#also sidenote just ask me if you want something from this game or celebration bc it's a lot

[spliffymae]

shoulda, coulda, woulda, j. kirstein

synopsis: jean loved his job, he loved being a teacher. there was just something about his eighth grade class that brought him so much joy, he loved everything about his job, even then annoying, tedious tasks. he wouldn’t trade it for anything else. especially when one of his students’ mom is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

⚠️ afab!reader, cheating, swearing, smut, cocky!jean, teacher!jean, jean gets possessive, reader is in a loveless relationship.

kio’s notes - if y’all only knew the struggle i been going through to get this fic back🤦🏽‍♀️ anyways— i have this hc of the aot characters in like a school setting, and this is what i came up with for jean’s. also please don’t take any of this seriously, i’m writing this for shits and giggles bc i really do believe jean would have the audacity. MINORS DNI !!! 18+

now playing

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ok so how i picture jean as a teacher is the type of teacher that at first glance, is expected to be a strict and cold teacher. one that didn’t really goof around with his class and focused on the rules. he was stern at times, yeah, but if you sat in on a lesson with jean, you would see it’s actually the exact opposite.

for one, he was pretty chill. his students were comfortable to talk to him about anything that was bothering them. he even spoke to them about things that would happen to him, and even try to turn it into a life lesson.

“so this man cut me off today while driving here to see y’all. now i wanna know, do i let that little thing make me upset for the rest of the day, or do i take a breath, shake it off and make the best of a good mornin’?”

((( sidenote: i also imagine him having a bit of a southern accent? nothing crazy but like a like twang y’know? country boy turned teacher typa vibe.)))

another thing he would do is block out a time of the day—fifteen to twenty minutes (usually at the end of the day or during free period) to talk to his students about what’s currently going on, whether it be in their lives or in the world. he wasn’t on social media like that, so aside from world news, he was in the dark, especially about pop culture.

“mr. k! are you team selena or hailey?” one of his students asked, getting jean to furrow his brows.

“selena as in gomez? who’s hailey? and why are they beefing?” and for the next fifteen minutes, jean watches as a number of his students go up to the white board and draw him a diagram, explains the celebrity web of drama.

jean was also a fitness enthusiast. he loved to exercise and get his body moving. he also encouraged it in his class, even incorporating it into his history lessons. he would set up a circuit of educational exercises, where his students would not only learn new things, but even get a little bit of some cardio in. for example, at the end of each week for black history month, jean would have ahis class split into teams and take the photos of black icons from one side of the class, and run to the other side to stick them by a description.

jean even loved the annoying aspects of teaching elementary, like yard duty. he would normally be with the primary grades due to his ability to keep up with their energy, but when he would be with the juniors and intermediates he loved when they’d ask him to play a game.

“mr. k! we need one more for five on five!” one of his students would yell, and jean would jog over and join the team.

and if he was on duty with his friends? oh best believe they’re joining.

“serayah, honey,” jean waved over a sixth grader from his friend, mikasa’s class. “tell ms. ackerman that mr. k wants her to sub in for him.”

but what jean loved more than anything about his job was parent-teacher meetings. why? because he would get to see one of his favorite students, and his favorite parent. you and your son dante.

dante was one of jean’s most athletic students. he was on the school’s basketball and track team, as well as playing for a rep league outside of school. he took a liking to jean rather quickly, babbling on to you about how cool his teacher was.

when it came time to finally meet him at the school’s welcome back barbecue, you were shocked, for lack of better words. jean had to be the most handsome teacher you ever laid eyes on. he was muscular, lean, standing at six feet and two inches. he wore a dark denim jacket with a plain black tee shirt underneath, black cargo pants and a pair of black and yellow jordan retro 12s. he had a single silver chain and two small, silver hoop earrings. he smiled with a natural smirk, his eyes crinkling and creating a look you couldn’t help but fawn over. his freckled cheeks reddening with every compliment he got from parents passing by.

when his eyes landed on you, it seemed as though time stood still. you were mesmerizing to him. dressed in some jeans and a striped dress shirt, accessorized with dior slides and a black handbag. your hair was tied into a puff, small, coils accent pieces pulled out randomly for a ‘lazy effect’.

when you and dante walked up to him, he had a big, warm smile on his face. “mr. kirstein, correct?” ypu extended your hand, to which jean accepted. it was a soft, and now that you were closer to him he smelt the subtle hint of lilac waft off you. you gave him a bright smile, glossed lips pulled back to reveal bright whites that along with cheery eyes, had him swooning.

for the first five minutes of seeing you, jean was elated. but when his eyes glanced down to look at your interlocked hands, and he saw that silver wedding band glimmer in the light on your left ring finger, he felt a dark cloud over his head.

“it’s uh, pleasure to meet you mrs. smith.” jean cleared his throat and smiled, swallowing back the slight disappointment.

you shook your head, “please, call me (y/n), and the pleasure is mine. dante speaks so highly of you. i had to come see the magic for myself.” you laughed, the compliment getting him to look down as he felt his cheeks burn.

“well, dante is a good kid. love hearing his takes when we do history, and his heavy opinion on math.” jean looked over to dante with a teasing smirk, one that the young man rolled his eyes playfully at.

“there’s no reasons why paul needs 40 watermelons, mr. k! we’re going through inflation right now, he bein’ selfish!” your son exclaimed, his comment getting both you and jean to laugh.

before you could dive in further and ask questions regarding the class’ curriculum, a hand on your lower back interrupted you. “there ya are, was looking all over this dump for you.” your husband, erwin, kissed the side of your head as he stood next to you. he was dressed in a black suit, with a long brown coat over him. he must’ve come from work.

“oh you showed up, funny.” you said, trying to keep a playful tone as to not indicate to jean there was a problem. unbeknownst to you though, jean was more of a body language analyzer than tone, so although you sounded somewhat happy at your husbands appearance, he could tell by how you stiffened at his touch that you weren’t feeling it.

“don’t be like that.” erwin spoke to you in a quick, hushed tone before looking to his son, whose mood also seemed to drop at his dads presence. “dante, how’s it going?”

“good, dad. this is my teacher, mr.kirstein.” dante pointed to jean, who was still not over how your cheery mood seemed to evaporate the second your husband walked in.

the blond man turned to jean, eyes flicking up and down him before a smirk found its way on his lips, “this the one you don’t shut up about, huh? i’m erwin smith, attorney at maria rose law firm.” he extended his hand to jean and of course, he shook it with a smile, despite cursing the man internally.

it was at that barbecue jean learned the dynamic of your marriage, and got to see it play out over the course of the year. erwin, as best as he seemed to try, was very disconnected with dante. he had not a clue what the boy liked to do or how he was doing in school. jean gathered this from the way erwin would go on his phone when he would talk about dante’s in-class progress or how he would come with you to dante’s games and meets, but never really cheer for the boy. not like how jean would.

he would either be looking down at his phone for most of the game, or watch with the most uninterested look on his face. and when jean brought it to your attention, you would always shrug it off.

