#and we had just convinced the bard not to kill her character

[nimthirielrinon]

I need to talk about Gale’s insecurities. For all his noted overconfidence, this is a man whose entire self-worth is based on his prowess with magic.

He was a “gifted” kid whose abilities started out well advanced for his age, just to begin with. He very much thinks of himself as annoying, which you learn in the Durge playthrough after the dead bard incident, when he says that if being annoying we’re reason enough to kill someone, he’d “be dead 1000 times over!”.

If you romance him and convince him not to take the Crown after the second romance scene in Act 3, he mentions how he’s used to being seen as over-confident and even self-deluded regarding his abilities, which I think would only make him posture even harder as a defence mechanism.

I think for a long time, his relationship with Mystra was likely something he used as a flex on other wizards who had been cruel or mean to him, based on how he brings it up, when he does.

But what gets me is his utter relief whenever he isn’t rejected by Tav. When he first opens up to you, he has pretty much already prepared himself to be kicked out of the party. He’s even got a plan for when his bomb goes off, to do the least amount of harm he can, and when he says “Even I’ve grown tired of the sound of my own voice” I swear his voice cracks and he sounds like he could cry.

If you romance him, when he tells you he’s in love with you, if you say “I love you too” instead of going straight for a kiss, he’s once again relieved. Despite the fact that you’re there with him and have been romancing him, he still has a doubts that you would return his feelings.

It’s no wonder he made the mistakes he did. This is a man who’s been told his entire life that he’s annoying. Though he’s had other mortal lovers (and we don’t know how those relationship were, only that they clearly ended), he is clearly primed for rejection. And then his ex-girlfriend, the goddess of magic herself, tells him she’ll only forgive his transgression if he kills himself.

Like I said at the top, his precocious talent for the weave is the entire basis of his self-worth, unless and until Tav assured him that he has value beyond his mastery of the Weave. It’s no wonder he felt like he had to “prove” to Mystra that he loved her enough. As long as his self-esteem was based on his magical abilities, he was never going to feel like he was good enough, especially for the goddess who is all magic. He was never going to be able to feel as though he was loving her well enough.

I guess what I’m saying is that his “ambition” and his hubris make so much sense when you consider the hinted-at reasons for his insecurities, his clear desire for friendship and affection (he summoned a Tressym who became a lifelong companion and a lava mephit or something with whom he is still in touch; he even says he didn’t have friends growing up), and his main talent/special interest.

I think he’s a superbly-written character, and I definitely feel like he deserves neither death nor godhood, but a good and comfortable life surrounded by a loving family who encourage him to be his best self.

[ultimategenshintournament]

Ultimate Genshin Tournament: Round 5

Propaganda below cut

Venti:

calls the Traveler "his warrior" plus he's like our long-time friend??? He basically asked us out during the alchemy event???? You can choose to bring him up during the fight with Signora????? He's the best idc

He. Is. Amazing. So many layers, so interesting...So much trauma and potential...Not to mention look how AWESOME he is generally!!! He's kind and caring towards everybody, and also carefree and mischievous!!! How can you not love him??

he’s TOO GOOD for this world- he’s just a little guy!! Like he cares for his nation and the people of Mondstadt SO MUCH it hurts when people say he doesn’t. Like, my poor trauma-driven little mega-powerful war god who’s actually just a tiny little wind spirit honoring his dead friend!!!! I love him so much

his lore means he gets brought up almost every patch. he convinced a bunch of the most lethal women in Teyvat to have tea instead of screwing him up. he would always rather take the path of least resistance. he’s the three time best bard in Mond. he never seeks glory, only wishes to offer it to others. he was a better father to Diona than her real one five minutes into meeting her. he gives Glory whispers of what the world looks like so she can navigate. when a nun of his own church denied his identity he decided to run a heist to steal back an item that is only holy because it is his. he keeps his misery and loneliness trapped within, and does his best to bring joy to every person he meets. how can you not love him? 

He's Venti. How do you beat that? Answer: you don't. You can't. 

they say that an nation is most like their archon but is the anemo archon a god that took after the people's traits or did the people take their archons traits (the only correct answer is that venti took after old mond's people traits and it's so disgustingly sweet, he's a lil baby who cared so much that he kept old mond's wishes heard and their dream a reality — of freedom (without a god, as much as he could) where humanity leads trust. he left mondstadt because he trusted that humanity would do that right thing always but then he got betrayed by the Lawrence clan but he forgave them???! the anemo archon gave them no punishment , but mondstadt did . venti has me ugly crying

Kaeya:

He's cool, he's mysterious, he wears an eyepatch, he has a super tragic backstory, he's good with kids, he takes care of his friends, what's not to love!!!

despite all the hardships he’s suffered, he’s still such a kind person 

This is the character of the everyman. Everyone should love Kaeya because he's with you no matter what. He has the great mystery of his origins and his damage with his family and his brother, but he is with you til the end. That's what makes him so special to me

Furina:

girl deserves therapy and hugs and the best life in the WORLD because oh boy she went through a lot!!!! wouldn't pretending to be a god for 500 years with no support mess you up? and yet she still kept on going for her people!! she wanted to save her nation from a doomsday prophecy and she DID

After act 5 she deserves the world :(

“If all the people of Fontaine are on one side, and I am on the other…is it not obvious where the scales of suffering should tilt?” NO IT ISNT YOU’RE JUST ABNORMALLY SELFLESS AND INCREDIBLE AND PERSISTENT. Even the Archons praise Furina’s name and say she is a human with strength and capability worthy of an Archon. That’s not even to speak of Focalors. She snapped at Arlecchino only when the Harbinger implied that Furina had done nothing to preserve her people from the flood. Meanwhile every minute she was working to prevent the prophecy. A month after we took her to court and almost got her killed she agreed to help us direct a play, a favor for a favor

[tilthedayidice]

Hey welcome back to my BG3 Hot Takes

While I have your attention, here's a cool site to help Palestine, all you gotta do is click it daily.

This session was inspired by @lipsie, gettin me ttalkin way too much. Yes I am aware that the tadpole changes things, and they have to make it balanced for the game blah blah blah- let a bitch complain.

Screenshots sourced from the Baldur's Gate 3 Wiki

Gale is the only character I feel is spec'd correctly, He's smart but fiuckin stupid, he has autism rizz, mam could not lift any box you asked him to, the only reason his constitution is 13 is because he's been dealing with the Orb and he's used to it by now.

Karlach should start with 20 strength and you CANNOT convince me otherwise, her charisma should be higher also, she's a ball of sunshine and could put the fear of god into anyone, and the line "Gods I wanna ride you til you see stars" will never leave my brain. Give this bitch a 15. She do be a little dumb I'll give you that.

Shadowheart is just funny to me, How can her wisdom be a 17 when she's been cloistered away for so long? Her wisdom is only a 17 in ONE SPECIFIC SUBJECT, a subject where she's forced to give up her memories. Memories are where we get our wisdom. Wisdom is gained through lived experiences, I'd give you the 17 for endgame Shart, but not start of game Shart. I'll take the 8 CHA cause she's a bitch (said with love, me too babe) but she knows enough to get what and where she wants so I think we should nudge it up to like 10.

Lae'zel.... I think it's unfair to put Lae'zel's intelligence at 10. Her wisdom being low, yeah i get that she's been cloistered away in a society that believes its the only way, it's all she knows. But intelligence? No. She might know much about Faeruns culture and people, but she knows EVERYTHING about the stars. And there's far more of that than there will ever be of Faerun. She's the funniest person we know, give her 9 CHA.

Wyll my beloved, do you airbrush those abs on? Do you wake up every morning and contour them? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU DO!!!!!!!!! SO WHO'S THE ASS WHO DECIDED YOUR STRENGHT WAS A FUCKIN 8??????? THE BLADE OF FRONTIERS SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST A 13. He deserve a 15 but I know they won't give it to him. Lipsie and I were talking about him and they're right, WHEN WE DUMP THE BITCH HE SHOULD RESPEC INTO BARD.

Astarion..... oh Astarion.... you're such a disaster. Such a wet cat of a man. Such a pathetic little mew mew. I shit on him a lot, but I do really love his character and development lol. LESS STR MAKE HIM WEAK, he has been starved and living off rats and shame, he can have his measly 8 AFTER he drinks... uh "Thinking" Blood. His CHA being 10 is perfect actually no notes. I personally think his actual INT should be lower, not too much lower, maybe 11/12, I knooooow he was a magistrate, but you can't tell me he's not giving himbo... no what was that word on the meme graph? Himbim? Himbim.

Halsin.......... 10 STR? 10?!?!?!?! You built him LIKE THAT and give him 10 STR?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? What in the nine hells...... Weaker than Karlach of course, but 10????? Give that man 15 at least 8 INT???????????? 8???????? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HATE HIM???? Is it because he isn't Gale? Mans has been studying the mindflayers on his own, he's been studying the shadow curse... on his own. HE'S A MASTER HEALER?!?!?! AN ARCHDRUID?!?!?!?!?!?!? That takes time, study, and dedication. You wanna assign him himbo so bad. He's just a whole well rounded man with autism,. (Not a dig on himbos, quite literally my favorite genre of Man). This is just 'cause he fucks isn't it.

Minthara she's so much smarter than Larian gives her credit for. While I agree with the WIS, that's more a product of being so closed off, Her INT is much higher. I'd give her a 14? She cunning, just because it's used for Evil deeds doesn't mean she hasn't been she hasn't put a lot of thought into her work. She lived in Menzoberranzan for Gods' sake. She had to be smart or be killed?!? She's said so on multiple occasions! Just because she's Evil aligned doesn't mean she not smart. (She's just as smart as our average Bear according to Larian)

Minsc...... First off let me say that I love that they chose this image. A Bad Bitch. Anyways, anyone who doesn't find that dumb happy face charming is either lying or literally has a stick up their ass.... 12 CHA. Also why is he so weak? I know he isn't like actually weak... but mans chunked that mimic? Let him have 14.

Jaheira I'll give you the 10 STR, she's complained about her knees like three times in my most recent session. 8 INT? So what I'm getting here.... is anyone not an origin character is just baseline 8? Lazy. Especially considering she was ALREADY GIVEN STATS IN TWO PREVIOUS GAMES. In both BG1 and BG2 she has an intelligence of 10, and if anything she's only gotten smarter over time. I wasn't gonna do this... but left is 1 right is 2.

