#a tru kween

[spacehostilityy]

Part 2 of my NNT rewatch !! ep 7-12

In the midst of 1000 training videos for my job, I am rewarding myself with episodes, let's fucking goooo

My thots under the cut :)

I totally forgot abt Ban's angst ridden guilt arc. "Real, genuine sins can never be atoned for..."😒😔 whatever you say beautiful

Literally one of the coolest shots in the whole show

Also I want you all to know I am a little dumb and do not screenshot any of these pics... I take pictures with my phone from my laptop of TV and crop them🤡

Anyway i love Guila so fucking much what a little psycho

Ban's literal special ability just being stealing is really funny actually

Ban/Elaine/King arc ouchie

Elizabeth constantly talks about becoming useful and yet it still takes her 3 seasons to develop abilities and become useful in battle 😃 its good, kween, u were just subject to unfortunate writing choices😔

Fr tho chapter 0!Elizabeth would never

King straight up stabbing through Ban to get to Guila is so fucjing funny actually

Like hello 😭😭??

"What is that on you face? It's... not half bad actually🤔" HELBRAM AJSKKALFLD

Also the one time the perv joke was actually funny is this specific screen cap in which Meliodas describes his bond with Elizabeth, his lover he has died for and becomes the demon for as a "grope and get grope kind [of relationship]" while opening his shirt and placing Elizabeth's hand on his chest. Like yes king, have ur immortal lover touch ur bewbs

I'm in love with Howzer, he's so girlfail

King and Ban snuggling against King's will is so yes

If demon blood can turn holy knights into the new generation, does that mean that Meliodas's blood could do that?

Vaizel fight fest one of my all time favorite arcs it's just so comfy🥰🥰

EUEHEHEHEHE wtf is that laugh😭😭

Diane as Matrona is so badass I love her !! Seeing her demolish dozens of men she's literally so babygirl

"Hey where'd you get that jacket?" AKDLSLLF

*howzer putting dots together* " Nahh, you two guys got totally different names😝 my mistake🤣" God he's stupid I love him

"It looks like we fooled him" " because he's dumb"

Griamore is supposedly 7 ft tall and 400lbs. Ban is 6'11 and 170 lbs... make it make sense

Even meliodas doesn't weigh enough lol

Diane is h*rny. Good for her.

King vs Cain top 10 nnt fights for sure. The only one that could beat it would be king vs the cat in which king loses

I love Ban's facial hair growing, it's such a small detail that I enjoy. Like so tru, he HAS been locked up with no way to shave for years. He WOULD look crazy

Meliodas calling him Undead Ban😭😭😭

I love the gymnast!Meliodas posts bc they are so canon. What a flexible little guy

Meliodas activating his demon mark literally just to beat his best friend is actually so real

My most controversial seven deadly sins opinion? I like diane x howzer more than I like kiane🫣

I feel like they cursed a lot more in the first season, more like they do in the manga

Meliodas going as demon as he can with sealed powers will always be one of my all time fave scenes he's so fucking cool I love demon characters

They really needed to do more with spell beads bc like where did those go?? What are they??

And that's the end of episode 12 !! See yall next time for 13-18 !

[classickpop-archive]

[lainelannister]

“It was like if all the action of Richard III culminated in Richard leaving the battlefield, eating some fish that didn’t agree with him, and dying in the night.“

-Jezebel on Cersei Lannister’s oh-so-shitty show!verse death

[chitowngirl-12-blog]

OMG How did I miss this Jonerys One

So I blocked this annoying one a week ago but I just logged on without my password and here it is another hate message!!

Are you saying that Dany is the EU and the northerners wanting independent self-rule is Brexit, and that GRRM disapproves of even though writing it as a focal plot point through all five books? Are you saying that the EU forces countries to unify under them through threat of nuclear attacks?ASKED BY ANONYMOUS

Hello BGBB or should I say chitowngirl-12,

Pumpkin, there are other people who disagree with you.  We aren’t one person.  I’m generally not interested in discussing things with teen girls unless they continue to trash me then whatever.  I’ve got over a decade on you, pumpkin.

Sweetheart, I’m very concerned with the fact that you’re still having such a hard time understanding what GRRM is saying. I don’t find what he said particularly hard to understand but you seem to not be able to wrap you head around it. 

