#also im saying 2018 bc im still gonna b like this in like 5 days

[tealfruit]

I like to make fun of myself for harmless stuff bc it doesn't hurt me and I fucking own it like for example I'm a huge fucking nerd? Yes I'm 22 and still love pokemon bitch!!!! Dungeons n dragons?? SIGN ME UP!!!! Undertale? In my 2018?? ITS MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!! My music taste? Fuck yeah I still listen to MCR in 2018!!! I unironically love "I Miss You" by blink 182 bc it fucking sounds good and I'm emo as hell!!! I think Coldplay is a decent band!!!!! Cringe culture is for pussies!!!!!!!

[digital999placebo]

what are your favorite movies? 😼🫵

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE….. right so I used 2 b somewhat of a movie buff so im gonna give u my top 10 movies that I think YOU should watch:

1. Das Boot /english title: The Boat (full version from 1981, no 2018 pussy bullshit) dir. Wolfgang Petersen it is the movie ever. I have the book in german and english and i have like 4 posters for it, it is that good

2. Farewell my Concubine (1993) dir. Chen Kaige Das Boot n this have shared number 1 spot. There’s all kinds of child abuse in the first hour of the film, so look that up if that’s anything ur uncomfortable with, but this movie is so beautiful i think everyone needs to see it. It was the first movie I saw with Leslie Cheung and he’s amazing <3<3<3<3<3

3. The Lighthouse (2019) dir. Robert Eggers

4. I Kina spiser de hunde /english title: In China They Eat Dogs (1999) dir. Lasse Spang Olsen One of the funniest movies out there. About a shy banker whose girlfriend breaks up with him and takes all his furniture, and the next day his bank gets robbed, but he manages to stop it. Later the robber’s girlfriend comes to his apartment and beats him, claiming that she and her bf were gonna use that money to adopt since she can’t get pregnant. The banker decides to contact his half-criminal brother to rob a cargo so that the girlfriend can get the money.

5. “Pusher” trilogy (Pusher, Pusher II: With Blood on My Hands, Pusher III: I’m the Angel of Death) (1996) dir. Nicolas Winding Refn you knew this was gonna b up here. Personally I love the second one the most bc it’s interlaced with this heavy melancholia.

6. La Haine (1995) dir. Mathieu Kassovitz

7. The Florida Project (2017) dir. Sean Baker From the genius behind “Tangerine”. top 10 movies that always makes me cry

8. Dom Kallar Oss Mods /english title: “They call us Misfits” trilogy (They Call Us Misfits, A Respectable Life, The Social Heritage) (1968, 1979, 1993) dir. Stefan Jarl Fuck Boyhood. Jarl made a documentary in three parts, the first one filmed in the late 60s, following two boys living in Stockholm, the last documentary even follows the boys’ sons as they’re growing up in a world that is completely distant from their fathers’. It’s perfect, it’s a cult classic, I can’t explain how beautiful it is, depicting how fast n how much society n culture in Sweden changed during the 70/80s, before n after r like 2 seperate worlds. also its just sad man.........

9. 15: The Movie (2003) dir. Royston Tan It’s a black comedy that’s v well executed. I haven’t watched it in years, but I still remember scenes vivdly like the main characters’ chant and a gangster boss sending two guys on a mission to find the best building in Singapore to committ suicide from. 

10. Les Amants du Pont-Neuf /english title: The Lovers on a Bridge (1991) dir. Leos Carax Juliette Binoche is one of the leads, that should be all you need, she is a fantastic actress. 

EXTRA. Christiane F. (also known as Wir Kinder Vom Bahnhof Zoo) (again 1981 is the year, not the remake, i havent seen the remake yet so i cant say if its good/bad) dir. Uli Edel This movie made me romanticise drugs n move to Berlin on my own at 16 so yeah. 

[etherealino]

works of 2020.

