#ahem… anyways sappiness aside

[obey-me-male-and-gn-mcs]

Ahrjwkfjsjfbejfbr hi it me again. I was wonderin if maybe I could request somethin again? 👉👈 If not that's 100% okay!! If so, may I have the brothers' reaction to finding out male mc is in a secret relationship with Diavolo? Ily thank youu ^.^

Why Hello again >:D!!! Sorry this took me a while I just got back from my Florida trip so it did take me a while to finish this 👁👁💧Of course I can do that for ya! I love you too 😌✨

Male Reader

Mostly SFW just on Mammon’s there’s a bit of NSFW

Brother’s finding out Male MC is in a secret relationship with Diavolo

Lucifer

His first thought was.

“Well... this is interesting”

He found out by Diavolo himself.

Lucifer is his right hand man after all.

So of course Diavolo sat him down and told him about your secret relationship.

He was really really shocked because the both of you did so well at hiding it.

But nonetheless he was happy for the two of you.

If Diavolo chose to only tell him but keep the secret from everyone else he’ll make sure it said a secret.

Anyone had the slightest idea no you don’t baby because Lucifer’s putting a curse on you to forget.

Bonus!!! When you all do tell the entirety of Devildom and some people say it’s improper for the future king to marry another man...

Yeah they went missing 😳💧

But hey look on the bright side, cerberus is happy with his new play toys 😌

Mammon

Mammon found out in a very... interesting way...

He barged into you’re room because he kept hearing soft groans.

He expected to walk in on the Human hurt

Instead he walked in on... the nasty between you too...

Mammon passed out right then and there.

Que the screaming and panicking from you thinking he was dead.

But no he was passed out so nothing to worry about .

Once he finally got up and the both of you explained your secret relationship he was a bit jealous.

Mammon did like you after all so it took him a bit to comprehend everything but he eventually came around and was happy for you two.

He would also keep your secret and tell NO ONE.

No matter what he would not crack.

So yay Mammon isn’t telling no one and you can take your time getting ready to tell the others >:)

Leviathan

He found out because one day you were in his room playing a game and you got a text from Diavolo.

Before hand you had went to the bathroom and left your phone.

But you had Diavolo as some sappy couple name on your phone.

He was confused like really confused.

So when you came back he jsut asked straight up but red as a tomato.

“w-w-w-who’s t-t-that?” Pointing to your phone which still had the message.

You then explained to him that it was Diavolo and you had been secretly dating.

He was kinda bummed out and secretly saying in his head.

‘Oh course he wouldn’t want to be with an yucky otaku like me when he could be with a prince like Diavolo’

Since he is the Avatar Of Envy it took him a while to process and accept it but he eventually comes around don’t worry.

If anyone has the slightest idea of your relationship I am so sorry to tell you but...

He just stays in his room and begs that the person’s thoughts will go away.

He just knows he can’t cover for you two it’s to much pressure.

So he just holes away in his room hoping with everything that the person’s hunch will go away (was gonna say praying but 😀💧).

Satan

Pfft

PFFTTTTT

HAHAHAHA

Did you REALLY think that you can keep a relationship HIDDEN from the defective of the house?

Please.

By the time you were already gonna tell him he had it all figured out.

You know that chart with the red strings and pictures, writings and more in them?

This man for real pulled that out under his bed and proudly presented it to you when he told you.

“You’ve been in a secret relationship with Diavolo? Heh *pulls out chart* I’ve been knowing~”

It had pictures of you two on a date, pictures of you two hugging and even pictures of you two kissing!?!?!??

You called him a stalker and he denied it and just said he’s a “detective”.

As for keeping your relationship a secret he’s most likely the best one hiding it for you two.

He can smooth talk his way out of any situation so absolutely no one has a clue.

In all, 10/10 keeping it a secret till you two are ready.

Asmodeus

Also been knowing.

But not from stalking you two like a special angry demon no no no.

I like the headcanon that Asmo can feel the lust from someone.

So he put two and two together when Diavolo started coming over and felt strong lust from a demon and human coming from your room.

“You can hide your love from me but you lost certainly can’t hide your lust from me sweetheart~”

Once he finds out he is also saddened that he can’t be in a relationship with you hit that still doesn’t stop him from being flirty.

But you nor Diavolo are complaining because it actually helps the both of you keep your secret relationship.

So yay Asmo is helping without even know.

(Apologies for Asmo’s being so short I have a hard time writing for him 🙇)

Beelzebub

Hm? You’re in a secret relationship with Diavolo? Alright.”

That was his literally reaction.

You told him when you took him out to eat with of course Diavolo’s credit card.

Diavolo knew before hand so he just gave you it.

What can I say dating the prince of Devildom has its perks 🤭✨

aHEM ANYWAYS GETTING OFF TOPIC.

Beel was happy for the two of you.

He pushed his feelings aside and was genuinely happy for the two of you.

Now he realized he get free food because you’re dating the prince of Devildom.

“✨👄✨ amazing”

As for keeping your relationship a secret boom he’s already on it.

He waits till the two of you are ready to tell everyone.

10000/10 reaction and support from Beel 🥰❤️✨

Belphegor

“Hah? You’re dating him? Really? How dare you disturb my nap to tell me that 😒”

Yeah since Belpie isn’t to fond of Diavolo he isn’t really all to excited about it.

Not to mention you woke him up from his nap just to tell him.

But if he made you happy fine he’ll deal with it.

Just because you’re dating Diavolo doesn’t mean you get to skip out of cuddle hours 🙄.

Yeah he’ll let some things go like some of your attention time but cuddle hours are a no >:(.

Diavolo has to deal with it smh.

If anyone tries to find out oh boy!

That laziness will snap out of him so quick and he’ll torture and make them forget with a curse to ensure that NO ONE finds out.

Best part is you won’t even know because he’s stealthy.

Cow go stabby stabby if anyone dares to find out 🐄🔪

Masterlist rules

[twistedtummies2]

Mia Corazón (Commission)

Another commission I got via my FA page. This is from the same person who commissioned “Tick Tock” and “A Grim Dinner.” It features his OC based on Tick Tock the Crocodile, Tock Crockwork...BUT, more importantly, it also acts as an introduction to his newest OC, Caelyum De Macabre - a character based on Davy Jones (with hints of Tia Dalma) from “Pirates of the Caribbean.”  And it’s NOT A KINK STORY. HERESY, I KNOW. I had a LOT of fun with this one; my only major regret is that I couldn’t make it longer than it already is. XD Also, just for the sake of making sure people know, I did not make up the lyrics to the song featured here. They’re actually fan-made lyrics for Davy Jones’ theme from the movies, originally created by a YouTube artist called Fiajela. I highly recommend looking up the song - it’s been covered by her and Man on the Internet, and they even made a duet version with the two stitched together. Anyway...hopefully you all enjoy. :)

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Valentine’s Day had come to Night Raven College. As you and Grim walked through the halls of the dark castle, you couldn’t help but chuckle at the decorations: pink paper hearts and streamers of white and crimson were everywhere, making it feel almost as if Heartslabyul had somehow managed to take over the entire palatial academy. Grim frowned up at you, trotting at your side, trident tail swishing as he went. “Nya? What’s so funny, Minion?” he demanded to know. “Nothing, nothing,” you responded with a shake of your head. “It’s just…everything looks so different.” Grim sniffed snootily, crinkling his nose at a poster of two young lovers embracing. “I don’t like it,” he remarked. “It’s all…mushy. It just doesn’t feel right for a School of Villains to be so…nya, what’s a good word…?” “Sentimental? Sappy? Saccharine?” “Gross,” was the word Grim chose, sticking out his tongue and shuddering like a small boy afraid of getting the dreaded cooties. You snorted with laughter. “Well, bring it up to the Headmaster,” you smirked, stuffing your hands in your pockets as you went. “I’d rather not,” Grim grumped. “Besides, we all know Crowley would just ramble on about it, or say he’ll get things done and never do…how come he’s Headmaster, anyway? He doesn’t do anything!” “Your guess is as good as mine,” you shrugged. “All I know is the only home I have is thanks to him, as is the only job. I’d like to keep both, thank you.” Grim shrugged back with an accepting sort of rumble as the two of you ascended the spiral staircase that led up to the Headmaster’s Office. Crowley had sent a call that morning; classes were dismissed for the day, so the university was a little quieter than usual: many of the students were off visiting family or loved ones, and those that were hanging around the campus still were largely engaged in…ahem…PRIVATE affairs. You, of course, could not leave; at least for now, Night Raven was your home, and as you were currently not in a relationship, Valentine’s Day wasn’t much different than any other day. Not that you minded much; it was still nice, in your mind, to see others happy and relaxed, and a holiday was a holiday, at any rate…though it seemed even St. Valentine’s holiday would not be saving you from helping clean up whatever mess Crowley needed dealt with this time. As you passed an image of two small, fluffy kittens holding a heart, a random thought came to your head: “Grim?” “Nya?” “Have you ever wanted to be in love?” “Not really,” the cat-like monster said. “Love is all…icky.” You frowned. “Icky?” you repeated. “All the kissing and hugging and…bleh!” Grim shuddered again, then went on: “Besides, it seems awfully difficult; makes you humans and even beast-men all crazy. I’ve got too much to deal with as it is, thank you very much! Nope. The World’s Greatest Mage won’t ever let love make him all soppy.” Grim stuck out his fluffy chest proudly at this, sticking his nose in the air. You smirked, and paused, reaching down to scratch behind his ears. He froze up…then purred and nuzzled into your touch. “Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…o-okay…maybe I love some things,” he admitted.

“Good kitty,” you teased, and snickered as Grim growled at you and half-heartedly swiped at your hand with a paw. You retracted it and the two of you kept moving. “Come on. The sooner we deal with Crowley, the faster we can get to our own stuff.” Grim nodded, as the pair of you drew nearer to Crowley’s office. You knocked on the door and waited for the sing-song call of “Come in!” before entering. Inside the office, things looked the same as ever, floating portraits of the Great Seven and all…aside from a vase of roses, plus a couple of heart-shaped ornaments on the desk, as well as the fact the purple-and-green curtains had been exchanged for solid red velvet drapes. Dire Crowley himself was seated behind his desk, sorting through paperwork, dressed in his usual attire. His feathery cloak rustled as he lifted his top-hatted head, and smiled at both yourself and Grim as you shut the door to the office behind you, his yellow eyes sparkling behind his Plague-Doctor-esque Venetian mask. “Ahhh! Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm! And the Little Monster!” he greeted warmly, rising and waving his hands, bidding you closer as he stepped around his desk. “Come, come, you’re right on time!” “On time for what, dare we ask?” Grim meowed. “Aren’t you celebrating Valentine’s Day, too, Headmaster?” you asked, politely. “Later,” Crowley smirked, winking and tapping the side of his mask’s long nose. “I’ll be entertaining a cute little fairy sorceress from the Land of Oz later tonight.” He let out a dreamy sigh, placing a hand to his heart. “Ahhh, Miss Upland…one day, you will be mine…” You and Grim gave each other a look, shrugged, then turned back to Crowley. “What’s the problem, then?” you asked, knowing better than to think this was a social call. By now, Crowley had firmly established yourself and Grim as the chief problem solvers of the Academy, so it stood to reason he had a mission for your both. “Oh! Yes, well,” Crowley muttered, and cleared his throat, adjusting and straightening his stance before going on in a business-like way: “As I’m sure you’ll both know, tonight there’s a special performance, directed by our own Vil Schoenheit, for the holiday.” “Nya? Isn’t it that play about the Sea Witch?” Grim checked, tilting his head. “Correct,” nodded the Headmaster. “And the Little Mermaid she assisted. We have a special guest coming to see the show tonight…” He reached into the folds of his cloak and pulled out a small photograph, handing it over to you. You knelt down to get closer to Grim’s level, and showed him the photo as you both looked it over: the picture was a portrait of a dark-skinned mermaid, with hair black as ebony and scales of red and gold. Her eyes were brown and soft and warm as milk chocolate, and a silver locket in the shape of a heart was clasped about her throat. “Oooh…she’s pretty!” Grim smiled. “Very,” you agreed with a smile of your own. “She,” the Headmaster spoke up, “Is Young Lady Mia Corazón. Her family is one of the richest in the Coral Sea.” “Which is why you invited her,” you guessed, trying not to sound as bored as you were. To your surprise, Crowley answered, “I didn’t invite her! She wanted to see the show on her own…but there is one difficulty: her family insists that she be accompanied by at least two bodyguards at all times. Much like the Al-Asims, they’ve had…ISSUES in the past, and if their daughter is going to be on land for a spell, her parents want to make sure she’s adequately protected.” “That’s fair enough,” you supposed. “Let me guess,” sighed Grim, crossing his arms, “You want us to be the bodyguards then?” “Well, I suppose I COULD hire professionals,” Crowley murmured, scratching his chin in thought. “But they can cost a lot…I’d probably end up having to cut your pay just to-” “Forget it,” you grumbled, while Grim growled and slapped a paw to his forehead. “We’ll do it. But something is worrying me, if you don’t mind my bringing it up.” “What’s that?” “Are you sure WE’RE the right ones for this job?” you pressed, then before Crowley could speak up, you went on quickly: “We’ll do it, like I said, but…are you certain we should?” “How do you mean?” the Headmaster questioned, tilting his head. “Well, we’re not from the Coral Sea,” you explained. “Wouldn’t someone from that area be a better choice? Perhaps Azul could loan out the Leech Twins for a day!” Both Grim and Crowley looked at you as if you had grown a second skull. “…Right,” you sighed, quickly catching on. “Azul. ‘Loan’ us the Leech Twins. And us NOT expect things to go HORRIBLY wrong, one way or another. Yeah, that was a dumb suggestion, sorry.” Crowley chuckled and shook his head. “I have every confidence in you,” he said, with a wide smile. “You’ve solved so many problems in the past! And it’s only for tonight! What could possibly go wrong?” “Well, great, now something will DEFINITELY become a problem,” Grim grumbled. “Look, it’s not that I’m ungrateful,” you pressed on, “Or even that I’ve got a whole lot else to do, just…I’m worried because I don’t have magic. And Grim is…well…Grim.” “Hey!” Grim yapped indignantly. “I could roast any bad guy’s butt if they tried to get to Miss Coronation!” “Corazón,” corrected the Headmaster. “Whatever,” shrugged Grim. Crowley rolled his eyes, then turned his head upward. “You do raise a good point though, Prefect,” he conceded. “I didn’t think of that…at the very least, you two will need some help.” You were just about to agree…when suddenly, you heard Grim shiver. Both you and Crowley looked down as the cat-like demon quivered and hugged himself, the fire in his ears flickering. “Are you okay?” you asked, worriedly. “Y-Yeah,” Grim answered with a slight chattering of his teeth. “But…does anybody else feel like it suddenly got colder in here?” Now that Grim mentioned it, you DID suddenly feel a light chill crawl up and down your back…and it wasn’t too long afterward that the source of the cold made its presence known. With an authoritative BANG, the Headmaster’s office door burst open, causing both yourselves and Crowley to yelp and jump in alarm. You turned around fast, and gulped nervously as you perceived the imposing figure of Chief Jehan – the school’s head of security, garbed as ever in his military style cap and long, black trenchcoat. “Headmaster,” the darkly dressed security chief intoned, bowing his head respectfully to Dire Crowley, “Forgive this intrusion.” “Oh, it’s alright, Claude,” Crowley sighed out, then frowned. “Whatever is the matter?” “I apprehended this rule-breaking scallywag in the school cafeteria,” Jehan stated, indicating a second figure. “Ow! OW! H-Hey, let go of me, you old…! I’ll bite your legs off, you hear me?!” You and Grim were surprised to see the short, thick-hipped, green haired figure struggling in the icy grip of Claude Jehan, trying to pull away as his ear was all but being yanked from the side of his cranium. “Tock?” the two of you chorused. Tock Crockwork just snarled as Jehan glared at him. He tried to return the glower, but it came off more akin to a wounded animal trying to look tough than…well…looking tough. Crowley’s frown deepened, and he stepped past you and Grim – uttering a quiet, “One moment please” – before approaching the chief and the unruly Octavinelle student. “What is the meaning of this?” the Headmaster boomed. The Security Chief pushed Tock forward, releasing his ear. Tock stumbled a bit and caught himself, massaing his sore lobe. “This young ruffian,” Jehan explained, “Started a brawl with Mr. Bucchi over the last Deluxe Menchi Katsu Sandwich. As the latter student was merely defending himself, I felt his punishment should be more lenient; both have been banned from the cafeteria for the rest of the week…but as the one who started the whole affair…” He trailed off as Tock growled rather pathetically, looking down at the floor sullenly. Crowley scowled and hummed thoughtfully, clearly trying to determine a fitting punishment. Your eyes, as well as Grim’s, widened, and you looked to each other. “Grim,” you whispered, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” “I think so, Minion, but a show about a math teacher who’s also a criminal mastermind? Who’d want to watch that?” You facepalmed. “What are you two whispering about?” Jehan asked, suspiciously, as Tock and Crowley both looked to you as well. “I think I know a way to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak,” you suggested. “You mean, a way to deal with Mr. Crockwork while also dealing with your dilemna?” Crowley guessed. “Exactly.” “Dilemna? What dilemna?” Tock asked. You grinned.

