#aki angst

[mqnji]

..⠀⠀⠀𝗪𝗢𝗘⠀⠀⠀♡⠀gun fiend!aki

that moment you opened the door and saw him standing there, his back hunched and a horrible posture that made your own back hurt. it was a silent moment between you two, at first you couldn’t tell who it was until you saw the ring on the tie. he stood there, saying nothing, just breathing heavily. your eyes meet the end of a wide pistol, which caused you to squeal a little. he looked so pale, so…miserable.

“aki what happened to you?” you finally asked hoping to get an answer, but he just stood there. not a single word from him.

he took a step forward, which made you fall back onto the ground. you were frozen

with fear as he bent down, leaning over you. his lips uttered a word, but you couldn’t catch what he said, more like you couldn’t hear what he said.

“( name )....sorry….” he muttered softly. your eyes were looking down at the ground, you were trembling, you were too scared to look him in the eyes, this was not the aki you knew. the aki you loved. aki used his hand to lift your chin up. you were looking at each other. eye to eye. tears were on his face, there was still some of him left in there.

you can hear the rifle cock. you started backing away, fumbling to get up. was he gonna shoot you? you didn’t want to die yet. you were finally able to get on your feet, but your legs were shaking violently, too scared to even lift a toenail because you thought he gonna shoot if you tried to escape but that wasn’t the case at all.

he moved closer towards you. you two were inches apart, face to face with the wide pistol on his head, you think this is finally the end, but that wasn’t it at all. the gun sticking out of his forehead has to make aki tilt his head at a different angle as he locked lips with you. his chappy lips against your soft ones left you wide eyed. maybe aki was still there, hopefully.

“love…you…” he said as the rifle was against your heart. it was beating rapidly, the kiss was absorbing as he steals the air from your lungs. he finally pulls back from the kiss. “sorry…” you were confused. why does he keep apologizing? "so...very sorry..." the last thing you heard was a loud gunshot as your vision suddenly went blurry. you finally knew why.

[sonderessence]

thinin' 'bout you. aki hayakawa x female reader

contains / warnings: maybe a bit suggestive?? kisses! :3

authors note: i had this on my mind and wrote it down so i wouldn't forget it 😭

— now playing . . . she's mine pt.2 by j. cole ( yes, ik this song is about a baby🙄 )

. posted on ... 11 / 24 / 2023

aki couldn't stop thinking about you since he first saw you at the devil hunting agency. you were new; but fearless when it came to fighting, something that made him even more interested in you.

as discrete as he tried to keep his feelings when it came to you, his heart would always flutter when you touched his shoulder; it was such a small habit you carried since meeting him. to tell the truth, as much as aki voiced the fact that he hated physical contact, he couldn't be far from the truth.

aki would lie awake in bed, thinking about your face. god, you were so beautiful to him, just hearing your sweet voice would cause him to melt. he'd wake up in a sweat and curse himself for all the erotic dreams he would have about you-

no...he can't feel this way about anyone. he can't bear to see you cry about him and the stupid things he does that'll get him killed one day.

you'd always fuss at him about smoking.

"y'know, those things cause serious health problems."

"i know."

"so why do you smoke?"

aki smoked to take the pain away. his addiction started a couple years after the death of his family and got worse and worse after himeno's death. he'd drink occasionally, but the strong sent of nicotine entering his lungs easily beat a next day hangover.

one thing aki realized after you two got close, was his smoking habits grew less. just being around you kept him calmer than a death stick could.

the first time you asked to come over to his house he panicked, but of course said yes in a heartbeat. he kicked denji and power out, telling them to 'go to the park, and don't do anything stupid!', so they wouldn't ruin anything else in the house.

when he opened his front door, he saw you with that same warm smile you always had around the agency. no matter how hard things got, you kept that smile.

as you walked into his house, marveling at his small cozy apartment, his eyes mindlessly fell to your ass. that damn skirt you wore...he could kill himself for thinking whatever he was thinking.

aki was a pretty calm guy, but the calm facade died down and ran away when you sat next to him; your leg brushed over his, causing his breath to get caught in his throat.

"you seem nervous hayakawa, what's the matter?"

he didn't answer but kept his eyes fixated on you.

"akiiii" you teased, cupping his face with your soft hands. you noticed a spark in his eyes when you called him by his first name. his eyes met yours and made their way down to your lips.

a soft red tint coated his face, oh how he wanted to kiss you. he'd been waiting for this moment for months; months of avoiding you so he'd forget his feelings towards you, months of sleepless nights because his mind would be clouded with thoughts of you, months of pushing his feelings to the side because he was scared to fall in love.

he couldn't do this.

so he didn't, instead mumbling an incoherent e-excuseme- before running into the nearest bathroom.

was he just a lovesick looser who couldn't dare tell the love of his life how he felt?

a/n: yall know i ate with this one, don't lie 🤭

taglist.

©sonderessence, 2023 — do not steal or copy works, seriously.

[toji-bunny-girl]

CONTENTS— swearing, supa bratty!reader (idk, kinda like powy), dom!aki, kinda ooc aki but wtv 👆👆, tw!Makima, smut, angst, cry baby reader, jealousy, brat taming, spanking, teasing, fingering, orgasm denial FROM @kult-o— Aki Hayakawa with bratty fiend reader A/N— pretty dang short but I’m sleep deprived 🤮🤮 NEWAY girly just opened my third fucking eye with brat tamer aki 👩‍🦽💨💨

“You’re acting like a freaking brat,” Aki mumbled into your ear, large hands grabbing your arm as his weight pushed you against the wall. Clicking your tongue, you tried to buck against his tightening hold—which only ended up futile.

“Get off, bastard!” you huffed, giving up trying to free yourself from him as you turned your head to face the wall, refusing to let him see the prickling tears in your eyes. 

“Makima-san gave you a life here, and yet how could you treat her like that?“ you didn’t need to look at him to know that he’s already got a frown plastered on his face. 

Makima this, Makima that. It’s like she’s the only one on his mind, and you hated the thought of it. You just got tired of how he wags his tail at her as if he’s her dog and was slightly annoyed at them. And now he’s getting all protective over her?

“Fuck you, and fuck Makima! Fuck everyone! I hate my life!” you wailed, letting your tears and jealousy flow out in front of Aki. You don’t even care anymore about acting cool, you just couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“—19!” you choked back your tears as another sharp slap rang in the bedroom, your skin going numb and your body jerking from Aki’s ruthless palm as he strikes yet againonto your reddened skin. There you were over his lap, with your skirt pulled over to reveal your bare and swollen ass while you were made to count your punishments.

“Are you going to apologise to Makima-san tomorrow?” his cool voice contrasted with the burning sting he afflicted onto you, and it’s as if he has no problem giving you such a harsh punishment.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go to her and tell her to suck my dick,” the defiance was still unyielding in you albeit you didn’t want to be punished any longer. But to be reminded with every throb on your skin that you’re in this situation because of her, it does nothing but make you despise Makima even more.

Aki sighed, shifting your weight on his lap while you stared hard at your puddle of tears on the ground. “She’s kind and gentle. So why would you treat her with such disrespect?”

“Well, I don’t get why you like her so much. All you do is bark or fetch whenever she wants you to!” you sobbed, vision beginning to blur with tears again. “When are you going to like me then?”

Silence served in the air before you managed yourself off of Aki’s lap, wobbly legs making themselves towards the door until a sudden pull brought you into his arms.

“Are you saying that I’m Makima-san’s mutt?” his breath tickled your skin as he whispered low against the back of your neck, the cool scent of his filling up your nostrils as the blush on your cheeks grew thick.

His hands found themselves resting on your thigh and another on your tummy, smoothing over the skin where his long fingers could stroke. Shock took over every nerve of your body, making it almost impossible to move while your heart twisted and squeezed in all burning ways.

“Not gonna come back with another snarky remark?” you didn’t need to turn your head to know that there was a smirk on his lips and if it was any other day, any other situation, and a normal you—you would’ve tried anything to wipe that triumphant smile off his face.

After all, what could you do in this circumstance surrounded by his warmth and scent? “Y-You—” you tried to speak but embarrassingly found yourself only capable of stuttering out your words.

Just as you were about the turn your head to glare at him, he suddenly crashed his lips onto you, and all angry fronts fell apart at once. You let him shift your body to straddle him, immersed in the way his plump lips felt and the minty taste of him while his hands wandered over your body.

“Aki…” you moaned his name when your lips parted, the air heavy and hot as you blinked at him through your eyelids, intoxicated from the kiss.

He only sucked the air through his teeth in return, palming your ass from underneath your skirt and smoothing his palm over your skin. His lips trailed up your neck and a shiver slithered along your back as you threw your head back into the air. Slipping off your top, Aki’s breath hit your chest the moment you revealed yourself bare to him, the hair on your skin standing tall before he let his tongue twirl and flick your nipple while his fingers were kept busy rolling your other bud.

“Fuck,” you breathed, locking your hands around his neck. Peering down at him, his gaze caught yours and a blush grew crimson on your cheeks. The man you’ve always liked now pleasuring your body with such expertise centralised on hearing you moan his name from his touch.

Lifting you to have you lay on the bed, Aki’s hand reached between your thighs, rubbing against your panties before his thumb drew slow circles on your clit. Your arms brought him closer to your face by his neck, drawing out moans against his lips before nipping his lower one when his finger quickened.

A soft frown itched itself between your eyebrows when he paused in a sudden, a slight annoyance blooming inside your chest from a missed orgasm. He pulled his body away from you before his hands tugged the waistband of your panties down and off your ankles, his tongue swiping across his lips to wet them as he inhaled the sight of you lying almost naked in front of him.

A spark of lust danced in his dark eyes as he watched the perverted look on your face—hazy eyes blinking up at him with tears still clinging onto your eyelashes and your lips were swollen as the evidence of his kiss.

Moving forward to hover over you, Aki slipped two long fingers of his into you while noting the way you sink your teeth into your bottom lip and chest tugged upwards into the air in a sharp inhale.

“Haah—” you gasped when his digits started moving in and out of you, slowly rubbing over the smooth walls of your cunt and the soft spot deep inside. Your thighs tried to clamp close when his pace fastened after a few long strokes, your sensitivity growing almost too much after his fingers unrelentingly hit your g-spot over again. But you were simply in no match with Aki’s strength when his hand grabbed one of your thighs still, making you capable of only crying and screaming aloud.

“Please, Aki! M’gonna cum!” the sheets was crumpled up in your hands as you arched your back, tears of pleasure prickling at the ends of your eyes as you felt a strong wave of orgasm building up inside your tummy. All you needed was the last push to have it all wash over you, just a little bit more to send your mind blank.

Yet instead of another promised stroke, all you got was the absence of his digits in your needy cunt, dripping and yearning for something. Then as you lifted your head to glance at Aki, all you see was another smirk on his face—

“Bad girls don’t get to cum.”

© toji-bunny-girl― all rights reserved. do not modify, translate, plagiarise or repost my work

[nejiverse]

THE FINAL PIECE

[Hayakawa family series]

This is a combination of this and this request since they're very similar.

cw: mentions of vomiting but not detailed at all, soft soft aki!

689 words

Y/n hadn't been feeling well for a few days now and she didn't have a fever or anything which is what confused both her and Aki.

Said man rubbed smooth circles on her back soothingly as Y/n was sat down on the floor, slouched over the toilet absolutely drained from puking her guts out.

Aki felt so bad, so guilty even though it wasn't necessarily his fault. He thought maybe he put something in his cooking that her stomach didn't like.

He pursed his lips before opening his mouth to speak.

"What can I do for you?", he asked softly. "Anything at all", he added as he helped her up upon her request. She didn't know what to do and neither did Aki.

