#ah my goal is now higher but i think for January i will make it an even number for the sake of stimuwrite that despises strange numbers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tiramisiyu · 3 years

Text

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Main Story 7-9 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Video

Chapter 7 – Rains of Monte Cristo: 7-1 / 7-3 / 7-5 / 7-7 / 7-9 / 7-11 / 7-13 / 7-15 / 7-17 / 7-19 ♦️ ♦️ 7-20 / 7-22 / 7-24 / 7-26 / 7-28 / 7-30 / 7-32 / 7-34 / 7-35

Yan Wei’s news was truly shocking.

Zuo Ran: When was the corpse discovered?

Yan Wei: Past midnight the day before yesterday. Patrol boats fished it up.

Zuo Ran: Is the cause of death confirmed?

Yan Wei: There were assault wounds on Xu Ping’s head, and there were binding marks on his wrists. According to the forensics anatomical results…

Yan Wei: After being knocked unconscious from the back via assault to his head, he was tied to heavy items and thrown into the sea.

Zuo Ran: Aside from these, were any other indications left?

Yan Wei: The corpse was soaking in the sea for too long, and most indications have already disappeared.

Zuo Ran: Has the place where he fell into the sea been confirmed?

Yan Wei: Yes. It’s around this position.

Yan Wei turned on his phone, opening a map of the nature park.

Yan Wei: Based on the corpse’s state of decay, and the direction and speed of sea water flow…

Yan Wei: Xu Ping fell into the sea from the peak of this mountain on the north side of the nature park.

Zuo Ran: Then do you know who pushed him down?

Yan Wei: This is where the issue lies. This north area is an unopened region.

Yan Wei: People don’t go there, and there’s no surveillance.

Yan Wei: We looked at the surveillance records of the main entrance and didn’t notice anyone suspicious. People in the unit suspect…

Yan Wei: The murderer might have left from this abandoned door on the northeastern side.

Zuo Ran: Is that so…

Zuo Ran: At what time was Xu Ping murdered?

Yan Wei: Combining the corpse’s anatomical information and Xu Ping’s final trail of movement…

Yan Wei: The current inferred time is around the time where he was reported as missing, which would be between January 27th and 29th.

Zuo Ran: …

Zuo Ran: I understand the situation. I’ll go take a look at the inferred crime location.

Zuo Ran: Leader Yan, thank you for telling me this.

Lu Jinghe’s Art Studio

After sending off Xu Yin, since Yan Wei was temporarily away from the office, our meeting with Wang Chunchong was pushed back by two hours.

Thus, Lu Jinghe and I went to his studio to rest for a bit and make some preparations for the meeting afterwards.

As I was organizing the case files, I thought back on what Xu Yin said.

MC: Lu Jinghe, do you think Xu Yin and Wang Chunchong really know information about Qin Shan and Heirson?

Lu Jinghe: As Wang Chunchong has the voice recording as proof, with his relation with Qin Shan, it’s highly likely that it’s true.

Lu Jinghe tugged gently at his tie.

Likely because he’d arrived at his “comfort zone”, he gradually relaxed from the serious manner he had when meeting with Xu Yin earlier.

Lu Jinghe: But Xu Yin… I feel like she doesn’t know much useful information.

Lu Jinghe: When she was talking about how much she knew about Qin Shan, it probably it was to make us agree to help her.

MC: Based on this, Xu Yin probably doesn’t know about the investigation team’s matters.

Lu Jinghe: Correct.

MC: But for us, we got a lot out of this time.

MC: Aside from himself, Wang Chunchong’s case also involves Hang Jiahe.

MC: Using the case investigation as a reason to get in contact with them is an easy and indetectable method for us.

Lu Jinghe: Yeah… for this, we should thank Xu Yin.

Lu Jinghe: Alright, let’s stop talking about that. How’s reading the files going?

Lu Jinghe: Have you thought about how you’ll question Wang Chunchong in a moment?

MC: Pretty much.

MC: Based on the investigation report, the evidence that the police used to charge Wang Chunchong – aside from the ones that Xu Yin previously mentioned…

MC: There’s another crucial one, which is Wang Chunchong’s crime motive.

MC: Regarding this, the report only mentioned that Wang Chunchong got into a dispute with Hang Fei and his wife regarding Hang Jiahe’s betrothal gift.

MC: After, we need to ask in detail regarding the police and Wang Chunchong’s exact situation.

Lu Jinghe: Is that so…

MC: The police’s inferred process of Wang Chunchong’s murdering also requires heavy scrutiny.

MC: Also, proof that Hang Jiahe, who has a close relationship with Hang Fei and Qi Yu, was not at the scene needs to be verified.

MC: After all, betrothal gifts is not the matter of a single person. Hang Jiahe’s attitude regarding this matter is still unclear.

MC: If she stood on Wang Chunchong’s side, then she would also have a motive for murder.

MC: For now, I’m preparing to use these questions as the major questioning points.

Lu Jinghe: Then have you noticed anything wrong with the pieces of evidence that Xu Yin mentioned?

MC: It doesn’t seem like there are any problems with the source of the hammer and drugs, but the nature park’s surveillance video…

MC: You also saw before that the video only recorded the park’s entrance. There’s nothing regarding what happens after one enters the park.

MC: From a strict perspective, one can’t confirm Wang Chunchong’s movements in the park.

MC: This is also an issue that requires focus.

Lu Jinghe: Pretty good – finding this many issues and questioning points in such little time, as expected of the lawyer jiejie.

MC: You praise me in excess, CEO Lu. This is merely the “sensitivity” I should have as a lawyer.

MC: Plus, I feel like you’re more amazing than me.

MC: Not only were you able to infer Xu Yin’s goal and thought process…

MC: At the restaurant earlier, when you were talking to her, you intentionally raised your tone to lead her on, right?

Lu Jinghe: *sigh*…

Lu Jinghe sighed, half helplessly and half pitifully.

Lu Jinghe: Sometimes, I really wish you weren’t this smart.

Lu Jinghe: You see through everything, so how am I supposed to show my intelligent, handsome image in front of you and heighten your favour for me?

MC: ???

MC: Ahem… what are you talking about…

Lu Jinghe: What’s the matter, are you… feeling shy?

MC: …

Lu Jinghe: Alright, I won’t tease you anymore. You guessed right, I was doing that on purpose earlier.

Lu Jinghe: Xu Yin’s “battled” in the business world for many years, and her alertness is much higher than typical people.

Lu Jinghe: Typically, when such people are in unfavourable situations, they will opt to not make any movements for the moment and watch for changes.

Lu Jinghe: But as soon as we met today, Xu Yin spoke up first before you and me, seeing to be in a particular rush to display her sincerity.

Lu Jinghe: Why would she do so? There is only one possible reason.

MC: She wants to be the active one in this discussion and turn things from her disadvantages?

Lu Jinghe: Indeed. And the fact that she has the confidence to do so is due to now she believes she holds a bargaining chip that can be used to negotiate with us and wanted to battle with us.

Lu Jinghe: But before true negotiations started, she had to confirm whether her bargaining chip would be effective.

Lu Jinghe: So she specifically brought up her relation with Hang Jiahe, using this to observe our reaction.

Lu Jinghe: Since she’s worked so hard, then I’ll give her a “hint” to see what she knows.

MC: (No wonder – when Xu Yin was talking to me, she looked towards Lu Jinghe instead.)

Lu Jinghe: But in the end, I merely lifted my tone by a bit, and Xu Yin just told me everything.

MC: To be able to figure out such a precise method to handle Xu Yin – Lu Jinghe, you really are worthy of your name!

Lu Jinghe: There are lots of people like this in the business word. Xu Yin’s not that big of a deal; I’ve encountered people who are even harder to handle than her.

MC: People who are harder to handle… then you…

Lu Jinghe: Don’t worry – who am I, after all? I’m Lu Jinghe. Who can pull anything off against me?

MC: Pfft…

Lu Jinghe: What’re you laughing at?

MC: Nothing, I just felt like it’s been a long while since I saw your “overbearing CEO” side. It feels a little reminiscent.

Lu Jinghe: Oh? Looks like you quite like my “overbearing CEO” side.

Lu Jinghe: Ugh… if I knew you liked those earlier, I wouldn’t have played an understanding, good little brother.

MC: (That’s too much… Master Lu… that’s too much…)

Lu Jinghe: Haha, I was just joking to liven up the atmosphere.

Lu Jinghe: Looks like it’s almost about time. I’m going to change clothes, and after, we can head to the police station.

Lu Jinghe: Having to wear a suit when I’m not even at work – it really isn’t comfortable at all.

Lu Jinghe got up and walked towards the inner room.

Five minutes later, Lu Jinghe walked out again, wearing that suit still.

MC: Weren’t you going to change? Why are you still in the suit?

Lu Jinghe: Uh… could you help me?

MC: What’s the matter?

Lu Jinghe: There’s a button on my shirt that I haven’t been able to unfasten, for whatever reason. Could you help me see what’s the matter?

MC: Button?

Only then did I realize that Lu Jinghe was holding onto his shirt, looking extremely distressed.

MC: Let me see. Did it get entangled in thread?

I got near Lu Jinghe.

Lu Jinghe: How is it, can you see the issue?

MC: It is indeed tangled in the thread. I’m guessing that you accidentally looped it on somewhere.

MC: Don’t move just yet, I’ll untangle the thread for you.

Lu Jinghe: Ah… okay.

Lu Jinghe went silent.

I delicately untangled the thread in front of me, but I didn’t know why…

Through the thin shirt, I could feel that Lu Jinghe’s body felt somewhat stiff.

MC: Lu Jinghe, what’s the matter? Are you tired?

Lu Jinghe: N-no…

MC: Then why’s your body this stiff?

Lu Jinghe: *sigh*…

Lu Jinghe: Asking me why I’m stiff – jiejie, you sure aren’t great at reading the mood.

MC: ???

Lu Jinghe: Look up at me.

Following his instructions, I lifted my head.

Lu Jinghe’s smile was suddenly magnified in front of me. He gazed at me, a smile floating in his dark irises.

A breeze blew past, and a familiar, cool scent hit my face.

MC: …

My hands stopped moving unconsciously, and I did nothing more than look back at Lu Jinghe.

Lu Jinghe: …

As if he didn’t expect my reaction, Lu Jinghe froze, then smiled.

Lu Jinghe: Don’t you feel like our actions and atmosphere right now feel a little fantastical?

MC: What?

Lu Jinghe: Look, with our position right now, I am the only one in your eyes, and you are the only one in mine.

Lu Jinghe: There’s sunlight and birdsong outside the window, and around you and me…

Lu Jinghe: There’s no strife and no trouble. The only tiny “issue” was one you’ve already easily solved…

Lu Jinghe: This feeling of calm, happy times feels like we have lived together for very long already…

MC: !!!

I suddenly retracted my hand.

MC: L-Lu Jinghe, what are you talking about?!

Lu Jinghe: I was just expressing my view, why so agitated?

Lu Jinghe: Could you have been thinking the same as me? And what I said was exactly what you were thinking?

MC: W-who’s thinking the same as you? Don’t speak nonsense…

Lu Jinghe: Really? Then why were you looking at me the whole time?

MC: I… I…

MC: R-right, weren’t you going to change? The button’s already been untangled, so hurry off.

Unable to explain my strange actions just now, I could only muddle through with a random excuse.

Lu Jinghe: *laugh*…

Lu Jinghe: Okay, I’ll go now.

Lu Jinghe: Just be good and wait here for me.

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #zuo ran #lu jinghe #artem wing #marius von hagen #未定事件簿 #tot translation #LJH is..... really charming dsjkfhdsjk

12 notes · View notes

kobayashi-aika · 4 years

Text

Before “a new departure”—Kobayashi Aika, Takatsuki Kanako, Furihata Ai’s five years with Aqours (Translated Interview)

For simplicity’s sake, each seiyuu’s line indicators will be denoted as either F(urihata), K(obayashi), or T(akatsuki).

TL: arb TLC: xIceArcher QC: Mega, Yujacha

All nine of us are a little different, but put us together and we become Aqours

—It’s the 5th anniversary of Love Live Sunshine’s school idol group Aqours. The “Aqours 5th Anniversary Jimo Ai! Take Me Higher Project” is now underway, including the series’ first dome tour. But first, please tell us your impressions about the Dome Tour’s theme song, “Fantastic Departure!”.

T: (joyfully) It feels like “the sea”! (laughs)

F: A whale?

T: A dolphin?

All 3: (all having fun) Yeah, yeah, yeah! (laughs)

K: That’s the part that leaves an impression on you, right?

