#alright now to die for work for the next three to four days lmfao

[analogwriting]

Star-Crossed

Chapter 12: Sartse

Donquixote Rosinante x gn!reader word count: 3.6k a/n: i want y'all to know that for a couple of doffy's lines, i pulled it straight from the manga so i had to read THAT scene again and i ugly cried once more. had to step away from the computer and everything lmfao next

The speed in which you were flying into town could’ve instantly killed anyone who stepped into your path; hell you probably could’ve killed someone if they pulled out in front of you in a wholeass car. You made it into town in record time, a time that shouldn’t even be possible for the distance you had traversed. No cops seemed to be out and about to stop you either, which honestly checked out. They were worthless.

Whatever, it came in handy for you at this moment.

Something that no one except Marco knew, was that you had a secret entrance to the hospital that led right into your office - actually, it led to several different places. As someone of your social standing, you had to have a secret entrance/exit. It was important to be able to have a way out and a way in - specifically for situations like this. You had just hoped that you’d never have to use it.

As you were flying down the road, you looked at the security footage through your phone. Again, no one had this access except you and Marco. Sure, you had a security room with someone always monitoring things, but no one had remote access besides the two of you.

You pulled up the footage, trying to see exactly how much damage was being done. It seemed that the front of the hospital was fine; business as usual. It was the secret wing that was mostly taken over aside from a few of their men being posted in scrubs everywhere else. You knew all your employees by name and face, so of course you’d be able to tell who did and who didn’t belong. It looked like they had already let go of all of your underground staff. At least you didn’t have to worry about them.

You looked through the footage as you also kept an eye on the road, trying to find where everyone was being held. There wasn’t really anywhere in the hospital that you couldn’t see, so you knew you’d find them eventually. 

And you did.

They were currently being held in a conference room in the secret wing; everyone being Corazon, Law, Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi. You nearly crashed as you saw Corazon laying there in his blood soaked shirt, not moving. Were you too late? You felt that creeping numbness starting to crawl into your very being. You set your phone down, leaving it open. 

“How long do you think it’s going to take for them to get here? I’m tired of waiting,” Doflamingo complained, folding his arms and sulking as he perched on the table. Oh, you were glad you had cameras with sound - the extra money was worth it.

“Please, let me tend to Corazon’s wounds,” you heard Law plead. The sheer emotion in his voice made you press on the gas pedal even harder, sending you faster. 

“Absolutely not. This is what he gets for betraying me. His life is in y/n’s hands now since he wanted to be with them so bad.” He huffed, shaking his head. “How can someone of your stature fall for someone so weak.” He scoffed.

You clenched your jaw, pressing a button on the visor of your car as you entered an alleyway. A garage opened up and you flew inside.

“He’ll die at this rate!” 

“Let him then! It’s the consequences of his own actions.” 

Your head was spinning. How could someone be so cold to the very people they were supposed to love and protect? You would’ve never guessed that…Anthony was just like him. That they ended up being cut from the same cloth.

“How could you do that to your own family?” 

“If you keep talking, kid, you’ll end up with a bullet wound next.”

You slammed on your brakes next to a door, throwing your car in park and running up the stairs. You had an elevator, but it was going to take too long for you to use it. The staircase grew more and more narrow as you reached the top, ending in a small hallway that broke off into different parts of the hospital.

You navigated the small tunnel before slowly opening a door. It opened silently, the bookcase in your office in the secret wing opening. You snuck through, sticking low to the ground with a gun in hand. You were silent, listening.

You could hear Crocodile somewhere near the entrance to the secret wing talking with whatever cronies he had with him. He was in the opposite direction as Doflamingo, so you should be just fine. You’d have plenty of time before he’d get to the conference room should any problems arise. You took off down the hallway, your footsteps silent - just as you were trained. 

When you reached the conference room, you dropped down again, below the window. You glanced inside, seeing that things have escalated. Doflamingo was pointing his gun at Corazon once more, the man now sat up. Instant relief washed over you as you saw him sitting there - alive. You had been so scared that you were too late.

Though, if you didn’t act fast - he wouldn’t be much longer.

“Why did you come back just to mess with me, Corazon?” Doflamingo demanded. “Why must I be forced to kill my family not once, but twice?” Forced? What the hell did he mean by that? He absolutely isn’t being forced to do anything. Is that what your father also thought? That he was being forced to do the things he did? A stupid lie to tell yourself to justify such terrible actions.

You heard him cock his gun, standing up immediately and taking aim. You shot through the window, shattering the glass. The bullet hit Doflamingo in the hand, making him curse and drop his gun as he cradled his hand. You kept your gun trained on him. “Don’t even think about moving,” you said as he started for his own gun. He stopped, glaring at you through his sunglasses. 

The others looked at you with surprise, staring at you with wide eyes. You heard a chorus of voices cheer for your name, but you were focused on Doflamingo. “Step away from them.” He scowled at you, but stepped away. A grin spread across his face and you opened your mouth to say something when you heard a click of someone loading their gun behind you. You felt the barrel press against your skull. 

“Drop it.” This time it was you that scowled, letting your gun clatter to the ground. Dammit, you didn’t think he’d get here so quickly. Or so quietly. 

“Let me dress Corazon’s wounds,” you ground out. “Then I’ll sign your stupid papers.” 

“Y/n, don’t worry abou-”

“I appreciate your concern, but I have this under control, okay?” You looked at him through the shattered window, smiling warmly at him. He just stared at you with an expression you couldn’t quite discern but you could also tell he was struggling to stay conscious.

“Sign the papers first.”

“Absolutely not.” You felt him press the gun harder against you and you cursed at him. “Fucking-”

You whipped around so fast that he didn’t have time to react, hitting his elbow from the outside and pushing his hand up. Not enough to break it, but just enough to make him let go. You disassembled his gun and threw it to the ground. The same thing you did to Corazon a little over a month ago. “I’m not asking.” 

You weren’t stupid. You knew you were outnumbered, so you weren’t going to try and take the both of them out now. You weren’t going to start a fight - that’s not what you came here for. Saving the hostages, that’s what you were here for.  You looked back, seeing Doflamingo pointing his gun at you, only it wasn’t with his dominant hand, so you knew he wouldn’t be able to hit you correctly. You could just tell with the way it sat uncomfortably in his hand.

“That’s why you should train shooting with both hands. Cause as soon as you fire that gun in your hand, the kickback is going to be too much and you’re not going to hit me.” The pure rage in Doflamingo’s face was honestly comical.

You walked through the door, heading over to the blond man that was currently bleeding out on the ground. He wasn’t sitting up anymore and he looked like he was barely awake. “Just hang in there,” you said softly, pulling out a first aid kit from under the conference table. You had one in every room.

