#after the first entry where i declared it the “everything sucks” journal??

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

.

[ahgaseda]

the hot tea || chapter 03

⇥ synopsis : your best friend, Jackson, never fails to argue against your apathy toward love and romance, but his plan to confess his true feelings toward you is rudely interrupted when you start a blog chronicling your past relationships...

⇥ warnings : this story in its entirety includes but is not limited to strong language and dialogue, recurring alcohol or drug use, and explicit sexual content, and is intended for an adult audience only!

It was a cold and dark winter’s night when I decided that love doesn’t exist. Not just the concept of love either. I was convinced that sustainable, healthy relationships were a myth conjured by Disney movies and condom commercials.

I hadn’t come to this decision lightly. In fact, I tried to argue against my own rationale, but when I sat down in the middle of the night and evaluated my choices where romance was concerned, I realized I was the problem. I was incapable of building a life with someone.

Naturally, since sleep was a long gone option, I did some research and I came across an interesting theory. In 1985, psychologist Robert J. Sternberg hypothesized that there are, in fact, seven types of love which he categorized into the Triangular Theory of Love. According to him, there are three key aspects in a relationship and depending on which ones you do or don’t have, defines the type of love experienced in said relationship.

Okay, that was a mouthful. Don’t worry, I will break it down. I’m only mentioning this theory, because it will influence the narrative later on.

It seems I have been lucky - or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it - enough to have experienced all seven types of love over the course of the ten years of frolicking I did before finally swearing off dating. I’ve loved and lost. I’ve almost walked down an aisle. I’ve been taught many lessons by pain and pleasure.

To be honest, I don’t know what I hope to achieve with this saga of my attempts to find a happily ever after. I’m assuming this will be a cathartic process for me. Maybe I can move on and accept my fate as a lonely girl with a string of lovers in her wake. Or perhaps I can convince myself that I’m wrong and happiness is still waiting out there...

You were tempted to smash your face on the keyboard and delete everything. Who in the hell thought this was a good idea? “This intro blows,” you groaned loudly.

“Hey,” Jackson called, sitting across from you at the small table and pushing a cup of tea your way.

“Hey back,” you replied with a smile, taking the drink eagerly. “Thank you.”

He tilted his head. “Ready to post?”

“I think so,” you told him, chuckling with nerves and hiding your obvious hatred for your opening monologue. “Once I do, it’s out on the internet forever.”

“You’re not using any real names, though,” Jackson reminded with a noncommittal shrug. “Nothing to worry about it.”

You sighed, “I know.”

Jackson pretended to peer over your screen, but you didn’t flinch. With a raised eyebrow, he teased, “I’m included in this fuckery, right?”

You droned, “Considering we’ve been having sex for the past year, yes.”

Jackson snorted.

Lifting your eyes from the laptop, you asked quietly, “Did you tell him we’re sleeping together?”

Jackson gave you a look that the mere thought terrified him to the core. Of the few occasions he had been in physical fights with his best friend, he had lost every single one of them. Jackson chalked that up to him being a lover and not a fighter, generally to soothe his battered dignity.

With a nervous smile, he explained, “I told him that I’m sleeping with someone, but I didn’t drop any names.”

You already assumed that, because you had never received an angry phone call from your ex suggesting otherwise. “Good, because that’s a conversation I never wanna have.”

“You and me both.”

The two of you drank your tea in unison, an air of silence falling over the room. After a pregnant pause, you studied Jackson and asked, “Are you going to read it?”

“I want to,” he answered without hesitation. “But that’s up to you.”

Letting your head rest on your hand, you pressed, “May I ask why?”

Jackson said nothing and you knew he was deciding what to say. He was the type to answer right off the cuff; honest to a fault. When he couldn’t come up with a decent lie, Jackson finally said, “Maybe I like a little insight.”

“You wanna know why I am the way I am,” you replied, not surprised.

He sipped his tea. “More or less.”

“And you think reading a rundown on my exes will explain everything?”

“It’s supposed to be cathartic for you, right?” Jackson barked, trying to shift the focus off of himself. “For others, it will be entertainment. I hope you know that.”

His harshness was out of character and unwarranted, but you took it in stride as best you could, knowing the last thing he intended to do was hurt your feelings. With a nod, you murmured, “I do.”

Jackson shook his head, noticing your voice had softened, and scrambled for words, “I only meant to say...”

“Hello, my beautiful ride or die bitch,” Krystal greeted as she marched inside the shop. When her eyes fell on Jackson, she frowned and grumbled, “You’re still here?”

“I own the building,” Jackson reminded flatly.