T: It’s easy to think of what it would look like at the concert, right? Like, you...

K: Like getting beckoned by a dolphin to ride a whale? (laughs)

F: The new songs totally have a sea motif, which is something we’ve surprisingly never had before.

K: “Fantastic Departure!” has lots of back-and-forth lyrics, so the image of everyone [in the audience] singing comes to mind. It’s making me excited for the concerts.

F: It’ll definitely be a really nice song live.

T: It feels like every year, our new songs keep getting more difficult.

K: Right, right.

F: [This song has] quite a lot of low parts, right?

T: The A melody is low, but the chorus is high.

K: I think it’s also because we’ve become an Aqours that can take on these kinds of challenges. Our cooler sides can start showing.

T: Recently, our songs have stopped sounding anime song-ish, but in a good way. We’ve had a lot of songs that are somewhere in between anime songs and J-pop — a very “Aqours-like” place.

K: The genre is “Aqours”!

T: A stylish feel...?

K: Stylish sound!

T, F: Ahaha!

F: The lyrics are packed with an Aqours-like feeling, and the song has a stylish sound!

—What were some of your favorite lines during the recording?

K: I like Hanamaru’s “Where is it? Where is it?”

T: Hey! (laughs) Recently, my habit’s been getting worse every time we record...

K: You noticed? (laughs)

F: (while looking at K and T) Those two often record first. I listen to their voices while I record.

K: When I listen to Hanamaru-chan singing, I can find lots of parts that I really like.

T: I want to listen to all of the individual versions once. When we’re recording, we don’t know who will get which part, so there are phrases we approach differently. Everyone has their own unique ideas, so it’s exciting to hear them and think “Ah, so that’s how they’re singing it!”

K: They’re releasing the solo albums (Aqours First Solo Concert Album), right?

T, F: Right! That’s great.

F: I want everyone to hear how much we’ve all grown. The nine of us are all different, but the moment you put us together and we become Aqours is amazing.

K: And speaking of the “Fantastic Departure!” lyrics, the “A fantastic departure” phrase had a pretty difficult rhythm.

T: I know~. The rhythm was really tight.

K: Right. I could really get used to that.

F: It’s a little nerve-wracking thinking we’ll have to perform that live, huh?

Hata Aki-san’s lyrics really represent Aqours’ feelings

—In the B-side “Aqours Pirates Desire”, you have the “Dan-Da-Dan//We’ll steal it!” part. It’s a really addicting song.

All 3: (joyfully) Dan-Da-Dan!

K: You like that part, right, Kanako?

T: Right, I love the world view. I also love the “Dan-Da-Dan” and the “Da-Dan Da-Dan” parts.

—How was the recording?

All 3: (smiling) It was really fun!

F: There were a lot of “Dan-Da-Dan”s, so it was really fun.

K: But it feels like I’ll mess it up at some point, so I’m a little worried about the concerts. (laughs)

F: You might end up repeating the wrong one.

T: I’m excited for the choreography and the costumes! I want to have some accessories on it.

F: Some pirate accessories?

K: Oh, right! I thought we would have taiko drums! (laughs)

T: Just call them regular drums! (laughs)

F: There’s that line, “Beat the signal drum“. (laughs)

K: Everyone doing it together!

T: We might just have a performance like that (laughs).

F: I like the (singing) “The red flag of freedom//will part the wind for you to run“ part.

T, K: I know, right?

T: Then there’s “(A black skull and crossbones//The wild seas)//We’ll overcome it～～♪ “, and it gets really low after.

K: Is that the lowest Aqours has ever gone?

F: Maybe! Both songs are really cool. They’ve got a lot of really powerful lyrics like “Plunder” or “We’ll steal it! “.

T: “Fantastic Departure!” and “Aqours Pirates Desire” make for a strong combination. Both give the feeling of strength on the seas. I think they’ll be popular songs at the concerts.

K: They seem really exciting. [The fans] will probably like them.

—In what ways do you feel the charm of Hata Aki-san’s lyrics?

K: The lyrics often represent our feelings. In these two songs, there’s “A fantastic departure”, “A huge world//A vast world is waiting for us “, and “Search for it“. All of which really symbolize the current Aqours.

T: Recently, it feels like we’re walking down a path Hata-sensei created. It feels like she’s guiding us towards the future.

F: Even if we haven’t fully grasped the lyrics by the time we record, as time passes, we come to realize that “this is what Hata-sensei was talking about.” We sing a lot of songs about how we’ll feel in the future. Like, “Hata-sensei was already thinking this far into the future with her lyrics”. And as time passes, the appeal of those lyrics start to sink in.

K: Very deep.

T: Yup, very deep.

“It’s thanks to Aqours that we’re back” μ's words were really moving

—Going back in time a bit, Love Live! Fes was held in January 2020. You overcame the “walls” of the franchise to perform together with μ's and the Nijigasaki High School Idol Club. In particular, you were all able to make the dream of standing on the same stage as μ's come true. Looking back, how was that?

F: It was really... I’m glad we did it. (She seems deeply emotional)

T: (lost for words) Wow... It truly was...

K: (while deeply nodding) Yeah...

F: The thing we’ve always been wishing for these five years finally came true.

K: We've been wishing for it for so long... while it was a goal, we also ended up thinking it would be a dream that would never come true. So it made us really, really happy.

T: The Love Live! series’ 9th anniversary project gave us a lot of chances to interact with μ's and the Nijigasaki High School Idol Club, so we had a lot of chances to speak with them. μ's gave us some very kind words.

“It’s because Aqours has been doing these concerts and other activities that we, too, could come back here.” When they said that... it was so touching. They really were watching us. It made me so happy.

K, F: (nodding)

—If I might ask, were there any other happenings with μ's?

K: We had a sort of photoshoot after Fes, right?

F: Was it after Day 1?

K: We came on stage to take a group photo, and afterwards it turned into one.

T: And then it turned into free time?

K: Right. Photo time started. It was sort of like at a theme park, when...

—Sort of like when you meet the mascot characters?

K: That’s right. (laughs) Everyone was lining up, and going “Please take a photo with me”. Well, except for Aqours.

—Except for Aqours?

K: Everyone in Aqours was a little gun-shy. μ's are pretty much goddesses... they’re like something out of a dream, so we all thought “Is it really okay for us to be this happy?”, and started acting really shifty. (laughs)

—To have them right in front of you...

K: We stiffened up. (laughs)

F: Even when they said it was okay, we still didn’t go. We turned into regular old otakus. (laughs). But I think Komiya (Arisa)-san took the initiative and went over to the other groups.

—When μ's came on stage, were you in awe?

T: We felt the mood in the arena change in an instant. It was the moment that so many people who came were waiting for; it felt just like a holy atmosphere.

K: I couldn’t stop my goosebumps. The arena started shaking. It really was.

T: It felt like it’d be alright if they just stood there doing nothing. At the end of Day 2, Aqours went after μ's, and after the audience was engulfed in orange light for “Snow halation”, we came out on our ship. We felt just like pirates.

K: When I saw that orange light reflecting off the ceiling, I thought “Ah...” And when we came out, it changed into a sea of blue, and I went “Ah...” again. It was really moving.

Eating natto rice... it’s freedom before the live starts!

—Aqours also debuted their new song “Mitaiken HORIZON” at Love Live! Fes. The trio units of CYaRon!, AZALEA, and Guilty Kiss also performed, right?.

T: Debuting a song, and especially as the first song at Fes, was pretty nerve-wracking. The “Mitaiken HORIZON” costumes are cute, and it’s really in sync with the PV, so we really wanted to kick things off with a “This is Aqours!” kind of performance. It really was an honor to be able to debut it there at Fes.

F: CYaRon! was the first subunit, and because there were a lot of groups performing at Fes, some people might not know CYaRon!. So we were really enthusiastic about giving it our all.

But when we got on stage, the entire arena was really warm and welcoming. So while we were dancing, we were thinking that “Love Live! is really amazing.” That warmth is one of the good points about the fans.

K: Some of Guilty Kiss’ songs make you want to do the “Guilty Kiss!” call, even if you don’t know us. (laughs) Even the first timers do the “Guilty Kiss!” with everyone. So I feel like everyone will remember us. Or at least their mouths will remember us from the calls. (laughs)

T, F: Just their mouths? (laughs)

K: Mouths that blow Guilty Kisses. (laughs) On the grand stage of Love Live! Fes, we were able to show the greatness of the Love Live! series as both the Aqours that worked so hard to get here and as our subunits..

—How do you spend your time backstage? Is there anything you always do before every live?

K: It’s just the huddle up, right?

T: We’re quite free, huh? And then there are people who eat a lot of natto. (laughs)

K: Natto and egg rice is the fad. Pretty much everyone is eating it, right?

T, F: Yeah, yeah.

K: On live days, you have to do that. My mouth will remember the taste.

T, F: (laughs)

T: Having the chocolate fondue from catering was so nice!

K: I was so happy! It was white chocolate, right?

T: I was like, “Do you think I can drink this chocolate?”, and Komiya Arisa-chan went, “I said the exact same thing earlier.” (laughs)

K: We’re all just talking about food. (laughs) Some things never change. But when showtime comes, we flip a switch, right?

F: That’s right. Our liveliness has an on/off switch. Speaking of which, (Osaka) Shizuku-chan (Maeda Kaori) gave us all chocolate. It was the kind with a message on the back, and she wrote messages like “Ganbaruby!” for everyone. It was really cute.

K: We wouldn’t normally do something like that, huh? (laughs)

F: Right. So it was really cool.

T: The only thing we think about is eating. (laughs)

The first years’ strong point is being able to feel “at home”. We can be ourselves around each other

—There have been a lot of subunit activities recently, but this interview is with your year group. How would you sum up the first years’ strong point in a phrase?

K: (happily:) We get along!

T: (smiling:) Yup.

F: Like a place to come home.

—A place to come home?

F: We’re all in different units, but when we’re together as first years, I really feel at home and at ease. That’s the atmosphere when I’m with everyone.

K: It’s like you’re “at home”.

F: “At home”! Yeah, that’s it.

T: It’s simple, but fun. Enjoy!

K: We can just be ourselves.

F: We can mess around and have fun. The first years have lots of very energetic songs, and the three of us all play around with each other and enjoy, so concerts are always really fun too.

T: We’re like a box of toys.

F: And I think that’s great. The second years are very serious, and the third years give off this mature and calm vibe, and we have an energetic and casual style. But of course, I really respect the other year groups.

K: And we have that underclassman vibe.

T: We’re the moodmakers, too!

—I definitely can see that. While talking to the three of you, I’ve felt strangely relaxed and at ease.

All 3: (together) That’s great! (laughs) At home.

—Tell me about some times when you’ve felt the bond between you three.

All 3: Our bond, huh?

K: We’ve never had those kinds of emotional moments. (laughs)

T, F: Yeah. (laughs)

F: But when we debuted “Mitaiken Horizon”, I somehow felt... glad that we were the first years. (doing the choreography) Like in the “Let’s give today everything we’ve got”, where the three of us form a triangle and dance with our arms out, and we look into each other's' eyes as we sing. That part is really touching. It made me think, “Ah, we’ve really grown.”

K, T: Yeah, yeah. That’s true.

K: It’s nice that the first years are always in the center for “Mitaiken Horizon”!

T: I’m glad that the three of us are always together.

F: Our singing parts are also all together, and it feels really powerful.

T: Even so, in the chorus, we’re the ones who have to bring the energy. (laughs)

F: Right, the “More!” “More!” “Yeah!” parts. (laughs)

K: Usually, the first years (when dividing the lines in songs) are in charge of the extra lines. Like the “Fu!”s. Those energetic parts are very “first year”.

—Between the three of you, who’s the mature one, or the one who can help you when you’re in a pinch?

All 3: (together) Eh... none of us are really the mature one?

F: We really feel like we’re in the same year. That’s pretty much how we are with each other. But I’m the one who gets teased, and (looking at T) she’s the teasing type.

K: (while pointing at herself) I tease and get teased. Even when the other years are ignoring us, we feel like we’re always energetic. The first years are always just going off and doing whatever. (laughs) We pretend to be clueless, but we’re always watching our surroundings while we play around... I think.

T: And the helper... do we even have times when we’re in a pinch?

K: We probably just laugh our problems away. (laughs)

T: If I had to say, we’re the type to have fun even when we’re in a pinch. They (pointing at K and F) probably feel the same way, and it puts me at ease.

—What are your tics?

F: Recently, it’s been “Right, right?”. It changes a lot, but before that it was “Yup, yup.”