You felt the gun still being trained on you, hearing Crocodile putting the other one back together and picking yours off the ground before pointing it at you. “I’m not going to try anything stupid, you two. So you can get your panties out of a bunch,” you said.

You fumbled around in your fanny pack, grabbing out your small suture kit. You opened up Corazon’s shirt, assessing the damage. You hissed softly through your teeth. He’d been shot in the abdomen, losing a good amount of blood, but you were sure he’d end up being just fine- you could do this.

He spoke as you started applying disinfectant to a rag. “Do you just…carry this stuff-” He was cut off as you began to sanitize his wounds but you paused for a moment. That’s exactly what he had said the second time you had caught him from falling. He let out a weak laugh and it took everything in you not to start crying. Damn it all.

“Don’t talk, Ros. You need your strength.” 

“I think I’ll be just fine with you here now, doc,” he mused softly. You felt heat creeping up your neck. Really? At a time like this? You finished cleaning his wound, clenching your jaw as you were able to really see the damage. It seemed that Doflamingo was close enough when he shot him that it went through him cleanly, so you didn’t need to try and dig the bullet out of him - you were able to immediately start stitching him up.

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep it together. “How is everyone else?” You looked to the boys, who seemed fine aside from looking absolutely scared out of their wits. Marco wasn’t here, so you imagined that they were watching him while he kept an eye on the front side. You didn’t know why they had to bring the boys into this at all. They absolutely had no ties to any of this. They were just adding to their ‘leverage’ at this point. Not only would they be able to control you, but also Corazon. He did use to be in the business, after all. So, he’d be able to fight his way out of this, throw the boys in and he was just like you - compliant.

“We’re fine,” Law said with a nod. “The only one who was hurt was Corazon.” You could see the genuine concern in his eyes, hear the pain in his voice. This was the man’s father essentially, of course he was worried.

“He’s going to be just fine, Law, I promise.” As you were speaking to him, you were still working.

“Where’s the paperwork?” you asked, looking at the two men who were currently pointing guns at you. They just looked at each other and you sighed. “You wanted me here to sign paperwork so one of you go fucking get it.” You sighed harshly.

“You shouldn’t sign it, y/n.” You looked at Corazon, finishing up his front stitches. 

“Turn around,” you said and he obeyed, slowly turning for you as you started to work on his exit wound. “I know what I’m doing,” your voice was low. “I’m going to get the lot of you out of here safely. I promise.” 

“But you worked so hard-” 

“Rosinante, please,” you said softly, feeling your own voice crack. You paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing your work. You already made the decision and came to terms with the fact that you were going to lose your hospital. You could go somewhere else and work. Though, none of the hospitals around here would probably take you. You had snapped at them at that meeting and now none of them want anything to do with you.

Not that you really blamed them, but dammit, now you were going to have to move. It was also the best option. With you out of the picture, everyone would be able to resume their lives as normal. Your last actions with this will be making sure that Corazon and everyone out are able to get out of here safely. You were going to make sure that they’re able to escape the eyes of the families. Just as you did with everyone else. They will be the last ones you are going to be able to help, but at least they’ll be able to get out of here.

You finished patching up the man before you, sighing. “Finished.” Corazon turned to look at you, but you were already standing. You just…couldn’t stand it - all of this was your fault. 

You looked at Doflamingo, who still had a gun trained on you. “One more thing. They all get out of here safely. Away from you. They are not to be followed or tailed. If I find out that they are, the deal is off. Once they’re safe then-”

“Y/n! You can’t-” You ignored Corazon’s pleas, looking at the man before you. “Once they’re safe, then I will sign over the hospital.”

“That’s a large ask,” the man before you said, a shit eating grin spreading across his face. “You already were able to patch up Corazon here before, now you want their safe passage?”

“I think you forget that this hospital is my life’s work. I think that I’m not asking for much, all things considered. This place is a place that even cops won’t look, I think a handful of people who aren’t even involved in things like this to be let go isn’t asking much, right?” 

He opened his mouth to retort when you heard Crocodile’s voice. “Deal. But you will sit here while they leave, got it?” You nodded. “Deal. Also, make sure Marco is provided safe passage as well.” Crocodile nodded. At least he seemed to be willing to work with you.

“Don’t you think you’re giving them too much, Croc?” Doflamingo grimaced and the other shook his head.

“We’re going to get their entire hospital. It’s like they said, a few people who aren’t even involved in things like this is just fine. I know he’s your brother, Doflamingo, but you did just shoot him.”

“Let’s go then,” Crocodile said, looking at Corazon and co. “We don’t have all day. We’ll untie you when we get to the exit.” Everyone slowly stood up. You crouched in front of Corazon, taking his face in your hands. “Please take care of yourself, okay?”

He sputtered for a moment, his face turning red as you held his face. “Are you sure about all of this? We’ll be-”

“Trust me, okay? You guys will be able to get out of here. You’ll be free.”

“Well, what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me - I’ll be fine.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, resting your forehead on his. "Please don't do this," he whispered, but you ignored his words as much as they stung your heart. “Take it easy and heal up, okay? Then make sure you take good care of the boys.” You pulled away from him, looking over at Bepo. “Bepo, since you’re the tallest behind Corazon, will you help him?” 

“Yes, doctor!” Bepo nodded, heading over as you helped Corazon stand. You glanced at Crocodile, gesturing at the man’s restraints and he sighed before nodding. You untied Bepo’s hands and he wrapped an arm around the injured man’s waist. 

You looked at Law. “Make sure he takes it easy, okay? I expect you to take care of him while he heals.” The doctor in training nodded, looking like he wanted to say something. It took him a moment, but he found his words. “Please be careful, doctor. Make sure you look after yourself too.” He paused, realizing what he said.

“I don’t want to deal with a moping Cora if anything happens to you.” He was trying to cover his sentiment, but it was clear. You stood there, stunned for a moment. That was probably the nicest thing you’ve heard him say to anyone ever. Sure, it was covered with a joke, but the sentiment was there. Your face softened and you ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry about me, just take care of your dad for me, yeah?”

“You talk like we’re never gonna see you again.” He grumbled and you tensed for a moment. They just stared at you. “Y/n, what are you-”

“Let’s get going, I don’t have all day!” Crocodile’s voice interrupted.

You stepped away from them, smiling. “Take care of each other and be careful.” Shachi and Penguin looked at you with teary eyes. “We’re gonna miss you, doc,” one said. “Make sure you be careful,” the other chimed. You nodded, shuffling them all towards the door.

“Now, move along before they change their minds.” You were able to finally get them out of the conference room, heading out. You watched as they left with Crocodile, other cronies showing up to assist in the transfer.

You saw Corazon look back at you one more time before they turned the corner out of your sight. Your heart lurched as you saw the concern and yearning in his face. You just hoped that they’d take the opportunity to get out of here. You’d be just fine. Destroyed, but fine.