It was only when swishing water in her mouth, a plausible idea came to mind.

"Now that I think about it, I have a family history of vomiting and fatigue but under a certain condition..", Y/n was a bit hesitant to actually say what she thought was happening. She didn't know how he would react, not that she thought Aki would hate the idea, she was just scared.

"And what condition is that", Aki inquired.

Now she just had to say it. The ravenette noticed how her foot tapped against the tiled floor of the bathroom and how she averted her gaze to the side.

He let out a deep breath and closed what little distance was between them, gently moving his hands up to her shoulders.

"You can tell me", his voiced had never been so silvery. "You know I won't think any different of you", and his eyes..there was a natural soothing quality to them.

Her body calmed down and her brain was no longer working at alarming rates.

"I might be pregnant", she said in a quiet voice.

Aki's eyes brightened in such an endearing manner that it made Y/n's bad thoughts go away. She giggled lightly at this.

"I'll go buy a few tests really quickly", the man jabbered.

Y/n was elated. The thought of having her own child with Aki brought great joy to her heart. They were married, she was 24 which she thought was a reasonable age. Her mother always said to her that feeling a person grow within you and raising them was the greatest privilege and greatest accomplishment one could ever have and she wanted to feel that.

The baby would be a lovely completion to their small family and so when she laid eyes on the two red lines of the first pregnancy test, and the other saying 'pregnant' in bold text, she let out a small yelp.

Aki walked closer to the closed door worryingly. "Y/n? Are you okay—", once he said those words, the woman came out of the bathroom and enveloped Aki in a tight hug, some tears escaping her eyes and soaking into his shirt.

He figured he'd wait till she stopped crying to ask what the test said but when he went to intertwine their fingers together in a way of comforting her, she slipped the test into his hand.

There was a moment where Aki's face washed blank with confusion, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from his widened eyes. Every muscle of his body just froze before a grin crept onto his face, it soon stretched from one side to the other showing his excited expression.

In that moment his arms squeezed a fraction tighter and Y/n breathed more slowly, her body melting into his as every muscle lost its tension to the warm air. This was real.

"Thank you so much love", he muttered into the crook of her neck.

He murmured so much 'thank yous' and 'I love yous' that day, too much for Y/n to even think of counting.

Hayakawa family masterlist :)

A/N: THANK YOU GUYS FOR 1K FOLLOWERS MUAH MUAH

[gojou-violin]

this is enough

| pairing: aki hayakawa x fem bodied!reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI, chainsaw man manga spoilers, sad(?) sex, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, (breeding kink if you know aki and if you squint really hard), bad smut writing from me.

| wc: 3.3k

| a/n: when can i be happy after reading csm?

| taglist: @sintiva (just this once cuz i sent this ask), @aylitgirl

Aki wasn't one to tell others the truth when he was struggling. He liked to bottle it up for the sake of suffering alone so that no one else had to worry about him or be burdened with his own "stupid" problems, especially when it came to the deals he'd made over the years with different devils who wanted this and that from him. Out of everyone you knew, you were sure that you were the only person in his life who knew every detail of what he was enduring.

The Curse Devil was the first to take from him. In exchange for time off his life, Aki could kill his opponents simply by stabbing them three times with the sword he always carried around with him. The first time you met Aki, he had a good twenty years to live... Now, he was close to two years...

The Fox Devil wanted from Aki what he wanted from every human he made contracts with: skin. There were days when Aki would leave the house whole, and when he'd come home that night, he'd have his arm bandaged up because the Fox Devil took the skin from his forearm. Aki always insisted that it was fine, that it was his curse to bear because it was a contract he made willingly; but that didn't change the fact that you forced him to go to the hospital every time in order to receive skin grafts.

The only time you'd ever seen Aki so scared about his future was after he came home to tell you that he made a new contract with the Future Devil who was living in his right eye. It was necessary after the Fox Devil got fed up with him and would no longer come to him even when the situation was dire and Aki was willing to give up everything he had to offer just for the sake of winning his fights-- So your husband had a Devil living in his eye now... Punishment, you supposed, for getting to see seconds into the future whenever Aki needed during battles.

Part of you couldn't understand how he had made all of these deals for the sake of surviving out there while up against all kinds of powerful Devils, yet none of them could save him when it mattered most. Where had his squad been? Where had they allowed this terrible thing to happen to him?

"You have to stop that," Aki whispered from across the table.

You looked over at him with a brow raised, just in time to catch him staring down at your bouncing knee. He always knew when you were overthinking something. It was so obvious by how you'd go quiet after getting lost in thought, and your knee would shake, and your hands would fidget on your lap.

You two were supposed to be on vacation, so why were you thinking about what happened when it was all in the past and nothing could change the outcome, even if you tried your very best. The doctors were good enough. They did their jobs as soon as Aki was taken to the hospital. It could have been worse. You both knew it. He could have been killed like some of his coworkers, or he could have come back in more pieces, or neither of his arms could have been reconnected like one of his friends.

It happened in the middle of the night a week ago. You got a call that Aki was in the hospital after his squad went to fight the Doll Devil who took both of Aki's arms. She snatched them clean off his body without so much as a blink of an eye or an inhale of her breath. It happened in a second, he told you later. One moment they were looking around, the next, he had no arms and was passing out on the ground. When he woke back up, he was in the hospital, you sitting next to him, holding onto his hand, the only one they could reattach after hours of surgery.

"Come here," he continued to whisper. It was like he was scared to disturb the gorgeous night you two were enjoying silently in the dark hotel room that had been gifted to you after he was put on leave due to his injuries.

Aki wanted to get back to work the second he was released from the hospital, however, his superiors denied the request, and to ensure that he stayed away, they sent the two of you to a hotel outside of the city for the weekend where you could relax and he could recover a bit more before actually going back. You knew that there was no stopping him. He was going to go back to work one way another, even if it ended up killing him faster than the Curse Devil promised; even though it would kill you to get a call that he wasn't in the hospital because he had died.

"Baby, come here," he spoke up a bit more to grab your attention.

Without thinking twice, your feet carried you out of your chair and over to him. His lap was warm as he used his one good hand to grab your hip and pull you close until you were straddling him, your faces close his nose bumping yours sweetly. It was cold outside. At some point in the evening you had considered going out to get food at a  nearby restaurant before you looked out the window to see that a snow storm had rolled in, trapping the two of you in the hotel which lost power nearly an hour later. That was alright, though. Aki wanted to spend a quiet night in. He liked watching the snowfall, so you both pulled up chairs to the window to lounge around while you waited for shitty food service to arrive. There wasn’t much the kitchen could make in a power outage, but the pint of ice cream they had to get rid of before it melted served the two of you well for a bit. Once you were done eating, though, that was when your thoughts began to drift, and Aki noticed that something was off.

Did he know how worried you were about him? Did he realize that every time you glanced at his missing arm, your heart wrenched in your chest? When would he finally say “fuck it” and leave that damn Devil Hunter career of his behind just to spend his last few years alive with you, the person who needed him around or nothing seemed right—

“Darling,” he cooed.

You melted into him, wrapping your arms around his neck so that he’d stay close and continue to nudge his nose against your cheek as he left kisses along your jawline.

“It’s okay.”

“I know that.”

He hummed a thought. “It’ll be okay.”

You couldn’t think of any kind of proper response to that because you weren’t sold on the idea that it would actually be alright. He had two years left, if that. How much longer was he willing to suffer? He’d given up his skin, his eye, his entire arm— You couldn’t give him up to the Curse Devil. You couldn’t. That monster would have to go through you before he could ever get to Aki.

“I’m here. I’ve always been here. That’s enough, isn’t it? Being here… Right now… Just the two of us… That’s enough.”

You hid your face in the crook of his neck suddenly as you croaked, “That’s enough…”

He nodded. “Exactly.” He was gently kissing the side of your head until you perked back up again then leaned in to kiss him. “Darling…” he mumbled against your lips.

“You’ve gotta stop scaring me like this. Please.”

His lips hovered over yours as he hesitated to reply. “I’m sorry.”

As he kissed you again, your fingers found the ends of his hair, gently tugging in order to ground yourself in the thought that it was enough, he was right, it was okay, and it would be okay. If Aki was sure that everything would be alright, then it had to be true. Afterall, you were the only person in the world who ever knew what he was really thinking and what he was struggling with. If anything was amiss with him, you’d be the first to know. It was okay. Being with him was enough.

Aki managed to find dominance in your kiss even though he was below you and all he could do was hold onto you with his one hand as you moved ever so slowly and lightly along his lap. A voice in the back of your head was screaming at you to stop because Aki was supposed to be resting; but your body was ahead of reason. Some desperate part of you was taking over. There was an urge tugging at your heart and a coil that was twisting in your stomach because you missed him— Even though he was right there, in your arms— You missed him. You were terrified of the past, you were dreading the future, and your whole body was begging to forget it all by simply being with him as a reminder that he was in fact there, that he was real, that he was okay, and that it was enough to be with him in that hotel room as you waited for the power to turn back on.

“Fuck—” Aki slid his hand around you so that he could palm your ass roughly. “Don’t stop—” He was trying to help you in your endeavor to get both of you off through your bathrobes.

But it couldn’t be helped. Even though he was moaning in your mouth as his hand gripped your ass while he moved you back and forth, you had to hesitate just to tear his robe apart, revealing his growing erection. Another minute or so and he’d be ready—

“Fuck, ‘Ki—” You were caught too off guard by him sliding his hand back along your hip and down to your clit that he found so easily, using his fingers expertly to tease the pearl roughly.

There was a bit of urgency to the way both of you were moving, like you needed to fuck each other in the next few seconds or you’d explode; yet it was all still so gentle, quiet, and oddly romantic. Whenever you and Aki were at home together, back when Denji and Power didn’t live with you, the two of you were worse than rabbits, the way you’d fuck constantly. Aki was the adrenaline rush type of guy. He loved finding different ways to please you. This hole, that hole, these fingers, this toy. This kink, that kink. This position, that position. Whatever it took to make you scream his name every day and night, Aki tried it. But there were times, very rarely, honestly, when it came down to basics where it was just you and him and the simple idea of fucking each other. No fancy toys, no crazy kinks, and no planning prior to the sex so that everything was safe and consentual because that was just how crazy it could get sometimes. This was the purest thing it could be: Two people in love who needed each other.

“I’m ready,” you insisted while reaching down to wrap your hand around his length.

Aki hissed at the feeling. “Okay— Fuck—” He moaned your name as you aligned his tip with your slick entrance.

As you slid down slowly onto his length, Aki’s fingers on your clit hesitated for a moment as he forgot how to simply breathe. It wasn’t until you were fully settled down that he finally let out a breath and threw his head back. You took the opportunity to kiss his neck. You nipped and licked enough to make sure that a hickey would surface soon to let the whole world know that you put it there because you loved him because he was only yours. He could make a million contracts with Devils just to sell his soul off— It didn’t matter because his heart was all yours.

“Is it okay if I move?”

Aki nodded eagerly. “Go on.”

With moans escaping both of you simultaneously, you rolled your hips in a circle just to test how deep he could reach inside of you. Aki wasn’t the largest man by any means, but he wasn’t small either. Though he wasn’t very thick, he made up for it in length, which meant that he could hit spots in you that you thought were impossible before you met him. He liked to watch your face burn bright whenever he’d fuck you because you were shocked by him every time. It just seemed outrageous that you’d think he was done but he’d keep going and going until finally his pelvis hit your skin and you knew he’d given you everything. He thought it was entertaining to see you so surprised. But this time, it wasn’t like that. You were on top, ready to take every inch, and you were testing the waters to see where you could get him to go if you rolled your hips left vs. right, and what would happen if you lifted up slightly then rolled around in a circle.

