#abbrasive

[deadtiredghost]

The smart of heart, dumb of ass trio

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

have we really decided to start calling fellow trannies pickme girls now. are you fucking 14?? something something "me when i definitely have respect for other trans women," right?

[doomednarrative]

Absolutely incredible the difference the scene is where you tell Astarion about the scars on his back when you're just going for a friend route vs when you're romancing him btw. He is WAY more willing to trust Tav/Durge with that info when they've already proven they don't intend him any harm and presumably have already seen it before at the party.

I didn't get that scene with Virl until way towards the end of Act 2, and even then Virl's relation to him is still only Fair so he was very apprehensive about the whole thing. But with Kallos, who's at Very Good with him (and who's also a Tiefling which helps), he was way more receptive to letting him read it and much more appreciative about the help.

It makes sense of course, if I were him I'd closely guard my own scars and letting someone I travel with but am not Especially close to see those would put me on edge too. It's just the sheer difference in attitude/tone between those two scenes that really got me on this durge run.

[struttinevilshroom]

I listened to On GP by Death Grips for 5 hours straight yesterday and I think you should too!

[many-gay-magpies]

you know that feeling when you slip on some old stairs or concrete and catch yourself with your hand, but end up tearing off some of the top layer of your skin so its all raw, exposed, burning new skin underneath? sensory overload is like that but for your brain.

[spotlightstudios]

I think that if anyone were to get infected w/ the Afton Virus in CO, it'd be N. Not that like, she's particularly murderous or reclusive or anything. She's just inherently a little mean and works in *direct contact* with all the visual effect equipment.

Just uhh... wouldn't put it past her to activate Glitchtrap as a hologram program or smth and just go, "Oh yeah. I can scare the hell out of some people with this." But she ends up brainwashed before that can ensue.

[sock-to-the-third]

All Systems Red

By Martha Wells

MURDERBOT. IS. SO. FUCKING. ADORABLE.

*inhuman shrieking*

Some fics flex alot of personality through description like it’s a 2nd set of dialogue. Wells kills at this. I just utterly fell in love with how Murderbot’s awkwardness is betrayed mixing with wanting to retain its privacy.

The different systems of SecSystem, Medical and the HubSystem that control different parts of the habitat is so cool. From how the survey team got the bargain pack of cheaper assortment of equiptment to how Murderbot’s backstory weaves in TvT poor guy. It may be half assing it but the kid’s got heart, I’ll tell you that.

*steps up on soap box*

Also, man, I am so glad to have a narrator who isn’t she or he. So tired of hearing the same pronouns over and over. It’s like “dude, vanilla and chocolate are tasty flavors but that ain’t all there is.”

Not the same as an enby it/its since Murderbot didn’t chose basically anything about itself down to its name but you can at least pretend. Hard to genuinely believe an author actually wants a character to be non-binary unless they at least switch up the pronouns SOMEWHERE.

Still. All Systems Red is in 1st person but luckily Murderbot listens in on other people’s conversations so you get more pronouns than usual.

*steps off soap box*

Anyway, descriptive text isn’t what I’m used to but it gets the job done. Dialogue and narration is more of a focus and so bloody rich. *mwah!*

Volescu, Pin-Lee, Bharadwaj and Arada don’t get a ton of text-time but Mensah, Ratthi and Gurathin do.

While I do love me a Mensah being all supportive and trying to help Murderbot work with humans. Gurathin is where its at. Quiet dude but abbrasive af to Murderbot, asking all sort of prying questions and never trusting it.

Even after Murderbot saved their asses, doubt Gurathin (despite being augmented) would’ve helped Murderbot from its contract.

Top that off with how Mensah contrasts at the end of it, TvT so good. She’s so sweet but in that childification way toward Murderbot at the end.

Like “oh yeah, you won’t get shot at but we arranged this whole life for you and we’ll get you educated like your a baby and not a fully-sentient adult.” Its so cool Wells played it all out, then was like NOPE.

*cue Murderbot fucking off on a transport

It just makes it so much more compelling having the constant skepticism of Gurathin contrasted with Mensah’s paternalism.

Ratthi has a little bit with insisting on talking out feelings. But I get from Ratthi that he isn’t doing this out of “you’re a kid, let me help out” and more “i want you to be included! You’re part of the team.”

Still glad that Wells let Ratthi be busy and let Mensah take the forefront for the “future” if Murderbot let humans decide it for it. I also liked how it considered going along with it.

Then the “owner” —> “guardian”

Such a good quote. Def going to save it. It just hits home the whole thing.

Done rambling. But just fuck man. This book is so good! Definitely going to write something robot oriented soon.

Prev: Compulsory

Sequel: Artificial Condition

[thlaylisden]

My transformer babes Vazor, a Decepticon enginer that plucks autobots/dead vehicons apart to create weapons for Megatron and his army. he is very lonely in his own medbay assigned to him,but hes loyal to the cause and hasn't dissapointed yet. hes abbrasive,grumpy but has a good sense of humor. Transforms into a BMW M4. Deathtail :(my very first OC that i made back in the day when i watched TFP) An F-15 with predacon like parts because of her fierce and loyal yet chaotic neutral personality. she hasn't chosen a side and just helps either cause. Vazor tries to keep pulling her towards the 'Con side though.

[melkormajere]

Disabled characters in fantasy and why the entire bullshit surrounding the ableistic arguments about disabilities in fantasy. Where people think that mobility devices in gaming could 'easily' be 'fixed' with magic and why it is incredibly frustrating.

OR What Raistlin Majere means to me as a disabled person. a Rant.

Why Raistlin Majere (And other disabled characters are important in fantasy). There's been a lot of discussion of accessibility devices being used in games. Talking about how it's 'lazy because magic can fix everything'. We would not have any of Dragonlance if it wasn't for Raistlin Majere. He is a canonically disabled mage, who was kinda (was) a jerk. He was very nuanced and important. Basic mage needs and 'spellslots' are an important part of fantasy. Much like our human bodies that require rest and nourishment, fantasy doesn't eliminate that. Raistlin Majere went to become a real mage and had to go through excruitating trials to prove he was capable of wearing his mage robes. During all of that he did some BAD things, and he offered his body to a even worse mage to help him. The Mage drained him regulary. Raistlin already was born disabled. His own self loathing against his able bodied brother was interesting, and while I could write tons about that too, that isn't what this is about entirely because there's more than that. He often felt left out, tired and rather useless and magic was what gave him 'strength'. Due to multiple things that happened to him he wanted to challenge the gods themselves and become the most powerful mage. (There's a lot more to this but for simplifying we are going with this). This is also not me condoning using disability as a 'punishment', but Raistlin already was disabled and was further pained when doing his mage trial. I've seen arguments about how gods/temples would help anyone disabled and therefore disabilities wouldn't work. Someone took a tiny bit of pity (ugh) on him and offered him something to help ease his pain, let's just call it medication for simplicity sake again. That was the most charity, even the most powerful clerics couldn't heal him or help him, whether in childhood or adulthood. Eventually he almost completely healed himself but was still very much dealing with various forms of pain, whether emotional etc. He is known as the most powerful wizard on krynn.

If we take all of that away we take away an incredibly interesting character whose disabilities helped elevate the games in which he was played in. When you work together you can accomplish so much more. When his friends were actual friends they accomplished so much together they seriously did. Yet due to his abbrasive personality he was rarely praised for the war of the lance until much later. Even his title of "hero of the lance" always seemed to come with talks about him being rather shitty until later. Throughout Dragonlance as a series (beyond the core novels) we have a lot of disabled characters and throughout the years as humans become more aware of how to write disabled characters differently we have gotten a lot more out of them and a lot more of them each providing such interesting parts to these beloved books. At an even simpler level we have gollum/smeagol, another canonical disabled charater who was kinda dick too. However without him, Frodo may not have been able to actually destroy the ring at all, and if we go even deeper into Tolkien's lore we can discover more disabled characters whether titled as such or not that seemed to be a reflection of what he experience during the war and coming back. Disabilities exist in fantasy and in the real world, and some of us chose to create characters with disabilites, and I'd really much like to believe that we can get along because the world is already inaccessible enough. Let your players use various modes of accessability if needed/wanted. Erasing these beautiful and nuanced characters would erase so much of what makes fantasy so incredible and accepting. It's always been such a mostly accepting genre, it's a way to fantasize and sometimes it's nice even in a regular day to fantasize what a beautifully crafted accessability device might look like. So rather than argue online for hours for "why disability makes no sense in fantasy" could we change it to " I am capable of creativity and inclusion". It's your fantasy game, so you get to be beautifully creative.

However, if you REALLY would take away disabilities in game because it's your fantasy game then say bye to

Raistlin Majere

Frodo -Gollum

Toph

John Silver

Captain Hook

Your random peg legged pirate

Your eye patch

Geordi La Forge

Vader

Luke

Furiosa

Matt Murdock

Professor X

Deadpool

Kanan Jarrus

Steven Strange

Bucky Barnes

War Machine

Elijah Price (And so so many more this is the lazy amount because I am SO FUCKING FED UP OF PEOPLE NOT BEING INCLUSIVE IN DND SPACES AND ONLINE) Brought to you by an angry disabled person. (I love you take good care of yourselves, also this is nuanced and not entirely encompassing all my thoughts nor does it have to be your view as a disabled person. I love you be good to yourself today please.)

[itchyeye]

@apocalypticsinn replied to your post “ok. i'm giving the first episode a shot.”:

Oh noooOOOO welcome to hell :,) Alice remains like this the entire series btw and it just. It doesn’t get better. The newest episode I wanted to strangle her- I’m VERY interested in hearing your full thoughts on even just this first episode-!

​whgau first thing's first i am touched to hear you're interested in my thoughts

ok so overall it was very bad. @socvinc is correct that the sound mixing is fantastic, especially contrasted against s1 of tma which was shoestring budget dogshit. but then again this new show was funded by a seemingly boundless supply of patreon dollars so it fucking better sound expensive!!

alice is absolutely insufferable. you could stick a classroom full of twelve year old bronies (and i mean the og 2010s bronies not the gen z post ironic queer reclamation kind) in front of a hundred typewriters for all of time and they would eventually produce every single thing that has ever come out of alice's mouth. sure, it seems like gwen and most other people are annoyed with her, so at least she isn't being treated as funny and charming in-universe!! but absolutely fucking impossible to listen to. will not be putting myself through more of that.

also, the general animosity and malaise is unearned. sure, we have all been at jobs where everyone is burnt out and nobody cares anymore. but there's a sort of creeping realization that comes with that. even if things are bad right off the bat, they still get worse as you familiarize yourself with your new surroundings.

to have your exposition be alice telling sam that nothing matters and there is no point to his job and everything is stupid and he shouldn't even be here just makes me hate her. it doesn't matter that she's doing it to give gwen a moment to shine and prove her diligence and dedication. it immediately makes alice a deeply unlikeable character. she is relentlessly negative and cynical and lazy and we have been given ZERO justification for why she would be so abbrasive to someone just starting a new career!! plus she's fucking annoying so the cards are REALLY stacked against her.

and the relentless gloomy bleakness of the Archives was so. so. so. earned. all of s1 had this slow slow sloooooow build up of tension and horror and false leads and red herrings and SUDDENLY WORMS. SASHA'S DEAD. TIDAL WAVE OF WORLD-ENDING WORMS. THREE DREAD POWERS AT ONCE. AND EVERYONE HAS PTSD AFTERWARDS AND STILL HAS TO COME IN TO WORK. JON'S GONE OFF THE FUCKING DEEP END. THEN S2. NO ONE CAN LEAVE. WE'RE ALL TRAPPED HERE LIKE RATS IN A SINKING SHIP.

the gloom and malaise and desperation is real and tangible and you are there with the characters as it builds. it's rewarding and dynamic. opening episode 1 with "everyone hates it here bc it's very spooky and bureucratic" is just a pale and unsuccessful immitation of the slowburn that MADE the archives what they were.

also the very first little mini statement was so lame??? no build up. no atmosphere. no character development. not even a short story, just a tumblr uquiz option. "i saw my husband but he was Shaped Wrong and also dead" jesus christ...

i might listen to episode 2 just because i have time to kill but being dropped into the middle of an office party gave me traumatic tma s5e1 flashbacks and i can't live through that again. one of my tmp anons who mentioned it was very office-banter based was SOOOO right. the majority of the episode felt like those incorrect-quotes accounts that clog up tumblr search results. just people i don't know and voices i don't recognize having weird try-hard conversations.

oh that's another glaring difference: the dialogue and voice acting in tma feels incredibly natural. the way conversations are written and the way they are performed feels believable, like listening to recordings of people who do not know they're being recorded. the conversations in tmp feel like watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s in that every line feels really rigidly scripted. no one talks over one another. no sounds overlap. there are no natural sounding pauses or stutters. just bad sitcom dialogue. BUT as i said to anon.... that's what the people want.

overall feels like an ogfic "inspired by" tma that i would have no interest in reading. a pale immitation of lightning in a bottle.

can't say i blame them. we all have bills to pay. but i can say i resent them.

