#all of the main cast members are messy bastards and I LOVE them

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Sarazanmai Episode 4: “I Want To Connect, But You’re So Far Away”

Or maybe I should say, ‘I Want To Connect, But You’re Soba Away”? :V

There’s a whole lot going on in this episode, but above all else I’m gonna have the scene with Mabu saying ‘that’s yesterday’s noodle’ stuck in my head for the next while.

tfw you’re yesterday’s noodle u_u

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

In this episode of Sarazanmai, we learn that on being a teenage drug dealer, Toi has also literally murdered a dude before. Which actually isn’t all that surprising, considering that we’ve already seen him waterboarding a dude with his brother before.

It sure does say a lot about this show that you can say that the reveal of one of the main characters having shot someone when he was a child is almost underwhelming because you’ve already seen him torture a dude, lmao.

I did really like how all of the flashback sequences were handled in this episode, though, especially the secret leaking sequence. This episode in particular makes me feel like I’m missing out because I haven’t watched Penguindrum yet, since everyone says that Nobuyuki Takeuchi [the episode director for this episode and one of the head directors on this show as a whole] was responsible for the best episode of it. But I know him mostly for his work on the first season of Bakemonogatari, and at the very least I can say that you can REALLY tell he worked on that show as well. Especially with all the shots of urban environments and cityscapes and whatnot.

The only thing that really felt weird about the flashbacks was how it felt like Kouki Uchiyama barely tried to change his voice even when he was voicing Toi as a little kid, so that immediately sounded kinda weird and jarring. But other than that it was all great.

You could piece together the gist of Toi and Chikai’s relationship from what we’d already seen of them, but it was nice to get a deep dive into exactly what’s going on. So basically Chikai got involved in gang stuff, stole money from another gangster to pay off his family’s debts, which lead to Toi shooting that dude, and now Toi is trying to become part of the criminal underworld so that he can stay near his brother, even while Chikai is clearly trying to push him away so he can live a normal life.

We’ve technically already heard it from the first PVs ages ago, but Toi’s whole monologue about how anything and everything can disappear and be forgotten is even more interesting now with the whole context of how whenever each kappa zombie gets defeated, they very literally get erased from existence, and from the memories of people who knew them, and even from stuff like photos they were in.

And on the note of kappa zombies, this week’s one was another mostly unimportant background character who was a bit of a sexual deviant that got caught by Reo and Mabu and made into a kappa zombie. It at least continues the trend of the zombie of the week being some sort of a foil to the character being focused on, since this whole episode was about Toi’s history with his family’s soba shop, and the kappa zombie was someone who ran a different soba store, and who basically had a fetish for wanting to use his girlfriend’s bathwater to make a giant soba bowl for them to soak in. With how all of the zombies are silly and exaggerated versions of the sorts of desires that the main characters have, you can see how it relates to Toi wanting to protect his family’s soba shop and live with his brother.

Everyone keeps saying that episode six will be where things really get shaken up plot-wise, but I feel like the next episode might also be pretty interesting, going by what Reo and Mabu talked about with them wondering if they should change things up.

And on the topic of the next episode, I’m hoping that we actually get to see Kazuki’s whole ‘let’s literally kidnap Sara so I can take her place at the handshake meeting all so that I can keep up the weird ruse I have going on with Haruka’ mission play out. It sounds so incredibly bonkers that I just want to see how it goes.

It’s kinda funny that, considering what this episode was actually about for the most part, pretty much everything Kazuki does feels more strange and unsettling than anything Toi’s done. I think it’s mostly because Toi’s motives are spelled out very explicitly, and he doesn’t try and hide any of it, whereas Kazuki’s one big complicated mess of mysterious motivations and feelings. And even though Toi has fully committed to being a criminal, Kazuki is in this uncomfortably creepy grey area where he clearly doesn’t want to acknowledge that anything he’s doing is bad, but he’s also completely willing to happily tell Toi about how he wants him to help him kidnap Sara. He even had a whole map printed out to help illustrate the very specific plan he wants the two of them to go through with to make it happen, which includes Toi knocking Sara’s manager out and locking him somewhere where he won’t bother them. There’s just something distinctly creepy about the boundaries Kazuki crosses and the attitude he has about it, and I kinda love it.

While I’m thinking about it, I should also say that I’m starting to think that Kazuki is very intentionally using his Sara disguise to manipulate Toi. I think he’s already figured out that Toi has a bit of a crush on him, at least in his Sara outfit, and this episode really makes it seem like he’s exploiting that to his benefit. The part where he runs up and hugs Toi stands out in particular, since he didn’t really have any specific reason to be so pushy and suggestive about it. Before the episode came out and we just had the preview images, I thought it’d be the sort of scene where, for example, Kazuki is running from someone and ropes Toi into acting like his boyfriend or whatever, which would have explained the sudden hug and the hushed explanation of what he wants Toi to do, but nah. He just did that, entirely of his own volition, instead of just walking up to him and talking like a normal person. In general he seems to be having a lot of fun getting into the Sara persona when he’s alone with Toi, which I think is very telling in a lot of ways.

I really hope that some sort of a legit love triangle starts to develop here, if only because I think it’ll lead to a lot of juicy drama, and tbh it’d feel a bit weird if a lot of this stuff didn’t actually go anywhere.

And as yet another element of Kazuki being surprisingly hard to understand, we have the whole post-credits stinger scene of him giving his dish to Toi and finally revealing that he actually hates Haruka.

There’s a lot of ways this can go, so for the most part I’m just gonna wait and see, but I agree with basically everyone else that my initial guess is that it’s probably some sort of resentment toward Haruka because of the special attention and accommodations that have to be given to him because of his disability. Which would also make sense based on how apparently the light novel makes it a bit more clear that whatever happened to Haruka might have been a relatively recent accident, and so it might have been a much more disruptive and unexpected force in Kazuki’s life.

As a disabled person, this sort of topic always hits really close to home with me, in some really uncomfortable ways, so even though I’m excited to see where it goes, and I have faith that Ikuhara will handle it well, I’m still kinda apprehensive. It’s not like it’s an unrealistic or ‘bad’ topic to write about, but it just always makes me uncomfortable and self-conscious when stories have able-bodied characters that resent disabled people they know because of their special needs. The fact that Kazuki’s the cagey and neurotic one while Haruka is just a normal little kid who clearly wants to just have a normal relationship with his brother gives me hope that it hopefully shouldn’t at least devolve into straight-up ableism territory.

Either way, I’m excited to see where the next episode goes.

And on a side note, in a few weeks I’m probably going to be importing the ReoMabu prequel manga. I really want to get the light novel as well, but I think I’ll wait until I can at least order both volumes of it at the same time.

[lea-andres]

head empty only team chaotix brainrot hours

Shadow and Charmy are close friends, their dynamic is like Sonic and Tails, just a little less domestic.

Vector enjoys listening to music in his free time.

Espio changes colors everytime he sneezes when sick, much to his dismay.

They all live off of instant ramen.

Vector has given love letters, some that are messy poetry, to Vanilla without signing his name.

Charmy has a bad immune system.

Espio as one hidden poster in his room, and that's of some edgy band that both he and Shadow like. Shadow was the one that gave him it as a birthday gift.

Charmy, Tails, and Ray are all best friends. Flying yellow kids have to stay together after all.

Vector is this 👌 close to adopting all of the main cast.

Vector looked like he was when he first appeared in a Sonic game when the age of 20.

Espio is flexible to a unholy degree. He'll have his back upturned and hands on the floor and just. run towards you.

Charmy is scared shitless whenever he does this.

Cream is good friends with Charmy.

Vector is a good cook, but is even better at saving money.

Shadow is a unofficial part of Team Chaotix. The only thing stopping them is Team Dark, but even they are unofficial members so it evens out.

Vector has a childhood rival that's a hippopotamus. The rival is a bastard.

Less domestic, more chaotic. Shadow's a bad influence on the kid (not that he needed help being a little terror LOL)

Of course! Those headphones aren't for show! (Plus I like to think they're noise canceling as well, double functionality!)

YES LOL Poor Espio.

Sadly, yes. Instant ramen and box mac and cheese. Vector also will skip meals to ensure Charmy's fed when money's extra tight.

Aww, yes! What he doesn't know is Vanilla knows they're from him (he can't talk Espio into delivering them, so he tries to sneak them into her mailbox himself, but Vector is NOT stealthy LOL) and she's kept them all. 🥺

Poor kid. 😔

YES. Shadow and Espio being cringey edgelords together is 👌

Charmy pretty much befriends all the kids, LOL. Charmy's just a little social, friendly guy.

YES. Vector would snap all the stray kids if he could. 🥺

Oh, I like that! Vector used to be a scrawny guy. The question is: Why'd he beef up later? Taking over what Mighty used to do? He just wanted to? 🤔

That's horrifying, I love it! 😂😂😂

Charmy just screams bloody murder and runs. 😂😂😂

Cream and Charmy were pretty much siblings the second they met, LOL. 😂

You assume better of Vector than I do. 😂

YES- Vector's the closest to adopting Team Dark specifically. 😂

OKAY I MIGHT TAKE THIS AND RUN WITH IT THAT'S SO FUNNY. BASTARD HIPPO RIVAL LOL. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! Do you have any further info you care to share about them, or is it just bastard hippo rival? 😂

@sonicsmeteor @seagull-scribbles You guys are obsessed with Team Chaotix too. Have some food!

[lamelinam]

Why do you love Shigure so much? lol no seriously, recount all the ways in which he is the best trash dad.

LOL

Not so much a trash dad than he is a trash lover.

The reason I love Shigure so much is because of all the ways that he is a bad person clash with all the ways he is a good person. The result makes a character absolutely fascinating to me.

Out of all the characters in Furuba, I think he is one of the most, if not the most, layered (and that’s saying something).

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Mr. Wisdom, trash dad

His wisdom and his knowledge of the human heart allows him to help people the best way he can. Cue his speeches to Kyo, Yuki and Tohru about dealing with anxiety, loneliness, etc.

He is devilishly clever. He knows people. He has an instinctive knowledge of what makes them tick and he doesn’t hesitate to use it. But he knows how to use his powers and insights into people’s psyche for good. See how he manipulated Hatori and Mayu to get together when he thought the time was right for both of them! Helping Hatori, advising the protagonists, getting Yuki out of the dark room... The man knows what he is doing, and he is voluntarily not very subtle about some of his schemes, so of course he annoys the others.

He is mysterious. The “ripple on the wave” analogy si perfect.

I love the amount of time needed in the story to discover what his goal is, and how much sense it gives the overall story retrospectively. And when you understand that he is. behind. almost. everything.The chess master who invites himself in the game Akito and Ren are playing and completely overtakes the board.

He is generous. I don’t think taking care of teenagers is his cup of tea, but he didn’t hesitate to get three problem children under his roof. He bought Tohru a bed and spoils her as much as he can! And gets everyone on vacation at the wood hut. He’s a good friend to Ayame and Hatori. When Akito got out of control and attacked Kana and Hatori, he rushed into the room to restrain the family head. (“Akito, listen to me!”)

He has a dream, and an unholy amount of patience, stubbornness and determination to see it succeed.  Jacob Chapamn says it the best in his review of the 2x3 episode.

“Fruits Basket has often encouraged us to see Shigure as lazy, but considering that he's been trying to make some mysteriously impossible dream come true since he was a child, maybe this shiftless stinker who spends half his day sleeping is more determined than we thought. It's possible that Shigure's just been "doing the laundry at his feet" in his own way, minimizing his stress and conserving his energy each day so he can gradually chip away at a monumental task.”