15, 14, 17, 10, 14, 15, and 15, 17, 17, 10, 14, 15

Make it make sense. I know she's old at this point, but in my game she killed Sarevok again so idk man.

Rip me apart in the notes ;)

But do it nicely...

[myers-meadow]

Azog the Defiler x OC: In which Gandalf learns that Orcs can love

Title: In which Gandalf learns that Orcs can love

Pairing: Azog the Defiler x female OC (Hadewych)

Fandom: The Hobbit movie trilogy

Summary: In this tale we follow the Companionship of Dwarves on a dual mission: reach and reclaim Erebor, and maybe rescue a friend they made in Laketown. The last quest leads to more hardship than expected, as Azog has his sights set firmly on the human, and isn't planning to let the Dwarves take her from him.

Warnings: rape/non-con, Azog is his own warning honestly, character death, non-consensual voyeurism, corruption, (mild) rape aftermath, language barrier.

Wordcount: 2147

Gorgeous dividers by @saradika-graphics

"She should be around here, somewhere," called Fili from over his shoulder, scouting ahead through the thick growth of the forest. It was a forest so thick, only little of the late afternoon sun reached through the trees. Thorin, Kili, Bilbo and Gandalf followed him. They were tired, especially now that their end goal seemed so close, yet so far away. After leaving Laketown, the kind friend of Bard, who sheltered them, followed them with provisions and weapons. That was a week ago. Immediately after she found the companionship of dwarves, they were ambushed by Azog's hunting party, and she was taken.

After five days of captivity, it was Bilbo, with Dwalin and Thorin, who rescued her from the orc camp as they all slept. She wasn't as grateful as they expected however, frightened beyond words. Her fear remained with her, even though she was safely away from the man-eating orcs.

"You don't get it," she said, keeping her voice hushed even while hours away from the site they rescued her from, "he will find me and it will be worse. You've put yourself in danger, too."

The dwarves waved her concerns away, but it gave Bilbo pause. Something felt off. Why would the orcs come for her? They were hunting the dwarves already. Despite his feeling of unease, their journey continued.

Balin convinced her, with his gentle reasoning, to come with them, and not head back: "We are less than four days march away from Erebor. Once we are there, you'll be safe inside. No orc could enter the mountain and live. Laketown is at least a week from here, on horseback. Don't be stupid and get yourself killed trying to go back."

Hope shone in her eyes at his words, a fearful hope. It was decided; she would come with them. Evening fell, and they set up camp. Hadewych remained withdrawn. As they wound down after their meal, which finally got some life back in her face, Gandalf took up his pouch of pipeweed, lighting his pipe. They sat, gathered in a circle around the fire, flames making their shadows dance.

"Hadewych, what happened to you out there?" asked Fili. None had dared ask before, as her panicked state had been enough of an answer. Kili, who sat next to her, moved her braid aside and gestured at the large bitemark on the side of her neck.

"It looked like they tried to eat you," Kili said, sounding somewhat impressed, his tone light. Hadewych slapped his hand away.

"It's beyond you," was all she said.

Gandalf took the pipe out of his mouth, and agreed with her. "Let the poor woman have her rest. We're not there yet. I have a feeling the worst is yet to come."

Later, when just Bilbo and Gandalf remained, unable to sleep, keep watch, did Bilbo dare to ask the wizard more.

"The orcs, they..." he started, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Why did they let Hadewych live? They would've slaughtered any of us as soon as they had the chance."

Gandalf, old eyes peering from beneath his wizard's hat, replied: "Hmm, it is certainly curious. I suspect we’ll find out soon enough, although I fear it won't be pleasant."

After a short silence, as the moon's rays illuminated the rocky landscape, he continued. "There isn't much we know about orc culture. So far, Azog has proven to be at the top of his tribe, with not just bloodlust, but also a great strategic mind. He's smart, Bilbo, that's what makes him more dangerous than most."

"You're saying he took her for a strategic purpose? But what on earth could that be?"

Gandalf shrugged, movements slow. "You should get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day."

In the morning as they set out on their journey, Hadewych found Gandalf and fell into step next to him.

"Gandalf," Hadewych started, uncertainty in her voice, unsure of how to ask what she had on her mind.

"Yes, my dear, what is it?"

"Do you know Black Speech?"

"What a curious question. I do understand it, yes. It is a vile language, created by Sauron and I prefer not speaking it."

"I understand if it's too much to ask, but could you maybe teach me? Every little bit would be a great help."

Gandalf halted and turned to her. His eyes bore into her soul and she sensed that he knew and understood a great deal more than any of the companions, more than even the wizard let on. "There may be a way to teach you that will help you more than simply translating words. You've tried it already, haven't you? To let the pale orc teach you."

Unsure, but aware that lies were useless, she nodded. "All I've managed to parse out are a few different words, and that's hardly enough to understand what they say. The dwarves may think I'm safe now, but they don't understand." She adjusted her cloak and hugged it around her. "It's only a matter of time before I'm surrounded by orcs again, and I need to know what they say - to know what is coming."

The wizard hummed. "I see." He paused and regarded her for a long moment. The companions walked on ahead, but it was no matter. They could catch up with ease, if needed. Then he nodded and grabbed his staff. "Then we shall see what we can do."

Another day passed, and Gandalf allowed Hadewych to learn and practice Black Speech. She had little trouble with it, aside from the grammar. During the second morning, she felt a bit more at ease and her normal self returned, and she joked with the dwarves the same as she did while they were in Laketown. Bilbo still eyed her warily - to him, the mystery of her behaviour was not yet solved.

Once they got going, the terrain opened up in front of them, and it gained in height. It would truly only be three more days until they reached their beloved mountain. The hunting party ambushed them from the side, driving them back with a cliff at their side. It was the worst possible road to be ambushed on, and even though Thorin sent Fili and Kili ahead as scouts, they hadn't seen nor heard a thing. Thorin barely escaped with his life. Hadewych wasn't so lucky, as she was slung over their leader's shoulder, defenceless without the weapons or skill the dwarves had. The dwarves hid in the mountains, and the hunting party took off just as swiftly as they came, disappearing into a thick forest, taking Hadewych with them.

Evening fell. The dwarves licked their wounds and regrouped properly that night, and discussed what they could do. Many seemed in favour of continuing their original quest, and not taking the risk of going after the hunting party.

"Is Hadewych not also one of our own?" argued Bilbo. "She went through the trouble to bring us the weapons and provisions, without her we would've been defenceless."

"That's just how it goes, laddie," said Dwalin. "She knew the risks when coming with us."

Bilbo, outraged, looked to the others.

Balin answered. "Aye... But we've been the ones who convinced her not to go back to Laketown. That Erebor would be safer."

"No way she could've reached Laketown on her own anyway," said Gloin, his voice rumbling.

"Perhaps, but a group is easier to track than a woman alone."

"We failed to protect her," agreed Kili. "We can look for her, just a few of us. The rest heads on to the mountain. With just a few, we won’t be easily noticed."

And so it was that now the few of them who went to track the hunting party down; Gandalf and Bilbo came with, out of concern, Thorin and his cousins Fili and Kili; laid low in a bed of ferns, hidden behind bushes and trees, looking on as the orcs set up camp for the night. The pale orc towered over them all. He fed his warg and pet her fur, Hadewych close at his side, one hand in the warg's fur just like him. Kili wanted to creep closer, but was stopped by Thorin.

"So this is why she wanted to learn Black Speech," said Gandalf, which the dwarves paid little mind to. Bilbo looked at his wizard friend with curious eyes. They exchanged looks, and with his voice soft, Gandalf pointed at the scene. "They seem to be talking."

"He's laughing," said Bilbo, surprised. "Gandalf, don't tell me they've become friends."

They watched as Azog lead Hadewych to the campfire, a firm hand on her upper arm. Once seated, keeping her close to him, although it was difficult for them to see, he reached for the grilled meat, steaming in the cold evening air, and took a large bite out of it. The orcs dug in similarly, feeding on what was probably small game they've hunted, or dried food they took with them. Then the pale orc did something Bilbo nor the wizard saw coming. With the dead animal speared on his hooked hand, he plucked off bits of tender meat, and fed them to Hadewych. After letting her eat it right from his hand, he licked off his fingers.

"I'd say she's still deadly afraid of him, not to speak of the other orcs around. Wouldn't you agree?"

"But an orc wouldn't hear reason! Do you really think she talked him into letting her live?"

"That seems... unlikely," said Gandalf, his voice falling grim.

Thorin decided to wait until night fell and everyone was asleep to attack, so they did. The orcs laid down to sleep not long after, leaving just two who kept watch awake, as well as the pale orc and Hadewych. When they got up to rest, they did so on the other side of the mighty white warg, and Hadewych pet her fur as Azog gathered the blanket and mat from a nearby pack. When he spoke to her, his voice was low, unexpected of an orc to speak so gently. The dwarves spread out, trying to scout out the area more now that they had less eyes on them and less ears to listen. Bilbo stayed with Gandalf, leaned against a tree, waiting for the others to regroup. Their friend and her captor had now finally laid down and all was quiet.

"It's taking so long," complained Kili. "When will they go to sleep already."

"Patience," bid Thorin, reigning his cousin in.

They regrouped at their spot, Thorin directed everyone to their positions. When Bilbo glanced over at the sleeping forms of his friend and her captor, he found a rather odd sight. It wasn't immediately clear what he was looking at, as Azog hovered above the ground, facing down, and moved his body rhythmically. Not like someone who is sleeping. Not like someone turning around in their sleep. Bilbo grabbed Thorin by the arm, wordless, and pointed. Then, staring hard through the ferns, he they saw Azog sit straighter up and pulled a leg - a human leg - to his side, changing the angle of his hips. Then his movements made sense. Hadewych laid underneath him, and he moved his hips, grinning sadistically down at her, low rumbles spilling from his throat as he fucked her.

The dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf looked on, forgetting their cover, and stared at the scene in front of them with mouths open in shock. Kili pulled Thorin aside.

"I'm not risking my life for that," he said harshly, voice a little louder than it should've been in the quiet of the night.

Gandalf opened his mouth to say something, but refrained from interfering.

