#all he's doing tomorrow is going on a treadmill for 6 minutes and having an echo its not like hes having an op or anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heymeowmao · 2 years

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2022.04.23 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321324761487066661030

I need to get up early tomorrow so I’ll definitely only stream a short while this time~~

LYN: Hallo everybody I am Modern Brothers’ Liu Yuning. Welcome~

C: What’s look are we going for today? LYN: My look is just random. I don't necessarily have to be going for something in particular.

C: I finally caught up! LYN: You always watched my playbacks and never caught me live before? Well since you’re here, don’t leave. Have a meal before you go. I hope you can stick with me until the end.

C: I knew you would stream today. LYN: What do you know? If you’re going to say that, next time I’ll stream on a Thursday.

C: Your hair is so greasy. LYN: What do you know?!! This is called the “wet-hair” look, do you know it?

LYN: It’s Saturday- I figure everyone is taking a break and are at home. I thought that maybe Saturday would be better for a lot of you, because I know that when I stream on Sundays you have to sleep early for work or school the following Monday. So today I’m streaming on a Saturday. I’m competing for views with Hi!6 now. Of course, I can’t beat them. I was just saying.

C: Ning-ge, did you get thinner? LYN: I didn’t- perhaps you’ve become used to looking at me now? At first glance you think nothing of me- looks normal. But the more you look at me the more you’ll find I look “human”. So you have to watch me for a long time to get used to me. I’m like- white rice. It’s normal but you can’t go a meal without it. C: Ning-ge isn’t thinner, he turned on the beauty filter. LYN: It’s not the first time it’s ever been on.

- not trying to cosplay anyone, was just shopping on taobao and wanted to change up his look - changed the mic back bc this one is more comfortable and it’s good enough for streaming (the new one is a bit TOO GOOD for streaming, he doesn’t want to break it)

C: How are your basketball skills? LYN: I don’t know how to play. I may be tall but I really don’t play ball well. Why? Because I don’t have enough physical strength/stamina. If I play for three minutes they’re going to have to call me out. One more minute and I WILL vomit- and the floor’s not going to be easy to clean. C: Not a single sporty cell in his body. LYN: That’s not true, I can play jianzi pretty well. I have sports cells, they’re just for a different sport.

C: The sound’s small. LYN: Is the sound still small today? This mic is nearly shoved straight into my mouth and it’s still small?? How about this- wear some headphones. The other option is to turn your phone volume up!

C: Do you watch kdramas? LYN: Limited. I don’t really watch a lot. When I was little I watched “Winter Sonata”. When I grew up I watched “That Winter, The Wind Blows”, “You Who Came From the Stars”, “Secret Garden”- or was it “Secret Forest”? I forgot. I don’t watch them that often. Lately I’ve been watching a bit of Lee Junki’s “Again My Life” but it’s so slow. I don’t WATCH but since the episodes are about an hour long, I’ll play them while I’m on the treadmill.

C: I want to connect mics! LYN: What for? You’re not satisfied with just the chat anymore, you want to speak face-to-face?

C: Who Rules The World’s “Unparalleled” sounds very nice! LYN: It’s alright. This style of song is what I’m best at. C: What aren’t you good at? LYN: Um... rap. C: I thought you weren’t good at high notes. LYN: No! High notes don’t even count as a “genre”... C: Then let’s hear you rap. LYN: 去你的. I won’t. I won’t try any rap today but we’ll chat first and if the mood strikes me I’ll sing a song or two. Let’s just have a nice and happy weekend.

C: It’s my birthday. LYN: Happy Birthday! I hope everything goes well for you this year. Happy Birthday. C: It’s my birthday too! LYN: Happy Birthday to all of you. Anyone whose birthday it is today.

- Floating World will wrap around 5/10 - Detective Plan is still on hold bc of the pandemic (airing may be delayed as well) LYN: I actually don’t have a lot of time this year to put towards variety shows. A person’s time in a year is limited, it just depends on what they put it towards. For example, you’ll leave some time to attend events. Most of my time is spend in a drama crew- if I want to do three dramas a year that already doesn’t leave me with a lot of time left. For variety shows, the most I can so in a year is two. Some variety shows also require you to record for a several days at at time. What drama crew is going to give you that much time off?? So you have to choose. My choice is between shooting a drama or shooting a variety show. It depends on what’s more important to people, I guess. I think dramas are a little more important.

C: When is Heroes airing? I’m really looking forward to it. LYN: Don’t look forward to it TOO much. If you give something too much attention it’s going to be criticized that much more. It doesn’t matter if it has a good reception or not, some people just blindly criticize. So don’t look forward to it too much, just think of it as entertainment and watch it with lowered expectations. LYN: It’s strange. For example- I am a singer. And then “GWA” I’ve gone into acting. Some people may watch my dramas just to see how I do- and unexpectedly, they find I’m not bad. It’s not because I think I’m a good actor or because viewers think I’m a good actor- it’s because they didn’t have any expectations from me to begin with, since they all thought I was a singer. All they know is I stream night and day, warble a song or two, and I didn’t fail at acting. So I hope that when you watch my dramas you don’t have very high expectations. C: “GWA”. LYN: Yeah, I come onto the scene and “gwa”- a frog is here. Other people’s intro bgm is so cool, but my intro bgm is “gwa.” “GWA”- Liu Yuning is here. LYN: I REALLY don’t know when Heroes will air, though. I was talking to the production yesterday and- Heroes is a Tencent production. Right now TC is airing Who Rules the World. After that I heard that they’re going to air A Dream of Splendor! If that’s the case we’re going to get pushed to behind THAT drama. It all depends on the platform. C: Push them. LYN: Who do I think I am?? No actor has ever pushed for their drama to be aired faster- they’re going to ignore me. It’s fine if A Dream of Splendor airs, though. Because I have a song it that drama, too.

C: How’s voice-acting for Zi Chuan going? LYN: There are 48 episodes. It’s not that difficult because I already said the lines once when we were filming in the first place. I only need to repeat myself. Also, I don’t really have a lot of scenes in ZC. Usually a 2nd or 3rd male lead will have around 200 scenes max. In 48 episodes I only have 200 scenes. It’s not a lot.

LYN: It’s already been a year since you last saw me in a drama. You haven’t seen me in a year- I think that’s a little cruel. Of course, it’s because I only just made it into this industry. I haven’t acted in a lot of things yet. C: So long already? LYN: Right? If no one told me I wouldn’t have thought of it myself. // My hope is that two of my dramas can air this year. C: But my year has been filled with you. LYN: Yeah, because I stream all the time! People are easily forgotten in this day and age. I just wanted to keep appearing in front of you. Even if you don’t like me, I’ll come annoy you. Just so you all won’t forget me.

LYN: I’m looking forward to Heroes airing as well. It’s a role I was quite attentive for- of course, I am attentive for all my drama roles- I just think this character was particularly rich. So I look forward to the day people can finally see him. But I take care for all of my roles- It’s not that I don’t. C: Almost misspoke, lol. LYN: No, no- I pay attention for all of my roles. For me, I don’t want to fool around with my work- you’re not fooling the platform or other people, if you don’t work properly you’re only fooling yourself. In this industry, word-of-mouth and reputation gets around fast. Let’s not even talk about producers- even in the makeup room. Sometimes I chat with the makeup artists, and tell them who I’ve been working with lately. And they’ll ask me, “Oh, do you know so-and-so?” and “Do they slack off over there, too?” I asked them, “What do you mean?” They replied that they had worked together with that person before and found them really lacking. I’m not trying to target any particular person, I just want people to know that your reputation in a drama crew is always in the backs of peoples minds. Even the makeup artists have something to comment on your personal character- how terrifying is that? - hasn’t met anyone who has slacked off/is particularly shameless on set before, but if he does work someone like that one day he’s going to expose them in a stream the very next day. just try him. LYN: Some people care too much about their position. For me, I know- once you reach a certain level- it’ll come with its own perks. For example... like with photo-shoots. If there are 7-8 artists together in one photo, some people care a lot about where in the photo they are positioned. They look for the perfect center, or where they think they’ll stand out the most. I am more clear on this myself- I don’t care where you put me. I don’t even care if you don’t want me in the picture, though that’s a little unwarranted. All programs have their own positioning/ranking- where they put you in the photo is where you lie in their hearts. If you have to challenge them and demand to be in a certain position, your standing in their minds is going to lower. LYN: Speaking honestly, if they automatically put you in the center that means that among all these famous artists, you’re doing the best right now. That, or they want to use you to reach a wider audience. There’s no use in fighting for that spot. So when I am looking to join a program I’m happy as long as they’ll have me. They can also not want me, that’s fine too. Unless I have offended the program in some way and they erased me from the program entirely. XD - it’s all about keeping up appearances

C: Ning-ge, do you think there is any difference between people in the entertainment industry and regular people? LYN: This question... it’s very good! Makes it sound like I’m some sort of mole. Is there a difference...? I don’t think so. We’re all people. We all eat- we’re all eating the same thing: rice. It’s not like normal people eat rice and people in entertainment eat pearls. It’s all the same. The process is the same. It’s just a different profession. I used to be a fuwuyuan (waiter) and now I’m a yanyuan (actor) - they both have the same “yuan” character. - goes on to give examples of how you need to “act” in the service industry; and as an actor, you treat your acting partner as your customer- lol, no- treat the viewers as the customer so that they have a pleasant viewing experience C: But actors make more money. LYN: Not necessarily. A lot of supporting actors probably don’t make as much as you can as a waiter. You have to know- only when you reach the highest point in an industry, can you make a lot of money. In any industry. As long as you’re at the top, your income will be more than that of just normal people. LYN: You just don’t know, but you can make money in any industry. No matter what profession you’re in right now, as long as you keep progressing, you’re going to be making more than other people. You don’t need to be jealous of someone else’s job. Just be yourself. Do it to the best of your ability. - someone asked him why he switched jobs, then. (from waiter > actor) and he says because he already reached the highest management position he could in service and decided to switch to a different profession. LYN: No one is better than anyone else, no one is more important. The only thing that matters is whether you value yourself or not. C: When are you going to be a director? LYN: I can’t. Do you think if you keep progressing as an actor you’ll eventually become a director?? That’s not necessary. This is like being a waiter in the restaurant industry.. and then later becoming a chef. They’re two different things- different skill sets. I was thinking, when I’m too old to be an actor I could become a producer instead. We’ll make our own dramas and projects. Of course, that’s just me speaking nonsense.

C: Ning-ge, does streaming count as rest time? LYN: Streaming, to me, is a way to relax. But it’s like going to the amusement park for a day- you’re relaxed but at the end of the day you’re still tired. Feeling “relaxed” and feeling “tired after relaxing” don’t conflict. Don’t think me streaming for 4 hours is like a thai massage. I’m relaxed in mind but tired in body. I’ve told you before haven’t I? Every time after I stream my cheeks hurt. I’m not kidding. I relax my mind but my face really hurts. C: Why does your face hurt? LYN: Because... after I stop streaming I slap myself. C: You talked too much and your muscles are sore. LYN: That’s not it!! You must never have worked out before. C: My relaxation is watching your streams. LYN: It can’t be the ONLY way you relax. It’s just because that when you’re watching me stream- you’re probably definitely lying on your bed right now. That, or on the sofa. Maybe eating some snacks, too. You’re lying down but I’m sitting here blabbering- of course you’re going to be relaxed. C: Did you face get thinner from streaming (talking so much)? LYN: No, it got fatter. Because when I talk I exercise the jaw muscles so much they get bigger. When I stream less my face gets thinner.

C: You’re not going to eat fruits this time? LYN: No, because the lychees I ordered last time haven’t arrived yet.

C: Lao-ban, we’ve been working together for more than four years. Can we sign the contract yet? LYN: When I was young and dumb I promised my fans that if they liked me they counted as a working relationship- they were all one of my employees. But though on the surface you “come to work for me” there is actually no salary. There’s a clause that says there’s no salary for the first three years, but on the fourth year the pay is 10,000RMB/month. Normally, none of my “employees” can hang in there for long enough. I usually fire them right around three years. XD “I’m sorry, you’re not suitable for this company.” C: Is the Modern Brothers Company so cruel? LYN: It’s already very humane. Do you know of any other company whose boss will come and chat with you for four-five hours? Plus, a boss that doesn’t yell at you? The most I’ll do is talk back once or twice. These working conditions are already decent enough. LYN: I know of someone who used to do admin stuff for me, and they would help me promote this or that. Their mother asked them, “You always do so much for LYN, is he giving you a salary or what?” They told their mother, “Mom, you don’t understand. I’m able to do so much for him that other people would be falling over themselves to do. I’m LEARNING right now. Other people WANT this job but can’t do it. You’re messing with me. Money is insignificant. Youth is all about learning.” Their mom listened to all of that and probably thought, “Yes, it is nice to learn something while you’re young.”

- talks about how a fan of his got scammed by someone pretending to be him, for THREE years and scammed her out of a lot of money. restates again, that he would NEVER ask his fans for money, and also if anyone solicits in his fan-club they’re going to get blocked. 1. As long as someone asks you for money, block them. If you get tricked, don’t come looking for me. I’ve told you countless times already don’t borrow money or ask money from others. 2. If you add an account and you THINK it’s me, please remember that I would never bring up the topic of money with you. If there really were a scammer who spent three years chatting with you AND ALSO never asked you for money then I think they’re- they’re a good person. If you become friends with someone pretending to be me and they spend three years chatting with you, that’s fine. They can satisfy your mental state. But if they ask you for money, tell them to get lost. LYN: If you ever encounter this situation, you have to report them. Please remember I don’t have any other accounts and I don’t have the time to chat with any of you privately. Please don’t get tricked. LYN: If you ever add an account that you think is me, how about this? Ask to borrow money FROM “me”. Don’t wait for them to bring up the money topic. Bring it up yourself- ask for 10,000RMB to start. If they don’t lend it to you, they’re probably a scammer. If they don’t block you AND continue to chat with you, then they’re 100% a scammer. I have a policy- if anyone asks me for money the first thing I’ll do is block them. I don’t give them a second chance to say something to me. You can use this as a method to determine whether an account is mine or not. C: Ning-ge, what if they agree to lend me the money? LYN: Then that’s definitely a scam. There’s no way I’d lend you money. It’s still fake. C: Then, it’s real. LYN: It’s not! If they lend it to you, it’s a scam, then your next step will be paying them back. If you don’t pay them back then YOU become the scammer. Don’t do that.

C: I brought three of my roommates out to dinner and we’re watching your stream. We’re laughing to “death.” LYN: See? A lot of you may not be my fans but look at how interesting they are. Promoting me everywhere. They went out to eat- you’re not even going to let them digest a bit, but are shoving me down their throats? What a wonderful friend. C: My roommate said you’re noisy. LYN: What do you mean? First- perhaps your volume is on too high. Turn the sound down or plug in your headphones, you probably have bothered them. Secondly- they probably think I;’m noisy because they haven’t seen my handsome face yet. Here, move the screen over and let them see my face. If they still think I’m noisy then wear your headphones. Bring your phone to your friend right now. ~~ You Are My Destiny~~ C: My roommate says you’re just average. LYN: ... LYN: I’m like this and they think I’m average? I can guarantee- your roommate must not have a boyfriend, do they? Their expectations are too high!! C: My roommate says you’re fake. LYN: :’) It’s fine- they just don’t understand me. You’ll meet a lot of people in life and sometimes you just don’t get along. It’s alright. It doesn’t matter. There are so many of you (fans), I’m not missing that one person. Hmph. C: My roommate says you’re very white. LYN: See? This roommate is not bad. Please tell your roommate that I’m so white because I put on some foundation earlier and there are two big lights pointed at my face. C: My roommate says you’ve gone overboard with the beauty filter. LYN: ?_? I think there’s a real discrepancy here. Tell them to Baidu me for pictures of me in my drama roles and in variety shows. Ask them if they think there’s a big difference. If you think there’s a big difference, there’s nothing I can say. C: My mom says you’re greasy. LYN: I don’t know which “greasy” your mother is referring to? Aunty- hello. Do you mean that my hair is greasy or that I am a little greasy? I don’t know. My hair- Aunty- this is called the “wet hair” look. I wanted to make it look like I just got out of a pool. Because my look today is “sporty” and when you play sports you sweat, and when you sweat you shower, so I have a “wet hair” look going. If you mean that I myself am greasy... that’s a little uncalled for, Aunty. Married as you are, it’s not like you haven’t seen all sorts of men before. I’m not THAT greasy. C: My roommate says you’re a “小白脸”. (boy toy) LYN: /smirk/ Some people are starting to... Look, if you want to yell at me, just do do. Don’t blame it on your roommate! Take some responsibility and own up to what you want to say. Don’t always blame it on your roommate. People always say “I have a friend...”, but you’re over here with “I have a roommate...” C: My roommate says you’re handsome. LYN: They must not have seen the world much. This is considered handsome? :) /happy about it/ - the best way to marry lyn? go to sleep. C: My roommate wants to know how they can dream of you. LYN: Are we talking medicine now? How to dream of a person? It’s very easy- watch my stream before you sleep and then listen to my voice while you fall asleep. The probability of you dreaming of me will be greater. As for other methods, I really don’t know.

-- bathroom break -- C: Did you borrow the neighbor’s bathroom? LYN: ?_? I don’t need to. I have my own.

C: What’s the topic of your stream? LYN: The topic... promoting my dramas. But none have aired yet... My stream has no topic. I just chitchat. I don’t know about you- but you know how there are always Aunties gathered in the neighborhood just chatting? I’m one of those.

LYN: Hold on- I think I have a jianzi at home. Should I demonstrate, and we can work out together? Wait for me. C: I don’t have a jianzi though. LYN: Then just kick the air! Let’s find some suitable music. We’ll turn into an exercise stream. But this jianzi isn’t very good... Hold on- Let me tidy up. I don’t want to accidentally kick the cabinet. - test kicks LYN: Oh, you can’t see my face. I’m a little long, please excuse me. Also I don’t have a lot of space. It’s fine, you can just watch my legs. - kicks for two minutes LYN: My friends. /huffing/ I- /huffing/ I need to go now. /huff huff/ I’m gonna go. /huff/ And then- /barfing sound/ You guys rest early. The thing about exercise is.. you’ve got to know your own limits. C: You’re a little weak. LYN: Stop pushing me! How about YOU try it?? This is- Because I- (At this rate) Clearly I can’t play basketball. LYN: What other content did you want to see? I’ll fulfill your requests right now. Mukbang, was it? I’ll eat this jianzi. Eat feathers.

C: Ning-ge, how come you can kick a jianzi but you can’t dance? LYN: Dancing and kicking a jianzi are two different things. I just can’t dance. I’m really jealous of people who can dance and I wish I can- hold on, let me take these shoes off- but I just can’t (dance). C: Bad coordination. LYN: Right. // Hey- I’ve noticed something- if someone takes their shoes off during a stream all of you will say it smells. Can you smell it??? Also- my feet don’t stink! This is a strange topic of conversation... but my feet really don’t smell. C: If they don’t smell that means you’re not healthy. LYN: I’d rather be unhealthy than have stinky feet. // I’m too old to have stinky feet now.

C: I’m a new fan, is LYN always like this? LYN: Normally, I’m better than this. I just did two minutes of cardio- my brain is lacking oxygen so now I’m spewing nonsense.

- sings 昨日少年; “This is my own song!” - prepping to sing 无双; “I haven’t sung this live before, I don’t know how it’ll turn out.”

C: My roommate is breaking up with her boyfriend right now. LYN: What are you telling me for?? What does it have to do with me?

LYN: When I recorded for Unparalleled, I had to put in a lot of effort. It was a little high. I’ll try though. - finishes singing LYN: There’s something wrong with the mic today, it’s all over the place. I used too good of a mic last time and now my computer isn’t suited for anything else. (he put the new one away)

C: The camera keeps moving. LYN: ?? /tests out tapping the table/ It’s fine- it’s because I adjusted it earlier when I was kicking the jianzi. It’s ok. Just let it move. It’ll give the stream a sense of “movement.”

- finished recording the CLJ OST already LYN: Each drama has it’s own schedule, and I can’t reveal anything until they’re ready. There’s nothing I can say. The drama will say when it’s ready, I can’t tell you anything. C: What are you saying, I don’t understand. LYN: I’m telling you! My streams are all connected. If you just started watching today, you’ll have no idea what’s happening. Each stream I tell a new story, but perhaps a few streams in the future I’ll say something that has to do with today’s stream. So, if you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please do so. Thank you. Please don’t miss out on this continuing narrative.

C: It’s my birthday, can you wish me a happy birthday. LYN: You came in too late. I already wished everyone a happy birthday today. How about this- when I stop streaming you can watch the playback. about half an hour earlier than this point I wished everyone celebrating their birthday today a happy birthday. You can go back and watch it. I already wished you one. You came too late.

C: Ning-ge, has your next next drama been confirmed yet? LYN: What’s a “next next” drama? Have I gotten to the point where I haven’t even confirmed my next drama, but I have my next NEXT drama confirmed? I don’t think it works that way.

C: Someone said you were talented. LYN: Who did you hear that from? I really want to know. Well, I don’t really care- but you have to spread the word for this one. Tell people about this more- that I’m “talented”. I’m afraid of the day people start calling me useless, so you can spread the word about this one. C: You aren’t going to dispute it? LYN: Is it what a media account said about me? I won’t fight them this time. Because what they said is the truth.

- someone said he was blinking his eyes a lot. it’s not because he’s tired, it’s because he’s thinking. LYN: When I stream I may look calm on the outside but my mind is constantly spinning. What can I say and what can’t I say. How should I reply to some of these comments? I have to consider each one. You think streaming is easy? Like all I have to do is sit here and tell you what I ate today, and what cosmetic products I’m using? C: Are you lying to us? LYN: I already told you to only believe 20% of what I say here. The other 80%.. I can’t say it’s lies but I CAN say it’s nonsense.

- explains his hair again, because people keep commenting on it LYN: I saw the last time you all thought it was too long and it was blocking my eyes. Some of you wanted to pull my hair back for me, so I thought about it and designed this hair just for you. I brought my bangs up. Now you’re saying that my hairline is too high. :( LYN: I saw that comment about my hairline multiple times and I ignored it each time. What are you trying to pull?? Watch out or I’ll kick you out. Kick you like a jianzi straight out of my stream. LYN: My hairline’s FINE. The problem is these two big lights lighting up my forehead. C: Suddenly very aggressive. LYN: Everyone has a weakness, you happened to find mine.

LYN: When I’m streaming I use humor to make you happy. When I’m on variety shows I use my wits to make you happy. In a drama I perform a role to make you happy. Each one is different. Here, humor is all I need. C: Ning-ge, you said you didn’t have an idol burden. LYN: I don’t have an "idol burden”; but it depends on what for. It’s not a matter of having an “idol burden” or not, it’s plainly a matter of eyesight. What I mean about “idol burden” depends on my future projects. You can say I’m ugly but if you say my hairline is a problem- I still have a product sponsor right now! You’re cutting off my way to make a living!!

C: I’m your visual fan. LYN: I know I have a few of those, because my visual is hard to get. I’m not like other people, who you can get their visuals with just a glance. I’m hard to understand, but once you do it’ll be like winning the lottery. LYN: But I feel like faces are something that don’t last. I mean in 100 years it’s all going to go to waste. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are. It doesn’t matter. I think what’s most important is your vitality and spirit, and what you can leave behind on this planet.

C: When the pandemic is over, where will the first stop of your concert be? LYN: It isn’t confirmed yet. You’re still way too early. Also, there are a lot of different processes to go through, and the venue might not necessarily be open when the time comes. Isn’t it all the same, anyway? You still have to come (travel to) see me. LYN: I see a lot of people advising me to do an online concert, since that’s what many others are doing, and say that they’re willing to pay the price. The problem with that is the internet is my domain. I CAN do an online concert, but if I do it will definitely be for free. LYN: People have contacted me, too. Saying they specialize in online concerts and that they will have a stage and all the equipment ready for me, and that they’ll help me sell tickets or whatever. But I don’t want to. If I ever do an online concert it will definitely be free. Because I’m always online, and I sing all the time here. If I ask you for money I feel like I’m scamming you. C: But I want to pay. LYN: You can, when I have an in-person concert again. The most charming aspect of a concert is how you feel when you’re there. It’s about hanging out with a bunch of other people and feeling the sound of the music surrounding you, not about the person singing on stage. If I were watching an online concert, I’d rather be watching an MV. MVs are so detailed nowadays. So, I don’t think I’ll do an online concert but thank you for the suggestion. C: It’s like the difference between watching a movie on your phone and watching a movie in the theater. LYN: That’s right! Let me tell you- the day online concerts will be worth it is when VR technology advances. When you can sit at home, put on a pair of goggles and be “there”. Put on your headphones and experience the audio from a concert venue. That would be awesome. But I don’t think it’ll happen in the next 10 years. LYN: I just want to ask- how many people have VR at home? and I’m not talking about that box you stick your phone into. C: What’s “VR”? I have a VCR. LYN: What “VCR”? You must mean VCD.

- thinking about having a “concert” live-stream and inviting some musicians (other than DF and AZ- otherwise that would just be the Carnation Music Festival 3.0); nothing too fancy, but also nothing like he’s done before. - reiterates that he’ll never use his stream to make money and that’s part of the reason he doesn’t try to sell anything; also that when he makes and releases music, it will always be free. just the fact that people want to listen to his music is good enough for him.

C: Have you ever considered connecting with fans on stream before? LYN: I used to. But I want to consider everyone’s feelings. Because the thing is- the fan who connects with me may be too excited and say some things in excitement that other fans will attack them for. I don’t think it’s worth it to bring them and myself trouble like this. LYN: Also, I have a lot of fan circles, and I’ve been seeing some upsetting things in them. I just want to say- I want you all to be happy. I don’t let you make fan-clubs so you can go around making trouble. It’s clear to me that certain people (fake fans) are stringing others along. That’s not necessary. If that’s the case then I don’t need any fan-clubs and I will disperse them. LYN: I don’t care what for, if you have a problem, confront me about it. I may not know you but I stream for you and chat with you, leave me some face. Leave my fans alone and come for me. LYN: Some people have “lead fans”- whatever they say represents the fan-club as a whole. My fan-club doesn’t, because I’M the biggest authority. I don’t allow a “lead fan” to exist; rather, I AM the “lead fan.” Usually my fans will be on my wavelength, because I always stream. That’s the greatest thing about my stream- If I have any thoughts or need you to do something I’ll tell you all directly. I’m the one teaching you how to like me. I don’t want our fans to have inner disputes, let alone disputes with other fans. I just want you to be happy in our own little bubble. LYN: If you have nothing better to do, make some video clips or do some digging and watch my past streams. If you’ve had enough of that then watch dramas. Don’t waste your time with useless things.

LYN: It’s my honor that so many of you are watching my stream. If you’re still here then in my heart you are my idol. You have such good taste. LYN: If you are Er-lang, then I am Liu Xiao Tian [Quan] (Howling Celestial Dog) by your side. We come in pairs. - still can’t get over that one person saying he looks like the Celestial Dog. LYN: Do you know how much that hurts a kid who just debuted?! A thirty-something year old child... being called a Celestial Dog... /cries/ C: I’m the princess, and you’re the frog. LYN: Get lost.

C: How come it turned into a comedy stream? LYN: I’ve always been like this. LYN: When I first debuted I got a lot of hate, which I can understand, because I looked annoying. Not that I WAS annoying- people just thought I was fake. If a normal person looked at me they can have that impression. But people who really know me will know that I’m... not. To other people I may seem cold/indifferent and fake. People who really understand me know that I am.. just a normal Dongbei boy. C: I think you’re self-absorbed. LYN: Is that a crime?!? It’s a line from a drama... “Is being self-absorbed a crime?” LYN: I’m not. It’s like this- as a singer or an actor, you have to have something trait that is unique to you. Maybe a unique personality or mindset. You have to be different from others in some way, and that’s how you can even debut in the first place. You know? Especially for things art-related- you have to be different to get a chance. if you were the same as everyone else, what makes you so special?? I definitely have some things I am proud of but I will never be proud of a negative aspect.

C: Ning-ge, you look like my younger son. LYN: /sigh/... Uhm... thank you. First off, if I look like your son then that means at least you don’t hate me, right? He IS your son after all. Secondly, if your son really did look like me you must be happy on the inside. You can teach him to sing and dance and make him a celebrity. Train him well. That’s my advice.

C: You should try out to become a member of the Deyunshe. LYN: I really like and respect the art, but this art requires skill. Not anyone can just walk up and expect to be admitted. Just because you’re witty doesn’t mean you are qualified to be a cross-talk comedian. I’m not worthy. I’ll just stick to acting. I’m fine with singing, too. C: A talk show is fine too. LYN: I can’t do that, either. LYN: Streaming, acting, and singing is enough for me. Stop thinking of other industries I can break into, too. If I were able I’d open a restaurant. I just need to do well in acting, I don’t have the time to think about anything else. I’ve thought this through and I am very clear on my future choices, what dramas I choose to shoot, and my development. I’ll do things that suit me- I will still challenge myself, but only with things that I believe are within my range. - wants to hone his acting skills with second-third-fourth lead roles and guzhuang dramas first before he tries any male lead role, because he knows his limits. says he sees a lot of people, some who have only ever been in guzhuang dramas suddenly turn towards more modern dramas and not do as well. the reason is because historical dramas are outside the realm of our reality. no matter how you act in them (badly or not), viewers don’t find the acting excessive (because it’s a historical drama, and no one knows how people in those days acted or spoke). - acting in guzhuang vs modern dramas is two entirely different ways; Demonstrates: (natural and colloquial modern acting) vs (dramatic & a little over-exaggerated, with a different tone of voice guzhuang acting) LYN: Let me try it. I’ll use the guzhuang-style to answer your questions.

C: If you spoke like this in real life, would you be hit? LYN: Hmph! What type of society do we live in? A lawful one! Who dares to hit another just because they can? - C: Put on some guzhuang-style bgm to match. - C: My husband said you are not handsome. LYN: I believe men will always be jealous of another man better than himself. It’s possible.. I would never say another person is not handsome. I wish this young lady and her husband can live a long life together until their hair turns white. - C: Lao-da, how do you usually practice acting? LYN: I believe acting is a bit unintentional (?). Up until this moment I can say that I have never properly practiced acting, being a singer as I am. However, for some things you will find that the more you do it, you will begin to learn and eventually it will come naturally to you. If you have the chance, it is better to go out and experience this for yourselves. - C: I’m not used to this. LYN: What can I say? Sometimes I, too, will find myself unused to this. However, such is life. Not everything can be familiar. - LYN: /introduces his bathroom break in the guzhuang style too/

LYN: Our conversation right now probably isn’t the best, because usually I can exchange words (and here he is reading and replying). Sometimes on set we go the whole day using this style to communicate. Plus, we have to find the right tone of voice!

C: Ning-ge, when can we expect your drama? LYN: Perhaps in mid-May, though I am not clear on it myself. It matters not, however, as I am sure I will become a hot topic when it does. It is only a matter of becoming “hot” sooner or later. LYN: I was chatting with YCY and ZSX yesterday, and we were asking when the drama will air. I had heard mid-May, but they heard it would be later because A Dream of Splendor would be airing at that time instead. I told them not to worry, because when it DID air, we were sure to hit it big time. Maybe not “hot” but at least we’d upgrade a level. I told them it was only a matter of time. C: Who to blame if you don’t become popular? LYN: Of course it’s going to be the male and female leads (ZXS & YCY), definitely not me. :) LYN: This is the good thing about being a second male lead. If the drama gets popular, I get to take part in the glory of it. If it’s not popular, you can’t blame the second lead, and you DEFINITELY can’t blame the guy who sang the OST! You can’t base a drama’s popularity on whether the OST is sung well or not. I’ve never heard of such a reason.

LYN: If I put on a video that makes me look cooler, would you think I am “greasy”? Because a lot of my fans will make funny clips, but not many make clips for my visuals. // Forget it, I’ll just play a song. -- bathroom break -- LYN: I came back quick because I know a lot of people are coming in because of the trending topic, and I didn’t think it would be nice to have them come in to a video. I took off the best because it was too hot- my back was sweating. C: Don’t take it off, it looked good. LYN: If you think so, then just watch the playback. Watch the beginning, what’re you watching the later half for?

C: Can you push ALZ? LYN: I’m just an actor. When I’m streaming you think I’m the King. Weibo Livestream King. But in reality I’m just small and weak. Who am I to push for a faster airing date for ALZ?? I’m just a second-lead. If the male and female leads aren’t even pushing, what the heck am I doing it for? C: Ning-ge can do anything! LYN: I can’t do this. This industry is... it might be wrong of me to say, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. You think I’m naive and happy. No- the things I have to face every day are scary. You have to be careful to stay alive in this world. It’s difficult- not so happy like you’re all thinking. C: Then ask Reba to. LYN: ?? You don’t get it. What am I doing contacting her for no reason? Do I like her or something- wait. shouldn’t say that. Why would I contact her? Who do I think I am?? She’s likely to block me. It’s not necessary. - reiterates that he’ll only reveal things (like air dates and drama titles) when he can, when the production companies allow him to, so stop asking.

C: The bg music is too noisy. LYN: My goodness. You’re so hard to please. Let me play something quiet for you. - /starts playing New Year’s Song, with the firecrackers to start XD/ LYN: I’m afraid to play something quiet because my streams are very long and I don’t want you falling asleep and snoring on me. We’re working on a bar-like feel. See the neon lights in the back? I’m trying to keep you happy (and awake). If bars played lullabies I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to get your beer down.

C: Ning-ge, do the “bubble” sound? LYN: Why? Don’t you think a man who speaks with a “bubble” sound is greasy? I really don’t like talking like this. Because I’m afraid... people with say I’m greasy- and my hair is already that enough. And I heard that a lot of “disappointing” men speak this way. Do you want me to demonstrate? Like this: - Hey. What are you doing? -- Eating? - What are you eating? -- What’s it to you?? - Send me a picture, let me see. -- It’s in my friend’s circle (social media) - I don’t look at your social. Send me something others can’t see. -- I turned off the lights. It’s not convenient. - I want to see your bare face. Send me one. Hurry it up. -- No. - I’ll block you. C: You’re quite familiar with it... LYN: 去你的! What do you mean by that? Don’t forget that I’m an actor. I’m just imitating what I’ve seen online. - /continues with the skit/ - Oh. She deleted me. Hmph. She missed a good one.

C: That was a “disappointing” man, now let’s see an “addicting” one. LYN: It’s me. Right now. I am.

C: I’m a song fan, so sing a song quick. LYN: What do you mean by that- you’re a fan of my songs, so I OWE you one? Alright, fine. Are there any fans of my acting on scene today? Should I act out a piece for them, too? Didn’t I already? /bubble sound/ You can hear this sound when people sing because they use it to relax their vocal chords. C: I’m your dance fan. Dance for me. LYN: Unfortunately you’re in the wrong place for that. When have you ever seen me dance.

LYN: Ok, I’ll sing you a song. What should I sing? Hmm... Maybe something old, because there’s more likely to be accompaniments available for old songs. - sings 新鸳鸯蝴蝶梦 C: My mom sang along. LYN: Thank you- if you can sing along with me that means you really have a passion for music. This song is quite old, that’s right. I grew up listening to these songs and I learned to sing along- even though at the time I had no idea what it meant because I was too young to understand. But the melody is already carved deep into my brain.

- sings 追夢人 (halfway XD) C: Why did you stop? LYN: Because I suddenly realized that 3000+ people left while I was singing this song. No one seems to care about my music anymore. XD I have to give the people what they want.

C: You’re trending at #16. LYN: Thank you. Thanks to everyone who are watching my stream right now. This trending topic is all thanks to you. You helped to promote me. LYN: It’s about time. I’ll leave at 11pm today. I have to get up at 5a tomorrow, so I’ll leave at around 11p. No matter how hyped up I get, I’ll stop in my tracks. - someone says they don’t feel like anything’s happened at all this stream though, so how is he trending? so he tells them if they feel like doing something they can go into the topic and leave a comment/compliment. If they screen-cap their comment, later they can use it to get 5RMB off their ticket price for his concert XD if you have one such “coupon” from a previous “streaming event” sorry, you can only use one per concert (so you can’t stack them to get a free ticket) XDD

- ZXD is in the chat! (again!) C: Oh, she left. LYN: She got on the wrong account. - jokes around saying that when artists have nothing to do (not acting) they find other things to occupy their time; for example: zxd drives things from city to city (delivery driver, of sorts), zsx goes to a mall and becomes a shopping guide, ycy sells watermelons C: Ning-ge, you sell eggs. LYN: Oh, yeah. There are all sorts of videos that include me in them now, and I see people commenting “Who is LYN? I don’t know him” Which is fine- I understand if they don’t know me. It makes me happy, too- because that just means I’ll have a new friend soon. They’ll be introduced to me through the video, or at least become interested in me to some effect. LYN: Another thing is that I see a lot of friends reply to comments like these with “He’s an egg peddler.” If you see any comments like this in the future, you can all reply that I sell free-range eggs. You know how most eggs are collected from farms- mine I pick up from the ground. The chickens can lay them wherever they want. Very fresh. Very good.