Aki’s fingers flicked your clit whenever you lifted up slightly. If you weren’t down against his thighs, then he had enough room to play with you, which is exactly what he wanted because the whimpers that left your mouth as you bit your lip were just so perfect. And to you, whenever you’d be pressed down all the way, you felt like you were in heaven whenever he’d groan your name. It was like hearing him chant a prayer. The way he’d break with a few curse words and a name of an angel— your name… Fuck, he was perfect.

“I love you.” Aki’s lips captured yours in another passionate kiss.

You could tell that it was difficult for him to find way to keep you closer than you already were, and that was only because he used to dig his fingers into your hips just to make sure you couldn’t get away from him; but without his other arm, he was forgetting how to hold onto you, and you could see it in his lust-heavy eyes that he was worried about losing you. He was probably asking himself what would happen if he didn’t hold you on his lap? Would you groan and go to bed? Absolutely not! He wasn’t less adequate. He wasn’t worth less now. He wasn’t going to lose you. What such stupid thoughts posessed him whenever he was worried about you.

“I love you,” you responded desperately. You needed him to believe you. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He must have known that you knew what he was thinking because his fingers worked faster on your clit and he kissed you so hard you almost got knocked backwards. If it weren’t for the fact that you were holding onto his shoulders, you probably would have fallen onto the floor.

“I love you, baby. Fuck— Love you so, so much.”

You whimpered into the kiss, “‘Ki…”

“Hmm, darling?”

“Don’t stop…”

It was difficult to keep reminding yourself that you needed to put in the work to move around on his cock while he was trying to force you towards an orgasm that you could already anticipate would knock the wind out of you. Somehow he was fine. He was moaning, sure, but he had regained enough sense since throwing his head back to know that it was up to him to keep kissing you and playing with your stiff clit; and you just had to breathe. Just breathe. It didn’t matter that you could feel him so far in you that your legs were shaking. It didn’t matter that you were squeezing so tight around his length that you could feel him twitching as he got close, too. It didn’t matter that you were teetering on the edge. All you wanted was to remind both of you what this all meant: Two people who were madly in love who needed each other.

“I need you, Aki.”

It wasn’t a “need” of the sexual variety— Though that was certainly true, as well. You said it because it meant that you needed him to live. You needed him to find some kind of way to stick around longer than two years. Whatever contract he’d have to make, there had to be some Devil out there who’d like to keep him alive longer than the Curse Devil wanted simply because Aki could be of use. Right? Someone had to want or need him as much as you.

“I know,” he whispered kindly.

It sounded almost like he was taking pity on you— A thought that you could bear, so you hugged him and rested your head on his shoulder as you fucked him faster. You didn’t need him to feel sorry for you, you just needed him to be there, to be enough.

“Darling, I’m close…”

You did your best to maintain your speed and balance as you continued to do what was working. He seemed to love it when he was buried inside of you to the hilt, so you stayed down and grinded on his hips in circles.

“Fuck, darling— Fuck— I’m close— Shit—”

For someone who took pride in his mature vocabulary and “proper” dialect, it was amazing to you that you could break him down to nothing but curse words oh-so-easily.

“In me, ‘Ki,” you begged.

“Shit—”

The knot in your stomach tightened suddenly. The build up went straight down to where you were connected to him, so you instinctively squeezed around his length, forcing him to tip over the edge. You came as he twitched inside of you. A guttural groan left him while he came hard, his cum ending up exactly where you both agreed it belonged.

Your thrusting slowly winded down until you were at a complete stop, both of you panting while you came down from your highs, his cock still a bit hard as he relaxed against the cushions beneath him. You fell into his chest a bit more.

“Won’t you look at me?” he asked you.

With a bit of bravery you managed to conjure up, you lifted your head from his shoulder. It was then that you suddenly noticed that his eyes were watery and red, a sign that he was on the verge of breaking down for the first time in so long.

You panicked and rushed to kiss him. “I’m sorry—”

“I need you, too,” he insisted. “I’ve always needed you.” He kissed you again. “It’ll be okay. I promise. I’ll make it okay. I’m not going anywhere… Not yet at least.”

You hated words like that from him. “Not yet at least.” Couldn’t he just lie and promise that he’d be around forever? Just to make you forget for a little bit longer that the inevitable was on the horizon, that he’d lose more than just his arm, and that you’d eventually miss him and there’d be nothing you could do about it anymore. No more sitting on his lap. No more kissing him. No more hugging his body as he’d cum inside of you. No more hoping and praying that maybe you’d get pregnant and there’d be a part of him to remember him by after he’d die. He could lie to you, and you wouldn’t get mad, so long as it was about him always being there.

“I love you,” was all you could bear to say after you kissed him one last time before resting your head on his shoulder again.

Aki hugged his arm around your body and sniffled. “I love you, too.”

[ten-shi-fandoms]

"Before I die.. I wanna do something nice.."

Csm addition pt 1

___________________

Cw: Character death, mentions of Reader being sick (Aki), Reader mentioned to be reckless (Angel), Reader is in public safety, Crying, slightly derealization, coughing up blood, major wounds (Power and Angel), dying in characters arms (Aki), slight spoliers for the Chainsaw man manga angst no fluff, scenarios

Characters: Aki Kayakawa, Angel Devil, Power

Authors note: These headcanons came to me while listening to Money by the Drums! Listen to it when you get the chance!

______________________________________

Aki Kayakawa:

In reality Aki noticed it faster than anyone else..

It was small but he noticed.

He noticed the way you looked paler each day , the way your hands would shake while you held onto a chair for support, even the quiet groans of pain when you moved a certain way.

No one else really notice it, no one but Aki.

He thought you were fine, that you would get better,

You promise him you would get better..

But it seems fate had other plans for you..

It happened so quickly.

You two were on a mission, it was supposed to be easy.

At first Aki thought you were just tired from the endless missions but he soon realized that wasn't the case.

The moment you started coughing up blood was the moment Aki's world shattered..

The sound of the rampaging devil you two were sent to kill fell to deaf ears as Aki watched you cough.

He could feel the way you were coughing, the sound so painful that he feel the pain in his own lungs..

Why was there so much blood..

He watched you double over, your hands on your stomach and chest as your body forced more blood from you.

He didn't notice that he started running over to you until he heard a member of your squad yell his name.

His body reacted on it's own as he grabbed you, holding gently onto your side as more blood spewed from your quivering lips.

Aki's voice was caught in the lump of his throat. He couldn't speak, he couldn't think of anything other than you and the blood.

The sound of a dead devil falling didn't even register in Aki's ears as he listened to your pained coughing.

He could see it clearly now..

You weren't going to get better, you weren't going to make it and knowing you,

You already knew that..

Soon your body leaned forward, body heavy as lead as Aki's eyes frantically looked around for something, anything to help you and yet he couldn't..

Gentle, shaky hands grabbed the sides of Aki's face catching his attention as he looked towards you. Your (e/c) eyes glossy, (s/c) skin painted with blood and a smile.

How the hell could you be smiling at a time like this..

"Listen Aki I don't have much time left."

"Be quiet I.. I can get you help-"

"Aki, we both know I won't survive this," your voice was strained most likely due to the coughing you had done. The sound made Aki sick, while he quietly watched tears begin to well in the (e/c) he loved so much.

"But I did what I wanted to do" the genuine smile on your face made Aki turn his head away from you.

He couldn't go through this again..

He already lost his family..

His best friend..

And now was he going to lose you too?

Aki swallowed the lump in his throat as you stared at him expectedly like you wanted him to ask something.

He knew what you wanted him to ask.

"What.. What did you want to do.."

"I wanted to do something nice that's what."

Aki paused turning his head back to you as his blue eyes stared back into your (e/c) ones.

"I knew before I die that I wanted to do something nice, thats why I joined Public Safety. And I did it Aki." your voice was soft only he could hear it while your squad went off to get help.

"I killed devils. I saved people. I found you."

Finally tears slipped from your (e/c) eyes smudging the blood that stained your lips and chin,

"Promise me you'll live on Aki.. At least for me" tears glossed over Aki's dulled eyes, his breathing becoming uneven, he's heard something similar, too similar before.

He gulped slightly, his arms wrapping around your form holding you in a gentle embrace,

Your last embrace..

"I'll live.. I promise you I'll live.." Aki heard a weak chuckle while shaky arms wrapped loosely around his torso,

"Thank you my love.." the word 'love' was dragged out as (Y/N)'s body slumped down in Aki's arms.

Small tears rolled down his cheeks, his body forcing him to choke back a sob.

His breathing grew erratic..

His mind was blank, his hands were shaky..

This wasn't real.

It couldn't be real, just earlier that day you were laughing and smiling..

Nothing at that moment felt real anymore.

It was numb.

So very numb. .

As paramedics rushed around helping with casualties of the fight, one ran towards Aki but before the paramedic could reach him, he stopped noticing the way Aki gently embrace your corpse.

Aki slowly stood up, his arms wrapped ever so softly around your limp body.

The lingering warmth you left suddenly turning cold.

Your words like a bitter fruit on his tongue.

"Promise me you'll live on Aki" you just said that to him and yet he couldn't help but wish he didn't promise you he would.

After all,

You of all people know that not all promises are meant to be kept.

___________________________________________

Angel Devil:

You were reckless.

You were so very reckless that you got put in to much danger because of your weird sense of justice.

He told you before you would end up dead,

He warned you..

But you didn't listen,

You never listened..

That's why when Angel saw you laying ontop of two deceased children, the wound from your back to stomach oozing blood onto the corpses beneath you, he didn't need to wonder what happened.

Anyone could tell from your position that you had to tried to protect those kids.

You must have wanted them to go back home to their families and yet from where Angel stood he knew none of you would make it home that evening.

He was only was supposed to be there as backup.

Everyone on your squad was dead and as a last ditch effort someone had called for backup.

That's why he stood here beside your unmoving, barely breathing body.

He could smell it.

The strong metallic smell that roamed the air.

It was such a thick smell it made his head spin.

Maybe it was the thick smell of blood, or maybe it was seeing you there almost lifeless that made things seem hazier than usual.

A small cough brought Angel out of his thoughts as he stared down at you.

You were coughing borderlining on wheezing your body shaking from the effort as you gasped for air, the wound only oozing out more red liquid onto the ground below with each movement.

Angel bent down, gently rolling you off the children, his hands placed firmly on your dirtied uniform as he softly lifted you up into a sitting position.

You whined and whimpered at the movement, eyes shut tightly from the pain, teeth gritting at the burning in your back and stomach.

"I hate you."

Your body flinched a bit hearing a voice beside you only to relax when you realized you knew that voice.

You opened your eyes, your vision blurry with a mix of blinding white, your eyes moved to the figure beside you.

Angel sat beside you his wings shielding you from onlookers, his vermilion red hair framing his gentle face perfectly, his halo making his angelic appearance even prettier.

But one thing about him wasn't angelic in that moment.

It was his eyes.

His normally lazy, red eyes stared at you with a emotion you couldn't identify.

Even as his expression stayed netural his eyes were burning into you like you did something wrong.

Well, technically you did..

You smiled weakly at him, it was half-hearted barely a smile.

"Hey Angel.. Sorry I guess I was being reckless again.." Angel's eye twitched hearing your words.

Were you kidding him?

Why were joking while your on the ground bleeding out?

"You have no right to joke," he spat, his words laced with a vemon you've never heard before,

"I warned you so many times that this would happen yet you never listened and this is where it got you."

You could tell he was upset, his stoic expression beginning to crumble

His eye twitched, his brows furrowed together, his lips pulled into a unamused frown.

Under normal circumstances you might've laughed.

You would've teased him for showing so much emotion, yet right now you couldn't.