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“Thanks for sticking up for me, snack meat,” Tock groused, petulantly pouting as he walked by your side. “You’re the one who decided to pick a fight with the hyena,” you shrugged. “Honestly, I think I did you a favor.” “Nya…my Minion has a point,” Grim nodded. “Do you really think things would have been better if Crowley had decided to punish you himself?” “Or worse,” you put in, grimly, “Leave you to Chief Jehan?” All three of you shuddered, and Grim even crossed himself at the mention of the security chief. “Fine, I guess that��s fair,” Tock grumbled. “But I don’t like having to protect a fish filet from harm. I eat fish!” “Well, you won’t be eating Mia Corazón,” you sniffed. “Alright…guess I’ll just have to eat YOU instead,” smirked Tock, and licked his sharp teeth. Grim mewed and hid behind your leg. You blushed. “…We’ll worry about that later,” you grumbled, making Crockwork snicker with a wicked smile. “For now, let’s focus on getting you some actual lunch.” “You ARE an actual lunch,” snorted Tock. “I am not on the menu!” you snapped, flushed with embarrassment as Tock gave you a knowing grin. “Well…not till your work is done,” he teased, winking deviously, then smirking down at Grim. “Maybe I’ll have the little hairball for an appetizer, too…” Grim hissed at being referred to as a “hairball,” but said nothing. “Do you always have to be so antagonistic?” you sighed. “It’s what keeps getting you into trouble, you know.” Tock just shrugged carelessly, hips swaying as he walked side by side with you. “So, where are we heading?” he asked. “Can’t go to the cafeteria, and the Mostro Lounge is way too expensive…” “The Mystery Shop,” you answered. “I’m sure Sam’s got something in stock for us all to snack on before we head to the beach to pick up our special guest.” “Nya! Between my fiery awesomeness, my Minion’s brains, and lizard-breath’s strength, we’ll be the best bodyguards ever!” declared Grim. “Call me ‘lizard breath’ again,” Tock warned, “And we’ll be back down to two people, fuzz-face.” “Fuzz-face?!” Grim snapped. “How’d you like to BURN off a few of those calories you’re so proud of, hah?!” “Girls, girls, you’re both pretty,” you droned. The pair glared at you, then each other…then growled in unison as they stopped. “Thank you,” you sighed with relief. “Now, let’s be on our best behavior: I don’t want Sam’s Friends to give us a hard time…” As you spoke, your little trio reached the entrance to Mr. S’s Mystery Shop, and the three of you walked inside. Aside from a simple banner reading “Happy Valentine’s Day!” over the door, the shop was completely as it usually was…at least on the outside. To be fair, once you all entered the building, the store within seemed its usual self, too; no heart-shaped décor here, only the usual assortment of voodoo accessories. The strange part came when you not only realized Sam was nowhere to be seen…but you all also noticed who was tending to the store. Or rather, what. “Crabs?” all three of you gasped in surprise. Sure enough, crawling all over the Mystery Shop was an assortment of strange white sand crabs. Their shells seemed to have been made from smooth, ivory-colored stone…and as if the presence of the pale decapods wasn’t bizarre enough, their activities certainly would have gotten some unusual reactions. A few of the crabs were straightening out and sorting through items on the shelves, making sure everything was in top-notch condition. One crab was holding a miniature broom, while the other held a dustpan, the pair of them sweeping the floor. Still another crab was changing a lightbulb, while two more – clicking their claws encouragingly – were supervising. A bunch of crabs carrying a spray bottle and a wash cloth scuttled past you all, near your feet. Yourself and Croc stepped back, but Grim – with typical feline curiosity – leaned down and actually sniffed at one of the crustaceans… “ME-YOWCH!” he yelped, and jumped back, mewling and covering his muzzle after one of the crabs pinched his nose with their pincer. The crab seemed to strut away importantly afterward. “Heh…guess the crab cake bit back, huh?” teased Tock. Grim just growled and massaged his stinging snout. “This is new,” you muttered. “Where’d all these little guys come from?” “Cruel and cold, like winds on the sea. Will you ever return to me? Hear my voice sing with the tide: My Love Will Never Die…” The melodious voice soon sang into your ears, and you and your companions looked towards the source. In a corner of the shop, a lone figure was quietly mopping, and singing the lonely, haunting sea shanty you had heard. The figure was a young and slender man, dressed in a tan-colored jacket with ruffle-ended sleeves, and a brown hip-skirt. His legs were covered by dark beige trousers, while plain brown boots were on his feet. A fishnet scarf was loosely slung about his shoulders, almost like a shawl, and an orange muscle shirt festooned his abdomen. His hair was a curious pink hue, and done up in dreadlocks. “Ahem!” you coughed, catching the young man’s attention. He froze and looked up to you, blinking his brown eyes. For a moment, you noticed there was a look of pain and something…hollow in his face, as if something inside of him was missing and he longed to get it back. An overwhelming feeling of loneliness and sorrow seemed to wash over you…but it disappeared in an instant when the youth smiled. “Oh! Ahoy there! Didn’t hear you come in,” he greeted, bowing his head respectfully as he put the mop in its bucket and then walked towards you and your group. “Can I help you?” “Well, you can start by telling us who you are, and what happened to Sam,” Grim frowned. The young man chuckled, flipping his fishnet scarf over one shoulder. “Sam is taking the day off for the holiday,” he explained, then slowly added, “I don’t…make merry on Valentine’s Day, so I volunteered to keep the shop open and do some cleaning.” “Well, that answers one question,” Tock snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and lookin the taller youth up and down. “Mind answering the other?” “Oh! Right, right,” the young fellow chuckled, and cleared his throat before giving a mock-salute and answering: “Name’s Caelyum. Caelyum De Macabre. I’m Sam’s new assistant.” “Pleased to meet you,” you smiled, and shook Caelyum’s hand, and tilted your head. “Say…can I call you Cael for short?” The young man’s smile flickered, and he paused before quietly beseeching, “I’d…rather you didn’t, thank you.” “No problem, I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly. “Not at all, not at all,” the young man chuckled, and straightened his stance, recovering quickly. “So! What can I do for you, me hearties? Supplies, clothes?” “Food,” growled Tock. “I’m STARVING.” Caelyum chuckled and jabbed a thumb to one part of the shop. “You’ll find everything you need in that direction.” Tock nodded, and sashayed in the direction De Macabre had indicated. Caelyum smiled back at you and Grim in the meantime. “You’re the Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm, right?” he guessed. “That’s right,” you nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, then,” Caelyum smiled. “Sam’s told me all about you: he says you’re his favorite customer.” “He says that about everyone,” Grim snorted. Caelyum chuckled and knelt down. He extended a hand carefully. Grim sniffed it carefully…then smiled and allowed the shopkeeper’s assistant to pet him softly. “You have a beautiful singing voice,” you couldn’t help but comment. Caelyum looked up in surprise…then blushed a bit. “Oh, uh…you heard a little of that, did you?” he chuckled with embarrassment. “Nya! It sounded really sad, but…it was also really nice,” Grim mewed. “Thanks,” Caelyum said as he stood back up to his full height. “What song was that?” you asked, curiously. “I’ve never heard it before. Is it from your homeland?” Caelyum’s smile fell, and he looked askance. “Not exactly,” he murmured, then informed you aloud, in a matter-of-fact way: “It’s a song from the Coral Sea. I come from the Jubilee Port, near the Swamplands: same place as Sam. A…friend taught the song to me.” Catching the hitch in his voice, you smiled sympathetically. “It sounds like you two were close.” “We were,” Caelyum said softly. “Very.” “Nya…what happened?” Grim asked. Caelyum paused…then shrugged. “They left,” was all he said. Sensing the sensitive subject, you decided to drop the matter; Grim caught on and did the same. “How long have you been working for Sam? I haven’t seen you around before.” “Not long,” shrugged Caelyum, seemingly grateful the subject had changed. “He and I have some similar interests, and when I joined Night Raven, I applied for work.” “Oh, so you’re a first year?” “Yep.” “What house? Octavinelle?” you guessed, wondering why Tock wouldn’t have recognized the youth if so. “Scarabia, actually and weirdly enough,” laughed Caelyum, as if the placement struck him as some sort of very funny joke…he paused then leaned in and whispered: “Um…is it just me, or is the dorm head of that house a little…you know…how would you say it…?” “Too pure and innocent for this cruel, unholy world?” “…Yeah, that.” “Yes. Yes, he very much is.” The two of you were interrupted by the sound of Tock snarling in the food aisles. You all turned to see him trying to pry a bag of chips out of the pincers of one of the crabs, who looked very insulted to be interrupted in his work. “Hey! Can somebody make this crab cake let go?!” he snapped. “Oh, sorry!” Caelyum called out, and then snapped his fingers. Suddenly, every single crab inside the building froze…and then their claws and extremities retracted into their shells, leaving only a series of what looked like smooth, white stones scattered around the shop. With a second snap of his fingers, the stone crabs disappeared; there was no puff of smoke or flash of light. One second they were there…the next, they were not. Grim whistled, impressed. “Nice trick,” he murmured. “Is that your Unique Magic?” you asked. “Yep,” Caelyum nodded. “They’re called Locker Crabs, and you’d be surprised the kinds of things I can do with them…” “Cool!” Grim commented. “Hey, Tock!” you called out, hearing the rustling of snack food bags. “Leave some stuff for the rest of us, and hurry up! We need to get to the beach quickly!” “I’m hurrying, snack meat, I’m hurrying!” Tock called back dismissively. “The beach?” Caelyum spoke up, looking interested. “Why are you three heading there? What’s so important?” “We’re on a mission!” Grim cheered, puffing out his chest once more. “Oh, really?” smirked Caelyum, looking amused, and scoffed as he moved behind the front desk. “What for? Some sort of Valentine’s Day meeting, or something?” You frowned, sensing a bitterness to two particular words. “You mentioned you don’t make merry on Valentine’s Day,” you said slowly, approaching the desk and leaning on it. “What do you…y’know…have against it?” “Hm?” Caelyum murmured, then shrugged as he leaned back against the shelves behind the front desk. “Oh, well, it’s…not the day itself. More what it represents.” “Nya? What do you mean?” Grim asked, tilting his head. A shadow seemed to fall over Caelyum’s face, and he looked askance. Something icy and stormy flickered across his features. “Love,” he said, as if the word were some repellent toxin. You and Grim shared a look, then looked back to Caelyum. “Love is a lie,” Caelyum went on, seemingly talking more to himself than to either of you. “It’s like a parasite that burrows into your chest…and even once the sickness it spreads is cured, something in there remains, keeping you from ever knowing real peace. It pulls you along a blind alley, and just when you feel safe, it stabs you in every place it hurts most, and then leaves you to either heal on your own or die. It weakens your defenses, and confuses your resolve. And yet every year, every time this day comes around…I just see people acting like it’s the best thing in the universe.” He shuddered violently, looking positively ill. Grim meowed almost sadly. “I think love is mushy and gross, but…I don’t think it’s THAT bad,” he mewed. His words seemed to snap Caelyum out of it. The witch doctor’s assistant glanced up at you both…and, with a light chuckle, his helpful, friendly smile returned, the shadows departing in an instant. “Well…being mushy and gross doesn’t help,” he joked. Grim sniggered. Your own expression didn’t change, even as the employee leaned forward again. “Seriously, though, what IS your mission?” “We’re gonna be bodyguards!” Grim announced joyously. “Bodyguards?” “There’s a special guest coming to the show on campus tonight,” you explained. “The Headmaster assigned the three of us to look after her, since she’s a VIP.” “A really RICH VIP,” Grim added. “That’s our Headmaster,” Caelyum scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “So, who is this special guest?” “Mia Corazón.” Caelyum’s smile vanished, as if it had been smacked off his face. “Mia…Corazón?” he repeated. “Nya? Do you know her?” Grim asked. Caelyum didn’t answer, looking away; that hollow, haunted stare came to his face as he seemed lost in another world. “Mia Corazón,” he repeated again, then let out a soft, slightly hysterical laugh. “Of all the cursed days of the year…she chooses now…” Before you could ask what was wrong, Tock came lumbering over, arms loaded with various snacks and drinks. “There! That should be enough for all of us…or at least, for me,” he grinned, flashing you a wink that would have made you blush in an instant if your mind weren’t on other matters. He looked towards the assistant…then frowned, eyes narrowing. “Hey…who are you upset with?” The words once again snapped the brooding Caelyum out of it. He looked at Tock with surprise…then shook his head fast and brushed some of his pink hair away from his face. “No one. Nothing,” he insisted, and forced his smile back onto his face. “Now! Let’s, uh…let’s ring this up, aye?” In casual, business-like fashion, Caelyum charged Tock; you were grateful for the recent raise Crowley had given you as you paid for it all. The three of you then left the shop. Just before you exited, you turned to bid Caelyum one last farewell. He smiled and waved back… …But the moment you left, the darkness flooded his face once more, and he looked away, eyes smoldering like hot coals as he reached into his shirt… …Revealing the silver locket that was around his neck. The same sort in the photo Crowley had given you. The young man’s face became cold as an iceberg once more as he opened the locket…and sang to the tune the music box inside played. “Wild and strong, you can’t be contained. Never bound, nor ever chained. Wounds you caused will never mend, and you will never end…”

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“Why did you ask him that question?” Tock Crockwork belched and grunted as he finished up his lunch, licking and sucking on his fingers before looking to you, cheeks bulging as he still chewed his food. “Whuh queshun?” he mumbled out through a full mouth. “About why he was upset?” Grim spoke up, tilting his head. “I mean, he certainly looked upset, so…” “That wasn’t the question he asked though,” you clarified to Grim, then looked to Tock. “You specifically asked, ‘WHO are you upset WITH?’” Tock swallowed and let out a hiccupping burp before speaking. “Mph…yeah, and?” he grunted, patting his stomach and licking his lips free of any crumbs from the sandwich he had devoured. “Well…why did you assume he was upset with someone?” “I didn’t assume, I knew,” snorted Tock, and slung his arms behind his head as the three of you neared the beach of Sage Island. “That was the same look I saw in the mirror every day when I thought of Leona, or those boys back home.” Knowing what had happened in his conflict with Leona, you gulped at Tock Crockwork’s words. “Well, I hope he wasn’t mad at us,” murmured Grim. You smiled thinly; you had a very good idea you knew who Caelyum was mad at, given the context of things…and you were very much hoping you were wrong. You had the sinking feeling those hopes would be dashed as the three of you drew closer to the beach…and a familiar-sounding song, accompanied by the tinkling notes of a music box, drifted through the greenery and into your ears… “Over waves and deep in the blue; I will give up my heart for you. Ten long years I’ll wait to go by: My Love Will Never Die.” The source of the singing soon became clear as you pushed past the last few bushes of the wilderness and stepped onto the open, sunny beach. There was a single white bench nearby; standing beside the bench was a man in what looked like an almost Spartan uniform…and seated upon it was a young woman, with dark skin and long, black hair, dressed in a red and gold dress. In one of her hands, she lifted the pendant of a locket; the source of the music box tune. The lady snapped the locket shut, and she and her chaperone turned fast when they heard yourself and your companions approaching. She smiled, chocolate-toned eyes lighting up with interest. “Oh, hello!” she chuckled, seemingly a bit embarrassed at being caught in her reverie, and stood up as her suspicious compatriot narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you…my bodyguards?” “Yes, ma’am!” chirruped Grim, proudly. “Mia Corazón, I presume?” you smiled, respectfully. “That is right,” the young woman greeted, bowing her head in matching respect and lowering her locket. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” “Wait a minute…why do you need us to guard you?” Tock spoke up, and pointed to the Spartan-looking fellow. “Wouldn’t he be enough?” “Oh, that’s Firme. He actually has a date with his wife,” Mia answered, giving the man a teasing smile.