"What is happening, Gandalf, why is this happening?" asked Bilbo, who didn't want to look on, but couldn't tear his eyes away for longer than a second. The pale orc leaned down again, over his captive, and said something to her. The rasp of the Black Speech sounded almost doting. As the dwarves tried to figure out what to do - leave or attack - Gandalf observed the scene and thought of how to answer the hobbit. As he did, the orc snarled, and grabbed his captive close, ripped the fabric away from her shoulder, and bit down.

"It is what it looks like, my friend; Azog has claimed a mate."

Unfortunately for the unobservant dwarves, the pale orc had a short recovery time, and was on his feet within the minute. Quiet as a panther he moved through the thicket. He called out to Thorin, voice loud enough to wake the rest of the hunting party, and the dwarves were outnumbered quick. Hadewych looked on from the sidelines, leaning her back against the white warg, face in her hands, trying to ignore the screams of pain and sorrow as the line of Durin ended before her eyes.

[c-ossi-craft]

✨️💅✨️Posting my DnD shenanigans here because i can✨️💅✨️

Context: my character was a blind dwarf, because we play DnD via website and my Internet that day only allowed discord to work so I had to trust my fellow friends with guiding my blind dwarf. Also I am semi new to the game (I play it since like 6 months but I'm dumb ok I'm trying) also also- my dwarf girlie's name is Dima and again, she fokin blind + carried the whole team lmao

Starting of strong with this one:

Them: "you have a beard" (they told me, being sarcastic and trying to convince me that even the female dwarfs have beards, I googled and no, they do not)

Mi dwarf: "What!?"

The quest NPC dude (Frederic) trying to get away, but Dima (the dwarf) ((blind)) had a natural 20 in strength

"You stay here (formal)"

First fight ensues after the team had to point Dimas head into the right direction she basically unalived EVERYONE brutally.

*Goblin* *random blind dwarf*

Dima: "do I have him?? (As in ded)"

Others: "go" "you can do it"

Yes. He was indeed already ded.

"Nothing can destroy our castle!"

*dragon flies in*

*surprised pikachu face*

The townfolk explaining to us how they need us to kill a dragon and that usually nothing ever happens to their castle n stuff. (Next time when you build calculate a dragon, idiots.)

After Dima and Co slayt the dragon (Dima throwing Daggers the whole time - have I mentioned she is a Bard and has used her Bard abilities and horn exactly zero (0) times? - anyways I mistook the range for throwing daggers (60ft) as the amount of Daggers she has. So yeah. She threw Daggers throughout the whole campaign. + no one stopped her because everyone was just cool with her having 60 daggers)

Like imagine you're just vibing and then a blind Bard dwarf just comes up to you, could definitely kick your ass, refuses to do anything Bard like and just throws 60 daggers at you which will hit you because this girl almost like 99% of the time has a Nat 20

That's terrifying.

Anyways.

"Omg who healed me so good??"

*Blind (rolled a Nat 20 in medicine)*

[cherryronpa]

finished one of my bg3 files where i just shamelessly recreated a danganronpa character and started drawing this around early december to celebrate but didn't finish until mid-january lmao

here's my first non-EA tav, kaede! she's a half-elf bard with autistic rizz off the charts, but like most of the men in the game could be outmuscled by boo. i imagined her being a baldurian travelling musician who while she still very much prefers the various pianos lying around the game world has a modified lyre that plays like one for when she's on the road to perform elsewhere, and had come back to baldur's gate to visit a close friend (shuichi) when she got abducted.

(how it ended under the cut because spoilers for the game)

her story didn't exactly end 'happy' - her autistic rizz pulled karlach and gale and she ultimately chose karlach (it also pulled wyll but she was well into karlach territory when it happened), and she did defeat raphael who was probably closer to her actual final boss than the netherbrain was (someone pointed out that raphael is mostly a bard but also Raphael's Final Act contains many instruments, but a piano is not among them).

unfortunately when it came for netherbrain fighting time, kaede was invested in githyanki liberation that was not at all influenced by lae'zel threatening to kill her if she didn't. the gang freed orpheus instead and while unsure at first, kaede eventually chose to make the sacrifice herself and become a mindflayer despite abstaining hard from tadpole usage. (honestly with her stubbornness i feel like it would be a VERY long time and a LOT of brains eaten before it even makes a dent in how she behaves)

lae'zel went on with orpheus to topple the rule of vlaakith, wyll wasn't the blade of avernus so he just kind of stayed in baldur's gate (we did save his dad but never found the dragon), gale returned the crown of karsus to mystra, astarion didn't ascend because of course kaede would be able to talk him out of doing so, shadowheart turned her back on shar and was reunited with her parents.

and as for karlach, kaede kind of couldn't stay in faerun very easily being a squid now (especially after what just happened) and had very little left, and karlach was obviously about to die and was about all she had left, so kaede made a split-second decision to convince karlach that they could both return to avernus and kick the shit out of zariel together. and then they did. shuichi gets a postcard commemorating the time his best friend (now a squid) and her girlfriend kicked the shit out of an archdevil

also i imagine she was extremely devastated about it until she found out that she specifically gets four fingers and a thumb with the mindflayer form and then was only mildly devastated because she could still shred on a piano

[barbwillbrb]

Finally finished my full playthrough of BG3. Here be my thoughts:

For context, I had been sitting on my first playthrough for a month, as I had 4 huge fights left that I was putting off and little else left (Orin, Ansur, House of Hope, and the last battle). I did start a second playthrough in the interim, getting that character to the Gauntlet of Shar, then decided to go back to finish my OG character. I finally finished the game a couple days ago and have been collecting my thoughts. Here are some resolutions from my playthrough and thoughts on the game/characters:

1. First, here is my first Tav— Quil, a nonbinary tiefling Bard with very high charisma. I adore the character creator, but have one gripe— why can’t we yeet the titties in the vanilla creator (I know there are mods)? I want no titties please.

2. I did not get the Volo eye during my first run; Quil knew a bad idea when they saw one (my second Tav, Rackal, not so much). Quil also didn’t fuck with the Necromancy of Thay.

3. Scratch and owlbear cub made it all the way to the end!

4. Fucked up Auntie Ethel’s quest and got Mayrina killed.

5. Minthara was killed (I only recently fully learned how non-lethal attacks work).

6. It was really hard for me to pick a romance; I spent a good hour loading/reloading the tiefling party to go through my options (everyone but Gale and Wyll were interested, as I was specifically playing a character who wasn’t openly flirting with anyone; I wanted to see what characters came to me first. That said, I had to keep pushing Lae’zel back because girl wanted me within moments of meeting). Karlach ended up stealing my heart; I adore her.

7. I also had Halsin join us. I don’t see a lot of talk about KarlachxTavxHalsin on here, and it kinda bums me out; I was sold on the polycule when KarlachxHalsin started flirting with each other.

8. As a high-charisma character, Act 2 was my favorite, especially when it came to Yurgir. I did not know you could talk your way out of that fight completely; I think I was as shocked as Astarion when it worked. I’ve never seen a game where you could just… talk people to death. It was amazing.

9. Speaking of Act 2, Ketheric Thorm’s introduction is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. It was perfect at conveying the magnanimity of the situation.

10. I got everyone’s happy endings I think. Wyll, Karlach and I went to Avernus and are kicking ass, Gale is a professor/crown destroyed, and Astarion did not ascend/spawn were spared (the Gur letter at the epilogue is AMAZING). Shadowheart turned away from Shar, but her parents died so she could be free; she has the owlbear cub though, so I think she’ll be okay.

11. I don’t understand the whole “Wyll can’t make a decision” discourse. I get the issue with the pact scene (I can’t remember if I had the option to let him choose, but we worked with Mizora), but people make it out like he doesn’t make any decisions about his future at all in the game. I was able to leave the Blade of Avernus/Duke decision to him, and he chose the Blade. He had some cool dialog about the decision as well.

12. The goddamn Orpheus vs. Emperor choice is about the dumbest thing ever. I feel like if you maintained an overall positive relationship with the Emperor and managed to pull Lae’zel away from Vlaakith, I think there should be an opportunity to break Orpheus free and convince him to join you WITHOUT the Emperor turning tail to the Netherbrain. You should be able to free Orpheus and then have another high persuasion check to get him to stand down/join you. I feel that given the severity of the current situation, Orpheus would accept joining forces if it meant no additional mindflayers be made. Just the fact the Emperor goes by, Orpheus gets freed, and someone has to become a mindflayer is just…. Frustrating at best.

13. I think that regardless if romanced or not, a Lae’zel with high/exceptional approval who turned from Vlaakith is in love with Tav. The emotion in her goodbye at the docks is so powerful.

14. Similarly, I think the same can be said for Shadowheart (if turned away from Shar/had high approval).

15. The Dribbles quest sucked, but worth it just to make Lucretious happy/have her say nice things to me.

16. The character that grew on me the most was Astarion. I honestly didn’t like him too much, but his growth over Acts 2 and 3 really changed my mind. Plus, when I met Yenna, he actually gave approval towards any means of helping her— I was SHOOK.

17. I think the Orin kidnapping would be more impactful if your love interest was taken instead (the angst/race against the clock would be amazing). I also think that if one of the tadpole crew gets taken, the fact that Orin doesn’t have one should tell someone something’s up.

18. My favorite companion is tied between Karlach and Lae’zel. Karlach is so optimistic/stands true to herself despite the bullshit she goes through, and Lae’zel character growth is spectacular.

19. My least favorite companion is Shadowheart, although she’s beginning to grow on me. It’s just that some of her offhand comments are so off-putting in a real hypocritical way. For example, the “I didn’t expect to feel empathy towards refugees” thing is really hard to ignore.

20. My favorite NPCs are, in no particular order, Ketheric Thorm, Rolan, Yurgir, Omeluum, Blurg, Lucretious, Barcus Wroot, Auntie Ethel and Mol.

21. My least favorite NPCs are Gortash (I think he is a great villain, but he’s the kind of manipulative, opportunistic evil that makes my skin crawl), Wulburn Bongle and honestly most of the creche. Also that lady who’s mean to the dogs, but I nuked her with fireball and don’t see her as much if an NPC.

22. WHY CAN’T I ADOPT THE FUCKING CATS?

[shrineheart]

Man some shit has been going down with my DnD boy Fuck Roger and it has been a blast so far. So that means y'all gotta hear about it because I have brain rot.