“Alright, now sign the papers.” You glared over at Doflamingo. “Not yet. They’re not out of here just yet.”

He let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know what you see in him anyway. He’s weak. Though, I suppose it matches with you. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to inherit the power your father possesses. He might be my rival, but I know a man with power when I see it.”

“Not everything is about power and the sooner you realize that - the better.”

Doflamingo laughed and you flinched as it bounced off the walls. He was so loud - and for what? “Power is what took over your hospital, doctor. Power gets you whatever you want. Money, fame, you name it.” 

You shook your head. “I don’t expect a shallow man like you to understand,” you said with a small sigh. He was too drunk with power, money hungry, and dense. 

He grimaced, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not the one losing everything I’ve worked so hard for, now am I?” he mused, grinning. You felt your eye twitch, but you weren’t about to let him see that he was getting to you.

You just ignored him, folding your arms as you waited with a gun pointed to your head.

--

Crocodile eventually returned, looking at you. “They’re out. They’re safe. No one is tailing them.”

“You better be telling the fucking truth. So help me if I find out you’re lying-”

“Cool your jets. I never fuck with a deal.”

You just narrowed your eyes at him before pulling a pen out of your pocket, signing the papers. You slid them towards the man, glaring at the two of them. Doflamingo uncocked his gun, tucking it away. He grinned. “Fucking finally.”

“Can I go now? I have shit I need to do.” You folded your hands across your chest.

“You’re not staying?”

“This is no longer my hospital, why would I?”

“Suit yourself.”

Crocodile looked over the paper in his hands and nodded. “It all checks out. I guess, yeah. You can skedaddle.” You made a face at his word choice, but didn’t do much else except leave the room. They had the hospital, everyone was safe. You didn’t have to worry anymore.

Honestly, none of this felt real. You headed out the way you came, careful that no one saw you. Just because you signed over your hospital, doesn’t mean they got to know everything about it. If they found it out on their own, good for them. Maybe one day you’d figure out a way to get everything back.

You headed down the stairs, feeling like you were floating. You weren’t in your body. Everything felt fake - like a bad dream. Only, you wished you would wake up from this nightmare. You just lost everything. Your family, your livelihood, all of it. Everything was gone.

You stopped as you reached your car, seeing Marco perched on the hood. He looked over at you, standing up. The expression on his face was that of sympathy and worry. Everything hit you all at once and tears started to free fall down your face. The stress finally hit you at the same time that your body finally gave out as adrenaline left. Your knees gave out and Marco caught you in the process, holding you as you ugly cried into him. Your body shook as you sobbed, clutching onto Marco as if he would disappear at any moment as well.

[cheswirls]

short asl thing based on @where-does-the-heart-lie's modern au :) i started this over a year ago but the beginning is all dialogue and felt more like a script to me i suppose??? which deflated my desire to work on it. anyway i checked it over recently and it's completely fine lmfao, self-confidence restored here we go !

-

"Yo. Aren't you usually in the middle of your shift by now?"

"I've been banned from the hospital."

"Like, for life?"

"No. For the next, uh.. Twenty-two hours."

"That's oddly specific."

"It was twenty-four, but I fell asleep after leaving the building."

"That wouldn't have to do with why they kicked you out, at all?"

"Hmmm. I'm too sleep-deprived, apparently."

"Ah. And, um, you called me because...?"

"I pressed a random number in my call log after waking up. Lucky you, I guess."

"Yeah. Right. Lucky me. And your car keys are...?"

"Confiscated."

"Ah, right, of course."

A beat of silence. Two. Three, then "Look, if you're busy, then–"

"No, no.  You called me, so I'll be there. Give me twenty minutes."

"Alright. Thank–"

"Thank someone else. Also, if you fall asleep in my car, I'm taking it as express permission to drive you around wherever I want."

"Ugh, go die. I don't even know why I bothered."

"LUCKY YOU, I guess," sounds off way too loudly in his ear. "No take backs. See you in ten."

"I thought you said–" Sabo breaks off as the call ends, leaving him staring blankly at his phone's too-dim screen. He squints, turns the brightness all the way up, and still squints as the sunlight proves too strong for the display.

Ace shows up in more than ten but decidedly less than twenty minutes. Sabo doesn't waste much brain power on it, only climbing into the passenger seat and yawning into his palm while his other hand fixes the seatbelt into the buckle. Not a second too soon, too, as Ace roars the engine to life and peels away from the curb at record speed.

Ace fiddles with the radio. He turns the music up, then dial it back down to inaudible. They hit the expressway and he leans over the steering wheel, frowning with his eyes fixed on the road far ahead. Sabo yawns again and this appears to be the limit to his patience. 

"Hey, so, I had a thought after you hung up on me."

Sabo grimaces. "You mean you–"

"Today's Wednesday."

He doesn't elaborate. Sabo is too tired to process. "Yes," he follows, after a second. He glances at the sky out the front window. "What time is it?"

"Oh, uh." Ace fumbles with hand placement so he can lift his watch to his face. "Nine forty."

Sabo takes a couple beats to try and process this, moves his eyes away from the skyline, and sighs as he pulls his phone out. 2:47 is what the display reads, which sounds much more believable.

"How did the minute hand get off?" he mutters to himself, chancing a look at Ace's busted wristwatch. Ace raises a brow, taking his gaze off the road to scrutinize Sabo. "No, it doesn't matter," he mutters to himself once more, sliding his phone away back on his person and out of his hands.

"My point is," Ace continues, like he hasn't just been interrupted by a whole thing. "Your timeout will be done midday Thursday. Did they switch your days off?"

"No." Sabo sighs. "They technically gave me the next thirty-six hours. Technically closer to forty. Something like that. I go back in on Friday. Sometime.” He tries to smile and it turns out very lopsided, from that he can make out in the rearview mirror. “Can you tell I’m tired?”

“I don’t think ‘tired’ is an accurate description,” Ace quips. “When did you eat a proper meal last?”

“Uh, yesterday. Maybe.”

“Maybe??”

“A ‘proper meal’ means different things to the two of us,” Sabo huffs. “On my account it was yesterday. I’ve had food since then, of course.”

“Alright, so here’s the plan,” Ace announces before absolutely whipping it around a curve. Sabo is his passenger in the passenger seat and had fully prepared to be so when he got in the vehicle, but he’d been vastly underprepared for this sudden course of action, which is how he ends up halfway out of his seat with his cheek slammed into the cold window. Ace doesn’t quite notice his brother’s terminal velocity until the car is once again on the straight and narrow, and only then it’s because of the audible thunk Sabo’s face makes when it collides with the glass.

“Aw shit. You good bro?”

