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#also Lauren I’m waiting for the rest of your fic lol
starwarsite · 2 years
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AU : Cassian and Jyn survived Scarif ; they’re going for a drink right after being rescued. It’s a sad bar back at the rebel base. They’re both grieving but they realize how close their last adventure has brought them together.
Thank you @mostthingskenobi for sparkling this somehow and providing excellent « research » pics for references of Diego Luna smoking a cigarette !
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titan-fodder · 3 years
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Hello! I just started reading Prima Vista yesterday and am HOOKED. I got Tumblr just to send you a message.
How did you practice and perfect the "show, not tell" style of writing?
Bonus question: what kind of research did you do for this? (Aside from Frat knowledge from your friend).
Why LaCrosse as the sport? What about rugby? You provide great detail!
The subtitles are there, and I can imagine & feel what they're all going through and that's hard to achieve across the board!
So well written (I'm on chapter V), the characters are fleshed out, the tension between Y/N (I've been calling her Lara) & Miche is so real. I really like how you worked in Miche's feelings...
and Zeke already feels so slimy. I feel the stress of Lara/ Y/N trying to impress him!
Can't wait to read more!
Best, JJ
This is so FUCKING cute oh my god. Firstly, welcome to tumblr, JJ! It’s a hellsite, but no one can seem to leave it. Secondly, thank you so much for reading my fic and reaching out! It means a lot ❤️
I’m gonna put the rest of this under a cut, so I can answer the question without clogging the dash
So I definitely would not say I’ve perfected the show don’t tell thing just cause like… I refuse to call myself perfect at anything lol. But as far as practicing goes, I am really lucky in the way that I can imagine things very clearly in my head while writing them.
If you’re talking about a setting, I usually have a real place in mind that I just… redecorate to fit my needs, if that makes sense? And because I can see it like that, I can describe it without a huge issue (sometimes to the point of over-explanation)
And it’s the same with body language typically. Like I just see characters doing certain things while talking or whatever and try to sprinkle it in. It’s really just a matter of getting what I’m seeing in my head down on paper, and it’s funny to think that readers are imagining it differently still. I love it.
@lady-lauren helped me A LOT with frat life. I think I still have a discord message from her pinned, like, explaining the schedule of frats and rush week and pledging and yada yada. She really was my main resource. Other than that, I looked up like different fraternities and what they were known for, and then just stupid stuff like frat party themes.
Literally the only reason I picked Lacrosse is because it’s different from the usual. Like I didn’t wanna do football cause that’s just meh cliche and then I remembered my cousin playing lacrosse in college and how rough it could get, and it just seemed right for Miche and Erwin so I went with it.
Lara is so cute! I definitely wrote her as nameless, but if I’m being 100% honest she shares a lot of similarities with an old OC of mine, so I mostly envisioned her. 🥰 I’m so glad you feel that the characters are fleshed out cause they’re so real to me. I can’t do blank slate readers. It’s just boring to me, you know? Like boring to write. I can’t have fun like that.
Zeke is SO SLIMY IN IT but he’s also just slimy in everything I write oopsie
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest! Thank you so much for stopping by, and if you ever need fic recs or friend recs or anything, I have a lot (as long as you’re an adult anyway)
Have a wonderful day/night 💕
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authenticcadence18 · 4 years
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30 Questions About Me
THANKS FOR THE TAG @bugaboo-n-bananoir ILY!!!!
(Nick)name: Cadence
gender: cis female
Star sign: Pisces
Height: uhhhhh I am not sure, it’s taller than 5ft at least
Time: night! (Well I wrote most of this last night, but now it’s the evening of the next day!)
Birthday: well I’m a Pisces, so my birthday is between Feb 19th and march 20th!
Fave band/group: Pentatonix! Or For King and Country. Or the piano guys, the vitamin string quartet, Voctave.....also Phineas and the Ferbtones👌
Fave solo artists: I really like Lauren Daigle, and Jackie Evancho used to be my FAVE. Aaand idk if this counts but Michael Giacchino! love his scores, especially the score for Inside Out. There’s also this guy called Clay Kramer on YouTube who makes KK Slider covers of popular music, his stuff gives me so much seratonin😅
Song Stuck in my Head: Well I’m listening to music rn and “I’m Me” from Phineas and Ferb is on so I’ll say that! (I’ll revisit this one when I finish the list and update it with whatever song i’m listening to/is stuck in my head then) (ok the music has since been turned off and now I have “Status Quo” from High School Musical stuck in my head so! There ya go!) (now it is the next day, and I’ve got “when the party’s over” stuck in my head...i think these three songs are an accurate reflection of my taste in music🤣)
Last Movie: uhhhhh oh yeah, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice! It was SO GREAT because Jay Baruchel plays the main character (and the main character is super awkward), so I felt like I was watching Hiccup from the How To Train Your Dragon franchise learn magic and it was GLORIOUS. And also Nicholas Cage is great. And I liked the love interest in the movie as well!! She had a role to play in the story and felt authentic and genuine, which I appreciated!
Last Show: ok well the last show I watched by myself was Phineas and Ferb! Specifically, the episode with the Mardi Gras block party and then the one where Candace and Stacy compete in an obstacle course against Isabella and Ginger (omg wAIT ginger and Stacy are sisters and Isabella and Candace are GOING to be sisters mY HEART I—AH🥺). I hadn’t watched those episodes in forever, so they were really fun to revisit! I think the last actual show I watched was Kids Baking Championship or something, lol. (Those kids are AMAZING. So skilled!)
When i created this blog: November 2019! It was riiiight after the season 3 finale of miraculous aired and absolutely wrecked my emotions. I had some fanfic written that I’d never posted and had been thinking about making a tumblr/ao3 for awhile, and seeing the finale made me finally go, “.....you know what, yeah. The finale is aired, no more spoilers.....it’s time to make a blog.” So I did! And I posted my first fic! And I’m so happy i did :)
What Do I Post: a bunch of multi fandom stuff XD. This blog started off as 90% Miraculous, 10% other fandoms I like...but now it’s just kind of a hodgepoge of my favorite fandoms (with a focus on Phineas and Ferb, lol). I reblog a lot of posts, and then I post original stuff too! I write fanfic, nowadays for Phineas and Ferb but for Miraculous in the past (and probably in the future!), I draw art (mostly Phinabella art because I’ve been drawing them since i was 11 and it feels good to return to my roots), and OCCASIONALLY I will write an analysis post (I’ve got one in the works rn actually 👀), attempt to make a meme, or dip my toe into salt just SLIGHTLY before quickly backing away, lol. If I were to list the fandoms I post about in the order of how frequently I post about them, I’d probably say: Phineas and Ferb, Miraculous....and thennnnn everything else is pretty random and depends on the day, lol.
Last thing i googled: Jay Baruchel 😂. Couldn’t remember how to spell his last name!
Other blogs: this is my only blog! Sometimes I think about making a separate blog for my art and writing, but I am not sure if I should or not....maybe I will someday, but idk. I also have an AO3 for fanfic and an Instagram for art! All are under the name “authenticcadence18.”
Do I get asks: sometimes, yeah!! Sometimes I reblog ask games/prompts and get some asks for those (I’ve got so many prompts in my inbox I want to write/draw things for...ah it’s fine, I’ll get to it eventually😅), and sometimes lovely people will leave thoughts or nice messages in my inbox🥺💕. I’ve got a specific tag for all those nice messages so I can read back over them whenever I need a boost!
Why this url: it’s a music pun! When a song/section of a piece of music ends with a dominant chord resolving to a tonic chord (if you’ve read a certain fic of mine you should know allll about dominant and tonic chords👀🤣), it’s called an authentic cadence! There are different kinds of cadences, and authentic ones are my favorite. One example of this is “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” I also use this blog to be my authentic, fandom-loving self! So I like authentic cadences, and also, I’m Cadence and using this blog to be authentic! Woo! (And 18 is just my favorite number, lol) I’m glad I ended up choosing a name that doesn’t tie to a specific fandom becaaaaaause this ended up being a multi fandom blog!
Following: 232!!
Followers: 292!!! (THANKS SO MUCH Y’ALL ILY 💕)
Average amount of sleep: wellllll for the past week and a half I was sick so I was probably getting 9ish hours a night (because I would sleep in really late, lol). but NOW? In my immediate future? I suspect my average amount of sleep is going to go down because I’m really bad about staying up late even when I have to get up early😅. Hoping to be good about getting at least 7ish hours a night!
Lucky number: 18! But y’all probably already guessed that, lol.
Instruments: my voice, piano, ukulele, viola (but it’s been a HOT minute), aaaand i used to be able to play guitar but then I got a ukulele and forgot all the guitar chords. (I also dabble in songwriting! I primarily use voice and piano when writing music.)
What I’m wearing: my favorite sweatshirt (that was last night, rn I have on a tanktop), some leggings, and socks!
Dream job: I’m currently learning to be a teacher, and I LOVE teaching and working with kids so that is definitely a job I’m really excited about!!! I would also love to portray characters at Disney or something (well, maybe not at Disney because I hear they’re strict, but like....I want to be Rapunzel or Anna or something, that would be so fun). OR, I would LOVE to work in tv animation somehow, be it voice acting, writing scripts/music, and/or story boarding. basically if I could do what Dan and Swampy did for Phineas and Ferb/Milo Murphy’s Law, I would LOVE THAT. (Especially the writing music part. Getting to write music for established characters and get PAID for it would be SO COOL.!.!.!) Also I think it would be so fun to write Disney storybooks! Like, those books that are about Cinderella baking a cake or Ariel befriending a seahorse, stuff like that. Those brought me a ton of joy as a child!
Dream trip: I want to visit alllll the Disney parks someday😅. (Not right now because, ya know, Covid...but someday!)
Fave food: uhhh i really like pizza. And popcorn. Also hummus and guacamole!
nationality: American
Fave songs: “Times” by Tenth Avenue North; “Can’t Help Falling in Love” (I made an entire playlist of just this song when I first started writing my fic of the same name, so I like the original and a ton of covers of it!), “Show Yourself” from Frozen II, “What Might Have Been” from Phineas and Ferb (and lots of other songs from that show, i made a whole post about that once but I can’t find it, oof); “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle; “Thank You” by Pentatonix; “I See the Light” from Tangled; “Your Hands” by JJ Heller; “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran.....i like a loooot of songs so this is just the tip of the iceberg, but I think that’s good for now, LOL! (As soon as I post this I’m going to remember another song I love, lol)
last book: I got the book Unbirthday for Christmas! It’s basically Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but if she’d never gone to wonderland and things went horribly wrong there. (I think, I’m not that far into it yet, lol)
Top 3 fictional universes I’d love to live in: 1. DANVILLE, PLS. Especially as a kid, I SO would’ve loved to hang out with Isabella and Phineas and the rest of the gang! Danville is so vibrant and unique and people are always randomly breaking into song there, that’s my kind of place! 2. Fairytopia (from the Barbie movies!) because I could be a fairy OR a mermaid OR BOTH and eat seeweed to breathe underwater even if I wasn’t a mermaid. Like, that’s the dream right there. (I’ve always loved mermaids and fairies, lol!) 3. Maybe San Fransokyo from Big Hero 6? All of the technology in that universe is really cool! And I would love to eat a noodle burger, lol .
Oh! That’s the last one! Wow! This was so FUN!!!!!!! Thanks again for the tag, Maddy!!!! :)
I’ll taaaag @sketchy-panda @macaronsforchat @simplynewyorkbound @inkjackets and anyone else who’d like to do this! (And pls don’t feel pressured to play at all, or answer all of the questions! I was definitely vague with a few of my answers, lol)
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salemwolfgang · 5 years
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Wild Ride
Request: “Hi!! First of all, i love your writing. I have a request :) I literally had a dream about this and I NEED someone to write it lol. A fan (young girl in her 20’s) meets Jeffrey Dean Morgan backstage at a comic con (she’s like obsessed with him) and he’s nice to her but standoffish bc he can see how crazy she is lol. But anyway, something happens where he ends up having to give her a ride home (like he sees her walking or something) on his motorcycle and she starts touching him.. there 😳 but he keeps moving her hand away. (So he’s playing super hard to get) and when he drops her off at home he walks her in and becomes EXTREMELY dominant and rough and fucks her. Like an angry fuck for teasing him so much. And after, he feels super guilty. Sorry this was so detailed 😫😶 I just really want a fic where Jeffrey plays super hard to get with the reader and she teases the shit out of of him until he can’t take it anymore”
Pairing: Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader
Warning: Smut and Cursing 
A/N: I don’t mind having a lot of detail in requests, it kinda helps a lot actually. Also I changed it from home to hotel. I know that not all of this is correct but I changed it to fit the story better. I do plan on editing it and making it a bit  longer as well if you guys want. Other than that, enjoy!
It had always been your dream to go to a Comic Con and take photos with your favorite actors. You especially wanted one with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, he had been your favorite actor for years now. Ever since you saw him in Days Of Wrath you fell in love with his acting. 
You started watching his movies and soon fell in love with not only his acting but him. Sure the age difference was massive, he could be your dad, and he was older than the guys you normally slept with but there was just something about him that made you feel some type of way. You embarrassingly have to admit that you’ve even had a few dreams about him that have left your bed sheets soaked.
When you heard that the Jeffrey was going to the con that would be at a city near you, you just had to go. For weeks you worked extra shifts to try and save up more money for meetup tickets. When the time came, you had managed to pull together three hundred dollars for the con. Plus some extra for food, the hotel and for merchandise. You planned on going to the con for the whole week plus an extra day.
A day before the con you drove to the city and checked into your hotel and walked around the city to see what places you could go to after the con. You looked for restaurants that you could go to after and picked up a few things you thought you’d need for the con. When you finished you went back to the hotel. 
After putting everything where it should go and laying out you outfit you walked over and plopped onto the bed. Resting your head on the pillows your mind began to race with all the excitement of finally meeting your favorite people. You had never done something like this and it was exciting. So much so it took you a bit before your could finally sleep properly.
A few hours later you woke frantically to the sound of your phone alarm blaring. You turned it off and got your things together to shower and get ready. You ordered room service to deliver breakfast to you at nine. When it arrived you were dressed and your hair had been fixed to what your found a suitable look. You ate your breakfast while checking through your phone for any updates on the con and checked some of the few cosplayers that would be there.
Your first day was quite exciting. You met two of the actors you adored and and bought a few shirts from the stands in the building. It was quite tiring walking around so you left a bit earlier than you wanted and got dinner at a restaurant before heading back to the hotel. You mimicked your retune from the night before but this time you spent a little extra time in the shower.
You found the shower head to be a great tension reliever.
After you went to bed this time, you fell asleep much easier and without to much trouble.
Your morning schedule was much like yesterday’s your outfit for today was a bit more revealing due to your excitement and wanting to show off to Jeffrey. On your way to the con you drifted in and out of your thoughts. They wondered about thinking of all the possible, very unrealistic, outcomes of today. They all made your heart buzz in your chest.
Before you knew it you were in line for the pictures and you were incredibly anxious. A woman who was also waiting noticed and turned to you with a light, comforting, smile.
“First time?” She asked.
“Second.” You corrected, “I’ve only done this with one other time and that was yesterday.”
“Meeting famous people will do that to yah. Especially with a man like Jeffery, he’s just so hot yah know?”
“I know, ugh. He’s so talented too; both in movies, shows and modeling.” Talking to this woman greatly calmed you down. You felt all of your nerves and worries shed away like an unwanted second skin.
You and her talked for a few more minutes while you were waiting. You found out her name was Amelia and that she was from southern Ohio. She came up with some friends who were touring around the city and going to the con as well for other people. She was also around your age and was just as obsessed with Jeffrey as you were. 
 This being your first con you decided to go all out and purchase a VIP badge to get you backstage with the actors along with a few others. Sadly Amelia was not one so she ended up going into another line. You luckily managed to get her Instagram and Twitter account before she had to go up for the meetup.
After waiting a while the actors finally started coming back stage to meet the VIP fans. There were only twenty of them so it wasn’t too overwhelming for the actors. You looked around at all of the ones who were there: Lauren Cohan, Steven Yeun, Katelyn Nacon, Tom Payne and Jeffrey were the ones who were doing the con for tonight. 
You waited excitedly to talk to Jeffrey. While you waited you managed to get a few photos and have a conversation with some of the other actors. Though you weren’t overly into The Walking Dead, you still enjoyed it. You talked to the actors about their characters and what it was like filming the show and other movies they were in.
Thankfully you managed to finally get to Jeffrey after around thirty minutes of waiting. The excitement you had bubbled up and you smiled brightly at him. Jeffrey smiled polity back.
“Hello.” His voice was calm but he was very hesitant. 
Though you seemed like a nice person, he’s seen the things fans have done. Things that were quite fucked up. Luckily you didn’t appear to be at that level, he hoped. 
“Is there anything you’d like me to sign?” You nodded and handed him two shirts and a photo card. 
He was quite surprised, the had others handed him so many things and it took a while to get it all done. He signed them quickly and then handed them back without saying much.
“I’m sorry I’m not talking much, the others wore me out. Anyways, do you have any questions?” 
“Ah yes but just three, don’t worry. First, how's your farm doing? Any new pets?” 
“It’s doing very well actually. I am getting some new animals but not for a while.”
Your smile seemed to grow bigger at his answer. All anxiety gone on slightly lingering but otherwise gone. 
“Oh sweet, that’s awesome! Do you plan on taking any new roles yet? Or just waiting until you’re finished with The Walking Dead?” 
“And last, how has your day been so far? You must be exhausted.” You voice was sympathetic towards him not wanting to add on to the stress he already felt.
“Just like every other con, some good and some bad. For the most part it’s been good.” His lips curled into a smile, a small one but one non the less.
“That’s good!” You paused admiring his relaxed features. 
Times like these reminded you of how much you liked him. 
“Okay, well that’s all. I’ll leave you alone now haha.” You got up and left with some other members out the exit.
You only stayed at the con for another hour before deciding to head back to your hotel. Your feet were sore from all the walking and you were ready for a rest. As you walked out of the building you checked your money to see if you had some for a cab or Uber but sighed when you realized you wouldn’t have enough for either.
“Looks like I’m gonna have to walk then.” You groaned out. 
God this sucked. 
Slowly you made your way back to the hotel. You had only been walking for a minute or two when suddenly a bike pulled up to you. The rider got off and walked towards you while taking off their helmet. You couldn’t believe it. It was Jeffery.
“What--what are you doing?” You were in awe that he was next to you again.
“I uh--I saw you walking and you looked exhausted so I thought I could give you a lift perhaps. What hotel are you staying at?” His voice was sincere towards you and you felt your chest flutter at the kind gesture.
“Oh you don’t have to. I can walk just-”
“No, I insist. It’s fine really.” He put his hand out that held onto the helmet for you to use.
“Umm okay then.” As you hesitantly grabbed onto it and walked towards the bike; you told him the name of the hotel you were staying at. 
You put on the helmet and sat down behind him on the seat. When he got on you snaked your hands around his waist and held on tightly. Rarely did you ride motorcycles so you were slightly on edge the first few seconds.
Though, after a few minutes, you got more confident on your position. Your hands drifted towards his crotch. You rubbed him lightly but before you went harder he moved your hand away. You felt his breathing get heavier as the ride went on. After reacting your actions once again, and being rejected again, you stopped thinking he was no longer interested. Unknown to you; that was that far from the truth.
Sadly your ride came to an end and you arrived at your hotel. Embarrassingly you got off of the motorcycle, saying a quick goodbye to Jeffrey as well as taking the helmet off to hand it back to him, and headed into the entrance. Though right as you were about to enter a hand grabbed onto your arm.  
 You quickly turned around expecting some weird stranger but instead found Jeffrey. His face was flushed and his hair very unkempt.
“You...” He gestured down to his pants. “Need to fix this. Now.” His voice was deeper than you’ve heard it before. 
It was hot.
You said nothing and just nodded. You then grabbed his hand and began pulling him up to your room. Right as your door open Jeffrey pushed the door open and grabbed onto your hips. He slammed the door shut then you on the wall. 
His mouth pushed onto yours and he hungrily pried your mouth open to taste you. You moaned at the feeling of his aggressive movements. This was more than you could ever ask for. You had little time to indulge in the kiss because he soon pulled away. His hands grabbed your thighs and he lifted you in one swift movement causing you to let out a small shriek, to which he laughed at. He then carried you to the bed and set you on it. He released his hold on you to remove his shirt and unbuckle his pants.
You began to remove your clothing as well, excitement bubbling inside you causing you to completely soak your underwear. When you were both completely nude he climbed on top of you. His stare only made the fire in your stomach to grow. You were desperate for him and only him now.
“What you did on the way here was very rude of you. Maybe I should do the same?” The thought of him teasing and edging you on sent a shiver of excitement down your spine.
“But as much as I’d want to tease the absolute fuck out of you right now; I can’t wait to just sink my cock into you.”
His lips began to trail down your jaw, neck, collarbones. Only stopping to remove your shirt and bra to continue onto your breasts. You let out a needy wine and moved your hips up to meet his.
A small, but deep, groan left his lips. 
“God, you’ll be the end of me.”
Jeffrey unbuckled and removed his pants and your did the same. He crawled on top of you and kissed your roughly. His tongue dove into your mouth with out hesitation. While distracted her moved his hands down to your inner thighs. With one swift movement your legs were pulled wide open and you wet pussy now on display for him. 
He made a hum of satisfaction as he guided his aching cock along your folds. You were so wet and just from him being aggressive too. He was going to enjoy this.
Before he pushed in he looked you in the eyes and his features seemed to soften he then whispered, “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.” 
You nodded in understatement, you wanted this; always have and will. With that in mind he thrusted roughly into you. The light sting seemed to add on to the pleasure surprisingly. You moaned loudly and it seemed to drive him to start at a rough pace. 
You held onto his back, nails digging into his skin. Your head thrown back and buried into the pillows; chest heaving. Man, were you a sight to behold for him. He watched as you came undone around his cock. He found himself getting close and a few thrusts later Jeffrey came into your pussy, a loud moan leaving his lips as he did so. 
Your orgasm quickly followed and he let you ride it out on him. 
“We should,” your breathe was uneven and you took in big gulps so you could talk properly. “Definitely do this again,” you continued. 
“Next time I’m free, I’ll call you.” He genuinely meant it. He liked you, he liked this.
Slowly he pulled out of you and laid next you. His arms wrapped around you and the both of you laid on the bed. A minute or to later and Jeffrey turned to you.
“Ready for another few rounds?”
“Hell yes.”
You moved to sit on top of him, your shaky  legs wrapped around his hips. Slowly you guided his cock into you once again. This time there was no pain, only strong pleasure. 
He grabbed you hips and helped you ride him, you both lasted much longer than the first time. As you rode him he pulled you down against him and started sucking harshly on your neck leaving a trailed of hickies along your neck. 
He wanted to bruise you up and show everyone how much fun you had last night. Seeing you covered in his marks riled him up and his grip on you tightened and you felt yourself cum a second time. You’ve never felt so good before.
“Hold on baby girl, I’m not done just yet.” 
He quickly flipped the both of you so he was on top again. His pace slowed but was still harsh, then he came in you again. 
“This night is going to be fun.” You smiled up at him and he smirked at you.
“You bet your ass.” 
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Author Spotlight: @under-the-shady-tree
Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.
First things first, tell us a little about yourself.
Well, my name is Lauren, I live in Indianapolis and groom dogs for a living. I have a very tight-knit family so I spend pretty much all my time hanging out with them and having fun being the “cool” aunt.
How long have you been writing for?
Since I learned how to write. My parents gave me a diary for my 6th birthday and from that moment on, I was writing all the time. I used to write stories about me and my friends and reading my stories during recess became a thing. I moved onto fanfiction once the internet came around and still continue to journal and write original fiction.
What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?
A Life in the Day. I hadn’t written anything for almost two years. Life got rocky for a bit and I just couldn’t do it. I would get ideas for stuff, even The Magicians, but nothing would come of it. But that episode got whatever was blocked in my brain knocked out and it’s been non-stop since then.
Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?
Quentin. I just relate to him so much and understand how that brain could work. He comes really easy to me. Eliot also is one of my favorites, I find so much emotion and love buried under his persona and that is so much fun. Writing them together is just a joy. I also really like writing Margo and that one surprised me because I am so different from her, but like Eliot I’ve found what’s underneath all of her bravado to be so interesting to write.
Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?
I guess season 3 since it’s the most I have written about, but I’ll write where ever the inspiration takes me.
Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?
Right now my time is pretty much all focused on my timeline 23 fic, We Will All Be Changed, it’s kind of a monster of a story for me so it’s got most of my attention. But I have a few things brewing. More of the mosaic lifetime, kind of examining how Quentin, Eliot and Arielle worked as parenting team and how they dealt with her death. I’m also dying to write teenage Rupert!
How long is your “to do list”?
Too long!
What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?
That’s hard, I always hate picking favorites. I lean more toward Destiny Is Bullshit I think because it was my first big one and it’s what really got me going into writing again. I really found Quentin and Eliot’s voices working on it and found that I actually could write Margo. The response I got from it was so positive as well and it really gave me a confidence boost that I never had before. It also inspired more than just that one story (now 8 in the series) and gave me a way to fill in the blanks for the rest of the season and for their mosaic lifetime.
Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?
I would have to say my fic All That Remains is Love. It’s a 5+1 story dealing with death so it might be too depressing, but it’s all of my favorite things. It’s missing scenes we didn’t get to see, angst and Queliot falling in love very slowly. I also worked non stop on it once the idea hit me and it drove me a little insane until it was done. It emotionally drained me writing it so I just want to shove it at everyone and be like “LOVE THIS!!!”
What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?
It depends on the length of what I’m writing. For the shorter fics I usually have more of an abstract idea and a few lines of dialogue or a surprise ending in mind. I have a few playlists for certain moods. (I’m a little obsessed about having a soundtrack to everything I do in my life, not just writing) Then I just start working it out line by line.
For longer ones, it’s a much bigger process because I like to plan. I don’t even consider starting a multi-chapter fic unless I’ve worked out the beginning, middle and end and what the conflict is. I create a playlist that goes to that particular fic and that always sets a good tone for me. Then I break it down chapter by chapter and start writing. I get the bare bones out, like the dialogue and where they are. Then I add the inner thoughts and actions and emotions and just kind iron it all out.
Sometimes it changes a lot while I write, sometimes it sticks close to what I thought.
Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?
I’ve only been writing since midway through season 3 and haven’t stopped so I see myself just writing during both pretty consistently. As far as what will happen, it will only inspire more. I have a series that sticks very close to canon so I can get all my added scenes and further in-depth peek into the show. So that will only help that grow. And ideas that fit out of that bubble come along too and I just go with it.
I think it would be kind of fun to continue some of my season 4 speculation stuff right into au territory because I’m sure what I wrote won’t happen, so who knows.
What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?
Of fics that are finished, The Mess We Made. It was hard because I realized early on that I was writing a younger Quentin and Eliot than who they were in Destiny is Bullshit. I kind of struggled with getting them to fight, because I just spent months writing them with a lifetime together under their belt and a deep understanding of each other. The Mess We Made was them a few years into that lifetime so they were still learning things about each other and experiencing things for the first time. I ended up kind of leaning into that difficulty with getting them to fight and tried to amp up the fighting to a few big blow-ups.
My timeline 23 fic is quickly becoming my most challenging though, it’s basically 3 or 4 full-length fics that sometimes crossover and then all end up mashed together. It’s pretty challenging.
Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?
Angst, angst and more angst, lol. I am also a sucker for deep connections between people, be it romantic or otherwise, and really expose the good, the bad and the ugly about those relationships. So you know, more angst. But happy endings are my favorite too.
Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?
I’m always inspired by all the other Magicians fanfiction writers (honestly, Magicians fanfiction is really the only fanfic I read right now)
Alice Sebold is probably my favorite writer. She has a way of writing emotion in a way that feels really real and honest to an almost uncomfortable degree. It’s almost too real. Also the authors of my youth, Ann M. Martin and Judy Blume, I wanted to write because of them.
What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?
I am reading “Written in Blood” It’s a book looking into the death of Kathleen Peterson of Stairway fame. (I love true crime) Also, I’m actually reading The Magician King. My sister is reading the Magician’s books for the first time so I’m reading along with her so we can discuss. I also am keeping up on whatever comes up on AO3!
What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?
Keep writing, whether it’s good or bad, just get it out and you can build on it later but it needs to be out there to fix.
Cringe time:
Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?
Oh man, I don’t know, I sometimes think everything I write is just a repeat of the last thing lol. Looked, people are always looking at each other and it’s hard to come up with different ways to express that.
What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?
I wrote an American Girl fanfic. My best friend and I traveled back in time to 1774 and went on an adventure with Felicity! I still have it, in a notebook in a box in my closet. I have two boxes (not huge boxes or anything) of old diaries, journals and notebooks full of my writing. My parents didn’t want to throw that away growing up.
Rapid Fire Round:
Self-edit or Beta? Self-edit
Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? All of the above!
Smut, Fluff or Angst? angst!!
Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn, the slower the better
Favourite season? 3
Favourite episode? A life in the day
Favourite book(The Magicians books)? The Magician King
Three favourite words? Triskaidekaphobia, Loquacious, Fuck
Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.
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Cheerleader/Soccer player PART 5
Ok so I wrote this series years ago (i think like 4 yrs lmao) and I had a very uncharacteristic urge to finish several stuff I have lingering about.. 
and this was one of them…IDK If anyone is still interested in reading? Lol or even remember? Or maybe you’re new here bc of riptide but lmao surprise I wrote this cringe drabble that turned into a 5 part fic :)
I am like...70% embarrassed by this fic bc i hate mostly every previous part. it was hard to continue bc I had to get over my crippling distaste for sudden POV changes. maybe someday when I’m not too caught up in my own procrastination I’ll go back and rewrite and flesh out this mess and post it on AO3, but for now this’ll have to do.
to the person constantly harassing me to finish it YOU KNOW WHAT ANNIE I FUCKING IFNALLY DID IT OKAY. MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU ASS! @cherylsbosom
also apologies for any typos
PART 5
“Alright, status report girls.”
“I thought we were dropping the fancy lingo?”
“Yeah it’s kinda confusing to keep up with.”
“Status report,” Ally Brooke repeats, sharply eyeing the girls on her bed.
She had invited Dinah and Normani after school to continue discussing a potential plan B.
But from the looks of it, Ally’s got the distinct impression that that’s the last thing on their minds. If their giggling over Dinah’s phone was any obvious indication.
Ally clears her throat pointedly. When that has no effect, Ally stomps her foot. “Girls!”
Dinah drops her phone and Normani’s laughter immediately tapers off.
“We have to focus here. Lives are at stake,” Ally says, as she flips open to the newest empty page in her notepad.
Normani gives her a look of disbelief. Ally almost flushes at the expression, because, okay, maybe she is still getting a bit carried away with this Operation Camren thing.
But she had convinced herself that Camila and Lauren were both too stubborn to realize the obvious. This was all for the sake of love.
And Ally was a firm believer in doing things for the sake of love.
Her eyes glance down at the notepad in time to realize she had already spelled out the mortifying title. She hastily scribbles it out before the girls can see. Normani’s expression turns into an annoyed eye roll.
Fortunately she doesn’t comment, much to the Ally’s relief.
“Mila’s not doing so well,” Dinah says, finally returning her complete attention on the topic at hand. “She’s been ditching soccer practice lately and she never wants to leave her room whenever I try to invite her to go out.”
Ally figured as much. It’s been almost a month since that awful incident at the party, an incident that Camila has been very close lipped about.
Ally had lost count of the number of times she tried to get the girl to open up. Inevitably, each time had always ended in a very indignant frown and an annoyed: “Just drop it Ally, everything is fine, okay?”
Ally wouldn’t press after that. But it was clear that everything most definitely was not okay.
“Lauren is bitchier than usual and I don’t think it has anything to do with the freshman cheerleaders fucking up the pyramid formation,” Normani admits after a while.
Ally sighs at this. She’d been aware of the head cheerleader’s mood swings, witnessing a firsthand account of it yesterday when Lauren completely chewed out a freshman for missing a step in the routine. An honest mistake that really didn’t deserve such a harsh scolding.
Ally had tried to calm Lauren down at the time, but she was having none of it. Instead, Lauren had chosen to stomp off and cut practice short.
Normally, this wouldn’t exactly worry Ally. It wasn’t anything new for Lauren to throw tantrums when things weren’t going her way. But for the tantrums to be so closely followed by a complete emotional 180 was something to be concerned about. And recently Ally had caught Lauren in a state of severe melancholy.
It was a draining experience hanging out with the girls only to have Lauren bringing the atmosphere down with the frequent amount of times she would frown sadly. Or respond sadly. Or even just breathe sadly. Ally had lost count of the sudden urges to shake Lauren and demand what was wrong.
But then, Ally would catch Lauren staring at Camila.
And she had decided that perhaps leaving them alone really was the best option.
Ally plops down at the edge of the bed, defeated.
“And I really thought this was all going to work out.”
“Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be,” Normani offers, as she inspects her nails. “Even though their horoscopes say they’re totally compatible.”
Ally doesn’t question how Normani even knows Camila’s birthday.
.
.
.
Another month passes. Another month of the same strained atmosphere. Ally is sure the rest of the cheerleaders have picked up on their leader’s flip flopped mood swings. The girls on the squad learned to leave a wide span between themselves and Lauren.
The soccer team wasn’t faring much better. Ally had noticed Camila’s performance out on the field had suffered drastically to the point that she’d been sitting out on the bench more often than not.
It was a dreary month for all of them, despite the rapidly approaching homecoming game. Something that she, Lauren, and Normani had excitedly talked about at the beginning of the school year was a topic that had been seemingly forgotten.
Yet the school didn’t share the same sentiment. Everywhere, people were buzzing with pregame excitement weeks before. Hallways were adorned with bright posters and decorations. The school’s PA always made sure to add a final comment reminding students to buy their tickets. Many conversations between classes were heard predicting the outcome of the game.
Today isn’t any different, Ally thinks as she pushes past a group of guys on the football team hyping the other up. She rolls her eyes. The action makes her stop before the cafeteria. She wasn’t like this. Usually she’d join in on the hype. Relish in it.
This whole Lauren and Camila is seriously putting a damper in my mental well being too.
She sighs, pushing through the double doors leading to the cafeteria, feeling a wave of despair at the thought.
The cafeteria is loud and rowdy. More than usual, Ally notices. Her eyes flit over to the source of the noise to find a growing throng of students near the far end of the room.
The shouts and jeers echo across the cafeteria walls, mixing into a cacophonous mess. Ally can’t exactly discern what is being said or cheered. But from the school spirit that’s been thrust in her face recently she thinks she has a pretty good guess.
For a moment, Ally panics that this was a planned lunch event she forgot about, or in one of Lauren’s irrational moods, she’d decided to have an impromptu pep rally to punish the squad.
Ally quickly rifles through her bag, pulling out her weekly planner. After flipping to the latest date, relief spreads through her chest.
No. No scheduled event.
More students gravitate towards the crowd. Ally pushes through several people, in the opposite direction, until she finds Normani.
“What’s going on?” Ally questions, sidling up beside the girl. Normani simply shakes her head.
“I don’t know.”
Ally opens her mouth but Normani quickly cuts in.
“And no, I don’t want to know.”
Ally pouts at her indifference.
The both of them make their way to their usual table. And when Lauren joins them a few moments later, she makes no indication that she’s noticed the unusual overly eager students.
Well that rules out an impromptu pep rally.
Lauren takes a seat. Ally immediately feels a wave of sympathy upon seeing her friend. She takes in Lauren’s miserable frown, the distressed knit of her eyebrows and downcast eyes.
This was probably worse than the random angry outbursts the past month. Seeing Lauren so dejected always managed to pull at her heartstrings.
“Hey girl,” Ally greets, moving to take the seat across from her. Lauren barely lifts up her gaze as she tosses her food with the fork in her other hand.
“Hey,” she answers, casting her eyes down upon the untouched food again.
“You want some of my fruit salad?” Normani probes.” My mom put in some mangos, I know you like them.”
Lauren doesn’t even flinch at the uncharacteristically nice gesture.
“Maybe later.”
Ally and Normani exchange a look. This behavior had seemed to be going further and further into a downward spiral as the weeks progressed. Ally was almost tempted to go through with her intervention.
Look how your meddling turned out.
Maybe Normani was right. Maybe it would be just best to leave them alone.
Ally sighs, before pulling out her own lunch.
The crowd continues to go on strong. The jeers and sneers reverberate throughout the lunchroom even more so than before.
Ally begins to notice that the majority of students are starting to swarm the crowd. Her eyes glance around the people trying to determine the situation. That’s when she realizes something that makes her stomach drop.
“I think that’s the soccer team’s table,” Ally says. The tone of her voice grabs both girls’ attention. She watches as Lauren’s eyes dart towards the crowd and the similar conclusion comes to her. Her expression instantly sparks to life.
Lauren is out of her seat before Ally has time to register anything. She doesn’t even have time to tell her to wait because in the next second Lauren is shoving people out of the way and disappearing among the mass of students.
“Come on,” Ally blurts out, tugging Normani up from her seat to chase after her.
Their process is a lot less effortless than Lauren who had people parting like the red sea after her aggressive pushes.
It’s probably because of the hastily muttered excuse me’s that fall from Ally’s lips. Eventually Normani becomes so frustrated that she just hollers a very loud MOVE.
The students finally part, allowing them to push through until they reach the table…. only to realize that they’re too late.
Ally feels her blood turn cold when she sees her friends.
Slowly, her senses come into focus. And she realizes, dizzily, that cheering she heard earlier were actually people chanting FIGHT.
Dinah and one of the freshmen on the cheer squad are in an intense hair pulling scuffle, while Lauren is on the floor trying to aim a punch on another beneath her, who Ally suddenly recognizes as the girl Lauren chewed out at practice what felt like forever ago.
Ally lunges forward trying to pull Lauren up from the girl, as Normani attempts to pry apart the two other girls beside them.
She manages to get Lauren to her feet, not without a ridiculous amount of struggle. Because then Lauren keeps attempting to hit the girl on the floor. The victim of Lauren’s assault isn’t making things any easier for her either, as she continuously claws at them until Ally gets caught in the fray.
Ally feels her hair being yanked in an awkward angle painfully.
God, if she wasn’t a pacifist she swears she would –
“Stop! Stop! Stop this immediately what on earth are all of you – girls STOP IT!”
The sound of the principal makes them all spring apart from each other.
The six girls are huffing and red faced, attempting to catch their breaths.
Ally’s hand instantly comes to gingerly rub her sore scalp, before scowling at the culprit for the hair pulling. The freshman’s eye is already swelling, and Ally tries to quell the silly surge of pride towards Lauren for getting her good.
She glances at Lauren, sighing in relief that her friend looks unscathed for the most part. Her eyes then come to Dinah and Normani. Dinah is pouting as she tries to fix her mussed hair and Normani is pressing her fingers to her bottom lip in search of blood.
Ally sighs again, and that’s when she remembers the last girl. She searches in a frenzy for Camila, praying she wasn’t a part of this. But then she sees the soccer player, gaping wordlessly at them …completely covered in food.
The principal turns his attention towards them all.
“You seven. My office. Now.”
.
.
.
A month’s worth of scraping gum off the cafeteria tables seems a lot better than a potential suspension. Ally will take what she can get, she decides as they all disperse from the principal’s office.
The two offending freshmen pull Lauren aside to beg for forgiveness. Though from Lauren’s stony expression, Ally figures Lauren is already planning to kick them off the team. But then is momentarily shocked when Lauren accepts their apology stiffly, followed by a malicious threat to stay in line.
(Later on, Ally would find out the girls’ had decided to go after Camila in a misguided attempt lighten up their captain’s somber mood).
“Did you see that girl’s eye? You got her so good, Laurenzo. I’m kind of proud,” Dinah compliments, after the two girls slink away. Lauren’s lips tilt into a small smile.
“Yeah but you practically pulled out her entire weave. That’s impressive,” Lauren responds, a smile finally breaking out.
Not that Ally condones fighting, because, like, she so doesn’t, but it’s nice seeing them get along. Albeit for the wrong reasons. But there’s something so amazing seeing Dinah nudging Lauren in that friendly manner. As if they’d known each other their entire lives.
“You both are ridiculous,” Normani snaps. “I literally just got my nails done yesterday and this happened.” She lifts her hand up to show off a broken middle fingernail. They both laugh and after a while Normani cracks a grin. “But okay, yeah it was kind of bad ass.”
“Kind of? Did you see the other girls?” Dinah demands.
“I don’t really understand how you’re all so happy. We got a month’s detention because you guys can’t communicate like normal people.” Camila’s voice pierces through the lighthearted atmosphere. Ally almost forgets her presence because she had been so silent during their walk through the hallway.
She watches as Camila pulls out a spaghetti noodle from her hair and flicks it to the floor.
“We were defending you,” Lauren mumbles after a while.
“I didn’t ask you to,” Camila snaps. “I was handling it.”
“Clearly,” Lauren mumbles sarcastically.
“You know what?” Camila whirls around. “I don’t need your sarcasm. And I don’t need your stupid sympathy, okay? Today wouldn’t have even happened if you weren’t such a bitch.”
Lauren visibly recoils.
“Mila,” Ally begins but the soccer player shoots her a glare.
“No, don’t do that-“
“It wasn’t my fault,” Lauren begins hotly.
“Like you didn’t plan to have them dump the entire squad’s lunch on me. I have spaghetti noodles in places there shouldn’t be!” Camila snaps.
“Mila, she didn’t know that those girls were going to do that to you. You really think she would send those cheerleaders after you?” Dinah questions.
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
It’s the statement that does it. That plunges the atmosphere completely into a subzero level. That makes Lauren look completely heartbroken. That actually breaks Ally’s heart.
.
.
.
It’s another week of radio silence between the two. Another week of Ally and Normani (and now on occasion Dinah), watching Lauren sigh dejectedly into her food during lunch. Sometimes she’d cast a few sad looks over to the soccer team’s table. And the girls would look upon her sympathetically.
Lauren didn’t know which was worse.
The pity or being ignored. While one was infuriating as hell, the other just…hurt.
This morning in particular was brutal. She had run into Camila in the hallway, accidentally knocking her duffel bag from her shoulder. When she tried to reach down to grab it, Camila scrambled to pick it up herself and hurried away head bowed. The exchange – or lack of one – left Lauren feeling like she was a ghost.
“Would you just talk to her?” Normani groans exasperatedly after Lauren recounts the events to the three of them in Ally’s room after school.
“She practically hates my guts.” Lauren mutters into her pillow.
“Look, as much as I love kicking you especially when you’re down I don’t think I can take any more of your moping. It’s actually starting to depress me,” Normani sighs, sitting down beside Lauren on the bed. “And I doubt she hates you.”
“Yeah, it’s impossible for Mila to hate anything,” Dinah chimes in from her spot on the floor.
“Except me.”
“She’s just really upset right now, Lauren,” Ally supplies. “And rightfully so. You really did a number on her. What the heck did you even say to her at the party?”
At this, Lauren feels her face redden with shame.
She had toyed with the idea of telling them, but she feared that they would hate her more than she hated herself. And she wasn’t ready for any more negativity.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lauren mumbles. “It was…it was really bad. And I feel really shitty for it too.”
“Then tell her that,” Normani snaps.
That’s easier said than being done, Lauren thinks. She makes a small grunt that earns an eye roll from her friend.  
Ally comes to sit next to her and places a comforting hand on her shoulder.
“Lauren, we’ve all seen the way you look at her.”
Lauren freezes at this. It’s the first time they all sort of acknowledge the big pink elephant of the room that is her more than platonic feelings for the soccer player. And she almost expects mockery or insults. But when she glances up to find them all staring at her supportively, she feels a deep seated worry slowly dissipate.
“And we’re all more than positive she feels the same way,” Ally continues, saying just the right thing to settle her confused doubt.
“Really?”
“Girl, of course she does,” Dinah adds in. “She looks at you like you put the pineapples on her pizza.”
“That’s disgusting, Dinah,” Normani retorts with a fake gag.
“Well where else are you supposed to put pineapples?”
“Um, not on a pizza.”
“It’s called Hawaiian pizza.”
“All that should be on my pizza is pepperoni and cheese,” Normani argues stubbornly.
“How can you not like pineapples on pizza? Who doesn’t like pineapples on pizza?” Dinah demands turning to look at them incredulously.
“I like Canadian bacon,” Ally says unhelpfully.
Lauren tunes the rest of the conversation after the two decide to settle the matter by ordering pizza. Her thoughts stray to the soccer player. And a pang of guilt hits her.
When the pizza arrives twenty minutes later, Normani demands (through a mouth full of Hawaiian pizza) that Lauren take her self-pitying ass next door and grovel for forgiveness.
Dinah agrees, and Ally rephrases that advice in a more encouraging manner. The thumbs up did little for her self esteem as they all but threw her out of Ally’s room and confiscated her phone lest she try to uber it back home.
And that’s really how she finds herself on Camila Cabello’s doorstep, desperately trying to think of ways to get out of knocking.
It’s stupid. This is dumb. There’s no way – absolutely no way Camila would even want to see her. The past week, the soccer player has been pointedly avoiding her.
No, that was an understatement. Lauren was getting the cold shoulder. That blatant icy treatment that left her feeling even worse than before the stupid cafeteria incident.
The last thing Camila had said to her was still plaguing her mind. Camila had insulted her, offended every nerve that could possibly be offended and yet Lauren knew she deserved it. Dinah may have been right – it wasn’t possible for Camila to hate anyone. But reducing Camila to the type of person who could be so incredibly harsh to another person just made the situation all the more worse.
Camila hated her. It wasn’t even something to debate.
Lauren hesitates ringing the doorbell. Her fingertips ghost across the button, brushing the smooth surface uncertainly.
A hundred and one things filter through her head and they all revolve around the girl somewhere behind the door.
She doesn’t get a chance to summon up much courage because in the next second the door is flying open and the Camila Cabello is standing before her.
She doesn’t look as surprised as Lauren feels, which is more than a little disheartening, but she tries not to let it faze her. Instead, she straightens up, almost to the point of rigidity.
Relax Lauren. Jesus. Okay. Here we go-
“What are you doing here?” Camila asks just as Lauren begins to form the apology that was burning to in the back of her throat ever since she Camila ran out of her bedroom crying.
Lauren hesitates, suddenly feeling the little flicker of confidence she fabricated fade away. Camila looks all around unimpressed with her display and this only serves to turn her nerves into jelly. Abort, Lauren. Abort.
NO. You will fucking stay and say your peace or so help me god you dumb shit.
“I asked you a question,” Camila snaps. It seems strange, so completely out of character seeing her so angry. There’s a venom that wasn’t there before in her voice, in her sharp expression that leaves Lauren wishing she had come better prepared for this.
A stab of guilt pricks at her chest as she realizes the only person who made this happen was herself.
Lauren swallows thickly, fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. The attempt to occupy herself with something besides Camila’s steely gaze is pitiful. But then again, she is a coward. She’s not even sure she can look the girl in the eye anymore.
“Look, if you’re not gonna say anything you might as well just –“
“-I’m sorry!” Lauren blurts out. The desperation of the outcry overwhelms her. She’s not going anywhere until she makes Camila listen – to everything. Because she knows deep down this is her only chance. Her only shot at fixing anything that she’s so despicably good at fucking up.
Camila’s glare softens slightly. It’s very miniscule but it gives Lauren the hope she needs.
“I’m sorry, Camila,” she says again, internally quivering at the name that rolls so effortlessly off her tongue.  It comes out so naturally, almost as if it had always sort of had its own place in her voice. As if she was supposed to say it over and over again. Which, admittedly she would do…in the privacy of her room…in the dead of night…where literally no one would be able to hear.
(Of course she would deny ever doing that if anyone asked her).
But it’s the first time she’s ever called Camila by her name. Well the first time non insultingly. And it’s something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the both of them.  Lauren feels her face flush suddenly, and Camila’s eyebrows rise.
“Camila,” she pauses, feeling the nervous little buzz building in her stomach at the name. “I didn’t –  look, about what happened at the party – I didn’t mean it.”
Camila’s eyes narrow and the walls are back up again.
“It sure didn’t sound like it. Just because you defended me last week, which I didn’t even freaking ask you to do by the way, doesn’t mean I’m going to be welcoming you into my life with open arms,” Camila says. “You humiliated me.”
“I know.”
“No. I don’t think you do, Lauren. It hurt. Like a lot, okay?” Camila blurts out. “I’m not even sure I can forgive you.”
Lauren feels that little glimmer of hope crash dive. This isn’t going as planned. Oh what did she know? There weren’t any plans or any go-to instructions for this kind of situation. How were you even supposed to convince the girl that you’ve been stupidly in love with for four years that you want her?
She flushes at the thought and the familiar wave of denial bubbles up in the pit of her stomach. She can barely even admit that fact inside her own head. How could she possibly even begin to explain it to Camila?
The girl practically thinks she hates her, which she doesn’t. Oh god, she doesn’t even hate her at all.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Camila,” Lauren begins, feeling her voice tremble. “I really don’t. I just – I just wanted to explain.”
Camila stares at her expectantly.
“I didn’t know what people were going to think if they found out,” Lauren mutters and Camila rolls her eyes.
“That’s not enough.”
“I was scared.”
“That’s still not enough.”
“Camila, please.”
She sees the girl’s expression soften again, the aggression slowly crumbling away. It gives her the courage she needs, the motivation to bring down her own stupid barrier preventing her from being vulnerable.
And this time, when Camila speaks her anger has soundly melted. “Don’t be scared.”
It’s just a small request, not even louder than a whisper but Lauren can hear it. The conviction behind the three words. The ounce of moral support beneath them. The figurative hesitant arms being slowly opened for her to walk into and it’s enough.
Lauren takes a deep breath, her heart pounding. She swallows thickly and tries to calm the rapid beating.
“I really didn’t mean what I said to you at the party,” she begins
Lauren almost anticipates Camila to make another sarcastic comment, but she simply stares at her so she continues.
“I didn’t mean it when I told you that there wasn’t anything that would happen between us. I didn’t believe it in the slightest because…I wanted something to happen,” she admits in a rush. “And all that stuff about you being no one was just about the shittiest thing I’ve ever said and I feel terrible. It’s not true at all, Camila. Not even a little bit. I was just – I wanted to hurt you because I was the one feeling like the loser. I’m a shitty person know I am.”
“You’re not a shitty person Lauren,” Camila sighs wearily. The admittance makes her hesitate. Makes her stop and stare at Camila keenly, feeling her chest ache suddenly.
Even in her anger, Camila will still defend her. Lauren isn’t even sure if this should please or upset her.
“I am though. And it’s not even about the night of the party. I know I’ve put you through hell for like years. I’ve just been such an idiot about all of this because I was just so fucking scared of what it all meant.” She stops and runs a nervous hand through her hair. “Because I’ve never felt this way, like ever about anyone and I knew, deep down that you had the power to hurt me in the worst way. And I just, like I just refused to give you that power so I thought that if I hurt you first…” Lauren trails off, shaking her head. The shame that’s kept her up all night for weeks manages to creep back up.
She averts her gaze, feeling the all too familiar burning stinging building. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Camila.
“It’s stupid I know,” Lauren mumbles. “It makes no sense – that logic. I’m an idiot and I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be that person who gets scared over every fucking little thing, or the person who cares more about her popularity than the things that really matter. I just don’t care about that stuff anymore. Camila, I don’t care. I don’t even – I can’t even properly articulate how fucking sorry I am. For everything.  For making your feelings seem like they don’t matter because they do, Camila. They matter so much to me. And…I’m done belittling my own feelings as well because…because they matter too.”
She feels Camila’s eyes burning into the side of her face, almost as if prompting her to turn and face her. But she’s afraid of what she’ll see. Disgust? Anger?
She doesn’t expect the softness. She doesn’t expect the understanding. She doesn’t expect the feel of her fingertips brushing against her. In comfort. Acceptance.
Camila’s warm hands come to grip hers, undoing her tight fist. She feels a palm press into hers and it feels so incredibly intimate that Lauren is almost tempted to pull away. The sudden fear springs up again. The fear of being hurt.
But when she looks up at Camila’s face again, the fear melts.
“What do you feel?” Camila asks gently.
She poses the question that went unanswered in that stuffy room during the party. She’s opening the door of vulnerable opportunity. She’s allowing Lauren a second chance. One that she knows she doesn’t deserve.
A gentle squeeze of their hands prompts Lauren to speak again.
“I feel…” Lauren’s voice dies, as a lump forms in her throat. It’s stupid to get this emotional, she thinks. But god it’s been such a long time since she’s felt anything remotely similar to this. “I feel a lot,” she finishes lamely.
Camila tilts her head. For a second, Lauren feels that she’s going to laugh at her dumb attempt at opening up. But Camila is patient, something that Lauren is beginning to feel grateful for. She’s nothing like Lauren.
“I think you should know, that I…” Lauren trails off uncertainly. She stammers on the spot for a moment. It takes another gentle squeeze for Lauren to calm her nerves. “I think you're the most irritatingly adorable person I've met. I get butterflies every time I'm even in the same room as you, or even when you just look at me because you make me so nervous. And you make me doubt everything and it pisses me off but at the same time I love it because it’s you.” She pauses, releasing a shaky breath. "You’re just – like – I don’t even think you realize how extraordinary you are Camila.”
Lauren averts her eyes. Blearily glowering down at her shoes. Shifting weight between each foot. But Camila’s hand is still in hers. Intertwined. Giving Lauren just enough courage to continue.
“And I know it’s stupid because I’ve been such a bitch to you all of these years. I know it probably doesn’t mean much to you, saying all of this now. I just,” Lauren pauses, searching for the proper words. Her pounding heart isn’t exactly making it any easier. Camila staring at her so intensely isn’t making it any easier either. “I just wanted your attention. And I didn't care if it was negative attention.”
Lauren lets out a shuddering breath. The hand in hers loosens, and Lauren quickly tightens it, keeping their fingers firmly interlocked.
“I wanted your eyes on me. I wanted you to know me. That’s what I’ve always ever wanted, Camila."
.
.
.
The homecoming game falls on a chilly Friday night in October. The winds send a biting chill as the sun falls into its daily descent. The bright lights of the stadium highlights the puffs of breaths exhaled from excited students as they find their seats on the bleachers.
The football teams congregate on either side of the field, huddling for their plays. The cheerleaders form a tight group on the track, coming closer for warmth behind their short, pleated skirts, awaiting their captain’s presence.
The frosty air extends past the field, curling and slithering beneath the cracks of the school’s double doors, spreading through the empty hallways. Even faintly permeating within the small confines of the girl’s locker room. Where the conveniently absent head cheerleader has dragged a more than willing soccer player away from the loud crowded football field.
Lauren presses Camila up against the locker. She feels Camila squirm beneath her weight and she gets a thrill out of it. Her lips brush against Camila’s forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her chin, finally resting upon her mouth. Lauren moves them slow and sensually, closing and parting her lips in a delicious rhythm she has become quite familiar with.
Lauren parts her lips again, taking in the Camila’s bottom lip. Her teeth close around them, almost playfully. It would be playful if Lauren’s hands aren’t currently trying to cop a feel beneath the girl’s shirt.
Camila pulls away breathlessly. Her pants beat enticingly against Lauren’s lips, tempting her to close the gap again. But Camila is resilient, even angling her body away slightly.
“Did the girls give you a hard time?” Camila asks, her hands loosening their tight grip in her hair.
“No, it’s not halftime yet.”
Camila nods and leans back against the locker again.
“Do you think they suspect anything?”
“Please. The girls are still betting on Ally’s dumb Operation Camren plan,” Lauren scoffs. Camila laughs. Lauren feels Camila’s fingers play with the ends of her hair, twirling a few strands.
The uneven pace from the kissing has melted, warming Lauren up inside, as if she had her own personal Camila sweater. The thought almost makes her cringe. When did she turn into such a sap?
“You know, without Ally’s dumb plan this probably wouldn’t have happened,” Camila murmurs.
Lauren wants to disagree. She wants to protest and go through her detailed argument of how very much it would have happened anyway. How they were inevitable from the very beginning. It was only a matter of time because they were made for each other.
But it’s stupid and makes her sound like a weenie, even in her head.
Lauren is a lot of things. But she is most definitely not a weenie.
“Should we thank her?”
“Hmm, probably not,” Camila says, glancing down at Lauren’s lips. “I think she’ll be disappointed that she couldn’t plan our first date.”
There’s always the wedding.
For a horrifying second, Lauren almost says that out loud. It takes her a moment to recover from her almost blunder. She secretly thanks the big man upstairs for gracing her with the ability to keep her mouth shut.
(She makes a mental note to go with Ally to church more often).
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Lauren finally responds, eyes roaming across Camila’s face. Her flushed expression. Her red, bruised lips, tousled hand blown out eyes. Lauren feels a quiver of happiness and something not quite as innocent fluttering below her waist. Her nails dance around her skin lightly. Camila shivers beneath her touch.
“Are you cold?” Lauren asks in a soft voice.
Camila glances up at her from beneath her eyelashes and Lauren swears she feels her heart stop.
“A little,” Camila murmurs. Lauren doesn’t hesitate in shrugging off her lettermen and draping it over Camila’s shoulders. “Wait, no I was kidding kind of. You can’t give me this you’re gonna get cold and plus everyone is going to see-“
“I’m not gonna need it during the routine,” Lauren reassures in that same soft tone. “And you’re my girlfriend now. Let everyone see.”
Oh god, did that really come out of my mouth? That stupid cheesey dumb good for nothing line that’ll probably make Camz totally cringe. that’s it I’m becoming a Satanist –
But then she looks at Camila and she’s is staring right back at her with an expression Lauren can’t quite put her finger on. But it easily becomes one of her favorites.
She doesn’t get a chance to speak because Camila is pulling her face down for another long, deep kiss. Their lips move at a heated pace. Lauren can feel the message conveyed in the very contours of Camila’s mouth.
I love you.
It’s not time yet. It’s too soon.
But eventually.
.
.
.
Ally bundles up in her letterman, standing next to Normani on the track field. The noise of chatter from the onlookers on the bleachers is a comforting sound, setting in her cold body pleasantly. Her eyes glance towards the football field, watching her boyfriend Troy in his gear, stretching by the bench, before running out into the field to replace another player. It’s the last game of the season and the excitement is tangible.
“Any sign of Lauren? The quarter is about to end. We already be preparing for the routine,” Normani complains.
As if on cue, the head cheerleader runs on to the field hurriedly, looking much too flushed for this cold weather.
“Hey,” Lauren greets, unevenly, making Ally and Normani exchange a furtive look. Lauren catches this. “What?”
“You’re all red,” Ally supplies, rather sheepishly because thinking of Lauren doing whatever she was doing (or who she was doing, rather), isn’t something she wants to picture.
“And you’re …flustered.” Normani smirks.
“Where’s your jacket?” Ally adds.
Finally Lauren snaps. “What is with the third degree? Jesus, I’m here aren’t I? You know what just get into formation.”
Both Ally and Normani resist the urge to laugh at the blushing girl.
Ally doesn’t have the heart to tease her further. Instead, she follows Lauren’s lead, falling into place with the rest of the cheerleaders.
However, as the routine progresses, Ally can’t help but notice something –someone – emerging from the very same double doors their head cheerleader had burst from just moments ago. Out comes a very flustered, but very happy soccer player, wearing a very familiar letterman jacket. And if Ally hadn’t noticed Lauren’s obvious shivering, the fact that Jauregui was engraved across the back in gold letters was telling enough.
Ally watches as Camila practically skips up towards the bleachers to sit beside Dinah, looking absurdly pleased with herself. The sight brings a silly grin to Ally’s face.
She glances over to Lauren who is too busy staring down at her shoes. But Ally notices the distinct pink tinge to her cheeks.
Her attention shifts to Normani and sees that she, too, notices Camila’s sudden wardrobe change. Normani smirks. But both remained tightlipped.
Once halftime is over, Ally watches as Lauren scurries back through the double doors leading to the locker rooms. She doesn’t even wait to have a quick debriefing of their routine, which Ally finds almost irresponsible. Well, she’ll talk to her about that later. It’s not like she doesn’t know what’s got Lauren all flouncy. Or who.
As if to further demonstrate this, Dinah approaches Ally and Normani down from the bleachers with a smug expression on her face.
“I see Laurenzo isn’t with you.”
Normani glances over Dinah’s shoulder.
“Neither is Camila,” Normani states, a matching smirk growing on her face.
They all sort of giggle at their observation.
Camila and Lauren were not discreet at all. Whatever secret they think they had was about as subtle as a neon sign. A blinking one. With dancing interchangeable lights. And fireworks lighting up in the background.
If all of the times Ally’s caught Lauren waiting by Camila’s locker weren’t an obvious indication. It’s probably the hickeys she’s absently seen as Lauren tries to hastily change into her uniform for practice. Or the nights she’s caught Lauren wearing what looked like one of Camila’s jerseys during sleepovers. Or the flowers Camila swears were from her father the days leading up to the game, (even though Ally distinctly remembers her father never buying flowers because of his allergies).
Not that she confronted them about it. At least not directly.
A little teasing maybe. Something that both of her snickering friends could agree with and had wholeheartedly participated in.
But no. No. She’s definitely learned her lesson about meddling…at least until that potential future wedding she’s begun making plans for comes into play.
Which, in that case, Operation Camren 2.0 is definitely a go.
.
.
A/N: happy 2018 !
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kingsofeverything · 8 years
Note
40-48 on ur most recent fic
FIC ASKS! ASK AWAY!
I’m not sure if you mean 40 through 48 or 40 and 48, so I’m just going to answer them all because @allwaswell16 asked for 45 & 46, so I’ll put it all here. 
My most recent published fic is Mercedes Boy.
40. which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series
Hmm… all of these questions are so good. I think, probably, Fall At My Door. 
41. one song that captures (insert story title)
Well, Mercedes Boy was inspired by the Pebbles song by the same name.
youtube
I’m not sure why, but I want to answer for Fall At My Door too. The title comes from the song Down to Zero by Joan Armatrading, which is one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists.
youtube
42. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?
Mostly I just write what comes to mind. That’s how I did everything I’ve got on AO3. I planned my Big Bang / NaNoWriMo fic though. I had to. It needed to be 50K for NaNoWriMo and the word count alone scared me. I outlined it, but even still, not very heavily. It was mostly just plot points, certain things I knew needed to happen at certain points in the story in order to get to 50K. It’s quite convenient though. I’m doing a When Harry Met Sally AU now and having the outline of the movie to work from is making it super easy to write, even though I’m trying to make it my own and not have it be just like the movie script.
I think that if I planned to write anything longer than 30K, I’d probably outline it. 
43. would you ever write a sequel for (insert fic title here)
Mercedes Boy, yes. I am planning to write another little one-shot as a follow up.
Fall At My Door, maybe. I’d sort of like to do something with a red carpet, maybe they return to the AMAs and fuck in the bathroom again lol
44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?
Both, but mostly linear. One thing that I do in almost every fic, is write dialogue and come back later to fill in the…… emotions and actions that go with it. I’ll get a conversation going between characters in my head, and I have to get it down ASAP. Then I’ll highlight it in my doc and leave myself a note to read over it and fill in around it later. My notes say “fill” lol 
45. share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet
Hmm… well, the When Harry Met Sally AU is pretty self-explanatory, if you’ve seen the movie. Two of the other fics I haven’t published are for Big Bang and the HP/1D exchange. And I have two more that are basically PWP.
47. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?
Right now, it’s 7. But 2 of those are “finished” but being beta read or Brit picked, and 2 of those don’t have a single word written, they just exist in my head, even though I’ve started docs for them with like…. one line ideas. One of those is actually a really, really big project that I’m planning to do, probably after I finish most of the rest of my WIPs. Oh, and one is a fic that is sad and makes me sad and I haven’t written on it since early December.
48. three spoilers for (insert story title)
Uhhhh… I can’t spoil my 2 fics that are close to being published, and I can’t really spoil WHMS because it’s a movie. Soooo…. I don’t have any, sorry!
46. share a scene of a story that you haven’t published yet
Be aware that all of my shit is MESSY right now. So not only is this not beta read, it isn’t even Lauren read. As in, there could be typos and all sorts of errors. Also, this is difficult because I had to find a scene that didn’t have blank spots, like METYPINGLIKETHISBECAUSEIDKWHATTOCALLACHARACTER lol
Scene under the cut because it’s like 800+ words
“I’m not coming over.” Louis croaked through the phone.
“What? Why?” Harry whined. He couldn’t help it; he was hungry and had been waiting patiently for his almond croissants.
“Can’t move. Too hungover. Think I might be dead, actually.” Louis actually sounded pretty awful and Harry was actually starting to feel sympathetic. “Yep. Dead. Calling you from the great beyond,” he finished in a spooky whisper.
“Even when you’re dead, you’re annoying.” Harry sighed and got up from his bed to look for socks and shoes. “I’ll be over in a bit. Make coffee and I’ll bring food.”
Harry found his sneakers and wiggled his feet into them, not bothering to tie the laces. One of Louis’ beanies hung on the back of Harry’s door, so he pulled it over his damp hair, grabbed his coat and looked in the mirror and considered changing into jeans and a sweater. No. He already felt like shit, why not look like it too? He tiptoed through the hall, since Liam was asleep in his room, and left him a note asking him to call or text if he was up for dinner. Harry shoved his sunglasses on his face and stuffed his wallet and keys into his coat pocket. 
It took four buzzes to Louis’ apartment before the door to his building opened for him, and by that time Harry was ready to throw out all of the plain croissants that he’d made sure were very fresh, just for Louis, before buying them. The walk had helped ease his headache a little, but the annoyance of waiting so long for Louis to buzz him up had brought the headache back, so Harry kept his sunglasses on while he trudged up the stairs. When he got to Louis’ door, it was open a crack; he knocked lightly and pushed it, but it caught on something.
“Hi.” Louis’ voice came from right behind the door. He sounded like shit. “Hold on.”
There was a pitiful groan and a shuffling sound and the door swung open to reveal Louis, sprawled on the floor on his stomach, wearing nothing but his underwear. At least Harry could smell coffee, so Louis wasn’t completely useless today. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” Harry nudged Louis’ ribs with the toe of his sneaker, then stepped over him to take the bakery box to the kitchen.
“I told you. I died.” Louis moaned and then rolled over onto his back, draping one arm dramatically over his eyes. “I crawled out here to buzz you in. Niall made coffee before he left.”
“Okay, well, you’re practically naked, so if you’re planning to stay there, I’m going to cover you with a sheet. You know, like at the morgue.” Harry pulled down his favorite rainbow mug and Louis’ regular mug, the one that he pretended to hate, the one with the roosters all over it. Harry had bought it at a second-hand store, highly amused by the idea of Louis drinking from a coffee cup covered in cocks. By the time he’d fixed their coffee and carried the cups into the living room, Louis had miraculously recovered enough to wrap a blanket around his waist and move to the couch.
Harry tried not to be endeared, but Louis was really adorable when he was grumpy, hungover, and quiet. His hair was a complete mess, it stuck straight up on one side and in the back, and there were little specks of dirt clinging to his cheek where he’d been lying with his face on the floor. When he felt like shit, he tended to curl up and make himself as small as possible, hunching over and bending his knees to wrap his arms around himself. Harry found his eyes lingering on the scrunching of Louis’ abs and quickly looked away. Whoa. That was weird. Harry reached for his coffee and took a sip, giving himself the chance to collect his thoughts. Louis was objectively attractive, gorgeous really, it was perfectly acceptable to look at him, especially when he was mostly naked. Still, Harry decided to go find Louis some clothes.
He returned from Louis’ bedroom with a pair of basketball shorts and an old Chicago Bulls sweatshirt. “Put these on. It’s cold.”
Louis grumbled, but accepted the bundle of clothes, tugged the sweatshirt over his head, then pulled the shorts on, somehow getting completely dressed without moving from his spot on the couch or unwrapping his blanket. He curled back up and stretched his arm out, not actually trying to reach for his coffee, but whining until Harry picked it up and handed it to him.
“I think I might actually not be dead.” Louis gently rested his head on the back of the couch, then turned to face Harry. “That’s my hoodie.”
“Yeah, but you left it at my place, so it’s mine now.” Harry pulled the hood over his beanie and yanked on the corner of Louis’ blanket until he let Harry unwrap it. They stretched out on the couch, head to foot, covered in an old, fleece, University of Chicago blanket, and settled in to watch football for the rest of the day.
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