So, Fuck Roger is this fella:

A classic case of "haha funny name joke" that becomes a serious character. Some notes on Roger:

He's a tiefling bard who works as a sex worker.

He's got a thick southern accent.

Fuck is his virtue name. One he chose, in part as a fuck you to his family and in part because it's what he likes to do. His father is Honor and his sister is Charity Faith so you can imagine how THAT went over.

When people ask him about it he likes to tell them "It's instructions."

Anytime someone says "Fuck!" in our game he drawls out "Yeah?" like he's answering to it.

He has an asexual boyfriend named Paul A. Deen (yes, we both went for joke names) who is a chef wizard. The pancake tattoos on his stomach are a tribute to him.

Roger comes from a rich family of philanthropists. His father is a sculptor and his mother's family would purchase art pieces and do auctions for charity etc. Which is how his parents met.

His father survived through a lot of persecution where he's from for being a tiefling. He lost his parents and brother to it. He started out life poor.

Roger is illegitimate. He's not aware of this even though it's kind of painfully obvious (his father is blue, his sister is purple, they have different horns, tails, etc)

He loves his father. His father is a good dude and knows Roger isn't his but loves him anyway.

His mother and sister were absolutely horrible to him throughout his childhood including physical abuse. His mother is a cleric so she would often just heal up wounds caused. It took him ages to convince his father something was happening because his father was often gone.

Roger's sister once tried to kill him over a boy that he wasn't even interested in. That prompted him to leave home.

He kept in contact with his father and lived with Kimora, a dragonborn woman who ran a brothel. He was of age but spent most of this time working as someone who did cleaning and fetching things.

His father sent him to bard's college. Deep down he hopes one day Roger will come to his sense, come home, and be respectable.

He fell in love with a noble's son, not realizing that said boy's sister and mother were two of his other regular customers. He had planned to run away with this boy but that information got out and he was a accused of trying to cause a scandal and blackmail the family. The boy parted ways with him but doing a complete 180 and turning against him. Roger's still not over it.

He met his current boy on a ship while running from home because said nobles would like his head on a pike. Paul was the chef.

Most of Roger's tattoos are ones he gets when marking of "races I have slept with".

He has a large tattoo of a starling on his back.

He has a tramp stamp that says Semen Demon.

Thanks to his time working in the brothel he picked up various small skills such as sign language.

His father taught him and his sister to whittle.

When people find out he's from a rich family they often see him as a kid off on a bender. He's rather quiet about his childhood but makes it clear he doesn't like his sister.

He's a good person. He doesn't like killing if he can help it. He doesn't even want his sister dead he just wants her to leave him alone.

Despite his work and how much he makes raunchy comments and jokes (the Paladin asking what a knot was is still one of my favorite moments) he's good with people. And he tries his best to make people feel comfortable.

Recent events have had him meeting up with his sister again. Their father is sick and she's trying to bring him home and while he wants to go he also doesn't want to leave his boyfriend or the party.

She's already tried fighting with him again and now they're trapped in a place where they can see each others' memories and where they will potentially lose all of their memories.

Roger doesn't want to lose his memory for all the normal reasons. But the most pressing one for him is "If we both lose our memories, I know me and we might end up in bed together and there is no way in hell that is gonna happen."

SO, where we left off last time he was about to either cast Dispel or Dimension Door to escape. The place amplifies your magic though so the results? Who knows. He and his sister flipped a coin for which spell to cast and we left on that cliff hanger last game.

[riddlerosehearts]

some more, slightly longwinded thoughts on various things i've done in act 1 of bg3 with my half-elf bard tav, elenion:

i ran into raphael and basically told him to fuck off because why would we ever accept "help" from a devil after seeing what just happened with wyll and mizora??

i also investigated the beach and found the harpies. i wonder if it was actually them that the squirrels were complaining about earlier and not alfira's beautiful song.

gale is hilarious but i'm now imagining elenion, who has already chosen to project an image of them on a romantic walk with gale into his head, rolling their eyes and thinking "so that's what i might be getting myself into if we survive all this."

i think i need to try and get into the habit of talking to everyone at camp after anything big happens even if they don't have a ! over their heads. i went to camp and accidentally clicked on astarion, and he had quite a bit to say about raphael and then so did everyone else!

lae'zel is so funny sometimes actually. i kind of love her.

also, the investigate the beach quest seems to have bugged out for me--it didn't complete after getting the letter from the kid we saved, which i assume was the end of the quest, but the objective was still to find mol who had no new dialogue. and then after i beat the goblin leaders the quest suddenly completed and changed to say "the situation has changed in the grove. mol is busy dealing with other matters." that's kind of annoying, but i'm guessing/hoping it won't really cause any issues??

anyway. i investigated kagha, and when i confronted her i got an option to recite the history told on the plaques in the grove as a way of convincing her to turn against the shadow druids. i knew my dedication to reading every bit of flavor text that i can find would come in handy somewhere! also, the game says that you just speak the text that was etched into the plaques, but since elenion is a bard i'm choosing to pretend that he turned it into a song.

after that i set out toward the goblin camp to save halsin and defeat the leaders. on the way there i got a dream sequence with the guardian i made in character creation, going "i've been protecting you from everything and btw you should totally embrace the ilithid powers". i had no idea what the guardian was going to be used for so i just made her look basically like how i thought elenion's mother would look, except i gave her the wrong eye color by mistake. i imagine that would feel very strange and would make it obvious that someone is trying to magically use his mother's face to manipulate him but has gotten a significant detail wrong.

everyone else at camp had the same dream and all had something to say about it! elenion basically told everyone he isn't sure he trusts this mysterious dream visitor, because really, i just do not see why he should from a roleplay perspective. he also is not opening his mind to the tadpole specimens, at least not for now. we'll see if anything that happens later in the story changes that.

minthara wiped my party once when i tried fighting her normally, so the second time around i killed her by luring her onto a bridge and then destroying it out from under her. i didn't get her loot that way, but it was hilarious. will probably try to beat her legitimately on a second playthrough.

i forgot to say earlier, i love how investigating the shadow druids gives you the ability to make kagha see the error of her ways and redeem her. i am still kind of mad that she tried to imprison a child, but i think she's actually a very interesting character.

kind of hilarious to me how lae'zel was very clearly expressing... interest in my tav at the party and was all "well, it's your loss, then" when they turned her down whereas astarion, completely unprompted, was like "gods i wish i was having sex with someone right now. but not you obviously, that would be awful". 😭 well you know what, elenion is gorgeous and smart and a musician (an inherently sexy thing to be) so maybe that's your loss!

i think i also could've ended up getting a romantic scene with shadowheart (she wanted to share a bottle of wine after everyone else went to sleep), but i chose not to do anything with her. although now i'm curious if i could've done it and just, like, made it platonic somehow? or if sharing a bottle of wine with her would've automatically been romantic.

i've heard that if you trigger the weave scene with gale at the party then the other companions will have dialogue where they react to the budding romance. which sounds hilarious but i got his approval up very quickly just by having my character be nice to people, and got the weave scene earlier, so i didn't get that dialogue. oh well! i still got a very sweet conversation with him. all of this talk about tara makes me wish she could come on the journey with us :(

i'm so glad we get to see alfira again at the party. i wish she could be a companion tbh, it'd be nice to still have a bard around if you don't play as one.

and speaking of alfira, once again i'm obsessed with the dialogue options in this game:

i picked the mixed heritage option because although elenion hates to boast or reveal too much about himself, i think he is very proud of his family. but i love that you have the option to be like "if you're going to write a song about me then it obviously has to be about how hot i am" or "if you dare write a song about me i will actually kill you".

anyway uhhh. what else. i'm sure that i've missed plenty of things i could've done so far, for example i ended up finding a dead tiefling beside a telescope on a hill and i bet if i'd gone up there sooner i could've saved her. i bet i also could've gotten higher approval with at least karlach or lae'zel and seen what might've changed about their dialogue at the party if i'd progressed more in their quests first. i think i may have also missed the chance to adopt a baby owlbear. and i'll probably end up missing even more things! but that's fine because i already know i'm going to be doing multiple playthroughs of this game.

i think now before i do anything else i am going to work on karlach's personal quest, because i still haven't taken down those paladins and i need to get some answers out of her.

[ahleezeruinavt]

So me and my friends, even after finishing BG3 forever ago, we still make headcanons about our characters. So I am doing my duty to share with you some of the best ones we've made. Quick Guide too while we're here: - Ahleeze (High Elf, Bard, was a noble but got kicked out for trying to lead a rebellion, relationship with Astarion) - Azrael (Half-Elf, Paladin of Torm, super tall, relationship with Shadowheart) - Alphaeus (Tiefling, Warlock of who knows what, but we're convinced he has multiple patrons atp, mysterious past, no one knows his age, relationship with Karlach) Now onto the headcanons.

Ahleeze can't actually read or write common very well, if at all. She only knows Elvish. She can speak common though

Azrael, after losing her arm and getting a prosthetic, uses it as an extension of lay on hands. She does this by casting "lay on hands" and then promptly chucking her arm at people.

While no one in the party actually knows how old Alphaeus is, they like to play guessing games with it. All they know is he uses really old phrases for stuff, and always seems to keep butterscotch on him.

After the respective romance scene for Act 1, everyone sort of awkwardly passed by each other in camp and just kind of go "where have you guys been"? Azrael's hair is an ABSOLUTE mess, with Shadowheart sort of guiding her back to her tent. Alphaeus seems to have a few burn marks on him, while Karlach smells a little bit like burnt flesh. Finally, Ahleeze is stumbling, absolutely slurred speech, whith blood on her neck while Astarion is very happily walking behind her.

Azrael is probably the scariest paladin anyone has ever seen, only because of her giant sword that is lit up with holy fire at any given time (it's the sword you can get at the start of the game if you kill the demon in the ship)

Everyone has a code for having sex. Azrael and Shadowheart is "swimming lessons" (kinda like the "lets go run lines" from the scott pilgrim anime). Ahleeze and Astarion is "grabbing dinner". We like to think Alphaeus and Karlach don't have a code tho and just flat out say they're going to have sex and to not disturb them. Though they always have to stop by the store for fire resistance potions.

