#also I can’t believe I’m only on season two this series feels like a fucking odyssey

[selchielesbian]

I hate Christopher from the Sopranos so much. Adriana ditch this loser and get with a real man (me)

[uhnoobuhhs]

My thoughts on these last two episodes:

Though things seems to have gone back to what they were, I believe they are also completely different at the same time.

Because although being a vampire was Guillermo’s dream, I think in the years he’s spent with the vampires, the main reason he wanted to be turned was so he could be considered a valued part of the team

He wanted the vampires to see him like family, to care about him the way he does for them.

And that’s come true, all the vampires care and love and worry for Guillermo now.

They all demonstrated this in their own different ways this season:

from Laszlo actively trying to help Guillermo, showing up at his motel to apologize for not being as helpful (which was actually very sweet of him) to that final scene with Derek

to Nadja taking Guillermo to the vet and protecting him from being harmed

To Colin stopping by the motel to give Guillermo a farewell gift.

They all were worried about him. They all didn’t want him to get killed, that’s why they kept his secret despite knowing how hurt and upset Nandor would be. It’s such a three sixty from the beginning of the series. The found family vibes really made me want to cry in the best way.

(But since I am a huge nandermo shipper I saved my Nandor points for last because I’m gonna dive in DEEP)

I knew that we wouldn’t get a love confession this season, I believe that Guillermo will either be turned into a vampire in a last ditch effort to save his life (hopefully by Nandor)

Or he’ll eventually change his mind and ask Nandor again to be turned and I think if he were to ask again (after everything that’s happened) I think Nandor would do it if he believed Guillermo was sure.

Guillermo did mention to Nandor at the fake ceremony that he really still wanted to be a vampire. (So who knows I wanna keep hope alive)

But overall, I loved this season.

We got a rare peak behind the curtain at Nandor.

He not only deeply cares for Guillermo and can’t imagine losing him but he also knew all along that Guillermo was not ready to be a vampire.

(Remember that scene in s3 where Nandor tells Guillermo that vampirism is a curse? And that he cared too much about him to do that to him?)

The fact that Nandor memorized Guillermo’s letter to him when they first met just speaks volumes about how much he actually loves Guillermo.

Nandor has grown so much this season, it was so refreshing to see. I mean all those self help books really paid off. Cause, not only did he set his own hurt feelings aside and forgave Guillermo despite how important loyalty and honor are to him but

he also didn’t act impulsively when it came to Guillermo transitioning. He let Guillermo experience vampirism and observed his reactions and emotions before stepping in.

(I hope we continue to see more character growth like this and that hopefully in s6 we finally get some romantic plot for these two because fuck I’m in too deep to quit this show/ ship lol)

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

[wolfofansbach]

Personal thoughts and meditations upon the occasion of the Riverdale series finale. 

Probably like four people are going to read this but I feel compelled to write it out anyway. This show has genuinely been a massive part of my life. I watched the first episode because some high school friends encouraged me to (IRONICALLY, BRO). I was in high school when I started this show. Those friends of course long ago fell away, unable to continue, unable to wacth anymore, but I have kept the faith. All seven seasons. Every. Single. Episode.

I’m not even entirely sure what captivated me so much about the show. I loved the atmosphere of season 1. I genuinely wanted to find out who killed Jason Blossom. Was genuinely fucked up by episode 1 x 12 and the first season finale.

I have such fond memories of watching the first season. I distinctly remember a road-trip I Tok with my friends the summer of 2017, and joking about  maple syrup drug empires and the “weirdo” line back when that was the wildest scene on the show. Joking about how sick of the song ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons (2017) we were. 

And then I decided to get involved in a fandom for the first time in a couple of years, and so I revived my old Tumblr, and I began Posting. And reading posts.  

That was my last summer after high school and I was so nervous about college but this show and this fandom helped me get through it. My freshman year I lived in a dorm, and if you wanted to watch TV you had to go down to this common room, so every Thursday I would go down there like an hour ahead of time and occupy the place to make sure the remote was in my hands by 7 PM. A few times I failed, and I missed an episode because of it. But rarely! 

I remember that slowly dawning feeling as season 2 progressed. Scrolling my Tumblr feed and slowly seeing people come to the realization: “wait…is it just me or does this show actually suck.” Was kind of frustrating at the time, realizing that the writers just like…were bad, but in retrospect? Beautiful. Incredible. Legendary. 

And you could even say that’s where the fun really began. Yes, there’s plenty to hate, but also Riverdale is brilliant. The show of all time. For real. No other show has done it like Riverdale. They just haven't, and they never will. The age of the cable television teen drama is ending, and what a hell of a last hurrah Riverdale has been.

The Red Circle. Jingle Jangle. The Gargoyle King. Edgar Evernever and his fantastic rocket. Bret Weston Wallis and Donna Sweett (genuinely cannot say their names without giggling). Jughead getting hit in the head with a rock and faking his death for like…some reason? I genuinely can’t remember, something to do with the Hardy Brothers idk. Tabitha sprinkling the devil with the tears of the Virgin Mary. The normies can laugh all they want about “epic highs and lows” but do they remember the even funnier lines like “if there’s no wedding, that means the gargoyle king has won” or “word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance…” THEY NEVER WILL. ONLY THE TRUE FAITHFUL UNDERSTAND. 

And is silly as it all was, I have genuine affection for these characters. Like Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Archie, Cheryl, Toni, actually mean a lot to me. YES they’re fake but I want the best for them (and for Beronica to be canon but you know we can’t win them all). I’m genuinely grateful that this show has existed and been a part of my life for the past six years. 

Moreover, I credit this show for seriously getting into writing. I’ve actually written almost a million words of Riverdale fanfiction. Much of it will never see the light of day, but it exists. Maybe I even have one or two left in me, I don’t know. At the very least I’d like to finish a few uncompleted fics. But I’ve also branched out. Since I started seriously writing in 2017, I’ve also finished several original manuscripts, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll get one published. Stranger things have happened. 

So, thanks Roberto.

And thanks to all of the very cool people I’ve run into in this fandom. I honestly wish I’d gotten to know most of you better, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully this isn’t weird but I’m going to tag a few people in particular. 

@village-skeptic. I know you’re not in the fandom anymore (lucky you), but thank you for, once upon a time, reading every one of the 200,000+ words of a 17-year-old kid’s turgid, indulgent, Riverdale Spanish Civil War fan fiction. I never, ever would have finished that story without you, and I credit it with giving me the confidence to keep writing, and in fact to write everything I’ve written since then. You’re brilliant and awesome. 

@satelliteinasupernova. Thank you for also reading Interbellum (are we noticing a pattern), and more importantly for all of your wonderful drawings. INCLUDING fanart of some of my fics. You have no idea how happy that Strange Death of Elizabeth Cooper piece made me. You rule. 

@sullypants. You were a perennial presence on my feed. Always wonderful to see. I love your taste in art, and I love those ‘penguin classics’ covers you made for a few of my fics. Thank you also for beta reading a few fics for me back in the glory days. And thank you for chatting with me a couple times over the years, including a few times when I was in quite unhappy places. 

@stillhidden. I’m not sure if we’ve ever actually talked, but you like or reblog everything I post and it makes me feel like I’m not just shouting into the void. Same goes for @frauleinfunf Thank God for dutiful mutuals. 

@sonyascomet. I can’t remember when I started following you but you have a really good sense of humor. And I’ll always remember when you kept posting about “Greg” for Succession and I, not knowing anything about Succession, kept imagining Greg Heffley. 

@stillhidden thank you for your world-weary Riverdale posts. You truly understand fandom like few others.

@halcooper. Your devotion to the neglected parents of Riverdale is truly admirable. Every time I see Lochlyn Munro in some weird low budget horror movie I’ll think of you.

I hope I didn’t forget anyone who would be offended by my forgetting, but I doubt it. 

All this to say this show has been a genuinely huge part of my life for six years. SIX YEARS. I graduated college, my God. I wish I could say I became a millionaire or a successful author in that time, but nah. Maybe one day, but for now I’m just kind of vibing. And unfortunately, I’ll have to vibe without Riverdale from now on. 

But as I sit myself down to watch the very last episode of this show, I remind myself that we’ll always have the memories. And I’ll always be an unapologetic Riverdale enjoyer. As a great man once said, snakes don’t shed their skins so easily. 

[georgiapeach30513]

That September Night, Part 1

Summary:   Unlucky in love, you go against everything you have ever believed, and signed up for The Bachelor.  You didn’t want to, but didn’t want to miss out on the experience.  You didn’t expect the bachelor to be the ridiculously handsome Nick Vaughan.  Didn’t expect an instant connection.  But you also weren’t prepared for the drama, the anger, the hate, the worry, the constant cameras, or Nick’s need to steal you away from the cameras any chance he could.

Pairings:  Nick Vaughan X Reader

Rating:  fluff

Warnings:  mild language, the start of gossip, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  3.9K

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics​

You smile as you look around the third location of The Bubble Bea Beanery.  What started as a cute quaint coffee and tea shop had turned into something so much more.  Growing beyond your expectations.  The new site was coming along perfectly.  You didn’t even have to tell your assistant what you wanted, she just knew.  It had the same vibe as the other two locations, but each store had its own unique spin and personality.

Your cousin yells your name as she slings the door open,and you turn to greet her.  Spinning around in the store with your arms spread wide and the biggest smile on your face.  You were so proud, “So we need to talk,” Chelsea starts off, without even a short sweet hello.  

“About what?” Chelsea was always up to something, and always getting you in trouble.

“You know I love you, and I love what you’re doing here.  The Bubble Bean is adorable.”

“But?” There was always a but.  Especially with the way she had approached this conversation.  

“You don’t have anyone to share it with.”

“Ugh,” you scoff, rolling your eyes as you head towards the storage room.  Chelsea follows you, wanting to start speaking, but you cut her off, “Do you not think I haven’t tired?  You act as if I hole up alone every night in my apartment.  I don’t.  I just don’t think there’s anyone worth my time.  I would rather be single than settle, and…why are you smiling?”

“I did something stupid, but it paid off,” you open your eyes wide as you hold out your arms, glaring at her.  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are smiling, and you said you did something stupid.  I’m not doing speed dating nonsense.”

“I’m not asking you to.  I…I can’t proceed down this path without your consent.”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what it is,” she counters.  Following you as you walk further away.  Starting to pack up bags of coffee beans.  “I’m trying to help you.”

“No.”

“But I want to help you.”

“Absolutely no.”

“Please, just hear me out,” sighing, you stop your movements and give her your undivided attention.  “It’s not the best timing.  And before you say anything, just listen.  I know you’ve got the third store opening, and there’s still so much to do, but I signed you up for something.”

You roll your eyes because it was always something she was wanting you to do.  Cousins, but also best friends.  She found love early, and had children early.  Now she wanted to live vicariously through you as you navigated trying to find someone that was worth having more than three dates with.  “You were approved to go on The Bachelor.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“The season you're on has a music producer named Nick Vaughan on it, and…”

“Shut up!  The Bachelor?  Like the show we have a FaceTime call every Monday night to watch?” Chelsea nods her head, and reaches into her pocket for her phone before she shows you a picture, “This is Nick?”

“Yep.  And I know what you’re thinking…”

“He’s hot.”

“That is not at all what I thought you were thinking.  But I’m going to shut up, you work it out in your head.  Can I make a bubble tea?”

“No,” you groan, trying to think things through logically.  What would it actually feel like to date a guy that was obviously dating twenty other women?  To know that you weren’t the only person he was talking to.  You wouldn’t be the only person he was spending time with.  Was developing sincere feelings even possible?  You enjoyed the show, but that didn’t mean you wanted to be on the show.  That was a lot to think about.

“We’re on time crunch.  There’s other girls that want to be on.  And they chose you.  I don’t know what the criteria is, and I’m not going to pretend to know, but The Bachelor with that hot guy.  What do you have to lose?”

“I’m opening up a new store.”

“And Claudia has made all the decisions.  You just told me that yesterday.”

“But it’s not open.”

“Claudia and you hired several new employees.  Rick is going to test them on their coffee making skills.  Babes, even though you’ve got a new store opening, you’ve got this down.  It’s completely perfect.  And you can do this.  You can go on this stupid show and have fun.  Maybe make out with a hot guy, and make your last boyfriend that lasted a total of three months, jealous.  You could have that hot man make out with you on camera, and try and get it in.  And every man that used the excuse that they weren’t in the right place in their life can swallow rocks while you fuck Nick.”

“You can’t do that.  It’s what the fantasy suite is for,” it actually didn’t sound like a bad idea.  It sounded fun.  But could you trust everyone on your team to make this store happen?

“Okay, you get to travel, have fun, meet this incredibly hot guy, spend time with women exploring different locations, and then there’s this possibility of finding love.  How bad could this be?”

“Why would you say that?” You ask, childishly stomping your foot.  She knows how superstitious you are, and that was not necessary.  “You have ruined everything now.”

“So does that mean you’re going to go?” Chelsea taps her knuckles on the cabinets three times before you ever nod your head yes.  You were going to do it, but it was only to have fun.

Nick rubs his hand over his brows, scrunching his eyes.  He is annoyed.  “Why am I doing this again?”

“It’s good publicity,” Nick’s hand slaps down on the arm of the chair as he glares over at his manager.  “You said you didn’t have time to date, and you weren’t into just sex.  Here you go.  You get to date twenty-six women at once.”

“Sounds exhausting.”

“And they all know that you’re dating all of them,” Nick rolls his eyes, settling back more into his chair.  Dating around out in the open when you were the only male, and the women lived together, “Nick, it’s for a few weeks.  What is the worst that could happen,” Nick’s eyes turn into saucers as he stares over at his manager, and Mickey taps his knuckles on the table beside him three times.

“Seriously?  You know I hate sentences like that.”

“And I did your odd little ritual or knocking on wood three times.  You signed the contract though.  You’re doing it.  Just have fun.  Meet women.  Enjoy yourself.”

Nick did not think he would enjoy himself.  He thinks this show is going to be corny.  The only thing he can hope for is maybe some fun.  Maybe get to meet some attractive women.  But he knows the drama is coming.  He knows his normally private life is going to be exaggerated to make it look more exciting on television.  Fake dates, and too many women; a lot could go wrong.

Nick looks out at the property of the mansion, shaking his head.  The women are gorgeous.  They seemed interesting, and first impressions aren't everything, but there was nobody he had met that he actually saw himself with.  There could always be something more.  But it was starting to feel monotonous.

Gorgeous women.  And this was just speed dating.  It is all it was.  He says his hellos, nodding his head.  He’s polite, and notices the camera.  They all put on a show for him.  They wanted him to remember them.  And still they blurred together.

He looks over at the producers, giving them a curt nod as he sighs.  “How long is this supposed to last?”

