#actually yes this goes in main tags cause hello?????

[delightfuldevin]

THEY LITERALLY SAY THIS AND SQUID INK ISN’T A LEGENDARY???? BLASPHEMY.

[accessible-tumbling]

hello, sorry that I can't come up with a polite way to say this right now, but could you please not post fearmongering things to this blog? posting a no-source call to action in language suggesting the near-immediate removal of people's rights is a shit thing to do for people's anxiety levels. while i definitely agree with the post it being a good idea to have your legal affairs in order and especially so for those in situations more common amongst lgbtq+ people, all caps yelling about how you need a lawyer for [checks notes][finds bigots][checks news][paywall][news][paywall][news][somewhat related but absolutely not on the implied scale supreme court ruling about freedom of speech + refusing costumers for creative works specifically, which yes does suck but is not tearing families apart][checks notes again and it maybe has something to do with gay marriage case hinging on a similar clause to roe v wade? maybe?]- actually nothing concrete at the moment. the exact same sentiment (it is especially important to have your affairs in order for lgbtqa+ people, this is why same sex marriage was so important but everyone should have a backup ideally and this goes extra for queer folks) can be expressed without inducing frustration and fear which may make you forget bigots lurk in the notes of all even vaguely political queer post notes and getting exposed to their bullshit when you check for context, and being very very inconveniently reminded of the information paywall dystopia we live in, and overall causing of anxiety attacks. fearmongering is just straight up a shitty thing to do I'm sorry but i really can't mince it.

hello, this is a part two. i have calmed down some and would like to revise my previous request after thinking a little clearer: could you not post fearmongering things without clear content warnings (sources would be great also. i understand that's not the typical scope of this blog but in cases like this being properly informed really matters). i understand that if others are freaking out about something in a post and don't know what's going on due to inaccessible media that is also a very shitty position to be in and even questionable content should be captioned for accessibility of information. but i think that situations such as the "if you're lgbt and married: CALL YOUR LAWYER" due to the "mass nullification of marriages" that is not happening and not on the table as much as certain bigots would wish it was warrants context and a fact check no matter your audience, but i will digress with content warnings as the main point. in the end i suppose this is a trigger tagging request for fearmongering language ( and perhaps a disclaimer of misleading content on the post in question)

I apologize for the delay in getting to this ask. I reviewed the post in question and agree that the post used alarming language. I have now tagged it for politics and asked the blog member who posted it to tag for politics in the future. I'm unsure what other tags may be appropriate in this case. Possibly "call to action"? I am open to hearing your opinion.

[finndoesntwantthis]

Something I'm realizing about Inner Circle and JAS. This might be a little bit long and I apologize in advance for that, but I hope you'll still read, because I'd like to get your take and find your opinions interesting and good.

Here goes. Though I'm not fans of Jericho and Hager, the reason Inner Circle worked when they started out as a heel faction is because they had chemistry and got heel heat for the right reasons. Even with Jericho being the leader and world champion, the focus wasn't just on him. The others got their moments to shine, each guy had qualities to them that made them stand out. They had something in them that was likable and would have people root for them, even though they were heels. When Jericho cut that promo introducing them as a group, he put each guy over and they looked like a credible threat as a group. Sammy in particular still came across as a likable character, despite being the cocky, annoying heel type. He didn't have the go away heat he has now. And Santana and Ortiz were the main reason I was here for Inner Circle.

Also Inner Circle would frequently get their comeuppance and take losses and their feuds didn't drag out for so long. MJF and Wardlow's involvement led to them becoming babyface fan favorites and serving as the perfect foil to The Pinnacle. They did so great with making Sammy a breakout star and everything leading up to his babyface turn. I feel like that will always be his best run. This is what they should be doing for Daniel right now, but sadly, that doesn't seem likely. So, at least Inner Circle had some character development and redeeming qualities to them.

JAS on the other hand has no redeeming qualities or character development at all, there's no salvaging it at this point. To be honest, I feel like this group was doomed from the start. Especially when Jericho cut the promo introducing them, which he didn't even make any effort to put the other guys over, he just made it about himself. Even now when BCC should be focusing on Regal, they still find a way to have JAS involved and they don't even have anything to do with it. At this rate, I'll be on my death bed and BCC and JAS will still be at it.

Hiiiiiii yes hello I love this entire message!!!

Okay so yes I agree completely with how you feel about Inner Circle at the beginning. To me it always seemed like it was made to create stars out of indie guys and Jericho was a VERY easy segue into that. It was more fun because they lost more evenly, and Inner Circle felt more about how the group felt about each other, rather than just being Jericho and his lackeys. They took their time with building any kind of break up heat and it didn’t come until everyone was an actual equal star.

JAS very much feels like it’s an ego thing for Jericho. On top of that, there’s no reason for Sammy to still be with him, or for Tay or Anna to be there. Not just cause I love Dark Order (RIP) but Anna was becoming a huge star on her own, as a focal point of that group, and Tay was so more liked as Anna’s bff/tag team partner. Being in this group is doing nothing for them.

And then there’s 2.0!!! THEYRE SO FUNNY ON THEIR OWN!!!! They could have gone the acclaimed way and built themselves into huge stars because they’re so Fucking funny in a way that literally no other duo is. Right now they’re the only people I wanna hear from in JAS because I just love hearing them talk.

Daniel should have been allowed to turn already, he’s ready to be a star and we should be watching a series of him against Jericho, or even trials to join Bryan and BCC cause he can hold his own if they would just let him.

JAS is just expired. Jericho is in over exposed territory and he needs to take a break. Like absence makes the heart grow fonder, and while I no longer like jericho for other non-wrestling reasons (trumper ugh) if he took a break for a couple months, and then maybe came back as some kind of lone wolf, it would be better. Or he could just retire!!! Idk!!! Not likely but!!!!!!! Preferred over the same old crap he keeps giving, that’s not helping anyone young.

[nightsidewrestling]

D.U.D.E Part 9 - Your Man (Set in 2020)

Note: This is set in a universe where Men VS Women / Intergender matches can happen.

Chapter 1: here Chapter 2: here Chapter 3: here Chapter 4: here Chapter 5: here Chapter 6: here Chapter 7: here Chapter 8: here

Tags: @piratewithvigor @tantamount-treason @thedollmaker16 @janetreader

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places (those chapters will be marked as 'Mature / sexual content' just to be safe). Please inform me if you wish to be tagged or untagged from posts. If the text is in italics and orange it's Kirby's inner monologue. If the text is coloured but not in italics, it's either dialogue or a P.O.V change (P.O.V changes will be in bold and translated dialogue will appear in square [ ] brackets), Key below. Quick note on Geia's text colour: Yes I do know that as Greed she should be in yellow but I decided to colour the men's dialogue yellow so Geia was changed to be pink like the other women in the story outside of the main 8.

2nd Quick note: Eddie's parents are named (in the story) Ruth & Earl, and his brother is Eric. I have not yet decided on a name for Eddie's sister-in-law.

The Main 8: Damo - Bio. Vi - Bio. Billie - Bio. Geia - Bio. Kirby - Bio. Honey - Bio. Eli - Bio. Sara - Bio.

Eli's Vlog / Stream P.O.V:

At six Eddie and Kirby show up, joining Eli and Geia on camera, the stream in a 20 second countdown, allowing them to get settled on the two beds. Geia and Eli on one, Kirby and Eddie on the other.

"Bonjour à tous, bienvenue mesdames et messieurs. Ce soir, nous jouons à Minecraft avec Geia, Kirby et Eddie. [Hello everybody, welcome ladies and gets. Tonight we are playing Minecraft with Geia, Kirby and Eddie.]"

"Before anyone, especially Hound, says anything. Kirby didn't faint from shock, there's a lot of rumours going around. Allow her to clear them up." Geia explains, gesturing for Kirby to talk.

"Thanks Geia. Uhm, where do I begin... for those who know about my history, you'll know I used to have anaemia on and off. After the show last night I fainted, not from shock or anxiety, but because my iron level had dropped significantly since we flew out to Jacksonville. But that means I'm back on iron tablets, and I'm also taking Xanax to deal with my anxiety." Kirby explains, leaning back between Eddie's legs.

"Wow, Hound's first question of the stream, 'why is Eddie here? I thought he'd be with Moxley'."

"I'm here, 'Hound', 'cause I gotta look after my girl." Eddie shrugs.

"Yeah, and because you met my parents today, so Eddie's not letting not letting me out of his sight, unless I need the bathroom."

"So Eddie is going to be here, until, you know, either the stream ends or you two decide to leave?" Geia asks softly.

The stream goes for the full two hours, going over their allotted time by about a minute.

Gluttony's P.O.V:

Eddie drives himself and Kirby back to their motel, carrying his half-asleep girlfriend to the bed. The following morning (Saturday 15th, August, 2020), Eddie's smoking on the balcony, Moxley and him chatting when Kirby wakes up.

"I told ya, Mox, my Ma's been fretting over Kirby since she got here."

"You did tell Ruthie that Kirby's basically your wife." Moxley chuckles.

"Yeah, I know I did, but every time my Ma has a worry about Kirby, she comes back in here... Woah, hey gorgeous." Eddie's jaw drops when he sees Kirby.

Kirby stands in the balcony doorway, dressed in just a bikini, "Are you two talking about me?"

"Yeah, Eddie's mother, Ruthie, has been worrying about you after Eddie said you fainted." Mox explains, not looking up from his phone.

"I know I've seen you naked, but damn, are ya try tryin' to kill me wit' that body of yours?"

"Nope, I was gonna suggest we go down to the beach, let our parents talk the day away, have an actual date... just the two of us." She whispers, pulling Eddie into a gentle kiss.

"Deal, me and you, all day long... fuck, you look so goddamn sexy."

"Eddie... Edward, my face is up here, my tits can't talk." Kirby chuckles softly, lifting his chin gently.

When Eddie's eyes meet Kirby's he smirks, "Mox, go out front and block the door. Don't let anyone in for the next ten minutes."

Mox rolls his eyes but does as Eddie asks, The moment Mox is out of the room, Eddie capitalises on the opportunity, lifting Kirby by her thighs & ass and tossing her on the bed; he climbs over her and yanks her bikini bottoms down, before practically ripping his belt, jeans and boxers off; he teases her for a minute, getting her soaked and squirming before sliding in, making out with her as they make love.

"I'm gonna fuckin' make everybody know, I'm the only man who can fuck you like this." He growls against her lips.

"Fuck, King... Eddie, you're getting me pregnant is what you're doing, you handsome deviant." She whispers between moans.

"Livin' up to my end of the deal, 'Princess', my parent's need to meet you. After that, I'm gonna find the perfect ring, I'll marry ya pretty ass, then I'm fuckin' ya in every place available, bedrooms, bathrooms, fuckin' elevators if I can."

"You'd fuck me in public?" She asks, digging her nails into his back, "fuck, Eddie, right there... oh Papi."

Eddie doubles his pace, groaning loudly as he finishes inside her, breathing deeply as he lays on top of Kirby. She smiles softly as she catches her breath.

"My girl," he growls, "my fuckin' queen. Your last name may mean 'Exalted King', but you are a fuckin' queen, my fuckin' queen."

"Is that your way of asking me to marry you?"

"It's my way of sayin' that, but more my way of sayin', I'll marry you no matter what."

Kirby kisses Eddie deeply, feeling his dick twitch inside her. Eddie groans gutturally as he gets up and cleans both of them up. He gets dressed in his 'usual' get-up, boxers, jeans, timbs, a white tank-top, his rosaries, a black graphic t-shirt and Yankees cap.

"You're a fuckin' tease," He whispers, tossing one of Kirby's 'ready made outfits' at her, "I'll take ya to the beach, if you put this on."

"I need shoes, Eddie." she grumbles as she gets dressed.

"I'll get ya a pair of timbs, you'll be fine." He shrugs.

"Wow, my very own pair of timbs, it's like we're married already." Kirby jokes softly.

Eddie pulls her in close to him, kissing her deeply, his eyes only moving from her own when Mox walks back in, followed by Eddie's parents. Kirby looks over and blushes, a wave of fearful and nervous energy flooding her mind, clearing her throat and going to button up her shirt.

Eddie takes her hands in his, "breathe, beautiful, you'll be fine." He whispers.

"Ah, she's awake, hola mi nueva nuera. cómo está [hello my new daughter-in-law. How are you doing]?" Eddie's mother asks.

"Estoy bien, debes ser la mamá de Eddie [I'm good, you must be Eddie's mother], Ruthie?"

"Oh wow, you do speak Spanish, I thought Eddie was fuckin' with us." Eddie's dad chuckles.

Eddie's mother looks over at him, mouthing 'Earl, shush'.

"I speak a lot of languages, English isn't actually my first language either, nor is Spanish."

"It isn't?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Nope, it's my fourth. I speak Welsh, Irish, Scots Gaelic, English, French, Spanish and Japanese."

"Anythin' else I should know about ya?" Eddie chuckles softly.