“he’s just not a big basketball fan, s’all.” you would reassure jean, but he could tell from the way you bit down on your bottom lip and eyebrows softened after speaking that you didn’t even buy into your own excuse.

but it was okay. erwin’s silent spectating made jean’s cheers all the more louder. you and him acting a fool on the bleachers whenever dante made a good play. so much so that dante stopped informing his dad and started telling jean about his upcoming games—even asking him to help him practice on a dunk at lunch recess. there was even one occasion you had to swing jean a text, asking him if he drive dante to practice because erwin got held up at work (even though he told you he’d take him).

but yeah. jean loved teaching. because through his job he met you and the two of you had grown incredibly close, bordering on good friends. it wasn’t the most ethical thing in the world, befriending a students mom, but jean knew coworkers who have done worse so he wasn’t phased.

you had noticed how much better dante’s energy had gotten since jean’s arrival. he looked forward to not only games but school now, and was even warming up more to his teammates and classmates. before he was very reserved, only speaking when spoken to. but jean brought something out of him. when he came, he would go stand by the players and help the teams coach. sometimes he’d even takeover. he would dub dante team leader, encouraging him to speak up more. after the first time jean coached the team, dante begged him to be his mentor.

“pleaseee mr. k! you really the only solid guy i got to look up to. you like what i like and you can ball. c’mon do it as a form of reparations! ” dante begged him one day after school, ambushing jean while he was trying to pack up his things and head home.

jean wanted to agree instantly, but knew he needed to speak to you about it. he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, not with you or dante—especially you, seeing as how you were a married woman. he brought it up to you the next time he saw you, at dante’s next game, while you two sat on the bleachers as dante’s team warmed up.

“d said he wants me to be his mentor. wanted to ask you if it’s okay to accept. i wouldn’t wanna step on his father’s toes or anything of the sort.. he also told me to do it for reparations?”

on the outside, jean was expressing consideration and empathy. but on the inside, he was country steppin’ on erwin’s toes, letting an evil laugh out in his head at the thought of taking erwin’s place. not just in dante’s life, but yours too.

you let out a loud cackle at the last part, “no he didn’t! oh my gosh, i’m so sorry bout his blunt ass. but i doubt erwin would look up from his phone long enough to care, jean. it’s cool with me if you want to accept. d’s changed a lot since you’ve been around, it’s been nice to see.”

you were in awe at your son’s transformation, to say the least. it was the spring of the second term, and dante had improved so much in the last couple months. his writing, confidence, and athletic ability had improved, but so had his mindset. he never took school seriously, or even cared about his marks. erwin told you it was just his teenage phase and to let him be, but you couldn’t. and thankfully for you, jean couldn’t either. he was more hands on than erwin, who was too focused on clients to worry about you two.

but oh, erwin should’ve worried.



he should’ve started to worry when you started coming home later. you used to be home by seven to make dinner for him when he would come home, tired from judges and verdicts. but now you’d be home at nine or nine thirty, you and dante well-fed while erwin munches on dinner he bought or leftovers he threw together once he realized you weren’t coming home in time.

he should’ve been curious when you were getting calls from jean outside of the appropriate hours. erwin would catch you on the phone at ten at night or sometimes even midnight. he would question you, but you would say it was either an “urgent dante matter” or that you were on the phone with one of your girlfriends and urge him to leave you alone.

but what really should have raised your husband’s suspicions was when you would go out with jean without dante. if only he didn’t shrug off dante when he said you finished work and went with jean to meet up with other members of the team’s parents. if only he wondered why the parents would be getting together at nine o’clock on a wednesday night.

if he had, maybe you wouldn’t have been at a bar late at night, confiding in jean about your marriage as you throw your legs over his lap, pink crocs practically neon in the light.

if erwin had worried, you and jean wouldn’t be tipsy and dancing together, with him holding you close as you swayed your hips to the rhythm of the music, grinding against his hardening dick with his thumb in the loop of your jeans as he tapped the beat of the music against your hip.

if erwin had called you like he thought to, he would’ve pulled your attention from jean, who was whispering sweet words into your ear, going on about how beautiful you are, and how he’s been dying to take care of you. his hand held your own, his warmth making your body melt.

maybe if erwin had worried about the amount of time you were spending with jean, he could’ve prevented that night. and stopped you from beginning what would be the end of your sanctified marriage.

maybe you wouldn’t be a where you were right now, how many days later, lying on your side with jean behind you, laying waste to your plump lips with kisses and nips. he held you close to him, chest pressed against your back and arms around you. he was grinding himself against you, his tip hitting your clit.

“jean,” you whined, a breathless sigh leaving your lips after. he had already fucked you to five orgasms throughout the day—since eight in the morning, the time you arrived at his house (you had lied and said you were going to work). but he was looking to make it six—his lucky number. honestly, your body really shouldn’t endure anymore of jean, but he was fucking you too good for you to focus on soreness and/or tell him to stop.

he tapped his dick against your clit, the puffy nub tingling from the sensation. “fuck, baby put it in.” you whined. your hand slid down to try and push his head down to go in between your folds. “please, m’so ready.” you sniffled, feeling the familiar sting of tears in your eyes.

“my baby so needy, hm? what’s wrong? that shitty husband of yours ain’t fuckin’ right?” jean spoke next to your ear, his breath fanning over your cheek. he continued to glide himself up and down your folds, collecting your slick as lube and ignoring your whining and begging.

“not like you, jean—shit!” you were struggling to pull yourself together. you were overstimulated, you were exhausted, but your body craved him. it had been so long since you were worshipped like this, since your heart had felt so full from jean’s endearing words. not to mention phat ma was loving the attention.

jean chuckled, “you damn right, sweetheart. this right here is mine, understand? don’t wanna see no other man touching you, speaking to you—looking at you, even! i’ll fuckin’ kill ‘em.” he snarled.

he didn’t wait for a response from you. he just slowly pushed himself inside, listening to the breath that hitched in your throat. that really was all the response he needed. “jean…” you grabbed onto the sheets to release any form of tension. despite being full of jean all day, you were still not use to his motion. his size was one thing; he was tall with a curve at the head. he he was more on the thicker side, with light brown hairs trimmed neatly around his area. he was about the same size as erwin, but it was his strokes that hit you differently. they were far more powerful than your husbands. they were more determined, focused—not just on his own orgasm but yours as well.

jean smirked, “not like me, yeah. that asshole can’t begin to reach the places i can! m’gonna fuck some sense into you to leave that blond fuck.” he pressed his free hand against your stomach, squeezing on your waist. “gonna give my pretty girl the family she always wanted. me, you, d, and one of our own. how’s that’s sound, sweetheart?” jean kissed the back of your ear with his promise.

you were dying! here this man was, fucking you into an oblivion, loving your body in a way your husband hasn’t in so long. how were you supposed to say no? he was promising you what erwin no longer gave you, what he forgot he did on your wedding day.

it was wrong for you to be here with him. you were breaking every possible vow and eternal promise you made to erwin on the day of your wedding. but in the moment, you didn’t care. jean was fucking you too good to feel guilty for your infidelity. his dick was hitting a spot you had forgotten existed, wiping your memory of erwin and the past nights of passion you two shared.

“think of our baby, mama. how beautiful they’ll look with your eyes, your smile, your fuckin’ kindness—” jean was lolling at the thought. the idea of getting you swollen with his baby. pregnant you would be dependent on him for sure, needing him to ease your sore body or help you with your hormonal mood swings. he would be your go-to. he could see the future you two could have, it was right there. and by god was he going to attain it one way or another.

“please, make me a mommy, jean please. wanna be your kids’ mommy.” you begged him, and he could’ve cum alone at that. you looked back at him, lips poked out in a pout and eyes glossed over. there wasn’t a thought behind them, nothing in that pretty little head of yours except how he was making you feel.

yeahhhh, erwin should have been worried. when he saw you enter your shared bedroom at nearly midnight, walking straight to the bathroom with what appeared to be a faint limp, he shouldve gotten up to ask you what happened….but he couldn’t bring himself to.

he should’ve pushed jean for answers when he ran into him one day at home depot, and after threatening him over your guys’ overly friendly relationship, listened to jean respond with:

“you know what i tell my students about letters, mr. smith?…that sometimes they can be silent. like the word ‘rhythm’ for example—the first ‘h’ is silent. and i’m gonna tell you that the word ‘your’ has a silent y.”

erwin blinked, “what?”

jean nodded, a shit-eating grin on his face, “yup. at least in your case it does. so your wife, is our wife. that body you don’t value” jean rolled his neck in irritation, “is ultimately hers, but for the sake of this argument, is ours—well more so mine since i heard your ass isn’t hittin’ spots i can. so keep that in mind the next time you think about steppin’ to me, alright? you have a good night now, mr. smith.” he flashed erwin a wink before turning away, leaving the man stunned in the middle of the store.

perhaps it was now too late for erwin to worry.

[samgirard]

your ‘21-22 western conference champions: the colorado avalanche

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 10

"𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦." ━  𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧 𝐟𝐭. 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭, 𝐈 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: just angst tbh

word count: 5,850 [again of un proofread material sorry lmao]

authors note: [quick sidenote: if you want to make this sad af, then listen to heal by tom odell here bc that’s what i did when writing lmao.] omg yay part 10 finally! when this posts i’ll still be at work, but i’m so happy that i was able to get this out to you guys today! this series is coming to an end soon and honestly i’m sad about it bc idk what the hell i’m gonna do once it’s over lmao. for everyone who reblogs, likes and even reads this series– thank you from the bottom of my heart. i enjoy reading everyone’s tags and messages and it makes me happy and want to write even more when i see how much you guys enjoy the series. i hope this part is good enough bc part 11 is coming up and well...we’ll see what happens :)

Two days after the incident in the training room, finals week had wrapped up, Kennedy had already gone home to celebrate an early Christmas with her parents before joining you in Victoria, campus closed down and you had found yourself displaced. Originally, pre-Typocalypse...you were supposed to stay with Jamie and Katie, then all fly back together after the game tonight. But those plans had since changed since Jamie was obviously still not talking to you. Kennedy offered you to come and stay with her, but you were already stealing her for Christmas, you didn't want to intrude on the few days her and her parents got to spend together for the Holidays.  Before you could even think about booking a hotel for the next few days, Big Rig offered you his guest room and the two of you have been temporary roommates ever since.

It was a great set up, honestly. Since you were still obligated to be at team practices, the two of you drove there together and left afterward. He was like the big shield that protected you from Jamie's glares and Tyler's horrible attempts at trying to please Jamie by not looking at you. When they went on their Florida series, Dave offered you a chance to go since you were on break, but you turned it down and made a joke about how if you went to Florida you might not come back. Instead, you relaxed on Big Rig's couch, thought about going to see Tyler's dogs and switched between binging 'You' and 'Fuller House' on Netflix.

But today was the day that you would be handing John the paperwork for your internship that he needed to sign and handover. Just things saying that your timesheet was correct, signing off and typing up a letter about how you did. The practice before they left for Florida, actually the same day he had offered you a spot on the trip, was when you broke the news to him that you wouldn't finish out the season with them. Of course, he probably had some kind of inkling as to the reasons why. You always thought that girls were the worst when it came to gossip, but it turns out grown men are a lot worse. But he was kind and never asked for the specifics and respected your decision not to continue and just told you to give him the paperwork whenever you could and that he'd fill it out for you. He also commented on how good of a job you did and that if you ever changed your mind, they'd welcome you back without a second thought.

And that's what you told Katie when the two of you went out to an early dinner before heading to the arena for the game. But now, as the two of you were in your uber and headed towards the arena, the daunting task of having to actually hand over your paperwork weighed heavy on your heart. Katie had invited you along to dinner and you thought that it was probably her way of reaching out to you since your brother was failing to do so, but you didn't mind. You really liked Katie and she was like the other big sister you never had. To your surprise though, the two of you didn't talk much about what had happened between you, Tyler and Jamie. Instead, she focused on your senior year, where you were applying to jobs and how life in L.A. had been treating her.

But now you were itching to get her opinion on the matter, because if there was anyone besides you who was closer to Jamie in this city and had the insight of his thoughts– it was her. When the two of you stepped out of the Uber and made your way through security to get to the back hallway, you broke the silence on the matter.

"Did you know?" You blurted out as the two of you bypassed security. She turned to you with a generic expression. "Did you know before he...found out?"

"I mean, I kind of had a feeling something was going on," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Just even during the few times I was down here and we all went downtown. The two of you had never really been as close or hung out too often before and I just noticed all of the little things that boys are too oblivious to see."

"Yeah, maybe going out together was a bad idea. Maybe this whole damn thing was a bad idea," you sighed, clutching the manilla folder close to you.

"I don't think it was a bad idea, I just think that you and Tyler approached it wrong. You guys should've been a little more upfront and honest with Jamie. He still might have been angry, but it would have been a lot better than the alternative."

You nodded, accepting her cold truth as the two of you made your way through the parking garage and towards the hallway entrance. "Has he reached out to you yet?"

"Jamie or Tyler?"

"Both, I guess."

You shook your head, pushing back the pain that came with the thought of the two guys you cared for most, ignoring you. "Not even an in-person acknowledgment."

"I've been talking to them both, trying to get them to see the sense of it all. I told Jamie he needs to talk to you before this gets any worse...but you know how he is."

"Yeah, I do," you nodded, opening the door and stepping into the hallway. You looked down the right towards the training room and took a deep breath. "Well, I guess this is it."

"I can come with you if you want? Give you a little moral support?"

"Thanks, but I need to do this on my own," you took a deep breath and nodded, giving yourself a little encouragement. "I'll see you at home in a few hours?"

"Longest plane ride of our lives," she joked, hugging you before turning towards the elevator. "Oh, one more thing about you and Tyler!"

"Yeah?" You asked, giving her a hopeful, but sad look.

"It wasn't just the physical things I noticed, like the small touches." She shrugged her shoulders and gave you a small smile. "But it was just how different the two of you seemed. You were a lot happier and open and Tyler...he was a lot calmer and genuinely happy. I think the two of you are very good together."

You didn't know what to say, but instead gave her a thankful smile and watched her get into the elevator to head up to the upper level. It hurt your heart, to think about how your relationship had changed the two of you for the better and yet here you guys were– avoiding each other at all costs. You brushed those thoughts aside and walked down the hallway. You needed to give Dave your paperwork, but there was something else you needed to do first.

You knocked on to the locker room door, hearing a voice on the other side. You covered your eyes with one hand and pushed the door open, stepping into the room. "Is everyone in here decent?"

"It's just me and Dobby, Y/N," Klinger said, laughing. "So yes, open your eyes."

You uncovered your eyes to see the two men sitting in their respectful stalls. "Where's everyone else?"

"Training room, on the bench or playing footy," Dobby said, standing up. "You okay?"

You nodded, walking over towards Big Rig's stall and holding up your purse. "Big Rig just asked me to bring something for him, he forgot it at the apartment."

They nodded and Dobby walked out of the door, Klinger stopping while holding it open. "Do you think you can tape me today?"

You felt a crushing feeling inside of you because he had no clue that you weren't here to work...but instead to quit. "If no one's busy." You smiled, as he nodded in reply before leaving the locker room.