And yet, he also knows to trust in fate and the freedom of others (”Que sera, sera”), barely nudging them in the right direction. What’s not to love in this mix of laziness and ruthless will?

But the best thing is that you don’t know if he’s acting out of the goodness of his heart or because it ultimately serves his own objective to help everyone find happiness out of the bonds of the curse.

Why can’t it be both?

A magnificent, self-aware bastard with a ruthless streak

He is just that TYPE, you know. In the cast of Fruits Basket, he stands out like pepper among sweets.

He is patient, conniving, and manipulative, self-aware. He knows what he wants, and is willing to do what it takes to get it. A powerful combination.

He has many faces. There’s the goofy one. He resembles, in a way, the buffoon in classic theatre pieces, who is close to the king, and under cover of jesting is the only one allowed to speak the truth, by riddle or mockery, and get away with it.

There’s the wise persona, filled with good advice and help for his friends and his charges.

But there’s also the piercing gaze, and the malevolent face. There are no true villains in Furuba. Most are victims. Akito is a basket case of fear and rage. Even the old maid is only the embodiment of the institution that produced her. Both are sorely lacking in the department of introspection. Ren is a wailing, grieving wraith clinging to a ghost (In more ways than one does she represent what Akito could have become). Shigure, on the other hand, is the farthest away from being a victim, and the closest to being a villain. He is always in control of himself, and is the only one who knows how to tame his own feelings and his attitude to coldly assess a situation and respond to it. His betrayal of Akito were both in rage and calculation, in full knowledge of causes and consequences, with plans and counter-plans for them. He is the kind of character who never explodes but will play the long game to enact his revenge. That makes him very dangerous indeed, because he is not rainbows and sunshine.

Coldly, he moves the pieces and is willing to risk them. He deliberately endangered Rin when he told Akito of her and Haru’s dating, with the dire consequences we know. He tells Ren about the box, although he couldn’t foresee that Rin would also be the victim.

And when he gets angry, he is CRUEL!!

And I don’t mean the kind of teasing that makes his editor cry. (That is mostly played for laugh.) I mean the kind of cruelty that makes you hurt the people who hurt you. And among the self-sacrificing protagonists or deuteragonists, innocent teenagers afraid that they might be thinking too much about themselves... the meanness of his revenge against Akito is such... an acutely human response to being hurt and cheated on. NOT GOOD, not fine! In fact, a truly malign act that did not have any other purpose than to hurt. But, how can I say... this is what made him, for me, the most REAL of all the cast. All of the characters, layered as Takaya knows to make them, have both good and bad traits. Generally, for the protagonists, a lot of good with a little bit of bad. Shigure is the only one of the main characters whose depths of bad match the heights of his good. Which is one of the reasons I find him such a fantastic character!

He gets neither a core character development neither a comeuppance. Seriously, everyone goes on incredible heroes’ journeys, jumping from one epiphany to the next, moving reunions and relationships and realizations... and he’s the only one who is, funnily enough, “unchanging”. Although he does say that he’s learned to make some compromises... I’d rather Yuki, Kyo or Tohru had punched him once, as Hatori warned him.... Although someone does.

So why does he get so little development? That’s, in a way, because he already thoroughly knows himself. He’s a grown up, but his heart hasn’t changed from the moment he was six and had a beautiful dream.

He is probably the zodiac who has the most self-control, and also the strongest will. Remember that the curse forces the zodiac members to submit to Akito, or else feel a rending pain in their hearts if they go against her wishes or hurt her. Yet, he is the only one, the first one, who is in full rebellion against her. He is Prometheus, or Lucifer in their uprising against the divinity controlling their lives! He’s the only one who doesn’t need the curse to be lifted for his eyes to open to the true natures of the curse and Akito. He sees what is wrong and fake with those bonds, and how Akito is slowly self-destructing from it. Like Lucifer, he is chased from Heavens, and from the recesses of his new dwelling, he gathers allies and plots against his God.

His goal, ultimately, proves to be good, but he is the only character ready to dirty his hands and deal with the unsavoury aspects of slowly unravelling a whole isolation, controlling, abuse-inducing system and pull his loved one out of this mess. He will do what needs to be done, meaning he will manipulate everyone, create conflicts and confrontations, force the other characters’ development, even if it hurts them, even if it hurts the one he loves, no matter the collaterals. (I would argue in his defence that undoing a centuries-old curse that is supposed to represent abusive and unhealthy relationships couldn’t be done without heartbreaks and tears).

He is a character who is extremely clever. A good one at heart (his affection for Hatori and the spot of light that is Shiki Sohma are proof of that) but under his goofy exterior, his intelligence and manipulative streak would probably have made him a distant, cold person if he hadn’t had that dream and that goal early on as a child.

The love story (give it all to me!!!)

He is both Akito’s main antagonist and her love interest, and god, do I love Childhood sweethearts to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers trope.

I am a romantic. And as such, I’d die for any love story that has the characters be the sort who would die for each other. However (twist)... I’d die for the two people who would die for each other but are stuck in this unhealthy cycle of ripping each other apart. Yep, I like messy relationships, albeit with a happy ending. Simply put, I believe that no matter how much we might wish otherwise, passion by itself might not always be pure. Love is not always healthy. Jealousy, resentment, anger, lies, find a way to drip their poison into love. Which is why I am attracted to those stories that have the protagonists macerating in this messy hot pot of issues that they cooked for themselves, and yet somehow find their way out.

Akito and Shigure are older than our main characters. They are not pure (arguable with Akito, as Tohru will argue). The chaste kiss they shared as kids has long given way to more passionate ones and a physical relationship. Theirs is far from the innocence of teenage first love. They are adults with heavy baggage: they were in a relationship, they cheated on each other, they exacted revenge on each other, in the pettiest ways they could think. They verbally tear each other apart, Akito out of hot fury and hurt, Shigure out of coldly served revenge.

And because this is the only way he knows how to help her.

He wants to break the curse because he wants his bond with Akito to be recognized as real. Does he do that out of jealousy? Certainly, in the way that love is naturally jealous and selfish. It’s not as if he wants to isolate her and keep her for himself, except romantically. He’s more than happy she’s friend with Tohru & later Saki and Mine. And there isn’t any evidence that he wasn’t fine with Akito’s bond with the other zodiacs... until Akito slept with Kureno. Very probably, he was her only partner at the time, and he thought they would have a normal, meaning exclusive, romantic relationship. Akito thought differently (”I am free to treat the zodiac members as I see fit!”), and he realized their feelings for each other wasn’t enough to keep her for himself, again, romantically speaking. He realized everything that was wrong with the curse, and with a partner who thinks of herself as “God”. And now that I think about it, isn’t the curse a deconstruction of the harem trope? It shows the darkness and jealousy that would arose from a situation where someone is ”born to be loved by all” and is willing to test that privilege. No matter that it’s not love, but insecurity and pity that gathers them in bed.

At the time, Shigure didn’t know that Akito didn’t sleep with Kureno out of affection, but out of fear of being abandoned, just that she would choose a fake bond over a true one. At the time, he reacted as a spurned lover, and did the one thing he thought would hurt her as much as she hurt him. From this point onward, he viewed her as an antagonist. He left. He started playing against her an elaborate game of chess in the hope of destroying the fake love of the zodiacs. So she could fall back in his arms. Very selfish, yes, but also the best thing he could have done for her.

Remember when I wondered why it was that Shigure’s eyes were open before anyone to the true nature of the curse? Why he was the only one able to rebel against God? I think that’s because his feelings for Akito were stronger than those of the spirit of the Dog for God. His own love, his flawed, selfish and possessive, deeply human love, overwhelmed and crushed the submissive love of the Dog for God. He saw Akito as herself, and because of that, he is the only one who treated Akito as human, not as a divinity. While the others bowed their heads and accepted her abuse, in a way enabling her violence, he didn’t give her a free pass. I’m not saying that the way he did it was right, but his tit-for-tat way to show Akito that he wouldn’t take a hit like a good little pet, like Kureno or Hatori, was a way to reject the divine in Akito. He wanted to be her equal.

As such, him being a manipulating bastard, playing with everyone, carefully laying his pieces on the board, makes him a de facto God (I saw another post on Shigure as a God-like figure, but I don’t remember where). It’s his way of staring at Akito right in the eyes, saying, “I see you as you are. I won’t bow. I won’t leave.” Which makes him the only one who could be with her at the end.

And it is very subtle, but Shigure’s attitude towards Akito does change after Kureno’s phone call. Until then, there was something bitter and malicious in the way he taunted her (”Tohru is a much better person than you are.” , “One of us will be sorry in the end and it won’t be me.” , “It’s time you reaped out what you sowed.”)... Afterwards, the paper flower is like an offer of reconciliation. And, there’s chapter 101 of course, when their confrontation leads to the bodice tie-ripping. But from then on, even though he says quite clearly that he is not “kind”, that he won’t indulge her the way Kureno and Hatori do, he is kinder. The only thing is that he refuses to offer her is the same kind of indulgence that the zodiac members give her, the kind that either pities her or treats her as something above them. An unhealthy combination that allows her to get away with anything, even abuse. Shigure’s relationship with her is almost an inversion of courtly love. Instead of being her faithful servant, he challenges her world-view, in a way that Akito finds antagonistic. But he tries to stir her towards a better place.

That’s him trying to help her. But Akito doesn’t see it this way. Instead, she thinks he is cold and harsh, when he offers her something different, and true.

That’s when his wisdom comes into play. Self-aware as he is, he realizes that he is not equipped with the tools to heal her. That’s another of the reasons he left the main house and implicated other people. Only someone like Tohru, someone outside of the Zodiac curse, could offer her the reassurances she needed. Shigure wants Akito. But he wants to save her too, by helping her accept the truth that she rejects and Tohru struggles with.

Time passes and moves on, as do people and emotions, leaving you behind.

I used to say that it is lucky, very lucky indeed, that his inherently selfish end goal aligned itself with the greater good. But that’s forgetting that his goal was good in itself: Shigure didn’t just want Akito as a partner. He wanted her healed and whole, happy and free. That wasn’t compatible with the curse. And it served his peace of mind to have everyone else happy. Deep down, although he is the kind who dabbles in it when he’s hurt, he is not the kind of person who rejoices in cruelty and darkness, just another man, however flawed, reaching for a light that would shine for all.

So, why do I love Shigure Sohma? This master mind who planned the unravelling of the curse over years of plotting, who trusts in fate while giving it a nudge, who is behind the whole plot of Furuba? This unholy mix of charm, laziness and ruthless determination, generosity and patience, self-awareness, pettiness and guilt? The “trash dad" who, although he benefited from it, provided a roof to three fragile teenagers in need and helped them become stronger? This man cursed by human failings, drowning in sins, yet whose heart is still dreaming, still reaching toward the holiest ideal of love? This Luciferian figure who gently caught his fallen goddess and stood by her side to explore with her the beauty of truly living?

"The only thing worth writing is the human heart in conflict with itself."

William Faulkner

I love Shigure’s contradictions, his complexity, his depths, the contrast between the purity and the selfishness of his goal, the oscillations of his means between depravity and virtue, the fact that he did it all for love. Those reasons might not make him the best person, but they make him a very human and real character in my eyes. And frankly, that’s what I want in fiction.

[muthaz-rapapa]

They announced Precure 2021!!