T: She says it twice. (laughs)

K: All three of us do this, but I always say funny things a second time. (laughs)

T: It’s immediately after, too. We do it unconsciously.

F: What was your tic, Kanako?

T: “Water”, maybe? I really like water. (laughs) I drink about two liters a day, so I’m always looking for water. What’s your tic, Kyan (Kobayashi)?

K: Maybe when I always say “Oh no~”. I say it no matter what happens. (laughs)

I’m glad that we can be one with Yohane, Hanamaru, and Ruby

—Now, looking back on Aqours’ activities, can I ask how you feel now that five years have passed?

F: When Aqours first formed, the other eight members... I still really look up to and respect everyone... but when I compared myself to everyone, it was really clear that I had no experience. I couldn’t dance, I couldn’t sing well, and I couldn’t act.

But now, we’ve spent five years together, so I’ve come to realize my own place in Aqours, and I’m really glad that Aqours is the nine of us. If it wasn’t these eight members with me, I probably wouldn’t have felt like this.

—Five years is quite a long time.

F: Getting this close with a person for this long, as I have with Kurosawa Ruby, is the kind of thing that doesn’t happen often. But on both the outside and the inside, getting closer to her in my own way is something I’ve thought of as very important. It’s made me aware of a lot of different sides to myself, and I feel like my love for both the franchise and Ruby is stronger than anyone else’s. Of course, the other eight members probably feel the same way.

—What about you, Takatsuki-san?

T: For me, my natural voice isn’t very high, and I’m taller than Hanamaru-chan, so I don’t have much in common with her. So when we started our activities, on top of being Aqours, I was also worried about if everyone would accept me. During concerts and performances, I was focused on whether people were looking at me.... I had a period where I didn’t have much confidence in myself.

But now, no matter what I do, even if I’m just talking normally, people often say to me, “Oh, it’s Hanamaru-chan~”, so I’m really glad that I could become one with Hanamaru.

—When did that start to change?

T: Around 2nd Live. (2017′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 2nd LoveLive! HAPPY PARTY TRAIN TOUR) Up until then, I was afraid of people looking at me on stage, but since 2nd Live, it’s become just like a festival, and I’ve been able to do more and more things.

I wasn’t very good at dancing to start, but I felt myself slowly getting better, and I started to really feel the joy of Love Live! inside me.

—What about you, Kobayashi-san?

K: Aqours had a few people who were new to voice acting, and I was one of them. Acting with your voice, and living Yohane’s life alongside her was a first for me. But by asking myself, “How can I get closer to her?”, I’ve been able to grow all the way until today.

Over these five years, I’ve learned to do a lot of new things, like learning how to use a low voice, how to sing in a voice completely different from my natural voice, and lots of other things.

By facing Yohane (Yoshiko) head-on, so many new possibilities have opened up; it feels like “a me that isn’t me”. Every day, I get the chance to grow alongside her. I’m so happy that this mysterious feeling can continue. It’d be great if Yohane and I, as part of Aqours, can do more and more and more fun things together.

—Takatsuki-san was talking about how she changed around 2nd. Live. So, Furihata-san and Kobayashi-san, when did your outlook change, and you started becoming more confident?

F: For me, it was slightly after 3rd Live (2018′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 3rd LoveLive! Tour ~WONDERFUL STORIES~).

At 3rd Live, we debuted “Awaken the power”, which had 11 people. (Saint Aqours Snow’s collaboration song with 9 of Aqours and 2 of Saint Snow) I felt a lot of pressure for that song. I was desperately giving it my all, and there are a lot of painful memories... But when everyone who went to 3rd Live was cheering, “I’m glad that Kurosawa Ruby is Furihata Ai”, it was a really big moment for me.

—The voices of your fans became your strength...

F: That’s right. Up until then, I didn’t have any self-confidence. And so for 4th Live (2018′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours 4th LoveLive!~Sailing to the Sunshine~), I went in with the positive mindset of “Aqours made it to Tokyo Dome!”.

—What about you, Kobayashi-san?

K: I think it was at 2nd Live. 1st Live (2017′s Love Live! Sunshine!! Aqours First LoveLive! ~Step! ZERO to ONE~) was at Yokohama Arena, a place where I never thought I would be, even in my wildest dreams . And then 2nd Live was a tour. In my mind, I was thinking “Is this really going to be alright?”.

You have to really take care of your health, and because it’s a tour, you have to treat every venue with care and importance, while also making sure every performance is better than the last. And because we all overcame that together, and made each and every performance of the HAPPY PARTY TRAIN TOUR a unique one, I realized that my outlook had started to change.

—Thank you all for your stories. Now, the focal point of your 5th Anniversary Project is the series’ first Dome Tour, isn’t it?

F: It’s our first nine-person concert since Love Live!’s 9th anniversary’s first full-member Fes in January. Just like how the lyrics of “Fantastic Departure!” and “Aqours Pirates Desire” are, I want to bring out an even stronger Aqours.

I’ve always felt a sort of desperation, but for this tour, I feel a sort of calm from being more in sync with Kurosawa Ruby. I hope this can be a concert where we can show off what’s in store for Aqours.

T: The Dome Tour will probably have a lot of songs that we’ve never performed before. I’m excited to see the setlist, and I want to find all my favorite points in the staging, choreography, and costumes. I’m really looking forward to it!

K: When I look back, when we made it to Tokyo Dome for 4th Live, we sort of “burnt out” in a way... While we felt the relief of having reached our goal, it was also a day where we decided that we would keep on giving it our all. So this dome tour performance really feels like a dream.

Up until now, for our tours, we always just made small changes to the setlist, but this time, I’ve been thinking, “What if every performance had a different setlist?” I feel like the current Aqours could pull something like that off, so I hope everyone can have fun with both our new songs and some of the songs that are important to us, in true Aqours fashion.

What are the charm points of each of the first years?

Kobayashi Aika -> Takatsuki Kanako

It’s amazing how she can brighten up everything around her so naturally. Her smile is contagious. Her charm point is her sleeping face; it’s really cute! It’s my favorite part about her. (laughs) The two of them (Takatsuki-san and Furihata-san) have this in common, but she pays close attention to her surroundings and says the right things. Her actions give off this air of maturity, and I love how she’ll always mess around together with me. (laughs)

Kobayashi Aika -> Furihata Ai

The fact that she’s created her very own genre. Her existence itself is a charm point. (laughs) The small things she says are amusing, and she has a lot of parts that are so cute that you just want to imitate her. The three of us are really close, and we have a lot of matching things. We have matching sweatshirts, and sometimes we wear things that we find together at a sale, but pick in different colors.

Takatsuki Kanako -> Kobayashi Aika

I love that Aikyan (Kobayashi-san) is so amusing, and she brightens up the dressing room. When I first met her, she seemed really mature and stylish, and her long black hair was really beautiful; she seemed like the picture perfect city girl. But we’re the same age, and as I spent more time with her, she opened up. Recently, it feels like we’re partners-in-crime. It’s amazing how she’s more devout than anyone for Yohane, too.

Takatsuki Kanako -> Furihata Ai

Furi-san (Furihata-san) is an airhead, but in a good way. (laughs) The things she says are funny, and I like how she’s always the butt of the joke. My first impression of her was that she really had things together, and since she's the eldest of three siblings, I thought she would be like a big sister. But she unexpectedly has some weird sides to her. (laughs) But she’s also my partner-in-crime.

Furihata Ai -> Kobayashi Aika

Kobayashi Aika-chan is our trendy fashion leader, and she’s really knowledgeable. I’m a tech boomer, so she’s the first person I turn to for help with games and social media. Also, she takes really good care of her image. She’s really good at singing and dancing, and it’s amazing just how multi-faceted she is.

Furihata Ai -> Takatsuki Kanako

Takatsuki Kanako-chan’s unique personality and vocabulary are really charming. She latches onto things that most people will let slide, so you can’t just deal with her like your average person. She works really hard at being a good singer, but she never shows that. I think she taught me how to be serious with my work.

Kobayashi Aika’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Tsushima Yoshiko-chan!

(sounding troubled) I love everything about Yohane...

I love how she’s honest about the things she loves. After meeting Aqours, she’s been able to be more open about the things she loves. She’s grown to be able to share that love with so many different people. I’m glad that she met Aqours.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do?

I’ve always wanted to go to England, which is Yohane’s “World Image Girl” country. They have a “Magic Museum”, where they have a lot of pots and things that real witches used on display, so I want to go see that. I think Yohane would like it, too.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently?

Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I even play in my dreams, and in one of my dreams I built a bridge. (laughs)

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A singer and a nursery school teacher. I’ve loved singing and dancing since I was a kid. And I love taking care of little children, so I’ve always admired nursery school teachers. I went to school and got my nursery school teacher’s license. Hopefully, my second dream will come true some day.

Q5: What do you do on your days off?

Usually I stay at home. I’m either sleeping or playing games. I play so much that it’s the only thing I think about. Like, “When I go home today, I need to do X in ACNH.” (laughs)

Takatsuki Kanako’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Kunikida Hanamaru-chan!

How cute she is! (laughs) I fell in love with her from the moment I met her. She’s a shy bookworm, but she’s also super curious. And as the story progresses, she begins to feel more real. In season 2, she started becoming a gag character, but I love watching Hanamaru eat, so I was happy to see so much of it.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do?

I’m not actually a very materialistic person. So for now, I just want some inner peace. I hope the whole world can be enveloped in happiness soon.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently?

It’s actually a movie. I recently bought a projector, and I’m enjoying using it to watch movies or dramas. Ninagawa Mika’s “Followers” is really interesting.

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A singer. I started wanting to become one around 4th grade, when we sang for our class recital. I didn’t have a particular genre I wanted to sing, so I just vaguely wanted to become a star.

Q5: What do you do on your days off?

I’m an indoor-type, so I just play games or watch TV. Also, I like going on trips, so it’s a little tough right now, but I want to go to Hawaii one day.

Furihata Ai’s Q&A!

Q1: Tell us what you really love about Kurosawa Ruby-chan!

She seemed like a little sister-type from the moment I saw her, so on the flipside, how she’s very strong-willed. She might seem a little timid, but mentally, I think she’s just like her big sister (Kurosawa Dia). I love how much she loves her big sister, too. And like with school idols, I think it’s wonderful how dedicated she is to the things that she loves.

Q2: What’s something you want to have or want to do?

To spend time with all the people who support me. When I take questions on Instagram, I get a lot of messages from overseas fans, too. And of course, there are plenty of fans from Japan, too. I just want to see them soon.

Q3: Have you read any interesting books or played any interesting games recently?

Grand Maison Tokyo. I got hooked on the drama, so I read the novel, too. The scenes and food appear vividly in my mind, so it was an easy read.

Q4: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I loved drawing, so I wanted to be a mangaka, artist, or something to do with art. But I thought that doing something I like for work might make it tough, so I started wanting to become an anime seiyuu.

Q5: What do you do on your days off?

My little sister, little brother, and I all live together, but usually I’m with my sister. I’m also the kind of person who likes to go out in the rain, so I go out and end up buying something I don’t really need, and my sister usually gets mad at me. (laughs) I collect vinyl records as a hobby, so I end up buying jackets for them.

#kobayashi aika #aikyan #takatsuki kanako #kinchan #king #furihata ai #furirin #aiai #aqours #aqours 1st years #interview #livedoor

96 notes · View notes

ddanadeai · 6 years

Photo

TVXQ! smtown NYC Madison Square Garden 2011 / Explained: K-pop ep.4

TOHOSHINKI x Shibuya109 XMAS 2018 / Terrace House: Opening New Doors ep.47

TVXQ 7th Anniversary December 26 2010:

“Between both pictures, you can feel confidence but doubt. You can see happiness but sadness. Between both there are tears and smiles. Between both there's 8 years of hardwork, of returning from no point, of standing from the lowest.”

“8 years ago they looked haggard, physically & emotionally exhausted. Even Yunho’s barely making an effort to smile. But now they look so alive, radiant, & above all happy, content & at peace with everything in their lives. Which is the most important & precious thing we could wish for them.”

TVXQ! 15th Anniversary December 26 2018:

Changmin & Yunho Ginger Magazine Interview December 21, 2010 [1/2/3]

How did it feel with just the two of you standing on stage?

Yunho: On the first day at Seoul, when we stood onstage, a tremendous amount of applause and cheering welcomed us, which made me deeply understand that 'there are people who are waiting for us. I can only continue living when I stand onstage.' These thoughts started spurting out at that moment, and I knew that I could stand up again.