You took a deep breath and sighed before walking away from Big Rig's stall and over to Tyler's. You dug into your purse and pulled out his house key, which was attached to the  '#1 labrador mom' keychain he had given you, and placed it right in the middle of his stall. You've been meaning to give it back to him since everything crumbled, but you just haven't had the courage to face him since the day of he and Jamie's explosion. Plus, you were flying home to Victoria tonight and there would be no better time than the present to give him back the gift. Now, you had to do the one thing that you came here for– turn in your hour sheet, along with some other internship paperwork, to John. You had talked to him earlier in the week about deciding not to finish out the season, and you had to admit that you felt honored that he was upset that you were choosing not to continue. For the first time in a while, it made you feel like you had accomplished something here and that your work was appreciated. But the hardest part wasn't telling him that you were quitting, it was turning in your paperwork for him.

You stood outside of the training room door, contemplating whether or not to call Katie and tell her that you had changed your mind, that you'd love for her to walk into the room with you so you could walk right back out. But then you thought back on all of your conversations with Big Rig since Kennedy left and how, in her absence, he's been more than willing to lend an ear and even give you some advice and boost up your confidence. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling and then opening your eyes again. "I can do this." You gave yourself a few more seconds before bringing your shoulders back, lifting your chin and pushing the door open, walking into the training room like you owned the place.

"Y/N!" Pavs cheered, throwing his fists into the air. "You're finally here! I've been waiting for you to come and tape my ankle for me, for like...ever!"

"Sorry for being late," you replied, looking immediately in John's direction to see him walking over to his desk. "I just need to–"

"And you're out of your uniform?" Dickinson scoffed, walking by you. "What are they teaching you at this fancy college?"

"Yeah Y/N, you're not on winter break yet. No, relax!" Rads chimed in as the rest of the guys just laughed.

You rolled your eyes at their chirping but kept the smile on your face because you were glad that things seemed to have rolled over when it came down to the tension whenever you, Tyler and Jamie were all in the same room. This was ringing true because the three of you were in the same room at this very moment. Tyler was sitting down by Big Rig, stealing a resistance band from him to work on his shoulder, while Jamie was lying on a table in front of John's desk, getting his hamstring scraped by Craig. Neither of them looked as tense as they had in the last week, but they still weren't paying any attention to you. Well, you thought they weren't until you caught Tyler looking away from you the moment you went to say something to Big Rig about his bands. He played it off, looking immediately to his right, probably not realizing he'd be staring at a blank wall– but you were over it all, so it didn't bother you one bit.

"Is this the paperwork we talked about?" Dave asked, finally sitting down at his chair and tossing a towel on his desk.

You walked forward with the manilla folder in hand and held it up, giving him a tight-lipped smile. "Yep, this is it. Sorry I couldn't get it to you sooner. It took a while to get together since Finals ended and everything is hectic."

You held it out to him and he grabbed it from you, placing it onto his desk and opening it, skimming through the pages and nodding. "Can I get this to you after you come back from break?"

"Absolutely. There's no need to rush," you looked off to see Big Rig giving you a supportive look. He was the only one in the room besides Dave, that knew just what those papers were for. "Just as long as it's before graduation."

"Y/N!" Miro said, rushing into the room and out of breath. "You're here! Please tape me, you're the only one who can."

"Looks like you're stuck with just Craig and me, Miro," Dave said, closing the folder and standing up from his chair. "You guys must have chased her away. She's finished with her internship and decided not to extend for the full season."

That non-existent tension that you mentioned earlier, sprung it's ugly head back into the room the moment that his announcement left his lips. Both Jamie and Tyler perked up at what Dave had said, both surprised and even had a split moment where they looked at each other. Though of course, they had no clue of your decision, so shock and confusion were along the lines of what you expected them to feel. You made eye contact with Jamie first and you couldn't exactly pinpoint just what he was feeling since three separate emotions ran across his face: shock, disappointment and finally, joy. When you acknowledged him back, he opened his mouth slightly as if he might just say something, but instead bit the inside of his cheek and rested his head back down onto his forearms as Craig continued to scrap him. Tyler on the other hand only had two visible emotions: sad and extremely pissed. And if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes carried hints of sadness, you'd only think he was extremely pissed, seeing as the scowl on his face and his knitted eyebrows were the key symbols of his anger. Rightfully, you were confused at his reaction. How could he even be bothered to be angry about your choice when he hasn't talked to you in nearly two weeks?

Screw him, he has no right to be angry.

You turned your attention away from him and started to make your way back to the training room door. "Well, shit, who the hell is going to deal with my shin problem now?" Big Rig said, clearing out the silence in the room.

Bishop laughed as well a few other guys who were still left in the training room before walking away from your desk and over to you. "You're 27 years old, figure it out, you dweeb!" He came to a stop in front of you and hugged you. "Good luck with the rest of your senior year. I hope you'll still come around."

"Eh, maybe I will," you joked, pulling away from the hug and giving the guys a small wave. "Good luck tonight guys. Someone fight Tkachuk or I'll disown you as my team and switch to the Canucks."

Your joke was followed by multiple groans and mumbles, in reply to your goodbye and to the fact that you were leaving their training room forever. Once the conversation returned to normal, you took that as your time to slip out of the training room unnoticed and back out into the hallway. The moment you stared down the empty hallway, you took a deep breath and felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You, Kennedy and Big Rig had made yourself a checklist of things to do before the year came to an end and you came back from winter break.

The first? Talk to Dave and give him the paperwork to wrap up your internship.

The second? Somehow repair your relationship with Jamie, which has yet to even have an outlined plan.

And the third? ...Close things off with Tyler on a positive note. He was a friend way before he was a hookup and he's your brother's best friend. Just because the two of you had relations, doesn't mean you couldn't still be friends.

You weren't one to lie to yourself. You knew that the last one probably wouldn't happen before the end of the year, if at all. Confronting Tyler was terrifying to you. Sure, you've planned everything that you wanted to say to him– it's been boiling inside of you for days. But there was never a moment that presented itself to where you could get Tyler alone, and you no longer felt comfortable just showing up at his place. So, you just pushed it onto the backburner and knew that somewhere down the road, you'd be able to accept that things would be like this from here on out– avoiding each other and pretending like nothing ever happened.

"Y/N, wait!" Halfway down the hallway, you stopped in your tracks as you listened to the sound of a door closing and shoes scuffing along the floor.

You didn't want to turn around, hell, you didn't even want to stop. But it was like your body turned against you the moment that you heard his voice. His footsteps came to a stop just behind you and you could hear him panting a little, trying to catch his breath. In his hand, you heard the slight jingle of a single key on a lanyard, and your heart squeezed in your chest.

"You can't do this. You can't leave!" The anger in his voice took you by surprise, just like his reaction only moments ago in the training room had. "You can't let me stop you from keeping this internship."

"Excuse me?" You scoffed, whipping around and feeling pure adrenaline running through your veins. "That's awfully narcissistic of you."

He looked taken back as he held tightly onto the lanyard he'd gifted you. "That's why you're leaving, though. Because of...everything?" He took a step towards you, shaking his head. "If it is I–"

Maybe it was the way he had phrased the sentence or maybe it was the way that he had pretty much just written off every moment the two of you had shared in a hesitant state. Whatever it was, you felt a whirl of anger and adrenaline swirling around inside of you as you clenched your fists by your side. "I completed my hours, Tyler, meaning my internship is done. I've fulfilled my duties as an intern here and even if it was about you and 'everything'," you threw your air quotes as you stared at him, your eyes hoping to burn holes into his head. "My position here was never permanent and we both knew that."

