#also people need to stop asking me to get weed for them because police is fucking everywhere and i'm not willing to travel for an hour and

[strozzaprete]

i don't know there must be something on my goddamn face that tells people that they can ask me for the most random favors without any concern for the fact that i have a personal life and/or i'm not a lawyer and/or that they're putting me in the middle of a situation i have nothing to do with but now i have to handle it for them

[sammyboyimagines]

Five's a Crowd

Pairing: Jonathan x Reader

Summary: Jonathan can't keep his eyes off you, and Argyle decides to step in. But after a stupid mistake, Jonathan finds out how you really feel about him.1.9k words

Warnings: swearing, one mention of sex but not 18+, drug use, lovesick Jonathan, Mike and Will (idk I just felt the need to tell you)

//i've been so excited to write this, Jonathan is one of my favorite characters, I love him so much but that's not the point. Jonathan is very defensive in this imagine but is also madly in love. He also has a staring problem but that's probably canon and me too tbh. srry I'm rambling. ALSO!! ROBIN FIC THIS WEEKEND I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED.

"Are you serious right now? Just talk to her!" Argyle examined his "weeder"/weed-shaped bird feeder and made some slight edits while Jonathan attempted to focus on the wooden project in front of himself. He couldn't stop staring at you from across the room, the way you stared at your book with deep focus, it was breathtaking.

"You don't get it! I've only been with Nancy, and that was messy enough! I'm terrible at talking to girls." Jonathan looks at his project, semi-satisfied with his creation. Argyle rolled his eyes and sat beside him.

"Sounds like you're in desperate need of a new woman, some well-deserved hanky panky. Cough cough, with Y/n." Jonathan sputtered something along the lines of "gross" and shoved him lightly.

"Dude, I'm not just looking for…that. I'm looking for a solid relationship with her!" Argyle nodded, watching him put his head down on the table.

"So tell her that, man! Tell her you wanna be more than friends. I've seen the way she looks at you when you aren't paying attention." Jonathan just rolled his eyes. How could someone so beautiful have any interest in a lowlife like him? You had so much ahead of you, and he'd be lucky if he graduated at this point.

"You're just telling me these things to make me ask her out! I've never asked anyone out before. I bet you she doesn't even like me as a friend." he held his head in his hands with a heavy exhale. Argyle pats his back sympathetically. "Dude, she literally babysat your little brother a few times. She obviously likes you!" Argyle pushed his long hair out of his face and watched his nervous friend. His eyes were trained on you, the way you twirled your pencil in between your fingers. It made him imagine what those fingers would feel like in his hair, massaging his scalp as he lay in your lap.

"So? She could just like babysitting or something?" Jonathan shrugged it off, watching Argyle jump up. He always was a tad bit dramatic.

"Are you serious right now? Dude no chick would babysit a guy's little brother if she didn't have a big fat crush on him! You need to clear your mind and just go for it." Argyle set the weeder on the table and said his goodbyes right before class ended.

That conversation was long forgotten because not even a week later, Jonathan, Argyle, Mike, Will, and you, were packed into the Surfer Boy van looking for any sign of El. You'd met El before, but you didn't know much about her other than her name and what she looked like. "Why is it so important that we go after her? Why don't we call the police and let them deal with it? I know she's your sister but we don't even know where we're going!" You were very confused and worried that the van would run out of gas and leave you stranded in rural California.

"You don't understand! El has powers and bad people are searching for her. We need to get her back before something happens to her!" Mike was quick to defend her. That sentence made your brain hurt.

"We missed several steps here, El has…powers?" You rubbed your face in exhaustion. You'd been on the road for hours already.

"Y/n, can you just for once accept that there are things you don't know about? The sooner you open your mind, the sooner you'll understand." Jonathan snapped at you, he had been driving for 7 hours. He was tired, but it was rude nonetheless. He'd never snapped at you before.

"Well excuse me for asking. Next time you ask me to go anywhere I'll say no." You didn't want to be involved in the first place, but when Will and Jonathan were upset, it made you upset.

"Yeah whatever, next time I won't ask you to come." he gripped the steering wheel harshly. Argyle was practically tearing his hair out at the argument he was witnessing.

You were cringing at Jonathan's harsh words. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Jonathan had never said anything like this in your presence, let alone to your face. You turned to face the window, the passenger seat next to your crush becoming your worst nightmare. Jonathan was staring at the road ahead with brooding eyes, his knuckles turning white from the hard grip.

Will and Mike looked between you two, feeling the obvious bad tension between Jonathan and you. Argyle was freaking out in the back, worried that his friend just ruined his chance with his crush. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he mumbled to himself. As much as he loved his smart, nervous, terribly lonely friend…he was five seconds from smacking him upside his head.

Jonathan pulled over after another hour on the road for a short break before Argyle would take the wheel. Jonathan stood near the side of the van, looking off into the distance. Argyle took this opportunity to have a little chat with him.

"So, how are you feeling?" He tried to gently approach the subject of you. Jonathan shrugged. "Just tired, why?" he ran a hand through his long hair.

"No reason. It's just that maybe you need to apologize to a certain someone." He trailed off, taking a hit from his blunt. "A certain someone who offered to help you with no second thought…" he exhaled smoke into the air. "A certain woman who happens to be staring daggers at you right now…" he chuckled when he saw you struggling to keep your eyes off of Jonathan.

He rolled his eyes. "What do you mean? I didn't do anything." Jonathan was so out of it that he hadn't realized how harsh he had been when telling you off. Argyle looked taken aback.

"Hold up, rewind. This is not you, man. I remember you snapping at her. You told her that you'd never take her anywhere again and that she's a know-it-all. That doesn't sound very "loverboy", does it?" Argyle took another hit and leaned against the van.

"Fuck, I really said that? God, I'm so stupid. Now she'll never want to give me a chance." Jonathan put his head in his hands, ignoring the snickering coming from Mike and Will.

"I doubt it. She's hanging out with Mike and Will and she's been staring at you this entire time. She clearly cares a little bit." Jonathan watched you talk to his little brother, it made his heart soar when he saw how much you cared for him and the people around him.

Man, he royally fucked up.

Before Argyle could get another word in, Jonathan was storming across the street to reach you, Will, and Mike. "Hey guys, can you leave us alone for a second?" They left, beelining for the van.

"Took you long enough," Will mumbled to Jonathan before catching up to Mike. Jonathan cringed to himself and took in a deep breath, his chest feeling very heavy all of the sudden.

You glanced at him, your arms crossed across your chest. "Everything okay?" despite his lashing out earlier, you weren't too offended by his words. He sighed in response.

"Everything's fine I just need you to listen, okay? You don't have to say anything because I know I don't deserve forgiveness for yelling at you earlier. I'm so sorry for getting angry at you today, I don't know what got into me. I didn't mean to upset you, I didn't mean to sound so horrible. I'm tired, it's no excuse but that might have something to do with it. I hope I didn't upset you, it wasn't my intention." Jonathan examined your face for any signs of anger, sadness, or anything.

"No, don't worry about it! I know you're stressed." you put a hand on his shoulder, it felt like second nature the minute you opened your mouth. "Don't beat yourself up about it, I know you didn't mean any of it." You could have said anything and it would have made Jonathan melt. However, he didn't believe you when you told him it was alright.

"No Y/n. You don't deserve this, any of this. I should have left you in California where you'd be safe. And I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I'm such a dumbass-"

You couldn't take it anymore, seeing him worry and grovel. You kissed him, your soft lips connected with his. He froze up for a second before his hands found their way to your waist. "What was that?" he chuckles breathlessly.

"You're not a bad guy, Jonathan. You're doing your best and you know damn well I would rather be with you than in stupid California. Could you imagine me getting through a school day without our little smoke breaks?" He found himself laughing for the first time since they left Cali. It was true, you both found a spot behind the bleachers in a less populated area of the school to talk and smoke for a little while. It was his favorite part of the day. Hell, he wouldn't even go to school if he knew you wouldn't be there.

"Yes, you were a little mean, but I've snapped at you many times and you haven't given up on me. I'm here to stay whether you like it or not." You watched him smile. Jonathan wasn't the most outgoing guy, but his smile was bright enough to light even the darkest days.

You pulled him in for a longer kiss, your hands holding onto his shirt for as long as he'd let you. "Does this mean you like me?" Jonathan asked, his hopes almost as high as Argyle right now.

"Yes, and I accept your apology. Let's go save El, who has powers and many bad guys coming after her. Still makes no sense." you held his hand as you two walked back to the van, the bright Cali sun burning through your light clothing as your body felt warm and heated from the lovely conversation with Jonathan.

Argyle was leaning out of the driver's side window. "Did you two finally make up or do I have to step in?" You rolled your eyes and pecked Jonathan's cheek.

"Finally, I'm done being your wingman. You're very frustrating, you know that? You help a guy out and then he screams at the lady he loves, typical." With that, Argyle drives off, quickly going 30 miles over the speed limit. It's a wonder how the police haven't pulled him over yet.

"Finally you can stop moping around all day because of her." He laughed when Jonathan got offended. "Really?" he let out a sigh. "Yeah, mopey dick." He turned to face the road again.

"Now, remind me. Where are we going again?"

//so yeah robin fic this weekend, and some billy headcanons sometime next week! Glad to be posting more lol

[erudianokabe]

Girl Talk

"Can you believe it, Annie?" Pacing inside this cold and gloomy room, biting down on the nail of her thumb; on the edge, nearing that point where the tantrum that she withheld wanted to burst from her chest– pathetic that all she could do was complain to someone who probably couldn't even hear her.

Not like Hitch didn't have any friends, but it wasn't like she'd be dead caught throwing a bitch fit because of what some asshole said about an MP-turned-Scout. There was no way... no way in hell that she would breathe about it to someone who could respond back. It was annoying enough that she had to feel like this– feel like kicking the walls, which she did; banged her fists against the walls, which she also did (and boy did it hurt); just because she couldn't accept the last memory imparted to her about her comrade. "What does that Floch know about Marlowe anyway?" She asked her encapsulated companion with no expectations of being answered in return. She just needed to vent. Compared to Floch, it was Hitch who knew Marlowe more than anyone, right? She's been with that blockhead far longer than that damn redhead was; she was the one who knew his capabilities the most, how he was always so strait-laced and frank with his intentions that his prattle sounded so silly and stupid to her. At one point, Marlowe's views and intentions made her stomach hurt from laughter because of how ridiculous he was being. He wanted to change the dirty system, weed out the evils from within the MP and reform it? Preposterous. No way. Get out of here.

Hitch knew that it was impossible so she didn't really understand when she began to believe that he could do it.

But now, he couldn't even do that because he was dead.

That stupid, upstanding bowl-cut was so absorbed in righteousness and justice that she couldn't even persuade him to stay in the Military Police. In fact, he expressed his disappointment in her for trying to dissuade him. Like she was the unbelievable one. What was wrong with wanting to take it easy? Nothing, there was nothing wrong with it. That's why she joined the MPs in the first place... the reason she was still alive now, while Marlowe... he... "Marlowe might be an idiot, but he's not like me. He wouldn't regret doing something that he believed in." Her voice, her breath shook with frustration. When she remembered what that jerk said about Marlowe regretting being there in his last moments, Hitch chewed at the inner lining of her bottom lip, an act which pulled her away from any feelings of helplessness or weakness.

Taking a deep breath, the young woman ran her dainty fingers through her wavy, tousled hair; a sharp sigh being expelled from her parted and quivering lips. The anger that she couldn't show anyone earlier, began to spill through. As the seconds expired, the silence was replaced with the sound of Hitch's boot colliding with the cold, stone floor. Stomp after stomp. "Marlowe isn't like that!" She ranted, stomping continuously. "Marlowe isn't a coward!" Her outburst continues, stopping only when she finally hung her head low, hazel eyes staring at the cold, lifeless floor. A sob. The tears she tried so hard to contain, spilling in droplets... helpless, just like her. "...because if he was a coward... he would still be here... arguing with me..."

"...right, Annie?" In that instance, Hitch allowed herself to drop to a sit on the chair that was in front of Annie's crystal prison. For a moment, she propped her elbows atop her thighs before burying her face against her palms. She was so tired. Of everything. Of feeling that what she was doing hardly mattered. Of how she kept on losing people before she could say what she truly meant to say. Of losing them before she could make a proper connection.

"Why are all the boys around me like this?" Sighing deeply again, she raised her head, gaze now affixed on the other girl. "Hey Annie. You said Marlowe reminded you of someone, right? Do you ever just get the need to want to see them again?" There was a scoff in her tone, her features contorting in a way that expressed the bitterness of loss. "I didn't even get to apologize to him for all the ridicule I threw at him."

"I know it's too much of a bother, but can you do me a favor anyway?" For some reason, Hitch always seemed to find herself asking the other for favors much like that one time with someone's missing daughter. "Tell me, Annie. Do you think I'm good enough to try and continue the fight he gave his life up for?" Yeah right. Who was she kidding? Like she would ever be. Even without Leonhart telling her the answer, it felt like Hitch knew it either way. But still. But still.

Hey Marlowe, would you laugh at me if you could hear me right now?

[freeworldallahexecutivembaclass]

I apologize to gang members and I promise I moved on from that lifestyle since they letting me coexist with them in New York well go enjoy your life guys smoke your weed and sell your weed gaunja they can't harass you arrest you no more I did that for you I know y'all getting crazy money out there and yes I forgot to say that I got apartment buildings in my name The Henry apartments in Brooklyn New York City across the street from my picture as Biggie Smalls one of them where I legalized pot gaunja weed and the buddington marijuana the good stuff from and also with these videos I could see my dude 😎 and friend do his thing wonder sometimes am on the same path as Trump was I got the accomplishments and every day I wake up to more accomplishments the apartment buildings the hospitals and even street named after me and don't forget Henry Hall the meteor shower in front of the New York City courthouses because of my work on Rikers and their inmates getting computers to read and search for jobs while on Rikers I hope they give it to the adolescence so they can kick the criminal behavior at a young age their is good stuff on the Rikers Island tablet programs and they gave them video games to play that is hot keep them busy instead of keeping them frustrated and stressed out in anxiety that's too much punishment give them a break sad to say I moved on from Love and Hip Hop New York the TV show I wish them good luck but we moved on from each other and no to Hip Hop superstars trying and keeping getting me arrested talking about Im harassing them when they are the people harassing me with their police friends and the courtrooms and gotta ask them to stay in New York when I'm the one feeding my community and helping out community not them and no I don't play in anybody tournament or game they got going on I got my own lane and my own game going on 😭 good luck to them know what happened to Hip Hop and Hollywood they tried to do some stuff to me using dark magic now they want to see what happened well they rather try a scandal than letting me live my life and conduct business I'm not dropping my business ideas I got a sure winner that is my confidence talking like I'm suppose to be talking about that I figure I got my list of accomplishments done I know I can get them deals done that is personal and I'm going private into the business sector away from my public servant now 👍 and that is hot and from the Donald I'm forgiven and I said no to the media and the funny mock trials with the courtrooms no thank you I'm legit get off of me and stop watching me their is no reason to be watching me they got me under surveillance I said no to that and I said yes to the Governor and Mayor and no to Correction officers and NYPD EMT workers I'm keeping my hospital though all I see that it helps and cure people of sickness and diseases and I sponsor that plus it's program really mean this page on social media I'm hot 🔥 right now on fire my critics is baking mad they trying to get all my signs and buildings down I laugh at my haters nah it's aight people hate and no to MTA workers except my family that work there and yes to the King and Queen of England my family my blood and yes to Jay Z and Beyonce my family now and no don't talk for me with them I'm their family now and me and 50 Cent cool now man that is the truth he said Hey Allen keep the books

Watch the videos you will see that my rise to power is beautiful now and I realize it my only downfall is my critics is stressing me while I was getting famous I didnt know I was a star until I started seeing my name everywhere and my work going through my laws being passed to help the city of New York and hopefully cities like New York Little Rock Arksansas, Baltimore , New Jersey , Louisiana, and wherever people need help and a program like mines they should follow suit hopefully they follow suit because New York the hood is winning again the weed boys got smoke and cops can't harass them temporary seasonal workers is getting their training and full employment and more money on their checks yes more money on their checks and they about to get more money with this new governor and mayor in office so things is looking good for New Yorkers they paid me I get to exercise and prove to New Yorkers that I deserve another to work in the workforce again plus I got my own business well my education on my own business that I'm getting so I can't speak on that because I'm still in the learning phase but I been winner in everything so I'm confident about myself plus the cards I have been dealt is looking and my lady friends said I could pitch to them they doing good and don't mind me trying to pitch my business ideas to them they will let me get on in the game I want to play big business I won everything else why not and I hope my Riverside Drive plans win for the factories ferry museum and more job opportunities for this community

My New York City accomplishments

I got hotels for the homeless in New York City 2021

I got Amazon workers their union contract

I got Starbucks workers their union contract

I got the minimum wage increased from $ 11 dollars an hour to $ 15 dollars to $ 17 dollars an hour

I got more money put on the housing vouchers the city feps and steps voucher so that homeless individuals and women with their kids and husband and wife can have better housing and a better life for themselves and their family And it's only going to get better more housing more safer housing where the housing crew does it's job and provide safe clean housing toxic free air conditioners and heating free cable watch some good TV shows and movies and enjoy their summer and winter and they get WI Fi now hooked up with their house packages and hopefully more money on the voucher to help rehabilitating families to get their lives together better housing and better schools for their kids equal a better future don't forget to give New people moving into their apartment fire safety 🦺 training courses on unplugging their wires from the outlets and child safety outlets not leaving the oven on or stove on or leaving the stove and ovens on unattended child safety windows no water near electronics and electrical devices carbon dioxide early detectors and smoke detectors no smoking 🚭🚬 around fire hazardous materials and we should reduce the number of accidents and tragedies in NYCHA called the housing projects in our neighborhoods and enjoy your cable wifi air conditioning heat in the winter and your Citibikes .