The guard blushed. “Miss Corazón, not in front of civlians!” he pleaded. Mia chuckled. “Sorry, Firme,” she apologized. “Now go on; I know she’s waiting for you.” Firme nodded gratefully, then glared at the three of you more seriously. “Protect her at any cost; we’re depending on you,” he ordered. “Aww, don’t worry, we’ll keep the little fishstick safe!” Tock smirked, cracking his knuckles and neck. “You can start by NOT calling her ‘fishstick,’” you droned, noting the nervous look on Mia’s face and the anger on Firme’s. You gave both an apologetic smile. “Sorry. He’s half-crocodile. Trust me, though, he’s a softy when you get to know him.” “HEY! I AM NOT!” snapped Tock, angrily. Grim just giggled. The interaction and your promise seemed to relax both denizens of the Coral Sea. Firme bowed to Mia, and then walked towards the beach…and kept walking, straight into the sea, until his head disappeared under the waves. “Well!” Mia smiled, and cheerily hurried towards your group. “Can we go see the show now? I don’t wanna be late!” “Of course…um…Your Excellency?” “Oh, don’t bother with titles like that,” the girl giggled. “Just call me Mia! Everybody does!” “Okay, Mia,” you chuckled, quite liking her warmth and energy. “Follow us, and stay close.” “I will,” Mia promised as the three of you set off along the beach. “Thank you, by the way; I hope this doesn’t cause you too much trouble.” “Quite the opposite,” grumbled Grim, remembering what Crowley had said earlier. “Why do you wanna see some silly show anyway?” sneered Tock. “Oh, it’s not silly!” exclaimed Mia. “The story of the Sea Witch and the Little Mermaid is important among my people…and besides, I think theater is exciting! I always enjoy seeing it!” “Hopefully our show won’t disappoint,” you smiled. Tock just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I still think it’s for wimps,” he mumbled…then abruptly froze. The rest of you stopped, too, looking to the croc boy as he sniffed the air and growled. “What is it?” Mia asked. “Something wrong?” “Very,” Tock nodded. “We are being watched.” “How do you know?” you asked. “Instinct? Intuition?” Tock growled and narrowed his eyes, looking at you determinedly. “No, meat. We. Are. Being. Watched.” “By who?” whispered Mia, nervously. “I have an idea,” you murmured with some dread. Before Mia could comment on your remark, all three of you heard a sharp yelp, and turned to see that Grim had inexplicably toppled over. The feline-like creature sat up and massaged his bumped noggin. “Owwww,” he moaned. “What happened?” Mia asked, sounding concerned. “I dunno!” Grim whined out. “Just…s-something seemed to come up from under me and…” “GAHR!” You jumped as, right on cue, Tock toppled over as well. Then it was your turn, as you felt something shift under the sand where you stood, and you dropped to the ground. The wind was knocked out of you for a moment, but you managed to sit up just in time to see three large, round humps in the sand…which seemed to move of their own accord. The three humps began to trace a path, circling Mia, who froze up and squeaked like a mouse, clearly confused and frightened. It only got worse when, suddenly, more and more humps seemed to appear out nowhere: at least a dozen or more, which shot through the sand, burrowing through it with a barely-audible scraping sound… …Then, dust flew up as the shapes burst from the ground. As the dust cleared, you and your friends watched wide-eyed as a consortium of familiar white crabs toppled Mia Corazón, and – working together to lift her, carried her off across the beachside. “HEY! PUT ME DOWN! STOP!” Mia cried out, but the crabs wouldn’t listen, and soon vanished from sight. “Nya…we’re off to a good start with this job,” sighed Grim dismally. “After them!” you barked, and leapt to your feet as you dashed after Mia and her arthropoid captors, Grim hot on your heels. Tock grumbled sourly as he dusted himself off then jogged after you. “Taking orders from my lunch…I’m gonna eat that stupid, mask-wearing, feather-loving…!”