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! chose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other’s awesome works!

tagged by: @chaninfused and @missinghan thank u my loves. ♥️

tagging: @lavenderlattaes @wooyukh @vamchanstopher @unsaidhj @maaneskin @nightshade-minho @ anyone else who wants to,, i lack in friends here im so sorry SJSJSJSJSJSJ

im not sure if i’ve written a lot buuut sjsjsjs there are some fics that im rlly proud of like rlly proud even though i sometimes take 9 months to finish it bcs honestly some prompts are still from 2018. anyway,,,

1. too early but not enough // l. minho

i’m not gonna lie. im not proud w the title but it took me months to go with one. but i’ve created this one simply with the prompt “well, you’re early.” and everything just came crashing to me. it was just supposed to be a blurb, really until i lay down my bed and was like ‘shit. well.’ i’ve had the idea since may, been working on it since may and only finished the day before minho’s birthday lmao. i’m in love with reincarnated aus and yeah djshdbfjh well u see what i did there. also, i saw a lot say it reminded them of the kdramas black, goblin and hotel del luna and ngl, goblin is the only one that i’ve watched. i just seriously love this one and it is my fave so far in my works. KJFHBDFJ and this is my most hyped one,, i think,, but it received a lot of positive feedbacks aND GRRR THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU

2. kisses // l. minho

yeah. another minho. i dont know how i came up with this. i just did. i forgot how !! maybe bcs my friends would leave me kisses either on the top of my head or on my cheek when we see or say bye to each other. and i just melted into puddles when i thought of minho doing it. oh there we go i remembered. but yes !! i worked on this for 9 months HAHAHHA,, i reMEMBER WAKING UP AT 3 AM TO BE ABLE TO POST THIS BCS MY WIFI WAS SHITTY AROUND THAT TIME AND THEN TUMBLR WOULDNT LET ME POST AND THEN FURAT ASKED ME WHAT HAPPENED IDK WHY IM SCREAMING BUT IM JUST LAUGHING SO HARD,, this is actually my first full length fic and i kept rereading the last part bcs idk i love how i wrote this one djdhjdj

3. mixtape: on track // s. changbin

i’ve had this idea since 2018 and didnt stan skz yet. it was simply bcs of song request by lee sora ft yoongi and another filipino song that my best friend and i always clown (hi babi lmao) bcs it’s basically requesting a song bcs they’re heartbroken. anyway, i’ve almost written this for kyungsoo from exo, i used to have a side blog but idk where that went,, thankfully i was too lazy to write it and then two years later, skz releases on track and i remembered the plot i had in my head about radio thingy and it was just simply perfect for binnie bcs he wrote it. and i’m really glad i never wrote it before and that i got to write it for binnie.

4. three times you show him you love him and the one time you actually said it // b. chan

yup, i just posted that HAHAHAHA but the thing about it is the last part. idk, i saw it in ig and i loved it. so here we are. i think i should’ve named it saturn instead or something. 

5. soft unplanned kisses // ot8

i wrote this in one seating and i’m proud HAHDHFHAH also, i just think that unplanned kisses are the most meaningful kisses.

that’s it. that’s my top 5 and i just wanted to say that thank you for reading my works even though i’m not proud of most of it. but still thank you. i love you!  stay safe, doll. <3

[ruiyuki-archives]

bnha + tdmm gundam AU

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Heavily inspired by Gundam SEED/Destiny

Original transcript posted to tdmm discord: Aug 2018

BNHA MECHA/MILITARY/GUNDAM AU??? FT. TDMM + OTHERS.

JUST HEAR ME OUT OK:

idk when this is set but some sci-fi au where earth is at war w some enemy people and the military uses mechs

U.A. aka United Alliance is the military organization in charge of Earth's mechs

decades ago for idk.. WW III or something, pilots enlisted in U.A. piloting giant mechs (aka H.E.R.O.S. - “high efficiency robotic operating systems”) became protectors of citizens?? some shit like that.

the top pilots made a name for themselves were namely Toshinori Yagi piloting the TPHR-ALL MIGHT at #1 and #2 Todoroki Enji piloting the FLHR-ENDEAVOR

(Bonus: TPHR for "The People's HERO" and FLHR for, you guessed it, "Flame HERO" woooo)

but during the final mecha fight that subsequently ended WW III, Toshinori Yagi was declared MIA bc his mech crash landed on some coastal shore and by the time they found ALL MIGHT, the cockpit was empty and the pilot was gone

anyway fast forward >> U.A. has a cadet school and low and behold who do we find enrolled,,, aspiring young pilots Midoriya Izuku and Bakugou Katsuki

they both heard the heroic stories of pilot Toshinori and ALL MIGHT and woooo got into U.A.

also in U.A. ofc is Todoroki Shouto whos been groomed to be a mecha pilot since age 5 courtesy of Enji. D u h. (Enji's still piloting ENDEAVOR at this time but has it pretty set that Shouto will inherit piloting his mech)

aaand ofc we get the rest of class 1A in U.A. cadet school for various reasons

ANYWAY im not going into cadet school days bc thats boring but lets say ofc top of the class pilots are Izuku Bakugou and Todoroki that aces all the flight simulations blah blah blah

Also Toshinori was found to be declared MIA to the public but actually whoop. He's at U.A. as one of the boardmembers bc ofc that’s how im making the story work. Idk he was too injured and has too much ptsd that he cant pilot anymore and is looking for the next pilot to inherit ALL MIGHT (which is fixed up by now)

NOW INTO THE ACTUAL MEAT OF THE STORY - NEW WAR (WW4? I GUESS)

CADET KIDS ARE NO LONGER CADETS. THEYRE FULL FLEDGED PILOTS NOW AND ARE THROWN INTO THE NEXT WAR BC THAT WAS PART OF WHAT THEY SIGNED UP FOR. Whos the enemy? LoV ofc but i dont have a cool name for them yet LMAOOOO

K SO new war. New battle cruisers. New mechs yayayya

U.A. has 2 new battle cruisers: Sirius A and Sirius B, designated (1-A and 1-B DUH)and duh, the crew of 1-A and 1-B is gonna be classes respectively

1-A, Aizawa is captain of the ship LMAOOOO Momo's the crew's battle analyst on comms + nav, Iida takes the helm, idk whos gonna be on weaponry yet but I kinda wanna make it Tokoyami

Izuku Bakugou and Todoroki are mecha pilots ofc

they have custom made mechs that were made for them for mostly training so the models are pretty basic compared to ALL MIGHT and ENDEAVOR but eh they do the job.

I'm doing the hero name thing again so Izuku pilots OAHR-DEKU, Todo pilots HCHR-SHOUTO and Bakugou pilots.... EXHR-K.E.KILL

bc they’re custom they got to name the mechs so friggin Bakugou. I tried LMAO (if someone can guess the acronyms, bonus points)

also hey! they have a squadron of fighter jet pilots and hey! Its the Bakusquad!!!

each of the fighters have their own names too so you guessed it, their hero namessss ha..ha..ha..ha..

OKAY more people: Hatsume Mei's their engineer. She basically built the mechs and works under Powerloader that built the cruiser ships

Gran Torino built the fighter jets lol

uhh Tsuyu's probably the crew's nurse in the infirmary or smth. Chiyo is the head military doctor back at the U.A. base??? idk

Nedzu head of U.A. Self explanatory.

Fuyumi and Natsuo are there too!!! Fuyumi's part of the cadet teaching staff. Natsuo's a fighter pilot of another fleet

Anyway, TODOMOMO IN THIS AU

they met in cadet training. Momo was working towards being an analyst anyway so naturally they paired up for training exercises as comm + pilot top of the class. Aizawa's first choices when choosing who to enlist in for the 1-A crew

every time Shouto deploys for a fight Momo's hypervigilant in keeping tabs on him in the air bc honestly the worst is seeing a laserbeam aiming for his mech's cockpit

I mean she keeps tabs on Deku and Bakugou too but. y’know she has a bias loool

and god forbid if anything were to happen to Shouto bc the worse would be for him to be MIA or KIA bc this is a war. People lose their lives. She knows its what they signed up for but if she can help him avoid it, she will

but sometimes it cant be helped. Especially since she’s navigating for the other pilots and the ship

it doesn’t help that Shouto's kinda reckless in his mech fights when they get too intense. sometimes he'll ignore his comms all together and when he does that half the time he comes out of his cockpit injured bc nuclear explosions. Recoil. Life threatening occupational hazard. D u h

Momo's basically crying by his bedside in the infirmary every time that happens

and THE ONE INSTANCE WHERE HE IS OFFICIALLY DECLARED MIA, Momo loses it

bc its his fight against the enemy mech CRHR-DABI. Its in the midst of the enemy's unexpected assault. and the 1A and 1B are taking heavy fire. So she has to focus on Aizawa's orders. and Shouto is getting out range that she cant keep tabs on him. and he's ignoring her comms. so by the end of it, by the time the enemy ships and mechs retreat, HCHR-SHOUTO is g o n e

the dust clears up. Its raining. The fighting's stopped. All of the enemy forces has retreated so U.A. calls their pilots to retreat

2 of their 3 mechs have returned to the ship except for SHOUTO. And Momo's frantically trying to get through to him. But nothing.

Aizawa orders her to stop trying. they'll send out a search team to investigate his last known location after everyone rests. Repairs to 1A and the mechs need to be made. They have to make haste, but for now, rest.

all the logistical post-battle crap is cared for first. Status reports, repair agenda, the next battle plan. The search team is sent out.

nothing.

they keep looking.

nothing for days.

keep looking.

they find it. HCHR-SHOUTO in a lake torn to shambles. The cockpit cut open. Blood stains trail out toward the forest it crashed in but no pilot nearby. (Bc hell ya im gonna recycle tropes loool)

Todoroki Shouto declared missing in action.

Momo gets the update and she’s devastated

but theres no time to mourn. A second enemy attack.

the Orion fleet is called in. ENDEAVOR's fleet.

and there he is. that mech. CRHR-DABI. again.

DABI VS ENDEAVOR wooooooooooooo

but this time its nearby the city. Civilians need to be evacuated. WGHR-HAWKS assists in protecting the city as much as possible.

but yup ENDEAVOR gets destroyed too. Enji comes out of his cockpit in critical condition. and the enemy retreats again.

more aftermath. More repairing, more strategies, more recovering the injured. Its a war after all.

U.A. works on building a new mech. ENDEAVOR #2. But Enji has to officially retire from piloting due to his head injury.

and his successor is missing.

there is no pilot.

that is until Shouto shows up again!!!!

he has new scar on the left side of his face.

he saw ENDEAVOR's fight.

he’s alive. He��s come back. And he's out to take down DABI.and you bet he made his dramatic reappearance like:

Aizawa, at a battle meeting with Momo, Nedzu, Toshinori and other UA officials: "Tell me Nedzu. what choices do we have? Enji is compromised. His successor is missing. We're out of pilots. Who’s going to pilot the second ENDEAVOR?"

Todo, walking casually through the door: "I will."

After thoughts:

hi yes pls imagine all the pilots in skin tight pilot suits and helmets bc HAHAHHAA NGL THAT WAS THE 5% MOTIVATION OF ME COMING UP WITH THIS AU 👀

also momo in a military uniform 👀

the mechs look like their hero uniforms. OAHR-DEKU is green & white in colour. EXHR-K.E.KILL is black & orange. HCHR-SHOUTO is red blue silver.

TPHR-ALL MIGHT is gold & royal blue. FLHR-ENDEAVOR is blue red and orange.

CRHR-DABI is grey and purple and is piloted by Touya who else would it be

the fleet that i said Natsuo was a part of is the Orion fleet.. Enji's fleet

now that I think about it, Aoyama is probably the designer behind the pilot suits

Shouto names the 2nd ENDEAVOR mech HCHR-REI after his mom

his mom is a civilian and is very much alive kthx Im not pulling some EVA shit here ok

> bonus tdmm mecha NSFW

> archives masterpost

[sophocused]

pursuits of 2019 | a 3am ramble

Hi hi don't mind me as I ramble about all the ideas I have floating about my head bc it's the new year and I'm really excited.

tbh actually I think 2019 is the year I wear my clothes that actually show the shape of my body, idk I think, I've been expressing myself well with the colourful clothes, I think a lot of friends associate colourfulness with me now, which is fucking bomb. I dont even remember the days I would wear all black, or all toned down shades. But yeah for 2019, I wanna wear more non-baggy clothing, colourful just the same... I'll probably treat myself to a lil shopping spree sometime late February or mid-March. Ooo or I'll go thrifting againnn sometime then.

As for school that's coming back, thanks to friends I think the textbooks they provided me saves me $250 of textbook money, and I also switched out one of the 2000 psyc courses for anth1210 which I've been told is super easy so I'm gna work hard to get an A+. I also got psyc 2490 which is a more intermediate elective bc ik essays are involved but I really fucking interested in abnormal psychology. Maybe I can learn something about myself. learn how to help others better. how to help myself better. It's an both electives are online courses so oof I need to FOCUS. Dont get sucked into procrastination temptations and also I need to be frequent in talking to and or meeting up with the profs. I just wanna be more involved for once. I wanna show that i care about the course and not just the number being served up to me on my transcript. Bc that's really important to me in order for me to stay trying and giving a fuck about school. I need to see value in what I'm learning. It's not just a way to my degree. It's not just some stepping stone. The content is worth something to me.

So for winter term, I'm probably going to finally learn how to study in public alone. I'll be able to find more spaces too bc I no longer need places with an outlet bc my parents got me a notebook for Christmas that lasts over 10 hours so FUCK YEA it's so light I'm so happy. My back is so happy holy shit. It's going to add LEAGUES of convenience in my day-to-day uni life tbh. Taking it out during class is easy it so smol and it boots up so fast SIGH i didnt even know I wanted one hahahah I didnt think to get myself something like that or save up for it so glad my parents did. But yeah more study spaces means more practice for me to be alone in public man. I still get anxious sometimes. I feel like I'm being watched. 1. I'm more than most likely not bc everyone's doing their own thing. 2. even if they were, their eyes are just wandering like my eyes do when I casually people watch. I gotta train my mind and body dat it's not a big deal.

Anyway, IM LIMITING MYSELF TO SKIPPING NO MORE THAN 3 TIMES per class. Like I swear to god, it's a 3 strikes I'm out typa thing. Maybe I'll put $10 in a thing for everytime I skip, and donate it to a charity or something. Which isn't very good punishment since I'd be doing a good thing aaaa Idk yet. BASTA. No skipping. Fuck. Skipping was the main fucking reason I did ASS in fall term. That and alternating between "I'll do it at school" and "I'll do it when I get home" too often.

Get your head in the fuckin game nina, I dont wanna see another C or B in that transcript. B+ is the bare minimum standard now. Gotta resurrect that GPA.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. My social life is gna suffer a lil. Hi friends who I normally hang out with or see all the time. You will likely only see me once a week 😅 bc ya girl gotta study for her dreams to come true. I wanna ace human phys 2. I wanna ace microbio. I wanna ace anthropology in humanities. I wanna ace abnormal psychology. I wanna get 7 hours of sleep a night at least. I wanna be ahead in my reading. I wanna be up to date with my class notes. I wanna keep all my files organized. All my due dates organized. I wanna be able to work 14 hours a week, 5 days a week, without feeling like it's in the way of my studies and life in general. I wanna be able to see friends at least sometimes, like a lunch date, bc lord knows I've learned that I cant study as much as when I'm alone compared to when I'm with other people.

I'm gonna cook more often at home too, or do something like that, I hadn't cooked since summer bc of how school got, and thanks to my fam for understanding, but I gotta do my part in the house. take initiative. keep laundry folded gdi. I dont like coming home to a room with a mountain of clothes to fold in a corner and a desk where I can barely see my desk. It just drains me. So knowing this, I'm reminding myself the way I like things, where I want things to go, and what I need to do to get them there.

uh ah uh okay something I realized has been extremely apparent for most of 2018. to put it bluntly, I dont see myself as someone other persons could romantically love. Not after christian tbh. before you think it's because I dont like myself, I love myself. I'm so fucking great at loving myself. The thing is, I worked really hard to love myself, and I'm a constant fluctuating work in progress. and thats not even romantically. so, it just feels like that's how it would be if any other person were to try and love me, that's a whole lot of time and effort, and they'd have to want to want to love me in the first place. THAT sounds like I a lotta work. I dont want to put that pressure on anyone??? I think I'm only making half any sense bc another part of me wants to probably say, "ofc there are people who will want to be with u, u acorn". SO I'm gna follow that little voice this year. Last year I shunned it and focused more on platonic love and woo yeah it's so strong, theres nothing stronger.

I'm gna find me a girl. or a mans. depends who I end up meeting first. I know if it's a girl it's tricky bc how do I know if she's into girls too without exposing that I'm trying to find out if she is for the sole purpose of wanting to flirt with her??? I only just recently embraced my attraction in 2018 so it's like... I got no practice in actually flirting with women. I barely have practice flirting with dudes. Anyway ANYWAY, I'm just letting the universe know that if they got someone in store for me in 2019, my arms and mind are open as hell. I'm gna love them so healthily and we gon have such a fulfilling and respectable dynamic. we're gna be so perfectly imperfect bc we gon understand that we're just people and cant be each other's sole source for all kinds of love and energy, that would otherwise be given by many different types or friends and family members even.