Changmin: I was really really happy. But, when the time for us to perform came nearer, I started getting more and more nervous to the point where people around me could easily tell. Subconsciously, I started drinking coffee (laughs). This was the first time in my life that I felt so nervous. When the staff asked ‘Will you be okay with just the two of you?’ The staff must’ve been thinking, ‘Are these two going to be okay?’ I couldn’t understand what came over me, but I suddenly felt the internal conflict within me in full force. Compared to the external surroundings, I was mainly having an internal battle of pressure. Even as we were rehearsing, we kept saying to ourselves that it would be okay, even if some people had already lost faith in us, but as soon as I got on stage, I told myself ‘It's okay, just let yourself go’. When Yunho and I silently looked each other in the eyes, we nodded simultaneously to express ‘Let’s go!’ To this day, it is still deeply engraved in my mind. I still remember very clearly the moment when Yunho and I exchanged glances and the two of us shouted ‘Go!’ together.

Yunho: We were encouraging each other backstage, saying things like 'we need to show everyone why TVXQ is so strong!' and 'this is TVXQ. We want people to see our unique charm we have in contrast to the other artists.

Changmin: During rehearsals, we kept on telling ourselves 'it's fine, we can do it!' But honestly, I didn't know if I really believed that myself. However, when I stood on that stage, I started truly believing that 'it's fine, go do it!' Of course, there is still more work to be done in order to achieve our higher goals.

You have been constantly improving over these years, so can we expect to see a new type of charisma from you two?

Yunho: Yes! Whether it's singing or dancing, Changmin will learn from the fortes that I possess, and I will also learn from his. Just like twins, we absorb things from each other that make us continually improve.

Changmin: Up until now, although we do spend time to go to classes and record songs, I'm not 100% satisfied with it. After deciding that the two of us would start afresh together, that feeling has become even more intense. But it isn't necessarily a bad thing, because being able to sing is a joy in itself, and facing the feelings of starting music anew may allow me to change my personal opinions and views on certain things.

Yunho: I think SMT's stage can prove that. Difficulties can be overcome by not giving up. Of course, messages like 'you can do it, we're waiting for you' has been encouraging us. To repay back that love from fans, we need to return to our original beginning and start anew as rookies.

Changmin: We hope to improve through projecting the joy of singing, undergoing a change in our style and doing our very best. I've always thought that my voice went pretty well with Yunho's (laughs), we'll maintain the style TVXQ has always had whilst also bringing our fans something that belongs solely to the two of us! I can genuinely feel a sense of security. Thank you for waiting for us.

Yunho on what he felt as he came down the stage of SM Town Seoul 2010

Yunho: It was very emotional. The feeling of having to just stand and watch others perform on stage, it was very painful. ‘I have to be standing there and singing too… but when will that day come?’ I thought of this a lot. And during the hiatus, TVXQ was gradually being forgotten. I once had the chance to ask a bunch of young kids, ‘Who do you like~?’ And they answered ‘Oh, I like SNSD~’ ‘Ah~ Who else?’ ‘I like Super Junior~’ ‘What about TVXQ?’ ‘Who is TVXQ?’ When they said that… ‘Ah. If we continue like this, it will be dangerous.’

With that feeling in our hearts we stood on stage at SM Town. And other singers, as well as other singers’ fans, cheered out for us.

Changmin: Tens of thousands—

Yunho: Tens of thousands, and that sound suddenly pounded strongly at my heart, along with the music. ‘Ahhh, this is it. This is the reason that I sing.’ Yes.

Keep Your Head Down / Comeback Press Conference January 12 2011

��After a two-year and 3 months hiatus from the Korean music industry, TVXQ made a triumphant return as a duo on January 12th 2011.″

TVXQ: At the time of our comeback, Lee Soo Man sent us a text saying that we were “Jackpot.” He gave us his support, asking us to do our best from now on.

Grazia Magazine November 2011

Yunho: I was really worried if there were still generous fans who were kindly waiting for us, because we couldn’t stand on stages for so long. I felt pressure, too. I wasn’t able to see anything from the stage because of the nervousness. But then I heard a loud cheer. I would have really appreciated just a fan being there for us. But I heard a cheer of ten thousands of people. I’m not a type who easily cries, but I almost cried and thought we should just pave a new path from here.

KBS Story Show Do Dream October 6 2012

Yunho: There was an 2010 SMTOWN stage that the two of us performed on. That was actually an experimental stage.

Changmin: That's why we were even more nervous and shaky. After that, Lee Soo Man, who likes to try new things, told us, “I think it will be alright if you continue as a duo.

Yunho: That day, other people also told us it was going to be alright with just the two of us.

People were talking as “What can just the 2 of you do? You cannot do anything, can you?” I was very hurt…the reason was because I thought Tohoshinki should not vanish. I thought that I should preserve the name of Tohoshinki! So, we are still keeping the name, and we will continue to keep Tohoshinki’s name in the future, too! - Yunho during Nissan Day 2 August 18 2013

”Tohoshinki Live Tour 2013 ～TIME～ also known as the Time Tour, visited all five of Japan's major concert Domes and the Nissan Stadium, the largest seated stadium in Japan. The duo were also the first international artists to headline a concert at the Nissan Stadium in Yokohama. Tohoshinki have said on their first five-Dome tour, "It's a dream come true.”

Q. TVXQ came to Japan in 2005. Did you set your goals while on the way? Back then, our staff and people at the agency said we’d have new experiences and difficulties in Japan. We were told we’d need to start anew in Japan. So we talked, the two of us, while watching crows and one of us suggested we take baby steps from the bottom. It was just a suggestion at first, but that became a reality. I’m happy we’re men who kept our promises. -Yunho [SPECIAL INTERVIEW] TVXQ ‘We Breathed and Sympathized With Our Fans’ 2013

The most memorable stage is the first ever performance as a duet with Changmin during SMTOWN. -Yunho for The Celebrity December Issue 2013

The day in 2011 when we went up on stage for the first time after becoming a duo, amidst the nervousness which was even more heightened than that when we debuted, the Yunho hyung who grasped hold of my hand, when I was just staring at the ground. And the Yunho hyung who had told me, "We can do it well". Because hyung is here, I was able to hold out till now, because hyung is here, it seems like I will be able to attempt more challenges in the future. Because we are connected by the string called "TVXQ", which will never be able to be severed. -Changmin’s Epilogue for Ti Amo Photobook 2014

TVXQ! Special Comeback Live - YouR PresenT Septemeber 30 2017

Since I am human, have times when I am exhausted, but I didn’t feel alone – it was because of you that I got more strength. In 2010 at SMTOWN, coming back to the stage after being on hiatus for so long, I had not been that scared and nervous before but you took my hand once again and I felt that it wasn’t that it was two people, but rather that we could go on a new path as it was the two of us. - Yunho’s letter to Changmin

Vogue Japan April Issue 2018

“I felt that I wanted to show the love/affection that we have for each other just as it is. It’s a long time we have worked together, that’s half of my life since we’ve walked together. The person who remembers half of my life.”— Changmin on his relationship with Yunho

LEON Magazine April Issue 2018

“Yunho told Changmin that even after 15 years, he still wants to be TVXQ.“

Q: To me, 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is...

Changmin: To me, the 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is like a decalcomania. As you know, a decalcomania is a result of the combination of two art pieces. I answered like this because TVXQ! is half of my life.

Yunho: To me, the 15th Anniversary of TVXQ! is like half of my life.

New Chapter #2: The Truth of Love - 15th Anniversary Special Album 2019

Yunho’s message to Changmin: Changmin ah!! You’ve worked so hard…Let’s grow old nicely together ㅋㅋㅋ -We’re starting again now-

#yunho #changmin #homin #tvxq #tohoshinki

154 notes · View notes

a-woman-apart · 7 years

Text

Guilt Trip to the Pity Party

Ah, here we go again. It’s approaching 8pm on a Saturday night, and I’m engaged in one of my “favorite” activities. It is the game where I mentally review everything that I’ve done wrong, and am currently doing wrong, with laser focus on bad habits that I have tried to reject, yet continue partaking in. I think of my promises to myself to budget better, eat less fast food, and just overall take better care of my life and myself. I rip into myself for not applying myself more at school, even though these self-directed lectures never seem to get me to sit down and do what is required.

Of course, there is a silver lining. I have started going to the gym. I have cut out subscription services that I am not using. I have been meeting with my classmates to go over the music, and this week I have done a lot better about practicing by myself as well. I have taken on extra hours at work and subsequently received a nice boost to my paycheck. In the past two days I have paid my rent (early) and gotten my car inspected. Also, I have continued to do well, even though my rent was raised by $80 in January.

Despite my accomplishments, though I feel guilty. I feel guilty about hastily scarfing down fast food instead of taking time to make proper meals. Granted, sometimes I do better. Sometimes even at the fast food places I choose the healthier options. Or I’ll eat frozen dinners at home instead of going out (not healthier, just cheaper). Then I read online about the health benefits of a plant-based diet and think about my slightly higher than average cholesterol, wondering vaguely about the possibility of heart disease down the road. I am overweight, but my goal isn’t to lose it necessarily, but to just look and feel better. I’ll take even a minor improvement over how things are right now.

I also feel guilty about any down time that I have, when I’m not studying, writing, or working on school projects. I seem to have it deeply imbedded into my subconscious that any time not spent being actively productive is time wasted. I know that I’m not lazy, but the little voice in my head tells me otherwise. I know objectively how important it is to have times for rest and leisure, but I think I have a hard time just being “with” my lonesome self. The solution could be to spend less time alone, but sometimes even in the presence of others my mind is preoccupied with melancholy

The good news is, that despite my guilt and self-pitying “Why can’t I just be better?” feelings, there is another voice that is rising up to combat the nagging, critical one. Sometimes I tell myself, “It’s okay to do nothing for a little while” or “Look at everything you’re doing right” and “Just breathe”. I try to remind myself not to compare myself to other people I know, whom I perceive to be doing better in life. I encourage myself to focus on the present, and if necessary, the near-future, but to forgo trying to predict years down the line.

After all, there are a lot of things that seem insurmountable when you’re looking at them, but they become achievable once you commit to action. At the library, I was shifting books over to make room for some other books on the shelves, and it seemed like the task would take forever. I wasn’t sure how much I would be able to do before it was time for me to leave, but I decided to jump into it. I began with just a handful of books at a time, lining them up neatly as I moved along. By the time it was time to leave, I was about 85% finished. It wasn’t nearly as difficult as I had anticipated. Changes must be made incrementally.

YouTuber Connor Manning once said, “You’re not going to cut down the whole tree in one chop.” I think that this is a sound piece of advice. Everything you do, from dietary changes to moving to a new place or changing careers, requires a series of steps to accomplish. It all starts though, with just being willing to take that first step. Just do a little bit first. I’m reminded that when I started at community college, I would only do one or two classes a semester, but when I changed jobs and started working on better time management, I was able to do either three-quarters or full-time for most of the other semesters. Sometimes I downplay this, but that was actually a really huge deal for me.

In Amy Cuddy’s book “Presence,” she talks about New Year’s resolutions failing primarily because the goals that people set for themselves in the new year are not sustainable. Instead of saying “I’ll run 5 miles every day”, when you aren’t used to running at all, just try saying, “I’ll run as much as I can endure 2-3 times a week.” Instead of cutting out all sugar from the get-go, try replacing some sugary treats with something low-sugar or a piece of fruit, or just choose to eat a small piece of candy instead of the whole candy bar. You aren’t going to be able to make the right choices if you are constantly feeling deprived. If total abstinence from something is necessary, make sure you have plenty of support and/or ways to affirm and motivate yourself through the process.

In the end though, you just need to take that first step. Going to the gym started with me finally walking in and signing up after two months of talking about wanting to do it. The next important thing is to be self-forgiving, because you know that you are going to mess up from time to time. Sometimes, I might go a week without going to the gym. Other times I might skip going to the grocery store and go instead to the drive-thru. It is almost guaranteed that I am going to end up procrastinating on some assignment at school and doing it at the last minute. The laundry isn’t always going to get done when I want it to, but I am going to do it. Consistency is the goal, but “to err is human.”

In Dan Ariely’s book “Predictably Irrational” he takes the reader on a journey into “behavioral economics” and explains how market forces, social norms, and our biased perspectives shape the way that we behave in the world. In the book he explains why we often choose short-term pleasure over long-term rewards, and why we tend to self-sabotage. I really enjoyed his unique perspective. He talked about how poor judgment affected him, even though he had studied so much on how to behave logically. He explained that these pitfalls are common to all of us, because our brains trick us even when we “know” better. Even so, we still have a bit of an edge when we are at least aware of some of the errors in our perception.