Like how unity doesn’t mean totalitarian rule by a platinum blonde.  Like there are things called elections?  Did you register to vote?  Like you can do that!  And vote and stuff!  Although it probably isn’t the best idea for you to do that.  Ill-informed people should probably not vote.

Because I’m feeling super generous today. I’m going to break it down for you and hopefully you’ll finally get it.

OMG  A 19-year-old is going to lecture me on the EU.  I actually took a graduate class on the EU for my MBA so I guess I know nothing about it.

What GRRM is telling us here is that his general view, his global view of the world if you will, s that throughout history it’s been shown that we as a society, which ever society that exist in any particular time period throughout history, do better when we join together than we do when we are separated, because separation has eventually lead to war in most instances. This is GRRM’s historical perspective of the world history and what improves the human condition. I hope this makes sense to you.

Yes, like the EU!  Which is a supposedly democratic organization of nation states.  Nothing to do with Daenerys being queen.

Here GRRM is letting us know what his hope for humanity is as whole. He’s also telling us that this belief was inspired by the science fiction novels he read growing up. In these novels humanity, as a whole, banded together and that made them better as a people, as a species. It’s an idealistic view, he knows that, but he wants us to know what his ideal is.

Still not seeing how this has anything to do with Daenerys being queen.

Okay, now that we’ve clarified what sections B and C mean we can address section A. Here’s the quote:

(A) I think Brexit was a mistake.

Based on sections B and C we know what GRRM’s world views are, he believes in the idea of one united world, all of us together as one people. Because he believes this, thus he sees Brexit as a mistake because it goes against what he feels is the best model for our society.

Great, but how does Daenerys being queen factor into this.

You see BGBB, section A does not inform section B and C, it’s the other way around.

Again why does Daenerys get to be queen even if you agree with Martin?

Now, that this has been established we can all see that your ask is nonsensical because that’s not what we were addressing back in the comment section of @jackoshadows post: http://jackoshadows.tumblr.com/post/179071064214/once-again-for-the-people-in-the-back-ie

Not me asking it and you didn’t actually answer why unity means Daenerys gets to be queen.

What we were trying to get at was that the idea of Northern Independence seems incongruent with GRRM’s world view (please refer back to sections B and C).

Even if you agree with that, why would Daenerys be queen again?  Do you really not understand that there are elections?  Perhaps there is a pseudo-parliament of some sort?  You apparently don’t understand how the EU operates but whatever.

As we’ve already established he believes that a unified society does better than a split one. Therefore, is it not more likely that, based on his world views, that a unified Westeros would be ideal and a preferred outcome to having a divided Westeros.

Awesome.  So we should have strong alliances like the EU while maintaining sovereignty.  And still be democratic!

I hope that I’ve been able to clear this up for you. I know it’s a complex subject but if you really think about it, it makes a lot of sense.

Not really.  You spouted off lots of gibberish.  I’m still not sure why you believe what you do.

But still neat to know there is only one anti in Jonerys world.  As the ONLY anti, I do so much work oppressing them.

[randomnameless]

I saw you make a comment on another post about Dorothea having lines but you think it doesn't improve her much. And yikes I can't help but agree. Dorothea is just awful in this game. Her sadness at the war came across as legit genuine in 3H. Here in Nopes it comes across as self righteous hypocrisy since there's no SS counterpart but only CF+ and CF 2.0. Even in AG she keeps bitching about how much she misses Edie and how war bad, even tho she is fine with it in SB apparently?! Dorothea, shut up

Daw,

To be fair, even in FE16 I found Doro...

well, kind of annoying bordering on irritating.

Her Church Sus comments are really the worst, like wtf is her "is it part of the church's teachings to teach us how to kill people", girl, you didn't join a monastery, you joined as a student of the Officer's Academy - a Military academy.

In a world where Kostases, Giant Beasts and Giant Worms are legion.

Idk, it's like someone joining Totsuki in Food Wars and complaing about having to cook??

I've also developped in the Nobles BaD post how Nobles are expected to have and perform certain duties, like, protecting their people. Doro refuses to consider this, and refuses to move a iota from her initial "nobles bad", even if... she is trying to end up with one of them to secure a good future.

And let's be clear, Doro being a sex worker or hating nobles but feeling like she has no other choice than ending up as a doll to have a future in Adrestia is fascinating, just like how she apparently hates herself.

The only support where this angle of hers is alluded to is in her Sylvain support - but seeing how Sylvain develops and exists in Nopes, I can't really see him end up on the long term with "Why the Goddess forces us to fight??" Doro, especially since Sylvain has real solutions he wants to try to stop the seemingly eternal conflict with people from Sreng.

(instead of blaming the Goddess).

Doro also has the dubious honor of being the only member of the BE to go "uwu don't want to kill Eddie" in SS, when everyone now knows about Flamey and their associates, Merceus being bombed and - say, Doro worries about the Opera Troupe in Enbarr, but apparently not because the Emperor might put them to the sword, no, she just worries about them for ~ reasons ~ and really regrets having to fight Eddie, when Caspar (i seriously love the dude when he's not a member of the bullshit eagle sus force) tells everyone in his very simple words "she got it coming".

Doro is moved to tears when Leopold offers his life in exchange of his soldier's - but apparently not when Leopold trounced randoms, and did very intelligent things as the Minister of War, nope.

Worst Doro moment for me is the "maybe we can keep the damages to the noble disctric of the city" which is... idk, as bigoted as saying an entire race of people has to die because their blood ruins the society.

First because it's especially icky to say this when her friends are nobles, and their families are still most likely living in those suburbs, Second because Dorothea more than anyone else know Nobles employ a lot of people, and if those areas are destroyed, one Ludwig might die, but 50 "Dorothea's mom" could also die.

Honestly, Doro should have been a Tru Piss exclusive character, refusing to consider other POVs (no Doro, Ingrid has a type, and it's not you), always blaming others Supreme Leader designed as the ones responsible for the war, not giving a frick about anyone who isn't in her immediate entourage, her "we killed Ferdie :'( " rings so hollow and empty (which is why fact she helped orphans is just jarring - if Doro helped those people who lost everything because of Supreme Leader, why the reluctance at having to fight her?).

IMO, Doro and Hubert are part of Edel's court, along with Monica. They are just here to make people feel bad/good for Supreme Leader. She could have been much more than the "sassy one liner kween" we got - for the only commoner POV we have in Adrestia, we have just "me me me church bad nobles bad me me nobles bad me me church bad".

She could have been better if she really sticked to one gun, like, idk, questionning nobles and what is their duty after Remire, something like

"They pretend to protect the people and yet the Church has to shelter those people! What are the Nobles in Enbarr doing?"

And if a Supreme Leader support is reached, maybe she could add

"Maybe this will change once Eddie becomes the Emperor..."

During the Ball maybe we could have a Doro reflect on her blindness and life in Adrestia

"They really throwing up a ball for everyone here! I even heard children from the monastery will attend to the festivities. I wonder would my life have been different if I had been sheltered by a church? ... Never mind me professor, Adrestia doesn't even have a church."

[jonstarks]

Jon & Sansa in: We interrupt this brooding program, brought to you by Tyrion “dany is the one tru kween” Lannister

Bonus:

[marinette-sue]

WHERE was Bluebaby in the finale?!?

I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! I did a skim through the poorly-written and lackluster finale of what’s probably the worst season of Miraculous that I totally didn’t remember because of how shitty it was, and WHY in the everloving HELL was there no BLUE-HAIRED, MAGICAL Lukanette CHILD in their SCENES in the s3 ENDING?!?!??!

Get it RIGHT show!! No mention of bluebaby and her TWIN in the FINAL two episodes. The WHOLE SHOW and ESPECIALLY THE THIRD SEASON is ALL about the TRU LUV the KWEEN and her chosen CONSORT have with each other and their MAGICAL babies; but THEY HAVEN’T EVEN MENTIONED BLUEBERRY YET. Instead, they choose to put focus on THE STUPID CATSUIT WEARING TEENAGE RAPIST ADRIANA AGGRESSIVE who is absolutely NOT the RIGHTFUL PARTNER of KWEELEESI MARINETTE rather than focusing on our PRECIOUS VIPER GUITARIST & HARPIST LUKA COUFFAINE!

Now, I am OFF to go WRITE some FANFICTION because the SHOW absolutely DIDN’T get it RIGHT!!

Note: This is salting on a post where a Lukanette stan predicted Marinette and Luka having a baby in the s3 finale. Like... wow. That’s something else lmao.

[heartofstanding]

I realized that if Anne of Brittany were more popular in histfic (At least Anglophone, idk about French) she'd often be treated as halfway between Mary de Bohun and Anne of Bohemia-- just there to have babies and bad at it :(

I’m... not sure she would? Like the main issue with Mary and Anne isn’t that they’re just not ~cool enough~ to be the Historical Fiction Heroine or get their own novel (the few times Anne is a major protagonist, she shares with the “cooler” Isabelle de Valois). Whereas I imagine it’d be hard for a histfic author not to make Anne of Brittany the star of her own novel which mean she’d get twisted and flattened into the Historical Fiction Heroine model and it’d be gross in another way altogether. IDK, I don’t know anything about Anne of Brittany.

But historical women seem to either have not enough babies (i.e. they have none and thus are letting down the whole dynasty) or too many (and thus are stupid mindless tragic wombs who must be pitied but never sympathised with). Or they’re lucky enough that a chosen histfic author has decided that their marriage was Tru Wuv and therefore they had just the right amount of babies no matter the number. 

But don’t dwell on the kids, they make her an unsexy mother and not a Beautiful Badass Cool Girl Kween.

[janiedean]

weren't there also all these posts about how the botb was only won because of sans/a SO she should be kween instead of j/on and so he's a sexist cuz he STOLE it from her blah blah and then they'll throw in book quotes for no reason like if you're analyzing the book then there's a huge hance s won't be anywhere near the north when the battle for winterfell happens, not to mention that the current northern lords who are planning on rebelling against boltons are doing it for "ned's little girl" 1/3

~ which is ARYA. well jeyne actually, but they think it's arya, so does jon. the show made it look like it's SANS/A who convinces j/on to fight boltons for winterfell and then her plan which wins it back but j/on took off when ramsay sent him the letter. BEFORE he even died. the show took liberties to take pretty much everyone's plot and make it about S and when it DIDN'T end up being about her they blamed jon for it?? it was NEVER about S dnd just changed parts of the story and ofc the whole san/sa is running wfell she is the Tru Kween when they were v clearly dumbing down EVERY OTHER CHARACTER PRESENT to make her look smart. OBVIOUSLY jon who was managing the nw,tyrion who was a v good hand in acok to kl;bran who was managing wfell in robb's absence know NOTHING of ruling. only S learnt it -- from littlefinger and cers/ei the Greatest Rulers Ever (they should learn the diff between politics and ruling). sorry for the long rant im tired of S stans demonizing EVERYONE as it suits them. robb was Evil in s2-3/book 2-3 because he wanted to legitimize jon which meant sa/nsa can't inherit, he was Evil because he didn't trade jaime for a and s, when even arya, a 9 yr old knows why he couldnt. theon in s5. jon in s6. arya in s7 was the ugly girl jealous of her sister. ofc when s8 reduced her to san/sa's sword they didn't mind since it was in service to her. ugh.

haha no need to apologize anon I mean it’s not like you’re wrong XDDD that said yes there was the whole ‘jon needed to cede to s/nsa bc she obviously was smarter than him and she had the title he didn’t’ when kitn is AN ELECTIVE ROLE BUT OKAY, and don’t you tell me how much I hated the jeynep swap and the fact that they erased the fact that jon pseudo broke his vows for arya sdlkjglks and believe me I’ll hate them forever for having turned s/nsa into ‘better version of cersei and lf’s lovechild’ WHEN THAT’S NOT WHAT SHE’S ABOUT IN THE BOOKS AT ALL because they had to do the fake feminist empowering storyline by giving her theon’s storyline and fucking him over fdlkgjksdlj but yeah like as much as I do love s/nsa to pieces in the book this fandom attitude of making it as if everything revolves around s/nsa is just... I mean, there’s a reason why I’m sticking to the san/san content and ignoring everything else X°D that said don’t worry your rant is pretty much how things went no one is faulting you for it XDD

also sorry but nothing is ever more ooc than sansa shutting edmure up god

[ao3feed-iwaoi]

Three hours, Thirty-Eight minutes

Read this masterpiece on AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HisxzW

by pearliegrimm

Not every family was a mother, a father, their two children and a white picket fence.

Sometimes it was a college drop out, his orphaned nephew, his disgraced room mate and a very confused Iwaizumi Hajime. It really depended.

Words: 1162, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Haikyuu!!

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Iwaizumi Hajime, Oikawa Tooru, Takeru (Haikyuu!!), Kuroo Tetsurou, Sugawara Koushi

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Additional Tags: im back on my bullshit, Alternate Universe - College/University, im still broken knowing that iwa and oiks arent going to the same school, Family Dynamics, but like very odd family dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, im sorry toorus sister im sure you were a tru kween

read it on AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HisxzW

[piecesintoplaces]

Isfj?

DING DING DING im a defender ladies me? beyonce? the queen of england? kate middleton? only tru kweens can understand the isfj lifestyle

[yourmomjake]

Hel suggests #2

everytime you burn/roast someone or did something sassy...end it with a walk out, because das wat a tru kween doez *walks out*

[chitowngirl-12-blog]

Jonsa fans are all 10...

kit-tastik said: I’m sorry I honestly thought about adding my comment about that cuz I loved the way you put it and also cuz I hate when someone takes only one piece of the story and twists it just to meet his/her tastes…but then I read some comments from people that were against what you wrote and I honestly hope, no.. PRAY, that they are some younglings (let’s say 10 -14 y/o?) Cuz otherwise I can’t understand how someone could twist some scenes like here in some hateful comments…

At least according to kit-tastik.  So dear Sansa and Jon fans, think about what you are doing when you don’t give the one tru kween her tiara.  You must all be 10.

[fae-fucker]

Crown of Midnight: Chapter 3-4

Chapter 3

Nothing fucking happens. Sardines has a nightmare about Cain and later she and Nehemia talk about the rebellion and the king’s plans without really saying anything, and my hatred for that fucking dog just keeps growing. Observe.

Fleetfoot took off through the pale grass like a bolt of golden lightning 

[...]

Dorian had never said what breed, exactly, he suspected her mother had mated with. Given Fleetfoot’s size, it could have been a wolfhound. Or an actual wolf.

Are you telling me this fucking dog is a fucking golden wolf?

I will eat this spaghetti-lookin’ bitch.

Nehemia’s creamy brown face paled slightly.

Why does the word “creamy” upset me so much in this?

Nehemia wants Sardines to try to figure out what the king is planning, but Sardines is like “nah”. 

She wasn’t even sure if she truly wanted to know what the king was up to—let alone share that information with anyone else. It was selfish, and stupid, perhaps, but she couldn’t forget the warning the king had given the day he crowned her Champion: if she stepped out of line, if she betrayed him, he’d kill Chaol. And then Nehemia, and then the princess’s family. 

But then, literally the next sentence:

And all of this—every death she faked, every lie she told—put them at risk.

Sardines: Hmm. Finding out the king’s sinister plans and telling my allies about them is a bad idea -- even though said allies desperately need that information -- because that might put them at risk, but saving various noblemen for no reason and put my unknowing allies in danger just so I can keep the moral high ground makes total and absolute sense!

What a master schemer this idiot is, huh? 

WHAT A KWEEN. 

People say they love Sardines but hate Alien and I frankly don’t get it. Sardines has always been a dumb, selfish twat, that will clearly never change. 

Celaena swallowed hard. That word—“act”—scared her more than she’d like to admit.

Good self-burn there, buddy.

Chapter 4

Salad (which is my new nickname for Chaol) and Sardines are having a jog.

They’d bundled up as best they could without weighing themselves down—mostly just layers of shirts and gloves— but even with sweat running down his body, Chaol was freezing.

Layers of gloves? What the fuck?

Noticing his stare, she flashed him a grin, those stunning turquoise eyes full of light.

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

Salad angst about how he killed Cain. He’s very sad about it. This is what you get for hiring an inexperienced twenty-something to be the captain of the guard. But if we don’t make him young it’ll be icky for Sardines to fuck him, and if we don’t make him captain then he’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH for Sardines, ain’t that right, Sarah?

I’d say you’re being transparent but you’re already pretty white. 

He was the Captain of the Guard—he was bound to have killed someone at some point. He’d already seen and done enough in the name of the king; he’d fought men, hurt them.

SJM: Hey guys I’m clearly aware that this is dumb but if I acknowledge it’s dumb you’ll accept it, right?

No.

Salad asks Sardines if she ever thinks about the people she’s killed, and since she’s the most ruthless and epic and badass assassin the world has ever known, ever, she angsts on about how she never forgets anyone she kills. 

I don’t give a single shit.

Salad angst about how he desperately wants to nestle his dick between Sardines’ pearly white and hairless asscheeks, but can’t because uuuuhhh angst angst loyalty to the king and also Dorian wants to do her and he doesn’t want to betray his friend.

Whatever. I don’t give a damn. Unlike many other antis, I don’t consider Chaol to be a good character and I couldn’t give less of a shit about his problems. 

Listen. You guys only think he’s good because everyone else is pretty much terrible. You cling to him because his mediocrity looks impressive when compared to the literal ass-garbage that is the rest of the lineup. 

We jump POV back to Sardines. 

And what’s this? GIRL HATE? FOR ME?! IN CHAPTER FOUR?! 

Christmas Yulemas has come early this year.

Since Salad is all sweaty from their jog and his shirt clings to his HOT MUSCLED MALE MANLY MASCULINE VIRILE MAN-BOD, there are DUMB VAPID BITCHES there to check him out.

Celaena could have sworn their eyes had bulged out of their heads and their tongues had rolled onto the ground. 

Then the next morning, they’d appeared along the path again—wearing even nicer dresses. The day after that, more girls showed up. And then several more. And now every direct route from the game park to the castle had at least one set of young women patrolling, waiting for him to walk by. 

“Oh, please,” Celaena hissed as they passed two women, who looked up from their fur muffs to bat their eyelashes at him. They must have awoken before dawn to be dressed so finely.

You see, when Sardines ogles Salad or Doriass, that’s okay because uuuuuuuuh Sarah loves her little baby girl and she can’t do no wrong and also she feels TRU WUV (even though her TRU WUV is made irrelevant with the arrival of Ratty to the point where every other love was just useless before that I guess) when she checks those boys out.

THESE GIRLS DRESS NICELY!! TO IMPRESS MEN!! WHILE ALSO CHECKING THEM OUT!! 

THEY’RE VAPID DUMB BITCHES!! EVEN THOUGH THE ONLY WAY FOR WOMEN TO GET POWER IN THIS SOCIETY IS THROUGH MEN!! LOOK AT THEM AND LAUGH!! SO PATHETIC!! 

Cool cool. 

God, I hate this series so much. 

Salad offers Sardines to help her with her Archer-related business and she turns him down. 

Hey Salad, aren’t you, like, I dunno, the captain of the guard? Don’t you have STUFF TO DO?! 

Sorry, I forgot that this world and its characters all revolve around Sardines and her problems. How silly of me.

They come across Doriass who is walking around with his cousin Roland, who I’m sure is totally chill. 

His voice was pleasant enough, but something in it made her pause. It wasn’t amusement or arrogance or anger … She couldn’t put her finger on it.

[...]

Just the way he spoke told her enough about his history with women.

[...]

As she let Chaol lead her inside the castle, she realized she was in desperate need of a bath. But it had nothing to do with her sweaty clothes, and everything to do with the oily grin and roaming eyes of Roland Havilliard.

Yeah, I’m sure this guy is totally cool!

We all know that SJM can clearly write very nuanced characters and that this incredibly obvious and cliché character introduction is just here to mislead us and make us think that Roland is a gross douchebag only so Kween Sarah can prove us wrong and develop his character into someone truly heroic! 

Anyway, turns out that Roland is the “lord” of some place called Meah, which doesn’t tell me anything, but whatever. He’s been offered a position on the king’s council, which is suspicious, apparently, because Roland is more interested in getting his dick wet rather than politicking. This is framed as disgusting, even though that’s pretty much exactly what Doriass is. It’s not the first nor the last time SJM makes hypocritical exceptions for her faves.

Doriass introduces Sardines as Lillian. 

They still used her alias whenever she couldn’t avoid running into members of the court, though most everyone knew to some degree that she was not in the palace for administrative nonsense or politics.

So the official story is that a petty jewelry thief became the king’s champion, then?

Holy shit, this world is filled with morons. 

I also love how “administrative nonsense” and “politics” are looked down upon, but when Sardines does her BRILLIANT MIND GAMES, it’s not politics, it’s uuuuh ... Fuck man, I can’t even begin to imagine how SJM’s mind works.

Roland hits on Sardines, and her two daddies really don’t like that.

Chaol smiled—if you could call it that. It was more a flash of teeth.

Have you considered that I don’t care and that this clarification doesn’t matter?

She wouldn’t mind working with him—but not in the way Roland meant. Her way would include a dagger, a shovel, and an unmarked grave.

Actually, her way would include a corpse, a staged murder scene, and the hope that he stays hidden and nobody recognizes him for who he is. 

Eat my entire ass, Sarah.

We switch to Doriass’ POV.

Chaol positively hated Roland, and whenever he came up in conversation, it was usually accompanied by phrases like “conniving wretch” and “sniveling, spoiled ass.”

So Sardines and Doriass, respectively, though “conniving” might be overstating it.

Roland was a pain in the ass, and too aware of the effect his looks and his Havilliard name had on women, but he was harmless. Wasn’t he? 

Dorian didn’t know the answer—and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

SJM: Subtlety? I don’t know her.

We switch back to Sardines’ POV.

Her salary as King’s Champion was considerable, and Celaena spent every last copper of it. Shoes, hats, tunics, dresses, jewelry, weapons, baubles for her hair, and books. Books and books and books.

Books? She likes reading? How relatable? You like reading too, don’t you, young female reader who is the target demographic for this book? Don’t you feel connected to Sardines on a deep, meaningful level? 

You see, when other women dress nice, they’re whores and idiots and brainless. When Sardines does it, she’s just embracing her femininity! 

Ain’t that right, White Feminism?

Whatever. Doriass is there in her room/s when she returns, which she doesn’t approve of.

“Aren’t friends allowed to visit each other more than once a day?” 

She stared down at him. Being friends with Dorian wasn’t something she was certain she could actually do.

Seems like SJM has been taking writing lessons from Cakeass. 

Didn’t you spend an entire book angsting about how you couldn’t be friends with Doriass and then deciding that you would rather stay friends than be lovers? And now you’re back on square one? Are we really doing this again?

I’m so tired.

“And you have so much time on your hands these days that you can spend hours with me again?” 

“Well, I have my usual flock of ladies to attend to, but I can always make time for you.”

Dorian is written as a player, but whenever we see him interact with women who are not Sardines, he’s shitty and hateful towards them. But it’s okay though, right? Because those dumb sluts are worthless and stupid, not amazing and brilliant like Sardines! It’s okay that Dorian clearly doesn’t respect any other woman aside from Sardines (and presumably Nehemia, since SJM has bestowed her godly blessing upon her for now), because those other women are simply not worthy of any respect! 

And obviously, even though Dorian clearly wants Sardines but plays around with other women, that’s totally fine! Women checking out men though? That’s disgusting.

SARAH J MAAS IS A FEMANAST KWAAAN!

Doriass makes it clear he still wants to tap that, but Sardines tells him to fuck off.

Alone in the foyer, Celaena clenched and unclenched her fists, suddenly disgusted with all of the pretty packages on the table.

Eat my entire ass.

[bitchfromtheseventhhell]

@theoldgods replied to your text post

jesus i saw this url come up and was like WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH WHY AM I FOLLOWING THEM and actually almost reflexively unfollowed lmfao

u kno what? if ur not here for the 1 tru kween of westeros you can stAY OUT.

[bisansastarks]

also!!!!!!! she refuses to help save the world unless she gets her way first and the north kneels to her????? and that makes her look terrible and selfish and not like good queen material?????? but later jon is like "thanks for saving me after you put me in danger in the first place sending me on a pointless suicide mission, u deserve 2 b the one tru kween and you're purdy i luv u let's fuq" ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????? ???????

Something is not right with these leaks I’m telling you. 

Bc at the end of the day: JON IS THE PRINCE WHO IS PROMISED. HE’S THE HERO. Are we really gonna butcher our heroes character for Khaleesi? I mean I get that’s she’s a cash cow for HBO but????