#also just a little note that I am *obsessed* with Stanford era Dean

[gaytedlasso]

hi for the love of god hello ✨

So I recently hit my 1k follower milestone and thought I’d do a little something to celebrate becoming a Supernatural blog in 2021 and that 1000 people have decided this decision was valid. I love you all and would not trade this last year for anything. 

Since I’m a content creator, what better way to party than a creator celebration! To make it even better, I’m planning this during my birthday weekend ~

To join the party, use the tag #justcastiel1k or mention me! 

Make whatever you like! Art, fics, amvs, edits, web weaving, poetry, anything! There will be three prompts per day. Feel free to interpret them however you want. Use just one or all three, doesn’t matter! The third prompt will be from a song, but you don’t need to use that song in your creation. 

January 13 - 16

Prompts

Jan 13: trueform/angel - falling/flying - “holy feeling”

Jan 14: cowboy - alone - “not dead yet”

Jan 15: young Dean - tattoos - “everything is temporary”

Jan 16: epilogue - faith - “where I belong”

Important notes! January 13th is my birthday! Also, while this is a celebration, I'd like it known that I LOVE angst. Fluff and happy posts are of course welcomed and cherished, but please do not hesitate to make me want to walk into the ocean. Literally daring you to do your worst. Or make soft domestic pieces, I'm completely happy either way lol ~

lawboy notes (rules)

nsfw content is welcome! just please tag it #lemon

you don’t have to follow me to participate!

I’m obviously a destiel fan, but I welcome other pairings and characters! 

no inc*st, non-con, or minor/adult pairings

nothing J*hn Winchester positive

Hope everyone has fun with this! Do not hesitate to dm me or send me an ask if you have any questions! 

Can’t wait to see what you come up with for these prompts. It’s a while out so there’s plenty of time lol. Will tag some beloved mutuals who may be interested in participating or could help spread the word.

[norahastuff]

penny for your thoughts on salmondean codependency ?

Sure. Fair warning it’s long (was longer but I stopped myself.)

I think it’s complicated in a show that’s had so many different showrunners because they’ve all handled Sam and Dean’s relationship very differently. In Kripke’s era (s1-5) there was a romanticization of the bond. Sure there was a lot of in-depth exploration of how they wound up at the place they were at, spoiler alert: it was all because of John and his obsessive crusade to find the demon that killed his wife. That’s all he cared about and as a result, Sam and Dean had to be everything to each other. But Kripke had no intention of dismantling that at any point because he was (and always had been) writing a tragedy. Gamble continued that too. There was no room for anyone else in their lives and it would always just be the two of them against the world. So Cas had to go. Bobby had to go.

(Actually, it's funny because Gamble didn't intend this at the time, her plan was to kill Cas off, but by Edlund creating the masterpiece that is The Man Who Would Be King, he not only saved Cas from being seen as a villain, but he also deepened Dean and Cas' relationship in such a profound way and inextricably linked the two of them emotionally. And since Cas was eventually brought back, that laid the foundation for a lot of what their relationship would become.)

Up until this point, there hadn’t really been any significant dismantling of perhaps the more unhealthy parts of Sam and Dean’s relationship. Enter Carver. He stripped things down and started to explore what drove these characters. What they wanted and why they couldn’t have it. It starts with Dean being mad at Sam for not looking for him in purgatory, which sets up the whole speech in the s8 finale of Sam’s guilt about letting Dean down, but the thing is, Dean was never honest with Sam about his year away either. He never told Sam he could have gotten out much sooner if he hadn’t stayed to find Cas. I mean Dean had assumed Sam was up there alone doing God knows what to try to bring him back, and yet still he stayed in Purgatory because things were clear there. He needed Cas. Anyway, I just find that interesting, but Cas isn’t a victim of Sam and Dean’s relationship in s8.

Who gets the honour of being cast aside? That would be Benny and Amelia, two characters they introduced in s8 specifically to highlight that Sam and Dean’s relationship doesn’t allow for anyone else to be a significant part of their life. I mean that’s nothing new, we’ve watched that happen many times before. Lisa even said as much to Dean. The thing is this time? It’s framed as a truly sad thing. That moment at the end of 8x10 when Dean has just ended things with Benny and Sam leaves Amelia, and they’re sitting alone drinking beer and watching tv is such a hollow empty moment. This is not what they want. But it’s the way things have to be.

I’m actually fascinated by Sam and Dean’s conversation in the church in the s8 finale. Not so much Dean’s assertion that there is no one else he would put before Sam, but more so what provokes it, which is Sam saying “who are you going to turn to instead of me. Another angel? Another vampire?” See the thing is Dean saying he would always put Sam first is not news. We know this and it’s not really an unhealthy statement in itself either. A lot of people would put their sibling above anything else, not less a sibling who you raised and is the most important person to you. But in this context? After what Sam said? It just highlights how unhealthy they are if Sam believes that Dean having other people in his life means he doesn’t love him enough. That he’s a disappointment to him. That’s so profoundly fucked up.

(Note, Dean tells Sam that he killed Benny for him but he doesn’t say anything about Cas. I think like I said before, this is because Cas and Dean’s relationship has largely existed out of the Sam and Dean stuff up to this point - Sam and Cas don’t even really have much of a relationship yet besides both of their connections to Dean.)

And then from here, things start getting steadily worse. But we also keep being shown how bad they are. Dean lying to Sam, taking away his free will by letting Gadreel possess him. Dean sending Cas away, Kevin dying. It’s all awful. The whole “there ain’t no me if there ain’t no you line” from 9x01 isn’t really said by Dean, it’s Gadreel, but that is how Dean feels. He does think that’s all he’s good for. And over the season we’re shown how much of himself and what he truly wants he’s had to give up because of his ingrained “Save Sammy” and “Sammy comes first” mentality. It’s always been this way for him. In 9x07 we see that he had found a happy home, a good father figure, and his first love, a first love might I add that he had to leave behind with no real explanation because Sam needed him, and Sam comes first.

I mean just one episode earlier we had him rushing out the door elated about seeing Cas and spending time with him, only for their time together to come to sad and melancholic end when Dean once again leaves Cas behind without any real explanation, because despite what he wants Sammy comes first. What he wants doesn’t matter.

See I think after the Gadreel stuff comes out is where the narrative starts to get a little wonky for me. You can clearly see that this was intended to be a shorter story that they ended up stretching out to a much longer one because of renewals. There’s also the fact that this is a formula show so they can’t necessarily be separated for longer than an episode or two. S10 is a rough one to get through at times, I think the themes still mostly hold up but it’s a rough one to get through.

S10 highlights all the connections that Dean has, Cas, Charlie, Crowley even, but Sam doesn’t really have those bonds in the same way.  For Sam it’s just Dean, so he goes down a reckless destructive “do anything to save Dean!” path and so many innocents pay the price, and ultimately with the release of The Darkness, the whole world.

They skirted right up to the edge of exploring just how toxic and dangerous their relationship had become in the season 10 finale.

DEAN: I let Rudy die. How was that not evil? I know what I am, Sam. But who were you when you drove that man to sell his soul... Or when you bullied Charlie into getting herself killed? And to what end? A..a good end? A just end? To remove the Mark no matter what the consequences? Sam, how is that not evil? I have this thing on my arm, and you're willing to let the Darkness into the world.

I can’t say evil is the right word, they were never evil, but they were wilfully blind to everything and everyone else when it came to saving each other. S10 tested my love for the show because after watching it, because there was certainly a feeling that the two of them had become the villains of this story. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a problem with that, it’s just after 2 seasons of this I can’t say I had a lot of faith that this was going to be properly addressed or if we were going to keep going in circles around it. Keep being shown, it’s bad and then nothing much being done to fix it. Your mileage may vary on how it was handled, but I think s11 did a relatively ok job considering it wasn’t the end of the story, and the show needed to keep going.

See from Dean’s side a lot of the codependency rests on 1. His father’s orders to always save Sammy 2. His low self-esteem where he sees himself as nothing but a blunt instrument. 3. His guilt at not being able to perfectly fulfil every familial role in Sam’s life 4. His belief that no one could choose to love him but family has to love you. 5. The unhealthy example of what it should look like to love someone that he got from John. You give up everything but them.

For Sam (and honestly it’s not as clear for me as Dean’s side is so feel free to correct me/disagree on this) 1. Everytime he’s tried to leave and create his own life it’s never ended well. 2. His guilt over wanting freedom and a normal life when he was younger (I’m referring specifically to Stanford era here) 3. His guilt over everything Dean has given up for him. 4. John. 5. Jess.

Ultimately it all comes down to isolation. They both had to be everything to each other, and the deeper they got into this fight, the more people that they lost, the tighter they clung to this notion of family and brothers. I think s11 (and 11x23 in particular) was an important turning point, both for Sam and Dean’s relationship, as well as for them as individuals. Because they weren’t alone there anymore. Cas was there. Sam let Dean walk to his death. Of course, it would devastate him, but he knew it was what had to be done. And he didn’t walk out of that bar and go back to the bunker alone. He had Cas, he had someone who cared about him and wanted to help him and talk to him. Sure Dean asked Cas to take care of Sam for him (you know after Cas offered to walk to his death with him) but Sam let him. He let him be there for him. We didn’t get to see much before the BMOL showed up and blasted Cas away, but still, we saw enough.

I think that’s a significant difference to note why their relationship was different in the Dabb era. It wasn’t just them anymore. Cas was an important member of their family and given a level of importance he’d never been given before and couldn’t have been when the story they were telling was of the dangers of their codependency. Mary was back. Eventually, Jack would become a part of their unit too. Just the two of them wasn’t enough for them anymore. This is made abundantly clear with all of Dean’s desperate attempts to get Cas to stay in s12, followed by his inability to keep going when they lose Cas and Mary in s13. Similarly, Sam really struggles when they lose Jack and fail to get Mary back later in the season.

Another big moment is Dean letting Sam go alone to lead the hunters against the BMOL in 12x22 while he stays back to try and reach Mary. Like he tells Mary, he’s had to be a brother, a father and a mother to Sam and he never stopped seeing him as his kid, but in that moment he makes a choice. He lets Sam take charge and he shows that he trusts him and believes in him. He knows he can handle it.

Sometimes it’s not even a character growth thing. Sometimes having other people there stops you from making destructive choices even though that’s still your first instinct. I’m thinking specifically of 13x21 after Sam was killed. Dean would have run headlong into that nest of vampires and got himself torn apart, but Cas was there to stop him. He was able to make him see reason.

Basically, I think that for a long time, they thought the only relationship they could have was each other, which then became a self-fulfilling prophecy because their desperate attempts to keep each other around led to them losing the people around them. They eventually started to learn that that wasn’t true, they could have more, they were allowed to want more, and that it wasn’t an either-or situation. Dean didn’t have to choose between Sam and Cas. They didn’t have to choose between each other or Jack. The same goes for Mary. Different relationships can coexist without threatening each other, and not say that their relationship in s12-15 was all smooth sailing, but it was certainly so very different from everything that came before.

(There’s maybe a point to be made about how they didn’t have anyone or anything in the finale and how that relates to the story we got, but honestly I have no idea what the intention was with any of the choices made in that episode so I’ll leave it at that for now.)

[allypacino]

15,22,25

Thank you for the ask <3 I RANTED ranted so I'm putting all of it under the line.

I've seen up to 4x20 so far and I think my favourite episode thus far might be "What Is and What Should Never Be" in season 2, the djinn episode (2x20).

I've put some thoughts into this and I think that this might be my favorite example of early SPN for me. Although it deviates from the norm, the general premise still rests within the monster of the week format while allowing for some of the best character exploration of the series. Don't get me wrong, 4x16 lives in my head rent free and I am always thinking about rebelling against authorfathergod, the theological implications of having the work of angels be undone by a leaky pipe, the holiness that lies in fallibility yada yada but I'm aware that the precarious, dizzying potential Supernatural carried did not mean that the episode itself was perfect on paper. On that level, I thought that 2x20 executed its storytelling really well.

It was during a time where the narrative predominantly relied on Sam as the audience-insert protagonist, and having Dean be the one who we relied on was a fascinating change of pace. The show was famously dark during this period with its lighting and the episode flipped it on its head, letting us see Dean's dream world - and get this. John Winchester is dead and Dean and Sam are estranged.

This literally drives me CRAZY. Even in an ideal world John is not around. What does that mean for Dean, who idolised his dad and copied everything he did? It suddenly introduced this fascinating fold in Dean's characterisation, and allowed for the deconstruction of the nuclear family. Paradise is not just mom and dad and two dogs, paradise depends on the people. And Dean was deep down self-aware enough to know that John, as he knew him, would not fit in. He's always been aware, and even though this was season 2, where he was in throes of guilt over the death of his father, he still couldn't see a way he'd be back.

But the saddest part of the episode is how he felt distanced from Sam. His brother meant everything to him, and here they barely spoke to each other. It was clear that the Dean in this universe was a troublemaking alcoholic. Was he afraid that hunting was the only thing he and Sam had in common? Did he think that he was so awful and worthless that without their trauma that bound them together, he'd be cut out of their lives? Was he relieved that he and Sam had their individual lives? It was devastating to see. Oh toxic codependency we're really in it now!!

Apart from the characterisation, the plot was neatly done and I was genuinely kinda scared by the ghostly visions in this a couple of times. So good job on the horror for back when this was a horror show!

So I think that s1-5 are all about the legacy of John Winchester. Even after his death his shadow looms over the entire show. In many ways this show is about John Winchester, because this show is about authorfathergod. Everything is about what John Winchester left behind and every episode is about Sam and Dean dealing with the implications of John Winchester's decisions to give his life or leave them behind or teach them that they need to suck it up. Every couple of episodes Sam and Deam argue about what dad would do and what it means to be made in your father's image, what it means to have always been destined to be cursed, or carry the anger or the stubbornness. Begotten not made. Where did John come from? And is it your father's fault or your father's father's fault, and will you deal with that or will you take his lessons and pass it on. Is it your duty to honour thy father or is it your mission to rebel. Is your religion only your religion because it was passed down to you by your dad? Do you believe in God or do you believe in the fear of God your father put in you? Who is God but a negligent father. Neither of them answer your prayers.

John was in the navy and his militaristic parenting method and the ruthlessness with which he treated monsters defined the tone of the show in its early days. I read yesterday that s1-2 of spn were the most requested dvds by this military division in? Like 2007? And honestly that's the problem!!! The entire show refuses to address the humanisation of monsters and presents them as almost unambiguously evil, with the protagonists never truly confronting what it means to kill the innocent but different. That's the military! John's navy background, in this way, literally sets up one of the primary flaws of the entire show. The inability to see the enemy as worthy of life because they are inherently other. Yikes yikes! As a post-9/11 show, very haunting to see the influences of the American military here knowing what's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Furthermore John was just... A really bad parent. He never celebrated christmas with his sons (let alone any Jewish holidays, I'm assuming, even though Mary had Jewish ancestors), never even took Dean (or Sam) to a baseball game. He neglected his very young children and made Dean the parent of the household, and punished him by sending him away if he strayed from his orders. He was a goddamn drill sergeant and gave his sons so many issues. He told Dean to kill Sam before he died. He never said he was proud of them. And yeah, he drove out to see Sam at Stanford and also gave his life for Dean, but the guy was terrible at raising his kids.

The thing is that John is a righteous man. He's supposed to have never broken in hell, he saved countless lives, he's like the ultimate hero that Sam and Dean can't live up to. And on a narrative level... That's such a cop out, man. This is a character written for those who can't bring themselves to care, or be responsible to their loved ones, but go "I would die for you and I would kill for you". You know the ones. And maybe they even could. But it doesn't matter, because people are in fact nuanced and sacrificial acts of love does not make up for the years of neglect he put his kids through. But yeah, he's complicated. In "In the Beginning" we see how he was such a hopeful mechanic, far removed from what we know him as, but then you think back to the pilots and you remember how the beer bottles started before any demonic activity, and you know that the picturesque family John hammered into Sam and Dean like a religion was never going to last.

I do think some writers were fully aware of his flaws whereas some loved him as a dad, but in many ways I think that that's totally in character for Sam and Dean, who loved their father regardless of everything yet knew that he was an obsessed bastard. Spn is such an inconsistent show that I feel like the story can get so thin sometimes that the secret good version of supernatural is one step away from breaking out from underneath it. I love it no I don't I do <3

I've said a lot about Sam and Dean BUT my favorite character is Castiel so i am at a direct disadvantage having only seen up to 4x20 here! I have a special love for season 2 because it has a lot of my fave motws, and also ended on a really devastating note of Dean making the hell deal, and I like pain. But Castiel Angel of the Lord is in s4 and also this season has legit been really good. I feel like s5 might be my favorite season from what I know of it though. In conclusion... Idk!!! I love Cas but post-hell Sam and Dean are so miserable. Maybe I'd love Dabb era domesticity instead.

Muchtothinkabout.jpeg I am sorry for procrastinating this for 24 hrs and i'm sorry for this long ass ramble <3 hope it's a little entertaining