot on the back of her head. The chain slides around his fingers as he drops it to the vanity, gold slipping through his pale fingers and pooling to a tiny puddle with a hiss. His attention returns to her at once, and he leans forward again. “Certainly,” he parrots in little more than a whisper.

His lips press to the back of her neck, warm and comforting, before he moves a gentle hand to the pins holding her hair aloft and away from her face. As he works, the gentle tugs on her scalp and the hair falling around her shoulders make her eyes drift shut. She can hear nothing but the mingled sound of their breaths and the tiny clink of pins on wood.

Once her hair is free, Matthias runs a hand through her hair. Nina leans into his touch. He snakes his arms around the front of her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. She raises her hand to hold his, her thumb running over the back of his knuckles. His head falls to rest in the crook of her neck, soft and cushioned and warm. She inhales sharply at first, his cold nose bumped against the beginning of her collarbone catching her by surprise, but she relaxes quickly into the embrace. Her eyes drift shut, lulled by Matthias’s presence.

Nothing could touch them, not then. Not ever again if they managed to stay just like that. She knew they couldn’t; it didn’t run in their blood. They were wired to fight and never stop fighting, much as indulgence called to them. It would be easy to find a ceasefire, with eight million kruge between them and scores of friends willing to partake in laziness. But she knew neither of them could enjoy it. They would always think of those they left behind without helping, the odds that could have been tipped if they didn’t run away. Ice and adrenaline burned through their veins where most sought comfort, making it impossible to rest. No, domestic life was not one for them, but all the same, Nina savored the thought that it could be.

Matthias presses a kiss to her shoulder before tugging away lightly, pushing past the noise of discontentment Nina makes. She doesn’t open her eyes, but she sees the faux-stern look on his face all the same. “Bed,” he says, tugging her in the right direction. “You won’t be happy sleeping sitting at the vanity, my love.”

“If you’re so desperate to get me into your bed you can just ask, Helvar,” she grumbles, but she lets him lead her over without opening her eyes all the same. He falls onto the mattress ahead of her, and she falls into him, letting the impossibly soft bedding cushion their fall. She twines her arms around his chest, resting her head over his heart. She can’t sense heartbeats like she used to, and sometimes it makes moments like this difficult and heavy with loss. But hearing Matthias’s heart, thundering its slow beat beneath his warm skin, soothes her like a familiar melody.

Just as she feels his grip slacken around her waist and his heartbeat slow, she drifts off with the sound of his whispered I love you breaking over her like a gentle wave.

[ficsnroses]

Let It Go III - Keanu Reeves x Reader

This may be read as a stand alone/oneshot. 

However, I recommend you read the first two parts to get the full feel. Find Part 1 &  Part 2 here! I had so much fun writing this story, and I hope you all enjoy reading this conclusion just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please give me feedback if you have a minute! This was the first story I did that wasn’t a oneshot, and I would love to know what I can do to make them better in the future. Thank you! :) *flashbacks are indicated in in text*. 

Word count : 4087

Warnings : Lots of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, symptoms of a mild panic attack.

Requested : No

Summary/Prompt : What do you do when the love of your life is slipping away?

      On the eve of December, Y/N laid solitary in her bed, puffed, tired eyes spewing tears down her fragile cheeks. She reminisced on her life in the past year, and the decisions that lead to her current state.    

      With the beginning of Winter just a few figures away, the days had become increasingly cold and lonely, leaving Y/N in a melancholier state than usual. They had become shorter and darker as well. Sometimes, as she felt the first gust of frosty morning air fill her lungs after the crestfallen night, she swore she took it as relief. The customary feeling of suffocation she constantly felt proved to be only a distraction.

      It had been a little over a year since that miserable night she had endured with Keanu. The night that continued to haunt her till today. She thought time would fix the gaping hole she felt in her heart, however, the situation had proved otherwise. She thought time would only make her feel better, perhaps proving to her that the decision she made for them that night was right. Contrary to her belief however, it seemed like time only fogged her mind with the thought of Keanu more and more as it passed. Every memory, ever part of him seemed to be painted over her mind, like a mural.

_____

      On the other side of the city, Keanu found himself tossing and turning the corners of the bed ceaselessly. He opted to leave the refuge of his bedroom for a midnight smoke. He found himself having a lot of those lately, anything to escape the constant stiffness he felt ever since Y/N left. Running a hand through his long, scruffy hair, he struggled to keep his groggy eyes open. He struggled to find solace in the dark, lonely hours of the night ever since the weight of Y/N’s body had stopped resting beside him in their bed. It had been well over a year, yet the thought of her still managed to leave a physical toll on his heart. A midnight smoke helped relief that tension built up inside of him, only temporarily though. He had stopped thinking it was possible to forget her. He too, had stopped believing time would heal the wounds that disheartening night left on them both.

      Dragging his feet along the tile floors, Keanu breathed a heavy sigh as he passed the kitchen. It was dark in the house, yet he could still see all the different canisters, the block of kitchen knives and various other cooking utensils and gadgets neatly tucked away on the marble counters. Y/N loved to cook. Better yet, she loved to cook for Keanu. She knew how busy he always was, and how before her, he barely got the chance to have a home cooked meal made with love offered to him. She would constantly be searching up recipes, or watching the food network channel to find new delicacies to try out. She often made Keanu feel at home for a lot of other reasons as well. Ever since they had met, Y/N had helped Keanu feel a true sense of belonging. She was his closest form of family, and the last year without her had left him feeling more numb than ever. He found himself reminiscing more than usual lately, and that was just what he did in that moment the moonlit night channeled over the kitchen, leaving his mind drifting to the thought of Y/N once again.

           ~~~~

            “Babe! I told you, it’s 2 leveled scoops of flour, not heaping.” Y/N’s sweet, honey dripped voice spoke softly to Keanu, giggling in the process.

           “What’s the difference..?” Keanu questioned back, brows furrowing together. Y/N had decided she wanted to bake a cake that day, and Keanu offered to help. He loved helping her in the kitchen, it was quality time they got to spend together doing a fun activity. Not to mention, he loved the way she would scrunch up her face when she was reading the recipe and got a little confused, he found it to be the cutest sight he had ever seen.