After hugging your best friend, you chided, “Krystal, he’s literally the nicest person I know and you manage to get a rise out of him.”

Krystal cut her eyes at Jackson and hissed like a viper, “He irritates me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Jackson returned, his tone a borderline growl.

You chortled. At this point, you were accustomed to their general disdain for each other.

Krystal landed her attention on your laptop and chirped excitedly, “Ooh, are you posting yet? Can I read it?”

“It’s just an intro,” you told her, again stifling the urge to reveal how much you loathed it. “I won’t get to the meaty bits until later.”

“Speaking of meat, I think you should get some, Krystal,” Jackson spoke up, feigning concern. “There’s that new dildo shop around the corner.”

With a scowl, Krystal retorted, “Is that where you bought the one currently shoved up your ass?”

“Disappointed but not surprised,” you hummed, throwing up your hands. “Can you two ever get along?”

“No,” said Jackson and Krystal simultaneously.

Waving her forward, you crooned, “Krys, as the one who gave me the idea, you should come read the first post.”

Narrowing her eyes at Jackson, she sashayed to your side. “I will do that.”

Jackson pointed and muttered under his breath, “Yeah, you’re the one encouraging this.”

“Since I’ve been with her through all of said relationships, I know first-hand how novel-worthy they are. Now, shoo.”

Jackson took your empty cup, you thanked him, and he disappeared into the back momentarily. A hand sharply swatted your arm.

You shrieked, “Ow, what was that for?”

Krystal was scathing in reproach, “You’re supposed to defend me. I’m your best friend. I don’t care how big his dick is.”

“Girl, last night…,” you started, holding up your hands to demonstrate the size you were dealing with.

Krystal made a swift array of screeching sounds, yelling, “I don’t want to hear it!”

“You know there’s gonna be a lot of sex on this blog, right?”

“I’m prepared for that and very much looking forward to it, obviously. It’s just…,” she trailed, glancing up as she frowned. “Jackson is too nice.”

You gawked at such a pitiful excuse. “What’s wrong with that?”

She folded her arms and leaned back in the chair, musing, “I don’t trust someone who doesn’t have a dark side.”

You mirrored her posture and countered, “Maybe his Mama raised him right.”

“He’s still a man,” she deadpanned.

Jackson returned from the kitchen and announced, “I’m back. You can stop talking about me now.”

Krystal rolled her eyes.

Retaking his seat, Jackson rounded on your friend and said, “I do have a dark side, you know.”

“Is that so?” she asked without missing a beat.

“Yeah, one time when I felt particularly snarky, I microwaved a pop tart inside of its package.”

You snickered, amazed that such a kind-hearted and mischievous boy could turn into such a ruthless animal in the bedroom.

Krystal asked, “And how did that work out for you?”

Shamelessly, Jackson replied, “It exploded.”

“That’s why it says ‘don’t microwave inside the foil,’ dumbass,” your best friend howled.

Jackson leaned against your side and nudged you with his arm, declaring, “No one tells me what to do.”

Giggling slightly, you reached over and tickled his waist.

After a grimace at the affection, Krystal promptly finished reading your entry and said, “Short and sweet, I like it.”

You smarted, “This may come as a shock, but I hate it.”

Krystal seemed genuinely surprised at your admission. “Why? It’s perfect. A little humor, some psychology, and a hint of what’s to come.”

“It’s awkward,” you began.

Jackson chimed in playfully, “You’re awkward.”

“That’s not what you said last night,” you quipped under your breath.

“Ew, stop,” Krystal exclaimed, holding up her hand. “What if you try a different format? Like… diary or journal entries?”

“Sure, I can see it now.” Jackson continued dramatically, as if narrating a book, “Dear diary, I sucked my first dick today.”

There was no fluctuation or amusement in her voice when Krystal said, “Very funny.”

“Dear Diary, I will now be embarking on a journey of self-discovery and bullshit,” you spoke, whimsical but wholly sarcastic. “On this blog I will attempt to regale my audience of two with the emotional - and sexual - highs and lows of my past relationships.”

“And at some point along the way learn to love myself a little more,” Krystal prosed, smiling as she pushed the computer toward you.

Jackson rubbed your shoulder encouragingly, offering his signature smirk.

Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you clicked the button to publish your first post and quickly closed the laptop. “Alright, no turning back now,” you said, content to be distracted by the company and support of your best friends for the rest of the evening.

Tomorrow you would write about your first love.

chapter 02 ⇤ chapter 03 ⇥ chapter 04

- Katya

{ do not copy or re-post without my permission }