C: ZXD came, is she going to connect with you again? LYN: She can’t do it ALL THE TIME. It’s enough that she even indulged me the last time. I know that I joke around a lot but I also know my limits. Asking her to join me last time was already toeing the line. I just did it to make you all happy! But her company nearly fired her the day after (JOKE!)- it’s not worth it to chat with me and lose your job because of it. C: They wouldn’t. LYN: This industry is just THAT CRUEL. C: You owe her a song. LYN: I do. I won’t pay her back today, though. // You came in too late, ZXD-laoshi! I know you just finished up a hard day’s work and want to relax with a song, but I’M almost at my limit. You’re the one who has good stamina, I can’t keep up. If you came at 8p, I would sing for you, but it’s already almost 10:30p. I’ll owe you again. Let me pay you back next time. LYN: Also, during the stream today I even did two minutes of cardio. Two minutes of cardio. How terrifying. Do you know how much that took out of me?? When you exercise, can you do two minutes of cardio? No- you probably only go for 30 seconds. Right? That was already impressive enough. I nearly threw up. I kicked three times and my heart-rate jumped to 160. - tells ZXD (and everyone else watching) to come watch his streams earlier. in this case being “late to the party” does NOT make you cool. XD

C: Can you make an announcement before you stream? LYN: I can’t really, because I can’t control whether we wrap for the day early or not. If I told you I was going to stream at a certain time and then work kept me, I would get anxious. No announcement is normal. My stream is all about the surprise of it, isn’t it? LYN: ZXD, as someone in the same field of work as me, you should understand. Is there any “prior announcement” in this industry? No. Do you get any prior announcement for when your drama will be airing? We don’t even know which day it will air. Do you know when your next drama will air? You don’t know that, either. We’re all in the dark here. Even the Long Ballad- I didn’t know it was going to air until 9am the day-of. Even a big drama like that is undetermined, how could you expect my tiny stream to give you prior notice? C: You’re so fierce. LYN: I may look it, but I’m not really. Watch more of my streams. Subscribe to my weibo, maybe next time you’ll see how fierce I can get.

C: Zhu-laoshi said her streams have a prior announcement. LYN: That’s because her company wants her to. The difference between us is that she’s an employee, and I’m a boss. I’m not the same. LYN: Also, she only streams once a year. Of course she’ll make an announcement for it. I stream 100+ times a year, so I still need to make an announcement? If you can’t watch this one, you can always catch the next one. It’s because her streams are rare and valuable, so she has to let people know about it. If people miss it, they’re going to regret it the whole year. I stream so much, mine aren’t as valuable.

C: Ning-ge, be more gentle. LYN: WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?? How am I not gentle???

C: I can’t send presents? LYN: We’ve turned that feature off because honestly, I don’t anticipate or want anyone to send me money in this way. If you really wanted to spend money on me, I still have a lot of collaborations going, like L’Oreal and Chunzhen... you can go buy something. Supporting the brands I’m working with is also supporting me. You like me, right? Go buy two boxes of Chunzhen. You can tell the salesperson you came for LYN. If you do that they’re more likely to work with me again. :) C: So that’s how it is. I thought there was something wrong with my IQ. LYN: Nothing is wrong with your IQ.

C: I still have school tomorrow- who understands my pain... LYN: ?_? You’re a student, if you don’t go to school, what do you want to do?? I’m telling you- being a student is the happiest time of your life. Cherish it. When you enter society there are going to be a lot more painful things than just having to go to school on a weekend. You’re still young, kid. When you grow up you’ll understand what Uncle Ning is telling you. LYN: There’s someone in my drama crew- they just got into university. They got in, and then has spent the last two years in online classes. It took so much to get into university in the first place and it’s time to experience that uni life but- “ga”- you’re stuck in online classes. They don’t even know their classmates! Tell me how happy they must be. Cherish it, alright. C: I’ve been in online classes for three years now.. LYN: Yeah, you’re about ready to graduate now! LYN: You aren’t even close with your own classmates... how sad is that?

LYN: I really want to go back to school now, but I'm too old. I want to get into a performing or arts school but they’re all 16-17 years old and here I am, an uncle taking classes with them. Should they call me “bro” or “uncle”?

LYN: I saw a comment the other day. It read “LYN is not bad for an old turkey.” And someone asked, “Why an “old turkey”?” But it’s true, because they can’t call me a spring chicken. I’m already 30+. A “spring chicken” is someone in their early 20′s. I guess “old turkey” is good enough for someone in their 30′s. C: They’re not wrong though. LYN: If you say that, do you think the Youth Gala will still invite me? Your comment has suddenly put into question my right to attend. I don’t think I can go this year, though, because I’ll be in the crew shooting for the drama... C: You’re a “youth” up until 35. LYN: I see. I can’t be considered a “juvenile” (shaonian), but “youth” (qingnian) still applies, right? Let me gift you with a song... - sings 少年 - gets worked up about the labels XD LYN: Have you ever head of the expression “A boy is a teenager until he dies”? (男儿至死是少年)

C: Alright, fine. LYN. I’ve watched you stream so many times but you never pay attention to me. I see how it is. LYN: See? After you said that I got scared and immediately replied to you. C: You never reply to me, so I guess I should go. LYN: Is chasing stars something that you need one-on-one service for? If you like a person they need to cater to you directly, otherwise you think their service is lacking? Didn’t we talk about online classes earlier? This is an online class! I’m speaking to ALL of you. What, are you going to report your teacher for never once calling on you in class? Say the teacher doesn’t respect you?? No one does that. You have to be reasonable. In a classroom setting everyone is free to learn but whether you actually learn anything or not depends on your own ability. If you wanted one-on-one you should find a private tutor. C: Ning-ge, my teacher does roll-call. LYN: So you’re saying, since you’re taking my online class- next time I should call everyone by their name? Why do you think I don’t? As someone being catered to, you have to understand. First of all- why do schools take roll? Because they have to be responsible for you. They take tuition fees, after all. Secondly the teachers have to be responsible for you, and need to know whether you’re late, taking the night class, or are picking a fight. That’s the teacher’s responsibility towards you. LYN: Here in my stream.... it’s not like you paid tuition, right? I am therefore not required to take roll. The second thing is I CAN call your names, but this industry is quite unstable. There used to be a lot of my fans who are now fans of other people. If I started taking roll and then find people dropping off, how disheartened would I be? Where did they go? “Laoshi, they started liking HZT.” :’( - going through the complicated process of people wanting to PAY him for saying their names, and others not having money, but still wanting him to say their names. moral kidnapping. - finally figured it out. if they want him to call their names, they need to provide proof of purchase for one of his collaboration products. LYN: This way, a lot of brands will want to work with me. :)

C: LYN, you have to wish me a happy birthday. LYN: Don’t call me by my full name. People who call me “LYN”- I’ll feel like they are very unfamiliar. People who are close to me call me “Ning-ge” or “Liu-ge”. But I’m not close with anyone who calls me “Liu Yuning”. And you want me to wish you a happy birthday? I don’t know you- why should I??? LYN: Long-time fans/employees will call me “Lao-da”.

C: Liu-laoshi, it’s time for class to end. LYN: Is it 11p already? It’s okay, let me stream for just a little bit longer. LYN: If you’re sleepy, you can go to sleep. It’s about time. I’m going to log off soon.

C: Ning-ge put on a VCR. I want to use the restroom. LYN: Go, then. If your phone fixed? Don’t you usually use your phones to watch me stream? You can’t take it with you? Go if you need to.

LYN: My drama’s about to wrap soon so I might come back with a fun stream in a few days. Please subscribe to my weibo if you haven’t already. Turn the alerts on- it doesn’t mean that I have a special place in your heart. It just means that weibo will notify you to come watch my stream. But it won’t annoy you! I hate to be unwanted so it won’t harrass you, just remind you. If you don’t want to watch one day, that’s fine. You can catch the next one. If you don’t want to watch my stream at all, that’s okay too because the drama is about to air. Please subscribe. There are always chances for you to just come and watch. C: Don’t go. I want to watch you stream. LYN: This is like at concerts, when people want an encore. Is that what you were aiming for? How about this- I spend the whole of last year streaming so much I received a “Weibo Live-stream King” award. You can watch a whole year’s worth of my streams. Each one was about 3-4 hours, so altogether it’s about.. if you watch one after another without sleeping, it’ll take you more than half a month to finish. You can watch them all- I was in a better condition in some and they were interesting. Some I sang a lot in. There are all sorts.

- explains how he never knew what “encore” meant until his first concert and the production director just told him reserve three songs for the “encore”. LYN: I don’t like that. I’m a very transparent person, so I told him, “How about I go up there and tell them directly that I’m only singing 16 songs and then I’m leaving?” Because 16 songs is part of the package- if you sing ONE more song, then you’re going to have to pay a fee. Singing one less is fine, since you have to sing 16 and leave. But if you sing one MORE, you’re likely to get fined. LYN: Every time I go up there I tell it to you straight. There are only 16 songs in the set-list, and they’re songs I have already rehearsed. Right? If you want me to sing a 17th or 18th, how am I going to do it? We never rehearsed for them. Also, even if you sing your own song, you have to clear it with the company because they’re going to sue you for copyright if you don’t let them know ahead of time. C: Sing three lines. LYN: Does singing three lines not count towards copyright? What’s the point of singing just three lines though? C: Does it count if you sing the same song twice. LYN: That doesn’t, no. If you were cleared to and want to sing the same song 13 times, no one’s going to sue you. C: 15 seconds doesn’t count. LYN: You want me to sing a song for 15 seconds? - explains how it’s fine to cover a song during his stream or in a ktv, as long as it isn’t for commercial purposes; you aren’t allowed to cover someone else’s song and then put it up on some site for people to listen to, for a fee. C: If someone sings your songs do they have to give you money? LYN: They’re not giving me the money, they’re giving it to the production company. I’m just a singer (and not a singer-songwriter, who gets royalties)- I don’t get any of that money. C: If you don’t get it, you could ask WSL. LYN: I don’t need to bother him. If I don’t know I could look it up myself. Also, my studio has a legal team. I also have a lot of “wild” lawyers out there- many of my fans are in law school. I’ve said before, if you see anyone defaming me and you find it within your limits to sue them please do so. If you win the case, you can contact my studio and I will pay you for your services. Not only will I pay you for your services, as my fan, I’ll even give you a signed photograph. I’ll write: To: Y/N. From: LYN. and also include “The law knows no mercy.” C: What if you lose the case? LYN: It’s a test of your profession. If you win, that means that you determined that what was done is outside the law, and you were right to sue them. If you lose the case then that means that your that means your judgement is flawed and you didn’t learn properly. I won’t pay you for your services, but I’ll still give you a signed photograph. Those who win get “The law knows no mercy” but those who lose get “Keep at it.” A different message, but they’ll receive a signed photo all the same.

LYN: Alright. I hope you had a wonderful time. It was great to have you. I’ll see you the next time, my friends. I need to go- I’ve got to get up at 5a tomorrow. I need to wash and tidy up for a full day of work. Before I came to stream I told myself not to stream for too late, but I couldn’t stop myself. Have sweet dreams. Goodnight. Please subscribe to my weibo if you haven’t already. Thank you. I’ll see you next time. Good night~

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(4:31:49)#topics:#ning-ge's intro bgm: 'gwa'#how are ppl in the entertainment industry different from normal ppl?#Modern Brothers Company 'employees' get fired after three years #don't get scammed by anyone pretending to be lyn PLEASE #'my roommate's opinion of lyn #two minutes of cardio #online concert #guzhuang vs modern dramas #spring chicken vs old turkey #lyn's 'wild' legal team

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angryschnauzer · 4 years

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Superior Specimen - Chapter 9 (Final)

Summary: One night when you are following the Archaeology tag on instagram you stumbled across a fun looking dig… and an even more interesting Paleontologist who soon follows you back. Over the following weeks you start chatting and a friendship soon grows.

Relationship: AU Henry Cavill x Female Reader (No race or body shape mentioned)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Warnings: Slow Burn, NSFW, 18+, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Drunken Piggy Back Rides, Oral Sex (Female Recieving), Drama, Theft, Amateur Heroics, Hospital Visit, Shower Sex, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Blow Job, Fingering, Lavish lifestyle, Henry is loaded, The Shard, Expensive Gifts, Sixty nine, Unprotected Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Angst, Argument, Jealousy, Talk of car crashes, heroics, rough sex, use of safe words, Anal play, Hangovers, Vomiting, Workplace Disputes, Crying, Declarations of Love.

I do not operate a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, as you will then be notified whenever i post something new.

I don’t have a masterlist, but all my works are on AO3, link here. Usually i post oneshots to Tumblr and AO3, and multichapters exclusively to AO3, but as this is my first henry story and its going to be a short series, i’ll post to both places.

Chapter 9

You woke to a head that was pounding so much you thought someone was trying to crack it open with a hammer. Curled up in a huge white duvet you opened one eye and immediately regretted it, the hangover from hell hitting you like a tonne of bricks. Groaning you pulled the duvet over your head yet the pounding still came, and that’s when you realised it wasn’t just your head, it was something in Henry’s flat.

Swinging your legs over the side of the bed you glared at the world around you, slowly walking to the doorway before you found the source of the repetitive pounding noise; Henry was running on a treadmill.

“Morning Princess!” he said cheerfully, pressing buttons on the screen as he started to slow his pace.

“Oh god, you’re one of those people that don’t get hangovers, aren’t you?”

Stopping altogether he grabbed a towel that was hanging over the rail, wiping his face as he smugly swaggered towards you;

“Had a bit of a headache but pounded that out on the treadmill” he wrapped a sweaty arm over your shoulders but you recoiled away;

“Oh god… you stink...” your stomach lurched at the strong scent of sweat, and you quickly ducked away from his arm, running to the bathroom.

As you retched into the toilet the contents of your stomach came back to haunt you, the acrid stench of red wine filling the room. With each burst you thought it would be the last, only for your stomach to lurch again and another mouthful of bile filled vomit to come surging up your gullet.

You felt a large hand press against your back, softly rubbing, before you felt Henry pull some of your hair out of your face. As your stomach continued to empty itself he held your hair without a word, before finally you were empty. He wrapped a large fluffy towel around your naked body as you sat on the bathroom floor shivering, not realising you were still completely naked.

“Hold tight, i’ll get you a glass of water”

He disappeared, only to return as promised a few seconds later with some water, your acid burned throat croaking out a thank you as you sipped it.

At arms length he lightly cupped your chin;

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Kind of…”

“You really aren’t a wine girl, are you?”

“Only expensive £600 a bottle champagne” you said with a weak smile; “That’s why i tend to stick to Gin normally”

“Hey, let me get you some painkillers then i’ll jump in the shower”

“Do i have to move or can i just watch?”

“You can watch, you little perv”

You smiled at him, watching as he moved around the bathroom before handing you some Panadol from the bathroom cabinet.

As he started to strip out of his sweaty workwear he decided to hum along to a striptease, making you laugh before immediately regretting it as your head pounded. You rested your head against the wall as you watched him get into the shower, the large bathroom having a ‘wet-room’ corner to it which provided almost no privacy, but as your eyes followed the bubbles as they flowed down each curve and plain of his sculpted body, you quietly got to your feet and walked over to him.

Wrapping your arms around his torso you pressed your face to his wet chest, letting the warm water pour down over your body to help wash away the sins of the night before. There were no words spoken, instead he just held you for the longest time before reaching for a sponge and started to gently wash you down.

Sitting at the countertop you sipped on a cup of tea as Henry unloaded the dishwasher, chatting away as you nursed your hangover;

“Did you want anything to eat?”

“Toast? Can you do toast?”

He smiled;

“Yes, i can do toast. I’ll even butter it if you want”

“Just plain is fine. My stomach is still lurching every now and again”

Minutes later he was setting a plate down in front of you before leaning against the countertop, the tea towel hanging over his shoulder;

“So, what did you want to do today?”

You bit into your toast and shrugged;

“Chill. Going to have to head back to my place at some point seeing as my week off has been ordered to end for my review tomorrow morning” you set the toast down; “Urgh, i hate catching the tube on Monday mornings, its always the busiest time”

“So let me drive you” you raised an eyebrow as he continued; “Let’s pack your stuff up, i’ll pack a bag, and we’ll spend the night at your place. In the morning i can drive you”

“You’re at the museum tomorrow?”

“Not quite, but i’m nearby. I have a meeting with an international contact and then i’ll be making some conference calls from here”

The rest of the morning was spent finding your belongings around Henry’s flat, he himself managing to pack everything he needed in the space of five minutes into a suit carrier and small holdall. As you left he carried your bags for you and still managed to open doors like a true gentleman.

The drive across central London on a Sunday lunchtime was slow at best, the streets filled with tourists and locals, out-of-towners taking advantage of no Congestion Charge on a sunday meaning the streets were filled with people that didn’t know what lane to get into or would stop at flow through traffic spots. When you finally reached your place there was thankfully just one space left in the residents area;

“I’ll need to run up and grab the flat’s parking permit, otherwise you’ll get clamped”

Running out of the car you ducked your head down against the light rain that had started to fall, and minutes later when you returned to the car Henry was already standing with all the bags in hand, before taking the permit and sliding it onto the dashboard of the Audi.

“Urgh, c’mon, let’s get out of this rain. I don’t know about you but an afternoon on the sofa watching movies feels appropriate right about now”

And that was exactly what you did. A movie marathon where neither of you were paying much attention, instead you spent it curled up on Henry’s chest, encased between his thighs as he propped himself up on one end of the sofa, the only times you were apart were for bathroom or tea breaks. Pizza delivery came and went, and as you tossed the crust of your last slice back into the box you sat back and groaned, before standing and unfastening your jeans. Henry sat back, his hands behind his head and a smirk on his face;

“Ooh an after dinner show…”

“Ha-ha… my head is still pounding, and now i’ve eaten too much pizza to get comfortable so these are coming off, don’t get any idea’s big boy”

He pouted but patted his lap, and you sighed contentedly as you settled across his thick thighs, resting your head against his chest.

The movie was halfway through when you felt him shift beneath you, and you became aware of his hardness pressing against the underside of your legs. As you moved he let out a quiet moan, you turned to face him he caught your lips with his own, the kiss soft yet demanding.

His hands moved to your hips and he was lifting you, moving you to straddle him whilst his lips never left yours. Your hands found their way beneath his t-shirt, running your fingertips over his stomach and up to his chest, feeling his coarse hair curl around them. In turn his own massive hands first found your hips, pulling you down onto his lap, before they found the waistband of your panties and he slid his warm palms between the fabric and cupped your ass, pushing his hips up to rut against your clothed core.

You needed to feel his skin against yours, and with eager hands you pulled his t-shirt up, letting him take it off completely before he divested you of yours, your bra following soon after as it was flung across the room. Palming your breasts he nuzzled his face against the soft skin, his stubble giving a delicious burn that was only salved by his lips and tongue as they traced wet trails across your skin until he took first one nipple then the other into his mouth, sucking the hardened nubs until you were arching your back with pleasure.

His hands fumbled with your underwear, trying to pull them off without letting you off his lap, but in the end with a giggle you stood, letting him pull them down before your shimmied your hips to let them fall to the floor. He quickly stood and unfastened his jeans, pulling them and his boxers down to his knees, sitting back down again and pulling you back onto his lap. You wrapped a hand around his hot and aching shaft, feeling the hard muscle beneath the velvet skin, your thumb gently smoothing the clear bead of liquid over the wide crown, before positioning yourself over him, dragging him through your folds to douse him with your wetness, before you slowly sank down onto him;

“Oh god, Henry…”

He smoothed his hands up your back, pulling you to his chest as me gazed adoringly at you;

“Princess, you feel so good around me. You make me want to be inside you at all times… can you ride me, or would you like me to fuck you?”

“Fuck me, but go slow… i’m kinda hoping the orgasm gets rid of my headache…”

“Here… let me try something...”

He slid one hand all the way up your back, carding his fingers through your hair before gently grasping a large handful and slightly pulling. Your head arched back, the pull on your scalp just the right pressure and immediately releasing the tension in your mind. His lips found your neck, kissing along your jugular before his teeth scraped at your skin. All the while his hips made tiny thrusts up into you, your body taking him with a familiarity of an old lock and key, fitting together perfectly as you were meant to be.

You could feel your body tightening, your orgasm imminent as Henry’s breathless pants and sighs filled your senses, the closer you got to the end the louder his moans, until you were coming hard, his hand still pulling your hair, and as your body clamped down on his you felt him release deep inside you, filling you with his seed.

You sat breathless in his arms, his hands now resting warm on your back, your face against his neck. When he spoke his voice was low and you felt the deep rumble in his chest;

“Are you watching this film?”

“I don’t think i’ve been paying attention for about the last hour”

He grabbed the remote and shut the TV off;

“Lets go to bed”

Monday morning arrived and you could hear the rain pouring outside, making you curl up under the covers to get closer to the warmth of Henry. Soft cuddles turned into gentle caresses, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth whilst he still kept his eyes closed;

“What time do you need to be at work?”

“9am”

“What time is it now?”

You glanced at the clock on your nightstand;

“Just before seven”

“Hmmmm that’s enough time”

He was suddenly rolling you over until he was pressing you into the mattress, your arms around his neck as he nudged your legs further apart with his knees, lining himself up with your entrance before sinking all the way in on the first thrust;

“I could spend every morning like this… in heaven between these thighs…”

He ground his hips into yours, a smooth curve as he managed to hit all your spots with every single pull and thrust, his efforts speeding up with each push until he was fucking you hard into the mattress, your back arched with pleasure as he did his best to obliterate your pelvis before the first working day of the week;

“You feel so fucking good, fucking made for me. Can feel you squeezing me, fuck, i just want to take you back to my place and fuck you, have you suck my dick as i take my conference calls…”

Just the thought of being Henry’s fuck toy was enough to make you cum, crying out as he increased his thrusts and fucked you through your orgasm, moments later shooting another load deep into your trembling walls.

As you both lay there, bodies still connected you looked up at him and smiled;

“I could get used to mornings like this”

You seemed to work around each other without any issues, both finding your places to do your morning routines, and as you left the flat ready for your day you chewed on a slice of toast.

“Are you going to drop crumbs all over the inside of my car?” he asked playfully

“Yes”

“Okay then”

Traffic through Fulham was busy, and you found yourself checking through emails on your phone as he swore under his breath at other drivers. One in particular caught your eye; from your roommate. Opening it you were surprised to see that he’d been approached by someone wanting to buy the flat as an investment, happy to keep your tenancy agreement under the same terms for the rest of the three year tenancy, with rent kept frozen for that time. Apparently the meeting was scheduled for that day, so he would know a more definitive answer by the end of the day. At least that was one thing off your mind for now.

By the time Henry pulled into the service road at the back of the museum it was ten to nine. He waved at the security guard as he quickly ran around to your side of the car as you climbed out, kissing you somewhat more chastely than usual;

“Let me know what happens. Yeah? It’s probably just because your little crime fighting incident, they don’t want to be sued for some minor heroics”

“Mmmm. I’ll call you later”

Sitting in your bosses office you stared at him in disbelief. You had been utterly sideswiped by their ambush, pulling out the staff terms and conditions. The weasley little man glared at you from behind his desk, his ruddy face covered in its usual sheen of sweat and grease;

“You are aware of the regulations regarding inter company relationships?” he stated as a question but it was more of a declaration

“Sir, that is a load of rubbish. Everyone knows its direct line management. My relationship with Dr Cavill is of no consequence to my daily duties”

“But what if you suddenly use it to demand additional leave or time off? Or to pass favour to gain a promotion” he closed the 300 page manual with a loud thud; “Rules are rules. It states no member of staff can engage in a relationship with a person of a higher position than themselves”

You stood up, anger seething through your pores;

“This is utter bullshit and i’m taking it to the director”

“You will do no such thing, as he’s already in agreement. Your stupidity last week got us into the Evening Standard, so you are already on the last thread” he glared at you, not used to any member of staff talking back to him; “It’s your job or your silly little fling, you choose, if you are not at your desk come tomorrow morning at 8am you will have your employment terminated with immediate effect”

Henry was happy, he was smiling to himself as he slowly climbed the staircase in his building, swirling his keys on his finger as he whistled cheerfully. It may have been raining all morning but it had been a good morning; waking up in bed with you, the amazing morning sex, and then the meeting had gone perfectly, the long distance call working out all the finer details of a last minute project. Now he was looking forward to his afternoon of calls to go through the digs and projects he had planned for the winter.

However as he climbed the last flight of stairs he slowed, surprised to see you sat on his doormat, your head against your knees as you hugged your legs, soaked from head to toe;

“Princess?”

You looked up, your tear stained face making his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. He rushed to you, crouching down;

“What is it? What happened?”

You sniffed, a fresh flood of tears falling down your face;

“M-Mr Taylor… he…said...” your sobs meant the rest of your words were incomprehensible, and Henry quickly unlocked his door before lifting you into his arms, carrying your soaked body into his flat and kicking the door shut.

He set you down onto the sofa, going to the bathroom to grab a towel and wrapping it around your shoulders, before he sat on the coffee table in front of you, taking your cold and shaking hands in his;

“What happened? Did you walk all the way here in the rain?”

You nodded, wiping your nose with the back of your hand before you finally found your voice;

“They found out about us”

“Who did?”

“Management. They were pissed that the Evening Standard ran a story about the robbery and how a member of staff saved the day. They don’t like press that brings to light any crimes that happen in the museum”

“But… you literally saved the day! And what about us?”

“They pulled the employee handbook out on me. No inter company relationships that cross between levels of management” you took a deep breath; “I’ve got to choose between you and my job Henry…”

You weren’t paying attention, your vision blurred by tears so you didn’t see the anger rising within him, how he stood and paced to try and calm himself down;

“That’s ridiculous! Everyone knows it’s ‘line management’. I’m going to call Piers…”

He was referring to the museum CEO, but you stood;

“Henry… its why i’ve come here…I have to decide today...” He turned, his face dropping; “... I’ve come to say goodbye”

His eyes went wide;

“Princess? Please…”

“Henry, I’ve got bills, student loans, i’ve got to pay my rent…”

He crossed the room, cradling your arms in his large hands;

“Please, don’t do this… you don’t have to do this…”

“Henry, i don’t have any choice!”

“Yes you do! Don’t throw this away, this, what we have, it’s special!”

“I KNOW! But my life isn’t some fairy tale, i have responsibilities! Even if i leave the museum in my own time, i’ll still need a reference, i just just quit!”

“I FUCKING LOVE YOU!”

You took a deep breath, your eyes filling with tears;

“I love you too, but love doesn’t pay the bills…” you turned to leave, but he caught your wrist with one hand;

“It doesn’t need to”

“My new landlord isn’t going to accept ‘love’ as payment”

“Yes he will”

You stopped, looking at Henry, his expression softening as tears pricked at his eyes, his voice quiet;

“I bought your flat”

Your lip trembled, and with a gentle tug of his arm Henry pulled you into his arms as you sobbed against his chest, relief coursing through your veins. After the longest time he gently hooked a finger under your chin, lifting your face to his and you saw his cheeks were wet. Without a word he kissed you, his touch soft and caring. Finally you realised just how cold and wet you were, a full body shiver shaking you and he smiled;

“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes”

You spent the afternoon curled up quietly sleeping on his sofa, wearing a borrowed t-shirt and work out shorts. Although the t-shirt swamped you, your ass filled the shorts out nicely, and as he wound up his final call of the day you sat back and watched him, listening to his conversation. When he finally hung up he set the phone onto the table before pulling you to sit across his lap.

“The last time we were sat like this was 24 hours ago…” you smiled at him

“I haven’t forgotten”

“We should really talk. I mean properly talk, about everything…”

He smoothed a hand over your hair;

“You don’t need to worry Princess… i can take care of everything”

“But you don’t have to… plus, we are rushing into things… i just need to know what happens if everything turns south in a few weeks time where we haven’t thought things through”

He nodded;

“As you wish… but i want to let you know my intention, to be utterly honest with you; you don’t need to worry about money. At all. Whatever you want to call this, whether its a sugar daddy or kept woman or a sponsorship, whatever, I have the finances for you to follow your dreams, i can make them a reality, and i hope you let me come along for the ride” he paused, cradling your face with his massive hand; “I’ve loved you for so long…”

“Hen… it’s been three weeks?”

“No, it hasn’t. I figured you would have forgotten… we were on a dig together. My very first dig as site lead, and you were in your first year at University. The excavations around Salisbury Plain…”

“The Stonehenge route?”

“That’s the one. I remember trying to organise a dozen Uni first years and being completely shit at it”

“I...I don’t… how???”

“I didn’t look like i do now. I was this skinny bean-pole, a mop of hair that was always in my eyes and i thought made me look like I was in charge or like a Professor should look. You were this wild child that was always full of enthusiasm, pink streaks in your hair and baggy combats that made you look like you’d been to a rave, you’d be out digging in the sandy soil in all weathers, prancing into the finds tent in all weathers with your t-shirt plastered to your skin from the rain and without a bra… i swear there were times i was surprised you didn’t poke someone’s eye out with how perky your nipples were”

“I… I was rebelling against conformity... we didn’t believe in bra’s…”

“Well i spent most of the six week dig trying to either hide my boner from you or attempting to resist taking you back to my tent when we would get wasted on three litre bottles of White Lightning from Iceland”

You looked at him, for the first time you really looked at him, taking in the slight curl that was appearing in his hair, staring into his eyes and as you saw the tiny spot of brown in his left eye your gaze went wide as the hazy drunken memories of your first summer at University came flooding back to you;

“Oh god… that dig… the last night I spent in the supervisors tent…”

Henry smiled, a genuine soft smile that was unlike any other. He looked younger, the awkwardness of someone who in their mid 20’s hadn’t been confident in any way.

Your lip trembled, and you nodded;

“I love you Henry”

“I love you too”

_________________________________________________________

Authors note: Thank you for reading. This has been my very first Henry story, and what was meant to be a oneshot grew into this epic 20k+ word story. It was my first time in a very long time that i was writing ‘English’ characters, and this i made a deliberate mental note of to include a more ‘English’ dialect than other stories. Rather than Americanise things, its been kept as the names, brands, and places that i know and am familiar with. If anything has not made sense just drop me an ask and i’ll explain what something is in a more generic term.

I also know i could have taken this story on for thousands more words and multiple chapters, following the lives of these two idiots in love, but as this arc has now run its course, i may add to these two’s story by making future oneshots.

Epilogue >>>

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x you #henry cavill au

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simply-trash5 · 4 years

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PuppetBoy

Okay Kankuro simps, got some more juice for ya! Seriously this was so fun to write. It is a college AU about Kankuro and a reader. I am pretty proud of it. I would love to write some things for you so PLEASE request. Seriously. I’ll even try smut (I’ve never written it before so we’ll see how it goes). Drop them in the ask box and if you like what you read you should totally tell me because i am a self conscious bean.

What the hell is that noise? You think to yourself as you look around. It sounded terrible. Whatever car was making that noise was definitely on it’s last leg. You nod your head realizing it was the same guy you see everyday parked across from the education building at your college. You could hear loud metal playing from the speakers and the windows shaking as he pulled into the lot. He jumped out,slammed the door and gave the tire a swift kick. Wow he’s kinda cute. He stood almost 6 ft. tall and had on a black hoodie that hung lightly over his brown hair. His black jeans had rips in the knees and you could see he was wearing scuffed black DocMartens. You continued to follow him with your eyes as he passed you walking toward the theatre building. He had an eyebrow ring and gauges. Oh shit, I think he caught me staring. He looked at you, scoffed and kept walking toward the theatre building. Is he a theatre major? You wondered to yourself. Maybe he just has to take a fine art credit. Letting your thoughts wander you pulled the straps on your bookbag tighter and walked to your class in the education building.

The class seemed to drag on forever, and you knew after that you had to go to your nannying job which would take up most of the evening. You wished that you didn’t have to have a job, but unfortunately scholarships didn’t cover all of your tuition. You grabbed your keys from your pocket and headed toward the parking lot. Climbing into your car you started the engine and began making your way to your job. You loved kids, so nannying was a great gig for you. When you arrived at the home of a doctor in your area you were greeted by a small boy with a large grin. “Ms. Y/N, can we go to the children’s theater today? Mom said we could go if it was okay with you, she even left my booster seat so you can drive!” You giggled and shrunk down to his height. “Well if your mom says it's okay, it's fine by me. Let’s grab your jacket and booster seat and we will leave.” The small child ran into the house. His mother approached you. “Thank you so much for watching Trevor,I know he is a handful but i'm rather fond of him.” You gave her a huge smile and told her that it was no problem and explained that you were going to take him to the children's theatre. She said her goodbyes and you walked into the house to retrieve the boys booster seat so that you all could make the 4:00 production of the Three Little Pigs.

The little boy sitting in front of you on the floor giggled wildly as a wolf puppet “ran” off stage. You smiled down at him. The curtains closed and the crowd gave them a round of applause. The stage hands and puppeteers began to disassemble the set so that they could get ready for the next show when you saw a familiar face. It's car boy. You smiled in his direction, and didn’t realize you may have looked at him a little too long. “Hey, take a picture, it will last longer.” The mysterious boy gave you an annoyed look and a blush began to creep up your face. He was wearing a tight black tshirt that showed off his muscular arms and his tattoo of a sandtimer on his forearm. “Come on Trevor, lets head home,” you said steering the young boy out of the theatre.

“Oh my god what did you say back?” your friend was screeching on the other side of the phone. “Well, see, I just kinda left.” you explained not wanting to relive the embarrassing moment. “Y/N, you have got to do something tomorrow. You’re going to see him in the parking lot and you don’t want it to be weird.” You were twirling your hair around your finger staring at your phone. “Y/N are you still there?” You snapped back to reality, “yeah, I think I will buy him a cup of coffee. I’m sure he never sleeps like the rest of us. He is a college student.” You both finished your conversation and you got ready for bed. You set your alarm early so that you could go to a coffee shop and grab him a coffee to make up for the awkward run-ins you had the last few days.

“God its early” you whined to yourself but got ready anyway. You had to make a better impression on puppet boy. You gathered your things and headed out the door and made your way to a local coffee shop. You grabbed your latte and then decided it was best to just give him black coffee. You drove to your college thinking about the handsome stranger all the way there. His brown hair was shaggy and fell right into his eyes, which you melted at the thought of his hair being pushed out of his face. Your mind started to drift to what your next move would be as you pulled into the parking lot. Okay, it's 7:45 he should be here any minute. Shit what should I do? In a moment of extreme confidence you grabbed a pen out of your backpack and messily scribbled your phone number on the side of the paper cup. God I hope this works. You took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. You could hear him coming for at least a mile. Alright Y/N you cannot chicken out now. He rolled in and slammed his car door as he had every morning for the earlier part of the semester. It's now or never, you've got this shit. You beelined toward his car. He realized you were approaching and looked at you with a strange face. You immediately got nervous. You just sat the coffee cup on the hood of his car, turned on your heel, and quickly walked to the education building. “HEY! HEY COME BACK!” You heard him calling after you as you continued on your way to class cursing yourself the entire time.

Buzz

You grabbed your phone from your pocket. An unknown number had sent you a text. “How do I know you didn’t drug this coffee so you can turn my corpse into a puppet?” you laughed at the text and a blush spread over your cheeks. “Now why would I do that?” you replied. You typed “Also that is oddly specific” “What can I say, I like puppets?” The conversation continued for the next few days. You saw him a few times on campus but you never spoke in person. He would send you funny memes and videos at all hours of the night. Apparently puppetboy is a night owl. “Um btw, we’ve been talking for days and I still don’t know your name. What should I call you.” “My name is Kankuro.” “Well Kankuro, my name is Y/N. Its nice to put a name with a face.”

Shit I’m never gonna finish this run. You thought to yourself as you continued to run on the treadmill. You had your headphones in and music blaring. You loved to run and hadn’t been to the gym in a few days due to all of your nannying obligations. Okay, only a half mile more to go, you thought to yourself as you pushed your body to keep running. Out of nowhere you felt a large calloused hand on your shoulder. You snapped your head “Hey listen creep I-” before you knew it you were falling only to be caught by Kankuro. “Y/N you falling for me already?” Kankuro flirted giving you a tight smirk. You were shocked, not only by the fall, but by the arms around you. They were strong and helped steady you with ease. He was wearing a dark grey tank top which showed his muscles and tattoo off wonderfully. His legs were muscular too and looked amazing in the black shorts he was wearing. In his other hand he had a pair of boxing gloves. You began to blush and he realized you were staring at him, imagining what he looked like under that tank top. Your hand crept up to your neck where you fiddled with your necklace. He gave you a small chuckle. “I’ve got to go spar with my buddy, but if you want to you can meet me out front in an hour.” You smiled and shook your head and he turned and walked away. The shorts hugged his bottom perfectly and the tank top showed his shoulder muscles. You could see another tattoo on his back. Was it puppet strings? You pursed your lips and began to blush. I would love to see those strings up close.

The hour wait seemed like the longest hour of your life. You waited out in front of the gym as he came bounding out the door. He was sweating and his shaggy hair was sticking to his forehead. He walked over to his car and opened the door. It made a horrendous screech as it opened and you stifled a laugh. “Whats so funny princess? Just for that we gotta walk to get food.” You blushed. Did he just call me princess? Why was that so hot? “Come on, I’m starving,” he said and began walking down the sidewalk. You walked hurriedly to match his long strides. Damn my short legs. “So Kankuro, where are we going?” he gave you a crooked grin. “Its a surprise.” You giggled and retorted “well how do I know you’re not trying to get me alone and turn my corpse into a puppet?” He gave you a devilish grin, “Well sweetheart lets find out.” Another pet name. Your face turned bright red and you stared at the sidewalk. You approach a deli that you frequent with your friends. “I love this place,” you exclaimed. “Well don’t be weird and actually order some food. I like a girl with an appetite.” You laughed and smiled. You ordered your usual and he ordered grabbing your food and heading outside to a table. You both began eating and chatting casually about your lives. You found out he loves horror movies, especially ones that feature creepy dolls or puppets. You also learned that he has a lot of horror memorabilia in his apartment and that he rarely sleeps. He boxes to keep himself busy when hes not working as a children’s puppeteer. He is studying theatre with concentrations in stage management and special effects makeup. “Kankuro, thats really fucking cool,” you said and began to tell him about yourself. You were studying to be a teacher and nannying as a job to make money for college. You lived in an apartment around the corner from the deli with a friend. “So Kankuro I noticed the sand timer on your arm, do you have any other tattoos?” He gave you another devilish grin.”Yeah I have a back piece that is marionette strings. I’ve loved puppets since I was little so I thought it would be cool. Do you have any tattoos?” You blushed. You stood and pulled up your athletic top to show a tattoo of your family's crest on your hip. You had to pull your shorts down ever so slightly revealing your black lacy underwear. He looked at the tattoo and then back to your face. “Thats a nice one,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. The conversation continued and you all talked more about your semester and your family. You laughed and told him about how you liked to run and also about how you thought it was cool he was a boxer. “Maybe one day we can spar angel,” he flashed a smile in your direction and you smiled back at the thought. You both got up from the table and threw your trash away. It was dark and cool. You pulled your jacked tighter around your shoulders. “I guess I am going to walk home and let you get back to the gym.” Kankuro shook his head “absolutely not doll, its dark and I’m walking you home.” You blushed. Another pet name, this boy is gonna be the death of me.

You began walking toward your apartment and your hands brushed several times by accident. “Damn Y/N if you wanted to hold my hand that bad all you had to do was ask. I aim to please.” You blushed and then punched Kankuro. “Still want to spar?” you said cheekily. You both walked in silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was as if you had known him your whole life. The comfort of him walking beside you felt so nice. “Well this is my apartment.” You sighed and reached for the door.

BAM

The door slammed shut and you noticed a strong arm beside your face. Kankuro looked down at your lips and smirked. You began to blush. The tension was so thick. I swear im going to pass out. Your heart began racing as he leaned into you. Your back was pressed against the glass of the door with a strong arm beside your head. His other hand made its way to your tattooed hip, he drew circles over your ink with his calloused thumb. His hands were so large that you could feel his fingertips on your back. The heat rose to your cheeks. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. He pulled back, his hand still burning a hole into your hip bone. You opened your eyes to see a smirked Kankuro. You were in shock when he reached his other hand to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face. Your thoughts raced, you wanted nothing more to bring him up to your apartment and let him give you that devilish grin some more.

“Guess I’m not a killer princess. Text me.” He chuckled, turned on his heel and walked back toward the gym. You watched him until he walked out of sight. You were ready to see him again and maybe see more of that back tattoo.

#naruto #naruto oneshot #naruto fanfiction #naruto au #kankuro x reader #kankuro au #kankuro #kankuro imagines #naruto imagines #eeeeek #im v nervous #please like it kank simps #trash writes

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kazoo5480 · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Mature Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan

Emma ends the call, and grabs her purse, bounding down the steps of her flat. She is going to meet some friends at the bar down the street, so she decides to walk there, no reason to drive two blocks and risk a DUI. Entering the bar, its an old relic of a place left over from the prohibition era. She loves it, the bartenders are awesome, they have an amazing selection of beer, the lighting low, the walls covered in beer labels from beers all over the globe, it’s her home away from home. She waves at the bartender as she enters, Jeff sliding her usual shot of whiskey and a beer across to her as she sidles up to the counter.

She hands over her card to open a tab and looks around spotting her best friends in the corner near the dartboards. Belle smiles and waves, while Ruby is playing against two guys she hasn’t seen around before. Setting her phone on the table and her purse over her chair, she listens in on the conversation Mary Margaret and Belle are having, and when Ruby notices her arrival, she waves and calls her over. Ruby introduces Emma to the two men, Graham and Will. They seem nice enough and invite her to join them deciding to partner off, one girl one guy vs the others.

Emma is fantastic at darts, and she beats them swiftly in the first few minutes, while Ruby keeps score on the chalkboard. Finishing her beer Emma heads to the bathroom down the narrow, dim corridor and finds the room occupied. Leaning up against the wall outside it to wait, she notices a guy waiting in line also, the sink between them. She always thought it was so odd that the sink is right there in the hallway, so you had to talk to people as they waited in line for the one lady’s room or the one men’s room, but the bathroom stalls were miniscule at best, no room for sinks in them.

She sees that the guy has a mop of dark hair, black leather jacket, and a fairly hot profile, but he doesn’t look her way. The door to the ladies’ room opens and she heads in and out quickly and starts washing her hands. She looks down at her phone not paying attention as she walks back towards the bar and collides with a solid form. “Easy there lass” says an accented voice. Looking up, its leather jacket guy, and holy shit he is even better with a direct view of his face. His eyes are incredibly blue, and he smirks at her. She feels her panties literally soak.

“Sorry, wasn’t looking where I was going”, and he tsked her “as I can see. Watch where you’re going, someone could hit you with the door love” and he winked. Emma’s panties grew even wetter from that wink. Nope, nope, nope Emma, just get your beer and go back to your table she chastised herself internally and smiled at the guy. “Thanks” and kept walking, Jeff sliding her another round. Guys like that were her kryptonite, add an accent on there, and Jesus Christ. That was dangerous territory. Shaking it off, she asks for a beer for Ruby too, knocking back her shot waiting while Jeff poured it from the tap.

“Interesting choice of drink there” and she turns to face him, again. “Following me?” she asks wryly and, and he grins, “Nope, just needed a beer myself.” She thanks Jeff, and grabs her beers heading back to the table. Ruby wrangled Belle into joining her darts tournament, and their table is right near the door to the smoking patio. She sees leather jacket guy head out, and Will steps out with him. The smell of smoke wafts through the screen door and Ruby and Graham pause the game to head out too. Emma looks at M, wanna throw a few while they’re occupied? And M smiled at her, “Sure, but I have nothing by my drinking money so no bets tonight” and Emma smiled, handing her a set.

Ruby comes in first, and sees Emma got her a beer, thanking her, she begins pulling up another empty table to theirs while Emma and MM play their set out. The guys come in a few minutes later heading to the bar. Ruby likes them, they’re cute, and their accents even better, not bad company for the night. MM is taken, but the rest of them are unattached, and the newcomer Killian mentioned a pretty blonde lass who she would bet good money on was Emma.

Emma and MM sit, Belle joining them with two baskets of peanuts, and they all start talking and laughing, and Emma notices the extra table. Looking to Ruby “expecting company?” and the chair scrapes across the floor, leather jacket guy settling down in it, while Will and Graham sit on the opposite side in the bench seat. She looks at Ruby who smirks, and Emma rolls her eyes. She looks over, feeling his stare on the side of her face, “Now you’re definitely following me” and he just smirks.

Will speaks up “Emma, Killian, Killian, Emma- also known as the pretty blonde lass you were referring to,” and Killian glared at his friend. Emma laughed, “So you are following me?” he swallowed, his Adams Apple bobbing, god he was so hot. “Purely coincidental love, and I do have eyes Emma. You are a pretty blonde lass; I just didn’t know your name when I described you is all” and she looked at Ruby. Ruby smirked, and turned to chat up Graham, and Will already engrossed in a conversation with Belle. Not wanting to leave MM out, Emma tries to engage her friend in conversation, but MM is looking at her phone. “Hey guys, Dave just got off work, I am going over, see you later” she said in a sing song voice and they all nodded at her. Emma gulped her beer, that just left the dangerously hot Killian next to her to converse with.

“Do you like pinball Emma?” and she looks at him, “Sure” she says smiling and he nods, reaching into his pocket pulling out a few quarters. “I see Golden Tee, wanna play?” and she nods following him to the opposite corner of the bar. “It was getting a bit suffocating over there, and with your friend’s departure, I figured you might like to stretch your legs” and she smiles at him. “I’ll go first, what are we betting?” she asked. He rubbed his lower lip with his thumb thinking it over “If you win, I’ll pay your tab” she smiled at that, “and if you win…” she questioned “I get your phone number.” She swallowed “deal.”

They agreed to three rounds, and she lost the first round, but beat him in the second. This round they were tied, and Killian released the lever, the lights began going off. “I’ll take your number now” and he smirked at her. Right as she was about to respond “Last call” was announced and the lights flickered. She smirked, “Maybe next time” and she spun around to go get her purse noticing Ruby, Graham, and Will standing outside smoking by Belle. “Last call, I’m heading home, and she waved” Ruby hugging her, “take him home with you Em” She rolled her eyes, “See you tomorrow” and waved at them.

She looked around but Killian had vanished apparently, she waved to Jeff, paying her tab, and headed out the door to the sidewalk. “You didn’t think I’d let you slip away that easily; did you love?” and she smiled and turned around. Killian was leaning against the front of the bar against the brick wall smoking a cigarette, playing with his lighter. She knew she was playing with fire, but she walked up to him slid her hands into that inky hair, and kissed him deeply, her tongue stroking his. His hands gripped her hips, and she leaned back catching him off guard by breaking the kiss. “Maybe next time” she purred, and she turned around walking down the street.

Killian sat there dazed. “Jesus Christ” he said looking after her, watching her blonde hair illuminated by the streetlamps, and saw her turn the corner. Whoever Emma was, she just rocked his entire world. The others came out, and Ruby gave him a look, “She is here quite often after 6” and he said nothing but nodded. Will and Graham razzed him the whole ride home about Emma, both had gotten the girls numbers, and were prattling on about them. “How did you make out with the lovely Emma?” Graham asked him, he shrugged, the irony of Grahams words not lost on him. “We played pinball, we didn’t really talk a whole lot” and Graham nodded. “You like her, don’t you?” and Killian didn’t respond, and Will hit him in the chest. “Jonesy, you like her a lot!” “Shove off, I hardly know anything about her, she is easy on the eyes though” and that’s all he gave them.

Emma got home, fire singing through her veins, and she was more awake than tired after a night of drinking. She opened her windows letting the night breeze into her flat laying on the couch listening to the other people walking home from the bars out her window, cars driving off, then the streets grew quiet. She ran her fingers over her lips, Killian was a dangerous man, but god he was so hot. She was smart in not giving him her number, leaving it to fate if their paths crossed again.

Emma was at work early, hardly getting any sleep at all. She worked in physical therapy, and the pay was pretty good, plus Belle was one of the receptionists so it was nice to work with her friend. Since she was two hours early, she decided to run on the treadmill before work. Belle came in at 7, surprised to see Emma there so early, running on a treadmill. Setting her stuff down, she walked towards Emma and stood in front of her friend. “Alright, out with it Swan” the brunette said to her. Emma slowed her pace and finished her run. “Jesus Belle you scared me” and she hit stop on the treadmill and began to stretch.

Belle sat on a chair next to her, “Wanna talk about it?” and Emma looked at her friend. “nope”, “Oh come on Emma, he seemed nice, he was very handsome” and Emma looked at her. “He looks like walking sex Belle, sheet clawing, mind blowing sex, and that is dangerous” was all she said continuing to stretch. Emma sat up, swigging her water, switching the subject “Will seemed nice” and Belles eyes lit up. “He is, really nice. I gave him my number. He texted me this morning asking me out this weekend” and Emma whistled. “Good man noticed what a treasure you are” and Belle laughed.

The Physical Therapist Dr. Hopper walked in waving good morning to them, and Emma ran to the break room to shower and change really quick, their first patient arriving in half an hour. Belle would try to figure out some details on Killian, just for her peace of mind. Emma had been in a really long relationship and was still pretty new to being single, she wasn’t a prude, but if Killian made Emma nervous, that meant she liked him, and that was a huge deal. Emma didn’t like anyone, ever. Random set ups, meet cutes, all failed, Emma not wanting to commit herself again. But something about this Killian sparked her interest, so Belle would just have to wait and see.

Killian woke up and laid in his bed staring at his ceiling. He kept seeing those sparkling green eyes, and that long blonde hair, her pink full lips, the smooth glide of her tongue against his, and he could practically smell her perfume, something like vanilla or lilac. He tossed and turned all night, his cock twitching. He could probably snag her number through one of her friends, but where would the fun in that be? She obviously was leaving it up to fate to decide if they were to meet again, and he would just make it easier by haunting that little dive bar at random times after 6. He got up and showered, throwing his uniform on, and headed out to work, trying to keep his mind on the cars he was repairing so he didn’t fuck up an engine.

Emma bounded out of work, a long day and while she would usually hit the bar up for a beer, she decided against it. Stopping at the corner market she grabbed a bottle of wine and headed home, deciding she would paint on her screened porch to keep herself occupied and her thoughts off Mr. Dark and Dangerous. She was grateful Belle didn’t push the issue, and Ruby had been quiet too today, no texts, no calls, no graphic GIF’s, or memes. Emma pushed it out of her head, and just popped the cork, and began drawing.

Belle walked into the bar, Ruby sitting at the counter talking to one of the bartenders. “Thanks for meeting me” she said sitting down. “So?” Belle asked, and Ruby smirked “Jones is his last name, works as a mechanic over at a body shop off Canon, drives a 67 GTO, has a brother in the Navy, unattached.” Belle nodded, “you sure work fast” and Ruby grinned. “I might have had Graham for lunch today” and her smile widened. Belle rolled her eyes, “Ruby, you just met him” she chastised her, and Ruby shrugged. “It was fun, I like him, it’s not serious” and Belle nodded, telling her about Will. They both agreed they would just nudge fate a little, there was too much hotness going to waste if they left them up to their own devices, Ruby and Belle each texting their new paramours’ vague plans for Saturday to get them all together again.

Killian walked into a pub near his flat meeting Graham and Will for a beer. He walked in and the two were already having a conversation, grabbing his own beer he flopped down in his chair at the table and the other two eyed him. “You look like shit, long day Jonesy?” Will asked him and he nodded. “Long day indeed” was all he said. “Well Graham here had little red riding hood for lunch today” and Graham whacked Will across the back of his head. “Oi, what was that for you wanker?” and Graham shook his head, “I didn’t have her for lunch, god you make it sound so crass. I like her, she called, and I saw her” Will looked at him “Is that what you call it? You ate her for lunch” and grinned.

“You’re an idiot” Graham said, and Killian laughed. “As long as the lass is willing, nothing wrong with that Humbert.” Graham just shook his head, “you both suck. How about you Will?” Will’s cheeks reddened, “I have a date with her Friday, taking her to dinner” and Killian whistled. “Good man, she seems like a nice lass” and Will nodded. Graham eyed Killian, “And you Jonesy?” “Me what?” he said. “Where will you be Saturday?” Graham asked. “No plans yet, why?” and Graham was quiet, “no reason, you guys want to plan to hang?” and they all agreed.

Will went to the bathroom, and Graham asked, “I was just curious is all if you had gotten Emma’s number” and he shook his head. “Nope, fraid not.” “Do you want me to get it for you?” Killian shook his head, “I am sure I will see her again sometime.” Graham felt his phone vibrate and looked at the very revealing photo Ruby had just sent him. “Um, we gotta go” and Killian laughed. “I’ll drop Will off, have fun” and Graham looked like his ass was on fire as he booked it out of there to his car. “Where’s Humbert?” Will asked puzzled, “Red Riding Hood called” and Will laughed. “She must crack a mean whip!” and Killian nodded, headed toward Eastown.

Emma groaned, why was she still thinking about Killian? She sighed and finally drifted off to sleep, tossing all night until she woke up. Her clit was throbbing and her skin sweaty. Fuck, she whispered. Breathing in and out, she tried to will her body to calm down, but those eyes, and that tongue was haunting her fucking dreams. She slid her hand between her legs, her clit swollen, and drenched. She was so close, it was almost ridiculous how close she was to coming, she slowly rubbed her wetness over her folds, and used her other hand to roll her nipples. She was so close, and she slid two fingers inside herself, plunging them in and out, imagining that voice in her ear begging her to come all over his hand, and she shattered, crying out in her room calling out his name. When she came back down, she fell back asleep, completely sated by the idea of a person she knew nothing about.

Killian let the hot water run over his shoulders, he couldn’t stop picturing her. Her soft skin, her smell, god that smile she gave him. It was fucking dazzling, and he did not get dazzled by women. He usually snuck out of their beds before they woke up, he didn’t go home and jerk off thinking about them, letting them consume his entire train of thought. But there he was, cock hard in his hand and picturing her perfect pink lips wrapped around him. He pictured her tanned freckled skin, and full breasts that were probably tipped in the loveliest shade of pink, he fisted himself harder, imagining her taking him into her throat, deeply and he sped up, moaning as hot jets of cum hit the tile, dripping down it and pictured it going down her throat. Bracing himself, he needed to get it together. He crawled into bed, worn out and drifted off to sleep.

Emma woke up and got in the shower and went about her day trying to distract herself. She stopped at the farmers market in Eastown, picking up fresh flowers, and a new candle. She wandered in and out of the shops, and sat on a bench, sketchpad in hand and people watched. Her phone buzzed, “Bar Saturday?” Ruby and Belles group text. “OK” she said and put it back down sipping at her cocoa and packed her stuff into her bag. Her watch showed it was 4, and she was just packing up and walking back to her car and she noticed a really gorgeous Red GTO parked behind her bug. She reached into her bag and looked down trying to find her keys in what she called the pit of despair of her bag, when someone collided with her knocking her cocoa down her white tank top soaking her.

“What the fuck man?” she said looking at her shirt which was soaked. Killian stilled “Emma?” She lifted her eyes and met Killian’s blue ones, the ones that had been haunting her day and night. “Oh shit, Hi Killian, sorry” He just stared for a minute, her shirt was thin, and he could see her bra through it now. A very lacy white bra. He swallowed, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you, obviously. Do you want to come up, borrow a tee shirt? She looked at him, “You live here?” “Aye, second floor. What are you doing down here love?”

“Farmer’s market, I was sketching- and apparently fated to have cocoa spilled all over me” she said smiling. He smiled back, “let me just grab something out of my car, and I’ll take you up and get you cleaned up.” She swallowed, and her eyes widened as he unlocked the GTO and grabbed a bag out of it, locking it again before he closed the door. “She is beautiful” she motioned to the car, and Killian looked at her. “You like cars?” She nodded. “Well, aren’t you just quite the surprise?” he said and turned to unlock his building and held the door for her. His heart was pounding, he led her up the stairs with a hand on her lower back directing her toward his loft. He opened his door and led her inside, her eyes widened. “Wow, this is amazing” and he nodded, “used to be a meat processing plant back at turn of the century, Will lives in the next building over” and she just looked around.

“Come on, let me get you a clean shirt, I can wash yours if you like, try to get that out for you” he smiled at her and she just nodded. Red Alert, Abort Abort Abort Emma “Sure, that would be nice” she smiled at him. “Guess fate had other plans today, huh?” and she swallowed. “I guess so” and she followed him through the doorway, big arched windows and a great view of the market. His room was tidy, very tidy. A hamper neatly tucked in the corner and he handed her a soft white tee shirt with a soft smile. “I am really sorry Emma” and she couldn’t handle it anymore. Swallowing she looked up at him, “Guess you were right about fate” and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

Was he reading her right? Her pupils dilated, the light green sparkling in the sunlight. He stepped toward her, her hand still holding onto the shirt he was handing her. “Emma?” “Fuck it” she said, and grabbed his shirt pulling him to her. He moaned, and tangled his fingers in her blonde curls, tilting her head just where he wanted, and sucked over her pulse point on her neck, just below her ear. Emma moaned, and his cock hardened painfully. Leaning back, he lifted the bottom of her tank up and over her head. White lace covered her perfect tits, he was knocked speechless, and Emma was stepping toward him and he gripped her hips, walking her back toward his bed and he pushed her down and back gently.

Hovering over her, he reached back to pull his shirt over his head and off, not caring where it landed. “In a rush?” she asked, her chest heaving, and her pupils blown wide. “You’ve been haunting me for days Emma” and he kissed his way down her neck and pulled the lace cups down under her breasts, pushing them upward. “I was right” “about what?” she moaned as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. “I imagined your nipples would be the loveliest shade of pink, and I love being right” he nuzzled it while plucking at the other one, and switched sides. Emma was lost, all coherent thoughts gone. “Killian” and he leaned over her, licking deeply into her mouth. “Please tell me you want me just as much as I want you” and she nodded breathless.

He stepped back and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing his jeans and boxers to the ground. Emma’s eyes widened; he had the biggest cock she had ever seen. She leaned up, unhooking her bra and stood to unbutton her jeans, slowly sliding them down, leaving only her white lace thong in place. He looked like he was going to eat her alive, predatory and so fucking hot. She bent forward giving him a view of her ass as she pulled her pants down and off. He picked her up, her legs going around his waist and he sucked and rubbed her nipples and dropped her on his bed, her golden hair fanning out. Emma looked at his cock, seeing the precum at the tip, and she licked her lips wanting to taste him. She looked up at him and he was looking at her in total awe.

She leaned up, pushing him gently onto his back and knelt between his legs, stroking him with her hand, and her other hand caressing his balls. He moaned loudly, she liked that. She leaned down and licked his slit, tasting him, “Emma fuck, please love” and she tightened her grip taking him into her mouth. His skin tasted salty, and he smelled so good, she moaned, and the vibration made his whole-body jerk. His fingers wove into her hair, pushing it to one side and over her shoulder. She let him slip out of her mouth with a wet plop, “You want to watch me suck your cock Killian?” He leaned up on his elbow and she slowly took him back into her mouth, keeping her eyes locked on his. His tongue swiped along his lower lip and she took him to the back of her throat and his eyes rolled back and he hit the bed. She kept going, taking him to the edge and withholding his orgasm, drawing it out. “Please love, Emma” he cried out, he was wrecked as he called out for her, and she took him deep, humming and he went off like a geyser, his cum hitting her throat and she swallowed it all, licking him clean.

Chest heaving, he opened his eyes. Holy fuck, he leaned up on his elbows looking at her. “Are you…” and he yanked her to him rolling atop her. He licked at her lips, seeking entrance to her mouth. His hands were everywhere, his fingers pulling and tugging on her nipples, sucking on them, deep pulls, and light grazes of his teeth. Her fingers went into his hair, her nails scratching his scalped as she arched her back. He released her and began kissing down her stomach, nosing at the scrap of lace covering her from his sight. Leaning back on his heels, he hooked his fingers and pulled it down her legs and spread her thighs. “Gods you’re bloody gorgeous” and he saw her wetness coating her, her pretty pink cunt swollen, and he had to have her.

He leaned in breathing her in, her sweet scent calling to his blood like a siren. He placed a soft kiss over her mound and used the tip of his tongues to tease her clit. She bucked and cried out, and he splayed his large hand over her stomach holding her still. “You taste amazing Emma” and he flattened his tongue licking her up and down, she felt like she was burning from the inside out. She released his hair and fisted his comforter. He moaned as her arousal washed down his throat, he inserted two fingers into her, and she cried out his name, her legs shaking against him. “Gods you’re so tight, so fucking hot love” and kept licking at her. He could feel her walls clamping down on him, and he kept going, curling his fingers just slightly to rub that hidden spot, and Emma saw stars and screamed his name. He lapped lightly at her, swallowing the gush of arousal, rubbing her through her orgasm and brought her down gently.

Her chest heaving, her perfect tits jiggling with each panted breath. He eased his fingers out of her licking them clean and leaned over her to grab a condom out of his nightstand. He leaned back and rolled it on. “Emma open your eyes love” and she opened them, the green a dark shade and he loomed over her rubbing his cock against her folds. “Tell me you want me Emma, I am dying to have you love” and she responded by yanking him down by the neck to her mouth, tasting each other on her tongue. It was so hot. “Yes, Killian, I want you to fuck me” and he groaned, pushing slowly into her.

Emma groaned at the stretch, he was easily the largest guy she had ever been with, and he was gentle easing into her. His eyes snapped shut at the tightness of her cunt, pulling him deeper into her. They were both trembling, and he pushed in as far as he could, holding back to let her to adjust to him. She bit her bottom lip, and he slid a hand under her ass lifting her just enough to slide all the way in. She moaned as he hit the bottom of her, feeling completely overwhelmed by the sensation of her tight cunt around him, the heat of her walls scorching him through the rubber. “Killian, I need you, I need you to move” and he did. Dragging himself slowly in and out of her, until she sighed and relaxed into him, and he began to move faster.

Emma locked her ankles around him, her heels digging into his ass pushing him so deep it almost hurt. She held on to him as he fucked her so hard that she felt another orgasm brewing hard. “Killian” she cried, and he slowed, “are you ok?” leaning onto his forearm, he brushed her sweaty curls off her forehead, and she nodded, “I don’t want to come without you” she smiled breathless, and he kissed her. “I’m right here with you Emma” and he continued at his pace, pushing them both higher and higher, his arms trembling and her legs shaking. She arched slightly and the movement had him rubbing over that spot deep inside her. He could feel the ridge every time the tip of his cock grazed it, she moaned louder, and he kept going. His orgasm was building at the base of his spine, he felt it coming and he began pumping harder into her, her walls clamping down around him and he saw stars as his orgasm tackled him from behind and hers sending her screaming over the edge.

They lay there sweaty and still joined. Killian laid his head on her chest listening to her heart pounding below and caught his breath. He leaned back pulling out of her slowly and she winced slightly, but mostly at the loss of how he felt inside her. He felt like his entire world just flipped on its axis and he looked over at her lying beside him. He leaned up on his elbow, tucking her curls behind her ear, and she blushed slightly. “That was, I don’t even know what that was” she said and giggled. He smiled, “you’re perfect, Emma. Everything I dreamt you would be and so much more love” and she shut her eyes, her long black lashes fanning out against her flushed cheeks.

“Please don’t tell me this was a one-time thing Emma” he said as he kissed her shoulder and she opened her eyes, “I am pretty sure fate wouldn’t have let this happen if it wasn’t meant to be”. He nodded locking his eyes on hers. “Emma, what’s your last name?” “Swan” she said, and he smiled. “Emma Swan, the most beautiful lass I have ever seen, and the best sex I have ever had in my life” and she giggled. “What is your name?” “Killian Jones” and she smiled. She held her hand out, “It’s nice to meet you Jones” and he smirked, burying his face in her neck and tucking her against him, of course she fit perfectly against him. “Oh Swan, I don’t think I am ever going to let you go now” he murmured, and she smiled looking over at him “Good.”

Ruby and Belle tried calling Emma a few times, unable to get her on the phone. They were starting to get worried; she hadn’t picked up her phone or answered a text for a whole day. She had called into work early and left a message on the machine Belle said, worried that she was sick, so Ruby went by her apartment with her spare key to check on her in case she needed anything. Ruby called Belle to say her car wasn’t there and she wasn’t home, her bed made and nothing out of place. “Where is she?” they sat on Emma’s couch and thought, “do you think she is ok?” Ruby asked worried, and Belles’s phone vibrated, it was Will calling.

“One Sec Ruby, let me take this. Hey Will, what? Emma? A yellow bug, why? Ohhhh” and she began slapping Ruby’s arm excitedly. “Ouch what! That hurts” Ruby whined slapping her back. “Will- I will call you back!” “What?” Ruby asked her. “Will said a yellow bug has been parked behind Killian’s car in Eastown for the last two days, and he has heard nothing but moaning and screaming from Killian’s front door for two days, the neighbors have been complaining through the whole building. Ruby covered her mouth and started laughing hysterically. Fate is funny like that.

@teamhook @holdingoutforapiratehero @kymbersmith-90 @kmomof4@lassluna @pirateherokillian @xhookswenchxstahlop @elizabeethan @whimsicallyenchantedrose @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @killianswannn @swanlovato @djlbg @kristi555 @laschatzi @xarandomdreamx @lkles08 @wyntereyez @xhookswenchx @yasbio2015 @tiganasummertree @winterbaby89 @wefoundloveunderthelight @let-it-raines @jonesfandomfanatic @searchingwardrobes @andiirivera @gingerchangeling @everything-person @klynn-stormz @ohmakemeahercules @donteattheappleshook @bluewildcatfanatic @the-darkdragonfly @demisexualemmaswan @grimmswan @spartanguard @ultraluckycatnd @thisonesatellite @captainswan21 @zaharadessert @mariakov81 @snowbellewells @xouatxcs @kiwistreetswan @batana54 @courtorderedcake @julesep3026 @xemmaloveskillianx @jarienn972 @carpedzem @daxx04 @winterbythesea @artistic-writer @scientificapricot @cocohook38 @badwolfreturns @onceratheart18 @justanother-unluckysoul @itsfabianadocarmo @xsajx @hookedonapirate @revanmeetra87 @superchocovian @nikkiemms @imlaxdris71 @therealstartraveller776 @kday426 @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @lassluna @swanslieutenant @bethacaciakay @jrob64 @sals86 @veryverynotgoodwrites @karlyfr13s @beckettj @chasedancer17 @lonelyspectator12 @gingerpoliglot @tomeandflickcorner @hookedonaswan @scribomaniac @optimisticgirl @thesschesthair @laschatzi @purplehawkcaptain

#emma swan #killian jones #once upon a time #captain swan

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amythedvdhoarder · 4 years

Text

Starting Over

Pairing: Bucky x reader

For the Flex Your Muscles Writing Challenge set up by @captain-rogers-beard

1st of June word prompt: Active

Summary: Set after the end of Endgame, Bucky wants to start over, he just isn’t sure how

Warnings: mentions of character death (end of endgame) but mostly fluff

Word count: 1.2K

Authors notes: GIF not mine. Never done a writing challenge before, thought it would be a good way to expand my fanfic writing. First ever one-shot. Hope you enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

After the second fight with Thanos everything was different. The world was still mourning the loss of Tony, Nat and the many others who had died trying defeat the evil titan. Steve had obviously changed. A lot. He had lived 2 lives; one saving the world over and over again and one with his true love Peggy.

Bucky knew Steve had intended to stay behind when he returned the stones to their rightful places in time. He didn’t begrudge his friends decision, in fact he thought it was brave. Steve deserved a life, one where the world didn’t demand so much of him. People had at first been confused why Steve handed the shield to Sam, but not Bucky. This was another way that Steve had looked after him, tried to protect him. He had given Bucky the chance to start over again and try to have his own life.

That was exactly what he was trying to do. With the Avengers compound still in ruins, Pepper and Happy had made sure that what was left of the team had somewhere to stay. She bought a tower block not far from the old Avengers tower in New York and had organised the refurb of a couple of floors. This gave everyone space to live, train and be together in the aftermath of recent events.

Bucky had taken up Pepper’s offer until he figured out what he wanted to do with his life. He had a specific skill set but beyond this he had no idea. After catching up with Steve he realised that he wanted to settle down and enjoy life, but he was too aware of his past. For now, Bucky was just trying to find a routine consisting mostly of going to the gym. Which was exactly where he was now.

“Every time I come down here to try and get away from people you’re always here Barnes” Sam threw is arms up in exasperation sending Bucky a hard glare.

Bucky shrugged. “Gotta stay active bird brain.” Bucky didn’t want to tell that idiot the real reason he was here so much. He carried on smashing his fists into the punching bag raised in front of him, ignoring the comments Sam was muttering under his breath. 15 minutes, and a punch bag later, Bucky sat learning against the wall taking a sip of water, his eyes flicking to the doors every so often.

“What you …” Sam’s words were cut off when the door to the gym suddenly opened and a young woman walked in. Bucky’s hands immediately flew to his short messy locks as he tried to smooth them, a smile forming on his lips. Sam rolled his eyes as he realised what was going on. He looked at the woman walking towards the infatuated super soldier. She had towel slung over shoulder, dressed in black leggings and loose vest which exposed a hint of her strappy sports bra beneath. Her long Y/C/H tied up into a messy bun, a smile adorned her feminine face and her Y/C eyes were sparkling as she walked closer to the man sat on the floor.

‘Hey James” she spoke softly. “Y/N, didn’t expect to see you here” a blatant lie but you let it slide. You offered a hand down to Bucky which he took willingly. You pulled him up and let your eyes linger on his as he grinned down at you. Realising he was still holding your hand, he pulled it back, a blush forming on his cheeks.

A few weeks ago, you had taken a break from work as a SHEILD agent and decided to hit the gym. You had your headphones in and were running at a steady pace matching the beat of your music. 5 miles in you got the feeling that someone was watching you and glanced around to find some crystal blue eyes studying you. You had slowed the treadmill and turned your music off and started chatting.

Bucky was infamous throughout SHEILD but you had never met him before. You had heard all about his past but as you studied the man, you could see a softness in his eyes and heard a gentleness in his voice. You were immediately spellbound by him, of course you couldn’t deny that he was gorgeous. He had a strong, muscly frame but he moved with grace. You could tell he was self-conscious about his arm, opting to keep it behind him as you chatted away to him. You talked about work at first but then the conversation flowed easily onto other, more personal topics, such as family, friends and even relationships.

Bucky upon hearing you were single felt his stomach flip slightly. He couldn’t understand how no-one had snapped you up already. You were funny, kind and the first time in a long time he felt comfortable being around someone. He had to fight to keep the disappointment of his face when he had to say goodbye to you later that day. “See you around Y/N?” You caught the question in his tone. “I hope so James, it was great getting to know you a bit.” With that she had left. Bucky replayed how you said his name over and over. On that day he made it his mission to run into you again and ask you on a date.

After weeks of spending hours in the gym in the hope you would walk through those doors again, you were finally here. You looked at him sweetly, and could see he nervous by the way his hands fidgeted slightly. His eyes were shifting as if he were having some sort of internal debate. He slowly moved his flesh hand towards you and tucked a loose strand of hair back behind your ear, his thumb trailed down your cheek delicately resulting in a soft sigh escaping from your lips. His eyes locked onto yours, you could feel your heart hammering in anticipation. “Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner sometime?” You were absolutely stunned, you hadn’t expected this at all. Bucky Barnes could have any girl he wanted, but he wanted to take you out. He must have been out of his mind. Bucky started to step away from you, taking the delay in your response as rejection. He silently began to curse himself and looked to the floor.

“How’s tomorrow night? I have work until 6 but am free later.” His head shot up and sent you a lopsided grin. “Yeah tomorrows great Y/N, I’ll meet you downstairs at 7.30?” You nodded “can’t wait” as he started picking up his belongings. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, “see you tomorrow doll.” Your hand touched the cheek he had just kissed as you watched him leave. “See you James” you muttered to yourself as the doors closed behind him.

A loud chuckle erupted from the corner behind you. You spun around to find the falcon laughing to himself. You scowled slightly at him waiting for an explanation. “So you’re the reason he has been spending every waking minute down here.” You laughed to yourself, head shaking in disbelief. You were going on a date with James Buchanan Barnes.

#flex your writing muscles challenge #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky imagine #bucky fluff #steve rodgers #sam wilson #marvel #avengers

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quietlyimplode · 4 years

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Whumptober2020 - Day 15 - Into the Unknown.

Day 1 - Waking Up Restrained // Day 2 - Kidnapped // Day 3 - Manhandled // Day 4 - Caged// Day 5 - Rescue // Day 6 - No More // Day 7 - Support // Day 8 - Isolation // Day 9 - Take Me Instead // Day 10 - Blood Loss/Trail of Blood // Day 11 - Psych 101 // Day 12 - Broken Down // Day 13 - Oxygen Mask // Day 14 - Alternative Prompt - Comfort // Day 15 - Into The Unknown

Natasha’s POV on therapy, and her first therapy session.

Therapy not a foreign concept, having received it before in the early stages of her journey into Shield but the unknowns of voluntarily going, is making her wary. It’s weaknesses that she can’t abide by.

If her handlers saw her now, she’s be six feet under or in prisoned for re-education; mind wiped, start again. Sometimes it’s a consideration and feels almost preferable to working through what she has to.

——-

Clint convinces her to go. After finding her passed out in a bolt hole in Alphabet city, bleeding all over her sheets and having visions of her team mates telling her, her worst fears, her worst imaginations, he’s not wrong in saying that something has to give. Cognitively, she knows this.

The whole day she’s on edge. Avoiding Clint. Screw him. This is his fault.

She can work through her own damn triggers.

Clint’s found his old therapist, Tony’s hired her.

She’s coming to the tower at 4.

Natasha spends the whole morning in the gym, ribs be damned, bruising and cuts make the session more painful but almost cathartic to work on. She can only hide in here so long.

She goes to her room and tries to read.

Heads to the kitchen. Sees Steve talking with Clint. Leaves.

Heads back to the gym. Maybe a run will help.

Clint and Steve find her in the Gym, panting her way through her third mile. Clint has the concerned look on his face, one of ‘what happened’ and ‘how can I help?’. She gets off the treadmill, pushes past both of them and leaves. Goes back to her room and showers.

Restlessly, she tries to read again. Stuffs around on her phone, looks at the time. Tony did say four right?

She heads down to check with him, the only one she can stand being around, the only one who’s not hovering, walking on eggshells and being a general pain in the ass.

She opts for a different tact when she gets there.

“How does this work?”

Tony looks up, surprised.

“What do you mean?” Natasha takes a deep breath. She hates this so much.

“I mean how does this work? I need…” she takes a pause and thinks what she’s actually asking; “a therapist and you just happen to get one that Clint knows and trusts, that will come to the tower? What did you do?”

Tony side eyes her, “I made some calls, paid some salaries. It’ll be fine.” He smiles, Natasha stops listening, waits til he finishes talking, rolls her eyes and stalks out. Stays just outside the room remembers why she went to Tony in the first place, walks back in again and waits til he turns around.

“God you’re like a ninja.”

“You just don’t pay attention.” She snaps.

“My hyper vigilance works differently to yours.” He retorts.

She pauses.

“When does she get here?”

“I don’t know, Nat, soon? I said 4, so I assume she’ll be here at 4.” She glances at the clock 3.50. Feels her breathing quicken, chest heavy. Nerves are now at an all time high. Leaving quickly she heads for the only space with air, the roof.

Clint’s already up there, she turns to leave but he spots her, “Nat, wait.” He calls.

She’s having difficulty getting her breath under control, feels more of a heaving, she needs to sit, buckles first.

Clint's running over and she holds up a hand. A warning, don’t talk; don’t touch.

She gets back to her feet. Looks at him in the eyes, the fucking eyes of worry. Makes a decision then and there.

“I’m not going.” She says.

“Tasha..”

“No. You don’t get to decide this for me. I went with it, saw some merit in it; but you know as well as I do; this is not how we work on things. This is not how we work through things. Send me on another mission, get back on the horse, who cares? So I have another trigger - who on this team doesn’t? Bruce is triggered by being fucking angry, and he doesn’t have to go? Why should I?”

He lets her finish her tirade.

“You promised.” He says in Russian for emphasis.

“I’m not going.” She replies in kind.

Staring at each other they’re interrupted by Tony swaggering towards them.

“Nat?” He calls out.

“She’s here.” Clint says.

Natasha is pissed. Traitor.

“I’m not going.” She informs Tony.

“Nat,” Clint tries.

Tony doesn’t even pause before heading into a lecture, it makes Natasha think that he’s been thinking about it all day.

“Natasha, the Doctor is waiting, you agreed. Give it ten minutes - five even, if you don’t like what she’s got to say you can leave.”

Clint's nodding.

Natasha scowls. Pissed that this all feels so targeted.

“Come on. If you don’t go, you have to hang out with me and Clint. And you know the whole time, we’re all going to be thinking that you should have just ripped the bandaid off and gone. Plus, if not today; then I’ll ask her to come back tomorrow; or the next day; or the one after. You get me? We aren’t letting this go. You need someone, that’s not; well, us.”

Well fuck.

She doesn’t want to be around them. She doesn’t want to be around anybody now. She feels like she’s them down already and feels betrayed. They’re supposed to have her back.

And then.

What if it doesn’t work, and she’s beyond saving? What if she lets them down?

She watches as Clint walks towards the door, holds it open.

“Come on.” He says, “put on an alarm and suck it up.”

She shoots Clint a look that she hopes conveys, fuck you and the high horse you rolled in on, and rolls her eyes. Follows Clint through the door. Tony is behind them. She counts her steps trying to alleviate panic.

They all but frog-march her to the office. Stand next to her.

All the feelings in the world are telling her to run. Leave. Never come back. Screw them; she doesn’t need them.

But.

She promised.

Taking the step inside she’s met with the kindly looking therapist that Clint told her about.

“Hello,” the woman says.

“Hello,” says Natasha.

The woman introduces herself, explains a bit on how she works. Natasha meets her with silence.

She is standing in front of the door, shakes her head when the therapist offers her a seat.

“So, do you have any questions?”

Can I leave? She thinks.

“What happens now.. Today?” She clarifies.

“Usually I’d ask why you’re here but your bandages and bruises tell me stories I feel you’re not ready to tell yet. So maybe we’ll start with strategies.” She pauses. Thinks.

“What do you know of grounding?”

“Some.” They’ve used it before, techniques that help pull you from flashbacks. Works but often hit and miss.

“Grounding helps us when we are experiencing big emotions, when reality doesn’t feel real or you just can’t get that breath under control. It helps us refocus on what’s happening in the present moment. You can use grounding techniques to help create space from distressing feelings in nearly any situation.” She pauses. “We’re going to be more targeted in our use of these. I get the feeling that you’re a woman of few words. How do you feel about just answering me with single words?”

Natasha feels positive about it.

Nods.

The therapist continues. “Ok, great. If you were to use a technique would it be mental, physical or soothing? Before you answer, a mental technique might be doubling numbers or thinking in categories, a physical technique might be putting your hands in water or a smell or touching something nearby; lastly the soothing techniques are those like teaching yourself to use words of affirmation or listing your favourite things or planning an activity.”

Natasha thinks.

Definitely not the last one. Likes the idea of mental games but physical is the one she lands on. Tactile prompt is what she’s always used, it’s harder to fake and doesn’t rely on her brain to function, easier for those around her to help her tune into. Doesn’t say this out loud. Replies.

“Physical.”

The therapist smiles. “Ok, great. So I’m going to suggest some ideas; maybe tell me one that you think might work for you, or that you’d feel comfortable letting someone know what to do when a flashback comes or your body or brain doesn’t feel like your own. Is this making sense?”

Natasha nods again.

“Ok, so hands in water noticing the change in temperature and the flow, or touching or picking up something around you, using your breath - breathing deeply, holding a piece of ice, a scent - like perfume or something that’s familiar, maybe moving your body, or listening to what’s going on around you, feeling your body, and then there’s the 5/4/3/2/1 method of 5 things you see, 4 things you touch and so on.”

She pauses. Waits. Expects a response.

Natasha looks at her feet, realises she’s still standing. Wants to sit. Pulls the chair out so the back is against the wall and curls inside.

“Hearing and touch.” She says. “harder to fake.” She elaborates.

The therapist nods.

“Ok, good. Good to know. Hearing is easy but sometimes needs another to tune us into it. Is there someone that can help you with that? That you’d feel comfortable with disclosing this?”

Natasha nods. Thinks of Clint. Knows instinctively that all she’s learnt from him, he’s learnt from this woman.

“Ok, if they’re not around then I want you try and acknowledge when you’re on the cusp of panic - put on music you know, like, know the words or tune to. Can you think of anything that would fit this?”

Natasha nods again.

“Ok; touch. Do you have any issue with people touching you, when you’re in panicked states?” Feels personal. But not wrong. Natasha looks up, sharply. Makes eye contact.

“Then this is going to be a bit different, prompt your body to tune into whatever it’s touching, sitting on, holding; take note of the temperature , the colour - anything you can think of. Does that make sense?”

“Yes.” Natasha says.

“Ok. So here, if you’re ever feeling or looking unsafe here I’m going to prompt you. Like practice, right? I might say something like the air conditioning is on or that I am talking to you. What I will also tell you is that sometimes you need to let the thoughts come.”

Pauses. Continues.

“Have you ever stopped trying to think about something and the more you try to stop it, the more the thought becomes repetitive til you can’t stop thinking about it? I’m going to remind you to let the thoughts come; but let them go too. Let it flow through you. Lastly I might tell you you’re safe. But as safety is a concept of the mind I might not always tell you that. What I’ll say now is that your words, your thoughts are safe here in the room, with me. So if you ever feel like talking through something that’s happened or going to happen or anything from the past, this is somewhere where you can do that. I’ll let you know that Mr. Stark has placed me on retainer so you call I come, easy right?”

Natasha rolls her eyes and the therapist gives her an easy smile.

“So, here’s where I tell you let’s give this a try. If it works it works, if it doesn’t that’s ok too, we just try something different. Just remember when you’re working through it, and things are ok keep working. If you feel yourself struggle - take a break. If you’re having a tough time; frustrated or overwhelmed with yourself, remove yourself from the situation. Our goal is to protect yourself and stay safe,” she smiles.

Natasha gets up.

“Natasha, would you like us to touch base daily or every second day?

Ahh the illusion of choice. The therapist is lucky that she seems competent, Natasha knows why Clint had referred her, the intelligence in her words and being able to read her is skilful.

“Second day,” she responds. What the hell, Tony’s right, what has she got to lose?

She side steps to the door, but the therapist isn’t finished yet,

“Last thing, do you have any questions?” Huh.

She doesn’t think so.. Hand on the doorknob she shakes her head.

“Ok, thanks for coming today. It’s lovely to meet you.” Natasha turns to acknowledge the woman. Gives a small smile

——-

#whumptober2020 #day 15 #into the unknown #clintasha #natasha romanoff #black widow #clint barton #tony stark #hawkeye #marvel fic #natasha goes to therapy #long fic #yay halfway

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livingouttheworsttimeline · 4 years

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Why am I so tired all the time?

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up after wetting the bed. change child, change bedsheets, replace drinks, turn night time music back on, convince youngest child that it is in fact still night time. Climb back into bed a 4:55.

5:00 am: eldest child comes to tell me that youngest child wants to play. I am aware, because I have heard her loudly declaring such since I left their room. Tell oldest child to go back to bed. Pray that, somehow, for the very first time, they will put themselves back to sleep.

5:05 am: give up on hopeless prayers. Get up and take both children to the living room. Change the youngest into underwear. Log into tablets and override the “do not turn on until 6 am” setting. Wait for coffee to finish brewing.

5:23 am: extract self from underneath 2 children and a dog to pour first cup of coffee. It’s half caff, because spouse has a heart condition. Remind self that I can have several cups with impunity.

5:45 am: Eldest child is unhappy with the pre-made breakfast provided for him the night before. When asked what he would like to eat, he responds, “bacon, chinese food, or pizza.” Explain, again, that we need a variety of foods for our bodies to grow strong. Spend 15 minutes convincing him to eat $5 worth of blackberries as a compromise.

6:12 am: Finish 2nd cup of coffee, realize that eldest child’s night time pull up is overflowing with poop. Usher him to the bathroom for a bath. Feel humbled when I realize that I spent 10 years in grad school, and yet I am still reduced to wiping shit off another person. Calmly remind eldest child that he is capable of using the potty, and that I have confidence in him.

6:30 am: Spouse awakes, complains that he slept poorly. Roll eyes and go back to drinking 3rd cup of coffee, in between being elbowed in the stomach and explaining that no, I do not know how to work the video game you just downloaded 15 seconds ago. Remind self that I am their physical and mental safe place, which is worth the literal bruises and mental stress.

6:45 am: extract self from pile of children and dog by physically lifting each dependent off my lap. Verify that spouse is up for supervision duties, collect running clothes, and start treadmill.

6:47 am: stop treadmill because youngest child has entered the room and decided that I will not run today because it’s not fair. Remind self that arguing fairness with a 3 year old is the definition of futility. Gently remind her that I love her, she is a big girl, and she can play independently while I run.

6:49 am: start treadmill again. Nagging calf pain seems to be back. Scale back workout, remind self that value of the run is not the distance. Do extra core workout to compensate.

7:30 am: shower. Mediate 2 sibling fights from shower. Fortunately, children are camped out in the bathroom with me, so I don’t have to leave a trail of water through the house to interact.

7:35 am: Marvel at the thought that spouse takes a 45 min shower. EVERY DAY. Note gratitude that I am working from home, and no longer have to style hair and makeup.

7:36 am: Refill kid drink cups for the 3rd time today. Spend 30 minutes convincing, cajoling, and bribing kids to put on clean underwear. We no longer try for clothes.

8:06 am: turn on work computer. Respond to a weekend full of emails. Handle 5 pressing tasks for side hustle, reasoning that if I get them out of the way, I can push the rest of that to do list to after working hours.

8:45 am: Answer persistent pounding on locked office door. refill drinks and provide snack. Reassure youngest child that mommy is still here, but she needs to work.

9:03 am: debate whether going to the bathroom is worth leaving the office and the begging that ensues. Make wrong choice either way.

9:15 am: morning meetings get shuffled later, because childless coworkers “are running late this morning.” Marvel at the concept of 9:15 am being early.

9:30 am: solid wall of meetings until noon. Update team on status at end of last week, despite not remembering what you just ate for breakfast. Realize that you haven’t eaten breakfast. Run training and introduction for new team member. You are the only woman on the team, so you get do the training because “you’re so good at explaining things.”

12:00 pm: Call youngest child’s preschool, make sure you can bring by her supplies and still adhere to Covid protocols. Preschool is also side hustle, so cram a parent and employee meeting into a single hour. Explain that new registration system will, in fact, be more efficient than old paper system. Remind preschool staff that we committed to going paperless. Make small talk with preschool teachers until the hour is up. Hop in the car and speed home.

1:00 pm: children adhere to my side the second I walk in the door. Spouse is in the shower. Children have eaten approximately 3 bites of their pb&j sandwiches, and demand different lunch. Remember that you have not eaten lunch yet. Refill drinks for 4th time, provide reasonable lunch alternatives.

1:25 pm: Remember that you scheduled a meeting for 1:30, and. you need to be present. Calculate that extraction from children is not possible in 5 minutes, and take meeting with youngest child on lap. Despite having weaned 1.5 years ago, youngest child decides that you’re still nursing, and pulls down top on video call. Spend most of call switching on and off mute. Catch every 3rd word.

1:45 pm: apologize to team, promise to reschedule a follow up with more focus. Hang up, extract youngest child’s arm from shirt. Refill drinks for the 5th time. Bribe children to get in bed for a nap with the promise of a visit to nana and pop this afternoon.

1:48 pm: children’s beds have been stripped, due to accidents last night, but spouse “doesn’t know where the clean sheets are”, and so hasn’t remade beds. Children petition to nap on the floor. Explain floor is not comfortable. Find clean sheets, make 2 beds, take everyone to the potty, tuck both children in.

2:20 pm: Realize that you have 40 minutes of actual work time left today, outside of meetings. Try to prioritize, with the knowledge that whatever you get done will not be enough. Deny request for drink refill.

3:00 pm: kick off afternoon meeting block. Try frantically to make the 40 minutes that you did get to work sound like a whole lot more. Wake children up during bathroom break so that they’ll be able to sleep tonight. Refill drinks for 5th time.

3:45 pm: Curse the fact that youngest child has inherited your distaste for waking up. Gently coax her awake in between meetings.

4:00 pm: Wrap up last task from meetings, make list of all new tasks. Realize that today you have checked off one task, and received 7 new ones. Promise self that you’ll get your work laptop back out after the kids are in bed. Ignore the sense of despair that threatens to overtake you.

4:20 pm: Bribe children into putting on clothes with promise of fruit snacks at grandparent’s house. Feel mildly guilty as you put on your second round of workout gear. Load children in double jogging stroller, jog to grandparent’s house.

5:00 pm: collect children to head home for dinner.

5:10 pm: threaten no more fruit snacks if children don’t put on their shoes. Grandparents go get them more fruit snacks.

5:23 pm: explain that the sun is going down in 24 minutes, and that we have to leave now to get home before it gets dark. Remember that time is immaterial. Wish for that blissful sense of ignorance.

5:37 pm: push 100 lbs of toddler and stroller up giant, hilly driveway. Spouse greets us with “what’s for dinner?” Politely remind him that he promised to plan and make dinner while we were gone. Grit teeth at his “I didn’t know what to make” response. Quickly run through available, easy, acceptable options and make dinner.

6:15 pm: serve dinner. Eat own dinner in 2.5 minutes, then spend rest of meal refilling drinks and plates, heating up or cooling down, and cajoling children to eat anything at all.

6:45 pm: Announce that tonight we don’t need to take a bath. Youngest child immediately melts down, because she wanted to take a bath. Eldest child melts down because, even thought he didn’t want to take a bath, he wanted to taunt his sister while she was in the bath.

6:53 pm: Loose temper for 1st time today, scream that children need to brush their teeth. Step away to calm down. Spouse gets upset because “You can’t handle the children without yelling.” Bite tongue all the way through to avoid snarky reply.

7:10 pm: read 2 story books. Read one more. Explain again, that mommy cannot read anymore, and daddy will come read for a little while. Extract self from pile of children, and tuck both in. Hugs, kisses, and fist bumps. Twice. Then once more, after you’ve left the room.

7:15 pm: contemplate second shower. Decide that you didn’t really get that sweaty on the walk, and it’s not like you’re going out. Collapse on sofa with phone and mindless tv.

