#all y'all go wish el!

[boysbeloving]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EL!!!! @elnotwoods

here's some apo (in shorts....bless him🙏) for you! <333

and some bonus mileapo <33

[aces-and-angels]

artwork by raghad qanou follow: @rhq2744 verified ✔: no. 221 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's sheet

dear moots/lovely lurkers- please read 🖤

raghad has finally reached the very first milestone in her fundraiser! that's right gang, thanks to the continuous support of friends/strangers alike, raghad's family has raised a whopping ✨£5,095✨as promised, here is another beautiful original by miss raghad herself 🖤

for those who haven't gotten a chance to meet her yet, please allow raghad to introduce herself in her own words:

Hello everyone, I am Raghad Qanou, a second-year human medicine student at Al-Azhar University in Gaza, or rather, I was like that, before I lost everything, literally everything... Before the 7th of October, me and my family [8 members] were living in our cute house in the Shujaiya neighborhood in Gaza, after huge suffering to repair it and return to living in it after it was destroyed in the 2014 war on Gaza. My family and I were forced to leave our home and forcibly move under fire 7 times so far! All this to escape death and hold on to the last shred of hope for a decent life! excerpt from raghad's gfm campaign page (read full story here)

i first met raghad sometime in june after she messaged me here on tumblr. one of the first things she shared with me (besides her name lol) was this piece:

title: waiting for a ceasefire "only hope and art keep us alive here in gaza ...." -raghad qanou

since then, we've been able to chat a handful of times-- i told her how much i loved her artwork and she excitedly shared even more of her work with me

raghad is a talented artist- a loving sister- a diligent student- a wonderful daughter- and someone who deserves a chance to live a life worth living. her whole family does

they continue to suffer through horrific living conditions and rely on y'all to help carry their burden. to reveal yourself so vulnerably to the world is far from easy. so often, we are told to grit our teeth and push through whatever ails us in silence. but this is a type of pain that cannot and should not be felt alone. and it will take everyone to band together so we can begin to heal

raghad's campaign still has a long way to go. to help things move along, i am proposing another art reveal ✨

if we can get raghad to £15K- i will unveil another beautiful piece from her collection of artwork!

as of posting, raghad's family has raised £5,095 / £55,000.

for those able, please consider donating by clicking the link below + share this post so others may get the chance to help out too 🖤

tags for reach below cut (note: sorry gang, ik we're not really moots. if you're here- it's cause i pulled people from a post that promoted a gfm in the past. please let me know if you do not wish to be tagged in future posts. no hard feelings, truly 🖤)

@juneybug @kodigobacktosleep @apocalyptic-dancehall @imnotthepersonyouseek @toonirl 

@kingofthebookcase @kazehita @yonch @pinkdreamscape1 

@king-dail @caseys-soup-corner @shoogachi @killy @missusmousse 

@j0ckhead @whoopsiedaisy20 @squidie-tittie @dreamingamongthestars @trexpel 

@mischief16 @foulharbor @draginfyre16 @tangerinesteve @3amsnow 

@fruitpuddle @wallsong @selkiesmile @suzakus-canon-wife @turquoisewavesstitch

@loutrem @thatlethalsoul @visemes @orange-coloredsky @dweamdoodles

@just-a-girl-0001 @samrobotize @aunty-matter @gamelpar 

@roachie-paradise @queruloustea @ehjane @firebird963 @butchdykekondraki 

@dinofur @cthulhu-with-a-fez @purplenickel @ysngie @paper-mario-wiki

[shutuperce]

your fall 2023 byler reading list 🍂🍂

BIG BYLER FIC REC DUMP cause i haven't been writing a lot but i HAVE been reading and y'all need to read these! hope u enjoy as much as i did <3

got your spell on me, baby - @astrobei -Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 7,919

TW: none

'To be fair, Will’s costume is great, now that Mike knows what it is. And, okay, wait-

“Oh, this is so good. This is so good.” Max points at Mike, wheezing. “Because you’re dressed as-”

Will’s still looking straight up at the sky. The length of his neck is very, very flushed. Mike can feel his entire face going redder than Vader’s lightsaber. He clenches his hands into tiny little fists, and says, around a groan: “I’m not Han Solo, guys.”'

THE halloween byler fic. the party at college, bi lucas sinclair content, halloween party shenanigans.

these nerds, using star wars to flirt 🙄

background lumax & their amazing couples costume, el & will power sibling duo!!!

bowie references to heal the soul

all in all one of my favourite getting-together fics for this time of year :)

what a match: i'm half-doomed and you're semi-sweet - @perexcri - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 28,150

TW: guns, blood, gore (just demodogs though no human gore)

'One month ago, if you had asked Will Byers what he’d do if Mike Wheeler threaded his fingers through his hair, looked him dead in the eyes, and started leaning in for a kiss, he wouldn’t have said this.

He wouldn’t have said he’d be staring right back into those yawning dark eyes, one hand on Mike’s waist, the other against his cheek. There wouldn’t have been any lightning in his veins or blood rushing in his ears.

He wouldn’t have said that Mike Wheeler would be tilting his head in the opposite direction, eyes widening just the slightest as if asking permission, his mouth slightly parted.

He wouldn’t have imagined it at all.'

SO SO GOOD. apocalypse post s4, background jancy and platonic stobin, interruption trope x10000 so it's SO SATISFYING at the end.

WILL WITH A GUN.

jonathan & mike solidarity <3

all in all amazingly well written mike and will being blushing messes. love them. fluff in the apocalypse.

take my hand, wreck my plans - @parkitaco - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 6,297

TW: discussion of past trauma

'"I am not taken," he says out of habit, even though he kind of is. He and Will aren't together - he blushes at the thought - but they do spend an awful lot of time together, and Mike doesn't ever find himself wishing he was anywhere else. "Will and I are-"

"Ooh, I didn't even say anything about Will!" Max crows. "Oh, this is excellent."

Mike hides his face in his hands even though she can't see him. "Oh my God. Can you put Lucas back on, please?"

Max cackles in to the receiver, the sound fading as Lucas presumably wrenches the phone out of her grip. "We gotta go, Mike," he says, laughing a little. "Max has class and I'm driving her."

"Tell her she's the worst," Mike grumbles, fiddling with the phone cord.

"Say hi to Will for me!" Lucas sings, and hangs up before Mike can protest.

Mike groans and flops back on his mattress. It's going to be a long year.'

part of a series!! byler college au, friends-to-lovers, background party friendship, AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES. OH MY GOD, THEY WERE ROOMMATES??

taylor swift title... do u really need any other persuasion

the whole series is just AMAZING. mike & will getting a break, living together at college and figuring shit out <3

i might be hoping about this - @astrobei - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 15,321

TW: none

'Will lets out a small squawk as Mike’s hand— his very cold, very freezing hand— finds its way around the blankets and under his sweater. “I’m sick, you weirdo,” he says, half-laughing into the side of Mike’s head, “I have a fever.” 

“I don’t care,” Mike mumbles, “you’re warm and I’m cold. This is nice.”

“You’re going to get sick,” Will tries, for the umpteenth time, but it’s pointless. Mike Wheeler is stubborn and hardheaded and he never does anything halfway— not even this.'

established byler at college!! so yeah i have a love of college byler and this is one of my top fics for sure. 2nd astrobi fic on this list because i love their writing <3

will gets sick, mike takes care of him. need i say more?

silly goofy guys living together & doing silly goofy domestic shit

this fic makes me SOFT.

accidentally on purpose - @itsromeowrites - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 5,019

TW: none

'It starts out with a kiss. An accidental kiss. Because Mike is sleepy and Will is pretty, and who can really blame him? And then there's another one, just as accidental. But the third? Well, that may be a little more on purpose.'

literally smiling so hard at this fic. like hello. soft secret boyfriends and loads of party content, all the kids are okay <3

established byler, how the party finds out. all fluff all the time. jonathan attempts the Talk. mike has no idea what's going on. et cetera.

background lumax, lucas & dustin being lil shits together, and el using her powers to cheat at splashing games. all in all a good time!

and if I get burned, at least we were electrified - anonymous - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own]

Words: 14,958

TW: none

'“I’ll leave you be until lunch,” Max starts negotiating, nodding at him as if that’s a good deal. Which—considering it's Max, it is, but Mike doesn’t want to give in just yet. She sighs. “I won’t laugh about the sweater anymore. Or the weak disposition that gives you stupid allergies all the time.”

Mike’s frown deepens, but she wasn’t as mean as she could have been, so he’s gonna take it. He needs to get this out anyways, or he’s going to keep running in circles as if stuck in a hamster wheeler—an accurate representation of his brain when it comes to Will, really. He presses his lips together and tries to figure out a subtle, non-funny way to say it, but he comes up blank.

Fuck, whatever: “I almost kissed Will. Again.”

Max actually has to cover her mouth with her hand, disguising a worryingly loud snort with a cough. The teacher turns their way and stares, then goes back to explaining the exercise on the board. Mike scribbles it down while Max gets herself under control.

