#also i dont reeeeally remember what happened but i remember passing out!

[soggypotatoes]

ugh ok so like

I dissociate a lot, have my whole life, but a few days ago I experienced a complete switch over for the first time and it's still ongoing

like. I had therapy that day and I walked in and was like. acting very normal, because I can do that, and she pretty quickly asked '...have we met before?' and I've seen her every day since then so we're trying to work it out

I honestly thought at first that I'd died and been reincarnated into a living body by accident... but after seeing her a few times and trying to figure out who I am I see what's happening. it was scary but I'm adapting. I don't think this will last much longer. apparently something extremely triggering happened on Sunday and I actually passed out and woke up like this. I'm ok though. this is happening to keep me ok. like I'm totally fine, not really stressed about things, except for the fact that I'm dealing with a lot of fatigue.

still not sure who I am or why this is happening. but there ya go.

✌️

[readbythestarlight]

c2e92

Sam you look so normal

Oh dear

SAM

SAM NO

Ashley is a woman after my own taste with those flaming hot Cheetos

NO GOD SAM NO NOT THE TOOTHPASTE

Liam is like "my husband? Better!"

Matt is so done xD

[[MORE]]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’d love to have Nolan North or Troy Baker guest star

OHHHHH SICK BURNS FROM MATT TONIGHT

Oh I hope Nott doesn’t blame Caleb or think he just wasn’t good enough...

Travis: low key bursts into song

Matt: the DM will remember that

Aww bye Essek

E: "I will punish the bakery"

J: "don’t PUNISH the BAKERY just order better things next time!"

E: "that was an attempt at a joke."

I hope he knows they’re not bailing on him for any reason

It’s THEIR spell that’s so nice

Beau’s dad’s obsession with the fortune teller could explain Beau’s reluctance to buy into the tarot cards hmmm

Everyone: wildly talking

Cad: I’m just gonna ask mom

He asked about his FAMILY

Oh no he HIT her?

I suddenly don’t regret Jester terrifying him at all

There’s so much happening right now, Nott backstory, Beau backstory, some Cad backstory and I’m so torn about who’s I want to get to most

I reeeeally don’t want them to rush Beau into this though

Y’all let Essek know you’re leaving!

I like how Jester and Nott and maybe sorta Beau kinda low key ship Shadowgast now

Matt: here’s a bunch of hermits

Cad: these are my people!

Oh god oh no I don’t like this woman she seems creepy as fuck

These poor monks

Oh come on go to the karaoke bar

Y: "do you have a song you always sing?"

N: "sweet Caroline.........it’s in abyssal!"

And then she "sings" it xD

Poor Matt is it his wits end xD

Cad is now drunk and high and trying to pretend to be Fjord

I like how eldritch blast is an in-game meme

Hiiiii Gentledad!

I love how he was all like "I’m not gonna be your dad" but she also has him wrapped around her little finger

Beau! Honey! Don’t cry! D:

B: "I feel like I’ve found my family with the Mighty Nein, I don’t like looking at my past because it doesn’t have the Mighty Nein in it. I’ve been avoiding the inevitable because... I’m afraid it’ll end up like my past." I’m crying

Fjord is so goddamn supportive

She’s so scared she’s going to lose them and what she’s found with them and my heart is BREAKING for her she needs a group hug immediately

"You’re still my Captain" god DAMN I love the friendship between Fjord and Beau

Aww, it makes me sad that they don’t quite trust Essek. I understand but it makes me sad for his sake (and also now that I’ve decided to trust him completely)

That was the best Super Bowl commercial of the year 10/10

Jester honey you’re gonna tick him off

J: "she is not that great."

TG: "well... you don’t know her."

Oh my god do NOT send your mom a letter do NOT parent trap them

Oh man it’s been a while since we had some good Jester and Nott antics

Oh god please pass each other

They DID xD

OH MY GOD

ITS THE PANTSLESS BANDITS

ITS

I CANT

BREATHE

these poor losers I’m

Yasha and Caleb having a talk.

Oh she asked him how he deals with it.

C: "I know regret, and I regret..... unless my intuition is very off, you know regret."

Y: "so it never goes away?"

C: "No..."

Oh honey </3

Y: "I feel like the forgiveness is almost harder to deal with. I feel like anger is an emotion that’s easier to deal with because that’s where I live. But I feel like with everyone being so nice and accepting I don’t know how to handle it. I know I’m not handling it well but I’m trying."

And now he’s talking about how even if they can’t wash the blood from their hands they can still use those hands to try to do good, and to do all they can to make the world better and not let the guilt consume them and you know what that is? GROWTH.

Somebody please teach them though that they can be forgiven

Y: "do you love her?"

C: "who?"

Y: "I don’t need to tell you who."

Y: "I’m sorry, it’s just that, I know, as someone who has lost someone, it’s important to say something before it is too late."

C, whispering: "it is too late, Yasha..."

And then he turns away but holds her hand

Goddamn I’m crying

Oh boy here we go Beau’s family time

I love how they are all ready to spite or fight Beau’s family in their own way

Please hug your daughter Mother Lionette

Not like that god a good hug

Baby brother ;_;

I hate how stiff her mom is THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU HAVENT SEEN IN LIKE THREE YEARS

oh god I’m gonna have feelings about her and her little brother

Oh Beau honey </3

"We were hoping you would come by sometime. To meet him." You could have ASKED.

Mom not answering about whether or not they sent Beau away knowing mom was pregnant

Omg she just gave him the jade she just admitted was the only thing she kept from her dad

"Look, Beauregard" don’t you even try it you bad mom you DONT you try to make excuses

Oh fuck here we go it’s time to meet asshole dad

Godddd I hate him

Whisperssssss

B: "I’d like to think that what I became had nothing to fucking do with you" TELL HIM BABY GIRL

Rip into him

God Marisha is killing it and killing me

I refuse to accept his "nobody teaches you how to be a father" excuses and I hope Beau doesn’t either

Like I’m often all here for reconciling with family or whatever but they’ve clearly hurt Beau so badly and she has a better family now

I’m so frustrated with the whole crappy family, but whatever makes Beau happy in the end is what I want

Wow that was some.... heavy stuff and I’m exhausted and it’s not even me I can only imagine how Marisha feels having to act it all out

NOTT that was Amazing "I hope that doesn’t happen to you" damn

Every one of them is telling Thoreau to stop being a shitty dad or else Kinda calling him out on his shit and I’m living for it

Ending on a group hug

God what an episode

They are killing it lately with these hardcore character heavy, emotion heavy episodes

lol Matt joking about having to play his wife’s IG dad xD