#aaand she had just gotten a set of bard dice only for this character

[grapejuicegay]

I’m starting to think maybe we’re not very good at dnd... things that happened today:

Wasted two whole sessions on a shopping trip (because we get sidetracked and there are 10+ of us including npcs), spent another hour today going to buy drugs for our party + 2 recurring guest pcs

Finally got our new ship and headed off on our new quest - the day before we get there, the two warlocks prank my cleric into doing the drugs. my cleric fails the con save and spends the first day in this new place with 1 level of exhaustion

Our new wizard actively and openly hates my cleric, mostly because our gods hate each other

We shipwreck and completely our new vorpal vessel on this desolate island where we’re cut off from communication through a series of terrible rolls that leads to our wizard destroying the vorpal crystal

two of our players are missing, in game we don’t know where they went when our ship crashed

We’re on this island searching for a dangerous criminal who does blood magic experiments and may have created demiplane hopping vampires

We encounter a construct powered by unstable magic that manipulates time around us to stop us from even being able to move a lot

We left our life cleric npc with the ship to help with the repairs + search for the missing pcs

We end up with 6 people down and our bard permanently dead

While my grave cleric scrambles to get people back up, the unstable magic core of the construct explodes, permanently killing our warlock of phulgobin

this is the 3rd time our warlock is dying. the last 2 times phulgobin brought him back. out of character, we assumed it would happen again

nope. phulgobin takes the wheel.

My cleric tries to revivify the bard while the others try to get phulgobin away.

This is the first time I’ve had to use revivify. Our DM ritual casts it. I went in with the assumption it’s touch.

Guest pc cleric dies

warlock is dead and has been taken over by his patron who is trying to absorb and assimilate everything. this is not yet his final form

i go down trying to revivify our bard

one of our barbarians saves me, but we have to go down a path deeper into the structure we were in, while everyone else escaped the other side to the outside 

our sorcerer tries to fireball the phulgobin entity

burns guest pc cleric to a crisp

he had accidentally fallen into an abyssal portal a while back and accidentally made a deal with orcus. we don’t know what happened to his soul

our bard is dead. our butler - who we had also made a deal with all the way back in phandalin - comes and collects our bard’s soul. we do not know this because we never bothered to check what he wanted in return for being “one hell of a butler”

our warlock is dead. his soul has now been split in half between phulgobin and our butler

we have now released phulgobin on the world

my cleric fails two saves and our barbarian brings her back by activating a curse she was given a few sessions back - the stigmata of suffering - that lets her take on other people’s injuries. we don’t know the full extent of this yet.

my cleric (at 1 hp) and our barbarian are now stuck inside this structure built into a mountain where we are pretty sure further ahead are more encounters and on the other side is potentially phulgobin.

because we have such a big party, we usually leave most of our npcs behind, taking only one or two with us. we have to at some point make our way back to them and tell them who all died. the ncps we’d have to tell:

the other warlock, sort of a father figure, and was very close to him

12 year old tiefling who is actually the secret daughter of an abyssal lord that we are supposed to be protecting her from. dangerously strong, has anger issues the warlock was trying to figure out how to help her control. she thinks you make friends by fighting them, her and the warlock used to fight more regularly. incredibly attached

lawful good cleric

fighter who has trauma about being the sole survivor of shipwrecks before

at least we leveled up