I got the fair chance to compete for a job act of 2019 in New York City and California hopefully other cities and countries are going to follow suit

I legalized marijuana in New York City

I cleaned up fox square in Brooklyn , NY

Free college education in New York City

Free gym membership for people on Medicare

Citi bikes for New Yorkers

Benefit monetary assistance increase for snap and cash assistance recipients

Rikers Island tablet program podcasts and video games for inmates in jail to help stop crime violent crime in prison and to help rehabilitate the guy or woman and stop the back and forth of them going to jail . The tablet have podcasts and programs for Job Search legal research and books to read to help them become better citizens in the free society .

Laws I'm proposing

Job Safety and secure act - 2022

Fair banking act - 2022

Retirement investment plan for employees IRA act - 2022

Ready , willing and able Expansive territory act - 2023

Riverside drive Expansion project act - 2023

The new ferry from New Jersey to New York City - 2023

School sports culture expansion Act Copperas Cove , Texas

Rikers Island schooling expansion act Added on Basic education classes on Rikers Island on the tablet , college programs on the program , online school on the Tablet . -2023

NYCHA ( New York City Housing projects ) plans and ideas for improvement

The New Trench town rock - 2021 , 2022 , 2023

And many other pitches and proposals rebuilding the workforce , wages and structure of New York city and cities like New York .

Next order of business : My Plans for infrastructure in a utopian society hotels jobs pay raise on citizens paycheck from 15 $ - 17 $ dollars minimum wage pay to 19$ dollars to 20$ dollars an hour to better provide for all costs emergencies uncovered insurance payments due to partial health care coverage and full union membership granted to employees of any company free education grants and school loans payment plans

Pay raise for school teachers in every city at junior high school , high school and elementary school level since they are stewards of our children's future .

Pay raise for civil service workers and Civil service exams made and updated daily to the public , school crossing guards , correction officers , supervisors , probation officers , construction site supervisors .

Pay raise for day care workers

Free day care services for temporarily unemployed mothers and fathers

Pay raise for city fire fighters and police officers .

Job contractors fulfilling contracts with back to work public assistance programs that train and employ job candidates without their high school diploma or GED and granting them full employment with full medical and medicare coverage union membership and back to school Acces Vocational rehabilitation counseling and restoration of financial aid assistance for non violent crimes like drug sellers and abusers to stop recidivism to prison and to cure an addiction to a habit of committing perpetual crimes thus creating repeat offenders .

Jobs moving back to inner cities through the effort of study and research groups from urban planning courses from their neighboring colleges .

Tax abatement and financial incentives and business incentives and tax breaks .

Joe Biden and vice president Kamala Harris should include this law into all of their plan for cleaning up America I'm glad to see it go beyond New York City and other counties in New York I want to share this honor with author Michelle Alexander who I did my research from her book about mass incarceration of the black and Latino community and the political office and my friends that help put this law in place I reached out to hopefully stop the recidivism to prison and hopefully to help some of my friends and people that go back and forth to jail because they couldn't get a job due to the felonies on their record I recommend a certificate of relief of disabilities to all people returning to society if they haven't given you one go get it from your county's or borough courthouse it works wonders .

Next order of business : Tax cuts to help the everyday person keep more of their check in their pockets cut the tax rates in New York City by 4 percent I see it as New York State taxes % 8.82 to % 4 percent and business tax cuts to create more jobs Proposal For a Wage increase of $ 22 dollars an hour Including : Fire safety directors Security guards Librarians Fed Ex workers UPS workers Ready Willing and able with free vocational grants from access vr programs they should hire vocational rehabilitation counselors and job developers finding permanent housing and permanent job placement after the clients training Stock Clerks and cashier's at major stores like Gristedes , C Town , met foods , Burlington coat factory wage increase for all warehousing and factory workers jack pallet and forklift training for people with no experience and a starting salary at $ 17 - 19 $ dollars an hour and it increase with more time on the job how about the first year at that base salary of $ 17 - 19 $ dollars and on the even of that year the employee gets an raise of $ 2 dollars more on their check and other financial incentives as cash allocation from their check for newly place employee mutual fund packages besides with other benefits that said company is offering this helps to place that company on the stock market because of the huge huge employee buy in it is like employers investing in their employees their stores and company .

Educational requirements for jobs posted is less than a high school diploma but the job candidate has to be in a vocational program or GED preparation course half or full time hours some jobs don't require that but should want that for a guaranteed better future more certified or certificate more money on your checks learn more earn more .

Civil service jobs and exams posted weekly .

Sales professional salary plus commission on sales and stock options for mutual funds packages as bonuses with an wage increase to $ 19 dollars to $ 21 dollars an hour .

Newly added benefits to a job description benefits an employer on jobs posted give to their employees an employer get to hold back cash or take money out of an employees check to put towards a mutual funds stock fund option to help that client make more money as a second job the municipals funds and stock and funds and stock and then you gotta get hedge funds option packaged in to help the employees money make more money for them talk about overtime whew and at the same time that local market and store owner can put his company on the stock market and give out public shares thus in the end making it a good investment a regular place of shopping in a family like environment it is like getting to know your deli clerk , butcher , bakery attendant again only this time you are making money with the people you are spending money with Think about it that in turns build better communities better stores customer relationships safer neighborhoods and the beautifying of economically depressed environments more money for your kids college tuition school supplies newer roads being built leading to and from better neighborhoods and businesses and this is a future that we all as fellow New Yorkers can build together .

Don't laugh at my glasses and yes that is a Steve Harvey jacket 🧥 no funny stuff like not being funny or anything that is yes an actual Steve Harvey jacket over the hoody he got his own 📻 radio show now no lie I had to laugh no punking me or the funny stuff that they do on this show but I'm the guy that legalized weed it never really hit me until I think about it yes that I legalized weed in New York on Match 31st , 2021 but I also got free gym membership for people on medicare and yes true free college education for people in New York City look you could smoke get a bike hit the gym and get your education all in one day in New York City .

This is for young mothers without any help in the house feed your babies good food 🥝 so they grow up and play sports and make their mom proud 🪴. It is never too late for your education learn with your kids use free daycare services and self learn any skills you need to increase your value in the employment market . I play it cool and dig all jive that's the reason I stay alive .

[allthingsarmin]

fratboy/stoner armin!! in love with how you write asshole! armin ❤

Thank you for your request! I feel I didn’t do a good job with this one, so I will probably go back later and rewrite it. (And I really appreciate your feedback <3 I hope this dose of asshole!armin will satisfy your needs haha)~

MINORS DNI! Ft. NSFW TOPICS (weed, one mention of vomit, and sex (groping, drunk noncon), mentions of religion, one mention of sexaul assault).

Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who dresses like a gentleman - wearing white shorts and a white button-up collared shirt under a cerulean sweater that compliments his mesmerizing blue eyes as well as a dainty silver watch on his left wrist and always comes to class with a freshly shaven face and cologne that is just a little too “manly” for him - but acts like a complete hooligan, making inappropriate jokes in class, pranking innocent passersby on campus, and getting black-out drunk at frat parties every Friday night.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who looks so poised and has such a refined posture, having enough manners (like holding the door open) to swoon enough girls but is such a menace when it comes to anything serious… like being harshly shushed in the library because he was being too loud or skipping finals to go on a spontaneous road trip with his frat buddies then sending an email to his professor saying he was sick, even printing out a fake doctor’s note, or pranking the sorority across the street by TPing their house or even how he can’t seem to care less when the police ruthlessly question him because there have been so many reports of sexual assault done by his frat friends.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who thinks he is so smart because he’s a business major and genuinely believes he is better than everyone else because he gets out of class to go to all these events even though he is undoubtedly one of the most irresponsible and reckless people on campus… having unprotected sex with countless unfortunate women who have fallen for his false compliments, throwing parties that become too big for him to handle - so loud the police become involved, so messy with red cups littering the floor and vomit being found in every trashcan in the house - and failing nearly every class he’s in because “it’s too easy for me, my advisor put me in the wrong class, and the teacher is an old hag.”

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin whose backpack is filled with anything but college textbooks and notebooks, like a chewed pencil, three packs of condoms, some headphones, and an energy drink.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who swears he’s being a good boy when his rich parents who are on their abroad trip ask him how he’s doing over the phone but is actually spending most of his weekly allowance buying weed and smoking it with his frat buddies, who often gets into intense fights with them because he “knows he had two ounces left, but now he only has one,” and who shows up to class high the few times he does actually decide to go - eyes red, a constant small smirk, can’t stop rambling about useless things.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who walks together with his big group of frat friends, taking up large amounts of room on the sidewalk and in restaurants, cat-calling girls they think look fuckable and loudly mocking those who look prude.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who has a main Instagram where he looks so well-mannered, posting pictures with his family or his frat buddies when they go on a trip together but also has a secret Instagram where he posts thirst traps, follows barely clothed women, and stalks accounts of girls who go the same college as him, even DMing the men at your college to see if they have your nudes.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who knows how handsome he is, who knows how easy it is to make your knees weak and your heart flutter when he looks at you from across the campus soccer field with such intent, biting his lip, maliciously smiling because yet another girl has fallen for his seemingly innocent aura as you excitedly wave at him.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who revels in the fact that he can convince you to do anything. When he’s whining so pathetically in the driver’s seat and pressuring you to just hit the blunt one time while he locks you in his car that’s parked on the far end of the campus parking lot. And you, so submissive and selfless sitting in the passenger seat, not wanting to disappoint him because his frown harshly tugs at your heart, take a hit, choking on the fumes and heart pounding at the unfamiliarity as a warm buzz sets in.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who pressures you to skip class with him so that you both can go to the campus cafeteria and buy an unholy amount of cookies and chips because he’s high and he’s hungry… and now you know why his bedsheets at the frat house reek of weed and why his crusty floor is littered with food wrappers.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who so easily persuaded you to play those type of sexually suggestive games at the weekend frat party where everyone is drunk, breath seething with vodka, and sweatily rubbing up against each other, so horny for a release, and so desperate to feel something besides the headache from the loud music… who you somehow wind up in the closet with, his right arm holding you close against his body as his left hand slithers into your panties and forces itself into your cunt because he wanted you to play ‘seven minutes in heaven.’

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who promises that there’s nothing to be afraid of because he’s ‘secretly a sweetheart’ but calls you his “bitch” and pats his thigh, signaling that he wants you to come sit in his lap so that he can feel you up in front of his friends at the frat party when drinking cheap, shitty beer.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who swears he won’t bite but gets you so drunk at parties that you can’t even tell him no when he takes you upstairs, locks the door, and practically forces his hard, throbbing cock into you while holding you into a mating press, covering your mouth to suppress your cries as his tongue trails your jawline and neck.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who prays before every dinner, keeps a bible in the lowest drawer of his nightstand, and goes to church promptly at 10am every Sunday with his frat buddies despite being hungover. Sitting in the front pews, he listens intently to the preacher, letting the word of God spill into his heart even though he was rigorously fisting his cock the night before to your pictures on Instagram, cumming four times but his balls still swollen and cock still desperate for your messy cunt, having to hold back his needy whimpers each time his slender fingers brisk past his sensitive tip as he imagines your warm, wet tongue licking off the pre-cum.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who invites you to a Sunday lunch with his frat. Of course, he looks so polished: a clean, white button-up with a baby blue sweater hanging around his shoulders and a pair of new Sperrys. When you show him what you’re wearing, he tells you that you could do better as he convinces you to wear something a little low-cut but not too much because he doesn’t want his frat buddies to think he’s dating a slut.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin whose friends look at you like starving dogs when you both finally get to the restaurant, never including you in the conversation except for when they comment on your body and how irresistible it is.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who doesn’t defend you and instead soaks up all of this appraisal.

“Yeah, she’s a good toy to play with,” he proudly smiles while gripping your thigh in his strong, pale hands.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who makes you order a small salad and only allows you to drink water because “you need to watch your figure.”

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who’s the perfect predator, the perfect manipulator. He can do whatever he wants without ever getting caught, howling at the fact that you try to tell advisors or teachers how Armin violated and manipulated you, but they just never believe you. “You’re talking about Armin? Armin Arlert? He would never do anything like that,” they chuckle… because everyone knows Armin’s an angel; he’s part of the frat, so that makes him a good boy, right?

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who you can’t possibly ever escape from because he’s done such a good job at manipulating you to be his little slutty girlfriend, his heaven-like appearance making it impossible for others to believe what a devil he is, isolating you as he convinced all of your friends that you’re just some cock-hungry whore.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who has done such a good job at defiling you, successfully taking your virginity and eagerly pressuring you to do things for him, letting him so easily enter your sloppy cunt as he takes in the sight of your tender breasts, contorted face, and bright red hand imprints on your thighs.

ᵔᴥᵔ Fratboy!armin who despite all the manipulation and sexist comments, you don’t want to leave because he smells so sweet thanks to all the treats he eats; because his arm muscles look so good when he plays golf with his rude friends; because he makes your high from weed more fun as you two cuddle and talk about nonsense; because he is able to bury your shy side and awaken your submissive side as he slowly degrades the human being in you and raises a filthy slut whose pussy he makes so wet, so needy, and so pathetically sloppy.

[thekillerblogofkillers]

Herbert Mullin (1947-?)