“You signed the contract,” a nameless, faceless producer reminds him.

“Right.  Is that all of them?” He had been standing here for ages.  When they shake their heads, he lets out a dramatic puff of air.  “She’s late?”

“Yes.  Her driver.”

Nick wants to fire the driver.  “Is she the last one?” Another nod from the producer.  This is what he didn’t like.  Things weren’t in his control here when in real life they normally were.  He was the director of things in the studio.  He told other’s what to do.  And now he was being controlled by people he didn’t know and a bunch of giggly women.  He is already exhausted thinking about it.

“Finally,” Nick whispers as headlights shine on the damp pavement.  

Pursing your lips, you exhale slowly as the car rolls into place.  He looks annoyed.  This was a terrible idea.  He couldn’t even look at the car.  The driver couldn’t find your location.  You knew you were going to be the first to be sent home.  You couldn’t even see his face.  He was disinterested before even meeting you because of something beyond your control.

Grabbing onto the door handle, you pull the lever, and step out of the car.  Nick’s head tips forward, and your eyes lock in with his crystal blue eyes.  “Hey,” he says with a boyish grin.

“Hey,” you smile back.  His pictures didn’t do him any justice.  He is handsome, but it was so much more than that.  There seemed to be a young mischievous quality about him.  You give him your name, and he pulls up your hand up to his mouth, kissing over your knuckles.  

“I’m Nick.”

“I know,” he hadn’t dropped your hand, and you had no intention of removing it.  “I’m sorry.  I’m nervous.”

“I was,” you clear your throat, looking down to the ground.  It was too soon.  You did not want to be the one saying you were in love the first night.  “So…uh…what do you do?”

“I own a couple coffee shops.  Putting up the third.”

“I love coffee.  What’s it called?”

“The Bubble Bee Beanery,” Nick’s eyes somehow get brighter, and his smile widens.  His thumb starts making shapes on the top of your hand, and you become even more nervous.  Who was this man to get you to act like a school girl?

“You’re a New York girl?” Staring at him confused, you nod your head.  “Upper East Side?”

“Yes,” your word drags out.  Had he done some research on you ladies, and he just knew it was you.

“I love the Bubble Bee.  My order is the Metropolitan.  I don’t always get to go in there; my assistant gets it most of the time.  I prefer the flagstone store.  And…that’s yours?  I’ll admit the bubble tea is not really my thing, but the coffee is top notch.  Naming specialty drinks after parts of the city is cute.  It’s just good coffee.  Not too gimmicky.  And you did this show for what reason?”

“To hopefully find love.  Isn’t that why you signed up?” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, even if you wanted to.  He still hadn’t quit touching you.  His hand was steadily in your own.

“Yeah.  Yeah, I did,” his eyes coast up and down your body, admiring every bit of your soft curves.  You are surprising to him, in the best way possible.  Not at all stuffy like the other girls.  There was a playfulness.  A soft quality.  While everyone else was just trying to be sexy, you are being lighthearted.  

“You should probably head in for cocktails.”

“Will I get to talk to you the rest of the night?  Or are you going to mingle some more?”

“I have to mingle.  But I definitely want to see you out in the garden.  Just you and me.  Bring a drink,” a producer beckons Nick over to him, and Nick runs his thumb and forefinger over his beard.  Making you weak, and visioning sinful thoughts about him.  Maybe this experience isn’t going to be too bad.  And maybe you could at least have some fun.  You did like what you were seeing.

It feels weird to be in a house of women that are looking at one guy.  The same guy that you couldn’t keep your eyes off.  The very man that you had to keep telling yourself that he was not locking eyes with you.  He couldn’t be sitting on a couch with four other women, and his sight drifting to yours.  That was most definitely not what was happening.  Never.

Nick stands from the couch, giving each lady a nod before walking right over towards you, his hand going towards your free hand, “What are you drinking, bellissima?”

“Are you Italian?”

“Not that I’m aware of.  But beautiful just seems a bit too cliche tonight.  Bellissima has a spark.  What’s in your cup?”

“It’s a whiskey sour.”

“Hmm,” he says with a grin, pulling your hand into his.  “Follow me.  Let’s get a bit of privacy.

Holding onto your hand, he leads you outside, and you hear whispers immediately.  Could feel eyes stabbing in the back of your head.  You were going to be talked about.  You had seen the show enough that anytime a girl was pulled away from the group, everyone had something to say.  You didn’t go to Nick, he came to you.  Now you were a target.

He sits down, and pulls you right along with him.  His arm wraps around you.  “If we were here, I would have already taken you home.”

“What makes you think I would have followed you?  I’m not that kind of girl, Nicholas.”

“Oh, she likes using the whole name when she’s calling me out.  So, what kind of girl are you, Bella?” Your brow perks up, and you find yourself leaning slightly more into him.  “I can’t go around calling you bellissima in front of the other ladies.  They’ll get jealous.  So, Bella, what kind of a girl are you?”

“Someone who wants a partner.  I can do life by myself.  I just want to enjoy life with someone.  I don’t need a man, I want a man.  Have our shared moments, create new memories, and have fun.”

“Well, this show is for marriage,” you’re not an idiot.  You knew it was for marriage, and respond with a grin, and a slight nod.  “Clearly, you want to be married, so that’s good.”

“And what about you?  Is marriage something you’ve wanted?” There is something oddly liberating about not holding back with this line of questions.  Both of you knew the end goal, and that was marriage.  You didn’t have to go through months of dating only to realize he didn’t believe in marriage.  Or waste your time because you were not the girl he wanted to marry, he had a different vision.  It was always an excuse, but it was never you they wanted.

“I’ve always wanted marriage.  I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic.  I find women nowadays don’t align with what I want.”

“Oh,” he had to have a flaw.  And here it was.  He was going to tell you.  He had a sick idea of a housewife that had no personality.  Of course he had to have something wrong with him.

“I want…I think people see me as a way to meet celebrities.  I want to be able to bring my girlfriend, or wife with me to parties, and events.  I just don’t want her to run off with one of the artists I’m working with.  They have the fame, and the adoration.  I have the talent behind the scenes, why would they want me?”

“Why would they not?” He gives you a serene smile, but you know he’s been hurt.  From the sounds of it more than once with a cheating girlfriend.  “If someone is going to leave you like that, or cheat on you like that, they never loved you to begin with.  It was a means to find someone else.  I hate cheaters.  I’ve never understood it.  Just leave.  Cheating hurts everyone involved, and nobody realizes that until it’s too late.  Oh…”

You take a deep breath in as Nick’s nose touches your own.  His cologne mixes with the beer he had been nursing, and it makes you dizzy.  It isn’t until he pulls your drink out of your hand that you realize that your legs were laying over top of his.  Things felt comfortable, and you had only met this man.  

“I’d like to kiss you,” Nick’s lashes flutter on your cheek, and you want nothing more than to touch his lips with your own.

“You say that to all the girls here,” it was the first damn night, and every movement of your mouth has your lips brushing up against his.  

“They’re boring.  Let me kiss you,” you respond by puckering your lips and pulling him into you.  You had told yourself that you wanted to have fun, and didn’t want to hold back.  You didn’t believe you could find true love on this show, but getting to kiss a sexy man was worth it.

“She’s already kissing him,” Nicole says as she marches back to the other girls.  “She’s going to be a problem.  She’s a fast mover.  She probably said something to him when they first met.  He couldn’t take his eyes off her.”

“It’s the first night.  She’s just trying to get a rose,” Holly sighs.  Everyone was here for the same thing, and that was him.  It sucks that she wasn’t the one to get a kiss, but she couldn’t fault you.

“No, they’re totally making out.  It’s the first night.”

You have to pull away from Nick, gasping for air as you stare into those bright blue eyes.  Noticing all the different shades that made up the color blue that was unique to him.  “You felt it?” He whispers.  “Don’t play games, Bells.  I’m not.  You’re getting the first impression rose.  I’ve…I need some air.”

There was a difference with kissing him.  Nothing had ever felt better.  Nothing has ever even tasted better than his lips.  His tongue.  And there were cameras capturing it all.  Even the tightness of his pants, and quick departure.

Jena grabs the card, squealing as she starts to open it, “Make sure you’re laser focused,” after she says your name with the other group of girls, you lose interest.  You are going on a group date, with something that involves lasers, and you are getting to see Nick again.

“So is he a good kisser?”

“Hmm?” Looking up from your bland coffee, you stare at one of the nameless contestants.  You couldn’t keep up.  There were so many of them.

“You going to play innocent when Nicole saw you and Nick kissing.  So was he any good?” You didn’t have to listen to this.  You aren’t opposed to making friends, but the point of the show wasn’t them.  It was him.  “That bad or that good?”

“What do you want me to say?  Nick and I kissed.  I’ll admit to that, as to everything else it doesn’t matter.  I’m going to get dressed for the date.”

“He left the cocktail hour.  Barely talked to anyone.  Maybe her kiss was the one that was so bad he couldn’t stand being around her.”

“She got a first impression rose.  I don’t think it was a bad kiss.”

“And he still asked her for a group date.”

They weren’t slick, or quiet.  No wonder there was always so much drama on here.  You could hear everything.  And you learned quickly that if you didn’t hear it someone would tell you what you missed. A constant trying to pit everyone against each other.  It was going to be a long seven weeks.  If you made it that far.

Laser tag.  Of course that’s what the date card meant.  And of course you being caught making out with Nick had everyone immediately wanting to go up against you.  Not all could.  You had to be put into teams.  Your team got lucky, you’re an excellent shot.  

“Oof!” You choke out as someone pulls you into a hidden alcove of the arena.  Back slamming against the wall, and then the softest touch of his fingertips run down your side, “Nick, we can’t…”

“I had to see you.  There’s never enough time with you.  There’s no cameras here.  And I can’t stay away.  You feel it right?” Biting at your lip, you nod your head.  Trembling as his hands grips to your hip.  Fingers digging into your skin, while his thumb makes shapes on your stomach so tenderly.  His hand rests on the wall beside your head, and you suddenly understand all those romance novels.  This is the perfect angle for him.

“You’re getting a rose,” he informs you, biting at his lip.  Unsure of whether this was part of the show or not, but you liked it.

“I don’t need you to tell me that.”

“I want to be open and honest with you about what I’m thinking.  You’re getting a rose.  You’re not going anywhere, and from how I feel right now, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.  I need you to stay and see where this goes.  Kiss me.”

Shaking your head no, you pull him closer.  Your hand drops the laser gun and you run you shaking fingers up his back, “You better kiss me, or I’ll make sure Nicole gets a good shot at you.”

“This is too fast,” was it the show or getting caught up in the feelings that made people fall so fast.  When you watched the show you laughed at these women.  Now you understand.  You could see it happening, and feel it right before your eyes.  It didn’t even feel free.

“So?  This is not a normal way of dating.  This is entertainment for millions, and this kiss is just for us.  Kiss me like you wanted to last night.  No cameras.  No bullshit.  Just…” your hand coasts to his neck, and you pull him into you.  Slotting your lips on his, and the hand beside your head moves to the back of your neck, and he presses his weight into you.

Breathless isn’t even the word.  It’s shocking.  Lightning sparks through your veins when his tongue licks over your lips, and you grant him access.  Whimpering in his mouth, and clinging to him so tightly.  This wasn’t a normal first kiss.  This was just the beginning of passion.  Had this alcove had more room, you would have been pulling him to the floor.  

Nick starts ghosting his lips down your jaw, settling on your neck, and gives you a tiny little nip.  Rolling his hips into your body, “Nick, we can’t.”

“I want to.”

“I want to, too, but,” your words drown out as his mouth dips even lower on your body.  “Nick, please.”

“I love that word coming out of your mouth,” you mewl as he kisses down your chest.  Fingers weaving through his hair.  “My god, Bella…”

“Stop.  Stop stop,” he stands up immediately, staring at your kiss bruised lips.  “They already hate me.”

“I saw the footage.  It seems to just be a couple that hate you.”

“I watch the show.  I know how girls can be.  Just…I like this, but we have a contract.  And not all of us want to buy ourselves out of it.  This was fun.”

“Maybe, we’ll do it again?”

It was cruel.  Having to follow someone else’s rules, and not just your own.  They weren’t even Nick’s rules, but the studios.  “You know where to find me,” you playfully answer, and his eyes drift down your body as you begin to leave.  

“I’ve got a rose just for you,” and let the games begin.  

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season​ @marveloustaylortot​ @pono-pura-vida​ @sstan-hoe​ @missusbarnes-rogers​ @peaches1958​ @seitmai​ @smile1318​ @andydrysdalerogers​ @cjand10​ @midnightramyeoncravings​ @maroonsunrise83​ @kmc1989​ @patzammit​ @misshinson​ @jlw2334​ @sebsgirl71479​

[yukizaldi]

I Got You

(MattyxReader)

This is my first fic I’m writing. Might write more. Starting with a sick fic because fuck it why not since I like fluffy stuff.

Basically you came down with a shitty ass fever and your bestie takes care of you

Warnings: pure fluffy content, evil cold, touch starved, friends to lovers

(Trust me when I say it’s really cute, also don’t mind me adding time skips bc my thumbs can be lazy sometimes and so is my brain)

Waking up to a cold is never good isn’t it? That feeling when you feel like your body is betraying you because the muscles are sore and you can’t really do anything other than to stay in bed is a pain. I really wish my bestie is here right now.

My bestie, Matty! Why didn’t I think that before?

I ring him up while I suffer in bed with the evil fever. “Bestie, everything ok?” He asks.

“Can you come over please? I’m really lonely at home right now.” I croak, my voice raspy from the soreness of my throat. He tells me, “I’m on my way now, darlin’.”

When he arrives…

He enters my room only to see me like death is about to reap my ass out of my body. Pale as shit, everything hurts. He placed his lips on my forehead, his cold touch against my hot skin.

“You’re burning up, my love,” his voice said softly. I open my eyes to see him in front of me, those curls, those beautiful eyes, the chest tattoo peaking a teeny tiny bit from under his shirt. Usually whenever he comes over, I’m all smiles, but in this case, now, I’m very weak to do anything.

“You’re here,” I say as I reach his hand. “I feel like absolute shit.”

“I know, love.”

He lays himself on the other side of the bed as he wraps an arm around me. He always does this when I’m having trouble sleeping, waking up from nightmares, or whenever I’m sick, just like today.

“Anything I can do for you, my love?” He asks as he kisses my forehead. I nestle into him, though part of me worries he would get sick too. “Stay, please.” My voice is almost gone at this point.

“M’not gonna leave you, darling. I’m always here for you, even when you’re like this.” He whispers against my hair, his fingers gently stroking it. A tiny shiver escapes my body from his soothing movements. I feel his heartbeat in his chest as I play with his fingers from his free hand. He hums a calming melody, lulling me to sleep. I love hearing his voice, especially when he sings. Phone call or physically. I had fallen asleep once it ended.