           “Heaping means a little more than the amount we actually need, silly. You’ll put the entire quantities out of wack and mess up the recipe.” Y/N smiled at him, walking over to place a kiss on his cheek, as she rests her hands on his chest. She loved when he helped her in the kitchen, it reminded her that he wanted to ease her workload and spend time with her. He was always the biggest, softest man. It didn’t matter if the activity was feminine, or girly per say, he would do anything with Y/N as long as it meant he got her all to himself.

        ��  “Well, you should have made that more clear before. Why is this such a complicated process anyway?” he said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. She always smelled like fresh lavender, her rose moisturizer lingering on her skin. It was his favourite scent in the world.

           “I think I did, honey.” Y/N smirked up at him, wiping away flour from Keanu’s cheek with her thumb. He had somehow managed to get flour all over his face, and in his hair as well. Gosh, could he be anymore adorable?

           “You look really pretty today, babe. Not to mention, this floral apron makes you look absolutely adorable.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss into her messy hair, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back.

           Y/N smiled up at him, getting lost in his mahogany eyes, before she pressed a kiss to his broad chest.

~~~~

      Memories like those killed Keanu a little more each time. He often found himself trying his best to not think of them, he knew his already fragile heart could barely take it anymore. He had stopped being able to shed tears anymore. He had blocked himself off from the rest of the world, almost putting up barriers. He knew Y/N was the only person that could make him feel true to himself again, and he knew she wouldn’t be coming back. Pulling a cigarette out of the pack with his teeth, Keanu continued his trek to the dimly lit backyard once again, to indulge in the sweet relief of the tobacco smoke that would soon fill his lungs.

_____

           Y/N hadn’t been able to get a single moment of shut eye tonight either. She hadn’t been getting much relaxing done lately at all actually. The previous year had flown by, and it felt like just yesterday she had walked out of her home with Keanu and never turned back. She had prayed everyday that Keanu would find someone new to hold his heart, someone for him to confide in and share his life with. She still wanted him to be happy and experience all the joys of life. They hadn’t kept in touch, or been speaking since the break up, Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to stay away from him if she heard his voice. His beautiful, almost melodious voice. It was her favourite sound in existence. Even after the year she spent away from him, she could sometimes hear him in her head, like a poem she could recite a million times. Maybe that’s what they say about true love, it never really erases away. A part of it always stays, taking shelter in the depths of everything you do.

           Y/N often had trouble sleeping even when she was still with Keanu. However, long, painful, sleepless nights were even harder to endure when you’re alone. She had come to learn that the hard way. Sitting up on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest, and staring at the empty space vacant beside her on the bed, she frowned. She remembered the way Keanu helped her on nights just like these. He would hold her close all night, whispering, talking to her, sharing stories until she would finally fall asleep. She would do the same for him in a heartbeat. They did those types of things for each other, that’s the kind of love they shared. They always tried to put the other before themselves.

~~~~

           “Why are you slouching, babe?” Keanu questioned as he walked into their bedroom. They were just about to get ready for bed. Y/N was sat on the edge of their bed, tilting her neck sideways while running her hand up and down the sides. The skin on her face was glowing from the moisturizer she had just applied after washing her face. He thought she looked the most beautiful at night, before bed. When she was finally relaxed, in her natural state of calm, and where only he could see and have her all to himself.

           “I had a pretty long day at work today, kinda got a stiff neck and shoulders.” Y/N replied, a slight wince apparent in her voice, as she closed her eyes.

           “Aw baby, why didn’t you call me? Here, lemme help.” Keanu started towards the bed. He propped himself just behind her on the bed, and moved her hair out of the way. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade, he began massaging her shoulders. His fingers worked at the knots, being careful to not hurt her more.

           “Oh my gosh baby, that feels amazing.” Y/N closed her eyes in ecstasy.

           Keanu chuckled, pressing another kiss to the back of her head. He kept massaging her, trying his best to relieve the tension. “How was your day today, other than that? Anything cool happen?” Keanu asked. He always asked about her day, because he genuinely cared and wanted to know. Y/N loved that so much about him. He never did things just out of routine, he did them because he actually wanted to. He invested himself in her, because he actually wanted to.

           “It was fine. Same old same old. Although I did pet a super cute puppy on my lunch break today.” Y/N replied, turning around to face him. “Can you cuddle me right now though? Jenny kept talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend today at work. I missed you a lot.”

           “Did you only miss me because Jenny kept showing off her boyfriend?” Keanu chuckled, opening his arms to allow Y/N in.