Screw his life.'

senior year, post-vecna. the party being friends but also little shits to each other.

madwheeler bandmates!!!

will steals mike's entire closet

they are Dumb Idiots who are mutually pining from afar

and other lovable tropes. takes place in november so good fall vibes :)

[chappellroansdreamgirl]

good luck, babe! [e.w x fem!reader.]

chapter one.

author's note!<3 - this is inspired by chappell roan's unreleased song good luck, babe! i lllloooovveee chappell roan! this was originally going to be just a LONG ASS one-shot but i don't think i can write any more tonight 😭😭 . BUT I REALLY WANNA PUBLISH IT SO HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!! also forgive me if there's any grammar/spelling errors... i'm posting this at 12:59 am🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 . reblogs and comments are SO appreciated!!! i busted my ass for y'all 🤗 .

content warnings - SLIGHT angst, reader has internalized homophobia and is outright homophobic to ellie, reader is in the closet, ellie is a lovergirl and she's going through the five stages of grief, modern!au, reader gets sexually assaulted/harrassed, LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

special thanks to!!!!: @sharkfemme and @dykedearest FOR HELPING ME OUT!!!!!! and also LYNN AND MAXIM!!! ALL FOUR OF YOU ARE AMAZING BETA READERS I'M KISSING YOU ALL THROUGH THE PHONE RN!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

it's fine, it's cool.

ellie's grip on her glass got impossibly tighter as her eyes never left your figure, your body swaying to whatever shitty mainstream pop music that was playing.

ellie williams hated secrets. she hated surprises, and she hated being in love with you.

she hated the way you would ghost her after spending a week at her apartment. she hated the way you would stop responding to her texts after you would leave. she hated the way she would let you back in when you needed her, she hated how much she loved to comfort you. she hated how gentle you were when it was just the two of you, compared to how cruel you got in public.

you can say that we ain't nothin' when you know the truth.

ellie took her hand off the glass and gripped the bar table instead, afraid that if she broke another glass she'd be banned from the bar.

you were like forbidden fruit to her, or maybe that was what she was to you.

she knew you weren't ready to come out of the closet. she understood that. so, why keep on playing this fucking game with her?

why did she even still feed into it?

i guess i'm, the fool.

the closet was made out of glass, really. you would stare at every woman's body that passed you, your eyes would scan up their short dress, she could see the curiosity and desire in your face.

but every single time after you two would hook up, there was always a new excuse.

"i'm not a fucking lesbian, ellie. i just... don't like men sometimes." sometimes?

"they're just stupid thoughts... it's not like i could ever be with a woman." but you had been. you had been with her.

"ok but... do you even count as a woman? you wear boxers, you don't even know the meaning of the term ladylike and... i don't know- look at your fuckin' hair! the closest you'd get is a transwoman." that one had hurt her. she didn't talk to you for a month after you made that comment. and then you appeared in her apartment complex hallway, sobbing hysterically.

and of course, she took you back.

like she always does.

with her arms out like an angel, through the car sun-roof.

she hated playing this fucking game with you. it was killing her.

every single time she'd see you at this bar, she imagined you dragging her onto the dancefloor. she imagined being able to walk out with your hand in her's, waking up to your groggy groans when the sun invaded the sacred space of your shared bedroom, you'd hide your face in her neck, mumbling something about, "shouldn't have drank that much last night."

every single time you pulled this shit on her, it felt like her already shattered heart broke off into impossibly tinier pieces.

"i wish you were a boy." crack.

"it's not easy for me like it is for you, els. i don't know the first thing about being proud of myself." crack.

"this hurts me more than you, baby." shattered. her heart was shattered.

it hurts you more than her?

the fucking audacity.

the nights she spent crying next to your sleeping figure.

the hours she'd spent texting you and checking her phone second after second after goddamn second.

the way she would ignore every single obligation she had to pick you up from whatever shit-hole situation you had found yourself in, immediately and happily dropping anything to make sure you were ok.

and it hurt you more than it hurt her?

you didn't know shit about hurt. about misery. about love.

i don't wanna cut it off!

her friends had told her to cut you off. her therapist said in his own professional shrink way that you would never be good for her. at least not while you weren't even good for yourself.

but she couldn't let you go. it seemed like every reason that she had to leave you, fuelled her determination to stay.

but you don't wanna call it love!

every single time you somehow broke her heart in a new way, she fell harder in love with you.

you just wanna love someone that calls you baby!-

ellie was pulled out of her internal anger when your eyes met hers. although it was only a few seconds ago, it felt like she was staring into your eyes for an eternity.

don't fuckin' wave, ellie. look away- LOOK AWAY. , she thought to herself as she was unable to look away from your beautiful irises.

you had this slight smile on your face, the dancefloor's led lights adding a shimmer to your already twinkling eyes.

it felt like her melancholy thoughts had lifted and increased all at the same time by the sight of you acknowledging her presence.

ellie went against her better judgement, her slender hand flying up to wave at you. her lips quirked upwards gently as she scanned your delighted face.

your light expression quickly turned into one of frustration, suppressing your grin with a tightening of your lips before pulling the nearest man close to you in for an unexpected kiss, opening your eyes once you knew the mystery man's were closed, locking your eyes onto ellie's before closing them once more.

the light had died in ellie's stomach after that. her happy hand that was raised in the air faltered painfully back to her side as she watched the man's hands roam down from your sides... to your waist... to your ass.

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars,

those butterflies that she had just felt in her tummy had died slowly, turning into knots of anguish.

she watched your hands cradle the man's face. those same hands that had counted each and every freckle on her face on a snowy morning that had you both stranded in her apartment.

those same hands that had a death-grip on her back as you sobbed into her shoulder every other weeknight as she tried to muffle her own cries.

those same hands that had shoved her violently as she finally tried to stand her ground one afternoon you showed up knocking on her door. "you know what... fuck you, ellie! i don't know why i keep on doing this shit with you anyways." you said, before storming off. you called her later that night. she answered. "i'm sorry, els. i'm sorry, i'll do better, i'm so sorry-" , "it's ok, baby. it's ok. i know you didn't mean it. you're ok baby, i forgive you."

shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling!

she would've stayed in that seat, stewed in her anger for a bit more before the tears inevitably came falling down if it wasn't for the way the dude's hands creeped under your skin-tight jeans and how you flinched away from his grasp, breaking the kiss immediately with a nervous giggle creeping up.

the guy obviously took it as an invitation to do more, placing his hand back on your waist and agressively pulling you closer.

you can say it's just the way you are,

ellie's head tilted as she watched this go down.

what she wanted to do was launch that creep into the nearest wall and make sure he never tainted your body again. but she didn't want to get up too soon, she wanted to be certain that you needed help, whether you wanted it or not.

your hand stopped him from coming any closer, placing it right before his chest. you said something along the lines of, "don't want to do anything." .

make a new excuse, another stupid reason-

instead of him being a decent human being and leaving you alone, his face quickly turned into one of anger. his jaw jutted out as he tried to pull you in again, leaving you thrashing against his body.

how was no one else seeing this? why was no one else doing anything?!

she didn't even have time to process what she was about to do. her feet were on the ground, marching their way towards you before she could even think about her course of action in a smart way.

"let me go, fuckin' creep!" she heard you shriek as she grew closer to you, attempting to elbow him in the chest.

ellie felt like no matter how fast she was walking, she would never make it to you in time.

he laughed tauntingly as he grinded against. "i'm the creep, bitch?! you kissed me f-"

his last word was stolen from him as ellie forcefully pushed him off you with and landed a blow against his nose.

he groaned in pain, falling to the ground as he cradled his now-broken-nose.

you gasped in shock and horror. "what the fuck, ellie?!" you scolded her. as if you would've been fine on your own.

she ignored your words though, pulling the guy's hand away as she forced another punch to his face.

now people were finally looking.

she didn't stop until she felt your hands on her stomach, pulling her away from the scene.

"she fuckin'... said... no!..." ellie's voice thundered, erratic breaths in between her words before bringing one last painful kick to his face before letting you lead her out of the bar and into the night air.

you didn't stop even after you two were at the entrance door of the establishment, you made sure the two of you were far enough away that ellie wouldn't be caught if the police were called.

she couldn't help but feel those stupid fucking butterflies again as your hand gripped hers and felt a little disappointed when you dropped it, suddenly all too aware that you were still in public.

her green eyes met your own, yours filled with anger and chaos... hers filled with love.

"hey, swan." the auburnette sighed out simply, that stupid love-grin back on her face as she was finally close to you.

your eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as your hands went to massage your temples. you let out a humorless giggle. "you're so... fucking stupid, ellie!" you exclaimed, shoving her chest as if she was in the wrong.

her grin turned into a confused frown as she surrendered her hands in the air, her eyebrows mirroring your own now. "wh-wh....what-"

good luck, babe!

"god, you have this severe goddamn saviour complex or some shit!... i was fine! i was fucking fine on my own before you marched in and assaulted that guy."

well good luck, babe!

you gaslighted beautifully, defending the man you knew nothing about over the woman who was fatally in love with you, she almost believed you.

ellie's frown turned into an angry smile as she brought a hand to gently wipe over the bridge of her nose, a mannerism of her's she had developed whenever she got frustrated with you.

"assau-... ok, sure-... you wanna talk about assault, baby? that fuckin' guy would've assaulted you if i didn't step in. he was assaul-"

you shut your eyes tightly the way you do when you wanted to block something out that ellie was obviously right about. you shook your head stubbornly. "gggoddd ellie- it was my fault! i wanted it and then i didn't. i shouldn't have- i shouldn't have kissed him in the first place. i gave him mixed signals, i-"

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling!-

your eyebrows grew dangerously closer to your face as you cradled your head in your hands.

ellie was quick to walk right back to you, caressing your arms.

"what? baby, no. no, it's not your fault... that- that fuckin' guy... hey... look at me, sweetheart." she cooed lovingly.

good luck, babe!

you slowly brought your hands away from your face, meeting her breathtaking green eyes.

you wanted to fall into her arms, you wanted to thank her for coming to your rescue and kiss her and confess to her how scared you truly were.

but you didn't. you never did.

your slightly calm expression that came over you once you met your secret lover's gaze turned into one of annoyance. ellie was, like always, taken by surprise as you thrashed against her grip, just like the way you did with that monster in the bar.

good luck, babe!

ellie's eyes blurred with tears as she watched your face turn into a grimace.

"fuck you, ellie." you said quietly as you broke free from her hands, storming off into the night. leaving her. like always.

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

[inthewindandinthewater]

Doing Battle

Responding to this ask: Hi I'm wondering if I could request a sirius x reader but grumpy x sunshine BUT reader happens to be the grumpy one and sirius keeps trying to ask her out and gets rejected but it isn’t like “playing hard to get” but “hard to woo” if that makes sense but eventually the grumpy reader embraces the sunshine

A/n: So this kind of took on a life of its own, but I hope you like it. I did my best to keep the characterization in check whilst adhering the grumpy/sunshine trope. Like I said originally this is one of my favorite pairings so write so thank you so much for requesting!! (Side note! I changed my blog name/theme so I hope y'all can still find me, I was formerly Readitandshmeep)

Kisses -El

Warnings: Embarrassment, Drinking, that's all

Word count: 2205

Pairing: Sunshine!Sirius Black x Grumpy!Reader, Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Doing Battle

You weren’t hiding. 

You were… finding your peace of mind, that’s all. 

Peace of mind was hard to come by these days, ever since Sirius Black had made you the object of his affection. 

About two months ago he had decided that he wanted you, and by god was he going to have you. You had no clue where it started, and you could only hope that it was going to end soon. 

The particular act that had driven you out onto the back porch of the Potter's house was beyond anything you’d ever experienced with Black. 

James, still unretired from his party boy persona that had ruled Gryffindor tower during his time at Hogwarts, had decided to throw a ‘small’ party. Just a little get together with his closest friends to commemorate their formative years. 

Of course, everyone who was invited was welcome to bring whoever they wished. What a wonderful idea, make sure everyone is welcome, right? Cute

What had started as a little get together quickly escalated into a full blown rager with just about every graduate and upcoming seventh year you knew.

You hadn’t even planned on going originally, James had sent you an invite. One you were admittedly surprised to receive until you remembered that his relationship with Lily meant the world to him, and being her best friend of course you’d be invited. 

When she’d called you you’d bet that she already knew you wouldn’t want to go. 

“Look, it’s going to be sooo small, don’t even sweat it!” She said

“Yeah I won’t sweat it,” you’d replied, your tone even “because I’m not going.” 

Lily sighed and you heard her bed sheets ruffle through the receiver as she flopped back onto her bed, “why not, you never get out anymore” 

“The last party you dragged me to I got accosted in the stairwell” 

“You didn’t get accosted!” She defended, “Fabian ran into you and yes, he spilled your drink, but I think you lived.” 

“I hate them.” You resigned to guerilla war tactics. 

“I don’t understand why though.” She whined. 

“Because they were rowdy and awful and I don’t understand why Sirius insists on speaking to me!” You huffed. Lily just laughed at you, her windchime like giggle coming through the phone in clear high notes. 

“He likes you, I don’t understand why you don’t see that” She says, “it’s an innocent crush, love” 

“Yeah right, nothing about them is innocent…” Silence hung in the air for a few beats, “but, if you really want me to go..” 

Lily’s squeal had you wincing as she bolted upright, “Thank you!! You won’t regret going, we’re going to have so much fun.” 

“Yeah, I bet” You sighed. 

That was how you ended up in the opulent living room of Potter manor, music blaring and people shouting. Your mood had gone from fair to spoiled and putrid within minutes of being there, especially since Lily had ditched to cozy up with James somewhere you didn’t have the stomach to look for. 

“Good evening” A familiar voice invaded your ears and shivers ran up your spine causing your shoulders to stiffen. 

You looked over your shoulder and there he was, in rare form tonight.  Long black curls tousled and falling just around his neck, a tight pink floyd t-shirt paired with wide leg jeans. He looked good, you’d be blind to say otherwise, and my god did you wish you were blind. 

Maybe if you were blind there wouldn’t be a flush crawling onto your cheeks at the sight of him. You could always blame it on the cup in your hand, maybe if the liquid were a little bit lower. 

He took a seat on the couch next to you.

“What do you want, Black?” 

He tilted his head a bit, smiling at you all too sweaty for your liking. 

“Other than you? Not much” He shrugged. 

You huffed, letting your head fall back against the couch. “Do you ever let up?” You said, staring daggers into the ceiling. 

“Unfortunately not, Sunshine!” He leaned a little closer to you and you could smell his cologne, and oddly a lot less liquor than you’d expected. 

“So, how is my favorite girl?” He flashed a smile at you when you looked his way

“You really wanna know?” You said, your head still against the back of the coach as you looked at him. He nodded, curls bouncing with him. “Awful” 

His grin dropped into a mocking pout, “now why’s that?” You threw him and incredulous look, “Why do you think?”

Sirius sighed, dramatically looking around. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because you insist on being in a bad mood all the time?” 

Your face hardens as you sit up, turning your body toward him. “Maybe I’m just in a bad mood around you? Ever think of that?” 

“I think you like starting fights with me.” He says plainly, mirroring your body language. 

“I think you like pissing me off.” You echo. 

He just smiles at you then, leaning a little closer to you putting his face right next to yours. “What can I say, you’re cute when you’re mad.” 

“You’re the worst,” You say, “You know, you might have had a chance with me. If you weren’t you” 

“Weren’t me?” He echos, cocking his head almost like a puppy. 

“Yes, if you weren’t so loud and obnoxious. If you weren’t such a player and a jackass” You say matter of factly.

He makes a little pouting noise at you, leaning back a little and taking your hands in his. “So that’s what you want, huh?” He pulls your hands to his chest and slides down onto his knees. 

A few people turned to look at the two of you as he readied himself for another embarrassing display. You rolled your eyes, looking down at the boy knelt in front of you.

“Don’t” you say. He nods at you again, smiling up at you as. You shake your head fervently, a small smile creeping onto your own face. “No, Sirius” 

He just keeps smiling and nodding until he opens his mouth, “I’ll be so good for you, if that’s what you want!! I will be so so good for you, darling!” He cries 

For just a moment you keep your eyes locked on him before you look around and what felt like a million eyes met yours. Some of them were smiling, others laughing, some just looking on with awe. 

“Best you’d ever had I promise!” He’s still staring up at you when you look back at him, but his smile fades when he realizes the small amusement behind your eyes has died. 

You rip your hands out of Sirius’ as sprint out of the room, leaving him there knelt on the carpet calling after you. 

You were furious, beyond furious. How could he embarrass you like that? Sure he’d been pursuing you but he’d never mortified you like that. 

All the times he’d crossed a room to sit next to you, or ditched his friends to walk with you at the back of the group were now eclipsed by this one thing. Admittedly he’d been starting to dissolve the barrier you’d set between the two of you, carefully chipping at the stone walls. 

When he’d knelt down you’d expected the pleas and whines, and for just a moment the thought had tugged at your heart stings. But you hadn’t expected him to turn it into a spectacle. 

Hearing yourself say it now you can’t help but think about how silly that was, naive even. This was Sirius Black, everything he did had to be a spectacle. 

You were no exception. 

So here you were, not hiding out on the back porch of Potter manor waiting for Lily to find you so you could go home. You considered giving her an earful for even bringing you, but thought better of it. She’d just wanted you to get out for once, fair enough, she’d always been the better of the two of you. Sunshine incarnate with a trusting nature to match. 

That’s why you worked, maybe that’s why subconsciously you’d thought about letting Sirius in. No he wasn’t exactly trusting, probably one of the most suspicious people you knew. Maybe sunshine incarnate was a little steep to describe his character, but he was hellbent on cheering you up. 

You bit your tongue remembering the feeling that had bloomed in your chest when you saw him, all smiles and jokes when he came to you. You’d never let anyone see it of course, as far as they knew he was the bane of your existence. 

But you could almost swear there was something in his eye that told you he knew, secretly somewhere in the head of his he knew you liked having him around. Sure, you could blame it on being wanted but that wasn’t entirely true. 

No, unfortunately Sirius had wormed his way into your psyche… and perhaps your heart. 

That was until now, when the thought of him only induced a blinding rage and near painful embarrassment in you. 

You were brought out of your thoughts by slow, creeping footsteps creaking over the old wood flooring behind you. It could have been anyone, but your intuition had never failed you before. 

“What do you want, Black?” 

Your voice was colder than he’d ever heard it. Not that he could call any of your greetings toward him warm exactly, but this one was devoid of anything other than spite. 

He said nothing, instead he slowly came to sit behind you, keeping a good distance and staring out across the gardens in front of you. 

A silence settled into the air for a few moments that felt like several minutes before Sirius spoke. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” 

That was all he said. No empty ‘I’m sorry’s or ‘please forgive me’s. Just an admission of guilt, part of you appreciated that. But the other part of you wanted more, so you let the silence coat the air again. 

“Look, I know you don’t like me, or at least you pretend not to, but I don’t mean to embarrass you.” He says, turning to look at you. 

You shoot him a harsh glare, the anger you’d felt rising once again in the back of your throat.

“What exactly did you think was going to happen when you got on your knees and screamed at the top of your lungs?” The words spit from your tongue like venom, maybe if they burned him just a little he’d see that his actions do have consequences. 

Sirius just sighed and dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers through his hair. His sigh turned into to something like a groan. 

“I don’t know, I don’t think when I’m around you” He says quietly. 

“What’s that?” You say, incredulously. 

He lifts his head and looks at you once more, his expression is exasperated and border line annoyed. 

“I said; I don’t think much when i’m around you” 

For a moment the two of you just stare at one another, until… you laugh. Not just laugh, not like the little chuckles you’d let out when someone would tell a good joke. A full bodied, honest to god cackle. 

Sirius can’t help but smile watching you double over like a mad woman. He stared at you profile as you took a deep breath, a smile gracing your features. 

“So that’s what that was?” You turn to look at him, taking in the soft smile and look of adoration he wears, “A lack of thought?” 

“Yeah” 

You hum, looking away from him. “I don’t hate you.” You say, still looking out over the garden, “I’ve tried but I think it’s impossible.” 

It’s Sirius’s turn to laugh, not as hard as you but something little more than a scoff. “Trust me it’s not” He employs. 

“I guess it is for me.” When you meet his gaze he’s no longer smiling, but that thing behind his eyes that reads like adoration is still there. Something you suppose everyone else could see but you up until now. 

You don’t entirely understand what came over you next, but you do know that it was one of the best decisions you’d ever made. 

You always said that sunny weather was not the default, that rain and sunshine operated in a battle for control. Either one winning or losing everyday. But in that moment when you leaned forward and kissed Sirius Black for the first time your world view shifted a little. 

Perhaps it wasn’t about control after all. Maybe some days the storm clouds parted and dissipated to allow the sun to shine through to nourish the plants and heat the ground, so the children could play and the laundry on the line could dry. And perhaps other days the sun relented to the clouds, allowing them to water the earth and create cozy days where loved ones gathered together around warm fires. 

Perhaps everything existed in a balance, perhaps that’s why opposites attract. 

And perhaps that’s why that night on the porch was the first of many where you and Sirius chose one other over control.

[londondziban]

No one asked but I'm bored so here are my ratings of popular Stranger Things ships! (kind of a long post).

Disclaimer: Ship who you wanna ship. This is just for fun :)

Byler: 100/10, I love my boys. No notes.

Lumax: Also a 100/10. They're just so!!!

Elmax: 9/10. I love them with my whole heart but I'm a Lumax shipper first and foremost.

Elumax: 100000/10. Literal perfection. Elmax AND Lumax (and Hopclair, depending on how you view the ship dynamic)? Literally what more could you want?

Duzie: 7/10. They're cute and I really like Suzie. I wish we could've seen more of them, maybe Suzie will come back with a bigger role next season.

Henderhop: 6/10. Typically I HC El as a lesbian but I actually like this pairing. Definitely not a ship I'd die on but I enjoy interacting with the fan content.

Henderclair: 6/10. Listen, I love their dynamic. If I didn't HC Dustin as the token straight, I'd probably rate them higher. Platonically? Literally everything to me. Romantically? I'm not opposed.

Byclair: 8/10. I also like them a lot but I'm a die-hard Byler shipper. I do enjoy interacting with the fan content though!

Wheelclair: 7/10. They're silly and I love them but this is a particular dynamic I prefer platonic. I do HC that Mike had a crush on Lucas when they were younger though.

Mileven: 1/10. I'm just not a fan. I'm giving them a one solely cuz I enjoyed them in season 1 when I first watched the show in middle school, but I'm definitely not a fan of this ship at all. Platonically though?? Amazing.

Jancy: 10/10. I love them. I'm praying every day that the Duffers didn't completely fuck them up and that they'll be endgame.

Ronance: 9/10. I like them, they're cute. I interact with a lot of their fan content. Let's go lesbians.

Rovickie/Rockie: 7/10. I just don't know enough about Vickie yet to know if them as endgame is what I'm rooting for, but from what we've seen they're cute.

Stonathan: 10/10. I love them and I'm so excited for their interactions in season 5! They're the enemies to lovers.

Jargyle: 9/10. Love me some stoner boyfriends. They've definitely kissed before at least once.

Stancy: -10000/10. BOOOOOOO 🍅🍅🍅. They are not right for each other. Steve deserves someone who loves him and Nancy deserves someone she loves.

Stoncy: 3/10. If it's in the way that Steve and Jonathan are dating and Jonathan and Nancy are dating with Nancy and Steve being platonic, then sure. But if it's all three dating, nah. Steve and Nancy just don't work imo.

Buckingham (Chrissy x Robin): 8/10. I think this is considered a rare pair but I think they're adorable and I love the fan content around them.

Hellcheer: 5/10. Not my favorite but I have no issues with this ship. I see the vision of them as best friends mainly.

Steddie: 5/10. They're not bad and I interact with some of their fan content (some of their tiktok edits go hard), but they're just kind of okay, you know?

Jopper: 10/10. I love them. Been a Jopper fan since day one. They're so endgame.

If there's any other ships you want to know my opinion on, let me know!

(All fun and games here, y'all. Ship whatever you want)

[messrsbyler]

here comes a rant about billy so if that's not your cup of tea keep scrolling...

it's crazy to me that a piece of shit like billy hargrove is more liked than jonathan.

if you are one of billy's fans, i don't mean this in a sarcastic or jokingly way, you seriously disgust me. people be out there saying they love max but they also love billy. they love lucas but they also love billy. get. a. fucking. grip.

i'm all about letting people enjoy what they enjoy, but when you idolize a fictional character that's an abuser and a racist, that's just not it. and it's not about "oh i like morally gray characters", because billy's fans don't even acknowledge he is a bad person.

all it took was a five minute scene showing his tragic past and you were okay with everything he did? you know who also had a sucky past? el. and still, she remains a good person. also jonathan byers, with his abusive father and emotionally dependent mother, growing up as his little brother's father figure. both these characters decided to break the cycle of abuse.

having a traumatic past doesn't make you entitled to being an abuser. being a white dude in the 80's doesn't make it okay to being racist. i mean, billy literally threatened max with killing three of her new friends by running them over. he was about to fight and commit a hate crime on a black kid. it was hinted that he physically abused max by the way he grabbed her in the car and how scared max looked. max hated him so much she wished he would die. and yet some people in this fandom love him and have him as their favorite character? tell me you didn't understand shit about the show's theme without telling me you didn't understand shit about the show's theme.

all billy has going for himself is his basic white boy looks and y'all are quick to forgive him and pretend he had his redemption in s3 lmao. him giving his life wasn't a fucking redemption. it doesn't work like that. billy fans really turn a blind eye to everything he did but then go against characters like jonathan for taking those pictures in season one, even when he apologised for it and then showed us he regretted it through actions.

so, yeah. to any billy fans, you really disgust me. i'm sure you don't care about my opinion and that none of this will make it through your thick delusional skull, but if you are the type of people to excuse racism and abuse in fiction, you are only a step away of doing the same in real life.

anyhow. billy sucks.

needless to say, if you like billy in any amount unfollow me right now. i have no interest in having any type of interaction with you.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

The Phoenix and the Crow

part thirteen

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

genre: angst/neutral

el's thoughts: this... is the "official" final part of the series! thank you so so much for all the love and support y'all have given me! i left the ending in a place where i can always come back and pick it up if i wanted to. so with that being said, please enjoy this part! i hope you like it as much as i loved writing it! please remember to reblog and comment :)

masterlist

Nikolai leaned heavily on Toyla while Tamar walked on his other side, both siblings leading him to a place to sit. The crows followed silently behind the group of three, watching the other soldiers carry their dead.

“Long may the night carry our souls until the dawn renews us.” Toyla said as he helped the young king sit on a wooden crate. 

“Rabinov. Canto Seventeen.” Kaz spoke, leaning forward on his cane. 

Toyla smiled, “Seems we both share an appreciation for life’s beauty.”

Nikolai let out a soft groan when he put some of his weight on his wounded shoulder. Tamar placed her hand on his back, “Are you okay?”

“A moment of sun before we deal with our losses.”  The blonde stared blankly in front of him. “Dominik…” He cut himself off as he felt emotions rising in his throat at the thought of the loss of his best friend. 

“He did exactly what any of us would have done for each other. For you.” Tamar’s voice held nothing but conviction as she spoke. 

The group's attention was taken away from each other when they noticed five people walking into their camp. Alina lead the group while Mal followed behind everyone. Nina stopped at the line of dead soldiers and stood in her place with a distant look in her eyes. Y/N froze in her steps a few paces before the heartrender, lost in her own mind as she observed the people around her. Kaz stared at her with a flash of concern in his piercing eyes. Nikolai watched the small, nearly unnoticeable interaction with slight interest before he saw Inej hand the blade to Alina. 

Alina ran off to find Mal and before Inej walked over to the other crows she turned to Y/N. She held her hand out to call her over causing the inferni to smile softly to herself. She followed the suli girl a few paces behind her finally looking over the rest of their crew. Kaz watched her intently, waiting for her to make eye contact finally and when she did neither was brave enough to break it. A strong sense of longing filled Y/N’s chest but she held her ground, only nodding at the man before going over to Nikolai and the twins. 

“And Kirigan?” Nikolai asked. 

“Dead.” Y/N’s voice was cold and emotionless as she avoided looking into their eyes. “Zoya is protecting the body. Alina wants it burned.”

A wave of unspoken relief washed over the trio seated before her.

The young king rose to his feet and faced the crows. “Thank you. My country might have been sunk if you hadn’t arrived.” His lips formed a faint smirk, “Again.” 

“We’ll settle those thanks in gold.” 

Y/N’s eyes only lifted from the ground in front of her at the sound of Kaz’s gravelly voice.

Tamar and Toyla helped Nikolai limp away with Nadia and her brother following the trio. 

“He’s right, you know. We do have our adventures. We should hire a writer to jot down our story.” As Jesper spoke, Wylan moved to stand next to Kaz while Y/N stayed seated on the wooden crates.

“What will we call it?” The zemini continued. “The four charming rouges of Ketterdam. Yes.” He smiled to himself with pride. 

“There’s six of us.” Kaz said quietly as he glanced between Nina and Y/N.”

Jesper snapped his fingers, “Right. Six of cro-”

~

Y/N stood with Nina and the horse’s stroking their manes while leaning her head against one of their necks. She heard the muffled sound of Kaz’s cane coming towards them and she swiftly moved behind the horses so she wouldn’t have to see him directly.

“You might be a Saint now.” Kaz said to Nina. “Bringing someone back from the dead.”

“I wish I could take credit. Wasn’t me. She’s the real Saint.” They both turned to look at Alina talking with Nikolai.

“Once the world stops looking at her with gratitude, they’ll start to wonder if she's outstayed her welcome. That’ll be dangerous.” Kaz’s words caused Y/N's mind to run wild with uncontrollable thoughts. How were the people to react once they saw her for what she truly was? Where was she supposed to stay if she had to ture home? Her whole existence’s purpose was to protect grisha, at least that’s what Kirigan told her. She was to be a shield for those too weak to make their own. She was trained to willingly sacrifice herself over and over again. She didn’t know a life without that mentality.

“She may be the first person I’ve met who is both of the two most dangerous types in this world.” Nina’s voice shook her from her thoughts. 

“And which two are those?” Kaz asked. 

“Those defending their happily ever after. And those who don’t know how to find their way to one.” The heartrender spoke while watching him expectantly.

“Sounds like someone else I know.” He diverted. 

“I can't make peace with this place. I’m not giving up on my happily ever after.” Nina shook her head, “I’ll claw my way to one. If he’ll let me.”

Kaz’s eyes moved past Nina to the pair of boots standing behind one of the horses before looking back at the girl in front of him. “Let me help you.”

Y/N smiled softly to herself at the sound of determination in his voice. Proud of the small bit of care for his friends breaking through his walls. 

~

The heat was scorching as they all stood around Kirigan’s body that laid on a bed of firewood. Y/N extended her hand from where she stood and lit the two torches where they laid in their basket. She stood next to Zoya with Genya and Alina next to them. The crows stood behind the girls while Nikolai and his soldiers stood on the stone steps in front of everyone. 

Kaz stood directly behind the inferni, everything in his being screamed to place a hand of comfort on her shoulder but he knew he couldn’t. Instead he was left to watch in affliction as her shoulders visibly tensed beneath her uniform, her hands clenched and unclenched at the sight of the Darkling’s body before her. The man who caused her mental and emotional pain for years before she was able to escape. Before Kaz was able to do everything in his power to keep her safe and out of harm's way the best he could. 

“You go.” Alina spoke to Zoya and Genya. “You both have every right.”

Zoya lit the bed of firewood first, her eyes never leaving the Darkling’s pale face as she tossed the torch next to his feet. Genya then walked forward and lit the wood next to his head, making sure the fire caught before turning and handing the torch to Alina. 

“No grave. Nothing left.” Alina spoke as she stood before the body. “Goodbye, Aleksander.” She threw the torch onto him and walked back to stand beside Genya. 

Y/N moved her hands subtly twirled her fingers to spread the fire over the bed of wood while Nikolai walked down the steps.

“Today is a new beginning.” The young king started his speech. “For all of Ravka. Hell, for our whole world. It’s a bit daunting, isn't it? Knowing where to go from here.” He looked at the four girls at the front of the group, Alina and Genya holding hands while Y/N and Zoya stood beside each other like soldiers. “We’ve had a singular focus for so long. So much blood has been shed. After hundreds of years separated by the Fold, we can celebrate a unified Ravka. Our neighbors to the North will see us united and will aim to strike. But often it’s not the battle that takes the most from us. It’s the aftermath. The chance to put the pieces of our lives back together.” He focused his attention on Y/N, the girl holding eye contact with him. “When a Phoenix rises for the ashes, it is not the same. But in that rebirth, is potential. Potential for a new purpose.” 

Y/N turned her head down to stare at her sandy boots. Hyperawear of Kaz’s lingering eyes on the back of her head.

“Thanks for what Alina has done for us,” Nikolai continued. “We all have a chance to better the world now that the Fold is gone. Above all, you must trust. Trust in each other. In yourselves. Trust in the fact that this is the start of better days to come. And it won’t be easy, of course. Nothing is.” He looked around the group of soldiers and thieves. “I had hoped to end that on a more uplifting note, but here we are.”

The crows all walked away, glancing back at Y/N every-so-often as she stood with her eyes glazed over while she stared at the charred body of General Kirigan.

Alina wrapped her arm around Genya and looked to the other two girls silently asking them to come closer. Zoya stepped first and reached her hand out to Y/N, drawing her into her side. Nikolai watched the four girls with an ache in his chest but a slight smile on his lips before he too followed the rest of the group. Leaving them there to have their final moments alone. 

~

Y/N sat with her hand’s clasped in front of her on her knees. Her eyes were closed as her lips moved in a silent prayer. She prayed for her country and the road ahead of them they’d have to pave. She prayed for her old friends and new found friends. For them to find peace and happiness in every step forward from now on. 

The last of her prayers fell from her lips when she heard soft footsteps down the hall followed by the unmistakeable clicking of her favorite cane. She closed her eyes and bit back her smile when she felt him walk into the small chapel room.

“Lantsov paid up.” Kaz said. “Everyone will get their cut.”

“I didn’t do this for the money, Brekker.” Y/N replied, her eyes still focused on the stained glass portrait of Alina. She sighed when he didn’t say anything. “And Nina?”

“She’ll receive a pardon for deserting and another for her Fjerdan.” The inferni looked back at him, his eyes not meeting her as he updated her. “As long as he stays out of trouble, the charges will be dropped.”

She nodded and faced forward once again, opening her mouth to say something then quickly decided against it and bit her tongue.

“I also…” Kaz cleared his throat. “Wanted to say goodbye.”

Y/N felt her eyes glaze over as she turned to look at him, “I didn’t think you were the sentimental type.” Her smile faded when he didn’t say anything, his eyes avoiding her at all costs. “Who said I wasn’t going back to Ketterdam? I have to say… That city has grown on me.”

“Ravka is your home. You and I both know that you need to stay. Your country still needs you, Y/L/N. They’ll need someone to help lead, not a king, not a sun Saint. They’ll need a strong soldier.”

Y/N turned away from him quickly, blinking back her tears. That was the last thing she hoped to hear. How she still had to keep fighting for her country, for the people who hadn't done much for her in return. She couldn’t go back with the people who had shown her true kindness. Not yet anyway.

She swallowed hard before speaking, “I know this won’t mean much to you… but I pray for him. For the person who you once were. And you.”

“I don’t want your prayers.”

“What do you want then?” 

Kaz stared at her as she looked down at her hand and twisted her fingers together. And all at once, that familiar sense of longing settled in his stomach. What did he want? For her to let go of her morals and values just to come back to Ketterdam with him? For her to be one of his crows or something more? To be able to see her everyday in the normalcy of the Barrel. To have everyday conversations with her. To get to know her better than anyone has ever tried. For her to trust him just as he felt he could trust her. What did he want? Her.

“To die, buried under the weight of my own gold.” His mind screamed at him for lying. For lying to her of all people.

Y/N chuckled humorlessly, “More money. More scores to settle.” With a deep breath she rose to her feet and walked closer to him. Her actions startled him for a split second. “Was there never another dream?” His lack of response caused her to nod and start walking past him. 

The sudden urge to reach out for her washed over Kaz so strongly he finally gave in. His gloved hand clasped around her wrist. “Stay.”

She froze at the feeling of the leather on her skin, the air leaving her lungs in a gasp. 

“Stay in Ketterdam.” He choked out the words. “Stay with…” He couldn’t finish  his thought as she turned around to face him. 

She smiled softly as she looked at their hands “What would be the point?” She moved her hands to hold his one in both of hers. “We both don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into yet, and that’s okay. You’re not ready and… I might not be either.” She let out a sigh. “You have a kingdom of your own back in Ketterdam to run and I have a country to help run. We… We have jobs to do, you said so yourself. But-” She finally brought her eyes up to his and licked her lips in thought as her mind ran over her next words. “But if you’re also willing and the Saints above see it fit… I’ll wait. For you. I’ll be here waiting for you whenever you’re ready. I will have you, Kaz Brekker, when you’re ready. That’s my promise to you.” She smiled one last time up at him before letting go of his hand and walking out of the chapel room.

Kaz continued to stare where she once stood and gave in to the slight quirk of his lips. When he’s ready. That was something he could live with.

~*~*~

taglist:@rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012 @foulkryptonitepeanut @astridyoo15 @queenofshinigamis @peakyispunk @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger @winstonthecow22 @lee-says-things @bunneex @writingmysanity @sleepynightchild @madnessinwrighting @romanticvampire @dark-academia-slut

[jmdbjk]

It's time for the Weekly Bangtan Report!

Happy Birthday Hobi! Neuron Crew has posted a happy birthday tribute on their social media channels. Here is the video on YouTube:

Neuron Crew are a group of Hobi's dance colleagues and friends from pre-debut. He's known them since middle school. This video was shot at Daedong Plaza in Gwuangju, Hobi's hometown city.

I was wondering last time if we'd see him in between training groups and here he is! The birthday boy himself was out and about. He saw his birthday banners and posters! I suspect this is possibly near his apartment building.

And COMING MARCH!!! HOPE ON THE STREET!!!

Personally, I hope its a series and not just one full length documentary type thing.

Ok, now news for the thirsty folks (thirsty folks=all of us) I was going to start this weekly recap with this, but...

I decided to spare everyone. I'm sure y'all are tired of seeing naked Jungkook (of course that was a joke).

EDIT: CK pulled a bonehead and did not add this particular hoodie to their website before dropping the pics. It supposedly is there now.

As I predicted months and months ago, these brand ambassador deals are the gifts that keep on giving (thank you jesus and tight pants).

Jungkook's deal with Calvin Klein ... he said he wears the "tight kind" ... dare I even go here? will we...? did he...? We Wait™️

There is a video of behind the scenes of his music show recordings he did from Seven's release to Golden's promotions is available on BangtanTV.

Yoongi's Valentino campaign is beginning to appear in Japan.

We still know nothing about what he's up to but we keep getting episodes of Suchwita. Perhaps we'll get one with his good friend, producer El Capitxn. We Wait™️

Taehyung has a photo spread in the current issue of WKorea. Flowers. Lots of flowers:

And he posted on Valentine's day but not really a love note (lol, he's a goofball) but the boy is gaining some weight. He's up to 160 lbs...

I present to you my interim report. Attained 72.5 kg I will come again. Salute Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

Namjoon.... there is that sus image of him playing the saxophone in a red military band uniform (not gonna post the pic). Is it an edit? Ok, so let's think about this.

When have we ever heard Namjoon say he knows how to play the saxophone? That would be approximately zero times he's ever said that. You'd think we would have had some Taehyung/RM interactions or conversations over the years involving saxophones. Nothing.

Do you know how hard it is to learn to play a wind instrument?

And there is only that one single suspicious image. Usually there are multiple weird sneaky angles, blurry shots, etc. I'm just saying I remain skeptical until I hear more from a different source, or from Joon himself. I've seen several pics supposedly of Jimin and Jungkook, one of them sitting in a cafeteria that looked hella real and then the original pic is shown and it's just... wow... edits can be very deceiving.

Joon posted a Lunar New Year message to us on Weverse:

Hello ARMYs, I hope you're doing well. I've come to my assigned military base and am adapting and doing well. I've had some tteokguk* too. Since it's Seollal, I've also been resting a bit, and I'm living well. I will need to spend one more Seollal here before I can see you but, I'm spending my time well. I really believe that this time will lead to different kinds of learning and experiences. Whenever, wherever you are, please stay healthy, and I hope that your life has a lot more good than bad. Hoping that the connection we share continues, I wish you a happy new year ! (*Rice cake soup traditionally eaten during Seollal, or Lunar New Year.) Trans cr; Aditi @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

And his @ rpwprpwprpwp Instagram account posted some pics this past week. Since comments are open on that account, Armys are trying to outdo each other with the corniest pickup lines:

IS THERE AN AIRPORT NEARBY, OR WAS THAT JUST MY HEART TAKING OFF? If you were a triangle you'd be acute one 💋 If I'm the pencil, you're the highlighter. Because I'm gonna draw our future and you're gonna make it brighter.

Jimin also posted a short but super sweet Lunar New Year message on Weverse and mentioned Jungkook:

It's Lunar New Year ARMYs! I hope you have a happy Lunar New Year and I hope this year for you is a healthy year filled with happiness Jungkook and I are doing well so please don't worry about us too much. I'll check in with you again! Hope you have lots of good food and eat a lot today   Trans cr; Annie @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

I was so happy to see a message from him and so glad he said they are both doing well. But I'm still going to worry...

Nothing new from Jin, we've already had his February message. 116 days left. But here he is and I am looking forward to having his grown ass, mature, military experienced man back with us in a few months:

Other Bangtan related news this week: Enhypen released a cover of I Need U. Some people are speaking negatively about it. What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people?

That song was important for BTS, it was their first TV music show win and it was IMPORTANT and a big WIN for them that broke the door open. They were about to give up!

Be flattered that BTS is of a calibre that other well-known artists want to cover their songs! That being said, if you don't like the way they covered the song, fine, just move on, there's no need to be mean-spirited about it.

Last weekend, a Japanese TV show seemed to tease/spoil a hint that possibly high profile celebs stayed at a resort in a town outside Sapporo recently... the hint was "Dynamite." This was the resort:

Uh... nice... delulu brain activated...

[kairiscorner]

more miles x filo reader plz hshsjsjdns but this time can it be that they are not dating yet and hes still crushing 💗

YES, I AM ON IT !!

miles morales x filipino reader

i'd like to think miles would've fallen for you the minute he saw you, actually. like, his heart would beat just a little faster when he saw you, but he brushed it off as excitement to meet a new friend or see a new face at his school.

he was drawn to your beauty, your noticeable features as someone of filipino descent. you could say you rizzed him up by just being who you are, you super magandang individual o(*￣▽￣*)o

when he met you, he instantly found himself drawn to you and your little traits and habits. how you might point with your lips, say, "ah, ano..." when you start a conversation, how you use the "mano po" culture towards his parents (THEY FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR THAT) and just every little thing about you, be it related to your heritage or culture or just anything about you, he fell--and he fell hard.

HE WENT THROUGH A RABBIT HOLE ON WIKIPEDIA ABOUT FILIPINO HISTORY

he stumbled across this song, and he vibed to it (he felt a little sad, maybe a little strange after learning the meaning of the lyrics, it was a feeling he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it danced on the tip of his tongue when he thought of you, iykyk what i mean)

he'd try to impress you by speaking to you in tagalog after hearing you speak it sometimes, but he used the mas malalim na tagalog and ended up confusing you 😭😭😭

"ang iyong kagandahan ay ubod ng... how do you say that word? wait, wait, uh... " (looks through the script he made to rizz you up, MOST OF IT IS IN INCORRECT TAGALOG TBH 😭😭😭)

he loves going over to your house whenever he can, he feels nice and at home with you, what more at your place where he feels so safe and comfortable?

i also like to think you two would walk outside together, play outdoors a lot, maybe visit a sari-sari store together or a store run by a local filipino nearby and show him some local filipino snacks and drinks you loved :>

HE LOVES PIATTOS

you loved feeding him piattos, like omg. and he jokingly bites your fingers when you do it, and he loves when you scream at him with a wide smile, "ANUBA" when he playfully bites your fingers as you feed him, he chuckles a lot about it and points out how someone's gotta watch their fingers when they eat this.

you two would definitely share a straw from those soft drinks in a plastic bag, LIKEEE one bag, one straw, two of you 🫶🫶🫶

HE GOT ADDICTED TO POTCHI ONCE !!!!!

"oh yo it's kirby" him at the potchi mascot

he also jokes about how you look exactly like the potchi mascot when you're blushing and pouting, AND IT MAKES YOU EVEN MORE FLUSTERED MAN

I FEEL LIKE IF YOU TWO WATCHED MARIA CLARA AT IBARRA, HE'D TAKE NOTES BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH RIZZ IBARRA HAS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU like me SIMPED FOR THE MAN

he'd also learn dancing with you if you were into it, even if you meant it as a platonic gesture, he'd savor every moment of it :>> AND IF YOU TWO DANCED THE EL BIMBO (iykyk) HE'D BE CHUCKLING AND GIGGLING AT HOW SILLY YOU TWO WOULD SHAKE Y'ALL'S HIPS AND YOU BOTH WOULD JUST ERUPT IN PEALS OF LAUGHTER AT HOW FUNNY YOU TWO LOOK WHEN DANCING IT

but deep inside, he'd already be falling deeper and deeper in love with you, wishing every day could just be like this. he wants to come over to your place all the time and just spend the day doing everything you wanna do or just nothing at all.

he loves the way your hair falls when you turn you head to look at him, he loves your sass and quips, he loves how you never take anyone's bullshit and he... he loves dancing with you. he loves holding you close and watching as the music takes you away into a freeing feeling, a feeling that only you two are in the world right now.

a/n: he listens to "ang huling el bimbo" on the way home.

tags !! @thecoolerdor @q2ie @binibinileonara

[forabeatofadrum]

Good day, y'all. I am tired af and I spent most of the past 48 hours under my blanky, so I missed yesterday's El WiWi. Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @cutestkilla, @nightimedreamersworld, @shrekgogurt and @nausikaaa for the tags. And hi to @quizasvivamos and @caramelcoffeeaddict for the preemtive tags. and welcome back @that-disabled-princess.

You can all thank @cutestkilla for what you're about to read next, because she came up with this for MCD and I am obsessed:

After a few minutes, I finally see the flock of birds that I have been looking for. I take out my magickal binoculars. They’re spelled for wonderful night vision and it makes it more easy to zoom in. After all, I am a bit out of sight. I don’t want to get too close, because I don’t want to scare them off. I am so entranced by the sight of these birds that I barely notice the bickering in the distance. I mean, it’s annoying, for sure, but the birds are fine with it. I do definitely notice the fucking explosion, though. I feel the heat of the Chosen One’s magic before it actually hits me, so in panic I throw myself on the floor in the hopes of this magickal wave going over me. It works. Sort of. I wait for the magic to be gone. I can hear the Chosen One and that annoying Pitch Heir yell at each other about a Chimera, or something, so I see that as a sign that whatever they fought is gone. I slowly sit up and reach for the binoculars. This evening did not go the way I planned, but the Chosen One’s bullshit won’t stop me from enjoying my birds. But once I look through my binoculars, all I see are the charred remains of the birds I’ve adored so much. At moments like this, I wish the Humdrum could just kill me.

And now, the weather: @coffeegleek @raenestee @tectonicduck @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cerriddwenluna @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @whatevertheweather @theotherhufflepuff @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @esilher @kurtsascot @blackberrysummerblog @nightimedreamersghost

[aces-and-angels]

DONATE TO SHAHED'S FAMILY

dear moots/lovely lurkers:

if you've been online for these last few weeks- you may have noticed how often i've been pushing shahed's gfm. her campaign has been verified (source -> no. 224 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's sheet of vetted campaigns). and if y'all haven't had the chance to become acquainted, this is shahed:

shahed is a 21 year old who used to be a student at al-azhar university before the genocide began. with both her parents having taken ill, she is the sole provider for her family right now, including her five siblings, youngest of whom is just a baby. before the war, shahed used to take/share the most beautiful photos. this is one of them (taken from her tumblr @shahednhall | shahed's instagram

with the generous support of friends/strangers alike, shahed has been able to reach over $40K USD, enough to begin evacuating some of her family members (her younger siblings + her father) who are in desperate need of medical care

however, our work is far from over

shahed + her family are 17 strong and they all deserve a chance to live a life worth living. the situation in gaza is beyond catastrophic and grows more dangerous with each passing day. i have been in communication with shahed and would like to share her most recent message to me:

shahed: I have been displaced from my area, my circumstances are very difficult. I can't open the Internet for long periods, so I want you to help me more in publishing my campaign. I want to have reached a very difficult stage. I want to complete the campaign as soon as possible. I want to rest, I feel that I really survived. I don't want my campaign to stop halfway.

just yesterday, shahed shared that she narrowly escaped death while trying to get food/water for her family. the attacks/bombings at her campsite have forced her to move yet again

every displacement puts both a physical and emotional strain on these families. more often than not, there is little warning before they have to move- and when the time comes- they have to act quickly, leaving behind whatever they can't carry on their backs/can't afford to take with them <- yes, it costs money for them to be able to move.

every message i receive fills me with a mixture of relief and heartbreak-- i do not wish to know what i'll feel if i were to stop getting messages from shahed. i can't. not when i know there's a path to get her family to safety

that is why i am starting this donation match for her campaign. i don't have very much to offer, but i know that if enough people contribute a little, it can amount to a lot 🖤

for those able, please consider matching my donation of $5 USD (proof of donation below cut). shahed has a long way to go before she can achieve her goal of $80K. even if you cannot match me at this time (which is totally okay)- please share this post so others may have a chance to help

IMPT NOTE: @journalsforpalestine is raffling a set of beautiful journals. 4 winners will be chosen on August 31st. for anyone interested in entering -> please read the rules here for the first person to reblog & match my donation (and wants to enter in this raffle) i will give you my entry, so you will be entered to win twice* *(every entry= $5, so if you donate more, you will be entered accordingly).

current stats: $42,726 raised of $80,000 goal

tags for reach (sorry yall- please let me know if you wish to be removed from this list- no hard feelings, truly 🖤)

@timetravellingkitty @meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe 

@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako 

@feluka @terroristiraqi @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria 

@deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @junglejim4322 @kibumkim @neechees 

@mangocheesecakes @kyra45 @marnota @7bitter @tortiefrancis 

@toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca 

@aristotels @komsomolka @neptunerings @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts 

@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat 

@watermotif @stuckinapril @violentrevolution @mavigator @lacecap 

@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates

@parsnipjunction @mintmoth @mrfluffyturtle @colombinna @tinygalaxykid

@br-eddrolls @0luna123 @block-swing-perry @eflatminorseven @mothtral

@charlie-charlie @bitterlyromantic @pseudonymousposting @divineclouds

@interact-if

@agnesandhilda @frostbitefae @dove-tears @soljierpg @assad-zaman

@claudeleine @error-core-animations @kengi-bengi-alt @juneybug @kodigobacktosleep

@apocalyptic-dancehall @imnotthepersonyouseek @toonirl @kingofthebookcase

@kazehita @yonch @ayoedebiris @pinkdreamscape1 @king-dail 

@caseys-soup-corner @shoogachi @killy @missusmousse @j0ckhead

@whoopsiedaisy20 @squidie-tittie @dreamingamongthestars @trexpel @mischief16

@aria-ashryver @mydemonsdrivealimo @cadybear420 @thosehallowedhalls @ascindio

[ronancexists]

I forgot to post for the first day 😭😭. So I'm going to post Day 1 & Day 2 today, and afterwards I'll be following the regular schedule. I sincerely apologize for my mistake and I hope y'all are ok with it. Anyways, here's my submission for Day 1 of Ronancetober. Day 2 will be up later today because again, it slipped my mind that it was already October :)

Day 1: Upside Down

"Mike better wish I don't get my hands on him when I get free," Nancy seethed, normally bright blue eyes darkened with the intent to murder.

“That makes two of us,” Robin grumbled as she wriggled around, trying her best to free herself and Nancy, but to no avail.

She and Nancy had been paired up to do the nightly perimeter check alongside one of the cracks that had formed after Vecna had almost killed Max, as they did every night. Joyce and Hopper had paired up as well as Steve and Murray, the last pairing being Yuri and Enzo. The adults did it every night, but her, Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve switched off in different pairings every night, so one of them could stay behind and be there with Argyle to watch over Dustin, Will, Mike, Lucas, Max, Erica, and El.

Naturally, the other teens grumbled about being excluded. All of the adults, however, were very strict about them keeping an eye on Max and their families. If something happened to them while they were on patrol, the younger teens had to be ready to protect the town. After lots of arguments and debates, they agreed so long as they got to have a walkie and listen in on their patrol check-ins.

Hopper had decided, alongside Joyce, that tonight would be Robin and Nancy who would assist them in checking the glowing red ravines running through Hawkins. The two readily agreed, more than eager to do something productive to help. Nancy loaded up her guns while Robin made some Molotov cocktails and cleaned the nail bat Steve had made for her. They finished packing their bags, and with a small high-five, they were off. They set off on the crack that traveled north from the Byers home, only after promising to check in every twenty minutes with the adults.

“We should check the traps while we’re out here,” Nancy said, looking over her shoulder and stifling a laugh as Robin nearly tripped over a tree root that was sticking out of the ground.

“I'm fine. Totally fine. Definitely not freaked out about possibly being eaten alive by one of these creatures or anything. And I'm definitely not freaked out about the fact that we could contract any number of diseases from said creatures, including rabies. I've told you that rabies is like, my number one fear, right? Because if I haven't, then let me tell you—”

Nancy reached over and put her hand over Robin’s mouth, ignoring her surprised expression and tilting her head towards the bushes in front of them. Something was moving around in there and causing a ruckus. When she was satisfied Robin wouldn’t speak, she removed her hand from over the taller girl’s mouth. In sync, the two women reached for their weapons, Nancy cocking her gun as Robin tightened her grip on her nail bat. Slowly, the two of them approached, Nancy only a few steps ahead of Robin. With an exchanged glance, the two of them rushed forward, only to yelp and scream in surprise as they were abruptly lifted into the air.

“What the fuck?!” Nancy exclaimed while Robin groaned in pain as she had hit her head on one of the branches.

The two of them were suspended in the air with a rope tied around their ankles. The rope was attached to the trunk of the tree. Oh, and they were also hanging upside down.

“Unbelievable!” Nancy growled, eyes following the source of the rustling, which also happened to be what caused them to get into this mess.

“It's so cute! Look at its little face and its little ears and its little nose!” Robin gushed, a toothy grin on her face as she also stared at the creature that had gotten them into this mess.

Nancy sighed in a mix of amusement and frustration as the little rabbit stared at them. It's nose twitched a few times before it hopped away.

“Umm, Nancy?”

“Yes Robin?”

“What are we supposed to do? Because our next check-in is in seven minutes, and if we don't respond everyone is going to think something terrible happened to us. Then they're going to come running and abandon their own posts where an actual monster could emerge and get free and cause massive damage in Hawkins all because we were stupid enough to get stuck in one of our own traps. I don't even remember this trap being marked on the maps. Unless I was looking at the wrong maps, then—”

“It was Mike,” Nancy interrupted, shaking her head in anger. “He was talking about setting some surprise traps with the other kids since they suspected Vecna might possibly use Will as a spy like he did before.”

��So what, they snuck out after we all explicitly forbade them from coming here to set traps Will doesn't know about so some of them would surprise Vecna if he decided to stage an attack?”

“Essentially, yes.”

“Those kids are either extremely stupid or extremely brave. What if something had happened to them? They'd just get into even more trouble and cause us to keep an even closer eye on them.”

“You're telling me,” Nancy muttered. “We’ll scold them later. Right now, we need to focus on getting out of here before we cause a panic.”

“Right, yeah. You wouldn't happen to have a knife on you or anything, would you?” Robin inquired, beginning to feel a bit dizzy with all the blood rushing to her head.

“I do, but unfortunately, it’s in my pack.”

“...which is on the ground.”

“That little shithead better wish I don't get my hands on him when I get free.”

“That makes two of us.”

The girls froze as their walkie crackled with static before Jonathan’s voice came through. “Mom, Hopper, do you copy?”

“Shit!” they exclaimed in unison, moving and thrashing every which way to try and free themselves so they could get to the walkie on time.

“We copy. No signs of anything over here,” Hopper responded. Joyce’s voice soon came through as well, asking if they had had enough to eat and if everything was alright. Typical worried, slightly overprotective mom stuff. Nobody could blame her though, not after everything that’s happened, and especially not with Vecna seeming to have a certain fascination on El and Will.

“Enzo, Yuri, do you copy?”

“We copy. No suspicious activity over here,” Enzo replied.

“Harrington, Murray, do you copy?”

“Copy. We’ve got nothing,” Steve confirmed.

“Nancy, Robin, do you copy?”

“Oh come on!” Robin shouted, running her hands over her face. “We’re so going to be dead if we ever get out of here!”

“Keep trying!” Nancy barked out, resolving to apologize to Robin later once they were at the Byers home.

While the two of them kept trying to get out of the ropes, Steve was shouting into the walkie.

“Rob, don’t do this to me! Do you copy?! I repeat, do you copy?!”

“Harrington, you need to calm your ass down! They have five minutes before we go searching for them. That’s the protocol.”

“I have an idea!” Robin proclaimed, reaching up to cut at the ropes with the laces of her shoes. It was something she had picked up on from her parents. They had gone camping a lot when she was younger to connect with nature and shit, and they had taught her to be prepared for anything.

“Hurry!”

“Screw your protocol!” Steve argued through the walkie. “That’s my best friend you’re talking about, and I won’t leave her alone to die!”

“This is a lot harder than it looks,” Robin huffed, face red with beads of sweat dripping down her temples. All of a sudden, she was quite grateful for the toned physique soccer had given her. She decided she would thank her old coach once they got out of this mess.

“Robin, we don’t have much time left!” Nancy said, noticing that Hopper and Steve had already been arguing for three minutes on the watch Robin was sporting on her left wrist.

“Got it!”

Not even a second had passed before Robin’s triumphant exclamation before they went hurtling towards the ground as quickly as they had ascended. The breath was knocked out of the both of them as they landed in a heap on the forest floor. Nancy was the first to recover and hastily scrambled to her feet, reaching the walkie that was a few feet away.

“This is Nancy! Robin and I copy! I repeat, Robin and I copy!”

She and Robin exchanged exasperated glances as everyone began talking a mile a minute. “We’re fine, I promise. A little banged up, but we’re alright.”

“What happened?” Steve inquired, needing to know if his best friend and friend were in danger.

“We’ll explain later,” Robin stated, shooting a wink towards Nancy, knowing they would come up with a cover story by the time they had gotten back. “But we’re safe, and there’s no monsters here. That’s all that matters.”

“Finish your sweeps and meet back at the Byers,” Hopper instructed.

Everyone signed off the walkies, relieved to know that no harm had come to Nancy and Robin.

“Let’s get going,” Nancy said once they had gathered all of their supplies.

“And let’s try to avoid the traps,” Robin said, shuddering at the thought of being stuck with no escape.

Nancy hummed in agreement, standing on her tiptoes to plant a chaste kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. “Remind me to thank you properly later.”

Robin gulped, nodding frantically with her eyes wide. “Umm, yeah. I-I mean, absolutely.”

Nancy giggled and began walking back towards the Byers home, but not before linking her hand with Robin’s, warmth sparking from their hands all the way to their hearts.

“Have I mentioned how much I love you, Nancy Wheeler?”

“Not as much as I love you, Robin Buckley.”

And if a few weeks after the incident, the younger teens kept finding all different assortments of bugs in their rooms, well, that was a secret between Robin and Nancy, and a secret it would stay.

[flowercrowngods]

For your fic writer asks:

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about "I'll try. i'll try. (but i couldn't be better)? Answer it now!

(not that I'm half obsessed with that fic or anything)

🌷 the fic: i'll try. i'll try. (but I couldn't be better) 🌷

there have been so many wonderful questions already about this fic in the comments (srsly everyone who asks me questions about it just y'all have my whole entire heart), that's why this ask was buried in my inbox for so long even though I constantly vibrate with the need and urge to talk about this story

one main theme in what people ask me is when they point out something they liked or that has them invested, if that was a conscious choice (either of mine or of steve's). and the answer to that almost all the time is, yes it is. it is debatable as to how ✨conscious✨ steve's decisionmaking is, riddled as he is by trauma, fear, grief and a semi-dissociated and growing compulsive behaviours. but me, I look at Steve allowing el to choose anything from his closet, but still putting what he thinks would work best on the bed, essentially giving her the choice to make a choice. it is, sort of, the first choice el has really made, ever. and there is a symbolism in that, her right to choose beginning and ending surrounded by all things Steve, y'know?

something I wish I would be asked but cannot and will not answer, is a question regarding the title. "I'll try. I'll try. (but I couldn't be better)". is that the title giving us a spoiler for an unhappy ending? is that why there's no tag for that? is the 1st person POV here from steve, as his POV is what makes the story? or is that title just as unreliable as steve's recounts and memories and expectations and predictions and decisions guided by fear and trauma and grief? is trying, and trying again, the theme of this story, next to all the heavy shit? is it a story about hope, first and foremost? does he doubt in his abilities to "be better" but does he try anyway (and repeatedly!)?

I know the ask said to answer that question (but technically that was multiple questions). but I will not. hehe.

you also said to to just ramble about my story, and we all know I never turn down an invitation to that. and when I write, there are many instances of what I feel are parallelisms or symbolism or hidden metaphors, y'now (decision making!!). and I yell at myself in lieu of the readers, like, did you catch that? did you notice? did you see?

do you notice that el comforts Steve by carding her hand through his hair after he did it first in chapter 7, when he cleaned her wounds and made sure she was warm and safe. and then he gave her his clothes and then he made waffles and ruffled her nonexistent buzzed hair, and what she associates with that gesture is: warmth, comfort, understanding first and foremost. for the first time in her life. gentle touch without demands or manipulation.

did you notice that Steve is going more and more nonverbal the more he tries not to think about things, the more happens to him, and the more he has to do it by himself (with el obv)? and how in chapter 8, there is this:

He closes his eyes and looks for words again. It’s less repulsive now, the thought of speaking. Less scary, not as insurmountable a task as before. Not with El, for some reason. Not when she’s the one who makes him human.  He needs to be known to be human. 

and how there is no one who knows him. except for this girl, and he was so hesitant to cling to her in the beginning, but now he quite genuinely has no other option. no other choice.

do you notice that he is losing touch with his humanity in all that unprocessed grief and inconceivable burden of having travelled back in time to save all his friends? he's not only dissociating for the narrative, it's not the fuzzy "stare ahead blankly while the world moves along", he's just so far removed from the world that he can't even put words to it. he doesn't even feel human.

did you notice that chapter 9 and chapter 1 were directly juxtaposed, paralleled. did you notice the forest vs. the upside down? did you notice how there is no light in chapter 9, except for the moonlight, and then the flash of light at the end of it? symbolism.

I could go on and on. I am obsessed with it honestly. someone mentioned in a comment that it broke them, how seamlessly robin's commentary is built in sometimes, like he really still hears her voice, like she really is there, still, like he hasn't processed her death yet.

and it's only been a week.

did you notice. did you notice all of this and more, do you read the story the way I write it, do you find these things, do you connect the dots, do you do you do you?? *vibrates endlessly*

[thatonebirdwrites]

This chapter is a gift to y'all. Fluff for the holidays sprinkled with Nia's mischief. I wove it as a reflection Kara is having at the end of the day, so we get to see some of the events of Confession from Kara's perspective and conversations she's had to try to sort out how to talk to Lena about her feelings. Plus you get to see cute fluff of their quiet day of exploration of the area around Doolin, Ireland. Enjoy!

EXCERPT:

Kara did not understand human courtship. For one, the immense amount of rules had her baffled. For each rule she thought she’d gotten a handle on, two more appeared. How did humans keep track of it all? 

She stood on the top of a hill in Ireland, her back to her friends, while she watched the sunset and pondered how to go about trying to court Lena properly. She’d been thinking about it all day, especially after Nia had hinted strongly Kara's interest in it to Lena herself. That was mortifying! Yet, Lena handled it with grace like always.

Kara wanted this day to be a happy memory for Lena, to give her hope, especially after such a stressful morning. Each activity they did, Nia and her had carefully planned in hopes of easing Lena's stress.

Kara found herself reviewing the day. She wished she'd been brave enough to ask for clarification for what Lena had meant when she said she needed to ‘take it slow a little longer.’ 

When she had been with Mon-el, it had been a miserable ordeal, but he’d also directly stated he wanted to date her. He’d treated her badly again and again, never listening to her, and she kept having to clean up his mess. During her Krypton education, she had to study a lot of alien planets, including the sister world of Daxam, so Mon-el’s behaviors had made sense. Humans not so much.

If she had been honest with herself, it had never been Mon-el she’d wanted. It wasn’t until Lena had resurrected her that all the pieces of a very confusing puzzle shifted into perfect clarity. She’d been in love with Lena this entire time, every since she’d first set eyes on her that day in her office with her cousin. All the times she’d rushed to save Lena, to keep her safe, to support her, to be present in whatever way she could? 

That wasn’t best friend behavior, that was more than best friend behavior. It had taken the agony of her death eclipsed by the intense warmth of her resurrection for her to finally understand:

Read the rest here.

[duns-writes]

*banging pots and pans together*

Hey Jancy nation! Jonathan Byers appreciation club! Come get y'alls fic!

Tagging @beef-a-ronie, @jonathanssweatercollection @jancys-blue-bayou in case you're interested. If anyone wants to be tagged or untagged, let me know!

----

Music and laughter, and we're young and alive

CW/TW: Very Temporary Character Death, blood, injury, pain, hospitals, mentions of child abuse in later chapters

In which Jonathan gets hurt, and the people who love him realise just how much he's taken on.

Chapter 1: Take Me Out Tonight

Jonathan dies on a Tuesday.

They're in the back of a van. Speeding towards the only clinical space that's still functioning, the FEMA field hospital just outside of town. (Argyle is doing a surprisingly good job of driving both double the speed limit and safely.)

She'd watched and waited in the final showdown, building the strategy so that all they had to do (ha!) was get to Vecna and strike him down. The demodogs and bats had been neutralised, radio communication turned off, and Jonathan (against everybody's wishes) had volunteered as the distraction. ("Will and El are going to need you two, and Mike and Holly need their big sister.")

Time had stretched and warped like taffy, but they could still recognise it was taking too long. Something wasn't right, but what? She and Joyce had stood close to one another, the chief peering out into the ash and smoke, until-

Will had stumbled through the gate bloodied under his nose, tripping on the rubble. "Vecna's gone, but Jonathan's hurt! I can't pick him up on my own, I tried, but El's too drained to help!"

All three had thrown caution to the wind (nothing new there). They'd gone carefully through the gate itself, but dashed after him toward the ruins of the Creel house. Jane was knelt over a prone body, and-

Her knees wobbled.

Jonathan. His shirt-front slick with blood, stretched out like a pieta. Gazing up at El, breathing something as she gripped him, her tears making trails in the grime on his cheek.

Of course. Of course he would try to comfort her.

"*Gasp*-you're gonna be al-*gasp*-right. 'S all gone. You an' Will are-*rasp*-be okay. Find-hnngh-find out what makes you hap-happy. M'kay?"

His breath gurgled in his throat.

El had managed to pull together a watery smile, then glanced up, seeing their rescue party. "Look! They will help us get you out. You will be okay too. You-you just have to stay awake a little longer!"

He'd visibly shaken himself awake, corners of his mouth turning up as his brother had laid his hand on his shoulder. Reassuring someone else again.

Moving him had broken the spell.

"We have to stop the bleeding from these cuts, we need bandages." (Joyce had pressed the shredded remains of her shirt into the chief's hands, a few knotted together into a skein. She'd had to do something with her hands while they waited.)

"This is gonna hurt, kid. And you don't hold it in. Making noise is a way of dealin' with pain.'

They'd met gazes briefly, before Will was lifting Jon's shoulders and Hopper was winding the bandage around his torso. A tiny nod, then the chief pulled it taut, and a wail of agony ripped itself from the boy's chest. Jonathan was insensible for a few seconds, fighting against their hands like a rabbit in a snare, only stilling when Will's fingers began to soothe through his hair. He whimpered, tears rolling into his hairline.

"Shh, it's okay Jon. You're gonna be okay, just let us help you..."

He'd made a guttural noise when they arranged him across their laps, El curled up and watching from one of the jumpseats. Hopper knelt beside him, keeping pressure on as many wounds as his hands could stretch to. Argyle was grim in the driver's seat, following Joyce's directions.

They were almost at the gates when Jonathan's hand had gone limp on top of Will's. The tips of his fingers, dipped, gracefully, to the floor.

A tiny gust of breath had escaped his lips, and those warm brown eyes fixed themselves on a spot far into the distance, and then-

There's a low moan of "God no, not again, please-" and the teary young-man's-voice of Will urging him to "Breathe, Jonathan. Come on-".

Jane is stone-silent and still.

Nancy shuts it out. She shuts it out, because she has to. Has to move, has to fight, has to win, has to survive. To compartmentalise means to live. Maybe it even means he gets to live.

(Her own talent for detachment scares her sometimes. Jonathan is the only one who can break her out of her Frozen-Charlotte state because Barb is-)

Don't think about it don't think about it don'tthinkaboutit-

She seals her mouth over Jonathan's between Hopper's rhythmic pounding on his chest. Watches while the open-and-shut of his ribcage flares and sinks. All the while, she consciously blurs the sound around her. His soft, slightly chapped lips are all she can feel.

The world comes back in a rush, like breaking a swimming pool surface. Her heart gets hauled out of her hands, whisked away on a gurney.

The running mass of people turns the corner, and he's gone.