You felt slightly proud of yourself for the sly insinuation you threw in at him, and even more so proud when you saw that he understood just what you were implying. "Y/N listen, we need to talk."

Even if you wanted to, you couldn't have prevented the laugh that escaped from your mouth. "You've had almost two weeks to 'talk', Tyler. Two weeks to send me a text or a phone call to meet up someplace! But now that I'm leaving and I'll no longer be around for your convenience, it's the perfect time to talk?"

He stood there silent because he knew damn well that you were right. He had plenty of opportunities in the last two weeks to reach out to you, but he hadn't even bothered to pick up the phone and there was no denying it. You stood there, taking him in and it only made you feel worse. He had a hurt look on his face like he was lost as to what you wanted him to say or to do– and that only made you angrier. It was simple, what you wanted him to do. For the last two weeks, all you've wanted was for him to just talk to you, to let you know that he hadn't tossed you aside like another pointless hookup. But now, all you wanted to do was get everything off of your chest, and it was then that you realized...the universe was granting you the alone time you've desperately wanted.

"You don't get it, do you?" You asked, shaking your head as you felt a knot tighten in your throat. "You don't get how...how embarrassed I am! Do you know how many people told me to avoid getting involved with you? That you'd do nothing but end up hurting me in the end?"

"'He has a reputation for a reason, Y/N!' 'All he does is whore around Dallas, Y/N.' 'You guys are in two different stages of life, it won't work out.'" You laughed again, trying your damndest not to try. "I've heard it all, Tyler. From Kennedy, from your teammates, from kids at my school, hell– I even heard it from my mom!"

You bit the inside of your cheek as you looked off to your left, giving yourself a few seconds to compose your thoughts before looking at him again. "But I brushed their worries aside because I saw a side of you that they never got the chance to. I saw how kind and sweet you were with me. How you'd jump at any opportunity to help me study and how you always made me feel welcome in your home."

"I saw it all and I thought, 'hey, you know what? They're all wrong. He's not that kid in Boston and he's not the same guy he was when he first got to Dallas.'" You pointed at him before letting your hand drop back to your side. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt because I know people can change and with my whole heart, I believed that you had."

He continued to stare at you, almost void of emotion now as if he had put up a wall and was just letting you scream at it, which only made you more upset. "I understand that you could have lost your best friend, I really do. And I'd never ask you to put our, whatever the hell we had, above your friendship with Jamie."

 Your bottom lip trembled as you thought about the nights since, where you've checked your phone every minute to see if he had texted you. "But you could have texted me. You could've said 'hey, I just need some space right now to figure stuff out' and I would have been fine with that! Instead, you just...tossed me aside and shut me out."

The more that you spoke, the more weightless you began to feel. It was as if speaking every word and feeling you had saved for Tyler was freeing you of the pain that him dropping you like nothing, had caused. Yet, you couldn't help but feel angry at how he was just standing there. You wanted a reaction, you wanted him to apologize– anything was better than this.

"Say something! Stop standing there and staring at me!" You yelled, feeling surprised at yourself for just how high your voice had gone and echoed off of the walls.

You watched his Adam's apple bob as his fingers tangled and twirled through the lanyard."Jamie and I... we've been talking and I think it's going well."

"Well that's great for you, isn't it?" You scoffed, shaking your head and motioning towards him with a hand. "At least my brother is talking to someone, right? Better you than me, I guess. I'm happy you got your best friend back, I truly am."

The longer you stood there, the more you felt your body begin to shake from the pure adrenaline running through you. And the more that he just stared at you, the more you felt your heart breaking because it was starting to become clear that you were the only one who was hurting from all of this. You laughed in disbelief at your revelation before turning away from him, preparing to walk down the aisle and out of his view.

"Why?" You asked, keeping your back turned. "Why did you do it?"

"...Why did I do, what?"

You turned around, your hair whipping into your face before you brushed it back with your fingers. "Why did you go back to Maisy?" Your voice cracked as you spoke softly, staring at him with the tears that were threatening to spill. "Why did you treat me like I was the most important person to you and then toss me aside like I was just another pointless hookup?"

"Y/N..."

"Did you even care? Wait, no, of course, you didn't and would you like to know how I know that, Tyler?" You stared at him, expecting an answer but knowing you wouldn't get one. "Because you practically rushed me out of your house and into an uber like I was nothing. You couldn't even be bothered to make sure I got home okay! The first sign of trouble and you toss me into an uber, sent me away and then ignored me like every..."

Your voice broke as you brought a hand to your mouth and turned away from him. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down your racing heart before looking back at him. "You ignored me like every moment we spent together meant nothing to you. And m-maybe they did but to me? They're some of the best memories I've had here in Dallas."

"So imagine how it made me feel, when my brother of all people, tells me that she's here...in your seats, not even four days after you had sex with me and tossed me aside." You glared at him as your bottom lip trembled once again. "You made me look like a joke Tyler."

"It wasn't like that, okay? Maisy was just–"

"I don't care what it was like, Tyler! She was here, in seats YOU bought her last season!" You yelled, throwing your arms in the air. "You told me that you guys were over! That you haven't talked to her since July and yet, there she was!"

The moment you felt the first tear glide down your cheek, you knew that you only had moments before you would burst into tears. You went to speak and a small sob escaped from the back of your throat. Tyler went into a small panic, his eyes widening as he stepped forward and reached out for you. "Y/N–"

"Don't," You stepped back, smacking his hand away. "Don't touch me, just...don't." You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing and collecting your thoughts before opening them and looking at him one last time. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt Tyler, but it turns out everyone was right."

You laughed again, shrugging your shoulders and shaking your head. "You're still that 19-year-old kid in Boston, who doesn't have a clue about what he wants for his life...you're nowhere near the man I thought you were." You looked him dead in the eyes, not caring about the tears running down your face. "Grow up."

With that, you turned your back to him and started to finish your journey down the hall and to the elevator, choosing to ignore how his footsteps followed you. "Y/N, wait...please."

You stopped, this time choosing to and kept your head down towards the ground and holding back your sobs. "SEGGY WHERE ARE YOU? GET DRESSED, WE'VE GOT 5 MINUTES TILL WARM-UPS!" Big Rig called out, his loud voice echoing down the hall.

You expected to hear Tyler's footprints walk in the opposite direction, but you were met with silence. "Y/N, stay after the game, please? I just," he sighed, trying to figure out what to say. "We really need to talk about everything and just...please wait for me after the game? Five minutes, two minutes, one minute– whatever you want, I don't care. Just...please, let me explain?"

"SEGGY LET'S GO!" Rads called out this time, his voice louder as you kept your back to Tyler.

You heard him sigh again before listening to his footsteps run in the direction back towards the locker room. You didn't hesitate to walk as fast as you could to the elevator, letting out every tear and sob your body had held back as he pleaded for a chance to explain. It was all you wanted from him, an explanation, but he was too late. You weren't staying for the game, you were leaving the arena and hopping onto a flight to Victoria in two hours.

You just didn't have the heart to tell him that.

You were grateful for the elevator attendant who stayed silent your entire ride up to the upper level. Before the doors opened, you took a deep breath and wiped your eyes, fixing yourself up before you'd make your way through the crowds and out of the arena. The attendant gave you a friendly smile as you walked out of the elevator. As soon as the doors closed and you made your way through the crowds, you spotted Paisley turning away from the drink cart ahead of you and you were desperate for the crowd to swallow you up before she could witness you in all of your misery.

Unfortunately for you, the universe wasn't so kind because as soon as she looked up from her purse, her eyes locked on yours and she smiled and waved at you. You froze in place, probably bothering the fans trying to make their way around you as you watched in horror, Paisley coming towards you.

"Y/N, hi!" She smiled, just as cheery as the first time you met her, which again, made it so hard to dislike her. "What are you doing up here? I thought you were down in the training room and stuff?"

"How did you know that?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cole," she scoffed, rolling her eyes before taking a sip of her beer, which was another shock because you took her for a wine kind of girl. "He complained about it and Tyler Seguin and some dude named Big Rig? But I don't understand why because like, your job sounds really cool!"

"Well, it was pretty cool, but I finished up my internship, so I won't be here much longer." You replied, stuffing your hands awkwardly into your sweatshirt pockets.

She looked at you, her eyes taking in your appearance and lingering on your face for much longer than you'd like them to. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

There were a lot of things you wanted to do right now and talking to the girl your boyfriend cheated on you with, was not on the list. But she was being so nice to you and after the horrible moment you just had with Tyler, you needed a little positivity right now. "I kind of just maybe...broke up with someone? I mean we weren't a thing, but we kind of were and it's just...it's a whole hot mess." You sighed, shaking your head and brushing it off. "It doesn't matter anymore."

She gasped, bringing her drink to her chest and grabbing onto your wrist with her free hand as she leaned in. "You broke up with Tyler? But why? You guys seemed so happy whenever I saw you out downtown. Even when I saw you walking around campus, you just looked so...happy."

"It's complicated."

She shook her head, sighing and taking a long sip of her wine. "I guess it is true then, men are shit. College guy or NHL player." She must have seen the shocked look on your face because she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, I dumped Cole's ass. Sometime after you left the ABC party. He's just an asshole! And I'm sorry about everything...I never knew and I feel horrible about it."

"It's okay, he really was an asshole." You laughed, feeling a small flutter of happiness rush through you for the first time in what felt like forever. As she joined you in laughter, you dug your phone out of your back pocket and smiled. "What's your number? Maybe we can hang out after break?"

"Oh my God, yes!" She squealed, taking your phone from your hands and bringing her own out. "And I'll add you on snap and Instagram, too! Honestly, you and Kennedy seem like the coolest girls and I've always wanted to be friends with you since freshman year English lit, but we never really had classes together again."

"We can make plans for spring break maybe?" You suggested as the two of you added each other on social media before putting your phones away.

"Yes! We can plan it after break! Maybe you can even introduce me to a cute hockey boy?" She winked, nudging you playfully. "It seems to have worked out for Kennedy well."

You laughed again, nodding your head. "I know a few single guys, we'll see what we can do." You felt your phone vibrating and you brought it back out to see the notification about your uber being ten minutes out. "Oh shoot, I need to go and get my bags before my uber gets here. But I'll text you later?"

"Sure thing!" She nodded before turning to walk away. "Oh, and one more thing!"

"Yeah?"

"Don't count him out just yet, okay? As I said, I saw how he looked at you whenever I saw you guys downtown and if I know boys like I think I do...I'd say that boy loves you. And a boy in love doesn't give up that easily." She smiled and shrugged her shoulders before winking at you. "Just a thought."

You watched her disappear into the crowd, wondering what the hell just happened. When you made your way down the escalators and into the main lobby, you navigated your way towards the front office where Big Rig had asked the staff to hold your bags for you. Sneaking in and then out quickly, you grabbed the Stars 'staff' lanyard around your neck and stuffed it into your sweatshirt pockets before walking out of the arena doors with your luggage in hand and made your way to the spot where you'd meet your uber. As you stood there, waiting for your Uber to arrive, you thought about what she said. Out of curiosity, you brought your phone out of your back pocket again to see a new text on your screen...from Tyler.

'see you after the game?'

You went to reply to tell him the news, but your uber pulled up and you locked your phone and shoved it into your sweatshirt pocket along with the Dallas Stars lanyard.

You were leaving for Victoria, Tyler would go home to Toronto and there would be no waiting for him in the hallway after the game, giving him a chance to explain.

The damage was already done.

[fiirelords]

TAG GAME BONANZA!!

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Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Tagged by: @opuggno​, @sirjsblack​ @njmphadora​ @simplywolfstar​, @tlnagoldsteln​ @billspotts​ <33

Name | ana Nicknames | most people just call me ana or *cringes* ana lourdes *sigh*, my mom calls me anita, my friends call me shitface, dog or bitch, @njmphadora​ and @findfyre​ call me ana banana (but I secretly, ok, it’s not that much of a secret, but I hate bananas)(or any fruit for that matter)(shhhhhh don’t tell them!!),and that’s about it Zodiac sign | aquarius Height | 1.65m or 5′4′’ Orientation | Straight Ethnicity | latin american Hogwarts house | ravenclaw  Favourite fruit | limes Favourite season | idk ok?? either fall or winter Favourite book | harry potter Favourite flower | I’m not really a flower person, I just don’t get it?? they’re just plants that smell like plants lmao Favourite scent | cleaning supplies, permanent marker (u know, the ones that smell nice), books (old and new), lime juice lmao, freshly baked cookies, fries (ofc) and idk what else Favourite colour | idk. black?? white?? it might be white bc it’s so neat?? but black is bold af asdfghds idk Favourite animal | cats?? turtles?? the fish emoji?? foxes (like dayumn) idk Last thing you googled | froot loops (my friends thought it was fruit loops lmao) Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa | ICED tea, hot cocoa, never coffee Average sleep hours | 3-4 hours (I should sleep more Cat or dog person | both lol (I love pets!!) Favourite fictional character | James Potter?? Number of blankets you sleep with | one Dream trip | london Blog created | December 23rd 2016 Number of followers | 1936 (excited but idk what to do for 2k!!)

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. I was tagged by @quidditchplayer​, @hagridsrubeus​ <33

1. coke or pepsi: COKE!!! (VANILLA COKE IS LIFE!!)

2. disney or dreamworks: disney


3. coffee or tea: ICED tea


4. books or movies: both! but tbh I have been watching a lot more movies than I have been reading books!


5. windows or mac: mac 

6. dc or marvel: MARVEL!! (sorry dc!! I still love you <3)

7. x-box or playstation: where’s nintendo though?? bc I still own a super nintendo lmao and a nintendo 64 does this make me hipster/vintage or smth??

8. dragon age or mass effect: … *cricket chirps in the distance* idk what this is lol


9. night owl or early riser: definitely night owl

10. cards or chess: cards
!! (I actually have a playing card collection lmao)

11. chocolate or vanilla: most of the time chocolate

12. vans or converse: converse


13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ummmm *more crickets come bc idk what this is either*


14. fluff or angst: angst I guess?? idk, it’s more entertaining lmao

15. beach or forest: idk, sorry… beach??

16. dogs or cats: both!!

17. clear skies or rain: clear skies


18. cooking or eating out: getting food (specially junk food)(McDonalds is life!!)

19. spicy food or mild food: I don’t eat spicy food, but I do eat this spicy sauce powder called tajín, I love it!! I have an obsession and it’s getting out of hand!! I have like 4 regular sized bottles, a big one, and a fun sized one…

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: we don’t celebrate halloween (which sucks) so christmas 

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold
!!

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be? shape shifting (I’m copying megan’s answer lol)(we are clones, so I guess it’s ok)


23. animation or live action: both!1 I am not choosing here!! just no!!!!

24. paragon or renegade: *more crickets come in, they start getting cozy, bring out some wine bc a party is starting*

25. baths or showers: I don’t understand baths tbh (just like music and flowers…) so showers


26. team cap or team ironman: team avengers!! (I may or may not have cheated…)


27. fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy??

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: I don’t get quotes either lol I’m bad at humaning

29. youtube or netflix: both!! I’m such youtube trash tbh and netflix as well

30. harry potter or percy jackson: H A R R Y  P O T T E R !!!! (duh)

31. when do you feel accomplished: when I win
 (omg megan!! same!!)

32. star wars or star trek: S T A R  W A R S


33. paperback books or hardcover books: hardcover (I can hit so many people with them)(my friends love me ok??)

34. to live in a world without literature or without music?: music lol

35. who was the last person to make you laugh? @siriusblsck​ with her twitching eye

36: city or countryside? city

37: favorite chips? Caribas


38: pants or dresses? los pantalones


39: libraries or museums? idk, libraries I guess


40: character driven stories or plot driven stories? idk idk idk

41: fairy tales or mythology? not much into these

42. pen or pencil? PENS!! but math is done in pencil people!! 

43. toilet paper over or under? OVER IS THE RIGHT WAY!!!

Rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

tagged by @hogwarts-underground​, @lilyevcnz​, @billspotts​, @tonqs​, @shriekingshxck, @thatmarauderer :)

Relationship Status: single

Favourite Colour: black or white probably

Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick, I don’t own any makeup

Last Song I Listened To: idk

Top 3 TV Shows: I don’t have a top 3 but you can check out my common room aka tv room and see which ones I have in the faves category I guess

Top 3 Characters: don’t know (I’m bad at faves)

Top 3 Ships: HP wise Jily, Romione, Wolfstar

Books I’m Currently Reading: the same 3 books I’ve been “reading” since december lmao, What if? by Randall Monroe, The Thing Explainer by Randall monroe as well and Gravity Falls Journal 3 (such trash™)

i was tagged by @lunalocegood​

rules:

you can only say guilty or innocent.

you are not allowed to explain anything unless someone asks you.

tag 10 people.

asked someone to marry you? innocent kissed one of your friends? innocent danced on a table in a bar or tavern? innocent ever told a lie? guilty had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? innocent ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? innocent ever kissed someone of the same sex? innocent kissed a picture? innocent slept in until 5pm? guilty af fallen asleep at work or school? guilty af held a snake? innocent been suspended from school? innocent stolen something? innocent done something you regret? guilty laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? guilty caught a snowflake on your tongue? innocent kissed in the rain? innocent sat on a roof top? guilty sang in the shower? innocent been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? innocent slept naked? innocent made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? innocent been in a band? guilty (does backup singer for 1 song count?) shot a gun? innocent donated blood? innocent eaten alligator meat? innocent eaten cheesecake? guilty have/had a tattoo? innocent been too honest? guilty ruined a surprise? innocent ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after? guilty erased someone in your friends list? innocent dressed in a man’s clothes? guilty dressed in a woman’s clothes? guilty joined a pageant? innocent been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? guilty?? still have communication with your ex? innocent cheated on someone? innocent got totally drunk one night when you had an important exam the next morning? innocent a total stranger treated you by paying your fare? innocent got so angry that you cried? guilty tried to stay away from someone for their own good? innocent actually murdered someone? innocent thought about mass murder? innocent actually committed a mass murder? innocent rode in a stranger’s vehicle? guilty (do cabs count?) stalked someone? guilty had a girlfriend? innocent had a boyfriend? innocent totally drunk during a holiday? innocent

tell us one favorite character from ten shows and tag people

tagged by @njmphadora​, @zabiniblaisee​

friends: chandler bing

sherlock: sherlock

gossip girl: blair waldorf

himym: barney stinson

parks and rec: andy dwyer or april ludgate

the office: dwight schrute 

white collar: neal caffrey

pretty little liars: aria montgomery

suits: mike ross

brooklyn nine-nine: jake peralta

put your music on shuffle, list the first 9 songs and your favorite lyrics from each, then tag 9 people

i was tagged by @njmphadora​, @tonqs​, @euphemiapottcr​ @zabiniblaisee, @percweasly, @lilyevcnz, @anything-with-strawberries (I know it’s not the same game!! but I’m tired lmao)

sidenote: I’m gonna suck at this one bc I don’t listen to music :) (also I swear I have some other music ok?? my phone just really wanted me to listen to la la land and popstar lmao)

1. confucio - el trio de los tres

era un chino japonés, era el gran maestro kong, ganaba en el boliche, badmintong y ping pong, en la pista de baile no tenía comparación, ser el mejor en todo era su ilusión

2. another day of sun - la la land soundtrack

without a nickel to my name, hopped a bus, here I came, could be brave or just insane, we’ll have to see

3. mona lisa - the lonely island

mona lisa, you’re an overrated piece of shit, with your terrible style and your dead shark eyes, and a smirk like your hiding a dick what the fuck is this garbage?

4. city of stars - la la land

A look in somebody’s eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling A voice that says, I’ll be here And you’ll be alright

5. incredible thoughts - the lonely island

TV is free, but what is the cost? We have GPS and yet, we’re still lost A carrot in the desert, a camel in the garden A man with giant ears begging your pardon bonus: Imagine if a fish could play guitar And also sing, it would sound bizarre like My name is Mr. Fish These guys thoughts have granted my wish

6. rap god - eminem

But look at the accolades these skills brung me Full of myself, but still hungry I bully myself ‘cause I make me do what I put my mind to When I’m a million leagues above you Ill when I speak in tongues But it’s still tongue-and-cheek, fuck you

7. hey there delilah - plain white t’s

Hey there Delilah What’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away But girl, tonight you look so pretty Yes you do Times Square can’t shine as bright as you I swear it’s true

8. the greatest - sia

I’m free to be the greatest, I’m alive I’m free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive

9. I’m so humble - the lonely island

I’ve got it all and I’m gettin’ more But I never fall, beat 'em all Cause you know I’m so humble I’m so humble, I’m so humble I’m a superstar, I kick down the door Got the money and the girls And I’m also so humble I’m so humble I’m so humble, I’m so humble

tagged by @fleuvrdelacour​, @ameljiabones​, @kingscross​, @thatmarauderer, @opuggno

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing.

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined (kinda lol)(I’m fatty bc junk food)

I have or have had braces

There is something I would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin

I am an introvert

I like meeting new people (sometimes)

People tell me that I’m funny (More like I tell myself that I’m funny)

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship

I have a celebrity crush

I have a crush on someone I know (counting crush as my boyfriend)

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages fluently

I have made a new friend in the past year

get to know me (better!)

I was tagged by @quidditchplayer​, @kingscross​, 

Blog: @oblviqte​

(nick)Name(s): ana, anita, shitface, ana banana (I still don’t like them…)

Preferred Gender: female

Star Sign: aquarius

Height: 1.65m or 5'4”

Sexual Orientation: straight

Favourite Colour: black or white or both

Favourite Animal: all animals!!

Cat or Dog person: both!!

Favourite Fictional Characters: ugh idk lmao

Number of blankets I sleep with: one

Favourite Singer/Band: none

Dream Trip: london

Dream Job: systems engineer/ programming, coding all that jazz 

When was this blog created: december 23rd 2016

What made you create this Blog? HP IS LIFE!!

rules: list ten of your favorite people from ten different fandoms and then tag ten people!

I was tagged by @ameljiabones​

1. James Potter (HP) 2. I can’t choose an avenger, I’m sorry I love them all (MARVEL) 3. eleven (STRANGER THINGS) 4. Jake Peralta (B99) 5. Dipper and Mabel (bc they are both me af!!) (GRAVITY FALLS) 6. Marty McFly (BTTF) 7. Peeta Melark (HUNGER GAMES) 8. aslan (NARNIA) 9.  Sherlock (SHERLOCK) 10. Spencer Reid (my bby omg I love him so much why is he not real??!)(CRIMINAL MINDS)

I was tagged by @billspotts​

Star sign: Aquarius

Favourite musical artists: I’m super weird and don’t really listen to music aah

Song stuck in my head: the la laland soundtrack is stuck on my mind forever!! (pls send help)(I hum while I take exams and people look at me!! heeeellplp!!)

Last movie i watched:  idk man, the last movie I saw was probably la la land lmao (I need to watch some movies!!)

Last TV show i watched: Skam

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Lucky number: 3, 7, 618

Favourite characters: at this point just scroll up lmao

Favourite fruit: limes

Favourite season: winter or fall

Favourite colour: black and/or white

Favourite animal: all animals

Coffee, tea or hot cocoa: ICED tea

Cat or dog person: both!!

Dream trip: london!!

tagged by @kingscross​, @hufflefck

What is your name? ana

How old are you? XVI

What houses are you in? ravenclaw

What kind of blog do you run?  idk, HP/multifandom I guess??

Your patronus? rottweiler

wand core? phoenix feather

Your Pottermore house results? Ravenclaw

Ilvermorny house? Wampus

Which book is your favourite? idk

Which book is your least favourite? hbp??

Which movie is your favourite? idk

What is your least favourite movie? sfx wise ps lmao but leaving that aside, idk

What is your favourite quote?I’m not a quote person

Favourite Potter? James Potter

Favourite Weasley? Fred weasley or Charlie, Charlie is cool

Favourite Malfoy? Draco Malfoy.

Favourite Black? Sirius Black.

Favourite Marauder? Remus Lupin (bc I already put everyone else lmao)

Favourite Golden Trio? Hermione Granger.

Favourite Silver Trio? Neville Longbottom

Favourite female character? Hermione Granger

Favourite male character? James 

Favourite professor? Lupin ofc

Favourite House? Ravenclaw

Which character do you dislike the most? snape and umbridge, but snape more, fuck that guy

What ships are your favourite? Jily, Romione, Wolfstar, Remadora (but not the way it happened in the books), Deamus, flintwood, Hinny

If you could make up your own house what would be the traits?tbh, idk

What would your Amortentia smell like? permanent markers, books, lime juice, freshly baked cookies

Which do you prefer, owls, cats or a frog? Owls are more practical and all, but we would probably have a family owl and I’m trash™ for cats

Which is your favourite Harry Potter era? marauder era

5 things tag

tagged by @burkesandborgin​

5 things you’ll find in my bag (I don’t carry a bag, unless my backpack counts…)

my phone

my Gravity Falls Journal 3 

my bag of sharpies

my pencilcase

my phone’s charger

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

my cat

tajín

stuffed animals

my playing card collection

some books

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life

get a tattoo

go to london

become successful

be part of a film/play production or smth

own a cool house

5 things that make me happy

tv shows

friends

making stuff

eating lmao

HP

5 things I’m currently into

decoding/deciphering ciphers/codes that stuff

plain colors

minimalist stuff

annoying people

making people laugh (but that’s always lmao)

5 things on my to-do list

watch all the movies I haven’t watched

catching up with tv shows

making a shit-ton of moodboards

buy swimsuits/beach clothes

send college recomendation letter info to some teachers 

5 things people may not know about me

I love plantain chips

I have a birthmark on my right knee and everyone thinks it’s a scar

I have a scar on my left knee and idk when I got it lol

I love super paper mario (it might be my fave super mario game)(after smash lol)(i love smash sm!!)(someone play smash with me!!)(dibs on kirby)

I know a bunch of digits of π (pi lmao) bc I’m a nerd

🌻🐝A body positivity tag game 🐝🌻

i was tagged by @njmphadora, @lilyevcnz <33

🌻🐝Tag people you want to feel pretty af 🐝🌻

Post your some selfies where you feel cute af ~ x x x x

Something you love about your hair ~ I love my hair sm tbh like it’s pretty lmao

Something you love about your eyes ~ like you can tell it’s me?? from when I’m a baby so I like that :P

Something you love about your mouth ~ it’s not bad, it’s goot a nice mouth shape I guss

Something you love about your nose ~ I LOVE MY NOSE!! like?? it’s just asdfyhs idk, I just like it and I get complimented on it a lot and people describe me by it, idk, I love it :D

Something you love about your legs ~ they’re long and they’re not totally skinny, like they’re curvy and they have a nice shape

Something you love about your butt ~ I guess it’s ok, it has a good butt shape?? it’s good…

Something you love about your tummy ~ even though I don’t eat any fruits or veggies it’s not like super chubby, like ofc I’m not a victoria’s secret model, but I’m skinny :)

Something you love about your chest ~ lol ok, so it’s like not too big but not too small, so it’s like a good chest size 

Something you love about your height ~ I’m like regular height (but my legs are long and my torso is short so finding clothes that fit me just right is hard, but also most clothes are kinda made for my height I guess??) I can wear heels or flats and look normal??

Something you love about your weight ~ tbh for the amount of junk food I eat, I’m very happy with my weight :D

When do you feel prettiest ~ when my hair is down and it’s clean (so never lol)

When did you last feel beautiful ~ last saturday?? on tuesday?? idk lol

tag game!

i was tagged by @percweasly

rules: enter your answers then tag 10 people! use the first letter of your name to answer each question. real answers only. if the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. you cannot use the same word twice.

name: ana

a four letter word: ants

a boys name: andrew

an occupation: astrophysicist

something you wear: apron

food: apricot

something you find in a bathroom: aloe vera body lotion

a place: azerbaijan 

reason for being late: andrew garfield was getting into a bus and I had to chase him

something you shout: aaaaaaaaa!!!

movie titles: ant-man

something you drink: a soda (lmao I cheated, sorry)

an animal: ape

a type of car: audi

title of a song: another day of sun - la la land soundtrack (that music tag got to me…)

tag ten people u want to get to know better

i was tagged by @fallxng-stars name/nickname: ana, anita, shitface and ana banana (still don’t like them…)

relationship status: single favorite colors: white, black, gold, silver, and others probably last song i listened to: look at the last song from the music tag game lol

favorite tv shows: can’t choose but you can see them at my common room aka tv room first fandom: HP hobbies: reading, scrolling thru tumblr, chatting w friends, using photoshop (editing!), procrastinating, watching tv, decoding ciphers, learning how to do stuff, drawing, and more books i’m currently reading: The Thing Explainer, What If? and Gravity Falls Journal 3 worst thing i’ve ever eaten: fruits and veggies (eww) favorite place(s): home, where the wifi is 

tag game

I wish there was a store where you could just pick up a fictional character and they could be your best friend, significant other, or even arch nemesis. Copy the idea, write who your best friend, significant other, and arch nemesis would be. Then, tag 5-10 friends to do this!!

tagged by: @fleuvrdelacour

best friend(s): Hermione Granger, Fred & George, Dipper and Mabel Pines, I wanna be bff’s with everyone tbh

significant other:James Potter, Dr. Spencer Reid, Jake Peralta and I’m probably forgetting someone

arch nemesis: ughh Snape, Umbridge, and Gideon Gleeful