Tropical Rouge! Precure. It will be a tropical/ocean theme and I believe it will have either a 4 team cures (pink, blue, yellow/orange and teal) or a duo with a red cure as a sixth ranger. What are your opinions/theories?

Oh shit, it is that time again, isn’t it? I totally forgot with how screwy year this year has been. ANN didn’t even mention anything. (@_@ ;;)

Well, anyways, since the trademark is out, speculation is all fair game until December or whenever we get the next messy quality leaks at the soonest.

Before that though, I just want to comment about the HealPre movie poster:

I really like the kimono design integrated into the magical girl outfit. Seriously, I wished they could’ve saved this idea for a full-cour season instead of using it as a movie-exclusive form. That would’ve been awesome~ && imagine the crazy hair but decorated with kanzashi. *sigh* <33 ...only in my dreams, I guess. T_T

Other than that, I am also psyched for the (random) return of the Yes 5 girls. I have no idea what they’re doing here but hey, the Maho girls saved the KiraPre movie for me with their cameos so I’m totally cool with Yes 5 dropping in all badass if HealPre’s movie ends up being just so-so.

Alright, now that that’s out of the way...

Precure 2021, otherwise known as

TROPICAL ROUGE! PRECURE

...admittedly, it’s not the weirdest title we’ve ever gotten but still, Toei at it again with its obsession over weird 3-4ish syllable salads. Ah, how I miss the times when we can just attach one simple word before “Pretty Cure” and that would’ve been enough. :P

Also, how the hell are we going to shorten this? TroPre? TropicPre? ToRuPre? PikaRuPre? Too long! Why must you make the little things so difficult, you bastards?!?! (ꐦ ಠ皿ಠ )

*cough*

Judging by the title, we’re probably all correct in guessing one of its motifs will concern the ocean and when most of us think “tropical” mixed in with Precure, the first image that pops up would be Aloha Precure:

[ Hey girls, how you doin’? ^^ ]

But for me? My first thought was this:

SHUT UP.

LET ME HAVE MY BEVERAGE-BASED MAGICAL ISLAND IDOL TRIO REALITY AND LET ME DIE HAPPY THERE!

I LOVE YOU TEA DRINKYUN, SODA DRINKYUN, JUICE DRINKYUN!!!!!

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

But in all seriousness, we’re likely not going to have these two as the protagonists because

1) They’re not Japanese or Japan-based.

2) They’re from a different Precure season altogether.

3) This is Toei we’re talking about. Looking at how one-shot Sunset and Wave were, do you really think they would go ahead on a tropics theme with any interest in anything outside just the aesthetics/marketing appeal of it? Uh, sadly, NO.

So sorry to dash your hopes if you had any but even if we are lucky enough to get a main Cure who is of Polynesian descent, we probably won’t be spending parts of the season actually exploring their ethnic background.

Though I’d still hold on to the possibility of Aloha Precure maybe getting a cameo. And more importantly, getting another dark-skinned Cure who isn’t just tan from staying out in the sun too long because I really, really, really want that, too! (>.<)

Ok, ok, back to motifs and themes.

So ocean. And there’s a seashell symbol in the logo so when we think of those things, we think of mermaids (and therefore, Cure Mermaid).

[...y’know, I’m starting to believe they’re just basing all the new seasons on the Go!Pri cast like StarPre for Twinkle. Heartcatch, however, pre-existed Flora so I don’t know where that stands but all that’s left would be Scarlet so I guess Precure 2022′s either going to take place in Hell or somewhere freezing like a mountain YES, WE’RE GONNA FIGHT ELSA! >:D or the north/south poles]

Chances of one of the Cures being a mermaid then? Maybe even the midseason one? Pretty damn high.

Chances of the magical items having something to do with pearls? Feels a little like Mermaid Melody but as long as they don’t throw any blatant idol tendencies in my face, I’m good.

Chances of TroPre (name pending) actually focusing on the nature of the ocean and taking time to explain in depth its sealife, ecosystems and the man-imposed problems that exist within it? *BIG SIGH*

Honestly, as much as I would love for Precure 2021 to branch out from what HealPre started with its health/environment approach (which was quite the disappointing cop-out but that’s a discussion for another place and time), I doubt we’re going to get that no thanks to the commercialization aspect of it.

And I don’t blame the writers (entirely), I blame their higher-ups who probably meddle with the story and demand for more cutesy, pointless fillers instead because y’know, toy sales first, unfortunately. :P

But ok, even if I don’t get the science side of it, that doesn’t mean it won’t be enjoyable. But with only just a logo to go off on atm, it’s hard to predict what we’re really in for next year.

Except for the fact that we can already tell how many starter Cures we’ll be getting.

[Sorry it took so long to get to this part, anon]

Pink is a no brainer, there can’t be a Precure season without a Pink lead (bah).

And look at how solid the azure/blue and teal/green is. Those are locked in for sure (HURRAH! ANOTHER GREEN CURE~! xD).

Now yellow...or is that orange? Personally, I think it’d be great if they dropped the Yellow Cure this year and gave it to the Pink Cure as a sub-color instead because unlike the blue and teal katakana, the pink/yellow/orange ombre of the bottom line is not as distinct from one another as the former are. But I doubt it because when you say “tropic” you think of “sun” too so can’t be without the yellow Cure, after all. Ugh.

Finally, there’s that striking red at the end of “Rouge” that looks like what would happen if an exclamation mark and a sea slug had a baby together and put an obnoxious bow on it. :S

With “rouge” in the title [sorry, not you Rin-chan but hey, Rin-chan~! :D], it seems we’re pretty much guaranteed a red Cure as well. I just hope she gets a more creative name than just a synonym of the color red because while “Cure Crimson” cue JoJo jokes I don’t understand sounds cool, it’s lazy.  (-_- ;;)

So in total, a maximum of 5 Cures. No, I will not be leaving room open for a possible 6th one cuz that is just one too many Cures and we don’t need that. WE. DON’T.

As for anon’s theory on a duo team with the Red Cure as the sixth (you actually meant third, right?) ranger...really, I’d much prefer a smaller team. I love the idea of starting the season with just a pair of Cures like the good old days. I love the idea of both of them having two theme colors (pink/yellow and blue/green) each instead of one. I’d look forward to a midseason Cure this time because the chemistry would actually be more manageable to work with and develop when it’s not such a huge crowd. So that the new girl doesn’t have to go through all her members like required shifts instead of having more organic interactions with them.

...but that’s just my hope. I know as much as the next person on what Precure 2021′s gonna be like which is pretty much “nothing at all”. *shrug*

We’ll see.

[darawonplease]

trauma. ch9 – wrong judgment.

Dara and Jiwon are ordered to spend more time together by YG sajang-nim himself. Jiwon finally learns the truth about that night.

chapter 9 - wrong judgment.

a.n. I feel bad making the characters go through such hardships and drama, I know you all want them to be happy (together or not). I initially thought of this series to have a k-drama tone to it, it might get frustrating, but I promise you I’ll try to be more light-handed and give more space for them to shine so that we can actually root for them.

[3 days before the script read-through]

「Dara's POV」

I took a sip from the cup of tea, maybe I was hoping to escape from Chae’s questions, truth was I was too embarrassed to explain the whole situation to her. How could I when I just couldn’t make sense out of it myself?

She lived at 500 thousand miles of distance from me, but her boiling rage could be felt through the cluster of pixels of our unstable videocall.

.

“Just explain it to me so that I can understand it right, he literally said you tricked him into going out? Is he out of his mind? What a lunatic bastard!”, Chae nervously pet Pudding In an attempt to calm her nerves but the poor cat didn’t seem to be interested in that sudden display of affection, eager to be left on the floor.

I left the reg mug on the countertop as I whined at my phone, “I don’t know Chaerin-ah~ He literally said I did all of ‘that’ just to go with him”,

“What does he mean by ‘that’ anyways? Did you ask for explanations?”.

“I meant to ask him but we were interrupted by his manager and despite that… I don’t dare to ask him anything at this point!”.

“Unnie, you shouldn’t receive accusation without defending yourself! As if you forced him to go out with you! The nerve to accuse you like that! I told you, men only give headaches!”.

“He really looked disappointed tho…”.

“Stop defending him, you should start defending your feelings, first that selfish idiot of ji, then that opportunistic actor and now this compulsive liar of Jiwon oppa? You seem to attract bad men only”, she concluded.

.

[…]

.

“I told you, I predicted Jiwon oppa’s love-life will be troublesome as he’s always surrounded by women! Better stay away from men like that*”. Narae commented as she checked the colorful design the nail tech was executing.

(* //On an old tv program, an 18y/o Narae, pretended to be a shaman and predicted Eun Jiwon to always be surrounded by women, making his love life messy and troublesome.)

I glanced at the selca we shot at the tent bar, I just couldn’t take my eyes off from his eye-smile and his slightly flushed cheeks. He usually carried around a brooding look, that’s why the cheeky smirk on his face felt so much unlike him. Perhaps, that’s how the real Jiwon looked. Well, how could I know anyway? I knew nothing of him.

It seemed as if I had told him everything of me and yet, I really knew nothing of him outside his career. Our relationship was one-sided from the very start.

(//refer to chapter 3)

.

“I preferred it when you didn’t even look my way”, I sighed.

For once, I thought I became mature when it came to love. For once I knew what was better for me, I knew I had to keep distances, admiring him from afar to avoid hurting myself, not to ruin the perfect image I had of him. Just like a majestic fire, I got too close and got burned.

I almost surrendered at the thought, “He must really hate me right now, doesn’t he? Was I a fool for believing there was something between the two of us?”.

Some part of me didn’t want to blame him although his scenario didn’t look any different from the disappointing ones I had experienced before. He seemed different, but then again, the other all seemed different when I first met them. “Stupid me! How come I fell for that again!”.

I finally understood that I had to give up all my feelings for him at once to protect my heart. I had to go back to admiring him as a junior. No fantasising, no assuming.

How I wished I could’ve avoided him just enough to heal my broken heart, yet he kept appearing in front of me.

Why was fate so cruel to me?

「End of  POV」

.

[…]

.

[The day after the script read-through]

.

“Come on Hyung, I promised the others you’d come”, Mino whined on the phone, working his best aegyo against an uninterested Jiwon on the other side of the line.

“Is Seungyoon-ie coming?”, he sighed before asking.

“I told you, all members are coming, we’re going to eat barbeque right after-…I’ll pay”.

Jiwon had planned a long session of World of Warcraft for the night, but his favorite junior’s insistencies and a good free meal were good enough for a change of plan.

“Send me the address”, he surrendered before closing the call.

.

.

Jiwon lazily sat beside Mino once arrived at the Karaoke place, immediately resting his tired body on the red cushions.

“Oh no”, the hoobae thought to himself at the sight of Jiwon’s eyelids slightly closing.

“Hyung, choose something to sing while we wait for Seungyoon-ie!”, Mino quickly shoved the music book on Jiwon’s lap, he perfectly knew that he’d be capable of sleeping right there and then and there was no way in hell all four members of Winner wanted to lift his dead-weight again out of the room.

“Hi guys!”, a female voice could be heard from behind his back.

“This can’t be it”, Jiwon cursed Mino with his eyes.

“Dara unnie! You finally came!”, Jinu exhorted as he made his way to go hug her.

“I’m going”, Jiwon immediately stood up only to be stopped by Hoon’s arm, “You just got here Hyung! Where are you going?”.

He silently sighed and sat down again,“Why didn’t you tell me she was coming too?”, Jiwon lightly slapped Mino’s arm with the back of his hand to catch his attention. He wasn’t ready to face her, not when he had such mixed feelings in her regards.

Mino tilted his head, “Eh? Why? Is anything wrong?”.

“No, nothing”, Jiwon’s expression was gloomier than ever.

He secretly threw a glance at her. She looked melancholic, no matter how much she tried to conceal it around Winner.

“Dara Nuna? Is everything ok? Why the pouty face?”, Jinu didn’t take long to actually notice, he wasn’t her cherished dongsaeng for no reason.

“Huh? Did YG sajang-nim scold you?”.

“N-no it’s nothing like that, I’m okay, I swear you guys! Come on let’s sing”.

Jiwon glanced at her for a second too long,  she sure sucked at concealing her true feelings.

.

[…]

.

[Jiwon’s solo mv shooting – DAY1]

.

“You clearly told me about your feelings the other day, since we’re professionals let’s just pretend it never happened and get it over with. I won’t bother you anymore so don’t get in my way either”.

The coldness in her tone took Jiwon by surprise, there was something different about her that day. It seemed as if he could see his own self reflected onto her. Cold, unreachable, stoic. Being on the receiving end sure felt hurtful.

How could such a phrase be told by her gentle cherry pink lips? The melancholic expression he had seen on her at the karaoke room completely vanished, replaced by an emotionless glance that somehow felt aggressive.  

“Sure”, he pierced her through with the same energy but that didn’t seem to faze her at all.

.

.

“CUT! That didn’t seem right, let’s do it again!”.

The stylist hurriedly fixed their hair before disappearing behind the film director.

“Ok, now get closer, slowly!”.

Jiwon cupped Dara’s cheek, shifting his weight on his right hand as he carefully descended into the velvety couch she was laying on. Their eyes met for a few seconds before Dara panicked, scattering her attention anywhere but on Jiwon.

.

“CUT!”, film director Kim yelled.

The managers looked at each other, concerned by the grim expression on Mr. Kim’s face.

“This is no good, why can’t I feel the chemistry between the two leads? When you interact, I feel uncomfortable too!”.

“I apologize, Director Kim! I’ll try harder!”, Dara quickly bowed with her head.

“Let’s switch to the individual shots, quicky!”.

.

[...]

.

Director Kim trapped the managers in an empty spot of the set.

“Dohyun-ssi, Wonjun-ssi, I’ve called you here because I think we made a mistake casting Miss Sandara for the female role, I thought Mr. Yang chose her because of their strong affinity but it just feels like they’re worse than enemies on screen! This won’t work, we need to recast someone else, I won’t put up with this again!”.

“Mr. Kim, I wish I could avoid putting you in an uncomfortable spot but… please look at this”, Dohyun raised his phone, showing the main Naver page, his gaze purposely avoiding the director’s.

“Sandara Park confirmed an appearance on Eun Jiwon’s solo M/V”

“Huh? This is not good, this is terrible! I need have a serious talk with Mr. Yang!”.

.

[…]

.

「Dara's POV」

I couldn’t believe YG Sajang-nim actually convoked me to the 7th floor with him.

I glimpsed at President Yang: the moment he adjusted his old gray cap right after crossing his legs I knew I would be nagged at.

.

“Dara-yah, I thought you were excited to finally work with Jiwon, then why did the director have to complain to me?”.  

“I’m sorry president, I’ll try my best”.

“What’s the problem? You don’t like each other? Why are you seated so far apart from one another?”.

.

maybe because he makes every cell in my body uncomfortable, but I can’t really say that aloud, can I?

.

We exchanged guilty looks and proceeded to silently scoot a bit towards the center of the long sofa that ran through the CEO’s office.

“The scenes looked fine to me though”. Jiwon interjected, scratching the back of his head as he leaned back onto the seat.

“Fine is not enough. If we want this promotion to work it’ll need to look like you two are very close, that’s why I decided to take action with your respective managers”.

.

Dohyun rarely had me wondering about his whereabouts, lately he had been fixing my schedule without informing me, that’s how he agreed to my appearance in Jiwon’s MV without my approval.

-

I nervously started fidgeting, “What do you mean by that President Yang?”.

“They’ll arrange you to participate on the same shows so that you’ll have the time to know one another, become comfortable and also make some public appearance, the shows will air right before and right after the release of Jiwon’s solo album, to increase the public’s interest”.

“I-is that really necessary Mr. President?”, he objected.

.

as if I wanted to spend any more time with you, Mr. Precious.

.

“It wouldn’t have been if you had worked harder on your affinity on screen, but you two left me no choice, It’s decided”.

.

And at that moment I realized, I was done for.

「End of POV」

.

[…]

.

[The day of Sechskies’ concert]

.

“Dara-yah! I didn’t know you came, why didn’t you tell me?”. Suwon immediately sprinted towards the disguised Sandara, the white mask covered her features well and yet- you could really tell her identity because of her unique timid demeanour.

“She’s here too? When will she stop appearing before my very eyes? This is becoming ridiculous”, Jiwon thought as he rolled his eyes away from her image reflected on the mirror right in front of him.

“Was she forced to come here too because the CEO asked us to spend more time together?”. Jiwon couldn’t help but quietly huff alone at the hair-styling station while all the other members and staff were busy smothering Sandara with attention.

“This is the first time I pre-order a ticket by myself, I wasn’t sure how it worked so I waited to tell you, in case the purchase didn’t go through”, she chuckled, slightly embarrassed at her own computer illiteracy.

.

“What? She did it by herself? No way”, Jiwon continued to silently judge her.

.

“Why haven’t you contacted me? The staff would’ve provided you with a VIP ticket for free”, Suwon pointed out after helping her carry a basket to the glass tabletop in the middle of the waiting room.

“It was difficult, but I really wanted to support Sechskies since it’s your last concert for the tour, and also- I’ve recently visited the Philippines, so I decided to bring you something to snack on!”.

.

“Does she ever stop smiling like that? Aren’t her cheeks sore?”, he unknowingly found himself scrutinizing her, all the attention was diverted onto her anyway, why bother ignoring her presence?

.

Dara readily informed the staff that the big basket of Filipino delicacies was there for them to enjoy and proceeded to distribute individual paper bags to each member.

“Here”, she extended her arms and offered one to Jiwon. He glared at her straight away, not averting his gaze for a second.

Her heart was about to jump out from her chest, “Why is he staring so intensely at me?”, she was not sure if that was meant to make her uneasy or was just his way of dealing with people.

“Here you go!”, she forced a smile and immediately dropped the bag in Jiwon’s hands.

.

“That’s very thoughtful of you Dara-yah, you’re the best!”, Jaeduck opened his own with anticipation, clearly moved by that simple considerate act.

Jaejin waved a yellow post-it he had just found and questioned: “Is this note supposed to be here?”.

“Oh- that! I figured a couple of encouraging words would be nice!”, she beamed warmly, making her eyes disappear in two cute half-moons.

Jiwon looked down and casually searched for the piece of paper in question amid the packets of chips and fruits, but failing to find it. His eyebrow twitched a little, why was he so bothered by it? Not that he should really care about a stupid note. But why did everyone receive one but him? Was she being petty out of revenge?

.

Suwon proceeded to attentively read his: “Mine says ‘Thank you for being such a good friend, you improved a lot Suwon-Oppa, fighting!’ ”

“Oh no- don’t read it out loud! It’s embarrassing-… I’ll get going then”.

“I’ll escort you”, Jiwon suddenly stood up and closely followed behind her with a couple of pink hair rollers still attached to his black hair.

.

An awkward silence wrapped the two of them as they silently walked beside one another through the venue hallways.

“You were the one who told me to get it over with. So why are you being so petty to act in such a childish way?”, he stopped in his tracks.

“Did you accompany me just to say this?”. Dara turned around to face him, glaring at him like she never did with anybody else before, “I’m tired of being accused like this, I’m going”, she turned her back on him without hesitation and crossed the door.

.

“That woman is unbelievable”, a growl left Jiwon’s mouth as he angrily stomped back towards the waiting room.

“Oh- look hyung, there’s a sticky note attached to your sole”, Jaeduck pointed out as soon as Jiwon sat down at the styling station.

He lifted his shoe only to find the yellow post-it he was searching for.

.

[Jiwon Oppa fighting! Congrats on your solo debut, enjoy the snacks!]

.

He sighed at the sight of those supporting words. Why did she have to be so kind for? Perhaps he had a hard time accepting she was more mature than him, in fact, it seemed like he was the only one who didn’t “get over it” between the two of them.

.

No, she was the cunning woman who manipulated his friend into helping her orchestrate that date.

“Was she?”, he shook his head. Of course, she was. And yet, this time Jiwon was the one at fault. He had just accused her of something she didn’t do. He felt apologetic, but how could you ask forgiveness for something so irreparable? As he said, some things are better left in pieces or you’ll get hurt fixing them.

Wasn’t that exactly what he was hoping for? That annoying woman would definitely stop bothering him. And yet, he couldn’t accept it.

.

“Come on hyung~ I know you’re trying to keep it a secret, but you’re so obvious, why would you accompany her otherwise?”, Jaeduck interrupted his reflection, playfully nudging his leader to make him spill the beans.

“Suwon-ah, we need to talk”, Jiwon grabbed his member’s arm and dragged him along towards the next room.

.

.

“YOU BASTARD TRAITOR!”. Jiwon’s voice was so powerful that it could be heard through the thick wall separating the two waiting rooms.

“Do you think they’re doing fine hyung?”. Jaeduck tilted his head at Jaejin, slightly concerned for their dear maknae.

“It’s fine as long as we’re not involved”, the rapper chuckled calmly while Jiwon’s voice got louder and louder.

.

“J-jiwon hyung, you’re ruining my stage clothes…”, a droplet of sweat dribbled down Suwon’s forehead as Jiwon didn’t seem to release the grip on his collar any sooner.                                                                                             .

“How could you help her and set me up for that stupid date?!”.

.

(//Poor Suwon-…)

.

“H-help her? What are you talking about hyung?”.

“Just admit it, you bastard! We’ve known each other for 23 years old but you sold me to her!”

“Wait- are you talking about Sandara?”.

“I see you’ve stopped playing dumb Suwon”.

“I just told her to let you loosen up a bit! Why are you so mad for hyung?”, he protected his face with his arms as his last resource, ready to get beaten by the leader, “It’s not even me who sent that message, it was Jaeduck hyung!”. He didn’t hesitate to throw his hyung under the bus.

Jiwon’s fist dangerously got nearer to the maknae’s face.

“N-no Hyung! You must be mistaken, I never helped her go out with you!”, Suwon’s voice cracked under pressure.

.

[after a throughout and embarrassing explanation of the events leading to the misunderstanding…]

.

“How could you even believe we set you up Hyung?”.

“It’s not my fault I kept seeing you huddled up with Sandara at all times”, Jiwon protested, not even looking at him.

“I wasn’t huddled u—wait, have you been spying on us?”.

“I-it’s not like I was spying on you! You two were always in my way!”, the leader complained, scoffing at Suwon’s assumptions although they were in part true.

“You’ve become so diffident throughout the years Hyung, you always feel the need to push everyone away”, Suwon leaned on the wall behind him, a sudden sense of calm and wiseness possessing him, “She’s different, isn’t she?”, he continued.

.

(//Suwon dropping truth bombs is everything we ever wanted)

.

“What are you even talking about…?”, Jiwon nervously rebutted.

“You usually straighten things out with women, you’re upfront If you’re uninterested in them. With her? You even came up with a reason to despise her because you can’t accept the fact you actually like her”.