I’m not perfect. I will never be perfect, but that’s okay. At the peak of my most recent “pity party”, I thought about just “not trying” anymore. I thought about eating any way that I wanted to, sleeping my time away, showing up late (or not showing up at all), and just giving a lackluster effort on the job. I thought about not putting any effort into my personal relationships. Of course, that’s no way to live. That would be allowing depression to take over, and that is definitely not what I want to do.

Please note, though, that if you have depression and that’s what your life looks like right now, I am not trying to call you out. I have been there, and it is an incredibly difficult place to be, and an even more difficult place to pull yourself out of. I hope that if you are in that dark place, you have people that you can turn to for support and have at least enough strength to be able to call on them when things get too rough. A lot of the self-help and “positive thinking” movement isn’t always healthy for people who are struggling with a mental illness. Sometimes it takes more than just a willful attempt to change your attitude for you to get relief, and if you are struggling, I understand.

In my case, it is my desire that I someday be “over” this. I want to one day magically become happy and well-adjusted, even though I know that that is probably not realistic. Every day is a struggle to be the best self that I can be, and in that struggle, there will always be some sadness and disappointment. I am probably always going to have days when I look in the mirror of my mind and hate what I see there (or days when I don’t like what I see in the actual mirror). There may always be days when self-doubt and self-hatred are the overruling emotions that I feel. I just need to realize that those are just feelings, and they will pass. As a person with bipolar disorder, I am going to experience highs and lows. It just comes with the territory. I must just learn to navigate these treacherous waters carefully.

So, on this guilt trip, I don’t think I’m going to go to the pity party. Just drop me off here. In fact, just take me home. You and I won’t be traveling together again any time soon.

#guilt trip #pity party #depression #dealing with guilt #living with mental illness #schizoaffective disorder #mental illness #self improvement #presence book #Amy cuddy #Predictably Irrational #dan ariely #how to be better

1 note · View note

ask-these-dl-hoes · 7 years

Photo

Name: Kobayashi ( Last ) Chihiro ( First ) Kanji: 千尋小林 Pronunciation: Kobayashi ( k OH b ah y AH sh ee ) Chihiro ( cha hero ) Sign: Capricorn Birthday: January 1st Age: 16 Status: Alive Physical and Vital Statistics Race: Human Ethnicity: Half Japanese Half Norwegian ( Mother is Norwegian Father is Japanese ) Gender: feminine male ( A.K.A Bishounen, beautiful man, femboy, trap ) Height: 5’2 ( 157.48 cm ) Weight: 136 lbs ( 61.689 kg ) Blood Type: O Eye Color: His eye colors are a vibrant purple mixed with a pale magenta-pink Hair Color/Style: He has shoulder length hair, half black and half blonde, styled in low pigtails. Professional Status: He’s a first year and works part time at a pet store. Affiliation: currently ( begrudgingly ) living with the Sakamaki’s Personal Status Relatives: Has an older brother, His father died two years ago, Mother remarried ( to Karl Heinz ( maybe haven’t decided don’t hold me against this) step father, and a bunch of new brothers. Hobbies: learning kpop dances, making clothes, and finding only the best of memes. Favorite Food: Authentic Norwegian Meatballs / Kjøttkaker Likes: Kpop, dancing, fashion, reading, learning, exercising, sweet and savory foods, and listening to music Dislikes: Bitter foods, being looked down at, people trying to tell him that he’ll amount to nothing, thinking about college and the future, failing at certain goals. Biography Brief Biography: Chihiro has lived a relatively normal life, his father and mother owned a business company that his older brother currently works at in hopes he’ll get a higher position. Chihiro himself has no desire to take over the company, while in middle school Chihiro’s father mysteriously died his body being found in the woods, it’s still unknown how his death happened. Fast forward two years later Chihiro’s Mother is now engaged to a man named Tougo Sakamaki and he is now forced to live with his new “ brothers “ and get along with them. Appearance: Chihiro has a rather short, thin figure and is often mistaken as a girl for his appearance. He has shoulder length hair, half black and half blonde, styled in low pigtails and purple eyes with noticeably long eyelashes. When wearing his school uniform Chihiro opts to wear the sweater version with dark pants, chains attached to his belt loops and a black belt around his waist, a pair of combat black boots to go along with his outfit and a dog tag necklace that he is never seen without. For common wear Chihiro is often seen wearing sweaters some low cut some not some pastel colors some black, He’s also seen wearing chokers, tights under his shorts if he wears shorts, and ripped skinny jeans. Personality: controlled, conscientious, practical confident, self-determined, strong-willed and intuitive; unfortunately he is also self-centered, cold, unpredictable and potentially a workaholic. History: ( See Brief biography ) Relationships: Sakamaki’s Shu: Who the blonde sleeping everywhere? Don’t know too much about him.....he sure is sleepy though. Reiji: ....controlling....he also has scary eyes...I don’t hate him but I’m not fond of him... Ayato: He’s...rambunctious a bit of a nuisance at time, he’s blamed me for a few pranks he’s pulled and I ended up getting in trouble even though I didn’t do it. Laito: I was told not to go near him, he seems a little dangerous, I haven’t had many conversations with him and haven’t been left alone in a room with him yet. Kanato: he throws a lot of tantrums it’s annoying, though don’t tell him I said that, him and his teddy are rather weird and kind of scary, he looks like one of those weird horror movie children. Subaru: Loud but oddly enough the one that’s the least annoying since he doesn’t bother me if I don’t bother him. Mother: we were close when I was younger, I still love her but she seems busy recently. I’m a little surprised she moved on from fathers death so quickly. Older Brother: He works too much, more than me when I’m actually interested on working on something, he’s been distant but I don’t hate him for that. Tougo Sakamaki: my mother’s fiancé? He’s...quiet I don’t know too much about him didn’t even know my mother was dating him till she told me they were going out. Abilities: Runs fast, Speaks Japanese and Norwegian, can cook certain Norwegian dishes but only a small amount, isn’t too good at cooking otherwise, enjoys dancing but isn’t good at singing. Trivia: * He’s right handed * His appearance is all around eye catching * Isn’t too good at cleaning this why his room is a little messy * Has always wanted a pet but was never allowed to have one since his mother was allergic to dogs and his father was allergic to cats * He’s gay * Kuudere ™ * wears a size 8 in shoes * puts on weight easily and is careful with what he eats * often goes on diets some including not eating certain meals * has a small eating disorder * has a habit of messing with his hair

#my art #sketch #digital art #oc #Diabolik Lovers #diaboliklovers

4 notes · View notes

andrewdburton · 5 years

Text

What has the best savings account in 2020?

Another year, another search for the best savings account! That's right: It was almost exactly a year ago today that I was hunting for an online savings account so I polled you, the Get Rich Slowly readers.

Last year, Ally Bank was the clear winner. More GRS readers had their money there than anywhere else. But folks also liked Discover Bank, Synchrony Bank, and several others.

This year, it's my girlfriend who is trying to find a better bank. Kim is perfectly happy with Ally — in fact, she's a vocal crusader for Ally, which I find amusing — but at the same time, she's curious if she can find a better interest rate somewhere else.

Seeking the Best Savings Account

After our family financial meeting on Thanksgiving, we agreed to restructure some of how Kim and I handle money together. Since we bought our country cottage in 2017, she's been paying me $500 per month as a way of vesting into the house.

After discussing our goals (both individual and shared), we decided it makes sense for her to stop paying me “rent” so that she can route that money toward other goals instead. Plus, I've refunded the $13,750 she'd already given me. She wants to save all of this money toward the purchase of a second house, a vacation home and/or investment property. To that end, she'd like to find the best online savings account.

What does “best online savings account” mean to Kim? Well, interest rate is important, obviously, but it's not the only thing. She also values ease of use and customer service.

“The only reason I'm looking outside of Ally is because I've seen better interest rates elsewhere,” she told me when I asked her for more info. “I'm looking for alternatives because I want the highest yield. CDs would be okay but their interest rates are no better right now.”

While a high interest rate is important, it's not the only factor in her search. “Honestly, I've considered USAA as well because they're so easy to work with and their customer service is awesome,” Kim says. “I've had twenty years of good experience with them and I trust them. I'm trying to weigh out trust, interest rates, and risk.”

When she left for work this morning, she said, “Can you do some research for me?”

Can I, a personal-finance writer, do some research about savings account interest rates for my girlfriend? Why, of course! I'd be happy to.

Current Top Savings Accounts

The company that used to own this website — with whom I still have a business relationship — has a handy tool that allows folks to look at a lot of today's top online savings accounts. Here are a few of their current top offers:

I'm going to point Kim to this list so that she can do some of her own research. But I've also done some digging on my own to come up with a list of free savings accounts that she might want to consider.

Based on your responses to this question last year, and based on Kim's own preferences, here are some of the best online savings accounts for her situation. (These interest rates are accurate as of 21 January 2020. They're subject to change.)

USAA offers two savings accounts. Its standard savings account currently has interest rates ranging from 0.09% to 0.15%, depending on balance. That's not great. Its “performance first” savings account actually offers lower rates for balances under $10,000 (whuh?), but gradually increases the interest if you stash away a lot of money. If you have over one million in savings, for instance, your rate is 1.06%. But do I need to tell you that it's foolish to have a million dollars in a savings account yielding just over one percent? Because it is. As much as Kim loves USAA, this isn't a good option.

Ally Bank, which is by far the preferred online savings account of GRS readers, currently offers an interest rate of 1.60%. As I say, this is where Kim currently keeps her savings, and it remains a solid option. It's not the highest interest rate, but it's good enough and she knows she likes the company.

Capital One, which used to be ING Direct (the former darling of the personal-finance world), has a performance savings account is currently yielding 1.70%, which is good. Plus, we still have accounts with them. (Note: If you're an old ING Direct or Capital One 360 customer, check your interest rate. For some reason, they've “grandfathered” old ING accounts into a 0.60% interest rate, which makes me cranky. If this has happened to you, you'll want to move to the new, higher-interest savings account.)

HSBC currently has a great interest rate — 2.00%! — and no minimum balance. It was an ad for this account that prompted Kim to start her search. The downsides? This is an online-only savings account. Plus, GRS readers don't like HSBC. They've had poor experiences with the company. Does that mean Kim shouldn't put her money here? No. But it does make us a little leery.

Discover offers an online savings account with a 1.70% APY. No minimums to open, no minimum balance, and no fees. This was the second choice among GRS readers in 2019 and looks like a solid choice.

Synchrony currently has a 1.70% APY and no fees. It also offers an ATM card, which isn't common with online savings accounts.

Last year, GRS readers also liked online savings accounts from American Express (currently 1.70%), Marcus by Goldman Sachs (1.70% APY), and Alliant Credit Union (1.65% APY). For more options, check out this list of current rates from Doctor of Credit.

The Impact of Compound Interest

Ultimately, Kim will have to make this decision on her own. I'll send her a link to this article and let her decide what she wants to do. I don't think there are any bad options here. (Well, I don't think she should put her savings in USAA, even though they're a great company. The interest rate is too low.)

Out of curiosity, I decided to use the compound interest calculator from the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to see just how much of an impact interest rate would have on Kim's savings plans.

Assuming she starts with $13,750 and makes $500 monthly contributions, then:

At a 0.01% interest rate (common at large banks right now), she'd have $43,764.25 after five years — only $14.25 more than if she put the money in a piggy bank. After ten years, she'd have $73,793.52, or $43.52 more than if she did nothing.

At a 0.10% interest rate (similar to USAA), Kim would have $43,892.79 after five years or $74,186.66 after ten years. Better than the big banks, but not by much.

At a 1.60% interest rate (similar to Ally), she could have $46,105.41 after five years or $81,153.74 after ten years. Ah, that's more like it.

At a 1.70% interest rate (common among many online savings accounts right now), her nest egg would grow to $46,257.75 after five years or $81,647.37 after a decade. That's a $500 difference from a 1.60% APY over the course of ten years.

At a 2.00% intertest rate (similar to HSBC), Kim might have $46,718.51 after five years or $83,151.32 after ten years. That's nearly $10,000 more than if she were to stash her money at Bank of America or U.S. Bank!

Which online savings account will Kim choose? Time will tell. In the meantime, let us know if you've made any changes to where you keep your money since the last time we asked you a year ago.

In my research, I also came across the Consumers Credit Union rewards checking account, which just might be the best deal out there…if you're able to jump through some hoops. If.

