#also I'm well aware this is a romance novel. I went into this knowing that

[secondbeatsongs]

you know a book is romance-focused when there are multiple full scenes of people doing home repair and gazing softly at each other, but then when a main character interviews a literal convicted murderer, it happens offscreen

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

I just need one little thing clarified...

"...reducing him to an object of sick twisted lust..."

"...making him a porn object and writing downright disgusting things..."

I totally get about toxic sexualization, but just want to ask: it's not about healthy romance and making love with a true soulmate, right? it's about toxic things only?

i usually write romances about healthy OTPs, and i wrote one for Magnifico, it also included making love. I'm just afraid to... be accused of this toxic sexualization or something.

please do not consider it rude, your words are matter to me. 🙏🏻

Hey dear 💙

Don't worry, I got you!

I absolutely meant unhealthy, toxic sexualization only. I wasn't talking about writing healthy romance and intimacy between two soulmates. I was talking about things some people said. I will not repeat what I've seen but to put it decently, those comments went above and beyond "I would like to have intercourse with him."

To further clarify my point. When I first saw Magnifico, I was like "Hoooooo ma goodness, he HOT!!" And that was never in a sexual way. Just me adoring and gushing over his beauty. Cause he's dang handsome, alright. The sky eyes, the high cheekbones, defined jaw, neat hair, goatee!! Heck the goatee ❤️😩🤌🏼 the BODY, the smile ... I see this man and my heart skips a beat.

You know, that squealing, giggling, fangirling kind 🫶🏼

But seeing some people making comments about what they would like to do to him *gag* ... And I kid you not, it read like someone was quoting a porn script. Or for some, the first and only thing they think of is something sexual. When I said that some reduce him to an object of sick twisted lust, I meant exactly that.

It's also not someone just saying something like, "I bet he's skilled." If you know what I mean. Still, ok, weird. But at least it's nowhere near explicit.

Such thoughts never crossed my mind even once. The fact that this is even happening is so sad.

I'm so shocked and deeply disgusted by what I read some people say, part of me just wishes to erase it from my memory. Also, what the heck are fanarts of *eherm* full blown nudity of him even doing online? And I don't mean shirtless only. Good grief, I know most of us Magnifico-defenders are mid-teens, young-adults and adults but I just picture some kids scrolling through social media for WISH fanart and then they suddenly get a drawing of below waist porn shit. Ew! Seriously what the frick, EW!

I also wasn't talking about portraying sex in the right, healthy way in a novel or fanfiction. This is a whole topic for itself. In my humble opinion, a good writer can bring all the right feelings across without having to write every single damn detail. I'm writer and I always give the advice : You need to be able to show the reader whats happening without becoming explicit.

I'm aware that writing intercourse is a very delicate topic and tbh it's tasking even for a professional writer. As a christian, I'm standing for closed-door romance. Meaning, I read and write intimate scenes non-explicitly. And honestly, that to me is so much more fulfilling than writing or reading explicit scenes. To be able to make the air sizzle and the readers heart pount without getting explicit is a skill and there is so much beauty in it if it's done well.

Because, like you said, love-making is so much more than just an act! It's God's gift to soulmates. It's the highest form of expressing endless true love. It's becoming one, it's two souls made for each other melting together. It's meant to be beautiful! It's meant to be pure. It can be wild passionate fire just as much as it can be tender and sweet.

And exactly that is also why my heart bleeds and breaks when I see sick stuff online.

I hope this clarified my statement and helped you a little bit 💙🫶🏼 if you have any more questions or want to have me give out advices as a professional writer, I'm always here for it!

[silverstoryteller]

Here we go, part one of my Dark Rise readthrough! Beware, as this series will include spoilers for both Dark Rise and Dark Heir. I have read the Captive Prince trilogy, so I was already pretty sure I'd love it once I did read it, but I put it off for a while until I was ready to get into a new fandom. (And also until the second book came out.) I did manage to avoid almost all spoilers going in; I knew from reviews that there was a twist at the end, and knowing Pacat, it was going to be a good one. Ditto, the romance: I knew there was a dark-haired protagonist with a bitchy blond love interest and that their names were Will and James but, crucially, not which was which. I also had the cover of the sequel to go off of, which did influence my theories just a bit.

So, knowing the above plus the summary of the first book, I made a pre-book prediction: The twist was going to be that the supposed Chosen One was going to turn out to be the big bad, or related to him, and that it would turn out he was aware of this the entire time. And yeah, I was pretty much spot on, wasn't I? It's a testament to Pacat's skill as a writer that by the time I got to the twist, it still surprised me that I turned out to be right. I had been leaning more toward Will being related to the Dark King, not being him. I wasn't sure Pacat would actually go that far, but oh boy, I loved being wrong!

This post will cover the Prologue and the first chapter.

Prologue

First of all, the map is very nice. I did notice there’s no indication of Bowhill on it, which, I realize it’s likely outside the bounds of this map, but I’d still like an indication of which direction it's in, but oh well.

Confession time, the first time I read this book, I vaguely remembered that one of the main couple was named James, but I got it in my head somehow that that was the name of the MC, not the bitchy blond LI. So I read this entire prologue under the impression that James was the protagonist, and all I thought was, ‘Wow, Pacat sure is bold, introducing a flash forward that shows her MC being a total asshole. I figured he’d turn out to be an edgy bad boy by the end, but this is a lot more than I was expecting!’

Then I got to Chapter One and Will’s introduction and, ‘Oh, nevermind, I’m just dumb.’

I did catch on during my first read that James was formerly with the Stewards, so I wasn't shocked when that was revealed later.

“He said the words like there was a system of honor in the world, like all you had to do was appeal to a person’s better nature and goodness would prevail.” I bet that's exactly what smol James tried to do when he got kicked out of the Hall, and now I'm sad.

‘“The boy’s alive.” James felt hotly resentful that it made him stop.’ I do wonder why, at this point, James seems invested in a boy he hasn’t even met yet. Is he that invested in Simon's plans at this point? I have a half-baked theory about it, but I’ll talk about that in one of the later chapters.

Chapter One

Will! <3 Despite my pre-book prediction, I got taken in by Pacat’s misdirection pretty early on, so a lot of his sneakiness in the early chapters went right over my head. Look at him, saving a stranger from a totally random accident that occurred because somebody didn't do their job right, I’m sure it's a coincidence that tying the ropes was Will’s job and that's the part that just so happened to break and lose all of Simon's cargo. What a sweet boy! (No, but seriously, he must have felt so guilty that he almost got an innocent person killed.)

Also, I found myself thinking about the details of barges during my first readthrough, and I realized that, hey, I’d never once wondered about how they stopped river barges so they didn't run into the docks in the 1800s in my life, but now I know, and that's neat! I love it when authors flex about all the research they did before writing their novel.

“Accidents were common on the docks. Just last week Will had seen a plodding draft horse shy unexpectedly as it pulled a barge along the canals, breaking its ropes and overturning its boat.” Pacat's got me so paranoid now that I'm half convinced Will caused this accident too.

Hey, are we ever going to find out what's up with the mirror, or is Will literally just hallucinating his past life onto a convenient surface?

[doggernaut]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you to @cricketnationrise and @the-lincyclopedia for the tags! I'm not sure if many of my answers have changed since the last time I did one of these, but it's been a while, so.

How many works do you have on ao3?

54

What's your total ao3 word count?

613,109

What fandoms do you write for?

I only have works for Check, Please! on ao3, but I have also written for Parks and Recreation and Baby-Sitters Club.

Top five fics by kudos:

All I Want is You 

Just Jack

Here Comes the Sun

I Only Have Pies for You  (honestly surprised this one is in the top 5!)

And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to every comment, but sometimes I fall short. I do appreciate every single one, though!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm pretty sure that anybody who's read my stories knows I only write happy endings. Even if there is angst at some point in the fic, you can count on that "angst with a happy ending" tag.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lol, see above. Though I will maintain that And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here? and And you may say to yourself, my god, what have I done? might be the happiest simply because they each have (spoiler alert) three happy endings.

Do you get hate on fics?

I'm sure there are people who don't love my writing for whatever reason, but fortunately they've kept it to themselves.

Do you write smut?

Any attempts have probably fallen short of being actual smut. It's not my favorite thing to write (so many body parts to describe and keep track of!) but sometimes the storyline dictates it.

Craziest crossover:

I'm not generally a fan of crossovers (though I've read some great ones in various fandoms!) and have never written a true crossover, but Pucks and Recreation was inspired by Parks and Recreation.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A BSC fic with a bunch of people from the old FameTracker (I am showing my age) forums. It is (or was, last time I looked a few years ago) on FF.net. Once I randomly saw somebody somewhere online describing the fic in question but thinking it was a real BSC book they'd read, so that was pretty cool.

All time favorite ship?

Jack/Bitty, Ben/Leslie, and let's go way back to my formative grumpy/sunshine ship: Jack and Jennifer from Days of Our Lives. It imprinted on me when I was 11 and I'm probably remembering it as being better than it was, but it was a good time.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

At this point, I really don't know. I have a lot of "WIPs" that consist of a couple of paragraphs of dialogue or bullet-point lists or whatever and who knows if I'll ever dust them off. But I'm currently making an effort to finish everything I've put serious time into.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Description.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As a reader I don't have a problem with it if it makes sense for the story. As a writer I probably wouldn't, simply because I don't speak another language well enough to incorporate it.

First fandom you wrote in?

That I actually published online? The Baby-Sitters Club, in like 2005. Ever? I went through this phase of writing self-insert fics when I was in sixth grade. Usually they involved me dating whichever character was played by an actor I had a crush on. I was not aware I was writing fanfic at this time. I'm pretty sure I wrote a fic in which I was in a band with Doogie Howser, MD and he asked me to be his girlfriend? THANK GOODNESS this was in an era before I had access to a computer with internet.

(A year or so later, I was still writing, but it was very bad romance fiction modeled after all the Harlequin romance novels I was reading at the time. Still just as cringe. My middle school BFF used to read them and write praise/critiques in the margins and I still remember this one long back-and-forth where we argued about how long a first kiss should last, because neither of us had experience in that department.)

Favorite fic you've written?

I don't know! I love all my children. Truthfully it's probably one of my multi-chapter fics, but I tend to favor whichever I'm in the mood to read at the moment. Maybe today it's Home Like Apple Pie.

[asexualbookbird]

So you are looking for a pallet cleanser of a book? A specific genre or anything is good? I want to help!

I mean I guess?? I guess I am huh xD

I want an urban or dark fantasy, easy to read, I don't care about romance because I know that comes with the genre, but I don't like ABO at ALL, which sucks because I love werewolves. I liked Kill the Queen by Jennifer Estep, but didn't like the last book of that trilogy (book two was okay). I liked the fighting, I liked that while the romantic interest was obvious it wasn't instant. It felt Normal. Like she looked at him and went "yes he IS attractive but I'm not going to do anything about it right now" and the plot moved forward.

I liked the magic in Kingdom of Exiles, but haven't read the second book in that series because it's 15$ for the ebook and um. No. Romance moved faster than Kill the Queen, but still! Same thing! While she acknowledges her attraction it doesn't take the plot sideways!

I liked what I read from the Iron Druid series, but that's not quite what I want to read? I don't really want humor focused and I think I'll find Oberon more annoying right now than funny and he deserves better :(

I read six Anita Blake novels and I will not read any more. Mercy Thompson is Fine. I've read two of them? Three? I might go to the next one if I can't find anything else. They're not quite what I want, I want more magic than they offer. I've tried reading Toby Daye and we just have not vibed. The stars are not aligned. I do not like Jennifer Armentrout or Sarah J Maas. I have not read a fae book I truly enjoy, but since that seems to be the Trend still I might have to deal with that or choose something else. I'm aware of Dresden, but not in the mood for that.

The last couple days I've tried Hunt the Night, The Serpent and the Wings of Night, The Book of Azrael, What Lies Beyond the Veil, and Daughter of No Worlds. Mostly stopped reading these because the writing was not my jam. I think part of the problem is first person is not my favorite pov, especially if it's present tense and well that also goes with the genre.

I'll look into anything but who knows what my brain will latch on to ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mermaidsirennikita]

Apologies if you've already answered something like this, but what is your take on why BookTok flavor of the month fantasy romance (particularly new adult) series seem to attract tons of hype and new fans while many of those same people turn their nose up at capital R Romance novels (historical, paranormal, etc)? I don't understand the disconnect!

Well, to be fair, I do think that some BookTok books, and fantasy romance books at large, can be capital R romance. I've read a few that are both very much in a fantasy world, but are ABSOLUTELY romance first.

Why BookTok gravitates more towards murkier books like ACOTAR and Fourth Wing is another issue. To be clear, I don't like Sarah J. Maas's books. I read the entire Throne of Glass series back in the day and was fine with it, but like. Really gravitated between cringing and enjoying. After the first two ACOTAR books, I gave up. That really doesn't have anything to do with the romance level (I wasn't reading romance primarily when I read those books) and has more to do with me finding the writing... bad.

Fourth Wing I actually like. The writing isn't revolutionary, but I find it tighter and less cringe than Maas's. I think it's more self-aware and funny (the dragons fucking and making their riders horny because of psychic bonds was brilliant, sorry). I actually really like the romance in those books, and I think that's because the author is more invested in the romance than she is in the fantasy, and began as a romance writer, whereas Maas essentially went from writing YA fantasy to writing YA fantasy slightly aged up with some meh sex scenes that are juuuust "spicy" enough to entice people who don't read romance. (Fourth Wing has sex scenes... you can tell were written by someone who writes adult romance. When he started counting her orgasms, I was like okay Mr. Manhattan Billionaire With Dark Past.)

Is Fourth Wing's fantasy world great? No, I barely follow the world, I have no idea why they're down with that many cadets dying in basic training, but I don't super care. I care about kissing and love and how Lieutenant Sexy is all "I smoke fantasy world weed to stop feeling horny when my dragon is fucking but girl, you might just kill my buzz".

All of this to say... Imo, why the BookTok crowd loves fantasy romance. A lot of them are of the gen in which they read a fuckton of romance-heavy YA fantasy when they were younger. My grand conspiracy theory is that after the YA fantasy boom died out, you had a ton of authors (many of which, btw, were on the younger side--YA fantasy was a great lift for "prodigy age" authors, who were really young when they dropped their own books and... I suspect kind of got really reliant on YA fantasy--see in contrast romance writers, who often dabble in several subgenres) with manuscripts they couldn't shop anywhere. SJM didn't need to do this; she did a springboard from TOG to ACOTAR, and I'm not saying she invented shit... I'm saying ACOTAR is YA fantasy blended with New Adult college romance. And everyone else has seen that they can do that too, and they're taking their YA concepts, which tbh were always rather adult for teens (never forget the SJM protagonist who's like a 17 year old master assassin) and spinning them into watery fantasy romance. Because again, there absolutely is legit fantasy romance! But a lot of these books aren't that.

Also, imo, there is a perception among younger gens especially, the types of people who worry about what others will think of the books they read, that fantasy is somehow Elevated. More thinky. More feminist, maybe? Which is stupid, because the jig is up, everyone knows that ACOTAR readers enjoy the faerie fucking (which is fine, again I have zero issue with the overall concepts there, the execution just doesn't work fr me) and that if you like Fourth Wing you prooooobably like that Lieutenant Sexy eats pussy like it's a four course meal. But I do think that, for whatever developmental reason (probably again YA fantasy) many readers see these fantasy vibes as more Srs than historicals (often seen as bodice rippers) and paranormals (often associated with mid-2000s books with "cringe" covers, which lmao fuck off, there were some AMAZING books in that era).

I also think that there is a huge self consciousness around reading older books. A) because new is always better right and B) because there's this idea that older books are always problematic. And many are! And in some cases you can't get past that. In some cases, you can; it's case by case. I can get past the frankly noncon scenes in say, A Hunger Like No Other. Some people can't. That's fine. What's less fine, imo, is judging people for enjoying content that is like... supposed to be written as bad and extreme and the result of the hero being a literally brain cracked werewolf lol. But because that judgment is pervasive, especially on BookTok--"you reeeeead that toxic shiiiit"--I think that a lot of readers have negative perceptions of older books, other genres, etc.

And you do, imo, kind of have to read older books to get at a lot of the standouts in historical and paranormal. Good ones--great ones--are being published. But the rate of quality books for both subgenres ain't what it was say, 15 years ago. Very few authors are publishing paranormals like IAD right now. A lot of new historicals read as very watered down to me.

Honestly, though I doubt readers will cop to this, I suspect that part of the appeal of fantasy romance is also that they can dismiss the heroes doing messed up shit (which frankly, a lot of the best heroes across romance do) with like "HE WAS DOING A FAERIE SPELL" or "you wouldn't understand, fantasy politics". Historicals they don't wrap their minds around being able to excuse because the heroes are human even if historical heroes don't act like real people lol, and to me the kinds of paranormals that I think of as having fucked heroes... are so messily dark and wild that a lot of these readers aren't aware of them, lol.

So yeah, I think there is typical generational stuff going on, and also--publishing fuckery, lol. I'm skeptical of a lot of BookTok being genuinely organic. TikTok in general is half marketing content at this point, and I don't see why BookTok would be any different.

[certifiedcoffeeaddict]

So

Your text posts and another friends recommendations have led me to start reading TGCF. (I'm also watching the animated series in the meantime as bilibili has cool downs between chapters)

I'm loving the series so far but oh boy, HC and XL have never heard of subtlety.

XL with his identity, HC with his identity and his flirting.

The point I'm at, HC is pretending to be a human and XL is pretending to be a priest

They're both bad at this

Fortunately neither of them are falling for the others disguise

But still, HC, humans can't make snakes explode just by looking at them.

Saying 'what would you prefer' in response to 'what does he [HC] look like?' Also doesn't help your case either HC XD.

However I did get to watch HC fight an enemy while carrying XL bridal style so him being the least subtle person in existence does have some benefits.

glad to hear the obsession is contagious (your friend has really good taste <3)

fun fact, i originally started watching tgcf the donghua and i wasn't aware it had any romance i just thought the animation looked nice so i started watching it... it took me surprisingly long to figure out hc and xl're actually in love w each other too, because i was like oh boy the fans are gonna freak out the whole time. thinking its queerbaiting or something idek .

then i went to read the novel & the manhua came last bc the latter makes it realyl hard to focus on plot stuff what with all the characters being breathtakingly beautiful

you are so right!! their absolutely not subtle behaviour was honestly difficult to stomach the first time i watched/read about it, bc i didnt know them very well as characters and it brought me not small amounts of second-hand embarrassment. xl braiding hc's hair and failing, the palm-reading ("you won't have to worry about your love life in the future :)"), hc making snakes go kaboom etc etc. but in retrospect, it's just really funny. hc is So in love.

("what does he look like?" "what's your ideal type? <- unrelated. dw about it :)" )

hc's lack of subtlety has a lot of benefits (and is frankly quite endearing. xl agrees methinks)

[mejomonster]

While I am a shipper of pingxie because let's face it idk how one could go into The Lost Tomb drama blind and not think it was a bl then be shocked to discover it wasn't meant to be (although on thorough mental debate I've decided there's at least a 20% chance the show mistakenly thought "Oh I'll just speed up iron triangle intimacy? How? Uh. How about romance action tropes for wu xie/Zhang qiling and buddy cop action tropes for wu xie/pangzi" and it Worked well enough for speeding up the dynamics for the sake of that drama compared to book, but it also you know... meant they used usually-romantic tropes to speed up pingxie (which reads bl as all hell) and while the buddy-cop tropes aren't strictly romantically coded a lot of shippers may optimistically read it romantically. Hence you get a very shippy feeling initial drama.

Then by the time ANY other drama rolls out, the ship dynamics got cranked up More and after The Lost Tomb I no longer think it was accidental. The Lost Tomb 2 having Xiaoge catch Wu Xie in his arms bridal style in a suit IS romantic trope to the max (I could name more scenes but that alone makes my point), Ultimate Note went absolute ham on shippy vibes (heihua pingxie are in the ost lyrics which would make my point enough, also it getting a scene cut particularly for being too overtly pingxie Wu Xie likes men in comparison to Pangzi liking Yun Cai). The Lost Tomb Reboot and other shows set later don't necessarily hammer it as hard (whereas TLT2 makers absolutely were hammering pingxie for some reason?) But by then npss has name dropped ships in interviews so he'd been more aware of shippy moments purposely in shows by then (or at least more aware of that potential interpretation).

Back to the point sorry. My POINT is while the shows made me ship it about as inevitably as Xena Warrior Princess makes shipping Xena/Gabrielle almost inevitable, I'm reading these books wondering how the actual source books Actually Feel.

Based on fan reactions I'm assuming I'm in for an eventual dynamic that feels quite like kirk/spock, but who knows. Readers know! I don't! Not yet lol! So I'm very excited to find out what the dynamics of all characters are more like in the books (like is heihua a big thing? Why is it a big thing? Are they just a team in the books a lot?? Is Wen Jin in the books more, I Hope?). And more excited to find out book characterizations, because I know they declawed/defanged Wu Xie significantly in some of the shows, so i am eager to see what they're more like (a ning is the woman of my dreams so far so good to see ToT she's what I thought she'd be so far lol).

But yeah. While I might put my gush over dynamics goggles on at times when I'm commenting, I am curious how the actual book dynamics feel. Versus the shows which I think definitely 1. Softened characterizations 2. Sped up iron triangle dynamics (and possibly other dynamics).

(For confused followers this is about my dmbj novels lb on @rigelmejo ToT)

[buddyhollyscurls]

Gotten some likes on the post asking if anyone wants to read my writing so I'm taking it as a good sign. Here's the scene if u so choose to read :)

It would still take Edmund a while after that night to understand his true feelings. The princess, however, had been well aware that she was in love with him for a long time. She remembered the moment of that discovery well.

It had been a dark, rainy afternoon. Too rainy to even go outside. They were sitting quietly in the library, Edmund with his nose in a book, Audrey laying on the sofa feeling absolutely dull.

“How can you sit there,” she had groaned at him, “And not feel positively bored out of your mind?”

He turned to glance at her briefly, “I’m studying,” he chuckled, “Perhaps you should do the same. Then you wouldn’t be so bored.”

“Right. Because that’ll satisfy me. Studying.” She rolled her eyes.

“It wouldn’t harm you to read, you know.”

“I do read,” Audrey said defensively, “I adore books. But I read novels. Books with adventure, romance, and an amazing story.” 

“That’s all well and good. But you can also learn from books, you know.”

She scoffed, “I prefer finding enjoyment out of the books I pick up, thank you.”

He chuckled at her and shook his head but said nothing more. She watched him from the sofa, taking in his profile from the light of the lamp beside him. Has he always been so handsome, she thought to herself. She watched as he read; long eyelashes blinking as his eyes moved across the page, his face in serious concentration. She smiled to herself as she took in the sight of him. He looked so content and so… natural. Like she was seeing Edmund as he truly was: soft, focused and handsome. Not many people got the chance to see him this way. She wished she could capture this image of him, like a picture from a photograph. It felt like a special and secret moment, a way of seeing Edmund that she never had before and she wanted to keep it for herself.

As she looked, the intense rain continued to beat loudly against the window and she rested her eyes. She did not know when or how but she eventually fell asleep. It was only a few minutes but she began to grow cold. She shifted to her side and huddled herself. She must’ve made a bit of noise because she heard Edmund’s chair shift as he got up. She peeked behind her half-open eyes and saw him stand over her. She watched him take off his coat and smile at her as he carefully placed it over her. He went back to his chair and continued reading. 

She opened her eyes fully then, struck by the simple action he’d just done. She went on watching him and a feeling began to grow, like a fire warming her from the inside. It was a feeling of contentment. She realized then that she could spend her whole life looking at Edmund. It was a feeling that she found nowhere else. She was simply a child, with a child’s wants. She wanted to run around, play, and do whatever made her happy. She wanted always to feel free. And yet with him, she felt satisfied. She could be happy falling asleep on a sofa, trapped inside during a storm, spending the time simply looking at him if it meant Edmund was by her side. Perhaps, she thought to herself, it’s because he’s always there taking care of me. Yes, she realized, that was it. It was because wherever she was whenever they were together Edmund was sure to look out for her, giving her his coat whenever she needed it. It made her feel safe and protected. It was a feeling that one might equate to coming home. The snug and secure feeling that one gets when reaching their bed after a long day. Because that’s what he was to her. He was her best friend. He was her home. And she realized that she wanted him to feel the same way She wouldn’t have it any other way. No one else would suffice. They would be each other’s homes. Forever. Because it was at that moment that she made the discovery. She was in love with Edmund.

[mishkakagehishka]

hi okay wait i'm just gonna puke this concept up into your inbox bc it's all i thought about all day. its not really a writing request i've just got thoughts and i think you might have some too. idk. also this got long sorry. wordvomit as some would say. oops. uh. this got away from me a bit

okok idk if you've ever even heard of it but a few yrs ago i was on a big romance visual novel kick and i found one called "TODO: Today" and one of the routes you could do was basically dating an AI that was built into your computer. except said AI was sentient and had thoughts and feelings of their own!! so. apply that to the self-aware enstars au!!! (it's less the yandere au and more just a general self-aware one.)

you fall in love with your favorite character - you always have them on your home screen, you always grind for their events and pull on their banners. and one day they wake up. they become sentient. they realize that they're just as enamored with you as you are with them. it starts small - deviations in their lines, your gacha rates seem to be a little better, the game seems to be a little kinder to you. and then you log in during an event for your fave - you're way behind, you got busy, and then you realize you're almost at the 3.5mil marker. when did that happen? you ask the question aloud and the character on your screen says "Well, I couldn't let you miss out!" and then you realize. they're alive, too. so what do you do with that? you have basically a living, breathing consciousness stored in your phone; they're just as enamored with you as you are with them. they've broken free. is it fair to simply shun them? delete the game and potentially remove any bit of their consciousness? should you try and talk to them? try to work with them? maybe you'll end up a little closer than you thought...

!!!! Honestly, if it's just a self-aware au, that'd be so... interesting, right? A little heartbreaking, but :OO cut for length!

If we're talking about genuine love and affection. Yeah, they'd try to help you out here and there, they'd ask you to stay and chat with them a bit on the homescreen... but it has to be gradual. They've just gotten awareness, too, but they have the sense to know that this is weird, and they don't want to scare you, so they test the waters a bit. They say different lines when you finish a live, they wish you luck during the loading between the homescreen and the live or work screen, they say "Hope you get it!" when you hit the scout button... it's odd, but you can chalk it up to an update. They'll probably keep it up to small things like that, their idle lines will move on from "sad" more to things similar to, "I enjoy when you keep me company here" (or a roundabout way of saying the same for some characters, Shu'd hit you with a "It's not that bad when you stay a bit longer here").

And then comes an event that you wanted to grind for so bad! It's your fave, maybe even! Regardless of whether it's the character on your homescreen or not, they're noticing how sad you are about not having time to play, and you even have the dia to grind! So, one morning you login, and your BP is at 3/10, your work tickets empty, and you have less dia, but your points are significantly higher than when you went to sleep. Furthermore, your homescreen idol is... silent. They're sleeping leaning against the edge of the screen. You tap them, which scares them awake, and... they are no longer very subtle.

First they apologise for keeping it a secret, then they ask for you to hear them out and not freak out. But here they are explaining about how they spent the entire night awake grinding because they knew you needed to sleep and are going to have a busy week. You have to ask them to explain the self-aware business. They don't know either, they just ask you not to delete the game, that if you're bothered, they'll continue giving you scripted lines and stop playing in your place, but just let them stay alive. They've gotten attached to having a consciousness.

The choice is up to you, but if you decide to keep them, maybe even befriend them, they'd be very grateful. They enjoy your company, and they hope you enjoy theirs as well (even if some won't say it out loud). And maybe they fall in love after a while, but... they'll keep it to themselves for now. Maybe they'll try to subtly (or less subtly, cough Hiiro cough) find out if you have a partner, if you're interested in anyone. The amount of optimism in "dating" varies from character to character, but they're all more than happy with being your friend and watching with how much joy you play the game.

[zhongwans]

I really don't know how to explain my question, but in your opinion, what is the most iconic and/or craziest thing that the WOH cast did that might not seem like something big, but if you really look at it, it's like, huh? I'm sorry I can't word it better😭

HAHAHA OKAY there's honestly so much to choose from but the best one for me will always be Huang Youming's song choice during day 2 of the concert. It's really great because it has layers, okay. So much layers. Unless you have been in this hellhole from the beginning, or at least up to date with everything that went on since May 2020, the real significance of that song will probably fly over your head 😂

CP/RPS marketing is a thing in c-ent, and that's how actors who star in danmei become famous, though it depends on the production and also the actors if they want to take that route. The casting of WOH was not well-received because people didn't think GJ and ZZH would work as an onscreen couple, and both (especially ZZH) were known for not doing fanservice with their previous onscreen pairs. This naturally meant that fans who are into RPS turned away from the show and focused their attention on other danmei productions. So in the beginning it was just novel fans like me and GJ/ZZH's solo fans. There were no shippers. It was fairly chill.

But all that changed during July 20, 2020 aka what we now call the "Rainy Night". It's when ZZH posted a picture of himself inside an RV with the caption: 一场雨把我困在这里 "A bout of rain trapped me here,"

The caption is lyrics from 六月的雨 by Hu Ge, a love song. Prior to that, GJ also posted a video of him filming the storm outside and you can hear ZZH calling out to him from far away. The "rainy night" posts, especially ZZH's, spawned a lot of speculation. People dug up GJ's cooking vlog that was filmed in his RV and saw that the upholstery matched the one in ZZH's photo and that the ones in ZZH's trailer were different. You could say that at that point, nobody cared what people had to say about the casting because fans were too busy zooming in on whatever RV pictures they could find.

Basically the accepted "theory" at that time was that ZZH took shelter from the rain inside GJ's trailer, and GJ also went in after filming that video he posted. This was basically the birth of the LLD fandom 😂

But it was mostly just the fandom having fun. All that theorizing and speculating never goes anywhere and in the end, it's just something that you never really know the truth about. So it was chill. Very chill. But then WOH aired and GJ himself talked about the rainy night during an interview and confirmed that ZZH really did go inside his trailer during a storm.

So naturally, everyone lost their damn minds. The newer fans were screaming at us, asking what the hell was going on. It's just hilarious because nobody expected confirmation in the first place, and if it did come, people thought it would be from a leak or an insider or whatever. But nobody expected Gong Jun himself to bring it up unprompted during an interview!

And on the second day of the concert, Huang Youming chose to sing "A Secret That Cannot be Told" for his talent. On the surface, it just seemed like a cheeky reference to the censored romance in WOH, but it was actually something for the fandom. You can see ZZH and GJ trying to stop HYM from singing. Then ZZH insisted twice that he should "Start singing from the chorus, and not the first verse," like he knew exactly what HYM was planning to sing. Sure enough, HYM ignored him and didn't start at the chorus. The lyrics he started with were: "What's most beautiful is not the rainy sky, but the eaves that sheltered you and I from the rain"

Ever since HYM brought up the colander joke in his douyins, we already knew that the cast was more or less aware of our fandom shenanigans, but this just confirmed that they knew about the rainy night "theory" as well, and that worst of all, GJ and ZZH also knew about the rainy night theory and were being teased by the cast members about it.

All I can say is...sorry GJ and ZZH 😂 They ended up suffering from the cast's merciless teasing because of the fandom having fun.

[saberstars]

I'm Here

Pairing: Gender Neutral Y/N & Loki

Fluff, angst, implied smut

Warnings: Mentions of depression/mental illness, epilepsy/seizures, mentions of sex, as always if I missed anything feel free to let me know

Summary: Loki & You have a pre-existing friendship with benefits & one night you have a seizure after some spiciness. He cares for you helping you afterwards & makes sure you rest easy & safe. Reader is portrayed to have seizures more so during changes in sleep phases, not awake. The wake seizures or more of a medium ish absence/ focal aware seizure that only occur on occasion & can be “fought” through.

Word Count: 1796

Notes: This was intended to be a gender neutral reader. I think I removed all he/she pronouns.

Additionally, I know that not everyone experiences seizures the same way, and that epilepsy can affect people differently. This is all written from my experiences with it, so I ask that you do not tell me I portrayed something wrong. I can and will accept constructive criticism, But I will not accept someone telling me blatantly that I am wrong with my experiences. Therefore please keep that in mind when reading. I genuinely hope this fic brings others comfort if you suffer from epilepsy or any disorder that causes seizures. Thank You <3

It’s been three years since you found out you suffered from epilepsy. A diagnosis that came late in your life to be fair. As a young child up until you reached adulthood, you suffered from eye shakes that would eventually turn into stuttering spells that made it difficult to breath or not breath properly at all. You never passed out though, you got close a few times, but you managed to stay awake and “fight it off.” You started to notice over time that you’d also get a strange taste in your mouth, almost like metal or as if you were sucking on a battery and it had that zing flavor. You knew that was a precursor and would panic on cue rightfully so. You hated when you had your mini stutter fests because all you could do was hope it didn’t happen.

Of course you complained to your parents as a child but they didn’t think it was anything. They said it was just a panic attack. So you took their word for it. That was until you started having grand mals in your sleep. At first you thought they were just a part of some strange dream, that wasn't real to you, not yet anyway. You would wake up exhausted, sore, sometimes unable to move properly, walk, open and close a fist, and you just overall couldn't stay conscious sometimes. Again you complained to your parents about it, but they said it was nothing. You probably had night terrors or some form of minor sleep paralysis. So you dumbly believed them.

When you moved out, You sought answers, and eventually got them. You were grateful. The medication they prescribed helped tremendously though, it did make you tired but it was worth not having your episodes. Thankfully your case wasn’t as severe as others and it was manageable so long as you took care of yourself and took your medications. Though you were warned, breakthroughs were common, and missing your dose can and would cause a seizure.

Despite having such a diagnosis, you kept it to yourself. You never really told anyone. It wasn’t until you started sleeping with a friend, that you finally divulged your secret too in the event that it ever happened whilst they were with you.

It was someone you randomly slept with on and off with. A friend with benefits, his name was Loki. You had met the god shortly after his father had passed and his home, destroyed. You found comfort with each other despite it being more of a sexual comfort. You both used sex as a way to fight your own demons, a distraction, a quick grab at serotonin. Despite the sex you both developed a very deep friendship. You’d read together on occasion, have very interesting debates on current events, history, as well as other nuances, and a lot of other things. You even met his brother and the avengers at one point.

You both slept soundly after spicy events had taken place 2 hours prior, Loki had come over desperate for attention of any kind. He didn’t say why, but you knew it was a rather serious topic he wished not to discuss and rather lessen the pain with ecstasy. Little did you know, on this day a few years ago he indirectly murdered his mother. He blamed himself dearly, he knew if he would have kept his mouth shut for once in his life she may be here today. So he needed a genuine distraction. One of any kind. Preferable you. Due to the spicy events that took place you missed your dose, due to falling asleep promptly after, which cost you dearly. Missing doses always caused this to happen no matter what.

You gasped for air like usual, your body contorting outwards first with a thrust. You were awake, conscious, and terrified for the few seconds you normally were given before blacking out. You began to stutter violently all the air leaving your lungs as it happened. Until no sounds were made and it was just you chattering. Loki woke immediately, with a completely calm exterior despite a raging mixture of emotions internally. He knew you never called an ambulance for these things because you were normally alone & unaware until you became conscious again. She made him promise to never call 911 unless it was over a certain time length, to save her medical expenses, or unless she stopped breathing for good.

Loki dare not touch you though as you shook and curled up. The last thing he wanted was his godly strength to crush you somehow or cause you more pain. Instead he watched and hovered until you finally stopped. It was a short 50 second one, which was under your time limit, but he still debated calling. It’s not like You would’ve known he lied.

His breathing hitched as he went to check your pulse and airway, ever so delicately, which were both clear and strong.

“Oh thank you.” he whispered

A few hours had slid by with still no response from you. Loki sat next to you, staring down at you, to the point where he would fight the urge to blink, waiting for a stir of some kind from you. He did give the courtesy of redressing you though, in a nightgown from a drawer after an hour slid past. He even went as far as ensuring that you were adequately covered by the blankets to avoid being chilled. It has been 3 ½ hours now, with no stir of any kind from you. He knew it would be awhile before you showed any signs of movement possibly but this worry tore him to his core. In the midst of waiting he refused to just idly go back to sleep next to you, he was determined to stay awake until you were conscious again, so that you knew, he stayed there waiting for you. Loki didn’t know when he found himself talking to you as if you were awake, but all he knew was that it made him feel a bit better, and he hoped that when you woke it would make you feel better too.

“You know, I’ve been reading this really dumb gothic romance novel. I think you’d like it because of how naive the girl is. I know you like to criticize and pick on how they make decisions.” he spoke with a chuckle in his voice thinking back to how you’d flail your arms and drop your book to scream about how dumb some main protagnist could be.

“I'll have to buy you a copy or give you mine when I’m done.” Loki shifted his weight from his right to his left brushing your bangs out of your eyes.

“I don’t know why you keep those so long, all they do is get in the way of your gorgeous eyes.”

It was in that moment you rustled, you shifted your neck ever so slightly, Your eyelids twitch. Loki leaned forward parting his lips as he watched with a heart of hope completely overwhelmed with joy when he saw the color of your iris’s. He exhaled a shaky breath cupping your cheeks which caused you to flinch sending a wave of shocks through your body. It was at that moment you knew. You knew what he saw, what he had gone through. Your heart sank and you immediately berated yourself internally despite your exhausted state.

“It’s ok you don’t have to say or do anything. I’ll stay, I’ll take care of you for as long as you need.” Loki assured you, wanting you to know that you didn’t have to go through this alone. You never really had anyone stay, let alone worry about you. Your eyes began to water as tears rolled down your face.

“I’ll go grab you some water, you’re probably parched. I’ll also grab you a banana. I read that potassium can help with the cramping.” Loki said leaving to yourself for a moment. He also grabbed tissues for your eyes and nose just in case. Upon returning her placed everything at your side offering help to sit up. “Do you need to use the bathroom or help sitting up?” He asked with a gentle tone.

You nodded trying to take a good deep breath so you could speak a bit. “I’m so sorry you had to see that… but thank you. Thank you for staying, for helping. I do need the bathroom and I would appreciate help. My legs are still...” you mustered out with all your might but after a point your tongue refused to work with you.

“Of course, I may be a monster but I’m not entirely cruel. If it helps… you can just think to yourself and I can listen that way. So that you're not struggling too much.” Loki admitted with a tone of self depreciation.

“You're not a monster just because you're different & have made mistakes.” you thought as Loki picked you up bridal style walking you to the bathroom. Of course he placed you down on the toilet and waited outside for you to do what you needed. Since he had only added a nightgown to your previously naked body it made things easier. It was exhausting to just sit up and do everything but you pushed through. You even pushed yourself up and limped to the sink best you could to wash your hands. Upon hearing the faucet though Loki came back in standing behind you offering support if needed.

“Catch me~” you thought before falling back into his arms with a snort.

“You're lucky I have godlike reflexes you minx.” He replied with a hint of flirtation. You had used more than you had in you to wash your hand. Loki caught you obviously and carried you back to the room placing you back on the bed. “No, more like I knew you were ready to catch me.” you slowly thought as exhaustion tugged at your consciousness again. Loki noticed the pill bottle on your dresser before prompting you to take it. Instinctively opening it and sliding one into his hand.

“You should probably take this before you fall asleep.” You took it mentally saying thanks drinking the glass of water with it.

“Yeah that would probably help avoid some added breakdancing.” You joked trying to use humor to lighten the situation. Loki stared plain faced trying not to entertain your joke though, despite finding it secretly witty. Maybe he’d laugh at it when you felt a bit better. Soon after you began to dance between awake and sleep. Loki took note based on how your thoughts jumbled around between multiple things, laughing to himself a bit before minor intrusive fears began picking at you. Loki immediately jumped into action in an attempt to squash them soothing you a bit.

“You can sleep soundly, please get some rest. You don’t have to force yourself to stay awake out of fear or guilt.” Loki spoke in the most caring and sweet tone he could muster up. Trying to convince you that it was going to be ok & it worked. Somehow you knew he was right & that you could trust him completely. You drifted back to sleep peacefully thinking about how for the first time in your life, you didn’t fear sleeping in your bed. You didn’t have intrusive thoughts about whether or not you’d wake up in the morning or not. Which honestly brought tears bubbling their way up and out of Loki's eyes. The amount of trust you had in him in your thoughts, at that moment completely took his breath away. And that was something he wasn’t going to break or ever lose.

[wasabito]

thank you to @sparkexplosive and @vs-redemption for beta reading it for me! merry christmas & happy holidays everyone ♥️

➽ synopsis: being a member of the royal guard is a grueling and thankless job, so you decide to remind katsuki a little of what it’s like to be young again—what better way to do that than with some healthy competition.

➽ word count: 1.7k

➽ tags: fluff, budding romance, royalty au, childhood friends

➽ author’s note: i had a ton of fun participating in my first ever secret santa!! this is my gift-fic to the lovely @katsushimaa​ hope you enjoy, yssa!

"So, this is where the hell you've been hiding?"

His voice tore through the midday stillness like a blade, equal parts raspy and gruff. He sounded irritated and mildly fatigued. Not that Katsuki Bakugou would ever admit to being anything less than a hundred and ten percent. He climbed off his steed, heavy boots crunching under the weight of his feet, and secured his horse against the stump you were leaning on.

You flipped the page of your book, not sparing the man even a cursory glance. You would prefer to keep your attention occupied by fictitious worlds, warriors, and battles fought in the name of love and justice.

It was much easier to allow yourself to become the bearer of fictional hardships, because at least they could be solved through a well-constructed plot with each turn of a page, as opposed to the realities of your actual life, a slow spiraling disaster in comparison.

Bakugou stood in front of you, vein ticking on his throat with every clench of his jaw. His arms were crossed tight over his chest, red gaze pinned on your hunched form. He wasn't at all the kind of person anyone could easily ignore. His very presence demanded attention and drew eyes like a magnet.

Case in point, no matter how much you tried to ignore him, you simply couldn’t.

"Please tell me you aren't going to stand there the entire time. Take a hint will you." You went to turn another page, but Bakugou reached over and snatched the book from your hands with deft fingers and speed you couldn't hope to match.

"Give. It. Back."

"Nah, I don't think I will just yet." He sneered, thumbing through the pages. "I was told to bring your dumbass back to the estate, so that's exactly what the hell I'm 'bout to do."

You blew a puff of air from your lips, eyes blazing with a kind of defiance that only burned harder the more you glared at him. "Then I guess you'll just have to drag me back kicking and screaming."

Bakugou only smirked, teeth spread in a feral grin that sent a chill down your spine.

That had always been his intention.

Almost an hour later, you stood before your parents, clothes dusty, creased, and smudged from having been manhandled like a sack of flour before promptly dumped in front of your waiting audience.

A frown marred your delicate features as they began their lecture.

Your mind drifted elsewhere the more they reminded you of your lineage and that you were royalty and how it was imperative you behave as such. You’d heard it all before, known this for as long as you could remember. As the King and Queen of your home country, your parents never failed to emphasize the importance of keeping your every move in check because of the reputation you had to uphold.

Katsuki stood somewhere behind you, and although he stayed mostly silent, you could almost hear him grinding away at his molars. The King and Queen were taking turns subtly digging into him as well, implying that his incompetence was a stain upon the royal guard perfect record of achievements. If he couldn't keep you in line, what was the point of holding rank?

They annoyed him way more than they did you, but he dare not voice it, not if he wanted to keep his head attached to his shoulders. Far be it from him to send himself to the guillotine

You both were in for a long night.

“Honestly, this kind of behavior is unbecoming of someone of your status. What will our countrymen think if they see you roaming about unattended like a vagabond?” Your father stroked his beard as if waiting for a response. But everyone in the room knew he really just liked to hear himself talk.

He was no better than a machiavellian swindler in expensive robes. A puppet if you would.

The real leader of the land was your mother. After all, she had only married into the family, having been the daughter of a mere advisor with no royal blood. She spoke little, but her glare was more than enough to convey just what she was thinking.

By the end of the lecture, you felt like all of your energy had been sapped from you, but thankfully your parents left you to retreat into your bedroom for the remainder of the day. Bakugou escorted you, following close behind.

“You’re gonna do it again, aren’t ya?”

You paused, foot nearly catching against the carpeted floors of your bedroom. Fiddling with a piece of your hair, you shrugged. “...maybe.”

“You’re a huge idiot.” Bakugou shook his head with a low laugh.

A tiny smidgen of a grin danced on your lips as you considered him. He was your childhood friend. No one knew you better than he did. And he was also the guard most assigned to watch over you and keep you safe from harm.

Despite that, you’d come to notice how much he’d changed. He wasn’t the same Katsuki you grew up knowing and you missed him dearly. Occasions like this, where a part of his guard was let down, were becoming few and far between. There had to be something you could do.

“Let’s make a wager. If you can manage to find me, I’ll do one thing at your command.”

“Challenge accepted.” He reached into the folds of his uniform, pulled out your little novel, and slapped it right into your open palm. "No matter where you run off to, I'll find ya. Trust me on that, princess."

His eyes were like candles in the night, ignited by a spark of passion. Not a single lie could be detected.

"I won't make it easy on you, Katsuki, just so you know."

"Heh, you better not." He sniffed, tucking his hands into his uniform pockets. And with a final half-wave, he was gone.

In and around the capital city, winter had completely lost it's bite. The weather was tepid, swinging a mild breeze that coasted through the countryside. It was the sort of winter where one felt as if woolen clothing were worn more for comfort than necessity. In what should have been the chilliest part of the year, Bakugou found himself traversing one of the many beaches that hedged the southern peninsula.

After a full week following the challenge issued in your bedroom, Bakugou realized you were entirely too good at evading him or any of the other guards at the kingdom’s disposal, for that matter.

Day in and day out, he spent his shifts searching tirelessly for you, just to stumble upon you in the most random of places and only when you had wanted him to find you. The running score was six to five in your favor, but he was determined not to lose to you again.

And there you were, standing at the very edge of the shore, as if a mere thought had manifested you right before his very eyes. Your loose billowing dress of soft satin waved to him like a white flag of surrender in the air. He'd finally found you.

"Not gonna run off this time?"

"Nope! You won this round." Your cheeks creased in a smile.

Given the boots he'd worn, it was no surprise that his feet kept sinking into the sand. You said nothing as he toed off his shoes and socks, bare feet settling into the depths of warm, grainy sand.

He couldn’t help but feel more relaxed. Over the past few months, he’d found himself losing sight of his goals, caught in the dredges of the mundane and routine.

The cool waters lapped at both his and your feet, fizzing and bubbling, leaving behind traces of salt. You went further into the water’s touch, your back to him as the tides licked at the your calves. Even he had to admit, the view was a beautiful one, possibly even more so with you against the backdrop.

“I’m glad you found me,” you called over the cry of seagulls. “For a second, I was worried you’d lose this round.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Tch, as if I’d ever lose to you, princess.”

“Naturally.” You laughed.

“What the hell are we doing out here anyway?”

He knelt to roll up his pants, a mere moment away from following after you like always.

“I... really just wanted to show you the view. Do you remember when we used to come down here as kids? Remember how we used to dare each other to see who could go the farthest into the ocean?”

Of course he remembered. Those were some of his most cherished memories of his time spent with you before duty to the kingdom took precedent.

You reached a hand out to him, an open invitation. “I just thought you needed a little reminder of what that was like.”

For some reason, Katsuki was determined not to meet your gaze, scowling at some point on the horizon, until you came over and nudged him with your elbow. “It wouldn’t kill you to admit that I’m right.”

With a sigh, he reached over and tugged you into a hug. You snuggled close to his chest, gripping the back on his uniform. It may have been your imagination but you could’ve sworn you felt the soft press of lips against your temple.

“Thanks... you know... for everything.”

Beaming, you leaned back to get the full view of his heated cheeks.

“Of course, of course.”

There was something earnest in his eyes that told you no matter how far you went, or however far you traveled, he’d always be a step behind you. It sent your heart hammering in your ribcage. You were suddenly all too aware of the way he held you secure against him like he would never let go.

“What are you thinking, princess?”

You blinked owlishly, taken over by your feelings and mumbling a hushed. “Oh, nothing.” The two of you were just a royal and a guard, bound to one another by duty.

If there could be anything more than that...well, only time would tell.

[shortpplfedup]

So I'm curious about my BL moots...how did you get into BL?

20 years ago when I was a college freshman back in the Stone Age, a new friend (now an old friend) who was into a lot of Japanese media (jpop, manga and anime especially) introduced me to it all. I'm not really into any of that but I was curious about yaoi because I was and still am a romance addict. Never really got into yaoi in the end but I was aware it existed. I was also big into Harry Potter and LOTR fandom on messageboards and LiveJournal, so I was aware of slash culture and slash fanfic/fanart.

Fast forward to 2019, I fell into Kdrama in a serious way because it became accessible to me via Netflix and then Viki, and it gave me the kind of well produced romantic stories I craved and wasn't really getting from western media anymore because it has gotten so cynical. I love love stories and it doesn't really matter to me whether they're gay or straight or whatever so when ITSAY started popping up on my radar via YouTube FMVs and the like late last year I went looking for it (it was IMPOSSIBLE to find if you didn't know where to look) and in hitting the BL tag on Viki in my search stumbled onto Life Senjou No Bokura instead. After that I did find and watch ITSAY, and then HIStory 3: MODC, and then Gaya Sa Pelikula, and then it was over for me. I'm officially hooked. I'm a series/movie/novel girl exclusively though. The Behind the Scenes (Bad Buddy source material) novel is my current obsession, along with the show.

Tell me your BL origin stories in reblogs or comments or asks if you prefer the anonymity! I'm fascinated!

[yuusaris]

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better

@tenderwulf sniped me with a tagging like a deer in an overpopulated area, let's gooooo

Aaand since this is going into a readmore cvuz this... got... long... I'm gunna tag here!

@ferelden-loser, @eponymous-rose, @odin-n-out, @purge-that-urge-rhackathon, @millenniumringg @tortoistor @ygio @bakawitch aaaaand @super-lovely-collection of course, I encourage to do as well.... pardon the length, but even in text form, my favorite person to listen to is always me~

Favorite Color: Not sure about one solid color in particular, but I am a fucking SUCKER for gem tones.

Currently Reading: If audiobooks count, then Gideon the Ninth. The audiobook is really good, I'm having a good-ass time with this necromantic romp. (Or, if you will... necrompancy)

If not - thennn I JUST wrapped up The Witch's Book of Self-Care. I've been thinking of dipping my toes into the witchy-ness pool and this was.... well, I won't say it's a good start, but it did give me personally a good idea of what I want for myself spiritually in general. That has value to me. There's little tidbits about Center and Ground that are just - good for me in general, as my own disassociation from my body is really bad and I'm ready to start... like... being a person.

It's a decent book for me to figure out what I need?... but it's more a leveling ground book than something for any witch. Kinda like when you buy a plot of land to build on, you gotta check the ground before you buy it? I enjoyed it, but I'm not about to confidently call myself a witch from one book that teaches me how to ground myself and get an awareness for the body two chapters after teaching me how to make my own body butter.

Last Song: Last night, I carefully curated my music tastes on my drive home. This was to make sure I had a solid song to throw on this list so y'all can see how my music taste slaps. This is not a jokey ha-ha, I really did this.

Because I really want people who haven't listened to Kuchizuke by BUCK-TICK to listen to Kuchizuke by BUCK-TICK. I'm linking the lyric version so y'all can get the bop as well as the english translation. The sing slaps. The song FUCKS. Yes, it's about vampires, but it's in my Body/Life playlist because it suits it best. Shiki's a big mood for what I'm writing. And also it just

?>....But just now when I went to YouTube to find it, I learned the OBC performed Way Down Hadestown on Good Morning America was on my feed. So I clicked it. And I listened to it IMMEDIATELY, which counts because it's a song, so. There goes that.. How does he behave when his emotions contradict each other>

Last Series: Taylor and I watched the first few episodes of the English dub Code:Realize anime just last night and as someone who's slogging through the visual novel, it's such a breath of fucking fresh air to see shit MOVING.

I don't care if I'm spoiled. This is just a nice funtime translation of a slow-paced VN with a lot of plot and a lot of talking and not a lot of romance for five fucking chapters. It's only a lot because the game is a lot and it only has 12 episodes to do it in but- bro.

Bro, they made Lupin really charming. He isn't offensive in-game, but his charm and likeability are super-buried in the beginning and you need to dig, so the anime gets the top-dirt off for you early-on, which is great for me. He looks so much better animated than he does in stills and his English voice is like f u ck i ng b u t t e r r r r . This is a nice guy to look at and pretty to listen to and his characterization is much more clear from the get-go, whereas in the game, it can take a while. His actual characterization as a romanceable Arsene Lupin - the way he talks, his capability, his sensibleness, his actual skills in theivery - are all things the game nails right away, but it's just elevated by being able to see these things in real-time and not just text-descriptions and stillshots.

....Bro, Impey's tolerable. His English VA did a fucking miracle and made him not a fucking cANCER. It's insane how much more palatable he is and how much better his characterization translates. Impey is intolerable for me in the game so far and I haven't even gotten onto the fucking train yet. His introduction sucked. His dialogue sucked. His inability to leave me alone sucked. How tone-deaf. How people-ignorant. How utterly annoying and overactive to the point of middle-school syndrome. And the anime just.... pulls his character into the light. When he moves, when he emotes, you can finally see he's... he's just goofy. He's not just some hyper, brainless annoying fuck, he's active and confident and a goofball. I could romance this version of Impey, it's just a much cleaner cultural translation of this ambitious, silly character with big dreams and - what's better conveyed as - a big heart.

My boy Fran is wonderful. My man Van is wonderful. Saint-G is wonderful. My girl Cardia is amazingly weird. They really nailed how frickin weird this chick is. The way she talks and speaks are so weird and it works for his weird she is. Cardia is a really fun MC for an otome VN because she has a really distinct character and to see that really shine through as a story conveyed, instead of a story I'm part of, is so much fun. Her design gives her this ethereal, out-of-touch, oddness, like a monster could be. Her voice acting is spot-on, just what a good translation of a good character.

I'm not trying to review the anime, I swear, I'm just so fucking happy about the changes to the two weakest characters in the game as well as the banger showcasing of my favorite otome MC, Cardia's amazing. It's definitely an anime for people playing/already played the game, i feel like if you didn't it would just be a lot, so I'm really excited and feeling pandered to and I LOVE IT.

Last Movie: ....Oh God, was it Primer?

... I couldn't have been Primer, but... no.

...No! It was - okay, Taylor's family and I re-watched What We Did In The Shadows! Okay! Yeah! Yeah, I knew we watched something after Primer it was - it was WWDITS, the original movie.

Sweet, Savory, or Spicy: All at once, next.

(tho, I do have a particularly bad sweet tooth...)

Craving: Breakfast. A nice full breakfast. Hard to get full breakfast sometimes, cuz it's a lot of physical work at home, but going out relies on people having turkey or chicken bacon, which is surprisingly less likely than one would think. I've got three restaurants I like for breakfast and only one of them keeps it on hand.

OH! And a nice tea. A nice oolong. I had a Dark Pearl oolong yesterday and god it was so rich and dark... I might want a Tung Ting today, something lighter... or maybe a milk oolong. I usually like the Jin Xuan milk oolong, but that's actually not available anymore, I heard climate change fucked up it's production.

Actually, no, a dark one would be best right now, especially if I'm gunna be shopping and writing today. And maybe cleaning.... maybe I will get that Dark Pearl again....

Currently working on: .....

......

...........

Gimmie a second. Gotta rummage through my room.

So, these?

These are the character sheets I'm doing for Bakura and Ryou.

I want to write more within my Body for Body, Life For Life AU and I have a lot of ideas for it. I've got a lot written out for it too - but no consistant characterization.

So, to help me with this, Taylor gave me the list of questions he uses for his characters for his own characters, so. In order for me to really feel comfortable with the two of them, filling this out has been a HUGE help.

You can see I've got Canon interpretations in there as well. This is because if I'm going to be writing AU's, then it's important, in my opinion, to know what you're working with from the canon. This way I understand what will be changed and why it's changed. Plus, to write canon stuff, this is good to have on hand.

I clearly worked on Bakura's first, his canon characterization is actually more consistent than Ryou, which means I can identify the different reasons and results that would establish his characterization in similar ways. He doesn't have the Ring backstory in a demon Au, obviously, so what factors establish his behavior, way of speaking, reactions, beliefs, and so any of those reasonably change while keeping to the same character?

Ryou is particularly... both freeing and difficult to work with due to how KT doesn't know what to do with him in canon. His relationship with Bakura is never explored in the manga or anime. His actions and emotions need fan interpretation to make sense to a person and that can vary a lot. You could probably disagree already with stuff I wrote, or will write in the future. And in fact, for other stuff I'm writing for him, I'm already writing him in different ways depending on what I'm doing. Ryou can be really fun and freeing to write because you can feasibly write him in a lot of different ways, but this can also make it really difficult to keep consistent, or worse, could damage the writing's tone.

In regards to Body/Life, I need to find a nice balance between Ryou wanting to marry Bakura, being in love with Bakura, and being suspicious of him. Ryou is, by contradiction, rather naïve and rather keen. He's been through a lot of shit that could traumatize a person and may have traumatized him, but he's not unsubscribing himself from it. I need to work through his characterization to understand why he wants to marry Bakura, why he loves this demon, why all of this is acceptable, and why the issue with the marriage is one he can accept or breeze off.

I need a balance for Bakura to both care for this person, need to use him like an object, and blur the line in-between so it reads like it could go either way. I need to be very careful with how I write his language, because I established that language is important to demons, and keep it consistent with Bakura being an in-canon rude prick. I need to understand what he wants, why he wants it, and where Ryou falls on that scale.

And I need to convince my readers that these two belong together.

And once I finish these sheets - I can throw out everything I've fucking written and start all. Over. AgaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN