#also it’s 1am when i’m writing this so if it’s incomprehensible that’s why !!

[starstruckodysseys]

can you imagine being thirteen and having the world at your fingertips. everyone loves you - why shouldn’t they? you’re the epitome of a good girl, the ideal, the popular cheerleader type who gets The Guy. you giggle and you flirt with the football players and you have sleepovers with your friends (who don’t really feel like your friends but you’re all popular so you have to like each other, right?). you do your makeup and you bat your eyelashes and everything is perfect.

and then you start growing horns. you start looking like the devil - and you might as well be, the way everyone turns on you, starts looking at you as if you’re a freak, a monster. and, well, if everyone’s going to treat you as such, you might as well play the part, right?

so you rebel against your parents (if they’re not lying about that, too). you go out and you buy a bass guitar and you pluck at the strings until your fingers bleed. it’s better than listening to the arguments downstairs. you transform into people you’re not to pretend you could really be someone instead of the shell you are now. you flirt with guys twice your age to pretend you still have it in you, even if it feels hollow. you grin and you bear it but it’s hollow, in the end.

if you can’t be perfection anymore, why bother being anything?

(and then you meet the most wonderful people in your life. and they accept you as you are and don’t ask you to change. but you find yourself changing anyway, because they make you feel like you can be something. like maybe it’s worth it again. and you finally get The Girl. and maybe life isn’t perfection anymore, but maybe perfection is overrated, anyway.)

[mithrilbookofmystery]

A fairly long post on why I think all the sides' names are. Very smart. Thank you Thomas Joan and Talyn for being true intellectuals. And also why I think yall are right, Deceit's name is Ethan

Ok hear me out, its midnight and I'm tired and I haven't really rewatched Sanders Sides in ages but I was thinkin about y'all's theories the other day and how smart they are so I scrolled through the tag a bit and I found out that we're bring back the possibility of the name "Ethan" but now for Deceit and I love it, it fits him so much and here's why!

Now, I'm not sure of actual name meanings, but I am sure of my own little word association games, which are going to be 99.9% of my logic here. The arrows represent what word I associate that name with, especially in regards to that particular character. But anyways, onto the actual names:

Logan -> Logos. An argument that utilizes the audience's appeal to logic, usually equipped by using data and graphs and whatnot. Very fitting not only for the character but how he presents his arguments. It's just. So fitting.

Patton -> Pathos. An argument that utilizes the audience's appeal to emotion. Any emotion, not just happy (but usually people associate that style of argument with happy emotions). Again, very fitting for not only the character but how he presents his arguments, also how everyone sees him. Usually happy, but definitely a lot more.

Roman -> Romance. This can be interpreted a lot of ways, and Roman embodies every one of them. He's romanticizing future possibilities, disney stories, also one of his main purposes is being Thomas's literal romantic side. He does his job well, I'm proud

Virgil -> Vigilance. Literally anxiety but good. Still keeping an eye out, just not as paranoid anymore. I don't know what else you want from me we already hyper-analyzed his name when it was first revealed, we all already agreed it was very smart.

Remus -> the. The guy. You know. Brother of the guy that started Rome. Which makes sense considering he's Roman's brother. Literally raised by wolves and murdered after making fun of his brother's wall after he lost an argument and climbing over it. Very fitting. This also brings up my idea that the dark sides' names aren't exactly what we'd expect -- Logan, Patton, and Roman's names are very closely related to their core jobs, but with Virgil and Remus you have to think about it a bit. Still very fitting, just in a roundabout way. Kinda like the dark sides themselves: they're trying to do their best for Thomas, just not in the way people expect (or asked for, half the time)

Which brings us to Ethan! Or, well, Deceit:

Ethan -> Ethos. An argument that utilizes the audience's trust in the speaker/the speaker's credibility. To do this, the speaker will present a trustworthy persona in order to sway their audience, often lying through their fucking teeth to do so. Or just use a face that the audience already trusts to convince them, like when a company uses a celebrity in one of their ads. And like?? That is. Literally exactly who Deceit is, word-for-word. And I think that his name is closest to Patton and Logan's for a reason: those are the two sides he's technically the closest with; I'm pretty sure hes pretended to be the both of them at this point, nobody else. Patton more than Logan, yes, but Logan's the one that fights with him more than the other sides, because his logic is the opposite of Deceit's lies (but that's verging into my understanding of the color theory, which is a discussion for another post).

Anyways, yeah. Sorry if i got too incomprehensible or there were too many spelling mistakes, I'm writing this at 1am on my phone. Tl;dr Deceit's name is Ethan, and there is nothing you can do to change my mind. Even you, Thomas. Goodnight.

[threemoonsareshining]

hey i can’t sleep it’s 1am and i’m too out of it to pick i can’t properly express how much i love reading your answers so just answer any / all of those fruit asks i know i said that last time but time is a lie and you’re a cool person yeet

Hi! Oh my god it’s me the one who can’t properly express how much I like getting your asks, and how weird it feels when someone tells you that they like your answers (I still don’t get how you find my ramblings interesting!), but I actually find writing them quite liberating, and it helps me practice my writing skills in English even though they’re not very good! Ok, so you ask for it, here are some long-ass answers

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos? No! I just had my ears pierced when I was a baby and I wear normal earrings. I don’t really want any kind of piercings because I find them soo unnecessary (for me personally), I don’t see the use in involuntarily mutilating my body you know (I hate needles). I don’t have tattoos either, and I’d like to get one someday, just something tiny and pretty, but then again we encounter the problem of needles…….

raspberry: favorite flower? I honestly love all kinds of flowers but I really like… orchids for example, and when I was little I used to be obsessed with wildflowers (I made bouquets all the time) and now every once in a while I go out to my garden and pick flowers so i can press them in a book and then stick them to an empty notebook (so cliche I know) but I just think they look so so nice.

passion fruit: how would you describe your style? Mmmm I don’t really know if I have a style, I’m really basic tbh. I wear simple clothing but somehow I always manage to differentiate myself from the rest, sometimes without even trying. Like, when I go shopping I get really annoyed because 90% of the shops in every mall are owned by the same company (Inditex) and want it or not, they always end up selling the same stuff, because it’s what everybody is wearing and they sell more you know, but I hate wearing That Exact Garment That Everyone Is Wearing This Season, unless I really really like it. But most of the time I just stick to a simple style, with plain colors, although now I’m trying to broaden my horizons and feel a little bit more comfortable showing a little more skin, which I don’t always like but I’m trying you know.

pineapple: sexual orientation? Ah, the eternal question. I’m honestly not sure. I spent a lot of time believing I was ace, I have always been “mocked” for my lack of sexual behaviours. When I was in middle school people thought it was because I was  a lesbian, but I gave it a lot of thought and I arrived at the conclusion that I wasn’t, I just didn’t have attraction towards anyone, which apparently people find completely incomprehensible. But this last year I’ve experienced some situations that have made me realise I might not be 100% ace, but it’s weird because I don’t think those feelings were towards anyone in particular, so I’m pretty confused. What I have more or less clear so far is that I need a lot of trust, and when I say a lot I mean a lot, like I need to “click” with that person in a special way so I am capable of feeling the minimum sexual desire, or at least to feel comfortable enough to engage in some kind of physical contact (even kissing, like, last year I couldn’t even stand people touching my arm, so yeah all kinds of physical contact are kind of big deal to me, specially with the opposite sex, idk why), and even then it doesn’t always happen. I still have a lot to figure out, but I’m not really stressed about it, right now I’m pretty much craving some human contact (this sounds contradictory to what I wrote above, I just think I avoid physical contact because I don’t really know how to react to those situations) and hopefully I’ll get it tomorrow, even if it’s from someone that hasn't been really been really nice to me

strawberry: favorite desserts? Always ice cream, or any of the cakes that my mom bakes because they are all delicious.

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing? I used to take violin lessons and I self-taught a little of piano, but last year I didn’t have time to do anything and I ended up dropping everything art-related, which pretty much killed my soul. Giving up violin was to be expected, since it was never my passion, it felt more like an obligation because my parents pressured me a lot, and by doing that I refused to practice as much as I should so I never got to see much progress and I got stuck, while the rest of my mates kept getting better and better, which discouraged me even more. With piano, I enjoy a lot playing the little I know, and I’ve composed some themes (without any actual academic knowledge of music of course) but I think they sounded pretty good given that I came up with them with 14 years old or so. Right now I have some themes in mind (it’s amazing because I came up with them like 4 years ago and I still haven’t forgotten them, which is dangerous because I haven’t written or recorded them…). Regarding singing, I like to do it (as I type this I’m performing Africa by Toto with my heart and soul and I bet my neighbour wants to kill me right now) but I’m too shy to sing in front of people, even though I’ve been told I’m good at it (my voice isn’t strong at all btw). I’ve just performed alone in public once and I still don’t know how I managed to do it without having a nervous breakdown. Anyways, yesterday I was home alone and I started singing while doing my hair and I was surprised by myself like “woah bitch when did you learn to do that with your voice” and it was a nice feeling.

banana: favorite horror movies? Mmmmm I’m not a fan of horror movies, I’ve only started to watch some this year. For example, the only horror movie I’ve seen in an actual cinema was A quiet place, and it wasn’t even that scary, but I really liked it. I’ve also seen The Others and The Shining, which were also pretty scary for me hahah

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama? My life is one of those pretentious indie European drama movies in which nothing happens, except it’s not aesthetically pleasing

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident? The other day I was wearing a clean pyjama and I was freshly shaven and honestly, I had the confidence to kill a man.

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup? I’m trying to perfect the art of achieving a natural makeup that actually looks natural, but problem: I’m bad at it and I don’t have the right products to do it.

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be? I’d be a dryad, an elf or something that lives in the forest, nothing like a mermaid or a creature that lives in the water because I’m afraid of it, just let be me eaten by the moss please and thank you

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic? I’ve said it like 461654 times but Plant Life by Owl City is me, like, if that song was a person, it would be me.

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night? I love the night because it feels like time stops. If I’m alone, I don’t feel judged because there’s no one else to see me, I can just enjoy the world when everything’s quiet and if I stay awake till dawn I get to see how the world wakes up which is also really nice. I also like the night when I’m with people, I can’t describe the feeling, like, when I breathe deeply, I feel some butterflies in my stomach (sometimes it’s the anxiety and I want to end my suffering right there but other times it’s like a nice way of feeling excited), just being surrounded by people... it gives me a weird feeling (my way of expressing this is so shitty i’m sorry)

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person? I’ve always been known for being stone cold and emotionless, but actually I am Very Sensitive, everything affects me, even if I’m not the target of it (I would get really upset at school when my classmates were mean to teachers because I felt so so so so bad for them and my mom told me like “but the haven0t done anything to you!” and I’m like I know but my soul is in pain what can I do). Despite this, I never cried once at school, I just let it all out when I got home (I would cry a lot outside), and that’s why everyone thought I had no feelings, when actually I had a lot of them, too many, I just got really really good at hiding them. This is now a problem since I find myself incapable of expressing my feelings to other people. I’m good at rationalising them to myself, I can distance myself from my own perspective and think “You’re feeling this because of that”, but there’s a difference between being able to acknowledge your feelings objectively and actually having the capability to control them, or change them (that’s why they’re feelings, they’re the opposite of “objective” and they can’t just be turned off whenever you want). This is the reason why it’s so exhausting to be concealing them all the time like I do or not even that, just trying to canalise negative feelings instead of avoiding them can be really hard. So yeah, to sum up, I’m very emotional, but I’d like to believe I’m very self-aware so I can find some kind of balance.

orange: do you have long eyelashes? I actually do, but only because I apply ricin oil every night before bed. I did it just to give it a try but my lashes are now not only longer, but also denser (I have lots of new hairs popping out, it’s very nice to see). I do it because I hate wearing mascara, and I want them to look fuller without having to apply anything.

apricot: what do you do when you’re sad? When I’m very very sad I just get this sinking feeling in my chest, which I can’t express with words how much I hate it, it reminds me of all the times I’ve gotten that feeling in my life and makes me feel completely miserable. When I feel like that, there’s literally nothing else I can do but lie feeling just kind of paralyzed. I often try to watch a tv show, and even though I can’t concentrate on it and I’ll probably end up having to rewatch that episode, it distracts me a little. I also play music, but it sometimes makes it even worse. Lately, when I feel really down, or anxious (specifically anxiety over things I know are stupid and no big deal, but things that my brain decides to worry about anyway), I end up cleaning something very thoroughly, like my bedroom or bathroom while listening to some playlist with mainstream songs that I know the lyrics to but that I’m not emotionally attached to so I can keep my mind busy until lunchtime or until I have to go out.

star fruit: favorite sea creature? I used to be obsessed, and when I said obsessed I mean obsessed with whales, specifically beluga whales. I have a stuffed beluga toy, a beluga notebook and I still have the picture of a beluga hung on my wall (it’s not big I swear it’s not that bad now). I also made my mom tell my tales about belugas for like 6 or 7 years every single night (I can’t remember when exactly she stopped doing it but I can tell you I was old enough to feel really, really ashamed of it if anyone found out about it), now I feel sorry for her because it must had been a really big effort for her… I was obsessed with dolphins as well, I remember crying while watching dolphin documentaries on tv because I wanted one so bad and my parents tried to explain me that that was just… not possible. Oh I also have those figurines that glow in the dark with whale shapes (you know those stars that are on the ceiling of kids’ rooms? well just like that but with whales, I still have them)

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol? I do, and I know it’s really unhealthy but I mean… besides that I’m a pretty healthy girl, I don’t smoke, I don’t eat processed foods and I work out every once in a while… you gotta live a little. And it’s also nothing like drinking every day or anything, it’s just that when I go out with friends I drink, heavily, but I still know when to stop (I’ve only gone overboard like… twice, and it was nothing serious, like, you end up getting all your dinner out and with a terrible hangover the next day). It’s funny because when I’m drunk and my head is spinning, I can still see myself trying to rationalise everything and i have some principles as a drunk girl: 1. Watch your step as gracefully as you can 2. Be nice and try to help everyone, stranger or not 3. Pick up the things you drop on the ground because the environment is still in danger 4. If someone needs to go to pee, especially if it’s one of your girlfriends, don’t let them go alone. It’s actually a little sad because one of the main reasons why I drink at parties it’s because I get really anxious in social situations, and it helps me feel a little less self-conscious, but lately it doesn’t do the trick, and I just stare into space and my mind goes blank every time someone talks to me, and them feeling terrible about my lack of social skills… I should fix that

This was really nice to write, it kept me busy for a while, just what I needed. I don’t know if you go through all of it but hey at least it helped me!

Have a nice nice day!!! 🍃🍃🍃🍂🍂🍂

[alex-writes-things]

100 Things I Love

1.      Poetry and beautiful quotes from literature

2.     Feeling it start to rain on a hot day or when you’ve been exercising

3.     Sitting in a dimly lit room, writing and listening to music

4.     Old typewriters and record players

5.     Kelly Macdonald/Joanne Davidson

6.     People who ship Wolfstar, Flemson, Cazzie etc

7.     Watching someone play with children or be affectionate with children

8.     Huge open fields

9.     Laying in said fields with my girlfriend (hi beth if you’re reading this)

10.   Queer women represented in fiction

11.     Drinking fanta on a hot day

12.    Cities, especially Rome, especially in summer or when it’s raining

13.    Watching storms and rain from a window

14.   Smiling when I think of old memories

15.    Line of Duty (sorry, had to mention it)

16.   Listening to music very loud through headphones

17.    Looking at people in cities and towns and wondering what their story is

18.   Trains, and the feeling of looking out of your window and watching miles fly by

19.   Making/finding and giving gifts

20.  At concerts when they hold out their mic to the audience and everyone screams back the lyrics

21.    Beth’s laugh. And her voice. And pretty much all her mannerisms 😊

22.   Cats

23.   Hozier, Frank Turner, Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, The Head and The Heart, The Strumbrellas, and countless other artists that make me feel at home with their music

24.  Pretty flowers and bright green lawns and huge houses with hidden ruins and statues and secrets!

25.   Watching someone in love look at their person

26.  Road trips and car journeys

27.   Theme parks and running from one side to the other so you don’t miss your favourite ride

28.  Talking to my friends

29.  Talking to people that I don’t often talk to and falling platonically in love with little things about them

30.  Coming home after a long day

31.    Being accepted after coming out to someone or mentioning that I have a girlfriend

32.   Reading all day and being so gripped that I forget anything else exists

33.   Texting someone at 1am and getting a reply

34.   Being told that I helped someone or made their day a bit better

35.   Holding hands (with Beth), hugging (Beth only. Like sorry. But no hugs.), leaning on (Beth’s) shoulders.

36.  Sleepovers, and staying up so late talking that the sky starts to lighten outside the window

37.   Finally understanding something I’ve been struggling with

38.   Walking

39.  Packing bags for holidays, school trips and days out

40.  When someone sees that you’re upset and doesn’t say anything but helps quietly

41.   Lesbians. Girls. Women. Girls that love girls. Literally lesbians.

42.  Picnics

43.   Stargazing and cloud watching either with someone I love or by myself

44.  Beaches early in the morning

45.  Running through the shallow waves on a beach with a dog at my heels

46.  Finding pretty rocks and shells or cool creatures out in nature, watching other people do this too!

47.  Sleeping beside someone you care about and you see their sleepy smile and messed up hair in the morning

48.  Willow trees and clear chalk rivers

49.  Mountains and tall buildings and anything incomprehensibly huge

50.  Casual touches between people who are completely comfortable with one another

51.    Writing poetry when I’m alone

52.   Being alone, especially on a journey or home alone

53.   Fish, and seals, and whales and dolphins and all of those crazy sea creatures that exist

54.  The fact that there are so many humans out there that live and create and love and hate and feel things? And we’re all stuck in our one life. I hate it but I also think it’s wonderful

55.   Sexual and romantic tension in books. It isn’t necessary but sometimes it’s what makes me fall in love with a book even more

56.  Fajitas, burritos, guacamole, street food, dim sum, Vietnamese restaurants

57.   Watching plays and musicals

58.  How much opportunity there is in the world, and how much we still have left to learn

59.  Cliffs

60.  Wind in trees, in hair, in clothes

61.   Finding beautiful things out about people I love

62.  Listening to someone tell me their childhood stories (to an extent haha)

63.  Playing guitar especially when I’m alone

64.  Figuring out the chords to a song I like on my guitar

65.  Vicky McClure/Kate Fleming, Martin Compston/Steve Arnott, Adrian Dunbar/Ted Hastings, Kelly Macdonald (again), Scarlett Johansson, Keeley Hawes, Jennifer Lawrence

66.  Being truly alone or being in a crowd with nobody that knows me

67.  Black nail polish

68.  Jewellery especially rings and earrings

69.  Denim jackets, cord jackets and other kinds of jackets like this

70.  When people smile at each other across the room

71.    When people scrunch their noses as they smile or laugh or something

72.   Reading people’s head canons about tv shows and fandoms they’re passionate about, even when I don’t agree

73.   Analysing poems in English class (don’t ask why)

74.  Watching banter between old friends

75.   Rediscovering music I haven’t heard in a while

76.  Salt and vinegar crisps

77.   Leaving school at the end of term with my friends

78.  Singing with my friends

79.  The Midnight Library (Matt Haig), Children of Blood and Bone (Tomi Adeyemi), Red White and Royal Blue (Casey McQuinston), A Good Girl’s Guide To Murder (Holly Jackson)

80.  Enamel pins

81.   Stationery of all kinds, but especially notebooks

82.  Antiques shops and old book shops

83.   Edinburgh, York, Cambridge, Snowdonia, London, Rome, Palma

84.  The sound of people laughing, people shouting, people chatting

85.  Acting

86.  Having fun and doing stupid things with my friends, my girlfriend, my drama group

87.  Wearing nice clothes and then the feeling of being complimented on them

88.  Climbing mountains and canoeing

89.  The taste of cold water on a hot day

90.  Online/window shopping just for fun and not to buy anything just to look

91.   Crying at a sad book, film, poem or TV show

92.  Finding out a famous person that I look up to or respect is part of the LGBT+ community

93.  Researching for a project I care about

94.  Frogs, rats, kittens, dinosaurs

95.  Pretty ukuleles and guitars

96.  Finally understanding something in a maths or chemistry lesson and feeling like I’m not as stupid as I think

97.  Huge communities of people coming together

98.  Ancient Rome, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, ancient mythology, literature from a very long time ago

99.  The film 1917

100. Finishing a good book and never wanting to let it go ever again