“Ow,” Sabo mutters. “If I have broken bones I’m suing your ass.”

“Well, if you’re good enough to make jokes, I think you’re better than you’re letting on.” Ace keeps the wheel steady with one knee while he takes both hands away to crack his fingers. When he glances over at Sabo again, he looks even more pathetic – like he’s becoming one with the glass. “Anyway, as I was saying.

“I’m taking your ass home. You’re going straight to sleep and while you crash, I’ll make you something decent to eat and stick it in the fridge for you to heat up later. I’ll even make you two servings to eat two different times, since you clearly can’t be trusted to take care of yourself correctly.”

“Ouch.”

“I want you to conk out for as long as your body allows. We can reset your sleep schedule tomorrow, alright? Put your phone on silent; do not answer any calls. In fact, you know what, just give it to me.

Sabo glances over to see Ace’s hand held out to him, palm up. Fingers wiggling expectantly. His lips pull up into a grimace. “I’m not doing that.”

“Fine.” Ace takes his hand back. “But you will comply with everything else.”

“Wow! It’s so funny, I didn’t realize you turned into my mother overnight! Really tapped into your mom potential, huh? Anything exciting happen in your life that would cause that? I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’ve been a zombie for the past two days.”

“There’s nothing wrong with acting like your older brother, you dipshit, especially if you keep putting yourself through the wringer like this. You go home. You sleep. You wake up and eat. You go back to sleep. Then we do laundry. Does that sound agreeable?”

“That’s negotiable, at the least,” Sabo mumbles. “I will accept good food as a form of bribery.”

“Oh, nice, because I’m flat broke at the moment.”

Sabo makes a mental note of that, and then they’re pulling into the driveway. Ace lets him exit the vehicle by himself and then promptly manhandles him all the way onto the couch where it will be easier to force his body to relax than in a real bed. Ace knows this, so he calls him weird before chucking a loose blanket at his head. Sabo is almost too tired to function at this point, so he lets Ace have the last laugh in favor of finally closing his eyes.

Coming to is a surreal experience, especially since the sun is still out. He must make a noise because Ace is suddenly within view. His limbs are tangled in the blanket and still so heavy that he doesn’t bother moving. “Thought you would be gone,” he half-groans, eyes slipping shut again for a moment.

“I did leave,” Ace confirms. “I had to go pilfer some stuff to make stew with. It’s almost done, so I’ll hang here until then.”

Pilfer. That could mean any number of things. Sabo chooses to believe in the option where Ace is an upstanding citizen, and then remembers Ace saying earlier that he had no money. He frowns and squirms on the cushions enough to where it looks like he’s checking his pockets. “Where’s my wallet, Ace?” he bluffs.

“Somewhere around here,” Ace pipes up. “Your stomach will thank you for your contributions to the Portgas Household’s pantry!”

“Ugh, I got robbed,” he complains. “This sucks. ‘m going back to sleep.” He rolls over so his back is to Ace.

“Yeah, you do you, bro. Stew will still be here later. I’ll see you when you’re back in the world of the living.”

—

Luffy comes in late that night and slams the front door shut as loud as humanly possible. When he appears in the main room, he doesn’t seem to be upset, so Ace writes it off as a Luffyism. Sabo hasn’t stirred at the noise, so it’s all good.

Realizing this, Luffy pads closer to Ace’s side and looks at Sabo’s unmoving body warily. “Why is Sabo passed out like a corpse? Is he sick?”

“No, he’s not sick, he just can’t take care of himself. Which is why we are going to let him sleep for as long as possible.”

Luffy just nods to this, but it’s the uncomprehending Luffy-nod that means he’s just going to end up doing whatever he wants to regardless. Ace sighs, then jerks his head towards the kitchen. “He ate a little earlier, but I want him to eat again when he wakes up. There’s stew in the fridge if you want it – just leave him a little. Got it, Monkey D. Luffy?”

Luffy throws him a salute and then runs off in his socks. “Yippee! Ace made stew!”

“Think of your brother, Luffy, and make good choices!” Ace calls after him. “He’s a pathetic man who needs food to feel better or he’ll end up sleeping through Laundry Day!”

—

Sabo does not sleep through laundry day, but he does sleep for sixteen whole hours, so it’s just around noon when he forces himself up off the couch and into a warm shower.

Ace is around, which is mildly unexpected. But he’s still half-asleep, so everything is at least a little unexpected. He glances up from playing video games with Luffy to see Sabo leaving the steam-filled bathroom with his hair hanging around his shoulders. “You look like a wet cat,” he calls.

“Sabo’s awake!” Luffy cheers. “Ace thought you died at one point.”

Ace elbows Luffy in the gut, making him hunch over. “I did not!”

“He totally checked to see if your heart was still beating!”

“I’m undead, actually,” Sabo says completely seriously.

“Does that mean you don’t need to eat anymore?” Luffy questions. “Because I ate all the stew last night.”

“I saw that coming and made extra.” Ace finger-guns in Sabo’s general direction. “That’s why I bought two sets of ingredients. With your money!”

“With my money,” Sabo echoes, because it’s such a wild statement to have to deal with this early in the day. Well, early for him. “Fuck you.”

“I mean, I can tell Luffy where I hid–”

“Thank you, Ace, for agreeing to share your quarters with both of your brothers so we can all do laundry today on your dime!” Sabo raises his pitch so his voice is mockingly squeaky when he says this. He starts moving down the hall before Ace can start to argue, letting his and Luffy’s voices bleed into the background.

When he comes back out, now dressed, it smells significantly better than before. “I reheated the stew,” Ace announces, gesturing for Sabo to take a seat at the kitchen counter. “Let’s all have lunch before we head out.”

“You have to drink this too,” Luffy tells Sabo, sliding a Gatorade across the counter so it sets in front of him when he finally does take a seat. “Ace’s orders.”

“Gotta get those nutrients back somehow.”

“Aren’t we so considerate, Sabo?”

“Do you even know what ‘considerate’ means?” Sabo asks, lips quirking up into a half-smile. At Luffy’s shrug, it turns into a real smile. “Well, thanks anyway. Both of you.”

“No sweat. And look!” Ace brandishes a five dollar bill for both to see. “I found this baby for us to use on coins! It’s all on me today–”

“Where’s my wallet, Ace?!”

[rather-impertinent]

Girl Next Door chpt. 6

A/N: [’At Last’ by Etta James plays]

Hello friends! Sorry about the wait, I got distracted by canon fanfic! Caroline comes over for a movie night... (me @ me Megan why did you make Dwight a Star Wars nerd you fkn hate Star Wars lmfao)

Dr Dwight Enys’s ears picked up a tapping noise on the door frame. He sat bolt upright and quickly peered around him; he was in his bedroom, his legs dangling off the mattress, fully clothed, with a half-eaten sandwich in his hand.