Herbert William Mullin is an American serial killer, responsible for the murders of 13 people in California in the 1970s. When Mullin was 18 years old, his best friend Dean Richardson died and he built a shrine to him in his bedroom. He later confessed that he was scared that he may be gay, despite having a long-term girlfriend. At the age of 21, Mullin’s family, with his permission, committed him to a mental hospital. He would extinguish cigarettes on his skin, attempted to enter the priesthood and would pound on walls and floors, shouting at people who were not there. He would often discharge himself after just a few days. Later, FBI profiler Robert K. Ressler said Mullin was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, possibly accelerated by using LSD or marijuana. By 1972, 25-year-old Mullin had moved back home with his parents in Felton, California, in the Santa Cruz Mountains. By this time he was hearing voices that told him an earthquake was coming, and that only human sacrifice could help him save California; Mullin’s birthday, April 18, happened to be the anniversary of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, which he thought was significant. Mullin believed that the Vietnam War had produced enough death to hold back the earthquakes, but with the war winding down he would need to start killing people in order to keep the earthquake away. On October 13, 1972, Mullin claimed his first victim when he beat Lawrence White to death with a baseball bat. White, a homeless 55-year-old man, was hitchhiking and Mullin hit him after tricking him into looking at the car engine. Mullin later stated that the victim was in fact Jonah from the Bible, and that he sent Mullin a telepathic message saying, “Pick me up and throw me over the boat. Kill me so that others will be saved.” His body was discovered the following day. 11 days later, 24-year-old Mary Guilfoyle, a college student, was running late and decided to hitchhike. Mullin picked her up and stabbed her through the chest and back. He dissected her body, scattering her remains along a road.

On November 2, 1972, Mullin confessed his sins at church. In his paranoid schizophrenic state, he believed Father Henri Tomei wanted to volunteer as his next sacrifice to prevent the earthquakes. He beat, stabbed and kicked the priest, who bled to death in the confessional while a parishioner looked on and ran away. The witness described a tall, young man in dark clothing and black boots, but this did not help police, who speculated that Tomei possibly startled a robber. Following this incident, Mullin attempted to join the U.S. Marines, but failed the drug test. This rejection fuelled Mullin’s delusions of conspiracies and groups of “hippies” out to get him. He stopped taking drugs, believing they were causing his problems in life. In December 1972, Mullin bought a .22-calibre revolver and decided to kill Jim Gianera, a high school friend who had sold him marijuana, blaming him for his rejection from the Marines. However, when he arrived at Gianera’s house, he discovered his old friend had moved. The cabin was now occupied by Kathy Francis, who gave Mullin Gianera’s new address. There, Mullin killed Gianera and his wife before returning to the Francis home, where he shot and killed her and her 2 sons (aged 4 and 9). As Francis’ husband, who wasn’t there at the time, was a known drug dealer, this was thought to be the motive for the triple homicide. Prosecutors later used the murder of Kathy Francis to dispute Mullin’s claims of insanity, as he killed her to remove a witness who could link him to the murder of Jim Gianera. Around a month later, in February 1973, Mullin was wandering around Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park, when he encountered 4 teenage boys camping illegally. He walked over to them, and claimed to be a park ranger. He ordered them to leave as they were “polluting” the forest, but they refused. Mullin killed all 4 boys and abandoned their bodies, which were found a week later.

The final murder took place on February 13, 1973. Mullin was driving through Santa Cruz when he passed Fred Perez, a retired fisherman, who was weeding his lawn. For no apparent reason, Mullin doubled back and used his rifle to kill the man with a single shot to the heart. He then got back into the car and drove away. This incident occurred in broad daylight and there were several witnesses, one of whom got Mullin’s license plate number. He was captured a few minutes later and a “docile” Mullin was arrested without incident. During interrogation, Mullin admitted to his crimes, telling police that voices in his head told him to kill people in order to prevent an earthquake. He claimed that the only reason there had not been an earthquake recently was due to his handiwork. As Mullin admitted his crimes, the focus of the trial was whether he was sane and culpable for his actions. The fact that he showed evidence of covering his tracks and premeditation was highlighted by the prosecution, while the defence argued that Mullin had a history of mental illness and had paranoid schizophrenia. On August 19, 1973, Mullin was declared guilty of first-degree murder (premeditated) in the cases of Jim Gianera and Kathy Francis), while for the other 8 murders Mullin was found guilty of second-degree murder. He also pled guilty to second-degree murder in the case of Father Henry Tomei. Mullin has been denied parole 8 times since 1980. He is known to have interacted with Edmund Kemper during his incarceration, sharing a cell once. Kemper recalled: “Well, [Mullin] had a habit of singing and bothering people when somebody tried to watch TV. So I threw water on him to shut him up. Then, when he was a good boy, I’d give him some peanuts. Herbie liked peanuts. That was effective because pretty soon he asked permission to sing. That’s called behaviour modification treatment.”

[littlefreya]

The Kitten & the Bear - Part 1

Intro: This story is a collab and was written by both @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ and I. It was born out of a fun role play we have going on. We ended up having so much a fun with this particular idea that we thought we should post it as a 3 part story and share it with the rest!

| Read Part 2  | Read Part 3 |

Summary: After a night of drinking in town get Walter’s bratty wife ends up with pure chaos and the overprotective grumpy husband is having none of her shenanigans. 

Pairing: Detective Walter Marshall x OFC (first person pov) 

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Bratty behaviour, vandalism, dominant overprotectiveness, BDE, husband stalking his wife, sexual innuendo, dirty inappropriate talks, mentions of sex and oral, weed and alcohol usage. Sex in the next parts :D Walter is a Boomer. 

A/N: We didn’t beta it and did transform it from 2nd to 1st person POV, really hoping you guys will enjoy it as we did. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

Title: The Kitten & the Bear

Nothing chilled my heart more than waking up in an empty bed. Walter was already gone, leaving his side of the mattress cold and abandoned. A heavy sigh broke from my lips, I stroked the ghost of the kiss that still tingled on my cheek, knowing he planted it there before heading to work. 

Sadness seeped into my heart as I realised I won't see him today. Our work scheduled conflicted and I have scheduled a "date night" with my girls in the evening. Picking up my phone, I texted him a pouty emoji and then headed to get my day started.

Walter left me on read, which just fuelled the brat in me. When he called during his lunch break, he was taciturn as usual, and most of the call was about his disapproval of us girls going out without at least one male friend or a boyfriend to chaperone.

"Oh my god, Walter, this is not the 50s! Women can leave their house without a husband tagging along!" I grunted and berated him, "stop acting like someone is going to kidnap me!!! I'm an adult woman!" I snapped at him while sitting at the cafe. People sitting around stared quietly as I hung up the phone, and stormed out.

~~~

Walter looked at his mobile phone, shocked. He couldn't even remember the last time someone hung up on him, let along his wife.

"Fucking brat," he muttered as he pocketed it. 

After lunch, he went into the precinct. Since it was flu season and they were having a shortage of uniformed officers, he volunteered to patrol tonight. Assuming he might even be able to check up on me wherever I get to town. Just to keep me safe. That's right. Not from jealousy. Not because I'll be all dolled up and tipsy and every man in the vicinity will ogle me.

~~~

As the evening loomed, I was in dire need of letting loose. Walter had left me incredibly frustrated, acting like a police officer from hell rather than my husband. Going through my closet, I stumbled upon the most outrageous piece of wardrobe: a black strappy thing with corset details at the front. The same one I've worn for our first date which of course ended up with Walter and I dry humping like two horny teenagers at the back of his truck and him eating me out until I came all over his beard 4 times. 

I slapped a dark red lipstick and put on a pair of red "fuck me" pumps before leaving to meet the gals in a new night club that had just opened. I might or might not have a rolled-up joint in my purse.

~~~

Walter was sitting in a patrol vehicle on the opposite side of the street from the new fancy club with translucent walls. We were all sitting beside the window at a small table full of cocktail glasses, but the girls were gesturing toward the dance floor. Walter chose a dark spot on the street to park the car and was wearing a beanie. 

But he didn't need it. He knew I was oblivious to him and also to the men staring at me from 3 different tables. He ground his teeth frustrated when he first noticed that I was wearing that dress. His blood boiled as I was slowly sipping a cocktail with a sexy little pout around the long straw.

"Let's dance!!! I wanna dance!!!" I whined at my friend Keylah, grabbing her wrist and dragging her with me. My posture was slightly unstable after two cocktails and probably not enough food to pad my belly. She followed me to the dance floor while Stephanie remained in her seat, talking to some guy just for the sake of trolling. He'd been hitting on each one of us unsuccessfully. 

After an hour of dancing with Keylah, swaying my ass in ways that didn't leave any imagination to the men lurking, I remembered the little treat I had in my purse and decided we should take a small break to breathe some fresh air. 

I grabbed the girls, and we walked outside.

"Okay, don't you dare mention this to Walter," I warned them as I took the joint out from my purse.

"Daddy Magnum gonna punish you?" Steph teased while I lit the weed. 

"Oh, you have no idea, he gave me shit about seeing you tonight without a male chaperone, like this is Mad Man or something." 

"Woah! Walter is a boomer!!!" Keylah teased, and we all laughed hysterically. 

~~~

Unbeknownst to me, Walter was watching us dance from his patrol car, getting more and more frustrated by the hour. He observed as I gathered both girls and came out on the street, walking a couple of meters away from the entrance. A frown fell on his face as he saw me taking a lighter out from my purse.

"She doesn't even smoke, what the hell?" he fumed. 

His eyes widened when he saw the telltale shape of a joint between my fingers. His mouth was agape as I lit it up and started smoking and passing it around. "What the fuck? Where did she get that?" he muttered incredulously.

'It's fucking illegal in Minnesota, what the fuck? A cop's wife at that!' He thought, rage simmering in his gut.  

The police radio suddenly began buzzing, the sergeant calling on the line. 

"Hey Marshall, Toby came in for the night shift after all. Do you want him to keep you company?" 

'And see Walter's wife going to town on a spliff? No fucking way.' 

"No, Sarge, thanks. It's uh... calm tonight." He frowned from afar. "Nothing but law-abiding citizens," he replied, hoping his sarcasm didn't go through while he was watching the wife of a respected detective drunk and smoking weed in the great outdoors.

"All right" the sarge concluded and cut the line, and Walter put back the radio.

‘Un-fucking-believable.'

~~~

The girls and I fell into a fit of wild giggles, thoroughly buzzed and high at the same time. My skirt rode up my thighs, and I didn't even bother fixing it as the combination of drugs and alcohol made me frivolous and careless. 

"Is Walter such a nerd in bed too? Is he one of those guys who won't even make a sound because they are ashamed of it?" Stephanie asked to which I immediately snorted.

"Walter fucks like a beast from hell," I answered and put off the remains of the joint against the heel of my shoe. 

"I had to go to the gyno at least four times in the past because he was too violent, and trust me, the noise he makes, luckily no one called the police yet…" 

"Jennifer, your husband is the police!" Keylah answered, and we burst into another fit of giggles which then gradually died down. 

The same man who bugged us from before followed us outside, giving us some stares and making a suckling voice with his lips. I snorted at him and told him to fuck off before putting my arms around my girls. 

"This place sucks, let's go grab something to eat from the store, if Walter sees me like this I will NEVER hear the end of it".

~~~

Walter was watching us walk away, still furious about my illicit behaviour. He promised himself that he'd have a serious conversation with me about this tomorrow. He gave us two blocks of a head start and then ignited the engine of the car and made a U-turn, slowly he rolled towards the store and saw us enter. He made another U-turn in front of the store to park across the street. He just hoped that we'll buy some nachos and a coke and then call it a night, and call a cab to go home.

~~~

It was close to 1am. We barged into the store, marching through as if we owned the place. Keylah stopped by the condoms section and threw a bottle of lube in my direction. "Here you go, Jennifer, you gonna need it".

I laughed and threw it back at her, grabbing a bag of chips and a bottle of water. 

"Better fuck his brains before he starts asking where you've been tonight," Stephanie added. 

"Can you girls please behave?" The clerk-lady requested politely, giving us a prudent look. I rolled my eyes at her and then stopped short as I saw a large stuffed grizzly bear that reminded me of Walter. I grabbed it and hugged it tightly just as I got the sudden urge to misbehave.

"Girls…" I whispered, making them come closer, "bet you a 20 I can sneak this out without paying!"

~~~

Walter's shoulders slumped, and he let out an irritated groan when he saw one of the girls throwing things inside the store. Though, he sighed in relief when I paused this stupid game, and a small smile tugged the edge of his mouth when I hugged a huge stuffed bear that reached down to my thighs and was high above the top of my head as I squeezed it to my torso. 

The way I looked at the bear reminded him of the loving looks I always gave him. But a sense of foreboding assaulted him as we started whispering and pointed at the door.

~~~

"Okay, okay… shush!" I whispered way too obvious and held the stuffed animal behind my back.

"Hey Keylah, can you pay for my chips?" I asked and backed away toward the door, nearly stumbling on my heels and holding the laughter in my gut. 

Noticing my attempt, the old woman cleared her throat, giving me a glare, "You are going to have to pay for that or I will call the police…"

"Her husb…"

"Shut up, Stephanie!" Keylah shouted and threw a bottle of lube in her direction, accidently hitting my shoulder, which made me drop the bear on the floor. 

"Key, you fucking bitch!!!" I answered and picked up the bottle, throwing it back at her. 

"Hey stop that!!!!" The clerk demanded and walked back behind the counter, picking up her phone. 

We ignored her, laughing like schoolgirls and throwing the bottle back and forth between us. Boxes of tampons and condoms fell to the floor as we moved through the hygiene section shouting playfully. 

As Keylah threw the bottle at me for the 12th time, I lifted it and threw it so hard it hit the window and broke it, causing the store's alarm to go off immediately.

"Oh… fu……..ck" I uttered.

~~~

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Walter panicked as he saw us vandalising the store. He was immediately ready to jump out of the car, but then it would be obvious he'd been keeping an eye on me. He had to wait for the call. 

He wasn't even hoping that the clerk would not involve the police in the matter. She has to. ‘Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck.’ 

When he saw the lady picking up the phone, he buried his face in his palms and rubbed it tiredly.

"Stupid, fucking bitches" he sighed, not believing his wife being so reckless. 

He picked up the buzzing radio and said, "Marshall. I'm here. On it." 

Without delay, he took the beanie off and got out of the car with his badge and gun ready.

~~~

Fingers dug into my hair, I stared wide-eyed at the broken window, immediately regretting all my decisions in the last couple of hours. 

'Walter was going to fucking kill me'. 

"I am soooooooo……." I began to say, turning to the clerk slowly while Keylah and Steph held their hands over their mouths. "So sorry." I stretched out while the alarm continued ringing in my ears. 

Then just like out of a nightmare, stepping through shards of broken glass with his big black boots, I saw Walter walking in, his brows knit together, his badge and his gun held out but kept low. He was enormous and menacing, yet the sight of him comforted me.

"Oh thank god, it's you!" I call out relieved.

~~~

The glass cracked beneath his steps as he walked in. He looked around and checked the store for cameras. 'Fuck, there were CCTVs'. 

He hoped to snatch me away and take care of the situation without involving... well himself but now that there was evidence it wasn't possible anymore. I was looking at him like a frightened little girl, but he couldn't help me, and frankly, he didn't feel like it either.

He looked at the clerk, showed her his badge and said in a neutral tone "MPD. What seems to be the problem?" 

~~~

My breath hitched at his "cop voice" and the way he asked the clerk. 

Stepping back and standing in the middle of the group, the three of us gaped at him with utter dumbfoundedness. Both my heart and gut dropped to the messy floor out of fear, and the way he carried himself, looking so menacing and authoritative made my panties drenched with arousal. 

"Officer, thank god you arrived! These three tried to steal a stuffed animal and started wreaking havoc in the store, throwing stuff around like children and speaking offensively!" The old woman explained and stood in the middle of the mess, looking helpless. 

My eyes rounded with false innocence, and I nibbled my bottom lip, giving Walter a vulnerable look. 

Walter was patiently listening to the clerk. Not a muscle flinched on his face as if he'd known everything. He took his notebook and a report form out and took care of the paperwork. 

The old lady eyed the three of us nervously while Walter was scribbling, and she hesitantly asked, "I'm sorry, Officer, but shouldn't you handcuff them? They might run."

Walter's curly head lifted, and he flashed the lady a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry, ma'am. They won't run."

"Is he serious?" Steph whispered, and I elbowed her, giving Walter a rather pissed off smile as he pretended not to know us at all and treated me like any other criminal.

Was it that just for show? Probably. We were going to have a serious talk about boundaries once we'd get home.

Walter finished writing his report and made the lady sign it before turning to look at the three of us, clenching his jaw. 

After a long, stern silence, I finally spoke, "Can I still get the teddy bear?"

Walter's nostrils flared as he dug into his pocket, pulled out a 20-dollar bill, slammed it on the counter and said to the clerk "For the bear."

At first, the lady was dumbfounded, then she blurted out outraged "Why are you buying a gift for a criminal?"

Walter didn't even spare her a look. He picked up the bear and looked at me with unflinching, stern eyes that made all three of us take a step backwards.

"Because she's my fucking wife."

The tone of his voice made the three of us startle, and I released a small gasp, seeing the look on his face. Walter made a gesture with his hand singling us to walk out of the store in order, and we did as he commanded. At the same time, my eyes gave him a mischievous smirk, mistaking this behaviour for a show.

Walter left the store last and immediately commanded, "To the car".

When we got there on the opposite side of the street, he opened the car and shoved the teddy bear on the passenger seat, then turned back, crossed his hands on his chest, and looked at all three of us. 

"Here's how it's gonna happen. We go in the precinct, fill out the forms, you stay the night, and most likely will be charged with a misdemeanour. Although the weed might be more problematic." He glared at me pointedly. 

The girls and I collectively gasped. 

"Now get in the back seat, all of you."

With shuddering legs, Keylah and Steph obediently entered the patrol car. I stared at Walter as he stood there towering over me, his massive arms crossed around his broad chest.

Still intoxicated, I looked at him with disbelief, realising two things: he arrived at the scene in less than two minutes after the lady called the police, which is impossible. And two, he couldn't possibly know I had weed on me unless… 

"Were you stalking me?!" I called out, ignoring the police officer and speaking to my husband. My hands went to my hips, my face sulking. 

"Oh my god, Walter! You were! Weren't you?" I frowned and shook my head, grunting with disgust.

"You are in no position to reproach me for anything right now", Walter said, seemingly calm. "But if you wanna know, I was patrolling in the neighbourhood and decided to check up on you. I saw the way you were shaking your ass for strangers" he spat, but he let his eyes roam the tight dress, and the way he subtly licked his lips made me sure he remembered exactly which dress it was.

"Do as you're fucking told and get in the car or you're gonna find yourself in even bigger trouble." 

"Oh my god, Walter!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled at him and stepped back, throwing my hands in the air furiously.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! MY OWN HUSBAND STALKING ME?! What's next Walter? You gonna put an ankle bracelet thingy on me, so I don't get to leave the house without your fucking permission?!"

I got so angry, my hands pushed at his chest, to which he didn't even budge, and only his jaw tightened.

"I am NOT getting into that car, and you are going to let Keylah and Steph go before you are going to be in trouble!"

Keylah and Steph were both watching with utter fascination as they saw the growing tension in Walter's posture.

Once Keylah and Steph were inside the car, they felt like the immediate danger was over. Their drunkenness and high made them reckless again and they started cheering me in the verbal fight with my husband.

Walter was on the verge of bursting, it was evident from his face. He took a menacing step towards me and despite my anger, a pang of arousal shot in my core.

"Get. in the. fucking. car" he growled in a barely audible voice. He gave me one last chance to voluntarily obey him.

I moved closer toward him, my head tilting up to meet his menacing gaze, my breasts ghostly brushing against his hard torso.

"I am not going anywhere with you," I answered unflinchingly. "Keep this attitude up, and the whole town will get to enjoy me swaying this ass long before you do." I teasingly slapped my own ass and then smirked arrogantly as I heard the girls cheering at the backseat

"That's it."

Quick as lightning, Walter's hands uncrossed and shot out. He grabbed my arms, turned me around with dizzying speed and slammed my torso down on the hood of the police car.

"Jennifer Marshall, you are under arrest for destruction of property, public intoxication and obstruction of a law enforcement officer."

I gasped incredulously as I felt the metal handcuffs closing on my wrists while Walter was performing his duty automatically and methodically. I'd never seen him make an arrest, let alone manhandle me like this.

With my cheek pressed against the cold metal, I could see both Keylah and Steph gape at us, eyes and mouth wide with daze. 

Still intoxicated, I hissed as a shiver of fear and sexual arousal shot through my spine, creeping all the way down to my throbbing core. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I cried out in protest. "I am your wife!"

My attempt to stand up brought my ass to collide with his crotch, where I felt the unmistakable throb of his blood circulating down to his groin. 

"Are you also getting the feeling that they're gonna fuck?" Steph whispered to Keylah, loud enough for us to hear.

"Shush!" she answered and stared, licking her lips. 

"Let me go, you fucking pig!" I screamed and squirmed on the hood helplessly. 

"Anything you say will be held against you in the court of law" Walter continued in his deep cop voice as if I hadn't even spoken.

"Say his dick, girl!" Keylah shouted, and Steph wooed, but they quickly shut up and resorted to concealed giggling as Walter shot angry eyes at them. He stepped closer to secure his hold on the handcuffs, and I felt the warm coarse material of his jeans at the back of my thighs.

"If you don't want to add resisting arrest and possession of narcotics to your offences, shut the fuck up and stop squirming."

"Fuck” I hissed, which didn't go unnoticed by Walter. My ass naturally shifted against his hardening bulge, and I moaned gently, not loud enough for the girls to hear but definitely heard by Walter, who had his hand around my cuffed wrists.

"You're enjoying this, big guy?" I spit out sardonically, "controlling your wife like you always want to, hmm?"

With the alcohol flushing through my veins, mingled with the sheer exhilaration of anger, I became more daring than ever.

"I think you are just scared because we both know you are never going to tame me."

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Worth it

Jj maybank x reader

Promt: 1. “Don’t touch me!” And 7. “I can’t see you get hurt!”

Promt list (angst)

Warnings: physical abuse, blood and injuries, yelling, angst, cussing (these topics can be triggering to some!!!!!!)

Word count: 1837

@dylansslutt I hope this is what you wanted!!! Thank you so much for requesting! I really enjoyed wrighting this and I hope it’s a fun read! Requests are still open! Love ya!

6 years ago I moved from New York City to outer banks, North Carolina. I was the weird new girl from the big city. My family wasn’t rich, not even close. Infact money was the reason we moved here. My dad lost his job because of an alcohol problem and my mom was a police officer. We couldn’t afford to live off just her mortgage, so when my mom got a job offer here in obx we couldn’t turn it down. Here it was cheaper, there was a school for me to go and my mom grew up here so she had some friends. But me, I had no friends, not one. That was until my second week at school, this little blond boy, jj maybank came up to me. We were ten at the time, him and his friends were going to go to the beach later and he said I could come. Because I didn’t have any other friends I wasn’t in any place to turn down this offer. Ever sense then jj and I have been best friends. I didn’t know jj the best out of everyone but I guess that intrigued me. Last year my parents went through a divorce, my dad was losing it, his addiction was getting worse and worse. My mom moved us out leaving my dad with 10,000 dollars to get help. It was hard, even though he was an alcoholic he was still my dad. Jj was there for me the whole time, became closer than ever. Jj knows everything about me, my past, my home life, my favorite ice cream flavor, my favorite place everything. I know as much as I can about jj, I know that his dad beats him, he spends a lot of nights on my couch, I know that he plans to drop out of school and travel and surf. He’s my best friend but the problem is, ever sense that day that he came up to me, I’ve had a crush on him. He didn’t like me that way though and even if he did, “no pogue on pogue macking”.

Today is my 17 birthday, and here that means only one thing, a keger, a big ass keger. I love parties but there’s always trouble at *these* parties. I would prefer to just get drunk and hang out at John b.s place. So I’ve spent the entire morning trying to talk them out of it.

“I swear to god kie!” I yelled

“Don’t even try Y/N!” She said

“Come on you love parties!” John b added

“No, I love small parties, remember the last time we had a keger?! Ya know you almost *drowned*!!!” I said

“It is her birthday guys” Sarah said, Sarah my by best girl friend, I haven’t known her for long but we immediately bonded.

“Oh come on!” Said John b

“Fine, Sarah is right it’s Y/Ns choice” kie said

John b sighed “fine, I’ll call and tell jj”

A few mins later John b hung up the phone

“Alright jj said he’ll be here around 4:00, he says happy birthday, he’s sorry he is not here” John b said

4:30

“Here should have been here 30 minutes ago” John b said

Everyone was laying around John Bs living room, sweating their asses off. We had been waiting for jj, he wasn’t answering his phone. Normally we would just leave it alone but jj never missed my birthday.

“Should we try calling again?” Sarah asked

“We’ve called 15 times, and I texted him” I said shaking my head

It was silent

“I’m going” I said as I stood up

“No the fuck your not!” John b said standing up and blocking my way to the door

“Yes I am! He could be hurt!” I said trying to move John be out of the way

“Y/N you know what he said!” John b said

Yes I did know, the pogues had a list of rules, but jj also had his own

Never go to JJs house

Never under any circumstance break rule number one

“I don’t give a fuck about what he said!” I yelled, when your mom is a cop you pick up on some self defense. John b was in my way, and i would never hurt him…..but jj may be hurt, I had seen first hand what his dad could do. I ducked down and swiped John Bs legs making him fall.

“Wtf Y/N?!” Kie said

“Sorry guys” I said as I ran toward the door. I pushed it opened and ran to my car. Kie and Sarah came running after me yelling my name. I ignored it and started toward JJs house.

About 5 minutes later I pulled into the driveway. Well the kinda driveway, it was more like a clearing with rubble and weeds. There was a car there, jjs dad's car. My stomach dropped at the sight. I took a deep breath

“It’s gonna be fine” I said as a opened my car door and stepped out

I walked up to his front door, my hand was shaking as I went to knock. Why was my hand shaking? It was gonna be fine, right? I knocked, but JJ didn't open the door, his dad did. He looked drunk, he had a cigarette in his mouth, he was dirty and he had an old cut on his face. This was a bad idea, jj may not even be here.

“Uh um hi s-sir” I Stuttered on my words

“Who are ya?” He said look around me

“Um I I’m Y/N, jjs friend, is he here?” I said looking into the house

“Ah you're his little slut girlfriend, ya here to break up with him? Not surprised” he said stepping closer to me

I stepped back, I could defend myself against him if I needed to, I reminded myself, “actually no sir, I’m just his friend, is jj here?”

“Ya he’s here, what do you want with him?”

“Where is he?” I ignored his question

“How about you come with me little lady and I’ll buy you a drink?” He said and grabbed my hand

I ripped my hand out of his and punched him in the face

“You little bitch” he yelled holding his now bleeding cheek, he swung his arm again to punch me. He hit me right in the eye.

Then suddenly he came at me and I dodged him and pushed him past me. He was definitely drunk. I ran inside and closed the door, my hands were shaking even more, I tried to lock it and luckily I was able to. Then I heard a car start in the driveway, the car sounded older. Not mine, but jjs dads. I let out a breath of relief and turned around to look at the house. The coffee table was filled with beer bottles, there was glass on the floor and a broken picture frame. I needed to find jj.

“JJ!!! JJ!!!” I yelled his name, I could hear the crack in my voice when I yelled.

I made my way through the small, dirty house and to his room. The door was locked

“Jj?! Please open the door!” I said as I rocked on the door

I was about to say something again but the door swung open

“What do you want?!” Jj yelled as he slammed the door frame

I jumped, almost tripping over myself. Jjs face was bruised and bloody. He was shirtless, his chest was covered in bruises. I looked up at him, I was confused. I saw his face soften when he saw me, he looked surprised, then he got angry again.

“Y/N?! What the hell are you doing here?!” He said stepping closer to me

I was at a loss of words, I was already shaky but when Jj yelled it set me off.

“I um I-I” I started but was cut off by jj

“Fuck Y/N, did he do this to you?!” Jj yelled

“Jj please stop ye-“

“That son of a bitch! I swear to fucking god” he began walking out of the hallway toward the door

I stood up “JJ STOP!” I yelled grabbing his arm

“Don’t touch me! Why can you fucking listen Y/N?! I told you to stay away! And what did you do?! You didn’t! You didn’t fucking stay away! And now” he paused calming down and catching his breath “now you are hurt, and it’s my fucking fault! I swear I’m going to kill him” he said moving his hand over his lips and looking down

“What did you expect me to do Jj?” I was trying to stay calm “you didn’t show up and that scared me, I came to make sure you were ok, and obviously you aren’t, I can’t sit my and watch you come to school with black eyes and bloody lips”

“Fuck you Y/N! You had one job!”

Fuck being calm “you know what Jj I came because I care and because I am your fucking friend ok?! It’s ok to let people care about you! It’s ok *to* care! You don’t need to push everyone away!” I yelled back at him

“I do care Y/N! That’s why I don’t want you here! I can’t see you get hurt!!!” He yelled grabbing my hand

“Well, I’m completely fine so” I said taking my hand out of his and crossing my arms across my chest

“Your not fine”

“I am!”

“Nope”

“Yes! Yes I am, and why tf is it so important to you that I’m hurt, you get hurt, so does John b, and Kie, and rafe, but he definitely deserves that-“ I was cut off from my blabbing

“Y/N I care because I love you alright?! Calm down” he said

“W-what?”

“I’-I’m” he started moving his head as if he was trying to think of what to say, I looked at him, studying his features, then I decided I was going to kiss him, ya ya I was going to kiss him. And I did, my lips met his in one quick movement. He seemed surprised at first but then his lips moved into mine. It was a passionate, needed kiss, but amazing never the less. His tongue moved, asking permission that was granted.

We broke the kiss both trying to catch our breath

“Wait Y/N-“ je started

“I love you too jj, I have forever” I said smiling

“But what about the rules and stuff, I mean I don’t follow rules like ever but” he was cute when he was confused, I began giggling at his attemp

“What? what is so funny?” He asked

“You are adorable,” I said kissing him again

It’s funny, I never thought that I would be here, kissing jj fucking maybank. We we’re definitely gonna get some crap from the rest of the pogues but it was definitely worth it.

[piratewithvigor]

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Anton Tobias

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Seth Green in this movie? A+)

- First things first: Anton’s had a crush on you since the first grade, which is also where the two of you technically met for the first time.

- You being placed in the same class would become a frequent, on and off again thing in both your lives. Every year or so, you’d end up having a class with Anton Tobias and every year, he’d fall for you harder and harder.

- Regardless of how long you’ve been aware of each other’s existence, Anton is still completely incapable of actually speaking to you. There’s been a few instances of him; accidentally or purposefully, coming into contact with you and just widening his eyes, doing a 180 and booking it away from you after you say hello.

- So yeah, for a while, he’s just adorably obsessed with you in a way that only a boy in love can be.

- There was definitely a period in your life where you considered trying to talk to him yourself, wondering if you could ease his nerves a little and show him that he could actually interact with you.

- But then he got really into the whole stoner thing and you found yourself a bit too intimidated to approach him. Plus, he was never at school anymore for you to talk to him anyways.

- It’s only when the two of you reach your junior year of highschool that anything of actual value happens between you.

- It was during one of the days that Anton actually showed up to school. You’d gotten home from school when you went to pull your things out of your schoolbag. It was then that you finally noticed that you had two copies of your English classes book.

- You vaguely remembered assuming you’d dropped yours when you saw a copy near your bag on the floor, a copy you’d quickly stuffed into your bag “again” before rushing to your next class. You cracked open the covers of both and found that one read ‘Anton Tobias’ in a messy scrawl.

- Considering the fact that you didn’t know where Anton lived; or had even ever spoken to him, you couldn’t exactly return the book right away, so, you were forced to wait until school the next day and hope that he showed up.

- The next day, you spotted him in front of the school and quickly made your way over. He looked at you like a deer in headlights as you explained the situation, not saying anything but taking the book from your hands as his friends watched in secondhand embarrassment and amusement.

- Pnub kicked him in the shin and he finally spoke, assuring you that it was alright and forcing a smile onto his face. You offered to let him copy your homework since you borderline stole his book and he asked if you were sure before thanking you as you handed it to him.

- You said goodbye and walked off as as he stared at you in awe. He handled that paper like a museum artifact the entire day.

- You were already seated in your chair when he walked in and surprised you by sitting right next to you. He handed your paper over and thanked you again as you gave him a smile.

- When class is finally over, he stays behind and gathers up the courage to actually talk to you, complimenting your homework before the conversation shifts into more interesting territory. His boys are very proud to see him walking out of the school with you instead of being a puss.

- The two of you made it to the bus area before you were forced to say goodbye, which you did so begrudgingly before you got on. He couldn’t complain though, he’d finally talked to the girl of his dreams and he was floating on cloud nine.

- The two of you start talking to each other everyday and he couldn’t be happier, he feels stupid for being so afraid to start a conversation with you. It takes about a month of short conversations for him to actually invite you to hang out. 

- You’re once again walking out of school with him and you’re just finishing up saying goodbye when he turns back around and asks if you want to come over to his place, which you obviously agree to. 

- So technically, your first date consists of you going over to his house and pretty much just hanging out and enjoying each others company. You watch television, talk some more, eat some food, go for a walks, things like that. 

- It’s after a few months of the two of you hanging out that you have your first kiss. You were a bit bored and flopped on his bed as he fiddled with something, asking if he actually wanted to do something. 

- He asked what you wanted to do as you hovered above him and you watched as his gaze kept drifting down to your lips. You’d suspected before that Anton had a crush on you; primarily because Pnub and Mickey had outright told you he did, but it was only now that you saw he truth in their words. 

- Before you lost your nerve, you leaned down and pressed your lips to his. He froze for a minute as you pulled away, looking at you in surprise as a million thoughts raced through your mind; thoughts that were banished as he lurched up and kissed you again. 

- Rest assured, that kiss sealed your fate. You’re never getting rid of him after that. 

- Lots of Pda. Anton really doesn’t care about what anybody thinks so if he wants to touch or kiss you; which believe me he does, he’ll just do it without thinking.

- His arm around your shoulders, or draped around the couch behind you.

- Drowsy hugs from behind. He’s usually half asleep when he does this and will usually take in a deep, tired breath and sleepily tell you you smell good.

- He presses kisses all over your face whenever he can; particularly when he’s board. He’ll give you one on your temple, then one on your cheekbone, under your cheekbone, the apple of your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouth-

- Soft, sometimes slow kisses.

- Makeout sessions. What’s better than laying in his bed and kissing you? To him? Pretty much nothing.

- The two of you cuddle wherever you fall. Sometimes you’re on top of him, other times he’s spooning you with his leg thrown over your body; just all types of cuddling.

- He tends to just call you by your given name but if he feels the need, he’ll call you babe or honey as well.

- He thinks everything you do is so fucking cool. He’s constantly amazed by and complimenting you.

- He’s almost embarrassingly fond of and proud of you. He brags about you to people all the time; it’s really quite adorable.

- He can’t remember basic math 90% of the time but you bet you’re ass he remembers the outfit you wore when you first talked to him or everything about that necklace you always wear or the book you always carry around. He’s well versed in the subject of y/n.

- Fast food dates.

- Watching television together.

- Chilling up in his room.

- Listening to music together. Sometimes you just lay on his bed with your heads connected and your hands intertwined and vibe.

- Walking his dog with him. You know ...Anton really isn’t fond of the way Randy looks at you as you’re walking by.

- Going to the skatepark with him and his friends.

- He’s always phoning you and asking you to come over because he wants to see you; usually groaning when you’re busy or trying to convince you to ditch what you’re doing.

- If you’re into weed then expect to be doing a lot of smoking with him.

- Trying to get him to be a little more ambitious. You’re one of the only things that get him out of bed and out into the world.

- Informing him on the latest happenings because god knows he isnt paying attention to any of whats going on around him.

- Subtle butt touches.

- Wearing his pants because he sure as shit doesn’t. If he’s rocking his boxers, you’re rocking the sweats he’s neglected.

- Occasionally cutting class or skipping school with him. You do want to graduate high school so you don’t do it all the time like he does:

- Doing him a few favors; or more so his mother. Picking up milk on your way over after school, bringing some food, returning movie rentals. Things that take like a five minutes if you’re already gonna be passing said places.

- Waking him up in the morning, or more accurately: the afternoon.

- He loves when you fuss over him. Honestly, the more motherly and “traditional” you act with him the better. Get out all those urges. He’ll never mind.

- Your laugh? Music to his ears. His humor is his main appeal; besides the fact that he’s nearly six foot and pretty attractive.

- Talking all serious about stupid shit until you both breakout into laughter.

- Wondering why he’s suddenly acting so strange....

- Going through the whole idle hand ordeal and stopping him by being crushed by a whole ass car.

- Visiting him in the hospital.

- Helping him after he loses his hand.

- You are his last brain cell. You’re like the main reason this boy is still alive.

- Occasionally shutting him up since he doesnt think before he speaks like 90% of the time. Anton ...maybe don’t make fun of police officers ...to their face ...when they already don’t like you.

- Your parents probably don’t like him ...for obvious reasons, so you’ll most likely have to sneak out or lie to them so that you can see him.

- Helping to keep him calm in stressful situations.

- He thinks he’s really bad at comforting you but he’s actually like accidentally really good at it. He has no idea what he’s doing but it’s working!

- Antons pretty oblivious most of the time so he doesn’t tend to get jealous very often. That being said, since he’s been in love with you for so long, he isn’t too keen on losing you so whenever he senses a serious threat to your relationship, he’ll do whatever he can to stop it.

- He’s sort of a coward so he really isn’t going to be the one you can count on when you’re scared. He’ll probably talk up a big game but the minute a tree limb snaps beneath someone’s foot, he’s clinging to you like a child.

- The two of you don’t fight extremely often; you sort of just know how he is so you’re unfazed by most of what he does. But when you do fight, he has trouble staying calm and saying the right thing. He’ll probably call you a bitch without thinking and you’ll have to stop yourself from strangling him.

- Whenever you’re mad at him, he’ll keep periodically calling you to try and get you to talk to him. He never waits long after you leave either; usually it’s at most an hour before he’s ringing your line. He can always seem to wiggle his way back into your good graces no matter what he does and it’s infuriating.

- He tells you he loves you quite a bit. He’s had a while to come to terms with his feelings so he isn’t afraid to tell you the truth.

- He’s not a fan of talking about the future but let’s just say that you’ll probably be the more established and accomplished person in your relationship.

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette: Stone Cold

Ok so i love this prompt but it took forever to get to. And as soon as I did its like suddenly I was swamped with everything. So frustrating. But I finally finished it. And I love it. @vixen-uchiha​

              Marinette was six-years-old when her parents died in a car crash. She had been at school when the vice principle, Mrs. Valmontes, stopped by and pulled her out of class. The little black haired girl had known something was wrong instantly as Valmontes had smiled just a little hard at her and much more gently than what she was known for.

           Still, she had been really surprised to see Office Raincomprix, her classmate Sabrina’s dad, waiting for her in the principle. Marinette always thought he was really nice; always jolly and quick to lend a hand to the teacher at the end of the day if he got to class early to pick up Sabrina. However, he too, seemed rather despondent when Marinette entered the room. His partner, a rookie named Lorna, looked really sad too.

           They took her down to the station where she was led to one of the back offices. Sabrina’s dad waited with her there. And then woman name Susanna LeFlont, who Marinette would later learn was a grief counselor. Then they told her.

           Susanna held her as she cried and begged and called them liars, until she couldn’t cry anymore. And then they gave her a stuffed animal, and said they would try calling her relatives to pick her up.

           They came back an hour later, saying they got ahold of her parents’ emergency contact…

           Marinette’s Uncle Jareth Dupain.

           She had frowned when they said his name because to her he had never been Jareth Dupain. No, he was always her cool Uncle Jagged. So it took her a second to remember that his real name was Jareth Dupain-Stone, her father’s younger half-brother. Marinette even briefly remember her dad mentioning having to change their emergency contact after his mom, Gina, passed away a few ago.

           He was only 20 when Marinette born and he was always a budding Rockstar so he wasn’t around too much. And 6 years later he was the biggest rockstar in the world. Still, that didn’t stop him from rushing to the police station, Penny hot on his trail, and pulled his sweet niece into the biggest hug he could.

           Jagged took his niece to the hotel room to get her settled and had Penny go back to the bakery to get some of her things. He didn’t think it was a smart idea to take her there yet; not when the wounds were still so fresh.

           Still as the twenty-six year old Rockstar stared at the small form cuddled up to Fang, he realized for the first time that he was all Marinette had in the world; the only family she had left. The only family he had left.

           So he knew, despite the lawyers taking days to contact him regarding who Marinette’s guardian would be, that it was him. Jagged was the person Tom had entrusted to protect and watch the most precious thing he had the entire world; his daughter. And he wouldn’t let his brother down.

Tom had always been the best big brother anyone could have. And when Jagged’s own father, Tom’s Stepfather (as tom’s own father had suffered a heartache when Tom was a teen), had walked out, Tom had stepped up. He showed Jagged, who was still called Jareth at the time, how to be a man. He believed in Jagged’s rockstar dream when Jagged didn’t even believe in them himself.

Jagged would do right Tom, by Sabine; he would do what they would do if the situation was reversed and they were given Jagged’s kid to care for.

He would raise Marinette as he own. And though he knew would never come close to being the father that Tom Dupain had been…

Jagged would damn well try to be.

…

…

Jagged Stone, Shattered Roses, Nightmare’s Hail Mary, Unmasked Dragon, True Born Rejects, and Emancipated Mirrors were some of the biggest rock band in the world. Whenever, they went on tour together, they were the epitome of what people thought Rock Stars were. They were loud. They partied all night. Groupies hung around everywhere. To them, it was paradise. When all the bands were invited to go on the Kings of Neverland tour, with Jagged Stone headlining, they expected very much the same as they were used to. Jagged always had the most Rockin tour bus. His parties were legendary. They came to expect it.

However, when Neon Savage (front man of the Shattered Roses), Austin Knight (Leader of Unmasked dragon and lead Guitarist), and Niklaus Bane (Lead vocalist of True Born Rejects) showed up with beers and all other sorts of alcohol the day before their opening concert for the tour, they came across something very unexpected.

Or rather someone.

A little Asian girl with pigtails in her Blue hair, a tiara on her head, in a rainbow tutu paired with a black too large Guns N Roses shirt, her hand on her hips, no shoes, and a rather large crocodile next to her.

“What’s with the ballerina?” Austin asked. He had dyed silver hair done in a stereotypical emo style, grey eyes, and too many piercings. He was slim and tall.

           Niklaus sighed in relief, “Oh good, you see her too!” He had curly blond hair, dark brown eyes, and wore mostly black. He had ripped jeans and a red tie. The tie was as red as the whites of his looked. “Why is your hair blue?”

“Because Uncle said I could,” She answered and pointed a figure at them, “You’re not supposed to be here.”

Savage scoffed, “You got that twisted, kid.” He was a bulk guy, with long dark hair, and a severe expression on his face. His arms were covered in tattoos. He played in a metal band, and it was obvious. “Where’s your mommy?”

“Dead,” The little girl said bluntly. “I live with my Uncle Jagged now. This his tour bus, and you’re not supposed to be here.” She glared at them. “Fang, Stranger Danger!”

           What happened next was a bit of a blur. One minute they were fine, the next they were being chased around Jagged’s tour bus by a rather vicious crocodile while pint-sized twerp laughed.

           Lucky for them, their yells for help were overheard by Penny and Jagged who had been working in back, “What’s going on?” Penny asked as she ran in.

“Mates, what the h. e. double hockey sticks is going on?” Jagged asked right on his assistant’s tail.

           Austin, who had jumped on top one of the shelves, gave Jagged a confused look, “Better question; what the hell did you just say?”

“Ooohhhh! There’s five bucks for the swear jar!” The little girl taunted.

           Jagged glared at rockstar, “Watch it! A Kid’s in the room!”

           Savage glared at his longtime friend, “Who the fuck do you think set Fang on us?!” He cast a dark look at the crocodile. “Stranger danger my ass! I’ve known you sent you hatched, you overgrown cheap pair of boots.”

“That’s ten buck for the swear jar!” The girl said.

“Ten bucks?” Austin frowned. “Kinda of steep for just two swear words.”

“I swear to God-” Savage growled but was cut off.

“Chill, mate,” Jagged said. “This is my niece Marinette.” He gave her a loving smile. She beamed up at him brightly. He had been taking care of her for a year now. “I told ya about her.”

“You didn’t say she was Satan!” Austin whined. Fang had bitten him, the slowest of the three, quite a lot, and he had a giant hole in his jacket.

“I’m not Satan,” Marinette huffed. “I’m a ballerina, princess, Rockstar on my way to a tea party with Duchess Rosy Sparkles, of the Unicorn Fairies. And guess what, you’re not invited!”

“Oh that’s just mean,” Niklaus complained.

“She sicked a mini dinosaur on us,” Savaged hissed.

“Yeah, well, now she hurt my feelings.”

           Jagged sighed. The guys were some of his closest friends, and by the look up the “entertainment” they brought, they were ready to raze it up like always. But things had changed. Jagged couldn’t be that guy anymore. “Marinette’s staying with me from now on,” He reminded them. “No parties on the tour. She has a bedtime. And doesn’t need to see “us” at our finest, no matter how Rockin we are.” Jagged shrugged. “Spread the world, my bus is off limits.”

The rock stars grumbled a bit but didn’t leave. They could hang with Jagged without presence of booze, weed, loud music, and groupies. It would be a little weird but they’d managed. Jagged was their friend; they’d known him before any of them became famous and stayed close well after. They hadn’t been there for him as much as they wanted to after Tom died; too many commitments, too many required appearances in different countries that had taken them away. But they were there now. And if being there for one of their best friends meant regularly chilling with a six-year-old, then they’d deal.

Savage grunted, “Austin, get rid of the booze.”

“By ‘get rid of’, I assume you meant put back in my tour bus,” The silver haired guitarist corrected.

           Niklaus raised his hand like he was a student in class, “I get the whole no alcohol thing; that stuff will kill ya. But what your feelings on pot?”

           Jagged just sighed. It was going to be a long summer.

           The three musician, and even the other Rockers on tour, slowly but surely got used to the seemingly near constant presence of a six-year-old around Jagged or running around backstage. And the swear jar was a serious thing. It didn’t count when they were singing on stage but off it and anywhere near Marinette and they found themselves forking over five dollars for ever swear word. It added up a lot. And quickly.

           Jagged’s tour bus, instead of being the Party palace it used to be, now was the chill zone. It was also the cleanest of all the tour buses. No empty beer bottles everywhere. No one random passed out anywhere. No having to watch out for throw up. No rabid fans, as Jagged had increased his security to Tony Stark worthy levels.

           All they had to do was mind their manners and remember that Marinette was very impressionable at her age.

“OH screw you!!!!!!” Savage roared as he jumped up and frantically mashed buttons on his controller. “I’m not losing!”

           They had been babysitting Marinette all day while Jagged did an interview Buzzfeed.

           Austin snickered, “Says you.” His character raced past Savage’s. Only for something to hit him and send poor little Yoshi spinning out of control. “Did you- did you just blue shell me, bitch?” He hissed at Niklaus.

“Nooo!” Niklaus said sarcastically. “Hey!!! Not nice, brat!” He told Marinette after a banana caused him to slip off the ice.

           Marinette smiled easily, but there was a determined look in her eyes. Her hair was jelled into a faux-hawk courtesy of Ashley Crimson, from lead singer for Emancipated Mirrors, an all-girl punk rock band.

“Die, scumbag!” Ashley roared as her racer zoomed by. She was a vivacious redhead. Her and her bandmates got used to being some of the only girls around that weren’t either working for one of the rock stars or were scantily clad fangirls who do “anything” to get backstage.

“You’re going down, twerp!” Savage told Marinette.

“Bite me!” She snapped back just as Jagged and Penny walked into the tour bus.

           Jagged crossed his arms, “What did you morons do to my sweet little niece?”

“Nothing!” Niklaus, Ashley, Savage, and Austin chimed together.

“Savage taught me to throw a punch, and or kill a man.” Marinette smiled happily. “I helped Austin set up a glitter bomb in Nightmare’s Hail Mary tour bus. Niklaus and I are banned from Chuckie Cheese. Ashley and I spray painted her ex boyfriend’s car. Cleo and I got arrested. We disturbed the peace!!” Cleo was a pink haired girl who played drummer from Nightmare’s Hail Mary. She had to rush off for her own interview. “Oh and we’ve only been Playing Mario kart for an hour but they each owe like a hundred bucks to the swear jar.”

           There was silence as the words were processed.

“And not one of us taught her how to keep a freaking secret?” Ashley face palmed.

           Jagged just sighed.

…

…

           For the next few years that was Marinette’s life. Austin, Niklaus, Savage and Ashley became pseudo Uncles and Aunt to Marinette.

She spent most of her childhood on tour with her Uncle; going from to place, concert after concert. Marinette was homeschooled and didn’t mind it. Jagged went on tour with a bunch of different people over the years and she got to meet all sorts musicians; Clara Nightingale, Ed Sheeran, Adam Levine, Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco, Taylor Swift. Her favorite were the award shows though. Through them, she got to meet all her favorite actors. And was inspired to start designing on her own clothes after seeing so many fabulous looks. She got to model and do some acting. In her free time, she ran a very popular fashion blog/youtube channel.

The press had always loved her. To them, she was Marinette Stone (Jagged didn’t want her real name released to the media). She was always on the best dressed list, frequently seen with various celebrities, and could be found on the cover of various magazine.

However, when Marinette was eleven, she begged her Uncle to let her go to school with other kids. She was getting older and she wanted to have some type of normal childhood. It took him a year to agree. Her uncle Jagged had become quite protective over the years.

So Marinette went back to Paris. She cut her hair, used her given name of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Her Uncle bought a grand penthouse not too far away from her new school, and whenever he was gone her bodyguard, a sweet woman named Harlow who was former CIA, was in charge of her. She started at her new school with a smile on her face.

Not long after, she became the hero Ladybug.

Everything was great. She had friends, a normal social life, went to school with other kids her age. She wasn’t constantly being followed around by paparazzi. She still ran her fashion blog and had frequently updates. It was perfect.

It took two years for it to go bust.

The reason’s name was Lila Rossi.

And she was the biggest liar Marinette had ever met. And Marinette had grown up in the entertainment industry.

Lila made wild claims that the other kids just ate up. A simple google search could refute all of them. The ones Marinette could stand was always about Jagged. Like her Uncle, or an airline, would be reckless enough to let a kid race on to an airport to save a cat; not that Jagged had ever own one. Fang was territorial.

Lila made her out to be a bully, and slowly Marinette lost all her friends. Her only one left was Adrien, her partner Chat Noir. The blond and Marinette had modeled together a few times and he had recognized Marinette despite her new looked but he kept it a secret. Because of their history, Marinette developed a crush on the other and Adrien was quick to lose his crush on Ladybug once he found out it was his dear friend behind the mask.

When Marinette was exiled to the back, Adrien was quick to join her (much to Lila’s fury) and nothing could change his mind. Mostly because he was sick of Lila always touching him despite his vocal protests, and Bustier not doing anything about it.

Soon Marinette things started being messed up or destroyed; her homework, her sketchbooks and pencils, her jacket. She was tripped and called rude names. Her cellphone, (Well one of her phones. She had two; one she used as Marinette Stone. One for Marinette Dupain-Cheng; a number only her classmates had.) was filled with mean texts.

Bustier caved to demands and had her excluded from class trips and events due to being a negative influence; again Adrien decided not to go either, and Lila was Akumatized once he said this. Marinette hadn’t been surprised. Bustier always ignored the bullying and harassment clearly happening in front of her. Still, Marinette decided to start recording her classes a hidden camera on her desk, on the corner of the celling and even on top of the whiteboard behind Bustier. It was just in case anything took a serious turn.

Still losing all her friends because of a few promises and dreams of glitz and glamour had been a wakeup call. Her Uncle had warned her. Her Aunt Penny, who Jagged had married with Marinette was ten, had warned her. So did Savage, Ashley, Cleo, Austin, Clara, and Niklaus. They told Marinette to watch out for fake friends and gold diggers, coattail clingers and desperate wannabes; people who would sell out every secret she had to the paparazzi behind her back just for five minutes in the spot light. So called friends who would do anything to get ahead, to get famous.

And it was clear that’s who most of her ex-friends were. Even Lila learned the hard way. When she told Alya about her mom meeting with some important celebrity about their Go Green initiative, this wasn’t a lie as it would turn out. However, the glasses-wearing girl posted it online, despite Lila legitimately asking her to keep it a secret. Lila got in big trouble with her mom apparently.

The teacher, Bustier, was awful but she always had been. Marinette ignored it in the past because at least she had her friends. But if that witch told Marinette to be a better example one more time, it was over.

           Everything came to a head after Marinette got expelled, granted she was brought back after evidence that it was impossible for her to have cheated surfaced, and the bluenette decided enough was enough. She finally gave in and told her Uncle everything.

           Jagged was pissed. He cursed up a storm; enough to fill the swear jar ten times over and buy Marinette a car.

           It took a while to get him to calm down. And to convince him that Marinette could handle it. She had a plan.

           Still, she remembered that Uncle was a wild card.

           Friday, during lunch, Marinette was eating in the cafeteria, when suddenly the lunchroom doors burst open, “Marinette,” Jagged called as he entered, trailed by a happy Penny and bodyguards “Where’s my favorite little fashion designer?”

           Marinette just sighed.

Adrien smirked at her; looking way too amused. The jerk must’ve known. She had thought it was strange that he wanted to eat in the cafeteria. The two rarely ate on the school grounds, opting and preferring to go to local restaurants rather than deal with terrible food and pesky classmates. Still Marinette didn’t mind as long as they away from her classmates. And they did.

Kagami, Aurore, and Claude gave her perplexed looks.

           The students in the cafeteria went wild. Girls and guys screamed, and tried to get pictures. Jagged ignored them and went straight to Marinette’s table, walking passed where Bustier’s student at lunch. Alya shook Lila’s shoulder and pointed at Jagged, and loudly asked if Lila could get her an interview. Lila looked horrified.

Jagged beamed when he reached Marinette, “There you are, you’ve been ignoring my texts,” He accused. Which to be fair, Marinette had been. Her Uncle had been coming up with way too many revenge plots to be healthy. “I decided I need a new look for the VMAs; something rockin, something tasteful, something to show remind the world the amazingness that the Rock Gods have blessed them with.”

“I’m at school,” Marinette told him.

           He smirked, “Then Learn to answer a text,” The Rock star shrugged. “But fine; we can talk later. How about at my concert, yeah. You and your friends” he motioned to the kids at Marinette’s table, “Can have backstage passes. We’ll talk then. But I really want you to wow me. Maybe get a matching hat for Fang too.”

“Fang?” Adrien asked innocently. Still Marinette could practically hear see the script he was reading off of.  “Is that your cat?”

           Jagged gasped as if insulted, “Cat? Do you think I’d ever own anything as ordinary as a cat? Me? Jagged Stone?! I should be insulted, mate. I hate cats, always have. Never owned one, never will. Fang’s a crocodile. Marinette’s knows. Fang loves her.”

“That is strange,” Kagami shot Marinette a smirk which caused Marinette to nearly hiss at the betrayal. Kagami knew too?! “Lila said you did.”

“Lila?” Jagged asked. “Who’s Lila? I don’t know a Lila.”

“Lila Rossi?” Aurore offered. “The Ladyblog practically swears in an interview that Lila Rossi saved your cat from being hit by a plane or something.”

           Jagged scoffed, “What a loud of bull! Any journalist that believes that is not worth the pen they write with.” Gasps were heard. “But I heard that rumor. Didn’t know where it was from. Thanks for letting me know who I should sue. This Ladyblog and Lila Rossi will be hearing from my lawyers.”

           It was a photo finish as to who fainted first; Alya or Lila.

           Lila went home right after that. This caused the reactions of the class to be split. Half the class still defended Lila; refusing to believe their golden ticket was lying. The other half was ready to burn her at the stake; they had carried her books, done her homework, wrote her notes, nearly everything for her.

           Marinette just sat back and watched with amused eyes. If they thought this was bad, they hadn’t seen anything yet.

           That weekend Marinette Stone released a video on her blog about bullying. She had been mentioning her own trouble with bullying for months and people had asked her for more information.

           The title of the video was:

           Bullying Stone: The Expose

           In it Marinette revealed that at her school she went by Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her real name, and had a new look. She told about how much she liked school at first. And they what changed; that it all started when a new girl arrived and started telling lies about celebrities about Marinette. She told the story of how she was expelled; and just how many procedures were broken when it happened.

           Marinette used the recordings she had of class, and even showed up the horrible texts she got.

“As you can see the teacher does nothing,” Marinette frowned. “It’s all happening right in front of her and she does nothing. In the next video, you’ll see someone being sexually harassed, in front of the teacher and she doing nothing about it. And then what victim blaming looks like. Again, as a reminder, all these videos and pictures are unedited.” She had offered to blur Adrien’s face but he declined, and even appeared in the video too and talked about his own experience.

           At the end of the video, Marinette looked straight at the camera, “Anyone can be bullied; famous or otherwise. If you’re being bullied; speak up. Tell your parents, your Aunts, your Uncles, your siblings, your cousins, teachers who you know will actually do something about it. I waited too long to tell someone. I regret that. They thought what they were doing was hurting me.  They thought I’d be miserable without them. They thought I’d cry and break and come crawling back to them. They thought wrong. You can bully Stone but it takes a hell of a lot more than that to break it.”

           The video went viral in an hour. And people were angry. The people who knew Marinette and loved her were beyond furious. Jagged, even more so, as he hadn’t seen the videos before, read the texts.

           Marinette Stone’s phone blew up with texts and calls. She was tweeted and retweeted thousands of times. And she got far too many, ‘You want me to kick their asses for you. I can kick their asses for you,” texts. But she had known she’d get them.

           The Ladyblog was ripped for lies by celebrities who been lied about on site and fans.

           Gabriel Agreste, Adrien told her, was pissed about what had been happening to Adrien, in front of a teacher no less. Lila Rossi fired. And if Lila ever had dreams about working in the fashion industry, they were over.

           Savage, after berating her for not kicking Lila’s ass, told her he and the gang (Austin, Cleo, Ashley, and And Niklaus) was coming over for some Mario Kart and artery clogging fast food.

           When the call disconnect, Marinette got a text from him.

Why did you sic Fang on them?

And that’s a five for the swear jar!

           Marinette couldn’t stop laughing.    

[imaginesbymk]

“Call in Sick Tomorrow.”

Reservoir Dogs One Shot

Summary: During his final moments, Freddy recalls the events from the robbery and the night before, where you find out who he really is, and because of your job as the retail jeweler at the same store the criminals plan the heist at, you showed up at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Pairing: Mr. Orange/Freddy Newandyke x Reader

Tags: swearing, angst + violence, guns/shooting, robbery + blood

Non Requested

Word Count: 2,289

Author’s Note: not me simping for a young tim roth lmfaksmwksksksk ugh</3 hope y’all like it - leave a like/reblog + feedback!!!

THE cop who was covered in his own pool of blood from his gunshot wound, was now practically sticking to the dusty warehouse ramp. He laid there for a good fifteen minutes, maybe more or less, who was there to count? His company wasn’t making things better, either. “Listen to me, Marvin... listen to me, Marvin Nash, I’m a cop.”

“Yeah, I know.” The other bloodied cop, Marvin Nash, was tied up and had his ear cut off by Mr. Blonde, all he could do was bicker and moan in pain and rage. 

“You do?” The first cop asks.

“Yeah, your name’s Freddy something.”

“Newandyke,” he said. “Freddy Newandyke.”

“Frankie Ferchetti introduced us about five months ago.”

Freddy shakes his head. His wound definitely didn’t cause him memory loss. He was just too clueless to acknowledge colleagues, that was something he was aware of and he needed to work on it. “Shit, I don't remember that at all.”

“I do.” Marvin Nash coughs a bit of blood. “Freddy. How do I look?”

Freddy winces out a chuckle. “What? I don't know what to tell you, Marvin.” How do you look? If I told you, I’d be lucky you’re tied up.

“That fuck. That sick fuck! That fuckin' bastard!” 

“Marvin, I need you to hold on. There's cops waiting to move a block away.”

“What the fuck are they waiting for? This fuckin' guy, he slashes my face… and cuts my fuckin' ear off! I'm fuckin' deformed!” Marvin cries out.

Freddy clenches his jaw. How the fuck do you think I feel over here, asshole? “FUCK YOU! Fuck you, my love of my fucking life is gone! I’m fuckin’ dyin’ here! Y/N is gone and I’m fuckin’ dyin’!”

Marvin Nash, a bloodied cop who was now “fucking deformed”, really had no idea how bad the fellow cop’s current state was. Both of them were in pain, but one of them was gonna die first.

Freddy calms down a bit to explain the upcoming events he hopes to happen anytime soon. He was bleeding pretty bad, and it hurt like hell. “They're not to make a move 'til Joe Cabot shows up. I was sent in to get him. Alright? You heard 'em. They said he's on his way.” Marvin lets out a soft breath. Relief was touching a bit of his soul, now all is left is to wait it out, and listen to the sounds of rattling bullets and yells from cops out of one ear. 

“Don't pussy out on me now, Marvin,” Freddy says. “We're just gonna sit here and bleed… 'til Joe Cabot sticks his fuckin' head through that door.”

Marvin whimpers, then takes a long pause. “Freddy?”

Freddy looks up at Marvin Nash once more, lying on his arm for support, his body feeling like a throbbing stubbed toe. “Freddy?” Marvin talks about the giant elephant in the room. “What even fucking happened?”

THE last thing Freddy needed was to end up falling for you while he’s undercover. While he’s good at hiding his true identity from the recruits, he was also good at hiding it from you, but it wasn’t what he wanted in the first place. 

Freddy would never lie to you, but you don’t know that your boyfriend is actually a cop and not a cool bad boy that took care of weed for customers. It pained Freddy to lie to you about who he was. He never even told you that his name was Freddy, only to refer to him as his alias, Mr. Orange, but you paid no mind to it. You loved the mysterious thrill he had, even if that meant calling him a color most commonly known in a fruit.

To this day, he still wonders why you would want to date someone with such a dangerous persona. You made a living working at the same store the recruits were planning the heist at -  Karina’s Wholesale Diamonds, and you were allowed to wear the jewelry that was sold and refined there. You never came to think Mr. Orange was ever gonna steal from you, holding you at gunpoint? Rob your store while his face is covered then he kisses you goodnight hours after?

And so, Freddy’s confession and his first and last fight with you happened the night before the heist. A stressful twelve hours, and it all started with you throwing his police badge on the coffee table, right on top of his Marvel catalog. 

“You’ve been staring at that thing for a whole minute now,” you said, standing stiff as a statue, towering over him on the couch. 

Mr. Orange scrunches his nose. “It was from a cop back in Torrance. The fucker most likely lost his job for carelessly leaving it on a bench.”

“You’ve visited Torrance?”

He nodded. “Y/N, I kept that badge in one of my stashes. You and I agreed to not go through each other’s shit like that - y’know, outta respect?”

“I know that, but you asked me to get your TV guide from one of the drawers. You said you keep it next to your stash, I may not have found pot but I definitely found that.” You nod at the badge. 

Orange shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you, babes, but that ain’t mine. Also I ran outta weed, that’s why I haven’t been making any sales lately.”

“You must suck at reeling customers in,” you took out your other hand hidden behind your back, now throwing four poorly folded sheets of paper stapled together right next to the badge. “Otherwise why the hell would you have this; an annotated script about you delivering weed to people, the same words you told me about how you walked into the men’s room with a big bag of weed in front of a couple of  cops and a dog?”

Orange was silent. You knew he was lying. Silence was as painful as spewing out another lie. Not once has there ever been a close call, but now he was trapped with no words to come out his mouth. Even if he did have something to say, each lie he told you felt like he was throwing daggers at your heart. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Orange, is there something you’re not telling me?” Orange merely frowned and got up from the couch, eyeing you up and down. He looked tired from whatever he did the whole day and resting on the couch while watching a movie on the TV was well needed. That, but he was tired of sleeping next to you while a police badge was taunting him in one of the drawers.

“I don’t sell weed, y/n. And the police badge wasn’t from Torrance.”

“So all of that... you smuggling weed in a bowling bag?” you scoff, feeling your blood boil. “You just made that up?”

“Y/n- baby” he starts.

“What the hell? Why would you make that up?” you ask.

“It’s what I had to do,” Orange says. 

You scoff. “Right. That was your way of making friends or to get free drinks, or even getting me to sleep with you?”

“It’s not like that, it was never like that.”

“This is so fucked up!” Hearing you say that made Freddy’s heart fall into a thousand pieces. “Tell me the truth, Orange, if that’s even your fucking name. Who gives birth, looks at their child and goes, ‘Your name is Orange’? As if your kid won’t ever get bullied from that.”

“That’s because that isn’t my fucking name. It’s an alias.”

You shook your head. “Okay, then. Who the fuck are you?”

He clenched his eyes shut, and opened them, wishing you disappeared out of his sight. “Look at my badge.”

You slowly hunched over the table, picking up the badge. You raised a brow at him.

“I want you to hold it while I tell you. My real name is Freddy Newandyke. I’m working undercover for a diamond heist formed by Joe Cabot... the group of criminals he hired are gonna rob your store, stuff a briefcase full of diamonds worth a college tuition, and they’re gonna break it apart, pawn it, whatever fulfills their need.”

“You’re a cop,” you say, confirming what he said was true. Otherwise, that could have been another lie.

He nodded. “I work for the LAPD.”

“What else?”

A pause, then he traces his finger on your hand before curling it with his. “I love you.” His face softens. “My name’s Freddy Newandyke. I’m a cop. The gang I’m undercover for is gonna rob your store tomorrow, and I love you.”

You slowly nodded, looking down at the badge in your other hand. There were no signs of a lie in his tone of voice. His name seems legit, and of course, you loved him, too. “Why didn’t you tell me... Freddy?”

“Because you go after guys that would do the things I told in my story, fellas who you fantasize of having a fucking Bonnie and Clyde ride or die bullshit with, and not me - a cop who geeks out over Marvel.”

“You’re saying my work is being targeted for a heist?” you said. “And you’re part of it?”

Freddy nodded. “You think I’m ever gonna rob you, lie to your face like that? Then walk out of your life, take off just like that - and never see you again?”

“You’ve been lying to me.”

“I’m sorry for lying to you, and whether I told you about who I was or not, I don’t want you involved. Crime gets you in trouble, being undercover puts you in danger,” Freddy kisses your forehead. “You can get caught stealing and smuggling drugs, you can get caught slipping out of character if you’re not careful. You can’t win.”

You tried walking around the couch to disperse into the kitchen, but Freddy stopped in front of you. “I wasn’t born yesterday, asshole. I know what an undercover cop is, if your cover gets blown, you’re fucked.” You crossed your arms. “So what else is gonna happen?”

“We planned this; cops are gonna show up on time, as long as a gun doesn’t go off, we’ll be okay, and the men will be in cuffs as well as Joe Cabot. But listen to me, I don’t want you to show up to work tomorrow, I don’t want you there, I don’t want to have a man in a suit point a gun at your face, and I definitely don’t want you to be a hero,” Freddy says, cupping both your cheeks. “That’s my job.”

“I’m freakin’ pissed at you, but I’m not gonna stay home.” You took his hands off your face.

“I’d rather let myself get caught by a bunch of criminals than have your life threatened by criminals.”

“You’re willing to do that?”

“Anything for you.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Getting hurt is part of the job. Y/n, you can’t be a hero. Not like that.”

“Freddy-”

“Y/n, please.” Freddy begs, his face tightening. “If you can’t forgive me; if you can’t trust me anymore, then you can hate me all you want. But for fuck’s sake, at least call in sick tomorrow.”

Yet, you were so stubborn, that was something you needed to work on. Freddy knew it, too. You didn’t listen. The day came, and you showed up, anyway, not wanting to live knowing the guy you loved no matter who he claimed he was. He was in charge of standing at the door, not allowing anyone access inside or out. But upon seeing you behind the counter through the glass window, you saw Freddy’s face drop. “No…”

The deafening sound of the alarm goes off by one of the retailers, forcing Mr. Blonde to shoot everyone he saw, including you.

Freddy cried out this time, “No!” 

People inside- the employees and customers, all screamed together. Freddy slammed his hands against the display windows, watching you as you fall back onto the floor, bleeding out from your shoulder. Mr. Blonde nearly shot everyone in the room, even almost hitting Mr. White in the process. He spotted your foot sticking out, and you attempted to crawl away, but he pointed his gun at you again. 

Just as planned, the police break in, prompting him to run away. You collapsed in your pool of blood, realizing how this was straight out of a crime movie scene, and the pain of your wound was inexplicable. How could you feel it with every inch in your body and still manage to move ever so slightly?

You looked back, realizing you were all alone, the only one left alive. Freddy didn’t do what a hero would have done, and escaped with the men, holding back his tears with his dear life behind the dark shades of his sunglasses, fighting to stay in character.

He had to assume the more logical conclusion; you were treated at the hospital, or you bleed to death back at that jewelry wholesale, and you died hating him.

Whether you knew him as a criminal or an undercover cop, you were going to show up, anyway, because you want to protect him, like any kind of Bonnie and Clyde you’d expect from movies. Except Bonnie and Clyde were both shot to death. In this world, Clyde escapes - Bonnie was left to bleed out.

FREDDY stared up at Marvin Nash. Does Freddy regret accepting the undercover mission? A brave young man like him took such a dangerous job, but he knew he was better off without it. The last thing he said to you swarmed his mind like bees; “Call in sick tomorrow.”

THE END

_

taglist: @locke-writes​

[ayellowcurtain]

The what if Eliott was at that first party fic

-

Eliott doesn't really know anyone at this party. It was really courageous of him to show up at a party he wasn't even invited to. But the blonde and excited girl was talking to most people on the schoolyard about it, so desperate to get everyone involved that he thought she wouldn't mind if the only guy she didn't risk talking to came to the party too.

If he's not being too critical of himself, he thought that her sudden change of direction when their eyes met that morning was basically because she was too shy to go talk to a stranger, the new guy that changed school at the very last minute. It really didn't feel like she didn't want him to come.

Anything is better than staying at home, watching a movie he hates just to not start another fight with Lucille or his parents for being so rude that his girlfriend needed to make a scene while leaving their place one more time.

He texts her that he's feeling a little down and puts his phone on airplane mode so she won't play the annoying doctor. Eliott can't remember the last time he actually drank and he wants to do it without worrying for one single night. Thinking back, he quickly remembers when was the last time. He lifts his eyebrows and his beer when he finds a pair of eyes he knows very well. She won't tell anyone that she saw him here and he doesn't have who to tell he saw her either.

Eliott drinks half of his beer to that, not finding it as refreshing as he used to when he drank almost every weekend, from Friday night to Saturday afternoon. Idriss was fun. Sofiane was a perfect match to Imane's worrying eyes, still watching him, always having his back.

The house is too small for the amount of people inside and Eliott feels a little anxious, searching and finding a corner where he can relax for a little bit, enjoying the fact that he's a stranger, which makes him almost invisible to everyone. Not a single person wants to start conversation with a complete stranger and Eliott is so thankful for that. He wanted a night out of the house, with loud music but alone.

From where he’s standing he can see most of the guests dancing and having fun but he can also hear one loud and clear conversation. He looks carefully over his shoulder to find a small group of boys inside the kitchen, acting like they're being such rebels by smoking weed, looking at everyone else with superior eyes.

Eliott looks forward, trying to find the blonde girl the boys are talking about. While moving his head from the boys back to the dance floor, he sees a blue shadow going the opposite direction.

“What did I miss?” He hears the new voice but doesn't look back right away to not be noticed.

“Arthur is not feeling like sharing who's his pick is and Baz thinks he can get the blonde, tiny girl dancing there…”

Eliott bends his head back like he needs to tilt it that way to drink the rest of his beer sitting at the bottom of his bottle. He drinks nothing for the most part but he can't stop staring.

The new boy is perfect.

Eliott can't even find the right words to describe him even to his own consciousness. He's beautiful, wearing clothes that fit him, thick eyebrows that match his soft, dark brown hair perfectly kept back like even gravity doesn't feel like touching him to not ruin how he looks good so effortlessly.

Eliott has this thing where he needs to touch what amazes him and he wants to touch this boy so bad. To feel if his skin is soft or there's some hint of a beard that Eliott can't see from here. He needs to feel if his hair is as soft as it looks, if there some product making it a little less interesting, changing the texture. He wants to touch is eyebrows with his thumb, to see which color his eyes are.

All the boys look forward and from this new angle Eliott can almost see his eyes properly but the party lights keep changing and it's still not clear enough. The boy smiles sadly and Eliott doesn't understand how his friends don't see it, laughing at whatever joke the boy told them.

“Fine, I’ll take it.”

He's brought back from his sturpor when someone bumps into him, rushing to the kitchen, breaking the boys’ circle in their desperate search for the sink.

The blonde girl from the dance floor bends over and pukes nonstop. Her friend with the dark hair whines and her voice is so high it annoys Eliott even from a distance. But she looks nice with that cliche look you can find in any actress from the sixties. Even her dress is a little vintage: like a black tube with a white and rounded collar and the hair in a high ponytail.

There's a step between where he is and the kitchen, making it the perfect height for him to notice the slap the boy in the blue receives from his friend, standing almost over his boy to not stand in the way of the girls, still very much dominating the sink.

Eliott tries to pay attention to the conversation but his brain can't seem to let go of the music completely. So it's like trying to watch a scene with no sound.

But it's clear that they're interested in the girls. The other two boys are a little further to give their friends and the girls some room.

“Chloé.” He hears the boy in blue say the girl’s name, shaking her hand while also using it as an excuse to pull her a little closer, standing right in front of him.

Eliott looks away when he sees the boys moving, wanting to give their friend and the girl some privacy. Eliott wishes they would have stayed because he can’t just go up there and interrupt their flirting game because he’s so desperately interested in that boy.

He can’t hear anymore because they’re whispering to each other, about to kiss. It feels painful to watch so Eliott tries to focus on what’s in front of him, the bodies dancing close to each other to fit as many people as possible. From the corner of his eyes he can’t help but see them still standing close and he walks away after hearing the name he wanted to know.

Lucas.

Everywhere he looks, it feels like he’s in a party full of acquaintances this time. He finds two of Lucas’ friends standing close to where the drinks are, keeping a distance but clearly watching everything to make fun of their friend later. He runs into the other one weirdly dancing with the blonde girl, she seems to be doing a lot better now.

The excited girl from the schoolyard is walking around like a lost puppy, clearly trying to make everyone have as much fun as possible so they can all tell the whole school on Monday.

“Long time no see.” Eliott turns around quickly to find Imane behind him, smiling but not really happy to see him there, drinking, hiding from everyone he knows.

“Hi, Imane!”

She doesn’t fall for his overly excited voice, a little too loud to make it extra. But she does laugh after a second of silent scolding.

“Hi, Eliott…”

“She doesn’t have to know every step I take.” He responds to her thoughts:

Does Lucille, your annoying girlfriend that I dislike, know that you are here without her?

Imane nods her head, not believing a single word he says but always taking his side, no matter against who.

He doesn’t ask about Idriss for once. It feels like someone came, held every distorted memory he had of them and turned them into meaningless dust. Eliott is sure he knows the name of who did that to his past feelings.

Eliott looks around to see if he can find him, and like his eyes are already trained to find the boy, he finds Lucas across the room, against a wall.

They act like they’re somewhere private but anyone that looks can see his unbuttoned shirt, her eager lips moving too fast down his neck, too fast to make it enjoyable.

Lucas is not paying much attention though. And that rings every alarm inside Eliott`s brain, forgetting about his conversation with Imane. The boy seems to be trying to make his brain work in a way to make her nervous lips stop kissing his neck without telling her it’s not you, it’s me. It would cause too much confusion and the girl would gossip about it to her friends, to the whole school probably. And Lucas can’t have a girl saying to everyone he didn’t feel like making out with her.

Eliott sees the excited girl from this morning run back from to the kitchen to the front door, followed by a dark hair girl, hiding behind her while she opens the door to the police.

He can’t hear what they’re saying but from his past experiences, it’s obvious that the party is over. Eliott looks at Lucas, unable to talk to him like he thought about but he carefully puts the girl away from him and starts waking fast to Eliott’s direction without seeing him.

Just with the desperation in Lucas’ eyes that Eliott remembers about the conversation he overheard before. Lucas has a bag of weed in his pocket. And by the way he’s trying to find a escape route, he doesn’t trust himself to lie to the police coming inside now, happy to see all these underage and drinking teenagers.

Eliott steps aside and makes Lucas crash into him.

“Give me the weed.”

Lucas looks at him, blinking a few times, constantly searching if the police are getting closer, “What?!”

“Give it to me and I’ll give it back on Monday, at school.”

They’re running out of time, the music stops suddenly and you can only hear whispers, so many different conversations going on that it still feels too loud.

“Lucas…” Eliott looks over Lucas, nobody that matters is looking at them so he offers his open hand. Lucas is looking at him like he’s from another planet and any other day, Eliott would use this energy to start a normal conversation, to introduce himself and explain how he knows the boy’s name.

He finally feels a hand slapping against his, a small plastic bag in between them. He quickly closes his hand and puts the package inside his pants and Lucas turns back around by his side, a second later the policeman comes to get their informations. Eliott talks for both of them, as confident as he can so the police won’t ask Lucas directly.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

One quick question, why do you hate Before the Storm? I actually really liked it. It could be because I'm a hopeless romantic, but I just want to see your opinions on it

Oh boy, where to even begin...? I cannot stand bts... it actually hurts my insides to think about how much I hate this game haha.

[note: yeah hi uhhh... this is long because of course it is, it's coming from me but listen, my feelings for this game are not nice and I have a lot to say so.... my bad]

One of the bigger reasons, though not the biggest, is Chloe... I'm not exactly a big fan of Chloe. At all. Not in the first game, nope. I understand that so many people love her and they have their reasons for that, that's fine, she's just a character who doesn't appeal to me. If anything, she pisses me off because I can see the foundation for such a compelling character, but it all gets thrown away for the sake of bullshit.

So then they plop bts in front of us with Chloe as the playable protagonist in a prequel story about her and Rachel Amber. This is an opportunity to expand on her character, to tie into the first season and make me feel more positive feelings about her character, to do what the first game failed to do..... and to be fair, they DO have a few of them sprinkled in... but then they're overshadowed by the garbage.

It's just... the ideas are there, and they're ideas that I like but they're executed so poorly. I want to like Chloe Price, I can see that there's something good here.

Like okay.... lemme do a thing:

Chloe Price. She's going through some serious shit after her dad dies. He died unexpectedly in a car accident, something Chloe had zero control over, it's not fair, and even though it's not like the universe singled her out and said "fuck you," it feels that way to her.

On top of that, her best friend who she adores? She moves away. Not something that's in either of their control, they're kids at this point. However, Max stops contacting her and that hurts Chloe. Chloe tries to stay in contact, but eventually Max stops responding.

Then you have her mother, who's also grieving after losing her husband and dealing with her daughter pushing her away and on the wrong path. She meets a man and falls for him after realizing she still has a long life ahead of her and that's too long to be miserable over her husband's death, William wouldn't want that, and David is a source of comfort for her... something she's not getting from her daughter. The problem is that David and Chloe don't get along in the slightest... which leads to Chloe feeling like her mom is trying to replace her father by moving on, not understanding why Joyce's timeline of grief isn't the same as hers, y'know?

Oh, and can't forget that Chloe has fallen onto a not so great path of drugs, booze, bad grades, lying, staying out late without letting her mom know where she is, pickin' fights, making friends with drug dealers, stealing money and other items, all that. She's bitter, angry, unable to understand most of her own complex emotions and that only makes her even more upset. She's unable to express them in a healthy way, she doesn't ask for help, and denies it whenever offered.

So... Chloe's starts out as an extremely entitled, rude, obnoxious character. She insults the bouncer in the cringiest way possible because these adult men writing her don't know how teen girls talk, she steals money and a t-shirt from a dude who works for the band because $20? how dare? even though bands don't make a lot of money and a lot of profit comes from their merch but who cares about supporting artists you like, right? Chloe sure doesn't. She probably buys some weed from Frank because yeah, she's got a dependence on the stuff now. She gets into a fight with a couple of dudes after spilling beer on them.... but what's this?

Oh look, it's Rachel Amber. Y'know, the pretty, popular, talented, smart, perfect, charismatic girl from Chloe's school?? yeah, she's at the concert and saves Chloe from the dicks who attacked her, and the two girls spend the rest of the concert together.

Now, for some reason, Chloe isn't sure but Rachel has taken a special interest in her. Rachel is flirty, she wants to know who Chloe is, she asks her to skip school with her, and the two take a ride on a train to a park and... honestly? pretty romantic, and it plays into that escapism fantasy thing of having the pretty girl who everyone likes single you out, making you feel special.

Over time, the girls grow close. Rachel has some family problems and seeks comfort in Chloe. They spend nights walking together down empty streets at night, holding hands. They hang out and talk about the stars, they discuss Shakespeare and what it's like to actually be your true self, if there's actually such a thing. They get tattoos together, and Rachel helps Chloe color her hair. They have a special hideout they decorated together in the junkyard. Rachel spends the night at Chloe's enough that she ends up leaving a lot of clothes there. They daydream about running away together, long road trips and living big in LA.

Chloe starts to see Rachel as her angel because for the first time since Max, she feels like she has someone she can be open and honest with. Rachel almost seems too perfect to be true, y'know?

And hey, over time Chloe actually starts to kinda get her life on the right track, if not in an unconventional way. Sure, she's still dealing with losing her father. that's not something she'll just get over... but she does start making an effort with her mom, and yes, even David after he told her about his time in the army and gave her that photo. They both know they'll never be friends, and they'll still have arguments, but they'll at least keep the peace for Joyce's sake.

It's not all perfect, though. Chloe's still smoking and Rachel isn't always the best influence. They get into trouble here and there, but nothing super serious.

She dropped out of Blackwell so that her mom didn't have to keep paying her tuition and because she's fixated on this fantasy of running away with Rachel. Chloe's feeling good about herself, about her future, for the first time since her dad died.

Until Rachel disappears.

And everything goes to shit pretty quick after that. Rachel's gone, she's not answering calls or texts, and everyone keeps saying that she probably ran away, but Chloe knows better. She knows Rachel wouldn't leave without her, so something must've happened. She makes posters and puts them everywhere, but things only get worse.

Money is tight. Joyce isn't making as much as she needs at the diner, David isn't making enough as a security guard, and hey... they might lose the house... the house that was once Williams, that's a piece of him he left behind. Not only that, but where will they go?

Chloe doesn't want them to lose the house, or for her mom to be this stressed out over food and bills. Chloe borrowed money from Frank in hopes of using it to run away with Rachel, but with her missing... Chloe decides to give it to her mom in order to save the house. Joyce is alarmed that she has this much, but Chloe manages to lie her way out of it to give her mom some peace of mind.

Except now she has another problem- she can't pay Frank back and he's getting more aggressive about it as the weeks go on. Rachel's still missing, Frank's breathing down her neck with threats toward her mom, money is still an issue at home, and she's not in a good place. Chloe's desperate enough to steal... so when she makes it into a bar that doesn't card her and she sees rich boy Nathan Prescott drunk off his ass and flashing bills, she thinks it'll be an easy score. It's wrong to do this, it's dangerous, but Chloe justifies it to herself. She needs that money.

She didn't expect Nathan to drug her drink, and she wakes up to him taking pictures of her. She manages to get the hell outta there, but she still has no idea what the hell happened to her. Like.... that reeeally fucks with her, it doesn't even feel real. She can't tell anyone, she can't tell her mom, and the police won't do anything since they're under the Prescott thumb.... and well, she decides to blackmail him.

And we all know how that goes.

So... we have the highs and lows of Chloe Price. She's flawed, even starting out as unbearable, but over time she becomes more nuanced and you're invested in what happens to her. You want to see her better herself, you want her to work through her grief and get help, you understand why she hates David but when you see him and Joyce happy together and him make an effort to be better, you want to see them make amends. You know David doesn't want to replace William, hell HE knows no one ever could.

You want Chloe to keep going, to find purpose in her life and realize her own potential. You saw her at the beginning when she was broken, when she was lost and didn't see a future for herself, and it's satisfying to see her come this far to where she knows she has a future... something that becomes all the more tragic when you remember her fate in the first game.

You're invested in Chloe and Rachel's romance, you get giddy watching them flirt and do dumb, romantic, cliche things, and you're just as compelled by Rachel as everyone else. No, she's not perfect, she's not a stereotype, she's much more layered than that and it only breaks your heart when you realize that she's killed later on, that of course she's going to go missing... you already know that! So you're watching Chloe, who has gotten pieces of her life back together and is genuinely happy.... fall back down the pit, fall back into the habits she had at the beginning, and you know it will lead to her downfall.

.....TOO BAD BEFORE THE STORM DID FUCK ALL WITH THAT RIGHT?

Nope, you don't get any of that. Well, except Chloe being cringy. You get a lot of that.

No, no, we got edgelord, flanderized Chloe who thinks her wit is much greater than it actually is, whose terrible moments outweigh the good, and who doesn't grow or change no matter what influence you try to have over her.

Rachel could be replaced with a literal barbie doll and little would change. She has no charm, she's nothing like what she was described in the first game, and she's just so fucking unlikable. When she finds out that her mom isn't actually her birth mom, she claims that her whole life is a lie and her parents aren't real and she wants to meet her druggie mom who chose drugs over her for 15 years because she's the one who actually squeezed her out.

Which, by the way, WHY is this the goddamn plot?? Why did they feel like they had to shove in this "oh hey Rachel's dad is the bad guy, oh wait now this drug guy is the bad guy because he stabby Rachel, no wait now her dad is the super bad guy because he put a hit out on Rachel's REAL mom, oh no wait it's fine because Frank murdered drug man off screen" WHY YOU DO THIS??

You have three episodes. THREE. And in those three episodes, you have the opportunity to explore Chloe as a character, and her relationships with Rachel, Joyce, and David. But instead of dedicating the story to that, something you could've created a compelling narrative out of, you threw in this dumb mom plot and fire-

HOW THE HELL DID I FORGET THE FIRE????

What- why did- does she have- Rachel just- RACHEL SETS THE FOREST ON FIRE??? WHY THOUGH???

I get it, "Rachel is the fire" yeah yeah and it's dumb.

Oh and because we didn't have enough going on, here's a side mission where you gotta deal with getting money from this other kid who's running drugs for big bad drug man because he wants to help his dad who lost his job.

But WAIT, there's more- In a series where several girls were drugged by Nathan and Jefferson, forced to pose for pictures, and some even killed or driven to try and take their own life? something taken so seriously...? Victoria gets drugged and it's treated like a joke. Even worse, there is a path that has Rachel drugging her, and no one cares.

ALSO.... Rachel cheated on Chloe with two adult men, remember? One of which fucking murders her?? and we're just... we're just not gonna do anything with that??? Nothing??? Maybe a little stinger at the end but that's it????

I just..... I hate this game so much.

It had so much potential. Not only that, but it had the first game to look at and learn from. Learn from the mistakes that game made and improve upon.... but instead, they fucked up even worse. It's just a game of fanservice that has way too much going on, is trying to do too much, and loses focus on the most important things.

Three episodes could've been enough to explore different points of Chloe's character before the events of the first game. They could've crafted a story that gave more insight into her life that make sense of the choices she made, that turn her into the Chloe we see in the first game. You don't need a forest fire, you don't need evil lawyers. I know the first game had the storm and time travel and big dumb Jefferson, but you wanted to tell a story that's grounded without shit like that... y'know, before the storm.

I could probably go on and on if someone doesn't stop me, so I'll stop myself here... I hate bts because it's potential was there, I could see it in a few key moments, and it was wasted.

The romantic ideas fall flat because being pretty and gay isn't enough for me, I need more than that. I don't care if they kiss because I don't care about their relationship, and frankly, they've done very little to make me care about them as individuals.

UGH

.......does that answer your quick question? haha sorry for the not so quick answer, but like I said, this game makes my brain mad and once I get going, it's hard to stop.

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one. 

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is  a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

[pterodactylterrace]

On tonight’s episode of “My Mother In Law Is Crazy” we have my MIL, blowing up my husband’s place of employment asking where he was because he hadn’t spoken to her in FIVE days. I messaged her going off about how inappropriate and controlling that was.

This crazy ass bitch SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE messaging my phone, demanding I come out and talk to her. After fifteen minutes or so, I finally go out and ask “do you need something?” To which she started going on about how her son hasn’t spoken to her in five days, and she wouldn’t have called if he had just responded to her. I asked how drunk she was. She asked me how much weed I’ve smoked. I told her I’ve been completely sober for two days, and she scoffed and rolled her eyes. Yeah, two days off of something that makes my entire body stop hurting. Meanwhile she drinks a bottle of rum a day.

Then when I pointed out her manipulative behavior, she started taking shots at me about my house being a mess, the laundry not being done and having dishes in the sink.

Yeah, I saw the house that she got FORECLOSED on. It had literal mounds of shit in it. It stunk so bad, it made you gag. But yeah, me having some dishes in the sink and toys in the floor makes me a bad housewife.

Then it turned to “you don’t even work!” Yeah… neither do you? You mooch off everyone around you. At least I care for my kids. They have a roof over their heads, food in their belly and parents that aren’t afraid to say “I love you”. When she started mocking me for not working, I laughed and walked away telling her to get the eff off my property.

She started trying to swell up on me. So I had to call he police. She left before they arrived, but even they seemed shocked at her behavior.

She has a point, I don’t “work”. I’m mostly a stay at home mom right now. That’s a lot harder than most people realize. I’m disabled. My body doesn’t work correctly, and she has the gall to take shots at me for not working? The fact that I keep my kids fed and happy is more than she can ever say. My husband has told me had to literally resort to eating dog food as a child because they had no food.

The real kicker? My husband is currently in a short term psychiatric hospital. Most, if not all of his mental problems stem from his messed up childhood. To put it simply, he’s in the hospital because of her, and she still feels it’s appropriate to try and throw me under the bus.

My husband also told me not to tell her where he was. He knows she wouldn’t understand and would throw a big fit about it. I mentioned to him that I had spoken to my mother about how his mother was acting. He asked if I had told her, which I hadn’t. He told me it’s fine to tell her where he is.

This man is more willing to let my mother know about his mental health problems than his own mother, because he knows mine won’t put him down or judge him for it. You know, like a mother should act when their child faces a hardship.

I love my husband so much it hurts, and I cannot stand his immediate family. His mother, brother and sister are all black listed as of right now. He can see them if he wants to, but they aren’t allowed contact with me, nor my children.

I also had to explain to my six year old that grandma wasn’t allowed around them anymore because she was threatening to hurt mommy, and I couldn’t trust she wouldn’t hurt them. She was more concerned about her unicorn cup being at grandmas house than not being able to see her again. I explained that anything at her house was replaceable, but my children were not. She responded to that with “ok, and if she comes back, daddy can arrest her because he works at the jail!” You have to love kid logic.

It always makes me so sad when my husband doesn’t know how to react when my parents support my decisions, even if they don’t agree with them. He is so damaged he doesn’t understand that you can still support and love someone even if you don’t agree with some of their choices. Love between a parent and child should not be conditional. Period. The best example I can think of is our first Halloween together. He asked me if my parents also took all of my candy when I got home, to which I replied “No? My parents loved me.” Sure, they would take a few pieces after asking, but they never sent me out by myself to collect candy then take it from me as soon as I got home. I don’t mean they rationed it to them either. They took and ate all his candy.

He’s a good man in spite of all of this. He is determined that the cycle of abuse stops now. Whenever he starts to lose his temper and I intervene, he ends up in tears once he calms down. He feels like he failed. That’s how I know he is a good man. He admits his mistakes and strives to do better. He doesn’t want his kids to end up like him, with a childhood so messed up they have PTSD from it.

Which she tried to deny, btw. I pointed this out to her before and she had the nerve to tell me “no he doesn’t!” Except he literally does? How are you trying to gaslight me when I’m the one that pushes him to seek help? He was shocked but not surprised by the diagnosis. The fact that he still seeks a relationship with her after being so traumatized from her parenting that he needs psychiatric help astounds me. He is a better man and far more forgiving than I could ever hope to be.