He looked so raw at that moment, he looked more vulnerable than he ever had around you.

Your smiled lessened as you leaned into him the best you could, your hand placed over your wound covering your gloved hand with red.

"I'm sorry.." you muttered, it was low but Angel heard it.

He stayed silent, letting you pick up where you left off,

"I'm so sorry Angel, I.. I messed up.. I sent my squad to their death.. I let those children die.. I never listened I'm so sorry..." your words were quick, most drew together at how fast you spoke.

Angel couldn't help but sigh, he knew you were telling the truth, the tears welling in your (e/c) eyes showed him that.

"I know" his voice was as silky as ever, you would've gone to sleep listening to him if you weren't in so much pain.

"Angel.. I have one final request if you'll let me ask it.." Angel stared at you for a moment, you were aware of your situation, you knew you wouldn't survive that wound.

You were only human.

Yet you were a human with a heart of gold.

A heart of gold that stole Angel's right from his chest.

Angel only nodded, the small action made you smile.

"I want to hold your hand.." Angel paused, he should've known. He should've know that in a moment like this you would want to touch him.

All the touches usually through gloves and cloth, kisses through pieces of fabric or quiet air kisses, sleeping in different areas. All of if was was a nuisance, so it was no wonder why you would want to touch him in your final moments.

It was inevitable, but he complied.

Angel moved one of his hands to your's, gently removing the bloodied glove from your (s/c) hands.

Finally Angel grabbed your hand.

It was first time he'd ever really touched your hand.

His pale fingers lacing gently with your (s/c) ones. The warmth from your hand made his heart skip a beat.

It was first time in so long that he felt such warmth. He looked at your hands entwined before looking back at you.

You were smiling.

Smiling more than before, it was gentle and genuine.

"Thank you now I can-" before you could finish your sentence Angel pressed his lips against yours.

Your eyes widened, startled by his boldness never expecting such a act of intimacy from him, yet you kissed back.

The kiss was soft. Angel's soft lips moved gracefully against your bloodied ones. He tasted of vanilla ice cream, while you tasted of blood.

Tears spilled down your cheeks, your grip on his hand beginning to loosen, your body beginning to go limp.

Until finally there was nothing.

No grip, no movement, no kissing back, no breathing..

Angel pulled back slowly, his lips stained with the red of your blood.

The vague taste of ice cream going rancid upon his tongue. The lingering taste of blood seeped into his tastebuds.

He gave you what you wanted.

He did what you asked.

He held your hand and even kissed you.

You went out with little regret.

So why, why did it hurt so bad..

With one last peck to your lips Angel let go of your body as Public Safety members rushed towards him.

Angel stood up his hand still holding yours until the members got to close. He let go of your hand gently laying it over your chest, his eyes gazing over you once more.

You looked so happy. Your eyes shut, a joyful smile left plastered on your face.

And while the devil hunters picked your lifeless body up mourning your death, Angel begun to walk.

He didn't know where he was going nor did he wish to know.

There was only one thing running through his head, the image of your lifeless body.

It seems even the best of sweets can turn bitter..

___________________________________________

Power:

A devil should never fall for a human.

Power knew that.

Aki had told her that and frankly she didn't care.

She hated Devils.

She hated Humans

Yet for some reason she didn't hate you.

You came into her life like a force to be reckoned with.

You were kind.

You brushed off her threats as if they were jokes, you laughed at the way she spoke, you gave in to her reckless actions.

She didn't notice until Denji pointed it that she was developing the mortal feeling of love for you.

She didn't want that. Why would the mighty Power bow to the tyrant known as love?

Yet here she was, standing infront of your slumped over body that she realized just how much she loved you.

You were beaten by a Devil, she knew that.

Your appearance said it all.

One of your arms was missing, ripped straight out of it's place.

Your leg had a chunk of it missing as if it was bitten off.

One of your eyes missing. There was blood everywhere.

Blood on your clothes.

In your hair.

On your body.

But that shouldn't matter right?

She was Power! The most powerful! She who would win a Noble Prize!

So why was she breathing so heavy?

Power bent down infront of your body. Her eyes staring at your barely rising chest.

You looked so broken. So different from the over confident (h/c) haired idiot she saw that morning. You were so full of life this morning so why did you look like this now?

It wasn't until Power saw your eye move in her direction that she notice she was holding her breath.

"Oh Power it's you.." your voicr was hushed, words breaking as you spoke. So different than your normally sweet voice.

"What are you doing here..? Shouldn't you b-be on a mission with Aki and the others..?" Power couldn't speak.

For some unknown reason she felt like she couldn't talk. Like something was keeping her from speaking.

You smiled a bit, your eye so gentle as you stared at her. You didn't look at her like she was a nuisance, like she was just another evil devil. Instead you looked at her like she was precious. Like the most valuable piece of jewelry.

"What is it.. Is it my appearance.." your voice semed more strained as you kept talking. Blood trickled down your lips to your chin, droplets of the red liquid falling onto your blood stained uniform.

Normally Power would try to lick up the blood, try to bite you when you refused but for some reason the smell of your blood made her almost sick.

"I demand you telk me who did this to you!" her voice was loud compared to how quiet her surrounding were, you couldn't help but let out a small, very weak chuckle.

"No need to worry about it.. The devil is dead.." your words calmed Power a bit until she remembered what was going on.

You were going to die.

There was no way you were survive this.

If only topknot had gotten there earlier she would've been able to help. She could've slowed the bleeding but it was for late for that.

"Before I die Power can I tell you something..?" the question was plagued with misfortune. All Power did was nod, her eyes staring back into the only eye you had left.

"I love you Power.. I know thats silly.. A human loving a devil nonetheless but I do.. I really do.." your laughed. The laughter was sickly sweet. The pretty sound muddied by it's strained, hushed nature.

Power would've been cocky.

She would've proudly proclaimed she knew that, and that everyone loved her but she couldn't.

Is this grief?

"I just wanted to let you know.."

Your words were even more hushed, your voice obviously giving out until you were silent.

Power couldn't even see your chest rise or fall anymore. Your body slumped down farther, more blood oozing onto the area beneath you painting it a beautiful red.

Power stood up hearing Denji yell her name.

She didn't respond.

She couldn't.

Power turned on her heels walking towards Denji. Her expression solemn yet no tears fell.

Why would she cry for you?

A mortal.

You mortals and your pathetic lives aren't worthy of the mighty Power's attention.

Yet..

Not all mortals could get love from someone like the mighty Power that you did...

___________________________________________

[gojos-espresso]

Prompt#1

“Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”

“Yes.”

“What if I just break his nose a little?”

Prompt taken from this post

TW: Blood, Vomit

"Why do all the police department heads have to be such assholes all the time?" She whispered to Aki. "Dunno. they probably just hate that we do the job better than them." He replied as he lit up his cigarette. She huffed as the officer explwined the basic instructions on how to handle the devil.

15 minutes had passed and the officer since the long list started. "I hope you kids are able to handle the devil inside. Devil hunting isn't all that easy. Get that fantasy out of your head. Its a serious job."

She clicked her tongue and unwrapped a lollipop and mumbled to herself, "As if it's our first time interacting with one." they walk into the building. "What did you say?" The policeman asked, "It's not our first time interacting with a devil, sir, " you replied sarcastically. He was fuming by this time. "I don't think you guys are even cut for this job, especially you-you prick! You should just leave the devils to us!" He huffed and kept on walking.

You were fuming now, gritting your teeth you walked toward him but stopped because Aki grabbed your hand and nodded a no. You tried to protest but he gripped your arm harder. "We'll deal with him after the devil is dead, and no punching him in the face." You tried to protest but it was of no use.

20 minutes passed and the wolf devil lay in carcasses. You both were covered in blood, effectively ruining your uniforms. The police force arrived with the snarky officer in the lead. "Are you SURE I can't punch him in the face?" You whispered. "Yes" he replied nonchalantly. "What if break his nose just a little l?" You whispered again. He doesn't reply and starts approaching the police. You sigh and follow. "Good job you two!" The snarky officer beamed. "It was a hard task but you made it seem ea- ooof" Aki had kneed him in the nuts.

"The police force's hypocrisy never fails to amuse me. On one end we are worthless and when we do end up doing the job we are national treasures. Officers like you are the reason we exist." Aki said as he lit his nth cigarette. He then moved to the whimpering officer "Think again before you underestimate us next time. Your family won't recognize your face." And walked off. Perplexed you follow him out. You asked no questions as you drove back to the office. "A broken nose will show evidence that we assaulted him. So next time kick them in the nuts and no one would believe them."

Your eyes went wide and you beamed at him"Yes sir"

Masterlist

[mitsuyaya]

[ parting gift ] hayakawa aki

contains: 700+ words. angsttt!, noblewoman reader x knight aki, reader is referred to as my lady, unedited (as usual)

summary: a price to pay for the heinous crime you commit is your happiness and the life of the man you love the most.

csm masterlist

“What if we run away?”

You wait for Aki to break the silence, to utter a single word, to refuse your offer and change the subject of your conversation. To tell you off and go home. Because the longer you stay, the longer you stare at his miserable state—behind bars, bruised and dirtied—the more difficult it is for you to repress the emotions that want to break free from the inside.

But the other half of you wanted him to say yes, agree and then pretend like your lives aren't at stake. Run away at this moment and forget about everything, forget about what would happen the next day and the day after.

“Would that make you happy, my lady?” it will, definitely, absolutely. But you don't think you can ever be safe if you did run away. The future would be terrifying, would always be filled with constant running and worry, the fear of getting caught and being brutally murdered on the spot will be an everyday thought. It wasn't the best course of action, you know it too well.

“Tell me, if we ever do run away, would we ever have a bright future?” you won't, the answer is too obvious.

“Will we have sons and daughters as we dreamt of? Have an estate even larger than your family owns?” you kept your mouth shut, heart cracking with every truth that comes out of his lips.

“Would someone like me have a perfectly normal life with someone like you?”

“But we'll always be together” he shakes his head, “A murderer doesn't deserve to be happy” the tears you've been trying to hold back since you got here broke free, cascading through your cheeks in steady streams.

“You aren't a murderer Aki!” you shouted, pointing to yourself “It was me! I was the one who kill—” Aki hurriedly covers your mouth, struggling with the chains binding his wrists.

“Don’t say that! What if someone hears you?” The fear on his face reminds you that he's on death's door all because of you, that because of what you did, you'd lose the person you love so much. That by taking your place, he was detained in the highest tower, awaiting his execution the next morning.

And yet, even at this moment, it's still you he's thinking about—it's you he's worrying—not him, not his life, only you.

“It wasn't your fault, don't say that, you could get hurt if anybody hears.” Another wave of tears slipped from your eyes, it hurts so much.

You were the one who murdered the crown prince, fed him poison all because you weren't thinking straight. All because he threatened that he'll kill Aki and your family if you didn't marry him.

But Aki still took the blame, receiving the death, hatred and pain that should've been directed to you, that should've been your future.

“I’m so sorry Aki, you weren't supposed to be here” your chest hurts from guilt, throat flaring from the truth that you'll never get to see him again because of you, because of your foolish actions.

“My lady” he reaches for you, cups your cheeks and wipes your tears with his thumb. “Don’t feel sorry, it is my choice because I wanted to protect you, I'm your knight aren't I? This is my duty” Aki smiled, although there's bitterness and fear beneath his words. None of what he said comforted you, it only made you even guiltier.

“But still—” he shushes you, taking your hands into his, pulling it closer to his lips. “I want you to live longer, find happiness like you've always wanted. I don't regret anything so please don't feel guilty.”

Aki kisses the back of your hand, your knuckles, looking straight at you as a tear falls from his eyes, his figure trembling slightly. He's a liar, pretending to be strong and nonchalant when he's just as terrified as you are. You felt his hand pull away, grabbing something from his pocket.