"Uhm... I have a bachelor's degree, I went to college and university, the scar on my face is from a botched moment in a death-match." Kirby murmurs.

"You have a... how the fuck are you wit' me?" Eddie whispers.

"I like you, correction, I love you. You make me happy, you protect me, especially when I can't protect myself."

"You have a bachelor's degree?" Eddie's mother, 'Ruthie', asks.

"Yeah, I have a degree in 'costume and makeup design for film and television'." Kirby smiles softly.

Ruth rushes up to Kirby, hugging her tightly, Kirby looks at Eddie for help as her anxiety rises.

"Ma, take it slow, Kirby hasn't taken her anxiety meds." Eddie explains, grabbing Kirby's medication for her.

"Thank you, Kingy. I'm all for hugs and affection, but I have to either be on these, or know and trust you first." Kirby explains as she takes her medication, grabbing her phone and making a note, making sure she doesn't take too much.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, from how your parents described you, I would have never guessed."

"My parents usually leave out certain things, like how, I'm a giant, I have autism, I struggle with anxiety, you know, little things, but those little things add up over time."

"They also left out the fact you have a tattoo on your lower back." Eddie smirks.

"Edward." Ruth scolds, smacking Eddie's arm.

Eddie's father, 'Earl', chuckles softly, shaking his head and patting Kirby's shoulder, "Welcome to the family, Kid."

"Oh, uhm, thanks... I'm still getting used to everything," she mumbles, "hold on, Eddie, one sec."

"Yea, what's up, sweetheart?" Eddie asks softly.

"Is that... is that my Ice Cube 'The Predator' album shirt?"

"Yea, maybe, it was on my side of the bed." He shrugs

"Oh, I wonder why my shirt was on your side of the bed, Mr Kingston, Six-feet of sin, you are." Kirby teases playfully.

Eddie smirks and winks at Kirby, "You know you love me."

"I do, but you're gonna make my shirt smell like cigarettes. I like when you smell like cigarettes, but my stuff?"

"I'll wash it tomorrow. Today, though, I'm takin' you to the beach."

Eddie manages to talk his parents into spending the day with Kirby's folks, saying 'bye' to Moxley, driving Kirby (and himself) down to the beach, parking up and choosing the perfect place to sit on the sand. Eddie sits and watches as Kirby places down a blanket, before she returns to the car.

"Babe, what are you doin'?" Eddie asks, turning to look at Kirby.

She walks back, with a cooler in one hand and two pizza boxes in the other, "What, you didn't think I'd prepare for a date?"

"I leave you with ya parents, for five minutes, and you get all that?" He chuckles softly.

"Yeah, my mother knows what I like, she guessed what you would like, texted me she was gonna set something up, and this is the result." She explains, placing down the cooler and pizzas, as she this next to Eddie.

"I love your family." Eddie whispers.

"You love my parents and me, Eddie, you haven't met anyone else." Kirby murmurs, covering her mouth as she eats.

They sit together for about two hours, talking, kissing and holding each other close. Eddie makes them leave when it starts getting crowded, driving to a mall, cursing under his breath when he sees the crowd there.

"Eddie, we'll be fine, they'll barely notice us." Kirby whispers, putting her sunglasses on as she gets out of the car.

"You sure?" Eddie asks, staring at Kirby's ass from the driver's seat.

"Yeah, I'm sure. They're too busy crowding around that table, it looks like a petition thing."

Kirby shuts the passenger door, Eddie grumbles as he climbs out of the car. He holds Kirby's hand, leading her through the maze of stores, taking her to a jewellers.

"I want ya to find yourself a ring, one you think is perfect, I'll buy it." Eddie whispers.

Kirby nods and walks around the store, Eddie holding her hand, eventually she sees it, her 'perfect' ring, silver with an amber stone, slightly Celtic in style, sleek and simple but beautiful.

"That one," She whispers to Eddie, "that's my perfect ring."

Eddie smiles softly, "That one, the pretty little orange one? That could leave a mark... if you punched someone."

Kirby picks it up, getting it sized while Eddie waits, and they walk out with the ring, in a box. Eddie takes Kirby to get her shoes next, her own pair of timbs.

"You wear a size sixteen?" Eddie asks, holding the box of black timberland boots.

"Yeah, I am a giant, Eddie." Kirby shrugs.

"I know that, just... didn't expect you to wear anythin' bigger than a size ten."

"A size ten, on a six-ten frame?"

"Yea, ya right, dumb of me to assume... made an ass outta you and me." He murmurs.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow in confusion.

"Assuming shit, makes an ass outta you and me." He shrugs.

"Oh... I like it...Ooh, Eddie look, lingerie."

"No, you want me to have a heart attack, you in lingerie would kill me."

"Oh come on, just one outfit, just the one, please?"

"A'ight, one. Just one." Eddie groans.

Kirby grins, leading Eddie inside the store and looking for a single outfit. Eddie's breath catches in his throat, making him cough and head to the nearest bathroom. Kirby continues looking, working her way through the way through the store, taking a photo of every item she likes. She soon finds a two-piece set, bright and 'fun' looking, she pays for it before texting Eddie that she'll be outside the store.

Kirby waits for five minutes, slowly getting worried for Eddie. He walks out of the bathroom, red-faced and breathless.

"Edward Moore, do not tell me that you did what I think you did, you did not, you better have not." She grumbles.

"What, you're the one who took me in a fuckin' sex shop." He shrugs.

"Eddie, one, it's not a sex shop, it's a lingerie store, and two, did you really just wank one out in a public bathroom?"

Eddie smirks, "Would've taken you with me if I got your attention."

[charlie-slmccl]

C!Slimecicle RP Blog Masterpost

Hello! I'm and my pronouns are it/its! (my main blog is @logstead-lockstep if u wanna be there)

I just wanna go over the basic rules of my blog lmaooo

Rules

No NSFW - jokes are fine

Angst yes but please tread lightly because it can cause me to spiral

any dsmp member antis (yes schlatt antis u too) dni (kind of a rule 3.5 but idc who you watch or whatever as long as ur a nice person urself)

be careful with kind of. general triggering stuff cause refer to rule 2

Headcanons

adopted 90% of his traits from quackity

relatively human looking but underneath his clothes he's all grimy and wimey

his bones are not his!!! he got all sorts of animal bones in there!!!! (his "brain" is actually a cave tortoise shell)

easily persuaded but reluctant when it comes to quackity

blind as FUCK without his glasses (got this from deep sea fish)

adores head pressure and so he sometimes wears beanies (courtesy of quackity)

he doesnt have any nerves/receptors!! this means he cant feel (physical) pain

leading on from that last one, because he has no receptors on his tongue, he cannot detect spice or sour. he has eaten carolina reapers before and he will!!!! do it again

goes entirely slimy in the rain so thats why he likes Las Nevadas being in the desert

also slimes when experiencing extreme negative emotions

AUTISM!!!!!!!!!

Appearance

5'11

mostly human looking, apart from his under-clothes gunkiness

aviator style glasses that r pretty thick (short sighted!!!)

his suit is slightly green bc his slime kinda dried in it

picked up his suspenders and beanie from quack

bouncy hair

very gummy in texture

so... hear me out here... his legs are like lava lamps... some of the lava from his death remained in his legs and now hes just a fucking lava lamp in his shins

Tags!!

#friends!! - ask tag!

#oh :( - angst tag

#regularly scheduled slimecicle - rp tag

#disruption to your regularly scheduled program - non-canon rp

#tortoise shell movement - character ranting/thoughts

#mod talks - the mod speaks

#different channel - not rp

#important - anything i deem important. this could be just announcements or things that could save lives. lichrally anything

#important (to me) - menial shit i (mod hello me yes) like

[escape-from-twinkov]

Lynx (Tarkov story character rundown)

hello yes in a fit of anger/rage/confusion and waiting for raids to begin I started writing a book based around Tarkov and the world of Russia 2028. There are three main characters as of now but I'll just give a rundown on the first Bear op. Lynx, is a middle aged man who enlisted as a pmc after hearing about the deteriorating situation within the city. He looked like he was in his 30s, clad in a black t-shirt wearing urban camo pants with vague grey checkering throughout while his head was covered in a simple black balaclava. His black plate carrier had been battle tested, it was scratched throughout with the left strap being held together by duct tape while his helmet crowned him, it was drab-green and covered in marks and dents each telling a story should he ever be willing to share them, at one point there must have been a face shield attached but that was lost long ago leaving its attachment point covered with more tape. In his hands was a sleek AK-104, it was barebones only having a simple hand guard and red dot attached to the top rail. The gun was worn but decently well-maintained with 16 white markings circling the barrel. On his neck hung a dog-tag with only “Lynx” etched on. character traits and background

-Generally very emotional but hides it well when on duty

-was a veteran of Grozny especially the urban combat within the heart of the city. As such he was an intense fear of open areas or places surrounded by many windows and gets very panicked when put in these areas

-Tends to be silent as to not give his position away. Makes it harder for others to contact him via radio (he actually just gets overwhelmed and goes silent when under pressure)

-He cares for his squad though it doesn’t seem like it just because of how distant he seems. The only reason he seems distant is because this isn’t his first time seeing combat he knows that at anytime he or others may die so he doesn’t bother forming close relationships to save him the pain of that being ripped away from him

-Generally apathetic to war as he was originally conscripted to fight in Grozny at 19 years old combat is pretty much the only thing he knows in life. As a result he keeps his gear at functioning levels whilst placing emphasis on simplicity because he realizes that no matter how much one prepares death is still inevitable and if fate deems it so then there’s no point trying to fight it

-As much as he tries to hide it he occasionally does let things slip and started thinking about his past experiences. While normally neutral in nature it occasionally seeing familiar objects/locations/equipment causes him to breakdown as the thoughts start flowing back to him uncontrollably. Particularly when he passes by certain wrecked vehicles (that’s a whole nother can of worms)

-He’s generally quite negative as he always anticipates the worse. He hates being here and he hates having to risk his life fighting to make a living and to live to see another day but even if he could leave the city and return home there’s no point. After what he’s experienced he would never be able to adjust back into civilian life and fighting is the only thing he knows how to do meaning he’ll just end up in isolation at home. Though he may hate it here at least he is with others who feel the same, He appreciates their company despite the real likelihood that he’ll never see them again.

Thanks for reading up to this point :D. I still have to flesh out more aspects of his character to make the chemistry within the group more “authentic” I’ll drop the other character that’s pretty well fleshed out later. Byeeeee  

[fluffydancer618]

hello there, may i ask what in the fuck is happening in the rtgame tag and your board

(this isnt negative or anything i just genuinely wanna know and can you show the board?)

Short answer: Nothing is happening but also the giant butterfly effect started back in the summer of 2020 that what is happening, and here is my board

Long answer aka The History of Rtumblr In Summary That You Might Wanna Know If You Are New Here: So it’s all started on June 8th 2020 when RT took a break and when the post with just three words was created and this post was ‘Kevin has feet’ (or simply ‘khf post’), which later escalated into a big discussion about the veracity of this statement. From this post, besides important stuff like fairy!dan, mermaid!kevin, mafia coffeeshop au with a bear noises and etc., we also got a onceler dan aka Rtcler (aka the rtcler ask blog). And that was a story how rtumblr revived onceler. And yes, it was just the beginning.

So later we also got a greedler kevin aka Kevler (aka greedler kev ask blog) which led to the greatest soap opera i ever seen between him, rtcler, slorax damn i miss slime , sg, lumpy and many other people. I’m gonna skip this soap opera because of two reason: 1. I don’t have all day to fully explain it to you, buddy. 2. Tbh I forgot most of it so i can’t tell much anyway lmao

Anywho, that’s how tradition of doing cursed ass shit everytime when RT goes on break was born

So skipping to summer 2021, RT takes another break somewhere in August and, according to tradition, rtumblr (actually that one in particular started on twitter i believe but oh well) doing cursed ass shit again, more precisely creating RTSans and many others so called rtsonas but spoiler not as much as they gonna create in future (if you’re actually interesting how many rtsonas we have, you might wanna check this list of all rts).

One more little skip to another RTBreak (TM) in October 2021 and in this one we’re sexyman’d Magical John. Yup.

And then in November 2021 the worst nightmare of any person here /j (/hj?) /lh happened - RT visit rtumblr. And damn anon we panicked, we panicked so hard cause all this stuff above was in the main tag and it’s probably the tag he checked and only god knows how many of that he saw. And this led to a little paranoia about ‘What if RT has a blog now’ or how i like to called it ‘What if Rumble Tumble has Tumblr’. And because we’re all clowns (affectionate), it didn’t took very long before RTblogs (TM) started to appear and claim (well.””””claim”””” y’know) that they’re a real RT.

And one day, more exactly on November 14th, one of the clowns with a really.. floofy name looked at that burning mess(affectionate), took a sip of their conspiracy tea and said ‘Yeah, i can make it make sense’. And that’s how the first version of The Board (The full name is ‘The Board of rtcu and cmkcu’ or ‘Wtf is going on here’ board. Pick your favorite.) was created. But then some things happened and some info on it was incorrect /wasn’t full so they updated it. Then it happened again so they updated it again. And again. And again. Again. Again. Again again again. Ag- i think you get it. Feck i think i need to update it again actually- (Link on it in the short answer. You can also find it in ‘rt has blog’ tag. Well, if you can’t for some reasons, don’t worry. It will find you. You can’t escape it. No one can. And yes, the name of the tag is a reference.)

Then i accidentally started my villain arc aka the lore aka ‘do you love the color of rtumblr roleplay?’. Basically, everything with a tag ‘do you love the color of rtumblr roleplay?’ is the lore/something related to this lore and piece of it are scattered throughout entire rtumblr but here’s three main posts in order - 1, 2, 3 (They also have some branches but if you curious you can find it in their notes. And yes, the name of the tag is a reference.).

Ok, what we have next let’s see.. Oh. Oh fuck. Shit. I need to tell about this too, aren’t i. Ugh, fine.

And now it’s time for a final part when i just dump information on you without any explanation cause i am not sure how to explain it myself and also cause this post is already really long:

I’m rtcler’ child. ‘Like adopted?’ HA. Mpreg is canon here. ‘Who’s the second parent then?’ There’s five candidates on this role, so for now i just made a conclusion that it’s a polycule of six people (Rtcler, Sg, Rtsans, Kevler, Cupcler and God itself) + one stepparent (@/withspaces ).

So, answering your question: Nothing happening in the rtgame tag. As you can see, it’s just a normal state of being for us (/lh /aff).

That’s all. What? You still have questions? You have even more questions after all this? Yeah, i know that. It’s Rtumblr. You should have.

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[tinyboxxtink]

"Not My Yacht" *Chapter 1?*

So this is interesting:

So "Not My Yacht" was my very first fic. Like, I'm talking VERY VERY first.

So when I started asking around about ideas for a new series, a few of my lovelies went through my one shots and this story and "Doodling" got some good votes.

So, I decided to include the one shot and just added to it for a POTENTIAL new series. We'll see how this chapter goes over.

Also I'll be including Rita Calhoun in this for the FIRST time ever, so I may need assistance from @storiesofsvu to get her voice right. I did my best here. I'll be honest I've never really watched her, just that one where that guy blackmailed her or something.

Also Also, if it wasn't obvious enough this is obviously the beginning of the SVU episode "Her Negations".

I don't want to give anything away because I haven't even really thought that far, but I'm 95% sure this is going to turn in a William Lewis situation fic. So...pretty dark. I'm just warning you NOW.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

And yes, the results are in. There is a part 2!

You breathed in the salty air of the sea of the sunny South Hampton shore; It was a beautiful day for a yacht party.

You walked along the pier as you got closer to your boss’s boat: The Crime Wave. Her husband’s idea of a funny name she claimed as she had invited people from the office to this soiree. You were lucky to even get an invite, just being the assistant to the owner of the law firm. “Who else is going to help me dodge boring conversations with men who just wanted a "free ride” on the bosses boat?“ She had teased you; or at least you hoped she was kidding.

You really wanted to just relax and mingle among the elite lawyers of NYC, seeing as you wanted to be one of them someday.

You saw your boss, Rita Calhoun waving you down as you reached the dock space.

"Ah! There you are, for a minute I thought I’d have to mix my own drinks!” She laughed with a wink. You laugh nervously, unable to discern if she was kidding.

“Calm down sweetie, I’m a big girl. Besides, I like to make them myself, strong,” she laughed again, patting your shoulder. Crap had your face looked that panicked? Keep it cool!

“Go ahead, enjoy yourself. I’ll be here, making sure none of those damn punks tries to sneak on here for free booze,” she scoffed, nodding to a group of highly dressed teens playing chicken on the shoreline.

You nodded with a half laugh, stepping onto the yacht. It was a decent size, a second level deck and a very spacious main level. Not a lot of people had arrived yet, so you decided to pick a spot on the yachts back bench area before all the seating was taken. You began removing your over clothes revealing your swimming wear when you hear Rita greet someone else.

“Ah, Barba. You know we have flare guns on board,”

You turn to see the ADA of New York, Rafael Barba. He’s dressed in a windbreaker and what could be either a dark red or salmon polo. You realize Mrs. Calhoun is referring to the almost neon yellow color of the windbreaker, and you can’t help but giggle. It must have been way too loud because they both turn to you which caused you to immediately shut up and go back to undressing and laying out your towel, but ever so slightly still honed in on the conversation.

“You can never be too careful Rita, who knows how many enemies I’ve made in this town; someone might throw me over,” he smirked.

“And anyone here could make it look like a very convincing accident….even my aspiring protege over there,” Rita nods over to you, knowing full well what you were doing.

Barba turned and looked at you, your body frozen in mid towel thrust. You didn’t know whether to throw it over yourself or just run off the boat right there.

“I know it’s an awful jacket dear, you don’t have to keep staring at him.” She called over to you. God why did she have to be so….her.

“Jesus Rita give the girl a break, or did you invite her just to torture her on unbillable hours?” Barba scoffed with a half smile, walking over to you.

“Is it really worth the minimum wage to put up with her?” He asked.

“Mmm…it’s more for the experience, honestly.” You replied surprisingly smoothly.

“Oh….well I mean I could give you the experience without–” He started but was interrupted by your boss’s loud exclaiming.

“Yeah I’ll BET you’d give her experience Barba! Stop hitting on my intern and mingle with the adults.”

If you could dig a hole straight through the boat into the ocean you would do it right then and there.

“…..Without THAT.” He rolled his eyes, lightly flipping her the bird behind his back. You see her respond with a laugh then turns her attention back to the guests boarding.

“She’s probably been drinking since she got on the boat, yeah?” He asked you.

“I…I don’t know I just got here….” You managed to squeak out as your towel strayed from your hands. Barba grabbed it and helped you reposition it on the bench.

“Kinda windy for a yacht party, but Rita will take any chance to celebrate anything remotely resembling a boost to her ego. Am I right?” He chuckled, before sitting down on your towel.

“Just to keep it from blowing away, do you mind?” He asked, gesturing for you to join him. You nodded a boisterous “NO”, plopping next to him on the bench.

“I’m Rafael Barba,” he extended his hand to you, which you took and shook gently, praying to God he didn’t notice you were literally shaking. You had probably had the biggest crush on him since you started working with Mrs. Calhoun, he was constantly in her office challenging her with warrants and favors.

“Oh yeah I know,” you blurted out, mentally facepalming immediately.

“I see….” He raised an eyebrow. “And you are….?”

You were about to answer when his phone went off. He answered it putting one finger up and mouthing the words “one second.”

“Barba. Yeah….what? Seriously, Olivia? On a Sunday?!” He groaned into his phone with an exaggerated eye roll. He raised his hand and ran it over his face begrudgingly as he talked.

“Yeah….alright, fine. Yeah I’ll be there, give me an hour. I’m in the Hamptons. Because it’s my day off, Liv! Do you think I lock myself in my office over the weekends like a vampire in a coffin? Yeah…I’m sorry, I just…” He glanced at you.

“I was enjoying my Sunday.” He gave you a small sad smile.

“Yeah. Ok. See you soon.” He hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry, I gotta go back to the city. Don’t let Rita push you around too much, okay?” He chuckled, rubbing the top of your head like a puppy. You felt your face scrunch up in annoyance, seriously? He thought of you as a kid?!

He obviously noticed, and quickly held out his hand again very sternly.

“Sorry, future counselor.” He said in an overly serious tone, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Again. Like an idiot.

Relieved he had fixed his faux paux, he gave you one last beautiful Barba grin as he jogged over to Rita and told her something before nodding to you once again, then walked off the boat and disappearing down the pier.

Your boss sauntered over to you, a shit eating grin across her face.

“Well Cinderella, you sure kept that cool.” She gestured for your phone beside you.

“Be sure to tell him your name this time,” she winked, handing it back to you. You glanced down at it as she walked away; she had added a number to your contacts.

“BHole Barba.” You laughed out loud. Nice. Maybe she wasn’t such a horrible boss after all….

--------------

By Monday you still hadn’t had the balls to text Rafael Barba. You had just stared at the number in your phone, imagining all the possibilities contacting him would lead to. You may have gotten so far as planning your summer wedding in the Hamptons, but nobody needed to know that.

But you had chickened out and left it alone, and now you were sitting at your desk typing up a memo for Rita when you saw him come waltzing through the door.

“Ah, Cinderella!” He smiled at you.

“Hey…” Your mind went blank, you couldn’t think of words. Wait, had he already given you a nickname?

“Cinderella?” You blinked in confusion.

“Well I never caught your name-- But I guess I shouldn’t even push it, you’ve clearly moved on and I must seem like a creep,” His train of thought proceeded out loud as he realized you hadn’t taken his number and here he was still flirting with you. Rita had given it to you, he had seen her type it in your phone. Obviously you weren’t interested, why was he pushing this?

“What? NO!” You said a little louder than you intended, actually a lot louder than you intended. You slapped your hand over your mouth after your little outburst, but to you relief he was still smiling.

“Oh? Well I suppose that’s good…” He was obviously fishing for your excuse as to why you had waited until he popped back in your face to talk to him.

“No, I um--” You racked your brain for an excuse that wasn’t “I was busy planning our lives together”.

“I….couldn’t think of something interesting to say,” You finally admitted with a pitiful sigh. You were not a good liar, and under pressure, forget about it.

Again, he still smiled-- but this time he laughed along with it.

“I mean, ‘Hello’ is always an option,” He chuckled. “Or...your name?”

“Oh!” Idiot. You hadn’t even given him your name, how was he supposed to fall madly in love with you without a name?

“Y/N,” You stuck your hand out awkwardly, Was this a ‘shake hands’ moment? Hadn’t you already met before? You stared at your hand as you moved it slightly back and forth, arguing with yourself whether or not this was necessary. Luckily, Rafael settled the argument by taking your hand and shaking it firmly.

His hands were so soft, his long fingers enveloped yours in them. You lost yourself in the moment, and before you knew it he was making an uncomfortable cough, snapping you back to reality. You dropped his hand and snapped yours back into your body like a zip cord, your face in a horrified stare.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, that was so weird. I’m weird. I’m--”

“Well I don’t know what you were so worried about Cinderella, you’re clearly a chatterbox,” He gave you a tongued smile, referring to the word vomit you just couldn’t help spill all over him.

“Oh yeah, I’m a total word machine,” You laughed nervously. A word machine? What the fuck was that?

“...Word machine. Right,” He nodded in amusement. “Well word machine, would you mind shooting some words to my phone, or do you just enjoy this face to face thing?”

“With that face? Definitely the latter. But you can have my number anyway,” You typed a quick message and sent it to his number. Damn that was smooth! How did you do that?

Rafael made an impressed face with your line, but when he opened his phone his brows furrowed.

“Hit?” He gave you a curious look as he read the text out loud.

“Fuck it was supposed to be ‘hi’-- stupid autocorrect,” You muttered angrily. Yeah, that was more like you.

“Oh yes, the dreaded autocorrect,” He nodded while saving your number. “Turning fucks into ducks since 2011,”

“Oh I didn’t have a phone in 7th grade but I’ll take your word for it,” You laughed, but stopped when his face twisted into a mix of horror and discomfort when he realized how young you actually were.

Dammit. Why...why would you do this?

“....Right, is Rita in?” He quickly shoved his phone back in his pocket and headed into Rita’s office before you could answer.

“...Idiot!” You yelled at yourself as your hands went over your face and your face planted into your desk.

Well, that was nice while it lasted. All 2.5 seconds of it.

-----------------

“Well Barba, about time,” Rita smirked as Rafael abruptly burst into her office trying to get away from you. “Done flirting with the intern are we?”

“Shut up,” He rolled his eyes, though his face was a deep shade of red.

“Oh no, what happened? Did your dentures fall out in front of her?” She smirked.

“I’m younger than you!!” He scoffed.

“Yeah but I’m not the one trying to boff a 25 year old,” She smirked harder, making Rafael angrier.

“Can I just get the warrant I came here for, Rita?” He huffed.

“Oooh, struck a nerve there, did I?” Rita chuckled as she grabbed some papers from her desk and started to hand them to him. “Barba, for the record I’m really not judging you. If I were 20 years younger, I’d hit it too,”

“Excuse me?”

“I had a lot of ‘cats’ in college,” She winked.

“Wow,” Rafael held up his hands. “Rita, we really don’t need to be that personal.”

“Fine, but all I’m saying is if you like the girl, don’t let a stupid thing like age deter you. Don’t tell her I said this, but she’s actually very competent and organized. I would almost prefer her not to graduate, unless she'd come work for me. She’s going to be a hell of a lawyer,” She gestured outside to your desk.

Rafael looked at the ground as he mulled over what she was saying, a small smile crawled across his lips as she complimented your potential.

“I’ll take that under advisement, Mrs. Calhoun,” He nodded as he walked towards the door with the papers in his hand, a huge smile across his face now.

He walked out to find you cursing at yourself and whimpering in embarrassment at your desk. When you heard the door shut you snapped to attention and stared at him, shocked he hadn't sprinted out of the office like Usain Bolt. Even more shocking was that Cheshire cat grin now upon his face.

“I-I’m sorry, I totally meant I was--” You tried doing math trying to make yourself reasonably older.

“It’s fine,” He chuckled as he put a hand over your counting fingers. You blushed at the touch of his skin on yours again, but quickly shoved your hands under the desk nervously as you tried not to look him square in the eye. His eyes were so gorgeous you were positive staring straight into them would actually get you pregnant.

“So does Rita ever unchain you from this desk?” He smirked as he was now very aware and very amused at how nervous he made you. He may be old, but clearly he’s still got it.

“Oh yeah, if I ask very nicely she let’s me--” You tried to think of something witty, but it wasn’t coming with him staring at you with those eyes. “....Yes,” You wanted to put your hands over your face but you didn’t want it to be a ‘thing’.

“Well, maybe if you’re an extra good girl she’ll let you off your leash early tonight,” He winked.

“....Am I a dog or a toddler in that situation?” You were genuinely asking, but Rafael clearly realized how insulting that must have seemed.

“Oh no no no, I just, shit,” He tried to backtrack but if he was being totally honest, you made him nervous. Maybe he didn’t have ‘it’ as much as he thought.

You noticed he was the one blushing now, oh my god were you making him nervous? QUICK, BE SMOOTH. BE SMOOTHER THAN YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN YOUR LIFE.

“Are you asking me out, counselor?” You did your best “sultry “voice with a bat of your eyes. Were you batting them too much? What was too much? Oh god you’ve done it for too long now. STOP BATTING.

“...I don’t know, guess you’ll have to wait for me to text you, future counselor,” He was impressed by the line, and decided to bow out before either of you made idiots of yourselves again. He gave you a wink and sauntered out of the office.

Great. Now he’ll probably make you wait two days for a--

*BEEP*

Your phone went off in your desk. You pulled it out to see a text message:

BHOLE BARBA: Dinner? Tonight?

You really needed to change his contact name. But that wasn’t the point right now. He just asked you out. Rafael Barba just asked you out. You stared at in your hands, unsure of what to do. Then you realized you couldn’t do this again, you couldn’t just sit there and imagine things, this required an immediate response.

You nervously typed a reply and hit SEND:

Sire ;)

“DAMMIT!!!” You cursed your autocorrect. You instantly sent another text.

Sure***

Before you could lecture yourself again, your phone beeped again:

BHOLE BARBA: Play

Play? What did that--

BHOLE: Okay** ;)

You typed the word ‘okay’ into your text reply bubble, ‘play’ came up in the autocorrect word list.

He was joking with you. He was flirting with you. RAFAEL BARBA WAS FLIRTING WITH YOU.

This work day could not end fast enough.

[artfulprankster]

💚✨ Hello! This is an Indie, Semi-Selective and Crossover friendly Harold Hutchins from the amazingly silly book series Captain Underpants by the absolutely amazing Dav Pilkey! I do not own The series Captain Underpants nor Harold Hutchins. 💚✨

This blog is a sideblog, all likes, follows and interactions will come from @/Scribsmcgee. This blog is also mobile bound, but I will cut my posts and write multiple paragraphs and will do my best to fulfill any standards for your rules regarding length of posts.

I am a Semi-Selective blog, which means I might be a little picky on who I rp with. This also goes into unfollowing. If I unfollow you, I just can’t see our muses working out anymore or our writing working out. This isn’t a personal thing either! I’m sure you are a wonderful individual and I wish you the best in life.

This also means I have the right to unfollow you or follow you if I wish. Do not pull me into drama because of this because this is a hobby. I write to have fun and I don’t ever write to cause any harm. If I unfollow you, I’d appreciate it being reciprocated.

This blog will contain some Canon Divergent aspects such as headcanons on Piqua, Harold, Billy and a few world building headcanons. It will not affect a majority of main canon for the series and this blog is based on the Show version of Harold, Aka The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants Harold with book canon sprinkled in. It is recommended you watch the first season of the show to get a good feel of the series and character but it is not mandatory.

Harold has some knowledge of the fourth wall and will mention it in threads or asks if felt like it fits. He cannot use the fourth wall to his advantage and it’s mainly there for comedic intent.

Crossovers are 100% welcome! I encourage the wackiest and craziest crossovers!!! More wacky the better!! Please send them Harold’s way, I would absolutely love to push this dolphin loving rascal their way and watch the chaos happen! He’s always ready to prank and meeting new people means new prank ideas!! I might need a little guidance on muses I am not familiar with though, so please forgive me for being a little confused!

❌ Please don’t spam like my page! It floods my notifications and makes it hard for me to find threads I need to reply to! Your support is appreciated nonetheless! ❌

And with that, let’s get on with the show!

This blog is 18+, the show and books are for children yes, but the books and show can at times get dark and I will not shy away from horror elements and blood and violence in this blog. I will also be delving into topics of abandonment, divorce, bullying, misunderstanding of ADHD(Mun is diagnosed) by adult characters, mind control, injuries and blood, horror themes and other story and plot relevant things that can be considered scary. I will not delve into gore or extreme violence however, just blood and small Injuries.

You have been warned.

Again, please don’t follow me if you are a minor (under 18) or cannot handle the topics spoken of above.

I will tag any and all reference of blood, violence, Vomit and anything gross (Cmon this is Captain underpants) with the tag media.warning and then the trigger. If there is anything specific you want tagged please let me know via inbox or DMS.

Examples:

media.warning.blood.

media.warning.vomit.

This blog will not hesitate to delve into the more traumatic side of being a sidekick and being in constant danger a lot of the week. Harold has seen some shit and has canonically almost died multiple times guys. Hes gonna be a little fucked up actually.

This being said, this blog will NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES write any form of problematic content. NONE. If you even try to bring it into my blog I will block you, even if we are long time mutuals or short time mutuals. No questions and no hesitation. This blog will also not write any fetish content. Seriously, don’t bring that shit on my blog or in my asks I mean it.

This blog will not write NSFW or shipping. 1. I am ace and I find the topic and things relating to it uncomfortable. 2. HAROLD IS A BABY, A CHILD. He is my son and I will not tolerate weird asks or prompts or anything of him, George, Billy or any of the kid characters. Don’t even try it.

Only Billy is an exception to the shipping case as he is canonically Harold’s future husband.

Please, respect this boundary. Do not force shipping or NSFW on me I will block you for that.

Also saying this, I do not ship George and Harold. Do not force George and Harold shipping questions onto me. I also don’t ship Harold and Melvin or George and Melvin, again do not force those ships on me I will block you.

Please do not Godmod my muse! I will allow setting up Harold’s place and marker in starters for threads of ours but that’s it. Likewise I will not godmod your muse and if I need to place them somewhere for a reply or starter I will always ask for permission before doing so. You always have the option to tell me no, your boundaries are important to me.

I’ll also say this here aswell. DO NOT GUILT TRIP ME OR MANIPULATE ME INTO REPLYING or FOLLOWING YOU BACK. I will not have that on my blog, I am here to write Harold and that’s it. Do not pull that shit with me I will block you so fast.

For callout and cancel culture I’m a bit of a middleman. I don’t particularly like it due to its problematic history itself but I fully believe warning people about problematic and dangerous people in the RPC is a good thing! But there are often times alot of claims are bullshit and just make things messy for no reason other than petty disputes. I will 100% believe any accusations on anyone I interact with if there is proof of their shitty behavior or disgusting acts. I try to see things as innocent until 100% proven guilty and if anyone I interact with have such a history with disgusting things PLEASE LET ME KNOW WITH PROOF I AM VERY STUPID!

If you wish to warn me about a dangerous individual please don’t send me an anon all ‘hey so and so is bad’ and not give me any proof or what exactly makes them bad because I’ve had that happen before and it just makes you look silly friend. Again, Please provide proof for me.

I AM NOT A FANDOM BLOG! I am a RP blog! People tend to get it confused so let me clear the air for you. I reblog stuff for this blog but I am not a personal blog so please don’t spam like my posts. I will most likely block you for that if you continue to do so.

Personals are allowed to follow and leave inbox messages if they don’t have rp blogs. However, They cannot like or reblog rp threads/ starter calls or inbox calls. This makes it very confusing for both me and the other Mun so please respect that boundary.

Personals attached to rp blogs are free to like starter calls and inbox calls! Just make sure your blog is visible in your description or let me know via inbox!

Most of my information for my Bio page comes from the amazing writers and the amazing Fandom Hero page! Please show them some support!

If I use your art or content in my blog (always with credit) and you’d like me to delete it let me know! I’ll happily do so!

If any of the art I use for icons comes from a problematic source and I don’t know, please let me know via inbox or dms! I mainly get my icons from animatics and official media.

Icon credit:

💚: Divider credit- Firefly-Graphics

💚:

💚:

And that’s it! If you’ve made it this far, thank you! I really appreciate you reading through and making it here! This is not mandatory but it shows you’ve read my rules and I appreciate a ‘So George and Harold make comic books…!’ In my inbox!

The Mun:

Age: 22

Name: Scribs

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: Male, Trans-Man.

Faceclaim: Welter from Traffic Jam by NilFruits

Hello there! I’m the Mun! Scribs! It’s nice to meet you all! Thank you for showing interest in my little blog and my son Harold! I grew up with The book series and ever since then I can’t seem to shake these two gremlins out of my head LOL. This series means a lot to me and Harold has been a comfort character of mine ever since I was 5-7 years old. He was one of the main inspirations for me to become an artist and seeing how the series has developed over the years makes me incredibly happy.

I look forward to interacting with you! Have a good day!

[a-queer-seminarian]

Hello, you seem to be knowledgeable about god. Do you know where to find him and what his weaknesses are? I have dedicated my life to hunting him down and killing him for the indescribable amount of suffering he has directly or indirectly caused.

cw: violent language, including about fighting / killing God; as well as discussion of the Shoah / Holocaust later on in the post

(gonna start this long-ass response by saying that yes, i know this anon is probably joking about dedicating their life to hunting down God, but i’m gonna answer it like they’re serious because that’s the kind of person i am haha)

honestly anon, all power to ya! it sounds like my own understanding of God is quite different from yours (for instance, i would claim that God’s main weakness is actually Their best strength, which is compassion and steadfast solidarity) -- but the question of why God allows suffering is one i come back to all the damn time.

if you do track God down -- if God turns out to be a Being that can be tracked down to one location and time -- please do deliver my regards and my sincerest “WTF??”

you’re not the first to demand God answer for the suffering that’s happened on Their watch --

for if God is truly omnipotent, and truly all-loving, why don’t they do something about all this pain??? Indeed, the Bible is rich with similar demands -- from the psalmists to Job to Jesus himself from the cross (quoting a psalm, he cries, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me??”).

You might already know all this, but if not, the question of God’s place in suffering is often referred to as theodicy, at least in Christian circles.

That term comes from the Greek for god + justice, so what it literally means is “justifying (or vindicating) God”....which I’m not a huge fan of, because it implies that when we explore this question of where God is in suffering, we already know the result will be that God will be proven innocent (or at least “not guilty”).

But do we know that?? See the bottom of this post for an example of a time people of great faith found God guilty!

Anyway, theodicy describes intellectual efforts “to jerry-rig three mutually exclusive terms into harmony: divine power, goodness, and the experiences of evil.“ - Wendy Farley

If you want to learn more about theodicy and the way some theologians have “made sense” of suffering, check out this introductory post I’ve got.

Or wander through my whole #theodicy tag over on my other blog.

I invite you to explore theodicy not in any attempt to convince you of anything, but so you know some of the arguments you’re up against! Honestly, the more i explore theodicy, the less satisfied i am with any justifications for why God doesn’t intervene in the face of so much suffering...so if you do the reading and still conclude God is guilty, i’m not gonna tell you you’re definitely wrong.

Anyway. Like i said, you’re not alone in wanting answers for why God -- however, i don’t know that i’ve seen anyone else with your determination to find and kill God!

(Except, and i hate that i know this lol, that’s apparently the plot of the final season of Supernatural -- they find out God’s a total ass who not only is guilty of negligence but also directly responsible for a lot of suffering for his own sadistic enjoyment. so. they kill the bastard.)

Still, while i don’t know that i’ve seen too many people who want to take God out, the idea of wrestling God is pervasive -- especially within Judaism, but also among some Christians.

i’m very into wrestling God, myself, finding it far more faithful to the God who gifted us free will and invites us into true, mutual relationship than unquestioning obedience.

i have a whole #wrestling God tag over on my other blog.

For the most intense example of wrestling with God i’ve yet seen, with God put on trial and found guilty, keep reading.

_________

cw: discussion of the Shoah / Holocaust below

You might connect to Elie Wiesel’s play The Trial of God, or the movie that was made based off it. Wiesel survived Nazi concentration camps but ceased to believe in God after what he suffered. His play was inspired by something he witnessed while a teen at Auschwitz:

"I witnessed a strange trial. Three rabbis—all erudite and pious men—decided one winter evening to indict God for allowing his children to be massacred. I remember: I was there, and I felt like crying. But nobody cried."

Robert McAfee Brown wrote more about this trial Wiesel witnessed:

“The trial lasted several nights. Witnesses were heard, evidence was gathered, conclusions were drawn, all of which issued finally in a unanimous verdict: the Lord God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, was found guilty of crimes against creation and humankind.”

Note that in 2008 when commenting on this event, Wiesel clarified that “At the end of the trial, they used the word chayav, rather than ‘guilty.’ It means ‘He owes us something.’”

In the chapter “No God, Only Auschwitz” of his book Embracing Hopelessness, Miguel A. De La Torre comments on this verdict by explaining that if God wasn’t going to intervene, then God must at the least speak -- but instead, God was silent:

“God must be held accountable for refusing to speak to those yearning for God’s voice. Something. Anything. A note of solidarity. A testament of love, accompaniment. But they hear and receive nothing. The trial...ends with God owing us something.

De La Torre goes on to describe the play Wiesel wrote based on this memory, which actually takes place in a 1649 Ukranian village, rather than at Auschwitz. The Cossacks raid the village and kill all but two of its Jewish residents.

“In Wiesel’s play, he has the inkeeper Berish voice the same questions those sitting in death camps centuries later asked, if not audibly, then silently:

‘To mention God’s mercy in Shamgorod [Auschwitz] is an insult. Speak of his cruelty instead. ...I want to understand why. He is giving strength to the killers and nothing but tears and the shame of helplessness to the victims. ...Either he is responsible or He is not. If He is, let’s judge him; if He is not, let him stop judging us. ...

‘[I] accuse Him of hostility, cruelty and indifference. ...Either He knows what’s happening to us, or He doesn’t wish to know! In both cases He is...guilty! Would a father stand by, quietly, silently, and watch his children being slaughtered?’”

De La Torre continues with his own thoughts on all this:

“The horrors humanity faces indict God as being less loving and attentive than sinful parents. I hesitate to make any pronouncements as to the character of God because in the final analysis, I lack any empirical knowledge upon which to base my study. Still with all my heart and being I want to say: my God is the God of the oppressed who incarnates Godself among the least of these.

I want to make this bold claim based on the testimony of the gospel witness. But in the midst of the dark night, I confess this hopeful belief is at best a tenet accepted by faith, lacking any means of proving the truth or falsehood of the claim. In the shadow of Auschwitz, though I am not Jewish, nonetheless I am left wondering if the precious Deity who notices the fall of a sparrow is blind to God’s children crushed in the winepress. Do I dare wonder if God is the God of the oppressors?

...Or maybe this is a God who really wants to do good, but lacks the power to do anything in the face of inhumanity. ..."

There’s one more piece to this tale of Wiesel’s witness of the trial of God at Auschwitz. And that is that, after declaring God guilty (or chayav)...

...after what Wiesel describes as an "infinity of silence", the Talmudic scholar looked at the sky and said "It's time for evening prayers", and the members of the tribunal recited Maariv, the evening service. (McAfee Brown)

...That ending is the part that astounds and awes me. These Jewish prisoners at Auschwitz find God guilty -- and then proceed to pray as they always do. I am reminded of what my Jewish friends as well as various Jewish scholars have told me: that Judaism is totally compatible with wrestling with God and even with disbelief. Whether these Jewish prisoners believed God even existed, they prayed -- because that tradition of prayer is what unites them to one another, to their people.

As De La Torre closes his telling of Wiesel’s story,

“At the conclusion of the movie God on Trial, based on the events Wiesel described, shortly after the barrack inmates find God guilty, and those chosen are marched to the gas chamber, they cover their heads and pray. ...

Believers and unbelievers who took the audacious act of placing God on trial do what is totally illogical -- in the midst of their hopelessness they demonstrate their faith as they march toward the gas chambers, or they defiantly embrace who they are while still remaining in heated conversation, damning God. It matters not if God still hears their prayers, or if there even is a God to hear; they still pray, they still debate -- not for God’s sake, but for their own.”

And that brings me to the one bit of actual advice I’ll give you, anon:

If you want to spend your life “hunting God down,” as I said, all power to you! But I do suggest you ponder for whose sake you do so -- and whether you do so for justice or just revenge. What good does such a quest do for those who are suffering now? Are their other paths you could follow that would bring more good? What about your own healing? I imagine you’re not interested in repairing any relationship with religion -- would walking away from God rather than hounding God be a more healing and fruitful path for your finite life?

I’ll close with one more quote from De La Torre, from the very end of his chapter:

“As I stroll through what was once the concentration camp of Dachau, I am cognizant that this space witnessed the unspeakable horrors that befell God’s children at the hands of Christians hoping for a better, purer society and future. ...So do not offer me your words of hope; offer me your praxis for justice. ...In the midst of unfathomable suffering, the earth’s marginalized no longer need pious pontifications about rewards in some hereafter. Nor do they need their oppressors providing the answers for their salvation. What is needed is disruption of the norm to push humanity toward an unachievable justice.

When there is nothing to lose, when work does not set you free, not only are multiple possibilities opened up with new opportunities for radical change unimaginable to those playing it safe; but also a venue is provided by which to get real with whatever this God signifies. ...”

[yanderecandystore]

Rip Tumblr D-do you have any dragon ocs that might kidnap their s/o? Also I know that this is a stupid question but can I call myself Cold anon? ;-;

Hello 🍨 Cold ❄️!! I'm really glad you sent me this request!

 The current app that I use for writing is bugging out a lot, so I'm sorry if there are many grammar errors and mistakes here and there.

 And uh... Cold? I think I fucked up your ask? I think I got a little too excited and went in a different direction?? If you don't like it I understand, I could always do another one 😳😋

 TW/Tags: Guess who is being an emotional ball once again?? Me! Yey! Send help! // look, I'm sorry but, low-key? This is edginess overload lol (medieval bitch times, which by that I mean: dark times with terrible people in it) // deaths // abuse of power // Reader said: eat the rich // non-binary reader just because // cursing // slight plot twist? But, like, bad plot twist // soft dragon boi 

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

You curious little thing - [Yandere!Dragon x Reader - Short Fanfiction]:

" Deep in the forest, up in the mountains, legend says that a dragon sleeps deep within the caves. And as the old story goes, gold awaits inside his domain, but only those courageous enough to enter the deep cave and defeat the dragon, would be able to take the creature's treasure.

Many have persuaded the quest of defeating said dragon, yet no one ever came back to tell the story.

And while you sit at the comfort of your small cottage reading about the old tales of the dragon's cave, you can't help but consider the story to be just that, a story. A piece of fiction made to scare the local children away from the mountains, or to enchant those that were easily invested into these types of stories.

It seems like you're one of those that were fascinated by the old tales. Regardless of if you find it true or not. The old tales still hold a mysterious charm that manages to keep you intrigued no matter what age you re-read them.

Tales of the forest spirits protecting their land with mischievous wit, tales of monsters that crawled out of your bed to cause nightmares on the simple minded, tales of mighty dragons who could easily rule the world if they so pleased to.

Yet they didn't. Either because they didn't want to, or maybe they really didn't exist. Who knows, right [Y/N]? Not that you, a simple commoner, would know any better.

Although, from the tales you read, isn't always the common folk the ones to first encounter these things?

It always ends bad, but still.

A commoner would be the first one to be affected by the wrath of such supernatural creatures.

However, as stated before, there is no way of knowing if such a thing is real or not, right? It's been eons since the last time someone even mentioned a dragon's presence in your kingdom, and it's been centuries that the concepts of dragons had fallen into the mythological category.

There hasn't been a single person to mention the beast's names in years. There was no visible way of them being remotely real, right? That sounded absurd.

But of course, like all tales are written, your's seem to have reached the beginning of your own personal adventure when the king mentioned the need of soldiers willing to face the beast inside the cave, who was presumably hibernating throughout this whole time.

And of course, the public had only laughed at this sort of news. You see, your king's authority over the entire land has been dangling by a thin thread. The taxes, the frauds, the imminent wars threatening to occur at any second now, has helped a small portion of people to start questioning if not downright rebelling against him and his reign of terror.

The revolution was rising slowly, yet something needed to push it forward, the straw that broke the camel's back.

"What could it be?" You might be wondering.

How about kidnapping and force recruitment with the help of blackmailing? Specifically targeting the poorest people in the kingdom and taking their family members hostage if they don't comply?

Sounds so evil that you may think it's bullshit right? So inhumane, that the villain of this story might as well be your crazy king, right?

Oh, [Y/N]. You're absolutely right, yet a little bit wrong considering that even if such an evil act sounds absurd, it's absolutely real. It's part of your reality now.

And even if your king is a vile creature of pure hatred and deserves to be fed to the rats, by being a terrible ruler, husband, and father- You were soon about to learn that there are worse, more powerful forces that can easily overpower the insanity of that sad, pathetic evil man.

To your dismay, your family was one of the chosen ones to suffer from this. Because of poverty, you and your father lived in the outskirts of the kingdom. It was perfect for the king and his soldiers, as you and your father lived distant from the main town, if any of you two ever die on the process of going into the beast's cave, or disobey the king's orders, no one would notice if you two were suddenly wiped from the face of the Earth.

And of course, holding hostage just one person was easier than multiple family members. Although your king was absolutely insane if not completely psychotic, you could at least understand how he moved his pieces in this massive game of chess.

I mean, yes, you understand his reasoning. Still doesn't mean he is right.

Soldiers didn't wait too long to show up and try to force your father to go with them. But you didn't take none of that, you wouldn't let your dying father be taken by them.

You screamed, you shout, you let venom spill out of your mouth by each profanity you threw at the soldiers and the king they claimed to serve. It didn't take long before the general noticed that you were one of the rascals forming a rebellion. Well, you didn't really need to be officially part of the revolution, just disagreeing was enough to make the general decide to take you instead of your old father.

You can still remember how he was trying to scream his lungs out, to stop the soldiers somehow.

This was it, right? The day, for you and possibly all these other commoners to die in the name of an asshole. How honoring.

Among you and other miserably unlucky individuals, there were all kinds of different people. From innocent, to criminals. From young to old, from poor to… Well, mildly not as poor. Nobles would never be subjected to this, you know that. All of these individuals were carried away by a carriage. All crammed into one little vehicle, away from the public sight.

After being far enough from the town and now deep within the forest, the soldiers commanded all of you to get out of the carriage as now you'll begin to walk straight to the mountain while carrying… Gold?

"- It's a gift from the king. Survive long enough, and you'll be able to take it with you." The general said, his tone being condescending as ever.

You could…. Technically run away, right now. They haven't really put any restrains in any of you-

"- Over there!" A soldier alerted the general, who looked little surprised by seeing two of your group running away with the gold in hands.

Without hesitation, or even a slight hint of empathy, the general shot both with his crossbow. Their bodies fall flat in the forest ground, with all that gold and jewelry accompanying them. All that gold being wasted and left behind, just like the bodies of the people carrying them.

You felt sick, the need to vomit was surfacing through your stomach. This- This is terrible!? This is so cruel! How can they continue to walk like nothing happened??

God, how did a once prospering kingdom has now fallen in such a low pit?

As you can imagine, the walk was torturous and it felt like it was going forever. Of course, a lot of questions were emerging about the strange situation.

One: how did the king know and was certain that the myth of the dragon was real and that the dragon was awake?

Two: why didn't he call his own army to attend to such issues instead of the common folk being forced to go with his wishes?

Actually, now that you think about it, why are there so few skilled, trained soldiers taking a bunch of people to a cave unprepared?

Carrying a bunch of gold for fucks sake, this stuff is heavy!

If it was truly a gift from the king to your group, then why were you obligated to carry it all the way to the cave? Sounds unreasonable and if anything, absolutely ridiculous. It would only slow your group down, and for what?!

Sounds like a trap to be…. Honest. Wait a minute-

"- Shit!" You whisper to yourself at the sudden realization that you're fucked, which unfortunately, caused a soldier that was near you to hear it.

"- Nothing sir, I just stabbed my foot in a rock." You weren't lying though. This whole walk bullshit your doing has destroyed your low quality sandals, and now you could basically feel the ground stabbing you every time you stept.

The soldier just grunted at you, and as much as you wished to take his sword and shove it up his bum, you couldn't help but go back to your original train of thought before you got interrupted.

You were going straight to death right? You're not supposed to fight a dragon, but rather serve as an offering?? What?!

You can't even speak or alert your fellow companions in any way. The last three people that have spoken without being directed to, were shot in the head.

The realization has sadly come in too late for you to make any plans now, as you forward as your group walk upwards, following the mountain's trail, you find yourself facing not only the entrance to a presumably dangerous cave infested with predators, but also the gates to your inevitable death.

You would now have to think of how to escape the soldiers and their arrows, or how to possibly make your death less painful. Being eaten by a dragon doesn't sound really fun.

When entering the cave you're met with more-

"- Are you fucking kidding me?!" Someone screamed, while easily accepting their death.

You couldn't help but agree with the person. While entering the cave, you're met with a great ravine, going in a spiral fashion deeper into the cave.

In other words, you have not only walked all the way up to a fucking mountain, but you would now need to get down into a creepy cave.

You almost considered asking for some eternal peace before remembering that your father's life was still in line. You just… Don't want to go away like this, you don't want your father to go like this.

And once again your group, that was now a lot shorter due to the amount of deaths along the way, was now following the general once again. Only this time, the soldiers were behind all of you, probably to guarantee no one ran away. Too late for that now anyway, so why even bother?

You didn't realize how you were on the very front of everyone, side by side with the man that was leading you to your doom.

You felt his eyes fall into your form a couple of times, but he never really turned his face to look at you. After a long silence of just a bunch of miserable people stepping closer to a terrible plan that was not well thought-out, he said:

"- You know it already. Right?" His voice was rough and still held the nonchalant tone that was written all over his face. You doubt this man could have ever smiled once in his life.

You almost choked with your own breathing, the nerve of this man! You couldn't help but let out the only thing you have wanted to say this whole time:

"- I hate you." You say as your eyes start to become a little watery. The feeling of desperation was eating you up ever since you entered the carriage, but only now you felt how bad the teeth of despair hurt.

"- I know kid. Me too." He responded, his tone never changed, even while saying that.

You guess he didn't really appreciate his job as much as you thought he did. Yet, you couldn't find in your heart to pity the man, as he was complicit in all of this mess. But I guess, you do hope for this man to find some sort of redemption, either presently or in his after life.

You still think he did a lot of bad things of course, his crimes are probably never gonna be forgiven. But just because of that, it didn't mean he couldn't start to do some good actions now, not for the sake of finding inner forgiveness, but for the sake of others. For the sake of the innocent people being not only met with unfair treatment, but also being ruled by a psychotic tyrant who is a complete imbecile. No wonder the queen and his son were missing for so long, you would probably have run away if you were them too.

When finally coming down, with your feet now hurting like a bitch, you can find some time for yourself to appreciate the beauty of this place.

You know, before you lose your head? To a freaking dragon??

Honestly, you at least hope that the stories you read were true, because holy fuck- Imagine how exhausted your body is from walking for what it feels like an eternity, holding jewelry made with gold, only to find an empty cave?

Then you would be able to go feral kill one or two soldiers before getting your ass beaten. As you don't have enough reason to just do that right now, right?

You expected to be met with disappointment, but what you truly saw while finally getting into the dragon's territory, you were able to not only feel enchanted by the magnitude of these treasure places, but also forget the danger of the situation, as you look around and remember the tales you read.

This is so much better than what you have imagined it to be like. It's… Mesmerising! It 's beautiful! The underground pond, the glowing crystals, the pile of gold, the stolen statues of the great warriors of your kingdom, golden weapons all scattered across the floor, the white feathered looking dragon staring down at you from his nest, that little tea set that is really cute and fragile yet it probably cost way more than your house, your clothes, and all of your furniture all together.

Oh no wait-

"- We came with what you asked for, Artemio." Said the general fast walking his way to be in between you and the beast.

To say you were freaking out would be an understatement. You knew dragons were huge, but you didn't expect it to be so… Huge! You know??

Oh my God, you're dead-

You looked around to see only you, your group of commoners ready to be probably eaten, and the general. And while looking for the soldiers, you noticed them trying to close the opening with a man built gate, created to keep the beast.

But obviously, that gate looks absolutely ridiculous, there is no way this guy couldn't destroy it by simply slapping it. It's quite laughable, yet…

You feel this is not just a coincidence or a bad made joke. You have a feeling they know the gate is essentially useless. It was really old, so, clearly this has been going on from quite some time.

Has… Has your kingdom been doing this for centuries?? Bringing offerings to please the dragon and beg it to sleep for more centuries to come?

"- This is absolute bullshit!" You screamed, not noticing how your heart was racing and your breathing had started to become frantic. You were panicking while coming to terms with the fact that your whole world was collapsing in front of your eyes. Your scream clearly surprised your fellow companions, yet it didn't surprise the dragon or the general.

The dragon had, well, a dragon face, so you have no idea what it was thinking, and the general was still with the same non-expressive face since the beginning of this stupid trip!

"- What?! You have nothing to say?? You brought us here to die, at least say something, you coward!" You were fuming with rage. How can a person like this be so annoying even when he is not saying anything.

He looks at you with an understanding expression, yet you don't think about what it could mean as you reach to one of the many golden weapons spread around across the floor. They were heavy and quite frankly completely useless, yet you still hold into that golden sword like your life depended on it.

And it did, actually.

Have you gone insane or just completely blind with rage and the instinct of survival? You're not sure just yet, but you'll lose your last bit of sanity to stand your ground.

You aren't going down without a fight.

"- Come at me, you big bird!" You yelled, looking kinda epic and kinda goofy at the same time. You probably shouldn't insult a dragon who hasn't decided who he'll first, it may change his appetite.

Before the general could interfere with your foolish behavior, the one and only had spoken:

"- Where exactly is what we had agreed on?" Like in true entitled brat fashion, Artemio asked the general while putting his head in his pawn.

"- We had to eliminate a couple of the troublemakers. In the end some of the gold was left behind in the progress-"

"- No, I mean, where truly is what I asked for? The jewelry is quite frankly ugly, the gold coins don't matter as I already have plenty, and none of these humans look really edible. Or well… Appetising." You could swear a pouty face was appearing in Artemio's face, yet only one thing had taken your attention. That's the reason why they needed so many disposable people? Oh… Wait a minute, did the dragon just call everyone here too ugly to eat?

"- If you can't compromise with your promises, then I think we'll have to change the deal-" Artemio started getting up from his nest, stretching out like a cat.

"- Oh, please no, can't you just-" The general panicked, thinking that the dragon would destroy the village.

"- I want that one." Artemio said. Pointing at you.

"- What?" You looked behind you just in case you were in the way of someone else. No, you weren't.

"- Uhn… What?" Oh look, even the general was confused as you, and well, the entire cast of people that were thrown in this hell hole.

"- Yes, that one holding the spear."

"- Just… That one, or-"

"- Just that one. And I won't get out of the cave for at least a century, I promise!" He sounds and acts like both a child and a cat, preparing himself to pounce on its prey any moment now.

"- ….. Okay then, fair enough. It's your problem now kid." He said, making a motion for all the other captives to follow him. Which they gladly did, because, you know, they aren't the protagonist of the story.

"- What?! You can't leave me here, you bastard!!" You screamed, although subconsciously you already knew his answer.

"- I think I'm just doing that!" He screamed from the other side of the cave, fuckz they really didn't waste no time at all, did they?

Sigh, who are you kidding? If you were one of them, you would have ran away as fast as you could. At least some gave you sympathetic looks before going back to their "freedom".

You heard the heavy gate closing. Well, shit. It's you and him now.

You tried going back into your original threatening stance, but before you could, you saw a glimpse of Artemio coming in at full speed, taking no time to jump at you. This is it [Y/N], send your last prayers to your father and your old life before-

Before he starts licking you... like a dog? What?

He pauses and you tense up, looking up and seeing a dragon powerful enough to destroy villages, looking at you like a precious little gift.

Artemio picks you up and hugs you in an almost bone breaking hug. Confused and frustrated with how the situation was going, you asked:

"- A-Aren't you going to kill me?" Yes, it was a pathetic question, if a dragon isn't killing you, then why ask it to do it??

"- I have been so lonely since the last human that I chose! I usually prefer to have many friends around but all of the other options seemed so boring, you know?" His voice is oddly cheerful and sweet to someone that sees humans as pets, or "friends". So… What is really going on here?

"- I thought you ate people." You said, still frustrated that you were betrayed and lied to through this entire day.

"- Well, I guess I can eat humans-" Says the giant bird-lizard acting like a child trying to lie about doing something wrong- "- But I really don't like doing it, I promise!"

"- I just wanted someone to play with, you know? All the dragons that I know are just so boring and take everything seriously." He huffed in annoyance.

"- Well… Do you-" You started questioning if you really want to to know the answer, but curiosity sure is killing this cat!- "- What happened to the other humans that were here?"

"- Oh, they… Uhn, they died, because of your shirt lifespan and all ya know." He responded.

"- Oh… Then why did the soldiers bring us here saying you were going to eat us?" Why not go full balls in and ask everything, right?

"- It's- Sigh, it's really embarrassing, but I didn't know any other way of how to ask for company down here." He said shyly, which only confirmed your suspicion of this being complete bullshit.

"- And you threaten to burn a whole kingdom just because of that?" You asked.

"- Yes!" He answered with no shame whatsoever. This guy was a dog wearing a dragon costume, you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"- Sigh, oh my God���"

"- Hey, uhn, what's your name?" Artemio spoke, he thought that he should also ask questions as he wants to be able to enjoy every second with his new pet.

"- It is [Y/N]. And you're Artemio, right?" You can't believe any of this, really. You went from an absolutely terrible life or death situation, to a… Well, you can't even tell what the hell is going on anymore!

"- [Y/N].... [Y/N]! [Y/N], that's such a good name!" The excited dragon repeated your name multiple times before interrupting your peace once again. You can't be mad at him, but-

Come on, you needed some time to accept everything that just went down. You didn't even notice you were on the floor until Artemio was in front of your view again.

"- [Y/N]!" He was so easy to please, that just saying your name was fun to him.

"- Sigh… Hey Artemio." You sighed as there was no way in hell this dragon would leave you to deal with this weird feeling of emptiness arising in your chest.

"- What do you want to do now?" He asked cheerfully, but not completely oblivious to your feelings of being abandoned underground with him by force.

You stayed silent for a second, again, trying to come with terms with this new lifestyle that you were subjected to. You technically could ask Artemio to open the gate, he doesn't seem to have any intention of hurting you. But who knows? He has a different point of view in this whole thing than you do.

Silence was taking over the cave, but not exactly an awkward silence, just… A comforting one.

The water dripped from the ceiling. You felt the ground underneath you shake a little as Artemio followed your "guidance". He decided to lay on his back near you.

He wasn't really doing any self reflection at all, he just wanted to join in with you, yet all he could think is how happy he is to have someone else to spend time with.

You may only see him slightly from the corner of your eyes, yet you still feel a little, strange, by seeing a dragon mimic your ways.

You don't feel nessecerally homesick, but you do miss your father. You absolutely hate the idea of coming back to the kingdom, but… If you could see your father one last time, and probably help him with the gold that is in this place….

Maybe you could even-!.....

"- Artemio."

"- Yes, [Y/N]!*

"- AAH!" He turned himself to meet your face so fast that you whimpered because of his sudden motion.

He was going to check if you were okay, but you stopped him showing that you were fine, just a little spooked.

"- Hey, Artemio-" You said again, as you were still reformulating your question in your head-

"- Do you know how to burn an entire castle?"

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Adventure of the Great Departure (Part 1)

So it’s finally here, The Great Ace Attorney! I know practically nothing about this game, except that it’s a) set in Victorian London, b) has the themes of racism and xenophobia you’d expect from a game where you play a Japanese immigrant in Victorian London, and c) features Herlock Sholmes the himbo detective! (Also I think there might be a cereal killer plot, but I’m not too sure.)

Right away I’m being given a lot of very useful information regarding the historical setting for this game. Unfortunately I’m unable to fully process it because two seconds in and I’ve already been accused of murder!

Oh Ace Attorney how I’ve missed you.

Hello Kazuma! I like the way your headband billows even though there’s no wind, and I hope you have a much longer and fuller life than my last Ace Attorney mentor.

Ok so it seems like we’re both students at the same university, but Kazuma is the protégé golden boy, who’s about to be sent abroad because he’s just That Good. Fortunately I (Ryunosuke) am his beloved best friend, and will therefore be allowed to tag along (which is a really damn good job because I’m the one front and centre of the box).

Say what you will about incredible aura, but I’m pretty sure Kazuma’s just set up some sort of fan mechanism under there.

Hello Pink Lady from the box!

As a seasoned Ace Attorney player I am immediately suspicious of anyone from the first case who isn’t a main character. I’m watching you professor!

Ok so from what I can gather from our exchange the Professor Mikotoba is the forensics pathology professor at the university (I wonder if his daughter, or whoever the pink lady is, will be our Ema Skye), and if Kazuma the golden boy takes our case an loses he won’t get to go fulfill his dream of studying abroad.

Frankly, from all their idealistic chatter about jolly old Britain, I feel like these boys might be in for a bit of a rude awakening once they actually make it to London. And I’m not sure Ryunosuke, with all his beautiful naïve innocence, is going to do too well.

And speaking of beautiful naïve innocence...

No Ryunosuke! Don’t agree to things like that!

I’m beginning to suspect Ryunosuke’s just being used as bait for Kazuma. Like someone out there really doesn’t want Kazuma to go abroad for some reason, and so they’re using his less good best friend to trap him in the country.

Oh Ryunosuke...

In all my years playing Ace Attorney I have never been more torn by a suggestion box. On one hand, the first time I play an Ace Attorney game, I try and play it in the way it should be played. And so, even though this is an UNBELIEVABLY STUPID DECISION, I feel like Ryunosuke, a man who doesn’t seem to have the words ‘Set Up’ in his dictionary, would not even hesitate to bellow I do because Professor Mikiller told him to.

On the other hand this is an UNBELIEVABLY STUPID DECISION and Kazuma should clearly be in charge.

Ok, I’ve decided I’m going to press it (partly because I think the game might punish me if I don’t) but I will have my head in my hands as I do so.

See Kazuma agrees with me.

Oh fuck, the victims John Watson Wilson!!!

Ok, so I’m re-evaluating my assumption that I (Ryunosuke) was simply bait for Kazuma, it looks like I was instead the poor expendable mug who can be pinned with causing an international incident. Is it bad that I feel like I’ve been promoted?

My god, everyone must have had a heart attack when Kazuma the Golden Boy stepped up to defend me. No wonder they didn’t want him involved!

Ok let’s bring out Professor Mikotoba the witness, so he can explain how he’s played us like a damn fiddle-

WHO THE HELL IS THAT!?!

I would like to take this opportunity to apologies to Professor Mikotoba, who is I can only assume a beloved recurring character. I’m very sorry sir but I did not see you on the box. Yes I understand that, as someone who’s favorite character is Gumshoe, this was no excuse. Please forgive me.

Side note though: Satoru’s whole *hacks up blood* ‘It’s nothing, this just happens sometimes, please ignore it and continue’ thing is the most relatable thing I’ve seen so far. As someone with a chest condition whose lungs sometimes just bleed, this is literally the response you develop. I know this guys probably a murderer and that’s probably Crime Related Blood, but for now the two of us understand each other.

Ok, so from that cross examination we’ve got one mysterious lady the waiter says he never saw, one unwillingly received Buisness card from Satoru Hosonaga, and one coughing fit my lungs started after watching Satoru wheezing away.

WHAT IS THIS!!??!!

MORE WITNESSES!!??!!

ON A FIRST CASE??!!!

DO THE SACRED LAWS OF FIRST ACE ATTORNEY CASES MEAN NOTHING TO THIS GAME!?!??

This is a neat mechanic though, and one I’ve been hoping would make it to a cannon Ace Attorney game since the Professor Layton crossover. It seems like we’re just sticking to standard testimony listening for now, rather than checking between reactions, but I’m very happy to see it’s return.

GET HIS ASS KAZUMA!!!

(Kazuma’s quickly becoming my favourite, it’s a lot of fun to have the Edgeworth over your side of the courtroom for once)

Ok, so Kazuma (who’s name my iPad now autocorrects into all caps) has shown me how to examine evidence, meaning that if I had, shall we say, a receipt with the word Maya written on it, I could turn it over to see what was written on the other side.

So, while I now know that Dr Watson Wilson wasn’t able to have tucked into that big juicy steak behind him, I just want to check that business card Satoru was so unhappy to give away...

Interesting...

I don’t know what this means, but it sure is interesting...

Now back to slamming an old man with a stolen coin (that was probably taken by the penniless guy next to him)

I’m not sure how he’s managed it, but Auchi has somehow become the most slapable of the Pains.

GET THEIR ASS RYUNOSUKE!!!

(I like how his desk slam’s changed as he gets more confident)

DAMN STRAIGHT WE’D TAKE ON THE GOVERNMENT!!!

So there’s been a coverup! Well that explains the detective posing as a waiter, but it still leaves a huge question mark over the identity of the woman in question. Other than possibly Satoru, who I can’t see as having any reason to dress up, I don’t feel like any of the current witnesses could fit the bill. Whoever she is, though, it must be someone who’s involvement could cause more problems if she was found out, which would mean that she’s either someone with a lot of political influence in Japan, or she’s someone who followed the good Dr from England (and might well have a lot of influence there).

Either way I’m beginning to suspect that, in great break from Ace Attorney tradition, NONE OF THE WITNESSES COMMITTED THE CRIME!!! (Or at least not this one.)

Don’t worry Kazuma, I turned the receipt business card over this time!

Screenshots don’t do this justice.

I don’t know what makes this better, Ryunosuke’s cheerful mile wide supposition, or the speed at which Satoru cut him off.

...are they Satoru? Are they really?

At this point I would apologies to Satoru Hosonaga, however I feel like he might have been using me as the scape goat for this murder, so I’m going to say that I’m not sorry. (We still have a weird blood related understanding though, and for that reason I am not as hostile as I might have been)

Yeah, that’s fair Ryunosuke.

WAIT WHAT!?!

Oh, it’s just a flash back gunshot. I thought someone had just whipped out a gun and shot the detective before he could say another word!

Oh dear, this goes all the way to the top doesn’t it?

Poor Ryunosuke though, he’s not even made it to the stinky rainy streets of London and already his illusions about justice are being shattered. Given that this is effectively the prologue case, I dread to see what comes next.

HELL YEAH JUGE, WERE GETTING THE KILLER LADS!!!

SATURO HOSONAGA YOU’RE BACK ON THE CHRISTMAS CARD LIST (but on thin ice)

‘So it won’t be a problem?’ Ryunosuke, weren’t you listening, it’s going to be a massive problem! Fortunately everyone else in this courtroom has just decided that you know what fuck the government actually, and so we’re doing it anyway!

Hosonaga’s trying really hard to win me back over folks, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t working.

I like this hardass judge! I’ll send him a Christmas card too.

MADE IT TO THE FIRST HALF!

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Kou Route ー Chapter 2

ー The scene starts on the Carnival’s venue

Kou: Yui, can you walk?

Yui: Yeah, I’m fine.

Kou: I see. Shall we go to our next spot then?

This time I’m gonna tag along to whichever place you like. I’m the only one who had fun at the last shop after all.

The mood got a little dark for a second too, so how about we search for a place with a lively vibe?

Yui: A lively vibe...

( Speaking of which, I only caught a glimpse from afar, but I’m pretty sure I spotted an area which looked like an amusement park on the street we passed by earlier... )

( Guess I’ll suggest that to Kou-kun...! )

Say, Kou-kun? Don’t you think there might be a place which is similar to an amusement park in the human world?

If you’d like, why don’t we go there? I’m sure it’ll be exciting and fun!

Kou: Yeah, good thinking. Which meansー ...That way, I think?

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park

Yui: Waah...!

( So this is what a Demon World’s version of an amusement park is like! )

( It doesn’t seem that much different from our version. I’m sure I’ll be able to enjoy myself here too. )

( Huh...? At second glance, there seem to be a few things which are foreign to me. )

( It might be a little scary after all... )

Kou: A little horror-esque? I have high hopes for a haunted house now!

Yui: Do you like amusement parks and such?

Kou: Guess I don’t dislike them? However, whenever I go, it’s usually work-related so I’ve never really gotten a chance to just enjoy it to my heart’s content.

Yui: You mean for your job as an idol?

Kou: Yeah. Like as the location for a shoot. It’s still fun and all but it still feels a little different from going in your private time.

Yui: You don’t go out with Ruki-kun and the others?

Kou: With the guys? Hmー...

...Uwah. I just tried imagining it but it turned even more surreal than I expected. 

Yui: R-Really?

Kou: I mean, we’d be the group of four guys going to an amusement park together. It could be fun but isn’t it also kind of cringe? (1)

It’d be much better if you were also there with us though. Like an oasis in the desert? (2)

Of course, I wouldn’t mind if it’s just the two of us either! Don’t you think that sounds nice, like a normal date?

Yui: A normal date...

Kou: Yeah, let’s do that! Say, let’s go to one sometime! I’ll make up for what I did earlier too.

Selection

→ I’d rather go somewhere else

Yui: I’d love to go on a date but if possible, I’d prefer another location...

Kou: Eh? Do you not like amusement parks, perhaps?

Yui: No, that’s not it...But I figured things could get troublesome if you go someplace crowded...

Kou: Me? Not really. I surprisingly don’t get recognized that often as long as I just act casual.

If anything, I almost want people to recognize me? It’d be my opportunity to show you off!

Yui: ( Show me off...? Is it really okay to do that...? )

→ I’d rather go with everyone... (☾)

Yui: Hm...Don’t you think it’s better to go with everyone?

Kou: Eeh? Whyー?

Yui: I mean, if we go together and one of your fans spots us, it’d cause trouble for you, right?

Kou: Ahー That’s what you were thinking? So you’re trying to be considerate of my job as an idol.

Fufu, that’s no problem, really. Just let them make a fuss if that’s what they want.

Besides, don’t you think we’d stand out more if the other guys are there too? In more than one way.

Yui: ( He might have a point there... )

Kou: You don’t like the idea of us going to an amusement park together?

Yui: That’s not it. I want to go together too.

Kou: Let’s go then! Once the Carnival is over, just the two of us. Promise?

Yui: ...Yeah!

Kou: So, what will you do? Want to just have some fun here? Or should we try going to some other place?

Yui: No. Let’s go inside for now. It looks fun!

Kou: Okay! Let’s go then!

ー They enter the amusement park

Kou: Heeh. A haunted house and an arcade. Oh, over there’s a ferris wheel.

The atmosphere’s different but the assortment of rides isn’t all that different from a regular amusement park, huh?

Yui: Seems like it.

( The mood is somewhat scary though...However, I kind of got used to it as we walked around. )

Clown A: Hello there, miss~ 

Yui: Eh!? 

Kou: Woah~! It’s a clown!

Yui: ( That scared me...That seems to be a reoccurring trend today. )

Clown A: Good evening! Is this your first time visiting Saint Nore?

Yui: Y-Yes. It is.

Clown A: Same goes for the gentleman over there?

Kou: Yeah, exactly.

Clown A: Two first timers!? In that case, you have to ride this one first!

A magic carpet ride through the sky! Even it’s name is...MAGICAL~~~!!

Yui: A magic carpet ride through the sky...!?

( I wonder if he’s referring to the magic carpets which often show up in fairytales...? )

Kou: It honestly isn’t that uncommon though. Us Vampires can just soar through the sky too. ...However.

Fufu, looks like you want to try it?

Yui: ( Hm...I am really curious... )

I-I can’t?

Kou: No, it’s fine. I will accompany the Princess~

Clown A: Okaay~! In that case, I’ll escort you both to the flying carpet ride~!

ー They enter the ride

Kou: Say, Mr. Clown? Since it’s an ‘attraction’, I assume we’re going to do more than just ride it?

Clown A: Exactly! You will sit on the carpet and collect stars!

Yui: Stars?

Clown A: Mmh! Joining forces, that is!

If the two of you have a strong bond, I’m sure you’ll be able to gather a bunch of stars!

Kou: Heeh. In that case, we definitely have to succeed!

The two of us are so very close after all!

Clown A: I see, I see! Let us take a look at your bond of love then.

Kou: Let’s try our best, M-neko-chan~!

Yui: ( I’m a little nervous...But Kou-kun’s here to help me out, so I’m sure it’ll be fine...! )

Explanation: The player moves from left to right on their magic carpet to try and collect the stars falling down from above, while avoiding obstacles such as bombs. The goal is to collect as many stars as possible within the time limit.

You can play this game in EASY, NORMAL or HARD mode.

Kou: We did it, M-neko-chan! It says we cleared the game. Also, I’m pretty sure we might have absolutely killed it?

Clown A: Exactly! A magnificent showing! Congratulations!!

Kou: Say, Mr. Clown. Don’t we get a reward now? We did well so shouldn’t we get a prize of some sorts?

Clown A: A reward?

Yui: Kou-kun, they don’t really do that at amusement parks...

Kou: Eeh~? Even though we tried that hard? Isn’t it normal to get rewarded for your efforts?

Clown A: Nn~ You’re not wrong! In that case, guess I’ll give a special reward to you two lovebirds~

Yui: Eh?

Kou: Hooray! Thank you, Mr. Clown~!

...See? You just gotta ask.

Yui: ( Could this have been Kou-kun’s goal all along...? Guess I should have expected it... )

Kou: So, what exactly is this reward?

Clown A: The right to ride on this magic carpet and enjoy the Carnival from up in the sky!

Kou: ...That’s it? Kind of lackluster, don’t you think?

Yui: K-Kou-kun!

Clown A: It’s your own VIP seat where nobody can disrupt you, you know? ...What do you say?

Kou: ...I see. Hehe~ You’re rather considerate, aren’t you?

Clown A: Right? Enjoy a nice ride together.

Kou: Let’s go, Yui. Come on, give me your hand.

*Rustle*

ー The carpet flies up in the air

Yui: Wah...!

Kou: Yui, hold onto me! It’d be bad if you were to fall down after all.

Yui: Y-Yeah...I suppose it is a little scary now that we’re actually outside.

Kou: Are you scared? 

Yui: Yeah, just a little...

Kou: It’s because you keep looking down. It won’t be scary if you look up at the sky.

Or actually, why not look at my face? Right in the eyes. Don’t you think it’ll help you relax a little?

Yui: ( A-Actually...That might only make me even more nervous...! )

Kou: Ah! Yui, look! Ruki-kun and the others are walking over there!

Oooi~ Ruki-kuuuun! Yuma-kuuuun! Azusa-kuuuun!

Yui: Ahaha! They all look surprised!

Kou: Ah-aah...Yuma-kun dropped the food in his hand.

Yui: Fufu, you’re right. Pretty sure Ruki-kun will scold him now.

Kou: ...Say, Yui. Are you having fun?

Yui: Yeah! I am!!

Kou: I see...I’m glad.

Yui: ( ...I wonder if Kou-kun is still worried about what happened earlier...? )

...I’m having a blast, Kou-kun.

Kou: Haha. Weirdo. Why did you say it twice?

Yui: Because I really am having fun...!

*TIMESKIP*

Clown A: Thank you for your visit~ Come back any time!

Kou: I was honestly a little skeptical at first, but that was pretty fun.

Yui: Yeah. You don’t get to fly through the sky every day, so it was a rare experience.

Kou: You want to fly through the air?

Yui: Not really but I guess it’s just something you look up to?

Because it’s not something you can do at any time.

Kou: Oh come on. I can grant that wish any time as long as you ask me.

While carrying you in my arms like a princess~ I guess making a journey through the sky like we did earlier doesn’t sound too bad.

Whether it’s the ocean or the sky, when you’re with me, I’d go anywhere.

Yui: Yeah. I can have fun anywhere as long as we’re together too.

Kou: Let’s go to both places then! The sea and the sky! Ah, maybe the mountains as well?

Fufu, we made more date plans. I’m looking forward to when we’re back home.

Yui: ( A date, huh? Speaking of which, we haven’t really gone on a lot of normal dates. )

( I’m kind of looking forward to it now as well. )

Kou: Ahー I guess it’s because we went all out earlier but I’m kind of thirsty now. Say, why don’t we take a little break?

Yui: Good idea. I wonder if there’s a resting area somewhere?

Kou: There’s a cafe over there. Want to go take a look?

ー They walk away. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The term むさ苦しい literally means ‘filthy’ or ‘dirty’.

(2) 紅一点 or ‘kou itten’ is an expression used to refer to a single woman amongst a group of men.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 1

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 3]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ SHUU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ SUBARU]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ AZUSA]

[callioope]

Thoughts on Critical Role Campaign 2 Episode 133 below the cut!

Post-Battle Capeleb Scene

Me to spouse as I was pressing play: “I apologize ahead of time for any squealing this episode may cause.”

Cut to Capeleb picking up Essek after the battle! All King Kong style!!! Shoving him in front of the two clerics like “Heal him!!!” ahhhh that definitely got a squeal ... incidentally just as my husband was starting a call... oops. 

Bonus: Caduceus being like “dude I wanna heal you too”

Bonus 2: everyone like “Caleb you can put him down” Caleb: nO *puts Essek on his back* i mean caleb knows better than anyone you gotta protect the squishy wizard

Bonus 3!: Jester’s comment about “He doesn’t think clearly when he’s an animal.” and Essek’s “Evidently!” lol 

Let the Cleric Rest!

Okay earlier in the episode, when Laura was insistent on “guys we need to start our long rest ASAP,” I felt that in my bones. I play a cleric in the Tomb of Annihilation campaign I’m in, and we spent 3 or 4 sessions stuck in a dungeon filled with poison gas where we took 1d6 poison damage every hour. So no long rests there. Top that off with the fact that we’ve been in the Chultan jungle even longer, and we don’t get long rests unless we can find and secure a very safe location, and the pain of being a spellcaster and not getting a long rest is REAL.

And then no one was acknowledging her at first! Yeah later Fjord and Beau were like “yeah yeah we agree” but she had to say it so many times!!! And I kept shouting at my screen “listen to Laura Bailey!!!” thinking “my dudes you can do ALL of this talking and planning while you rest pleeeeze get that rest it” because I play a cleric too and running out of a spells is a thing.

Of course, having finished the episode/in hindsight, I’m actually not sure if the even had a full 8 hours from the moment Jester finished her Commune with Artagan to the moment the Tomb Takers arrived, but still. I feel so bad for Laura right now knowing she only has ONE SPELL SLOT left and they’re going up against the Lucien and Cree. She’s clever so I’m sure she’ll think of something but that just is a really sucky feeling going into any battle knowing you don’t have a lot of slots left, let alone The Super Scary Big Battle ahead. soo. yeah. Gonna be worrying about that all week through the end of the next episode. 

Also side note but jeez poor Laura rolling two one’s on that Heroes Feast. She needs to cleanse her dice or buy new ones altogether. she has the WORST luck with rolls.

TOWER TALK & TOUR!!!!!

IT!!! FINALY!!! HAPPENED!!!! I have been longing for Essek to see the Tower since episode 124 if not longer and at last! It was wonderful. AND CALEB SHOWED HIM THE NINTH FLOOR!!! amazing. fantastic. and what a talk. what a talk. ughh yes. they didn’t really have much time in the Tower outside of the Heroes Feast and the long rest but i’m sooooo glad Caleb got the chance to give the tour and they could talk. YAY!

Pursuing Lucien & Cree

Does anyone have any ideas of what they can do here? UGHH i wanna speculate on the best strategy for them (just because I find it to be a fun thought exercise). Like digging through the collapsed tunnel might take too long? Although we have no idea how long Lucien and Cree need. Hopefully the lack of the rest of the 3 Tomb Takers slows them down somewhat but who even knows at this point. I’ve been wondering if there are any teleportation spells that might work -- but Essek’s teleport is way too high to risk in Aeor right? Wonder if there’s any spells to magically clear the rubble? I’m stumped on this one. Super excited to see what they do but in the meantime while I have to wait would love to ponder this puzzle.

Fjord & the Rangers

not super wanting to like dive into intense discourse about this but like. I did have thoughts so here goes. I don’t blame Fjord for making the decision that he did, he had to make a spilt second decision and it seemed very in character for him to choose what he did. It did seem like he was trying to stall to help his party members get more rest, and it makes sense that he’d want to do that, BUT. here’s the thing. Battles in DND only take a minute or so TOPS. There’ s no way the battle itself would slow down the TT. If you’re hoping to delay the TT, you gotta hope the rangers can do enough damage to force them to at least take a short rest if not a long one. That’d only give an hour and that’s still not enough for the long rest the M9 need. 

ALL THAT SAID!!! I think there’s a very good chance that whatever that battle did helped lower the TT’s HP enough so that the traps the M9 laid could finish off the three members it did. So I don’t think it was in vain. Worth it as a delay tactic? Ehh not really. Worth it to hurt the TT? Yes.

And while I do think that Fjord and Essek knew the chances were high they were sending the rangers to their Doom (a) I think the rangers being here in Aeor know that’s an everyday possibility to begin with, and (b) I still think there’s a chance they might have been able to survive/flee. Maybe the TT decided to push past them and fled from the skirmish themselves? Yes it’s possible everyone (including Dagen T_T) fell during that battle, but I don’t think that’s set in stone. 

Also I don’t think the TT would think it’s weird to come across the rangers, they likely already knew they were there. And another thing -- even if they were like “Hmm rangers coincidentally by the entrance we were going to use?” Look they know the M9 became unscryable AND were trying to stop them. I honestly think the TT knew to be on the lookout for TM9 no matter what. And in hindsight -- which obvs Fjord did not have but we know now -- Lucien way underestimated them bc hey, despite everything, the trap still worked. Like, very much of what the M9 was trying to do during this whole arc was keep their cards close to their chest so Lucien would underestimate them. They really did lay the groundwork for that when they were traveling with them. Yeah technically they sort of revealed some of their hand during the Gelidon fight buuut they also ran from the TT limping later that day. So. Yeah. Anyways. 

I’m rambling now and gotta go start dinner. But those are my initial thoughts!!!! Happy to engage in polite discourse. Main things I love talking about are theories for what happens next!!! and also hello, this is my first like, big post in the tag although I’ve already posted a few times in the shadowgast tag. 

[albatris]

can you tell me abt your wip?

yes! it’s about cracks in the fabric of spacetime and loving your friends!

anyway my answer is yes, yes I can tell you, I have things that I’m capable of saying, sure, sure

I usually like my writeblr experience to be the “I’m just gonna ramble about characters and plot points with no context and if you wanna come along for the ride feel free to jump in whenever!” type more so than the “I am presenting to you a nice neat WIP and I am very careful with my words and I am trying to spark intrigue among future readers” type

so I don’t have any nice neat posts or beautifully worded synopses or detailed character profiles (edit! I do have some of these now!)......... what I have is an all-encompassing “ATDAO” tag that I throw all of my everything into with no rhyme or reason. it’s full of things such as art, brief excerpts, long-winded rambles, and spoilers!

but for now, I will speak to you a series of words, like so:

the story is called All The Doors Are Open!

it’s YA! sci-fi-ish! fantasy-ish! comedy-ish! I’m real bad at genres! it’s something I’d describe as “our reality but a little to the left”, though it gets progressively weirder and weirder as it goes on

it’s set in South Australia, n it’s set in a world where the fabric of reality is starting to unravel at the edges and cracks in the universe called “Ports” are cropping up..... n these cracks are letting in all sorts of whacked out energy, fuckin with physics, causing weird phenomena.......... basically reality’s comin' apart slowly but surely and everyone’s just sorta like “ah geez” about it but like. what can ya do. it’s not like all your normal people problems are gonna go away just ‘cuz the world is edging towards its inevitable weird doom

so people are just kinda going about their lives against this bizarre apocalyptic backdrop and hoping they don't, like, glitch through the sidewalk on their way to the supermarket

the story is about several people, and four of these people are:

Tris, panic attack in human form, who has just been the sole witness to a freak car accident that somehow caused his older brother to vanish from this plane of existence entirely

Noa, edgy intimidating badass, definitely hiding no insecurities or trauma at all whatsoever, who has just had a weird run-in with a Port and is discovering that she can now bend the reality around her

Shara, socially anxious paranormal investigator & conspiracy enthusiast, hunting the answers to and meaning of three strange events from her past in the hopes that they will lead her to the source of the apocalypse

and Kai, nonbinary force of chaos, struggling to deal with the emotional repercussions of losing seven years of their life to a time loop and the fact that their family thinks they died

and it’s mostly just about these guys trying to deal with the weird apocalyptic garbage happening to them alongside their everyday lives, and about how all their individual odd little mysteries connect with each other and form a bigger, odder mystery

here are some things about it that I like, and that you might like, but I don’t know you, so who knows:

the story is equal parts “absolute nonsense hijinks and ridiculousness that doesn’t take itself too seriously” and “oh fuck oh ouch oh no my heart”

every single main character ends up safe and happy and in a much, much, much better place than they started

there’s several mentally ill heroes, including one with psychosis and one with a dissociative disorder, whose mental illness/es aren’t ever used as a cheap plot twist or to go “OHOHO NONE OF IT WAS EVER REAL IT WAS ALL JUST IN THEIR HEAD THE WHOLE TIME HAHA GOTCHA” because ew

it’s full of weird glitchy unreality nonsense and general atmospheric weirdness, and I get to do lots of sick kickflips with words about it

there’s one cat named Leonardo DiCatrio and another named Ms Frizzle, and some scenes where various members of the gang get to hang out with a bunch of extremely excited huskies, so that’s nice

I’m forgetting what I’ve already mentioned

and what's important to mention

I’m going to end this list

oh!

all the themes are incredibly cheesy, such as self love, friendship, the goodness of humanity, the power of kindness and connection, believing in yourself, etc........ just some real good high quality cheese

somewhere in the recesses of the ATDAO tag there are character profiles, a plot explanation and also a comic sans powerpoint presentation in which I talk about it all in more detail, but it’s all very wordy, and some of it is outdated, you can go take a look if you like, I won’t link it here because I'm lazy, it will just be a fun quest you can go on should you so choose, I can provide a map and some snacks for the journey

also please note that my rambling text posts with horrid grammar are not indicative of my writing abilities when actually Writing A Novel

ur not getting nice prim proper articulate logan today, ur getting. well. me. hello

anyway that’s all I can say 4 now, thanks for the ask, love u, goodnight