unable to let go
something something both of these fuckers have spent so long depending on each other that they cant function w/o the other guy despite Tashi's continously worsening mental state and unhealthy clinginess and Soup's desire to explore the world and meet new people...
like the thing about soup is that she had never really been a person who does well stuck in one place for too long, but also tashi is her brother. theyve been through hell and back together and she feels immense guilt for even considering having a life outside of their little family, and also she has NOT worked through her gladiator trauma AT ALL and has been just holding everything in and trying to be a perfect caring figure despite all the anger and frustration she experiences on a daily basis...
(tashi is dealing with that too, but hes never been as good as her at hiding it, and also he has the tendency to make this stuff everyones problem - thus sidelining soups problems by accident. i think soup is kind of what tashi desperately WANTS to be, in a way. on the outside shes the 'stoic selfless caregiver' and i think tashi is jealous of that, so much so that he sometimes forgets that soup is just as much a person with her own problems and desires and flaws as everyone else)
soup is frustrated by how shes been having to take more and more responsibilities as time goes on (bc of tashis Whole Thing and buddys fear of assuming any kind of leadership position) and a part of her loathes this life and she wants to leave. i think her and zoras relationship plays a big role in her feeling on the matter bc shes NOT part of the family, shes someone new and diffrent and thats enticing... also over the years soup had built up this calm easygoing persona that zora can see through, zora is very aware of soups violent past and she is not sfraid of it, giving soup a safe space to express those more negative feelings freely for the first time in YEARS
Its very hand in unlovable hand coded but they very much love each other still and thats kinda the problem
Also putting some notes on their younger selves here bc this feels relevant to how these two ended up
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don’t be fooled by my undying love for kara danvers, i hated like, half of the decisions the writers made regarding the show’s lore. i find kara to be one for the few characters who actually got better as the show progressed (which is how character development works). she started out more shy and grew into a confident, capable and a well-respected woman. she made some real change and helped a lot of people outside of her superhero suit. the show had a great balance between kara danvers and supergirl. my love is for her story and character development, and her story and character development only. oh, and alex and j’onn! they were pretty neat too!
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@stevebabey’s steve x reader fics are the only ones I can read fr bc so many people mischaracterize steve and make him into this weird over-sexualized dude who is quite frankly so bad at dirty talking and is just hypermasculine and icky whereas ruby always makes steve into this caring, quick-witted, versatile character that feels v akin to steve’s real personality and feels much more organic
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Nearly done with this reread of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, and I had forgotten how much Snow like... actually did love Sejanus? He whines about him a lot in the first half of the book but like... he does really stick his neck out for him a LOT. And even hugs Sejanus when they meet again in District 12! Once they’re peacekeepers together, Snow’s thinking of him shifts from being annoying to being a friend, at least until Sejanus starts hanging out with the rebels. And even then, Snow is extremely conflicted about his decision to record him with the jabber jay; it’s more an instant of panicked self protection then I remembered. He’s definitely burying his head in the sand about the ramifications of what he did right up until Sejanus is arrested (Snow convinces himself that Sejanus’s father will swoop in and save him again, but like come on dude. Definitely just not wanting to accept that his actions will result in Sejanus’s execution) And then later he refers to Lucy Gray as something along the lines of “the only person left he loves”.
Don’t get me wrong, Snow is absolutely 100% at fault for snitching on Sejanus; he just did what he does throughout the entire book. He chooses to save himself at the expense of other people and this the penultimate moment of that that’s been building the entire time. But it really did strike how much he actually cared about Sejanus in this read through. Not that it saved him in the end, but the love was there.
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what do you think of my new thingy. his working name is ascalon after the dd1 holy aspect sword but also irl it was the sword used by st. george (like grigori haha) to kill the dragon and if this is a pawn you could also say it's a Sword or weapon of some sort utilized to kill a dragon. but now that makes me want to work on my grigori arisen AU and name HIS pawn ascalon. so it could actually be wielded by st. george. so i'll probably change his name actually.... he's kind of a turd. he's gotten some bestowal of spirit and also was made in the image of a guy who is a little off the shits anyway so he's got a Very strong personality.... he can't see well out of the eye with the scar but he can still see a bit. a fighter who takes pride in his fancy moves. sarcastic and a bit sadistic. annoying. likes luxury and power. tenanye has probably kicked him in the nuts before but this is why she's the only one who can handle him.... he probably reminds her of julien which does annoy her but she's gotten a much thicker skin and unfortunately finds herself still gravitating towards this type of person LOL. but he likes it when she gets mean and u know. she still has a lot of frustration with julien to take out so they're like symbiotic.
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my brother said he would co sign for me. ok guys should i go for the $1000/mo room with the overly talkative music teacher and two other women or the random guy who may have been flirting with me's room for $700. or should i hold off on choices until i hear back from option 3 which i think is also $1000 and more private and much better commute but would not allow any pets and idk what her application process and requirements are like when i think i've got a good chance with the other ones.
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