WOW I'm really sleepy hmm maybe I'm finally all rambled out.

[maternalcube]

i did an art summary so now im doing a fic summary. i was tagged by @jamthedingus also!! ive never done one of these before!! lets go!!!

Rest (13106)

Keith & Lance's Island Adventure (20631)

Atlantis (10014 words)

The Way to a Man’s Heart (6858 words)

nobody's business (2096 words)

leave, and take (557 words)

dead girl walking (1661 words)

the course of fate (1039 words)

who ya gonna call (465 words)

come here often? (806 words)

til kingdom come (1950 words)

stars in the sky (pt 2) (5404 words)

a song of falling (630 words)

Eyes to the Sky (3683 words)

Feet on the Ground (4050 words)

Divergence (6669 words)

homecoming (1426 words)

Window of Opportunity (11144 words)

along that wilderness of glass (3801 words)

string theory (2327 words)

Katt Week (1062 words)

The Pining-Plant (3860 words)

at the end of many worlds (21684 words)

you're my home (19646 words)

Believe Me (3177 words)

Starchild (3568 words)

Summer Heat (2285 words)

third time's the charm (5349 words)

Blackbird (59546 words)

The Sixth Planet (9444 words)

all the infinite realities (1197 words)

Total Fics: 31! (plus one i posted anonymously lmao) Total Words: 229999! (except parts of string theory and the sixth planet were actually posted last year... but still, what a number)

more under the cut!

Ship/character breakdown: i didnt filter out my prompt collection or abandoned wips here so /shrug Ship breakdown:

klance - 6 sheith - 5 shance - 5 katt - 4 heith - 3 pallura - 2 and one each of plance, kallura, allurance, shatt, shkatt, kidge, kidgance, and shunk. and keiths parents lol. let it never be said i am not a multishipper.

and i know gen isnt a ship but it tied with klance at 6 (plus whatevers in the prompt collection) which was a surprise

Character breakdown: man if theres a way to get ao3 to show me ALL the stats, i dont know it. but.

keith - 25 (shocker) shiro - 23 lance - 21 pidge - 17 hunk - 16 allura - 12 matt - 12 and then coran and sam are at 4, and zarkon ats 3 and presumably many others are at 3 or less

Characters that had the main focus: well ~9 were from keiths pov, and ~5 each from shiro and lances povs. i think i also had ~5 from multiple points of view. its safe to say that keith has my heart tho lol

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: i still like “at the end of many worlds.” i weirdly still like “Blackbird” too even if it has nothing to do with anything... Worst title: “Rest.” :/ also like all of the abandoned wips bc i didnt care. and “Keith & Lance's Island Adventure.″ some of my zine fic titles were also... bad. im bad at titles.

Best/worst first line?

Best: Keith & Lance's Island Adventure. ok the title is bad but this line? this really sets the tone for whole fic. you know what youre getting yourself into here.

When Pidge invited Keith to a fully-funded graduation party aboard the Holt family boat (“the smaller one, anyway,” she’d said), this is not exactly what he'd pictured: three of them standing on a wobbly dock, packed bags at their feet, sky cloudy and gray, while the Holt siblings stand on a little ledge off the back of the boat and deny entry.

Worst: ive got two for this lol

at the end of many worlds: even i have to read this a couple times to figure out what i was trying to say. at least you know youre in for pain...

Keith’s mother shows up to interrupt movie night often enough that, this time, Keith almost doesn’t realize anything’s wrong. Almost, because she’s silhouetted by the movie, but she’s clutching her arm and panting for breath, and in the thin edge of light around her he sees a wet and vibrant red.

Divergence: because all your friends being dead is EXACTLY like losing at dodgeball. yeah, theres a reason i abandoned this one.

Hunk always hated playing dodgeball. Not because he was bad at it--though he was--but because he always ended up the last one standing, and therefore the only target for the entire other team. It was due to a tendency to hang unnoticed in the back, he knew, but that didn't change the sickening, empty feeling of looking around and realizing there's no one left but him, and there's no way he can win. Only wait for the inevitable.

This, Hunk decides, is a lot like that, only, like, a billion times worse.

Best/worst last line?

Best: The Pining-Plant. there are a few others that were cute too but this one is also good out of context so

And then the pod swishes open and he's scrambling to catch Pidge as she stumbles out. She clings to his arms to steady herself and his heart swells.

"Falling for me again, huh?" he asks, and she groans loudly.

"Let me go, I'm getting back in the pod," she says, and he laughs. He doesn't let go, and neither does she.

Worst: if im bad at titles, im worse at endings. most are bad. i suspect the ending to “Rest” is terrible but i cant bring myself to even open that shit again so: Believe Me. if weather were a recurring theme in this fic, itd be fine, but as is its just... a weird note to end the fic on lmao

Hunk rocks back on his heels. "We aren't counting this as our official first date, right?"

"I dunno," Keith says, and now he smiles at the rain instead of frowning. It shows no sign of easing up, but whatever—they're soaked anyway. "This seems pretty good to me."

“...All right.” If nothing else, it’ll make a good story. And, Hunk had to admit—he’s pretty happy with how it’s turned out, rain and all.

But next time, he's double-checking the forecast, just in case.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

more than i expected! considering ive been in grad school all year!! i wrote about the same amount wordcount-wise in 2017 which i spent only half in school so. idk how i managed it.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

the anonymous fic was a surprise but im not gonna talk about that lol. otherwise... nah, its all been my usual stuff.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

blackbird, probably. i like working on that one. summer heat was also fun, id sort of forgotten about it bc it was a zine fic but coming back to it, i really liked it. likewise with third time’s the charm. and i like t6p a lot even if i kinda hate drawing for it :’)

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

depends on your metric. window of opportunity has the most kudos, keith and lance’s island adventure has the most hits, and t6p has the most comments and subscriptions. 

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

AT THE END OF MANY WORLDS. oh man i killed myself over that fic. it was important to me. but i think the mcd scared everyone off :’)

Story that could have been better?

i realize “all of them” is kind of a cop out answer but like

Sexiest story?

i have written nothing sexy, ever, in my whole life

Saddest story?

i mean, ateomw. considering all the death. blackbird def has its moments too.

Most fun?

i feel like i answered this in the favorite story q lmao. you’re my home also gets a shoutout, that thing was,, super self-indulgent lmao. and id be lying if i said i didnt have fun with parts of ateomw, even if its mostly sad.

Story with single sweetest moment?

man i write a lot of fluff but so much of you’re my home is just tooth-rotting. heres part of the proposal scene lmao

"Lance!" Keith yelps, barely rescuing the ring from falling into the sand with them. Lance pushes himself up on his arms, silhouetted by the sun and glowing with it.

"Really?" he asks breathlessly.

"Yeah," Keith says, and maybe he should've prepared something to say, that's a thing people do, right? Hell, he's winging it. "I know we can't stay here on Earth forever, 'cause we're paladins, and there's still stuff out there we gotta do. And I know you probably want to stay because this is your home—but you're my home, and if we gotta go, at least you'll have me, good or bad." He grins crookedly. "Or rocket science. Whatever happens, I'll be there."

Hardest story to write?

well t6p gets a shoutout, but its not the writing thats the hard part for that. uhhh ive struggled with parts of blackbird. i remember k&l’s island adventure giving me a LOT of trouble, i think i posted late lol

Easiest/most fun story to write?

anything short uhhh for all the infinite realities, i kind of just sat down the other day (actually i was in bed but) and was like “im gonna write this” and then in the morning i just sat down and wrote it in one go. i dunno if id call it fun, but it was easy. t6p is super fun to write but, as mentioned, drawing it sucks.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

no... my perceptions probably have shifted but not due to anything i wrote in particular. i did talk myself into liking allurance with a prompt fill, though, but im not sure that was 2018...

Most overdue story?

all the infinite realities lmao. at the end of many worlds needed that happy ending. and another shoutout to t6p, because thats been going on over a year and im still nowhere.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

does posting my abandoned wips count? ive still got some of those hanging around... blackbird was a bit of a risk bc my last longfic was written while i was unemployed and out of school, so like i had the time for it, and now i kinda dont. still chugging tho. ateomw b/c of all the death but it turns out i really like writing whump woops. and writing any sort of kissing always feels like a risk bc i suck at it but im getting better lol... i hope...

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

write more! finish things! do more sheith! i really want to work on this sheith longfic i came up with the other day... but i want to get blackbird over with first.

Tagging: eh! do it if you want to!

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!