“L-like her?”, Jiwon was suddenly reminded of how intrusively her face kept appearing in his thoughts, “W-what the fuck are you even talking about?”, a weak murmur came out of his mouths, he was almost embarrassed by how non-confidently he was denying it.

“I’m sure you’ve been acting strange around her because of this”.

Suwon wasn’t wrong, he had been unkind to her, whether in his mind or verbally when she didn’t deserve any of that.

“You sure don’t know Sandara very well, she’s a good and honest person, just be kind to her from now on hyung”, he sighed.

“I-…”.

“Jiwon, Suwon? You’re on stage in 5 minutes!”.

.

[…]

.

「Dara's POV」

I hurriedly got back to my seat, careful to put my disguise on not to be recognized by the fans. I was a yellowkie that day.

The huge led cubes turned fiery red were accompanied by a suspenseful beat that slowly grew, just like the anticipation of the audience.

A figure appeared at the center of the rising platform, hidden by a thick cloud of smoke. My heart skipped a beat, it seemed as if I was catapulted back into the 90s, I wasn’t Sandara Park the celebrity anymore, I felt like the sensible teenager who squirmed at Sechskies’ posters in her room in the Philippines again.

The crescendo stopped, the roaring of the crowd making itself heard. I held my breath for a second until the opening song started.

My place was among the crowd, cheering him from afar. Not on stage with him.

.

♪  I’m dizzy, I’m spinning I wanna close my eyes now I’m dizzy, I’m spinning I’m getting vertigo from thinking about you ♪

[Vertigo – SECHSKIES]

.

I jumped at the beat, waving the lightstick like crazy. If that was the energy I was consuming for the opening song, I wasn’t sure how could I survive the rest of the concert.

.

♪ Like the TV that’s turned off   We’ve ended   But I’m here   What am I waiting for? ♪

.

“We’ve ended, but I’m here. What am I waiting for…?”.

My pace slowed, why did I relate so much with the lyrics? I shook my head to get out all of those intruding thoughts. Why was my heart even acting up?

.

♪ I wanna run away but I’m at the same place every day   My head is about to break from thinking of you ♪

.

I wish there was a switch to turn it off. That wasn’t the right time to start thinking about him again, I just had to enjoy the show. I was there for SECHSKIES, not to feed my sadness over him.

I was left in awe, his energy was explosive. My eyes were naturally drawn to him, there was no point in denying his charisma. He was born to be a star.

.

How I wished I could stand on a stage again. Just wishful thinking. Seeing him perform with such infectious energy reminded me of why I wanted to become a singer in the first place.

Seeing Sechskies perform together made me feel hopeful; no matter how lost I felt. I secretly hoped I could find my own way only to go back to sing with 2NE1.

A small teardrop of joy fell from my eyes as I kept cheering on them.

.

[…]

.

“Dara-yah! Did you have fun?”, Jaeduck enthusiastically asked me as he held my hands.

“Lots of it! I felt like a teenager again~ ”.

Suwon wiped away the sweat on his neck and joined the conversation.

“You’re here! I still can’t believe you managed to make it to our last concert, thank you so much for the support”.

“We’re grabbing dinner with the staff, are you coming Dara-yah?”.

“I-…”, I looked at Jiwon from a distance and squirmed, “I’ll join you next time! I have a shooting tomorrow morning”. I dismissed myself and left after a round of farewells.

.

.

I stepped out of the elevator and caught a glimpse of my red car under the pouring rain. There it was my luck for that day. “If only I had grabbed my umbrella…”, I clutched the hoodie and pushed it onto my head, quickly accepting the idea I’d definitely get drenched wet. I sprinted towards the parking lot, careful to avoid all of the puddles in my way.

“Dara wait!”.

The sloshing sound of steps in the rain followed behind me as I slowly turned around towards the voice calling my name.

“Y-you…?”.

-

previous chapter.  ⋆  next chapter.  ⋆ masterlist.

[acitymadeofsong]

001 B7!!

Favorite Character:

My money’s on Blake. Well, half of it. I’ll put the other half on Avon.

Least Favorite Character:

I’d say Jarvik or something, but that feels like cheating.

Out of the main cast, I guess I’d have to go with Gan, just on a “somebody has to come in last place” basis. Or maybe Travis, who I’m just not that fannish about. I don’t truly dislike any of them as characters, not even Tarrant, who has a lot of elements I often dislike.

5 Favorite Ships

With Blake’s 7 I’m weirdly an OTPer and a shameless multishipper at the same time? B/A is the only ship I really ship as in love with each other, but then I also want to explore every possible combination of friends-with-benefits and enemies-with-benefits and messy one-sided feelings, and I’ll read stories for any pairing as long as they’re good. A few I like are:

A/C

D/So

J/C

A/Se

D/T

Sopron/Moondisc

Character I find most attractive:

...Avon, unfortunately.

Character I would marry:

Maybe Jenna and I could run off and be space pirates together.

Character I would be best friends with:

Vila Restal would be the best drinking buddy ever.

An unpopular opinion:

Liking Avon’s s2 hair best, apparently!

In all seriousness though, I don’t know if I’ve been in the fandom long enough yet to really know which opinions are unpopular. I get the impression from fic (mostly older fic) that I’m a lot nicer to Blake than many fans are, and my preferred interpretation is less dark/edgy. Also, I headcanon Avon as coming from the second most privileged background of anyone on the Liberator; I don’t agree with the fanon that gives him a Malfoyesque Alpha Élite(TM) family.

My canon OTP:

A/Se in a hatesex way, or with her as the devil on his shoulder.

Non-canon OTP:

B/A, 100%. I actively think the show makes less sense without it.

Most badass character:

Servalan for evil queen of the universe.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Limiting myself to popular pairings instead of, like, Egrorian/Jarvik, I have complicated feelings on A/V. I do get it-- I watched Gambit just like everyone else -- but I also think Vila Deserves Better. Avon is such a bastard to him, and tbf Avon is a bastard to everyone to varying degrees, but after Orbit I wanted to appoint myself founding member of the Vila Restal Protection Squad.  

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

There’s the issue with a lot of the women having strong introductions, but gradually ending up more and more relegated to Teleport Duty as time went on. Soolin never really got enough to do, imo. Poor Gan didn’t get enough either.

And every character in the Ben Steed episodes

Favourite friendship:

Avon and Cally’s, because they seem to genuinely care for each other (I love the “regret is a part of life, but keep it a small part” scene.) Avon and Vila before it all crashes and burns, because they’re hilarious together.  

[issela-santina]

now about that one superhero musical I saw with a fat female lead who got a happy ending (yes, SPOILERS)

CONTENT NOTE: This musical is bilingual (Tagalog/English) with a lot of bastardizations of other languages on the side. I'll have to do my best to explain everything in English just because it can reach farther.

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Body talk, fatphobia, in-story death, depictions of restraint, blades aimed at people, Chemical Q.

THE MUSICAL I'M TALKING ABOUT???

Kung Paano Ako Naging Leading Lady

EN: How I Became Leading Lady

Based on comics by Carlo Vergara (the same artist behind ZsaZsa Zaturnnah)

Directed by Issa Manalo Lopez (whom I heard from one of my profs that she fought Carlo Vergara just to have this production her way; whether that was real or not I have so much respect for her)

Production by Ateneo de Manila University's Blue Repertory

IMAGE 1: Title card for Kung Paano Ako Naging Leading Lady: The Musical, a musical production by the Ateneo Blue Repertory as it wrapped up its 25th anniversary celebration. Characters from left to right with visual cues: (1) Madre de Dios, fierce matriarch of superhero group Fuwerza Filipinas who wears white with gold trimming and wields a sword in her hand. (2) Leading Man, a jacked handsome male member of Fuwerza who wears white and blue and shows off his muscle with a happy smile on his face. (3) Mely Moran, the main protagonist, shown as a fat woman in her blue and white housekeeper uniform with a broom in hand. (4) Viva Moran, Mely's buxom sister who wears a hot pink tank top. (5) Senyor Blangko, scheming leader of Fuwerza's rival group Kayumanggilas who wears an off-white barong Tagalog.

I have been fangirling over this specific production ever since 2017 so brace yourselves.

So I would like to start by introducing you to the two leading ladies (the one of two tandems of leading ladies that I got to see) in this musical:

IMAGE 2: Cast members EJ Pepito and Kass Barnes in costume as sisters Mely and Viva.

I'm only ever able to gush about this one because what in the heck, this one was so good that I got to talk about it in a Panitikang Pilipino class. But not this much. So this was how it went if you want to know the story:

It all starts with two working class sisters, the hardworking Mely and the slacker Viva. Mely tries to find a better paying job when one time she runs into the super sextet Fuwerza Filipinas (FF), a team of supers comprised of mostly foreigners and one token local guy (Leading Man) who's super hot and super strong.

Incidentally FF are looking for a housekeeper since their lair seems to be super messy without anybody there to clean it up. Mely applies and gets the job, and begins to see that FF have a complicated relationship with each other as a team, especially when one of them takes a huge enough hit to have to stay behind.

Leading Man is that guy who needs a break. He opens up to Mely about where he came from and how he got powerful. Much to the envy of his fellow member Nena who's in love with him too.

Meanwhile Viva, who's urged to look for work on her own, runs into Kayumanggilas, a quartet of locals who set out to destroy FF and thus seek her help to infiltrate their headquarters. In contrast with the rifts at FF, Kayumanggilas are shady but strongly united. They're given powers by the mad genius Henyotic who went nuts creating Chemical Q.

IMAGE 3: Fuwerza Filipinas. From background to foreground and left to right, the members with corresponding color code along with the white in their uniforms are: (1) Leading Man, in blue, muscular and strong and powered by an alien ring. (2) Bazooka Man, in silver, essentially a cyborg with a bazooka in lieu of a right arm. (3) Madre de Dios, in gold, a heaven-sent angel wielding a sword. (4) Windang Woman, in red, aerokinetic. (5) Nena Babushka, in purple, the group's resident healer. (6) Popoy Pusakal, in orange and in front of Madre de Dios, think Chat Noir from Miraculous Ladybug but they're queer.

IMAGE 4: Kayumanggilas. Clockwise from top background, with visual cue: (1) Senyor Blangko, in white barong. Whatever mind powers the Chemical Q has given him, I can't remember for sure. (2) Marco Marakas, a prizefighter in a golden coat and boxing gloves. (3) Jeryc Sans Rival, in brown, essentially a stray dog that Henyotic's Chemical Q turned into a handsome guy who behaves like a ferocious beast. (4) Itak-Atak, the token woman in the group wearing a red tank top under a flannel top with the sleeves torn off and skilled with a machete. Or two.

In order to help Viva overpower Fuwerza Filipinas, Kayumanggilas get Henyotic to give her some of that Chemical Q, too. I kinda hope the next image set and their descriptions will tell you enough of how that turns out.

IMAGE 5.1: Viva, fueled by Chemical Q and now in a more colorful blue and purple and green outfit to go with it, overpowers Fuwerza Filipinas strongman Leading Man, all while Viva's sister Mely is forced to watch from the background.

IMAGE 5.2: The stage is in shadows and red lights. The fight begins between Kayumanggilas and the remaining Fuwerza Filipinas members. Leading Man lies unconscious on a bed.

IMAGE 5.3: Marco Marakas and Jeryc Sans Rival restrain a struggling Nena Babushka, ready to give her a killing blow.

IMAGE 5.4: Madre de Dios is devastated, mourning the loss of her entire team.