           “Of course not.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I always miss you, you big dork.” Y/N laughed, nuzzling her face into his chest, breathing in his scent. Keanu wrapped his large arms tight against her, leaning back on the headboard. He placed a kiss in her hair, before running his hands up and down her back soothingly. “I always miss you too, love.” He whispered.

~~~~

           Y/N hadn’t realized how heavy her tears had started falling after that memory surfaced her mind. Memories of Keanu would often come to her this way, creeping up and ultimately shadowing a gloom of heartache over her. Physical heart ache. The pain had got so much recently, Y/N almost didn’t know what to do with herself, how to escape the constant overshadow of her life with Keanu. Burying her face in her hands, Y/N cried her heart out in that moment. Perhaps, the hardest she’d cried in the last year.

           “What the fuck am I doing?” Y/N questioned herself, sighing. Her tear stained eyes were starting to burn. “I love him so much. I love him so fucking much. What the fuck am I fucking doing?” she cried to herself, almost gasping for air. Her hands started to shake, and she felt like pulling all her luscious locks out of her head. She had managed to repress these feelings, but tonight, it was as if all the forces were against her. She didn’t think she could do it any longer.

           With trembling fingers, she grabbed a hold of her phone, immediately scrolling to Keanu’s contact in her phone. She hadn’t deleted his number, or their text conversation. She hadn’t opened it in the last year they’d spent apart, she didn’t think she would be able to read it. It would have hurt too much. She also couldn’t bring herself to delete it, she didn’t want to delete any part of him from anything she had. As much as she had told herself she needed to, for his own good, she never truly wanted to let go of any part of him. No matter how much she lied to herself that she had to. Her eyes glossed over their last conversation, dating back to November of the previous year.

           “On my way home now, babe. See you in 20.” – Keanu

           “Ugh, I had the WORST day. Hurry home so we can watch the next episode of Black Mirror :)” – Y/N

           “How about I pick up some take out on my way home?” - Keanu

           “Please! Feel free to bring a few bars of kit kats as well….” – Y/N

           “Got it. See you soon darling.” - Keanu

           “See ya.  Love you.” – Y/N

           “Love you more, honey.” – Keanu

      Staring at their convo made her heart ache even more. She hovered her finger over the “call” button, unable to hold back any longer. She dialed, but quickly shut it off after the first ring. She needed to see him. A phone call wouldn’t suffice. She didn’t care if it was past midnight, she needed to see him now. Grabbing a sweatshirt off the hamper beside her bed, she tugged it over her head swiftly as she paced out of her bedroom. 

_____

      On her drive over to the house she used to share with Keanu, her phone rang twice with missed calls from Keanu. He had obviously started to worry about why she gave him a missed call in the middle of the night, after so long. He sent her a text as well.

           “Hey Y/N, everything okay?” – Keanu

           She only drove faster as her eyes hovered over the screen.

      As she parked her car in the familiar drive way, she got out and paced herself towards the front door. She felt a bit silly, but she knew she needed to do this right then and there. It had dawned upon her, that she had been keeping them apart from each other for all this time hoping it would be the best for them. But she realized it was wrong. She was miserable without him, he was miserable without her. He had been trying to tell her that for months now, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too stubborn. They needed each other, no matter how hard their relationship got at times. But maybe that was the beauty of it, maybe that’s what kept their bond so strong. She couldn’t be without him, and he couldn’t be without her. It was just the way it was.

      She felt her entire body get tense as she walked up the pavement. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t know anymore. She thought she did the right thing when she left that day, but time had obviously proved her wrong. She felt as if she couldn’t trust her judgment anymore regardless. Over anything else, she cursed herself for making Keanu go through all this pain. The image of him crying, begging her to stay, his red, tear stained eyes pleading flashed in her mind. She felt a tear roll down her cheek just at the thought of all the hurt she caused him. She would possibly curse herself every single day if things didn’t work out today. If he had moved on, and didn’t feel the same anymore.

      Taking a deep breath, she rang the door bell, hugging herself as her mind raced, the arctic cold December air engulfing her figure, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Before she could contemplate any further, a tired Keanu opened the door, taken by surprise at the sight of Y/N at the door. His Y/N.

      “Y/N, oh my gosh, you’re here, is everything okay?” he questioned, taken back. He moved to the side. “Come in, please.”

      “Hey.” Y/N sighed. She could smell a mixture of cigarette smoke, with a hint of wood, maybe a tinge of sage radiating off him. It felt so familiar, yet she felt slightly out of place, as if she had suddenly intruded. She quickly glanced around, the house was exactly how she left it. The pictures of them were still hanging on the walls.

      Keanu shut the door, and stared at Y/N with worried eyes. “Are you okay, Y/N?” he was about to touch her arm, but caught himself. He didn’t want to invade her personal space. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

      “Yeah. I guess. I uh, I don’t know, Ke. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” She replied, looking down at her feet, hesitant to say more.

      “Hey hey, that’s alright. You don’t need to tell me anything right away. You wanna sit down? Here, I’ll grab you a cup of mint tea, your favourite.” Keanu said, compassionately. He was visibly worried about what brought her to him so unexpectedly. She felt her heart twist in her chest. He still cared for her just as much as he did for the 7 long years they spent, in love with each other. They still were in love with each other.

      “No, its okay.” She grabbed at his arm, stopping him. She retracted as she realized that may have been slightly inappropriate, considering the circumstances.

Keanu gestured to the couch, inviting her to sit with him.

           They sat in silence for a few moments, Y/N not sure how to start speaking. Keanu understood, he wanted to give her all the space and time she needed. Suddenly, Y/N chuckled a little, her sad eyes forming crinkles on the edges.

           “Gosh…I feel like such an idiot. Such a stupid idiot.” She shook her head, looking down.

           “Hey…don’t say that. What’s on your mind, love?” Keanu questioned, being patient and understanding. His hand hovered over hers, when she didn’t move her hand away, Keanu took it as an okay to hold her hand.

           It felt good to hold her hand in his once again. It had been so long, but it felt so natural. So right.

           “Ke I…I think..” she trailed off, searching for the right words, staring out the window. “I think I made the wrong choice. I think I was trying do what was right for the both of us. I really wanted you to be happy. I really did. But…I realized, I don’t think I..” she stopped speaking as her voice cracked. Keanu grabbed both her hands now. He almost couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. It felt too good to be true.