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Mia cried out as the crabs carried her along the sand, her “volunteer” bodyguards soon out of sight. She tried to fight free, but the crabs pinched and held her fast, keeping her in place. She wasn’t sure how far or for how long they carried her…but suddenly they stopped, and she let out an “eep!” as they moved into a pillar, and pushed her up, allowing her to stand. The mermaid-in-disguise turned around, panting for breath as she watched the crabs swarm about each other…then, they seemed to coalesce and mesh together; their pale shells took on more colors; hints of pink, brown, and orange… …Until, finally, standing before her was a familiar young man with dreadlocks and a fishnet scarf. In his hand, he held a heart-shaped silver locket. “Come my love, be one with the sea. Rule with me for eternity. Drown all dreams so mercilessly, and leave their souls to me.” He snapped the locket shut at the end of the verse, and paused before uttering, in a mechanical, robotic tone, two words: “Ahoy, Mia.” Mia blinked slowly, absolutely stunned. “…C-Cael?” Caelyum blinked back and said nothing, his face emotionless and blank. Mia slowly smiled, her eyes lighting up…then squealed with joy and rushed forward, throwing her arms around the young man…who stood stiff and rigid, not even looking at her, as she hugged him close. “CAEL! I…oh, Gods, what do I even say?! It’s…it’s been so long…I’ve missed you so much! Where have you been?! Cael…Cael, I-I’m so happy…!” “Let. Go. Of. Me. You. BITCH.” Mia gasped as Caelyum harshly pushed her back, nearly knocking her over. Her heart sank as she stared at the young man, who glared at her, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. She looked deeply hurt…and not because of the push. “Cael?” she whispered. “Cael…wh-what’s wrong? Why…why are you upset with me?” Cael’s eyes flashed with anger. “What’s wrong?! Why am I upset?!” he repeated. “What in Hades do you THINK is wrong?!” Mia flinched as the boy from the swamplands’ voice rose to a perfect scream. Cautiously, steadily, she approached. “Cael…please…I-I don’t understand. I…I’ve wanted to see you again for such a long time, and now-” “How DARE you?!” shouted Caelyum, silencing the aristocratic mermaid. “How dare you say something like that to me?! After what you did to me, do you expect to believe you’ve ever cared?!” “I…what…I do care!” Mia pleaded, and tears began to twinkle in her eyes. “Cael, what are you talking about?” Cael laughed; a dangerously unhinged, malicious sound. “Oh-ho-ho, you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about! You should!” he spat…then, the bitterness was replaced by pain as he went on. “Two years, Mia. Two years I waited, and you never returned. You…y-you broke your promise to me…and did you ever think of me in those two years? Did you think of me even once in all the time since, until now?” Cael’s eyes began to brim with tears of his own; he was shaking. Mia felt her heart sinking further in her chest. “Of course I did,” she said, softly. “You’re…you’re my best friend.” One could almost hear Caelyum’s last heartstring break. “Best friend,” he repeated, in a dead, soulless voice…then hung his head. “You still don’t get it, do you, Mia? You broke my heart, Corazón…” Head still hung low, dreadlocks casting shadow over his eyes, Caelyum De Macabre lifted one arm, and snapped his fingers…and Mia nervously stepped back as a swarm of crabs appeared to trail across his arm and mesh together…forming a silver cutlass. “…And now, I’m going to break yours. Literally.” Ominously, Caelyum began to approach. Mia felt panic rise in her, and started to back away…then yiped, almost comically, as she tripped on her own dress and tumbled back. “C-Cael…Cael, PLEASE!” she cried out, as the boy loomed over her, his face twisted in anger as he began to lift the sword above his head… “HEY! BACK OFF!” FWOOSH! A jet of blue flame shot between Mia Corazón and Cael De Macabre; the lad from the swamplands jumped back, then growled angrily, turning to face the source. You had finally arrive, with Grim at your side, both of you glaring at the bokor’s assistant. “That’s enough, Caelyum,” you warned. Cael sneered. “It’s not enough,” he hissed, “Until she endures the same amount of PAIN and AGONY I HAVE!” With a roar, he rounded about to try and strike Mia down…then froze in place when he found she had seemingly disappeared. Startled and caught greatly off guard, he was unable to avoid the green scaled fist that grabbed hold of the back of his jacket, and cried out as, with a roar, the owner of the fist hurled about seven feet away, sending him rolling through the send. His sword spun through the air before stabbing into the ground right at the edge of the shore. Caelyum coughed and snarled and spat as he got onto his hands and knees…then glared as he found Tock Crockwork – now in his full “true form” – glaring at him, fangs and claws bared. “Keep away from the fishstick, swamp meat,” he spat. “Thank you,” Mia whispered. Tock just smirked at her – somewhat cockily but not cruelly – then glarde back at Caelyum as yourself and Grim moved to stand beside him, all of you making sure to create a barrier before poor Mia. Cael rose to his feet shakily. “Leave her alone, Caelyum,” you said. “This is not your fight!” he snapped back. “Uh…yeah, it kinda is,” Grim snorted. “We told you, this is our job today!” “You don’t know who you’re protecting,” Cael viciously sneered, his shoulders trembling with fury, his fingers clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white as the bones under his skin. “She cursed me!” “Cursed you?!” Mia exclaimed. “Caelyum, I never did ANYTHING to you!” “Yes, you did!” Cael answered…and gulped back a sob before explaining: “You made me love you.” All eyes widened; you and your friends looked to Mia, then back at Caelyum. “Ohhhh…now the pieces are coming together,” Grim murmured. “I know the look in your eyes, meat, and it’s not love,” Tock said, darkly. “Not love as it should be, anyway.” “Cael…I-I’m so sorry,” Mia quavered. “Of course you’re sorry,” Cael scoffed. “Everyone’s sorry when it’s too late.” So saying, he lifted his hand…and the sword that had stabbed into the ground “dissolved” into a group of crabs. They scurried across the beach, crawled up his side…and reformed into a cutlass in his grasp once more. “Put the weapon away, Caelyum!” you beseeched. “It doesn’t have to be like this!” “Yes it does!” Cael yelled. “Don’t you get it?! I can’t be free! I’ll always remember! I’ll always feel that pain! Love is a curse; a curse that hurts me, every day of my existence…but after today, I’m going to change that.” He closed his eyes. You had a bad feeling you knew what you’d see when he opened them again…and you were correct. One of his eyes was suddenly surrounded by a fiery aura. “Today, I break the curse.” KA-ZAM! The familiar black cloud of Overblot surrounded the shopkeeper’s boy. Blue and orange light flashed in the gaps between the vapor as it swirled around the fellow from the swamplands…until finally, the mist parted. When it did, you all found that Caelyum De Macabre had gone through an alarming transformation. His brown-tinted clothes had vanished, replaced with a blue-gray uniform like a navy seaman. One of his arms was stuck into the sleeve of a long, tattered cerulean coat with gold lining, which hung about his shoulders almost like a cape. A blood red sash was lashed about his middle. While his left eye was surrounded by orange aura, a tattoo had appeared over his right, in the image of a pirate medallion. His dreadlocks had transformed into a head of writhing, wriggling, pinkish-purple tentacles, like those of a squid; each tendril’s tip was smeared with ink. His left arm had become a white crab claw, ink oozing from its joins; his right leg had become a crab’s leg, too, and was also oozing with Blot. A single black boot covered his one human foot…and he still held his cutlass in his one human hand. Cael grinned viciously, pupils pinpricks as he pointed his sword at you. “Yo-Ho, me hearties!” he bellowed. “Shiver ‘em from stem to stern!” At these words, the ground before his feet seemed to ripple…and then, a swarm of Locker Crabs came scrambling from the ground, racing towards your group. “I’ll take care of this!” Grim pronounced, and summoned a wall of flame. As the fire struck the crabs, they vanished in a cloud of silver smoke…but more just kept coming! Caelyum laughed and began to move towards your group, swaggering as the point of his crab-leg stabbed into the ground repeatedly. Seeing the approaching dark mage, Grim paused to hurl a fireball in his direction…only for Cael to split in half, crab legs showing in the “seam” of his being, as the fireball hurtled past without causing any harm. He stitched himself back together and kept moving forward, as if nothing had happened. Tock Crockwork roared and charged at Cael, swinging a punch at him…but De Macabre simply swept up his crab claw and, in a fluid, wrenching motion, whirled Tock about and flung him to the beach floor. He grinned with deranged excitement as he moved closer to yourself and Mia, leaving Tock to choke in the dust. “Hold them off, Grim!” you called out as he continued to scorch the crabs. “I’ll try!” Grim called back. “Run for it, Minion! RUN NOW!” And you did, holding onto Mia’s arm as you dragged her after yourself. With a wild laugh, Caelyum lifted his sword up…and then “melted” into a swarm of crabs, which scurried after the two of you as you raced along the beach. Behind you, Tock snarled, clutching his banged skull as he watched the horde of crabs vanish. He angrily kicked away a few that Grim didn’t manage to stop, and then charged forward. Grim panted; he was already growing weary. “I…I can’t hold them off!” he meowed. “There’s…there’s too many-EEP!” “Stop whining and shut up,” snarled Tock, whisking Grim up in one arm and sprinting on, the pair pursued by the remaining Locker Crabs. “We’ve got more important things to worry about, come on!” Unaware that your friends were on the chase, you hurried along with Mia Corazón. The crabs that made up Cael’s being clicked and scraped behind you with a deeply unsettling sound, urging you to go faster and faster. “Wait!” Mia gasped. “If…I…can…talk…to him…!” “I don’t think he’s in a mood to talk!” you replied. “Right now, all we can do is…!” You trailed off and stopped short as the crabs suddenly caught up with you…and then moved around you, reforming in front of you into a column. Thinking fast you looked around… …And were just in time to grab hold of sturdy tree branch, as a sword reshaped and then stabbed at you. You barely had a moment to parry the strike, the blade cutting a notch into the wooden limb you held. “Stay behind me!” you hissed to Mia, as Cael reformed fully. “So, it’s a duel then?” Cael cackled. “Alright! EN GARDE!” You yelped, instinctively blocking as the sword slashed at you once more. The slash was followed by a lunge; you jumped back quickly and parried that strike, too. CLING-CLANG-CLING-CLANG! The cutlass and the branch clattered against each other, the sound of the steel against wood that was tougher than it looked ringing out. Each time Cael tried to get around you to lunge at Mia, you blocked his path. You laughed softly, amazed you were holding out; guess one didn’t know how good they’d be at something like a swordfight till they tried! You ducked another slash, and responded by swinging your stick around. WHACK! Caelyum reeled as you managed to smack him across the face…then slowly turned back. He looked…annoyed. “Ow,” was all he said, almost sarcastically, before swinging his blade around again. You quickly lifted your branch… SWACK! And gulped nervously as the cutlass sliced it clean in half. “Oh, boy.” “HA HA!” laughed Cael, and lifted his crab leg, kicking you hard in the stomach. You coughed, dazed and winded as you crumpled to the ground. Now, nothing was standing between the enraged Caelyum and his prey: Mia. The mermaid with legs began to back away in fright…then cried out sharply as Cael thrust out his crab claw and grabbed her by the throat with it. A grin of evil triumph spread across his face as he lifted his weapon above his head. “And here we are at last,” he crooned with twisted delight, and squeezed, making Mia gasp for air. “Any last words, my dear?” Mia gulped…and looked pleadingly into the Swamplander’s eyes as she uttered five simple words. “Cael…please…I love you!” Just before the last three words were uttered, Cael had prepared to attack…but then he froze. The grip of his pincer loosened as she said those three golden words, and the demented smile vanished from his face. He hesitated, as if those words had caused something in his brain to just shut down… Which was all the opportunity you needed. CRACK! “GAH!” exclaimed Caelyum, and dropped Mia, who coughed as she hit the ground. His tentacle hairdo wriggled like a horde of angry snakes as he glared at you in rage: the stone you had thrown at his shoulder had hurt! With a furious roar, he swung his sword around his head three times, trying to cut you into pieces. You ducked and dodged each strike as fast as you could…only to fall back as Cael summoned a horde of sand crabs. You squirmed and grimaced as the crabs pinned you to the ground, acting like organic shackles. You winced as each time you moved, they pinched you hard, making you stay still. Caelyum smirked victoriously, and pointed the tip of his cutlass at your heart. “Tell me, Prefect,” he taunted. “Do you fear death?” “Do you?” CHOMP! Caelyum began to turn around towards the voice, his face etched with surprise…and stayed perfectly still, as if he’d become a statue, paralyzed in shock. The red marking of Tock Crockwork’s unique power – One Minute to Die – was evident on his left arm. “NOW!” the crocodile shouted, as Grim hurried over. The feline-like creature wasted no time: he focused his power, a bright blue aura surrounding him…before, with a spiteful hiss, sending a huge jet of flame towards Caelyum. Caelyum was sent flying through the air, clothing scorched, and rolled across the dirt, still in the position he had been stuck in. Only a few seconds later, he convulsed, and groaned, trying to stand up… …Only to find Tock looming over him. “This,” the crocodile hissed, “Is why I’M top of the food chain, snack meat!” WHAM! He spun around, slapping his tail across Cael’s face…and the Overblotting mage fell still and silent, rendered swiftly unconscious. The sword disappeared without warning from his hand, as if it had never been there. The crabs he had summoned all vanished in the blink of an eye: just like at the shop, one moment they were there, and the next they were not. All four of you – yourself, Mia, and your friends – sighed with relief. “Thanks,” you nodded to Tock as he helped you to your feet. “Hey, I’ve gotta protect my territory; that includes you,” Crockwork shrugged. You decided not to comment on that. “Are you okay, Miss Corazón?” meowed Grim, nuzzling up against the mermaid’s side. She smiled weakly and patted his head before standing. “Physically, yes,” she said. The teenaged girl’s eyes then lit up with concern as she hurried over to Cael’s side. “Cael…Cael, are you okay? S-Speak to me!” she pleaded. “He just tried to kill you!” Grim snapped out. “He wasn’t thinking straight,” Mia defended him. “Just…h-he didn’t understand…” She sniffled and bowed her head. “…C-Caelyum…I’m so sorry…” You and Grim shared a sad sort of look. Tock just looked confused, above all else. “What happened between you two?” the croc grimaced, crossing his scaly arms. “I think we’re about to find out,” you said, and pointed as silver mist began to wisp off of Caelyum De Macabre’s form. A moment later, a blinding white light surrounded the young man…and the mist formed a cloud, inside of which – as always seemed to happen – pictures from the past began to appear… “Tag! You’re it!” “I’ll get you! Ha Ha Ha!” In the swamplands of the Jubilee Port, a small boy with pink dreadlocks giggled and hid behind a tree by the riverbank. For several seconds, he sat anxiously…then yelped when, out of the river burst a familiar, dark face with flowing raven hair. “GOTCHA!” sang out the girl with the gold and ruby tail, and reached out a hand to playfully tap his shoulder. “No fair!” huffed the boy. “I always have to stay near the water; you never let me have an advantage!” The girl giggled and smirked teasingly. “Not my fault you’re a lousy swimmer,” she cooed. The boy grumbled and pouted. She smiled gently. “I’m sorry, Cael; I didn’t mean it,” she said, placing a hand on his leg… “AHA!” the boy laughed, and tapped her hand before jumping away. “You’re it again!” “HEY! THAT’S CHEATING!” The two laughed as the girl swam through the river, chasing the bayou boy up and down the banks…before finally leaping out of the river with a victorious cry. “RAAAAH!” “EEK!” Young Caelyum yelped as he was thrown to the ground. The girl with the fish tail grinned, flippers wagging happily as she kept him pinned. “Gotcha again!” she sang out. Young Cael giggled and wiggled under her. “Hey, lemme go!” he demanded with a slight laugh. “Hmmmm…if I do, will you just tag me again?” “…Maybe?” The mermaid glared…and tickled her friend with her tail. Cael squealed with laughter before flashing an evil smile. “Ohhhhh, you wanna play that way, huh?” He tickled her back and the two rolled across the bank…before yelping and splashing into the river. A moment later, both rose from the depths Caelyum coughing and floundering. “Help! Mia, help! I’m drowning!” “I’ve got you, hold on!” Mia said, and helped Cael back to shore. The boy sighed with relief and began to wring out his clothes. “Thank you,” he gasped out. “No problem,” Mia smiled. “I’m sorry you got all wet…” “It’s okay; I’ve got other clothes,” Cael smiled. Mia nodded, then smiled a bit more sadly. “I still should have been more careful: there may be more clothes, but there’s only one Caelyum.” Cael blushed. “Hush, you’re just teasing me now…” “No. I’m not,” Mia said seriously. “You’re my best friend, Cael.” Cael blinked, pausing in his activities. “…But…don’t you have other mermaid friends?” “I may have OTHER friends, but you’re my BEST friend,” smiled Mia. “And there’s only one of you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Cael blinked again…then smiled sentimentally. “Heh…well, um…you’re my best friend, too, Mia. And, uh…a-and I feel the same.” “I’m glad,” Mia smiled. A pause. “You should really suck less at swimming though.” “Oh, hush. Say! Maybe you can teach me?” “Sure!” That word seemed to be a cue, for the scene changed to a few years later; the same river on the bayou, the same boy and girl, just a little older. “MARCO!” “POLO!” The Mermaid floated with her upper half above the water, eyes closed, flapping her tail as she blindly searched for her friend. Cael would pop up now and again with a gleaming, gloating grin as he watched her try to find him: he’d learned to swim VERY well in the years since that time playing tag. “MARCO!” Mia called out again. “POLO!” laughed Cael. “Oh, this is impossible, you’re too fast!” “Suck less at swimming,” teased Caelyum. “I’m a MERMAID, all we DO is swim!” “You can walk!” “I need a potion or a spell for that,” huffed Mia, and turned around, trying to feel about for her friend. Cael smirked and dove under again, swimming cautiously around her in the wide river… …But as he popped up again, he was due for a terrible sight. He gasped as he saw Mia blindly reaching closer to the shore…where a venomous serpent glared at her oncoming form almost hungrily… “MARCO!” “MIA, WATCH OUT!” Confused, Mia opened her eyes…then gasped as she saw the snake rearing back to bite her! She pulled away just in time, and at the same moment, Cael glared and snapped his fingers. The snake heard a clicking noise, and turned its head to find a white crab snapping its pincers. The pincers swung towards its throat… SNICKER-SNACK! And that was the end of the snake. Mia swam back to Caelyum’s side as she snapped his fingers again and the crab disappeared. He hugged her close. “Are you okay?” he whispered, worriedly. “Yeah…i-it didn’t get me,” she panted with relief, and squeezed him tightly. “Thank…th-thank you…” Caelyum smiled warmly and returned the hug…then froze up as Mia leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said again, and nuzzled against his bare chest. Cael blinked…then blushed red as a tomato and grumbled. “…Hey, what are friends for…? More time passed, and the swamp disappeared. The scene now became a lonely pier. On it sat Caelyum and Mia, who was now in full human form. “Do you really have to go?” he whispered. Mia nodded sadly, hanging her head. Cael bit his lip, and looked away, tragedy in his eyes. “…When…w-when will you be back?” he asked, timidly. “I don’t know,” Mia admitted sadly, then smiled gently up at her friend. “My mother said I need to start learning more about the family business; spending less time on land and…well…with you.” Cael frowned and clenched his fists. “I see.” Mia’s smile fell…and she gave Caelyum a hug. He relaxed. “She’s set in her ways,” she said softly. “But I will never forget you. And I WILL come back.” “Do you promise?” “Of course. You’re my best friend,” smiled Mia…then reached into a bag she had with her, stationed between the two. “Here…I have proof…” Cael tilted his head as out of the bag she pulled two silver necklaces with heart shaped lockets. She gave him one, and clasped the other around her neck. “What is this?” Cael asked, crinkling his nose in confusion. “A sign that we both share the same heart,” Mia said, and giggled. “That’s the really sappy way of saying it, anyway. Put it on and open it!” Cael did, and at the same time he opened the locket, Mia did too…and soft, beautiful melody chimed from the music box contained. Caelyum’s eyes widened. “That’s the song you taught me,” he recognized, and looke dup to Mia. “The one about the pirate and the goddess of the sea?” Mia nodded. “It’s your favorite…my favorite…OUR favorite,” she said gently, and took Cael’s hands in hers, looking into his eyes with deep-rooted affection. “And as long as we share these lockets, share these songs…we’ll never truly be away from each other.” Caelyum smiled weakly. “I don’t know about that,” he chuckled, wryly. “But…thank you, Mia.” He paused. “You…you know I love you…right?” Mia blushed. “Yes. And I love you too.” Cael gaped. “You do?” “Of course, silly! You’re my best friend!” Cael blinked…then smiled and shook his head wearily. “Yeah…I know,” he said softly. “I…I know.” A pause…and the pair began to sing together to the mingled tune on their music boxes as they watched the sun sink on the horizon beyond the sea. “Warm and welcoming as the sea, someday I will return to thee. Hear my voice, sing with the tide: Our Love Will Never Die.” Time passed once more, but the music box still played. The next scene played in silence, as Cael lay on his bed silently one night. He hummed to the tune on the locket, and glanced sorrowfully towards a calendar on his wall. Every date was crossed out with a red X. He sighed…then snapped the locket shut…before a lightbulb seemed to go off over his head, and he reached towards his book case, grabbing a specific spell book… This short tableaux was followed by another as Caelyum was now found…underwater. His lower half had become a white-scaled fish’s tail as he swam through the water, using a spell that would turn him into a merman for a few short hours. He’d taken a boat out to the coordinates where he knew Mia lived. Now, he swam quickly and quietly through the city, looking for Mia. His eyes darted this way and that, seeking some sign of his long lost friend; two years without any sort of contact – never a call, never anything written – and he was now so close to seeing her again! He smiled wider as he moved into one of the higher rent neighborhoods of the underwater area, carefully brushing past other, natural merfolk going about their business. His heart was beating fast in his chest; when he found her, he’d tell her everything. How he felt, how much it hurt to be without her, how much he never wanted to be separated again! Then he found her, as he turned an alley…and that fast beating heart seemed to skip a beat… …As his face filled with sorrow. Only yards away – never noticing he was there, he saw a strong, burly-looking merman with blonde hair…hugging his Mia and kissing her full on the lips. He clamped his eyes shut…and swam away, out of the city and back towards the surface. His tears were lost with the tides. Thus ended the vision, as the blinding light faded, leaving an unconscious Caelyum De Macabre lying on the ground, back to his usual self. “…Prefect?” “Yeah, Grim?” “Is it, like…a requirement that we stand here for several seconds in total silence after we see those?” “No, I think it just happens.” “Ah. Okay then.” Tock Crockwork said nothing. A few moments later, Cael groaned and began to stir. He blinked his eyes and clutched his pink-haired head as he started to sit up. “Ugh…what…wh-what happened?” he slurred out. “You tried to turn my food into shish-kabob,” droned Tock, thumbing towards you. “Shut up,” you grumbled. Confused, Cael turned towards your voices, and looked about to say something…until he heard sniffling and whimpering. He turned…and found the teary-eyed face of Mia staring back at him. “C-Cael,” she whimpered…then let out a squealing cry that caught him off guard as she threw herself upon him and began to cry. “CAEL, I’M SO SORRY! I’m so, so sorry…please…please, I’m sorry, PLEASE…!” Caelyum, as you might imagine, looked beyond uncomfortable…and with a growl, he managed to push Mia off of him. She whimpered like a kicked puppy as, without a word, he got to his feet and turned away from her, one hand on his chest, clutching his silver locket. “Sorry isn’t enough,” he answered, coldly. Mia gulped…and stood up. “Cael…please don’t walk away,” she begged. “Why not?” Caelyum snarled back over his shoulder, and began to stumble away. “Because I love you!” Cael stopped. He didn’t turn around…but he stopped. Mia paused…and took a deep breath. “I love you,” she said, firmly now, not desperately. “I…I always loved you, but…but I was…I don’t know, I…I was worried…” She hung her head and paused before going on. Cael turned his head slightly to show he was listening. “When I returned to the sea, my mother didn’t want me to ever go back to the land. She forbid it. She told me I had to stay under the water, and…and find a proper husband. She told me to forget about you, and…that merman you saw? He was…my betrothed.” Cael growled. “WAS,” Mia pointed out, and then went on quickly: “Cael, I could NEVER forget you, and I could NEVER stop loving you. Those two years…they were agony for me. That time in the alley…I asked him to kiss me because I wanted to show him we WEREN’T right for each other. He agreed; there just…wasn’t a spark. We liked each other, but…we both knew it would be wrong.” She swallowed, and lifted her head. “So…we both spoke to my mother. And…she realized what she’d been doing was wrong. The very next day, I went back to the swamplands; I looked everywhere for you…you weren’t there.” Silence. “I’m so sorry, Caelyum,” she sniffled. “I’m…I’m so-” Cael stopped her with a raised hand…and slowly turned towards her. All of you were surprised to see tears in his eyes. “…I just tried to kill you.” “Yes.” “I ran off over this whole misunderstanding.” “Yes.” “All this pain, all this time…and you really loved me?” “Yes.” “And…you…still love me? After all that?” Mia smiled. “Yes.” Cael blinked…then let out a wet laugh. “Wow,” he chuckled. “I…I guess swimming isn’t the only thing we both suck at. I mean…we’re n-not very good at this whole ‘relationship’ thing, either, are we?” Mia shared a sniffling laugh…and the pair promptly ran into each other’s arms. “I’m so happy I found you,” Mia sobbed with joy. “I’ve missed you so much…” “Not half as much as I’ve missed you,” Cael choked. The pair squeezed each other…then backed up, holding each other’s hands and staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. “Play the song you sang long ago,” Cael began. “And wherever the storm may blow,” Mia continued. “You will find the key to my heart,” both finished. “We’ll never be apart.” “Aaaaand…kiss,” you murmured to yourself with a smile, as the pair did exactly that. Tock snorted, rolling his eyes as Grim stuck out his tongue and grumbled something about “soppy mush.” The two lovebirds parted after a few seconds…then seemed to remember you were all standing nearby, and blushed before backing away from each other like scalded cats. “Um…s-sorry,” Caelyum mumbled. “About trying to destroy us, or for that sappy display?” droned Tock. “Because I can forgive one of those…” “It’s the destroying us part, isn’t it?” you guessed. “Yyyyep.” Cael hung his head and shuffled his feet guiltily. “…I’ve…had a lot of pain bottled up for years,” he said silently. “And…when I heard she was coming here…I…well…” “It’s alright,” you soothed, moving closer. “I can understand. And for the record, we won’t tell the Headmaster.” “Nya…or Chief Jehan,” Grim added. “Claude Jehan?” Mia spoke up, and tilted her head. “Is he really as scary as they say back home? The Ashengrottos and Leeches have a LOT of stories to tell.” “I’d imagine,” you snickered. “And no. He’s not that scary.” “Right. He’s WORSE,” Tock responded. “Amen,” you and Grim chorused. Mia gulped nervously; Cael chuckled softly, smiling at her with puppy-eyed affection. “I…hope he’s not going to be at the play tonight,” she said slowly. “Trust me, you’ll be fine,” you soothed. “Well, we won’t be if we don’t get there on time!” Grim reminded you. “We’re already behind schedule, thanks to all this!” “The hairball has a point,” nodded Tock, stiffly, then grumbled under his breath: “I still say it’s all for pansies, though…” All of you chuckled…except Mia, who took Cael by the hand. “Can…can he come, too?” she asked, shyly. Cael looked shocked, as did Grim and Tock. You just smiled wider. “If he wants to,” you answered. Cael blinked…then grinned so wide his face nearly seemed to split in two. “Please!” he nodded eagerly. “Then come on!” you called, and gestured for the reunited lovers to follow. “Let’s get moving before my pay gets docked! I have a pet to feed, you know!” “I AM NOT YOUR PET!” snapped Grim, while Tock cackled with amusement, snapping his fingers and resuming his humanoid form. Caelyum De Macabre and Mia Corazón just smiled and squeezed each other’s hands, following at a steady pace. It took longer than it should have to reach the theater, in the end, but you still made it in the nick of time. When asked why it took so long, you had an honest answer: Cael and Mia were so busy staring into one another’s eyes with everlasting love, it made getting there quickly difficult. In your mind, and theirs, it was more than worth it.