Two hours later…

Gone is he. I had awaken, the fever dying down a little. I think about my feelings over everything. Matty’s the sweetest guy I’ve known for a long time. Though he may be busy with tour or work, he’s always here for me. I have developed a crush on him over the years. I always waited for a kiss on the forehead, his little thumb strokes that I like. I always wonder what it’s like to kiss him on the lips… My face turned red. Why am I thinking about that?! I’ve been trying to hide it for so long. When can I tell him?

He has returned to my room with only his joggers on, his bare chest revealing the tattoo I like. He sits down on my side with the tray in his hand as he places it on my lap. “Brought you the broccoli soup you like and chamomile tea. Along with painkillers for later on.” He smiles at me. My heart warms up seeing him smile like that. What a sweetheart he is.

Matty gently places the bowl on my hands only to realize I’m still weak from the fever. The pains haven’t disappeared yet. I whimper from the pain as he lift the bowl from my hands, placing it back on the tray and strokes my arms. “Shhhhhhh,” he whispers. “It’s okay. It’s okay, darlin.’ I got you.”

He takes the spoon to feed me. It’s strange to some people but believe me when I say this. This is the most sweetest thing a man can do. Even if the other is being fed like a baby. The princess treatment, even when not asked, is really the best treatment ever for me and I feel so grateful for that. Content with what I’ve eaten, he hands me the tea as I take sips of it. I went straight for the throat, basically kissing him on the cheek as if to say thank you for taking care of me. Before thinking what to say, he gently claims my lips with his own. Soft and passionate it is. His lips are so gentle against mine. I can’t stop thinking about how good it feels to have his arms around me as we kiss. We pulled away as our foreheads connect. “I love you so much,” I whisper. “You have no idea how long I wanted to be with you. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“I love you too, my love. I would love to be your boyfriend.” He whispers back. I nod and nestle into his bare chest. We both lay on the bed in each other’s arms. “Wonder what the guys gonna react now that we’re together.”

I think they’ll be happy for us.” I reply. I yawn all of a sudden, thinking the food and the tea made me sleepy. He chuckles at my sleepy eyes. “So adorable when you’re cuddled up with me in these blankets,” he coos as he strokes my head. “I promise to always be there for you and love you forever.” I smile at him.

“I know this is gonna sound weird,” I began. “but will you sing me a lullaby? Please?” It earned another smile from him.

“Not weird at all. I think it’s cute you would like that. You don’t mind any song do you?” He asks. I shook my head and tell him that I don’t mind any song.

“In case I fall asleep, goodnight in advance, babe.”

“Goodnight in advance, darlin.’”

He continues stroking my head and begins singing softly.

Now is the hour

When we must say goodbye

Soon you'll be waiting

Far across the sea

I love the vibrations from his chest when he sings. I play with his fingers a while.

While you're away

Then, remember me

When you return

You'll find me, waiting here

I feel my eyes begin to close. I begin to drift off to sleep as Matty sings the final chorus.

Now is the hour

When we must say goodbye

When you return

You'll find me, waiting here

[bugtransport]

Kamen Rider Stronger finished April 20, 2023

i forgot i finished this on 4/20. LONG POST WARNING!!

Okay, before I start this one, holy shit I’ve done so much since the last time I wrote one of these. Let me get back into the groove here. Stronger is in a weird spot where I feel like I have to recap a lot to talk about what I want to talk about so there’s going to be a lot of that. This one builds. Let me convince you that General Shadow is an interesting character.

AS ALWAYS: I’ll be dropping spoilers willy-nilly for like every series leading up to this + all of Stronger but there's an extra warning before the show ending spoilers. Thank you.

YIPPEE!

I know I've already owned up to it but at this point let's make it official... Showa Rider might be made for me? Every single time I try to think back about what I just watched to write about it I'm hit with the exact same thought: holy shit, that was SO fun. It is, it really is and always is. I had a blast, thanks. This is also the first time I've really felt like the way that I'm watching this (by starting at the very beginning and just blasting through season by season) has actually paid off! The past couple seasons have gotten interestingly experimental but Stronger feels like they were attempting to return to form while still using the knowledge they learned along the way. It's kind of adjacent to how V3 felt like '71 Rider refined; Jo Shigeru came in like "we are SO fucking back." 

The comparison between V3 and Stronger extends to the main characters too; I think that Kazami and Shigeru are more alike than not. We've been rotating protags (sans Hayato, sorry babe but you’re special in my eyes) in a pattern I've described as "sensory issues -> batshit -> wet" where for as much as I compared Hongo and Amazon to each other in the "the world is so loud and scary and I can't trust myself to not lash out and that scares me more" department I have to do the same for Kazami and Shigeru in the "hey boss, I'm gonna go fucking, I don't know, dig this bullet out of my shoulder with a knife I cleaned by spitting on it and then electrocute myself for funsies" department. Like okay, take a look at this list I whipped up here:

Both Kazami and Shigeru wanted to become borgs to avenge people who were dear to them and killed by the organizations in their respective series; Kazami for his family and Shigeru for his friend. Though Shigeru went straight to the source while Kazami tried to convince Hongo and Hayato to borg him first to no avail, you can’t tell me that Kazami didn’t jump into that beam and save the two of them and not think that might win him brownie points that he could then later use to convince the two of them that yes, this is the right thing to do and he would be a great addition to the team. 

Both of them have another Rider with them (I count Tackle!) who aren’t really… fully borged? Yuki isn’t for sure, he’s just got the arm; I’m not sure exactly whether or not Yuriko is a full borg because I don’t believe they straight up address that in the show but they sure didn’t address her like one and I’ve heard some things (...we’ll get into this later) that would lead me to believe that she was meant to be only partially there originally and get to full borgification by the end of the show. Both of them fought with the respective riders they were paired with. Also, both of their mouths are out in their suits! Very cute! 

Speaking of suits, both of them have very silly little suits that I don’t think anyone else in the series could pull off wearing. Imagine if Keisuke transformed into V3 or something. I think I’d cry looking at that. Hayato as Stronger? Man, he doesn’t have the sheer balls for that one. Sorry king…

Which of course leads me to: they’ve both got huge egos. I really don’t need to elaborate on this one, look at the shit the two of them pull… Kazami a little more in the physical department with the stunts he does and Shigeru socially with his cockiness, but you can see the comparison, right? 

And before we go on I think I need to clarify something: Shigeru jumping himself with his bike is very very real. That is actually a scene that happens. Anyway! I adore the way that the show started off and Shigeru and Yuriko had already been through their borg procedures and that the first time we meet them they're already fighting. It's a nice break from tradition! It feels fresh and new! I also think that it's one of the only ways that you could possibly sell how they borged Shigeru in a way that would make sense in a children's show. They gave him electric hands? Like, metal hands that he has to wear gloves over lest he fucking electrocute everyone? There had to have been an adjustment period there but by the time we meet him he's fine with things. I think this was probably the right call; while I love myself some good borg angst and it's interesting to see them adapt to their new lives and Ishinomori back me up here I think you would agree that exploring this idea is fun... for the way that Shigeru is borged specifically I think there's a little too much room for things to go south way too fast. Those two concepts can coexist in my mind. Can you imagine what it would have been like if he had tried to go swimming or something? 

After the first episode we do get a flashback in the second to exactly how Shigeru got borged which was basically:

Shigeru: [walks into Black Satan] hey I want to be on your side I love facism 

Scientists: ok what borgification u want

Shigeru: just fuck me up and make me stronger

Scientist: okay [electric hands]

Shigeru, Stronger: haha fuckin idiot I’m actually here for revenge! you killed my friend and I hate nazis. taste the powers you gave me [explodes them] 

And then he escapes, taking Yuriko (Tackle) with him. From the start he’s really cocky! My remark as I was watching the show was that he really feels like he can do anything because he just doesn’t give a shit about the social implications of anything that he does. Take him just walking into a lighthouse, getting stopped by the guard who works there, patting the guy down and being like “alright, well, you’re not a monster I guess,” and leaving. He’s silly and kind of rude to Tachibana (when he shows up) and has a “Who are you?” “What? Don’t you know who I am?” exchange with all the monsters he meets. He has a whole damn speech he does every time he transforms. It’s so good!

^ HE GOES :D

While this might have set Yuriko up to be the Female Straight Man (which she kind of is for him a little) she’ll rib Tachibana or the two of them will team up and slander a monster together. I love the way they interact… I think it helps them remain on pretty equal footing even though Shigeru is absolutely the primary fighter. He still leaves things to her and trusts her to do them. I don’t think she’s fully borged - she’s never referred to as such and instead gets the term… what’s it in English, electrowave human? So she can do special attacks and such. It kind of feels like a Taki type role but stronger? Not exactly; a lot of Taki’s importance in ‘71 Rider comes from the fact that he is fully human and able to keep up with them to contrast Hongo and Hayato, but Shigeru doesn’t have the same need to connect with his humanity as they do (being borged was his choice, after all) and as such I think Yuriko fits with him much better. If we let Tackle and Taki 1v1 I think Tackle would sweep. 

You see what I mean about Stronger seemingly learning from and refining the previous series? There’s not a way that I can talk about it without contrasting it – I think this is the point where I would stop and say that if you’re thinking about taking on the Grand Prix for yourself in full or in part and would like Stronger to be one of the series you watch to watch whichever of the series come chronologically before this that you are also interested in partaking before starting Stronger. I personally believe that there can be a lot of value in experiencing things in reverse order [<- guy who played the Layton series backwards and loved it] but also… I think that seeing things build up to Stronger as opposed to experiencing Stronger and then going behind the scenes to take a look at the building blocks is the way to go. Nowhere is that more apparently in my opinion than with: 

Hey man, what if the Generals fucked? 

^ he's calling the cops on me for that one

Maybe this was the part of the series I was most excited to talk about. Don’t worry about it. So far I’ve pitched Stronger like a continuation of ‘71 Rider to V3 which I’d say the main cast falls into; there’s not really a lot of the others in Shigeru… but if we’re talking villain generals? We’re talking X, baby. I think that meeting Apollo Geist first is absolutely essential if X is something you’re planning on watching (don’t watch X but like, watch X) so that you can see the fields from which Titan was grown. I have it on anecdotal evidence that doing things non-chrono and going back to watch X and therefore meeting Apollo Geist post Stronger feels a little underwhelming, but meeting Apollo Geist fresh off the heels of V3 feels correct and the ramp up in Stronger comes naturally. All of that to say: we’re back with the sexual tension, but it’s even more nuts this time. 

There’s one scene in X where civvie Apollo Geist shows up at Tachibana’s coffee shop and sits down at the counter to order. He asks where Keisuke is; Tachibana tells him that he’s out, and inquires as to how this man (who has not introduced himself) knows Keisuke. An old friend, perhaps? Apollo Geist shrugs – something like that. It feels like Titan took that scene and decided to build his entire goddamn character around it. 

^ man what the hell was this pick up line

Remember earlier when I mentioned that none of the monsters seem to know who Stronger is? That’s very much true, but Titan absolutely knows. He follows him around and smokes his stupid little cigarettes from his stupid little cigarette holder and just watches him. Titan’s obsessed with this man but whereas with Apollo Geist all the monsters were like “oh fuck yeah, let’s tie up X and drag him back, I’m sure that would make Apollo Geist happy,” it almost seems like Titan wants to keep Stronger for himself and just… doesn’t tell anyone about him. He’s possessive. He’s really intense about it. He is also using X-era techniques which didn’t even end up working against Keisuke to try and get Shigeru, of all people. It’s a fascinating strategy. The two of them follow each other to a concert and just stare at each other across the hall. Titan doesn’t really get his ass kicked, but he knows he’s not strong enough yet for Stronger. He upgrades himself. He fucking goes for it. And Titan… dies.

Well, let’s put a pin in that for a second. In any case, we need a new general, because that’s how these things go. Despite looking like a cross between an anatomical model, an astronaut, and the fucking Joker, Shadow is oddly compelling as a character to me in a way I have absolutely no idea how to describe or talk about? He’s not actually a part of Black Satan – he just kind of heard that Black Satan was fighting Stronger and was like “well shit, I want a piece of that, let me in,” and is just kind of here now. He proclaims so to Shigeru upon meeting him. Shadow really likes to play whatever game he thinks is going on by his own rules and he seems to have a blast doing so. He’s enigmatic, he’s fresh, he’s unlike any general that we’ve had before. His weird secretive nature almost makes him seem more like the leader type than the general type. Shigeru seems to understand that Shadow’s much more of a sinister threat than Titan, but doesn’t really seem to know what to do about it. 

Let me quickly detour you another time just to finish setting up this stage here: throughout my time watching Stronger I was also working on over easy, you know, that Donbros comic I made! Still really like that thing. I know I and others have joked about Tarou being Showa-coded and honestly if you were to pick him up and place him down in a 70’s Rider series I think he’d be right at home; I mentioned up top that Shigeru doesn’t seem to give a shit about societal expectations and while I think that Tarou gives a little more of a shit about the consequences (seems to have less of a grasp on how the implications actually work though) I’m fine putting them in a similar category. Did you know Inoue’s dad worked on Stronger? That’s a fun little fact for you. 

Okay, time to get back to the show. 

Titan gets one funeral (which Shigeru gets invited to in the funniest way, by just Being in a field while this was announced to him somehow) but it was kind of a flop and nobody showed up and they didn’t even manage to use it to capture Stronger, so they decide that he needs another one. It’s at this second funeral that Shigeru finds Titan laying in a casket on a bed of roses (yes, just like Shigeru has all over his outfit) and manages to prick his electric hand on one of them, bleeding like a human, directly onto Titan’s lips, who then revives, licks it, and becomes Hundred-Eyes Titan. Buildup’s over, this is where the mad yaoi really starts. 

You might now be understanding why I brought up Donbrothers earlier; yes, this scene shares really striking similarities with the time that Tarou got the juice sucked out of him at Sonoi’s funeral but even more homoerotic, because it’s actual blood?

Nevermind the actual Showa-era “how human are cyborgs, really” conversation that’s to be had both in the borg angst sense but also about the fact that he can bleed from his what-I’ve-been-presuming-to-be-metal hands. Again, calling back to X, it’s almost like that point after Apollo Geist got resurrected and was going to die unless he took one of X’s parts and put it in his heart, but this actually happened and wasn’t just theoretical. We’re going past where Apollo Geist got to. If first base is fighting the Rider and home base is actually killing them, I think Titan’s made it to second. Uh, but he’s got a problem getting to third. They’ve already brought in his replacement. There’s only one way to fix this one. 

Titan and Shadow Get Divorced 

Titan was kind of a flop in his first life. He’s been powered up a little more with Shigeru’s blood, but Shadow’s also been given Titan’s position pretty recently, and it would be a dick move to fire him. Look, usually the generals don’t come back unless the people they’re working for are the ones bringing them back, and they sure as shit weren’t doing that for Titan. Might as well just make them work it out together? For some reason the Black Satan leader seems to think this will work; really all it does is just instantly sets the two of them at each other's throats, and they begin to fight over Stronger.

They get exceptionally petty about it. Titan shows up, with a rose again, leading Stronger into a minefield, also strewn with roses, just to really rub in the whole “haha, your blood revived me” thing. Shadow at a couple points ends up straight up giving information to Shigeru so that he can get the upper hand on Titan. Shadow (who has a playing card theme, by the way, that’s his whole deal) shows Titan one of the cards that he just did a fortune reading with, and who else appears but Jo Shigeru, dripping wet, in the outline of the spade (cropped with the tail not showing) like he’s being framed in a heart. 

^ the way he looks at that card just takes me the fuck out every time

I feel like I’m losing my mind every time I think about the two of them. Titan staggers up a dune into the good ol’ Toku Desert, dragging himself to Shadow before Shadow kills Stronger so that he can have the pleasure of at least torturing him a little bit before he goes. Shadow pokes fun at Titan for being like “I’ll be the one to kill Stronger!” with a “are you sure you actually can?” and Titan, hand to my heart, blushes. 

Titan staggers up a dune into the good ol’ Toku Desert, dragging himself to Shadow before Shadow kills Stronger so that he can have the pleasure of at least torturing him a little bit before he goes. What the fuck?!

^ DIVORCED BITCHES REALLLLLL

Titan has his own hell! Titan has made his own hell and takes Shadow there to show off his accomplishments in a scene that I can only call “two socialites who desperately need a divorce” in which Titan plays the tired husband who’s got eyes for his secretary (Shigeru) but has to bring his bitch of a wife Shadow with him to work to show off just how much he does for this family while his bitch wife Shadow looks on, unimpressed, and thinks about also fucking his husband’s secretary (still Shigeru) or maybe killing his husband and taking the life insurance money, because there’s no way this plan of his will do anything but collapse down around him, which it does, and Titan once again dies as Stronger throws him back down the crevasse to this pit he’s quite literally dug himself. 

Watching the two of them interact is absolutely fascinating. Titan’s passion for Shigeru seems renewed and completely focused now that he has a rival, Shadow’s ignited something in him, and Shadow seems like he’s having fun playing around messing with Titan while enacting his own plans. Shadow turns out to be superstitious, and bases most of his decisions off readings that he does with his deck of cards, which adds an even more fun element to his character. This is the part of the show where he seems the most… I don’t want to say happy, but how about “in his element.” These are all some really good episodes of television and they’re a blast to watch. 

Black Satan leader susses out that Shadow’s up to some shit (don’t know how that could have happened, it’s not like he’s been telling everyone he meets or anything) and decides to try and bring in another General instead of letting Shadow lead. Shigeru gets captured, defeats the leader, and Shigeru and Yuriko are the FIRST RIDERS IN HISTORY TO CRACK OPEN A COLD ONE WITH TACHIBANA!! 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! THE END! 

LET’S GO TO DEMON WORLD! [SHOW END SPOILERS START HERE]

No, things aren’t actually over. This is where you can tell that things got rushed in production as (from what I’ve heard) ratings kind of tanked. Shadow brings in his friends from Demon World (where he lived before?) and decides to start a new army with them called the Delza Army, which he kind of leads. This is what he’s spent his time fighting with Titan and Shigeru and Black Satan secretly working towards - taking over the facilities that Black Satan already had and using them for his own new purpose. And sure, to do this, they need to kill Stronger, yeah. 

In much the same way that Titan and Shadow fought with each other, giving Stronger an edge, the Delza Army part of the show is mostly about these characters showing off their weaknesses through their bickering with each other, but there’s a whole fucking throng of them this time around. They each brought their own themed goons with them, and on multiple occasions the goons even begin fighting with each other while Stronger just kind of looks on in confusion and gets a clean path to the monster he’s actually looking to fight. This being backed by scenes of Shadow (somehow) drinking wine listening to one of his compatriots drone on and on makes it seem like he really misses being on the front lines?

^ look all i'm saying is that it looks like it's 2:55 and he's got another meeting with the guy this dude is bitching about at 3 to hear the other side of this story and he hasn't had lunch yet

The thing about the Delza Army is that it’s absolutely a “too many cooks in the kitchen” situation. Shadow’s brought in a bunch of people with conflicting views and outrageous personalities and different fighting styles who spend half the time using him as HR to work out their interpersonal issues and he just seems… tired. He doesn’t seem like a guy who was cut out for management! This is not a new character type by any means, I could name so many characters who get into a position in their job and realize like “nah, actually, I was way happier where I was,” fucking Jim from The Office does it, but it’s a completely new role for any General and like also, this was what he was working for from the beginning. To finally get here and realize that actually, he doesn’t want this, is kind of weirdly fucked and not at all what I was expecting from this show. All of the characters around him have so much personality and character that they’re completely forgettable because of the oversaturation . They went an oddly adult angle with his character and I can’t tell if it’s at all intentional or if it just happened to turn out this way. I don’t personally think that this part of the show is as good as the part with Titan and Shadow fighting, but I feel like that decrease even more helps support the change in Shadow’s character, so it ends up wrapping around to working.

This is also the part where Yuriko dies. 

There’s not really much that I can say about that one other than the fact that I’ve heard she was supposed to be brought back later as a full rider this time but, because the show had to be cut, isn’t. I have a story in my mind where the rest of the guys – because they all come back at the end, they have to put on one last big show, and they’ve got a lot of science guys there – manage to jump her back to life in much the same way Shigeru did himself and transform her into a full cyborg, like I said earlier, and that she’d fully join the ranks. I know that there was talk of possibly making Taki V3 or even Riderman, which is another reason I compared the two up top. They could have done that without all of the additional angst that it would have caused the '71 cast to borg Taki since Yuriko's already been modified. It would have been so good... I’ll mention this again I’m sure come Skyrider post, but I really liked his little spotted scarf, mostly because it reminds me of Tackle’s suit. It’s like she did get to be with us in a way! 

From there on you get your usual show beats: as mentioned previously, all the previous riders show up which is very fun, they defeat Shadow (who kind of seems relieved to be going out, to be honest) and the rest of the Delza army, and then it’s time to fight the Leader.

^ Tachibana's really silly in this one and but it's the sweetest thing seeing his boys come back to him

The leader this time around is like, I think the quarry come to life? No, but for real: some kind of rock monster that has been pulling the strings of all the different groups that all the different riders have fought. It’s all the same guy behind the scenes. I’ll say it, I kind of appreciated that one as a “no matter what name you put to it, facism is facism” type thing? I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to interpret it that way. It feels kind of appropriate. The specifics of what they’re fighting change but the root cause and their aim is always the same; though there might be infighting between the groups, Kamen Rider is a show about punching Nazis at its core. 

^ and they all love Tachibana so much!

This is the last time (besides the little special) that we get to have Tachibana on the show. There’s a break between this one and Skyrider and you can absolutely feel it looming in the horizon as everyone rides off again. Despite that, Stronger’s a blast of a show! I think this is one where there are absolutely different ways you could watch it and I just managed to take the path where I ended up probably the most satisfied I could have been during the Delza part since I was just watching the degradation of a man in bureaucracy. Which is always, always fun. 

TO RECAP:

YES fuck yes I recommend Stronger, with the caveat I gave at the beginning that you should probably watch whichever shows chronologically come before this one that you’re interested in watching before you Tackle Stronger. 

Bu dum tss…

[savingyou]

Okay to preface: I’m a trans man and this is my opinion, and if you disagree or want to call me transphobic please go away and never come back and also look up the definition of “opinion” because it will help you.

I think Dean Winchester is trans and here’s why:

In the pilot episode we see a picture of young Dean, John, and young Sam, both wearing hats and plaid and sitting on the Impala. Dean is shown with shoulder length black hair and this is my first piece of evidence for trans!Dean.

Now, i know that boys can have long hair and I have seen plenty of little boys with long hair. Dean looks to be 12 in the picture, and both John and Sam have short hair. So we know they can afford haircuts (or are at least able to get them) and while Dean may have just styled his hair like this, i think that it was long because he wasn’t out yet.

The picture in question:

The next picture i want to talk about is this one:

Which shows us pre-series Dean also had longer hair but he looks much more masculine in this picture than in the previous one. This fake ID, along with a few others are more evidence for me. Dean has a fake drivers license where the sex reads female, and while thats probably a typo, we know that Dean and Sam’s fake IDs have been good enough to fool hundreds of people, so they have to be good fake IDs - meaning typos shouldn’t happen.

Also in the pilot episode, a cop asks Dean “you have anything that’s real?” And Dean jokingly replies “My boobs.”

And while i know that this line is intended as a joke, i also know that Dean uses humor to tell the truth sometimes. He will joke about something when he can’t talk seriously about it. We see examples of this all over season one, when Sam is grieving Jess. But as a trans person myself i also joke about my chest (to an extent, i personally dont like to bring attention to it), and it’s in Dean’s character to do that too. (I also want to mention that if i had just finished healing from top surgery and someone asked me that question i would probably say the same thing, just because its fun to finally say you dont have boobs anymore - and i also think dean got top surgery immediately pre-series, which is another reason for him to be away from John for so long and to have “lost” him)

During the three first seasons, we never see Dean’s naked chest - i believe there’s only one time in season 3 during Mystery Spot where we see his shoulder in the shower, but not his chest - which i think could be a way to hide top surgery scars. It’s only after he comes back to life in season 4 that we see his naked chest, where he’s confused by the absence of (hellhound) scars because Castiel healed him - also this could be a place where you could say Dean got bottom surgery, i.e., Castiel gave him a dick/fully functioning biologically male genitalia.

In season 4, the episode “Monster Movie” he says he’s been “re-hymenated” which is another joke, but also I don’t know of a single man who knows what a hymen actually is, much less a man who would actually say that to convey his virginity status.

Also the way the man dresses. I mean, he’s so hyper masculine that it feels like an extreme overcorrection. I did the same thing when i came out. He wears plaid, henleys, and jeans under big leather and army jackets. The man wears layers like he’s hiding three tits under there.

For the sex argument, all i have to say is toys (or the aforementioned holy bottom surgery). If Dean wants to fuck someone he can wear a strap on. Its not that difficult. We never see him naked below the waist so he could be wearing one, you dont know. Also does it matter what his genitals really look like? No. We never see them so its all just speculation.

I know dean isnt trans in canon because he’s fathered a child (Emma in season 7) and apparently the explanation of magic doesn’t explain how that can be possible between two biological women (eggs and uteruses).

Anyway. There are plenty of reasons that Dean can be trans. Sorry this was so long. I posted something similar to this and someone thought i was being transphobic i guess? So i wanted to try again with the added preface of “this is my opinion/headcanon and you dont have to think I’m right” to hopefully deter people from saying I’m being insensitive.

So yeah trans Dean, i love it and i wish the cw or any tv network had the guts to actually do that, even if the actor is cis, i dont care i just want a trans character. Thank you and good night

[lumiidragon]

So I’ve been on a bit of a break which is why I’ve been pretty MIA, so sorry about that!  but I finally got to watch Season 7 of TNR and I can finally put my own review on it~! Please note that this contains spoilers, so if you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading here!

So I’ll start with my season issues before its good points. First off, the dragon secret is out to ICARUS and it was...incredibly lack luster. We had a 1 month time jump and the big reveal of dragons was rather...anti-climatic. I was really expecting a bit more from that, but oh well. Also, in the first episode, we get to finally see nadders, but they’re all hyper aggressive and it’s the only way we get to see them. They don’t show up again. Sad on that one. Next, of course is Thunder’s “alpha”-type thing he did to stop the nadders. I REALLY hope it was just a dominance stance as in “I’m tough and I’m being loud, so back off” and not “Thunder’s becoming the new alpha like Toothless” or else he is going to lose serious character points from me. It’d make literally no sense, especially since he nor his family are obviously alpha’s of all dragons and an alpha status isn’t some unlockable ability, it’s earned.

So the next thing and probably my biggest issue with this (especially those of you who know me will know I was going to have issues with this) BUT THEY KILLED THE FUCKING DEATHGRIPPERS. YES. THEY. KILLED. THEM. The deathgrippers are the ONLY dragons that got this treatment and that is actual bullshit. Oh, and if I hear literally anyone say “BUT THE DEATHRGIPPERS WERE BAD AND EVIL AND BLAH BLAH BLAH, my eyes are literally going to roll into the back of my head so far that I am going to make actual eye contact with the demon that controls the meat puppet that is my body. I don’t want to hear this comment because they are WILD ANIMALS and literally an animal cannot be good or evil please stop pushing that onto the dragons because that is an incredibly toxic and harmful way to view an animal species. So yeah, this alone knocked off a LOT of points from me because there was actually no reason for them to do this.

My 2nd biggest issue is OH MY GOD CAN THUNDER STOP BEING A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. The whole poison dart episode was the worst and it was so eye rolling that I could hardly enjoy it. We get it, Thunder needs special attention and saved every other episode. Let’s move past it because it’s so boring that it’s starting to hurt his character for me.

My last big issue is that for a season that introduces the Realm of Giants, we...didn’t see the realm??? What was the point of that? We saw hardly any of it and though we got the Octofin and the Shellfire, we didn’t get to see much else. Of course, I didn’t get my bewilderbeast either, so that’s a bummer.

My last petty, but still an issue is that they’re starting to force this Tom and Jun romance. I’m not against there being a romance, especially for these two, but it’s starting to feel more like a “Hey, here’s a main male and female character, so let’s make sure they have apparent crushes on each other for reasons” instead of working up a more believable romance.

As for good points, characters outside of Tom are getting some good development and D’Angelo is quickly rising to my top favorite character. Jun, also being my least and actually disliked character starting out is starting to really build and I actually like her a lot more now. Also, the humor in this series has also gotten a lot better, too. I’m loving it.

I think the BEST points for this season are the villains, however. Actions are starting to have real consequences and are things that can’t be solved in just a single day with a teenager’s big idea. Also Buzzsaw is FINALLY worth having in the series. He’s becoming a much more formidable villain who is doing actual damage and thus making his time in the series much more interesting. The cliffhanger for the series is the best one so far. Sledkin is also becoming a very enjoyable villain instead of just the “shady co-worker”. And Dagur being canon means that RTTE is canon to TNR, so that is AMAZING.

All in all, I give this season a 7/10. It’s shaping up nicely, but the deathgripper deaths and thunder hurt it a lot.

[fairypoop]

DESIRE

18+‼️ JAVIER PEÑA X F READER

~ This is my first story/one shot I hope you like it 😤 ~

(Based on season 1/2 of the series Narcos)

*Its your first day and you meet a man you can’t keep your eyes off, staying late after work definitely has its benefits…*

Waking up and getting ready for work may be the one thing you dread the most, the exhaustion you feel applying your makeup. But no matter how exhausting it may be, you have to look good for your first day on the job.

“Fuck!! I’m gonna be late!” Taking one last look at your dazzling self in the mirror, you head off to work.

Back in America, you never had missions as tough as tracking down Pablo Escobar, Columbia was very different, and you were always up for a challenge, but god was it hard.

As you enter the building you look to your right, your eyes meet with the one and only Javier Peña, the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, his eyes slide up and down your body, and it feels good. You purposefully chose an extra short and extra tight mini skirt for the day, along with a black button down shirt, tucked in with the top buttons undone, glamourising your breasts, making sure javier gets the best view, you’re prone to being slutty when you wanted to be.

* ‘She is beautiful’ Javier thinks to himself, not being able to take his mind off of you. Of course, he can’t stop thinking of you, when your Jimmy Choos stepped into the office he was hooked. Your elegance, sophistication, and cigarette hanging out of your mouth was enough to leave him drooling. You were enough to distract him from the fact that he’d have to be working late, after hours, the most draining experience there is, not even Steve would be there to accompany him since his new child had come along. He couldn’t believe the new member of the team could be so beautiful, and such a distraction, and he couldn’t wait to get to know you better. *

Unfortunately for you, you too had to be working late, since you were new you decided you needed to catch up, what you didn’t know was that you would have Javier Peña to accompany you.

“Bye Steve, don’t forget to keep me updated with baby photos” you smile as Steve grabs his things to leave for the end of the day. “Of course y/n, phone me if you need help with anything” Steve suggests, smiling to you on his way out. “Will do!” You shout back, frowning to yourself as you take in the piles of work that lay in front of you. ‘It’ll be fine’ you reassure yourself as you slide back in your chair, going through paper after paper.

Suddenly, you hear movement from the other side of the room and jolt back in terror, to find none other than the man himself, Javier Peña, sitting directly opposite to you, also sat behind piles of stacked up work. You smile to him, and he winks back.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced cariño, I’m Javier Peña, and you are?” “Im y/n y/l/n, pleasure to meet you honey” you respond, eager to be indulging in a conversation.

You can’t believe you are in a room alone with this man, you don’t trust yourself. ‘Keep it together girl’ you remind yourself, and you try, but the sight of that man causes all of the feminism to leave your body, his looks are lethal, and it’s driving you crazy.

After hours of sitting in silence, with the occasional keyboard taps and pen clicks, Javier finally eases some of the tension. “How would you like some whisky to ease your head from all the work, God knows I need it.”

“Hell yes I could go for some whisky right now” you respond, a bit too eagerly, letting him pour out two glasses of straight whisky into glasses, clinking them together as he gets up from his seat and hands you yours. He sits himself down on Steve’s chair, directly next to you, he man spreads and with one look there are butterflies all over your body.

“So, where are you from?” He asks. “I’m from Chicago, I got transferred here to work on the Escobar case with you and Steve” you smile, “I’m looking forward to working with you” Javier says in a teasing tone. “Have you visited anywhere in Columbia since you’ve been here?” The questions keep coming, and eventually you two form a kind of friendship, laughing at the dirty jokes that corrupt Javier’s mind, and solemnly smiling at memories you share with him, and the ones he share with you.

Eventually, after an hour or so of laughing, and drinking, the two of you look at each other “You are so beautiful cariño” Javier whispers seductively in your ear, you could cut the tension with a knife. “You aren’t too bad yourself huh” you whisper back. All of a sudden, lights turn on in the office behind you, it’s your boss. ‘Great’ you think to yourself’, ‘just as things were getting good. With a disappointed face, Javier brings his bottle of whiskey back to his desk, sitting back down in his secluded area. Your eyes meet his, and along with yours, his eyes are full of lust, a wishing for what could have been until your boss entered their office.

You could feel a hunger build up in you, and the next thing you knew you were walking towards Javier’s desk, letting him whisper sweet nothings in your ear, you may have not known him for long, but your desperation for him had grown dangerously strong. You lean on his desk, exposing you cleavage and let him take in the view, leaving him drooling, and horny. He lifts your head up with his finger, looking from your eyes to your lips. “I hope our boss doesn’t see this, my cariño, but I can’t help myself,” his lips latch on to yours, your tongues moving in swift motions, letting him taste all of you, his hand grips the back of your head, desperate for more and you want him to take you right then and there, but you know that you can’t, so you let it stop. Both of you are breathless as you look to one another. You look towards the bosses room, and then back to his secluded office, and without a second thought, you get on your knees below his desk and out of sight, letting his eyes pry on yours, and you feel his bulge with your hands, and it’s big, so so big, it’s bulging with need as you fist it, his head tilting back. “I need you cariño, I need you right now!” He exclaims in a whisper, breathless. “Manners” “Please baby please,” he looks at you with desperation, you need him as much as he needs you.

You unbutton his pants, almost ripping off the buttons, you can’t hide how much you need to hear his whimpers, you drag down his briefs and his cock emerges, glistening in pre cum, your breath was taken away. ‘Oh my god it’s huge’ you think to yourself, blown away by this man. Without hesitation, you lay your tongue on his cock and stoke it, licking off the pre cum and teasing him, and he can’t take it. “Fuck! Please please please I can’t take it baby!” With your head in his hands, he guides you cautiously, letting you take time to get used to it, and you take his length in your mouth, letting your hands work the rest of him. He throws his head back in awe, breathing heavily and he guides your head up and down his huge cock, until he reaches his limit, coming all over your face, watching you with hunger as you lick the last parts of his cum off his cock. He looks around to make sure no one is watching, and takes you on his lap, letting you feel his still hard cock underneath your mini skirt, kissing you harshly. He asks for your permission to take off your panties, you nod without hesitation, and once he sees this he wastes no time hooking your panties to the side and lining his cock up with your pussy, he slowly lowers you, letting you work at your own pace. You’re overcome with pleasure, needing more, craving more, lowering yourself on his dick and gradually finding a suitable pace, you bounce up and down on his lap, sweat trickling off both of your foreheads, he plays with your clit as his cock slides inside of you, he opens the buttons of you shirt and rips off your bra, revealing you tits bouncing up and down as you experience waves of bliss you have never felt before, that sight alone making him feel like he could cum. The sloppier the thrusts get, the closer you both are to coming, and eventually you both do, you come on his cock and he comes inside of you, the feeling warming up your stomach, and you are left shaking with sensation. He kisses your neck constantly, whispering in your ear “that was amazing.” You feel complete with him, and he feels complete with you, Javier Peña has finally found his match.

Hope you enjoyed xoxo 🫶😻💄💋

I <3 Javier Peña

[faegoddessog]

 Seventy Two Hours of Bliss Ch. 38/41

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

Chapter Warnings: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only, talk about masturbation, separation angst,

Series Masterlist 

Series Summary:

You are neighbors with Austin Butler on the Gold Coast of Australia just prior to shooting Elvis. You become just friends because he is taken. However, after he is single again, you both find out just how attracted you are to one another and things get unrelentingly hot.

SERIES WARNING: Explicitly mature content, 18+ only,  here there be lemons.

Authors Notes: I started writing this while remodeling my kitchen, so that informed the slightly quirky narrative. It starts slow, but once it heats up, it is on fire. I have tried to pull facts from RL as much as I could, but obviously there are some assumptions and flat out dreamy wishes  involved here. 

Chapter 38: Letters from the Ice

8.25.2020

Hey babe! 

So, yay email! Hopefully this will work for us. :) But the internet is SO SLOW. Even with barely anyone here it took 10 min for my email to load. I am told by the winterers that trying to upload a video is all but impossible. But a picture *can* go through. Thank the local deity that we don’t have to super old school it and use carrier penguins! Yay! Well we finally made it to McMurdo. I can’t believe it’s been a whole month since I’ve seen you, well except for the phone calls in Christchurch. It feels like the band aid is really ripped off now. I’m just trying to breathe through it. I hope you are staying busy or at least distracted. I am excited to finally be here after 5 days of delayed flights as is the rest of my group. We’ve taken to calling ourselves a flock. I have no idea why. So I’ve got a room all to myself right now, but we’ll see how many people show up for the mainbody season in October, I may or may not have a roommate. So, there I was trying to get settled and I opened my big suitcase and found the books and the dark chocolate and the candles and the little bottle of essential oil blend. Fuck it smells like you. It made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you baby. This is a classic pic me in front of the station sign. It looks darker than it was, but we only had 4 hours of sunlight and there was a storm coming. Wow, I thought I'd been through blizzards at home. This was nothing compared to what they got here! I’d send you a photo. But it’s literally just white.

I do have a confession to make. You remember that freakin’ hot phone sex we had during my quarantine? Yeah… um.. I recorded the audio, yup, every time. I’m gonna listen to your amazing voice telling me to touch myself. I think I’ll lube up my butt plug you gave me and push it into my ass imagining it’s you. Fuck I miss you. I miss your body next to mine at night and your cock in me in the morning. I love you Aus, I miss you. All the kisses for you. ~Your Kitten

8/26/20

Kitten!!!  I’m so stoked that we still get to keep in touch. Even if only over email. That pic of you in front of the sign feels surreal. I can't even tell it's you with all the layers! The landscape looks so desolate. I’m so glad you found my gifts, that’s just stuff I don’t like to live without, kinda like you. I’m not liking living without you. Although I’m STILL finding post-it notes. You little fiend, putting them in all my clothes. Makes me smile and cry too. I did get some exciting news though. Baz, as you know, has been checking up on me since you left. I really love him, he is such a marvelous soul. Anyway he told me yesterday that we will start rehearsals next week and filming is slated to start up again in mid to late September. Thank God, I gotta have something to focus on other than this empty apartment. I’m just waiting for the rest of the crew to get back in country, then I’ll be too busy to think. Also, I’m gonna talk to your Uncle Roy this week and make sure I can still stay here. Baz says the studio will give me a stipend for the apartment and I’ll just pass that along to him. That reminds me, Kate said she had not seen anything related to us from Marissa’s channel and that she would be willing to have a meeting with her, but she won’t make any guarantees. I have a confession too, I went and developed those couple rolls of film we'd taken. It was so fucking sad that you weren’t there to play with while I waited for them to dry. Anyway, You know how I wasn’t sleeping in our bedroom yet? Well, I put the photos I took of you up all over our bedroom and it finally let me sleep in there alone, although I might’ve cried myself to sleep just a little. When I woke up hard I had those gorgeous pictures of you in that black dress to jerk off to. Fuck you are hot and fuck I miss you so much. Oh my god, just reading that you are fucking your ass with my butt plug has me hard, you are such a naughty Kitten. I might have to keep track of how naughty you are and punish you accordingly when I see you next. I wish you were here to suck this hard cock right now. I think when I finish I’ll stroke myself while looking at those closeups of you and imagine your luscious lips wrapped around me. I’d send you a pic of it, but I’m terrified it could get out somehow. I love you more, I miss you terribly, only 187 more days to go.. Roughly. ~Your Aus

9.20.20

Hello my love,  So how’s things? Are you ready? I’m so excited for you to start filming again. You got this babe! I believe in you! (forehead kisses) There were satellite issues again when I tried to call you last night. I’m so sad we keep getting hosed on our phone calls. Soon you’ll be too busy to take a call from me! We are pretty solidly in the groove of our workday, that’s 6 days a week. I’m on the day shift right now and it’s been a bunch of maintenance checks and rebuilds on buildings and answering calls for service. There is a big build that got delayed due to covid, but we will be starting on that pretty soon. The food is surprisingly good. The galley really loves their themes. Taco Tuesday, Asian Nights, Sunday Brunch. The pizza is pretty good too! It’s not a woodfired oven made by the hands of angels good, but when you want pizza, it’ll do. Made a good group of friends, though we are all weird misfits here it seems. Do you remember when people had to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones? It’s like that here, since there isn’t wifi, not that it would work right. It’s amazing how old school it feels, it’s kind of wonderful. Probably sounds like torture to you my shy, introverted darling.

Most of the people here are guys. It’s like 70/30. I’m the only woman in my department, not like that’s new to me. The first day I showed up for work the foreman asked if I was in the wrong place. They tried to give me shit at first until I out-hammered them all in a nailing race. Just a dumb little competition thing. But it stopped them from fucking with me. Yeah, I know my stuff assholes! Lol! Now we are all good. Except for Joe, I do not like Joe. He just rubs me wrong and won’t let the girl thing go. We may have to have a little come-to-Jesus meeting during which I emasculate him with the claw on my purple hammer! The other women I’ve met have also been surprised by the overall disappointing behavior from some of these guys. There is a saying on the ice- “Antarctica: Full of badass women and mediocre men.” This is true. Not all the guys are that way though, some of them are nice and those are the ones that get laid. Yeah, there are a lot of hookups happening and there are free condoms, like, everywhere. No one here is as interesting or as sexy as my man though. Plus, you spoiled me with not having to use condoms. I miss your skin on mine, I miss your lips on mine, I miss your cock in my mouth. Since I don’t have a roommate yet, I think I’ll light your candle, put on the sexy music playlist we used to fuck to and add some of that EO to my wrists. I’m going to suck on my dildo. I’ll start slow just licking the tip, I’ll imagine your hand in my hair and your sky blue eyes watching every flick of my tongue. I’ll make sure my lips are good and wet before I slide it down my throat. And I’ll be fucking myself with my vibrator, the one that's curved. The only thoughts I'll have in my mind are ‘it’s your cock in my mouth, it’s your hand on my pussy, it’s you, it’s you, it’s you’. I’m gonna cum so hard, moaning around your imagined cock in my mouth, I may have to do it twice. God I miss you. Tell me more about how you jerk off to pictures of me, that is so damn hot. I’m just imagining you stroking yourself, playing with the tip a little. Damn. ~Your Slutty Kitty

 9/22/20

My bad, bad Kitty, I do not know how you do it, but are you aware of how fucking sexy you are? Even just via email you get me so riled up. How do you take the mere 26 letters of the alphabet and make them into these sexy fucking pictures in my head?! I miss my cock in your mouth too, I miss you laying out on the bed with your legs wide and my head buried between them. I don’t have anything to lick and pretend is your pussy, but I promise I will make up for it when I see you next. Oh lord I gotta go take care of this massively hard co

9/22/20

Hey love,  Sorry, I hit send without meaning to! You got me so hot I wasn’t thinking clearly. It didn’t take me long baby, I used that coconut oil from just before you left. The scent totally put me right back there with you on your knees devouring my cock. That reminds me, I need to get that dress dry-cleaned… It’s stopped smelling like you now so… I suppose it’s time. I’m ready- ish, the last 6 months made me feel like all the Elvis sunk into my bones. I’ve been working like a fiend with Baz and Polly and Irene and Erik. They have all commented on how it’s different now, more natural. My day is so full of Elvis again it’s hard to think about anything else. I’m so nervous all over again. I’m waking up at 3 again. I miss you. Not just for the sex baby, but you. You make me better. Please keep trying to call, my PA on set will have my phone when I don’t. I put one of your pics up in my trailer, btw, one of the clothed ones. I kiss my fingers and touch it every time I leave and say hello to it when I come in. People that see me do it still don't know who you are, (Baz and Tom are good secret keepers). That last article with the pics of you and I at the airport really threw them all off. I think Kate told me that the paps were searching the passenger lists for all outgoing planes to Europe that day to see if they could figure out who you were. It's fun to keep them guessing. I totally get the hooking up, happens on set too. People are people. I’m not worried about you Kitten. How’s your demon though… she doin’ ok? Getting out of hand at all… pun intended! Ok, early call in the morning. I love you so much. 160 days +/- ~ton Roi

10.11.20

My darling man,  FUCK I am still riding the high from talking to you last week! I can’t believe I caught you in your trailer too! I’m sorry I couldn’t play sexy games back with you because the phone was too public on my end. I loved you telling me how you were stroking yourself though and how you came on your stomach. I went right back to my room, to rub one out. Damn. Luckily my new roommate was at work. She asked me when she moved in why I had a pic of you and me on the wall by my desk. I told her I was in love with you. It was so funny, she sat down on the couch and started talking about you like we were in middle school. ‘ He’s so dreamy and I hear he broke up with his girlfriend and is dating a French woman!’ “was that the only time you met him?” Oh my god, it was all I could do to not laugh in her face. I’m sorry baby, I had to tell her. I hope you aren’t mad! I still don’t think she believes me, even after I showed her pictures of us (appropriately clothed of course). I appreciate you asking after that sexy bitch in my head. She is doing fine, staying on her lead. None of these people would satisfy her anyway. She’s too far gone for you. :) My daily horniness level has chilled out since I’ve not been getting fucked by you on the regular, though there are times! Oh and fun news! I’m going to be setting up a few field camps in a couple weeks, so I won’t be in touch much after halloween -ish. But I WILL be out on the literal ice. Think warm thoughts for me! At least I will get away from Joe! He is still a dick.

~your naughty Kitten (for different reasons)

10/12/20

Kitten,  Of course I’m not mad! Once you are back I want the whole world to know that you are mine and I am yours. Also, Kate set up a meeting with your cousin Marissa. I talked to her and got her info when I talked to Uncle Roy. (He still refuses to let me pay him.) Kate was impressed by her and is planning on offering her a paid internship. Love you baby, go conquer that ice! ~Aus

(Please read the following letter with a deep southern accent of yore) Twenty fifth day of October in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty My darling Austin, I pray that this electronic mail finds you healthy and hale. I have been feeling dashed about by the trials and travails of my good work here on the deep continent. We no longer are a sleepy little hamlet of a mere 200 people. Oh no! A veritable influx of learned people hath arrived, swelling our little cold town to over 800! The light has arisen indeed as we currently receive a joyful 15 hours of sunlight each blessed day. My dear roommate Tabitha seems to have accepted the love that exists between us, my dear Austin, since she overheard our delightful conversation on the telephone a scant few days ago. Indeed it seems she has spread our information to the other members of the kitchen staff as one of the good ladies asked me about it the other day as I procured my nourishment. The person in question didn’t know you, but was happy to know I was dating someone, since apparently the rumor had been circulating that I was a person uninterested, sexually that is. The very idea! My darling Austin, I shall be leaving in two days time for my quest on the ice. It will be my pleasure to erect structures providing temporary shelter from which the good men and women of science may illicit new and exciting information about this oft times perplexing world that humanity calls home. And before you query, yes, I must confess my dear Mr. Butler, I have been imbibing in the devil's drink and yes my loins still burn for you. Pray for me, dear man, that I may endure such hardships that may come and be delivered forthwith into your awaiting arms. With all my love and tenderness. Miss Kitten P.S. Sorry about drunk-as-fuck girl up there, she is just being silly. Can’t wait to fuck your brains out again! Love you -She Demon

10/26/20

Kitten,  You are so weird. I fucking love it and you. I’m so glad you are mine. Filming is so far so good. I barely have time to think, which is perfect. Also, I was eating a mango in the kitchen last night. You know how you cut the side off and score it then turn it inside out? Well, I decided just to eat it off the rind like that, instead of cut the chunks out. And all of a sudden it was like eating your dripping pussy. I am slightly ashamed to say that I dropped my pants right there and jerked off with the coconut oil. The juice was dripping down my chin and chest and onto my cock. Oh, My. God. It was the best one yet. I’ll have to do it for you (to you?) when you get back. Needless to say, a whole new world has opened up to me. I WILL be buying more mangoes. I may not be able to see one without getting aroused from here on out. I think I’ll go have the other half now…

Good luck doing bang! bang! construction things on the ice! Stay safe and warm. I’ll talk to you when you get back. Forever yours- Austin

10.27.20

Aus-  Oh, Mangoes… Damn. Now I fucking want mangoes. Freshies are like currency down here, I haven’t seen a mango though. Just so you know, that last letter was a bet between me and Tabs. We did karaoke that night and I got a little sloshed and started talking in accents. She didn’t think I would do it. Lol! I tried calling you a few min ago, but no answer. I’m leaving in an hour. I’ll email and try to call when I’m back! Oh and come to find out that Joe thought he was flirting with me the whole time, he likes me. Was about to pull my pigtails, I suspect. Boys are so weird. I confronted him and he confessed he was crushing on me pretty hard. I told him about you ( not by name) and that I wasn’t available (plus I would fucking break him). He seems to have backed off and will hopefully treat me like a person. So yay! Growth! Love you tons, Tally ho! Kitten

10/28/20

Darling,  It breaks my heart that I missed hearing your voice. I really needed it too. We filmed some gut wrenching stuff this week and I just needed you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Austin 124 +/-

 11.22.20

Sweet, sweet man, I love you too! I’m sorry you had a tough week and I wasn’t there for you. I promise after this, I will never be more than a text away from you again. I hope it’s gotten better! I’m going to try calling tonight when I get off work. Thank god I’m back though! We had a crazy, crazy time. We got caught in a freak storm at Amundsen-Scott. We were supposed to be there for like a day to get supplies and such. We ended up there for 5 days! But after that things cleared up, it was amazing. We set up 5 different camps. Everything from simple temporary polar escapes on wooden platforms to actual shelters that will have to stand up for the rest of the season if not longer. One was at a penguin rookery! They were adorable and came right up to us! Miss you love, hopefully we will talk soon! ~Kitten

11/23/20

Babe,  Those pictures with you and the penguins are unreal! I can't believe they just walked up to you. It blows my mind that anything can live down there. How are things with Joe? Did he actually change his behavior? I would say ‘do you need me to come down there?’ but I know you got this, my amazing, strong sexy beast of a woman. I hope I can pick up when you call next. Missing hearing your voice broke my heart. ~Aus 98+/- (Why is this taking so damn long! You should be in my arms.)

 12.14.20

Dear darling Austin, Thank god we got to talk last week, I was really worried about you. Digging into the pain about your mom… I just wish I was there to hold you tight, like she would’ve been. I know I didn’t know her, but from everything you’ve said, I know I would have adored her. (hugs, hugs and more hugs) I got your package yesterday! I opened it without thinking, thank god all the things in it were wrapped! Except for the mangoes… fuck baby. They are perfectly ripe right now, if a little frozen. I’m gonna go eat some mango pussy. Would you like that? watching me eat pussy….

Did you get my package yet? It might be a bit silly. But you can open it when you get it. :) We have been digging into this new building since I got back. The guys worked on all the steel pieces and I’m lead on the framing team. It’s definitely different from what I’ve been used to doing. But I’m finding that all my skills are actually helpful because I know the pieces that come next, so I don’t let the crew fuck things up for the electricians and plumbers and drywallers that will be coming behind us in the future. I miss you baby, I know we keep saying that to each other, so much that it’s like saying something over and over again and the shape of it feels odd in your mouth all of a sudden. But even though I have made great friends here and am in a routine that pulls me from day to day, it would be perfect if you were here with me. With you on my arm, no one would try to pull my pigtails! Love you with all my heart ~Kitten

12/25/20

Baby Doll,  Merry Christmas!! Babe, I did get your package, and I didn’t open in until this morning. Why would you say it’s silly? It’s amazing. You painted this? I am going to take it in and have it framed so I can hang it up. Wow. If you ever wanted to stop doing construction, you could be a professional artist. Tom and Rita have invited a bunch of us up to their place for dinner. I’m about to go get ready but just wanted to tell you that yes, I get it. Saying it gets old, but it doesn't mean we don’t feel it still. Yeah, mom would’ve adored you right back. I fucking miss you. I fucking love you. And holy fuck yes on watching you eat pussy, mango or otherwise.

66 days +/- (can we make time move faster?) ~Your own personal elf- Austin

12.25.20

Dear Austin,  Merry Christmas!! I loved your gifts, they are perfect for here! Lip balm and sunscreen and the warmest, silliest socks. That mini humidifier is sitting on my bedside table as we speak! The running gloves for under my big ones are going to be a game changer! Now I can do fiddly bits without my fingers getting cold! Although it’s a ridiculously balmy 25 degrees Celsius out there right now. I don’t even bring my red parka out right now! Today I joined the Antarctic Polar bear club. Yup I plunged into barely above freezing water in my underwear, no not the unicorn ones, I actually had some polar bear ones I brought just for this! I was nothing if not on theme! It was fucking cold. And exhilarating! But I’m not sure I want to do it again. Luckily we went right into the sauna to warm up! Love you ever so much, give Tom and Rita my love! ~Your Xmas Kitten

1/1/21

My sweet Kitten, Thank you for the phone call, oh my god I needed it. I’m feeling so worn out, even though we kinda had this week off and I’ve been just sleeping as much as I can and going to the beach with other cast members, it’s just not the same without my best girl next to me. (that’s you, btw) I wish I had you with me last night to kiss. I did end up kissing Olivia, but it was just a new years eve peck thing, plus it’s not like we’ve not kissed on set. Is that weird for you? I’ve never asked you about it. Love you so much, it hurts. I def need a kiss on my heart. 59 days +/- ~Yours, Austin

1.3.21

Austin, When I see you, you are gonna get all the kisses on every part of you. Real talk babe: where I’d like to be there to remind you what my kisses are like and reap the benefits if you get turned on, kissing on set doesn't bug me, that’s just part of acting. Didn’t Elvis kiss like all the girls in the audience? Super-spreader much? Ha! TBH, I pecked a few people too when we counted down to midnight. How do you feel about that? Wow, that looks super passive aggressive. I’m def not meaning it that way. Just wondering cuz we’ve never talked about it and I don’t think our games with Loki or ‘the guy from Brisbane’ count as talking about it! Now actually making out with someone like not for work (that’s a crazy sentence right there!)… that we’d def have to talk about. I mean… mostly because I would want to be a part of something hot like that. FOMO!!! On a different note, I sang in Icestock last night. It’s the annual McMurdo music festival. There were comedians and skits and mini plays and bands and a chili cook off! I sang a bunch of stuff with some guys, we had to rehearse on our off time but it was super fun! I had my buddy video it. I’m gonna put it on a USB stick and send it to you, just for fun! There is some other stuff on there too, just for you, including my polar plunge! God we needed a party too. The grind was getting to us all. Yeah we have 24 hours of daylight, but I never knew I’d miss the stars so much! We are about to head into Vessel Season, that means extra people in town, mostly Kiwi and US military, to help unload the massive supply ships. From what I understand we will be pulled to help. I love you baby, soon hunny, soon I miss YOUR kisses ~Kitten

 1/8/21

My darling love, Happy Elvis’ birthday! He would've been 86. We had a huge birthday cake on set today. I don’t really care about pecks like that, plus you are too French for me to get up in arms about that. I do feel the same way you do about making out. If you are gonna make out with someone, I want to be there too. If it’s a girl, I def want to be there. That would be hot. We filmed a kissing scene today between young Elvis and younger Priscilla. It really made me miss you so much. I definitely channeled our first kiss into the work. Remember, on the couch? This might be weird to say, but no one kisses me like you do. Love and miss you, 52 days +/- ~Aus

1/25/21

Kitten,  Honey, I have a confession. We were rehearsing one of the big shows where Elvis goes into the audience and kisses all the girls. I had to talk my own demon out of taking home an extra and fucking her silly. She looked just enough like you and she was staring at me all dreamy eyed when I was on stage. Then I had to kiss all these women in the audience and I was all worked up. I’m sorry babe, know that I didn’t do anything or even talk to her. But we talked about being honest with one another and I feel better with you knowing. No I’m not asking if I can do anything with her, it was just like a perfect storm to turn me on. Honestly I’ve been too exhausted and terrified to really feel horny lately, so it kinda took me by surprise. I’m so sorry if this makes you mad. Know I love you and I’m not gonna do anything to screw up what we have. ~Austin 35 days +/- (I can wait, I swear)

1.26.21

Babe,  Love you, not mad. Will respond more when I have time! ~Your best girl

1.31.21

Ok my love,  First of all, I’m sorry this took so long to reply to. It’s been so busy here I’ve not had time. Secondly, I’m not mad. You are human, despite your intrusive thoughts to the contrary. Being attracted to people is just a part of being human. It actually feels really good that you were comfy enough to tell me how you are feeling. Thank you for trusting me. I have this ideal thought in my head that I’d want to be cool with a sorta semi-permeable relationship. Like yeah, making out with a women with you would be hot… fuck I think making out with a man with you would blow my fucking mind. (would you be down for that? Kissing a guy?) But I know I’m not cool with either of us just fucking others at will, at least not when we are this far away. How could you reclaim me, or I you, when these miles exist between us? Share someone with you? Sure, but we need to actually sit down and talk about it face to face. When I'm back and we’ve talked and you and I have had our fill of one another, if that girl is game and we get along… I’m down to try it out, baby. If you are even interested in that. There are a few cute Airmen here, but my demon seems to be slumbering. Remember, the less I get the less I want it. It could also be the fucking 10-12 hour days we’ve been putting in! Which is VERY different from fucking 10-12 hours a day.  Remember our first 72 hours? Damn that was amazing. I love you baby, now and forever, Your lover- Kitten

2/4/21

Amazing woman of my dreams,  How are you so fucking cool, do you know how hard I had to work to get my other gf’s to be cool about kissing on set, let alone talk about sharing a person. This whole thing makes me love you even more. How do I feel about kissing a guy? I think it depends on the guy. But it doesn’t squick me out or anything. Honestly right now, if it meant getting to hold you in my arms, I’d do it and more in a heartbeat. And for the record, I don’t think I could ever ‘get my fill’ of you babe. I love you so much, 25 days +/- (is that fucking real, only 25 days???) Devoted to you- Austin

2.25.21

Babe,  Oh my god! I am so done helping unload and reload ships! Give me my fucking hammer and let me pound something! So I have some shitty news. Y’know how, on the phone we were talking about my departure date being end of February and being back with you by March 1st. Well, I got my departure date, it’s not until March 10th, and I can’t move it up. They even offered me a bonus to stay overwinter, but I declined. As cool as it’s been I need to get off the ice and into your arms. So I won't be back on the Gold Coast until March 12th at the earliest. I don’t know if I have to quarantine. I have to arrange for my stuff to be shipped to Greece in that time as well. You say you have to leave for London mid March. I’m freaking out that I might miss you. I’m gonna try to call tomorrow so we can talk about it. Fuck this sucks, Love you so much ~Kitten

[brainrotlesbian]

Cannibalism in Tokyo Ghoul

Now. I don’t regularly watch anime but I have seen a few and there’s one (Tokyo Ghoul) that I think about regularly, and it’s not even just that it’s pretty fucking whumpy (cause holy hell it is), but mostly cause of Hide, and the potential he had both as a character and with his relationship with Kaneki. I wanna talk about the cannibalism aspect. Yes, sometimes cannibalism has this romantic undertone, and that is something I think was sorely missed out on.

There are a few moments where cannibalism is an incredibly intimate thing. There’s one guy (forgot his name, I’m terrible with names) who is injured and requires human meat in order to heal, and he has a human girlfriend who offers herself as that meal, and so he takes a bite out of her shoulder and it brings them closer together. Hell, a ghoul wedding involves the two biting each other so deep the marks remain (which is kinky as all hell but besides the point).

But with Hide and Kaneki, things are a bit different cause Kaneki was born human and only became a ghoul after unethical experimentation following an attack by the most vicious ghoul in the city, so there’s the “I can’t let him know I’m a monster now” aspect in the series. A lot of season 1 involves Kaneki both trying to protect Hide from any attackers, now that he’s a prime target, and trying to keep Hide from figuring out he’s a ghoul now. Of course with season 2, the anime is different than the manga and for the life of me I can’t read manga, so all info about what happens then is secondhand (shoutout to my cousin for infodumping about it).

Kaneki goes nuts from cannibalizing other ghouls, transforming into this horrible centipede monster a lá Metamorphosis, and the only way to placate the effects of this transformation is to eat human meat, but Kaneki still has a bunch of angst regarding that (understandable), so while there is a veritable war between ghouls and humans, he’s hiding in the sewers. During that time, he’s approached by Hide, who informs him that he’s known Kaneki was a ghoul almost the whole time, and that he knows what needs to be done to help his friend.

Hide offers up his body, literally, and almost his life in order to help Kaneki regain his sanity. He comes to his friend, who’s lost his mind, and tells him that he’s always accepted him for who he is and that he doesn’t judge him, and allows Kaneki to take what he must. And the next time we see Hide, or, rather, when we see his face, we see his lips, lower jaw, and neck were consumed. Which is an odd area to be missing. Why would Kaneki go for that area? There certainly wouldn’t be as much meat in that area as there would be in other areas, like the forearm or the calf (not to mention the complications Hide suffered from the loss of his lower jaw and vocal cords), and the lips and neck area are typically a very intimate area to be putting your mouth, especially if it’s just a friend. And then there’s… nothing. It goes no where.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Touka (I’m not gonna be misogynistic about her) but I feel her relationship with Kaneki was better if she was kept as a sisterly figure to him, rather than a lover. Yes, she obviously cares about Kaneki, but their romance felt forced on my opinion (also the smut was a little unnecessary)

I do not have the words to properly express my feelings about this and I believe that the symbolism of cannibalism within Tokyo Ghoul shows some really intimate moments and a deep connection between those involved. There’s no other moments in the show, that I’ve seen, where a character consensually cannibalizes another and it’s a platonic or casual thing (no, I don’t think Kaneki cannibalizing Yamori was supposed to be romantic. That was revenge and to show that he snapped). Why was it romance for the m/f pairings but purely platonic between Hide and Kaneki?

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Moment's Surprise--Chapter 14

Whether it’s called an accident or the fates of the universe, you and Calum find yourselves taking on the next level of your relationship: parenthood.

Reader (Gender Neutral) X Calum. Multi-chapter Series.

Series Note: Across this series, pregnancy is discussed thoroughly. While I have made this series specifically a reader insert and have done my best to avoid coding for cis women, I am taking this moment to acknowledge that this content may not be suitable for every reader. I want to acknowledge even if I’ve been careful some things (like uteri) are still mentioned and if that causes you discomfort please DO NOT read this. You may keep scrolling (as there is a read more) / skip this series as necessary.

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7| Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Epilogue

Joy returns to the living room, refilled glasses in her hand. In the months that she’s stayed with you, the two of you have obtained a ritual. While the weekdays can feel like a whirlwind, you two still try to build a space in the evenings that are a bit slower. And over the last five months, you and Joy make an evening ritual of watching at least one episode of a show together. A Korean romantic drama currently holds your two attention and while sometimes the antics felt overdramatic, the laughs were more than welcomed. The weekends, when they are not filled with errands, are dedicated to either a maximum of three episodes or a couple movies. It’s nice to have a space for just the two of you to bond. 

This weekend is no exception. You and Joy have agreed to finish out the season as there are only two episodes left. Between the first and second episode, there is a small snack break. And you need it. The last week or so a background feeling of being uncomfortable had settled. Though you had managed to continue on with your daily life and tasks, today just seems to be the day that the feeling cannot be ignored. The break had given you a chance to get up, as a struggle that it was, and walk around. But now that you were settling back in for the last episode of the show, you had a feeling that the sort of discomfort should be something that you vocalized more. 

Your due date was still two weeks out. And even though you’d told Calum it was just an estimate, you still used it as a sort of benchmark. Two weeks wasn’t terribly early, but you didn’t want to believe anything would happen just yet. There was still time. “You’re sure you’re okay?” Joy asks, watching you readjust yet again in your spot on the couch. 

You nod. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

She holds her gaze on you for a moment longer. Your brows seem to be wrinkled just ever so slightly at the middle of your forehead and they’ve been that way for the last couple hours as well. She didn’t want to suspect anything was wrong, but Joy also knows that the thing can’t dismiss is her own gut. “Let me know if that changes, alright?”

“Of course,” you return, “you know that.” You hit play and the show’s introduction and theme song cues up around you. 

It’s silly. It’s ridiculous. But as much as you felt like not yourself in the last few weeks of your pregnancy, the reality of giving birth and becoming a parent frightened you. What if you fucked it all up? What if you weren’t cut out to be a parent? All the books and sessions couldn’t truly override the fear that creeps up. What if it all fell apart on you before you even had the chance to feel like you had it together in the first place?The episode doesn’t even settle into your brain as it goes. You’re too caught up in the spiral of your thoughts. And like a pinch, your stomach hints at a twinge of pain. 

“It’s okay, just breathe, dear.”

You know it’s Joy. Her touch is soft and reassuring. But your own heart races in your ears. Your blood thumps against your veins, jumping at your neck. Could it all really happen right now?

“Just breathe,” Joy softly commands. 

You take in a breath, letting it slide in through your nostrils and when you exhale you let it all slip out over your tongue and lips. It feels easy enough but the seconds continue and the pain doesn’t exactly stop. You repeat the action, inhaling and exhaling. 

“That’s it,” Joy praises. She waits for the confirmation that the contraction has passed before she moves towards the coffee table. Her fingers are steady as she dials Calum’s number. The phone rings and rings and rings in her ears. The voicemail picks up and Joy leaves a brief message, knowing that she will call back again. The next call is to your doula. This time the phone connects and Joy talks calmly. You listen in on the evenness to her voice, the accent that colors her words and it’s a small wave of peace. 

_________________

Calum’s phone rings from the right of Michael. It’s the second time it’s rang in the last five minutes. He halfway wonders if he should answer it, knowing he never has previously. But everyone knows Calum’s been on edge. Since the baby shower, getting him to settle longer than ten minutes before he’s checking his phone has been hard if he’s out without you. Michael understands it the most.  Calum just doesn’t want to miss anything, he wants to be there after having been away for so much of your pregnancy. 

Before Michael can settle his internal debate, the door to the room opens and Michael looks up to see Calum returning from the restroom. “Your phone’s rang twice since you left, mate,” Michael states, lifting the device up off the table.

 Though it is a weekend, and the guys agreed not to let the band interfere too much with personal time off, the weekend was the only time Calum left okay enough to leave you, since he knew his mum would be there with you. So the guys worked around it for the time being. In all honesty, it hadn’t mattered at all until it came to vocal sessions which were mostly done individually with the group session sprinkled in and right now. Today only needed to be a couple hours long to review the tour plans, the set, lightning and ensure that everyone was squared away for the Oceania dates starting up. 

Calum nods as he takes his phone. “Thanks.”

He sees the two missed calls and voicemail from his mother. And in that moment, Calum’s barely thinking about the meeting still left. He calls his mother back, head swiveling to see where he set down his keys. They’d been in his pockets but he took them out he remembers at one point in the day. “Mum?” Calum states once he hears the split second of the call connecting. There’s a shaky edge to his voice that even rattles his own ears. 

“Hi, love. Did you get my voicemail?”

Calum shakes his head. “No, no, I-I just called back when I saw you called twice. Is everything alright?”

Ashton gives a small whistle after noticing the panic swivel of Calum’s head. Calum snaps his head up in the direction and his keys come arching through the air at him from the gentle toss Ashton gives them. His mother’s voice floats in through the phone even and calm. “How fast can you get home?”

“I can leave now. What’s going on?”

“I don’t want your blood pressure to go through the roof,” she teases. “But thank your stars.”

“Are they in labor?” Calum asks aloud, tucking his phone between his shoulder to keep it pressed to his ear. He pats his back pocket and he’s still got his wallet where he left it. Calum’s fingertips feel like they are buzzing. The entire room snaps to Calum. They’d been listening in a polite way. Where one looks away and tries to actively tune out the conversation. But the word ‘labor’ causes everyone to tune into what Calum’s saying. 

“Yes, son, it’s still early on. So we’ve got some time. I’m finalizing the hospital bag.” The moment his mother finishes the sentence Calum’s turning on his heel back towards the door. “The doula’s on her way. Things are okay on this end.”

“I’m on my way,” he answers. 

“Drive safe, Calum. They’re going to be okay. I’ve got them. Promise.”

The buzzing crept up his arms, and his head started to swim. Panic. Calum knows the signs of the fear flooding his body. Recently the signs and the fear have plagued him more consistently than before. But the promise, the sincere weight of his mother’s words to ease the fear she knows is consuming him, puts a pause on the building fear. “Thanks, Mum. I’ll be home soon.”

“Of course. See you when you get here.”

The call ends and Calum slips the phone into his back pocket, fingers finding the keys and fob to his car as his feet cross over the threshold. The hallway suddenly feels endless, but Calum keeps putting one foot in front of the other. 

“We’re getting baby Hood or what?” The voice echoes and Calum pauses to look back. All three of the boys are spilling out of the room. Ashton paused two steps from the door and Michael and Luke crowd around him. “Is it really happening?” Ashton asks. His smile breaks out across his face bright and wide. All of them hold wide grins on their faces. 

The sight makes Calum smile too. A bit more of the fear is pushed down, his head feels less like he’s swimming. “It’s really happening,” Calum answers, his voice carries down too. 

“Oh my god!” Michael screeches. He bolts down the hall and collides into Calum’s chest. “Tell them we’ll be there once you give us the all clear,” his voice is soft as he speaks. 

Calum returns the embrace, tight, but quick. Hands pat backs and the slap is a slight echo up each of their chests. “You guys will be one of the first to know. Promise.”

The two men separate and Michael gently shoves Calum along. “Go, man, go! You have a baby to meet!”

“I’m going, I’m going,” Calum laughs in return. He takes a step down towards the exit doors. 

“You’re not going fast enough,” Michael huffs. “Run! Go!”

In a light jog, Calum carries his body down the hallway, throwing one last wave back at his friends. “Love you guys!”

“Love you too!” The trio choruses back. 

Where Calum’s drive home, longer than he would ever want thanks to traffic, is a mixture of frustration and excitement, the second Calum steps into the house he is relieved to only seem calm. You are pacing, the distinct heavy sigh of your sustained breathing cuts through the low volume of the TV. But there’s very little panic. A couple bags are nestled next to the door and Calum’s attention snaps down to the Duke closing in around his feet. Calum watches as Duke walks over to him, big eyes staring up at him and then looking over to you. 

“I know,” Calum states to Duke. “That's why I’m here, big guy. I got ‘em, okay? Promise.” Calum’s careful as he approaches you, one not wanting to startle you and two because even though everything in him wants to comfort you, he knows there are somethings he will just never be able to understand. 

“Baby, I’m here, okay? What do you need from me?” he asks gently. He’s half aware  that getting the bags into the car is probably a priority. He hasn’t spotted his mother yet, but all he really wants and cares to focus on is you. 

You complete the lap across the living room to him and rest your head on his shoulder. “They’re not too bad right now-the contractions. I just, I’m scared now too.”

He hums, dropping his head a little to rest against yours. “It’s okay to be scared. Fear in some ways means progress.”

You nod again. “Pacing helps for now.”

“Let me get the bags into the car and we can pace, okay?”

“I’ve got the bags,” his mother states. He’s not sure when she came up or where she came from. He only nods and keeps his attention on you. He doesn’t even worry something might be missing from the bags. There's a checklist for the checklists and Calum knows Joy won’t let the two of you falter at this moment, not in the slightest. Calum sways as you sway. He breathes as you breathe and having the mirror keeps you focused. Though there’s the twinge of fear that creeps up, you keep focused. 

You can put together the drive. After three more laps in the living room, Joy and Calum are able to get you into the car. The neighborhood passes, the highway opens up. You are staring at the back of the cars in front of you, focusing on the license plate numbers as Calum talks next to you. You know you’re responding because you’re laughing. You know you’re aware because you remember how Joy kissed your forehead and promised she’d be there at the birthing center soon to meet you two and her first grandbaby after she got Duke settled. You know you’re aware because even you poke fun at how Calum raced to get home but couldn’t at least snag one of the boys to get Duke like they had agreed to do, though you know the agreement really was that the boys would alternate on who would check up on Duke while the three of you were away.  

But no amount of breathing and reading off licenses and laughter really prepares you for the moment when you’re actively squatting, Calum’s arms hooked through your armpits to hold your weight and your back is up against his chest and you’re swearing you’ve never sweated so much in your entire life. Because even as the contraction does subside, though the relief won’t really be long, you know just on the other side of this is actually rearing a child. It’s actually real. And how can it all be real in the thick fog of sweat, and groans, and breathing? How could it all be real?

“I’m here, okay? I’m here,” Calum whispers into your ear. “You’re doing so well, love. You know that?”

Another contraction seizes your response, the gratitude replaced yet again with your breathing to ride through the pain. Calum’s chest expands against your back and you follow it to take the inhale. When his chest decompresses, you follow that lead to exhale. You can’t tell if he’s saying anything else at the moment, but you can feel the gentle brush of his lips against the shell of your ear. 

The squeeze releases its grip from around you. Your head falls back just a bit and Calum doesn’t fight it. He lifts his head to accommodate you and then presses a kiss to your cheek. Now around your tongue aren’t the words thank you, because when you look at Calum you can see even the worry on his one face. “So, how was your day?” you ask in a tease.

Calum laughs, shaking his head. “You don’t get to ask me that. Not right now.”

“Oh why not?” you return. Your grin is brief, mostly because you can feel part of the fatigue trying to settle too thickly on you. 

“You’re literally giving birth. I don’t think anything else matters.”

“Huh, could’ve fooled me.” You’d want to give a shrug, but you can’t, not with the lock Calum has under your arms. But you still try anyway. His smile replaces some of the worry lines. It makes your chest ease up a little at the sight. 

The water is warm and you’re grateful for the small respite as you settle down into it. Time doesn’t really matter but you think how the hours must be crawling by for everyone else. Here though time feels like a foreign concept. Who cares how many hours? Who cares how many days? Who’s counting the seconds? There is only just now. The wall of the pool is thick enough that you do find it steady to recline into, but Calum settles behind you. It’s a comfort, you know he’s close, to hear his voice soothing at the part of your brain still attuned to him. Not that you’ve tuned everything out, you’re just zeroing in. 

The drops and aches and contractions are all alerting you. You want to make sure you can hear it, the call from your body that once you start pushing there will be no stopping. You are zeroed in. You’re thankful that Calum is here and that your doula’s helping and you catch the nurses that pop in to cheer you on, but you are zeroing in. You don’t want to miss it. And you’re not sure you ever would. 

What feels like a fleeting thought becomes a screeching reality. There’s Calum in your ear, softly encouraging you. There’s water lapping around you. There are grunts of exertion and without hesitation, you reach down knowing the head’s beyond crowned. You’d think it’d be harder and it is hard work; it is taking nearly every ounce of consciousness to remember to push but not to go too hard, but there’s something natural about it too. To catch his head and as another push sends him out you gently guide his body up. 

And there is the very real thing in your arms. There are tears stinging behind your eyes and you can’t tell what’s sweat from what’s tears on your face. Not that it matters how separate the two are, because there is the very real thing in your arms. 

“Amiri, look at you,” you coo. A rush of pride fills you, and the laughter turns up into a victorious cry from your lips. Amiri is the very real thing. There’s no room for fear. You love him--instantly, deeply, and fully you love the tiny baby boy in your arms. 

“He’s so small,” Calum laughs from behind you. His hands hover like he wants to touch, but he’s too scared. And then with a rush of braveness, Calum runs his fingers gently over the top of his son’s head. “Hi, Pumpkin.”

“Welcome to the otherside,” your doula says softly. 

__________________________

You watch Calum cradle Amiri to his chest. Amiri’s tiny hands rest near the silver fern tattoo on Calum’s bare chest and from your vantage point, it’s almost like Amiri’s holding the plant. You know the truth, that Calum is utterly obsessed and you are too, but mostly tired. Calum smiles up at you. “I’m whipped. Like I knew it was a high chance before, but god, he’s perfect.”

“You say that because you’ve yet to change a diaper,” you tease. 

“Even his shits will be perfect.” A small tuft of laughter creeps up your chest. You gently run your fingers along Amiri’s back. He hardly stirs at the action, but you don’t mind it. “Thank you,” Calum whispers. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” you state. 

“I do. What you did wasn’t easy and no little task and I so appreciate it. For our little boy. I can’t--” Calum pauses hearing his own voice choke around the words. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

Pressing a kiss to Calum’s lips, you only pull back enough to glance down to Amiri again. “I know, love. I know. I’d do it again for him.”

“So a second child could definitely be on the horizon.”

You laugh besides yourself but nod. “Yes, but you’ll have to be prepared for the second round of, ‘Will you still love me if I shit myself in delivery?’” you state. 

“You didn’t this time,” Calum counters. “And you know I would.”

“Guess I’ll have to get pregnant again to see if you’re really man about your word.”

Calum’s grin is still a tad watery from his tears, but it’s just as bright as before. “Don’t give me any ideas."

Tagging: @busstop @wiiildflowerrr @wonderlandiswhereitsatyo @icelily13 @fandomfoodiedancer @markaylafruitcup @one-sweet-gubler @carma-fanficaddict @sunflowercalum @rosie-posie08

[mollybecameanengineer]

And How Does That Make You Feel?

Summary: Mulder and Scully do couples therapy with Karen Kosseff

word count: 2166 | General | MSR | @today-in-fic

Read on AO3 or check out the beginning below the break

This is part of an episodic series called A Second Chance. All the episodes are collected, in order, using AO3’s series feature. The concept of the series is to rewrite seasons 8 and 9. It deals with Mulder’s return from the dead, the birth of William, and Mulder and Scully trying to juggle family life with impending doom.

If you don’t want to read the whole thing, but want to read this story, here is what you need to know…

Previously on A Second Chance: After returning from the dead, Mulder and Scully moved in together and are planning to raise their baby. In their last case (see: Incubo) they have recently been confronted by their worst nightmares. (She: Mulder goes missing. Him: Scully’s baby isn’t human.) This experience left them both troubled.

When Dr. Karen Kosseff saw the appointment on her calendar, she wasn’t surprised. She’d seen Fox Mulder and Dana Scully separately, a number of times. She pulled both of their files, wanting to go over her notes from their previous sessions.

1994. The first session. When one's partner goes missing or is killed, it’s mandatory to attend a minimum of three counseling sessions. Fox had come to her to fulfill the requirement. His partner had been missing for two months. He didn’t believe she was dead. He was using all his free time to search for her. 

In her notes, Karen noted that he had a possibly unhealthy attachment to his partner. If nothing else, he blamed himself for everything that happened – rather than Duane Barry, the man who had abducted her. 

“You and your partner, you were close?” Karen asked.

Fox bit his lip. “No more so than anyone is with their partner.”

She scribbled down that they may have been in a romantic relationship and were hiding it. This would explain his guilt, and why he was having such trouble letting go.

“You know that everything you say in here is confidential. I’m only bound to report if you are planning to harm yourself or others.”

Fox laughed. It wasn’t a kind sound. “We weren’t fucking, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Karen noted that he was defensive that she had presumed. “I’m sorry. I just–”

“Can we move on?” Fox wasn’t looking at her, but at his hands, which were folded in his lap. 

Karen wrote down that Fox was likely in love with his partner, though it may have been unrequited. “Yes,” she said, “let’s move on.”

That was the only time Fox had come to her office. She’d seen Dana on many more occasions. And after their first session, she knew Fox’s feelings weren’t unrequited, only unconsummated.  

Shuffling through her notes, Karen came upon her most recent sessions with Dana. After Fox went missing, Dana had done her three sessions, and much like Fox, seven years prior, was refusing to give up. She was sure she’d find him, just as he’d found her.

Karen would find it romantic if it weren’t so delusional. 

A few months after the end of her mandatory sessions, Dana appeared again in her office. 

“He’s dead.”

That’s how the session began. Dana told Karen how they found his body. His funeral was a week ago. The tears that Dana hadn’t shed in those first sessions flooded her eyes now. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.” 

Karen handed her a box of tissues. “How does it make you feel? Now that he’s gone, rather than missing?”

Dana laughed. It was a terrible sound. “Sad. Really fucking sad. I had hope. Now…” She shook her head, dismissing something she was about to say.

“Tell me, Dana.”

She let out a sob. “I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. We were together, Mulder and I.”

If the moment weren’t so serious, Karen would have cheered. One of them was finally honest with her. “That’s a very hard thing, Dana. You lost not only your partner, but also your significant other.”

Dana nodded. “And… I’m pregnant. But I never got to tell him.”

Dana had come weekly after that. Karen worked with her through her grief. Tried to help her see a future, where she had her child and was happy. They’d made good progress, then one day she got an email from Dana, canceling her remaining appointments. The email had been brief, only communicating that Fox was alive.

Karen didn’t understand how it could be, but she also didn’t understand a lot of what Fox and Dana told her. She’d wished that Dana hadn’t quit therapy as soon as Fox was back. She’d done the same thing after her cancer went into remission. And while these were both happy times, the trauma of the sad ones can linger. Karen saw PTSD in Scully, and could only assume Mulder suffered similarly. 

So, on that May morning when she opened her schedule to see that she had a joint appointment with Fox and Dana, Karen was happy. Not for herself, but for them. 

Continue on AO3

[cleabellanov]

A (very) different take on "I wanna be your slave" by Måneskin

Do you ever listen to music and it just…hits different?

When listening to “I wanna be your slave”  we suddenly thought of a very specific lawyer.

You probably know the song, and if you don’t, that’s fine, just hear this out for a sec.

Only the second verse in: “I wanna make your heartbeat run like rollercoasters”. Wait, what was that? Heartbeat. That’s a really important theme in the Daredevil series, and Matt has used his heightened senses to track people’s heartbeats more than once. Moving on a few verses forward: “I love you since this morning, not just for aesthetic”. Now, we all know what an aesthetic is, and how it generally refers to people’s appreciation of beautiful things. But Matt can’t exactly see the beautiful things, so that’s not the reason that he loves someone. Speaking of, right the next verse is the daring: “I wanna touch your body, so fuck!ng electric”. Sounds familiar to me! Electric, Elektra, did that make you think of any love interests?

The next section is nothing like our character…I mean, obviously. Until we meet another two beauties. First is “I wanna be your sinner, wanna be a preacher”. It’s not the meaning of the song, we know that, but if we choose to talk about this perspective, it’s in theme with “Lawyer by day, vigilante by night.”. Two statuses opposite of one another, but existing in one person. Alright, maybe we’re taking it too far, but drama loves us here.  Second, we hear : “ ‘Cause baby I’m your David and you’re my Goliath.” I’m your David. In the Bible, David was a young boy who, despite his physical weakness, managed to win the fight against Goliath: a fierce soldier. Why? Because he had God by his side. Again, this sounds familiar when talking about seasons 1 and 2, when we see him apparently helpless in front of bigger, stronger men, but still persevering.

Now we finally get to the chorus, which could not be more specific than it is (keeping this perspective in mind) : “ Because I’m the devil who’s searching for redemption, and I’m a lawyer who’s searching for redemption”. The terms vary, but the first two lines are what really lit the match here: the mention of the lawyer and the devil in the same chorus.  Maybe you don’t hear it, but we think it’s amazing. Plus, it is paired with redemption, which can also mean salvation from sin. To quote Matt Murdock himself; “Then why did He put the Devil in me? Why do I feel it in my heart, and in my soul, clawing to be left out, if it is not all part of God’s plan?” Because of course, Matthew never wants to  ( and doesn’t ) completely let his dark side out, hence the search for salvation...from himself. And I believe that would make him wonder, maybe rarely, but still wonder, which one of the two he is: the slave or the master.

[vanderwoodlings]

Consider this an open invitation to expand on the topic of Georgina and religion 👀

Well, see, it’s less Georgina and religion and more the Sparks family and religion.

(And a note before we begin: to be clear, I’m not talking shit about any of these denominations as a whole, or about conversion as a whole, or Christianity as a whole. I’m talking about the experiences of characters who are clearly having not great times, and so I don’t focus on the good stuff, but Christianity does have lots of very, very good stuff in it. Unfortunately, it’s also got stuff like this.)

So here’s the thing. For Georgina to end up in her special little cult experience, her parents had to send her there. Which, like, I know we only get one scene of them but just personally I honestly would have pegged them for more like. Terrible Episcopalians than terrible Baptists

(My guess on the group Georgina was with’s background comes without having watched those episodes again, but A) focus on dressed down style, B) ‘no alcohol’ rule, and C) the whole thing with the tambourines.)

So. Georgina’s parents. They’d actually sent her to various rehabs pre-series, and other such things, and one of the more unfortunate habits of certain Christian denominations (especially your terrible Baptists) is their habit of hardcore proselytizing. Usually this functions to get their members rejected and to create a more defined in-group that feels a sense of persecution, but sometimes—especially when it happens to people under stress—it works.

I’d guess that this is happens sometime during season one.

Georgina’s relationship to religion after ‘the bitch is back’ goes a little all over the place—“i haven’t been this bored since I believed in Jesus” comes in between “Jesus and I have redefined our relationship” and “Jesus owes me one.” Probably because she’s doing a lot of redefining—she’s questioning, and she’s not sure how she feels about any of this stuff

And the thing is that Georgina, more than anything, just wants someone she loves to stay. Of course, wanting to burn everything down until she stops being bored is a very close second, but it happens. Still, one of the premises of Christianity—especially the kind you get on a worship retreat full of teenagers—is that Jesus loves the whole of humanity, unconditionally. And I figure that that’s why, despite her trouble with the whole ‘morals’ thing (and, like, all the legitimately fucked up shamed-based overly restrictive shit she probably got fed), Georgina can’t just decide she’s done.

I think that Milo probably grows up attending irregularly—Christmas and Easter with his grandparents, every year, but anything else depends on his mom. He doesn’t have a lot of positive associations with holidays—they’re high stress and he gets yelled at a lot—and spending an hour or two sitting in a pew (or a folding chair, seeing as these are Baptists) listening to some guy talk about salvation… doesn’t really help.

Someone probably asked about him getting baptized once he turned twelve, and didn’t take his uncomfortable shrug well, so he’s probably technically done that in a haze of fire and brimstone fear and adult talking loudly and aggressively obedience.

I think Dan’s somewhere on the line between agnostic and atheist—he’s a pretentious fucker, and if he thought religion mattered much at all to his life experience, we’d have heard about it. Serena isn’t really into the whole organized religion thing but she is a believer in spiritual somethings.

Dan probably kind of awkwardly brings it up when Milo first moves in, and Milo just says no, no, he’s good, and then again in December, and Milo hesitates a little more this time before deciding that he’d rather not. He keeps feeling weird about it for a good long time, though. It is what it is.