           “Keanu, I don’t know if I’m over stepping. I don’t know if I’ve fucked this up beyond repair. I just know, this past year hasn’t felt right. I don’t even know if I’m making sense.” She finally looked up into his eyes. He started to form a gloss over his pupils.

    ��      Keanu chuckled, looking down at their hands holding each other. He hadn’t felt that happy in over a year, since the last time they were happy. Together.

           “I wish we hadn’t lost that year…” Keanu said lowly, almost above a whisper.

           “I wish we hadn’t either. I’m so sorry.” She replied, connecting their eyes once again. They both stared at each other for a moment, taking in each others each and every detail, each bump, each crevice. They both felt their hearts swell with happiness. They were finally home.

           Keanu ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, pulling her closer. He stared at her lips. “May I?” he asked permission. He wanted to be completely sure she was okay with this.

           Y/N nodded her head, smiling, tears pooling her eyes. She moved forward, as he wrapped his arms around her tight. He couldn’t believe she was there, in his arms. He didn’t think he would ever get the chance to be so close to her once again. Finally, their lips connected for the first time in what felt like forever. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, tears streaming down her face.

           “I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.” She started.

           “Hey, no. Don’t you dare Y/N. We’re gonna put all this behind us, okay? I don’t wanna waste another second being away from you. You have no idea how lost I felt without you, baby.” He spoke, as he connected his forehead against hers. Y/N moved her hand to rest on his cheek as she closed her eyes.

           “I felt so lost without you too, Ke. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever needed. I don’t think I can ever stop loving you.” She replied.

           “I won’t ever stop loving you either Y/N. You’re everything to me, my whole world. I never thought I could imagine my life without you, and this past year only proved that.” Keanu began to press soft kisses all over her face. One on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, on her jaw. He couldn’t help himself.

           Y/N smiled, running her hands through his hair. She nodded, agreeing with his every word. She felt like pouring her heart out to him, she wanted him to know just how much she loved him, and always would. No force strong enough could break what they had.

           Keanu brought her hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Tears were streaming down his face now as well. “Y/N, baby..” he started, as he shifted to kneel down in front of her. “I don’t want us to have to go through anything like this ever again. I felt so…trapped without you.” He grasped her hands tighter in his now. He started her right in the eyes, so she knew how sincere he was being.

           “Y/N, you are my everything. I promise, I’ll try to better myself every single day for you. I promise I’ll be the best version of myself, because you make me wanna be that way. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you happy, to love you, cherish you and treat you as the gem you are. I don’t want to see a future without you in it, I don’t even wanna think of building a home without you. I want to grow old with you, and I want to start my family with you. I owe you my everything, Y/N. Gosh, I love you so much.” He took her hand, and placed it on his chest, just above his heart.

           “Every part of me belongs to you, Y/N. And it always will. I don’t want to waste another minute away from you.” He said, never breaking eye contact. Y/N nodded her head, smiling at him adoringly.

           “Baby,” Keanu looked down quickly, gathering the strength to continue his sentence. “I know, this isn’t what you must have dreamed of, but I don’t think I can wait any longer. We owe this to ourselves. I know this isn’t traditional…” Keanu took a big breath, and exhaled. He locked eyes with her once again. “I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my entire life. You are my biggest achievement, what I’m most proud of.”

           He softly brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, and gripped it tighter now.

          “Y/N, will you do me the absolute honor of marrying me?” he asked, hopefully. “I’m not perfect in any way, but I promise I won’t ever let another tear stream down your face attributed by me.” Keanu leaned up to kiss a tear away from her cheek, soft as a feather. The moonlight channeling over the room only made his features look dreamier. “Unless, it’s a tear of joy.”

           Y/N’s eyes widened, filling with even more tears.

           “I don’t have a ring right now baby, but I promise I will put the biggest, most beautiful diamond ring on your finger. If you’ll have me, of course.”

            Y/N smiled bigger than she ever had before. She couldn’t believe it, it was as if all the pieces fell perfectly into place right in that moment.

           “Yes. Yes a million times.” She nodded frantically.

           Keanu smiled huge as well, closing his eyes letting a tear stream down his cheek. He moved her ring finger to his lips and pressed a soft, delicate kiss to where the ring would rest.

           Y/N pulled him in closer by the neck, and connected her lips to his. That kiss they shared may have been the most love filled kiss they ever shared, filled with all the hopefulness, all the passion they held for the future. All the gratefulness they felt to be brought back together once again. Always and forever.

           “I love you. With everything I have. I will keep saying it to you each and every day of my entire life.” Keanu mumbled, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

           “And I will say it right back, each and every day, for the rest of my life. I promise, nothing can keep me away from you ever again.” She replied, holding him close, refusing, to let him go.

fin.

[hail-langdvn]

3:24 A.M.

Summary: There’s something about singing at the top of your lungs while baking in the middle of the night

Warnings: old!michael, fem!reader, maybe like one “fuck” lmfao, fluff!, timeline is definitely off but idcidc

Word Count: 1.1k

note: im the biggest sucker for some michael fluff  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Music always felt more magical at 3 o’clock in the morning, but it feel even better with Michael by her side with it was pouring outside. Normally they’d sleep before midnight, which in bed would be just as relaxing and comforting. Then again, they were in bed by then and Michael was asleep, however (Y/N) was restless and had the urge to bake cookies. So, she jabbed her elbow into his abdomen, earning a tired groan of pain. Of course, it wasn’t something completely out of the blue. In the entirety of their relationship, (Y/N) suffered from sleep issues, nothing too crazy or diagnosed, she just preferred being awake at ungodly hours and threw her schedule off every time Michael finally regulates it. Nevertheless, Michael followed her down the stairs, through the study, into their kitchen.

(Y/N) turned on the radio and set it to her favorite station. To Michael it was just some oldies station that played the same corny songs all the time, but he learned to appreciate them. She would always say how the put her at ease and soothed her soul from relentless badgering and for that, Michael grew grateful.

“Don’t worry, honey bear,” she leans over the island, kissing Michael’s forehead. He was clearly exhausted and desperately needed to get some shut-eye. “When our family gets bigger, I won’t bother you to stay up with me. I’ll just bother the kids.”

Michael shook his head and smiled. His love could never bother him, despite the hours she tended to wake him up and urge him to go downstairs with her to satisfy her craving for her sweets at four in the morning. “You get used to it after a while, bunny.” He replied, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

Afterward, his (still very weary) eyes watched her swift movements as she gathered all the ingredients for her cookies. That’s what he loved about her    she hated to use store bought cookie dough. (Y/N) thought it didn’t capture the true essence of freshly baked cookies. Michael couldn’t taste the differences, but for (Y/N)    he could.

“Can you get the butter and preheat the oven for me, bubby?” He hums a yes, grabbing the stick butter and not the container. Michael only remembered from the time she spent half an hour emphasizing the difference and how difficult it would be to try and measure how much butter to use in her cookies    even if she said that you have to feel it to know how much to use.

Patiently, Michael waited for her to be done with dough itself. Usually they rolled the dough into balls together while he listened to her hum along to the beat of the song that broadcasted at the moment. Sometime during that, Michael would eat some cookie dough, earning a slap on the hand from (Y/N).

“Michael! It has raw eggs in it.” She would scold, not wanting him to get an upset stomach.

“(Y/N), I am a grown man. Literally the Antichrist.” Michael would remind her, but she wouldn’t listen. She would still go on with her scolding.

“I don’t care if you were Satan himself, salmonella sucks and who’s going to be taking care of you? Me.” He opened his mouth to throw another argument, but of course the missus had some more to say. “And, even if the chance are slim, there wouldn’t be any if you just listen.”

Amusement played on his lips. “You care too much about the little things, bunny.”

“If we focus too much on the big things, who else would focus on ‘em?” Her question rhetorical.

(Y/N) slides the tray full of cookie dough into the oven and sets the timer. It was then when she realized “Sweet Caroline,” by Neil Diamond filled her kitchen. By nature, she swayed her hips to the melody.

“Was in the spring,” she sang, doing a clumsy twirl. Her fuzzy socks made it harder to keep balance on the slippery floor, but it didn’t stop her. “Then spring became a summer.” During the next line, she slides into Michael who watched the whole scene with a gleam in his eyes. He heard the song probably a million times and only barely knew the chorus, but that was because of (Y/N) who freaked when they sat in her car one late night on the way home from the grocery store for a late night run.

“Michael, how do you not know the lyrics to Sweet Caroline?” So much shock filled her voice. It was automatic american bonding culture to know that song, literally. It was how she met her best friend, Nate.

“I just don’t, doll.” He shrugged so nonchalantly. It drove her mad!

“Guess what we’re learning all tonight, just for the next spontaneous time this song plays?”

And those plans didn’t falter. It was two years go when (Y/N) and him stayed up all night looping the song until he at least had the chorus, also the beginning of their relationship. Michael felt like his head was going to pop that night, but if it meant so much to her, then why not learn it to satisfy her odd pet peeve of him not knowing it?

“Hands!” (Y/N) sings, grabbing ahold of her smirking boyfriend. “Touching- Michael c’mon!” She goofily shakes the man’s arms, who still stood there limp. He just wanted to watch her enjoy the song for the five-hundredth time. Was that such a crime.

Nevertheless, she carried on as if she didn’t miss a beat. “Reaching out, touching me, touching you!” (Y/N) dragged out the ‘you’ just like how the song was supposed to be sung. In almost an instant, Michael’s whole insouciant demeanor changed and he thought    Why the fuck not?

“Sweet Caroline!” They sang in unison, swaying around the white tiled-floor. “Ba! Baa! Baaa!” Michael could only find a feeling like this with (Y/N). Only she could make him look so foolish in the middle of their kitchen at 3:24 A.M. without a care in the world.

“Good times never seems so-” In the midst of their dancing, (Y/N)’s fuzzy socks failed her and she falls to the floor, but not without Michael tumbling with her.

“Ow.” She moans with her infectious laugh, rolling over on to Michael, who was laughing himself.

(Y/N) straddled him, laughing into his neck. Moments like these made Michael’s heart full. How fortunate was he to have someone so patient and caring, but at the same time so goofy and clumsy? For a minute, they felt like a normal couple who wasn’t planning the apocalypse. And if every night could be this relaxing and without the weight of his father’s will, Michael would swap it out in a heartbeat.

[bi-writes]

types of kisses — tom holland

not my gif

category: one-shot warnings: fluff, language, slight nsfw masterlist

a collection of requests—all the kisses you desire, the kisses you deserve, the kisses you need

the spider-man kiss

Clear skies and sunshine had long been abandoned, where an ivory light and precious navy and violet took its place. Once orange and yellow became fading lavenders of indigo and blue, of night and cold weather, of stars and long shadows.

It was you, laying comfortably on the worn carpet rug, your eyes struggling to keep you awake as you watched a movie. He sat a level above you on the couch, his own eyes drifting in and out. He laid on his back, one arm hanging off and occasionally grazing your back. 

When the noise of the television died down, you rolled over to look up at him. Messy curls fell over his forehead in the most lovely way. At the sound of your movement, his eyes opened a bit wider, and a teasing smile grew on him. You smiled, too, because you were drunk on sleep and on the husky chuckle that escaped. 

He moved so his head was hanging off the couch, too, and he swallowed as the blood began to rush to his head. You sat up on your elbow, meeting his eyes as his smile only made a more prominent appearance. 

You leaned forward, letting the dark shadows cover you as you met his mouth. Your free hand came up to cup his cheek, tilting your head as both of you bit each other’s lips in a teasing manner. The kiss was lazy and soft, wet and wonderful, and you let out the softest whimper when he used his position to better suck at your bottom lip, just the way you liked.

You leaned back as he sat up again, a goofy grin playing along his lips. You saw the stars in his eyes as you whispered, “Take me to bed, superhero.”

the comfortable kiss

The smell of fresh linen and soap was intoxicating. You reached into the washing machine, pulling out the darks and tossing them into the dryer. You hummed to a song stuck in your head, a sweet melody that made the room dance with you.

You sucked in a tight breath, gentle hands circling around the bareness of your waist. You didn’t stop breathing out the tune, but your voice was starting to shake as those gentle hands squeezed your skin with a sweet fervor. 

You spun around, forced to lean into the washing machine as you met his dark eyes. He was amused, you could tell, his smile as mischievous as the glint in his gaze. You bit your lip at the sight, sighing as his fingers crawled up your back and held your neck lovingly. He guided your mouth to his, his eyes fluttering shut as soon as your lips met his.

You let out a breath through your nose. His mouth was moving slow with yours. As much as you tried to kiss him deeper and harder, he managed to dominate the pace, keeping the kisses slow and lovely. You whined a little at the feeling, desperate for more. He chuckled at this, tipping your head back as he pulled away.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes glazing over with a love as he stared at you in a golden sunlight. You cupped his cheeks as you met his eyes again, giggling.

“So are you.”

the good-bye kiss

There were lots of voices around you, but you heard none of them. Your hand was sweaty in his, shaking almost as you tried to compose yourself. You bit your lip as he let go of you, his hands now on his duffel bag. 

You reached for his arm again, and he offered you a sorrowful smile.

“Think I could fit you in this bag, darling?”

“Don’t tempt me, Tom.”

He laughed at this, shaking his head. He looked away from you for a moment, staring at the escalator that would take him onto the trip of a lifetime. The moment was as bittersweet as it could get; his career was in front of him, but your lovely figure would stay behind. 

You breathed out a sigh, shaking your head as you kissed his cheek slow. 

“Get out of here before I never let you leave,” you tried to laugh, but it only came out nervous and shaky and disappointed. Tom turned his eyes back to you, licking his lips.

“Give me a kiss,” he said, and you did. You kissed him sweetly, pulling away when you felt yourself leaning in for more. Tom shook his head at this. 

“What?” You wondered, frowning. Tom reached up to hold your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over your face. He chuckled a little, his eyes on your mouth. 

“Give me something to remember,” he whispered. You leaned forward slow, your tongue just barely graving his lips before you encased him in a hot kiss. Tom whimpered almost immediately, responding by holding your face closer and tighter. He squeezed your cheek almost, the kiss becoming wet as your tongue grazed his bottom lip again.

You reached up and slid your fingers into his curls, scratching his scalp as you tilted your head to kiss him further, longer, wetter. Tom let you guide his head in the other direction, his throat tightening as you finally let your tongue graze his mouth briefly. You pulled away slowly, a wetness and warmth that left Tom almost speechless.

“That was one hell-of-a kiss, love,” he panted, swallowing hard. You laid your forehead against his, smiling to yourself.

“You said to give you something to remember,” you said matter-of-factly.

“Fuck, I said to give me something to remember, not something to make me stay.”

the hello kiss

The sweetest sound you heard all day was when his keys hit the kitchen counter. You turned your head from the coffee machine, the tiredness in your eyes seemingly gone in a matter of a few seconds. 

You heard his bag hit the floor as you rounded the corner. Tom was bent on one knee, his laugh colorful as he rubbed his dog’s ears. Her legs were bouncing excitedly, her tail happy as she turned in circles in front of him. Tom heard you suck in a breath, and he looked up quickly.

You made your way towards him, and he stood up just as you stopped in front of him. You noticed the fatigue that overtook him, the hours of sitting on a plane evident under his eyes and in his expression and in his posture. One look at you was more than enough to bring him awake, however.

You smiled then, afraid to touch him almost. It had been so long since you had felt his warmth, and you weren’t sure if such a moment was real.

“Am I dreaming?” You wondered aloud. Tom laughed, shaking his head. His fingers ached with the desire to touch you, but he wanted you to make the first move. You reached up finally, your arms around his neck as you hugged him close. At the feeling, Tom lifted you into his arms, your legs around his torso as you breathed in his scent. He was still so familiar, so comfortable, so homely. 

You pulled away from his neck, looking for his eyes as he set you down onto the kitchen counter. You kept him close, your legs crossed behind his back as you hummed in delight. 

“Did you miss me?” You asked, breaking into a confident grin. Tom nodded his head, his eyes on yours as you brushed his hair out of his face.

“Video calls do you no justice, darling,” he said softly. “This is how I want you.”

“Without makeup, in my pajamas?” 

“Right next to me,” he corrected you, chuckling. “Right in front of me.”

You pulled him into a kiss almost immediately. He didn’t have time to suck in a breath, but there was nothing that was going to pull him away from you now. You were addicting, even when you looked so casual and lazy and tired. You were surreal in every light, and kissing you was bringing him back a million memories. You were sweet in the past, but every kiss you gave him was sweeter than the last.

Tom’s hands were loving as they held your waist. They squeezed you every time you whispered your love, felt warmer as you held a slow pace, were careful as you caressed every part of him in your appreciative affection. 

“It’s so good to be home,” he whispered, his breath fanning the skin of your nose. You smiled, your eyes still closed as you held him. “So good to be home to you.”

the needy kiss

It was getting more difficult to figure out why you were so beautiful the longer you were together. As soon as you emerged from your shared bedroom, Tom shifted in his seat on the couch. You were glowing in something new, looking absolutely delicious.

You seemed oblivious to his change in demeanor, but Tom knew you were playing with him when you turned to your phone to fix your lipstick. Looking at your reflection as you moved the smooth formula over your lips, pouting at yourself to fit the color over your mouth perfectly, Tom knew you were teasing him. 

“You look...e-exceptional, darling,” he managed to stutter. He rubbed his palms over his thighs, trying to rid himself of their clamminess. You put your makeup away, smiling teasingly at him as you made your way over to his position on the couch. Tom swallowed hard as you spun in front of him.

“Actually, I couldn’t zip up the back any more. Can you do it for me, Tom?” You asked. Tom stood up slowly, swearing under his breath when he noticed what you wearing underneath. Beautiful lace, expensive material, soft skin, an irresistible smile. You were making it difficult to stand still.

Tom reached over, his fingertips tickling your spine as he dragged his touch down to your zipper. He stepped closer to you as he pulled the lever up slowly, letting his hand graze your skin as he fit you into your outfit. 

“Fuck, what are you doing to me?” Tom whispered huskily. You didn’t speak as he stopped zipping, instead dipping his hand between the fabric and you to hold onto your waist. You moved your head to look at him from behind, and his lips were on yours before you could say anything. 

The kiss was desperate almost. His pace was fast, his pressure deep. He turned you in his grasp to kiss you better, longer, hotter. His breath was burning with desire, his touch wandering. Tom was wondering why it had taken him so long to love you the way you deserved to be loved.

“I can’t believe you’re mine,” he groaned, his fingers toying with the lace of your undergarments. You laughed a little, your body relaxed as he played with every part of you, his kisses growing feverish. “I cannot believe you’re mine.”

the jealous kiss

“You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you, Tom.”

“That upsets me, darling.”

“Hmm? Why?”

“Because everyone else knows you’re beautiful, too.”

You laughed, but your smile faded when you realized he was serious. The way he pulled you closer, the fiery touch he had on your back, the tension he held in his shoulders—he was being increasingly overprotective. 

It didn’t take a village to know when you had eyes on you. You could feel them on your back, burning in your side, stinging your senses. Every time you turned away from one set of eyes, you found another, and another, and then another. Your attention was elsewhere as you met them.