[docilepillow]

April 2024 Media diary

yea im good thanks PSEUDOREGALIA

by part this game and by part not really this game's kinda burning me out lol like the games objectively good i think its just the game style and some of the design choices that kind of abbrasively make me not like this game as much as i should like i love goats i love platformers i love metroidvanias but after finishing this game i dont really say i lik it persay but at the end i can only bring myself to only hate aspects of it , more then anything? like the ccombats ok its nothing flashy. and like. the main mechanic of this is wall kicking, whicch feels cool as hell . the movement in this game is great. but with how hands-off it is , and in combination with the nonlinearity and intended sequence breaking you can do, it is * horrifically * easy to get lost. i hear an earlier version of this game didn't even have a map, which is awful for this genre in my opinion. id describe this game as very frustrating and it feels like 90 percent of the time you're hitting your head against a wall trying to go anywhere, which, for some people, is absolutely fantasstic. im sure trying to fedangle around with this moveset is awesome. but i spent most of the game just wanting to get the full moveset as soon as possible, because, allthough a completely deterministic game as far as i'm aware, progressing from place to place feels really convoluted. i feel like in between grunting " ugh " and " I want this to be over with " and " god i wish there was an upgrade for this " and " i'm SO lost..! " the game has great ambiance and area design and theres plenty to do, i just kinda wish you had like . a few more quality of life features in the game. like . idk. like an area completion counter for each area, or a cursor for where you're located on the map.... Then again , i dont think thiss game was designed with that in mind, so i think it's just a shame or for people that just aren't like me. Yea, sybil is cute, i guess. ill give credit for that. i just cant really see that over what's , for the bulk of it, a stressful affair that feels like guesswork and trail and error. if this game ever gets a big qol update, i'd probably love it a whole lot more, but once again, i'm pretty sure thats an intentional artistic decision to reflect the era it's from . i went into this wanting to like it a whole lot more, i promise, but this is like a 5 out of 10 game ( for me personally ) ... i basically spent alot of it mentally appologizing to nmh2 for some reason. i need a break for today. i'm kind of really dissapointed right now THE CROODS video game movie

its cool

Also, on the topic of mario maker 2, which, technically, i finished last month, i DID in fact finish mario maker 2's story mode! i simply neglected to before andd i think it's okay. i think its a little bit better then the 3ds version's array of levels, and, playing them so close together, i'm honestly surprised they didn't try to impliment the acheivements you can get in those levels in this game, given the fact that so much is tracked by clear conditions in MM2. i wonder if that was a prototype feature they tried early in 3ds before implimenting it in the sequel? Oh well. i'm glad they just ddint implliment the clear condition where you cant get grabbed by claws, those are just the absolute worst..!

Daemonis Algebra

https://gothbingarbage.itch.io/daemonisalgebra

This one's actually nice and special, because i can say some friends of mine made it! It's for a gamejam, so it's pretty simple, but i think it's relatively effective for the kind of hectic gameplay they were going for with it. I'm actually a little bit clumsy when it comes to assembling the little " creature " you're putting together by running around the map, and, i get the sense they're supposed to match,but, given my luck / level of coordination, my creatures usually end up looking something like this --

Oops. It very much affectionately reminds me of older styled flash games you'd find on coolmath, though it's definitely a lot more polished then most of the ones i think of aestetically and mechanically. You just kind of dash around and collect charming little monster parts. It's a little hard to figure out what part's a leg or an arm or the like sometimes ( I actually thought my animal's head was an arm ); but i'm really confident in saying thats a genuine creative decision- it's kind of like a cute little cartoon dilema. i absolutely love this game's cute spritework and music!!!!!!!!!! go play it right now stupid!!!!!

( I Got Sidetracked And Am Doing The Entries For Everything Below At The Last Minute Because Of Nocturne ) THE PRINCESS BRIDE

I've seen this movie before, but i think it still holds up good. An overall solid movie with basically everything you could want from a classic film. Very very watchable with people or alone. You can't really complain with the film at all but i dont havve any new thoughtss on it or anything pokemon scarlet violet epilogue

TLDR; techniiicallly i've finished scarlet-violet a long, long time ago, and i mostly just.... forgot about it up until decently recently, after the prior movie i think, and was prodded to give it a try by a friend. I think some of the writing at the start is charming enough and it's not completely a waste like the rest of the game , but i'm still of the strong opinion that this dlc isn't even half the bar set by Swoshi's entire DLC lineup, which is a little bit sad.... I guess that's what happens when you rush out an open world supermassive entry in a series known for scopecreep and capital interest..? That seems a bit cynical, but I don' t really remember much of my thoughts about it in retrospect, now. It's a little out of the way, but i'd hate to see what happens to this event when servers go down and you can't get pecharunt's item anymore.

POKEROGUE

There isn't really a good image to represent this game, so just the logo will do, i guess. TLDR, I think this is a fangame with a cute idea, and psudo-decent execution , but it's definitely still a work in progress. the earlygame grind where you're just trying to get started is absolutely brutal in a way that is simply just---- timeconsuming and not that much fun at all. If you want to check out the game yourself, I reccomend catching a paldean tauros as soon as possible so you can use it at the start of future runs. The basegame is set to last around 200 rounds, so it's definitely a massive time commitment to try, but once you do get a run going, it can be fun. I still think the earlygame needs ironing out and some of the moves aren't fully implemented yet because it's still new. I'll be honest and mostly say i jumped on this one out of a bandwagon. If you're curious to see me try a run, this clip might still be up for anyone to watch, but i wouldn't count on it forever - https://streamable.com/44j2v2 STRONG BAD'S COOL GAME FOR ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

( The first 4 episodes, out of 5 . I ran out of time, once again, thanks to nocturne. Oops! )

SBCGFAP on wiiware is a game based around homestar runner, which i've mostly come to appreciate only recently this year. I got into it around February, where me and my boyfriend incidentally started watching it around the tail end of our trip. A few months later, and i'm super endeared by this show's writing style! It sort of feels like how something like Castlevania or Spore feel like to me now, in that it's not really a thing that's upkept anymore that much, with sparing crumbs of new stuff to see thrown out in little rations . So, when i got home, and, having recently re-modded my wii u ( And, with a Vwii setup, in part due to my sister wanting to play the overseas unreleased Mystery Dungeon games, the means to play wiiware in a way that i'm sure would've been fine to set up, actually, because dolphin is also awesome, just, more convenient for me because it wouldn't be taking up my laptop's storage space ) ; i proposed playing this game with him in call , which we did for a while! I'd say as a complete novice to the Point N' Click and also Telltale Game genre that the writing was pretty suitable. The scenarios are mostly just standard homestar runner stuff, and it did keep a big smile on my face. I actually think my favorite episode so far was the first one, looking back on it, considering how much Homestar is in it and how the puzzles ended up being lighter, but that's to my own preference. I think these games are worth looking into if you have a modded Wii U around, which im sure some people do. I imagine most people getting into HSR would've already watched a lets play or something on youtube already..! Anyway, i think this is good. i think people should give it a try even outside the inherit fact that this game is nearly lost media. I didn't get to finish the trogdor episode more then halfway before getting sidetracked by college preperation stuff. Sorry.. PORTAL 2 - COOPERATIVE TESTING INITATIVE ( technically properly capitalized! )

I've actually never finished any of the portal games! I'm too stupid to finish them ! But my boyfriend is hella into it and I know the story stuff already! And we both haven't done the co-op stuff before! So we did ! On a whim ! And i don't QUITE feel comfortable putting it on my backloggd until i at least finish the singleplayer campaign as well, so that puts me in a neat spot! id like to think i wasnt ccomplete dead weight in this playthrough but i was a little dumb. this game leads to fun banter and silly fun though it lends itself well to being coop and it's not as confusing as it would be when you're working with someone compitent who can backseat you as you completely misinterpret his directions. I'm honestly shocked how high the steam statistic for clearing this mode is , look at this ---

Do a fifth of people really play this???? I can kind of believe that but really ? damn! ! ! ! thats pretty cool you dont usually see numbers like this for modes like this. I'm a little bit sad there aren't more multiplayer co-op experiences like this, but that's kind of what makes them special in the first place. SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI III - NOCTURNE

This game has been one i've been procrastinating on trying since finishing SMT IV and IV-A nearly a year ago now, just in part because of it's reputation as a brutal, arduous journey of an RPG. I've heard many good things about this game. I've heard many bad things about this game. I've heard many things about this game's remaster, and I have it bought on both Steam and PS4. I dunno. Just because it was an SMT game on PS4. The primary thing that's making me finish it now is mostly just in part due to the only game i'm looking forward to, shin megami tensei V - Vengeance, coming out in around a little over a month as of typing this-- and, considering V on switch was how i got into the game, i MOSTLY know what to expect. Though, i never got to finish the DLC in that game . AND if i finished nocturne, i could confidently tackle every ounce of that game's new content under a fresher lens then JUST a series newcomer. I have really high hopes for V-V, but that's not really what this game is about. I knew already in advance that i would need to section off a very large period of time for this game going in , so I basically ended up sticking to logging in a couple of hours over the whole month when not fixating on anything else media wise or when not doing important college preperation shit that I need to get done and in fact STILL HAVE THINGS TO DO FOR. And still i only just barely about had enough time to do it!!! SMT nocturne , for the most part, and as long as you have some expectation and experience in the traditional RPG genre, isn't actually that bad difficulty wise. Like, as long as you're prepared, you'll actually fare way better then in some of the other games in the series that i've played, which is nice. Like, outside something like a super unlucky light / dark magic oneshot hitting you once and a while, as long as you're dilligent and prepare and use the systems you're given, you'll live. Like, i'm not gonna say this is how you get into SMT, but it's reputation is only MOSTLY overblown as unfair and stupidly difficult. But, because i'm stupid, and dont understand the ramifications of my actions, i went for the best ending on my first playthrough, cus, once again, i'm using it as a thing to do before SMT 5 V comes out so i can fully enjoy both. Now, apparently, for most people, it takes 110 hours or so to do the " true demon " ending, but i mostly went in , i dont wanna say rushing, but i mostly went through the game with as little as i'd need to thrive, i guess. optimized? Idk. I think most of the game is very intuitave and very enjoyable. its very somber and very dungeon crawly, and i think its gameplay rules. i think i like IV more still but i think this game is cool most of the time when you don't get cosmiclly unlucky . but like. the final bosses of this game are just fucking cheaterss that kill you . the last dungeon of this game took me like 10 hours by itself its insane thats like my only gripe. like. sometimes id pull up a guide when a boss has like null physical and it kills me because the game doesn't let you double check matchups like the games after it, or when theres a particularly convoluted way forward ( Note - by convoluted, i mostly just mean, i'm too stupid to navigate most 3d games without getting lost at some point unless it's perfectly linear ), or just for convenience, but it's a very fair level of challenge for most of the way if you know what to look out for. my only regret with this game is i'm sorry about any friend discussions ive completely halted by bringing this game up all the time in conversation. oops... That and it takes a surprising amount of effort to go through alos idkd idkd ddikd i just wnana get this log done its way too late at night also i was assuming naively that Nocturne would be my 100th logged game since i've started documenting my own media diaries, but because of how things turned out, it's closer to the 97th on backlogged. Oops! That's an arbitrary achievement only i care enough about! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aloi9Cj6wFA

[the-admin-but-dumber]

Unlikely Friendships

   Wheatley never understood Magnus, or people in general, this was Romeo’s generation of mortals and they were far different from the underneath. Since his defeat, they never bothered to communicate or engage with many of Romeo’s generation of people. Especially Magnus, he was loud, abbrasive, hot headed, and increadibly impulsive.   And not to mention destructive, Wheatley hated to see the world in shambles, torn to bits by explosives and Boomtown was full of uncovered craters and leveled terrain. They could just never imagine getting to.. Know Magnus.     Magnus felt equally as such, Wheatley was too passive for his taste, he wasn’t fun! He strayed away from the destructive beauty he created, cowered at the sound of explosions and covered their ears. They never seemed interested in what Magnus had to say, never bothered to stop and say ‘Hello!’ and certainly didn’t seem interested in engaging in Magnus’ explosive activities.     But it was all Jesse’s idea, ‘Get to know each other! You need some socialization.” Jesse always seemed so keen that Wheatley got to know the Old Order and Beacontown’s residents in general. Of course Jesse wasn’t wrong, Wheatley had grown incredibly lonely in the days that passed, cooped up in the terminal so long his fur had grown knotted and unkept. Where would be the harm in trying?   Who would have known it could have gone so well? It took some arguments, back and forth, and some tossed words but as days passed they found each other grown accustomed to each other. Wheatley reminded Magnus of Ellegaard, she was always so isolated and smart-mouthed and since her passing it was almost nice to hear the constant nagging about hygiene and keeping safe from dangers.    It started with Magnus pestering the admin about why they didn’t like explosions. “They’re loud, they’re fine for a moment but then you hear the hiss and it’s akin to a creeper. You feel cold, blood drains from your face and before you know it your senses are filled with.. Chaos. The ringing rocks your head, the ground shakes beneath your feet and rattles your heart and bones. The sound travels for miles, and admins have sensitive hearing, sensitive in general. We experience everything on a heightened level, we’ll never be hurt by the explosion but the experience is enough to drive us away.” And so, Magnus had a plan. Was it a good one? Of course not, it’s Magnus.     Wheatley seemed unsure when Magnus had come to them the first time with the idea in hand, scribbled messily on a piece of paper. It was trecherous, possibly life threatening, but with the presence of an admin Magnus had all the confidence in the world! Of course.. It took weeks of convincing to make Wheatley agree.    And there they were now, Magnus pushing the limit his body gave him to charge down the walkway made from TNT summoned at the admin’s command, with each step the TNT lit up behind him, falling into the empty sky below them and exploding a great distance down without the risk of it hitting the earth below.  Magnus’ heart raced as he chased the green admin through the sky, chanting and yelling excitement with Wheatley’s enthusiastic encouragement.       Blocks of TNT appeared a few feet ahead him at all times, ensuring he’d not fall and plummet to the world below, even if he knew Wheatley would be there to catch him. It felt strange to put trust in someone he’d only met a few months before, but the toothy grin Wheatley gave him without an ounce of hesitation assured him that their unlikely friendship wasn’t just some appearance mumbo jumbo to stop Jesse’s constant badgering.

WOW, okay, so I don’t really write much so be nice with this I wrote it up in like under an hour because I drew this funny sketch and had inspiration to make a sweet little short story about Wheatley and Magnus’ friendship. Depending on who lives, Wheatley obviously befriends Ellie or Magnus but I wanted to do this one first for the funnies. Should I do Ellie next? I had the idea to do something like this for each member of the Old Order as Wheatley does *try* and befriend each other them out of curiosity and Jesse’s encouragement, Romeo made them afterall and they need to get out more.  Idk let me know :eyes:  I love my stupid little admin guy I hope you guys do too <3

[astorythatwritesitself]

Shepard AMA Round 5!

I had the day off and couldn't play anything so writing it is! I'm also likely going to go through the past ones again in the near...ish.... future, since development has been kicking for a good year or so and I've gotten some things ironed out. In the meantime, though!

(As always, almost anything discussing Adrian as a character carries major CWs for discussions of suicidal thoughts/self destructive/harmful tendencies)

And as always, question list from the fantastic @spookyvalentine ! Have fun lol

1. What is Shepard’s favorite store on the citadel?

    Less a single store, and more of a shopping area - there's a little plaza in Bachjret Ward that functions as an open market, with vendors constantly changing out. It's a great place to get specialty items - particularly ingredients and flowers, there's a long tradition of hobbyist gardeners who've specialized in growing niche plants on space stations, but you'll find a lot of... for lack of better phrasing, garage-sale type setups too. Adrian's father usually took her there to pick out a treat or otherwise just enjoy the crowds, when the Shepards wound up at the Citadel when she was a kid; and even during the events of the series she would stop by there to find something special for the crew.

2. What is the public’s opinion/awareness of Shepard?

   Varied - actually kind of a low opinion through most of ME1 - there was a lot of speculation that the hunt against Saren was a coverup for something else, and the human getting promoted to Spectre just seemed. Weird and not everyone trusted it lol. Adrian actually damn near tanked her reputation after Virmire; if Sovreign hadn't shown up when it did, she'd probably be cemented as 'that weirdo who tried to proposition Counciler Tevos in front of everyone'. ME2 era sees a solid split in human opinions, due to her 'humanity isn't more important to me than any other species' stance; but she's become quite popular among quarian and krogan crowds; generally she's regarded as a solid hero; which carries strongly into & beyond 3.

3. Armax arsenal arena: do they participate? How do they like it?

  She'd probably give it a few goes, and actually pick it up a lot more post-war, once she's out of the Alliance. Those instincts aren't going anywhere, after all, and it actually becomes kind of a way to face down some of the like. Trauma lol.

4. Shepard wakes up in an alternate universe. What tips them off?

Define the alternate universe xD ... actually, since I am writing that 'Shep & Thane get to live' AU - waking up at all, and that everyone else is seeing Thane would do it. (Or, sticking her in my other favorite video game... that she is on a world where there's giant terrifying beasts but they just want to be friends is. Weird. But she can gel with becoming a pokemon trainer.)

5. What kind of relationship does Shepard have with Javik?

 

Weird - but it becomes fairly friendly, and she's actually kind of grateful to have him around, because she's been spending the last couple years with a degree of thought patterns and instincts that are alien beyond anyone's comprehension, and it's so... just. Isolating. He's a little abbrasive for her taste otherwise, but she's dealt with worse and would still choose to hang out with Javik over a few others lol.

6. The first thing a person notices about Shepard’s appearance:

  In ME1 - the scars. She works to downplay them, but she could never bring herself to seek reconstructive surgery/otherwise actually like... cover them. Post-Lazarus though... it's her eyes, probably. Very expressive, and they're that sort of deep, still brown that's a little striking at first. (Or a lot striking, if you're asking a certain drell-)

7. How approachable are they?

Adrian radiates some weird invisible 'Please Tell Me I'm Useful' aura that drags people in, no matter how much she tries to put up a prickly stance, and unfortunately it takes until like 2189 until she feels comfortable saying 'no'. (And to her friends... she's not really 'approachable', because most of the time /she's/ coming to /them/ first xD)

8. What is the difference between me1 and me3 Shepard? Do they notice, or does someone have to point it out?

   ME1 Adian is nervous but collected, and very good at keeping her internal issues on the inside, where they belong, because of course she can't be a burden; she's a good soldier who will follow orders and do whatever she can for others; and it's not until her death that her crewmates realize... huh, she's happy to listen to our problems, however deep they run, but her answers, when they asked about her? Kind of... shallow.

ME3 Adrian is. Uh. CW for suicidal tendencies in the canon section.

Good end: Openly frightened but there's a lightness to her that's never been there before, and she no longer speaks about the future like she's not going to be there; she's prioritizing her goals and what she feels needs to be done, regardless of damage to her, the Alliance, or the Council's reputations.

Canon: A determined, selfless hero who will see things through to the end, and if she somehow survives... it won't be for long because she is goddamn /done/ with existing.

9. Did/does Shepard have any alien biases?

She's got a soft spot for the krogan, quarians and geth; and has a lot of thoughts about the way first contact with the drell was handled, and this was /before/ meeting Thane.

10. How do they handle a teammate being badly injured during a mission?

     Extremely well, all things considered - her intial training and official designation /did/ partially center around being a field medic, after all, so she kind of slips into that detached headspace of assessment and appropriate follow-up that keeps any anxiety at bay for a while; and usually by the time it hits, they afflicted teammate is at least stable enough that she can work through it well. (Garrus' being hit on Omega was probably the closest she got to totally cracking on the job, as it were.)

11. Who is in their inner circle?

    Ashley, Wrex, EDI, Joker, Miranda and, of course, Thane, wind up the closest to her in the end. (She was also quite close to Kaiden and Mordin, before their deaths; and she's not necessarily on bad terms with any of the other crewmates - but with the likes of like, Tali, Jack, Grunt and Garrus? They're all more like... she had to be strong for them, there's more of a mentor-ish vibe there where she maintained a certain... veneer of having it together, and the others fall into good friend, great to hang out with, but not quite the same level of 'I am willing to let you see me hurt and crying' closeness).

12. What does Udina think of them?

  He'd Rather Not, Thank You. (I.e: He had very high hopes but oh dear god, Shepard is. Such a mockery of his hopes for the first human Spectre, and his only solace is that she manages to piss off the Council about as much as she crosses him.)

13. What does Shepard think of Saren?

     She's... honestly not sure. Annoyed with him at first, but after realizing he was indoctrinated for quite some time, and doing some research... in the end? She just feels sorry for him, and wishes there was something else that could have been done.

14. Is Shepard’s first death publicized? (Since in game seems both people know about it and the alliance covered it up)

  To a degree - there were theories that she was in some deep-cover operation, but the Alliance did officially declare her MIA/PKIA about a year after the Collector attack, and there was a memorial service.

15. Did they have any relationships pre-me1? Still around?

  Not really - Adrian's always been a little weird on the relationship front; there's a lot of sorting out of 'am I actually on the aromantic range or am I just terrified of being in love as a soldier because I've spent my entire life seeing how much hurt that tends to result in' (the answer is six of one, half a dozen of the other) that never gets done, so she mostly wound up with a few things that never got past a third date during her time in college; and it declined even further after Akuze. (And considering her partners were all Alliance, up til Thane... most of them aren't around any more, but there is another XO out there who is absolutely flabbergasted to see that tech nerd she slept with that one time suddenly all over the news...)

16. What additions did Cerberus give Shepard?

      I play it as pretty mild, all things considered. Most of her organs are, to some extent, synthetic/artificially enhanced, a lot of reinforcements to her muscle and bones that have left her pretty durable. The biggest differences are that she got her left ear back, and to steal from some other HCs - the cybernetics mean her eyes kind of glow in the dark now - results in enhanced night vision, and delightful terror to unsuspecting crewmates!

 

17. Have they done any interviews? How did the first one go? And the most recent?

       The first interview she ever did was actually when she was a kid, and attending a biotics camp that had just accepted its first wave of human students, which consisted of Adrian and exactly one other kid - most human biotics were headed to BAaT, but Adrian's parents leaned towards 'you know we'll go with the people who've had like. Centuries. To figure this out' mindset. It went pretty well, and definitely set a tone for her future lol, since she was spending a lot of time around aliens and had a pretty positive opinion of the whole thing.

      Her most recent interview would probably be just after the Reaper War, and consists of 'I Am Retired Please Leave Me The Fuck Alone.'

18. What do they think of the alliance?

   It's been her entire life. Every home, most of her friends, her schooling, her career... all of it was steeped in the Alliance. It wasn't perfect - and there was a lot she wanted to change, but if she was a good enough soldier? Maybe she could make some changes, one day? By the time she realized no, no one soldier (however good) could make a real change to the entire system... well, Sunk Cost Fallacy is a bitch, she genuinely wasn't sure how she could function outside of Alliance structure. Post-Akuze left her extremely disillusioned - that no, they really did value image over integrity. She should have faced some punishment for her actions... and instead, she gets lauded as a hero and a survivor, an example of what humanity can endure, and she would basically lose her entire life if she ever spoke up otherwise... and like a good Alliance soldier, she was too scared of that unknown, so she played along and kept up the good looks.

19. What are they like, when in a bad mood? How obvious is it?

     She gets a little more terse and withdrawn, and her usual way of dealing with it is... pretty much dissociation, honestly. She can't snap because it'll be Bad For Image, or because the situation doesn't actually /warrant/ anger, or getting angry won't do anything to help... so. Yeah. Adrian gets angry and swallows it down and just kind of goes blank until her nerves are calmer. Completely healthy coping mechanisms.

20. Does Shepard’s armor hold any significance to them? What about a weapon?

  Eh... armor, not really; she often swapped it out. Weapons were also generally regarded as tools, kept well-maintained but without much attachment... until she got the Widow xD She fucking /loved/ that thing - it's big, it's sturdy, it can punch through damn near anything, it's beautiful.

21. What was Shepard like before the alliance?

  There was no pre-Alliance Shepard, really... but before active service, she was sligtly less anxiety-riddled and a little more hopeful? Not by /much/ though, tbh, she's just always been kind of tinged with sadness and fear.

22. What was the post-lazarus reunion between shepard and joker like?

     Damp.

There were a lot of tears - mostly on Adrian's part, because she had died only half-sure she actually got Joker out, so seeing he was alive... that was. A lot to process. Joker, meanwhile - like he knew this was coming, but hearing 'hey yeah we've got Shepard's frozen scorched corpse and we're gonna bring her back' and seeing her there were worlds apart.

23. Ever had a broken heart?

  Losing Kaiden counts in some respect - even if she wasn't sure if she did want to pursue something, there was /something/ blossoming there... and then, there wasn't. (She also very much suffers one in canon!ME3, losing Thane definitely breaks her in a way that never mends. And in my tweaked canon/They Live version... she gets a very intense familial heartbreak (: )

24. Are they funny?

   Moderately, and it works best when she's not trying to be funny.

25. Have they made pursuits into further education? Any degrees?

    Went to military college and got a degree in computer science (main focus was decryption and disruption), also took a few medical courses to supplement her combat medic goals. Post-wartime, she pursues education in literature and marine biology.

26. Does Shepard have a Twitter account

   Adrian has a few social media accounts, and nearly all of them are just there to grab it before someone can try to fake them, there's very little activity beyond Official Needs. (She is (anonymously) active on... for lack of better phrasing, space Tumblr, though. No text posts though, she is strictly there to post & share photography).

27. The last time they were rude to someone:

  Honestly, Adrian stays pretty polite? The only people she's really told to fuck off, in as many words, were The Illusive Man and Udina lol.

28. Does Shepard have any family?

   A fair bit! Both her mother and father are alive up through & beyond the events of ME3 - Hannah remains in the Alliance throughout, while her father leaves the Alliance in the years between Adrian's first death and resurrection, instead operating at low income clinics on the Citadel (and a volunteer medic during the Battle of London). Hannah's side also sees an aunt, two uncles, and grandparents; while Adrian Sr. was a foster kid who bounced between homes most of his life, and wasn't formally adopted - but he keeps in contact with the women who cared for him in those last couple years before he signed on with the Alliance, and Adrian did meet them a couple times. That said, most of Adrian's life was spent beyond the Charon relay, and she never actually visited Earth in person until she was a teenager; her relationship with her extended family was pretty distant and limited.

29. Does the alliance use their image for propaganda/recruitment? Did they agree to/want it?

   For a while, after her death - Adrian expressly denied permission while she was alive, but Hannah okayed digital reconstructions after Adrian's death - and oh god yeah the Alliance regretted the /shit/ out of it. 1: They were creepy as hell. 2: The public backlash was /intense/ - not just from civilians either; Ashley and Joker both sent in some very strong letters.

30. A moment that almost made Shepard quit:

   As bad as a lot of them were? None of them actually made her want to quit, really. After all, what else would she have, without the Alliance?