 The End

[rwbyremnants]

NOTE: Car sex, cunnilingus.

WOW, I can't believe after so long between updates it's finally all up! Hope you guys enjoyed the ride and are happy that Ruby and Winter figured it all out. Again, I know sometimes this account goes quiet even though I'm always writing; I just can't always find the time to set aside to edit and update the fics. It won't be right away but I can tell you that the next installment of the White Noise universe is definitely coming someday. Until then, see you in the other fics!

-NBW

=Chapter 11

Once the newly happy couple entered the conservatory, it became too crowded to talk about their private affairs. Everyone was sat around in the living room, surrounding Weiss who took the middle of the sofa with Yang at her side. Blake and Sun had made it, and they were lingering near Yang. There was still no sign of Qrow, Taiyang or Penny yet. They must have been more held up than they thought. Even if people were still engaged in their own conversations rather than fully focusing on their host, it was still too risky.

But that didn't stop Ruby standing in place by Winter's side, idly brushing their hands by one another. Not holding, but enough to make her presence known.

"Okay, I guess we're ready!" Weiss was announcing as Winter hooked her own pinky around Ruby's. No one would have noticed how nervous she was unless they were close to her - either physically or emotionally. Nervous, yet excited.

"Hang on," Blake said, holding up her phone and aiming the camera at Weiss. "Okay, ready!"

"Open Yang's! It's sappy!" Ruby called across the crowd loudly, knowing it would definitely be heard on the recording.

It was a small haul of presents in comparison to previous years, but no one particularly minded. Both the hosts understood that many of their guests either didn't know what to get or couldn't afford much – and they themselves had insisted nobody break the bank. It made the cards reviewed all the more special, which Weiss had Yang display by the fireplace right away.

Nearly an hour later, everyone had gathered at the dinner table. Weiss put the various presents to one side but insisted on wearing the bracelet. While agreeing it was sappy, she loved it – just as both Ruby and Yang suspected she would. Yang and Weiss were sat at one end, with Fènleng in her high chair at the head of the table. By their side were Sun and Blake, then Neon and Inu, then Winter and Ruby. The rest of the guests were further along, with only a few taking the sofa due to lack of space at the table. Everyone took what they wanted from the buffet of sandwiches and snacks, complimenting Neon and Yang who had put it all together on this occasion.

Ruby sometimes managed to give Winter a shy wave. There was still no sign of Penny just yet. But while things were up in the air with Winter, she assumed that was for the best. They could talk soon.

"You know," Winter said to Neon as she leaned to one side so they could speak more easily, "you two did quite a good job on this spread. If you ever get tired of performing, you could probably try your hand at party planning."

Blowing a loud raspberry, she smirked back toward her. "No way! Any nimrod can spread some mayo on bread’n add some tuna or ham. I just needed to do it a few hundred times!"

"Well, I might think about it! I'm sure as hell still not used to going out and people recognising me on the street, like I’m somebody." Grabbing a few of the cheese sandwiches and some potato chips, Yang looked toward her little sister from across the table. "Don't worry, I put Penny's vegan stuff to the side so she'll have plenty when she gets here. Made it special!"

"Oh, great! She'll really like that!" Ruby grinned straight back, having just put a bratwurst on her plate and adding more chips. "They're still held up, I think… traffic must be bad."

"Sometimes it gets pretty congested," Weiss agreed as she popped a devilled egg into her mouth. "Flying out of Nashville is as miserable as LAX. But you get used to it."

"This tuna is excellent," Blake commented with a smile. "You really went all out."

"Seconded! I'm surprised it hasn’t summoned the real cat yet." Taking a few of the tuna sandwiches for herself, Neon then looked back to Weiss while she prepared her own and some of Fènleng's food. "Hey, where is Xu-Xu anyways?"

But while they had their light, aimless conversations, it seemed Ruby was zoning out for a moment. She had got her food, and simply stared blankly at her plate as she began to eat. Dwelling on Penny being late would do no good for her mood, so eating was a good solution.

And so was something else going on under the table. About a third of the way through her bratwurst, Ruby could feel a sensation sliding up her calf. It was very light, but definitely present; a teasing. As it did so, she could hear Winter answering another question Blake had asked.

"Oh, I'm not much of a pet person. But I might be persuaded to take in a rescue." Her eyes flicked between both her and Ruby. "Perhaps a cat and a dog, if they could play nice with each other."

Swallowing the meat in her mouth, Ruby shuddered with both a mixture of shock and pleasure. She could feel very easily it was Winter's soft foot, teasing her with those pedicured nails. And it began to rise! Then it hit her: Winter's ultimate payback for what happened with her father. She wasn't finished with her just yet, but could balance their debts by winding her up in front of all the guests.

"Really?" Blake was laughing with a wider smile. "Maybe find a cat who wouldn't mind being cat-sat by you until you could adopt one of your own. I could help you with that."

The elder Schnee sister hummed her agreement as the teasing went up to Ruby's knee, tracing tiny circles as it went. "You know, that might be nice. Test if I'm really ready to take on a pet full-time."

Again, her eyes went back to Ruby. Now biting her lip, Ruby waited for what was coming. She had to maintain a mask of calm, not show that she was really flustered. She never considered all these factors when doing it to Winter. No wonder she wanted to get back at her in this way; it would teach her not to underestimate how hard this was to do on the receiving end.

"Ahem!" Sun ejaculated toward Winter in regards to her comments. Assuming they were intended for Blake, he leant forward. "'Ix-nay' on the 'Et stuff-pay', alright? These people are super vanilla!"

Leaning forward herself, Winter's foot disappeared during the action. "Nobody would pick up on what we meant if you weren't drawing more attention to it, Monkey Boy," she hissed. Though she was still smiling; not at all upset, just mildly bemused that Sun had let himself get so easily flustered.

Looking downward got his plate and groaning in annoyance instead, he murmured, "Just shut up and eat your sandwiches."

But Ruby was finally sighing with relief, going back to her sandwich. She assumed that Winter had stopped taunting her, thinking she realised how mean it really was in front of people. That she had enjoyed her revenge.

"Aww, it's okay," Blake was murmuring to Sun very gently, petting his shoulder to soothe him. "But Winter is right in this case; we were just talking about pets. No big deal."

"And a well cared for pet is a happy pet," Winter went on, as her foot resumed its upward progress - this time, starting at the knee and working inward. "Don't worry, I've done a lot of pet-sitting in my time."

"Oh really?” Yang put in. “We'll have to get you to cat-sit Xu-Xu for us, Winter. See, we wanted to take Fènleng to Disneyland sometime soon-"

Yang was immediately cut off by Neon. "Kids her age can barely go on anything!"

"Who said it was just for her?"

But the host's little sister was distracted once more. Forced to release the sandwich which dropped to her plate, she froze up once again. Winter was continuing to wind her up in plain sight. She only hoped that no one was going to notice, somehow.

"Wouldn't mind it a bit," she was saying serenely while pushing her foot further and further between Ruby's thighs, underneath the meager protection her skit offered. "Though Neon does have a point. It might be more fun if you leave Fèn with one of us and just go to Disney yourselves."

"I could never do that!" Weiss gasped out, placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder for emphasis. "My little girl, alone, for days at a time?!"

"Babe, didn't you wanna go back on tour for a couple of months next year, though?" Yang laughed. Looking back to Neon and Winter, she smiled. "For her, it would mainly be for pictures. We wanna build lots of memories and make some scrapbooks and stuff. You know, stuff to embarrass her with in front of her friends, or when she brings a date home."

Once the foot pressed home beneath the skirt, however, there was a harsh thud at the table from where Ruby jumped in surprise, knees impacting with the surface above. Either way, it got quite a bit of attention - the opposite of what she wanted. Already her cheeks were glowing.

It was remarkable how real the look of confusion and concern on Winter's face was as she asked, "Are you alright?" Even as the toes resumed their progress, getting so close to the mark again, she was laying her palms on either side of her plate, as if pretending she was about to stand.

"I-I… U-Uh…" By now, Ruby could feel her right up against her panties, pressing inward and taunting her fragile flesh. How was she supposed to respond to that with everyone looking? She didn't have as much self-control as Winter did!

There was nothing else for it. As much as she didn't want to give up and accept her fate, she found herself having to move her chair back slightly. He blush was completely red, enough to give Winter a big enough hint that her efforts were not fruitless. Once out of the foot's reach, she shot an apologetic look over toward Weiss.

"S-sorry, just need the bathroom. Where, uh, was it again?"

"There's one right here on this floor," Weiss said in some confusion. "And downstairs and upstairs, of course. You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Y-yeah… I… Sorry, I forgot. I'm being dumb. E-excuse me!"

And barely even managing to tuck her skirt back down in time, Ruby dashed away from her chair and straight to the bathroom, leaving their guests very confused. Winter had to play it cool. Even with the guilty thrill that shot into her stomach, she had to at least pretend that she had no idea that anything was wrong with Ruby. However, after a full minute had passed, she withdrew her phone from her bosom and sent a quick message.

R u ok?

"Your sister's kinda crazy, Yang." Neon was heard commenting as she went to grab more tuna sandwiches.

"Yeah, but at least she's in better moods now." Yang admitted, looking toward the eldest Schnee with a bright smile. "We got Winter to thank for that."

But after a short moment, there was a buzz through to Winter's phone. A message back.

Fine! I guess I deserved that. But I knew I was gonna end up moaning so I had to leave quick! D:

"Oh, I just… did what I could," Winter said evasively as she began to type back.

You could have stopped me and said it was too much, I just thought it would be fun ; ) I'll help you moan more later

"My sister's so modest," Weiss said in a voice dripping with sarcasm. But she was smirking. "She's so good at reassuring people. The same sister who once convinced me that if I ate a caterpillar, I would have a literal butterfly in my stomach."

"That was ONE time!" Winter said in exasperation as she laid her phone down to take a drink of water. "And I was five, you can hardly blame me!"

While everyone chuckled, Weiss said, "Can't I?"

"Oh, that's bush league compared to the stuff I did." Yang laughed, holding up the hand with her sandwich to gesture along with her story. "When we had our first dog, Ein, Ruby would always try and run around on all fours like him. I told her if she did absolutely everything a dog does, she would be able to turn into one."

"Oh my God, please tell me she didn't whiz on any fire hydrants!" Sun was already laughing halfway through Yang's story, but then came another vibration from Winter's phone.

Honestly I haven't felt up to doing anything so long it's so tempting just to go to town on myself in here o//o

"Nothing like that!" Yang could be heard continuing. "But I looked away for two minutes, then suddenly both Ein and Ruby are rolling in a pool of mud! Dad was so pissed when we got home!"

With a knowing glint in her eye, Blake said in a deceptively-casual tone, "Wow, maybe you should look after Ruby when you look after Xu-Xu, Winter."

"Oh? Oh, I- perhaps so!" Now Winter could feel her own desires returning, but she was well practiced at maintaining a façade; no one else would know she was turned on. Even as she began to casually type…

Not yet. Please? I want to help more… directly. Tell me where to meet u

Here? Really???

But Yang quickly gave Blake a rather playful glare. She might have been oblivious to what Blake was talking about, but assumed it was something else instead. "What are you saying, my sister's a furry or something? Gross."

Another vibration. Ruby had added to her last reply before Winter could type her own: My car.

"Nothing against furries, but if she likes rolling around in the dirt, might be better to have someone putting her on a leash." Again, Blake glanced at Winter with a smirk.

"Well, I think this conversation is taking a turn for the strange," Weiss observed as she reached for another handful of chips to add to her plate. "My sister walking my sister-in-law like a dog! You're weird, Blake."

"Weird, yeah," Blake was muttering while Winter replied to her texts.

Slip out the back and around the house, I'll excuse myself when I can

"Some people are into that," Neon spoke up with a small smirk. In fact, she looked toward not only Weiss who started the conversation, but also occasionally to the woman sat opposite her. The ever-silent Inu.

"For real? People get off on being treated like a dog?" But the more Yang commented on it, the shorter Inu seemed to become as she sank down in her seat, cheeks reddening. Contrary to what the three people at the table who had prior experience in the Clamp assumed, it seemed there was yet another who shared those sorts of interests among them!

But Winter would have to miss that conversation if it went on. She had just received another message:

I'll text Weiss just to tell her I'll be on the phone. Should buy us enough time. I'm headed to the car now, don't keep me waiting or I'll have to start without you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Feeling her heart speed up into her throat, Winter let out a long, beleaguered sigh. Then she texted back a simple “Ok, be there soon” before pushing her chair back, finally putting on the shoe she had dislodged to tease her poor sub.

"I am sorry, I have to take this after all; some business can't wait. Don't worry, I'll just nip out front and take care of it. Excuse me."

But Blake's amber eyes were focused entirely on Winter as she stood. "Well, have fun." It was said flippantly, as if she were being sarcastic, but they both knew she was serious.

"Hurry back!" Weiss bade her as she strode from the table and out the front door. "All this food isn't going to eat itself!"

Due to how much closer the front door was to the car than the back door, Winter actually made it outside first. Therefore, she spent the time slipping off her cardigan and draping it over one arm, strolling lazily toward Ruby's car. Her heart was pounding with excitement, but she didn't dare show it. Not when there was a slim chance someone might glance out the foyer window and spot her dancing like a giddy schoolgirl.

Before Ruby was in sight, the car could be heard unlocking as the lights flashed. Then came one more vibration from the phone.

Just getting my shoes. Get in, seats can be lowered and there's a blanket in the back, be two seconds ; )

Winter blinked down at the message, then pulled the door handle, sliding into the passenger's side. As she closed the door, she began to message back - because it had to be asked.

Where were your shoes before??

I took them off when I first came over. She always keeps the garden clean so I never bothered to put them back on!

But finally, Ruby was in sight walking around the building. She had managed to avoid the gaze of the other guests as she made her way to the car. But just before she got there, she sent one last teasing text.

Surprised you didn't notice actually ; )))))

Biting her lip, Winter wrapped her phone in her cardigan and put it in the back seat, then grabbed the blanket to pull over herself. She waited until the driver's side door opened before she spoke.

"I had other worries on my mind. But… now that you mention it, I do seem to remember spotting some cute little piggies dancing along the floor…"

Quickly shutting the door behind her and locking it, Ruby grinned just as giddily when she looked back to Winter. She could barely even contain herself as she lowered her seat, attempting to create a more comfortable area for their activities.

"I wasn't thinking about it! Not till you started teasing me with yours. You total asshole, by the way!"

"Just thought I'd pay you back," she said with a grin, sliding the blanket so that she could throw it over Ruby, as well. "A little. Not really make you too uncomfortable - at least, I hope I didn't."

"No, it didn't," she assured her. It wouldn’t do to wound their barely-established relationship with misunderstandings. Scootching slightly toward Winter, she shuffled off her own jacket, tossing it to one side. Then started to undo one or two buttons to give Winter more of a view. "Like I said… I'm just so pent up you were about to make me lose my cool. So I'd rather you do that here, in private."

Now that she had been reassured, it seemed Winter wasn't above more teasing. As she watched the buttons open, she muttered, "Didn't want to let on to your big sister that you were all hot and bothered? I can imagine…"

It was certainly helping the situation, making her growl with desire as she felt deep heat brewing between her legs. But that need was becoming more of a priority than any small talk. It had been too long; not only had she enjoyed no sexual contact with Penny since that time in the car, but she had felt no motivation to take care of her urges on her own. But now that they were back with a passion, all she could do was look her dead in the eye.

"Quit teasing me and make me scream already."

As Winter's smile slowly began to fade, she reached over and grasped Ruby, pulling her across the space to lay atop her. A shoe clattered to the floor while she ran her hands up and down her sides, over her hindquarters.

"Ruby, I missed you so fucking much," she growled needily, past the point of caring how it sounded. Her hands were already gouging into the backs of the girl's thighs, digging in as they worked their way closer to her centre.

Several shaky gasps fell from from the younger woman’s lips. Still wearing an elated smile, instinct was already starting to take over. No longer did she care about their sub or Dom roles; this time, it was a case of doing whatever each of them wanted, trusting their intuition. Already Ruby felt her hips pushing forward against Winter's needily, desperate to get anything she could of her and push back against those hands in addition. Her arms wrapped around Winter's shoulders, keeping her close as she pressed her forehead against hers.

"I missed you, too." A hand dived into her hair. "I'm so happy you're here."

"I know how we started," Winter began as one hand slid around Ruby's hip to begin hiking up her skirt, to rub against her through the thin material of her underwear. "But now it's so much more than just training you. I… I have thought about you every single day since the last time we saw each other!"

"Nhhh! God, I'm so glad I'm not the only one!" Already she was so warm – and all over! No doubt Winter would be able to feel just how wet she had been, it was soaking her undies already. Looking her dead in he eye, she whispered, "So what are you waiting for? Fuck me." And without hesitating any longer, she crashed her lips up against Winter's.

As she kissed back, harder than ever before, Winter wasted no time. Ordinarily, her hands would have been doing a thousand things, taunting flesh and ghosting up thighs. In this instance, she jerked the crotch of Ruby's soft cotton panties aside and began to rub up and down her dripping folds, fingers moving with practiced ease.

Finally, Ruby could do just as she wanted to in the presence of everyone in that room. And she didn't hold back, moaning contentedly into their kiss as she continued to thrust her hips forward into the slender fingers. Even if she was glad they could do as they wanted, Ruby was able to come up with one downside to their impromptu session: they didn't have an artillery of Winter's wonderful toys to use. If only they had somehow anticipated this reconciliation.

Not that she was complaining. Slender fingers would be able to bring her to just as satisfying a finish. She knew that deep down. And she was so desperate for it she couldn't hold back any of the needy thrusts.

Clearly, the girl was ready for more. Not wanting to be conspicuously gone any longer than they had to be, she plunged her middle finger straight into Ruby, curling in with great relish as her tongue began to do the same with the beautiful mouth atop her own.

"HMMMHH!"

What a loud and needy sound that fell into Winter's mouth. Yesss, that’s the spot right there, Ruby thought. She continued to push herself forward against Winter's hand while she worked at that sensitive spot inside, feeling the slender and thin finger buried inside her. But one wasn't enough. Oh no. To be truly satisfied, she needed more than that. Ruby’s hand dove down toward where Winter was working and tapping at one of her other fingers with hers lightly. Just enough to give an undoubtable hint.

But it seemed that even now, Winter couldn't be satisfied with doing this the usual way. Pausing their kiss, she panted, "You want another? Go ahead. Add another." As she said this, she switched from middle to index, pushing the rest of her hand as far out of Ruby's way as she could manage.

Trying to keep her volume down by habit, she looked down at Winter wide eyed. That wasn't something she had heard of before; born of them working together to push her to orgasm. But the way Winter was so casual about it excited her so much! It was worth a try. Holding her hand right beside Winter's, she pushed a finger inside, trusting Winter to follow.

She did, keeping pace with the entry. Of course, it wasn't quite so easy to pull off as only one of them using two fingers, but it turned out to be just doable. Having two hands in such an area forced Ruby's legs further apart, but she was young and flexible; it wasn't impossible.

"Oooh," Winter cooed as she felt a foreign digit sliding over her own, both of them buried deep in the waiting sex. "How does that feel?"

For some reason, this made Ruby shudder even more. It was one thing not to be fully in control, it was another to hand it completely over. But to share? How many times has Winter done this with others, she wondered… "S-so good…" she breathed needily, even pushing herself up against the hands right at her welcoming warmth, trying to welcome them further in.

"Yeah?" Panting heatedly, she began to move her finger at the same time as Ruby's - but she couldn't quite get the rhythm. That seemed to make her partner undulate and buck even more than she would have done under ordinary circumstances. "Mmm, you look like you're losing yourself in it… I hope it's in the best of ways."

"Nnhhhh, yeah, it d-definitely is," she assured her, holding still for a moment as she tried to sync herself up with Winter's hand. Each time it wasn't quite matched, she shuddered a little more, even squealed on top of things on occasion. She could feel her toes beginning to curl in her shoes already. Why didn't she get off inside? It would have made things more of a challenge, at least.

Winter's lips found their way to Ruby's neck as she felt her began to buck atop her, as she tried to curl at the same speed. She was also just able to get her thumb right up against her clit as she did so, hoping the slight friction from their movements would be enough to help send her into the stratosphere sooner rather than later.

Continuing to buck and twitch as her neck was kissed, the moaning was unfortunately increasing in volume. She couldn't help it one bit, it was such a strange sensation! At times when Winter would curl her finger, Ruby would in another direction, which made her feel her inner walls very slightly stretched out. That was more filling than anything. She could feel her heart beginning to race as she grasped Winter's shirt with her spare hand, and felt the few stray quivers that informed her it wouldn’t be long now.

"C-close… I-I'm close already! F-fuck! What are you doing to me?!"

"Let it happen! Oh God, Ruby - you sound so good!" Winter flexed her finger faster than ever, inwardly loving the feeling of Ruby's sliding over hers; it felt so foreign and new, added an intriguing dimension for her. Clearly, it was doing way more than for the smaller woman atop her. "Cum for me! Cum hard for me, Lady!"

God had she missed that petname. Finally, she was pushed over the edge. When Winter curled her finger one more time, and she did too, she felt them hit that sweet spot just right. That in addition to Winter's play with her clit, and she was done for. Shuddering on top of her, “Lady” moaned one more time as loud as she was able, feeling her inner walls clenching around the digits inside her. She felt her fluids getting out of control again, sprinkling Winter's leg and the seat very slightly.

But they had done it. In the car, at WEISS’S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

"Ohhh, wow," Winter breathed, gazing up at hey affectionately. "I wasn't thinking about your ejaculation problem. But… it's so hot…" Drawing away, she left a light kiss on her lips. "You'll never know how much I missed that these past few months."

For a moment, she just lay on top of Winter's front, gasping for breath and smiling with glee as she gradually came down from her high. That was something she missed for a long while. It felt like a relief to regain waht they had lost. But they were still on the clock. After a minute, she was pulling out her own and Winter's finger so she could descend. "Your turn."

"Oh… oh, that isn't necessary, Ruby," she told her earnestly as she watched the girl sink to the floorboard. "I just wanted to follow through on what I promised at the dinner table. You don't have to…"

But already Ruby was crammed into the footwell of the passenger seat. She still made sure the blanket was covering her up, but she began to brush her hands up and down Winter's thighs needily. While Ruby first needed to get off, she needed Winter as well. She needed to be the one to hear her moan again. Hitching up her skirt with each brush, she smirked.

"But I didn't get to eat yet."

While watching her down there, Winter couldn't help but sigh and smile gently at the face between her knees. After a beat, she whispered to her, "You're the most beautiful woman in the entire world."

"Hmm… Nope!" Without elaborating, she made sure to tuck the blanket over them both to keep the area covered. Anything else, Winter would just have to feel. And first thing was first, she would kiss the insides of her thighs, making her way upward toward her underwear rather quickly. While she knew Winter needed the teasing, they had a limited time-window.

And the elder woman didn't waste any time in allowing her eyes to close, to relax into the gentle motions. She was going to enjoy it, of course, but if she fought against the tiny ripples of pleasure, it would take much longer than if she rode them out.

Lady managed to nudge aside her panties with her nose again. She had a feeling it would be preferred by Winter to do so, as a gentle reminder of their play from before. One that, since Yang mentioned the dog story, was starting to make sense why she enjoyed! She at first delivered a single, small kiss before she opened her mouth wider against the folds, and went in for the kill.

If the kiss had made her sigh, the actions that followed made her moan. Winter's legs raised up to drape over Ruby's back as she opened herself up to more stimulation, more attentions from the ravenous tongue of her lover.

Lover… The title sounded accurate now. Justified. Even the strange things they had put each other through, the worries and the uncertainty, hadn't been enough to stop them from being together. All she wanted was to see that through, to become one with the only person she had ever cared about beyond friendship. To see where things led.

And right now, they were leading further and further toward Winter's finish. That tongue hadn't lost its talent, and lapped at Winter's sex readily and needily. In particular, she focused on the clit, kissing it on occasion over and over again. But she knew to add more. And a hint of that was coming as she parted the lips further with her fingers, the other hand still stroking her inner thigh.

"Ohhh, yes," Winter panted obscenely, pushing a hand into the side of Ruby's head as her back arched very slightly. "Ruby, please - more! It feels so good, I can't help it, I n-need…"

Ruby would absolutely deliver more. Keeping the lips apart, she finally gave her what she craved. Aware it would be awkward for Winter to join her down there, she entered her body with two fingers. In unison with her licking, she pumped in and out of her body with them. All the while she was smirking as she listened to the sound of her new lover.

Her other partner in addition to Penny. It was a dream come true.

The fingers instantly had Winter screaming, curling her stomach as her hungry sex tried to clamp down on them, hold them inside. It hadn't been as long for Winter since she orgasmed, but it being Ruby was enough to get her within a hair's breadth very quickly. Her lips stretched wide and her head fell back completely as she let the feeling wash over her, as a few more good thrusts sent her spinning off into an explosion of pleasure unlike any she had enjoyed in months.

Though it wasn't just the swift orgasm that ended their spontaneous session. It was a small, but sharp knock on the car window. One that made Ruby's head jerk up from under the blanket.

What she saw was a freckle-cheeked ginger smiling in at them. No one else was standing outside her car, luckily enough; only Penny, looking pleased as could be to see her girlfriend. She waved, being that the windows were up and it would probably be hard to hear her through them.

"Holy shit Penny!" Eyes snapping wide open, Ruby was quick to remove her fingers from Winter's body and pull her panties back into place. Even if Penny couldn't hear them, she still waved back, talking nervously. "U-Um… Hi! I… I meant to message you about this!"

"What?" Penny called back. "Hi!"

"Oh shit," Winter was whispering, blinking at the redhead. Even though she was clearly in a good mood, she still felt awkward that there had been no time to discuss things with Penny directly… before such an unfortunate moment!

"U-Um… Uh…" There wasn't any way to talk to Penny without yelling aimlessly in the car ,or finding her keys to start the engine and roll the window down. Even if it wasn't the most convenient of moments, she couldn't let things slide without saying a word. Resigning to it, Ruby opened the door very slightly, just enough so Penny could hear her talk. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean for you to… to walk up and… U-Uh…"

But Penny simply flung the door wide, squatted down and embraced her girlfriend, even having to crane around Winter's leg the way she did. The genuine warmth and affection in the action told Ruby that she wasn't doing it merely for show; she had just missed her that much.

"I love my parents, but I love you, too," she breathed into Ruby's sweat-dampened hair. "So good to be back."

"W-Wha?!" More shocked than anything at first, Ruby looked at Winter with a look of confusion for a moment, until she finally embraced Penny right back, locking her arms around Penny's shoulders. Although about to grasp her, she held back with one of the hands. Penny would not appreciate that on her back!

"Awww, I missed you, too! I'm just so sorry I couldn't tackle hug you or something! This is… is awkward."

Once Ruby said that, her partner drew back with a slight pinkness in her cheeks. From experience, she knew it was more that Penny was embarrassed than that she was "turned on," of course. "Right. Well, I saw you while I was walking up to the house. Luckily, Taiyang and Qrow didn't notice, so I told them I wanted to get something my suitcase." At last, she spared Winter a bashful glance. "Hello."

"G-good to see you," she murmured, her own face redder than either of the other two.

"Still, I did want to talk to you." Drawing back from their embrace, Ruby looked toward the emerald eyes she adored so much. And then to Winter, as well. The two women she loved, both in the same place. And oddly without a single hitch. How lucky she truly was to have them both, even if it was an awkward circumstance.

"Penny, I'm sorry I’ve been such a sad sack the past few months," she told her, partially explaining for her and Winter's benefit, especially with the next line. "It was my fault for not trying to solve this sooner and letting myself mope. Honestly, I don't know how either of you put up with me sometimes…"

Both of them moved to hug her, but Winter held back when she noticed Penny was doing the same. The latter said, "Sorry, you can go first if you want."

"No, it's… Penny, I'm sorry we haven't spoken properly about this before now." Her eyes flicked toward Ruby and back. "This is an unusual situation, but not unheard of. But clearly we both care very much about Ruby. So… well, it's her decision in the end, but it seems only honest for me to ask you directly, as well. Are you sure you don’t mind? Since you and she had the pre-existing relationship."

"And please don't make a choice solely because of me," Ruby insisted, making sure Penny was looking at her while she said it. Stroking her arm gently, she went on, "Because I want you to be happy, too. I need you to be happy. I don't want you to agree with this but be hating every moment of it."

"But I'm fine." When Ruby only kept looking at her in concern, she sighed and petted her neck. "Okay… I was upset when you first told me you wanted to start going to the club and trying things with other people. But not with you. I… was more frustrated with myself for not being enough for you. For not being wired the way that most people are and not being able to give you everything."

"But you give me everything I need!" She quickly took her hand – and then in addition, took Winter's. She simply made sure Winter's was the hand they'd been doing things with, just so it didn't disturb Penny. "You both do! I don't need sex at the end of the day. It's just… fun! Like going for a walk, or to a convention, it's not a need, it's… almost a hobby! What I need is what you both give me. Love and care, and good times. And that's what I have from you both. And I love you both for it!"

After a moment, Penny smiled and told her in a gentle voice, "I know. I got over that frustration pretty quickly; it was an emotional knee-jerk response. You being happy is a lot more important, and once I realized that you would be, and it wouldn't 'cost' me anything, the rest was pretty easy to process."

"You really don't mind?" Winter asked her, voice steady despite her obvious fear. "One hundred percent sure?"

"Not at all. You have treated Ruby well; even in the story she told me about your argument, I could tell you were very distressed about what she had done and who she had done it in front of. She never said you hit her, or called her a bad person; you were just upset and trying to handle those new feelings. And other than that one incident, she has never had a bad thing to say about you."

"And I kinda blamed myself more, anyway…" Ruby began to sit upright, adjusting her position for ease of movement for Winter. "Anyway… I guess we better head back inside. They'll be wondering where we are."

"Not just yet," Penny said. "Winter, come here a moment."

Bewildered, the taller woman leaned down, taking the moment to right her seat as she did so. It was going to squeeze Ruby a bit, but she was small enough so that she could still easily extract herself. "Yes? Oh!"

"I love you," Penny told her gently as she embraced her. "I have never hated or resented you. What you can do for Ruby is very important because she's important to me. So I don't want you worrying about me; I know you're going to keep treating her well, so I have no reason to be worried, either."

Smiling gratefully, Ruby looked back and forth between both her girlfriends. This was all she could ask for; her two favourite people being okay with one another's company. It would certainly make things easier. Giggling to herself, she suggested, "Maybe one day we can all have a cuddle pile. We’ll need a bigger bed, of course."

"You're welcome to move in with me," Winter told them easily. "Either to all sleep in the same bed, or I could convert my office. But I'm sure you'd rather have your own apartment."

"That would be preferable to me. Not saying we couldn't sleep over at your place." Penny drew back from the hug so she could lay one of her hands on Ruby's shoulder, even as the other remained on Winter's back. "On evenings when you two don't want to have sex, of course; I wouldn't want you worrying about what I'm going to do with myself while you do."

"Well first we'll need to tell dad." Finally getting out from the small space, Ruby took the blanket to finally clean her hand, passing it over to Winter for her to do the same once Penny had let go. "He'll probably be all weepy that his kids have finally left, but he'll help us move."

"Very true." Then Penny beamed at her, cheeks bunching. "Ohh, I'm so happy - you look so much more like yourself than you have the past months!"

Penny threw both arms around her and went in for a big, affectionate kiss. She kissed back gratefully, allowing a moment to open her mouth a little wider to kiss deeper. "MMM!" She suddenly pulled back before Penny went too far, laughing nervously. "That… uh… that’s not a good idea right now. W-we just…"

But the ginger was already smacking her lips in vague confusion. "Oh… right, now I remember what you were doing before I knocked. Well… I guess that's my fault for forgetting, isn't it?" Her cheeks were getting rosier, but her smile was no less satisfied at their circumstances. "Um… I hope she doesn't mind."

"Me?" Winter asked, smiling herself now. Even though it was odd knowing her essence was on this more-or-less stranger’s tongue now, it wasn’t exactly the first time that had happened. "No, not at all! Why should I mind? I just- well, if you're asexual, I didn't… that wouldn't have been something I wanted to happen. But if you're not upset about it, why should I be?"

"You don't taste that different from Ruby, really. No need to be worried." Then she turned back to Ruby and made an even bigger show of kissing her right on the mouth. "It's who I'm kissing that's important, not where their mouth has been. Unless it’s on someone who has been sick, because I don’t want to catch their germs."

Blushing rather deeply, Ruby smiled back at Penny bashfully. She always was able to leave her a giddy mess, even if it was through flattery.

But worried that they really would be missed if they stayed any longer, she finally made an effort to unfold herself from the car, soon followed by Winter. Penny and Ruby headed inside first to avoid suspicion. At least this way, she had the excuse that she was waiting for her when she left to go to the bathroom. Then a few minutes later came Winter, who had “just finished her business”. Yang slid Penny her diet-specific food, along with a few sandwiches and snacks for Ruby and Winter before Qrow and Taiyang could stuff their faces.

"Goodness, Winter, that took forever," Weiss observed from where she was showing one of the women from Fènleng's daycare a photo album. "Business or pleasure?"

"A little of both," she hedged. "How's the party going? Did you get everything you wanted?"

"I did! Thank you for the music box, I didn't know they sold them with any of my songs."

At that, Winter had to smile. "They don't; it was a custom job." God bless Etsy. When Weiss broke away from the other woman to give her a hug, she laughed and hugged back. "Happy birthday."

Smiling contentedly at them, Ruby mostly stood by Penny or hung back by herself, with the main people she knew all busy talking to other party guests. Still, it was the happiest she had felt in months. As she watched her lovers spending time with friends and family, she relaxed back against the wall with her punch. Everything was copacetic.

Until a hand landed on her shoulder. "Hey there, Red."

Nearly jumping out of her skin, Ruby looked straight around to the source. "U-uncle Qrow! Sorry, I forgot you were coming!"

Her uncle laughed confidently, lowering his hand as he stood to one side of her, also leaning back against the wall. "Yeah, Yang sorta insisted. And I kinda needed the day out. It's nice to see the inside of somewhere other than the same old same-old."

"Yeah. I can imagine…" Unable to help it, Ruby was already growing nervous again. She hadn't even discussed anything with Qrow since finding out his living situation – and more. She was too afraid to in case it made things awkward, and lead to awkward questions. But that wasn't helping here at all when she realised she had nothing to say.

But Qrow beat her to it. "So, you and Snowbird sorted things out yet?" When Ruby blinked up in surprise at him, Qrow cut her off before she could speak. "Yeah, I know. Not only did she talk about it, but I saw a beady li’l eye watch me head to my room. You've never been the sneakiest of kids, Ruby."

"Great," the redhead muttered in embarrassment. While looking down at the floor instead however, she did add, "But yes… we talked it out. A-and… it went really well. Everything’s cool."

"Good to hear." Taking a sip of his drink, he sighed easily. Never was one to have ruffled feathers. "Maybe this means she'll be less gloomy. I mean, I tried to cheer her up, but there was only so much I could do."

"Please don't tell me how." Closing her eyes tightly, she tried to push the mental image of her other girlfriend with her uncle back out of her mind. Nobody needed that in their life. "I-I know it was selfish of me… to get mad over such a dumb reason. I think it's because you're more or less a second dad to me."

"You got that right," he laughed. "But, yeah, I wouldn't wanna imagine my pa doing anything with my girl, either. And I guess that's what first came to mind for ya." Though after a while, he cleared his throat, looking with a contented smile toward her. "I really am happy for you both, though. Winter's a special gal, anyone could tell you that. And I can't think of a better match for her than you."

"Qrow…" Against her will, she could feel her eyes beginning to well up. She had expected the conversation to be awkward with him, especially since he clearly enjoyed Winter's company as well. Managing to hold them back, she nodded. "Thank you… I just hope I can do right by her and Penny. Gonna be interesting figuring it all out."

"Kid, you get two birthdays and two Christmas presents now. But I guess that goes both ways." Giving a small pat on her shoulder, he smirked. "Say bye bye to your money."

"Ah, but Ruby is my sub," Winter muttered as she snuck up behind them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Typically, I'll be buying her the gifts. And Qrow has seen the one you gave me hanging up in my 'special' closet."

"The one I-" Although immediately her eyes opened wide when she realised what that was, Qrow could only laugh at her reaction. “You put that on your wall?! But it was just a doodle!”

He mussed her hair slightly. "Don't look so shocked! When I first saw it, I thought she had it done by a professional. Had no idea it was you, squirt!"

Smiling gently, Winter leaned a little closer to Ruby, but still spoke in a tone they could both hear. "All teasing aside, it’s one of my favourite things. You’re really talented and I hope you keep it up."

Then, so quickly that none of the other guests would spot it, she left a tiny kiss behind Ruby's ear. But of course one did, and rolled his eyes. "God, you two, get a room. I'm gonna hang out with Tai and Jacques, see how they're getting along. Grumpy Old Men sequel over there. Take it easy."

And finally he left them on their own. Probably for the best, seeing as the smaller sub's cheeks were glowing red with their typical embarrassment. A side effect of all the affection she would have to get used to. The moment Qrow was well out of earshot, along with the rest of the party, Winter changed the subject.

"You're mine again. We'll have to think of some new fun things to do with you. How about… next time I take you for a walk at the Clamp, we see about slipping a pair of vibrating panties under your suit? Wouldn't that be fun?"

The blush only intensified even more at that idea. The walk alone was enough to do that! "Maybe…" She swallowed nervously. "It'd certainly be… interesting."

"Maybe we'll both wear a pair." Another furtive glance, and she ghosted a hand over Ruby's hind end. "The car was a preview of… coming attractions. There's a lot more in your future."

And with even more of a red blush, Ruby was beginning to sink further and further down the wall in embarrassment. She would be quite a sight for the rest of the evening, but didn't wish for anything else.

"I hope I can get used to this again…"

"Get used to what?" Penny asked as she walked up to them, sliding her hands around Ruby's waist and kissing her gently on the cheek. The action pushed Ruby's behind into Winter's hand again, which squeezed it very slightly.

Lady couldn't wish for anything more under the stars than surviving the embrace and love of her two favourite women. But clearly, history had proven she wasn't afraid to try.

                = End =

                = Stay Tuned for White Noise: Sister Midnight =

[lost-forest-heart]

No one:

No one at all:

Me: *gets sappy over very tiny details in the writing in musicals and how characters who are each other's foils interact and envy and idolize and hate and admire each other all at once, forever believing the other to be the better man and hating each other for it until it is their undoing, and how, in another life, in another time, theirs could've been the kind of friendship that made mountains shake if they'd been able to put their differences aside* Ahem, anyways!

[darkstarofchaos]

Status Update: 12/19/18

Me: Ooo! Transformers comic! My brain: No. Bad. You can't read a series out of order. Me: It says one shot right on the cover! My brain: It's still part of a series. You'll have no idea what's going on. Me: Then I'll have to track down more! My brain: You do know the series ends in misery. Me: Then I won't read the end. My brain: ... Me: ... Me: I could write a better ending anyway. Unicron is stupid. My brain: You don't need more plot bunnies. Me: I NEED ALL THE PLOT BUNNIES AND MUST FIX ALL THE THINGS.

Ahem. But in seriousness, guess who visited a comic shop yesterday. ;) They actually had the entire Unicron miniseries and some of the late Lost Light issues too, but... Well, who wants to begin reading at the point where all the characters die?

I did also get this, though:

I’ll be honest, I only grabbed it off the shelf because it has Trixie on the cover and she’s my favorite pony outside the Mane 6 (not to mention one half of exactly two ships I sail after more than 7 seasons of watching. And for those who care enough to want to know, I ship her with Starlight Glimmer). Actually, with Tempest on there, both of the aforementioned ships are represented (my brain decided to ship her with Twilight because of one glance in the movie, so shoot me).

Anyway! Ponies aside, I apologize for being so quiet lately. Between getting sick, NaNoWriMo, work, the holidays, and looking for other work, it’s been a busy couple of months (oh, and getting mad at Tumblr for banning visual NSFW. That was a thing that happened). On the bright side, I cleared Nano for the first time ever, and drafted no fewer than eight chapters for Unleashed in the process! At the moment I don’t know when I’ll have them ready for posting, as I have a lot of editing to do before they’re done - plus some plot points to work out - but my hope is to begin a regular update schedule in January.

In other news, tomorrow marks the first day of Yule, so I thought I would share a few fic recs, songs, and other fun stuff over the next several days. Including a rant about the movie The Notebook, inspired by someone trying to tell me that it’s “a sappy and cute romance” (what do you mean that’s not fun? Rants are always fun!). My plan is to que it all up, but Tumblr hasn’t let me save drafts since they started messing with the site again, so we’ll see if it objects to ques.

And yes, I do plan to leave Tumblr, though not immediately. I’ll be transferring to Pillowfort eventually, and technically have an account there, though I haven’t done anything with it yet. As long as there are people here who want to see my stuff I’ll be around, I suspect. Until I can’t handle it anymore.

I believe that’s all for now, but keep an eye out for the upcoming fun stuff! And seriously, if anyone can suggest a good location to acquire IDW Transformers comics from, drop me a link! Early comics preferred, because as I understand it, things began to... fall apart around the time of Lost Light and Optimus Prime (not to mention I’m currently outlining a story in which Rung appears, and I really prefer to get the base for my characterizations straight from the source material).

[daehwi]

It's so crazy to think that 4 months ago, Jaehwan was just an average kid, being a student, going to church and trying to make some part time job money. He probably just goofed around with friends, did random gigs and partied like any student. And now,(almost suddenly), he has bodyguards, he's posing for CF's, living with 10 other idols, dealing with an enormous amount of fan support, having cameras in front of him all day, dieting (-_-) and so much more! What a 180 on his everyday life right?!

It does seem like such a sudden turn around, but I think Jaehwan sort of has the mentality of really committing himself to things so that might make it easier to handle? I’m not trying to speak for him in anyway because I don’t know what he thinks or feels but from his past as a trainee and his previous music shows, I get the feeling that he throws himself into things with persistence. And to me, having that much persistence means you have a lot of hope and expectations. I admire that he hasn’t given up at all because, personally for me, having a lot of hope and then having it fall through... i don’t think I could ever do what he has done. (and this applies to a lot of trainees, too- esp. one’s who have been in survival shows in the past or have debuted or have been training for so long.). 

Of course I could be 100% wrong. ekjrlkwerjwel I just wanted to share that perception I have. I do think that as much as you mentally dedicate yourself to something it’s still probably a shock for it to actually happen. I always think back to the scenes of him questioning if it’s really him when he got called and how all those years of training and things falling through and picking himself up and joining show after show always carries with it a sense of “this could be the end” but this time it wasn’t the end- or, it was the end but in the best way possible. 

I’m very happy for Jaehwan. It makes me so sappy when I see his fansite Moving On’s pictures, because they’ve been supporting Jaehwan since 2014 when he was a trainee (sort of- he had Shelrock but I don’t think they ever officially debuted). I feel like I empathize a lot with Moving On and other fans like them because it must feel so so so validating to see someone you’ve followed for so long finally get recognition (and obv. in my case it’s nu’est ;__; ). Actually, this may be one of the reasons why I feel so attached to Jaehwan. jkhkk

I’m not trying to say that he’s the only trainee to ever struggle or have had things not work out for them, though! And there are lots of other trainees that I’ve also grown really attached to for similar reasons (ahem Ponyo). Idk what it is about Jaehwan tbh, but aside from nu’est (and esp. 2hyun) i’ve never let myself be as invested in someone like this. I’m probably just over thinking again kjrlwe. 

ahhhh this got so long!!! I have a lot of feelings about him and they’re all sappy and lame. :’)

[ouraidengray4]

What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class

"He ain't this big at home," the woman seated next to me joked, referring to her XL dildo—an item that was actually listed as a workshop requirement.

In New York, there's a class for just about anything you could ever want to learn to do, and getting better at giving head is no exception. On a recent Saturday afternoon, I sat alongside 30 or so other women in a small room in midtown Manhattan, all gathered together in the name of upping our oral sex game. For the next two and a half hours, we'd go through a class agenda that included a section on deep throating, how to put a condom on using only your mouth, and 50 or so techniques to use when going down on a guy, from starter moves to "finishers."

Why was I doing this, anyway?

I've been single for the past five years, and as such, my sex life has been… sporadic, at best. Ironically, writing about sex has been my side hustle for almost that entire time, but let me tell you, coming up with a roundup of quickie sex positions is vastly different from actually putting that knowledge to use—especially when you're not getting any kind of practice in on the regular.

EDITOR'S PICK

I hadn't felt confident about myself sexually in a long time—to the point that whenever the opportunity did present itself, I couldn't really enjoy it. I was so in my head about being sexually out of shape that nothing felt good.

But the big reason I was choosing to sit with a freshly acquired dildo in one hand, pen in the other, ready to take copious notes: I had just started sleeping with a close guy friend of mine.