Tom reached over, delicate fingers under your chin as he turned you to face him. He licked his lips at the sight of you, sighing as his eyes took in your features. You were so alluring under this light, you really were, and he pulled you closer so your chest was against his. You placed your hands on his chest, smiling a little as he stared at the loveliness of your lips before him.

“You’re so pretty, baby,” he whispered, his hand sliding up from your waist to cup your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut at his touch, your lips parting involuntarily. Tom made sure to look up at any wandering eyes before he leaned forward, taking you into him for a warm kiss.

Your hands slid up his chest, around his neck. Tom tilted his head as his eyes closed, minding the rising rate of his beating heart. He was shuddering almost, completely overwhelmed by the idea that you were his. The whole room had noticed you, but it was him that got to kiss you like this, and his insides were clenching at the most wonderful thought. Nobody else would ever have the satisfaction of loving you like this. How fucking incredible was that?

He leaned towards you further, taking your bottom lip between his teeth as he dragged a few fingers down your waist. You whined a little at the feeling, closing your arms around his neck tighter. Tom chuckled a little at the sound, his tongue barely grazing your lips before he pulled away slow. When he opened his eyes to look at you, your eyes were lidded and droopy, drunk on his kiss. You were licking your lips, and the sight was unbearable.

“Tommy, you’re a tease,” you giggled, your fingers finding their way through the ends of his hair. Tom nodded his head towards the door, taking your hand as he bent over, his breath warm against the shell of your ear. Every husky echo of his voice made you shiver.

“Mmm, let’s get the hell outta here, yeah?”

neck kisses

“C’mere,” he patted his thighs, a playful smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes as you put your damp hair behind your shoulders. As soon as you had emerged from the shower, Tom had been eager for you to watch a film with him. You would’ve protested, but Tom’s lap was indeed a comfortable place to rest.

You put one arm around Tom’s shoulders before falling into his lap. You sat up, his curls ticking your chin, as you motioned for him to play the movie he so desperately needed you to see. As soon as the opening credits rolled out, however, he was kissing your cheek.

It started slow. Soft, dainty butterfly kisses that dragged from your temple to your cheek to the base of your jaw. You sunk into his arms with every brush of his lips, with every chuckle. It wasn’t long before Tom had tightened his grip around you. It was when his lips met your neck, however, that you began to let out breathy sounds of utter bliss.

Tom licked his lips before kissing down your jaw. The wet surface of his mouth trailed across your throat, breathy and long as he heard the hitching of your voice. He took his time now, his teeth just barely grazing over the supple skin. You reached up, your hand in his hair, scratching at his scalp as he began to better suck at the space beneath your chin. 

“Jesus, Tom, w-what about...the movie?” 

“Mmm, all the entertainment I want is right here, darling.”

the starlight kiss

You switched the light off, falling onto your side as you tucked yourself into bed. You faced the window, the glow from the night sky the only illumination in the room. Your eyes were just fluttering shut when you felt a cool hand sliding over your bare waist, almost tickling you as they turned you over.

You let out an annoyed sigh as Tom faced you. He was smiling with heavy eyelids. The bedside clock beside him read 2:33 am. You were just falling asleep again when he brought his hand up, taking your face into his palm before pulling you forward to kiss you.

You barely registered the kiss at first. He was warm and comfortable, and his touch at first was almost too light. After a few moments, he leaned in further, and you could feel the loving pressure on you. You smiled a little before shifting your weight. You let the kiss consume your senses. There was nothing else besides here and now, between soft sheets and in an alabaster glow. It was a memory you might never forget.

You let Tom bring you closer. Your legs tangled between each other, your hands gripping at any part of him you could. It was his bare chest then his neck, pulling at his hair then caressing his face. His fingers were running down your stomach and over your waist, down your back then squeezing your thighs. He dragged your leg up and over his hip, securing you against him before he let his urges take over. 

It was gentle whispers of, “I love you,” and, “so beautiful.” It was letting out, “I missed this,” between breaths and, “God,” when your eyes fluttered open for just a moment. You were sinking into this tired, comfortable darkness of longing, and your heart was swooning even in your weary state. 

When you pulled away to breathe in deep breaths, all you could see were the stars in his eyes, and you couldn’t help but lean in for more. 

the sunday kiss

The sunlight crept through the curtains, casting a glare over your sleepy form. You let out a sigh as your eyes peeked open at the morning sun, almost scolding you for staying in bed for so long. You were about to fall back asleep, but suddenly you were yanked backwards by an annoyed force. You huffed as the warm blankets covering you were pulled away from you.

“Tom! Dammit, don’t hog the sheets!” 

You sat up on your elbows, turning your head to glare at him. Tom was still in a drunken state of sleep, letting out a childish wine as he cocooned himself in the fabric. You let out a groan, reaching over with one hand and pulling at the sheets by his neck. 

“You’re so selfish, I swear,” you muttered, forcing Tom to let go of the bedding. His eyes peeked open just enough to scowl at you. You stuck your tongue out as you pulled the covers over yourself, sighing in relief at the familiar coziness. “And good morning to you, too, by the way.”

Tom just blew through his tongue, his curls in every direction as he taunted at you in every immature way he could think of. You turned your back to him, shutting your eyes again to try and enjoy the last few minutes of the lazy morning, but Tom had his arms around you almost immediately. You let out a breath as he kissed the exposed skin of your shoulder, pulling you flush against his front as his eyes were open enough to admire your morning beauty.

“Good morning, pretty girl,” he said softly. His voice was raspy and low, but still fell like honey in your ears. You peeked over your shoulder, biting your lip when you noticed how handsome he looked in the golden sunlight. His eyes were so lovely, you could melt, and you wanted to picture him like this forever.

You laid on your back as Tom was on his side, propped up on one elbow. He looked down at you lovingly as you brought him closer to kiss you. The tension you didn’t know you had in your body sunk right into the mattress. You went almost limp against his touch. Tom noticed this, smiling to himself. His curls were tickling your forehead as you let your tongue barely swipe across the top of his lip.

“So cheeky this morning, baby,” he chuckled. You sighed in satisfaction as he held your waist, rubbing a thumb across the bare skin as he let your tongue slowly explore his mouth. You wet every part of him in a gentle motion, and you moaned a little when his hands began to massage your lower stomach, moving down lower as the kiss intensified. 

“Tom, please,” you whispered, pulling at his hair as his fingers toyed with the hem of your shorts. He chuckled a little, his eyes alight with playfulness and his lips curved into the most wonderful smile. He laughed when you pouted, his fingers still dragging delicately over your hot skin. He leaned forward to kiss you again, shaking his head as he closed his eyes.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, yeah?”

