#also I'll answer those other asks when I'm done eating >:)

[roberrtphilip]

robert spelled backwards is trebor :] which is like trevor but with a b instead. goodnight! :]

this is the type of stuff Giselle wakes Robert up at 3am to say before immediately falling asleep herself

[blue-blue-blooms]

A Little Crush   

Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader

Part 1

Summary: In which Eddie develops a crush on the Henderson sister.

You weren't sure exactly when your life had gone to absolute shit. Was it when you found a strange, superpowered adolescent girl living in Mike Wheeler's basement? Was it when you walked in on a baby demogorgan eating your cat? Or was it when you were drugged by evil Russians operating under Starcourt Mall? You couldn't even remember a time when life was normal. If someone had told you that you would become best friends with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington and fight literal monsters from an alternate universe alongside Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan 'The Creep' Byers a few years ago, you would've laughed in their face. Now? You'd survived the most traumatising events of your life alongside these people. You were bonded for life.

The last few years had also made you closer with Dustin. You loved your baby brother and his weird friends, especially since you'd spent so much time babysitting them. But no amount of love could make you say yes to what they were asking of you.

"Please?" Dustin begged, following you down the hallway as you made your way to Ms. O'Connell's class.

"No! I have, like, three essays due this week, Dustin. I don't have the time to sub." You respond.

"It's only for tonight! Lucas can't make it and we really need a sub. We're nearly done with the campaign and Eddie will kill us if we make him reschedule!" Dustin pleads.

You were really happy that Dustin and Mike had found a safe space in high school. Lord knows those two idiots needed it. Freshmen year is probably the toughest of them all. You're new, scared, and lonely. You were really glad that they'd found friends, a place where they could be their nerdy selves and feel accepted. Hell, even you'd dabbled in their interests when you'd babysat them. DnD wasn't half bad, and not nearly as hard to undertand as you once thought. You'd spent many nights in Mike's basement playing with them. The first few times, you'd get your character killed in the first fifteen minutes. But after a while, you started making progress (even though you're convinced that the party was exceptionally lenient with you after you once burst into tears over getting killed off).

"I'll do your half of the chores for a week!" Dustin exclaims.

That makes you stop.

"A week?" You turn around to look at him, "Make it two weeks and I'll sub."

"Two? Are you insane!?" Dustin yells, making a few people lingering in the hallway turn and look at you both.

"Two or no deal, Dusty Buns," You tease, "And be quick, I'm late for my class."

"Fine!" Dustin says, "And stop calling me 'Dusty Buns'"

"Why? Is that nickname just for Suzy Poo?" You tease.

Dustin glowers at you as you walk off.

♡♡♡

"So, who's the DM?" You ask as you walk alongside Dustin and Mike.

"It's Eddie, Eddie Munson. He's a senior. Long hair, wears a hellfire T-Shirt, I talk about him constantly. God, do you ever listen to me?" Dustin claims exasperatedly.

"Oh! Eddie as in your new favorite older male best friend who Steve's weirdly jealous of?" You ask, "I've seen him around. Is he the one who jumps on lunch tables and yells a lot?"

"Yup." Mike responded, "He's a bit scary when he's revved up. Just warning you beforehand in case he comes off...a bit intimidating."

You nod.

"Hasn't he been held back, like, three times?" You ask.

Before either of the boys could answer, you reach the room. The first thing you see is the table where the game is set. There are three boys sat around, all with Hellfire T-Shirts on. Your eyes fleet from one to the other until finally landing on Eddie. You recognise him immediately from the amount of times you've seen him yelling in the cafeteria.

Dustin and Mike failed to mention how cute he was, you think.

His hair was long and wavy. He was wearing multiple rings. And he was covered in tattoos. You're pretty sure you saw a few bats peeking from under his sleeve.

"Who's this?" One of the guys asks, making all three turn around and look at you.

"This is Y/N! She's subbing for Lucas!" Mike says, the words spilling out fast and nervously.

Why the hell are they so jittery?

"Yeah, she's my sister! The one I mentioned a couple days ago." Dustin adds.

"Does she even know how to play DnD?" The other boy asks.

"Okay, excuse me, I wouldn't have come if I didn't know how to play," You finally speak, waving your hand a little to get their attention.

"So, this is your infamous sister?" Eddie finally speaks, his eyes landing on you, "You know, I thought he made you up. What's your class and level? Level One Elf?"

Elf? Is he mocking me?

"Are you mocking me?" You ask incredously.

"Is he mocking me?" you turn towards Dustin and Mike who immediately start gesticulating, probably asking you to shut up.

"My name is Aeren Sirenfall and I'm a level 14 chaotic good half-elf rogue. I will sneak behind any monster you throw my way and stab them in the back with my poison-soaked kukri. And I'll smile as I watch them die a slow...agonising...death." You say, your voice slow and hard as you glare at Eddie, "So, are we gonna play this stupid game or not?"

You're pretty sure you hear one of the boys mutter a 'she's terrifying' to Dustin.

You watch as Eddie's eyes slowly soften and a grin emerges on his face, "Welcome to Hellfire Club."

[joonsytip]

All Too Well || Wonwoo

Synopsis: With Wonwoo's dilemma hitting the wall and your perseverance getting stronger, will the events unfold as foreseen or the fate will turn its course?

Word Count: 2k

Third and final installment of Wonwoo drabble series (set in the Withering for You universe but can be read as a standalone drabble series).

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Say Don't Go | So It Goes | All Too Well

It's been a week since Wonwoo has seen you. When he woke up that fateful day along with nothing but the void you, it didn't take him long to recollect the happenings from within the car to his sheets. The slightly recovered bruises on his knuckles and the bloodstains on his bedroom wall are the witnesses of the frenzy state he was in, still is.

The guilt of sleeping with you eats him up. The regret of getting wasted and causing the slip of his true feelings and also his dick into you, makes him wanna get swallowed by the ground. He hates that his subconscious mind was conscious enough to hear your sobs but did nothing to stop them.

Wonwoo contemplates for the whole week that follows. He wonders if he should contact you or let you have your space and contact him whenever you're ready.

He's not clear in head, unsure of what he'd say on seeing you again.

Sorry, it was a mistake. He wonders if he should go ahead with the classic lie and be an entitled jerk, letting you berate him which would gradually help you in letting go those feelings for him.

It wasn't a mistake, I really meant everything I said and did but sorry we can't be together. This seemed too much of truth bombing in a situation where the other party (you) is already hurt beyond repair.

In his mind, he tries several other permutations and combinations but never considers that one way which would save everyone from the headaches and all the heartbreaks.

Everyone can sense the shift, something has definitely happened by the way you have been avoiding meetups and can guess the reason to be Wonwoo. They can't pinpoint exactly but they're sure it started right after that night's party.

"I need you to take everything off your chest while I'm asking you nicely.", your best friend tells you, "My patience has been thinned nowadays and don't make me loose my temper."

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, as you look at her and Seungcheol whose eyes are begging you to comply with his wife because she can indeed be scary.

"Do you want Seungcheol to be gone from here?", she asks, her gaze softening, "It's okay, he won't mind."

Before you could answer, Seungcheol is already off his seat saying, "I'll head back to the office, have some matters to take care of.", and he leans to peck his wife on forehead, "Call me if you need anything and let me know once done, I'll come and pick you up."

After Seungcheol leaves, a comfortable silence falls upon.

"You're already showing.", you say smiling and your best friend mirrors one to you.

"Four months already", she says caressing her protruding belly, "Time flies by, I swear it feels like yesterday I took the test and it came out positive. Seungcheol had cried the whole night, holding me close. Though he has became a lot more sensitive than me.", she adds and looks at you, "But enough about us. I came here just to make you lift some weight off. I could have brought Gyu, but I thought we should have a one to one before letting the guys know if at all you're willing to."

When your gazes meet, you can tell that she already has an inkling because her hunch has always been accurate. So you squirm in your seat and after failing to keep the tears at bay you tell her what had exactly happened in a messy-teary state.

After consoling you, she waits for you to stop crying, blinking back her own tears.

"Are you planning to address this to Wonwoo?", she asks softly.

You shake your head, "He probably doesn't even remember."

"Bullshit." she scoffs, "Are you waiting for him to contact you? Do you want me to talk to him?"

You chuckle with all bitterness, "Yes, I wanted him to contact me but it's been a week already and honestly, I don't even want to see him now because he'll repeat the same words, which are not exactly pleasant to hear. I hate how right headed he is, how all his fears are legit. I wouldn't have done it either."

You lean up to look at her, "Also, I don't want you to talk to him and I'd appreciate it if you can keep this to yourself because we're in the same group and the guys would cause a ruckus if they become aware."

She strokes your hair in a soothing manner and you almost drift off until she nudges you to tell something but you're already dismissing her off, "Don't even think of trying to do anything. I've just accepted my fate, I'll gradually move on."

Another week passes by and Wonwoo thinks he's ready to confront you. He had taken the entire office, everyone in his circle by surprise by taking an entire week off. Seungcheol being an amazing boss and understanding friend easily granted his request in the best hopes of having his friend clear the clouds clogging in his head.

Wonwoo sends you a text asking you to meet him whenever you're free. He clutches the phone tightly in his hands, feet tapping anxiously as he awaits your reply.

When he doesn't receive one after an hour, he's calling you only to be unanswered. Rationality leaving his bones, he keeps on calling your number until it gets recieved and it's an unfamiliar male voice answering the phone.

There's a sharp pang in his heart when he gets to know that it's your blind date who has picked up the call since the phone kept ringing and you've gone to washroom. Though he wants nothing but to rush to whenever you currently are, he curtly ends the call and decides to wait for your reply to his text.

His unwavering gaze directed towards the phone might have worked because he receives a response late at night and he's meeting you tomorrow.

You are unfazed, never once thinking about Wonwoo. That's what you try to tell yourself, that's how you plan to act in front of him. You don't anticipate his arrival at your apartment, that's partially true because you know you're gonna get heartbroken again because even though you want to tie the loose ends, you're sure he's only coming to cut them off wholly.

So you tell your mother who has been nagging you to get married to set you up for blind dates and this time you promised you'd seriously consider them with marriage perspective. Hence, today you're going to another date with someone you know this time and not at all impressed about.

The doorbell rings and you check the monitor to confirm that it's Wonwoo before letting him in.

"Are you going somewhere?", Wonwoo asks as he settles on the couch and you take a seat on the chair.

You nod, "Going on a date with Minjun."

Wonwoo's jaw clenches, his hands ball into fists as he asks, "Kim Minjun? He's a womanizer, Y/N. Didn't you go on a date yesterday?"

You scoff, "And how does that concern you anyway?", your lips curl up, "People can change after marriage."

Wonwoo short circuits at your verbal jab.

"Marriage? How can you even consider Minjun out of all people?"

Your expression turns grim when you say, "If I can't marry the person I love then marriage for me would be just another business deal, another merge to benefit the company, solidify our social status."

Trying to maintain the unbothered facade, you ask, "Why did you want to meet?"

"Why did you leave me alone in the bed?", Wonwoo asks toning down, "When you left, you took all of the warmth with you."

You suck in a sharp breath, breaking the eye contact.

"Within these two weeks I went through all sorts of possibilities from never acknowledging the fact that we slept to being a jerk, dismissing it as a simple hookup to letting you down subtly.", he gets up and walks up to you, crouching in front of you, "But as I pondered over, the only honest answer residing within my heart was not to be a coward anymore and be honest about my feelings, be honest with you."

Your heartbeat quickens, as his hands encase yours, you feel the warmth seep from him.

"I love you, Y/N.", Wonwoo confesses, "Like you, I have also harboured feelings for you for a long time. I cherish every moment we've spent together."

You're eyes go wide, heart constricting in chest. You feel your inners catapulting. You thought you know him all too well to give up upon the possibility of being together but witnessing him stripping bare in front of you is something you've always wanted but never expected to happen.

Wonwoo gently holds your face, voice soft, gaze emitting tenderness when he says, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for projecting my fears and insecurities upon you. But I have realised that you're worth everything and above. For you, I would fight the world if you allow me to stay by your side."

Rendered speechless, your teary eyes look at him with such anguish that it makes Wonwoo want to beat himself for breaking your heart over and over again.

Moments pass by and you both fall into comfortable silence. You're now seated on his lap, head laying his chest as he gently strokes your hair.

"It won't be easy.", you speak, head still downed, as your hand takes in his, entwining the fingers, "But I'd go to hell and back for you if time comes."

You shift back to look at him, "And I promise to be your shield, if anyone tries to hurt you or Wonseok, they'd have to face me first. I won't let anyone hurt you.", your gaze softens, "All of your worries, fears and sentiments are valid, Wonwoo. But it would be nice if you share them with me from now on because you're not alone, we're in this together. I love you."

Wonwoo swears he doesn't cry easily but your words seem to have opened the floodgates as his loud sobs echo throughout the house.

"Thank you.", he smiles as you wipe his tears and leans in to kiss you.

As your lips graze, the shrill ringing your phone startles you both. You grab it from the couch and the screen flashes Kim Minjun as the caller.

There's a sharp change in Wonwoo's expression as he takes the phone from your hand, putting it on speaker and answering it.

"Uh sorry, who's this speaking? Could you please get Y/N on the phone?"

There's a terse movement in the muscles of his jaw as Wonwoo responds, "I'm Jeon Wonwoo, Y/N's--", his gaze shifts at you, lips stretching in a smile, "Lover. I'm cancelling the date and please don't ever contact her again."

As soon as he hangs up, you tease him, "Lover huh? Since when?"

Wonwoo grins like he's drunk in love, he might as well be, "Since the day, you got drunk and danced on the tabletop after the semesters ended."

You gasp, "What do you want in exchange for deleting this memory?"

He's so lovesick, giggling cutely and being all touchy, "What about making new ones and keeping this one in my vault, sealed?"

Your heart flutters at the insinuation. True to your words, you'd surely fight the world to keep him with you.

And your lover chants all's well that ends well to ending up with you, gratefully with all his heart.

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi, i'm fourteen and i have this friend who asked me if i wanted to try eating her out. not a girlfriend, a friend. i don't have any feelings for her but i do think she's gorgeous and she's probably the best friend i have and the most mature 14 year old i know. i trust her a lot. im definitely not opposed to trying to give her head, either. i'm just worried it might be a bad idea, and i'm anxious that i won't do it right and she won't even feel good. i definitely don't want to have sex this early but does giving someone else head even count as real sex? she wouldn't really be touching me at all, except for she did say she'd want us to make out before i did it, though i'm not entirely sure why, but i am okay with it. i'm also worried about, like, STDs, because i've never been with another person like... sexually, i've kissed other people but i haven't in a while. but i think she might have done stuff with people? i don't know how recently. like... i don't know, do you think this is a really bad idea and we're too young or is this fine? how do you even eat someone out, like, what do you do? sorry if this is annoying i just really need an adult to ask about this and it's not like i can ask my parents since i'm not really supposed to do this.

hi anon,

thank you for asking! I'm really grateful to be an adult that you trust enough to talk with about stuff like this. it's not annoying, and I'll do the best I can to give a helpful answer based on everything you've told me.

I think maybe, in your case, this might not be a great idea right now. it sounds like there's a lot about this situation that makes you nervous in a way that's not fun - the kind of nerves that come from being excited to connect with a new person are one thing, but I'm hearing much more anxiety than excitement in the way you're talking about this.

oral sex (using your mouth) definitely counts as real sex - it's definitely not just putting a penis in a vagina! - and can be just as intimate and emotionally complicated as any other kind of sexual expression. you said you don't want to be having sex at your age - which is totally normal, and completely your choice to make! - and that includes oral sex as well, so maybe it's best if you sit this one out for the time being.

I want to be super clear that I'm not saying this out of any sense that no people your age should be sexual; I think wanted sexual exploration between young teens can be a great way to start exploring sexuality and finding what feels good! but that doesn't mean that every teenager has to be having sex, or that they're immature if they don't. people are ready to explore sex at lots of different ages (and some people never do at all), and none of them are weird or wrong. you could feel totally different in ten years, one year, a month, or even a week, but right now you don't feel ready, and what you feel right now is what's most important.

holding off until you've had time to learn more about sex may also help, because every situation is less scary when you feel more prepared. (it's why they make you spend so many godforsaken hours practicing driving before you can take the test to get your license.) in the spirit of learning, I want to share some resources about some of the things you had questions/concerns about.

this page on Planned Parenthood's website talks about lots of different kinds of sexually transmitted infections (STIs, also frequently called sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs), including how they're spread and how to treat them. I don't want to make STIs sound scary - I recently wrote a whole post about how they really shouldn't be! - but because it is important to know what risks there are if you plan to be sexually active so that you can do your best to minimize those risks, and what to do if someone does catch an STI. an important thing to remember is that, at your age, it might be difficult for you or your friend to get tested for STIs without help from your parents, which may be awkward and unpleasant or totally impossible if you're unable to tell them why you need a test in the first place. that's an important factor in deciding whether or not to have sex!

additionally, here's some info about dental dams, which are basically condoms for oral sex - they're a flat piece of latex, like a condom that got rolled out, that goes between the mouth and the hole.

and to help with your question about how going down even works, I recommend this video by sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe. you won't be seeing any real genitals in this video, although there is a drawing and some nude Barbies, and you'll probably want to listen with headphones unless you're alone. there are also links to more of Dr. Doe's videos on the topic.

and lastly, for more thinking about this topic, I want to direct you to Scarleteen's answer to help figure out when you're ready to start having sex, which is very good on its own and has links to some other good reading on the topic. Scarleteen is a great resource specifically designed and run to help answer teenagers' questions about sex without judgment, and I recommend them very heavily.

I hope that this has been useful, and helps you feel empowered to make whatever decision is best for you.

[slvttysstuff]

REBOUND

Rebound (jay jo x reader)

Warnings: grammatical errors, typos, angst

Summar: months after shelly and jay broke up he found himself in a relationship with you while he hasn't moved on yet from his past lover (shelly)

⊹¤.•⨳•.*☆✬✬☆*.•⨳•.¤⊹٭

Jay and shelly broke up after jay found out that Shelly was having a relationship with someone that lives in England also, he was devastated he felt betrayed by the girl he loves the most, you and crew mates that were also your friend are there to comfort him, you were there since you two were kids, you two were super close not until shelly appeared in the picture, and unfortunately, they got together, so as for someone who respects their relationship, you distance yourself from the two of them and when the two of them broke up jay found you and went to find comfort on your side.

2 months after the break up, jay and you started dating, when your friends finds out about it they were happy for the two of you, you thought that he already moved on from shelly, but you were wrong, you caught him looking at shelly's insta where she post her new lover and also her pictures, you also saw those old pictures that jay and shelly had before at his phone, when you confronted him about it he just shrugged it off saying ' I just forgot to delete it', even your friends minu, Dom and the others noticed it they tried talking to jay about it but jay just ignored them.

You were currently at jay's house eating along with his mother, his mother knew you since you were kids so when she knew that you two were dating she was more than happy along with Kay his little brother " so how are you two? Are you two working out? " Her mom asked while eating, you thought jay would answer her but he didn't " oh yes, we are " I answered with a smile on my face " good then, I dont like the girl he's with back then, that blondie? At first look I already knew that she will hurt my son and I wasn't wro-" jay's mother was cutted off by jay

" can you stop talking about Shelly like that mom? " Jay commented, making her mom and me looked at him, ' why is he mad about that? ' I thought " what? I was just telling the truth " her mom said " that girl cheated on you remember? Why are you defending her? " Jay's mother argue " I'm not defending her." jay said but it doesn't look like what he said, he was completely defending Shelly's side as I was silent there the whole time, I lost my appetite to finish my food but I still tried, I don't want to be rude in front of the table and food

" I thought you've already moved on from that girl? Do you think Y/n willbe happy hearing this? the fact that you're defending that girl who hurt you jay? " Her mom kept saying making jay stood up " I'm done eating, I'll go to my room " jay said not wanting to talk with his mom anymore, as you looked at him following every movements he does, he didn't wait for her mom to say something and left, Mrs Jo could only sigh at his sons behaviour as she looks at me " I'm sorry dear " she said as she holds my hand " it's fine auntie, I'll talk to him " i said as i stood up and excused myself, I walked to jay's room, knocking before i opened the door and entered his room

Jay was on his computer, his back was facing me, " jay.." I called out for him, I only heard him humm, I closed the door and sat on the end of his bed " let's talk " I said looking at his back " about what? " He asked as he turns around to looked at me, I can't even read his face nor his emotions..

Silence filled the air first before I let out a long sigh " I want you to be honest with me " I started " you still lover her don't you? " I said as I looked at him wanting for him to answer but all he gave me was silence, his shoulder tensed a little

" I don't " he answered

" I said be honest with-"

" I gave you my answer y/n I said I don't " he cutted me off, looking at me directly, I chuckled bitterly as I looked down, tears were trying to fall already " then tell me the reason you acted like that earlier " I said, he stopped for a minute before he looked away " are we going to talk about it here too? " He stated, he was completely trying to pushed away the topic

" then explain to me the time I caught you several times looking at her account? Looking at the picture of you two? I asked you about it remember? You said you just forgot to delete it, the times you were about to call me shelly but realized it immediately.." I said, he onced again tensed up he knew he was caught already and he can't tell any excuses any more " now tell me jay " tears were now falling down in my eye

" I-I.. " jay try to say something but he couldn't came up the right words to say it " just tell me if you still love her jay " I said as I cried " y/n- " "Jay please! Don't make this hard for the both of us! " I yelled but I didn't get an answer to him as it went silent once again

" I still do..."

jay muttered his head was hung up low, I chuckled bitterly after I heard his answer " I knew it " I said, I looked at the other side of his room not wanting to looked at him " what about me? " I asked, jay looked at me, his eyes shows how sorry he was " Do you..." I stopped first, I was scared to hear his next answer " do you even loved me? " I asked, jay didn't think other wise and answered " o-ofcourse " he stutter " you loved me? But you still won't let go of your past? " I muttered " why did you even pursue me at the first place jay? " I asked I was so confused right now, he loves me but he can't moved on? What the fuck is that? What kind of excuse was that?!

" you made me feel so special when I'm with you, I thought being with you will make my feelings for shelly to fade away" " I thought once I try to fall once again I'll forget her, please I'm really sorry I swear I love you y/n, listen to me " jay explained as he tried to hold my hands but I immediately pulled away, I made him feel special but he couldn't make me feel like one, i want to say more to him i want to blame him for making me fall for him, for hurting me, for making me feel useless, for making me wait for him to love me, for making me feel dumb, idiot about his feelings that wasn't even true

I want to tell him everything....

" So I was just your rebound? " I mumbled, I chuckled as I stood up wiping my wet hands in my pants, jay stood up also trying to say something as he moved forward to hold me" y/n no-" he tried to talked but I cutted him " enough jay... "

" Let's end this.." after saying those words, I went outside his room leaving him there all alone I heard him calling me but I didn't listen, I was so fucking hurt that I don't want to see him for the meantime, I went downstairs, his mom saw me as she called me " hey dear how was your talk with jay? " She said making me stop in my tracks as I faced her mother giving her a small fake smile ' it doesn't go as I thought auntie, your son still loves his past' " it went fine auntie, I'll go home now auntie thank you for the food " I said taking my bag at the living room where Kay was there sitting while watching his favourite show " bye noona! " He called out as I bid my farewell to him before going out of their house, and that's where I find myself breaking down my heart was shattered, how could jay do that to me, all I did was give him love but I guess my love wasn't enough for him....

Feel free to request if you want a part 2^_^

[chrysoula]

Albedo spent sixty years rescuing Nahida from her cage, because he was looking for a challenge to test himself against. He didn't spend much time thinking about how, after the rush of satisfaction had faded, he would be in possession of a newborn god of wisdom who was so lost she tried to go back into her cage.

"Why are you here?" she asked, puzzled, as soon as the door to her cage opened. "There's so much-- You did so much, so why are you here?"

He stared at her as all of his sense of accomplishment washed away.

She began to gabble. "I knew something was happening, I could see your echoes, the ripples like a fish underwater, and I didn't know what you could want but I helped you when I could, because I wanted to see them beaten so why are you here?"

Because this is the finish line. But he knew better than to say that. Instead, he ran a rapid post-mortem on his plans over the last sixty years. When had the flaw been introduced, and how could he compensate for it?

"Okay," she said into the silence. "Now what?" Her eyes reminded him of glass marbles.

"I don't know what you want me to do," she said bitterly after a moment. "There's nothing I can do."

It was a worldview alien to Albedo. Ever since his mother abandoned him, he'd practiced turning his knowledge into power over the world around him. Before they called him a mastermind, they called him a meddler, and usually he didn't bother tidying up when he was done. 

"Oh. I see," she said, drawing her own conclusion and dropping her gaze. "You didn't come for me after all. How stupid I am." 

And even then, he struggled. He could see the potential shapes of the consequence he'd created and he didn't like them. He'd done something terrible and he had to repair it, but how--??

Tears began to spill from those green eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm just not good enough yet. I shouldn't... I shouldn't get involved." And, wiping her eyes, she'd turned to step back into the cage.

That, at least, he could respond to. "No, don't do that. It would only make things worse."

"What?" She half-turned, her mouth open in surprise.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" That was probably a safe thing to ask in the situation. The government imprisoning her had been thoroughly disabled that morning. And newborns were often hungry.

"What?" she repeated, and then ran over to him. "Did you change your mind?"

Pleasantly, he said, "I think you did, but that's not an important detail at the moment. Why don't we sit down and talk about a few things?"

She promptly sat down, looking up at him with clear curiosity. He sat down on the ground too, refining his evaluation of her. "First of all, do you have a name of your own? One that doesn't belong to the Archon?"

"Nahida," she said, possibly for the first time. She looked a little surprised, in any case.

"I'm happy to meet you, Nahida. My name is Albedo." He gave her a friendly smile, and she stared at him like she was decoding his face. "Let's try to figure out what you'd like to do now."

"May I ask a question first?" She spoke with a respectfulness he didn't deserve. Not from her, anyhow. He'd have to earn it first.

"Please do. I'll do my best to answer it." While she formulated her thoughts, he began to synthesize some fish snacks he hoped she'd find palatable.

"Beyond your name, who are you?" It was a question carefully considered, and not the one he expected. But her earnest gaze remained fixed on him.

He considered his own response. It wasn't a question he was in the habit of answering. "Mostly, I plan things for other people. I'm quite clever and I've lived a long time compared to most, so I have certain advantages I enjoy sharing. In quite a few places, I'm considered a criminal, because what I help people do is often illegal. " He offered her the fish snacks. "I also engage in projects of my own, like this one."

She accepted one and nibbled on it. He observed as her eyes widened and she nibbled a bit more before finally making a face and putting it down. "I don't know how to taste it right. I'll work on it later."

"Is that what you want to do?" He saw this as a natural way of leading back to the core topic, but when she flinched, admitted to himself that such directness might have been a little cruel after already thrusting so much change on her unannounced.

"Do you think it tastes good?" she asked him uncertainly.

"Yes, I do."

She thought for a moment. "I'd like to learn to like it too, then. And I want to stay with you, please."

Did gods imprint? He'd never looked into the question. But the truth remained: she might be the god of wisdom, but she was also a powerful and traumatized child. If he walked away now, one way or another, she'd show up in his life again, the worse for it.

Calmly, he said, "Yes, I thought you might say that. Do you also want to rule Sumeru?"

She shrugged, curled up in a ball, rocked back and forth. "Sumeru is a dream to me, a world on the other side of pages and glass." Then she sat up again. "But you are somebody I never imagined existed. That seems more interesting than governing a country that doesn't want me to exist, all by myself."

"I agree," he said. "Still, having Sumeru on a stable footing may be useful in the future, so we should probably sort out the knot I made before we go on our way."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 16

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Happy Wednesday. I didn't have to change this because apparently the last time I updated was also a Wednesday.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You look in the mirror, the steam receding to the frame. You look tired. You feel it. 

You put away the bottles you used for your bath and try some of the brown sugar moisturizer, hoping it might ease the dry spots left from the friction of your pillow. You cap it and place it in the basket with the rest.

You hang your towel on the rack and flip back the silver tab of the lock. You come out into the hall and nearly trip on your own toes. Andy stands casually against the wall, a dark blue towel folded over one arm, his phone in his other hand as he looks at you over the top.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I hope… hope I didn't take too long…"

"Nah, haven't been waiting long," he smiles and scratches his beard, a few tufts out of place as you hear the coarse graze of his fingertips, "sleep okay?"

You lie, "yes…You?"

"God knows I tried," he shrugs as he stands straight, "pretty shaken by the cops swinging by, you know?"

"Uh, sure," you tuck your lip under your teeth, "sorry–"

"You're not the one who needs to apologize," he waves you off and taps his thumb on the side button of his phone, crossing his arms, a gesture that emphasizes his size. "Anyway, I wanted to ask you something before I start the day."

"Oh?" Your brows squiggle together. What have you done wrong now?

"Did you wanna come to the library? I figured if you need to put together a resume for your application I could get together a few resources. It'd be a quiet place to work." He looks almost nervous as you watch his hand squeeze his phone tighter, knuckles white, "we could get some tea down at the cafe, maybe some lunch?"

You consider him and his request. It isn't a bad idea. You don't know where to start with a resume. You only imagine a blank piece of paper, as empty as your life. You try to smile, your cheeks dimpling painfully.

"Okay," you agree. 

You don't know you have the courage to say no. It is his house and it's a thoughtful idea. Amber always said you should get out when you feel grey… Amber…

"I'll go get my tablet," you say to chase away your sadness, "thanks, Andy."

"No problem," he takes a breath, relief uncoiling the tension from him. Had he really been so anxious? "You're the one doing me a favour, so thank you."

"I am?"

"Yeah, I won't complain for the company and it'll give me something to look forward to," he moves towards the bathroom door as you sidle out of his way. His hand seems to float over your shoulder just before you elude it. Instead he presses it to the door. "I'll try to hurry."

🕊️

It feels almost surreal to be back at the library. It's a reminder of everything that's happened. All that's changed.

Andy brings you in with him as he opens. You stand at the counter and watch him. He does everything with graceful certainty. It makes you insecure, there's nothing you know how to do so effortlessly.

When the library opens, it remains quiet. Andy gathers a few books for reference and you take them to the basement, wary of getting in his way as the first patrons arrive. You're much more comfortable in the isolated underground. 

You claim your usual spot and prop your tablet up in its case sideways. You open a book and delve into the basic formatting of a resume. You type your name at the top but the next line stumps you. Address? What do you put? Andy's? You don't even know it.

You skip that and put your email. Phone number? Yeah, not that either.

You work slowly. Your frustration mounts as you distract yourself with making neat margins and inserting lines over inputting any information. You have nothing to add. No skills, no experience, no value. 

You put your head in your hands and take a deep breath. You're overwhelmed by this simple task. How can you expect to have a job? Like Andy and Amber and everyone else. Everything that is so easy for them is almost impossible for you. You are dumb and worthless.

You stay like that for a while, staring at the table, fighting back tears. What are you going to tell Andy? That you're a loser. That all those expectations he has, you can't meet. Maybe you deserve everything you get, maybe Amber didn't deserve the blight of your existence.

"You're here," her voice draws your head up, as if you summoned her with your thoughts.

You blink, not believing she's real. Amber rushes forward and you sit back, staring wide eyed, terrified at her. She winces and stays on the other side of the table.

"What… why are you looking at me like that?" She clasps her hands together, "please, just listen, please," she pulls out the chair and sits, stretching and arm across the table, "I'm not here to argue–"

"How did you find me?"

"It's not that hard, I know you. I'm your sister."

You fold your arms, shrinking down, brow furrowing, heart sinking. Why is she doing this? She's only her to make you feel worse.

"I'm not here to argue, alright? I just want you to hear me."

"You called the police," you accuse.

"You left in the middle of the night," she hisses, "what was I supposed to do? I was scared."

"And so was I," you snap back. "I'm fine…" you look down and spread your hands over the pages, pushing the book flat, "I'm going to get a job."

She pauses and looks down at the book. She leans in and nods.

"That's great," she forces out stuntedly, "I can help if–"

"No," you shake your head.

She sits back and sighs, "what did I do?" 

"I told you. I'm not a child."

"I know you aren't, bubba."

"Bubba?! You talk to me like I am."

She seals her lips and swallows your word with another nod. She puts her hands on the table, as if steadying herself.

"Right, I'm not going to talk to you like a child. I'm just going to say what I came to say and you can choose to hear me or not." She takes a breath and sets her jaw, "that man does not want to help you. You can't see it but he doesn't want what's best for you, I do.

"I know you've made your choice but it's the wrong one. I can't change your mind, police said they won't bring you back, but I can at least try to talk some sense into you. You do what you want, be the adult you claim to be, but at the end of the day, you're my sister and you always will be.

"Bubba, if this all goes wrong, when it does, I will be waiting. My door is open. Today, tomorrow, in a week, a year, whenever you need me–"

She shudders as her eyes glisten and she puts her palm to her chest, "please just think about what you're doing."

You drop your chin. Your heart clenches. Amber always sounds right. She's always been there but you just can't go back. It feels cowardly to change your mind just because you have to do things for yourself. 

And you just don't believe her. You want to so bad but you see what she's doing. Andy showed you what to look for; she's playing the victim. She hurt you, you didn't hurt her. She couldn't handle you being out of control and now she's panicking.

"Bub…" she utters. You just stare at your lap. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll bring you whatever you want–"

"Hoovering," you whisper, tilting your head up slightly at Amber's confused hum, "it's when a narcissist tries to win back someone they lost. Through spontaneous contact and making empty promises…"

"Bubba, how– I wouldn’t do that."

"I thought you wouldn't… before."

She lingers for a moment. She stands slowly and fixes her purse on her shoulder. She looms over the table and lets out a shallow breath that sounds like a sob.

"You know I'll pick up the phone. I'll be there…" she drags her fingers across the table, "whenever you need me."

She hesitates before she turns to leave. You hear her gulping as she steps between the shelves and steps shuffle out from the staircase.

"Hey, what are you–" Andy's accusation fills the silence, "dove! Are you okay?"

"Shut up," Amber growls, "and don't touch me." You look up as she shoves away his hand on her arm, "I'm leaving…" her voice is sticky with repressed grief, "she won't listen. Are you happy you fucking monster?"

He squares his shoulders and looks at her, glares down his nose, "I'm helping her. Something you never did."

"Fuck yourself. If you hurt her, I will–"

"That won't work. You're not going to stand here and scare her," he snarls, "so go."

They lock in a staredown before Amber elbows past him, marching to the stairs and stopping to look back down at the aisle. You sink down and cover your face. You feel a pit swallowing up. This shouldn't be so hard. None of it. Writing this damn resume or living your own life. It's so hard.

🕊️

You sit in the cafe, watching the street through the window from your seat in the corner. You feel as if you're outside your own body, like you're floating over the pedestrians, watching from some secret tower. You close your eyes and see the blank document etched into your retinas. 

The clink of a dish brings your head up. You sit back, limp and barely able to support your own weight. You just feel empty.

Andy sets down a sandwich before you, beside the steaming tea you hadn't touched. He gives a sheepish smile as your eyes bore past him. He sits and places a napkin beside you plate.

Neither the sight or scent of food can stir your appetite. You can't even remember the last time you ate. Last night you pushed around the casserole noodles until he stopped paying attention.

"Looks good," he says as he reaches for his foamy coffee. "I grabbed a little surprise for dessert tonight," he says as he sets his cup down and pats his jacket pocket.

You nod and clear your throat. The simple act hurts.

"Thank you," you force out.

"Well," he hovers his hand over his plate, "dig in. It looks delicious and I'm sure you're starving."

"Uh, sure," you drone and consider the thick sandwich; a croissant stacked with turkey and swiss, a leaf of lettuce and slice of tomato peeking out.

You grab your cup instead and take a swig. You hum, "I didn't even try my tea," you distract him, "how's your coffee?"

"Good, mocha usually isn't my thing but not bad. Gotta try new things, right, dove?"

"Mhmm," you peel away the edge of the lettuce and make yourself nibble it. It tastes awful. Everything is terrible.

"Been a good day, so far, not too busy," he carries on, "how's the resume coming?"

You shrug, "not done…"

He clucks and nods, letting out a long breath. He leans forward and picks up his ham and cheddar on rye. He takes a bite as you tear away some of the croissant and pretend to chew on the end.

"So… guess we should talk," he swallows, "about your sister."

"I don't want to," you whine, "please–"

"I need to know what she said, honey. To protect you. Like last night, hm? When she sent the cops after you like some criminal."

"She was only worried," you rebuff.

"About herself. About making herself feel better by standing on your back," he puts and elbow on the table, lowering his brow in a serious way, "I tell you every day you can do anything, and what did she ever do but tell you not to even try."

You frown. Your heart is in pieces. You don't want to be here. You don't want to be anywhere.

"I'll keep working on my resume," you say, "I'll be done it soon."

He huffs and sniffs at his sandwich before taking another bite. He is silent as he swallows, his gaze weighing on you.

"We can get a box if you wanna take that back with you. No eating in the stacks but just don't let anyone see."

"Thank you, Andy," you say, "I'll be hungry later for sure."

"Mhmm," he taps his foot under the table, letting the silence hang.

You cross your arms and sit back, looking past him to the street again. You wish you had somewhere to be with a briefcase, or were running to catch a bus, you wish you had any purpose but to be a burden.

🕊️

You put the casserole in as Andy mutters to himself and flips through the channels. He says there's some ball game on. You're happy he at least had something to fill the void of your conversations.

You wait in the kitchen. You watch the timer countdown and when it dings you take out the pan. You set it on the counter and scoop out a healthy helping into a plate. You take a fork and knife and rest it on the rim, going to stand in the archway that looks into the front room.

"Do you wanna eat here or at the table?"

Andy looks over, his arm stretched over the back cushion of the grey couch.

"I'll come eat with you," he volunteers as he sits forward.

"No, it's okay. I'm going to lay down… I have a headache."

"A headache? I have advil," his forehead creases with concern.

"Already took something. I think it's going to rain…"

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I… was looking forward to eating together."

"It's okay. Tomorrow," you promise, "please, enjoy and watch your game."

His mouth slants as you approach and put the plate on the coffee table. You feel uneven and wobbly. You just want to sleep until you can't wake up.

"I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow," you step back and hide a yawn behind your hand.

"I hope so," he says, "I'll check on you before I turn in. Just to make sure you're okay."

"You don't have to…"

"I want to," he insists, "you know where to find me if you need anything.'

You slowly back away. You turn and drag your feet to the door. You don't need anything but to be alone.

[yayakoishii]

Hello love! I saw your post asking for Sanji requests and as a die hard lover of both the anime and live action Sanji, I'll happily provide.

The crew ends up docking at a random island to rest and stay a bit on solid ground. When looking for a place to stay/eat they come across the readers restraunt. Just as they're about to walk in a customer gets thrown out the front door with the reader angrily yelling about manners and how to treat people respectfully.

The readers a cook, a little short tempered, loud, and unapologetically themselves and Sanji instantly falls in love.

Alright alright I'm done now ~ 🍄🐛💫

Respect | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji × Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Genre: Fluff??

A/n: Hey there anon!! I'm super late, but I hope you're still around to see this <3 tbh, this isn't my best work and I feel like it got a little ooc and derailed a bit towards the end but I hope you enjoy it! for all my short temper, I have no idea how to write an angry little gremlin lol.

To everyone else, thank you for the 100 followers and all the likes and comments!! This is insane tbh, I wasn't expecting anything on any of my works 😭 Y'all are too kind ❤️

also available on ao3!

The island they had docked on wasn't all that big, but the people there were lively. There weren't many hotels they could find since the town wasn't all that big, and any that they found were already filled to the brim. Finally after walking around for a while, they found a small tavern quite a ways from the shore. It seemed to be a little lively because there were sounds coming from the inside but it seemed to not be so full that they couldn't grab a table.

As they neared the door of the establishment, it suddenly banged open and two men fell through, looking a little roughed up and angry. The crew lingered at a distance, wondering what was going on when you came out, your chef's hat perfectly atop your head, with your hands on your hips.

"I better not see you around here ever again!" You snapped at the two, who flinched ever so slightly. "If you lack manners, that's YOUR problem. You can't take it out on my girls and expect me to treat you like the valued customers you are not."

The two sat up and glared at you, ready to retort but you raised the pan in your hand, waving it in front of their faces.

"Scram, unless you want me to burn your face," you finished calmly. That was enough. The two immediately scrambled up and ran into the distance. You huffed and blew away the lock of hair that had slipped out of your hat. You were about to turn around and go back in when you noticed the group standing there. "What?"

"Oh, um, we were looking for a place to eat?" Chopper felt the need to answer because you were staring at him. (You were a little curious and didn't mean to stare but that was hard when the group was full of… unique characters.)

"Well, a table just got empty so help yourself in," you grumbled, jerking your thumb to beckon them inside. The crew silently followed you in, to find that your tavern was mostly full too but the people were more calm and the ruckus of the other hotels was missing. "Oh yeah. Before you settle in, you should know the one rule of my establishment."

You narrowed your eyes at them. "You treat any of my girls with anything less than respect and you'll be thrown out like those two. Capisce?"

The crew just nodded, too hungry to actually bother with anything else but Sanji couldn't help but find you absolutely charming. It was common to find people who bent and let their customers do whatever for the sake of business, but you were protective of your employees and you didn't care about being a fake sort of nice. He watched you stalk back to where the food was being cooked, responding nicely to the customers asking if all was good. You were nice where it mattered, and unapologetically yourself if your values were threatened. It was all too easy to find you like a breath of fresh air.

That wasn't even what did it, though. For Sanji, what did it was the moment one of your waitresses had come back with the food they had ordered and he had tasted the dish he had watched you prepare with the ease and expertise of someone who clearly loved and lived for their profession. One bite and he nearly moaned there, masking it under a hum of appreciation.

Even Luffy was looking at the food star eyed and his speed in sucking up the food somehow increased. Sanji tried to not do the same, wanting to savour the taste as long as he could but it was clear that if he took too long, Luffy would have finished it all by then.

The hotel was nearly empty by the time they were done and they were one of the only customers still remaining. Sanji was sure it was dark enough outside that they would need light to make their way back to the ship. You were finishing off, calling out orders for the girls who were starting to clear up. You caught his eye and Sanji couldn't look away, mesmerised by the sight of you removing your hat and shaking your hair free. You were gorgeous, a good cook, and had the personality of a firework. He had to do something–

"Let's take her with us!" Luffy announced suddenly, banging his hand on the table. Everyone startled and Sanji stared at him as if he has grown two heads.

"Uh Luffy, that's kidnapping–" Nami's words died out the moment she noticed you walking up to their table.

"Hey there," you gave them all a small smile. "Will you guys be needing anything else or should I draw up the bill? I'm afraid it's getting close to closing time."

"Come with us!!" Luffy grinned. You paused and looked at him weirdly.

"Sorry?" You said.

"What he means, mademoiselle," Sanji intervened, giving you the most charming smile he had, "is that your food was absolutely delicious. Our captain would like to have you onboard as a chef."

You were silent, staring at them all with a blank look, until you finally looked at Sanji. Your gaze made him putty but he tried to remain firm.

"You don't have a cook or something?" You smiled, a little amused.

"Sanji is the cook!" Luffy answered, pointing a finger at the blonde man, who was too busy giving you googly eyes to answer. You cocked an eyebrow at that, looking at the said man.

"And you don't mind another chef invading your territory?" You asked, curious. The crew didn't seem to be more than the people in your hotel. There really didn't seem to be any need for an extra chef to you; and anyway, you were happy with your little hole in the wall place. You were just asking because you were curious, not because you actually planned to join them.

"If it's you, you can invade any space of mine, my lady," Sanji's eyes had turned into hearts as he uttered the words. Nami whacked him on the head, worried he would freak you out but that earned him a loud laugh from you.

"You're funny," you grinned, looking back at Luffy with an apologetic smile. "Unfortunately, I'm happy where I am. Thanks for the offer but I can't. Now, are you gonna pay up or…?"

Luffy looked like he was going to protest but Usopp held him back. Nami grumbled as she pulled out the pouch of money to pay off their bill and yet all Sanji could think of was begging you to join them. He didn't need another person to cook; he was quite enough. But you, with all your loud beauty, were like a sparkling gem he would never find again. He wanted to have you, to know you, to know all your little quirks and interests. He wanted to cook beside you and fall in love– with cooking and with you, all over again.

The crew started to make their way out but Sanji lingered back, making his way towards you. You noticed and gave him a smile, noting that he really was handsome when he wasn't all heart eyed and half a puddle.

"Is there any way I can change your mind?" He blurted out, feeling his insides shake in anticipation.

"I don't know," you teased, suddenly starting to contemplate if it wouldn't be such a bad idea. You had always wanted to travel, to cook for all kinds of people with all kinds of ingredients; you just never could and had to make do with a small hotel on a small island. Wasn't this a chance to make your dreams come true? "What can you do to convince me?"

"Anything you want from me, mademoiselle," he said breathlessly, gently picking up your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. Your heart fluttered at the action, and you flushed. No one had ever treated you like this, like you were something delicate and priceless and every moment you looked in Sanji's eyes made you feel like you were about to be set on fire.

"W- Well," you stuttered, feeling like you had lost control, "how about you help with the dishes then?"

Surely he would not agree to that. This was just a game, and it was time he would back out. You would go back to your little place, and he would go back to his ship. There was no way he would be okay with–

"Is that all it takes, my lady?" The light purr in his voice made your cheeks feel warm.

"N- no, it's just the start," you turned away from him, trying to hide the blush rising up your cheeks. He was far too good looking to be paying you so intense attention and there was something about him that was capturing your heart, tempting it to agree to his words. If you left your girls behind, who would take care of them? All those men who treated them like they were dolls on display would not just disappear the moment you left the island. You couldn't leave them…

"Then, show me the way," he smiled at you, all perfect white teeth shining under the golden lights of your hotel. You just pointed him to the tower of dishes that his own crew had left behind and watched a little astonished as he really started to wash them.

"He's certainly one of a kind," your fellow cook and friend nudged you as she spoke. You couldn't look away from him as you answered her.

"I don't know what it is about him, but whenever he looks at me, I feel…" You abruptly cut off, feeling embarrassed. "Nothing!"

"You feel nothing?" You friend teased, "That blush on your cheeks doesn't look like nothing to me~"

"Shut up," you growled, hackles raised at the teasing. You never fared well with being teased or flirted with, and unfortunately, it seemed the blonde man– Sanji, his captain had called him, you remembered –was exactly of the latter type. He was no good for you, right?

"I don't know," your friend sighed, drawing up a sad smile as she looked at you. "I know your dream. Even if you don't feel anything for him, I know their offer is a chance for you. Why don't you just take it?"

"I can't leave you all behind," you murmured, heart paining at the thought of ditching them just for your dreams. "If I'm not here, what if–"

"Nothing's gonna happen," your friend interrupted you. "Come on, we aren't no weaklings. And I'm here, aren't I? I'll make sure everyone is safe and taken care of. So don't worry about us and go get your man– I mean, go fulfil your dreams."

You whacked her arm at the teasing, smiling genuinely as you watched Sanji finish off the dishes already. He was so fast, and you couldn't help but feel silly for finding that sexy. Competence and confidence was always sexy.

"Alright," you mumbled to yourself. "I'll do it. But, I think I'll take my time. I did say this is just the start."

Your friend raised an eyebrow at your amused smile. Sanji waved at you to indicate that he was done and you waved back, starting to make your way to him.

"It's more fun this way, isn't it?"

°•❀•°

[pokemonshelterstories]

Even after reading your FAQ and a bunch of asks you've answered, I'm still not sure if a shelter blog is the best place to ask this, so do feel free to delete this (or tell me privately that you won't post it, but only if you have the time and energy), but I can't think of anyone else, and if you do post it, you or some of your followers might have some interesting thoughts, so here goes:

How would you feel about using Pokeballs to catch Pokémon you're planning to eat?

For context, I and my siblings grew up in a small, mostly off-grid community, and while most details aren't relevant, we did hunt for food occasionally. We never used pokeballs, but instead bow and arrow, fishing rods, nets and traps.

These days I live closer to a big city, sharing a house with my brother, his husband, and their teenage son (my other nibling, their older child, has moved out a while ago, so they're not part of this story).

Last month, we visited the community my brother and I grew up in, and during our two week stay, I took my nephew on a hunting trip. He was decently enthusiastic to train his archery, but he asked why we don't just use pokeballs. Wouldn't it be easier? I didn't have an answer for him then, only that we'd been taught this way and that I'd never considered using pokeballs.

But I've been thinking about it. It would be easier, but wouldn't it also be more cruel? After all, by catching it in a pokeball, you're giving the pokemon false hope of a nice life with a trainer, only to then kill it. I feel like killing it quickly while it's still in the wild and doesn't know any better is more, like, honest maybe?

What do you or your followers think?

(If any angry vegans find this post, don't even waste your energy on a mean response or lecture, because most likely I have you blocked already, and if I don't, I'll correct that when I see you being rude to me)

oooh, this is an interesting ask to get...

i think this is really more of a matter of personal comfort with the idea of eating a pokemon that's been caught in a ball, but as long as it's done properly, i don't see anything wrong with it. after all, pokemon for the most part don't really have any concept of what's going to happen to them in the future.

as someone who hunts, you (i assume) understand our duty to give the pokemon we eat as painless of a death as possible. then, as trainers, we have a duty to maintain the 5 freedoms for our pokemon, which includes freedom from psychological stress. provided you meet those requirements, i think it's ok to catch a pokemon in a pokeball for the sake of eating it. it's more humane than certain types of traps that leave the pokemon struggling until the hunter comes to check them, and pokemon tend to relax in pokeballs, since they mimic the way pokemon curl up when healing. when the pokemon is released from its ball, you then just need to humanely slaughter it. there are some pokemon that i wouldn't do this with, since they don't immediately take well to being caught in a ball; buneary is a good example. but many common game pokemon do just fine.

i've actually used a different tool to help out with culling food pokemon- my styler! there are a lot of farms out near artazon, and rangers do sometimes get asked to help with keeping livestock mons calm in the moments leading up to slaughter. i've met rangers who aren't comfortable taking on those cases, and i've definitely gotten fussed at by my share of pokemon rights activists, but i think pokemon raised as food deserve as calm of an environment as possible. so, no, i dont think using pokeballs to trap game is cruel as long as you know what you're doing and don't stress the pokemon out. but if you're used to the way you already do things, don't feel like you have to change it up either.

[vyloy]

may i please request some nu carnival quincy x a male reader who’s a virgin?

Quincy

╰┈➤ tw: slight overstimulation, bulge, size, male reader, genitalia not specified

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"Quincy, could you help me pick this up, it's way too heavy", you called him over to help, thinking he would pick a box up at a time but oh you were wrong, he immediately picked up all three boxes, your jaw dropped, "How the hell...", "hm?", he looked at you confusingly, "nothing! please bring them to the townsfolks", "mn", he nodded as he carried the boxes like they weren't heavy, you thought it was hot but quickly erased the thought and went back to pack some more things for the townsfolk.

"Phew! That was tiring!", you sighed, plopping onto Aster's couch, "Hm? Y/n, have you finished?", Aster asked as he passed by the living room, "yep! it was a real pain, you should pay me for this type of work y'know", you jokingly said in which he replied with, "I'm already letting you live here for free, I think that's enough", before he turned into a bat, escaping through the window before you could react, "that vampire..", you sighed once more but with a smile on your face. Suddenly seeing a shadow leaning ontop of you, looked back to see Quincy, "Oh Quincy! You must be tired after those heavy boxes, let's get you something to eat", "they weren't heavy at all", "eh...", you were baffled, how could he say that when you couldn't even lift one of the boxes to the town if your life depended on it? He really does have inhuman strength, "Whatever, I'll still get you something to eat, how does skewers sound?", he nodded as you walked to the kitchen, him following behind.

The two of you enjoy some skewers, well the three of you considering Topper also joined in, devouring most of the skewers on the table but either way, you and Quincy enjoyed the meal.

It was just a relief to have your work over and done with for the day.

Even though it hadn't been that late, you decided to take a bath and head to bed first, you deserved some rest anyways.

As you settle in your bed, you decide to read a couple books before sleeping, they were the only source of entertainment you had when it came to night time as your phone magically dissappeared the moment you stepped into this world so you were forced to adapt and live your everyday life without one, making you more productive.

As you were in the middle of a book, you suddenly got a knock on the door, you immediately knew it was Quincy as he had been visiting you a couple times in the knight prior to tonight. When you opened the door, you saw Quincy without Topper, "Oh where's Topper? I'm surprised to see you without him", "...", he didn't answer, he only 'pushed' his way into your room, taking a seat on your bed.

Even with a stone cold face, you could see the visible blush on his face, it was odd, "Quincy? Are you okay? Your face is a little red..", you go to touch his cheek, hands cupping his face, "m...", all he does is look down, you follow his gaze and sees that he needs his essence regulated, you've seen this happen to the other residents of this mansion but never have you seen it happen to Quincy, he never really approached anyone about it. "Oh...uh..do you need help with that..?", you said between a few stutters, what were you supposed to say in a situation like this anyways?, "mhm..", he nods slightly, 'fuck' you thought, you have never done something like this before, you've only heard about what goes down when Eiden's the one regulating the others' essences but never have you tried to do it yourself, you were too unexperienced but now, your crush needs your help, fast.

"Alright then-", just as you were about to unbutton your clothes, Quincy pounces on you, letting you fall on top of your bed, startling you, "Quincy? I don't know if it is a good idea to start off so rough!", he proceeds to undress you for you, letting your clothes get thrown on the floor as he focuses on your body, "your skin is soft", he states, making you even more nervous, "this is my first time, please go easy on me-", "don't make such a fuss, relax", he says, very out of character of him.

He attacks your neck, leaving huge hickeys everytime he goes to nibble on a spot, soon enough your neck was covered with hickeys everywhere, it was a sign he has taken you as his, "Quincy...~", you moaned a bit as his hands trail to your nipples, squeezing them just a bit before letting go and massaging your chest, you had never played with yoir own nipples whike masturbating before so it was a new feeling, a good new feeling.

By now, the two of you have already remove all clothing the both of you have, "m..", Quincy's face blushed even more seeing your figure, you were so perfect to him. Quincy immediately prepares you for him, he knows how big he is and wants you to be prepared, he doesn't want it to hurt. He grabs your hips with one hand as the other's two fingers make their way inside of you, making sure to move around while they're in your hole, you moan loudly, fortunately the walls are soundproof and were made for incidents like these so nobody would wake up to the sound of your moans, "Qu-Quincy...!~", you grab his hand, your eyes rolling out of pleasure, even his fingers were big, not to mention the size of his cock, you drooled at the thought of it being inside of you soon. Just as you were about to cum, a sudden feeling of emptiness creeps in due to his fingers leaving your hole.

"Quincy, i want...", you trailed off, trying to find a good way to tell him you wanted his cock to be inside of you right this moment, "say it", he tells you, his eyes full of lust as you finally say the key words, "please shove your cock inside of me!", you cover your face with your hands due to embarrassment but he quickly removes your hands from hiding yourself, "as you wish", was all he said before plunging his cock inside of you, god it hurted like hell, he was so big, "shh, it'll feel better", he reassured, rubbing your hips lovingly. Finally you feel the pleadure after a moment of suffering from pain, now you felt pleasure, you also couldn't help but notce the bulge on uour stomach, likely cauded by Quincy's huge cock, "Quincy, is this you..?", you asked, curious, "m", was all he said before asking you, "move?", you nodded and he immediately started to thrust over and over again into you, making sure you feel every last inch of his cock.

Just a few minutes in and you feel almost overstimulated, maybe it was just his cock that was too big for you to handle. He loved the look on your face, the face of someone completely in ecstasy, he couldn't help but to kiss you, a deep kiss, this was too much to take at once, you were overheating, his cock inside you, his lips on yours, you were in heaven.

After that night, the two of you continued life like normal but of course, the both of you know what's always on each other's minds after said incident, two idiots in love but don't have the guts to tell one another.

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Taglist: @secretivemessenger @devilswhore-emrys @jkloserdazai @miyuuuki

GUESS WHO FINALLY FINISHED A WRITING😭

[kenny-the-ken]

Stoned to the Bone

Just before I start I wanted to write a little disclaimer, in this fic everyone is aged up, they are all 18 and this fic is not suitable for minors!! There are mentions of drugs, alcohol, smut, sexual content, swearing and a lot of innuendos. Also this is my first fic so please be nice ☺️

You sat in the dingy upstairs apartment that you lived in with your boyfriend Kenny. You two had been together from fourth grade and you couldn't imagine your life without your orange parka clad boyfriend with his cute fluffy blonde hair that you loved running your hands through. He'd been out for quite a while now trying to score you guys some MDMA for your house warming party. Everyone that was anyone at South Park High was invited.

Y/N: Kenny, where are you?! Xx

Kenny🧡: Omw now, plug took his sweet ass time. Pour me a drink for coming home, and make sure it's got an extra measure in it! Also, got an ounce of weed, can't wait to smoke up next to you tonight 😉 xx

Y/N: You really do know how to make a girl feel special, huh? I'll see you soon, be safe and remember, if those blue lights appear, never fear, just drop a gear and disappear xx

Kenny🧡: I'm right around the corner babe, don't worry, cops have never caught me this far, I doubt they will now xx

You knew better than to reply to him, he was a quick walker and knew plenty of shortcuts. You both still lived in the shittier part of town, the rent was cheap enough for you both to afford, even if you did both work awful, barely meeting minimum wage jobs.

You heard the door clicking open and then shut, the noise of someone walking up the stairs, and there he was, hood up, a shit eating grin on his face. "Who's ready to get fucked up~?" He sang through the house, before entering the living room and spotting you standing in the adjoining kitchen, pouring him a large glass of vodka and coke, although it may as well have just been vodka. You had one poured for yourself and two shots of tequila lined up for both of you. "Tell me Ken, in all the years we've known each other, when am I not ready to get fucked up?" You answered him, handing him his drink as he sauntered into the kitchen, taking the glass from you and giving you a quick kiss on the head.

"He said this MDMA was top notch shit, straight from Europe! The ounce is Super Silver Haze, so we are set for at least a few days darling." Kenny said, his voice muffled due to his hood still covering most of his face. You smiled at him, even when only his blue eyes were visible, he was the most beautiful guy you'd ever laid eyes on, you swore you got lost in his eyes back in fourth grade and you still haven't escaped the maze yet, not that you were complaining.

"Take your coat off, babe, we can afford heating now!" You said, taking a sip from your own glass and shuddering, vodka did not taste good, but it got you fucked up and that's all that mattered. "If you want me to strip for you babe, you gotta return the favour." Kenny laughed out, unzipping his parka and taking his gloves off. Out of his pocket he pulled a baggy, a rock of pure MDMA sitting in it as he placed it on the kitchen counter. From his larger inside pocket he pulled out the aforementioned ounce of cannabis and sat it down beside the baggy. "Fancy a quick bump to start us off?" He asked, taking out his wallet and a bank card from it, starting to crush the rock inside of the baggy. "Is that even a question?" You winked towards him, coming closer to watch his skilful hands at work. You guys have done anything and everything together, you trip sat each other and knew how most drugs affected you, because let's face it, you guys have tried most. When the rock was finally a fine, yellowish looking powder you could feel the excitement building within you, and Kenny noticed. "Babe, I know you're excited but I'm taking the first hit, if I die from it you know I'll be back tomorrow morning anyway, you on the other hand, that doesn't happen to." He stated, and you knew it was true. He always took the first hit of anything you guys scored, he just wanted you to be safe. You smiled warmly at him. "I love you." You muttered softly, giving him a small kiss on the lips. "I love you too, sugar tits." He smirked before pulling out the key to your shared apartment and placing it into the baggy. He scooped up and balanced a small amount of the powder upon it and placed it to his nose, covering his other nostril and snorting the substance in one go. He then placed the key on the counter, sniffing a few times and then made a face like he was going to be to be sick. "Kenny, what's wrong?!" You asked, hurriedly holding his face as you stared at him. "I'm fine, just that drip, man! That is nasty!" He said, gagging slightly. And he wasn't wrong, you took a quick bump yourself and found that you were soon after gulping down your vodka and coke to try and rid the taste that was emanating at the back of your throat. You noticed Kenny was staring at your tits in the low cut top you wore, your skinny black jeans hugging your figure, and boy could he not tear his eyes away from you. "Like what you see?" You teased, a small smirk on his face. "Y/N, my eyes have been glued to you since fourth grade, of course I like what I see." He joked back, and you knew it was true. You were the only two impoverished kids in school, you basically grew up together. You remembered when Kenny used to steal pads and tampons from the local pharmacy for you when you got your period, and how you used to swipe whatever food you could get away with from the grocery store, you both raised each other. You realised you were fading in and out of reality, the drug starting to take effect. Kenny's pupils were large and round, and you soon found yourself cupping his face with both hands and gazing dreamily into his eyes, a small blush dusting his cheeks. "What's wrong, babe? Love buzz getting to you already?" Kenny flirted, wrapping his long, slender arms around your waist, picking you up and setting your ass on the cold countertop. "I don't know babe, I always feel this in love with you so it's hard to tell." You said, your pupils large too. You felt Kenny bring his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip cheekily, and as a small gasped escaped from you, he quickly slid his tongue into your mouth, a small moan coming from both of you as you both passionately made out. Time stood still till you heard a car pulling up, parking and all four doors slamming.

A knock could be heard at the door and you both already knew it was your friends. You could already hear Eric and Kyle bickering outside and Stan sighing. "Hey, Kenny! Get your dick in your pants and open the door!" Stan shouted through the letterbox as you both reluctantly parted your lips from one another. "You better believe I'm taking that ass straight away as soon as they're either gone, or we're in bed!" Kenny said, a small huff of annoyance at having to wait, and at having to try and conceal his already pre cum leaking cock in his tight jeans. He ran downstairs, opening the door and bowing playfully. "Welcome to my Playboy mansion." He joked, stepping aside to let the guys in.

Your apartment was nothing special, it was still decorated how the previous tenants had it, pale grey walls in the living room with black and silver wallpaper, the kitchen was red with white tiles going round it, and the bathroom was blue with a shower in the corner. Your bedroom was the only place you both could afford to decorate yet, and that was for yours and Kenny's eyes only!

"Sweet apartment guys!" Kyle said, waving to you as you added four more shot glasses to the worktop, filling them with tequila and bringing them out, along with the two you and Kenny had forgotten about. "Here's to best friends, amazing relationships, freedom and getting fucked up guys!" You exclaimed as everyone took a shot glass. "Cheers!" You all said in unison, throwing your heads back to take the shots. You all grimaced at the potent taste and the burning sensation in your throats.

Time felt like an enigma, more people arrived, Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, Craig, Tweak, Butters and more that you weren't even aware were coming. Kenny was in the kitchen chatting with Kyle and Stan about some video game while rolling a blunt. You wandered in, looking at your boyfriend with a smile. He winked at you and patted the countertop, signalling for you to sit beside him. You hopped up as Kyle and Stan took a seat at the table. You could hear Eric laughing at some poor, unfortunate girl in the living room, and you gave your boyfriend that knowing look, like a secret language between you both. He handed the half rolled blunt to you. "You're so good with your hands, think you could finish rolling that for me, baby while I rack us a line each?" He cooed, biting down on his lower lip just to tease you. "You read my mind." You said softly. Kenny hopped off the counter and to the opposite side of the kitchen, his back to you three. "What are you guys on this time?" Stan asked, he didn't particularly like weed, his dad had ruined that for him long ago, but it didn't mean he wasn't fascinated in trying other drugs. Kyle wasn't too sure how to feel, it goes completely against his religion to do any of this, but you're only young once, right? "Purest MDMA in South Park!" Kenny exclaimed. "Straight from Europe, you guys want some?" He asked, turned to face you three, bank card in hand, and two skinny, long lines already racked up for you both. "You know what, I'll do it if you do it, Kyle!" Stan declared, feeling butterflies in his stomach, his nerves always got the better of him. "Yeah, fuck it! It's been a shit week and it's Saturday! Let's make the end of this week amazing!" He said, both boys high giving each other, then turning to fist bump Kenny. He racked two more lines for Stan and Kyle and turned once again to face you all, making deep eye contact with you as you stick your tongue out to like the skin you were rolling the blunt in, sending him a flirty wink, which he gladly smirked back at. "Damn girl, you really gonna tease me like that?" He flirted back, a smile on his face.

Rolling up a bank note he placed it up his nose, snorting the line he prepared for himself. He sniffed again a few times after, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. "Who's next?" He said, holding up the bank note. "I'll go!" Said Kyle, doing the same thing Kenny did and then coughing slightly afterwards. "It tastes like shit, man!" He shouted, downing whatever drink he had in front of him. "Yeah dude, that's the drip!" You said, laughing slightly before taking the bank note yourself and sniffing the powder in one swift motion. You passed the note to Stan who nervously did the same and reacted almost the same as Kyle. "Just stay away from Wendy for a few minutes dude, the drip makes you wanna throw up and you do that when you're completely sober around her!" Kenny said, laughing slightly before picking you up and spinning your round, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist, your thighs coming up to his sides. "You look so fucking hot right now." He said, kissing you gently before pulling away to stare at you once more. Your cheeks were flushed, a mixture of what Kenny had just said and done and the drugs and alcohol you had taken. He carried you into the living room, Stan and Kyle quickly following, Kenny placed you on the sofa and quickly connected to the speaker, handing you a lighter to spark up your blunt with, you inhaled the thick smoke and exhaled it with a long sigh, you hadn't felt this amazing since the last time you two did MDMA together, and that was one messy night.

The four of you sat and chatted, taking a few bumps here and there while you all smoked the blunt in rotation. It was as if the rest of the party didn't matter. Other people were taking their own drugs, people on ketamine, ecstacy, and god knows what else, it was South Park after all. And they knew you and Kenny didn't give a fuck.

Before you knew it you had finished the entire baggy between the four of you, the party heating up as the place was packed with people. Outside was dark and the street lamps shone brightly. "Hey guys, a new nightclub has opened down the street, it's supposed to be amazing! Wanna go?" Eric shouted loudly over the music. Everyone stared at him, mulling the words over in their fucked up minds. "Fuck yeah! Why not?!" Kenny shouted, turning off the music. "I could dance, let's go guys!"

The walk felt like a blur, you don't even remember how you got there, just how soft Kenny's hand felt in yours as you walked together down the street. The nightclub luckily let you all in without ID, and surprisingly didn't think any of you were on anything. When inside the place was huge, hundreds of people on the dance floor, flashing lights and loud techno music filled the air, this night was turning out to be one to remember. Stan was finally talking to Wendy with enough confidence in his fucked up, MDMA filled brain without throwing up on her, result! Kyle was chatting to some random girl in the corner of the dance floor when you and Kenny heard one of your favourite songs come on, you knew it was a sign from the gods above as the song blasted loudly through the speakers. He took your hand in his, his fluffy blonde hair reflecting the flashing lights in the club, you swore he looked like angel sent from above as he gripped your waist tightly almost scared to lose you as you both started dancing, first giggling and playing around and soon enough grinding against each other needing some sort of contact through the buzz you guys were feeling. Fuck, this felt unreal.

"Kenny." You moaned loudly enough for him to hear. "You like that baby?" He asked, pushing his hard cock against you a bit harder. "And what if I do this?" He whispered into your ear, a long stripe licking up the front of your throat, before his mouth attached to the side of your neck, licking, biting and sucking on the skin that was sensitive when sober, so this felt like you could touch the stars. The song had changed and you still both remained on the dance floor, practically eye fucking each other, hands roaming everywhere, anywhere, just to get some sort of friction.

"Fancy a bump of coke?" He whispered to you, a confused look on your face. "You really think I'd leave us with nothing?" He laughed, as you both, hand in hand made your way to the smoking area, standing at one of the tables. "I'll get us drinks, you crush that shit and I'll be back asap!" He said, pointing to the bar in the smoking area, you just nodded obediently.

You got to work, crushing it up in the baggy and smiling to yourself. You heard Eric shouting behind you with Kyle, Wendy, Stan and Butters. They approached your table, watching you carefully make two thick lines on the table as Kenny came back, two double vodkas in hand, no mixers. "Where'd you all come from?" He joked, handing you your drink and rolling up one of the notes he had received back as change. He snorted it quickly so you all wouldn't get caught and thrown out, you did as he did and giggled slightly after taking it, both of you downing your drinks. "How the fuck are you both not dead?!" Butters shouted loudly, Tweak and Clyde finding your group in the crowd, and all of you chatting among each other. Kenny handed you a cigarette and put one between his lips, lighting it and passing you the lighter, as you lit it you felt an arm snake around your shoulders, pulling you close to his body. You looked up at your boyfriend, giggling to yourself. He whispered something to Stan and Kyle as they all nodded, the music too loud for you to know what they were talking about. They began laughing as Eric too joined in the conversation. "I'm getting some more drinks!" You shouted loudly, as you walked over to the bar, everything spinning round you, boy you loved this feeling, and knowing Kenny felt the same was even better.

You turned around to see Kenny standing a few meters from you, staring at you as you came back to hand him a drink, a soft smile on his face as he stared at you. Fuck, he was the luckiest guy in this club, in South Park, fuck it, in the world to be able to call you his. You both understood each other like no one else did, not even your parents, you guys had been through everything together, and that's why he was going to make sure you were his girl for life. He had a ring back in your apartment and wasn't sure when to propose, but he was going to, just not while you were both fucked up. "I told the guys after this drink that we're gonna go home, my cock and I have some unfinished business to attend to." He said, winking and stealing a kiss from you. "Can we all dance before we go?" You pleaded, and Kenny just simply nodded. "Whatever you'd like, Princess." He said. He knew clubs like this would never end well with a pretty girl on your hip, some other douche always had to press their boundaries, and you were his girl, no one else's.

Your large group headed back to the dance floor, as a throwback banger came on. The first song you guys listened to together at the very first party you had all ever been to, it was like a movie, you all sang (shouted) along, badly. "DON'T YOU WORRY CHILD, SEE HEAVEN'S GOT A PLAN FOR YOU!" You all screaming in unison, dancing like lunatics when the beat dropped. You truly did have the best group of friends that anyone could ask for, and to top it off, the best partner in the entire universe, he little would and has died for you, just to make sure you were safe.

Your eyes became hyper fixated on your partners face as you sang to each other, tears of joy both steaming down your faces. Kenny couldn't believe how beautiful you looked as he turned to give the guys a knowing look, he let go of the grip he had on you and got on one knee, giggling to himself, not even having the ring on his possession. "WILL YOU MARRY ME, Y/N AND MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST GUY IN THE WORLD?!" He shouted and you swore your heart skipped a beat, the guy you got married to in the playground all those years ago now finally asking you for your hand in marriage, together, both of you, together, forever. "OF COURSE I WILL!" You shouted back, as he picked you up, spinning your round with him on the dance floor, all of your friends chanting and cheering loudly.

"Now if you'll all excuse us, I'm gonna go home and fuck my fiancée!" Kenny exclaimed loudly. Everyone erupted into laughter as you both made your way out of the club, not even making it home. Kenny had pinned you against a wall in a dark alleyway, two streets away from the club, one hand gripping your thigh up to his side, the other massaging your boob, his cock already buried deep within you, your moans filled the air, it wasn't long before you were both reaching orgasm together, Kenny chanted your name like a mantra, and you screamed his name loudly, your thighs pulling him as deep inside you as he could manage, his cum painting your insides, both equally as breathless as each other.

"How 'bout we go home, we smoke a fat blunt each, order some takeout and cuddle the rest of the night?" Kenny suggested, a small smile on his lips as he watched you pulling your jeans up, still breathless and legs weak. "That sounds fucking perfect." You replied, giving him a passionate kiss before taking his hand in yours. "You better be careful kissing me like that, baby, you know how high my sex drive is, I'll end up fucking you the rest of the night." He said, a smirk on his face, throwing you a quick wink. "Oh, I'm aware Mr McCormick." You flirted back. "Won't be long till you're Mrs McCormick." He replied, a large and genuine smile on his face, you could see his little tooth gap and your heart soared. You get to spend eternity with the only guy you've ever loved, and if that isn't perfection, I don't know what is.

sorry it was so long!! I really hope you enjoyed it!! I'm gonna try writing some more, so please let me know what you think and if you have any requests, hit me up!!

[jedi-lothwolf]

Codywan Week Day 6: Quiet Love

Summary: Obi-wan and Cody love doing small things for each other. Even things they don't talk about or acknowledge. When Obi-wan's favorite pair of robes get damaged, he doesn't have the time to repair them. However, Cody finds a way to fix them.

    Obi-wan and Cody's love for each other was shown in quiet declarations. Small things they would do for each other. Sure they spent almost every night together, snuggling close to each other and holding each other. But they also slid their feet together at meeting tables and looked back at each other in crowds to make sure they were okay.

    Quiet love was their favorite. Cody remembered times where he would drop something under a table and he would sit up to see Obi-wan's hand on the corner, making sure he didn't hit his head. He remembered short touches when he was nervous.

    They would sneak kisses in empty halls and hold hands on walks in the woods. They loved it almost as much as they loved each other.

"Are you ever going to fix those robes?" Cody asked his partner.

"I don't have the time." Obi-wan sighed as he folded the set of robes and put them in a drawer.

"They're your favorite." The site of robes were just about the same color as most of the ones he wore. However the fabric was softer and slightly more worn. It made them more comfortable to wear.

"I know. I'm sure I'll do it soon." With that he closed the drawer. "I'm going to go get something to eat, want anything?"

"Maybe some coffee?" Cody answered.

Obi-wan smiled and left the room. That's when Cody started to look around the room for a needle and thread. He had learned some domestic skills when he was bored on Kamino or in-between missions. Sewing was one of his favorites even if it was still somewhat difficult.

Finding the small repair kit Obi-wan's had tucked away in a drawer, the clone removed the set of robes from the drawer. Then he sat down at the table and found the holes he needed to mend.

After finding the holes, Cody started to stitch them shut. It wasn't perfect but slowly he fixed each and every hole he could. The larger ones were easier to work on. Like every time he tried to sew, he stabbed himself with the needle a few times. However most of the lines were straight so at least it wouldn't look horrible.

When he finished, Cody placed the robes back in the drawer as well as the sewing kit. Then he simply waited for Obi-wan to return. He placed a bandage on one of his fingers since he had poked it with the needle multiple times.

When Obi-wan returned, he gave Cody his coffee as well as an orange flower he had found. "This reminded me of you." He smiled.

"Thank you." Taking the coffee and the flower, Cody sat on the bed. He didn't think about the robes until later. After all, he didn't do it for anything other than making Obi-wan's life easier. In fact, he didn't think he needed to tell him. Later that week, the Jedi would think about it and pull them out like he had done that day. This time, he would see that all the holes had been closed.

The two men enjoyed the rest of their evening together. Cody stayed over that night. He shut the light off and crawled into bed. Obi-wan made sure his feet were covered by the blanket.

Later that week, Obi-wan was alone in his room. He had a pile of paper work that needed to be done. Still, he opened one of his dresser drawers. Pulling out his favorite set of robes, he saw that someone had already mended them. Smiling, Obi-wan knew he needed to thank Cody. He knew he would wear them the next day and he knew that it would make his beloved commander smile. Oh how he loved the little things.

[otomiyaa]

Kaiju Experiment

Kafka & Reno

A/N: Second to last story I crafted during my trip. Ha ha, ha...

Summary: Reno and Kafka are suddenly curious about something. Are Kaiju ticklish? (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.1K

Everyone had already left the dining hall for their training. Kafka huffed, breathing out as he counted.

"O-one huhundred... One h-hundred one... One hundred t-two....." So harsh, Mina. He couldn't let go of the habit and accidentally called her by her first name again during lunch. Seriously? Two hundred push-ups?

To his embarrassment, the others had stayed behind until the count of fifty at least. They then were all ordered to leave, which luckily gave him the privacy to finish his punishment.

No one would even bother checking on him, but he knew that he couldn't disappoint Mina, not even behind her back. He was going to finish up to two hundred push-ups as she ordered him to.

"Senpai! You're still not done?"

Eep! Kafka wheezed like an old man and looked up tiredly to see Reno enter again.

"W-why a-are you hehere," Kafka asked, continuing his push-ups with every bit of strength he had. Which wasn't very much, to be honest.

"I came to tell you we're assigned to the same team for our next training. Hm... No one's here now. Should you keep going?"

Kafka nodded. "O-otherwise M-Mina will..." He continued to do the push-ups, and Reno snickered.

"One hundred six.... One hundred seven....."

"Senpai, you'll never make it to two hundred. I think she was just messing with you."

"N-not Mina...." Kafka's arms were starting to give in. He was shaking.

"Senpai, come on. They're more likely to scold you if you come late for the training."

"One... hundred.... t-t-t-ten," Kafka whined when he finally reached that number. Yes! Ninety more to go, he was definitely going to -

"WAHAHAHA!" Kafka was surprised by his own sudden cackles, caused by a very ticklish sensation under his arms. Reno!!!

"Heehee. Are you ticklish, senpai?"

Wait, how dare he- NO! "Ihihihichikahahawa! Nohoho I'm- gahahah!" Kafka shook his head hysterically and tried his best to continue. But Reno continued the tickles and eventually his arms gave in.

"Nohoho! Okahay I'll cohohome!" Kafka giggled like a school kid, curling up and kicking his legs as Reno continued to tickle him.

"Hehe. Good. Let's go," Reno said, helping him up. Then as they were still holding hands, Reno suddenly halted.

......

"W-what?" Kafka asked, still out of breath.

"Senpai. Are Kaiju ticklish?"

"Huh? How should I know?"

They both stared at each other, the thought sinking in slowly.

"Oh. You really want to know?" Kafka finally asked when Reno continued to stare.

"I actually want to. You?"

Kafka hesitated. "Me too...."

They were still holding hands because Reno helped him up, but now those same hands were shaking each other's in a firm handshake.

"We'll find out. After training, okay?"

"Okay."

It was going to be a useless Kaiju experiment, Kafka knew that. But he was now curious too. Would he still be ticklish in his Kaiju form? And what would this mean for other Kaiju, did they actually have such a weakness? If skin was too hard to get penetrated with bullets and swords, could it be subjected to tickles?

He needed answers. It took them a while to find the right moment. Training, lecturing, eating, bathing, but eventually they managed to sneak out together and found an abandoned spot near the base.

There, Kafka transformed in the dark of the night.

"So cool that you have it under control now," Reno said, applauding humbly. Kafka nodded proudly. Reno was so tiny now.

"Right?" Kafka giggled. He then spread his arms.

"Okay. Tickle me."

"GROSS!" Reno barked.

"Huh? That's why we are here, isn't it?"

"Well yes but don't say it like that!"

Reno very nervously approached him, his fingers wiggling. "Well then, here goes." He first wiggled his fingers under Kafka's spread arms, right where he had tickled him earlier.

Kafka felt no difference. He immediately sucked in a lot of air, but was quick to explode in a hysterical giggle fit as he wrapped his arms around himself and kneeled down.

"HAhahaha okay thahahat s-still ticklehehes!"

Reno kneeled down by his side. "Then what about here?" he asked, tickling his sides and ribs with fierce clawing moves. Kafka squealed and squirmed pathetically.

"YEHehes tihihickles! Bwahahah!"

Reno looked amused. "Here too?" He poked his tummy. Kafka screeched like a woman.

"Interesting. Your pain tolerance is impressive, so how is this form so sensitive to this?" Reno experimented with softer tickles, and somehow that felt even worse. Just the mere scribbling against his Kaiju skin, Kafka felt more ticklish than ever.

"I don't think it proves anything. You might just be too ticklish," Reno observed, scribbling all ten fingers against Kafka's tummy and making him howl.

He couldn't imagine tickling Kaiju like this. Yes, it was a silly experiment.

"But stihihill! Wahahah!" He had a hard time controlling his reflexes too. He didn't want to hurt him.

"OKAhahay okay ehehenough plehehease! Ichikahahawaaa!"

"What was that?" Reno lowered his hands, his fingers brushing against Kafka's apparently very sensitive Kaiju hips.

"HEEEHEE! PLEHEhease! Nohoho! Stohohop!"

He must've looked hilarious; a huge Kaiju giggling and begging for Reno to stop tickling him. Smiling, Reno sat back and watched Kafka catch his breath.

"Sorry, I got carried away. You will forgive me right?" he asked with a gentle smile. Kafka nodded.

"S-sure. I wanted it too. Besides, I'd crush you if I tickled you back now," he said, and he winked. Together they sat in silence until Kafka recovered from the tickle attack, and he managed to gasp for air.

"That was interesting. This body shouldn't be this sensitive. I wonder if all Kaiju are this ticklish, or it's just me," he said. Reno nodded.

"I doubt we can ever find out, but. I liked the experiment," he said. Kafka nodded, grinning.

"Me too." Reno was staring at the night sky and didn't notice him transforming back into his human form.

Kafka watched him in this peaceful state for a moment, smiling fondly. It was the perfect calm before the storm moment.

"Ichikawa."

Reno looked at him. "Hmm?"

Kafka raised his hands, holding them out like two big tickle claws. "Payback time."

"Huh WHA-?! You said- WAHahahah! Hohohold on- hehehey! Noooo!" Reno wailed as Kafka pinned him down and tickled him playfully. Looked like he was actually quite ticklish too!

"I said I wouldn't tickle you in my Kaiju form. But I'm actually pretty good at tickle fights~" Kafka sang proudly, bringing out some fun and sweet laughter that he never heard.

"HEeeheheheee! Sehehenpai plehehease hehehe! F-fohohorgihihive mehehe!" Sweet friendly Reno, even apologizing for something Kafka quite voluntarily subjected himself to. Well yeah, Reno did lose a bit of control there earlier.

"What was that?" Kafka said teasingly, and he continued to tickle.

"Forgive meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

And just like that, their sweet laughter continued to brighten the dark and gloomy night. It wasn't a very useful experiment, but Kafka definitely thought it brought him even closer to Reno, and for that reason alone, he was enjoying himself immensely!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole if I pointed tell my dad, who chased me out of getting help in my teens, about an autoimmune disease that has a possibility of killing me and that part of it is his fault?

I'll make this short, my dad (58M, 6'4") has never believed that I (26F, 5'6") have anything wrong with me and that I am willfully lazy/forgetful/overexaggerate pain. To give you an idea, I have ASD and ADHD and my Dr's have been struggling to find the answers for my joints. To him, I was the "perfect" child and I couldn't have problems. I had to be the one to go to school, I had to be the one to do everything right. Between him and I, he was always right. If ever I felt hurt by him, he would spin the conversation around in a way so that it was always my fault. Even down to house chores, he would make everything my fault. For example, I didn't eat for a week and he filled the sink with his dishes and then screamed at me that they were mine. I have also dislocated a shoulder to my dominant arm and was in a sling. At this time, he told me to pick up a 40lb garbage bag and take it outside. I obviously couldn't do it with only one arm. It hurt and I was terrified of dislocating my other arm. I had a meltdown in garage about how I had to ask him for help because I couldn't do it. I knew he would yell at me to "get stronger" and that its my own fault. Lo and behold, that's exactly what happened when I went inside. I asked him if he wanted me to hurt myself. He responded by yelling at me that I already did. It's because of this constant abuse that I finally moved across the country and moved in with an online friend I'd had for many years who is now my fiancee. So for those worried, I am in a safe place with a man who cares so much about me. He supports me and understands how very real all my problems are. He takes good care of me. Which, he's also part of the reason I have been able to bring myself to go to the Dr to begin with.

Now, for the problem at hand. I have had joint pain starting in my hands since I was a teen. It got bad enough I had complained to my whole family until my grandmother told my dad to take me to the Dr. So I went to the Dr and then after three visits I had to stop because my dad verbally attacked me about "when I would be done" and that he couldn't afford it. So i stopped. Well, I didn't go back to get treated for anything until recently in my mid 20s. My pain has spread to my whole body over the last 10 years. I am in an ungodly amount of agony. I've dislocated bones repeatedly. My bones lock up and constantly crack and pop. Exercise is very difficult. It was never treated till I got insurance through my work in the last year. Well we have narrowed down what we think I have. It's an autoimmune disorder that deteriorates the joints and makes it very easy to dislocate my limbs. If I have a specific version of this disorder, this thing could possibly effect my heart and the muscles that make my heart beat. Aka, my heart could just *stop* in my 40s/50s. I'm going on vacation with my narcissistic father in a month and I want to sit him down with my eldest brother, who has always had my back, and explain to them the situation. I want my brother there to keep me safe during the conversation. I kind of want to drill into him that part of this problems expansion is his fault as he stopped me from going as a teen and he bullied me out of going to the Dr unless I thought it was "serious" and I was "dying." It's not just to hurt him but to give myself the satisfaction of telling him that all the times he told me I was a liar and overexaggerating my pain? My pain was real. I want him to know I've been hurting. Because the only one he would ever believe about my problems would be a Dr, that he'd not let me see or discouraged me from seeing. I was a broke kid who he then later dumped off of his insurance because I had to use it more than him. And despite him having all these problems requiring surgery in his own body, he believed I was lying about being unable to do the same things he can. If yall need more info and examples, I'd be down to add another ask. Just, would I be an asshole? Is it petty, or justice in finding my own peace? And if anyone has any advice, i would like to have ideas of how to go about this. Thank you all for reading.⭐️

What are these acronyms?

[jo-harrington]

As Above, So Below - Chapter 7: Exodus

Previous Chapter: Chapter 6 - Revelation

Summary: On the road to securing Eddie's freedom, you face insurmountable challenges and need to decide between love or your life.

Word Count: 15.8k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Original Character (Written in 2nd Person POV - You/Your - No Use of Names of Physical Descriptors)

Warnings/Themes: Van Helsing Inspired, Kas!Eddie, Religious Themes, Criticism of Religion/Catholicism, Fate vs. Free Will, Death and Injury, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Discussion of the Upside Down, Fluff, Supernatural Encounters, Gore, Body Horror, Angst, Monsterfucking, Monster Voyeurism, Disturbing Imagery, Allusion to Necrophilia (not Eddie), Brief Allusion to Suicide/Suicidal Ideation, Biblical and Other Literary/Media References. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Note: Uhm...I don't know what to say about this chapter except I'm sorry. And I'm sorry. And I'll fix it, but maybe not for another few chapters. *looks at the masterlist* There's also only like...4 chapters left after this one. So...sorry :D

This series will not be for the faint of heart, nor is it something that was written with a general audience in mind. Please check the above warnings and ask yourself if you are in the correct headspace to proceed. I am happy to answer any questions via PM or Ask.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

“And in the end, we were all just humans, drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”  - Christopher Poindexter, misattributed to F. Scott Fitzgerald

November 6, 1983

The days that followed--or weeks, thanks to the delay of time in the Upside Down--wavered between an endless dream and an endless nightmare.

It was a dream because...well, you had all the time in the world to spend together here.

You didn't limit yourselves to the confines of the secret little house in the outskirts of the mirrored Hawkins or the Creel house or the chapel. You went everywhere together, saw everything.

You listened to the tapes that Wayne had brought, told jokes and stories. Sometimes you'd just sit together in silence, basking in the simple truth of each other's presence; sometimes you'd have your own activities you'd engage in--books and comics and whatever--sometimes no activity at all.

Sometimes you'd just stare at each other.

You made each other laugh, made each other smile, made each other shout and holler over trivial debates just like you used to.

Eddie lavished you with a guitar performance almost every night, starting with a reenactment of the Most Metal Concert in the History of the World atop the partially ruined trailer in the Upside Down's Forest Hills.

You were enamored with the way his clawed and elongated fingers plucked masterfully at the strings of his Sweetheart, extra phalanges on his new hands making him so dextrous.

You'd always been a fan of his music, a fan of his love of music, and it made you utterly happy to see that it wasn't lost here. He was eager to show off the tricks that he had struggled to perform with his human hands--troublesome chords and rapid fingering on the fretboard that he often cursed about during band practice way back when--and he'd bask in your cheers and your awe. Then he would turn around and prove what else those fingers were good at.

Most of the time together was spent with him in his more familiar, comfortable, human form. His words, not yours; although you would argue that you didn't have a preference either way. But it was his body to choose.

Typically though, sex and feeding were done in his new form, so the two of you could be untethered and free.

Unafraid.

And you took advantage of that time to explore him. You were eager for the chance after your reunion, it seemed, and he always teased you but there was always more to learn. New places that he was ticklish, that he was vulnerable, that made him moan and chuckle and chitter.

He spoke to you in that infernal speech sometimes, unknown promises spoken low and deep in your ear, as he thrust and rubbed and brought you both close to pleasure. Some secret confession that he didn't want you to know outright, but knew you would still understand deep in your heart. In your soul.

He even took you flying a few times.

"You ass," you slapped at him teasingly when he offered the first time, after you'd moaned about the time it took crossing Hawkins to greet Wayne. "You let me walk all around all this time when you could have just flown me everywhere?"

His great, gruesome wings twitched and he smiled that unnaturally wide, unsettling, toothsome smile that you were growing quite fond of.

"Can't let my girl get too spoiled," he joked right back at you. "Besides, aren't angels supposed to fly?"

Fucker, you hissed under your breath, only for it to turn into a yelp as he scooped you off your feet and took to the air.

You’d never considered flying before in your life, ever. Never imagined it. At best, you’d wondered what it would be like to fall if you jumped from the SkyDeck of the Sears Tower or hurtled yourself over the edge of the Grand Canyon. Some flailing uncontrollable thing before you’d inevitably meet your demise in a splatter.

But never flying, never gliding.

It was glorious.

Wind in your face, Eddie’s arms securely around you, you could see for miles as he soared above Hawkins with great beats of his powerful wings.

A group of demobats fluttered into some sort of flock formation with him—it suddenly made sense why he’d looked like he yearned to join them on that first day—and he indulged them in some silly aerial play. Just some weaving and climbing and one drastic nosedive that had you giggling hysterically; the fluttering feeling in your stomach was better than a rollercoaster.

Once you were alone again, Eddie, mischief maker that he was, decided to drop you. Just once. He said he wanted to show you a trick—a barrel roll—and then once it was over, his strong arms pulled away.

Time slowed as you began your descent back to the earth, hands automatically reaching out to try and grab him.

But there was no panic surging through you.

In fact, you were flooded with a sense of peace.

You felt weightless.

And not just in the literal sense.

The world fell away. All of your troubles, the weight of responsibility, the curse…gone.

You enjoyed the free fall for a few brief moments, and Eddie let you have those moments, before he dove down to catch you with an exaggerated “whoops.” You laughed and teased him not to do it again as he tightened his arms around you and pressed apologetic kisses to your lips.

He promised he would never let you go again, crossed his heart and everything.

Still it didn’t stop him from making the joke every time you flew together after that. Feigning a drop so you would punish him with a slap or a punch and then he would pout and ask for a forgiving kiss.

Then it was back to the ground again to greet Wayne or for you to return back to Hawkins for more supplies or a shower.

Back to reality.

But for those brief and beautiful seconds there was nothing.

No worry, no obligation, no dread.

It was just you and Eddie. Reaching out to one another. Just a few metaphorical moments away from being together again. Free.

And it was the thing that drove you both to focus, to work harder.

Because you had a task to complete. A mission: You had to get Eddie home.

Fun and games and quality time aside, after the night in the chapel, you dedicated your time, effort, and power on solving this.

And not just yours; Eddie's too.

The need to fix this ignited a fire of determination within both of you.

Eddie was eager to use the abilities Vecna had unlocked within him for something positive, something useful--something good--instead of the meaningless death that simply came from remaining here and alive.

Instead of the chaos and destruction he had been forced to cause at the lich's whim.

"But you've already done something positive," you tried to lessen his guilt when he confessed the thought to you. "You helped defeat Vecna. You brought Max back to life. The brides and the others too. You survived. This will just be another tick on the list. You're good, Eddie. You are so, so good."

So most days were spent exploring the areas around the gates--exploring the gates themselves, much to your body's protest--testing your powers in this new world, this new earth, to see how much you and Eddie could or could not do.

Whether it was from the sheer amount of time spent here or because of Vecna's intervention, or the fact that Eddie had become something more than human now--something intrinsically entwined with the Upside Down--he seemed to have a much better handle on channeling his abilities here. But it was too unskilled, too raw, and too reliant on instinct and emotion. You'd watch him get riled up on purpose in order to open one of the gates wider or attempt to close them.

You didn't hesitate to guide him, teach him. And it opened up a world of possibilities on how to use that power.

Eddie was an excellent student.

He always had been, actually. Smart as a whip, able to pick things up easily. Even when you'd originally been with him in Hawkins, he'd always had the capability of passing his classes, he just...lacked the motivation and support. Or even interest in the subject matter.

Here, now, he was eager to learn and succeed.

Your original deal was in place, the one that you'd agreed on so long ago when you were determined to see him graduate. You would teach him something and he would get some reward in return; usually just a kiss, sometimes some kind of sexual favor, once he even begged you to join a small DnD one-shot with the brides.

That had been an experience, to say the least.

But before long he could do tremendous things. Cause the earth to shake on purpose, channel the lightning that was ever-present in the sky, commune with the world around him so that he might get a better understanding of what was expected of him and why it prevented him from leaving.

Eddie's growing mastery over his power also helped lessen some of the toll yours took on you.

You never seemed able to utilize your powers to their fullest potential in the Upside Down, and the few times you had returned to the real Hawkins, you felt the tangible difference. There was a surge of your connection with both Heaven and Earth that was simply absent when you were in the other realm. The rumble of the ground beneath your feet, the Earth's molten core, the tremor of the shifting atmosphere as it held the heavens so high up. It was a relief, a breath of fresh air.

Even then, sometimes it seemed like you could never catch your breath after you regained your connection. You were perpetually fatigued.

You ignorantly continued to chalk it up to the differences in worlds, the strain it took to cross through them, and simply sought out alternate practices to supplement as much as you could.

The conversation with Mary Victoria during your initial trip to Hawkins had brought superstition and magic to the forefront of your mind. Not the most conventional for a Knight of the Holy Order, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

Prayers were spoken to various saints as you crushed dried flowers and herbs and beans from the little jars out of the trunk of your car and Claudia’s kitchen. Bread crumbs and heads of garlic. Salt and bone dust.

The simple acts conjured memories of sitting in the basement with Nonna, preparing for this feast day or that one. Old-world blessings to protect the house from wandering spirits and silly home remedies for illnesses rather than trips to the doctor. They felt like returning to a home you hadn't lived in for years. You could practically hear Nonna scolding you that they were not meant to be used for the things you were using them for.

But you had no other choice than to simply try, and the warm and welcoming feeling they gave you made you believe that they would help.

After some time, it had seemed like they worked in one way or another--a combination of all the superstitious higgledy piggledy alongside your waning powers. Light and darkness, holy and unholy, divine and archaic together--because Eddie was able to hold a hand through one of the Gates.

Just a hand.

Certainly not his whole body, not able to fully cross through the membrane of the fissure, but He no longer felt the invisible barrier, the uncontrollable lock on all of his limbs as he attempted to get near a gate.

It wasn't a solution, but it was something.

It was hope.

It made you both scream and laugh at the success, and you kissed and fucked and fed to celebrate this small triumph, until you realized you still had so much further to go.

So you kept going and going, kept pushing for the next milestone.

As much as you could, for as long as you both could.

Truly, the emphasis was on as long as you could, actually.

Because the longer you stayed in the Upside Down with Eddie and the more you pushed yourself, the more you felt the noticeable toll simply existing here took on you.

And the worse it got, the weaker you got.

Until one day you realized that you were dying.

You'd gotten good at lying over the years, good at hiding everything that was wrong with you. Both physical and emotional pain and turmoil.

Nonna had always been the one to see through it, but she was gone now. Jinette knew which buttons to push to get it to erupt out of you, and Gabriel...he just seemed to show up at the most inconvenient times.

But Eddie...Eddie might not have always known what was wrong--or that there even had been anything wrong--but knew how to soothe those hurts until you were ready to tell him. Even now, in this new body and this new world, with these new challenges, he was soft and attentive as he began to notice the changes in you.

The thing about you was that you were also good at lying to yourself.

It hadn't happened all at once, which made the lies easier to believe.

The tremor in your hands as you cast your power out into the world was shaken away. You stiffened your muscles until you were steady once again.

The weariness in your body was explained simply because you kept pushing harder and harder.

"You need a break," Eddie whispered into your skin as you struggled to rise for the "day," ready to face the next set of challenges.

"I need to get you out of here," you dismissed. His clawed hands flexed against your sides in a pseudo-caress. "I'll be fine. I'm just tired. I would kill for a coffee...or a sod though. A shower would be nice too, if there was running water."

"I'll be sure to work on that for the future," he snarked. "But seriously, we can take a day without trying to split the world in two. Just so you can get some more sleep."

"Do you need a break?"

"It wouldn't hurt."

"But do you need one?"

"No."

"Then I'll be fine too," you shrugged him off.

You should have listened. Or at the very least, not been so quick to dismiss his worries.

It only got worse.

Little by little, you began to notice a great, gaping void forming deep within you; it grew every day, snuffing out the warm light inside of you, weakening you. You began to lose yourself, feel less like yourself. Not in speech or in action, just in being.

Suddenly everything took more effort, more willpower. Everything seemed especially straining and hopeless. Everything hurt.

The annoying, ever-present pinches whenever you crossed through the gates between the worlds were gone; instead there were deep, sharp slashes that cut through your mind and body and made you want to scream when you finally emerged from the other side.

You collapsed into Wayne's waiting arms once, late in October, after weeks had passed in the real world and months had passed in the Upside Down. And you sobbed as the realization that something was terribly wrong finally hit you, as the lie that you'd told yourself evaporated, as you finally recognized that the longer you stayed in the Upside Down, the faster you were fading.

"Don't tell him," you whispered into worn flannel as Wayne held you. "I'll fix it."

"What if you can't?"

"I...just don't tell him. Please."

You stretched your stay in the real Hawkins as long as you could before you knew Eddie would be too worried. A whole day instead of a few quick hours; it was time spent mostly with Wayne at Lover's Lake.

You told him everything that you'd been experiencing over breakfast, and he immediately suggested taking more time away from the Upside Down. You shot down that idea as quickly as possible; Eddie needed you, and moreover, you needed him.

In the end, he got you to promise that you'd make more trips back to Hawkins. Quick ones. Half days or supply runs. He insisted that Eddie would understand.

"There's something about that place," he muttered darkly into his mug. "I always thought so. It's why I go to see him as often as I do, so he doesn't forget himself like he did before..."

"Vecna isn't there anymore to brainwash him again," you reassured. "He's...he told me about everything he felt, everything he did. That...void is gone. The darkness is gone. He's Eddie again; I know it. We just need to get him home."

Wayne sighed and stretched a hand across the table to place over yours.

"He's been more himself than I've seen him in years honey, but that doesn't mean that'll always be the case. I don't want anything happening to him. Or to you. The two of you are all I have left."

You understood; he and Eddie were really all you had left too.

After breakfast, you spent time reconvening with nature, with the earth...maybe with God, you weren't sure. You certainly said a few prayers that hadn't left your lips in quite some time; you wondered if those prayers were so foreign coming from you that He would ignore them entirely.

Still, it didn't hurt to try.

Dinner was at the Harrington's with your friends.

You faked a smile as you told everyone the progress you'd made to fix Eddie and close the gates once and for all. It wasn't a lie, not really, but you still felt guilty at everyone's hopeful chatter and talk of rebuilding. Especially as both Wayne and Dustin's worried gazes were frozen on you.

"You sure everything's ok?" Dustin questioned as everyone settled down to eat, but you simply flicked the bill of his hat and tucked into your own food.

Mary Victoria was too busy making goo-goo eyes at Steve, and you took advantage of teasing her so that she didn’t get a chance to see that there was anything wrong with you. You wouldn’t be able to lie to her.

When the sun finally rose on that second day, you were refreshed and eager to get back to Eddie.

You felt a little better. Felt the edges of that void within you start to brighten again. It pained you to think that Wayne might be right, and that you needed to spend time away from the Upside Down to feel better, away from Eddie.

So it was easier to deny it. To pretend. To lie.

You already promised to visit more, what else could you do?

That thought was solidified as you and Wayne crossed the gate--biting back the stinging cutting pain in your body as you crawled through--to find Eddie's waiting figure.

"You really weren't kidding about the running water thing, were you?" he joked, arms wide open for you to join him.

If he sensed there was something wrong--something unspoken between you and Wayne--he certainly didn't show it. He simply held you tightly as you tucked yourself into his side, the only place you truly found strength and comfort.

You turned your face towards him to say some sort of reassuring joke, that as nice as a shower was you'd always return to him because his hugs were better, but that's when you saw the turmoil in his gaze. A roiling storm of unsettling worry in his dark, abyss-like eyes.

You immediately felt guilty.

You turned to Wayne and sent him a wide, pleading look to keep quiet; he nodded almost imperceptibly. Still, there was a sternness about him, a silent warning not to go too far.

But with Eddie beside you--your heart, your soul, your life--how could you promise that? You'd go as far as you needed to; you had to.

You had to push yourself, had to keep going, for him.

You hoped that would be enough.

Once during a mission--lifetimes ago, it seemed--a creature with some dark, predatory psychic ability was able to weed out the truth of your pain and grief and bring it to the surface. Nonna had just died and, combined with the pain of losing Eddie and fighting to get back to him in the afterlife, something inside of you had changed.

The creature preyed on those changes, that weakness.

Back then, it had only been the memory and promise of reuniting with Eddie that caused you to persevere. The temptation to give in had been so delicious. But you'd defeated that insidious creature and walked away with your life and mind...not quite normal...but intact.

Thanks to the unwavering power and strength of your love.

But it made you aware of what it felt like to be preyed upon and that’s what you felt now as you returned to The Upside Down.

The first order of business upon your return was blood.

A day in the real world for you was several days for Eddie, and with the Brides and the creatures of the Upside Down hunting less--or at least, with much less rampant destruction--you knew that he was hungry.

"Starving," he groaned.

He shed his human form once Wayne crossed back through the gate and now you were settled somewhere deep in the labyrinth of the Creel House with your horrifically beautiful boyfriend, situated in the cradle of his arms as he prepared to feed.

It was an intimate act, a very sensual one. At least, that's how you made it out to be now that all of the pretenses of normalcy had been removed. It was a precursor to an inexplicable connection--emotional, physical, sexual, even if sex wasn't always to follow--a foreplay of one sort or another, and you both basked in it.

Of course, foreplay with Eddie had always meant silliness, chatter, and giggling. It was no different now--he was still Eddie, after all--and it was especially evident that he needed the banter since you'd spent time away. He longed for companionship as he'd been left to his own devices for days, and you were happy to oblige.

"Did you watch any TV while you were there?" he muttered as he nosed down your jaw, sniffing the desired sustenance that pulsed beneath your skin. He plucked at the neck of your shirt with careful talons and nipped at you playfully. "Wayne break out the old Bonanza tapes?"

"Believe it or not, he had Hawaii Five-O going when we got back from dinner," you laughed.

"What episode?" His cold breath fanned across your neck.

"The one with the horse."

You went back and forth talking about the ups and downs of the episode. The highlights of Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams challenges with one foe or another, and the scoff of disbelief that so much drama could happen on such a small island.

Eddie even hummed the theme song as he ran his lips over your skin as soon as he'd had enough actual discussion of the topic.

What a sight you must have made.

The suspense was thick in the air as you waited for the inevitable bite; of course, he kissed your skin and muttered a cheeky relax-it's-just-a-pinch-sweetheart, before his fangs pierced the space between your neck and shoulder.

You both sighed in tandem, the world around you forgotten, as he took his first pull of blood. You felt the warm rivulets escape the wideness of his gaping mouth as he drank from you and in any other scenario you might have rolled your eyes at the fact that you'd need to clean up after his sloppy feeding habits. But being close like this, feeling his life force entwine with yours...it made you forget all of your troubles.

It was transcendent.

It was everything.

His touches and caresses, the gentle hums and hisses and clicks that came from deep within him. You laughed as you watched his wings flutter behind him and then he chuckled deeply in return.

You closed your eyes and let yourself savor the moment with him, committing all of the sounds and sensations to memory in case you needed it at the end of it all.

If you faded into death soon and had to cling on to one strand of light and love as you made your descent into hell for the eternal punishment that waited for you, you wanted it to be this moment here.

There was a sound--a snicker--and you stiffened suddenly. Eddie didn't notice. He continued the deep, satiating pulls from the bite, unaware of the intrusion, but you blinked your eyes open and met a cold, black gaze that was locked right on you.

There was a crooked, unsettling grin that grew on Fred's face as soon as you noticed him.

Taunting.

He stood at the threshold of the room you and Eddie had claimed as your own here at the Creel House, and he leaned slightly against the door. The door to your room that was most-certainly closed when Eddie had brought you here to feed. You watched, almost horrified, as Fred ran his hands along his body suggestively; it would have been comedic--his nerdy clothes caught on his claws, creating more holes in the sweater vest and chinos-- if it wasn't so sinister.

If you didn't feel some sense of fear grip you for the first time since before you'd realized who Kas had really been.

Eddie finally felt how still you'd become and pulled away abruptly, leaving droplets of blood along your shirt and down the front of himself messily. His expression went from worried to livid as he spotted Fred at the door.

In the blink of an eye you were bouncing on the bed and Eddie's towering form was at the door, holding Fred aloft by his throat as he hissed that infernal speech at him in some kind of admonishment. Some kind of warning.

It made your entire body erupt in goosebumps.

When all was said and done, and Eddie returned to your side muttering apologies--

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I was so caught up feeding. If I had known. Benson's always been a pervy little weirdo, and that's coming from me. Please, please, I'm sorry."

--you couldn't help but stare at the empty threshold of the room.

The door had been left open.

And Fred might have been gone, but you swore there was still a dark set of eyes watching you.

"Look at me please."

"I can't."

"I'm ok. I'm fine."

"It's a trick," you sniffed. "A lie. I saw you."

"Well look again and see that I'm ok." You felt him getting closer to you, his presence soft and calming. "Angel, please. Open your eyes."

You couldn't bear to see him broken and bloody again. Not after the countless times you had already witnessed him that way over the past few years. It was too much. You needed him to be whole, as whole as he could be given the circumstances; why couldn't he understand that?

His fingertips gently grazed your cheek and you didn't hesitate to lean into his touch.

"But I do understand," he whispered painfully, answering your silent question. "I...I felt the same way when I saw you broken sweetheart. I thought I was gonna lose you forever. That he was gonna take you away for good."

There was a pause.

"I guess he's doing this to me too though. I, uh, would call him a douchebag but that puts a whole new meaning to self hatred huh?"

You couldn't help but snort at the joke and you didn't need to see him to know that there was a smile growing on his face at the sound.

"Don't give up on me," he whispered. "Don't give up on any of us. I can't tell you how many times I've watched her just...fucking...badass her way out of some impossible situation. Worse situations than this. We'll be ok, I believe it."

You held back some choice words; she wasn't you...even if she was. You didn't have the courage she had, hadn't endured countless dangers. Her strength and yours, while similar, were born of different adversities.

Still it was nice to hear some optimism for once, to not have to be the source of it; Eddie had been a miserable piece of shit for a long time.

You slowly blinked your eyes open and he lifted your chin so you could look at him.

Skin pristine, eyes warm and sparkling. That stupid cute smile that you just wanted to kiss.

Not bloody. Not wounded. Whole.

"There," he sighed. "See? Everything is gonna be fi--"

He choked on a cough and frowned. His free hand rubbed at his chest for a second and he coughed again.

And again.

And again.

Until blood started seeping from his lips.

You shrugged his hand away and put as much distance between you as you could. You clamped your eyes back shut and covered your ears as he coughed and choked.

It felt cowardly, it felt wrong. But you were helpless.

You learned a long time ago that prayers were useless here, but you still whispered your pleas over and over, so someone could hear. So she might hear.

And ultimately you knew you couldn't do anything to save him.

Because you were his. And he was hers.

She was the only one who could fix this.

A couple of days passed after the incident with Fred before you crossed paths with any of the Brides again.

There was a different air surrounding them now, not just in relation to you, but Eddie as well, it seemed. They'd been stiff around him for a while, actually. It was just…tangibly worse now.

You didn't know when it started; they seemed fine after that spectacle you'd overheard of Eddie scolding them in the attic weeks ago.

In fact, you actually got to meet them, learn about them, and hear their stories firsthand. Hear about the things that made them easy prey to Vecna. And as...off putting and somewhat sinister as they still were, you found more similarities between them and Eddie--and yourself, to be honest--than differences.

You heard about their deaths at Vecna’s hands and their rebirth at Eddie’s. You got to see the relationships they all developed with him, and it warmed your heart to see them all—the kinds of kids who had written Eddie off when you’d first known—find common ground with him. In death and rebirth, they became more than a cheerleader and a basketball player, a nerd and a metalhead.

They were all traumatized kids who were offered some second chance at life. Maybe not quite a normal life, but a life. They deserved it.

But there was a turning point.

For all of them.

Even though Eddie said nothing about it, you noticed him start to keep them at arms length, especially as you started making progress on his abilities and the mission to get him back to Hawkins. You couldn't be sure if Fred was just more evidence that something had changed...or that it was directly caused by it.

There was that creeping Catholic guilt grabbing you by the throat at the thought. You had been gone from Hawkins for so long that you didn’t even exist to Eddie or the Brides upon their creation. Or the development of their bond through their shared suffering.

Had you been the cause of the rift between them?

It lingered in your mind as you went about your days in the Upside Down and as you made trips back to Hawkins to restore your strength.

You thought removing yourself from their realm, their home, however briefly, might make things better.

When were you going to learn that you were wrong about everything…

One day, on your return to the Upside Down--decidedly not escorted by Wayne, who was upset that you had yet to tell Eddie anything about your weakened state--Patrick had been waiting on the other side of the gate.

You were shocked to see him, and all of the divine sense inside of you screamed for you to go back, to scream for Eddie, to attack before he could.

To run.

But he was crying.

He looked more human than you had ever seen him before, sitting on some rocky outcropping, shoulders shaking with sobs. Those same shoulders that were draped with a tattered green letterman jacket.

His clawed hands clutched the lapels of it, pulling it tighter around him, wings folded into it so it would fit, and he stared up at the sky. As though it would give him some answer to whatever troubled him.

How many times had you been there?

You could clearly see the tar-like tears dripping down his cheeks as you got closer.

“Pat?” You called softly and he winced but didn’t acknowledge you. “Is everything ok?”

Lightning flashed overhead and he shuddered.

He didn’t respond to your question. Instead he asked, “do you think they’re alive?”

You paused a few feet from him.

Who? His family? He told you about them before, just like the others had. A mom and dad, a younger brother and sister. Twins. A picture-perfect life that would make anyone envious.

“Have you…never gone to find them?” You questioned. “In all the times you’ve been in Hawkins…”

“I never…never thought about it before,” he confessed. “When we’ve been back, all I’ve thought about was my hunger. Bringing back enough blood for Eddie. I k-killed people.”

He pulled the jacket tighter around him.

“He sent us to feed the other day and I thought about finding them. I went back to the house after I had my fill."

"Yeah?"

"But it was empty. Abandoned.” He closed his eyes, lines of pain suddenly etching across his face. "I found my jacket...right where I left it in the hall closet and I couldn't help myself. I took it. It was the only thing I needed, more than blood actually.

"But when I got back here, I started to wonder...if they were gone. Dead."

There was a beat, then he took a deep breath and opened his eyes to stare at you, fresh tears falling.

"B-because if they're alive...why would they leave it behind. If they knew I died...why would they leave me behind? If they're alive, do they even miss me?"

The pain in his voice--the stinging anger--made your heart ache and you couldn't help yourself. You crossed the distance and pressed a hand to his shoulder, and covered one of the hands on his jacket with the other.

As soon as your fingertips brushed against the jacket, you were overwhelmed by the memories woven into the jacket, intrinsic to its makeup just like every fiber and thread.

Getting the jacket for the first time when he made varsity, his father telling Patrick how proud he was of him, his little brother trying the jacket on in awe and vowing he'd have his own someday, rejoicing in a championship victory with his friends.

And as each memory--each emotion tied to it--hit you, you let it seep through your body and into his, along with an overarching sense of peace.

Even in your weakened state, this part of your power prevailed. You didn't need to destroy or defend if you could do this. If you could soothe the jagged parts of Patrick's heart and soul.

Soul.

The longer you stood there comforting him, the more you could feel it, and yes...jagged was the right word to use. Hurt, tired, broken. You knew you couldn't fix it, but maybe you could file away some of the sharp edges so he wouldn't get hurt when he looked for a little light in this ever-present dank darkness in the Upside Down.

Patrick's tears lessened until they stopped altogether. When you pulled your hands back you felt weak, but a good kind of weak, and he caught you as your footing faltered.

"The others...wouldn't understand," he said as he righted you. "Eddie, maybe but..."

"It's ok," you stopped him so he wouldn't feel obligated to explain, but your words fell short when he lifted a hand and clicked his claws against the chain of your necklace.

You could practically feel the words burn with holy power--as if to say "how could you have let yourself as close to a devilish being in a place like this"--as one sharp point rasped over the inscription.

Gratia. Charitas. Solamen.

"It told me that they hated me," he whispered. "He told me that they hated me too."

"...who?" you asked dumbly.

Patrick simply tapped the last word on the inscription and then his hand fell away. He looked you dead in the eye.

"I should have known better than to listen to those lies again."

You were left with more questions after the encounter, and you stayed in your head for most of the day upon your return to the Creel house.

You return that, unfortunately, didn't immediately bring about a reunion with Eddie.

You knew that he seemed to be the master of the Upside Down now in the void left after Vecna's death, but he likened it more like a Stewardship.

"Alright Denethor," you had teased him. "Does that mean this is Minas Tirith?”

But that meant he had other...situations to attend to, although you doubted Vecna had ever been as thorough in his stewardship of the dimension as Eddie was.

You'd been with him a few times and witnessed it yourself. An overrunning of vines and tentacles in the town center, enough that the Demogorgons could barely pass. He culled the overgrowth with several waves of his hands. Or a bloody fight amongst the nests of creatures that had overtaken the quarry. He told you it always turned bloody when the demodogs play turned a little too rough. Especially with a runt like Cerberus.

You had stayed high above as he handled the troublemakers and then soothed his worries later that evening when he felt he was too rough on his friends.

Whatever it was that he had to deal with now though was serious enough for him to miss your return. Which...was fine; you understood. But it left you with too much time on your hands. Time to roam and think and overthink.

You wandered about the Creel House aimlessly, getting lost in the long and winding halls as easily as you got lost in your thoughts. At some point, you had the bright idea to find Patrick again, to ask him some more questions, but he seemed to vanish once you were back.

You called his name as you wandered the empty house, and eventually found yourself outside.

Found yourself outside of the garage.

It was a dilapidated but expansive multi-car thing set far along the driveway at the back of the property, with an overgrowth of dead shrubs and a busted door. Although the house was massive--the entire dimension was massive--the Brides had made the garage a home for themselves and the other vampires to stay close to Eddie. A spot to congregate and rest. Clean themselves, talk. You really didn't know.

You'd asked Eddie about it once, when you found that the pillars at the front of the house were not their natural home, but instead a punishment. You ignored the sour feeling that put in your stomach, and instead reasoned that they must live somewhere if not there.

He explained their whereabouts, and then told you to stay as far away as you could.

For your safety, he said, even if he had basically promised you were safe in the Upside Down under his protection.

You knew you still had to tell him of your...affliction, but you were beginning to wonder just how safe you were.

You knew you should have heeded his warning, but if you wanted to find Patrick, this was surely the place for it.

You crossed the yard as carefully as you could and you debated calling out for Pat, like you had in the house. But something deep down inside you held your words back.

Hell, your innate sense of danger seemed to hold you back, phantom hands grabbing at you to stop you, your legs suddenly weighted like lead.

But you were too stubborn, too stupid.

You shook all of your instinct off and then made it to the door.

It was silly, your first thought as you glanced through the cracked wood was that the vampires truly looked like a clique, and Chrissy defaulted to the place of Queen Bee.

She hung from the rafters of the garage, a mirror image to how she had looked in the trailer oh-so-many weeks ago. When she...Eddie...she...you had been seduced and then brought here. Several vampires surrounded her: Heather first and foremost--as gruesome as she looked, Eddie had assured you none of them felt any pain, this was just their state of being here--then a short distance away...Bob Newby, the old RadioShack manager, and a handful of others whose names even Eddie didn't know.

He didn't speak Russian, he told you, as if that was some sort of explanation.

Further recessed back in the garage was Fred, alongside a woman named Janet, and a man named Tom. You'd found out, sometime ago, that they were Heather's parents. Although aside from one instance where Janet's long and probing tongue licked along Heather's face you couldn't say you saw any familial behaviors between them.

Your mind went to Barb when you first found out, who was more creature than person during the attack on the square, and you wondered if the three of them were in the same state. Many of the vampires seemed lost to the concept of humanity or consciousness, actually, with the Brides being the most whole of them all.

They all chattered and hissed and spoke in that dastardly infernal speech, voices and sounds overlapping and combining into some wicked white noise. And while there was some manifestation of your power that you'd used several times in your stint as a Knight, to understand devilish languages and the garbled speech of creatures of the dark, you didn't want to risk using your abilities on something so silly.

But something deep in the dark pit that was growing inside of you--a feeling that you suddenly feared--seemed to beg you to do it.

It tempted you to do it. Taunted you. Played tug of war with your head and your heart.

You debated for what felt like hours.

Do it. Don't do it. But you needed to know. But your whole point to come out here was for Patrick, and Patrick wasn't here.

You took a step back, ready to turn and head back into the house and wait for Patrick to reappear or Eddie to return.

And then there was a screech and you froze momentarily, then stepped back towards the crack in the door.

Chrissy was standing upright now, the only one speaking, her hands flailing wildly. All eyes were on her as she made some kind of rallying speech...or told a story.

All bets were off.

You muttered some arcane old latin phrase and her words suddenly became known to you. Not quite English as a sound that hit the ears, but understood deep in your being. At least...partially.

It was broken. Maybe because you were broken.

The master. Betrayal. Weakness. Blood.

Still, those words caused anger to bubble up inside of you; what did she mean about the master and betrayal? Eddie? Were they plotting to betray him? Vecna? Maybe she was telling some story about how Eddie had turned on him to defeat him.

God. Sins. The Devil.

Then there was annoyance, and you rolled your eyes; yeah, Chrissy had been some Churchy Sue when she was alive, wasn't she? Although, it was a little pot-meet-kettle when you considered your literal occupation was soldier of God.

Subdue. Slaughter. Feast.

The last few words were said to the resounding cheers of the others, their hissing and screeching and roaring. Chrissy laughed and then they all began to move, fast enough for you to lose focus of them, and notice what else was in the garage.

Bodies. Dozens of dead bodies, faces petrified in fear, throats slashed from claws and fangs. Just like the remains of the dead in Hawkins.

You were confused for a moment, as the vampires all began to feed on their plunder; you had...just been in Hawkins, there wasn't an attack, was there? These seemed...fresh. Too fresh.

You tried to make sense of it all as you witnessed their feeding, refusing to look away even though you winced at the cracking of bones and tried to ignore the wet sloshing sounds of flesh being torn and consumed.

The difference in time...and Eddie's promise that they wouldn't feed on any more blood than they needed...wouldn't kill more than they needed...and they'd never brought bodies back before...

But then your thoughts stopped as the scene turned into...something else. As their ashen desiccated flesh became slick and wet with blood and they used the high of the feed to chase a new high.

As the remnants of clothes were shed and they became a writhing mass of limbs as they fucked each other, fucked the bodies--their parts--and fed on both. A true spectacle of revelry and temptation and monstrous animalism.

Decadent and dastardly consumption.

And you couldn’t be sure—it could have been a trick of the light or your fickle imagination—but after a few seconds, a set of pitch black eyes settled on yours and you felt like all of the air was stolen from your lungs.

You were no longer worried about being careful or cautious. You didn't care about Patrick or the intentions of Chrissy and the others.

You turned on your heel and ran.

Eddie returned when you were fast asleep, but you didn't stay asleep for long. You were plagued with nightmares of everything you had been through, everything you had witnessed since you'd crossed back into Hawkins.

It was suffering and wailing and shame. Wings and claws and pain and death, bodies raining from the sky, all tinged with an ever-present red hue.

You woke up screaming in his arms, and you sobbed into his chest as he whispered words of comfort.

You refused to tell him what was wrong, you didn't even know yourself, but he knew that if it was enough to give you bad dreams, it had to be bad. He insisted that you didn't leave his side for a few days, and then scooped you up and flew you both to the hidden little house at the outskirts of the Upside Down.

While you appreciated the quality time spent with him, soft caresses and kisses in the safe confines of this pseudo-home, quiet time was the last thing you wanted.

Because you just spiraled deeper into your thoughts.

As shocking as the scene in the garage had been, you had seen worse. Of course you had. It didn't mean it was any less shocking. But just the spectacle of it brought up more questions, more...reflection of yourself and the time spent since you'd been back.

Back in Hawkins and back with Eddie.

It was wrong. Everything was wrong. You just...couldn't seem to pinpoint the how's and why's of how wrong everything was.

Especially with what was happening to you.

And you tried to ignore the one word that stood out in your mind: corruption.

The day you found out about your family's legacy--the day that would have been your first communion, had you been anyone else but you--your father had showed you a journal. One of his, one of many, filled with words and lessons and histories.

"It's the journey to goodness," he said. "The chance for salvation. It takes time and effort to fill the book."

Just as he was about to place it in your hands, he took a bottle of black ink from his bag--asshole too dramatic to use a BIC pen--and spilled it on the pages, ruining them. Covering all of his words in darkness. Effectively erasing them.

"And that," he said, dropping the book in your hands, splattering your skin and your pure white communion dress with the dark, wet ink. "That is how easy you destroy it."

You'd read one his journals right after your induction into the Order. The last few entries in the absolute last journal. And while you'd argue he was probably out of his mind to begin with, you saw how mad he'd become in those final days before he'd been killed. His tolerance for the dark and arcane had simply become too much until he could no longer withstand its attack on him.

All of his efforts were lost in one fell swoop; he went straight to Hell.

Except, reading through them all and seeing his descent proved that lesson--the very first lesson--wrong. You didn't lose the battle against the darkness all at once, you sunk into it. You were corrupted by it. Especially when you had no reason to go on, and nothing else to fight for.

Now, looking around the room, at the cozy little house and Eddie seated by the window, you decided that you had plenty to go on for. He had always been your driving force ever since you met him.

So why did it feel like you were sinking into the darkness like your father once had?

You just had to figure out what the fuck was going on first.

You huffed and settled into the mattress and stared at the ceiling so you could think.

Actually think; not overthink.

First something was up with Fred, then Patrick, and now Chrissy and all of the other vampires, it seemed. All different situations, but confusing nonetheless. Concerning. Sure they'd all been...dangerous before but this was...unexpected.

And then what Patrick said. It? He? Lies? What? Who? Which lies? You couldn't make heads or tails of it all; you could make some assumptions but...considering what you witnessed in the garage, what if it was a trap?

Or what if it was just a coincidence?

Or maybe something else you hadn't thought of yet.

There were no celestial bodies here; no sun or moon or stars. What if it was a full moon in Hawkins, and there was some indirect effect that caused some erratic behavior here? What if the Brides--all of the vampires--were all affected like werewolves? What if Eddie was? He seemed normal, as normal as he could be. Besides, he was already biting you enough as it was...

You chuckled involuntarily at the thought and Eddie looked over at you from where he sat strumming on his guitar.

"What's so funny?" he hummed, mouth quirked in a grin.

"You don't feel a sudden and extreme aversion to silver bullets or something, do you?" you asked cheekily and he scoffed.

In a blur the guitar was set aside and Eddie laid his body along yours, face tucked into your neck where he growled and bit you playfully as you squeaked in laughter.

All worries and weakness and woes were forgotten as he filled your heart and body with happiness and affection.

"I thought you liked having a vampire boyfriend," he teased when you wheezed for want of air. "Now you want a werewolf?"

"First off," you heaved, trying to catch your breath. "No. I was just thinking of something stupid, and second no. No penny for my thoughts either! I'm just overthinking things."

"As you usually do, even though I'm sure you told yourself you weren't gonna."

"Touche, asshole."

Eddie laughed wickedly.

"Third," you continued. "I thought we've been over the fact that you're not a vampire."

"Oh right, I'm the king of the vampires, actually," he flashed his fangs at you.

"You," you poked him in the chest. "Are a nerd, Mr. Kas the Bloody Handed."

"Hey no. No. Henderson gave me that name, actually," he reminded you. "You can't blame me for picking it."

"I can blame you for looping him into Hellfire."

"They were playing DnD before."

"Uh huh."

He blew a punishing raspberry onto your throat and you swatted at him as you screamed in faux outrage.

"Fine," he leaned back, straddling your hips, and straightened his posture proudly. "Henceforth, it shall be known that I, Edward J. Munson, am not a vampire."

He waited a moment then leant back down.

"This is where you give me a round of applause," he said in a stage whisper.

You rolled your eyes and clapped half-heartedly.

"I am not," he continued. "Kas the Bloody Handed, or the right hand of the Wicked Lich known as Vecna."

You clapped again.

"I'm not Eddie the Freak either."

"You're Eddie the Asshole," you cupped your hand around your mouth and made a soft boo.

He ignored you and continued.

"No, I am Eddie, Prince of Hell," he announced in a proud and grumbling tone and then held his fingers over his head as false horns and stuck his tongue out at you as he hissed.

It was a gesture he'd made tons of times during your relationship, and before and after too you were sure. Fuck, you'd even done it a few times, at his insistence and of your own volition.

But seeing him now, towering over you, with that wicked gesture, and his claws and those sharp fangs...you froze.

Maybe not in fear.

"And you," he finally leaned back down and grazed his lips over yours softly. "My beautiful angel, so good and righteous, perfect for me to corrupt."

Shit, yes actually, maybe in fear.

He pecked a kiss to your lips and then noticed how still you'd gotten.

"Sweetheart, you ok?" he asked, voice back to normal.

You might not have answered but no, you weren't.

You weren't ok. You couldn't be ok.

You'd just been thinking about Hell and your father and your punishment and your descent. You thought about corruption and...it was like he had pulled the word right from your mind, as though you had broadcasted it loud and clear right across the room.

You suddenly felt that pit inside of you grow wider, you felt yourself sink into it, you felt yourself get weaker. Here in the depths of the Upside Down, so far into nothingness that you didn't even know which direction to go to get back to Hawkins and the gates and salvation, even if you tried.

Eddie called your name and your eyes, that had been staring into nothingness, focused back on him.

You were breathing heavily, hyperventilating.

"Everything's ok," he tried with a weak smile, "it's ok, what happened? It was just a joke."

"It's not a joke!" you snapped at him, voice shrill and accusing. You swallowed hard and closed your eyes. You tried again, softer this time, "you can't joke about that, Eddie. Please. You...you can't."

"I...I didn't."

He sounded hurt, and you bit back the lick of anger that flared up at the thought that he would feel some kind of hurt when he said something so careless. You held back the wrath that seemed to come from that dark void inside of you because he...he didn't deserve it.

You took a few breaths and kept your eyes closed.

You were not a deep breaths kind of girl, you were not one who needed to calm yourself down, typically; your warrior's resolve usually kicked into gear by now, making all of those bad feelings stop, but it was nowhere to be found.

And that made you panic more.

So you thought of the rolling hills around weathertop and 4th of July fireworks and crispy McDonalds hash browns eaten on a rainy day and you thought of...of movies that you guys watched together, huddled together on the couch in the trailer.

You thought of a kiss on your forehead, then each of your eyes, then the tip of your nose, then your lips...

You thought of Eddie, your Eddie who was very much right in front of you, but in some ways...not.

"I wanna go home," you whimpered. No, you wailed. It was a painful, pitiful sound and you held your hands over your mouth as it escaped you. You sniffled. "I have to go home."

Eddie scoffed now, the pain even more evident. "Sweetheart, we are home."

"No," you shook your head and looked up at him. "Hawkins home. The trailer...Rick's...home."

"And what about me?"

"You'll come with me."

"How?" he barked in laughter. "If you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of stuck here."

"Then I'll punch a hole through this fucking universe and haul you across singlehandedly," you said three your hands up defeatedly. "Eddie...I don’t…you asked the other day if I needed a break--"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Of course not!"

"Then what is it?" he demanded. In a blink he was on his feet, towering over you even more. "What is this?"

You made the attempt to calm down, to catch your breath for a moment, but he snarled at you. A harsh and wicked sound and you pushed off the mattress and got to your feet.

"Something's wrong with me," you shouted at him. "I don't know if you noticed, I don't know how you didn't, why you wouldn't. But something is wrong and I feel...like if I stay in the Upside Down for much longer I'm going to lose myself Eddie. I'm going to die."

"You're not going to die," he waved a hand dismissively.

"You need to listen to me," you begged.

"You need to listen to me, you're safe here, I'll protect you."

"It's not about protection. It's not about you--"

"Oh the it's not you it's me deal?!"

"Listen Eddie," you stomped your foot petulantly. "Every day I'm here I get weaker, the more I use my power...I lose it. It's been feeling better whenever I get back to Hawkins, but I don't stay for long enough. You already know, I've told you...if I try to connect to the earth here, I feel like I'm trying to jump start a car with a potato instead of an electric current. I'm not meant to be in a place like this."

His eyes were wide and desperate, and you could see the gears turning as he considered your words.

"Why didn't you say something before?" He asked.

"We were making too much progress to get you out," you muttered. "I didn't want to ruin it with my bullshit."

"Dying isn't bullshit, sweetheart. I mean it is. Believe me. But not like that." He pulled you closer, into his arms. "You should have said something."

"I know," you nodded.

"I could have...I don't know what I could have done, but I would have tried."

"It's not too late," you whimpered into his shoulder. "We...maybe I just need a few days to get back to Hawkins and rest."

He got stiff.

"And then," you continued. "And then I can come back and we can--"

"A few days?" he interrupted you. "A...a few days here...or a few days there?"

You backed away from him and stared at the hurt that warped his face into a wicked and pathetic thing. Frustration and anger and confusion all carving lines into his forehead and around his mouth.

"Either," you answered him, and his frown got deeper. "Both. Eddie I'm not...leaving you but I need to leave."

There was a pleading tone in your voice, and you prayed--fuck, you were doing a lot of praying lately, and who damn well knew who heard them, but you still did it--he would understand.

Eddie had always been expressive; always wore his heart on his shoulder, never had a good poker face according to Wayne. The only time you really didn't know what he was thinking was when he was a DM, when he stepped into the role of ultimate control and mastery over his players.

You didn't know right from wrong, truth from lies, good from bad when you were in his domain, in his dungeon.

That was who stood before you now. No Eddie, no Kas, no human, no vampire.

Gone was your boyfriend, and in his place...the Dungeon Master.

"And I," he took a deep breath, "I need you to stay."

You waited until night time.

Or at least, you thought it was night.

Eddie wasn’t lying when he'd mentioned that time didn't exist here; day, night, summer, winter...there was no telling just when you were in the Upside Down.

But you used your best judgment.

You'd planned this for days upon your return from the little house to the mirrored Hawkins; well, plan was a relative term.

You waited for the right opportunity. Bided your time and stewed in your frustration. Especially when Eddie didn't give you a moment of peace alone.

And then when everything was perfect, you could make your escape.

It felt so wrong to think of it as escape. Because that felt like...like you thought Eddie was dangerous, or that you were betraying him. No, you were just...taking a trip. You'd be back once you were better. If anything, you could send Dustin or Wayne to explain. Someone who he would listen to, because he certainly stopped listening to you.

But if you were going to survive, if you were going to recover, you needed to get back to Hawkins.

And tonight was your chance.

It was a miracle in and of itself that Eddie was sound asleep beside you and the house around you silent and still. You peeled yourself from the thick comforter on the bed and then padded out of the room with the lightest footsteps.

You were careful to make as little noise as possible; no shoes, only socks, and you stepped carefully on the floorboards so one wouldn't squeak unexpectedly under your weight. You cast the tiniest bit of your power, what little of it that didn't make you feel like dying, outwards to communicate with the house. If you felt the slightest shift of the floorboards or the support beams or anything, you'd adjust your footing and continue onwards.

You felt a strange sense of nostalgia wash over you; growing up, you usually slept down in Nonna's flat, but some nights you'd be upstairs. Typically when your father was home, so you and your parents could pretend you were a family.

You'd always have nightmares on those nights.

So you'd sneak back down to Nonna's where most of your things were and the bed was more comfortable, but if you weren't careful enough on the back staircase, Nonna would hear. Nonna always heard. You'd open the door to her flat--god, you could hear the sound of the door squeaking now as you crept along the dusty halls of the Creel House--and find her at the kitchen table with milk warming on the stove and soft, soothing words.

You always felt bad for waking her, so you got good at being as quiet and careful as possible. Got good at opening the door silently. Until there came a day--the day you finally left--where she didn't even know you'd gone at all.

You purposely avoided thinking of what you'd do if Eddie woke up; you had a feeling it wouldn't be warm milk and comforting words.

It took until the third turn down an unfamiliar hallway and coming face to face with a staircase that went up instead of down that the dread hit you and the panic began to set in.

You'd been watching the landscape of the Creel House change for weeks now. Little by little the hallways twisted and rooms moved until they became something strange and unfamiliar. At first you believed that it was Eddie making the changes in his boredom; thinking back now, with your endeavors to strengthen his grasp on his abilities, when would he have had the chance? Unless he'd made it even more convoluted in the past few days to keep you in.

Surely the house hadn't made itself a twisted mass like this, could it?

Who else, if not Eddie, could have done this?

If you eliminated all logical solutions, whatever remained, however improbable, must have been true; thanks, Sherlock Holmes.

But why would the house itself do something like this?

To keep intruders out or to keep its residents in?

To keep Eddie in?

To keep you in?

You turned to glance over your shoulder and watched the now-familiar sight of the doors rattling and breathing, one after the other down the hall you'd just walked down, until it reached you and the door nearest you groaned a warning. You felt the vibrations penetrate your aura and shake you to the core.

Stay, it seemed to say with a prolonged creak of wood and metal.

Stay forever, it pleaded.

It commanded.

That broke you from your brief stupor and you turned back on your heel and continued onwards as quickly and as carefully as you could.

Well, you tried.

Your socks kept getting caught on nails that seemed to sprout unexpectedly from the floorboards, like the dastardly prickling weeds in a garden. You winced as a spur in the metal of the handrail cut into your skin as you shuffled down a flight of stairs. You tripped at the bottom of one set of stairs, when you were sure the next step would be flat floor, but in a blink you had several steps to go, so you faltered and fell.

The dull thud of your heels against the worn carpet runner when you landed and found your footing made your heart stop in your chest.

You cast your divine sense outwards now, wincing at the feeling akin to a pulled muscle that radiated throughout your body, and you waited, hoping...praying that you wouldn't sense anyone or anything stir at the noise.

Should it have been a surprise that your prayers went unanswered? You really needed to stop doing that if it was gonna come bite you in the ass so much.

You didn't see any of it, didn't hear any of it, but you sensed it.

Groans and muffled infernal speech and wings and chitters and teeth snapping. Things hit the side of the house and then crawled their way inwards.

But you didn't feel Eddie, not yet at least...

Not until there there was a single, earsplitting snarl that echoed from above and the walls practically shuddered around you, like a sinister laugh as the house gleefully anticipated your punishment.

You didn't give him a chance, didn't give any of it a chance. You dropped your shoes down to step into them and then you ran.

You were already on the ground floor of the house; you could make it to the gate if you hurried. You felt a lump in your throat as you heard thundering footsteps above and more screeching; you were grateful that, at the very least, the maze that the house had become would hinder your pursuers just like it had hindered you.

Down this hallway and that, through one room and then another, until you saw the cracked door with the stained glass rose hanging off of its hinges, and finally you were outside. You could see the flowing gate, you could practically taste freedom, healing light, Hawkins.

Home.

But then you watched in horror as the fissured ground surrounding the gate began to rumble and churn and seal itself.

If Eddie hadn't realized that you were gone before, by some slim chance...he knew now.

You dashed across the wicked altar and past the empty pillars as far forward as you could to get to a portion of the gate before Eddie sealed it. You threw a hand out towards it to try and solidly anchor one point along the seam to stop him, to give yourself a chance.

You stumbled to a halt, shoes sliding into the dirt as you felt the practically unstoppable force of his power crash into yours. It shook you to the core, made your entire being vibrate, your teeth clatter, the marrow of your bones quake.

You gritted your teeth and dug your feet in the ground as you held him back; it was a battle of wills, because at this point you knew he was stronger, but you were a stubborn piece of shit and you weren't going to give this up so easily.

"Eddie stop," you grunted, as though he could hear you. His will to shut the gate let up for a moment, and then slammed back into your will to stop him. "Stop this. You need to let me go!”

I can explain, you wanted to tell him. Just let me go and I'll explain everything. I don't want to go; I have to go.

Even unspoken, it seemed he could hear those thoughts, feel those thoughts.

His response? A desperate and resounding no.

Instead of all of his power being concentrated on the gate, you felt the ground beneath you begin to move. It rumbled and cracked, and you faltered in your footing as it tilted with a sudden shift. Your focus on the gate broke, and the glowing crack continued to seal itself.

You felt that wicked, wrathful feeling that you'd suppressed the past few days grow in your chest again. How dare he not listen, how dare he claim to love you and then refuse to listen. A watch as you faded before his eyes, watch as his creatures encroached on you, watch as you died...and did nothing about it because he didn't want to lose you. Even for a day.

"Well fuck you too then," you muttered and you pivoted on the uneven ground and started running again, away from the Creel House, away from the gate.

Into the woods.

You used that wrathful feeling to kickstart a spark of strength, the way you'd been teaching Eddie not to do over the past few weeks, and you used that strength to become faster, swifter, more agile. Your footing became sure as you dodged branches and hopped over the viney, tentacle-laden ground.

The Upside Down was still in Eddie's control, he could find where you were if he wanted to, but you weren't going to make it easy for him.

Snarls and screeches and howls began to sound around you, as the creatures of the Upside Down were called to action and you felt their dark presences begin to close the distance between you.

Bats overhead, demogorgons running, their footsteps almost in tandem with yours.

You vaguely wondered if the purpose of this swarm was to catch you or to kill you. Did they all know? Did Eddie? If the Brides had all begun to act more unpredictable and predatory, outside of Eddie's command, what about all of these beasts? Had they slipped from his control too? Were you in even more danger now?

Feral red lightning flashed ominously overhead as you crossed the protective cover of the forest and turned onto a long and broken road; in fact, the whole sky had seemed to turn a shocking crimson instead of the murky, misty grey-blue that it had been the entire time you'd been here.

Like an ominous warning that there'd be blood shed on this night, whether you liked it or not.

You dodged the hoard of beasts as much as you could along an open stretch of road like this; what small bit of telekinetic energy you had was used to distract those that got close enough, rather than attack. Tree branches falling, car horns going off. Still, several bats and one demodog got their attacks in.

Sharp claws and teeth scratched at you, one bat's tail sliced across your throat in a stinging blow but you conjured enough strength to whip it away and through the jagged broken windshield of a car on the side of the road.

You were thankful that you were so successful in your ability to dodge them and steer them away from your desired path, until you crossed back into the woods again. Then all bets seemed to be off.

Your powers began to fail, your strength suddenly gone. That rage inside of you started to fizzle out and you felt the fatigue of running take its toll on you. Muscles twinging, lungs straining, even more than they usually did. A cold sweat broke out on your brow and the back of your neck, but you kept pushing further and further.

There wasn't that much to go; you began to recognize the nearby roads just up ahead through the trees, although you didn't dare follow them. If only you could get to this dimension's facsimile of Rick's House, and the barren Lover's Lake, before Eddie caught up to you, you'd be safe.

But what had Dustin said weeks ago? Eddie was some master strategist, that's why Vecna relied on him to be his right hand.

So it shouldn't have been a shock when a large, winged figure dropped to the ground just a few yards ahead of you, taking down branches and leaves and vines on its descent. You let out a broken shriek and skidded to a halt.

Patrick stood to his full height, wings outstretched and flapping in warning, then took a step towards you. For a moment, you saw his expression soften, just the way it had when you'd found him at the gate the other day, before it hardened again.

"Sweetheart," he cooed at you. Eddie cooed at you. "Why are you running from me? Why are you running away?"

You panted and looked around; you could hear other sets of large wings flapping overhead and several sets of racing footsteps gaining ground behind you. You'd be surrounded if you didn't act soon.

Your mind raced as you tried to consider what you could use to your advantage here in this place that you had no advantage at all. You were weaponless, you were weak. If you tried to attack Patrick with what little of your power you had left, you'd be empty.

But what could you do...yeah you were a Knight, but your power was lost to you here. Heaven was lost to you here. You were only Human.

And that's when it hit you.

Eddie might have been the Dungeon Master and a master strategist but even a player could trick a DM. He had told you that himself. And although you had only played DND a handful of times, you had real world experience in battle and victory against a dark foe.

How many dastardly dark villains' grand plans had you foiled? How many other strategies had you subverted? How many times had you saved innocent lives with your light?

You were certainly holy, but when it came down to it, no holy power could save you or stop them. If God wanted something destroyed, He could have sent His angels, could have done the job Himself.

Only He didn't. He relied on Humans.

Cunning and crafty. Weak and imperfect.

Just like you.

And Eddie.

And, despite the transformation that came with his resurrection, Patrick.

He'd shown you how human he was the other day when he cried for his family.

"Why do you want to leave me?" You turned back to him just in time to see Patrick scream and lunge for you. You did the most instinctive thing you could: you held your hands out to stop him, you shielded yourself.

It wouldn't do much to stop him--as strong as he was and as weak as you were--but it bought you time to think, time to feel. Especially as everything slowed down around you. You didn't feel the ground or the sky or all of the tricks you'd tried to teach Eddie over the past few weeks. It was all incompatible to you.

No, you felt Patrick himself. Physically. As he inched closer, as his claws grazed your skin so he could grab you, you let yourself feel for all of the parts of him that were still human.

Because those parts were not of this world, they were of your world.

His skin, his muscles, his tears, his heart. His soul. You felt the little electric currents that made his synapses fire, made him move, made him feel. They were all of the things that you were made of too. So if you just gave a little, you could take a lot.

The moment his fangs pierced your flesh and slashed across your arm, you willingly let yourself go into shock. Let your body go cold, let your limbs lose all feeling, let your lungs deflate as you lost your breath.

Once you were well and truly vulnerable--once Patrick's hunger took control and he pulled a mouthful of your life force--you pushed all of it outwards and shocked him. Sent a pulse of panic and pain and numbness into him like a wave, until every part of him seized.

His eyes widened for a moment, and then they drooped. The dead weight of his unconscious form fell onto you, sending you crashing to the ground.

"Fuck," you hissed and tried to push him off of you as you regained the autonomic control of all your bodily functions.

Well, that wasn't what you wanted to happen, but in all honesty, you didn't know what to expect. Not for it to work as thoroughly as it had, at least.

"You know what, I didn't shit myself or have a heart attack," you sighed as you finally got free. "That should count for something."

The racing beat of footsteps were approaching, and the wings overhead much louder; you needed to move. But as you pushed yourself onto your hands and knees so you could stand, you came face to face with the wide, panting, petal-like mouth of a demodog.

You immediately flashed back to '84, to the tunnels, to Dart roaring in your face until Dustin subdued him. But there was no Dustin here, and this wasn't dart; this was one of Eddie's hoard of creatures--Vecna's army.

It was over.

You closed your eyes and waited for the attack, the roar. For the bite...but it never came.

The demodog whined and sniffed curiously, then closed its mouth to be more cone-like and nudged its head against yours. Your eyes shot open and you stared at it; it tilted its head to one side and then the other, then opened its mouth again to pant.

"What are you..." you muttered and it leant its head down to huff around your arms. You winced as you believed it to be looking for your wounded arm or any of the other cuts or scratches along your body, but instead it nudged its cone-like head against your hand. Over and over until you finally brought it up and rested it against the creature's head. "Cerberus."

As though you had the time to spare, you gave Eddie's little friend the pets it desired, and as you did, you felt a familiar sense of calm wash over you. A calm that you typically felt around Eddie.

Goodness, silliness, love and companionship. All of the things you associated with Eddie, poured into this...dog thing.

You worried, for a moment, that this was some kind of trap. That Eddie was luring you into a false sense of security until one of the other Brides could swoop in, but it never happened.

In fact, several twigs snapped in the forest around you, and Cerberus abandoned your comforting touch to growl at the potential threat.

It growled and roared and snapped its mouth as you got up and it backed against your leg once you were upright. It followed you, kept up with your pace--as fast as you could go--as you jogged through the trees and jumped over the tentacles on the ground.

Cerberus was even careful of his steps, and if you decided to weave and change direction, it would run ahead and wait for you if the coast was clear.

It was nice, you realized, not to be alone.

You didn't know whether to feel relief or dread when Rick's house, and the glowing gate the bisected Lover's Lake behind it, finally came into view. Because along the path to your escape, a veritable swarm of creatures roamed.

Demogorgons slowly slunk back and forth, bats flew overhead, a pack of demodogs--not the friendly kind like Cerberus seemed to be--paced back and forth around the house.

"Well," you sighed down to Cerberus. "What should we do?"

As though it would answer.

But Cerberus understood, at the very least, and if you had thought it had been very Eddie-like in its temperament and the feelings that surrounded it, the actions it took next were taken right from the Eddie Munson playbook.

Cerberus started growling and hissing and spitting, and the swarm of creatures all began to stir and look around.

"What the--"

It started taking a few steps away from you, growling as you made the attempt to follow which made you pause, and then it started running, right towards Rick's house, right towards the swarm. You could see your little friend roar and get the other creatures riled up, and just when you expected them to turn back on you, maybe attack, they began to follow it away from the house.

Away from the gate.

Away from you.

The demogorgons, the bats, the other demodogs were all hot on its heels, and you wondered briefly if it had enough consciousness and awareness to pretend, to divert their attention and offer a distraction. Or if it had sacrificed itself, if your scent or imprint on the beast had spurred the others to chase and attack it, knowing that it had allied itself with you.

And you got the flashes of Eddie's memory of luring the swarm of bats away from the trailer and Dustin so he and Hawkins could survive.

Eddie Munson and Cerberus were both heroes.

You said a quick prayer for safety--and maybe in apology for your little friend's sacrifice--but you didn't let the opening Cerberus gave you go to waste. You ran, first for the house, and then down the sloped backyard towards the lake.

A few stragglers that hadn't followed Cerberus were taken care of with various levels of difficulty. You were close enough to the gate that you could practically taste the power that Hawkins offered on the other side, so you drew what strength you could to burn through a bat that swooped down to bite into your limbs. Or deliver an uncharacteristically hard kick into the side of a pouncing demodog and send it soaring.

Each defensive move left you feeling a little more drained but hopeful, because you were almost there.

That hope was only amplified as you watched the gate begin to glow and gape, just a few yards in front of you. The maw opened wider and wider until an arm jutted out, then a head and torso.

Until Wayne Munson and his worn jacket and shotgun finally emerged from the hole.

"Wayne," you called to him, cried to him, desperately. "You're here. How...wh--"

"Honey, what the Hell--"

You pumped your legs faster until your body slammed into his and your arms wound around him.

"What the hell happened," he repeated, trying to push you away. "You're bleeding? And the sky..."

There wasn't time for an explanation, but someone somewhere seemed to be looking out for you if he was here.

You quickly questioned how he knew to come.

"It was the darnedest thing," he shook his head. "I was sound asleep and then there was this...scratching on the side of the house. Shook the foundation if you could believe it. Went outside, found the siding all torn up and thought it had to be...the bats or the demogorgons or something. Imagine my surprise..."

He backed away from you and tucked his hand into the front of his jacket, then quickly extracted a grumpy-looking lump of grey fur and whiskers.

"...when all I found was this little kitty sitting on the porch."

Something softened in both you and Lucy when you locked eyes, and she leaned her head into your touch as you went to scratch between her ears.

"You're a little troublemaker, huh Lou?" you asked as she purred. "First you chase after Fred and now you're waking Wayne up in the middle of the night?"

She stared at you with all-knowing eyes, as if to say you actually got yourself into these messes and I'm just here to help.

"Glad she did," Wayne scoffed. "I went over to the kitchen to see if I had any tuna and I saw the god damned gate glowing again. There was a bunch of smoke. Decided to come investigate and Lou here wouldn't leave me alone until I scooped her up and brought her with."

You were about to make a joke along the lines of curiosity killed the cat when large wings flapped overhead and you and Wayne turned to find that you weren't alone anymore.

First Fred made his descent, swooping low enough overhead that you and Wayne had to duck to avoid his claws.

Then Chrissy in an elegant flutter.

And finally, a vengeful-looking Heather appeared behind them, dislocated jaw practically detached altogether when she roared at you upon landing. Her long prehensile tongue flailed and she spat bile blood and spit across the distance.

"Dear Lord," Wayne dropped Lucy--whose hackles were immediately raised at the dangerous appearance of the three bat-creatures--softly to the ground so he could cock his shotgun and aim it at them.

"The Lord can't save you here Uncle Wayne," Chrissy taunted him and took a step closer, wings dragging along the dirt behind her lazily. Those weren't Eddie's words spoken through her; he wouldn't talk to his uncle like that. Hell, it didn't even sound like the Chrissy you had become familiar with; it was whatever had been in control in the garage. "I don't even think you can save yourself."

There was a thud and a shuffle behind you and you turned, now back to back with Wayne, to find three more vampires there. Ones you'd recognized from Chrissy's little orgy: Bob, Doris, and Janet in various stages of desiccation and decay.

For the first time all night, there wasn't just fight or flight. There was true fear.

Because you were surrounded.

You knew there were more vampires out there. If these six had gotten the jump on you, were the rest stealthily waiting for their opportunity to strike overhead. And moreover...where was Eddie?

Doris screeched impatiently in front of you and Lucy quickly shuffled at your feet so she could hiss in return. You tried to shush her, tried to lean down and pick her up to keep her safe but she batted at you too, and then turned back to the creatures.

"Hey now, let's take it easy," Wayne spoke softly. You felt him shift as he, presumably, lowered the shotgun. "I didn't come here to cause any trouble. Just came to see Eddie."

"Bit convenient," Fred chuckled sardonically. "You make your little visit on the same night she tried to run away."

"I don't think she was running away," Wayne responded. "She's due to come back any time now, aren't you honey. Get some supplies?" He didn't wait for you to speak before he continued his spieling. Trying to buy time, you hoped.

The banter went back and forth, but you focused on Lou and the threat in front of you and how you could possibly use the beings that surrounded you--earthly or infernal it didn't matter--to your advantage if anyone attacked.

Wayne asked where Eddie was, curious enough for the both of you. And a collective laughter shook all 6 vampires around you.

"He's a little busy, actually," Fred sneered. "Dealing with a traitor."

You clenched your jaw and fought through the tears that burned your eyes.

Did he mean Cerberus? Or was it all a ruse? Surely if Eddie wanted to stop you from leaving, he would come to get you himself. Deal with this himself. Instead of going to punish his friend for helping you. But if he trusted his creations to feed him your location...and they were out of his control...

"He'll be here soon enough," Chrissy hummed, sounding a little too sure of herself, like the cat that got the canary.

Wayne relaxed for a moment and scoffed kindheartedly, the way a neighbor would; you bit back whatever swear was at the tip of your tongue. The Munsons and their distractions.

"Say now, you're the Cunningham girl aren't you? Saw your mom at Bradley's the other day."

"That's not gonna help," you muttered over your shoulder.

"Can't hurt to try," he shrugged.

Yes, actually. It could.

You didn't know who made the first move; probably Heather if she thought Wayne was preoccupied with Fred and Chrissy. She thought, as though the distraction was anything other than a product of the hive mind. But someone made a move, which made Wayne raise the shotgun again and take a shot as quickly as he could.

There was a wet, popping sound and a roar, and then chaos followed.

It was a flurry of wings and teeth and infernal words. Lightning flashed in the sky overhead and the ground quaked around you, causing your footing to falter.

So you were right; the Upside Down itself was suddenly a player in the game.

Wayne reloaded the shotgun with rounds from his jacket pocket to take pot shots at whatever vampire he could.

Heather and Chrissy were quick to launch an aerial attack, much like they had in the square. They dodged Wayne's shots and dived to hide within the safety of the gates before emerging. Chrissy was slower-- Wayne's first shot having hit her--and used the apparent disadvantage to their benefit. Wayne kept trying to finish the job with her while Heather made diving attacks to swipe at you.

You tried pulling the same stunt that you'd done on Patrick to incapacitate both Bob and Doris. They had been unsuspecting in their power as they both seemed like candidates to be the weakest of the group, but given the amount of human parts that you could sense left in them--precious little compared to the others--you were glad to take care of them first. Doris practically melted when you sent the shockwave through her, energy pulled from all of the vampires collectively.

It took more to take Bob out, though. He resisted a few more moments and took several more steps. You cried out and fell to the ground as he slashed at you, claws gouging deep across your thorax, before he went down himself.

And somewhere in that mess, was Lucy.

Little Lucy. The sweet, grey, short-haired cat who you and Eddie had fed tuna to once upon a time and whose favor had been won, apparently, til the end of time. Who dodged the footsteps and claws and shots until she had the chance to swipe at assailants as an attack of her own.

Queen Lucy. Small but brave and mighty. Like her namesake Lucy Pevensie.

Who suddenly grew with each growl and hiss, whose claws dug deep into the ground, whose back seemed to grow sharp, long spines until she was large and imposing and terrifying to behold.

You watched her transformation in awe as your hand pressed against your wounds, and somewhere deep down inside you the words I told you so bubbled and threatened to burst from you.

Because you had told Eddie, once upon a time, that Lucy wasn't just a cat. No she was a great, fabled predator and protector.

Lucy was a Splintercat.

Her tiny meow was suddenly a thunderous roar, and she immediately went on the offensive. She pounced and clawed at the vampires as they tried to take to the air, batting them off course and shredding their wings. In some wild maneuver, she somehow impaled Fred along her spiney back and then scraped his barely-living carcass off on the trunk of a nearby tree, a possible feast once you won this fight.

If you could win this fight.

But you would not.

The rest of it was a blur. Literally.

You were on the ground, losing blood fast; you drew power from everything that you could around you to try and keep yourself stable but the radiating pain from Bob's attack only made the use of your abilities harder.

You watched helplessly as Lou chased and pounced after Janet, who had set her sights on your prone and rapidly-weakening form, and Heather decided it was the perfect chance to strike, with your protector distracted. Wayne, of course, offered some cover. He took one shot, then another to try and stop her.

Suddenly, a loud, demon-like screech rang across the barren lake as Eddie's large, infernal, monstrous form appeared. He dropped down on heavy feet and his eyes flashed dangerously as he surveyed the scene before him, softening only when he spotted you on the ground, wounded and, yeah you could admit, probably bleeding out.

You whispered his name pathetically as Lucy took a more protective position, placing herself between you, other vampires forgotten as a much more powerful adversary had arrived.

Eddie roared and screeched again, and everything stopped. Heather and Janet dropped and fell to the ground at his feet. Even Fred, with his mangled body, seemed to clasp his hands as he begged.

Chrissy, though, seemed to ignore his orders. Her sights were set on her prey and she would have her fill.

With the ear-splitting sound that echoed across the lake at Eddie's arrival, Wayne had dropped his shotgun to cover his ears. And the lack of defense was perfect for Chrissy's attack. She swooped down and grabbed him, then soared upwards; her clawed hands and feet pierced through his body as her fangs ripped deep into his throat and she quenched her thirst.

You screamed for him, and Eddie's eyes tore away from you and locked straight onto them.

He took to the skies to chase after Chrissy, and Lucy saw it as the perfect distraction to take advantage of. Her wide mouth--damn, she was a lot bigger up-close--scooped you up like a much smaller cat would the carcass of a bird or a rodent. She was as gentle as she could be but you still felt the prickles of her sharp teeth pierce through your clothes and skin.

And as she turned and bounded for the gate, you watched in horror as Eddie finally reached Chrissy and fought to subdue her.

In his rage, Eddie seemed to forget the most important thing.

In their tussle, Chrissy let Wayne go to protect herself from her master.

And you watched helplessly as Wayne fell, fell, fell.

It was a mess of slashes and claws and wings, flailing silhouettes against the carmine backdrop that was the sky.

Just like your nightmare.

The last thing you heard before it all went black, was the sickening crunch as Wayne's body hit the ground.

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” - E. A. Bucchianeri

Next Chapter: Miserere Mei Coming Soon

[anfie-in-the-box]

Turns, twists, and paradoxes

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Notes

I honestly don't know how it happened. I was just writing for a while and then it's just finished??? What's even going on?.. But whatever, please enjoy!

Also, please be careful, there's some self-deprecation here because Nightmare. Yeah.

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Chapter 3

Nightmare lets Killer eat in peace, fleeing back to his room the moment he announces the need to go to the castle. It's such a risk — he just knows there'll be an ambush. The main gang left him easily, no strings attached, no words needed, but the others… Some will riot. Make him pay for how he's used them. And he'd deserve it — but he can't die, not when his brother needs him so. 

So, yes, he's stalling. Nightmare admits it. 

But Killer eats quickly — eager for a mission? Maybe, but maybe not. Nightmare doesn't even understand why Killer stays, what made him choose Nightmare instead of freedom. It'd have been different if Killer hadn't known what to do with this freedom; but he has Colour, who'd readily, happily help. And yet… 

There's a knock on the door. It's tempting to answer "Who's there?", let himself get distracted, fool around while he can; only Dream needs his big brother now more than ever, and Nightmare can't let him down. Can't let him die under the curse he somehow survived. 

He opens the door. Killer stands there, a playful smile on his face, his broken soul a target once again. Nightmare feels him bottling up his feelings, making the guardian of negativity stronger. 

"I'm ready to go, boss," Killer says, waiting for orders. 

Why? 

Once again, Nightmare doesn't ask. He thinks he couldn't bear the answer. 

"Let's go, then. Open a portal near the castle, not inside." It's honestly a miracle Nightmare's voice doesn't tremble. He's used to pretending, that's what he's done to survive under the corruption's influence for centuries, but now it's suddenly hard. Now he doesn't have an excuse to be something he isn't. Now he's by himself.

Killer tears space and time with his knife, giving way like a loyal servant he is. 

But why? 

Why? 

Why?..

Nightmare doesn't ask. He steps through the portal. Several sources of hostile negativity hit him — he was right. Someone is waiting for him. There'll be a fight. And he's weakened still. Would Killer be enough to protect them both and win? 

"We're not alone," Nightmare warns him while he closes the portal. The negativity swirls around them, feeding Nightmare's soul. The castle is dark and menacing, and so very familiar. 

Killer smiles savagely, "Let them come. I'll play, and I'll win." 

Nightmare would like to have his confidence. The servants of his corrupted self are dangerous, and most have nothing to lose. Now that he can't protect himself, now that his crown has fallen with his curse… 

They proceed quietly, cautiously. It's eerily silent, not a whistle of wind, not an echo of voice. Everything's dead, or seems to be; Nightmare knows better. It's not the realm of the dead, where Reaper would rule; it's the graveyard of hopes and dreams and all good and light, where Nightmare used to thrive with his gang of desperate rejects. Cross is not the only one to find a second chance and betray him, but there are few happy endings for those who end up by Nightmare's side.

They are ambushed in the main hall, predictably. Killer pushes Nightmare aside, yells to him not to get cornered, and rushes to fight. Nightmare watches raptly, ready to run, although he's not sure where to. Enemies could be anywhere. 

But suddenly, Killer's not alone in his struggle against a crowd. With disbelief, Nightmare recognises Murder and Horror, who join the battle without a word, the same as they left him when the curse had fallen. It gets easier then — what Error used to call the Murder Time Trio is used to fighting together, smooth and clean team work. Horror chops heads with his axe without a sign of mercy — Nightmare still remembers how he refused to harm monsters and only dealt with humans at first, but then Nightmare made him hate monsters who, unlike his dearest brother, have enough food and magic in their worlds. Yet he still only uses magic on humans; his bones are more physical than others', so they deal less damage to those who don't have actual flesh. Murder fires blasters and summons sharpest bones, turning to dust several enemies at a time. He never uses weapons beside his own magic and especially hates knives — and Killer, who uses those. Nightmare knows all about his former subordinates, their fighting styles and their insecurities the same. He's hurt them so much, and here they are, saving him. 

It ends. 

Enemies flee. Those who stay alive, that is. That's not many. 

Just like that. 

Nightmare can't get his eyes off of them, mesmerised. They're so good. 

"Killer," Murder says, not unkindly. 

"Murder," Killer returns with the same neutral tone. Those two were never friendly, not with their backstories, not with their attitudes. Not with the way Nightmare fueled their animosity. It pours right into his soul, making him stronger. 

"Nightmare," Horror notices, and then everyone stares at the one who used to be their king. 

"Are you okay, boss?" Killer asks, taking a step closer. Nightmare nods, and then, without a pause, bows. 

"Horror. Murder. Thank you for your help. You didn't have to." 

Why did they stay? Did they also hope that Nightmare would return? 

Murder huffs, shaking off the dust, and Horror responds with his deep, guttural voice, "We really didn't." 

Nightmare can't help asking, "Why are you here?" 

This time, Murder answers, "There's nowhere else for us to go." Horror nods, "It's not home, but it's somewhere to be." Murder adds, "Horror visits his brother as usual, but that's it." 

And isn't that right? They have nothing but this miserable place. Nightmare made sure of it. 

The thought makes him ache. They didn't deserve this hell. Nobody deserves something like that. Not even Nightmare himself. 

"Why did you help, then?" somehow, Nightmare finds it in himself to continue. 

He's still bowing deeply. 

"Because it's something, and you were the one who gave it to us," Horror answers easily. His single blood-red eye-light shines in the dim light of the hall. 

Nightmare chokes on words, helpless against such brutal honesty. Is it really that easy? Might that be why Killer stayed, as well? He doesn't know. 

He isn't ready to know. 

He doesn't want them here, as grateful as he is for their help. Killer wouldn't have done it alone. There were too many of them, waiting for their revenge. 

"Why don't you both go to Farmtale?" Nightmare asks, weakly. It's cruel to himself to continue, but it's cruel to them to let it end here, and Nightmare knows what he'd choose. He doesn't deserve mercy. "I know Horror befriended their Sans. Anything's better than here." 

"Not anything," Murder grumbles, crossing his hands on his chest. He must mean his AU, Nightmare thinks. Long gone, a courtesy of Error, but never forgotten. 

"It's an idea though," Horror admits. "I'll ask." 

Please do, Nightmare thinks, desperately. I want this wrecked place empty and forgotten. 

"Why'd you still call him boss?" Murder asks Killer, and Nightmare really tries not to squirm. It's a question he'd also like to know the answer to, so he listens attentively. 

"Because boss is boss," Killer shrugs. "What's so difficult about that?" 

Murder huffs again, turns around and disappears without a word. Horror smiles uncomfortably widely and teleports, too. Nightmare blinks at the empty space they leave behind. 

"Let's just go to the library," he sighs heavily. "I don't sense any more hostility in the entire AU, so that must be it." 

They go.

Nightmare knows his library quite well, but even he can't contain centuries of knowledge in his head. So he searches, ordering Killer to stand guard, just in case. There aren't many books on Multiverse even in his vast collection, so it must be quick. He feels he won't be able to find anything here, but maybe, just maybe… merely a hint, it's all he needs… 

Nightmare won't admit he doesn't know what he's doing. He has to know; he can't let his brother down once again. He already left him for centuries and almost killed him countless times. Enough betrayal. He'll do anything to redeem himself, even if he doesn't know how to be anything but evil — he was just a kid when corruption took over, after all. But he'll try. For his brother. 

There are even less books on Multiverse than Nightmare expected, some of them more like diaries by outcodes he either killed or turned to his side. But it's exactly what he wanted — perhaps there is an outcode who can help, who knows more. 

While skimming through the books, Nightmare lets himself relax a little — his broken body aches less here, where negativity's so thick the air is dark and heavy. It brings relief, though undeserved, but he really needs it to focus. 

It feels like an eternity passed when he finally finds something. In hindsight, it's rather obvious — only he doesn't know how to get there. 

Or perhaps he does. 

"Killer!" 

He teleports by Nightmare's left side so he sees him approach. 

"Did you find something, boss?" he asks, curiously. 

"I think I did," Nightmare responds, gently caressing the page he stopped on. Killer seems to stare right at his fingers, although without eye-lights there's no proof, it's merely a feeling. It does something strange to Nightmare's soul, Killer's attention.

"So what's the plan?" Killer sounds eager, tossing his knife from one hand to another.

Nightmare sighs, "We need Error. He's the only one I know who knows where to find the people we need." 

Killer stops tossing his knife. "Do we still have any of his strings left? I don't know how to find him otherwise." 

"Me neither," Nightmare admits. "And no, I don't think I have. They were hidden in the goop, but now…" 

"Does Dream have them, then?" 

"I don't know. We can't wait until the meeting anyway, I want answers before that." 

"Would he even help us?" Killer says aloud exactly what Nightmare fears. He shuts the book and goes to put everything he took back in its place, just to delay the moment he has to answer. Only suffocating negativity of this world helps him keep breathing. 

"I don't know," he finally admits. "But between you and me, I'm sure we can think of something. Error can be… unreasonable, but I'll find a way." 

"We will," Killer corrects. "You're not alone, boss." 

It's sickening how warm Nightmare feels all over. He doesn't deserve such loyalty. 

But he has to move forward. 

"Let me focus. I'll find the source of negativity in the Anti-Void, and if we're lucky, it will be Error." 

Killer nods and turns to stand guard once again. 

Why does he do it? 

Nightmare can't make himself ask, as painful as it is not to know. He closes his left eye — his right doesn't work, it doesn't see and it doesn't close, forever wide open, — and enters the meditative state. It's easier than he expected, to be completely honest. There are so many thoughts buzzing in his head, yet they all disappear in a moment when he concentrates. 

At first he only feels this world. There are several souls here, wallowing in negativity, not Horror and Murder alone. They're just not hostile, but they stay. Maybe Nightmare should try to talk to them, send them away — he really, truly wants this place empty and forgotten. Maybe later, when he's not as vulnerable. He'll need to come back here for his books, after all.

Then, he feels surrounding AUs, and then — just because he's in a place with highest level of negativity, he's not as strong without the corruption — he feels the Multiverse as a whole. It's suddenly overwhelming, although it shouldn't be surprising — he's gotten weaker indeed. Nightmare's knees would buckle and give if he weren't sitting. And then, finally, with significant effort, he feels the Anti-Void, certainly not the whole thing but some parts. That's enough. It has to be.

It's hard to pinpoint particular sources of negativity, but Nightmare knows Error and doesn't really know other residents of the Anti-Void, so it's comparatively easy to find exactly what he looks for. Error's always dissatisfied with something, even watching Undernovela and eating his favourite chocolate, surrounded by his precious dolls, or destroying yet another AU. The Multiverse won't cease existing no matter how hard Error tries, and it leaves him mad — in both senses of the word, angry and crazy. Nightmare knows Error, although he's not a normal subordinate, more like an ally with conflicting interests — he wants AUs gone while Nightmare wants them suffering but alive. There's no emotions in the dead. That's Reaper's territory. 

So Nightmare finds Error and, hesitantly, opens a portal. Anti-Void is fickle, unstable, they might as well end up in a completely different part than where Error is. Only errors and other residents of the Anti-Void can navigate it well. 

This time, Killer steps through first, ready to protect. Nightmare follows. 

The portal closes, leaving them with endless, maddening whiteness.

They need to find Error quickly. It'll take time to negotiate, and Anti-Void is never patient with its visitors. 

Killer turns around, grinning at Nightmare, then readies his knife and moves forward. Nightmare goes right after his… whatever Killer is now. 

He'll deal with that later. 

For now, he trusts Killer watch their surroundings and tilts his head back to see if there are any blue strings in the "ceiling".

He thinks he sees something. They go faster.

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Credits

Undertale © Toby Fox

Dreamtale © jokublog

Killer!Sans © rahafwabas

Murder!Sans © ask-dusttale

Horror!Sans © horrortalecomic

Dark Cream © zu-is-here

X-tra Dark Cream © me (anfie / anfie-in-the-box)

Read it on ao3

Read Russian version on ficbook or fanficus

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Notes

I don't know how I feel about the fight scene. I kind of skipped it because I've never written any (and because Nightmare doesn't participate in the fight), but is it okay? Feel free to tell me your thoughts on that and everything else, anything at all!

Hope you enjoyed, and take care 🌻

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