7:25 pm: spouse comes into the living room after harrowing duty of reading for 10 minutes. Hand over the remote, pull out side hustle lap top and finalize tasks for the day.

8:30 pm: remember that you promised to do main job work. Bring out that laptop to run some code while you continue side hustle work.

9:15 pm: Finish side hustle work, give up on main job work for the evening. Mentally apologize to team for not making more progress, promise to self that you’ll be more focused tomorrow.

9:30 pm: tell spouse that you need to go to bed. Endure his eye roll and disappointed face. Apologize for needing to go to sleep so early, and reassure him that you’re doing the best you can.

10:15 pm: eldest child has night terror. Comfort eldest child until he’s calm. Comfort youngest child, who is upset at brother’s screams. Realize that spouse is still watching tv in the living room while you comfort children.

11:00 pm: listen to youngest child cry for 10 minutes until spouse begrudgingly tends to her. Remind self that it is not solely my job to comfort our children. Try to go back to sleep.

3 am: eldest child wakes up with question about mushrooms that is vitally important. Answer to best of middle-of-the-night ability, acknowledge that you appreciate his curiosity, but that there are times when questions are not appropriate. Get him back to sleep.

4:30 am: youngest child wakes up.

#working mom #why am i so tired

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joshslater · 5 years

Text

The Reformatory

A rewrite of jd07201990′s swimmer story. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

T -1

Dear diary or however you are supposed to start.

So tomorrow is the big day. Dad and I are sleeping at a Holiday Inn at the other side of the state. Well, I'm obviously not sleeping. How could I? So I thought I should start a journal of some sort to document this experience.

Some background. Two months ago I was in a fight with Mark Samberg on the football team. It had gotten pretty bad between the football schmucks and us swimmers. The jockheads were constantly harassing us, calling us fags and prissy boys. It happened often and was getting boring. As the captain of the swim team I asked Mark to knock it off and get his players in line. Idiot as he is he tried to knock me out instead, and I lost it. In our scramble I managed to knock him down and was about to kick him in the shin when he shifted and instead I connected with his knee. Apparently it fractured. He'll be able to walk and even run, but he'll not be able to play again for years, so he lost his Scholarship.

His family sued everyone they could. Me, the school, the swim coach. In the end all the lawyers sat down in a room with a local judge and came up with something they all could agree to. Mark gets some study assistance to get his grades up, the school had this quickly brushed under the carpet, and could pretend I was never student there. Me not graduating wasn’t really a blow, as my college fund now went to pay for Mark’s education, as compensation. They were rich enough to afford it anyway, but they wanted to see punishment. I get the honor to spend the next 180 days at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center, where I will "participate in all scheduled exercises, activities, therapies, meals and medication programs". They can tack on some extra days for bad behavior without going back to the judge, but essentially I get 6 months at bad boy camp for standing up to bullies.

What will I do there? No idea. The website talks a lot about work ethics and responsibility and working together with the local community. Sounds like labor camp to me. I'll guess we'll know tomorrow. But first we have to visit the hospital for a check up. My first day in prison will mostly not be in prison!

Day 1, Monday

We started with a checkup at the hospital, and man did they do a thorough job. Our appointment was at 10, but before that I had to fill out a form with 100 questions. The doctor spent more than 30 minutes doing the most extensive check I've ever had. Not only that, but after the check we had to go to the sample lab to draw blood, and finally I had a CT scan at noon. After that, and a quick lunch, we drove to the actual reformation center, which was in a smaller town 2 hours away.

It's an old boarding school building that they've turned into this "Reformation Center", and it clearly looks more like a prison than a school. Just a heap of two story brick and concrete buildings out in nowhere. Not much of security, but then everyone was there "voluntarily", meaning that we all had a proper punishment waiting for us if we left. I hugged dad goodbye and was shown to Mr. Kerwin’s office by the entrance guard.

Mr. Kerwin was a lean, ripped man in his forties that oozed military discipline. He explained that he was responsible for my rehabilitation and that he wouldn't start soft. He would give me a packed schedule, and if I didn't pull my weight he would add more days for "noncompliance". If I didn't like it I could run back to judge Stephenson and ask to start over in juvie.

Perhaps that would be better, because the schedule he showed me was totally insane.

4:30-5:00 Breakfast 5:00-8:00 Exercise pass 1 8:00-12:00 Work pass 1 12:00-12:30 Lunch 12:30-14:30 School 14:30-17:30 Work pass 2 17:30-18:00 Dinner 18:00-21:00 Exercise pass 2 21:30 Lights out

He explained that my breakfast, lunch and dinner would be pre-portioned and I was required to eat all of it. The exercise passes would be lead by himself or one of the assistants. Again, I would have to follow every instruction. The work passes were done at local businesses that wanted an extra hand, and changed depending on demand. The school passes were done as a group on whatever subject Mr. Reed selected.

Next he ordered me to get naked and place all my clothes on top of my bag and move to the other side of the room. Having done so he pointed at a stack of clothes on the table and told me to pick my size and get dressed. I quickly dressed in one of the track suits from the table. There was a baseball cap also, which confused me, but was told that it was instead of sunglasses when working outdoor.

With that I was given a rule book to study and was led by an assistant to my room where a dinner was waiting. Turkey, rice, water. I was reminded of lights out at 21:30 and wake up at 4:30. The assistant left and locked the door. 10 minutes later he came back with my journal book and pen, and told me that they'll keep the rest for now.

Having eaten the dinner and having three hours (I'm almost sure 21:30 is 9:30 PM) to kill before the lights go out I'm now summarizing the day. I'm sitting in something very similar to a prison cell. Bed, toilet, sink. Everything is clean, though somewhat worn. Looking into the mirror is kind of depressing though. I look like some jailed gang member.

It's kind of weird that I haven't met any of the other inmates, sorry students, here. I saw some of them while coming in, but perhaps this is their kind of hazing, or they do an official presentation tomorrow. Anyway, I should study the rule book and go to bed, since I didn't sleep much last night.

Day 2, Tuesday

So much to write about, so little time. I might have to split this into several entries since lights out is in 20 minutes.

I was awaken at 4:30 and given a tray with a large bowl of porridge and berries and some chalky smoothie or shake or whatever to drink. After that an assistant lead me to the gym room where we went over various machines, mainly for cardio. Elliptical, bike, treadmill. Weird thing was that it was only us two in the room during all three hours.

Sweaty and a bit tired I was then taken outside to a bus where some of the other boys where chilling. Apparently everyone else had breakfast between 7 and 8. They had no idea why I didn't join them there. The bus then drove around town and the driver announced who should exit where. My group of four people exited at a farm before town, only about 5 minutes away. I don't know exactly since I haven't been given my watch back.

There we spent hours just moving hay. Don't they know about tractors? Sweaty, itchy, tired and hungry we were then picked up and driven back. At lunch was the first time I saw the real common area. To my surprise there were more boys there than had been on the bus.

Everyone else could pick what they wanted from what was served, but I was given a ready tray with an heap of salmon and pasta. I was starving though, so it wasn't a problem to eat it all. I didn't have much time to talk, but the guys at my table were nice. Somewhat rough, as could be expected. Apparently you were chosen for the different work assignments, and if you were not picked you stayed at the center for sports or craft or similar things.

After Lunch followed a session with Mr. Reed. The first boring hour was on English grammar and the second boring hour on US geography. I aced the quizz getting all 50 states and state capitols right, so I didn't learn anything new after that. Then Mr. Reed announced who had work assignments, and I was again selected.

This time I and Troy were dropped off at a different farm where we spent almost three hours helping with fencing. Mainly carry posts and sawing them to length.

For dinner I had some meatballs with roasted sweet potatoes while everyone else had meatballs with tomato sauce. Mr. Kerwin picked me up and led me to the gym. Unlike the morning session this was all about weight training. Most of it was on finding my limits for different exercises while Mr. Kerwin pointed out how I could improve my form. You could tell that this was what he liked to do, and encouraged me to push a bit further. Once we were done I had a bottle of post workout mix of some sort and a very quick shower before rushing back to my room.

Here's the thing. My room is on a different floor than the other guys. Also, my schedule appears to be different and much more rigid than the rest of the guys. I also

Day 3, Wednesday

I couldn't finish the last entry before they cut the light. My entire body is in pain right now. I woke up like that, and it didn't go away all day. Same schedule as yesterday, but different tasks and different dishes. The assistant really pushed today during the morning session, so I was exhausted already at the bus. Planting bushes at the city park all morning didn't help. I got some rest during Reeds rehash of elementary math. Then back to doing fences, and top it all off with weight training. I asked Mr. Kerwin about the schedule and why it was so different from everyone else’s. He said that everyone's schedule is individual and that he'll adjust mine as needed.

One more weird thing before I fall to sleep. Everyone else is using their normal clothes. I haven't gotten mine back yet.

Day 4, Thursday

FUCK! I was back on moving hay today again, with Sam, Trevor and Rick. I'm still hurting like hell and Rick is one lazy motherfucker, so old fart Farmer Joe decided to complain. The end result is that I am getting 2 days added for noncompliance. Sam, Trevor and Rick got nothing. WTF!

Day 5, Friday

We were carrying merchandise all morning and Troy heckled me on how I got more days because of the piece of shit Rick. But he then said that it was a weird coincidence that every work shift I've been on has been the toughest one.

Instead of going to class I met with the doctor from the hospital who made a visit. He asked me about how I felt, where I was sore etc. Then he gave me an injection which he said would ease things for me. I didn't feel much different, but I was getting really sleepy getting back to Mr. Reeds class, but it might just be that everything he did was too simple and boring.

Apparently while I had a check up Troy had shared his theory about me being a work magnet, so there were some groans from the guys placed in my group. God damn fence work again.

Man, I'm tired. I was tired even before Mr. Kerwin gave me the toughest weight pass ever. Fuck, I'm tired.

Day 6, Saturday

So the weekend schedule is different. There is still a morning work pass, basically only used by the local farmers. But the afternoon is free both on Saturdays and Sundays. Conditions and terms applies, apparently. Since I haven't done any cleaning or dishes all week (how could I?), I'm assigned washing clothes, sheets etc. Man, how much better it is to carry laundry than hay. Best job assignment all week. Lots of downtime. Only real drawback is all the humidity. It’s steamy AF here.

Still fucking 3h workout pass in the morning and evening. The other boys were pretty vocal in mocking me on my way to the gym.

Day 7, Sunday

So the day started out as any other so far. Woke up sore. Breakfast alone and 3 hour gym session. There are no work passes outside LARC on Sundays, so I was hit with cleaning, together with Kyle G. and Rick. Rick ghosted after like three minutes, but KG did a solid work. It took us all the time til lunch though to finish it.

Then my first free couple of hours all week. It’s insane. The other guys were low key avoiding me, so I did what Mr. Kerwin had suggested and had a walk in the forest. It was actually kind of nice, and for some weird reason I didn’t feel like sitting still.

Day 8, Monday

Same shit again. Mr. Kerwin gave me a shot in the arm this evening. Apparently I’ll have one each Monday from now on. Whatever.

Also I found out today that the others don’t have formal lights out. I’m on my own floor so they can lock me up and cut the power. What the fuck?

Day 9, Tuesday

That fucker Rick slacked off again, taunting me about another two days. Ha! I got 10. Mostly for kicking him in the teeth. They locked me in my room, so I had lunch there and sat in this boring ass cell during class and work. Fuck, I don’t know what’s worse. I had to do some body weight exercises to keep sane. Fuck this shit.

Back again. I still got to have my evening workout. Kerwin was pushing harder than ever. The order of exercises was different too. Apparently to make the major muscles tired so smaller muscle groups then get to work. Or something. I don’t give a shit.

Day 11, Thursday

They fucking work now, don’t they the little shits. They know I ruined someones career to get here and another one for slacking off. They better pull there weight

Day 14, Sunday

I think I’ll stick to just write on Sundays. There is only half an hour from evening gym to lights out, so there isn’t much time for writing. I’ve even skipped shower a few times. It’s not like it matters when you start every fucking day getting soaked with cardio. Not like there are any girls around to impress either. Sunday has a different vibe tho. Cleaning, running in the forest and taking a long shower.

Starts and ends with fucking gym time though.

Day 21, Sunday

I really fucking like the forest runs. Its like you don’t have to think and can just run wherever and grab whatever and smash whatever. Fucking love it

Day 28, Sunday

Yay! A full fucking month!

It’s crazy though how much stronger I’m. I have gone up one size larger track suite and 2 sizes larger sneakers. Working hard to make me the best I guess.

Day 42, Sunday

guess i forgot about writing last week. i think the monday shots make me angry or something because last week fucked up someone else on tuesday. at least they all give me fucking respect at least.

Day 92, Monday

i dont give a shit abot reeds borin ass lessons and they fuckin repeat on a loop or some shit. today he was back on gramr and the states. i most time dont fill out his shit but wanted to do it again today. fucking aced most of the states. not so good on the capitols tho

Day 203, Sunday

only 2 weeks left tomorrow lol then im gonna yeet the fuck outta here !!!! adios motherfuckas

Mr. Kerwin enters the room, carrying a folder, and walks behind his desk, not even looking at me. I am sitting in his precious fucking antique chair I pulled from the corner. He’s sitting his ass down, rifles through the papers in the folder and starts to read from one of them.

“John Hamlin agrees to 180 days of rehabilitation training at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center, where he will participate in all scheduled exercises, activities, therapies, meals and medication programs, with a possible extension of 30 days for noncompliance and a possible extension of 60 days for infractions as described by the Juvenile Rehabilitation Act (JuRA), section 1103 (b).”

He looks up at me. It sounded like easy shit when I said yes to it. I thought half a year in a bad boy summer camp, or worst case something like prison, but that would have been miles better than this fucking non-stop hard labor shit. And 180 days was a fucking joke. They never fucking intended that to be the actual time. Have someone else slack off and the slap another 2 days to the time. Kick a chair to pieces, 5 days. Punch a guy for being a cunt, 10 days. I’m close to having another fucking outburst again. It must be all that fucking shit they put in the food or shakes or whatever. I fight it. I don’t want to show any emotion in front of him. I don’t think he buys my shit.

“There is another document in the agreement that you haven’t heard. This one between Mark and judge Andrews.”

He pulls out another paper from the folder and read it.

“The state hereby directs Mark Samberg, or person(s) by him so designated, to design and oversee the rehabilitation program of John Hamlin to be administrated at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center. This includes physical exercises, physical therapy, education, consoling, dietary plan and medication, as long as it fulfills the positive development criteria (Appendix D), is within the available services at the Lepinski Adolescence Reformation Center (Appendix A) and within the given budget (Appendix C). Additional services require external financing and approval from the Reformation Center management (Appendix B).”

That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Why the hell had the judge put Mark in charge of my schedule? I understand why he’d want to make the experience suck as much as fucking possible for me, by why had everyone agreed to it? Kerwin looks at me as if he can read an open book.

“You are wondering what has happened to you. What was the meaning of all this? Stand up.”

I jump to my feet. There are still weeks he can add to my time here, and I don’t want to give him any fucking reason to add some shit.

“Stand with your feet as close together as you can.”

He’s never asked me to do that before. I can easily tap me feet together, but I can’t really stand still with my feet right next to each other for long. What the fuck is this bullshit? My thighs are too massive for that.

“Sit down again.”

He leans back and watches me with a bemused smirk.

“Imagine that you’d been away from swimming half a year. Even if you kept in shape it would take you months to be back in good enough technique to clear the swim team tryouts. But you have not kept in shape, have you? You have a completely new shape.”

The blood is draining from my face. I understand where this is going.

“With your upper body build you can physically really only do butterfly strokes properly, but if you can’t bring your feet together the leg kick will just be a wild thrashing of water. You swimming medley would be a hilarious joke. We haven’t even talked about you almost doubling in weight, and how much more oxygen you would need to swim. Sure, you are much stronger now, but old you would swim circles around new you. And that is of course the point. If Mark couldn’t have his sports career, he didn’t want you to have yours either. And the judge agreed.”

I’m surprised that the chair doesn’t break, as hard as I’m squeezing it. I’m boiling with fucking rage. I have to really focus to not to act on it.

“Now the judge specifically set out that this transformation couldn’t be punishment in itself, but rather that you were trained in a way that just wasn’t optimal for swimming. We may have gone a bit overboard with the body building to leave you many options though. You’ll obviously never be competitive in anything with speed or agility, like football or boxing. The metabolic conditioning, hormone treatment and gene therapy have far to long lasting effects to change you back from where you are now. You could try wrestling or weight lifting though, unless you mind showing your erection through spandex.”

“What the fuck?”, I said, as much as a general question to all the things he’d said. What does metabolic conditioning mean? Gene therapy? Erections?

“The medical regimen that Marks family found for you kind of put the feet on both the gas and the break at the same time. It forces the body to grow a lot at the same time as we try to stop it, so it has to try even harder. By injecting stem cells with the right CRISPR-modified DNA we could get rapid, major and long lasting changes. Well, I say we, but all I did was to make sure you kept to the exercise regimen, for a little cash on the side… Surely you didn’t think you got larger feet and dick from eating much and working hard?”

I don’t understand exactly what they done to me, but the result is pretty fucking clear. There was no way I would swim competitively ever again, if I could even fucking swim at all now. I would come out of here looking like a fucking balloon animal muscle jock, and shedding the muscles back to where I were would take shitloads of years.

“The hormone treatment finished two weeks ago and last blood sample shows that your natural hormone levels will keep you muscled and pumped probably well into your forties. So this morning I also cut you off from all suppressive medication as well. That is going to spike your hormone levels and mess quite a bit with you, so we need to see just how badly fucked up you are before we can release you.”

“The good doctor say that you’ll be more irritable and have more excess energy than before. Both something you can work on with regular, hard exercise. But I want to see where you really are at now, so starting today you’ll have no required gym time and labor passes. You can wake up when you want, eat what you want and do what you want.”

“You said erections?”, I asked.

“Yeah, the suppression medication should have kept you limp. You haven’t jacked off while here, have you? Well, you heard what I said about gas and break and compensation. Your body has been pumping massive amounts of hormones into your blood, and will continue to do so. But now that you don’t have the suppressives anymore you should expect to be horny for the next decade or two. You’ll be nothing but a lumbering muscle dildo.”

There’s a crack somewhere inside the wood of the armrest. Fucking fourteen more days, I have to remind myself. Don’t fuck any shit up before then. If I let go of the chair I’m quite positive I will knock him the fuck out. Fourteen fucking more shit days.

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