#also like i am aware other people babysit eggs too

[soulfireblue]

the egg watching morning/evening split between tubbo and bad is like

tubbo:

sunny every day sunny wakes up

empanada if she's on and bagi's not there

ramon if he's on and fit's not there

chayanne if he's on and phil's not there (hasn't happened as often recently but he's mentioned wanting to)

tallulah if she's on and phil's not there (has happened a few times over christmas)

richas is usually with a parent at this time so sometimes he'll come by to say hi but doesn't stay.

bad:

dapper every day dapper wakes up

pomme pretty much every day pomme wakes up

richas if he's on and a parent's not there (and let's be real this is most nights)

pepito if pepito's on and roier or quackity isn't there

leo if she's on and foolish's not there (i saw this more before the eggs disappeared)

sometimes morning eggs will get handed off to bad if they want to stick around after tubbo leaves, or they'll want to go hang out with bad while tubbo is still there like em today. i wouldn't be surprised if (and i'm hoping that we will) start to see tallulah hanging out with bad more too. <3

then sometimes tubbo comes back and hangs out with eggs in the evening, recently ending up with a combination of pomme, richas, and/or pepito of the night eggs. if either bad or tubbo is watching eggs and the other logs on, there's a decent shot some eggs will start bouncing between them.

also interesting to note is that each of the morning eggs are tubbo's family in some way (his daughter, his daughter's sister, his and sunny's brother, and his godkids), so that's the main reason they'll log on to hang out with him and sunny. if any of the other eggs who aren't really related to him wanted to wake up to hang out with him, i'm sure he'd be happy to have them, but the morning eggs are comfortable hanging out with him because he is family.

bad is also family to the eggs he watches (dapper and pomme are his kids), but for some of them it started partly because he's stepped up to help complete egg tasks/cookies when their parents aren't around. though tallulah hasn't spent as much time with him recently, that was once true for her, too. and then there's richas who just loves hanging out with his siblings and bad lol

[silverechosandblankmasks]

Platonic Polyam Bench Trio Marriage AU

You guys asked, so here I am to deliver! Platonic Polyam Bench Trio marriage au where Tommy marries into Tubbo’s and Ranboo’s platonic marriage. (focus on Tommy lol)

NOTE; These are about the c!characters and not the irl people, and I'm writing this like a poly queerplatonic relationship okay? None of this is intended to be romantic or anything else and anything that is in this list is PLATONIC INTENTIONS ONLY

Edit; Now called the Bench Husbands Au

-It kinda all kicks off when about a week or so after Tommy gets out of Prison. (Note, nothing after the first stream after Tommy gets out is canon in this au, as well as some things before)

-Tubbo and Tommy finally have a small fight and argument, before talking, like really talking and Tubbo invite Tommy to come live with them in the mansion in snowchester once its done.

-Tommy doesn't really want to... but he’s tired and lonely and still scared to death and Tubbo promises he’s safe with them, plus if they lived together they could plan on how to kill Dream easier as well.

-Ranboo doesn't mind but after that he tries to go talk to tommy more, but Tommy isnt... the most receptive? Tommy is suffering still and is feeling very replaced and lonely, but doesn't excuse his kinda snippy behavior with Ranboo

-This finally comes to ahead when Ranboo snaps and calls him out, leading to another small fight, before Tommy apologizes and they also talk. This one is more in depth though and Tommy talks about what happened in exile, in the prison, and just general shitty stuff that's being going on. 

-Ranboo, in turn, talks to him about the voices and Dream’s voice and the sleepwalking and Tommy is very much more concerned about them then anyone else he told was, and validates the fear about it, and resolves to help Ranboo get rid of it somehow.

-After this, and both trying to convince the other they should tell Tubbo, that they both probably need to tell Tubbo. They want to keep him safe and not worry him, but... they both need help in different ways and they both love him enough to not do that to him.

-The night ends with lots of tears, Tubbo admitting his own traumas and tears and what he’s been not saying, and a promise to help each other.

-Its not a while after that actually Ranboo brings up the idea of adding Tommy to their marriage. He can tell the blond is struggling with feeling replaced and low-self esteem, and it would help him feel more equal and loved maybe? Tubbo thinks its a great idea and they go to ask Tommy.

-Tommy’s pretty uppity at first, he believes its just them pitying him and treating him like glass again, which he hates more then anything, but after they calm him down and explain they just want him to feel equal and that they both actually cared for him and wanted him to join in on their thing, he’s more contemplative. Ranboo nervously throws in a few other points, like how for legal reasons it could benefit him like it was for them, their allies had to leave him alone, plus Tubbo only started making his own hotel becuase he wanted Tommy to start interacting with him again, and-

-At this point Tommy just, interrupts and says yes, surprising them. They didn't exactly think he’d say no, but they thought it would be harder then that. He laughs at their expressions and says why not? Plus it stood to reason they’d want Tommy, everyone wanted Tommy.

-Ranboo and Tubbo exchange a look before bullying their now platonic fiancée. They agree to get married as soon as the Mansion is done, and till then Tommy can finish packing his stuff and a few other things he wanted to do.

-Also Tommy is totally not avoiding Michael because every pet he ever got close to has died and he doesn't want to get attached and risk Tubbo and Ranboo losing something they cared about because of him, no siree, why wouldn't you think that?

-Speaking of Michael!

-Its not all that strange to keep undead mobs like Zombie piglins as pets, in fact Zombie Piglins are the probably better undead mob to keep around due to their mostly passiveness if you want a pet and the fact they don't need much to eat and wont really be harmed if out leave them alone for long periods of time

-Though Tommy kinda thinks Tubbo and Ranboo’s insist on treating him like their child is weird, but he’s willing to let them have it, clearly it made them happy to play around

-Isn't until he finally moves in that he realizes that Michael is different then other zombie piglins and finds himself being pulled into the parent dynamic as well

-Though now that he thinks about it, something about Michael seems off… welp it's probably nothing :)

-When the mansion is done, he tears down the dirt shack and makes it a community garden and it becomes one of the only things that stays free of the red vines (who knew watering it with water from the holy land would make it untouchable? It's thanks to this garden later others figure out how to defeat the egg)

-They elect to not have a ceremony, not now at least but Tommy actually thinks a small wedding party would be fun at a later date. Ranboo doesn't mind much if they have one or not but Tubbo is actually very excited about planning it.

-Tommy wears his ring on a necklace most of the time, but occasionally wears it on his fingers, usually when he needs something to fiddle with.

-Ranboo wears his on his tail (the area right before to fluffy part) normally but also wears it on his finger sometimes when he feels like it. (If your version has horns, he also does that too) it just really depends on what he’s feeling and if he’s forgotten where he put it. He also like, never takes it off unless to move it around because he’s afraid to lose it.

-Tubbo wears his as an actual ring on his finger (though if he has horns, sometimes he puts it on one of em if he needs the ring to be off his hand.) Tubbo learned the hard way when building nukes or other machinery (since, if you can believe it, his husbands aren’t that comfortable with the nukes as he is) you can't wield or do high heat stuff while wearing metal and nearly lost his finger. He’s very lucky and he has a small scar from it.

-Each of them have their own rooms so they can have their own space and somewhere to go if they want time to themselves/store their stuff in, but there is a 4th room (directly across from Michaels) where they share and tend to curl up to sleep together. About 5 out of 7 days of the week, some combo of them are cuddling together at night, more if they're having a bad day or nightmares.

-There's multiple bathrooms in the mansion but there's one they all like the best and will fight over it/race to get into it first before the others and the other two will stalk off salty to use a different one

-They're all pretty tactile people but out of them, Tommy is the most tactile (once the fear of being hurt recess he practically attaches himself to the others) and Ranboo is the least (he won't seek out comfort and touch as much as the others unless he needs it, but is the best at telling when the other two need touch or need to be left alone) and Tubbo is in the middle of that.

-Tommy is the one that cooks most of the time, Ranboo is banned from it after The Incident and while Tubbo is okay at cooking, Tommy just knows more recipes and how to make things taste really good.

-Tommy picked up sewing from when he was a kid, even before he was found by Wilbur and adopted by Phil, it was useful to be able to patch the rags he called clothes, and just ended up continuing because his brothers and dad sucked at sewing. It then morphed into full tailoring because he found it relaxing and liked being able to make his own clothes. He can and will be insulted if anyone wears anything he deems ‘ugly’, especially his new husbands. He makes them clothes all the time, specially Michael.

-In fact he also cleans the most, he just gets bored and while he makes a mess, if the house gets to a certain point he gets really uncomfortable and overstimulated, so he cleans.

-DomesticInnit? In my au? More likely then you think!

-Gradually the whole ‘watching the prison’ and ‘planning to kill Dream’ starts to fade as he gets back into the groove of living again and therapy. He’s just… tired of Dream having a hold on everything Tommy does, he’s sick of it. So… he just tries to live these days one step at a time. (Healing arc baby! Dream can die mad UwU)

-Tommy dragged them both to Therapy with him after a while.

-Because of this he finds himself home a lot with Michael, especially if the other two are busy. They’ve pretty much decided that someone has to be home with Michael at all times, which is now 100% more doable with the 3 of them, and Puffy or Foolish babysit if there’s ever time they can't.

-Tommy is a lot less of a hovering helicopter parent then the others and was the one to finally convince them Michael cant live trapped in a room. Yes, they were all worried for his safety but… you can't raise a kid in a cell, even if it's a nice one. Tommy takes Michael out more

-Tommy started to sleep walking again once they moved in and he still gravitates towards water for some reason. Nothing more startling then waking up because you plunged into frigid below 0 temp water while sleepwalking. Ranboo also enderwalks/sleepwalks more as well and there've been some nights where Tubbo has had to track them both sleepily walking around and make sure they don't hurt themselves or drown or something. At least Ranboo is semi-aware when enderwalking and normally just does weird ender things, Tommy likes to apparently walk into oceans or climb the mansion and nearly fall off and wander hundreds of blocks away. Tubbo’s not salty at all, really.

-Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl are 100% salty the benchtrio got platonically married before they got married

-They fight about last names all the time despite none of them actally taking eachothers last name, and if they happen to pick and choose on which one they’re feeling based on mood, well they can do what they want!

-However its agreed Michael’s last name is hyphenated so he’s now ‘Michael Beloved-Underscore-Innit’

These are all I have for now, feel free to ask about it or use my ideas! <3

[boarix]

Wraith in the Ruins: A Fallout 4 Story Part XIV

Gen 4

Trigger warnings: canon violence/language/gun, alcohol and drug use. Animal injury/distress. Death of named/game-canon characters. Suggestive/mature content.

Bloody Mess warning!

Game Spoilers!

Please enjoy!

 “DOWN RANGE! DOWN RANGE!”

“I AM!”

Marcy Long and MacCready stood with their noses practically touching as they yelled into each other’s face.

“And for the last TIME, KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF OF THE TRIGGER! Are you trying to kill me?!”

“You just keep talking that way to me… I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A GUN, YOU ASS!”

“Watch your language you… spoiled… brahmin patty!”

Cait, who was also taking part in the morning lesson, stepped back with an amused smile, “Oi, you two gonna snog or what?”

“I’d just as soon kiss Strong!”

“You should be so lucky, wench!”

Only a few yards away, Sturges, Shaun and Danse worked on Sanctuary’s large walk-in fridge/freezer. Duncan was within their view and was being entertained by both Panther and Dogmeat. As the argument’s volume was increased by Cait’s ire, Sturges had stopped and was alternating concerned looks toward the young boy and frowning deeply at the vocal combatants.

“How is it possible that I’m more annoyed by the sound of folk’s voices than gunfire?”

Danse, his face calm, holding a pipe wrench, walked with determined steps toward the three-way argument.

“Umm, Mr. Sturges… should we…”

“No way kiddo; I wanna see how this plays out.”

Large and imposing, Danse towered over the quarreling trio. Taking in an enormous amount of air, he bellowed at them with as much volume as if they were truant squires hiding in the Prydwen’s engine room, “LOUD NOISES!”

The resulting confused silence was so complete; it seemed as if time had stopped.

Wearing a smug smile, Danse stopped and tousled Duncan’s hair on his way back to work, “Okay, now what where you saying about condensation?”

Marcy holstered her pistol and quickly walked away toward the house she shared with her brother. When she passed Sturges, he could have sworn she was trying not to laugh. Cait was laughing and after a few confused blinks, MacCready joined her.

“Captain Danse, how did you know that was going to work?”

“I have some experience in dealing with difficult children.”

 The day wore on and after morning lessons were over, MacCready surprised Sturges’s group by bringing them all lunch. Sitting together in the warm sun with full stomachs, it was no wonder when they all began to doze off.  

Jerked awake when his head bobbed to his chest, Sturges stood and stretched, his joints popping pleasantly. Smiling at the assorted piles of napping people and animals he debated on whether or not to let them sleep: Duncan was using his father’s chest as a pillow and had a fairly sizable drool pool forming, Dogmeat had draped himself crosswise across Shaun, the two making an almost perfect “X” and Panther was in a cat-loaf on Danse’s chest and stomach, rising and falling with his breath.

“Sleepy synths and friends…” Deciding that there would be plenty of daylight hours left for repair lessons, Sturges sat back down and propped his back against the free-standing fridge. Just as he closed his eyes, Panther began to growl.

The enormous cat grew even larger with every hair on end. Panther had climbed off of Danse’s chest and was now stalking purposefully past the MacCreadys toward the settlement’s northern wall. Dogmeat was following close behind, his deep growl merging with the cat’s creating a sound that was almost harmonic.

“Danse, take my son. Get them all in the fridge. Now!” MacCready had rolled to his stomach and was low in the grass.

Duncan whimpered but allowed the large man to pick him up, “Daddy?”

“It’ll be okay, little man.” Training his eye just above Dogmeat’s head, MacCready could see a slight shimmer in the air as something moved between the houses. “Great. Just, flippin’ wonderful. And of course, I don’t have a walkie!” Unwilling to shoot without a clear target, he watched the ripple advance on the snarling animals, “Speak! Bark, Dogmeat! Call for help!”          

Tilting his muzzle to the heavens, the German shepherd let loose with a long mournful howl.

Phasing into view, the young chameleon deathclaw answered with a challenging roar. Focusing a baleful eye on the sniper, the beast dropped to all fours and leaped.

Rolling out of the way, MacCready vaulted to his feet and ran toward the wall. He hoped to lead it away from the freezer and possibly back through the fence breach. A pained yelp stopped his sprint and he turned to see Dogmeat narrowly avoid a swinging hit, bright blood already flowing down the dog’s right flank.

Panther seemed to fly through the air as it came to the canine’s defense. Once atop the monster’s shoulder, the cat dug in with both fang and front paws, raking the deathclaw’s ribs with its scythe-like rear claws unmercifully.

Taking the opportunity of a stationary, visible target, MacCready fired round after round at the beast’s closest knee.

The deathclaw decided that perhaps this herd was entirely out of his league and that retreat was the best option. Contracting the chromatophores in its skin, the creature blinked out of sight. Raking a claw across its own back, it dislodged Panther and cast the feline into the side of a nearby house.

Danse emerged from the freezer just in time to see the cat hit with a sickening crunch, “NOOOOOO!” Able to see the monster by the damage on its side, he rapidly closed the distance and with every last ounce of his strength, impaled the deathclaw through its wound with the handle of his pipe wrench.

The creature came back into view even as the light left its eyes.

Cradling the still form of Panther in his arms, Danse didn’t even acknowledge his astonishing victory. “CURIE!” Anguish and fear were clear in his voice as he dashed to the clinic.

Waving the all-clear and leaving cleanup to the Minutemen, Sturges and the children watched as MacCready gave Dogmeat a stimpak. The sniper scooped the dog into his arms and they all followed Danse.

“Looks like you’ve earned yourself some stiches too, puppy dog.”

  “Do you have to eat?”

“Wha...?”

“Shaun asked me if you, Bear and Billy have to eat. I told him I didn’t think so, because Billy… are you laughing at me?”

“No! Heh, I would never laugh at you, sunshine.” Hancock’s bed shook slightly, revealing his lie. “Now, strictly speakin’, I’ve never tried going without chow. I enjoy good food. Eating is… pleasurable. And we’re all aware how pleasure-centric I am!”

“Mmmhmmm!” It wasn’t just the ghoul’s own pleasure he focused on. “Ugh… I don’t wanna get up.”

Hancock pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck, “So don’t. I’ll get up in a minute and bring us breakfast. As ghoulish as you are, I know you still need to eat. Heh, we burned a lot of calories last night, you feel me?”

Wraith had spent almost two months in Sanctuary after returning with Duncan MacCready.  The group had stopped on the way to pick up Shaun and Nat and the children had formed fast friendships. Shaun and Duncan were already referring to each other as “brother”.  Nat had been sad when it came time for Wraith to take her home but she held her head high and said her goodbyes with grace. Hancock had tagged along and he and Wraith had continued on to Goodneighbor after. Now, almost a week later, Wraith felt her schedule creeping up on her.

“I’ll have to dine-and-dash; if I’m gonna get to Diamond city by noon.”

“I thought Davidson was on top of things over there. You feel like you gotta babysit ‘im?”

“George is dead.” Wraith sighed, “I don’t have a official replacement yet.”

“Shit…”

A few minutes later, Hancock returned with eggs to find Wraith standing next to his bed, rotating her left shoulder.

“That arm still buggin’ ya?”

“No actually, it’s felt better in the last few days than it has since my surgery. Weird…”

A strange smile appeared on Hancock’s lips, “So your ghoulishness has you heal by radiation, right?”

“A little. Not as much as you… now why are you laughing?”

Doubled over in mirth he could hardly speak, “You… we’ve been… ha ha… a lot… *wheeze*… so you’re… I’m helping…”

Wraith blushed but joined in his laughter, “Sexual healing, huh?”

  “How do you like the new pad?”

Wraith had wanted nothing to do with Kellogg’s property and Piper had tried to gift the home to Valentine and Ellie right after their wedding but they had resisted.  She had suggested that the home could be considered payment for years of dedication to the city and the detective’s aid in locating Wraith’s son. After much debate, they finally relented.

After working on Minutemen affairs for several days, Wraith had been invited to dinner at the Valentine’s. Now, enjoying a quiet meal with her friends, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia; the domesticity reminded her of time before the war.

“It took a while to get the smell out from those darn cigars but it’s nice to have a separate place from the agency.”

“Ellie makes sure we keep all our work at work... keeps the clutter down.”

Wraith smiled as the pair made what could only be described as love-sick googly eyes at each other, “Speaking of work…”

“It’s been fairly steady lately. In fact, I just wrapped something up and surprisingly enough, I don’t have another case that I’ve immediately got to jump on. A little brake will be nice...” As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. When Valentine set his eye to the peephole, his smile vanished, “It’s Edward Deegan…”

“I’m sorry to bother you at home detective but this is a matter of some urgency.”

Valentine stood in the doorway, reluctant to let the ghoul in, “Don’t tell me, Jack’s got another wacko, alien abductee that I’m supposed to interview…”

“No, and I’m sorry about that, but Jack’s been shot.”

Wraith was under the detective’s arm and in Deegan’s face in the blink of an eye, “Is he alive? Who shot him?”

The bodyguard took a surprised step backward and tipped his cap awkwardly, “Oh… ma’am… I didn’t think I’d find the pair of you together… I suppose that’s lucky for me…”

“I’ll pack your kit, Nick. Now invite the man in!”

“I… I’m not getting a say in this, am I?”

 After the destruction of the Institute, Wraith had introduced Dr. Virgil to Jack Cabot in the hopes that he might curb some of Jack’s more “mad scientist” tendencies. The two had apparently hit it off to the point where Virgil was invited to move in and was granted his own lab space. Satisfied that they might keep each other occupied and out of trouble, Wraith had all but forgotten them.

Now allegedly, Virgil had kidnapped Jack’s sister Emogene, shooting her brother when he attempted to intervene.

“That doesn’t sound like Brian to me; he’s really not the violent sort.” Wraith and Valentine moved quickly through the ruins on their way to Cabot House, “He left the Institute because they were hurting people after all.”

Valentine agreed, “His first love has always been his research; doesn’t strike me as the type to lose his marbles over a dame. Let alone run off with her.”

“Someone isn’t telling us the whole truth here.”

“He’s bewitched by her and mad with desire!” Jack was lying in his bed with shoulder in a sling, “I’m not sure why you came here. I told Edward everything that happened. You should be out looking for her! Them… you should be out looking… for them.”

Wraith’s voice was gentle, “Jack, we really want to help but we need a better idea of what happened.”

“She… he shot me. He took them… her! I’m very tired now, please…”

“Mr. Cabot I’ll have no more nonsense today. It’s late and I left half my dinner and my patience at home. Tell us the truth. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell we’ll find them if you’re hiding information. Facts. Now.” Valentine had folded his arms and was glaring at him.

“Jack… they came all this way…”

Wraith was surprised to see fear cross the scientist’s face and tears in his eyes. She reached out to pat his arm, “Hey, it’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you.”

“You might, once you know…” Jack made an attempt at gathered himself but when he spoke, the words tumbled out in a confusing, panicked rush, “Emogene shot me. I know I told you I was going to destroy my father’s body but I was so close to removing the artifact…. His corpse had not even begun to decompose, even after all this time! Virgil and I began research on possible medicinal applications. Emogene was in a fury after I told her the serum would no longer be available and when she found out that we still had his body… she has Virgil! She’s going to make him implant the artifact in her! She hired some…  RUFFIAN THUGS! They took equipment and Brian… I tried to stop her but she… she SHOT ME! You must stop her!”

“Oh… Jack…” Deegan shook his head sadly.

“Am I right in thinking that if this ‘transplant’ is successful, we’re going to have a full-on, telekinetic psychopath running around?”

“Actually, she might be able to propel herself through the air…”

“Oh? Swell.”

Wraith had not spoken and she stood with arms crossed, face like a thunderstorm. “You. Promised. Me.”

Blubbering like an infant, the scientist pleaded for her forgiveness, “You must understand! We were going to save lives! We had you in mind…”

“Oh, no. You were not thinking of me at all.” She turned her back on him, “Ruffian thugs? Do you suppose she hired mercs from Bunker Hill?”

Although Wraith technically owned the trading hub, she left most of the day-to-day to Kessler. The Minutemen were responsible for security and Hancock managed trade routes, barter agreements and the regulation of independent mercenaries. Kessler made regular reports to the ghoul and if there were matters of concern, Hancock would usually take care of them.  

“Stands to reason, options are limited now that you’ve nixed the Gunners.” Valentine gave a mirthless laugh, “She’s not going to go to the Minutemen for help.”

Deegan seemed surprised when Wraith headed for the door, “You’re going now? It’s the middle of the night!”

“I’m sorry; did you not just hear what’s going on?!” She motioned for the ghoul to follow, “You are coming with.”

“Edward! Promise me… promise me you’ll save her!”

“Jack… I promise.”

 “They didn’t come back yet.” Irritated at being awoken, the usually helpful Kessler was giving clipped answers through a clenched jaw, “I don’t know where they were going either.”

“How many mercs? What group?” Wraith wasn’t about to back down.

“Everybody’s filing nice, neat records now that John’s keeping tabs on the place, right? Just point us to the company cabinet and we’ll get out of your hair.”

Kessler frowned, “I can’t let just anyone…”

“Am I ‘just anyone’?” Wraith’s tone was steel.

As if she suddenly remembered who she was speaking to, the now pale Kessler briskly led them to the correct file cabinet, “If you need anything else…” Trailing off, she retreated back to her bedroom.

“Found it; ‘equipment and resource allocation and relocation’ for E. C. Looks like they were heading to Vault Ninety-five. You familiar, partner?”

“Yes, I’ve been there. They might be planning on repurposing the vault’s medical equipment.” Wraith stifled a yawn, “That’s a helluva ways from here…”

“They have a big head start too...”

“Brahmincart!” Wraith smacked a fist into her palm.

“Bless you…”

“No, no; I mean that we’ll head back through Diamond city, grab some more heavy-duty ordnance and sleep in the wagon on our way down to Somerville Place.”

“It’s too bad the Hounds don’t have more… hounds.”

Wraith was surprised, “You would ride puppy-back, Val?”

“Sure! You only live once, right?”

 Wraith set a blistering pace on the return to the ballpark. Outfitting themselves and hitching up the fastest possible brahmin team took longer than she would have liked; making the prevention of the transplant seem less likely. The delay strengthened her resolve for an upcoming conversation with Deegan that she knew neither of them would enjoy.

“I want you to take this,” The trio had just finished a perimeter sweep of the vault and Wraith wasn’t sure if she should be concerned or relieved that there wasn’t a posted guard. She handed the ghoul an anti-materiel rifle, “It’s technically Mac’s birthday present so… maybe don’t mention it to him if you get to use it first.”

“What exactly do you want me to do with this?!”

“I want you to stay here. Stay well back from the entrance. It’s the only way in or out, so if she gets past us…”

“Now wait just a damn minute! I promised Jack I was going to save his sister, not turn her into red mist!”

“I know you might think that an AMR is overkill…”

“You’re FUCKING RIGHT I DO!”

“You won’t if that gal comes floating out of that vault and comes straight at you!” Despite his scolding tone, Valentine’s face was sad, “We are talking about telekinetic powers; she might have a debris-field shield. You’ll be thankful of a gun designed to destroy military equipment.”

“And that it’s precision enough that it won’t completely annihilate everything else around… her.”

“I can’t, Wraith.” The family’s bodyguard for over two centuries, Deegan could not picture himself pulling the trigger, “I know she can be a… a handful. But she’s not some monster; she’s not her father!”

 Wraith grabbed the large ghoul’s substantial biceps and gave them a squeeze, “Who knows what it’s been whispering to her. She already shot Jack. If she comes out of that vault first, then Val, Virgil and I will be dead and she won’t be Emogene Cabot anymore.”

 The elevator ride down was a tense affair. When the door slid open, Wraith and Valentine stood well back, weapons drawn and ready to fight.

“Who iiiiisssssss it?”

Wraith jumped as an oddly tinny and sibilant voice seemed to come from just behind her ear, “Emogene? Is that you?”

“Of course, lovely. Don’t be coy.” She seemed amused, laughing unpleasantly, “I came to greet you. I just knew Jack would send his two favorite gumshoes.”

Feeling an intense malevolent force emanating from the next room, Wraith reluctantly holstered her revolver and stepped forward into the atrium with her hands raised, “Emogene, Jack is worried abou…”

“DON’T LIE!” Looking once again as if she was in her early twenties, Emogene stood midway down the stairs. Her face momentarily twisted in fury as she interrupted, “That selfish fool only cares about himself.”

“Well, at least she’s not floating.” Valentine had exited the elevator to stand next to Wraith.

“That’s not true; he sent us here to save you.”

“Save me? Oh, dear we are confused, aren’t we? I’m not the one who needs saving, Wraith.” Continuing her decent, the woman moved with an almost snake-like sinuousness, “Just look! I’ve been reborn!”

“Where is Virgil, Ms. Cabot? I would very much like to see how the good doctor is fairing.” Valentine kept his hands raised as well, “We aren’t here to raise a ruckus; I think your family and friends are all a little worried.”

Now only a few feet from Wraith, Emogene locked eyes with her and completely ignored the detective, “I’m immortal, Wraith and brimming with power. I can feel it move through me. It feels so good.” She ran her eyes over her from toe to crown, “I can feel you… you’re like me. I don’t know how... Join with me. Spend an eternity with me. Be mine.”

“That’s… very flattering but I’m in love...”

“Yes. The ghoul… he’ll join us as well. John Hancock is rumored to be the Commonwealth’s most proficient lover. I’ll have him.” A pensive look crossed her face, “I have no use for your common human male, however. The mercenary is worthless.”

Wraith fought hard against a building anger. “Where is Brian? Where are the mercenaries that you hired?”

“They are no longer worth my consideration. You will grow out your hair; I want something to hold on to…”

“That’s enough!” Valentine lowered his hands, his anger getting the best of him, “Leave her be!”

“Mind your tone synth! You who threw his immortality away! And for what…”

“Love. Love, Emogene.” Standing tall, he lifted his chin with pride, “Haven’t you gotten tired of watching the folks you love grow old and pass on without you? The pain of almost continuous loss? Scared to see love die so you stop looking for it; only to become blind to it?”

“Weren’t you and Brian together? Don’t you care for him?”

“This fool?” Casting her eyes upward, she fanned her fingers and Virgil descended from the ceiling to hang over their heads like a marionette, “I believe I’ve told you; he is of no consideration.”

Wraith moved under the suspended doctor and raised her hands as if to catch him, “Brian! Can you hear me?” Overcome with a sense of impending doom she sent a pleading look to Emogene, “Please set him down. It looks like he’s choking!”

“Ms. Cabot, you can’t want this…”

“You know nothing of us!”

Emogene made an almost negligent twisting motion with her hands and Wraith watched in helpless horror, as Brian Virgil’s head was slowly torn from his neck. Although he couldn’t cry out, his eyes spoke of the intense fear and pain. Blood spewed violently forth, raining down on Wraith like a macabre waterfall.

Valentine drew his revolver and fired in the space of a breath but even that was too slow. Flicking her hand as if swatting a fly, the possessed woman cast the bullet aside.

“Tch… covered in that fool’s worthless bile… Worry not, I’ll wash you clean with my love. Join me, pet.”

Fighting her berserker’s rage, Wraith stuttered over her words as she shook, “For… how long? When will you get bored, hmm? Tear… tear my… my head OFF LIKE A CAP ON A FUCKING NUKA COLA?!”

“You don’t know what love is. You’re bitter and cruel, Emogene.”

“Fucking bitch.”

“So… ‘No’, is it?”

Raising herself from the floor, Emogene tucked her body into a fetal position even as the air shimmered and distorted around her. Raising the temperature through the power of the artifact, flames gathered around her until she resembled a small star. Then, reaching her limit, she flung her limbs outward, casting a powerful shockwave that ripped through the room.

Valentine was sent flying, coming down hard amongst debris that impaled him through his lower abdomen.

Wraith left a streak of Virgil’s blood as she was thrown violently across the floor. Caroming hard off of the wall between the stairs, she gasped as the air was knocked from her lungs.

It might take a monster…

Vaulting to her feet before she could even breathe, Wraith ran straight at her enemy. Just before reaching her, she activated a stealth-boy and vanished. Positioning herself behind the unconscious detective, she checked to make sure he was still breathing. After administering a stimpak and dosing herself with Med-X, she moved closer to the vault’s entryway security office.

As soon as she lost sight of Wraith, Emogene pulled items to her, including the remains of Virgil, and sent them spinning and flying around her in a protective shield.

I guess Val called that one…

Drawing both her revolver and Kremvh’s tooth, Wraith hooked a can on her toe and kicked it at the floating psychopath. Still under the effects of the stealth-boy she changed position again trying to find any available shadow in the fire-lit atrium.

“Come now, Wraith. We expected more from you!” Cackling madly, Emogene caught the can and settled back to the floor, “Death-in-the-Shadow! Ha! We know how to draw you out.”  Blood flowed freely from Valentine’s wound as soon as Emogene lifted him.

Seeing him dangle in the air with his life ebbing rapidly away, Wraith lost control. Unloading a clip from her .44, she then threw the gun and dagger before casting around for a larger projectile. Had she kept her senses she might have noticed that her enemy seemed to be having trouble with the volume of items she was mentally controlling. Instead, Wraith lifted a bed, stacked it on yet another bed, and heaved them like a spear.

The detective was dropped unceremoniously to the ground as Emogene instinctually lifted both hands to block the furniture. Her eyes widened in surprise when she was punched in the stomach.

Growling menacingly, Wraith kicked her for good measure. Picking up a bedframe she brought it down hard but the other woman was able to roll away.

Stunned, hurt and suddenly afraid, Emogene’s thoughts turned to escape. Levitating and propelling herself through the vault’s entryway she slammed the elevator call button.

Wraith saw her smirk just as the doors slid shut between them.

  “Val! Wake up! Stay with me, partner.”

“Uuugghhhh?”

“Oh, thank you. Here, have some water.” Wraith held the detective in her lap as she helped him drink, “What’s your pain level; how do you feel?”

“I feel… I feel like the south end of a northbound brahmin.” He blinked groggily, “What in the world happened?”

“You were skewered on some junk and I lost my head. I think I was whipping stuff at her but… she escaped. I know that much at least.”

“She took the elevator topside?! We have to go… uggghhh…” Making as if to stand, he was overcome by weakness and sagged back into Wraith’s embrace.

“Take it easy! You’ve lost a lot of blood.” She gently squeezed him, “I did my best to fix you up but you’re going to be weak for a while. I think the wire missed anything super necessary but I’m worried about infection. Heh, when was your last tetanus shot?”

“Never would have thought I’d need one.” He smiled weakly up at her, “Thanks for patching me up for the hundredth time.”

She kissed his forehead, “Remember these gentle feelings toward me when I have to make you climb out of here.”

“Climb…”

“Emogene destroyed the elevator car.”

“Oh? Swell.”

 Despite what she had said, Wraith had no intention of making Valentine climb the cable to the surface. Instead, she proposed tying him to her in some way and hauling them both up, with the aid of chems, hand over hand.

“No, Wraith.”

“Okay…”

“That‘s a terrible idea and not just because of the Buffout.”

Eyebrows pitched she shook her head and swept her hands out in front of her, “So, you have a better one?”

“Check your Pip-boy; they ought to have had some sort of parallel access shaft for maintenance and elevator repair, right?”

“Ummm…” Studying the maps on her device, a slight flush crept across her cheeks, “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”

Valentine chuckled, “Because you were gung-ho about showing off your Marine rope climbing skills?”

“I was really good at it; no legs all arms.” The screen cast a green glow on her face and she bit her lip as she concentrated. “It looks… it looks like you’re right.”

“Naturally.”

“Still, it’s a ladder. That’s going to be a lot of climbing...”

“I’m not going to let you truss me up to dangle from you like a bindle!”

 The trip up was long and arduous. Valentine went first so that if he lost his grip, Wraith might catch him. And they had to make frequent stops so the weakened detective could gather what little strength he could to make it “just one more floor”.

At one point, noticing how hard he was breathing, Wraith climbed up and positioned her limbs around him, “Let go and rest, Val. I won’t let you fall; your wife would never forgive me.”

“Would… I… be… a… good father?”

Despite the lack of context, she didn’t even hesitate, “Yup. You’d make the best pop ever!”

“Don’t even… know if… we can…”

“Worth a shot, right?” Wraith felt herself start to choke up, “If not, there are a few kids without parents that would be very happy to be Valentines.”

“It’s… a little… I’m scared actually.”

“Of course! You wouldn’t be the responsible Detective Nick Valentine if you didn’t appreciate the gravity of the situation.”

“Uhhgg… don’t mention gravity!”

 Once on the surface, Wraith carried the now unconscious Valentine to Somerville Place. The clinic there was small, and he would need follow-up care but the medic was proficient and the detective was soon stable and resting comfortably.

“We have a problem, General Wraith.” The settlement’s head had pulled her aside and pointed toward the river, “That Edward Deegan fella is still here. He’s drunk, scary and won’t leave.”

“Oh…”

When the ghoul saw her he couldn’t stop the smile of relief that crossed his scarred face. It was quickly replaced by anger and he staggered to his feet and rushed her while pointing a shaking finger at her face, “You! YOU ASS!” Balling up his fist, it looked as if he might strike her. Instead he started to sob and dropped to his knees, “Why… why did I have to kill her?”

“Deegan… I’m so sorry…”

“No… I… this is all my fault. I was supposed to protect them. How could I let this happen?! How will I ever tell Jack?”

“I will be there with you when you do. I’ll help you.” She set a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Physical labor and cleaning.”

“What… what?”

“Two things that help me work through grief. While I’m waiting on the transport for Val I’m going back in the vault to get Virgil’s remains.”

Deegan watched her walk away for a minute before sighing deeply and following after.

 Later, Wraith sat in a chair next to Valentine’s bed, trying to decide if she had failed. Waking up, he reached out and patted her hand.

“Doll face, don’t go thinking that you’re somehow to blame for this.”

“I didn’t make sure Jack destroyed his father’s body. I didn’t make sure the artifact was destroyed or hidden or…”

“You trusted them, that’s not on you.”

“You can’t trust everyone…”

“You,” He flinched as he sat up straighter, “you sound like Deacon.”

“Yeah…” She faked a smile; trying to put on a brave face for her friend, “I sent a courier so there should be a cart here soon. The ride back to the city is going to be a little rough…”

“Suppose I’ll just have to have some more Med-X, huh?”

“Shocking! Detective Valentine on chems!”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t tell John, he’ll never let me hear the end of it. Also, Wraith… the caps on Nuka Cola aren’t supposed to be twist-off…”

 When Hancock didn’t answer her knock, Fahrenheit took a deep centering breath before letting herself into his office. Her relief to see he wasn’t engaged in anything embarrassing quickly dissipated when she saw the melancholy look on his face. Seated at his desk, he stared out a window with a letter in his hand and an empty container of Mentats at his elbow.

“That a letter from Wraith?”

Jerking slightly he turned and smiled at her, “Oh, hey Fahr. Did I miss a meeting?”

“No. It’s been a while since Wraith left and you’ve a tendency to become… lugubrious, the longer you’re without her.”

He smiled at her verbiage, “Fancy depression, huh?”

“Yes. I try to make it a point to check in on you.” She stabbed a finger at the letter, “What is that?”

Irritation and sadness passed over his face, “It’s a update from the Sunglassed Ass.”

“Things are bad.”

“No, no they’re just fine… don’t really want to talk about him…”

“Very well, would you like to play chess?”

“Always!”    

A few minutes into the game Fahrenheit noticed that the ghoul was toying with a defeated pawn. It was unlike him to fidget during matches and combined with his obvious distress over the letter she decided to push the issue. Subtly of course.

“Regrets over your gambit?”

“Hmm?” He frowned at the piece in his hand before setting it back on the table, “Sorry, I took too much and now I’m spinnin’ in my mental loop.”

“It’s interesting what some individuals consider acceptable loss.” Advancing her knight she took another pawn, “That’s why I think Deacon would have been a worthy opponent; his agenda is paramount. Very few distractions.”

Hancock scoffed, “Unless you count Wraith.”

“Did he?”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Right.”

Suddenly standing, the mayor crossed his hands behind his back and began to pace, “He’s always been a pain in my ass; showin’ up outta nowhere… but he was here. Helping. I’ve been a part of the Railroad since I took over but he’s always made sure no one knew. He told Wraith that I ‘turn a blind eye’...”

“Lies from a liar.”

“You know, he was on this faux fruit kick for a bit; would leave bananas in my boots. Complete fuckin’ nonsense from him, all the time…”

“The balloons.” The memory made her frown.

“Exactly! So why is it that I’m missing him being… here?” He was gesticulating wildly now, “I’ll fuckin’ tell you why; Wraith! She loves him! I know she does. And he loves her. And I love her. If she can love someone, then there must be some worth to ‘em.”

“It’s interesting how you don’t apply the same logic to yourself…”

He dismissed her with a wave, “She would have died without his help. It’s possible that, at some point I could have been axed, had he not been there to prevent it!”

“And so, what?”

“He could have come back by now. He’s repaired their infrastructure, set up new safe houses, appointed new agents… He’s not comin’ back though. You know why?”

“Do tell.”

“Because he knows that he loves her and that is dangerous. And he doesn’t think that he’s good enough. He told me himself he doesn’t deserve…”

Fahrenheit’s laugh was humorless, “This from the ghoul who staged a fight with her because, ‘it’s what’s best for her’.” She drummed her nails on the chessboard in irritation, “She is one of the most capable people I’ve ever met, and you foolish men treat her like a child.”

Looking abashed, Hancock sat back down, “Suppose… yeah.”

“Your self-sabotage knows no bounds, does it?” She leaned forward and caught his eye, “Do you really want him to return, profess his love and carry her off into the sunset? Do you find her so fickle? Nonsense indeed!” Leaning back she folded her arms, “No, she’s chosen you and MacCready; may the heavens have mercy!”

“I’m being stupid.”

“You… need her. She levels you out.”

“Sorry, Fahr. Wanna finish the match?”

“No. I see the empty box of Mentats, there’s no way I could defeat you tonight. This was a ruse.”

He feigned shock, “Using my beloved chess against me? No Fahr, tonight you definitely defeated me.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Hancock froze. He stood up. He sat back down only to stand up immediately again.

“You… going to keep doing that?”

“Baby?”

“Yes, potentially; if the pregnancy is successful, I will give birth to a baby.”

He sat back down, “Baby?”

“Oh, boy... It’s going to be like that, huh?”

He stood back up and began rushing around his office, grabbing various items and putting them in his coat pockets, “We should leave right now!”

Alarmed and confused she stood up as well, “Leave and go where? Hancock? Hey stop! Dad, stop!”

“You… called me… you called me dad?”

Taking his scarred hands in hers, she led him to the couch, “Yes, dad. Leave and go where?”

“Sanctuary. Amari doesn’t have ultrasound. Pregnant daughter needs ultrasounds.”

“All those chems and I still managed to shock your intelligence down to a super mutant’s.” She pulled him to her and hugged him tightly, “I’ve already talked to Amari; she sent a letter to Curie and everything will be fine.”

“Does Michael know?”

“Yes, this was all carefully thought out and planned.”

“Of course.” He sniffled, fighting tears.

“You can cry if you want, grandpa.”

So he did.

  “… and daddy and Pants-her and Doggy and Mr. Cap’n all fought it! The kitty was hurt bad and Mr. Cap’n was very sad but he’s all better now and Curie is a really good docker!”

“Wow Dunk, that sounds scary!”

The small boy puffed his chest, “No I wasnit, Waif! Daddy ‘nd Mr. Cap’n are really good and Shaun was there!”

“Thank you very much for telling me.”

Wraith held Duncan’s hand as he and Shaun escorted her from Sanctuary’s main gate. She had already been updated when she met with Cait at the Red Rocket but she enjoyed his enthusiastic story-telling.

“Your daddy on duty?”

“Yup. He’s the best shooter-man!”

“He sure is, honey.”

“Hey grandma, Curie says she needs to talk to you as soon as you got back.”

“Okay,” Passing Duncan’s hand to his she stopped and stared hard at Shaun, “You grew.”

“Jeez, grandma! You say that like it’s bad.”

“I’ll have to measure you again… ugh. That’s it; I’m teaching you both to sew!”

Shaun laughed, “If I’m making my own clothes does that mean that they can look however I want?”

She stuck out her hand, “Deal!”

 After visiting briefly with MacCready, Wraith jogged to the clinic. The loveseat in Curie’s office was over-full with napping Danse, Panther and Dogmeat. Wraith stifled a giggle as all three were snoring.

“Psst! Madame…” Curie waved Wraith into her lab, embracing her once she was inside, “Bonjour! I am so very happy to see you return safe.”

“Thanks, Baby Bird. Shaun said you wanted to see me?”

Suddenly nervous, Curie knit her fingers together and held them to lips, “I have made a discovery. It might be shocking to you, so please sit.”

“Uh, oh. What is it?”

Pulling another chair across form Wraith’s, the doctor sat and reached out to hold her hands, “We have long suspected that Panther was a synth, oui? As you probably know le chat was gravely injured defending against the deathclaw. Mon ours was so distraught!” She frowned at the memory, “I did my best and thankfully I was able to save our dear friend.”

“Thank you, Curie. We all love that cat.”

Curie’s face was grave, “I analyzed some of the blood samples I obtained, for science, and I found that…”

“Tell me.”

“DNA from your late husband was used to create Panther.”

“Yes, I know.”

Shocked, Curie’s mouth worked, opening and shutting as she tried to find the words, “How… who… when?”

“Okay, probably should re-phrase that. I have long suspected that at some point Father would have harvested some of Nate’s… information.” Wraith smiled, “I know it sounds odd but when I first saw Panther, my thought was ‘that’s Nate’.”

“Why have you never told me this? I could have verified for you…”

Wraith took her by the shoulders and hugged her again, “Don’t worry about it! The cat isn’t literally him… Sure they act alike in some respects but… No, it’s fine. I will always love Nate. He is gone now though, and I have done my best to move on. I can’t be always looking for his shadow in everyone I meet.”

“That is most poetic, madame.”

“Thanks, Baby Bird.” Wraith stood up, “Was there anything else? I need to go meet with Sofie.”

“Mademoiselle Fahrenheit is pregnant and Ellie Valentine as well.”

Wraith sat back down.

  Thank you so much for reading! Like what you read? Looking for more? Please see my master-link post tagged under Wraith in the Ruins in my bio. As always, if you have any questions/comments/concerns, my ask is open to you. Anon too! I’d love to hear from you. =^..^=

[lyrasilverose]

Fuck today

I was actually having a pretty solid day.  It was gonna be long, I knew that, but it was going well and I was swimming through it pretty well.  Things at work have been the normal amount of frustrating, but I was excited about my new schedule that was set to start in a week. 

And then.  My aunt, for whom I work, did not show up to work.  At all.  She had promised to be here by 2:30 (well, 2, but I knew she’d be late, so I had planned for 2:30) so I could go home and get my kid.  She forgot.  I arranged something with a different staff member to cover the desk, which unfortunately cost her a client for the day (and more money) so I could go get said child.

I called my aunt, because frankly I was a pretty even mix of concerned (I had not heard from her today) and angry.  She was apparently napping when I reached her.  Book club went late last night, you see, (and I’m sure she drank an assload of wine, too) and she was tiiiiiired.  Then I expressed that I was angry.  This is where it went sideways.  Apparently I’m “always playing the victim,” and have made the “entire staff’s schedule revolve around me.”  Mind you, I am supposed to work 10-3 M-F and have been working 9:30-??? for who knows how long.  I never know when I’m going to be off, I never know when she’s going to show up, and I am left to run the business in her absence, but with virtually no actual power and limited knowledge of agreements she’s made with people/other businesses/etc.

She’s going to some woo-ass “Doctor” who prescribes homeopathic nonsense and does muscle testing to determine if you’re allowed to eat eggs, and now she wants to drag her brother (my uncle) who is currently scheduled for OPEN HEART SURGERY in another week in to see him because this dude things that the cardiologists and surgeons are wrong and he just needs... a hug, I guess?  I mean, she keeps saying stem cell therapy, but as far as I can find out, this guy doesn’t DO stem cell therapy (I’ve checked his website along with any other info I can find online).  And my uncle?  Not woo.  Not even woo adjacent.  But fuck it, right?  Cancel that surgery, and let’s see if his arms are weak when he holds a loaf of fucking bread.  She’s been pissing blood for weeks (so she tells me) and as far as I am aware (and I am much, much too aware of her personal nonsense) this Doc hasn’t so much as taken a urine sample.  He told her to stop doing heavy lifting (the heaviest thing I’ve seen her lift in the last year is a case of water bottles) and take more time for herself.

She has no grasp of how to run a business.  She doesn’t understand that being a small business owner means you don’t get days off, or downtime.  Especially when you can’t or won’t pay someone to take care of a lot of the daily operations.  She refuses to have an employee handbook, or approve any of the THREE I’ve already written.  She refuses to acknowledge any of the business advice she’s gotten from anyone, including the afore-mentioned uncle, who has owned and run more than one successful business in the past.  She abuses the goodwill of the people around her and just takes and takes and takes.  She does wildly inappropriate and downright illegal things, like handing a W-2 out to some random person who claimed to be the mother of one of our former employees.  When told that it was illegal, she rolled her eyes.  We finally got the FEDERALLY REQUIRED postings put up last month.  We opened more than two years ago.  She will get sued into the ground at some point, and it’s totally preventable. 

She’s always whining that she doesn’t get any time off, shows up late on the regular.  Sometimes catastrophically late.  I am forever putting out fires for the staff and the business while she’s not around.  Staff treats me as management, but I have no authority to actually make any decisions regarding them, so fuck me, I guess.  Oh, and up until his hip replacement and subsequent cardiac issues, she relied on my uncle to work 25+ hours a week for free.  Since he is no longer available, yeah, she’s had to be around more. So have I.  Only difference is that I get paid for the time I’m there, an expense the business can barely afford, as I’m constantly reminded.  But she won’t come work those hours herself, she needs downtime!

Speaking of the finances.  We were finally solvent.  We were making money.  Two years in for a small business, and in the black is a HUGE DEAL.  Then she goes and buys a $2,500 “vibroacoustic table” which is just a special massage table with a waterbed on it and speakers that make it vibrate.  I can’t sell that shit to people, nobody wants to lay there for an hour and be wiggled to the tunes of hippie flutes and drums.  It’s taking up an entire room (where we could put a massage therapist, but not now!) and tons of electricity, since we constantly have to run the heaters to keep the water from going cold.  She also hired an SEO company who, thus far, have done jack all and keep asking us for access to things we apparently don’t have the passwords to?  Like, we don’t, apparently, own the administrator account for our website.  And she doesn’t know how to get that or who might have it.  Which is fucking scary.  I’ve been informed we do not have the money for new towels, sheets, various cleaning products, light bulbs, and similar items, however.  Regularly. 

She’s not paying overtime, even when people work it.  42 hours in a week, but 0 overtime hours?  Hmmm, how does that work.  Keep in mind here that I’m a part-time employee who’s only scheduled to work 10-3 5 days a week, which, for people who don’t wanna do the math, is 25 hours a week.  Again, fuck me, I guess?  And I KNOW I’m not the only one getting fucked like this, so again, it’s only a matter of time until she gets sued into the ground.

Half our business correspondence is routed to her personal email, which only she has access to, and yet it’s somehow my fault when shit that goes in there doesn’t get actioned.  She fails to respond to business contacts and then gets angry with me for not, um, babysitting her and making sure she did it, I guess?  Anything that comes in to the business email or over the phones requires that I print it out, date it, put it directly in front of her, and repeatedly remind her of it, while she gets increasingly waspish about me “nagging” her.  So I get shit on from both sides, because I’ve told Person A she’d call them back, and they’re mad at me because she didn’t, and she’s mad at me because she doesn’t like being reminded to Do. Her. Damn. Job.

I’ve worked countless free hours, because it’s family and I’m too damn nice.  I get in at 9:30 every morning, and don’t clock in until 10.  I clock out at close, even when I stay late to work on shit.  Which goes unappreciated, because I get paid the rest of the time, I guess?  I can’t afford to work for free, I have a family and a life that requires money, like most people.

I just got screamed at for being “snarky”.  Because I have spent the last two months desperately trying to get through to her about some of the things I’ve just spent the last half hour ranting about, and she just... doesn’t hear it.  And so my tone has been steadily declining into snark.  She asks for help with things, then when I try to explain, for example, how to use Gmail (which is so intuitive it hurts), she randomly clicks shit and talks over me about unrelated nonsense and refuses to listen, then gets pissed that my tone starts to slide.  I do not have infinite patience.  I just don’t.  Especially when the person I’m trying to help just doesn’t seem to want it. 

TL;DR My boss is a mess, I’m related to her, and my life is about to explode.  So that’s fun, I guess

[hekate1308]

Like Fathers, Like Son

A while ago, I made a post that said Dean and Crowley looked like a set of angry parents in a scene, and I wrote an AU version of that, but @thayerkerbasy, @wheresurmoose and @sent-by-hael seemed to wish for a canon version, so here goes. This is basically crack. Enjoy! 

“This time, I am going to gank you for real“ Dean hissed through gritted teeth.

“Keep it down, Squirrel, would you? I hardly imagine Mr. and Mrs. Albert would like to hear one of the spouses they have invited to “clear the air” threatening the other one.”

“This is all your fault.”

“I fail to see how.”

“According to Roderick, you were the one to teach him one should always honour one’s deals –“

“One should” Crowley said firmly.

Dean rolled his eyes. “And because of that, your son thought it was alright to humiliate the boy in front of the whole school – “

“He’s my son now? Are you trying to make me a single parent again?”

Dean sighed. There were days where he thought there had been some logical reasoning behind his decision to marry the King of Hell and have a child with him... and others when he realized that this had, indeed, been the worst idea of his life.

Today was decidedly one of the latter.

“I do admit I am impressed that he managed to make every screen in school show it when the bucket of fake blood dropped on him and he screamed in panic” Crowley drawled.

“Please tell me you didn’t tell him that.”

A pause.

“Oh God, do you know how I’m going to look in his eyes when I tell him he can’t do that now?”

“You have to admit, for a seven-year-old it was a rather elaborate scheme –“

“That’s not helping!” The only reason Dean managed not to shout was that Mr. And Mrs. Albert were getting them snacks and he and Crowley were sitting in their utterly mundane living room. “We are raising a child not the next King of the crossroads.”

“Technically, he’s first in line to the throne –“

“Not that again!”

“I distinctly recall you liking it when I force demons to call you Prince –“

“Crowley, can we talk about this at home? Right now we have to look like a normal suburban couple.”

Crowley huffed. “God knows what exactly is it that makes suburbia so tempting to those people. Look at that carpet.”

“We don’t all have your money.”

“Our money, and again, I don’t recall you complaining about it before –“

“I’m not complaining. I just want our child to grow up a good man –“

“Dean, there is no doubt in my mind he will.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he has you for a father.”

And once again, Dean felt his anger melting away because Crowley was being sweet. “Damn you” he muttered.

Crowley took his hand and kissed it. “Don’t worry, darling; everything will be fine.”

“That’s easy for you to say” he muttered.

“Yes it is because if this gets too much, I can simply –“

“Don’t ruin the moment. Again.”

Crowley looked at him, the picture of innocence. Dean almost laughed but managed to stay serious.

Mr. and Mrs. Albert returned with the snacks.

“Now, Mr. and Mr. Winchester” Mrs. Albert began, “We do understand that this happened because John asked Roderick to do his homework, and then declined to pay him in candy. We have talked to him about it, and we will see to it that something like this doesn’t happen again. But still, we can’t help but feel that Roderick’s revenge for a better word was a little... a little...” she trailed off.

“Vindictive?” Crowley suggested, a gleam in his eyes.

Really, Dean couldn’t take his husband anywhere.

“Yes” she said.

“You see –“ Crowley began but Dean interrupted him before he could say something they would both regret.

“We have talked to him about it, and trust me, we will again” he said, glaring at his husband, “And he will understand that he is not to play such pranks on his classmates.”

The Alberts didn’t relax. “We’re glad to hear it” Mr. Albert said, “but at the same time I have to admit – that is we have to say –“

“John says Roderick tells all kinds of stories, stories that scare the other children” Mrs. Albert said determinedly.

Dean sighed. Dear God, what now? “What do you mean by that?”

“As a matter of fact, we were slightly concerned –“ Mr. Albert glanced at Crowley “You see, Roderick was adamant that his father was the King of Hell, and that the demons had to obey him. I understand that every child has his or her fantasies, but that seems a little dark to me.”

“Oh yes” Dean said quickly, “He loves inventing stories like that. The other day he made up that one where I was saving a bus like in the movie Speed –“

“Still. He also said that if the other kids were mean to him, and I quote, “My Father is going to send our hell hound after you.”

“I wouldn’t call Juliet a hell hound” Crowley said, turning to Dean, “She’s a sweetheart, wouldn’t you agree, darling.”

That bastard. Dean was definitely going to kill him this time.

“Juliet is a very nice dog” he pressed out, well aware that when they returned to the bunker, she would already have slept in their bed again.

“So you see, it’s just make-believe” Crowley continued pleasantly.

“That may be, but it’s not very normal make-believe, is it” Mrs. Albert said.

“Isn’t that the point of inventing stories? To get away from then normalcy of everyday life?” Crowley asked.

Damn, he could be smooth when he wanted to be. Small wonder Dean had eventually caved when he had kept proposing marriage.

And then adoption.

“But don’t you think insisting he’s the spawn of Satan is a bit –“

“He didn’t say Satan, he said King of Hell” Crowley pointed out, actually looking slightly offended that anyone would compare him to Lucifer.

This was going great.

“What’s the difference?” Mr. Albert asked indignantly.

“Well, the devil –“

“Crowley” Dean said as calmly as he could.

“And that’s another thing” Mr. Albert said, “What kind of name is Crowley?”

Bad idea. Extremely bad idea. Crowley was rather fond of the name he had picked for himself – even though he had taken on the last name Winchester once they had been married, much to the dismay of his subjects.

“It’s my name. I don’t see how there is anything weird about it.”

“You don’t? It’s freaking strange, that what it is –“

“James –“ Mrs. Albert tried –

“Sorry, love, but I’m done with all these strange stories John comes home with every night. Demons! Ghosts! Ghostbusters!”

Dean doubted that Roderick had actually used that word. His son knew a hunter when he saw one, and the Ghostbusters had always struck them as amateurs.

“I think” Crowley said slowly, “You should calm down.”

Dean laid his hand on his thigh and squeezed, hoping to calm him down.

Sadly, the movement only seemed to egg Mr. Albert on. “What I am trying to say is, if you freaks have to have children, can’t you –“

“If you just truly called my husband a freak, I suggest you take it back right now” Crowley said, still eerily calm, but Dean knew what would follow if Mr. Albert didn’t do the smart thing and apologize.

He hadn’t been bothered when people called him freak for a long time now. There were some things you had to accept if you married a demon, and being a freak was one opf them.

As long as it got him such spectacular sex as they’d had last night, he didn’t mind one bit.

“Why should I take it back? Look what you’re doing to your son! I’m tempted to call the authorities so he can get help, far away from you crazy –“

Both he and Mrs. Albert were pinned against the nearest wall. Dean sighed. “Really?”

“Sorry, darling” Crowley kissed his hand again, “You know how I get.”

“Don’t I just” he breathed. “Just make it quick, okay?”

“Don’t worry about it” Crowley said, kissing him.

He stood up and advanced towards the Alberts, slowly showing his demon eyes. “Let me make one thing perfectly clear. You are not to call either my husband or our son “freaks”. Me? I couldn’t care less what you call me, although I would appreciate it if you could use my titole, so “Your Majesty” it is, if you ever have the misfortune to run into me again.”

He studied their faces, enjoying their terrified expressions. “So here is what’s going to happen. Your son will never bother ours again. Roderick certainly won’t do the homework of anyone who doesn’t keep up their part of the deal. In fact, John won’t speak to Roderick at all unless Roderick speaks to him first. And if he makes any attempt to retaliate... Remember, I know where you live, and Juliet can indeed be a hell hound when she is in a mood...”

He waved his right hand and they slid down on the floor. “Now. Did I make myself clear?”

When they didn’t answer, he repeated the question. Eventually Mrs. Albert managed to squeak affirmatively.

Crowley nodded. “Your wife is definitely cleverer than you, Mr. Albert. I would listen to her in the future. Let’s go, Squirrel.”

And with a snap of his fingers, they were in their bedroom.

“You – you – “ Dean cleared his throat. “You’re lucky that was damn hot.”

Crowley grinned.

“Don’t give me that look, mister.”

“What look?” Crowley asked innocently, looping his fingers around the belt loops in Dean’s jeans and pulling him towards him.

He didn’t really resist.

Two hours later, Sam knocked on the door. “Are you done yet? I think I have been looking after your kid while you’re having sex long enough!”

He’d woken Dean up from a nap, and he hid his face in Crowley’s shoulder and groaned.

“Guys –“

“We’re coming, bitch. And thanks for babysitting.”

“Any time, jerk.”

“Guess we have to go and be responsible parents now” Dean sighed.

“Why? I handled it.”

“That may be, but Roderick can’t run around telling the kids the truth. Eventually someone will notice.”

“I guess you’re right” Crowley conceded.

“And nothing” Dean said firmly “Of that “good prank!” stuff, do you hear?”

Crowley sighed.

Roderick was reading Treasure Island in the library. Dean couldn’t help but smile proudly. Their kidn was smart.

“Hey, squirt” he said, ruffling his hair.

“Hello, Dad. Father.”

“We just came back from a meeting with Mr. and Mrs. Albert –“

“Uncle Sam said you came back two hours ago, but were taking a nap” Roderick pointed out, “Although I don’t get it because Father doesn’t need to sleep –“

“My point is” Dean ahsteend to say, “We spoke to John’s parents.”

“He should have just given me the candy” Roderick complained. “A deal’s a deal, Father said.”

“That’s right” Crowley agreed proudly and Dean shot him an angry look.

“I might agree with that” he said carefully, “But here’s the thing. Seeing how important it is that you keep your deals, you should be very careful which deals you decide to make in the first place.”

“But you wouldn’t let me have any more candy the other day” Roderick grumbled and Dean sighed.

“That’s because I want you to be healthy. Don’t you trtust me to know what is best for you?”

Roderick’s face lit up. “that’s true, Father said the same thing.”

“See? So no more light deals with your classmates. Promise?”

Roderick frowned but said “I promise.”

“And also – Roderick I know you’re proud of what we do, but please use the cover stories we gave you.”

“But talking about teachers and businessmen is boring!” he whined.

“He definitely gets that from you” Dean told Crowley before saying, “Yes, but we all need to be safe, you understand that, right?”

“I guess.”

It was as good a reassurance as he was going to get.

Two days later, Roderick told them, “John changed schools” during dinner and Crowley looked entirely too satisfied for Dean’s liking.

Someone was about to get punished tonight, that was for sure.

The fun way, of course.

[cassieminus-blog]

experimenting w/ calories

at the beginning of the summer, I lost weight while eating in the mid to high 2000 calorie range. I don’t even know how I lost weight eating that much cuz even at my highest weight, 2,300 calories was well above maintenance. But anyways, I was off to a decent start. I was aware of how much I was eating and I was consciously trying to make better food choices; I don’t even wanna know how many calories I was eating when I wasn’t writing everything down. I slipped up briefly before getting really frustrated, which is when I decided to take things seriously. I started eating 2,000 calories and under daily. I didn’t struggle that much with it. I probably mis-estimated my calories now and again (oh, one slice of lemon pie is probably 210 calories even though I’m not sure exactly what’s in it) but I was tracking my calories via a food scale, measuring cups and carefully examining nutrition labels, and it was working. I kind of got a little stricter with myself after a while, trying to stick closer to 1,300 than 1,700, but still letting myself eat 1,700 now and again. then I changed the settings on MFP from 2,000 to 1,650. the problem was that I was now using every calorie up, unlike when I had 2,000. although 1,650 was a number that was supposed to create a deficit for me, I went from 162.2 to 161.6 and now, Thursday of the week after 161.6, I’m at 161.4 after bouncing around between 161 and 161.6 all week. while I’m not too worked up over it, it did cause me to look at my TDEE and BMR on a couple other websites, and I decided my new daily limit is now 1,450. If that doesn’t work I’ll go another hundred calories lower, but I thought a two hundred calorie cut should help me see weight loss. I realize that at 1,650 I was able to fit Starbucks and treats into my day just about every day, and that’s fine, but I definitely had more calories than I needed just to feel energized and satisfied and to get through the day! So 1,450 should be better. If it doesn’t work, I’ll tweak it. But I needed to make a change because I want to see some more progress these next few weeks. After this week, which only has the rest of today and all of tomorrow left in it, I only have five weeks left of summer. And, I’m not leaving Saturday morning anymore for school, I’m leaving Friday. So I’ll have one day cut off my overall summer 15 pound weight-loss challenge. Unless the hotel I’m at happens to have a scale, or I buy my new scale Saturday morning and set it up in the hotel, I won’t be able to weigh myself that day. So I think I’ll just have my last day be Friday, so basically, I have five weeks left of summer to work towards my goal. Which is okay, but I’d really like to see another 5 pound loss between now and then and I won’t if I don’t try this new caloric intake.

I’m a little nervy about going to D.C. but I’m just going to tell my friends I’m trying to lose weight and count calories and they’ll be understanding. They’re both athletes and in good shape, and they’ll understand where I’m coming from and be supportive. I can’t tell you how much FatLogic has opened my eyes. Realizing that my skinny friends like the one I’m visiting aren’t ‘naturally thin’ unless ‘naturally thin’ = naturally low appetite and love of physical activity. Realizing that I can be skinny and still eat Cane’s is awesome! It’s just, realistically, it’ll be the only big meal I can eat all day. If I want a 1,200 calorie chicken finger box, and I’m eating 1,450, I can have 2 eggs, a coffee and an apple in the early afternoon and then Cane’s for dinner, but that’s it. knowing that has been useful; it explains how skinny people eat junk and stay skinny, and it explains how I can fit my favorite processed, fried foods into my new lifestyle. realizing that my thin friends might order than 1,200 chicken box but only eat half of it and eat it slowly, or that they might only eat that all day, or that they might eat it and other meals but then eat a lot less the next couple days just naturally from overeating the day or two before....that’s opened my eyes. It’s true, too. my thin friends eat less than me. which inspires me! I’ve written before about wanting to emulate my friends who are thin because they eat a lot differently from me, and I think that holds true. I read today on Reddit about someone who watched her thin relative eat; small portions, eats slowly, drinks water, talks a lot and is focused on the company at social events rather than focusing on the food. which brings me to my next point...

food’s always been a big part of my life. I think this is pretty obvious, because I was technically obese literally last month. but realizing that it doesn’t need to be something I focus on so much has been really freeing. I plan out my meals and often jot down in a note on my phone what I’m going to eat during that day or the next one. It helps me stay focused and on track. but it’s nice to realize I’m perfectly functional without eating large meals every few hours. like today, I had an 80 cal bag of popcorn and a 20 cal coffee before babysitting, and when I got home I had a pint of halo top (240 cal) and a diet soda (0 cal). so I haven’t eaten a super dense meal yet today, and I don’t feel like I’m doing something wrong. my appetite is adjusting to more reasonable portions and I’m not overeating and justifying it by saying that I need to get things done, I need energy, blah blah blah. I have a lot to do before I leave for my trip tomorrow, so I’m going to get some cleaning done (and laundry/maybe dishes) and then I’m going to make myself food afterward. I don’t need to eat now, so I’m not going to do it. As a result, I’ll be able to eat more when I am hungry and I won’t have to feel deprived.

Ugh. These get so rambly, but they help me kinda take stock of where I’m at. I think I’m at a good place. If I start losing weight super fast and feeling like I could benefit from a few more calories every day, I’ll go back to 1650. But for now, I think 1450 is a good amount and I think it’ll work! 1450 a day with some sort of exercise most days will lead to safe weight loss and allow me to eat healthy amounts of healthy, delicious foods. I’m really excited and motivated! I’m past that initial omg I’m losing weight!!! so shiny and new and fun!!! stage of weight loss but I’m still pushing. just knowing I can handle what someone on Reddit put as that ‘intermediate’ stage of weight loss has been really comforting so far. it’s also nice to know that while yeah, I’ll have to count calories probably for the rest of my life, it’s not hard, and it’s not a chore or an obligation so much as it’s just something that I do. it doesn’t add much time to my day and it keeps me aware of my consumption. a small price to pay for a healthy weight if you ask me. and it’s nice to know that in no more than a year, I’ll be in maintenance meaning I can eat around 1950 a day as long as I’m regularly exercising once I’m done losing weight, and I won’t gain weight. remembering that I’m in a deficit helps me bear in mind that I’m supposed to be a lil hungry or a lil unsatisfied now and again (hence making low-cal ‘diet’ foods a good choice for me rn). Once I’m in maintenance I can either just make my portions a teeny bit bigger, choose higher calorie food, or a small combination of both. or I can eat more frequently. I’m sure it won’t be hard :-). but the point is, I’ll never truly have to feel deprived cuz even now, I’m never feeling exhausted or nutritionally deprived. at most, just a lil irritated cuz i want seconds or a random snack but know it won’t fit into my calories for the day. again. I’m rambling! but it’s a good kind cuz it’s an excited and determined kind. In just over 5 weeks, I’ll be heading back to my campus in the 150s! now it’s time to kill these next 5 weeks.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #82

“there’s a child out on the battlefield, a pistol in each hand.”

so, i’m guessing you’re single?   not anymore, no. would you ever date someone because of money?   fuck that shit. your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner, what do you do?   i'm going to be realistic.  first, i'd demand him and her both to fuck off.  don't move?  i'm fucking punching her teeth out. do you have a reason to smile right now?   i guess so, but i'm not. have you had sex today?   i never have. do you remember the last girl you texted?   my mom, yeah. are you stubborn?   oh you have no idea. has anyone called you perfect before?   yes, but they're wrong. where is the biggest scar on your body?   on my left shin.  i scratched the living shit out of it with my own nails because it was so itchy. have you ever been told you were amazing?   yes, and they're also wrong. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?   HELL no. do you get irritated easily?   very, sadly. would you rather be a blonde or a brunette?   blonde, really.  easier to dye. have you ever had feelings for 2 people at the same time?   yes, i do right now. do you believe that leaving a significant other for someone else is ever a good idea?   i mean, it can be. if you found someone seemingly perfect for you, but it turned out they had a child… would you still give the relationship a chance?   not at this age.  literally the only situation in which i would do that is if it was jason. is it possible to ‘fall out of love’?   yeah. what happened last time you got drunk?   nothing, really.  i've never been smash-faced drunk.  the only time i've ever been drunk i was still pretty aware of what i was doing, which wasn't much. have you ever thrown up from drinking?   no, but i have thrown up from taking medicine like 15 minutes before drinking literally a sip of alcohol. do you find piercings attractive?   generally, yes. have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far?   i've been through enough to take down a lot of people, honestly. ever got suspended from school?   no. what would you do with a $10 bill you found on the ground?   if there's no source of identification around, i'm going to keep it. are you ticklish?   yes, mainly on my feet. have you taken someones virginity?   no. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?   nope. who was the last person you danced with?   colleen.  can't decide if i miss her or not. do you tan in the nude?   i don't tan period. have you ever had the chicken pox?   i have not. have you ever been evicted?   yes. would you grow your own garden?   no.  i'd honestly be too lazy to take good care of it. do you know anyone who snores?   lots of people. when I say ‘foxy lady’ what comes to mind?   the jimi hendrix song. would you own a siamese cat?   sure, they're very cute. do you like deviled eggs?   NO. what is your favorite horror movie?   "blair witch project 2: book of shadows" have you ever seen a lunar eclipse?   yep. what is your favorite daft punk song?   i only know "technologic" what is your favorite type of museum?   ones with dinosaur fossils/skeletons. if you had children or do would you tell them the truth about santa claus?   eventually i'd tell them, but of course i'd raise them to believe in santa. what color are your slippers?   tan.  they're meerkats. ;3; which accents can you emulate pretty well?   i've been told i speak british so well that i sound native. are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online?   real life, absolutely.  i'm not half bad online. do you think you’ll ever manage to do everything you want to?   absolutely not. are you a good driver? if you can’t drive yet, do you think you’ll be good?   no.  i don't even have my license yet.  i go into total panic mode when i drive; i grip the wheel like i'm driving through the apocalypse.  i also have tremors, and also due to certain meds, idk if i can even get my license. what is/was your favorite thing about school?   seeing jason. have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything?   @ rhett&link/gmm, markiplier, silent hill, meerkats... i need to chill lmao. have you ever been to a protest?   no. are you afraid of the dark?   no. what comes up on your recommended list on youtube?   gmm videos, markiplier videos, metal music... what’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet?   we had this huge lab mix (pretty sure he was part great dane) that was technically my older sister's dog named harley for a while.  he was huge. what is something you like to have conversations about?   my fandoms bc i'm pathetic, deep, philosophical things, music... what is something unusual that annoys you?   walking in the out door and out the in. who is taller, you or your best friend?   i don't have a best friend anymore. which time zone do you live in?   eastern standard when was the first time you ever listened to your favorite music artist?   all seven?  well. ozzy osbourne: 6th grade, going through mom's cds metallica: ^ marilyn manson: ^ otep: i heard "ghostflowers" in a video and really like it, so looked up more of their music a day to remember: recommended videos, actually. cradle of filth: umm... iii feel like my first song by them was "tonight in flames," but i don't remember where i heard it. rammstein: i heard "waidmanns heil" on that one rock band game. have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours?   i have not. what is/was your favorite stuffed animal growing up!   a moose named brownie what is your state or country’s minimum wage?   $7.25.  pathetic, i know. what is your favorite constellation and why?   don't have a favorite. if you could have any hair style you wanted, what would it look like?   don't fucking judge me, but i sincerely and honestly love the big, emo swoop.  my hair is just so thick so it's like impossible to get it to work with me. can you play any instruments?   i played the flute for yeeeaaars, but like, i don't even remember most notes. what is your favorite topic in history class?   the holocaust name one dream that ruined your day when you woke up.   my dad raped me. would you like to marry whoever you’re seeing right now?   i don't know yet, we haven't been together long at all.  i'm not making that decision yet. do you prefer candles or incense?   incense do you eat candy corn?   ew, no. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened?   no. are your parents more liberal or conservative?   conservative. when was the last time you saw your best friend?   a few weeks ago when she essentially told me to get my shit and go. how many jobs have you ever had? (including things like babysitting)   two. if you’ve seen both, did you prefer the disney version or the tim burton version of alice in wonderland?   burton's version is actually my all-time favorite movie. what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?   you want me to be honest?  an unsuccessful photographer, probably.  hopefully married by then, but who knows. what was your favorite 90's show?   pokemon, motherfuckers. what is your favorite fruit?   strawberries how do you feel about oral?   it's just... really gross to me. what do you wish you didn't know?   many, many things.  but mainly, that some people just do not cherish love. favorite kind of chips?   flamin' hot cheetos has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?   hm.  odd.  he's not around anymore. has anyone ever told you that you have a cute nose?   lol wut how many kids do you want?   at this point in my life, i don't even know if i want any to begin with.  if i do though, two is preferable. does anyone call you babe?   tyler does.  i don't exactly like it, but i don't think we're really close enough yet for me to be brave enough to tell him so. where does most of your family live?   well.  mom's family is in new york, dad's is in ohio and michigan, and my very immediate family (parents + immediate sisters) lives here in nc. have your parents ever smoked pot?   idk. rent a movie or go to movies?   go to the movies! do you know anyone who works at mcdonald’s?   not personally. where do your cousins live?   new york and ohio. do you like the all-american rejects?   not particularly. have you ever finished a whole video game?   plenty, yeah. which one of your friends has great music taste?   hmm.  i mean, a good number of them do. how do you feel about death?   it's a very scary, mysterious thing. do you have any cats?   not currently. do you believe in the underworld?   well, i believe in hell. what is your favorite flower?   tiger lilies have you ever been betrayed?   i have been betrayed. where do you think we go when we die?   heaven or hell.  i used to believe in purgatory, but that's a catholic thing. when was the last time you went to a funeral?   yeeeaaars ago. are you scared of cancer?   i mean... who isn't?  i don't readily worry about it, even though it looks like it may run in my family.  we've seen thyroid, breast, and kidney cancers. how many phobias do you have?   i only have three that i consider to be, by definition, "phobias," those three being whale sharks, dolls, and pregnancy. how many bisexual friends do you have?   two that i can think of off the top of my head. do your parents wear glasses?  mom does to drive and read, and dad does to read. when was the last time you threw up?   only like a week back.  i think my latuda makes me nauseous. do you have mental issues?   oh, you know, only chronic depression, general anxiety, social anxiety, ptsd, borderline personality disorder, and potentially avoidant personality disorder.  fun times, right? are you good at chemistry?  NOOOOOO do you have online friends?  alex, shay, jax, lona, mini, sam, alyssa, sammy, others... safe to say i have more online than "real" friends. do you like your handwriting?  i do. are you nosy?  very. have you ever been called emo?  yeah.  gonna be totally honest here, i don't pay attention to what the stereotype is anymore, but i probably am one lol. do you have a big nose?   no. how long has it been since you kissed someone?  well over a year. if someone was to ask you if you were okay right now, are you?  for once, sure. the last person you held hands with go to your school?  he did, we're both no longer in school. what person of the opposite sex makes you laugh most?   link neal and mark fischbach<3 do you have any medication you have to take every day?  latuda, lamictal, propanalol, birth control for period cramps... did you reject or accept your last friend request?  reject.  we had no mutual friends.  the fuck did you find me and what do you want. do you like pretzels?  the soft ones.  hard ones are eh. if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, how long have you been together?   like a week. do you look at older pictures and laugh?   no, i'm usually the one cringing. what was the first thing you ate today?   nothing yet but i currently hear bacon popping ahhhh~ have you ever tried lemon brownies?  no, sounds disgusting. have you ever been to hawaii?   no.  i have a cousin there though, actually. do you have a sister that steals your things?   no. what is your father’s middle name?  john do you think that you’re a good person?  i guess. are you on medication for anything?  bipolarity and anxiety.  i was on an anti-depressant, but apparently you're not supposed to do that if you have bipolarity. have you ever been a gymnast or a cheerleader?   ... i was a cheerleader when i was really little. are you irish?  yeah. do you know how to insert a tampon?   yeah are you ever afraid to be yourself?  only always. how many people have told you they were in love with you?   one or two. are you emotional?   too emotional. who is one person that you no longer hang out with? why did that association end?   colleen.  because essentially, she's a judgmental child in a 21-year-old body. who was the last person to endanger your life, whether it was accidentally or intentionally?   ummm.  idk. have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend?   no. with which family member do you get along with the least? the best?   least, my grandma.  best, probably my dad. have you ever felt like someone abandoned you? if yes, explain?   i felt like my dad did for a few years, but jason absolutely did. what are some unfair stereotypes against women?   JUST SOME?!  well, above anything else, that we're less competent than men and are overall the weaker gender. how about against men?   that they're all insensitive pigs and that they must be logical at all times. who was the last person to make you feel like you mattered?   mom, i guess, for bringing me to debbie's so i wouldn't be home with nothing to do. do you prefer vertical or horizontal stripes?   horizontal. can you name all 50 american states?   probably not. have you ever ridden a motorcycle?   no. have you ever needed stitches?   on my chin, yeah. have you ever been in a submarine?   no. do you think barbie is a negative role model for young girls?   in some ways, sure.  unrealistic expectations can be set. have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna?   hot tub, yeah.  i will absolutely never go in a sauna. do you believe there used to be dragons?   nope. who’s your favorite god from ancient history?   i'm not entirely sure. who was your first kiss?   jason have you ever carved a pumpkin?   a badass one, i must say. did you ever have a treehouse as a kid?   no. have you ever appeared on youtube?   ohhhh god. could you ever have an affair with a married person?   noooo. have you ever planted a tree?   yes.  an apple tree, i think. can you count your number of serious relationships on one hand?   one, so yes how about number of sexual partners?   again, one, so yeah. what’s your middle name?   marie.  my catholic middle name is catherine tho and i still use it because that's part of my upbringing, history, and making of who i am. do you have any siblings?   two immediate sisters, ashley and nicole, three half-sisters named misty, mary kathryn (katie), and tiffany (whom i've never met), and a half-brother named robert (bobby). do you care if people hate you for no reason?   i honestly kinda do. are you one of those people who gets jealous of boys/girls your current bf/gf dated?   nah.  their relationships ended for a reason, so why be jealous? your last ex runs up to you, kisses you, & tells you they want you back. you?   this is the first occasion in my life where i can honestly say i think i'd slap him, roll my eyes, and walk away. is it easy to make you cry?   painfully easy. what color is your hair naturally?   i was born dirty blonde, but it turned brown with age. are you afraid of heights?   in some situations, yes. have you ever laughed so hard you cried?   i do that VERY easily.  like, i SOB. do you find piercings attractive?   in general, sure. do you find tattoos attractive?   again, generally. do you curse in front of your parents?   with dad, i'm totally open.  mom, i generally don't say "fuck." do you like eating mashed potatoes?   no, i hate mashed potatoes. have you ever been called a bad influence?   no. have you ever been to disney world?   i have. do you ever play games on the computer?   i currently can't, because my gaming laptop currently has a fried psu or graphics card.  i used to play repeats of both the "amnesia" games (particularly the sequel), i'd occasionally progress in "outlast," and i regularly played "world of warcraft," which was very important to me for like two years.  i guess conditions have kinda forced me to quit, but i still vaguely keep up with what's going on in the game. do you and your significant other have a special song? what is it?   no. what if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted?   ... well that's a mess because that's a gay scene i couldn't even begin to concoct the last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them?   on the cheek.  honestly because i felt pressured to. is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex?   no.  i have literally nothing more to say. if your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it?   it doesn't bother me, no.  and i never felt pressured because my friends had done it, but rather by my age, i guess.  it's a very weak thought and honestly does not come often, so it's not much of a nuisance, but sometimes it is weird- not embarrassing, mind you- to admit "oh yeah i'm 21 and still a virgin despite having been in a very serious relationship." name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up.   oh god, seven?  that's a lot.  um.  well, writing it one; giving it up would be... kinda devastating, because i do it so much on a daily basis.  photography is another, and that would really fucking suck to give it up because i want to make a career out of that.  watching my favorite youtubers is a ginormous one, and tbh i'd rather die than have to lose that hobby.  um, i like gaming obvs, but i could give it up because i obviously have due to my computer issue and the fact my consoles are broken.  i don't enjoy not being able to do it, but i mean, i've survived.  i like drawing when i actually have inspiration... but i could also give it up because again, i pretty much have because i judge my work excessively, and i got tired of it.  i like exploring the outdoors/interesting areas, but i barely ever have the chance to even do this, so i mean, there's nothing to give up.  i enjoy fishing, but it's another thing i haven't done in actual years, so. what is your mom’s and dad’s favorite tv show?   i'm not sure... but both my parents really love "the big bang theory" when you were younger and misbehaved, what did your parents threaten you with?   mom would threaten to count to one, lmao.  i always assumed zero meant i'd get spanked. who has the biggest ego you know?   jason's best friend dillon. how would you react if your last ex wanted to get back together?   ugh. do you and your family go on a vacation ever year?   no. who was your most romantic moment with?   jason who does your most embarrassing moment involve?   also jason. does your dad swear?   yeah. when you like someone, do you picture what your children will look like?   well that's remotely creepy lol, no. do you know how to tap dance?   i know how to clog, and i mean, it's the same thing, just different shoes. are you craving any food right now? if so, what?   yeah, i want pizza. ;-; what’s your favorite flavor of skittles?   RED when was the last time you used oil pastels?   high school if pot was finally legalized where you live, what would you do?   quite honestly be mad because people are fucking stupid.  as if cigarettes weren't enough of an issue. how bad are your hangovers?   i've never had one. do you think taco bell is nasty?   well i don't like mexican, so... have you ever taken a break from facebook or other social media? why?   i haven't. who knows about your tumblr account?   only online friends. where did you and your current interest go on your first date?   to the movies + a pizza place. who was your high school sweetheart? are you still in contact?   jason, and no. were you popular or invisible in high school?   totally invisible. have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? what happened?   juan and jason had "issues."  jason at least seemed to have very little issue with him, but juan absolutely loathed jason.  despite not really showing dislike towards him, there was one occasion where circumstances had it where both jason and juan were at my house, and the fucking tension was unreal.  jason and i had been dating for around a year now, so i mean i loved him, but i wasn't impressed with him bringing up certain things between he and juan (they weren't exactly fond of each other before me due to someone they had both had relations with); jason clearly meant these things to not be aggressive or anything, but rather to just be nostalgic, but y'know... just don't.  he was perfectly aware juan didn't like him; don't bait the dude.  nothing actually went wrong, but ugh, that was stressful and the distaste they had for each other was obvious. have you ever had an experience that was not in keeping with the sexual orientation you currently identify with?   no. did you go to preschool?   yeah. do you know your blood type?   a-, i'm pretty sure. could you be a teacher?   nope.  no way in hell could i handle like 20-30 kids. quick! chinese or mexican food?   chinese, but i don't like much of either. how many significant others have you had in your WHOLE life?   only one was truly "significant," but i'm been in a relationship with three others. do you hate your ex?   no, i don't. have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?   yeah. what’s your fast food restaurant of choice?   bojangle's.  ya'll outside nc don't know what you're missing, lol. what did you and your ex fight about most?   the fact he was 110% logic and had no consideration to his emotions. are you embarrassed by any of the songs in your itunes?   ... it's why i don't let anyone else use it lmao do you like to swim?   it's the one exercise i enjoy, really. have you ever gone on vacation with your boyfriend/girlfriend?   no.  really wanted jason to come with us to the beach one year when we had a dance competition, but he couldn't take off work that many days. how slowly or quickly would you say you eat?   i'm a very fast eater.  i mean i'm not messy, i just eat quickly. what outfit makes you feel the most attractive?   ... none? when you think about marriage, what thoughts come up?   not much, honestly.  kinda hard to think of much when you don't have a belief on whom you're gonna marry. other than yourself, who knows you the best?   it's still probably jason, honestly. do you know anyone who has autism/asperger’s syndrome?   i do know someone with asperger's has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you?   kinda indirectly. are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not?   no, because i'm heterosexual. do you think boys look good in skinny jeans?   sure. do you think it’s okay for boys to dress like girls and vice versa?   sure. what went wrong in your previous relationship?   he didn't believe in me. if you’re in one, is anything wrong with it now?   no. how would you react to being cheated on?   nothing in regards to being hurt surprises me anymore. is drinking and smoking a dating deal-breaker for you?   i absolutely will not date someone who smokes, and if you drink more than seldomly, i'm not putting up with you, either.

[sapphirescript]

Found this meme things originally from This Lovely person Thought’s it’d be fun :3

1: Do you sleep on a blanket over your mattress with another blanket on top, or with just one blanket on top of you? When I freshly make a bed I will sleep ontop of a set of covers but generally I end up finding myself under all of them because pressure + warmmm. 2: Personally, what do you believe happens when a person dies? I haven’t decided 100% but I partially believe in reincarnation into similar entities ( human to human) but also maybe some kind of paradise? If not an eternal dream. 3: If faced with the opportunity, would you ever kill a criminal whom you don't know if it meant you could get anything you want in return? (Keep in mind you do not/can not know what said criminal has done to become a criminal until after you've made your decision) Nah, there’s not much I want where I am willing to take a life. And knowing my luck the “criminal” could be some guy with a parking ticket or some other stupid crime. 5: What type of art could you always appreciate but never see yourself actually doing? This is a hard one but I know there’s a few things out there I like but never really want to do... Probably those people who sculpt perfect old cars. 6: You've been given the option to choose how the human race reproduces. How would we reproduce, which sex would bare children, and how would we bare them? (Eggs, litters, etc) I would probably keep sex but both sexes have equal sets of downstairs genitals but keeping the boobs on girls thing. But instead of weird squishy eggs, people would actually have leathery snake eggs and there’d be tons of commercial products for calcium deficiency and egg candelling would be huge as well as egg painting like Easter for baby pics. And if the egg was unwanted there’d be less protest because it’s just an egg. Children would be born smaller but more independent and milk isn’t hugely necessary but can be used to feed it.  And like egg cutting is a hugely debated topic. 7: What's the weirdest thing you've ever experienced, may it be just reading about it or experiencing it in the flesh? This is really hard for me because I honestly can’t think of anything that’s struck me as weird? 8: You can choose any world to go to from any book, movie, video, fanficion, etc, and the option to become the main character. Where would you go, and would you be involved in the main story, or just watching on the sidelines? THIS ONE IS SO HARD Because like partially there’s Naruto but also there’s X-men but like also I’d want to be some kind of animal hybrid so probably something like that (furry trash). But I’m also writing a story right now that is very magical so of course I’d want to be in that world. And probably be a side character involved in the main story but like... not enough to die a tragic death xD. 9: What is one thing in this world you would get rid of if you knew it'd be erased from the entire history of the human race? Idk the crusades? Racism? Some kind of plague? Apart from terrible things that cause misery not much else. 11: You're in hell! One song is playing on repeat for eternity. What song it it? Anything by Pink Floyd probably, or Madonna.... 12: You get to create a entirely new species. Describe the name of them and what they look like. I’ve done tons of new species and none of them are particularly awe-inspiring because I just like to morph existing species around. Like giant rideable fennec foxes, or human/were-animal hybrid stuff. I don’t have anything aprticularily creative ^^;. 13: You're now allergic to EVERY animal except for one. Which animal is it? Jokes on you, I’m already allergic to most animals. But probably dogs because I own a dog. I’m not sure how I’d be allergic to snakes or fish so I’m not worried about those and cats... well that just sucks. 14: What's on your mind right now? Quitting my job, is my period leaking through right now? How much longer till life gets better, I really miss my characters that died with my old laptop and it’s art programs. I miss being creative. 15: Try and describe your closest friend in the silliest way possible. They are a precious giant jelly bean that somehow manages to out-awkward even me. (#SCRUBLORD) 16: You can stop doing one of the following-- Eating, Using the restroom, Sleeping-- without any consequences. What do you choose? Aaaah I wish I could choose all of them but probably sleeping, assuming that I can never feel tired from sleeping problems and I’m always at that “had a refreshing sleep” Health wise. 17: You have to live on a world famous landmark for the rest of your life. Which landmark would you live on/in? I don’t know many so my answers probably really boring but having a room in the Eifle Tower would be pretty cool I think. Unless you mean like have to live with what you got then probably a garden somewhere warm.... hanging gardens of Babylon.... 18: You can babysit 6 extremely poilte and kind kids for not very much money or one extremely rude and disrespectful child for a high amount of money for a week. Which do you choose? Six easy going kids for not much money, I really don’t mind watching kids if I have stuff to entertain them with, and it’s not worth it to deal with hellians. 19: You have to use one word in every sentence for the rest of your life. What word is it? But, I don’t feel like it would affect my speech too much. I use but a lot especially because one of my catch phrases is “Yea but no I-” 20: Go on a vacation forever or never leave your home town? Vacation forever, my home town sucks and I don’t have any reason to stay at all. 21: What would your character be described as in an upcoming anime? I don’t really understand this question, but like... probably depressed and or childish. 22: You get to redesign the whitehouse. Describe how your fabulous revisions would make it look? I can’t really think of anything I’d do to it. Probably make it a little more office like because they’re just politicians they don’t need offices that nice. 23: You're now inhabiting the body of the last person you talked to. Who is it, how how weirder out are you? It’s my husbands and I am not weirded out at all in fact it’s a god damn dream and my only hope would be he’s in my body and dear god it’d be fun. 24: Add a letter to the alphabet! What's its name and what does it look like? It looks like a cross between a cursive capital L and a infinity symbol and it would be called Lew and it would go right before M in the alphabet. 25: Weirdest fetish you've ever found out about and how? Inflation and as a horny teenager stumbling upon old ass Furaffinty and just being confused by everything but especially that. 26: Every mosquito drops dead and they are never found again or every wasp? As far as I’m aware mosqituoes are actually part of a food chain so probably wasps. Unless I’m wrong on both ends then probably still wasps cause they terrify me. 27: Fear you had when you were little that you grew out of? People in mascot costumes.... 28: The ability to make everyone listen to you when you want to say something or have no one notice you when you don't want them to? Make people listen to me probably, there’s not too often when I want people to not notice me at all. 29: What's your favorite meme? Puppers/Snoodles, or for some real meme quality probably the “your daughter calls me daddy too” one cause those always make me laugh no matter what. 30: Best surprise you've ever gotten? Probably my parents buying me the neruwear cat ears because I was legit shocked and surprised by it. I’m normally pretty good at guessing surprises otherwise. 31: Do you no longer listen to a song because it reminds you of someone you don't talk to anymore? Not really, I refuse to listen to gospel music because it reminds me of church and church people I guess. 32: Write a full paragraph about yourself without being negative (or just a sentence if you don't want to write a full paragraph!) I am really good at planning surprises and gifts for people and if I had money I know I would be very generous with it. I am learning to be compassionate and I’m so proud of how capable I am at some things. I also really like my eyes and I am so cute with snap chat filters. 33: Describe the most attractive person you've ever seen without mentioning their name. Ooh that’s hard because everybody is so pretty... Seriously there’s so many girls I can think of and my husband  is so attractive and looks like Ryan Reynolds and there’s so many different kinds of pretty like a guy in drive through was older but he had such a twinkle in eye and there was a girl I met on a dating website that her hair framed her face so perfectly and her eyes were so pretty  and my friend has the cutest little button nose that’s covered in freckles. This is way too hard! 35: You wake up tomorrow and end up having NO responsibilities to do, including work, school, cleaning, projects-- Nothing!-- As well as full access to an endless supply of money for an entire week. How do you spend it? Defiantely buy a sHIT ton of crafting supplies, buy some super nice presents for all my people that I love, pay off my debt and take a road trip! I would probably also buy some furniture for my bedroom as well so I could use my desk ads a desk and not a table. Maybe a lolita dress and some dread locks too. 36: Write a plot for a TV show that you would most definitely watch. Werewolf clan trying to get along with “pure bred” weredogs with lots of smart things happening where you have to re-watch the episodes to catch everything you missed. The main character would be “racist” until he met the love of his life and he turns from aggressive wild to a spokesperson and great help to a community of creatures acting as a detective/police/lawyer/mayor to them in the town mixed with humans. 37: If you had to choose between only wearing shorts and long sleeves or pants and a tank top for all of winter, what would you choose? (No coats allowed or other garments under or over the shorts or pants!) Pants and a tank top because that’s generally what I wear in winter. 38: One thing you'd love to wake up to? Being stuck cuddling in between my husband and my (future) wife and the only reason we woke up on this soft sunny morning was because the dogs jumped on the bed to cuddle and we can all just have breakfast and be all gentle kissy and playful romantic pancakes and waffles. 39: You can choose to learn one talent to master or choose many talents that you're somewhat okay at. Which do you choose? Definitely many talents I’m okay at, my friends used to call me a jack of all trades all the time and I adore the name. 40: Favorite quote/saying? ”If you can’t explain it to a two year old you don’t understand it” or something like that. I also like a lot of mushy love each other and encourage others to grow stuff. 41: You say one sentence to go down in history and be remembered years after you pass, even centuries into the future. What's the sentence? ”Love each other and mind your own fucking business.” 42: Favorite video you've ever watched? I can’t really think of a favorite video but probably that one where it’s a golden retriever puppy that’s learning to howl with it’s owner and it’s like as old as youtube itself. 43: Type/act like you did when you were 13 and describe your plans for tonight. ”Lol guys I totaly didn’t froget but my brothers frinds are here so we’re watching a mvoie XDXD!! TTYL” I don’t know if I was actually like that but I made tons of spelling mistakes and was very excited about everything! 44: You're a baby with a very deep voice. What would you say to startle everyone in the room with your very deep baby voice? ”I know what you’ve done...” 45: Funniest joke you've ever heard? I hate how absolute this list is because it’s so hard to pick the best of something. The only thing I can think of at all is that stupid humble honda Jesus “For I do not speak of my own Accord” joke. 46: Ever pulled a prank, and if you did-- What was it? Not really...I told my husband we were going to church for his birthday and he believed me right until I parked at the Toronto zoo’s parking lot. 47: You can be a human with fur or a dog with hair. Which do you choose? Human with fur because then I could make people brush me =w=. 48: In your own opinion, the weirdest advertisement you've seen? So many japanese ads come into mind... 49: Did you answer honestly to these questions? Yea I had a really hard time with most of them though. 50: Your hair can be any color you want, but its permanently there. For an example, you can dye your hair another color after, but the color you originally choose will always grow back in eventually. What color do you choose? A soft Lilac with bluer high lights/lowlights. Unless it as to be real then blond because I like being blond and it’s easier to dye.