Stick with me, here; I promise it won't get sappy. This is a story about blow jobs—not happy endings.

For the past few years, the majority of people I've slept with have been acquaintances at best—men I wasn't really invested in. Don't get me wrong, I still put in an effort. But knowing the chances of ever seeing them again were slim did take some of the pressure off.

Sleeping with a friend comes with higher stakes. Aside from worrying about risking our friendship or, at the very least, making things weird, my main concern was that I really wanted it to be good. Also, we'd talked about potentially going down this road for so long that it'd be a pretty big letdown for both of us if it wasn't.

I figured that if this were any other area of my life where I didn't feel prepared for something, I'd find a way to practice until I got it right… or even take a class in it. So, in an effort to learn how to have better sex—back to school I went.

Getting started

After some surprisingly light research (read: Googling "blow job class NYC"), I came across StripXpertease, a female-run company that offers confidence-boosting classes that run the gamut from pole dancing to fellatio. After I forked over $45 dollars to sign up (can you really put a price on a good education?), I received an email with a list of details about what to bring (a dildo, flavored lube, and condoms) and what to expect.

"You will be putting that cucumber/dildo in your mouth," the email read. "Sucking it, licking it, and most likely gagging on it. Yes, seriously. Yes, everyone."

Our instructor kicked off our class with a short speech on the importance of communicating with your partner. The main message: It's critical to get on the same page with them, about what they like and don't like to have done to their dick. This is better than trial and error and will save you both some time.

After the pep talk, we moved on to a lube 101 section, testing out different types of formulas on our hands, and learning which each one works best for. Contrary to all the porn BJs I've seen, it turns out that flavored lube is a more effective and delicious way to give head than continually hacking up wads of spit to keep things running smoothly.

I was learning new things already.

Learning new tricks

After we got familiar with lube, we suction-cupped our dildos to the table and rubbed them down with our formula of choice. Our instructor asked each of us to grab a flavored condom and showed us how to wedge it in our mouths so that our teeth were holding on to the tip of it. We watched in awe as she went down on her own dildo, took a deep inhale and basically suctioned the entire condom down the base of it using only her lips.

Picturing myself performing this for my guy friend, I knew it'd be the trick I needed to make me feel back on top of my game. I spent the next 10 minutes struggling to nail it, choking on my dildo once, and losing the condom near the back of my throat at one point.

I guess this would have to be homework.

Opposing directions

"If it were up to me, this class would be on just one technique: opposing directions," our instructor told us.

We had been given a list of hand job and blow job movements and techniques to practice—ranging from starter moves meant to get things going, moves to do toward the middle, and techniques to finish him off. As we were practicing on our dildos, there was a common theme—creating one motion with your hand, mouth, or tongue while going the opposite direction with whatever you had free.

A major takeaway I had from this portion of class was that I had been underutilizing my hands in the whole blow job process. I'd usually rely on my mouth to do all the work—which would end up making my jaw tired and my blow job lackluster. Our instructor also had a solve for this: using your hips to do the back and forth motion instead of your jaw while you're on your knees.

The class concluded with a deep throating section, where I watched our instructor disappear an entire dildo into the back of her throat in one fell swoop. I did not come even close to mastering this—but I did appreciate the very visual reminder that with enough practice, anything is possible.

Putting it to use

The afternoon before I had plans to see my guy friend, I spent an hour and a half with my dildo and class worksheet. I chose a starter move, mid-move, and finisher to focus on, and proceeded to have at it. Once I felt good about those three moves, I attempted my, ahem, magnum opus: the condom trick. It was slow going at first—I'd either get it not far enough down the shaft or so far down that I'd gag. But the moment that I got it right—and could duplicate it without error—I felt like I was back in the game.

Translating my new skills from dildo to dick was surprisingly seamless. I had gotten so used to grabbing for what I needed (lube, condoms, a paper towel to wipe my dribbling saliva with) that doing it in front of my friend didn't phase me. I could see a different (better) reaction from him (opposing directions for the win!) this time around. But the look on his face when I pulled off the condom trick on the first try made the blow job workshop and hours of practice I had put in entirely worth it.

Also, it was fun—something I had kind of forgotten sex was supposed to be up until that moment.

Danielle Page is an editor, freelance writer, and self-proclaimed cat connoisseur. She lives in Astoria with her black cat, Nightmare. You can read other things she's written by visiting her poorly maintained portfolio or just stalk her on Twitter @TheDaniellePage.

from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2Gvffdx What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ https://ift.tt/2IxI3rW

[foursprouthealth-blog]

What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/what-they-actually-teach-you-in-a-sex-class/

What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class

“He ain’t this big at home,” the woman seated next to me joked, referring to her XL dildo—an item that was actually listed as a workshop requirement.

In New York, there’s a class for just about anything you could ever want to learn to do, and getting better at giving head is no exception. On a recent Saturday afternoon, I sat alongside 30 or so other women in a small room in midtown Manhattan, all gathered together in the name of upping our oral sex game. For the next two and a half hours, we’d go through a class agenda that included a section on deep throating, how to put a condom on using only your mouth, and 50 or so techniques to use when going down on a guy, from starter moves to “finishers.”

Why was I doing this, anyway?

I’ve been single for the past five years, and as such, my sex life has been… sporadic, at best. Ironically, writing about sex has been my side hustle for almost that entire time, but let me tell you, coming up with a roundup of quickie sex positions is vastly different from actually putting that knowledge to use—especially when you’re not getting any kind of practice in on the regular.

EDITOR’S PICK

displayTitle

I hadn’t felt confident about myself sexually in a long time—to the point that whenever the opportunity did present itself, I couldn’t really enjoy it. I was so in my head about being sexually out of shape that nothing felt good.

But the big reason I was choosing to sit with a freshly acquired dildo in one hand, pen in the other, ready to take copious notes: I had just started sleeping with a close guy friend of mine.

Stick with me, here; I promise it won’t get sappy. This is a story about blow jobs—not happy endings.

For the past few years, the majority of people I’ve slept with have been acquaintances at best—men I wasn’t really invested in. Don’t get me wrong, I still put in an effort. But knowing the chances of ever seeing them again were slim did take some of the pressure off.

Sleeping with a friend comes with higher stakes. Aside from worrying about risking our friendship or, at the very least, making things weird, my main concern was that I really wanted it to be good. Also, we’d talked about potentially going down this road for so long that it’d be a pretty big letdown for both of us if it wasn’t.

I figured that if this were any other area of my life where I didn’t feel prepared for something, I’d find a way to practice until I got it right… or even take a class in it. So, in an effort to learn how to have better sex—back to school I went.

Getting started

After some surprisingly light research (read: Googling “blow job class NYC”), I came across StripXpertease, a female-run company that offers confidence-boosting classes that run the gamut from pole dancing to fellatio. After I forked over $45 dollars to sign up (can you really put a price on a good education?), I received an email with a list of details about what to bring (a dildo, flavored lube, and condoms) and what to expect.

“You will be putting that cucumber/dildo in your mouth,” the email read. “Sucking it, licking it, and most likely gagging on it. Yes, seriously. Yes, everyone.”

Our instructor kicked off our class with a short speech on the importance of communicating with your partner. The main message: It’s critical to get on the same page with them, about what they like and don’t like to have done to their dick. This is better than trial and error and will save you both some time.

After the pep talk, we moved on to a lube 101 section, testing out different types of formulas on our hands, and learning which each one works best for. Contrary to all the porn BJs I’ve seen, it turns out that flavored lube is a more effective and delicious way to give head than continually hacking up wads of spit to keep things running smoothly.

I was learning new things already.

Learning new tricks

After we got familiar with lube, we suction-cupped our dildos to the table and rubbed them down with our formula of choice. Our instructor asked each of us to grab a flavored condom and showed us how to wedge it in our mouths so that our teeth were holding on to the tip of it. We watched in awe as she went down on her own dildo, took a deep inhale and basically suctioned the entire condom down the base of it using only her lips.

Picturing myself performing this for my guy friend, I knew it’d be the trick I needed to make me feel back on top of my game. I spent the next 10 minutes struggling to nail it, choking on my dildo once, and losing the condom near the back of my throat at one point.

I guess this would have to be homework.

Opposing directions

“If it were up to me, this class would be on just one technique: opposing directions,” our instructor told us.

We had been given a list of hand job and blow job movements and techniques to practice—ranging from starter moves meant to get things going, moves to do toward the middle, and techniques to finish him off. As we were practicing on our dildos, there was a common theme—creating one motion with your hand, mouth, or tongue while going the opposite direction with whatever you had free.

A major takeaway I had from this portion of class was that I had been underutilizing my hands in the whole blow job process. I’d usually rely on my mouth to do all the work—which would end up making my jaw tired and my blow job lackluster. Our instructor also had a solve for this: using your hips to do the back and forth motion instead of your jaw while you’re on your knees.

The class concluded with a deep throating section, where I watched our instructor disappear an entire dildo into the back of her throat in one fell swoop. I did not come even close to mastering this—but I did appreciate the very visual reminder that with enough practice, anything is possible.

Putting it to use

The afternoon before I had plans to see my guy friend, I spent an hour and a half with my dildo and class worksheet. I chose a starter move, mid-move, and finisher to focus on, and proceeded to have at it. Once I felt good about those three moves, I attempted my, ahem, magnum opus: the condom trick. It was slow going at first—I’d either get it not far enough down the shaft or so far down that I’d gag. But the moment that I got it right—and could duplicate it without error—I felt like I was back in the game.

Translating my new skills from dildo to dick was surprisingly seamless. I had gotten so used to grabbing for what I needed (lube, condoms, a paper towel to wipe my dribbling saliva with) that doing it in front of my friend didn’t phase me. I could see a different (better) reaction from him (opposing directions for the win!) this time around. But the look on his face when I pulled off the condom trick on the first try made the blow job workshop and hours of practice I had put in entirely worth it.

Also, it was fun—something I had kind of forgotten sex was supposed to be up until that moment.

Danielle Page is an editor, freelance writer, and self-proclaimed cat connoisseur. She lives in Astoria with her black cat, Nightmare. You can read other things she’s written by visiting her poorly maintained portfolio or just stalk her on Twitter @TheDaniellePage.

[foursprout-blog]

What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/health/what-they-actually-teach-you-in-a-sex-class/

What They Actually Teach You in a Sex Class

“He ain’t this big at home,” the woman seated next to me joked, referring to her XL dildo—an item that was actually listed as a workshop requirement.

In New York, there’s a class for just about anything you could ever want to learn to do, and getting better at giving head is no exception. On a recent Saturday afternoon, I sat alongside 30 or so other women in a small room in midtown Manhattan, all gathered together in the name of upping our oral sex game. For the next two and a half hours, we’d go through a class agenda that included a section on deep throating, how to put a condom on using only your mouth, and 50 or so techniques to use when going down on a guy, from starter moves to “finishers.”

Why was I doing this, anyway?

I’ve been single for the past five years, and as such, my sex life has been… sporadic, at best. Ironically, writing about sex has been my side hustle for almost that entire time, but let me tell you, coming up with a roundup of quickie sex positions is vastly different from actually putting that knowledge to use—especially when you’re not getting any kind of practice in on the regular.

EDITOR’S PICK

displayTitle

I hadn’t felt confident about myself sexually in a long time—to the point that whenever the opportunity did present itself, I couldn’t really enjoy it. I was so in my head about being sexually out of shape that nothing felt good.

But the big reason I was choosing to sit with a freshly acquired dildo in one hand, pen in the other, ready to take copious notes: I had just started sleeping with a close guy friend of mine.

Stick with me, here; I promise it won’t get sappy. This is a story about blow jobs—not happy endings.

For the past few years, the majority of people I’ve slept with have been acquaintances at best—men I wasn’t really invested in. Don’t get me wrong, I still put in an effort. But knowing the chances of ever seeing them again were slim did take some of the pressure off.

Sleeping with a friend comes with higher stakes. Aside from worrying about risking our friendship or, at the very least, making things weird, my main concern was that I really wanted it to be good. Also, we’d talked about potentially going down this road for so long that it’d be a pretty big letdown for both of us if it wasn’t.

I figured that if this were any other area of my life where I didn’t feel prepared for something, I’d find a way to practice until I got it right… or even take a class in it. So, in an effort to learn how to have better sex—back to school I went.

Getting started

After some surprisingly light research (read: Googling “blow job class NYC”), I came across StripXpertease, a female-run company that offers confidence-boosting classes that run the gamut from pole dancing to fellatio. After I forked over $45 dollars to sign up (can you really put a price on a good education?), I received an email with a list of details about what to bring (a dildo, flavored lube, and condoms) and what to expect.

“You will be putting that cucumber/dildo in your mouth,” the email read. “Sucking it, licking it, and most likely gagging on it. Yes, seriously. Yes, everyone.”

Our instructor kicked off our class with a short speech on the importance of communicating with your partner. The main message: It’s critical to get on the same page with them, about what they like and don’t like to have done to their dick. This is better than trial and error and will save you both some time.

After the pep talk, we moved on to a lube 101 section, testing out different types of formulas on our hands, and learning which each one works best for. Contrary to all the porn BJs I’ve seen, it turns out that flavored lube is a more effective and delicious way to give head than continually hacking up wads of spit to keep things running smoothly.

I was learning new things already.

Learning new tricks

After we got familiar with lube, we suction-cupped our dildos to the table and rubbed them down with our formula of choice. Our instructor asked each of us to grab a flavored condom and showed us how to wedge it in our mouths so that our teeth were holding on to the tip of it. We watched in awe as she went down on her own dildo, took a deep inhale and basically suctioned the entire condom down the base of it using only her lips.

Picturing myself performing this for my guy friend, I knew it’d be the trick I needed to make me feel back on top of my game. I spent the next 10 minutes struggling to nail it, choking on my dildo once, and losing the condom near the back of my throat at one point.

I guess this would have to be homework.

Opposing directions

“If it were up to me, this class would be on just one technique: opposing directions,” our instructor told us.

We had been given a list of hand job and blow job movements and techniques to practice—ranging from starter moves meant to get things going, moves to do toward the middle, and techniques to finish him off. As we were practicing on our dildos, there was a common theme—creating one motion with your hand, mouth, or tongue while going the opposite direction with whatever you had free.

A major takeaway I had from this portion of class was that I had been underutilizing my hands in the whole blow job process. I’d usually rely on my mouth to do all the work—which would end up making my jaw tired and my blow job lackluster. Our instructor also had a solve for this: using your hips to do the back and forth motion instead of your jaw while you’re on your knees.

The class concluded with a deep throating section, where I watched our instructor disappear an entire dildo into the back of her throat in one fell swoop. I did not come even close to mastering this—but I did appreciate the very visual reminder that with enough practice, anything is possible.

Putting it to use

The afternoon before I had plans to see my guy friend, I spent an hour and a half with my dildo and class worksheet. I chose a starter move, mid-move, and finisher to focus on, and proceeded to have at it. Once I felt good about those three moves, I attempted my, ahem, magnum opus: the condom trick. It was slow going at first—I’d either get it not far enough down the shaft or so far down that I’d gag. But the moment that I got it right—and could duplicate it without error—I felt like I was back in the game.

Translating my new skills from dildo to dick was surprisingly seamless. I had gotten so used to grabbing for what I needed (lube, condoms, a paper towel to wipe my dribbling saliva with) that doing it in front of my friend didn’t phase me. I could see a different (better) reaction from him (opposing directions for the win!) this time around. But the look on his face when I pulled off the condom trick on the first try made the blow job workshop and hours of practice I had put in entirely worth it.

Also, it was fun—something I had kind of forgotten sex was supposed to be up until that moment.

Danielle Page is an editor, freelance writer, and self-proclaimed cat connoisseur. She lives in Astoria with her black cat, Nightmare. You can read other things she’s written by visiting her poorly maintained portfolio or just stalk her on Twitter @TheDaniellePage.