“Before you go, please accept this gift” you couldn't stop your tears from falling, the noise that you've been trying to repress flows through your mouth and you're sure that the prisoners downstairs could hear your sobs and whimpers now.

When his hands found yours again, he brought out a ring, slipping it on your finger, it was the ring he would always show you, one that belongs to his mother and the generations before that. “I love you forever my lady, please live for me.”

[obitohno]

hanah(aki)

hayakawa aki x reader

synopsis ⤸

aki is literally willing to die for you.

themes ⤸

gn! reader, 18+, hanahaki disease, pining, unrequited love, angst, mentions of blood, lots of angst, major character death, sad ending, even more angst

word count ⤸

2.3k (unedited)

a/n ⤸

i rarely post anything that isn’t smut related, so this is a nice change,, but maybe not so nice bc it’s actually a sad one, n i really hurt my own feelings whilst writing this, oops. still, pls let me know what you think!

reblogs are appreciated ~

it is the dawn of spring when the very first petal flutters from between aki’s lips, its velvet-like texture tickling at his nerves as it gently settles into the palm of his right hand. 

surprise renders him motionless, the dark hue of his ocean-coloured irises boring into the rosey toned flesh of what appears to be some sort of shrub-like flower, the petal flat and round. he stares, an ache gnawing at the centre of his chest—caused by the heavy bout of coughing that had stolen his breath just a few moments before—and stares some more. 

aki winces. 

he isn’t stupid. in the last month, he’s lost count of how often his breath has been choked from out of his lungs, left wheezing as his ribs rapidly expanded in a desperate attempt to just fucking breathe. 

his throat has suffered, strained raw with the efforts of a continuous cough that has only worsened, and now, his palm bares the evidence that he can no longer feign indifference to. again, he isn’t stupid; he’s heard the rumours, tales of people who have had the misfortune of contracting the very disease that cannot be cured. curiosity had had him studying the statistics long before his own symptoms had appeared (the irony, he thinks, bitterly), and so, he’s not oblivious enough to pretend that his chances of survival are high. 

he scoffs—a mistake, for yet another cough is torn from the back of his throat—and exhales a sigh that rattles his rib cage. he continues to stare at the palm of his hand, and as he does so, the face that he then imagines is your own. only, doing so hurts, and another short breath trembles from out of his mouth. a forced laugh follows, and his spare hand comes to massage at the dull throb that pulses at his breastbone. 

gods. if only you could see him now. 

it’s been some weeks since he’d last heard from you—you’ve been busy with work, as your texts had read, but unbeknownst to you, it was denji who had blurted the news that you’d actually gotten yourself a new boyfriend. aki still remembers how the truth of your absence had hurt more than he had been willing to admit, and it was around then that his cough had began to worsen. 

he allows himself to recall that he’s yet to reply to your last message—sent well over a week ago, now—but when his eyes dart over to where his mobile phone has been discarded on the coffee table, hesitation twists knots into the depths of his stomach. aki is no fool. in the arms of another man, he knows that you’re happier without him, even if the acknowledgment tastes bitter on the flat of his tongue. the fingers of his right hand curl, and he listens to the satisfying crunch! that follows as his fist squeezes tight. 

the crumpled remains of the petal are carelessly thrown into the bin, and along with it, disappears any temptation of contacting you. 

๑ 

somehow, aki manages an entire week without coughing. it’s the easiest that he’s breathed in over a month, but just as he’s starting to suspect that maybe his symptoms had been a fluke after all, one evening, his mobile phone alights with a notification, and it is your name that flashes across the screen. immediately, his spine is curling in on itself, and his chest heaves so horribly that it feels as if his ribs will burst with the effort. the attack lasts for just under a minute, and when it’s over, there is a metallic aftertaste, unpleasant as it clings to the roof of his mouth. this time, there are two petals, one perfectly formed, and the other, a tad rough around the edges, translucent enough that he can make out the wispy trails of its veins. 

with trembling fingers, he traces over the surface, dampened by the warmth of his own saliva, and he bites into the plush of his bottom lip as he stares and stares and stares. 

he isn’t sure how long he sits there, the dip and rise of his breathing now broken once more, and when he feels the vibration of his mobile springing to life from where it has landed by his feet, he kicks it under the coffee table, frustration forcing a dry sob from out of his mouth. again, his chest hurts, yet this time, the press of his fingers does little to ease the ache. the roar of his blood thundering in his eardrums is deafening, and the thud, thud, thud of his pulse beats a desperate tune at the base of his throat. this time hurts worse than the last, and it takes longer for him to catch his breath. eventually, he is able to ease himself upright once more, but a sudden bout of dizziness has him squinting, temples throbbing as he rasps a curse word from under his breath. 

half an hour ticks by before he forces himself to his feet, and when he does, the two petals are disposed of in the same manner as the first. his mobile phone lays, ignored, under the coffee table. 

 ๑

he looks like shit. 

his mouth tastes like shit. 

and he feels even worse than shit. 

the attacks are becoming more frequent now, and it’s starting to become harder to hide. talking has become a task in itself, and every other word has discomfort clenching at his abdominal muscles. thus, he starts to avoid denji’s calls. only, the blonde is insistent, and when the ugly pang of guilt leaves him sneering down at the little red circle that reads thirty-seven missed calls, he decides to power off the device and lock it away in the bottom drawer of his bedside table. not long after, his employer kindly allows him to take an extended leave of absence from work. 

the days are lonely, wallowing in his own misery within the solitude of the empty walls of his apartment. he kids himself into thinking that maybe isolation is the cure to this torment, and with no one to talk to, surely there is no way that he can be reminded of you. 

only, with no job to distract him, with no denji to bother him, he is now powerless to the dreams of you that begin to plague his slumber. more often than not, he wakes with the curve of his cheek pillowed by a nest of freshly spewed petals that have now morphed into buds that are expelled within varying stages of bloom. the change is one that leaves him haunted by how easily he accepts it, long defeated by the time he wakes in the middle of a particularly horrid attack that has him panicking upon the realisation that he can’t breathe, can’t breathe, c-can’t fucking breathe—he chokes, suffocating, and just when his vision swims, he finally heaves, vomiting a bloodied concoction of crimson-stained buds all over the sheets. in the middle of his lap, snow-tinted petals now glued together with the thickened red of his own blood, lies the very first perfectly formed flower. 

the peony is small in size, tiny enough to sit in the palm of his hand, and with a wet, rattling laugh, aki blacks out. 

when he comes to, some hours have passed, and that single flower has been joined by several others. dazed, he can do little more than blink up at the ceiling, a single track of salted liquid trickling down the stretch of his temple before it melds into the unkempt tresses of his hair. 

another hour passes before he musters the energy to tear the sheets from the mattress, stumbling as he drags them toward the kitchen. only, he doesn’t make it that far. another assault has him collapsing to his knees, barely catching his balance on the dresser before his forehead collides with it. on his hands and knees, he retches, spittle splattering a mess all over his fingers, and with a sickening squelch, it is a small cluster of leaves that are spat out onto the lino flooring. 

the hues of green are mottled with red. 

his grip on the dresser slips, and there is a rough crack! that renders him unconscious once more. 

๑

just a day later, hunger coaxes him from the safety of his apartment. the cupboards are empty, the lining of his stomach as equally bare, and despite the fact that his left eye is now marred an ugly shade of mauve, he has no choice but to venture into the town centre. 

it’s a mistake that’ll soon prove fatal. 

the familiarity of summer’s humidity licks at the surface of his skin, and it’s a struggle to repeatedly blink away the static that swarms at his peripheral vision as he trudges his way through the crowds. still, he manages to make it to the convenience store, pointedly ignoring the cashier’s open gawking at the state of his face as he throws down the required amount of cash onto the counter and making his exit as swiftly as he’s able. 

he’s barely crossed the threshold when an all-too familiar voice sings the syllables of his name. 

it’s instinct, how quickly he turns to seek the owner, and then he spots you, rushing towards him at a pace that would’ve worried him if not for the fact that just a single intake of air makes him realise that he can breathe. 

he’s forgotten just long it’s been since he saw you last, and yet, the relief is instant. 

the weight of your embrace collides with his chest so roughly that he is forced to gasp a laugh into the scent of your hair, your arms coiling tight around his waist. you’re rambling something into the crook of his collarbone, but he can’t process a single word that you’re saying, deafened by the overwhelming ease of which air is sucked into the cocoon that forms the shape of both of his lungs. 

he can’t even focus on the smell of you, his fingertips trembling as he presses them to your shoulder blades, tugging you just that little bit closer. the heat of you should’ve been stifling, especially in this weather, and yet, the longer the two of you stand there, the easier it is to inhale. but, all too soon, something akin to fire burns at the back of his throat, and before he can stop it, his eyes are leaking tear tracks down the curves of his cheeks, and a dry sob is choked over your shoulder. he feels you stiffen, a question exhaled into the fabric of his shirt, and there, he knows that you can hear the jump of his pulse, the tempo rapid, uneven, tainted by the rattle that haunts his every breath. 

‘aki?’ 

the very moment you murmur his name, a second voice calls yours from somewhere behind you, and when aki’s eyes snap upwards, his gaze zeros in on the very man whom you’d chosen instead of him. 

ice freezes his veins and there’s a lump wedging itself in the back of his throat. 

shit. 

a hand slapped over his mouth, he’s extracting himself from the tangle of your arms, and it takes several attempts for him to forcibly swallow down the leaves that scratch at his tonsils. his throat constricts, and he knows that if he looks at your face once more, he’ll have no choice but to empty the contents of his stomach by your feet. 

and he can’t do that to you. 

a bitter, twisted part of him wishes to know if you’d feel remorse for rendering him to such an empty shell of who he once was, knowing that his demise will be your fault because you’d been too blind to see what you could have had with him, instead. 

as soon as the thought comes, it is quashed by the nauseating guilt that swells in his veins. he cannot blame you for his own inability to muster the courage to confess the extent of his feelings. nor is it your crime that has left him in such a state—the blame can only be placed upon himself. 

it is no fault of yours that you’ll never comprehend what it’s like to literally adore someone to death. 

and he hopes, truly, that you’ll never have to. 

he thinks that he manages to whisper your name one last time, but he isn’t too sure, the low baritone of his voice now warped around the shape of yet another cluster of petals that threaten to spew from the cavern of his mouth. lash-line shimmering with unshed tears, he allows himself the luxury of drinking in the features of your face for a final time—because gods, you’re so fucking beautiful—before he tears himself away from the reach of your outstretched fingers. you’re following, bewilderment pinching a frown between your brows, and as much as he wishes to smooth it out with the pad of his thumb, he forces a wobbly smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and then he’s disappearing out of your line of sight, dropping his carrier bag in his rush to escape.

he can hear the screech of his name that haunts him all the way back to the safety of his apartment, and just as he’s kicking the door shut behind him, he’s collapsing to his knees yet again. he’s retching, yet again, suffocating on the extent of his own affections, yet again. his vision is darkening, and he’s sobbing a wet, bloodied mess all over the floor, yet again. 

yet again, yet again. yet again. 

his fingers are buried within the sopping heap that splatters to the floor, and his spine curves as he heaves, heaves, heaves. finally, something gives under the pressure, and there’s a sickening snap! that has a garbled howl of pain bubbling around a mournful pitch of your name, and with a heavy thud, he slumps to the ground. 

and doesn’t rise again. 

a week later, when his corpse is discovered, it is a singular peony that now resides in the space of which his heart once sung; 

in full bloom. 

© obitohno. all rights reserved. do not repost my works.

[sugarplumxx]

honeysuckle - aki h.

aki hayakawa loves his sister, perhaps a little too much…

cw: dark content, nsfw, incest, mental illness, trauma, gore/accidental self-harm, guilt (aki does bad things and feels bad about it), noncon, grooming/underage assault, so so many other things

aki might be ooc but i really wanted to write this for him <;/3

this has a LOT of triggering potential so interact at your own discretion!

“Aki…taste this!”

Your soft little voice rings out in the meadow as you bound over towards the boy, your hand outstretched with a few small flowers inside. 

“Taste it?” Your brother scrunches up his nose. “What are you talking about, stupid?”

“It tastes like sugar! Here, let me show you.”  

Your small hands pinch the base of one of the blossoms, right at the trumpet, and with a gentle tug of the stamen, you unpeel the flower. 

“Look, there’s the nectar.” A tiny drop hangs on the stamen. “Taste it, Aki, taste it!” He humors you, kneeling to let you place it in his mouth. A light, sweet flavor spreads across his tongue, and he hums.

“Tastes good.” “I got a bunch of them so that Taiyo can try.” He nods, smiling softly, although his stomach curls a little whenever you say his name. It’s stupid, he knows: he shouldn’t be jealous of his sister’s love for his brother. You love both of your brothers, and you love them the same.

Aki doesn’t want to be the same as Taiyo, though. Not in your eyes. He’s not sure what he wants, but it’s not that. 

His throat stings with a bitterness none of your nectar could help with. 

___

“Aki…” you breathe softly, your hands fluttering over his shoulders. “G’morning…” 

“Morning.” He breathes it into your neck, along with a soft kiss. “Slept well?” You nod, smiling gently. You always have that look about you — dazed and happy. You don’t seem to feel much else lately. 

“I dreamt about the meadow…when w-we were little.” “Did you?” He wraps his arms around your waist.

You nod again, melting into his embrace.  

“...dreamt that you and I were picking honeysuckle.”

He chuckles. You and your flowers. 

“Can’t remember w-what it tastes like, though…”

“You can’t? I can.” He remembers, clear as day. Holding your hand in the early summer, the two of you running through the field by your old house. You’d stop and wait for Taiyo, which would make him pout, and then the three of you would skip at your pace to the river. Taiyo would search for shiny rocks and you would pick honeysuckle while Aki read under the shady tree…

“Aki?”

You look up at him with big, wide eyes, innocent and pure.

“A-Am I gonna leave the house today?”

He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear.

“Don’t think so.” Your face doesn’t even fall anymore. “It’s safer for you to stay inside. Especially with my job…” You don’t even know what his job is. You wouldn’t understand if he told you, so you don’t ask. 

“Okay, Aki…” Nothing is sweeter than your blind trust.

___

You hear from a woman in town that honeysuckle tea has healing properties, and immediately set about making it for your brother.

Taiyo has been sick for over two years now. Aki wants to call you stupid: if the doctors can’t help him, there’s no way that your silly tea will. But he holds his tongue because knows you’ll cry if he tells you the truth.

You crush the flowers in the kitchen, humming quietly to yourself. For only being nine, you have an endearing determination that draws Taiyo to you, and he sits beside you, watching intently.

“What are you doing?” “Making you tea. It’ll help you.”

“Really?” He smiles softly. “Thank you.” Once you’ve put the flowers into water, you let it sit for a long time in the fridge. Your parents leave to take Taiyo to his weekly doctor’s appointment, so you and Aki are left alone, something that happens all too often. You sit next to him on the couch, eventually falling asleep on his chest. 

He smiles, stroking your hair softly. Such a small child, so soft and innocent. You are nothing if not blind — blind with hope, with joy, with love. Aki won’t break your heart by telling you that your brother won’t live past Christmas. 

Honeysuckle tea won’t mend the wounds in your hearts after you lose him, and he knows that. 

___

The door swings open, and you immediately stand, putting your little fidget toy down and running over to him. 

“Aki!” He brushes past you, his face set in a hard line. There’s a splatter of blood across his jawline, one that your eyes widen at. You rise up on the balls of your feet, trying to wipe it away.

“You okay, Aki?”

“Stop,” he says softly, pushing you aside again. 

“But you’re bleeding.” “No, I’m not.” “Aki, are you sure—” “Just shut the fuck up!” He shouts, shoving you away from him.

You stumble back, losing your footing and falling onto the floor in front of him. 

“You’re such a stupid, stupid girl, fuck! Can you ever just leave me the fuck alone?!” A soft whimper comes from your lips, and he stops when he sees your wide-eyed gaze, watching him with those adorable eyes.

You’re not even crying. You don’t even look afraid. Just…confused. 

“W-What did I…?” You ask after a little bit. “How…did I get on the floor?”

He lets out a long sigh, his eyes and throat stinging with guilt. “You tripped.” He reaches out a hand to help you up. “You feel okay?” “Mhm.” You nod, nuzzling into his shoulder. “M’fine, Aki.” “I know you are.” His hand trembles as it brushes over your hair. “I love you, sweet girl.” “Love you too…”

Later that evening, you lay on the bed, your hands gripping the sheets tightly. Soft whimpers leave your lips, your eyes big and glassy as they watch the ceiling. 

“Aki…” He licks at the sensitive place between your legs, and you feel soft thrums of pleasure coming from your tightening stomach. With one particularly rough kiss, your mouth falls open and your eyes tear up.

“O-Oh…”

“Look at me, sweet girl.” You try, but you can’t adjust your gaze. It’s like you’re sinking into the bed, into your own body, down and away and disconnecting from everything physical. 

“Hey.” You feel a slap against your thigh, but you don’t even react. “Hey! I said look at me.” “M…m’trying…” your head falls to the side. “I…” You drift off again, feeling yourself start to sink even deeper. There’s nothing for you to worry about though: it’s safe and warm and quiet, nothing but you and your brother and the pleasure he brings your body as he tastes your nectar. 

___

“This is where I live, said the city mouse. And oh, what a big house it was! The city mouse’s family—” “Daddy, daddy! Can we play catch outside?” Your voice is soft, always so hesitant to speak to your parents. 

Zipped into your coat, wrapped in a scarf and mittens, bundled into a beanie, you smile up at your parents excitedly. Your oldest brother stands behind you, a glove in his hands and a scowl on his face.

“Taiyo doesn’t feel well,” your father replies. “Why don’t you two play together, instead?” “He never does,” Aki mumbles. “I don’t remember him ever feeling good.”

“You’re the older brother.” Your mother’s face is all hard lines and tired eyes. “Be good and play with your sister alone.” Aki sighs, his hand on your shoulder. He doesn’t care whether your parents play or not. He just wants to be with you. The only reason that he humored you and came to ask with you was so you wouldn’t cry. 

“I…I wanna play with them.” Taiyo’s voice is soft, looking at the two of you shyly. 

You nod excitedly, bouncing on the balls of your feet. Aki tries not to roll his eyes. He doesn’t want to share you with your brother. His parents, his toys, his life…you’re the only thing in this house that still belongs to him. 

He grits his teeth as he stomps through the snow. It’s blanketed everything outside in a layer of pure, glistening white. Aki’s walking ahead, too fast for Taiyo to keep up, so you bridge the gap by staying in the center. 

“Quit following us,” he says bitterly. 

Taiyo doesn’t say anything, still walking behind you, and you turn to look between the two of them.

“Aki—”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! I said cut it out!” Without thinking, he launches a handful of snow at his little brother. It hits him in the chest, and the way you gasp and run over to make sure he didn’t hit him too hard makes Aki feel like he’s been hit himself. 

“We’re gonna go play. By. Ourselves.”

Before you can scold him for being horrible, a ball of snow comes flying back at Aki and hits him square in the face.

Without thinking, you burst out laughing, along with Taiyo, and the two of you nearly collapse.

“He got you!” You say, giggling. “Aki!” “Stupid! Both of you are so stupid!” He throws another handful, this time at you, and you scream with glee as you hop in place.

“That was mean!” You shout, still laughing. “I’ll get you back!” He lets out a grunt of protest as your snowball hits him in the side, but you gasp as Taiyo hits you with one in turn.

“Traitor!” You get Aki in the face again, much to your delight, and he eventually gets frustrated and just pushes a handful into your face. You sniffle, brushing it off, and Taiyo pants heavily beside you, his pale hands quivering a little. 

“Hey. If you catch a cold, we’ll get in trouble,” Aki says eventually. 

“Maybe we should play catch instead…” you say softly. “His hands won’t be cold then!” The way your brother’s eyes light up is unlike anything you’ve ever seen since the day he came home from the hospital. It makes your stomach warm and floaty, and you giggle at what Aki says next.

“Go grab a glove from inside. We’ll wait right here, okay?”

“Okay…okay! Don’t go, okay?” “We’ll wait!” You say, calling after your brother. “Should I go with him? Does he know where the gloves are—

The loudest roar you’ve ever heard stops you as a violent, powerful wind blows you over. Aki instinctually grabs for you to keep you from being tossed up into the chaos, but it’s over as quickly as it started — just without your home anymore. 

You don’t register that you’re screaming until your voice stops working.

___

You chop carrots in the kitchen to go atop the salad that you’ll have with dinner tonight. Aki bought garlic bread and you’ve put the pasta on to boil already. You’re glad he trusted you to make dinner, although you’re not sure why he wouldn’t.

Aki can be so distant sometimes. You can’t help but feel like he’s been drifting away from you, like you can’t focus on each other, like he’s been…fuzzy. 

Or maybe it’s just your vision. You’re not sure which, although you know for certain that your dreams have been getting quieter. Softer. Less…just less. The same can be said for life, sometimes—the few and far between days that your brother tells you it’s safe to go outside, the colors seem a little more muted, the voices a little quieter around you. 

It’s too much to think about. You push it out of your mind, starting to feel that pleasant, dull buzzing behind your eyes as your hand comes down over and over, chopping and chopping.

Aki leans back into his chair, slouching on the balcony. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he listens to the sounds of the city, the sun setting beneath the skyline. It’s beautiful, really.

Despite all his stress, he’s glad to have this home. To have you. To have a life together. Despite what the costs may be.

“Aki…” He turns to see you standing in the doorway, smiling softly, raising a hand with three fingers missing. “Dinner’s ready.” 

He freezes with horror at the way the three stubs gush with blood, the flow almost rhythmic and red rivulets pouring down your slim forearm. 

“Fuck!” Aki runs up to you, and you seem confused. He wants to swear again, now is not the time for your zoning out, for you to distance yourself. 

“What happened?” He sits you on the toilet, the seat down and your head leaning against the wall. You whine a little as he presses a towel to staunch the blood flow, but still don’t seem to understand — gazing up at him with a sweet, dopey look in your eyes.

You cut off your own fingers, and you aren’t even scared.

Tears start to pour from his eyes before he can stop himself, and your face falls a little.

“Aki…what’s…wrong?” “I’m so sorry.” He weeps into your hair, his hands shaking. “I’m so, so sorry…” “For what?” You tilt your head, smiling softly. 

“For everything…everything I’ve done.”

___

The first time Aki takes you, the guilt almost stops him.

You tremble when he brushes his hands against your stomach, whimpering a little.

“Tickles, Aki.” “I know. Stay still, okay?” The tiny apartment is nothing special. You’ve been holed up here for two months, courtesy of the government. Two months since you lost everything. 

You cry pretty much every day. It’s practically all that you do.

“Why…why are y-you touching me?” You ask softly. “What are you doing?” “Just…just want to make you feel good. You’ve been so sad lately.” Your lip quivers, and he scoffs. Of course he said the wrong thing, and now you’ll start crying again.

