#also nonbinary Teddy Lupin is great okay i adore them

[dark-elf-writes]

Okay but imagine after the Battle of Hogwarts and some time for healing Harry gets handed a toddler and is basically told to become a godfather.

So he does.

He has the full toddler sling around his chest as he helps with repairs. He and Kreature baby proof all of one room of Grimmauld before it is mutually decided that maybe getting a flat less coated in dark magic and cursed artifacts is a better idea at least until the baby is less likely to try to eat a poisoned dagger and Merlin why is that even in here? He learns how to love cooking because now he has someone who actually enjoys it, and sure Teddy got banana purée in both of their hair but he’s also laughing and babbling away and his hair is a happy blue so Harry knows it was appreciated.

The problem is is that Harry… doesn’t know what reasonable expectations of a child should be? He just knows what he’s not going to do because of his own childhood and some anecdotes from Siri and Kreature from how the Black family raised their kids and just kinda wings it like he’s done everything else in his life. I mean he stole a dragon and ended a war so parenting can’t be that hard right?

So Teddy ends up like six and fully fluent in ancient runes because Hermione and Bill keep buying him coloring books with them. He’s trilingual before he’s four because Fleur and Viktor adore him and they didn’t get to help their littlest champion/pseudo brother before but they sure can now that Harry’s nineteen with a whole ass toddler. Teddy memorizes the recipe for poly juice potion at the same time he masters pancakes even though Harry won’t let him near a cauldron or a stove top. He can name every magical creature in the Forbidden Forest or at least the ones willing to come to the edges because Harry refuses to go back among those trees, but that’s okay because Hagrid and Fang are good babysitters as long as they have some direction. Teddy is flying before he figures out how to get his limbs that never feel quite right —like hes made of rubber bands stretched a bit too far — to cooperate enough to not fall constantly and is the most terrifying beater imaginable for a three year old.

All this to say by the time Hogwarts rolls around and their (because it’s their now and while their limbs still feel stretchy and weird they at least have the piece of knowing that Harry will love them even if they’re his child instead of his son) core is stable enough to actually cast magic they are eleven casting a patronus charm that is (unsurprisingly) a wolf cub and could take like half of their owls from jump except for the boring ones that Harry knew wouldn’t help them if things went wrong.

And Teddy grows up being an incredibly loved terror of a powerhouse and Minerva swears up and down but the time the first Weasley is old enough to join them in Hogwarts she is going to retire.