Ahleeze and Azrael actually grew up with each other for a short time in the fae realm, with Azrael's mom serving as a knight for her family. The two got along great, but there was some shocks in behavior from both of them for sure. Namely the fact that Ahleeze's family never actually ate together (everyone ate in their rooms or studies), and that Ahleeze didn't know how to fight, while Azrael did. Azrael promptly tries to teach Ahleeze how to fight after hearing her tutors aren't actually allowed to hurt her, and then gives Ahleeze a giant bruise on her forehead while play fighting.

Someone once tried to copy Alphaeus and when they went to play "three questions" to see who was the real one, once the copy answered the first question Ahleeze and Azrael just went "Wrong, Alphaeus wouldn't even bother answering these in the first place" and just attacked that one.

When they all have kids, Azrael constantly catches Ahleeze and Astarion's two little knuckleheads stealing and scamming people. Very quickly learns that Ahleeze and Astarion have been teaching their kids that "if you want something you have to work for it" and taught them how to get away with things. Main key to this was be extremely confident in what they're saying. So much so it doesn't even sound like they're lying.

Now onto some sadder hc's / canon that we've planned for our story.

When Azrael loses her arm, it is to save Ahleeze from a necrotic magic. She had to sacrifice something important to bring Ahleeze back, and so she sacrificed her arm which she wields her sword with. This is bc, since Ahleeze led a sort of rebellion (teaching common folk how to use rune-based magic), which resulted in the death of a lot of people (as a sort of "cleanup crew" was tasked to get rid of anyone who knew this knowledge). The deaths are technically her fault, so her punishment was death or to leave the fae realm and never come back. She chose to leave, but came back so they could try and find something to help Karlach's engine. Her punishment for coming back was death and Azrael basically says that since Ahleeze technically died, her sentence was over. This causes a "crack" in Azrael's oath (since we didn't really think it would break it) for interferring with justice.

When Ahleeze eventually gets old, Astarion and her go to watch the sunrise. Where Ahleeze passes away peacefully and Astarion then turns to stone (i don't even remember where I saw a vampire turn to stone but I remember it somewhere and I think it's cooler than burning to ash) A sculpture is comissioned of Ahleeze so that her and Astarion's "grave" is marked at their final resting place.

might add onto this at some point but I am blanking because it's almost 1 am and I just kinda needed to get all of these out of my brain before I went to bed

[elden-bling]

RPG Horror Story

I need to get this off my chest. Normally I would post this on reddit but one of the people I play with follows me on reddit and I am pretty sure none of them are on Tumblr.

I play in a dnd campaign that from the start was told was going to be dark, it involves things like smuggling, assassination, gaslighting.

I predicted that everyone would make dark, broody and edgy characters. So I made sure to make a tiefling bard who is a ray of sunshine, which probably made her the target of a lot of the dark stuff that happens.

Session 1 passed by without much trouble, but when we got to session 2, that’s where things started to go wrong. I’ll have to introduce the cast to make this more understandable. We have:

DM

Bard

Wizard

Rogue

Warlock

Paladin

Me

Bard and I were told to get someone to open a certain door. I wanted to get them but Bard decided he would open the door himself. This led to plans being slightly delayed and things going wrong. After a fight, the person who we were supposed to get was livid. At this point Bard had to leave, so I was forced to take all the blame for what happened. I tried to help an old man who turned out to be a powerful wizard. Now my character has a grandfather who is also a powerful wizard, so this really tugged on her heartstrings. In the end, trying to help the wizard caused a major fuck up later down the line.

Next session, I had to blackmail someone into paying a debt for someone, once again with Bard. Now, my character hates all the things she has to do, but she wants to better this organization so she wanted to convince the person instead of actually blackmailing them. Let me tell you what Bard did to help.

Nothing.

He only came in to ask who a certain person was and because I didn’t know exactly what the relationship between those two people are, I simply said they must have had history together because well… they know each other. In response I was called a pig because apparently the person who is in debt was their son. How was I supposed to know that?

Meanwhile, everyone keeps telling that I have a bleeding heart. Even my characters fiancé calls her scuffed.

Tensions are high between me and Paladin. We have a conversation where we agree that we can call each other out on our bullshit. I admitted that my character made mistakes, but she thought what she did was right in the moment. Paladin says he isn’t worried about mistakes, but he is worried about her killing herself because of it. One thing he said, that if he needed to shut up, she should tell him to. This will come back later.

A couple sessions go by without anything really happening. But eventually we have to find the wizard again. After he was let go he had a shackle attached to his wrist so it would block magic. Now our Rogue who is built for insight and investigation… does not insight check this man at all. She has been insight checking every little thing, but not this man.

We tried to lead the old man into a false sense of security and then the Paladin just STABS him. We are level 4. We have to now fight against a wizard with level 5 spells. Now, he is at least a level 9 wizard, but knowing how my DM plays powerful characters, he would most likely be more akin to level 13 to 17.

Our Wizard, Rogue and Bard hide the entire fight, leaving the fight mostly up to me, the Warlock and Paladin. Still after my character risking their life, the man who yelled at her before claims that SHE is the reason all this happened.

During more sessions our gang loses access to the black market. So I thought: “Hey if I can get access back to the black market, maybe the party will realize that I can do stuff”. During downtime, I also tried to get a talk with a leader from a rival gang to hopefully help my group.

Now, to help the DM, I make character portraits for the npcs. I was told that the leader of a rival gang wouldn’t show up this session. So I thought that I would have time to discuss things on what to do with the party, what to say to the leader to not fuck it up once again.

That session… I was called to that leader. I didn’t get time to prepare, I was put on the spot. I was forced to take a deal where no matter what, we would be in debt to them. I chose the lesser of two evils.

The party proceeded to flip their shit. Paladin was yelling, Warlock was yelling in his own way which is by grumbling, even Rogue who barely raises their voice was yelling. I never got the chance to explain myself. I tried to get them to stop yelling but they just wouldn’t budge.

Now, out of character, I had a talk with Paladin that yelling at me is something I do not appreciate because when I was young my parents would yell when they were angry and not let me give a chance to explain myself. He said he understood and that he wouldn’t yell at me.

About two weeks before the session I described earlier, I got contacted by the DM and Paladin. Paladin wasn’t having a good time playing his character because he felt like he had to walk on eggshells around me and asked if I would mind if he played his character how he wanted to. I said I didn’t mind, thinking that he wouldn’t yell at me because of what we discussed. Obviously I was wrong.

Now as Rogue, Warlock and Paladin are yelling at me, the DM is laughing his ass off. Paladin also starts laughing and he and DM start to say how DM read up on criminal psychology and how manipulators get people to do what they want.

At this point, I was on the verge of tears, but managed not to cry. Paladin, in character, walked out of the room to which our leader asked him what happened. Paladin responded with:

“Character’s name happened.”

We then got into a combat situation and had stop in the middle of that.

After the session, I asked Paladin if he would have yelled at Warlock and Rogue if the same manipulative situation had happened to them. He said yes, to which I responded that I find that very hard to believe. Paladin proceeds to tell me that he is sorry if I am taking this personally.

My character has been the punching bag this entire campaign, at what point is it still fun story telling? Is it my fault for wanting to play a more positive character in a darker campaign?

The DM said that a lot of the plot progression has happened because of my character, but it doesn’t feel like I am doing something right when I just get yelled at by both npcs and the party.

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to play the other dnd campaign I am in, even though that party is very positive about my character and are actively encouraging him to get into shenanigans.

My only choice seems to be to either keep playing my bard and be miserable, start playing a different character or just leave all together. I don’t want to leave these people since I genuinely enjoy their company but I can’t be the punching bag of this campaign anymore.

I honestly just have no idea where I went wrong with my character as I have actively been trying to prove that she can do things only to have the DM pull the rug out from under their feet to make them mess up again.

Should I just talk with them again? I honestly doubt they will listen since nothing has changed from our previous talks.

I suppose I can always play a character who is just as big of an asshole as the other party members are, although I’m not sure that will solve anything.

[leiflitter]

Answering the Tav!Companion questions because Companion!Els is living rent-free in my head.

Questions are from here:

Answers are under the cut! IT'S LONG. But she's worth it!

General

Where can your Tav be recruited?  Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region?  Or are they not recruitable until a later act?

Els can be found in the Blighted Village. She's been cornered by Lump and his pals, and has challenged them to a game of riddles- if she wins, she walks. If they win, she's dinner. However, they're at an impasse- Lump thinks Els is cheating. Els thinks Lump is bad at riddles.

To recruit Els, you need to save her from them- either by mediating (if you solve it without conflict, you get a bonus to her approval) or killing the ogres.

Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

Gale: How intriguing- I've never had the opportunity to study Bardic Magic up close. Perhaps she'll let me take a look at that lute?

Wyll: A Bard? I hope any songs she pens about us are flattering- but not too flattering...

Astarion: I'm sure it's perfectly lovely, but you don't know where it's been- must we pick up such unrefined strays?

Shadowheart: Don't expect us to be friends just because we're both half-elves. We clearly have nothing in common.

Lae'Zel: Why is this bard so scrawny? Those who gather knowledge for my queen's libraries are prime examples of Gith- the better to pry understanding from the most grasping hands.

Karlach: Aww! Her lute's as big as she is! Can we keep her? Can we?

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

Gale: Talk about a memorable first impression- I wonder if he could teach me to pop out of a rock like that.

Wyll: Somehow he's taller than I thought he'd be from the ballads about him- but if they're even half true, he's a good 'un.

Astarion: Do you think he's gone outside? Ever? Paler than the belly of a fish!

Shadowheart: Clerics are always handy- I'm sure she'll warm up. Or, well, I hope she will.

Lae'Zel: Oh, she's a prickly one! I like her- I bet she'll stab me before the tenday's over, though.

Karlach: Look at those arms! She was made for hugging- shame she's on fire.

Halsin: I'll get a sore neck trying to look him in the eye. Reckon he'll carry me if I ask?

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

Raise approval:

Solving conflicts via talking.

Slightly silly or cheeky dialogue options.

Seeking knowledge- reading books, pushing non-companion NPCs for relevant answers.

If you help the Hyena in the Shadowlands, that'd give you a big boost.

Lower approval:

Prying- pushing other companions for information they aren't comfortable sharing/ failing 'detect thoughts' checks.

Hurting non-aggressive animals- if you kill the owlbear mother with Els in the party, Els will comment, "it's a shame- but that wound would have festered. Best she die in battle than slow and sick. Rest well, you magnificent beast."

Siding/negotiating with Aunty Ethel.

Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?

If you betray the grove.

If you let Ethel keep Mayrina.

Throughout the game her dislike of The Absolute will grow- but if you do too much stuff that sides with it, you trigger a conversation where she asks about your motivations. If you can convince her that you're going to betray the Absolute, she'll stay, but her approval will be harder to raise and she will leave if it falls too low.

There's also an event in her overarching quest that can mean she leaves, but that's detailed below.

Do they have any secrets that can be revealed?  What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?

She can't read. If controlling her, clicking on any book will trigger speech lines until she reveals it-

"Better get Gale to do that, he'll enjoy it more."

"Don't want a papercut!"

"Uhoh, something in my eye..."

Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game?  Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?

A cutscene will trigger when you hit a certain level of approval and have explored either the Dank Crypt, the phase spider lair or the Alchemist's basement (or, if you do none of these, it will automatically start at the first long rest after you've entered the ruined temple in the goblin camp- as long as there isn't another cutscene) where she will reveal that she can't read. You can offer to teach her yourself (int check), say you can ask Gale or Wyll to teach her (persuasion check), tell her it's not a big deal or mock her.

If you pass the check to teach her or say you'll ask someone else to teach her, then whether she can read is based on an int roll.

It starts at int. 15 with disadvantage- after you've successfully read 5 books, disadvantage is removed. A further 5 lowers the check to 10- another 4 checks lower the check to 5, then finally 5 successes later- she can read!

The Mischevious Minstrel-

You have the choice to help Els both learn to read and to help her with her main goal- to track down her birth mother. After she confesses that she can't read, she tells the player about her impoverished childhood. She explains that the only things she has to find her mother are the lute she carries and her mother's name.

In act 2, before Moonrise, there will be a cutscene where Els asks you to hold her lute for her for a moment. You get the chance to inspect it, and see a crest burned into the back of it. Baldurians will recognise it as a school crest- a lead in identifying Els' mother!

In act 3, Els' quest takes you to the school, where you find out who Els' mother is- and surprise! She's now Lady Seluriel Gathergarden, and is married to Lord Æthol Gathergarden. Lord Gathergarden is a major donor to Gortash, and they are both in the city to celebrate his big day!

At big fancy party, so dress up. You have a few options for this, so-

Getting in:

1. You can help Els be selected as one of the entertainers for the night under a fake name ("Alz Treesley, at your service!")

2. You can steal an invitation. Several wealthy folks around the city have them.

3. Gortash may invite you if you're playing Durge/you've sided with the Absolute just enough and Els hasn't left.

4. You can gatecrash.

Confronting Els' mother:

1. If Els has been hired to play, she performs a Hamlet-eqsue song about a rich lady who abandons a love-child. She will be given a prize for the best perfomance- alongside some gold, there will be a summons to Lady Gathergarden's chambers.

2. You can speak to Lady Gathergarden directly. You can either hint at Els being there, tell her directly or flirt with her. If you hint, she will ask you to meet her in her chambers. If you tell her directly, she will deny such outrageous rumour and flounce off- but soon after a servant will appear and pass you an anonymous note which summons you to the lady's chamber via a discreet passage in the cellar.

If you flirt with Els' mother, she will automatically respond in kind and ask if you'd like to take a walk with her- while avoiding her husband's watchful eye. She'll whisk you away to her chambers via the cellar- if you go this route then Els and your companions will sneak in and may interrupt you, uh, getting to know Els' mother. If you are romancing Els, this will pretty much invert her approval.

Once Els, her mother, and you are all in the privacy of her mother's room, it's time for a conversation.

Els will absolutely tear her mother a new one for abandoning her and her father. Her mother will start crying, and say that she was young and foolish, but nobody can know.

The conversation can have a number of conclusions.

1. Els' mother promises to start sending money to Els and her father, and you are given a substantial bribe to keep your mouth shut.

2. You can turn down the money if you convince Els mother to stop her husband funding Gortash.

3. You can push for both, with a suspiciously low persuasion check.

If you try to harm Els' mother, she summons ten Steel Watch guards and flees like the goddamn wind.

The final act of Els' quest is the Big Reveal.

You are awakened in your camp by a clumsy assassination attempt. A perception roll reveals your would-be killer to be one of the Gathergarden servants. You can also get this information out of them in the subsequent conversation. Els' mother has decided to tie up her little 'loose end'.

You have a few options to end Els' quest.

If you've made friends with the enchanted printing press, you can get it to print a scandalous tale about Lady Gathergarden's sordid past- and a secret lovechild! The Gathergardens will flee to Neverwinter, having never been so insulted by such scandalous lies.

You can visit Lord Gathergarden directly. To convince him of Els' story, she will show him the lute. If you spared the 'assassin', you can also ask them to back you up. They're happy to do so- the Gathergardens have replaced all their other servants with Steel Watch, and they're fed up with the pair of them.

Lord Gathergarden will be absolutely furious with his wife- and will offer to pay for your silence.

Els will be happy to accept this- you can also see that you want the Gathergardens to leave and to cut funding to Gortash (15 persuasion check). This will help with future Steel Watch quests, as the Gathergarden funds were going towards their upkeep, and the sudden retraction of money leaves Gortash scrambling to sort out the situation.

If you instead choose to fight Lord and Lady Gathergarden, you can- you'll be up against his Gortash Home Security System. His house is fancy and lootable, and you can find the Gathergardens in a panic room to finish the job. If you leave them alive, you're gonna be arrested and brought to Gortash for punishment. However, if you kill them, you can tell your servant ally to tell people that they went back to Neverwinter and shut up the house after taking what they want.

Els' quest endings:

1. If you tried to get it on with her mother and you're romancing Els, she will leave before the assassination. She will go the Printing Press route, and can be found playing in the Elfsong Tavern. She will tell you to fuck off if you try to speak to her.

If you're just friendly, she will actually find it funny that you tried to bang her mother. "All that money and he's got a whore wife, and she a cuck husband. I'd sooner be poor and honest than a miserable wretch like that."

If you went the newspaper route, Els will regret not getting her due, but accept that her mother's initial bribe wasn't bad- "more gold than I ever saw in once place when I was a child." If you haven't spent it, you can give her half to send to her father, which will be a huge approval boost.

If you confronted Lord Gathergarden and accepted payment, she'll say that she's set up a monthly stipend for her father. If she turns into a mindflayer, she at least will know he's provided for.

If you got the payment AND convinced him to cut Gortash's funding, Els mentions the above and will be gleeful over "hitting the Absolute where it hurts!"

If you killed the Gathergardens, she will be regretful, but reason that they'd probably break their word at a later date.

The final cutscene would be a chance to comfort Els over her mother- late at night she's upset about being abandoned, upset that her mother was as awful as she'd thought, and mourning the tiny hope she had of things turning out differently. You can tell Els that she's worth a hundred of her mother, and give her a big ol'hug.

What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp?  How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?

[You need to stay in camp]

"Guess I'll tune my lute, again... don't do anything songworthy without me!"

[I need you to join me]

"And so the adventurers set bravely forth... what rhymes with forth?"

Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?

Nah- Els is a charisma class, and any disagreements she has will be short-lived.

Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game?

Lady Seluriel Gathergarden - wood elf.

Lord Æthol Gathergarden - high elf.

Hetty - servant to the Gathergardens - halfling.

Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner) 

Story Specific

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?

"Have you never heard a faerie story in your life? If a stranger with a lovely face comes along offering you stuff that's too good to be true- it generally is."

If you go through Els' companion quest, Els will reveal that her Dream Guardian looks how she's always imagined her mother, and it's making her suspicious.

How do they advise the player character on Raphael?

"He's sly, that one. I'd be cautious- even before he did his big reveal, he looked like a man who'd try to piss on you and tell you it's raining."

How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

"... And you say I've got no manners. I've never bitten anyone who didn't ask or earn it."

How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?

"Hah! Bet the patrons in Sharess' Caress'd listen to a retelling of that... don't worry, I won't use your real name."

How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?

"I'm not a fussy eater, but blech. I'll pass, thanks."

Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

If you go with the gobs, Els isn't gonna stick around.

What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?

Els will be sitting near Alfira, joining in with the discussion with Lakrissa or playing her lute.

Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with? 

Gale: I hope you had a magical evening- I wasn't sure he paid attention to anything other than books.

Wyll: you'll have to let me know if the bawdy ballads are true, but don't worry! I'll keep it quiet.

Astarion: better you than me, pal. He'd probably tell me off for having holes in my underwear.

Halsin: don't say anything. He reminds me too much of my da- wait, does this mean you're my step-parent now?

Karlach: do you need some burn ointment? I have a good recipe.

Lae'Zel: seven hells, you look like you've been prizefighting. Hope you both won.

Shadowheart: about time she got some, I hope it'll loosen her up a bit.

Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?

"That was abso-fuckin-lutely uncalled for. Owch. You owe me for that."

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

"My turn next! My turn!"

[Keep licking]

"Stop hogging it- selfish, you're not the only one who likes licking strange things!"

What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?

"Oh hells yes, I was hoping you'd ask!"

(Els is EAGER to get up there)

Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin?  How is Orin's deception revealed?  How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?

Yes- it is revealed when Orim absolutely sucks at playing the lute.

Els in the temple of Bhaal is one of the few scenes where she's not chirpy.

"Is it really- is it you? Please be you- get me out of here."

How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?

Ascend: "... that... that didn't seem like a good idea, somehow. Never thought it, but I think I'll miss our foppish spawn."

Spare: "not sure what we'll do with that many of 'em, but we'll figure it out- the underdark, maybe?"

How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer?  Can they offer to become one themselves?  Does their reaction change if they’re romanced? 

If Tav turns: "Huh. Tentacular spectacular. Clearly an upgrade from your old look, buddy."

Els will offer to become one, but will ask you to send a letter to her father on her behalf while putting on a show of bravado. "It won't be so bad. I'll finally be tall!"

If romanced, she'll be a little unsure initially, before-

"Well, I figure I'd have loved you if you got old and saggy, so a little squiddy and slimy isn't a problem."

How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?

"If you need anything remembering, I'll help- and I'm sure we can find some strong rope and maybe a muzzle... joking aside, I reckon you're strong enough to resist it- if you let us help."