Madre de Dios disappears sadly after this. No one knows where she goes, or if she ever returns. Kayumanggilas are now on the loose, possibly planning to take over the metro, with no one standing in their way.

But wait . . . there's still hope.

Just before Leading Man was taken out, he gave Mely his power ring. Mely has literally no idea how to fight, nor does she know if that ring would be enough to overpower Kayumanggilas. But she tries her best.

Henyotic, meanwhile, realizes that Kayumanggilas have gotten out of hand, and now asks a similarly remorseful Viva to stop them, giving her the rest of all the Chemical Q that he's got.

So where do we end up?

IMAGE 6.1: Mely, in blue, is surrounded by Senyor Blangko, Jeryc Sans Rival, and Itak-Atak, the last one even aiming a machete at her heart. In spite of this, Mely raises her yellow gloved fist in the air with Leading Man's power ring on her finger.

IMAGE 6.2: A Chemical Q-addled Viva bursts into the scene, the stage lit in purple around her. She is carried around by a trio of masked performers.

IMAGE 6.3: After defeating the rest of Kayumanggilas, Viva strikes a blow against Senyor Blangko from the other side of the scene, with Mely and a revived Leading Man watching in the back.

SLAY, SISTER, SLAY.

Oh hey, Leading Man is still alive! But now without his superhero team, what does he do?

He retires from the job and begins life anew under his real name, Jacob, and finally makes his relationship with Mely official.

What about Viva? After recovering from all that Chemical Q wearing out on her, she seems to be doing well: Mely, knowing that between the two of them Viva is the better fighter, promptly gives Viva her boyfriend's power ring.

And a new superhero is born. The end.

Okay, here we go.

Like most of us, I'm so used to seeing a certain shape of people getting to be the heroes and we're probably tired of being just the sidekick or the comic relief, even though sometimes the tropes can collide.

I sadly never got to read the original comic or see other versions of the play except for pictures of them where Mely is usually chubby if not outright fat. The characterization isn't so tight when it comes to looks, hence there's no fat jokes to throw at Mely, or even Viva, since they could be anyone who can play the part. Both of them are the everyman kind of hero to begin with, after all.

Most of our superheroes, particularly those coming from comics, are pretty fit; even the everyman kind needs to have a bit of muscle just for the appeal. All genders alike. Every other body type that isn't "I work out all day" fit is just unremarkable at best, sometimes fragile damsels in distress, or sometimes the villain. And I don't know how often fat people are vilified in the comic book world but they're so vilified in real life that I'm even wary when people tell me to eat as much as I can and then tell me not to gain weight. Filipinos are especially guilty of fat-shaming and disguising it as being concerned about your health.

Hi, fat person who gets humiliated in real life by people who don't want you to exist. Hi, curvy buxom person that people sexualize and at the same time still label too fat. In 2017 this skinny person saw the likes of you as heroes and partners and protagonists with happy endings. You, as people worthy of trust and power and love. Even in crucial moments of not knowing what to do with all that.

I spoiled this musical because I got to know that this exists and people like you are can be main characters in it and you would have loved it.

All images from EJ Pepito and Ateneo Blue Repertory. All my love to everyone there who made #LeadingLadyBlueRep happen. Even if we fight about who wins in the next UAAP basketball tournament.

[hawkland]

for the in depth fandom questions: svu

@adarafaelbarbas also asked for my SVU thoughts, so here you both go! 

And it got long, so I’m putting it all behind cut….

Top 5 favourite characters: Top 2 are no surprise to anyone: John Munch & Fin Tutuola of course. After that? At the moment I’d probably have to say Casey Novak, George Huang, and Don Cragen. But that can vary a bit depending on which episodes/seasons I’ve been watching recently.

Other characters you like: Hmm, well, I’d say I “like” most of the regulars through the years, or else I wouldn’t be a fan in the first place, would I? If I had to pick say five more to round out my top 10, though, I’d probably go with Melinda Warner, Alex Cabot, Olivia Benson of the early seasons, Nick Amaro, and Rafael Barba. 

Least favourite characters:  Chester Lake, any of the ever-changing ADAs from seasons 10-12, Dale Stuckey (you bastard you killed O’Halloran!), Elliot Stabler from about season 6 onward, Olivia Benson from at least season 16 onward (though she started annoying me at times far before that, especially in her attitude toward Rollins and Amaro in Season 13).

Otps: Munch/Fin, of course, before any others! I also ship Cabenson pretty hard; it was probably my first ship when I was watching the show originally. 

Notps: Eeeeeh, I always sort of tread lightly around declaring NOTPs because there are a lot of ships I don’t particularly care for, but my reasons can be weird/personal and I don’t like stirring up wank talking about them or the reasons why. But I will say that I definitely never liked E/O as a romantic ship, only as friends. And I have a personal squick for shipping Fin with anyone but Munch because I just want them to be together (and yet I’ll ship Munch with pretty much anyone else, though maybe not as an endgame ship, so I’m kind of a hypocrite that way? IDK…) I didn’t care for Tuckson, and Barisi…I just honestly don’t really see it, and while I’ve tried reading it in fic I’ve rarely found a story that convinced me or felt in character to my mind.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Favourite friendships: Munch/Cragen, Fin/Amanda, Munch/Amaro, Munch/Benson, Bensler (early seasons before it all got fucked up)

Favourite family: I guess I’ll say Fin, because as messed-up as it may be, I do enjoy the episodes featuring Ken & I love the idea of Fin becoming a grandfather. I also really really want Ken & Alejandro to be together and be happy!

Favourite episodes: With so many seasons it’s hard to narrow it down to even a top 10. But some of the ones I will always rewatch when they’re on include Remorse, Nocturne, Legacy, Manhunt, Countdown, Denial, Careless, Painless, Haunted, Scavenger, Parts, Raw, Screwed, Alternate, Cold, Authority, Zebras, Anchor… ie, most of the very Fin and/or Munch-centric ones.

Favourite season/book/movie: Seasons 2 and 5 are my favorites—2 for the way the team really came together and so many of the cases/episodes featured ALL of the detectives working as a unit. 5 for some of the most interesting cases and the whole loss of Alex/introduction of Casey storyline.

Favourite quotes: Ah, so many but a few off the top of my head:

“If you don’t question authority, you lose your humanity.”

“I just know stuff.”

“That’s my Jew.”

“Once god gives you a uterus, then I’ll listen to your sermon.”

“Even a turd can float.”

Best musical moment: The final montage in Screwed set to Mark Isham’s “Sense of Touch”. The music is perfect and the ending of that episode always gets me emotional.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: How do I even narrow it down?!?! Munch and Fin sharing a motel room in Manhunt, maybe, and finally having a bit of a heart-to-heart. That or when Ken has dinner with John to introduce Alejandro because I still insist there is no possible heterosexual context to that scene whatsoever.

When it really disappointed you: Oh so so many times but, probably one of the biggest disappointments for me was last year, all the hype about “Munch returns” when he ended up having all of about 2 minutes screen time—and really didn’t get to have any good interactions with anyone other than Benson & Noah.

Saddest moment: Munch’s retirement. You know, I still cannot watch that episode in its entirety? I’m not ready for the emotional gut-punch.

Most well done character death: Mmm…I might go with Sonya Paxton on that, because it was emotional and sad and yet she also was able to at least, in her death, provide evidence to catch her (and others) killer. Unlike Sister Peg and O’Halloran’s deaths which just felt cheap and unnecessary…and I won’t even go into how I feel about how they killed Mike Dodds (that’s why @ladyzootie and I are working on a story to set THAT right!)

Favourite guest star: Robin Williams in Authority, though I also loved Jeremy Irons, especially in his second appearance in Totem. As much as I love Huang, I would have enjoyed seeing more of Dr. Jackson as well; Irons was perfect in that role and brought a lot to the show with his character.

Favourite cast member:  Don’t make me choose between the Belz and Ice-T! I love them both too much to pick a favorite.

Character you wish was still alive: Mike. Dodds.

One thing you hope really happens: That the show either brings on a new full-time detective for the unit or starts using more supporting characters again: show the detectives going to the morgue, working with TARU, working with a psychiatrist instead of having Benson diagnosing and doing everything herself. But, I’m not holding out great hope for that.

Most shocking twist: Shocking in a not-good way: Tuckson. Sorry, I never bought it, I don’t see all this so-called evidence that the writers were “setting it up” for seasons before it happened. Total WTF??!?! for me.

When did you start watching/reading?: I actually vividly remember watching the pilot episode when it first aired in 1999. I’ve pretty much followed it on and off since then, watching regularly at least on thru Season 9 or so and I think that’s about when I lost at least some of my interest. But that said, I was mostly a casual fan until about 2 years ago when I really fell hard into it in a “fannish” way, after rewatching old episodes in reruns.

Best animal/creature: THE MONKEY IN THE BASKETBALL

Favourite location: The original squad room.

Trope you wish they would stop using: SAINT BENSON IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN DO EVERYTHING IN THE SQUAD. ENOUGH ALREADY.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Errrr…hmm. These days I can’t think of anything it does better than other shows besides bore and/or annoy me, sorry. In the earlier seasons I’d say it was unique in the way it tackled messy, painful, and often controversial issues of sexuality and “sexually based offenses”. It wasn’t always perfectly PC but it did a good job of presenting complexity and showcasing how societal ideas were changing and being challenged—without just feeling like a soapbox.

Funniest moments: All of Wildlife is pretty hysterically bad but in an entertaining way. In fact Mr. Hawkland just saw it for the first time this weekend and was laughing hysterically at some of the lines in it. But also Countdown, for having such a dark plot, is one of my favorites for all of the great one-liners and funny scenes ( “I’m not tipping all of you”, Munch and the empty coffee can, etc.)

Couple you would like to see: Ha ha ha ha, well of course Munch & Fin, but I know that will never happen. And honestly, even if it did I wouldn’t want it to be acknowledged as canon until the very last episode. Because the writers would surely fuck it up otherwise the way they do every other romance on this show. Otherwise I do kind of like Rollisi, not in an OMG I LOVE THEM sort of way but I do see potential for chemistry, and that Carisi could be a good kind of stabilizing influence on her with her crazy family life. But, would she in turn be good for him? That I’m not so sure about.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: I would SO love to see more of Bayard Ellis. His character was great and such a good foil to Benson. I’d love to see Andre Braugher return to the role.

Favourite outfit: Any of Fin’s suits in season 2.

Favourite item: Fin having a picture of Spartacus and Maximus (Ice’s dogs) on his desk (which I never noticed until @sammael77 caught it!)

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: A few fan-produced t-shirts, magnets and other odds and ends, my MunchFin iPhone case, and seasons 1-15 on DVD

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: My “squad goals” would be the team from seasons 5-8: Munch, Fin, Benson, Stabler, Cragen, Novak, Warner, Huang. That’s my all-time favorite team. 

Most boring plotline: Anything involving the Stabler family.

Most laughably bad moment: “Redchannit”

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: Eh, I think the few times they’ve done as much haven’t been very good. I know I really disliked the way they repurposed season 1 footage for Manhattan Vigil to change what those scenes were initially about.

Most layered character: All right so it’s maybe my bias talking, but Munch! Especially because I “cheat” and include all of his Homicide characterization too. But honestly…Munch really is a lot more than a sarcastic conspiracy theorist. I think where I really love the complexities of his character coming through are his struggles with issues like suicide and assisted suicide, which came through not just in Painless but also Mercy. On one hand he’s such a strong personal choice advocate and on the other, he knows first-hand how difficult it is for family members when a loved one commits suicide. And what about protecting those who are not being given the choice to end their life or live?