31. Ask Dr. Chakwas: what kind of patient is Shepard?

   A... consistent patient. Frequently in, because she's always doing something she shouldn't, but she's very tractable. Sits still, doesn't flinch or jump, gets a gold star and lollipop every time sort.

32. Is Shepard the type to give speeches?

   A little - she doesn't exactly /mean/ to, but also she has consumed far too much poetry so it leaks into her pep talks xD

33. What does the council think of their first human spectre?

   They'd Rather Not, Thank You. (Okay, actually, they're pretty impressed by the end of things, and they did at least appreciate that she took the charge of protecting the galaxy to heart - even among prior spectres, there was often a bias towards their own species, but Adrian really did exemplify that notion of protecting /everyone/ equally.)

34. What was Jack’s first impression of shepard? And now?

   "Oh dear god this fucking prissy bitch is going to be the death of me I am not falling into any uniform or behaviour requirements' lol. Definitely softens, especially since Adrian does really listen to her and doesn't like... try to /fix/ shit, she just listens and /will/ help but doesn't force it. (She also does kinda appreciate the fact that, Adrian is a nerd... but she's a nerd who knows and appreciates poetry so maybe that's something she can share with someone else?) In the end? Considers Adrian a very annoying but beloved older sibling.

35. How was that mako joyride from ilos to the citadel?

   White-knuckled terror for Adrian and Garrus. Best goddamn day of Tali's life cause she was at the wheel for it.

36. What was going through Shepard’s head, when they met Sovereign on Virmire?

   A Lot. A weird relief, because shit started falling into place. Existential terror of Lovecraftian proportions. And an undeniable flicker of curiosity and awe, because holy shit /sapient robot cuttlefish-/

37. What is their favorite way to eat potatoes

   Mashed with a lot of butter, garlic, salt and pepper; though she won't say no to a good jacket potato.

38. Lucky, or unlucky?

   It's all in how you look at things - many would say Adrian's lucky to have survived so much, after all. Adrian would... Respectfully Disagree and leave it at that. (She does count herself lucky for her friends, though.)

39. What would Shepard say their flaws are?

  That she is, at heart, a coward. She abandoned her squad on Akuze, and then was too afraid to speak out when the Alliance fudged things to save face; too afraid to leave the Alliance even once she started to hate it. She's bad at enforcing boundaries, and fears rejection enough that she'd rather make herself horribly uncomfortable than just say 'no' and have to deal with someone's disapproval.

40. What’s their pain tolerance like?

  Horrifyingly high, and this was pre-Lazarus. See 'will endure physical discomfort over rejection' above; Adrian just... kind of accidentally internalized a 'suck it up and deal' approach; to the point she tends to miss some mild injuries, and managed to stay conscious and moving despite thresher maw acid getting into her hardsuit and eating at her. Only increases post-Lazarus, she winds up... /mostly/ accidentally hurting herself a few times during the worst of it.

41. Shepard’s been turned into an animal! What are they?

    If she had a choice in the matter - Greenland shark or giant isopod. Going by general vibes though... Ross Seal. Look at em.

Shep go -laser sounds-

42. Does Shepard imagine what retirement will be like?

   In true canon? No. Adrian never does quite reconcile a life outside the Alliance, and fully expects - and after a while, /hopes/ - she'll just die relatively young in battle and not have to face the horrible gaping void that is the future.

   Tweaked canon? Not until most of the way through ME2 - the above still stands, but in the tweaked canon... she started spending time with Thane simply because he was also Doomed By The Narrative, and in this situation, had just... not pursued treatment for his condition, so there was a very grim but kind of pleasant mutual understanding of Things. But he's also on a ship with like some of the best medics in the galaxy and a lady who knows how to fix up organs, and saving Kolyat spurs him to see if anything can be done, or if it is too late. And /that/ leads to... not quite a fight, but a Strong Discussion that finally truly cracks through Adrian's whole... wall of Hell that everyone else has already started to wear down, that she finally allows herself to think, well, what if there /is/ a future for her?

  It's pants-shittingly terrifying and she hates it, because now everything is /so much scarrier and more fragile/, not to mention she still has no idea what it could actually /involve/, and even up through ME3's events, all she can really think of for if she survives (and gods help her, for the first time in her life, she's hoping she will)?

She'd like a home of some sort, with Thane. She'd like to learn how to cook. Anything else is still... too much. Too scary. But a home on solid ground and a new, useful skill. She can imagine those.   

43. What would they rather: wake up four years into the past, or four years into the future? Why?

   Tough call - assuming like, end of ME3? Adrian's... really not sure. She's done the timeskip into the future thing, and things did ultimately work out... and she's a little afraid, if she woke up in the past as she is 'now'? She might not be able to pull everything off a second time. So, future it is.

44. Does collateral damage matter to Shepard?

    To an extent - she doesn't like causing more damage than is necessary, but also if it's inanimate object vs someone getting hurt, welp, sucks to be an object.

45. Do they vote?

    Oh absolutely.

46. Favorite bar/club in the galaxy and why:

      Afterlife. The irony of having to go there immediately after coming back from being dead was kind of great, and the music is exactly her sort of jam - seriously, when she's scanning planets or building a ship she just has it on a loop. Idk she just vibes with it.

47. Do they let others take care of them?

Yeah she takes 'physician, heal thyself' a little too seriously and for... pretty much her entire life past 18, the only thing resembling care she'd really accept from others without (much) protest or immediately trying to do something in return was food, and that's because she could never get the hang of cooking even instant noodles.

48. How does Shepard feel about paperwork?

    Necessary, often annoying, but also it gets her out of her brain so that's why she's buried in it through ME2.

49. What do they wear to sleep?

Varies a little by temperature, but I imagine biotics tend to run hot so she's usually just in boxers. Maybe a tank top if it's chilly.

50. What was the last thing (non-email) shepard read? Book, play, poem, essay etc

    She's usually jumping between a couple books at one time! Through ME1 she's working through a collection of poetry from multiple species, the Cthulu mythos, and some middle-grade Spectre adventure books Joker sent her as a congratulations present (she actually rather enjoys them). ME2 is a lot of news, Revelation & Ascenion, and she dives /deep/ into hanar and drell poetry for. Reasons. Lockdown sees her pick up a subscription to a sci-fi/fantasy anthology and a couple knitting how-tos; and ME3 time leaves... very little time for reading. Most of what she goes through is the same prayer book Thane has.

   (She also has a couple books on gardening and cooking. Just in case.)

(+1 would you bang your shepard? Lol jk we all know the answer to that. Share your favorite fact about them!)

     In the Good End AU, Adrian and Thane wind up settling on, of all places, Akuze. It's a pleasant climate for him, and despite the memories... Adrian does find it lovely. And more importantly... it's like Omega but. Less. No one wants to lay serious claim to it because, Death Worms, so it's become prime real estate for dangerous sorts who are extremely tired and want to be left the fuck alone to exist in relative peace, they're too damn old and creaky for power plays any more.

The existing community is headed by an ancient krogan whose clan used to revere and work with thresher maws, she took her granddaughter there to pass on the old ways, and she's the one who has ultimate approval over who's in and who can try setting up somewhere else. Roz is a grouchy old bitch who doesn't keep up with the news, and even if she did, one human-drell couple looks the same as another as far as she's concerned, so what's it matter that she's just helped one settle up nearby? Get the fuck outta her town and leave her people alone or she'll get the shotgun.

[personallaptop]

darcys like junos opposite and i think thats why ive been enjoying rping them so much. junos all bark no bite, he is a 5'0 shithead high support needs autistic man with a personality disorder. he's aggressive and abbrasive and thinks the way to success is through force and cheatcodes. he takes everything personally and gets mad when it ISNT about him.

darcy on the other hand is almost uncomfortably dedicated to helping others, theyre a control freak but in a successful way, juno can't control anything but darc is so confident in their ability to prepare that they dont ever feel out of control. they take nothing personally because they dont recognize their own needs and love to psychoanalyze other people, and they love humans and life and BEING alive more than anything.

but unlike juno who is like a warm spirit once you finally open a cold jagged bottle, a man who, once you understand WHY he acts the way he does he becomes much easier to defuse and sit with. he'll shower you with gifts and affection and art and loyalty and experience. Darc is none of that. Underneath is a bloody red hot mess, begging for someone to hold them together and love them. They live inside oppressive metal casing that keeps them cramped and small and if you were to ever crakc it open like an egg you'd surely release hell.

[jcdas]

taylor russell. cis woman. she/her. ⸻ i saw BIRDIE LAMBERT around THE WOODS, you know? the 25 years old that was driving from BEAUFORT, SOUTH CAROLINA when they saw the tree on the road. BIRD has been here for SIX MONTHS and i think they were A MENDER before they got stuck in the town. with the way things are now, they are struggling to maintain a sense of normalcy and  seek a way out without losing themselves or dying. lets hope you at least survive the night on their own.

TELL ME / WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

full name    abilene lambert birdie faye lambert nickname(s)    bird, faye (birdie is reserved mostly for loved ones) age   twenty5 gender identity    cis woman orientation    unlabelled place of birth    beaufort, south carolina date of birth   august 16th faceclaim    taylor russell former occupation small-time mender & hitchhiker positive traits   ardent, perceptive, resilient negative traits   morbid, impetuous, delicate moral alignment   chaotic good parallels amma crellin (sharp objects), maren yearly (bones & all), india (stoker), abigail hobbs (hannibal) current residency    the colony house current occupation laundress for the colony house BIOGRAPHY tw for the following content: childhood trauma, illness & abandonment, mental illness and murder.

you do not enter this world alone, but you do happen upon it utterly starved & half dead. your sister comes first, and you follow shortly behind ⸻ with all her same parts, but worse. you emerge a novel shade of blue, witholding infant wiles because even then you knew how to wield attention to your liking if there were going to be two of you. you’ve been a gaping maw since then,  devouring anything within reach simply because you could.  you gulp life as if it were something you were starved of.  in all truth,  you’ve always gotten what you’ve wanted,  it was only a matter of having more.

two little girls with bad heart, both still rotting from the outside in. mama says she thought the water would be good for you so your family upped and moved to the closest thing to it when they could afford it. you're still hardly a wink near the southern marshes but mama still paints the house blue to ward off those bad spirits. your dad leaves for the first time real soon after that, part of you still thinks the blue is what warded him off ⸻ that maybe it was best that mama's own superstition hadn't allowed him past the front porch.

ain't this good, bird? she'd say, fingers swept up in your never-done hair because half your childhood was spent mustering the strength to climb out of bed. just us girls. you didn't much like it, but it would stay like that for a long while. a mother-wound doing her very best to raise two little girls that had gone rotten in their own ways. you had always been a spindly little rose,  luscious from first glance but when people were close enough to touch you they could feel that dry,  hollowness you exude even now.  the withering bud your ma had managed to overwater in the dry season.  even with a pink teddy perpetually tucked beneath an arm you were still all teeth.

the liar and the thief, if competition were made between you and your sister, you were by far the finer lambert girl. even in your ailing condition your mother had mulled through you with a fine tooth comb,  ensuring that you and you alone would be the one she would pour all her efforts into. you would be doted:  the one better loved from the top shelf of ma’s china cabinet  ⸻  she thought life was too abbrasive for you so you were kept tucked away.  except this love was more of a gentle taxidermy, in time you would know what it meant to keep the dead things alive.

when you are old enough you will learn that the best place to harbor things ⸻ the best place to bury a body, is within yourself. you would tell mama that it was an incident what happened to your sister, that you didn't mean to dig in the knife ⸻ to twist. but even as you had promised in the womb, she would be your wound as you would be hers. surely there were the startling differences between you as children, but you were the maw remember? your sister had taken everything from you, so when you had sat on it for just long enough, you decided that you would carve out those pieces of yourself in her & make them yours again. 

mama couldn't stand the sight of you and for the first time in a long while, you think ⸻ let alone miss ⸻ your father. you leave in the night like he did, and you've been nothing but a whisper on the wind since. you were just a girl then but you still take that peach fuzz softness and cast it over the vile bits you.  too many teeth where they shouldn’t be,  and too sharp to be just that.  in a childhood turned crime scene,  you were the rabid thing that had been tied up in the powder blue bow & now you're something much worse than you could have imagined. your sister may be dead, but she lives on in you.

[vievecorcityrp]

MAXINE "MAX" AMARA TYBALT

GENDER: Genderfluid

SPECIES: Witch - Animation

AGE: 35

SEXUALITY: Pansexual

OCCUPATION: Owner of Guilded Ink, Tattoo Shop

DISTRICT: Droitwitch, Inner Vievecor

HEADCANONS:

Max is constantly in gender flux, they wear a pin on their clothes to help with keeping their pronouns for people. They don't mind just having They/Them used. Max's closet is seperated into three sections, Femme, Masc, and the pieces that are more neutral.

Max does their best to have at least one arm always visible, after all they didn't do all that work to have it hidden behind sleeves. 

Art school was useful but Max never truly finished it. The assignments were too restrictive and made continuing in the school not worth it. So she dropped out used the last of the money she'd saved for college and went to work as a tattoo artist.

Don't use their full name. You wont like it. 

Guilded Ink, got it's name from Max's skill with gradients and working with color giving some tattoos an almost metalic like property.

PERSONALITY: Positive: Accepting, Caring (in that older sibling way), Artistic, Protective, and fun loving Negative: Quick to Anger, Stubborn, Secretive, Abbrasive, Impulsive

CHARACTER TYPE: Skeleton - The Tattoo Artist

BLOG: @guildedink