How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?

Abject horror, but trying to remain calm. "I... I'll remember her song for her."

If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?

Els will stay by a restrained Dark Urge and play them songs on her lute.

Romance

Is your Tav a romanceable character?  Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?

Yes- and no real requirements.

Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

Els will have semi-flirtatious banter, but flirty responses will initially make her a little surprised/flustered, and will trigger her romance route.

Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?

Els is a little of both! Initially she's fine with Tav dabbling around, but will ask if they want to be more exclusive around the end of act 2.

If you sleep with Halsin she will dump you, because "look, I'm not sharing someone with my da, even if he's not REALLY my da."

Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?

The player sees Els slipping away from the party, and follows her into the woods. You find her in a small, grassy clearing, where she's waiting for you.

"I was writing something about you. I thought you might want to hear it."

Depending on what you've done, she sings a little song about your heroic deeds, ending with,

"That bold adventurer that I call my friend"

If you want to be pals, you can tell her that it's a great song and you're happy that you're friends.

If you want to confirm romancing Els, you can say, "I think maybe you should change the last rhyme- how about- another and lover?"

"I'll have to change the entire last two li- oh. Oh do you, now?"

Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?

The different branches are to do with Els' end-quest (and if you try to sleep with her mother).

How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

"No harm done- that's the roving life for you. Just, uh, give me a day or two to get my head in order, okay? Maybe I'll go and get to know [highest approval character that isn't Els/your romance option] better."

What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test? 

What's her favourite song?

Correct answer: The one that goes like...

Els: My da would hum that while he worked- I can't believe you noticed, I play it to warm up my fingers.

What does Els value most?

Correct answer: Fairness.

Els: true, although it's not playing fair to know me THIS well.

What is Els hiding?

Correct answer: Els hides her negative emotions.

Els: Ouch. But... who wants a miserable bard to serenade them? You can't really blame me.

If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?

Breakup. She sees him as a father figure, it gives her a big ol ick.

How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor?  Haarlep?

Mizora: Her? Really? After all she did to Wy- that's low.

The Emperor: that face he wore really got you, huh? Or do you just like sea creatures?

Haalep: Well, you don't... uh... see that... every day?

Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?

"I'm... not really good at playing more than one instrument."

What are Tav’s plans for the future?  Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

She asks them to join her on the road- first stop, meeting her da.

[aliteraltrashgay]

You sent me an ask a while ago, and I feel bad I'm only just now following up with this, but I'd LOVE to hear about your dnd campaigns/stories/blorbos!!! Gimme all the tales

You. You have done me a great honor on this day.

My "main" campaign has been going for about 2 years now, so There Is Lore. It started as a group of 5 people (not including me), then 3 players left and another joined. We now have 4 total (again not including me)

The characters that are still there include:

Accalia the Tefling Bard/Rouge and a straight-up war criminal. She's committed war crimes and refuses to think of it as a bad thing.

Emile the Half-Elf fighter. The player also played his sister, before they killed her off and started playing her brother. He has the most issues by far.

Fiddlefen the Gnome Druid/Warlock. Their player joined late and is everyone's favorite. Fiddlefen gets bitches, in and out of the game

Theodorus "Theo" the Human Ranger/Paladin, started as a deranged old man and now is one of the most competent PC.

The ones who were there briefly were: Malach the Fallen Angel, Dio (except neither me nor the player ever watched Jojo), and Ohm.

Some stories include:

Fiddlefen made it cannon that milk is Gnome booze, and also poured a gallon of milk onto Malach to show him what milk is

Accalia made a deal with a giant man-eating centipede creature that it would leave her alone if she let it go into the physical world. The creature preceded to kill and eat a lot of people. (the creature could have been swayed by simply telling it that the PC was trying to leave. It was legitimately trying to be a good person). Accalia refuses to see this as an issue

Emile lost an eye in his backstory, got it back through ✨Shenanigans✨, then lost his other eye, so he technically has none of the eyes he was born with.

They met an NPC and adopted him. After that, every time they did something I would threaten the NPC. This only worked on Theo's player, as they're the only person who consistently remembers the NPC exists.

It is canon that the God of Gods is a person who wears a hoodie, and jeans, and has a floating, glowing D20 as a head. This person is canonically me.

Theo's player has a blood feud with Ohm's player. They also love Ohm with every bone in their body.

Accalia had 2 girlfriends. One is a half-succubus horse farmer, and the other is just straight-up a demi-god who can ascend at any point. The keyword had, as the demi-god is very pissed about the whole war crimes bit.

Theo had an adventure before this one, but he had intense amnesia to where he only just remembers. He was saved after the memory loss event by a senile gnomish woman. Theo is now convinced that Soup has the consistency of bread dough. No one has corrected him on this.

I'll leave it there, but there are quite a few stories connected to the campaign.

[segemarldoodles]

Oct 11 - Fight

D&D story time. So back in high school my friends and I decided we wanted to play D&D, it was like 2010 ish so 4th edition was current, we all made characters, it's actually where I made sege, and we got together and after all the messing around that comes with meeting up for a first session of a ttrpg, we did a grand total of one round of combat before we had to all go home for the night. We then didn't play D&D for five or six years. Now when we were playing that new campaign, which my buddy @neutral-divinity was DMing, he brought back the characters from the first campaign as NPCs for us to meet and control for like two sessions while we were in a part of the real that had been taken over by a demon, and as part of his corruptive influence on the land, any magic cast in the area had a chance of going wild.

So both of my characters, Ryrin was a Cleric/Ranger multi-class and Sege was some kind of ranger/caster so it was kind of a big deal that my magic could just go wild.

So of coarse I cast a spell and it went wild.

I don't remember why I was even casting it, or if it was being cast because it went wild, but Sege ended up throwing a fireball at a huge crowd of enemies, that a few of the melee players were engaging with. So the spell goes flying, it has a huge radius, and we're worried that it's going to kill like three of the old campaign NPCs and like two of current PCs. I'm apologizing for my shitty rolls and then I failed another and the spell effect morphed.

Now instead of killing everyone in a fiery explosion, they had to pass a check or suffer petrification. Everyone important except the current PC monk, and the NPC paladin pass.

The worst part was if I'd had hit one space to left, unbeknownst to me, I would have accidentally turned the BBEG into a statue and ruined Aaron's campaign, but I digress.

We finish the fight and drag the statues back to the ship and cook up a cure for statueitis. Now when you recover from petrification you have to pass a check of you take damage. The NPC paladin rolls poorly and takes a few points of damage, but stoically shrugs it off and keeps his compsure, assuring both parties that hes fine. The PC Monk, who for the entire campaign up to this point has barely interacted with us, wouldn't tell anyone his name and had only had a conversation with a a single NCP in ancient Dwarvish because no one else spoke it, rolls a nat 20, and what does he do? He rolls a second dice for a performance check. A. Second. Fucking. Twenty. So he drops to the floor and starts screaming bloody murder, and starts demanding that Sege be killed for attacking everyone.

The Princess of the other kingdom, who was one of NPCs and was being controlled by one of the players wasn't going to just execute one of her soldiers, so the Monk convinced her to hold a trial by combat, If he won, Sege would have to be exiled at sea, and if he lost he would drop it. Now Sege was not a martial character and was missing an arm, so he couldn't really expect to win a fight against a monk, but thankfully the Paladin stepped up and agreed to fight in his stead.

So they cleared out an area on the deck of the ship and fought. And the Paladin lost.

And so they loaded my old character onto a row boat with two weeks worth of provision and cast him out into the middle of the the ocean, the closest shore being the living hell we'd left several days prior with the wind at our backs. So most likely he didn't make it, but we'll never know.

We unfortunately never finished that campaign either, Ryrin had just stolen a Pirate ship for himself and the Bard, who had the same player as the Paladin, had made a deal with some death god since we were about to go participate in a war, and there would plenty of souls for her.

[firerwolf]

I gotta vent this somewhere so I’m gonna vent it here. I play DND with some friends. Our first campaign didn’t go super great. Our DM was doing it for the first time, we were doing Waterdeep Dragon Heist, he chose the villain before we made characters so the one chosen didn’t really fit our characters, and he didn’t adapt the story for our characters. We also felt railroaded at times and it just made for a meh experience. The highlight was a homebrew one of the party members ran in the middle of the campaign which was made for our characters and included a thematic end and it was fun. So basically despite the initial play not going great we were pretty hooked. Also our original DM at the end of the campaign made sure the ending fit us. So waterdeep ended on a good note.

But we had another friend who could only play earlier in the night and more on week days so we decided we’d make a group B which would be separate from the one member of our A party who can only play late and on weekends. This is where a recent issue happened. So the characters from group B did a couple one shots which were fun and went well but they were run by a new DM. He’s been the DM for basically all of group B’s campaigns so far.

So DM B was having fun with some random encounter tables and one week we decided to do basically a sort of short campaign based on some things he rolled on a random encounter table and built a story around. This story enclosed most of the important characters to the recent event. It included my Aarakocra rouge, another players Goblin gunslinger, and the DM’s snake lady monk. In this story near the end the monk one shot the big bad wizard we were supposed to fight so the DM added in another threat which the monk then almost one shot so she got teleported to hell. So after we killed the enemy my bird and the goblin set out to save the monk. With some failing on our part because we’re bad at DnD the monk spend like a day or so in hell but we rescued her. Our characters walked away with some special weapons(a good one for me that’s only real buff is that it counts as a magic weapon, and one the goblin didn’t think suited them(I mean it does as she likes throwing stuff and it’s a lightning javelin but the player just keeps forgetting to check who’s in the way before throwing)) but also with the feeling of complete failure. The monk walked away with a gun that made her super pretty, upped her charisma, maid her vain, and can shoot fireball once a day when fired. It’s supposed to be evil and possessing her but that doesn’t often come up. So it’s important basically that they failed the monk in the past.

At this point the Waterdeep DM wanted to try out his changeling bard before it joined the main group for a homebrew and we did a one shot that went well so we decided to do another random encounter short campaign DM B came up with. And it has turned out not to be short.