But also, I love that he’s one of the few (main) characters the show ever allowed to remain childfree, yet he was also shown to be incredibly caring and good with children (illustrating that not all childfree people hate or are bad with kids; they just know they aren’t meant to raise one full-time.) He has complicated feelings about women, sometimes (especially early on) seeming incredibly bitter and cynical but deep down he is a lonely romantic. 

Most one dimensional character: Honestly, at this point, St. Benson the Holy Redeemer of All Rape Victims. 

Scariest moment: Hmmm…I’m having a hard time pinpointing this or narrowing it down to a single “scariest” scene. In general I get freaked out any time they show a serial killer’s “work den”, like in Manhunt or Signature. Because thinking about what those victims had to go through before being killed just makes me really feel sick to my stomach and horrified.

Grossest moment: Hyena vomit

Best looking male: Dammit, don’t make me pick between Munch or Fin because I can’t.

Best looking female: Casey Novak

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Of the current cast, only Fin, who just seems to be getting hotter with every passing year. Of all years, of course Munch, but I also crush on Casey and early season baby!butch Benson. 

Favourite cast moment: I think I’ll just say all of the episode Countdown, because to me that was ensemble perfection.

Favourite transportation: Eh, doesn’t really seem to apply here to this canon, does it?

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Still gonna go with the end of Screwed, because I love that final scene with Fin, Ken and Darius on the courtroom steps.

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: 

Hahahahahahahah so many so many….

Continuity/plot error: It still bugs the crap out of me (especially as a fic writer who is anal about canon facts) that in Season 2 they messed with Munch’s background from Homicide, and tried to make it sound like he grew up in New York. THAT IS WRONG WRONG WRONG. I’m not going to throw away the family/childhood details we got in Homicide just because the SVU writers were lazy. And it really pains me because it comes up in two of my otherwise favorite episodes (Legacy and Manhunt), so when I’m writing anything where that might come up I have to go through mental gymnastics to explain why he might lie. Or just ignore SVU’s “canon” on that

Unanswered question: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KEN & ALEJANDRO’S BABY? THAT POOR SURROGATE HAS BEEN PREGNANT FOREVER. Unless that’s just something they’ve completely forgotten about and we’re just to assume Fin is a grandfather now and never talks about it at work while everything and anything Olivia or Amanda does has to relate to them being mothers.

Best promo: Well, I really liked USA Network’s recent “Fin-a-thon” promo…especially for Ice talking about Fin & Munch.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book:  I’ve mentioned this before, but the funny moment when I went from being a casual viewer to developing my current obsession was in Spousal Privilege when Fin said to Amanda: “ I learned two things in my 15 years here at SVU. One: you can’t take this job home to you. Two: you can’t take anyone from this job home with you.” I hadn’t been watching regularly for a number of years so immediately I was like, “WAIT A MINUTE DID HE JUST ACKNOWLEDGE HAVING A THING WITH MUNCH?!” It’s weird the things that set my shippy brain off. Suddenly I wanted to catch up on everything I missed, and that made me then want to rewatch EVERY episode, and mild fannishness became a total obsession.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #1 & 2: "so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell" - Ahrre

So I'm so confused right now lol. Like I feel like discord should have a similar format to skype, but maybe I'm just dumb and cant figure it out. Also the only people I know/heard of are on the other tribe which is fun. Hopefully I can set myself up so my lack of understanding Discord doesn't make me look like a liability to the rest of my tribe.

we legit just got into our tribes.. missus sweyn.. LOL. i legit don't know ANYONE!! APART FROM MY BABY RYAN!! LIKE WHO ARE THESE PPL? liek i've heard of rhys and malik from like other orgs but the other people like god.. why can't I just have my circlejerk like in emvv. ): and idk WHO IS EVNE ON THE OTHER TRIBE WHICH MAKES IT WORSE I COUD HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF RLY STRONG PLAYERS who are gunna win every single immunity challenge.. and i ain't wantin to go premerge nnn. uhm. ya. thats my mood rn. Xo

Oh wow, hi it’s me, Mo. I’m going into this game with an advantage of not having a social life so I can be more active. I like my tribe so far everyone’s really nice. I only know Fabricio because he won the game I got PoTS on. But I think I’m going to withhold that information of him winning his last game because I kinda wanna be allies.

First impressions of my tribe, they’re pretty cute I guess I like people well enough but I’m always nervous about pre existing relationships people may have in other communities so that’ll be fun to manoeuvre around my plan is just to lay low be social and hopefully not stick out as a target

deadass the challenge has barely started and wes already has 2 images.. meanwhile his ass has prob spoke in the tribe chat like once and he aint comin in  my pms anytime soon so. LAMJHNFG . better hope his social game saves him over the physical x

this is my 3rd one already but this is important. linus is the first person to say haha to me. TWO! FUCKING! HA'S!!!!!! JUST SAY LOL!!!! SAY LMAO!!! IDGAF!! Omg this is geniunely my pet peeve and i wanna scream a a a a a  a a a a a  aa

Man, I'm back with Tobi from Survivor Ko Chang and that scares me to death. He claims he wants to start on a clean slate with me and work together again, but I don't trust him one bit and the first opportunity I have to take him out, I'm gonna do it, cuz I can't have somebody like him around. Bad for my game.

On the other hand of the spectrum, I know Michael from Zwooper and we've always had a good relationship so I think that's one person I can fully align with right out of the gate. I've also worked up some social connections with Dani, Jose and Ahrre so far, and they all seem pretty chill for the most part.

Right now, my focus is to win. I'm gonna go hard in this first immunity challenge and rack up as many points as I can. Losing the first challenge always sucks and I wanna make sure that doesn't happen for me again.

Okay im like mad excited to play this game. One Ive been kinda down, and this should help me be able to invest my time into something and potentially help me feel better.

Seeing this cast. I love it. I have really only worked with Felix in a past org before but we havent talked in ages. So I dont have any past connections which feels great because I hate people assuming were working together because were friends?. So this wont happen this season which is great.

So far my tribe is okay. Havent had a chance to speak alot to everyone yet. However the people I have done are alright. So far my favorite person is Scott or Scooty Toots. Hes British as well as me, he's 18 and we're both starting University without a clue what were doing. Like twins?!? So hopefully he feels the same way about me too.

Alliances are key. I want to make a few smaller ones to form a majority for me. Like two allainces of three. Giving me 4 allies. Not sure if this will happen soon or not, but its my goal to take control of this game, as Ive never done it before. I dont want to come across as controling however so smaller groups is the way to do it in my head.

Omfg y'all...... The game started like maybe 16 hours ago and I have barely spoken to most of my tribe bc I was a lil busy last night & had some damage control to handle in EMVV but like..... ??? I already found the idol in the Play Room CTFUUUU. We fucking stan. I immediately told my son Scooty because he's my bae.... I haven't had my hands on an idol in an org since like...... 703 San Marcos when I was voted out w it in my pocket (i think?? i cant remember any others so..) so BEST BELIEVE I'm going to use this correctly. THAT IS MY MAIN MISSION. I'm craving that satisfaction of a successful idol play...... I would love to cross that off my imaginary org goals list..... BUT WHEW I'M PUMPED.

I am making a pact with myself to not be an overly annoying gamebot this season because I just wanna have fun with it and make it a chaotic season, and this lil buddy is gonna allow me to be as extra and messy and turbulent as I please <3 big dick energy

Helloo so here I am doing this org thingy so you're stuck with my thoughts of regret until I die, or you could just not read them that's also an option.

Anyhow god save the queen blabla after more time that it should've taken me I get that I'm in one of two tribes of 9 which is kinda good because with snaller tribes I feel lime everything is more claustrophobic and shit hits the wall the moment we lose a challenge. But with 9 players imo I feel more relaxed.

So summary of who am I stuck with, there are a few who I know from before so let's start with that.

First off Jose, already played an org with him and we were good allies so my first instinct was to call him a bastard and hey he took it well so hopefully it will be a smooth sailing with that lad.

But after Jose I don't expect the meta to be kind to me.

Michael and Mo were both in my last org and I blindsided them both. Tbh they were good allies until that point so I'm more than willing to work with them in this game, hopefully they feel the same way.

But anyhow then there's Felix who I think I technically played with? We meet during a merge and he went out early without us ever talking much so really this is gonna be my first time really playing with him, he's the only one that I haven't talked to yet though I hope he gets online.

Then there's Tobi. I've heard of him and from the get go he strike me as a very straight shoot-y player. Those are always interesting to play with so let's see how that goes.

There's Dani, she seems nice and compared to Tobi she seems more social instead of strategy focused but then again it's been one day and I'm talking out of my ass.

Then there's jaylen who seems nice aswell even if I haven't talked much to him.

And finally David the absolute unit, and I say that bc he instantly started focusing on the challenge, which is a breath of fresh air plus he's Canadian so what's not to like thus far.

Talking about the challenge I get anxiety by just looking at it, scavenger hunts are always hard for me bc I live with people and I want them to remain thinking I am a normal member of society so I always need to be sneaky to do this crap, plus I don't have a car or anything so I have to use public transport if I need to go anywhere.

Apart from that well I would like to set up a 5 man majority alliance just to be safe, my only fear is the ever so feared overplaying-doom. But I feel like someone like tobi would jump on that idea pretty easily so I'll have a chat with him about that idea.

Oh and also look at me I remembered to guess for the idol TWO times in a row. I could die this very same week doesn't matter that's already an improvement on my usual gameplay.

Hi since I’m required to do these once an episode, I’ll use this one to talk about my tribe and maybe a few on the other tribe that I saw were on.

Guacamole - They seem fun. I talked with them last night, but our convo went short because we played jack box together. They seem nice though.

Linus - Mix feelings. I can get a completely loyal Linus here, or a cutthroat linus, so I’m kinda wary right now towards him but the vibes I’m getting I don’t think he’s going to be an issue, atleast for now.

Madison/Madisin - She was also at the jackbox last night and I enjoyed her, she was dying laughing at the games and I thought she was funny. So hopefully I get a chance to talk to her today.

Malik - Who? Let’s not talk about that bitch.

Rhys - He literally waits until we’re in a game to talk to me, so I peep it. And you could say I should reach out to him but it’s annoying when I have and he doesn’t do it until we’re in a game together. Boggles the mind. If I can overcome doing that, so can you. But I enjoy our current coversation as of the moment.

Ryan - We just played Mount Olympus together recently and that was a bust for us both. I’m kind of hoping we can be on the same side since it’s been a while since that’s happened. However, Ryan says he just wants to have fun so I don’t fault him if he does crazy things down the road!!

Scooter - I don’t know about him yet. We haven’t talked at all but he seems interesting. Maybe I can give a better opinion when we talk.

Steven - Very hilarious and I’m also intrigued by him. His thinking and way of talking during the jackbox had me DYING I loved it. I think he’s my new favorite new person here so far.

Wes - I only saw him once but we haven’t talked yet so idk what to say. He said he’s from ndims and is an alias of someone, I just don’t know if I know the alias since I was on that site also. But hopefully it could be someone who knows me as Orlando.

Now for the people I know on the other tribe:

Ahrre - I cant stand him too much after our last season of JPORG. He has this self righteous attitude to him and I don’t like it. However, I warmed up to him a bit during the movie times we had been present for awhile back so hopefully if we see each other again, I won’t have that opinion anymore.

Big Tuna aka Danielle - YASSS I love ha! I know her from the Skype minis and she’s amazing. I hope I finally get to play with her for once in a non mini game ❤️

Felix - Felix is a fucking wildcard. I love him, but he has really pissed me off in games in the past, and I’m hoping this one won’t be like those other ones.

Jaylen - A mess but a friend! He plays how he wants and doesn’t care what people thinks or tweaking it to better it but that’s Jaylen for you! Accept it or don’t phew.

Jose - He’s a fucking snake at times LOL but he’s lovely. I wouldn’t mind too much of being on a tribe with him.

That’s all from me for now so hope I stay around longer to see how this season goes!

so the tea is that this tribe is drier than an old lady's pussy and its so hard to talk to these people... there are no personalities... the only people i feel mildly happy talking to are ahhre and jose... and the tea is that both of them asked to be allies w me im like o ok sis lets do this so i have at least like 2 votes i know abt... and i know david from a prior org but thats not really a good thing bc i fucked him over hardcore and like... he knows im a snake LKJHDFSLK I really don't know how to maneuver strategically with this cast butttt ill try my best hehe

Oh wow!! I can't believe I haven't made a confessional yet what a shocker. BUT HI! I'm kind of just trying to get myself acquainted with everyone in the group, I'm not as active as I'd like to be :C but I'm trying my best teehee. On the first night or so Linus, Malik, Stephen, Madison and I played Jackbox games and it was SUPER LIT and We bonded over that and I'm v happy about thatttt. (ofc I already know madison and I already love her but I haven't talked to her in game yet aklsdjf) I just started talking with Scooty today, or Scooty? I might just call him Scooty, ANYWAY yeah we got to talk about how we type similarly and that was nice, we bonded over that and it was littY. I also got to talk to Rhys!! He also seems like a neat guy - I still haven't talked to him a lot but I think he's cool. I honestly don't know who else is on the tribe, Wes and Ryan right? Wes and I talked a little bit, but barely. and Ryan hasn't talked to me at all lmao. Hopefully right now I've made enough connections though. I'd like to make tribe swap so I can meet more people and make friends lololol - wish me luck gang!

I’m getting along with everyone really well so I know I won’t be the first fine at the very least so I just need to lay low laugh and Kiki with everyone and hopefully I can survive for the long term

I’m doing the Scavenger Hunt and knowing me I decided to wait till the last two hours to do everything I can. So now I have an hour and a half to film a bunch of videos

Okay so talking to my tribe Im begining to feel less at ease with them. Mostly because most of them hardly seem to talk. Which dosent bode well for me. Could mean im on the outs and they dont like me. Or that They're all inactive.

Madison seems like the easy boot right now just because like, who?!?. Shes not been around Ive messaged her once and she left me on read.

So Steven had to leave but we still have to do the challenge as if he was competing which PROBABLY means were going to tribal. So ive been working on getting an allaince going. Ive talked to Malik and Brought the Idea of us forming a trio with someone. Luckly he picked Linus because I talk to him aswell. So fingers crossed we can get that going.

I also have a great feeling from Scooty aka scott. So like Hopefully i can get another trio with him going aswell. So then I will be solid untiill a swap.

I do have a concern that Scott and Ryan are close and Malik and Linus are close. More so that I would be their second choice out of the trio if one is made. However thats not going to effect me I dont think this early. So fingers Crossed.

uhm so!! STEVEN QUIT which im rly sad for two reasons. one for him bc i know he wanted to do well and i hope hes doing ok and i geniunely wish the best for him and the other reason is selfish bc i literally.. planted my seeds on him already? like. all that work for nothin. and now we sitting here actin as if madison aint afk and aint gunna submit nothing..

like its the only reason ive done these dumb videos so that i wont be seen as the weak link if we ever lose again almdlddg.. but uhm hopefully my seeds that are in rhys/jones keep me safe bc if madison gets out here i have ryan/rhys/jones to keep me safe.. so im not gonna be that upset if we lose LOL esp bc ik linus/malik r gunna be scary af later on

hopefully we win tho? so i dont have to deal with this stress? i dont wanna relive louvre where i visitted every single premerge tribal except for 2.. even tho i did well hehe uhm. YAH WE’LL SEE :)

I'm kinda bummed that this last challenge wasn't immunity anymore because we smoked the other tribe, LOL. But at the same time, I'm glad cuz I wouldn't wanna lose the challenge after one of my tribe members quit, that'd just be sad as fuck, LOL.

Also, I feel a good rapport developing further between Danielle and I. I feel like her and I can dominate this game together, but I can't get too ahead of myself here. The first couple of rounds are meant to create social bonds and I feel like I've done a good job of that thus far. Only person I haven't talked to is Jaylen and I'm okay with that, cuz if we lose the immunity challenge, he's most likely the first one to go.

Okay, thankgoodness that the challenge was changed to reward last minuet. Because we wouldve gone to tribal.  Maddison is legit missing. I dont even care if we win or loose this next challenge because she needs to go.

So firstly that reward was weird like woo thanks pretty crown but there’s nothing else so I’m thinking that someone else has the clue and my best bet would be jaylen bc he got the Crown Jewels the most important piece. Overall I’m very nervous for this battleship challenge because in my mind it’s mostly luck based so my fate is really out of my hands.

Well, not much honestly but I'm gonna write a confessional for round 1 and stuff so I don't get a strike

The game is going okay I'm trying not to be aggressive talking to people, but just letting people come to me and make conversation right now honestly I'm trying to play UTR since I think considering madison doesn't exist right now I think I'm able to do that TBH. Hopefully it all works out.

I volunteered to do the battleship challenge thing because I have no life and it looked like no one else was gonna volunteer.

I actually know Linus he played with me in Epic SBB in Hell, so that's nice to not be going in with no connections period.

Sorry this wasn't that long but it's something I guess

If we lose probably another confessional will be writen but right now there isn't much to report

I’m for sure feeling a little bit more nervous now because a lot of this challenge is about being organised and teamwork and we could barely have someone sit out so fingers crossed

Heyo so we won the challenge so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell but hey we've got bragging rights, which is pretty much it since unfortunately Steven was medevaced out of da game so even though the other tribe lost they didn't go to tribal.

A bit annoying knowing you did that for nothing but oh well the other tribe seems to be having a rough time by itself with steven quitting and someone (Madison I think) not submitting anything lol

And I say for nothing bc technically we won reward but it was one of those first come first serve things and I only got seved a jpg image so nothing fancy there...

But at least now the next challenge is something where 8 out of 9 people on the tribe don't have to do anything and you bet your ass after that first challenge I'm gonna be one of the 8. David the unit took it upon himself to carry us to victory so godspeed lad.

However this challenge is pretty luck based so I'm saying fuck that I'm not talking my chances.

Following last confessional I talked to tobi about making an alliance and he was onboard, he proposed to have Jose on it which is great since that was my idea anyways, plus I told dani and she was also on board, and to finish up the hipotetical majority of 5 she said he was cool with Michael.

I haven't talked to him yet and Jose hasn't been online but hopefully we should be fine.

Ngl would like to have an alliance with david and felix too, david bc he seems like a total lad with the challenges and Felix because he later told me he felt the most confortable with me.

But regardless hopefully we won't even have to go to tribal (and if we do at least there are other options for the vote)

For now I shall be the dumb cheerleader of the bunch for a game of battleship.

Ahhh, I feel so bad that I lost the challenge for my tribe. I feel like going into a challenge with the weight of the win or loss stacked against you is huge. But I did come REALLY close and my tribe seems to respect that I almost got us the win. I don't think I'll go anywhere tomorrow for tribal, but you never know.

Yesss we won immunity. I’m happy we could after Steven left. They made our challenge a reward for that and we lost but it’s fine because WE WON immunity phew. And it’s all thanks to Wes. So far to me, Madison is looking the easiest vote off right now because I haven’t talked to her and I haven’t seen her so that’s my view on it. The three I talk to the most on my tribe are Rhys, Linus and Scoots. Then Ryan and Guacamole. Then Wes and finally Madison. I hope this game doesn’t pull a JPORG Fitzroy Island, I don’t wanna be screwed over by a random ass tribe swap. But I basically dig my tribe and hope that I won’t be the first to go.

Whew we won?! What. I thought we were gonna fuckin loose. Noah fence Wes.

Sad tings though because Madison is probably going to strike out. Oh well.

Ya boi still hasn’t gone to tribal so stay mad.

It’s fucking gross having to go to tribal council and I can’t be dealing but I seem to have found myself in two alliances with only dani connecting the two so I’m gonna work with dani to ride this middle ground and make it further

I’m going home omfg. I can’t really have a deep convo with anyone, which means I don’t have an alliance even though I’m sure one has been made ugh. I’m gonna focus on surviving this round then seeing what I can get set up next round. Wish me luck whew

I’m pissed because it’s super obvious that the other 7 on my tribe are in a mega tight alliance. Steven was my only alliance in this hole game, and like, he even told me he found an idol and then on his way out he didn’t even slip me the idol??? Can’t wait to be voted out 7-1 because he wanted a souvenir.

So the tea is that ahrre and I made an alliance of 5 which includes him, me, Jose, Dani, and Michael which I think is cute but they are really boring so meh idk I’ll just flip during merge x JDJSJD I’m a messy bitch

ugh i'm so glad we won immunity bc our tribe is already severely lacking in strong members bc Steven left us out to perish and Madison aint shown her face yet... so the numbers getting back to even is great for us <3

Right so unfortunately we lost the battleship game so that means we're heading to the first tribal of the game, fun stuff.

Now as we lost I got the Me-michael-jose-dani-tobi alliance set up. Meanwhile Felix was telling me that for him it was between Jose or Jaylen, since they've been the least active. Understandable but more understandable is that I'm in an alliance with Jose so for me it seems like it's gonna be Jaylen, who I also haven't spoken much with so I don't mind, albeit every tribal we go to before swapping or merging I see it as a potential ally down the line going home, which shucks.

Either way the alliance (and everyone else for that matter) agreed on jaylen, I also told Jose in kind words to get his shit together before he gets sent home but that's pretty much it. I'm gonna try to lay down for now I don't want to bring any unwanted attention to myself.

Hopefully tribal goes well.

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo. Ok so currently the plan is to vote out Jaylen which I don’t have a problem with, it’s kinda sad because he is actually really nice but somewhat inactive. I’m on my way to get a burger and fries and I’m fucking ecstatic like I’m so fucking hungry it’s stupid. Also watch me get blindsided.

So we went into this chalenge on a high after wining the reward and I was the one who got the most points out of everyone :))). Although I’m nervous this will put a target on my back, I’m happy that I have kind of proven my dominance in this game! After losing the challenge, I’m upset!! This was all luck based which sucks! After that, I started talking more with Felix, David, Michael and Ahree. Within the span of like 30 minutes, I got added to 2 seperate groups. I was like “iiii” because this can get messy fast. Michael is in both of the groups as well so I don’t feel too bad because at least there is someone else in my position as well. I get along with Felix a lot and have had quite a few good convos with him! David seems to want to lead things in the group he made, which is whatever. Keeps the target off of me, especially if we go to tribal again. I expect to make more confessionals throughout the course of the game, usually videos but I’m pretty tired right now haha.

I just took a nap and there's no tribal and I'm always trying my best. My tribe doesn't hate me for some reason even though I sure would. Oh well. I really miss Steven I hope he's okay.

Steven quit half way through this episode. Then Jaylen was voted out 8-1.