You held his face in your hands, asked the world how you ended up with someone so wonderful.

“What did I do to deserve you, hmm?”

taglist: @positivethoughtsforever @queensholland @wtfholland @mammamiaboi @shawn-of-the-times @stephie-senpai@gwenstacysmom @thollandtrash @jesuischlv @the-claire-bitch-project

[this-ginger-has-no-soul]

Sing me to sleep

(A/N): I was feeling sad so I wrote some Bucky fluff to cheer myself up.... 

Summary: Bucky can only fall asleep when (Y/N) is singing to him. 

 Warnings: none

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018, @holland-toms, @superwholockian309, @fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah

    It had started out when (Y/N) had started singing on a mission to calm their nerves. They were out in the middle of nowhere, out in the open, giving anyone the perfect opportunity to sneak up on them during the night. Everyone's anxiety was high, especially (Y/N)'s, to the point they had began to gnaw on their nails, biting them down into nubs but they could only do that for so long before their fingertips began to hurt. Then they gnawed on their lips, taking good chunks of skin off as they dragged their bottom lip through their teeth. But not even that sufficed their nerves so they resorted to fidgeting and constantly looking around their miserable little camp in fear. 

   "(Y/N)," Steve grumbled from his sad sleeping bag. "Stop, no one’s gonna ambush us out here," 

   "but what if-"

    "no what it's, now get some sleep god knows you need it-" But no matter how valiantly they tried to ward off their anxiety they simply couldn't do it. So they took up the last measure in their book; singing softly to themself. It had always been a comfort for them (something they weren’t happy to admit) but drastic times called for drastic measures. 

   "Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City-" (Y/N)'s voice quietly filled the silent night air, slowly but surely lulling everyone into a much more relaxed sleep.

    Their voice was so soft and so sweet that it was impossible not to immediately melt- something Bucky himself was struggling with. He blinked sleepily as (Y/N ) continued to sing, gently tapping on their thigh in time with the music. 

    "I'm a thousand miles away but girl Tonight you look so pretty yes you do, Times Square don't shine as bright as you," Bucky allowed his head to rest against the tree behind him, his eyes finally slipping shut as he listened to (Y/N) intently.

    (Y/N) sang through the entire song, their eyes closed as they desperately willed themselves to rest and by the end of the song their last resort seemed to work as they slipped to sleep, even if it was a rather fitful one. That's when Bucky's little predicament had started; the one where he positively couldn't sleep unless (Y/N) was singing or humming to him. 

    That night had to Have been the best night of rest Bucky had had in ages even if it was on some terrible Forest floor surrounded by all Of his teammates. Even with all of his medication, the special aroma therapy Bruce wanted Bucky to try, even with all the pre-bed meditation and tea, even with the nicest mattress anyone could find It still wouldn't compare to falling asleep listening to (Y/N)'s voice.

     It had been the day the team returned from the mission, sore and thoroughly wiped out. Everyone was practically falling asleep as they walked through the doors- well, everyone but Bucky. Even despite his exhaustion he didn't lag like everyone else, he didn't drag his feet or yawn every 30 seconds, he simply wasn't holding himself to the level of exhaustion that everyone else was. So when everyone branched off to bed and Bucky was left in his dark, cold room it was no surprise he couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, tried yoga and sleeping pills, he quite honestly tried everything but then suddenly there was a quiet voice in the room besides his, the soft voice from just a few days prior.

    "There is a house in New Orleans they call the rising sun," Bucky listened intently a he lay comfortably on his back, pulling the blankets up over his chin as the voice sweeper through the thinner walls. "And it's been the ruin of many a good boy and god I know I'm one-" The voice stops suddenly, coming to a close much to Bucky distaste.

    "Hey, I was listening to that, put it back," Bucky smirked as he knocked on his wall, knowing (Y/N)'s bed was positioned directly on the other side, aligning with his.

    There was silence for a few minutes, a spine tingling silence in which Bucky thought that perhaps something had happened to (Y/N) and that's why they stopped so suddenly or maybe he had scared them off with his commentary? But just as Bucky began to doubt himself the voice began again.

    "My mother was a tailor, she sewed my new blue jeans. My father was a gambling man, down in New Orleans," Bucky smiles sleepily as he nuzzles into his pillow, allowing his eyes to slip shut as (Y/N)'s pleasant voice was ringing through his ears. "Now the only thing a gambler needs is a suitcase and a trunk-" (Y/N)'s voice got quieter with each word, slowly becoming part of the background as Bucky finally fell asleep. 

    From then on out it had become a sort of routine for the two, Bucky would lay on one side of the wall and (Y/N) on the other while the latter sang songs to Bucky, any number or style of them. Sometimes it'd be 1 song or other times it's be 15, sometimes it'd be contemporary and other times it would be classic rock. Either way it was gorgeous and how Bucky couldn't sleep without it.

    Their little game of beat around the bush blasted months until one night (Y/N) suddenly walked into Bucky's room, took a seat on his bed and began to sing. That night Bucky had curled up in (Y/N)'s sweet embrace as they sang to him, soft sweet melodies that eased his worried nerves. That night Bucky also figured out there was another thing he couldn't physically sleep without; (Y/N) themself. So now here he was; nearly a year and half later with his head in (Y/N)'s lap as they sang sweet songs to him.

    "He's got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain, I'd hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain," (Y/N)'s fingers glide through Bucky's hair, only making the soldier that much sleepier. "His hair reminds of warm safe place where as a child I'd hide and wait for thunder and the rain to quietly pass me by, oh, oh, sweet child of mine," (Y/N) smiles at Bucky as he nuzzles into their stomach, smiling sleepily to himself. "Oh, sweet love of mine." (Y/N) concludes their little preview quietly, their voice barely above a whisper as they finish. 

   "Can you sing me one more?" Bucky asks just as quietly if not more due to the fact he had buried his face in (Y/N)'s clothes and stomach.

    "I've already sang to you all of the classic rock songs I've been able to- to 'lullabize',"

    "please?" Bucky's voice was sleepy, it was evident that he was on his way out- perhaps he really did just need one more song. So with a tired albeit happy smile (Y/N) begins another song. 

   "Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better," Bucky smiles as (Y/N) sings to him; a song they had sung a million times but it was still his favorite. "Remember to let her into your heart then you can start to make it better," Bucky begins to drift off to the sound of (Y/N)'s voice, each note soothing him into a restful sleep. He was so at peace he didn't realize (Y/N) had even finished their song until they had leaned down, pressed a gentle kiss to Bucky's nose, and pulled the covers up over his body. 

    "Goodnight my dear," Is the last thing Bucky remembered hearing before he fell fast asleep, nestled in (Y/N)'s safe and warm embrace.