The story was just random encounters on a road until we meet up with a goblin merchant accompanied by some mantis people. They tell us about a town up ahead. My bird wants to check it out to be sure that the goblin isn’t being used because he’s not very smart but he’s basically been convinced to be a traveling salesman for others. We get there, find out the mantis are paired up with goblins to avoid people taking advantage of them, do some random shit, there’s some stuff with some succumbs that has to do with the monk’s time in hell, we almost adopt a mantis but at the time decided against it, then I don’t even remember why but we ended up at a factory where we meet the founder of the city. He tells us the goblins are actually being treated poorly, tells us it’s being caused by one of three people: they mayor, the mayor’s assistant, of a noble family. We’re told how we can try to investigate them and right away decide it’s either the assistant or the nobles because it seems stupid for it to be the mayor.

We decide to go after the assistant and to do that we have to adopt a mantis. It’s technically adopted by the monk because the system that the DM came up with basically required way to much for even the characters he thought would pass to pass and it’s only because of a 20 that his character can get one. So we all love the mantis, she is our daughter. And right after we get her we decide to go to lunch with her and stumble across the mayor’s assistant who for some reason wants our mantis. We end up fighting him and it turns out he’s a vampire with a magic item that lets him walk in the sun. He capture him and start asking questions. The bard comes up with a great system to let our daughter use her telepathy to let us see information as we question him. He has two letters on him and one is from the nobles to get the mantis and like a moron I assumed the other orders, which were to find us, were as well. So we set our sites on the nobles and the assistant seems to be a reluctant vampire. We go to lunch and the DM introduces a side quest that I guess is for my character but has no real connection to him. There’s just these medallions somewhere in the city that we basically have to stumble across. Then we ask about our daughter and why people might want her to a couple major npcs and they both are useless.

So we decide to break into the noble’s house. While long resting outside the house the bard reveals he’s a changeling for the first time to the full group and for the first time the gun possessing the monk comes up. She is talked down but the bird and goblin feel bad about not realizing the danger of the gun. Of course there was no way they could know as neither of them are magic users and the gun has never done anything to show it’s possessed, the bard just used detect magic earlier in the campaign so he knew from that. And then we sneak into the noble’s house.

At first things start out okay. We fight some weird creatures and find out the family was weird but then we are attacked by the staff. We came up with an entire plan where the changeling would disguise himself as the mayor’s assistant(this was why he revealed himself at all to be a changeling) but the staff are doppelgängers so it doesn’t matter. They can read your thoughts. We find a coat the DM meant for the bard but it’s pirate like and our daughter wants to be a pirate so we give it and an eye patch also meant for the bard to her. So we kill them then break into a vault. The vault wasn’t bad. There were four spectators and they are only supposed to protect the center and can’t see each other so we can go in these side treasure rooms. The skip the first one because of a creepy mirror(I have sense assumed one of the collectibles I was supposed to be looking for was in there) the second one has weapons and we get some basic weapons that count as magic but the special mace in the middle which was meant for the goblin is given to the mantis because it’s also pirate related. Another room was just full of spiders which attacked us. The bard and I are scared of spiders. The final room is a library where we can ask questions. I come to the realization that the nobles aren’t vampires even though that’s what the assistant hinted at. Oh and I find out there are four of them collectibles I’m supposed to find and I only have two.

So we set to getting in the center where there is an instrument that the goblin’s player and I know is meant for the bard. We try to get the spectators to attack each other but we of course screw it up and only three of them start fighting. The DM basically has the mantis give us a solution to the remaining one. We get in the center vault, get some coats and the bars gets his lute which is actually a person. We then leave the vault and this is where things start going wrong. We face off against 12 enemies, most of which are invisible and we can only wildly swing at. They nearly kill most of us. So we decide to take a long rest in the house as the bard has used up all of his spell slots. And even though this DM gives the goblin’s player shit about not using his spell slots because of situations like this where we’re sure there is a bigger threat we are punished for our long rest with a banshee, a white, and a ton of zombies. Basically it’s a situation where my bird has 10 health before the long rest and 8 after the fight following the long rest. So we take a short rest to get our HP back and move on.

So this is where the big event happens. We get to a room, stumble upon the head of the noble family, he reveals himself for some reason to be a doppelgänger and there is a big creature. The fight for the most part doesn’t matter. What matters is that the final enemy in a desperate attack uses this cod breath that downs the bard and mantis and outright kills monk. I get the kill the very next turn thanks to a crit but I couldn’t care less. I have only cared about getting the final hit once. I cared about my teammates. So the goblin just becomes a sobbing mess and doesn’t help leaving it up to my bird to save our friends. So I stumble around, stress out, and manage to find the chained up noble family and some magic bracelets and after more fumbling I revive the bard who then revives the mantis. The mantis and bird set to taking the monk to a hospital while the bard heals the nobles and asks them some questions. And that was where the session ended.

So for the week until we could play again I was constantly thinking about what our characters should do. At that point to both the goblin and the bird resurrecting the monk was all that mattered. During the week the DM assured us that if we failed to bring the monk back he had a backup plan. This introduced the idea to us that we could fail at the resurrection. We also both got the idea that he meant if by the end of the campaign we fail. He also started working on the cool new weapon his monk would get if we failed.

So finally Friday rolls around and we can play again. We spend the entire session running around. We were just told the mayor is a vampire bluntly by the nobles, then there ass holes to us so we just walk away. They do give us 500 gold but that’s going to be super pointless soon enough. We set to only caring about the monk. We find a priest to help us, find out we need a 500 gold values diamond, are hinted that the church next door that knows about our friend having died have sent a dude out to find her and wouldn’t want her being brought back for religious reasons so the bird, goblin, and mantis go to the morgue to protect the body while the bard goes to find a diamond. After having the price jacked up on him the bard takes all his and the monk’s money, sells a ton of the treasures we have, still doesn’t have enough money, but offers a magic item with all the gold he has for the diamond. We take the body and diamond to the church and the priest does the spell , the diamond vanishes, and then nothing happens. We are told the monk chose not to come back. Now this is the point where we all agree this all went wrong. Because the monk they walks in the church with her new weapon and a blood contract and unknowingly having hurt all of our characters in some way.

So what the DM reveals to us is that we were on a real life timer of three hours that we knew nothing about before the monk would just take a deal with a demon and revive herself. Note that it was less than a day since she died in game but it was still hours. At this point all of us players agree that we failed. No matter how you cut it we failed to revive the monk and none of us felt good about the outcome. Sure we wanted the monk back but we wanted to revive her not just have her show up when we failed to do it fast enough. And then the DM revealed what we all see as a duck move by him. We were 7 minutes from doing it on time. We all agree that him not giving it to us feels like a duck move. He also kept asserting that we didn’t fail but the fact is that we did. We didn’t revive the monk so we failed. He also kept saying that we’d get something out of it but none of us really care about items. We cared more about accomplishing the task. For the most part the bard is just annoyed that we lost all our money. This was already a pretty poor group so loosing like 2k of gold and a magical item worth thousands as well feels shitty to him. But because we knew we could fail both me and the goblin’s player walked away feeling way worse. For the entire session the goblin’s player informed us he basically had shut down because he was so worried about doing the wrong thing and failing. He wanted to succeed. Meanwhile because I was afraid of failure I deliberated a lot of choices for some time meaning I for sure ate up at least 15 to 20 minutes which made us fail. And it makes me feel like shit that be trying to make good thought out choices caused us to fail while the goblin’s player feels guilty that he didn’t take part and feels like that also caused us to fail.

And now the DM’a monk has the goblin likely to be a sobbing mess as she thinks the monk hates her for being a failure and my bird mad at the monk because she had so little faith in our characters. The bard isn’t very invested, he’s leaving to join group A after this campaign. And worse we got to thinking and now don’t care about the town. We’ve agreed that we don’t see what other than some goblins being treated poorly is actually something to fight. It’s a shitty town full of shitty people who seem fine with their vampire mayor. So we’ve just lost all interest in the story and just want to take the mantis and leave. Though if things go poorly the mantis is the monk’s daughter and if our group fractures then we even loose that and it just becomes an all around shitty experience really tainting what started out as a fun campaign.

If you ever find yourself DMing a game of DnD I hope you take away two things from this. 1. Don’t do invisible timers. It’s just sort of shitty. 2. If your players are invested in their characters no reward will be as good as succeeding particularly if it’s for another character. And nothing hurts more than failing a member of your party.

[umihoshi]

My fave nat 20 moments (part 2)

Sometimes people fail to realize wizards are naturally squishy and do not make for a good frontliner. at level 2, our wizard was killed quite coldbloodedly. Having loved his character, being just a bit salty, and knowing the world and the other characters better now, our member made who was going to be 'mister perfect maincharacter'. half human-tiefling, bard/warlock, half-brother of the other tiefling, tortured into forgetting his identity. you know, the unbridled edgy stuff. Point was: he had somewhat of a split personality (just to make him that extra bit special)

having just met him, we were still fumbling with recognizing when he was split-person A or split-person B. so at some point, my character and his had been apart for a little, my monk girl met up with him again and I asked 'can I figure out which one he is right now?' 'roll for perception.' 'nat 20! woop!' 'you, and only you, will now know at all times which one he currently is.'

Being the only one who always knew made for a special bond between our characters. There were times he pretended to be side B, (side A doesn't remember his sister) and deceive his way through not getting things complicated. And if his deception didn't work out, my character would just walk in, not knowing the situation and be like 'morning, A!' Or sometimes she'd help him out make the deception more convincing to avoid conflict (tiefling sister hated side A, because she wanted her brother back) And so there were a lot of moments where my monk noticed things about him that were different from his other side, or alike to his other side. side-A was scared to lose his side, so she promised to remember everything for him. and like that, he talked to her a lot about himself (which he normally wouldn't do a lot) He decided to live as only one side for a while, side-B consciously backing off. she'd get angry and didn't want to lose either. And she felt guilty for starting to like one better than the other, because she was more aware of the contrast. (all the more because it was the side who didn't remember his sister)

So when, after like a year of playing, he merged into one person and she couldn't recognize who was who anymore, she was super distressed. That was also the last we saw of him for a long while (his player took over as DM for a while) so for months, she was scared one of the sides would be lost forever and she didn't know which one. (she feared it was the side she liked best and felt terrible for picking favorites) And she was then so relieved that he was still both sides, but as one, when we found him back. And now she can still see certain aspects of A or B within him and is very in sync with how well she knows him, and he knows her.

and very soon, she will have her heart broken, because he's in love with someone else :') all because she got a very good look at him that one time.