“What the fu…?” he whispered to himself in groggy confusion. His twelve-hour shift had morphed into an eighteen-hour one as several car crash victims had to be stabilised before surgery, and all nine of them had been rushed in just as he was about to clock off. He had gone to Tesco to pick up a sandwich for lunch on his way home, but he had evidently fallen asleep after two or three bites. He threw the now hard and stale sandwich into the bin, silently lamenting the food waste. The knock on the door came again, though more firmly this time.

He glanced at his alarm clock, which informed him it was 8:17 pm. “Just a minute!” Dwight called as he swapped his smart trousers and shirt for pyjama trousers and a band t-shirt. He walked the short distance from his bedroom to the front door and pulled it open without checking the peephole.

“Caroline!” he said in surprise, his mood instantly picking up. She stood in front of him in pyjamas, her hair worn up in a messy bun, with a Tesco carrier bag in her hand.

She looked him up and down, admiring him in his casual clothes, thinking she’d never seen him in anything other than scrubs or a shirt and tie. “Hi,” Caroline greeted, with a smile forming on her face. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” She bit her lip hesitantly, which Dwight found very distracting.

“No, no,” he lied quickly. They both smiled shyly at one another. “Come in,” Dwight invited, holding the door open for her as she sauntered by him and straight into the living room.

She gracefully sat herself down and waited for him to join her. She cleared her throat slightly. “So, Dr Enys, I thought I would test your theory. I went to Tesco and bought Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, and it was even on sale!” She pulled the brand-new DVD out of the bag and displayed it.

A confused smile spread across Dwight’s face. “You want to watch Star Wars?”

She shook her head. “No, you see, I don’t want to watch Star Wars. What I want to do is prove you wrong by getting to see how truly shit it is for myself,” she explained, her light eyebrows raised in their usual taunting way.

Dwight ripped the plastic wrapping off the DVD cover and opened it. “You’re on.” About halfway through the film, Caroline’s stomach began to whine loudly, so much so that Dwight paused the movie, shooting her a somewhat concerned glance. “Are you okay?”

Her cheeks reddened slightly. “Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I just kind of forgot to eat dinner,” she laughed, hiding her face behind her hand. She had been working all day; the café hosted a kids’ birthday party from 4 pm until 7:30 pm and she had been so excited all day to show Dwight the DVD that she went straight from her flat to his after she’d gotten changed from work earlier.

“Me too,” he admitted sheepishly. How were they both adults? Dwight reached for his phone, a brilliant idea forming in his head. “Dominos,” he sang, opening up the app and immediately placing his saved favourite pizza into the basket. He handed Caroline his phone. “Here, pick whatever you want.”

She accepted the phone with slight hesitation. “Are you sure? These look expensive.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s 2 for Tuesdays anyway,” he explained.

Caroline furrowed her brows. “What’s that?”

“What do you mean?” Dwight asked her incredulously as if everyone in the entire world should know of the famous buy-one-get-one-free pizza chain deal. “You’ve never had a 2 for Tuesdays?”

“I’ve never had a Dominos,” she admitted somewhat shyly. “It may surprise you to know that I don’t actually eat fast food very often.”

Dwight looked her slim frame up and down. “Oh, right,” he chuckled. “Well, still, you need to eat something,” he insisted.

“If I get this pizza with all the vegetables on it that still counts as being healthy, right, Dr Enys?”

Dwight’s laugh bounced off the walls of his flat. “I have done that myself more times than I care to admit!”

Caroline fiddled with his phone for another moment and then handed it back to him with an amused smile. He placed their ordered and swore at his iPhone when the estimated delivery time said 65 minutes. It was Tuesday, though. But still.

By the time the seventh Star Wars movie was over, there was still no sign of their pizzas, but the film had gotten quite exciting and so both of them had been suitably distracted from their hunger pangs.

After humming along to the theme tune for at least ten seconds, Dwight pressed stop on the film. “So, Miss Penvenen,” Caroline’s mouth twisted at the use of her formal name, “What did you think?”

She briefly hummed in consideration, fiddling with some loose bits of hair that had fallen out of her messy bun. “It was good. I liked it,” she lied. Dwight saw through this and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Caroline scrunched her face at him. “Well, I liked your enthusiasm – very much so,” she amended with a small smile, having enjoyed watching Dwight watch the movie more than watching the actual thing itself.

Dwight smiled in return, and before he could even filter the words through his tired brain, he whispered, “I like you very much, too.”

Caroline, for once in her life, was utterly tongue-tied. Not able to think of anything to say, she – for some unbeknownst reason – leaned over and kissed him. Dwight responded eagerly, gently cupping her face with his hand. Just as Caroline had deepened the kiss and placed her hand on his chest, the door buzzer hissed loudly. They broke apart instantly, and stared at each other, both somewhat breathless. The air in the room crackled around them.

Caroline blinked, not quite sure what was going on. The door buzzer rang three times this time, the delivery driver obviously impatient. “Oh! That must be the pizza; I’ll get it!” She practically fell off the sofa in her bid to retrieve their takeaway, or rather, in her bid to escape the situation she had now landed herself in. Sure, she didn’t mind kissing Dwight. It was nice. More than nice. But it’s not like she’d been lying awake at night thinking about doing it since their night out several months ago. Pffft. 

As soon as Caroline turned her back to answer the door, Dwight could hear Ross Poldark’s voice in his head yelling ‘who gives a fuck about the pizza? Why didn’t you stop her?’ and calling him a twat amongst other profanties. Did that really just happen? Had she really just kissed him? He wiped his face and took a gulp from his glass of water, hoping it would cool his body heat.

When she returned, balancing their pizzas on her palms, Dwight held up his Star Wars DVD boxset to her. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Do you want to watch one of the originals? I already have all of them, obviously.”

Caroline placed the pizzas down on the table and firmly shook her head. “No, because then you’ll really have to go and buy an Ouija board to communicate with me because I’ll die of boredom!” She snapped her fingers, an idea coming into her head. “Ooh let’s watch Titanic instead, I’ve not seen it for ages!”

Dwight’s cackle at her clever joke quickly morphed into an exasperated groan. “Oh, my god, you are such a girl!” He took three large bites of pizza to give him enough energy to spend the next three hours of his life watching a chick flick, as though he hadn’t already seen this movie – and cried watching it – about half a dozen times.

Caroline, too, took a bite of her vegetable-laden pizza. “Well, with your caramel mochas you’re already halfway there yourself!” She covered her mouth with her hand so that her half-chewed bite of pizza wouldn’t become exposed as she laughed at him.

“Oh, will you just let that go?” he whined as he polished off another slice. He didn’t realise how hungry he was.

She grinned at him, pizza sauce around the edges of her lips. “Never!”