“Come here. Let me kiss you, okay? You’ll feel better.” It’s an idea that makes you hesitate, but you don’t pull away when he leans in, pressing his lips to your softer ones. Your mouth tastes like the peach juice you drank with lunch, sweet like nectar. 

You gasp after he pulls away, looking up at him with those same, big eyes. He kisses your forehead, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

“See?” You nod ever-so-slightly. 

“S’better…but I…I-I’m still…” You start to sniffle again. “M’sorry, I—” “Don’t apologize. Let me still…let me make it better.” His lips attach to your neck, pressing soft but hungry kisses down the side of your neck. His mouth kisses your chest, the parts not covered by your tank top, and travels down to your bare stomach before he looks up at you, his face just above your hips.

Long, lithe fingers hook into your sleep shorts, and you whine as he pulls them down. You poor thing, you’re shaking. He knows how scary this must be, how overwhelmed your brain is, still so raw after all of what you’ve just lost. 

He’s lost nothing. He has all he needs, right here.

One finger dips inside of you, and you let out a long, shaky whimper. 

“Hurts, Aki—” “I know. Just relax.” You have a hard time “relaxing”, your hips bucking and legs twitching as a single digit inside of you fries your brain. He strokes the bony part of your hip, trying to help calm you.

“Just watch me, okay? Just…keep your eyes on me.” You nod, your teeth clamped down on your lip. A poor, sweet little flower ripped from its stem.

The white-hot cry you let out the first time he sinks into you is almost enough to make him stop.

“Aki! S’too m-much…” “I know. Just breathe. Look at me and breathe.” He finishes quickly, too young for true stamina. After he’s done, his sweaty forehead plastered to yours, he pulls away and out as gently as he can.

You collapse back onto the pillows, your small hands going up to cover the flower between your legs, red and irritated and dripping with fluids you don’t understand. Like bruised rose petals that drip with nectar, nectar mixed with the blood of your innocence. 

___

For the first time in three months, Aki allows you to go outside. 

“It’ll be good for you, I think.” He hopes it’ll be good for you. He’s losing you too quickly — whatever is eating away at your brain has been accelerating, and he hopes it’s not too late to try and bring you back, bring his sister back. 

You walk to the nearest bus stop, dressed in a sundress he chose since you say they all look the same. On the bus, his fingers rest on your leg reassuringly, and your eyes flutter closed, head leaning against the window. Your mutilated hand dances over your other knee, your good finger stroking the soft floral fabric beneath it. 

“M’sleepy, Aki.” “I know…just thought it would be fun.”

You smile softly and nod. 

“Thank…thank y-you.” A gentle squeeze of your thigh makes you hum.

You reach the stop rather quickly. Dazed and distant, you follow behind your brother, your hand snug in his as he leads you down the trail. This is the last stop on the bus route — the end of the line, as they say. 

He’s not sure what he’ll do if this can’t bring you back.

The gardens are beautiful at this time of day — half an hour past ten, a warm breeze ruffling your hair and the soft gurgling of the creek that runs through the area. Birds are singing nearby, flowers are in bloom, and it’s mostly empty save for the small children who frolic in the grass and the old couples feeding ducks by the water. 

At the end of the field lies a stone retaining wall, about three feet high. At the top, there are thick tresses of ivy, along with the clusters of the flowers you taught him to identify.

“Ah, here we are.” He sits you down on the wall, smiling gently. You watch him, that same soft look on your face, although confused now as you see him pick some of the blooms.

“What’re you doing, Aki?” “They’re honeysuckle.” “Honey…suckle?” You hum. “That’s a pretty name.” 

“Don’t you remember?” He kneels in front of you, one of the flowers in his hand. “You taught me how to eat them. Can you show me again?” You frown a little, but then giggle, shaking your head.

“Eat them? I don’t…remember. I-I’m sorry.” 

His jaw clenches, and he shakes his head.

“No, no…you have to remember. For me. How do we...how do we get the nectar out?” You shrug, still smiling. 

“Dunno, Aki. Don’t think I’ve ever heard of honeysuckles before.”

[akucat]

3:10am - [ Aki Hayakawa ] 

aki knows you’re scared, you’re not as good at hiding it as you think you are. he reaches over to your sleeping figure, running his fingers through your hair as he watches your chest heave up and down, wondering what you might be dreaming of. he hopes it isn’t him. it saddens him more than he’d like to admit it, how you used to wake up and recount your dreams to him, your lips curled in a soft smile as you tell him you dreamt of the two of you in the future, years from now in a world with no devils. he’d ask what the two of you were doing and some mornings you’d reply with just enjoying each others presence, or maybe a drink or two led to something a little more frisky, but on those rare mornings you’d tell him the two of you had a family; those were always his favourite.

you don’t tell him about your dreams anymore. although, he still knows when you have nightmares. he runs his hand across the small of your back, drawing patterns into your skin as your breathing grows more frantic. you always have a small frown dawning your face, eyebrows softly knitted together. some nights you’ll even murmur his name, over and over and every time, no matter how used to it he thinks he is, it always feels like a punch to the gut. on those rare nights he doesn’t fall back asleep, instead he prompts to lying next to your now calmed frame, wallowing in self-hatred because he just can’t stand himself for causing you such pain. he’ll wait till you finally wake, and when he asks what you dreamed of you’ll simply say you can’t remember, but you were certain it was something nice. 

he knows you’re scared, and he can’t live with himself anymore because of it. he was such a fool for accepting the devils contract. nothing’s more important than you; not the gun devil, not makima, not his job, not denji or power. he wishes he would have told you about his contract before accepting your date, he regrets being so selfish. he wishes he would have just rejected you if it meant sparing your heartbreak.  

but there’s nothing he can do anymore, that much he’s accepted. so instead he moves his hands to your waist, resting his chin atop your head. he hopes you’re dreaming of power and denji, or maybe even kobeni, he knows that you two get along pretty well. he find’s it reassuring that once he’s gone you’ll still have people who care about you. 

he promises to himself that he’ll meet you again, in some other universe, hopefully where devil’s dont exists. he’ll try make things right next time. 

he thinks he might be able to fall asleep tonight.

[sonderessence]

IFHY ... aki x fem black reader

warnings / contains: smoking, angst, reader/y/n uses she / her pronouns

synopsis: aki fucking hates how you make him feel.

✞ NOW PLAYING: IFHY, tyler the creator (ft. pharrell williams)

aki hated you.

he hated the way you made him feel, he hated the way he couldn't even look you in the eye when speaking to you.

he hated the way you looked at him with such admiration, he hated the way he couldn't think when he was around you, the way his heart fluttered at the slightest touch from you.

he hated the way your thighs were like drugs to him — all he could think about was his head in between your pretty thighs, his name rolling perfectly off your tongue as you grabbed onto his matte black hair, you chanting his name like a he's a god.

he hated the way you lighted up a room when you walked in it, smiling at every person who smiled back at you.

he hated the way you were so sweet and kind to power and denji, how they would tease him for his little " crush " on you behind your back.

he hated the way he thought of you, seeing you beautiful curves in that dress, that damn dress that he loved the most.

he hated how his mind was clouded with you — your smile, your curls, you body, you.

and there he was, blankly staring at you as you danced the night away on the club dance floor, no clue that aki was watching you.

you swayed you hips to the beat of the music, just you in your own world. god, he wanted to fuck you so bad, the thought of you whining beneath him as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear — and he was fucking hard again.

he hated the fact that he was too much of a pussy to tell you how he felt, only watching from afar with pain. all he wanted was you, and you were right there, right there for him.

you body swayed to the rythm of the music, alchol in your system and a wide grin on your face as you noticed aki staring in the distance.

he looked tired, he looked....off.

you ran up to him gleaming with joy. "akiii!" you called out "hey! didn't see you there!"

aki looked startled when he broke out of his trance, now noticing that you were right there in front of him. you looked even more beautiful up close.

aki muttered up a small 'hey' and smiled, despite how much his heart hurt.

"soooo," you dragged you the word as you sat on one of the stools. "what are you doing here? you coulda called 'n told me you were here!" you giggled.

"i didn't see you here." aki lied simply, he didn't know what to say to you at the moment, he was to drunk to comprehend why he was even here to begin with.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, his head spinning as he tried to focus on something else that wasn't you. you were like a drug to him — what he didn't need right now.

aki was known as the "uptight grumpy guy" according to power, and wasn't the first person you'd think would be obsessed with an outgoing young woman like yourself.

he grabbed a cigar from his back pocket, same brand he always got. one thing you remembered while working with him.

"y'know," you turned to him, pursing your lips together "you're gonna end up in the hospital 'cause of those."

"hm." was aki's response as he lit the deathly drug between his lips and took a long drag.

"are you okay, aki?" you asked softly, clearly worried. the music playing in the bar had died down, so he could hear you clearer than before.

"yes." aki answered, even thought he wanted to say no and pour his whole heart out to you.

"you don't look like it-"

"why do you care?"

"why do i care?" you scoffed "i'm worried aki, you look like you haven't slept in days." your voice was stern, and he could tell he disappointed you — and he hated that he did.

his hands shook and his leg bounced up and down, occasionally hitting the bottom of the counter. "m'sorry." he mumbled, his words slurred as he looked at the counter "things have been...pretty tough these past couple of weeks"

you sighed, resting your hand on his, which made him flinch. "why didn't you tell me? i could've helped..."

his heart ached. he wanted to tell you how he felt — but something stopped him. why? why couldn't he speak? why couldn't he tell you the truth to end this dark path he'd gone through?

"'m gonna go home." aki stood up, stumbling out the door. "w-wait!" you called out, following after him. "aki!"

you frowned, walking with him to his car. "you can't drive in this condition! you're piss drunk!"

"at least let me drive you..." you sighed, reaching a hand out towards his shaky ones. you could tell he was panicky, something you never saw in him.

"'cmon..." you didn't wait for him to answer, grabbing his hand and walking him to his car. you jumped in the drivers seat, grabbing aki's car keys and starting it when he got in.

the drive to aki's place was dead silent. he tried to calm himself down, drowning out the sounds blaring in his ears. he could feel you stare at him every chance you got, every red light you would glance at him with worry in your eyes. he didn't want you to worry.

"all right," you sighed, parking the car on his driveway and getting out. you walked over to drunk aki and offered a hand towards him, he was hesitant at first, but grabbed your hand and got out of the car.

aki's place hasn't changed, you weren't there often but whenever you would visit it always looked the same.

"you should go..." aki said sternly, not daring to look you in the eyes.

"i'm not doing that." you answered in the same tone. he sighed, knowing how you were, you wouldn't dare leave him in this condition.

he chuckled softly at your stubbornness, same as always.

aki didn't know what to say, and neither did you. you two just stood there in the middle of his living room.

you frowned, walking up to your "friend" and looking into his tired indigo eyes. "you can tell me what's wrong, aki." could he? why did he make this more complicated than it needed to be?

he took a shaky breath, looking back at you. he wanted to kiss you, so so bad. he loved you, but he didn't know if you felt the same way.

"im just tired..." he sighed.

"then sleep." you smiled softly, aki quietly chuckling at your smart remark.

"your right..." he looked deep into you eyes. "do you want to...stay...?"

you smiled softly "sure"

a/n: don't know how to end this 💪🏾

©bachirasegoist, 2023 — do not steal or copy works

[anuuuubis]

Aki

my insta / my twitter

[nejiverse]

just red your Aki fics with the family and omg.

but then my head goes to thinking about Y/n finding out about Aki’s death.

and it just breaks my heart as like an AU.

if possible can you write that but not cannon to what you’ve written just as an alternate thing

ONE MORE TIME

Aki Hayakawa

writing this kinda pinched my heart a little 🥲

cw: hyperventilation, angst

919 words

Y/n paced around the office nervously. Biting down on her nails wouldn’t be enough to contain her anxiousness at the current moment.

This feeling was of course normal and natural. It was part of the system that evolved to keep people safe and well. It was an alarm system of sorts, one you should heed.

One you should always heed.

Unfortunately this time, she chose to ignore it because of her lover’s persistence and eagerness.

News was received that there was more information on the gun devil’s whereabouts and Aki was so quick to accept the mission.

Y/n knew the reasons as to why he wanted to pursue the Gun devil but she also worried for his safety.

She tried, she really did.

She tried to talk him out of it because of the feeling that was welling deep inside her chest, a feeling of uneasiness.

He managed to calm her down by promising to come back alive and well.

“I’ll never forgive him if he breaks his promise”, she said with bated breath.

“All that worrying won’t do you any good Y/n. Try to calm down”, Himeno tapped her shoulder with her cigarette, offering it to her but she shrugged her off.

She never smoked, she didn’t like when Aki did it either, but old habits die hard as they say.

These next few hours of her life would either pass as a blip or they would be the final trauma that breaks her. Soon enough, she would find it to be the latter.

The next sound that was heard was the hinges of the door squeaking open, alerting the two women that someone was stepping in.

It was a man Y/n remembered to have accompanied Aki on his mission.

She looked up to him with hopeful eyes, she figured no words had to be said from her. Her pupils and facial expressions clearly displayed what she wanted to know.

“The mission was a success..”, he started.

Y/n let out a sigh from deep down in her chest, a small smile making way to her lips. That meant Aki was alive and breathing, or so she concluded.

“I’m glad to hear that”, she gently clasped her hands together against her chest. “Where’s Aki right now?”, she asked happily.

When she saw the man’s features dulling, her smiled faded as fast as her hands unclasped. She frantically looked from the man to Himeno in disbelief.

“H-he’s fine, right?”.

No response.

But the silence spoke louder than any words could. In fact, the silence laughed at her. It mocked her as if to brag of its undeserving feat.

Terror overtook her face and sadness clouded her heart.

“Don’t tell me…”, her voice was barely audible. “I l-lost him?”.

She lost him.

“I’m sorry”, the man clenched his fists in a useless attempt to stop tears from threatening his eyes. He quickly exited the room so he wouldn’t have to hear her weeps. It was futile though.

Y/n found that she couldn't draw in her usual lung-full, as if concrete had been poured into her airways. She clutched her shirt tightly into her fist.

The panic drove her to start gasping, breathing as if the oxygen had been sucked from the air around her. Y/n doubled over and fell to her knees, one weak hand on the ground to support her weight.

Already her thoughts were becoming jumbled, like she was in a nightmare rather than the simplistic office.

Himeno quickly rushed to her side and embraced her tightly.

“Let it all out. You can cry, it’s okay”, Himeno rubbed her back and squeezed her eyes shut as to ensure no tears slip down her cheeks.

Y/n knew how things would go from here. They would all act as if it were a noble sacrifice for their sake, that by loving his memory, the mourning would become a wholesome and wonderful thing. But the truth was they were cowards, every last one of them in this dammed association.

“So…cruel”, she murmured through her tears. It was cruel that none of them were willing to see the difference between honourable self sacrifice and murder. She hoped guilt will one day destroy them from the inside out.

Y/n let out a scream as tears came out of her eyes in pools and her nails dug into Himeno’s arm.

Aki didn’t deserve an early death.

“Please Himeno..”, she wailed, almost like a child as she averted her half-lidded and heavily red eyes to the woman who was embracing her. “Bring him b-back, Aki”, she stuttered through her quick huffs, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably.

Himeno pursed her lips. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t think there were any words to console her at this moment in time. She could only offer her presence.

All she ever prayed for was to be in his arms forever. His love was everything to her. He made her feel so good about herself, he was kind to her, so very kind.

She would do absolutely anything to just hold him one more time.

But that was a wish that could only be granted in her dreams,

For these hours were only the start of the longest and darkest night there ever was.

Masterlist :)

a/n: I love writing angst, also no manga spoilers please

[gojou-violin]

ok. this is dark... like... really dark. never written anything like this before. so, uh. warning. but i had a thought for a csm/aki fanfic.... but i'm too lazy to write another book, so. the thought just gets yoinked onto here <3

| tw: suicide, csm manga spoilers, character(s) death(s), trying for kids cuz aki's desperate. please, please, please. heed this warning. i've never written anything like it before and i actually am starting to feel bad about posting it... please read with caution.

| a/n: i finished writing this just now. it's not as bad as i thought it was going to be-- i kind of chickened out of making it as bad as it was in my head...... but please still be careful reading if you're triggered by suicide or s/h in any way.

resources if you need help

this day was kind of inevitable.

aki told you from the get-go when you started flirting with him and he caught on to what you wanted, that his time was limited. the deals he'd made with demons were adding up. according to his own calculations, he had a little over six years to live. to you, though, that didn't matter, because you'd known him for a while through the police department you were both friends with, and you always found him interesting and thought that he was kind, so why not try to cultivate something between the two of you.

to you, any time with aki was worth it.

when you started dating, he told you that his time left was five years. whatever. that was a long time. it was enough to know him, to fall in love, to cherish him, and to feel important to him. five years was a long time. you'd make it count.

by the time your one year anniversary came about, he only had three years left. that was okay. it was still a lot of time... it just meant that you had to do everything a bit... faster... none of it changed how you felt about him, though-- you loved him. you told him as much on that day while he was sobbing, apologizing for trapping you in his life, making you suffer beside a dying man.

aki never cried in front of you after that.

not even when he told you that he only had two years left. not even when he panicked about his dwindling days left with you and decided to drag you down to the courthouse to get married on a whim. not even when he told you that night that he was dreading his death because it meant you would have to live the rest of your life without him. and not even when he told you the next morning that you'd have to move on after he'd inevitably die. he insisted that you could mourn for a day or two, but after that, you had to find someone else, you had to live your life to the fullest because that was a gift he never had.

poor aki was so upset when makima forced him to house denji and power-- because no one knew that you were living with him already, that you were married, and that he was trying every day before work and every night after dinner to get you pregnant. your home was his safe space. being with you was the only time he felt somewhat sane. but makima had trampled that peace by sending a fiend and a possessed human to live with you, ruining any "alone time" you and aki could possibly have.

eventually, though, denji and power left to go live elsewhere, and you and aki were back to it. he seemed a bit more desperate now. you could tell that there'd been some kind of change in him over the past few weeks; but you tried not to mention it because you were worried that it would only upset him more. so you just tried to be there for him. did he want breakfast? no. did he want snacks for the drive to work? no. did he want his favorite meal for dinner? no. did he want to fuck you-- yes. it was frustrating that he had closed himself off to you, but how could you complain when you only had two years left with him and needed to make every second count? it wasn't worth sulking or being angry.

you couldn't recall the last time someone physically knocked on your door. solicitors never dropped by, aki didn't tell anyone besides power and denji where you lived, and you didn't tell any of your friends that you moved in with him... so who could have possibly been at the door?

this day was kind of inevitable.

"i'm sorry..." denji couldn't bear to even look you in the eyes as he dropped the wedding ring in your hand. "if you, uh.. if you ever... need anything... just, uh... lemme know..."

you only got a quick glimpse of makima waiting at the car with a slight grin after denji left your door, his head hanging low like a sad puppy, his steps weak and dragging under him like he barely had any will to live left in him. how makima could be smiling at a time like this... you weren't sure...

when you closed the door, you put the ring down on the table, letting it rest next to the negative pregnancy test that you'd taken minutes prior. it was pretty much the same thing every week. aki would fuck you, you'd take a test, you'd both pray it would come back positive, you'd be disappointed, and then you'd just have to try again. when you heard the knock at the door, part of you was expecting it to be aki who somehow got locked out, and you were ready to show him the test before crying in his arms... but you never expected in a million years that it would have been denji, delivering the worst news imagineable.

two years. what happened to that? where had all the time you and aki had left gone to? what happened at work for his time to dwindle so quickly? was that why he was so upset? did he know that he was going to die sooner yet he refused to tell you? why wouldn't he tell you something like that?

was it because he knew what you were thinking about?

did he know how much you were going to hurt without him?

did he realize that you loved him so much that you couldn't bear to live without him?

you had decided a while ago that if your two years approached its end and you weren't pregnant or had a family by then, that you'd join aki. it was easier that way. he made you promise after you got married that you'd move on once he'd die, but you knew, and you were sure that he knew it, too, that it was impossible to love anyone else after him. aki was the only one.

the ring and the test sat on the table as the chair clattered after being kicked to the side.

[d10nsaint]

VELVET CROWBAR ❘ AKI HAYAKAWA

“YOURE LIKE CRACK TO ME, I DONT WANT TO LEAVE, IM WATCHING YOU SLEEP.”

tags: Obsession (reader is a lust devil obsessed with aki) Spoilers,gun fiend! Aki, delusional! reader,drafted & beta read by @acuriousmoon

LIFE is a velvet crowbar.

something so luxurious looking, so rich, something you’re lucky to have. So soft on the eyes, a flame colored paradise. Yet, it can be used against you. Its cold to the touch even though its soft on the eyes, and it could reel you in and lock you into its soft, luxurious hold. It could hit you over the head and have such force that you’d bleed over the head, but it’d make you want more. Thats how you saw Aki. He was your life.

He’s beautiful. Yours. He knows it. He’s your beautiful life.

You saved him. He loves you. Your life loves you.

And you love him as you see the barrel of the M1911 that was where is eyes should be on your forehead. Your life endangers you.

He looked so handsome.

You both had loved each other through every single incident, from when you met him as a human, to when you had become a Hybrid on a misson, to when he had become a fiend—how he was now.

Nothing had changed. He was still your Aki.

He turned his head to you, Pressing his left forearm,which you had studied to be a M4, to your chest.

“Aki? Are you gonna shoot me again?”

He didn’t know what he was doing, why else would he try and hurt you? Aki loved you, he surely did. And your love for him ran deeper than the ocean, than the rivers. You loved him with all of your little devilish heart. You watched him press it deep into your chest, again. Its just his nature, he’s new to this. You knew it. He just can’t control his devilish nature, but its okay. He can hurt you as much as you want. You know he just loves you and doesn’t know how to say it.

You had to watch over him, to make sure he doesn’t hurt people. That was your deal with Makima—that you make him your pet and tame him, in exchange to keep him alive. You were risking yourself and thousands of people for him. You were willing to risk that just for your love, Aki.

You sucked in a breath. You’d let him stab you, drink your blood, kill everyone around you, if it meant that he could be happy.

“Aki,” You just loved the way his named rolled off your tongue like honey—It sounded like Heaven. He was Heaven. Heaven was in your bedroom, Heaven is holding you at gunpoint, Heaven is about to shoot you, but Heaven loves you.

Your mind and your heart raced even more when he pressed the gun on his face to your forehead even harder than before. His left arm still hadn’t left your chest. Anticipation coursed through you— it did every time he did this, Every time he was going to shoot you.

“Aki, I love you.” You’d said it so many times under your breath before, but this one came out like it was your last words.

“I dont care.”

What?

“Go to hell, you damned devil.”

oh.

oh.

Ah. So that’s how it is. Even when he was a fiend with his memories wiped clean,even if he was entranced by a you, a lust devil, his hatred for devils still won no matter what.

Makima knew all along. That was why she agreed to your terms of the contract. She fucking knew you’d never been with your beloved in this life again, or the next.

She was in control of everything and everyone.

You could only stare at the barrel, warm tears stinging in your eyes as the safety mechanism went off with a ‘click’.You knew that even after he shot you, you’d come back. You’d come back to him, and he’d hate you for eternity.