For balances up to $10,000, you can earn 3.09% if you accept electronic documents, make at least 12 debit-card purchases totaling more than $100 per month, and receive more than $500 electronically each month. If you spend more than $500 each month on a Consumers Credit Union credit card, that rate climbs to 4.09%. And if you spend more than $1000 per month on that credit card, your APY is 5.09%.

If you don't meet these requirements, you get 0.01%. And you only get that high rate on your first $10,000 in savings. Anything over that earns less — much less (from 0.10% to 0.20%).

This is a very conditional account, but if you meet those conditions, it's amazing. It doesn't work for Kim's purposes though.

The post What has the best savings account in 2020? appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/best-savings-account/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

fossadeileonixv · 5 years

Text

FDL Season Preiew 2019-2020

Let’s blow this Popsicle stand!

Hola amigos! Mike, Av, and I have pieced together a little season previewy thing here much like we did last year where we answer only the most pertinent questions relating to Milan for the upcoming season. Feel free to answer these questions on your own below. Y’all ready? I’m ready. Let’s go.

What was the most important off-season move?

MIKE: I'm hoping by the end of the season the answer to that question will be Bennacer. Biglia, being signed at 32, was always going to be a placeholder for whomever management decided would be the long term replacement at that spot. And just as Biglia was our most important player 2 years ago when he signed, I think Bennacer needs to be our biggest signing and most important player this year. I'm not saying he's the best signing right now, but he sure as hell better be by the end of the year.

AVIA: It's got to be the new coach. The optimist in me thinks/hopes/prays that we will see Milan playing some genuinely good football via GMP. It's been a nightmare to witness season after season of Milan play football without any shape, soul or commitment, not to detract from the times were we have showed flashes of inspiration but we just generally have looked clueless since Dont-Boo-Me-Dorf was installed as coach. I have no idea how much of a hand GMP had in the new acquisitions but the new attacking additions combining with Paq could suddenly have a player like PTek9 firing on all cylinders. GMP, I'm praying, will have us playing direct & attacking football with a squad that knows their roles and stays compact when not in possession....is that too much to ask?

TR: Agreeing with Av, it is without question, Giampaolo. This club came within an inch of the Champions League with the capable, but affable Rino Gattuso. There were a lot of fantastic signings this summer, with Bennacer and Theo expected to make an immediate impact, but it may take some time for the payoff on the youngsters. Giampaolo's presence on the touch though? We've already felt that. I can already tell he might frustrate us with stubbornness, but there's not doubt in my mind that this was the most important change from last year.

What was a mistake that we may end up paying for this summer?

MIKE: The same as my biggest concern for the last 10 years now... that no matter who is running the team, who is managing the team or who plays on the team..... we still have a god damn MISSFIELD. Our entire midfield, save Jack, has been signed over the last 27 months. There's literally no stink left from the previous regime. yet by the end of last year it was still in limbo. It's like a scab that just won't heal. Every summer it heals up and by Christmas, EVERY DAMN CHRISTMAS it's itching and bleeding again.

AVIA: The smart money would be on not shipping Suso but as you know I'm neither smart nor for social norms .....This will no doubt illicit groans but I still think we will kick ourselves for not snapping up Conte. Yeah, he can be a fussy prick with Ladri blood in him but so what? I'm genuinely worried that he will kick start the rebirth of the merda..... blagh! I think he could even lead the merda to a scudetto.....yeah I said it....come at me! TR: My heart tells me Patrick, whispers it constantly in fact, but my head says retaining Silva. At the beginning of the summer I would have bet a significant amount of my sneaker collection that one of either Samu, Silva, or Suso would have been sold. Well, a few offers and a failed negotiation with Monaco later, we're here, with all three. Suso looks like he can contribute as a trequartista, but the other two haven't thrilled. Samu was never going to fetch much because he's a bad football player by almost every measure, but Silva still has an upside and could've raised some funds. I don't think there was a ton of interest, but absolutely would've cut losses and sold for much less than we bought him for. I'm a little curious to see if he finds footing under Giampaolo but am pretty pessimistic.

Who's someone we didn't offload that actually may work out for us?

MIKE: That's easy. It's our 2 best players, Romagnoli and Donnarumma. Last year we gave up the least amount of goals as a team since we had guys named Nesta and Silva still roaming around back there. That's pretty amazing considering Musacchio was the other CB and our fullbacks were.... meh. These guys are the rock of the team. Without them we are shit. With them there is hope. Luke Skywalker versus the Death Star level hope.

AVIA: Maybe Suso or Hakan but I'm looking at Donna to be honest, This time last year I was accusing him of possibly selling us short once the season started but he went on to be our MVP for long stretches. The kid is World Class caliber with a long future so hopefully arming him with a genuinely solid CB pairing will start making us serious contenders for Europe and IN Europe! He quietly went about his business last year in the hope of moving on from the previous years circus and it worked.

TR: Ah! You were expecting me to say the Kan-Man can pan out and reward his fans man, but I'm gonna go dark horse here and say Conti. He won't displace Calabria but will impress when the latter misses six weeks in February and March with an ankle injury suffered in a Coppa Italia tie. Conti will step in seamlessly leading to admiration from most of us here at FDL, with a few outliers calling for him to start. I think he finds a way to contribute in Giampy's setup, and provides a couple of assists at pivotal moments.

Where will we see most improvement?

MIKE: Hmmmm. That's a tough one. How about that Suso does indeed become the trequartista most of you are hoping he would be?

Nooooooooo.

The surprise for many will be that he sucks at it. He's too slow of foot and of mind, can't connect to the attack. He doesn't occupy the role past November 1st and is sold by January 31st.

AVIA: Our backline.......I'm hoping that Duarte is our new Silva tbh. There is simply no way that we can take ourselves seriously if we aint solid at the back and although we weren't the worst team defensively last season, the loss of Zapata and apparent implosion of Mussachio has me worried for the season going forward so here's to hoping the new guy ain’t just hype! Plus I'm going with the notion that Hernandez > RRod.

TR: Touchline. See Giampaolo above.

Where may we see a decline?

MIKE: My biggest disappointment this year is probably gonna be whoever fills the SS role, especially if we don't sign anyone specifically to do it. Besides Jack, I don't see a single player on the team cut out to fill the spot. Castillejo? No chance. That 96 pound spaghetti noodle couldn't stand up to a stiff breeze. Silva? GTFO. Calhanoglu? Suso? who else are we gonna try up there?

AVIA: I genuinely think we will be better across the board, no, seriously. Yeah I loved Rino but there's only so much you can achieve by threatening your players with broken legs. Although GMP aint the calibre of coach I've been bleating on about wanting to see installed at Milan he is still far better at technical coaching than Rino 7 days of the week. There's also the fact that we have removed the millstone of the Europa league from around our necks so we can finally just concentrate on securing a CL berth. The squad in theory has also gone up level with the new additions so its all good right??

TR: Defense, slightly. I'm not saying the backline falls apart or even really drops in quality. However, Giampaolo's squads have never maintained a great defensive record, often finishing middle of the back to the lower half of the league. His teams play advanced on both sides of the ball and I will take the good with the bad, but expect a slightly higher amount of goals conceded from last year.

What scares you most going into the season?

AVIA: Conte's Inter...We have a new coach with a new formation & several new key players, it's always a danger and could end badly. I'd like to see us take things nice and slowly towards the X-Mas break and build up a head of steam come the new year.

TR: Snakes.

Besides that, I'm worried we didn't add that quality second striker and Piatek suffers because of it. The fact we spent €120m and Samu has been paired up with Pia in the preseason isn't a great sign. Leāo isn't going to March right in and when he does get nods on the first team, I think it is going to inconsistent. It isn't a shortcoming we can't overcome as we have a lot of goalscoring quality behind these two, but I do worry it may hold us back some.

What does the top six look like at the end of the year?

MIKE: Juve, Inter, Milan, Napoli, Lazio, Roma

AVIA: Inter, Juve, Napoli, Milan, Roma & Atalanta

TR: Juve, Napoli, Inter, Milan, Lazio, Roma

Tommorow bitches!

0 notes

samuelfields · 6 years

Text

Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management

At any given time, every investor must always decide three things:

1) How to invest their new cash flow

2) How to invest their existing cash

3) How to reposition their existing investments if at all

As long as enough money is coming in to cover your expenses, life is fairly good. As our cash hoard grows, there’s also less financial stress because you can more easily cover unanticipated emergencies like a furlough.

In general, having 6 – 12 months of living expenses in cash or cash equivalents is good enough for the average person to sleep soundly.

There might come a point, however, when you will have excess cash. Perhaps you were undisciplined in your monthly dollar cost averaging strategy or maybe you got a bigger windfall than anticipated.

Whatever the case may be, your financial anxiety will be replaced with the fear of missing out on potentially bigger gains in risk assets like stocks and real estate. Given your peers are all getting rich, you will want to follow suit.

If enough greed kicks in, you will end up taking on more risk than you can comfortably withstand, and sometimes bad things will happen. Your financial stress returns once again. Hence, one benefit of following Financial SEER.

No matter how much money you have or how much you make, you will always have to work on managing your financial stress. After all, the more money you have, the more you have to lose! When you are broke, you’ve only got upside.

Money is mental. Psychology is why during market sell-offs, there will be headlines about stocks re-testing Great Depression lows. And during bull runs, there will be headlines about how the sky is the limit and you just can’t lose.

I didn’t do much right financially in 2018 except for continuing to aggressively save. But I did make one move with my existing savings that helped reduce financial stress.

Managing Stress Through Savings

Back in early 2018, I was getting nervous about the stock market. We’d seen an almost 10% pullback in February that jolted me awake. Ever since I left my day job in 2012, I’d been regularly plowing the majority of my cash flow into the stock market and San Francisco real estate market.

After all, my #1 goal is to earn enough passive income so neither my wife or I have to go back to work. With the likelihood of private school expenses coming up in 2022, we have a goal of earning at least $250,000 a year in passive income to stay jobless.

When the correction hit in February 2018, I realized my risk exposure was too high for my comfort. As a result, I slowly started reducing my stock allocation from 70% to 52% as stocks recovered into the summer.

But when you reduce your stock exposure during a rising market, you begin to question your decision because you start getting greedy. You start imagining whether you’re missing out on more gains by being too conservative. I was tempted to take on more risk again.

But when I got an e-mail from CIT Bank that they had raised their money market rate to 1.85% and their 12-month CD rate to 2.25%, I beat back my greed. Just a year earlier, money market rates averaged well below 1%. I still remember only receiving a 0.1% money market rate circa 2015.

1.85% for a money market rate and 2.25% for a 12-month CD rate seemed pretty good. As a result, I decided to lock in a 2.25% guaranteed return for 12 months on July 16, 2018, instead of investing the money in the S&P 500 or the forever tempting FAANG stocks, which I was already heavily overweight, given I live in San Francisco.

As soon as I bought the 12-month CD, I felt a sense of relief. I remember thinking to myself, “Ah hah! Nobody can take away my money now!” I felt my stress melt away as I could now focus on more enjoyable things in life.

Although I’m only earning about ~$190 a month in interest income, it feels wonderful to know my money is secure. Because I generate excess cash flow every month, I constantly have to figure out where to invest the money in order to at least keep up with inflation.

Locking up money in long-term private investments or illiquid investments like real estate enables me to stop worrying so much about how to reinvest my cash flow.

Stay Financially Disciplined

As an investor, you must not only come up with some reasonable earnings and valuation forecasts, you must also take action based on your forecasts.

My analysis said that 2,800 on the S&P 500 was close to fully valued. We were almost back to the peak seen in January and I told myself if we got past 2,800, I would dial down risk, and that’s what I did in July.

The S&P 500 continued to rise until September when it reached 2,929 as the bull market raged on.

Was I fighting the urge to chase the momentum? Of course. But I still had 52% of my public investment portfolio in stocks, so I was still benefitting, although not to the fullest.

It was also important for me to remain disciplined and look at my overall risk exposure and net worth. I never want to have more than 30% of my net worth in equities. However, I was bumping around that upper limit due to the reinvestment of part of my house sale proceeds in equities.

If I had invested $100,000 in the S&P 500 on July 16, 2018, it would have been worth roughly $104,600 by September 30, 2018. But on December 17, 2018, it would have declined in value to just $86,000.

At the end of the year, the $100,000 would have rebounded to $90,600, but still down a hefty 9.4% since July 16, 2018.

Meanwhile, since opening the 12-month CD, it has thus far earned $1,038 in interest for a return of 1.038%. In other words, the difference between this 2.25% CD and the S&P 500 was roughly 10.438%, or $10,438 from July through Dec 21, 2018. Not bad.

Therefore, the next time you scoff at a money market or CD account rate, don’t. Not only can a money market or CD account drastically outperform risk assets, but they also have the added benefit of giving you incredible peace of mind during a downturn.

All I was thinking during the 4Q2018 meltdown was why I didn’t put more money into a CD or money market account. If I had invested my entire House Sale Fund, it would have earned $3,750 a month, or $45,000 a year with absolutely zero stress.

During 4Q2018, there were many mornings where I’d naturally awaken by 4am because my mind couldn’t rest knowing that another meltdown might possibly be right around the corner. That wasn’t very healthy and a sign that I still had to much at risk.

Time To Lock In Another Win

After such a long bull run, my goal all year is to use ~70% of my cash flow to lock in wins and use the remaining 30% of my cash flow to invest in risk assets when opportunities arise.

I’m excited I recently got another message from CIT Bank saying they have raised their Savings Builder account rate to 2.45% from 1.85%. That’s right. Their money market account, not their CD account, is paying 2.45%. No 12-month lockup is required.

2.45% is solid because it is almost as high as the 10-year treasury bond yield currently 2.65%. But with the 10-year treasury bond, you’ve got to hold it for 10 years to guarantee yourself a 2.65% annual return. During this time, you might lose or gain principal.

Earning 2.45% isn’t going to make you rich. But earning 2.45% is better than earning a negative 6.4% in the S&P 500 in 2018 (-4.8% with dividends).

There’s a good chance we could see a 10%+ rebound in the S&P 500 in 2019. But I also wouldn’t be surprised one bit if the S&P 500 declined by 10% in 2019 either.

The higher money market rate is a blessing because I’m cashed up looking for a nicer house this year. Given I don’t know when I’ll find the next house, it’s nice to have the flexibility of withdrawing my cash at any time, while also earning a high interest rate.

Take advantage of the Federal Reserve’s rate hikes.

I’m sure there are plenty of other banks, especially online banks, that are now providing higher rates this year. You’ve just got to ask around. There’s nothing wrong with protecting your wealth after making so much since 2009.

As for my financial stress this year, it’s way down from 4Q2018 because not only is my cash earning a much higher return, the stock market has rebounded by over 11% since December 24, 2018. Just like that, it’s back to good times and I plan to keep it that way.

My overall public investment portfolio is up a modest 4% for the year and I’m seriously considering locking in gains and reinvesting all the proceeds in a 2.45% savings account to end the year up a guaranteed~6.3%.

To feel no investment stress for the rest of the year would be amazing!

After all, my theme for 2019 is: live the good life. All I want is restful sleep every night so I have the energy to happily spend time with my family and write.

Doubling my net worth every 14 years with a modest 5% annual growth target is good enough for me.

Related: How Much Savings You Should Have Accumulated By Age

Readers, are you taking advantage of higher savings rates? What type of money decisions did you make in 2018 that saved you from the stock market meltdown? What type of money decisions will you make this year to ensure you grow your wealth?

The post Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Finance https://www.financialsamurai.com/building-savings-war-chest-is-about-stress-management/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

pineforphantompain · 3 years

Text

My 2021 in Dramas

A little late but here is my Asian drama wrap-up. I didn’t watch much, but it was a pretty good year anyway. I finished most of what I started and nothing I watched was really bad.

Last year I started with a film section, but this time I only watched one movie:

Bungee Jumping of Their Own (2001) Rating 6.5/10

Currently Watching 2021 dramas:

Now We Are Breaking Up 4/16 eps (yes I have fallen very behind)

School 2021 6/16 eps

Completed 2021

(Starting with those carried over from 2020)

True Beauty 6/16 eps previously watched. All my love to Kang Soojin. Rating: 7.5/10

Cheat on Me, If You Can 2/16 eps previously watched. This was something. Whether a good something or a bad something I don’t even know. Rating: 7/10

Mine 16/16 eps watched. Female centric dark melos! LBY and KSH were fantastic. Something was missing though that kept me from loving it and I’m not sure what exactly. Rating: 8.0/10

Law School 16/16 eps. I liked it well enough. I enjoy an ensemble cast, and legal/crime plots combined with more slice of life elements. Good, but fell short of great. Also when thinking of what I watched this year I consistently forgot about it. Rating: 8.5/10

Nevertheless, 10/10 eps. It was fine, enjoyable to watch and had one fantastic side couple. Han So Hee pretty. Didn’t like the end. Rating: 7.5/10

The Devil Judge 16/16 eps. I can’t deny it was good, but I didn’t love it like most people seemed to. Good cast. And Sun Ah was gaslight gatekeep girl boss excellence. Rating: 8/10

Other things watched this year:

The Musical (2011) 2/15 eps. Sometimes you’re just struck by the desire to watch early 2010s SBS dramas. Started but then didn’t have much time to watch and got sidetracked.

Nail Shop Paris (rewatch) 1/10 eps. I really wanted to rewatch but then I didn’t have time and was getting behind on airing (higher priority) dramas. The mood has sort of passed, but I’ll probably watch this mess again sometime soon anyway. Rating: 4.5/10 (I love it but it is Bad).

Completed from “on-hold” backlog:

White Christmas (2011) From when I was doing well finishing partially watched shows the end of last year. I finished this early this year, but then failed to continue the trend. Rating: 8/10

Hope to watch in 2022

Rather than a long list of all the titles I plan to watch (and probably won’t) I’m making a more reasonable list of goals this year.

F4 Thai

(Rewatch) Judge vs Judge - because I’m a normal well adjusted person I’m still very attached to this mediocre drama. (Update from when I started this post: I am watching it and I’m just as obsessed as I was the first time).

Watch to completion three 2022 dramas (I actually started Snowdrop in January, so that should mean two others).

Watch at least 3 movies (other than for school).

Finish at least one on-hold drama.

In addition at least something of these:

Watch a classic sageuk

Finish watching White Lies - this is a daily drama from like 2008-9 that I was loving, but it disappeared from where I was watching years ago and I could not for the life of me find it anywhere until I thought to search for it again recently and found that it had been uploaded elsewhere only a few months previously. So now I’m eager to pick it back up, but it’s very long so idk when I’ll actually watch it.

Watch any PSH drama I haven’t finished (Sisyphus, MotA, Heartstrings).

Watch something with Kim Haesook (that is not a rewatch).

#drama year in review #yes it’s late but who says I can’t post a month into the next year #in my défense I wrote most of it out like halfway through the month lol #2021 drama recap #asian dramas #tv #kdrama #ignore me

8 notes · View notes

mcjoelcain · 6 years

Text

Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management

At any given time, every investor must always decide three things:

1) How to invest their new cash flow

2) How to invest their existing cash

3) How to reposition their existing investments if at all

In general, having 6 – 12 months of living expenses in cash or cash equivalents is good enough for the average person to sleep soundly.

There might come a point, however, when you will have excess cash. Perhaps you were undisciplined in your monthly dollar cost averaging strategy or maybe you got a bigger windfall than anticipated.

I didn’t do much right financially in 2018 except for continuing to aggressively save. But I did make one move with my existing savings that helped reduce financial stress.

Managing Stress Through Savings

Locking up money in long-term private investments or illiquid investments like real estate enables me to stop worrying so much about how to reinvest my cash flow.

Stay Financially Disciplined

As an investor, you must not only come up with some reasonable earnings and valuation forecasts, you must also take action based on your forecasts.

The S&P 500 continued to rise until September when it reached 2,929 as the bull market raged on.

Was I fighting the urge to chase the momentum? Of course. But I still had 52% of my public investment portfolio in stocks, so I was still benefitting, although not to the fullest.

If I had invested $100,000 in the S&P 500 on July 16, 2018, it would have been worth roughly $104,600 by September 30, 2018. But on December 17, 2018, it would have declined in value to just $86,000.

At the end of the year, the $100,000 would have rebounded to $90,600, but still down a hefty 9.4% since July 16, 2018.

Time To Lock In Another Win

After such a long bull run, my goal all year is to use ~70% of my cash flow to lock in wins and use the remaining 30% of my cash flow to invest in risk assets when opportunities arise.

Earning 2.45% isn’t going to make you rich. But earning 2.45% is better than earning a negative 6.4% in the S&P 500 in 2018 (-4.8% with dividends).

There’s a good chance we could see a 10%+ rebound in the S&P 500 in 2019. But I also wouldn’t be surprised one bit if the S&P 500 declined by 10% in 2019 either.

Take advantage of the Federal Reserve’s rate hikes.

To feel no investment stress for the rest of the year would be amazing!

After all, my theme for 2019 is: live the good life. All I want is restful sleep every night so I have the energy to happily spend time with my family and write.

Doubling my net worth every 14 years with a modest 5% annual growth target is good enough for me.

Related: How Much Savings You Should Have Accumulated By Age

The post Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from Money https://www.financialsamurai.com/building-savings-war-chest-is-about-stress-management/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

ronaldmrashid · 6 years

Text

Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management

At any given time, every investor must always decide three things:

1) How to invest their new cash flow

2) How to invest their existing cash

3) How to reposition their existing investments if at all

In general, having 6 – 12 months of living expenses in cash or cash equivalents is good enough for the average person to sleep soundly.

There might come a point, however, when you will have excess cash. Perhaps you were undisciplined in your monthly dollar cost averaging strategy or maybe you got a bigger windfall than anticipated.

I didn’t do much right financially in 2018 except for continuing to aggressively save. But I did make one move with my existing savings that helped reduce financial stress.

Managing Stress Through Savings

Locking up money in long-term private investments or illiquid investments like real estate enables me to stop worrying so much about how to reinvest my cash flow.

Stay Financially Disciplined

As an investor, you must not only come up with some reasonable earnings and valuation forecasts, you must also take action based on your forecasts.

The S&P 500 continued to rise until September when it reached 2,929 as the bull market raged on.

Was I fighting the urge to chase the momentum? Of course. But I still had 52% of my public investment portfolio in stocks, so I was still benefitting, although not to the fullest.

If I had invested $100,000 in the S&P 500 on July 16, 2018, it would have been worth roughly $104,600 by September 30, 2018. But on December 17, 2018, it would have declined in value to just $86,000.

At the end of the year, the $100,000 would have rebounded to $90,600, but still down a hefty 9.4% since July 16, 2018.

Time To Lock In Another Win

After such a long bull run, my goal all year is to use ~70% of my cash flow to lock in wins and use the remaining 30% of my cash flow to invest in risk assets when opportunities arise.

Earning 2.45% isn’t going to make you rich. But earning 2.45% is better than earning a negative 6.4% in the S&P 500 in 2018 (-4.8% with dividends).

There’s a good chance we could see a 10%+ rebound in the S&P 500 in 2019. But I also wouldn’t be surprised one bit if the S&P 500 declined by 10% in 2019 either.

Take advantage of the Federal Reserve’s rate hikes.

To feel no investment stress for the rest of the year would be amazing!

After all, my theme for 2019 is: live the good life. All I want is restful sleep every night so I have the energy to happily spend time with my family and write.

Doubling my net worth every 14 years with a modest 5% annual growth target is good enough for me.

Related: How Much Savings You Should Have Accumulated By Age

The post Cash Management Is Really All About Stress Management appeared first on Financial Samurai.

from https://www.financialsamurai.com/building-savings-war-chest-is-about-stress-management/

#Financial Samurai

0 notes

thedivinefish · 6 years

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for having child-like joy!

TGIWednesday News

Ah, it's the day after Christmas and we're in that sweet spot now between Christmas and the New Year... where the holiday frenzy slows down, folks are taking time off of work, and we begin reflecting on the past year and looking ahead toward what changes we want to make, and dreaming about what's ahead. What I can tell you is that sometimes you need that extra help to get yourself aligned and flowing so that your life can unfold in even more miraculous ways! And I've created these clearing Audio MP3s as a tool for you to work on your particular challenges so you can listen to on your own anytime to keep you running forward in life. So, one final reminder that it's the last week of Audio MP3’s BOGO (Buy one, Get one FREE) Every time we run a sale like this, I get the same emails ... on January 1st it will be, “Hey Jimmy, can I still get BOGO on Audio MP3’s?” uh that’s a negative Ghost Rider, you've had 31 days to join the party :) So, just sayin', you better get in on the deal now before it's gone! And I see that some of you are REALLY having fun and have placed multiple orders - Yes, you can do that - but only when putting max of 2 audios in the cart at a time. Here's an interesting question that came in that may help in your decision making:

Q) "Hi Jimmy, I was wondering if your MyBeliefworks for Facilitating Pet & Animal Healing MP3/PDF will heal/remove my dog's cysts. He has 2 large ones on his paws called interdigital cysts. Vet said to leave it, but they're bigger now and one punctured. Thank you, Happy Holidays!" - Susie

A) I would get a second opinion and get them removed. But that’s just me. It is possible that the audio could shrink them...it took years to produce and borders on magic. - Jimmy

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more.

Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Last Days for BOGO MP3s! (save $57)

This week I joined my my good friend Marla Martenson, Author, Mystical Matchmaker & Energy Healer for another holiday video clearing. This is a quick 5 mins and it will help you release any guilt you feel during the holidays (for over-spending, over-eating etc.) Watch it here Winter Solstice started this past Friday and it was the first day of Winter. My mother Granny Ruth used to say, “I got cabin fever!” So I really want you to get out when you can and do yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, and for me it’s H20 water/Aerobics Class. Even if you can walk around the block, shovel snow or go to YouTube and watch and participate in any form of movement - you’re going to be ahead of the game! And speaking of Granny Ruth, many of you are so sweet to ask about her and know that TODAY is her 90th Birthday and here she is yesterday enjoying her Milano cookies on Christmas. We love you, and appreciate you and know that you can reach me 7 days a week 365 days a year! [email protected] I remain the Way-Shower for you! Love to all on this, the last TGIW of 2018!!

TGIWednesday Download

~ HAVING CHILD-LIKE JOY ~ Child-like Joy flows in, around and through me now. I am ready, willing and able to exude love and joy any and all days of the year. I believe, think, know and feel that I am open to receiving, deserving and worthy of giving and receiving joy here an now. I know when, where, how and why to give and receive joy at the highest level and so it is. I am asking for this in all languages and throughout all time lines

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

DECEMBER 26th - "Today I will bask in the glow of prayer knowing that it can change anything and everything. I will give humble thanks within myself and for all that I have and can contribute to other. At least for today. I will be content."

Live Shows and Replays

SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS RADIO Join me and host Charlotte Spicer. Wednesday JANUARY 2nd at 3:30pm EST / 12:30pm PST Call in for a Free Reading! (347)-934-0751 Listen Here Online JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW Tuesdays at 9pm ET/ 6pm PT Call in LIVE (713) 955-0594

Imagine getting FREE intuitive messages and healings LIVE! Well, it happens every week on my radio show with some of the best psychic readers & intuitive healers on the planet! Tune in weekly for the FREE live show or replay and YOU will receive changes & healings just by listening! To listen online, click the date links below. No show yesterday on Christmas JANUARY GUESTS Listen Jan. 8th Special Guest LINDA KAYE, Pink Chick Psychic LIVE READINGS www.pinkchickpsychic.com Listen Jan. 15th Special Guest TIFFANY POWERS Live readings with Tiffany and Healings with Jimmy https://tiffanypowershealing.com Listen Jan. 22nd Special Guest KELLY M BALLARD Medium, Intuitive Consultant and Coach https://www.kellymballard.com Listen Jan. 29th Special Guest REV. DEBBIE DIENSTBIER Our resident trans medium, communicating with your loved one’s on the other side! Facebook page

Browse the interview archives here.

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

We've made some changes to the Kodawari schedule. Please check the updated dates below. After January, we're back to WEDNESDAY only appointments. Call Kodawari's front desk directly to schedule (813) 773-4017 and pay at the concierge desk... 15 minutes 33$ or 30 minutes 65$. UPCOMING SCHEDULE 10-2pm: Wednesday: | Jan. 16th, 23rd, 30th Friday: Dec. 28th | Jan 4th, 11th

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

Sessions available now - Monday February 11th @ Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa from 10am to 5pm at my good friend Charla Tempone’s office in Tampa. Please call their office directly at (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes 33$ – 30-minutes 65$

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

"Thank you! I think we are rolling along. M is acting more caring and J seems happy and confident much less anxiety in general , so kudos to you my friend! I cancelled a few big things I had going on today to take a personal day today to just freakin' re-center myself and get some things organized. Will def take some tome to relax and meditate. Will keep in touch with updates and requests, love your downloads!" - E.L. / Florida

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

"I love your prayer service! I reached my financial goal in 2 weeks, my daughter is over the moon with her new official boyfriend and my son is loving college and successfully traveled home with no issues. My husband is a work in progress; your addiction audio will make a nice Christmas gift for him!" - C.T. / Florida I will dial into you daily in the wee hours and make certain that you are a CLEAR YES, UNCLEAR to NO and RUNNING FORWARD before you start your day. You will send me a list of the members of your immediate household, and yes even pets, and I will add them to my daily prayers. I will arise daily before you are even awake to start my prayers and also run my intelligent computer software 24/7 deleting the negative and increasing the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of outcomes for you and the family. Each comes with a one-time email analysis print out via the intelligent healing software that I use on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes and I get emails like this one each and every week!

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

My Liquid Fish® Mastery Certification

Level I is open for ANYONE TO JOIN at anytime!

"I have found this to be a great modality. I have for the first time got my husband and kids fishing daily. I've learned Emotion Code, Body Code, dowsing, 3 levels of Yuen and some other bits and bobs I've played with. I like how easy this is to take on the road. I really appreciate your time and brilliance. Thank you." - D.T. / Kansas

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes "The Tackle Box" & "Spiritual Healing Techniques" ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack 727.678.0557 EST | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2018 All Rights Reserved

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger | Digital Marketing Specialist | SMBeConnected Solutions Digital Marketing Solutions & Support for Conscious Entrepreneurs www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

divinefishingtips · 6 years

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for having child-like joy!

TGIWednesday News

A) I would get a second opinion and get them removed. But that’s just me. It is possible that the audio could shrink them...it took years to produce and borders on magic. - Jimmy

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more.

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Last Days for BOGO MP3s! (save $57)

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

Live Shows and Replays

Browse the interview archives here.

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

My Liquid Fish® Mastery Certification

Level I is open for ANYONE TO JOIN at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

advancedthetapractitioner · 6 years

Text

TGIWednesday and a download for having child-like joy!

TGIWednesday News

A) I would get a second opinion and get them removed. But that’s just me. It is possible that the audio could shrink them...it took years to produce and borders on magic. - Jimmy

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of ALL clearing MP3s available. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) & click on the link to read more.

Increasing Intuition Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Sex Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss

Last Days for BOGO MP3s! (save $57)

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

Live Shows and Replays

Browse the interview archives here.

Live In-Person Appearances

LIVE AT KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS TAMPA

3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa (813) 773-4017 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH CENTER TAMPA

39 A DAVIS BLVD Tampa, FL http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

From the Fish Box

Receive 24/7 Daily Prayers From Jimmy

Choose 7 days @$33 Choose 14 days @$66 Choose 30 days @$99

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

My Liquid Fish® Mastery Certification

Level I is open for ANYONE TO JOIN at anytime!

LEARN MORE HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

0 notes

foursproutlove-blog · 7 years

Text

Does Sexist Culture Contribute To Codependency In Women?

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/love/does-sexist-culture-contribute-to-codependency-in-women/

Does Sexist Culture Contribute To Codependency In Women?

When young girls are growing up digesting messages from television, magazines, and the Internet that it’s OK to put someone else ahead of their own care in the name of devotion and loyalty, that’s when it becomes a problem.

It is with both pride and skepticism that I can announce I left my third toxic relationship this past January.

By toxic, I mean that this person had very serious emotional trauma and issues that he was unwilling to work through in healthy ways, and as a result, all of that fell back on me to carry. I was his savior, his light, his grip, and he told me as much.

But he was emotionally abusive in the similar manipulative, possessive and obsessive ways that the two previous to him had been, and I couldn’t ignore those signs any longer than I already had. I had certainly already stayed way longer than I should have, in the hopes that I could fix him.

I do feel for him, but there’s only so much I could take. Unfortunately for me, that “so much” is a much larger amount of bull sh*t than many of my friends are willing to take, so I have often wondered what’s wrong with me. Yet, on the flip side — and fortunately for me — that amount is still a smaller amount than many, many women all over the world are willing to take.

Which leads me to what was the most baffling part for me and others like me, I’m sure — that after everything he did put me through, I still regretted not being able to “save” him, even though I know that is not my job to do. In fact, that is an impossible job for someone in my shoes. I am not a therapist. I’m in my 20s and barely know yet how to handle my own mental health issues, let alone someone else’s. And I’ve done the exact same thing three times now. Why do I keep deciding this is my duty?

After this last one, my mom asked me if I’ve considered looking into codependent therapy. Codependent therapy? What the heck is that? I’m not codependent — in fact, I have always considered myself to be fairly independent. I was always the one in my relationships pushing for more time to ourselves, and respect for each other’s boundaries, personal lives and space.

It’s my empathy that keeps me around, I thought. Not dependency! How could this be my fault? How dare my mother.

But codependency, I learned later, is not about being able to spend nights in your bed alone or go out with your friends on a Friday and dance to “Miss Independent.” Codependency is a concept that is now being viewed similarly to a legitimate disorder or addiction, and it involves being so hooked on the idea of helping someone or fixing someone that you completely lose sight of your own goals and aspirations in the process. Your driving force in life becomes entirely about someone else.

Codependents derive their self-worth and meaning in life not simply from the idea of “having a partner,” but rather, from the idea of helping one. This is often a problem that partners of alcoholics and drug addicts face, but it can also present itself simply in the form of not being able to leave a damaged and toxic partner for fear of literally losing one’s own sense of purpose.

Once I began looking into this concept, I started ticking boxes off right away. That’s me, I thought. To a T. And I also found that the numbers point to this being an issue more largely faced by females. So why is that?

Alongside the major, grotesque and tangible injustices we’re calling out — Hollywood, we’re looking at you — there is definitely a related insidious and sinister sexism about societal norms and, specifically, the expectation of women to conform to potentially damaging behavior within relationships. When looking at heterosexual relationships particularly, we see a dangerous manifestation of these subtleties, which present themselves in phenomena like codependency.

The majority of women, whether those around them intended this or not, have been brought up to believe it is a woman’s duty to someday look after a home and support a partner, in some way or another. Even in our increasingly progressive society, we are still bombarded on the daily with imagery of women as mothers, as wives, as homemakers.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain at home and raise a family. But when young girls are growing up digesting messages from television, magazines, and the Internet that it’s OK to put someone else ahead of their own care in the name of devotion and loyalty, that’s when it becomes a problem.

There’s a popular trope developing in the social media world about the “wifey material” girl who stays home on the weekends.

This is exactly the wrong message we should be sending to young women — that just because their partners are insecure, they should be coddling that insecurity by ignoring other aspects of their own lives. If you thought the whole woman-stays-inside-like-a-good-little-housewife trope was gone with the progressivism of 2018, think again.

If your partner wants you to stay in every weekend and never wants you to see your friends or create a life outside of them, your partner is hiding you. They are intimidated, most likely, by the idea that someone else might tell you what you already know deep down: that your partner is not healthy for you.

For months, my ex told me he didn’t want to go out because of his mental health. And, yes, I would understand if that had truly been the case. But what started to ring as weird was that he had no problem going out with his friends when I truly had something I had to do instead of spending time with him. So why couldn’t we go out together?

Ah, yes, that would involve other people looking at me and interacting with me — oh, the horror!

I don’t believe that I was staying in because I wanted to be “wifey goals” or whatever the hell. But the truth is that many of us who were brought up traditionally may be internalizing gender role expectations within romantic relationships without even realizing it.

Additionally, there is a tendency in a codependent to compensate for the dissatisfaction they’re feeling by giving even more of oneself in the hopes that it will fix things. A codependent partner enables an addict or otherwise self-destructive person by allowing them to avoid dealing with the unpleasant consequences of their personal problems.

It’s not a crazy idea, then, to suggest that men actually benefit from this higher affinity toward codependency that women seem to have. Perhaps on an individual level, not all of these men are laughing maniacally as they consciously manipulate their partners into codependence. However, do the patriarchal roots behind our media keep spinning just the right messages— like “wifey goals” — in order to subtly contribute to the larger picture that still works to hold women down, even today?

I’m not blaming the patriarchy for my choice to stay in abusive relationships. I accept that there is probably some aspect of my personality that I need to examine in order to weed out why I keep falling back into the same situation. But what helps us make our choices? It’s not a wild leap or string of assumptions to link a sexist culture to an abundance of codependency problems in women. And in the wake of #MeToo, it’s important for us to keep acknowledging both the subtle and not-so-subtle societal flaws that continue to put women at a disadvantage.

Kate Harveston enjoys writing about social justice and policy change. When she’s not writing, she enjoys hiking the mountains of Pennsylvania to find inspiration. If you like her work, feel free to visit her at onlyslightlybiased.com.