Dwight inhaled another slice of pizza, finishing it in just four bites, and closed the lid of his pizza box. He sank back into the sofa and selected Titanic on Netflix as per Caroline’s request. “Fine. But shut up now, your shitty romance film is starting,” he teased, nudging her arm with his own.

Caroline nudged him back and abandoned her pizza; sweeping her feet up onto the couch and involuntary leaning into Dwight’s side. “Oh, my god, I’m already going to cry, I swear. The real footage gets me every time!”

Dwight automatically wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as he had done many times before when comforting a patient or one of their family members. “Awww,” he chuckled, finding her shining, sympathetic eyes adorable, “it’s alright.” His hand froze momentarily in panic as he realised what he’d done. He resumed gently stroking the area with his thumb and rejoiced when she didn’t pull away or question it. If anything, he swore he felt her lean in closer.

They sat in comfortable silence as the characters discussed ‘The Heart of the Ocean’ necklace. Caroline said after a while: “You know, I never cared for that necklace. It’s too big; it looks kind of awkward. But I’ve always wanted one of those big, beautiful hats that Kate Winslet wears in this movie. It would be so cool to walk around wearing one!” Dwight couldn’t help but smile at the animation in her voice. “I’ve always kind of wanted to wear trousers with braces, why we did ever stop dressing like that?” He wondered out loud. “Everyone looks so smart - even the poor people!”

She examined him up and down, her close proximity and scrutinising gaze made him feel somewhat nervous. “Hmm. You’d suit braces; you should buy some,” she told him with a seemingly noncommittal shrug while she tried to rid her mind of the image of Dwight in smart trousers with braces.

“Maybe I will.” He flashed a smile at her before returning his focus to the movie with a certain degree of difficulty. He hesitated slightly but ultimately felt the thing had to be said, “You know, I actually really fucking hate the start of this movie. Can we just skip ahead until we get to the flashback?”

She let out an excited gasp, jumped out of the grip of his arm and then hit the limb repeatedly in agreement. “Oh, my God, yes! Thank you! No one ever understands when I say that!”

Satisfied, he fast-forwarded the film to Kate Winslet’s first appearance in the movie. He placed the remote control on his somewhat untidy coffee table before clutching his calf muscle. “Ow, ow, shit! Cramp. Ow. Shit. My leg. Ow.” He hissed and rubbed the offending muscle and removed his legs from where they were resting casually on the table.

Caroline looked at him in alarm. “Uh, here, rest your legs on the sofa.” She shuffled away from him slightly, much to his dismay.

He held up his hand to dismiss her worry. “No, no, it’s fine. My legs are too long anyway, they’ll take up the whole couch, and you’ll have nowhere to sit!” He huffed a laugh.

She considered this for a moment, biting the inside of her cheek. “Well, why don’t we lie down? Then there’ll be room for both of us,” she offered lightly, despite the ongoing calculations in her head.

Dwight blushed and prayed that his flat was dark enough to disguise it. “Sure, why not?”

Caroline casually lay on her side in front of Dwight, and as he resumed the movie and put the remote control back on the coffee table, Caroline gently caught his arm and held it across her mid-rift. She was quite impressed by her boldness.

Dwight was completely tongue-tied but thankfully the poker scene – one of his favourites – was on and so he had something to focus on other than the fact he had his arm around Caroline, and that she had put it there herself. And here he was, a twenty-eight-year-old man, with his heart racing like a fourteen-year-old boy.

‘Somebody’s life’s about to change – Fabrizio?’ ‘Niente.’

“Niente,” Dwight and Caroline repeated simultaneously, causing them both to giggle.

“Nice Italian accent,” Dwight complimented.

Caroline looked over her shoulder, an amused smile on her face. “I was just about to say the same thing to you, Dr Enys.”

She shivered as she moved, and Dwight frowned at the goose-bumps that formed on her arms. “Oh, are you cold?”

She laughed slightly. “Yeah, a little. Could you grab my bag so that I can get my blanket? I think it’s just at your feet.”

Dwight’s face scrunched in confusion, and he breathed a laugh. “You brought a blanket over?” She sat up and looked at him as though bringing a blanket everywhere was the most everyday thing a person could do. “Why?” he asked as he passed her the reusable bag-for-life.

“Do you have a blanket?” she asked in return as she accepted the proffered bag.

Dwight opened and closed his mouth. “Well, no, but–”

“Exactly,” she gloated with a smile, tugging the large, fleecy pink cover out of the bag. She settled back onto the sofa and began unfolding it; pausing to take Dwight’s hand and rest it where it had previously been, motioning for him to lie back down.

Dwight obliged without complaint, and slightly tightened his hold on her. He could only see the back of her head, but he swore he felt her smile. He sighed happily, relaxing into their position. Caroline wordlessly flung some extra blanket over her shoulder to ensure Dwight had enough. He didn’t want to think about how much of Horace’s hair was probably on it, but he wrapped it over his shoulder anyway. It was very fluffy.

Too fluffy, in fact, he realised when he woke up on the couch four hours later, with the DVD menu playing in a continuous loop. Caroline was fast asleep; her eyelashes fanned out above her cheekbones, her lips parted as she breathed quietly.

Should he wake her? He really should wake her, right? But she looked so peaceful – and annoyingly beautiful. Plus, she might be mad if he woke her up. She definitely seemed like the type of person to be annoyed if anyone disturbed their sleep. Yeah, he would just leave her. He glanced at the clock on the wall which told him it was 4 am. He didn’t know if she was working later, so he held his breath and gently sat up, reaching over her to get his phone on the coffee table. Miraculously, she didn’t seem to register that he’d moved at all. Despite the light of his mobile phone initially assaulting his retinas and making him momentarily blind, he managed to set an alarm for 6 am, which would give her enough time to get ready if she had a shift in the morning. Satisfied, he put his phone back down and slowly resumed his position on the couch, pausing to turn the TV off which then plunged the room into darkness.

The change of lighting seemed to rouse Caroline, and she stirred her legs. Dwight carefully shuffled a bit so that he was lying down again. Caroline turned over and slid an arm over Dwight’s torso, before gently resting her head on his chest. “Mm, night,” she mumbled, still mostly asleep.

What was going on? Was he dreaming? He would have to ask Demelza about this on Sunday; maybe she could give him some advice. But for now, he was going to go back to sleep. And cuddle into Caroline, that too.

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Rec This Thing: Interactive Introverts

Interactive Introverts in Amsterdam RAI, evening show on June 2nd

Story: Dan and Phil decided to give the people what they want.

My Story: Okay, fun fact, I bought my ticket on June 1st. When they first announced their tour, my friend Sammy immediately bought tickets for her and her sister and she asked me to come along.

I declined.

After all, I wasn’t that big of a fan of Dan and Phil and I decided that people who are actual fans of them could have my possible ticket. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I became fan of them and both shows were sold out. Yup. Bummer. Instant regret. Total sadness. So Sammy promised to tell me everything yada yada since I couldn’t go. Then just over 24 hours before the show, Sammy sent me a message that there were five seats left for €55.

Crap.

Okay, I decided to do it. Fuck work the day after. Let’s go. And boy, am I glad I did.

Rating (1 to 10): 9

Why?: QUITE DETAILED SHOW SUMMARY UNDER CUT, SPOILERS!

Alright, yup, I’m just going to write down everything, including the entire show. Or at least what I remember cause holla, this is done from memory.

Basically, we arrived in Amsterdam after a lot of panic because my bus didn’t drive so we were about to miss our train. I ran back home and yelled to mum to grab the car (called Snuit) cause HOLY FUCK MY BUS IS 6 MINUTES LATE AND WITH THE NEXT BUS I WILL MISS MY TRAIN FOR SURE.

But okay, Amsterdam. We got there around four? First we checked out the venue, which wasn’t hard to find because their matinee show had just ended, so we just had to follow the stream of fans who were leaving, and then we had dinner at this Japanese place. Then around 18:30 we were back at the venue. Only VIP was allowed to go in already, so we decided to buy merch. The place was packed, so they decided to already open the merch stand. Good thing we got merch (I got a poster) before the show, because other merch was sold during intermission and after the show. Almost no one got merch during intermission, because it was only 20 minutes long, and after the show the line was insane. Probably 2,5+ hours wait time.

We found our seats. We got split up. Sammy and her sister had a great seat (row 9) and I sat on the other side of the theatre in a balcony seat which was fucking great as well. They put on Dan’s playlist and that playlist was banging. Sometimes, Dan’s Siri interrupted. I mean, they were playing Hard Times when I entered the theatre- great start. 

And of course they came on stage after Welcome To The Black Parade.

First we had a video kinda introducing danis not on fire and AmazingPhil and then they came in on a moving plaform. Like, their set was so minimalistic but also so great?

After the “Hello! Hi!” stuff they talked about being in Amsterdam (”Amsterdamn” - Phil) and how Phil is feeling a bit sick because he decided to eat tons of stroopwafels (strupwaffles, they called it). Dan called him out, because when you buy a pack of stroopwafels, they are obviously not supposed to be eaten at the same time.

Oh, and those poor foreigners aren’t used to shit ton of bikes in Amsterdam (or in the entire Netherlands tbh) so they were talking about how they almost got killed by bikers while crossing the road. 

They were obviously telling us what to expect and all of that.

Then first, What are we not going to do. They acted out everything they were not going to do. I only remember the erotic roleplay, because they did cop roleplay and it was fucking hilarious (”Please be gentle with those handcuffs, I have sensitive skin” - Dan), and the part where they dressed up as their cute pastel versions.

Truth Bombs came next. Phil got asked something among the lines of: “What Olympic sport would Phil excel in?”

Keeping houseplants alive

I forgot.

SPORTS??? LMFAO!

(If anyone’s reading this… if you happen to know the missing parts cause you were at the same show, hit me up.)

Phil said something about how avoiding bikes in Amsterdam is a sport and then he procceeded to jump over the small hexagon on stage. He chose the houseplants.

Dan’s question was: “What is in Dan’s browser history?” 

Fursuits (I think???)

I also forgot.

Something with Shrek 

Which was ironic, because Shrek the Musical played at the RAI. I don’t remember what Dan chose.

Then, “How will they die?” 

Demonetization

They fall off stage in a few minutes

I forgot….

Honestly, they kept talking about demonetization during the entire show. Every time they said something too raunchy, they’d say something like “We’re getting demonetized.”

I think the Simulator came next? Anyway Phil started out with ordering a unicorn frappuchino and he ended up being killed by Satan cause he tried make a deal with him to restore his twitter account after accidentally posting a sexy photo of himself in his pants. We cheered for Satan, and they kept reminding us of that during the entire show. 

Dan was outside for once and got approached by a furry, did body shots of an otter, and ended up dying in an underground furry rave after he decided to use the ladies’ restroom.

After that, Phil synced us all as Linda, so hooray, we were all Linda. Now as Linda, we could continue to the magic trick and the audience participation. What is hidden in the mysterious box that Dan hid under his bed? Our three answers were: cereal, a panda, a fursuit. 

I still don’t know how they did this trick. The box was unopened on stage all the time. Sammy and I first came up with this special electronic paper, but then we realised Phil gave it to audience members to rip it up and fight about it.

I only remember three questions asked during the Survey. There was apart about their favourite content and Dan was very happy to present it as a pie chart. Also “Do you think you know Dan and Phil?”

Yes

No

Who is Dan and Phil?

After joking about how all the parents answered the last answer, they noticed a small percent still answered no, and they talked about authenticity on YouTube and sure, they put themselves out there because they want to entertain people, but that they are still genuinely themselves and that they’re not faking it. But if you wanted to see the non-entertaining version of them, you’d be bored. (”On my sofa, with an overheated laptop on my crotch and a bag of crisps under my chin and me trying to eat them with my tongue cause I’m lazy” - Dan).

Then, of course the “Dan or Phil?” question and they presented the wheel and they made the most dramatic act one exit I’ve ever seen, and I am a Broadway fan.

During intermission, the two women next to me were talking about merch and I told them where to find it. Then I exited the theatre. Sammy’s sister bought Pringles and I bought M&Ms and the three of us were kinda shocked to see the queue for the merch stand. Those poor fuckers.

We went back to the theatre and I talked about the merch again, because I happened to know the whole merch stand and its prices by heart after looking at it for 45 minutes (hoodie €40, sweater €30, wristband €5, poster €10, Dan and Phil plushies €25, denim jacket €65, two t-shirts €20 and €25, keycord or whatever it is called €10, cap €15, woops I still know it).

Back to the show! Phil was on the wheel and Dan used a slingshot, a bow and arrow, and a bazooka. And afterwards Phil was showing off his ass while taking off that white body suit. He said he was dizzy and Dan dared him to jump over the hexagon again, but Phil refused.

Okay anyway the next thing I remember is the wholesome Daniel and X-Rated Lester part (”I’m already feeling naughty” - Phil). In the beginning they had this whole talk about authenticity and how they are still humans bla which was really cool. Since I am a recent fan, I completely missed the actual wholesome Daniel craze, but yeah, they talked about how they are actual people and sometimes, they don’t meet certain expectations of fans.

Also, at one point in the show, Dan was talking about God and he yelled “Spite me, daddy!” and I think it was around this moment. The entire crowd yelled.

Alright Dan had to sweet talk disturbing fan fiction, Hello Internet, and another thing uuuuhm. I don’t remember. Anyway, he kept saying “Oh for God’s sake!”, especially at the Hello Internet one.

Phil had to bad mouth cute animals, endless kittens (he failed), and ugh I have also forgotten his last one. The person who sent in cute animals sat in front of me and it was just absolutely amazing to see how happy she was to see her submission on screen.

Then the Dan vs. Phil friendship game. There was a lot of stuff, but I remember some. I can’t believe they shocked each other, but maybe that is because I’d read the Milgram Experminent earlier that week.

First, psychic connection. They both had to name the same number between 1 to 20 and they failed. 

Then a dilemma. Dan got the dilemma: “Guest star in Infinity War 4 or Phil gets thrown in a pool of cheese?”

Phil had to choose between: “A billion dollars or Dan will never be able to see dogs again?” According to Phil, he’d buy two big airplanes and then merge them together for an ever bigger airplane.

Then the Dan or Phil or Rat. They both got it right. Phil just got a photo of something white, but he guessed that it was his own pale skin and Dan got some hairs and he guessed that it was a rat.

Trivia. Dan needed to name 3 pre-2008 Phil videos and succeeded. Dan thanked Phil for uploading his newest video about his his old deleted stuff. Phil needed to recall the kind of cake that Colin ruined and failed.

There was probably more to Dan vs. Phil but I am blanking. Phil got the big shock (”I’m Phil trash no. 1!″ - Dan).

Then the intimate moment. Or personal. Phil called it intimate and Dan just went “PERSONAL? DON’T CALL IT INTIMATE, IT’S PERSONAL” and then proceeded to point out that Phil has a degree in English language.

It was just so down to earth. There were three questions, and I remember two. The first person asked for an appropriate name for their zoo animal YouTube channel. I forgot the name they recommended, but they said it was great that this person had a clear theme.

I remember one person saying that she wants to be a singer but her parents want her to go into medicine and well first they were like “hey singing doctor!”. But they talked about how passion is important and how they both didn’t do what was expected and how they are much happier now (“Lawyer Dan is as awful as a singing doctor!” - Dan) but I unfortunately forgot the other two questions. It was just a really nice moment where both Dan and Phil just sat down to have a chat. Oh and they also talked about Phil’s apparent awful handwriting.

Then the power came back on and I think that is when the Awards happened? Glitter jackets af and a self-made statue (”Two naked men in bondage really represents Dan and Phil” - Phil, or something like that.)

The first category was: Best dressed pet as Dan and Phil.

A lizard wearing a flower crown while watching the video of Black Parade won.

A cat wearing Dan’s merch.

I don’t even know but it looked like Dan was riding Phil so that was that. I suppose it was a dog.

And then Most inaccurate expectation of the show

I fucking forgot first place.

Two hour long Hamilton reenaction with Chris Evans.

Them giving birth on stage.

Also the most annoyed parent was just incredibly funny. I remember the winners but hey I don’t feel comfortable just sharing their names cause… privacy. I know the winner sat on the second row and all kids were pointing at her and I guess Dan and Phil saw her and said: “This was probably the worst day of your life, thank you for sharing it with us!” “You probably thought you were seeing Shrek the Musical.”

And then back to the scripted part, aka the Big Finale. A dog video that has nothing to do with the show, PHIL’S DISS TRACK, Dan at the piano, and them singing a duet. This ain’t Broadway, but it was still kinda nice and just sweet.

And well, that is it. They runned around on stage, waving at everyone, saying goodbye. Then they stepped on their moving platform and they disappeared.

Some random things:

Phil kept calling a part of the set a “flap” which annoyed Dan.

Dan… just… couldn’t… stop… dabbing…

They hinted at a new gaming video that involves a lot of Dan’s screaming - coming next week.

So many pride flags in the crowd.

Phil and Dan sounds wrong.

There was one moment where a picture of Dan’s had pasted on a horse from My Horse Prince appeared with a text bulb saying “Ride me, senpai” but I don’t remember when that happened. I think before the Simulator?

Interactive Introverts kind of reminded me of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. There’s clearly a format and a script, but thanks to audience participation, no shows are the same.

But in all seriousness, as my friend Rowan @rothetree pointed out, the entire message of this show was about how Dan and Phil are just human. As Ro put it: “On a serious note, there’s a whole underlying theme to this show, which was them basically going “Hey, we’re real people, stop objectifying us"”. This felt so in line with what the three of us were talking about. Me, Sammy and Sammy’s sister had to endure a two hour train ride and we talked a lot about fandom’s perception on real life people they stan and how they sometimes reduce those people to the image they have in their minds.

Cause we were talking about stuff like real life shipping, and about how celebrities are being seen, and how the moment they do something the fans don’t like, you get all those moments of “X is not real anymore!”

Newsflash asshole, they are people with feelings, and just because you don’t want to see those feelings, doesn’t mean they don’t have them. For example, Sammy was talking about how one K-POP star basically got stalked at an airport and when he clearly showed his dislike of it, people were all “OH MY GOD HE DOESN’T LIKE HIS FANS HE IS SO RUDE HE’S NOT WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS” and I gave the example of people saying Darren is “no longer himself” after he called out the people who are seriously threatening his fiancée and all that stuff.

Before the show started, we overheard two other fans talking about how they should come out bla bla bla, and just… no? That is so personal and we are not entitled to that at all? 

To quote Ghostly, they are not our dolls. We can’t dress them up in whatever way we want.

I recently read I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman, which follows a band from the fans’ POV and through the band’s POV and how sometimes those things clash, and I feel like with Interactive Introverts, Dan and Phil wanted to show people who they are to avoid a clash like that. That’s why they kept talking about how they value authenticity, while they are aware of the fact that they are also putting on a show. Or how, when people have certain images of them, how unrealistic those images can be and that they cannot live up to the expectations, and therefore it is important for fans to realise that. The tagline is: “Giving the people what they want!” and they did that without having to change for the fans’ sake.

As Rowan (rothetree, not Rowan from the book I Was Born For This) said: "we don’t own their image or expect too much from them. Something about their interactions with us is changing in a really good way."

Because that exactly.

Since I am a recent fan and I got my ticket one day before the show, I wasn’t aware of the questions, but in the “Do you think you know Dan or Phil?” (as they said: or do you think we’re people putting up a whole show) I would’ve answered a solid “no”, because I always think it’s dangerous to say that you know a celebrity, but after this show, I’d vote “yes”, because the way they acted on stage and the way they conveyed their message of “yes, we’re putting on a show right now because we want to entertain you guys, but we still care about authenticity” was well done.

And that is what made this show so great and enjoyable. Yes, it was a show and there were scripted parts, but it was still very genuine.

Recommend?: Yes, please, just like TATINOF, put it online for sale!

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )