#also sorry to subject the masses to my handwriting AGAIN

[andromeddog]

checkups

[pit-and-the-pen]

Hiiii, you know I love angst so can I please request with prompts 22 and 45 from the angst list please? Happy or angst ending its up to you. Thank you!!

Dirty Little Secret “Which part of me wasn’t enough?”

“Would you hate me?”

Warnings; extremely brief mention of torture. Extremely brief mention of ‘Parental’ abuse. Briefly implied smut if you squint at the end. 

Word count:5k

A/n: Just get ready. Honestly. I’m so sorry for how sad this about to be

taglist:  @thoseofgreatambition @ickle-ronniekins @summer-writes @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrysweasleys: message me if you want to be added to taglist :)

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“For the last time. Please don’t call him my cousin” You pleaded as you sat in the Gryffindor common room surrounded by your friends. George and Fred sat closest to you as Harry was sitting in an armchair across the room, yet again complaining about whatever Malfoy was currently annoying him with. 

“I mean he-” George started. You shot him a glare that instantly made him recoil from you.

“They pretend the Tonks name doesn’t even exist . Why should I claim them?” You muttered out under your breath. 

“Come on, Y/n. we know you’re nothing like him.” George says, leaning over to give you a small peck on the forehead. 

“But what if I was, even a little bit? Would you hate me?” Your voice wasn’t any louder than a whisper. He just frowned at you. 

“You know what, I just remembered I have homework I need to do.” Pushing yourself off of the couch, you snatched up your school bag and headed out the portrait hole, needing to get out of the room. George just stares at the place you just were. He balls up a piece of paper and chucks it towards Harry. 

‘Nice going. You upset her.” Fred piped up. 

“You know how she gets whenever someone brings that up. Like just mentioning it enough will make her go bad.” George continued. 

“I didn’t think she would react like that.” Harry said defensively. “I’ll apologize when she comes back later. Alright?” He obviously felt bad but there wasn’t much he could do about it now. 

You had stayed in the library much longer than you planned. At first just using it as an excuse to leave the common room, but you suddenly realized how much work you had been avoiding. Your last year was not a piece of cake at all. Umbridge constantly looming over you didn’t make things any better. Quickly shoving all of your work into your bag, you ran back to the common room to make sure you didn’t get caught out after hours. The last thing you needed was another detention with the toad. 

Much to your surprise, the group was still sitting in the same position you left them in. A few have dozed off, including George. Stretched out across the couch while Fred was reading some book you couldn’t see the cover of. When you walked back through the opening, a few of them flicked their eyes over to you. 

Fred hit George’s shins and he woke with a start. “She’s back” is all he said to Gerorge. With that, you notice him give Harry an expecting look. Harry cleared his throat, getting your attention. 

“Hey I wanted to say sor-” You held up your hand. Not wanting to bring up the subject again.

“Don’t worry about it.” He tried to argue it further but you just shook your head. He seemed to get the hint that you didn’t want to talk about it anymore and let it drop. You walked over to the couch and leaned down to give George a small kiss. 

“Go to bed.” You mumbled to him with a small laugh, noticing how he was already falling back asleep. 

“Why would I do that when you’re down here?” He said, eyes seeming to be closed. Suddenly his arms wrapped around your waist and he pulled you down onto the couch with him. You let out a small scream in surprise. 

“Get a room!” Fred shouted at the pair of you. This caused the few people who had fallen asleep to wake up. 

“We already have one. What would you call this?” George joked back, leaving small pecks all over your face and neck as you laughed. You managed to swat him off of you and stood up, straightening your uniform. 

��Well with that amazing display. I think I’m going to bed.” You were breathing heavy and laughing. That was one of the things you loved most about George. He never let you go to sleep anything but perfectly happy. He gives you one more big sloppy kiss, much to the displeasure of the rest of the room, before he also heads up to bed. You should have known things were too good to last. 

The next morning, you, George and Fred walked down to breakfast together like normal. There was an eerie hush that seemed to be over the great hall. It felt like walking into a brick wall with how much tension was in the room. 

“What’s everyone on this morning? Umbridge drop a new decree?” You asked Lee as you sat down at the table. 

“Take a look.” He responded while throwing this morning's edition of the Prophet in front of you. George and Fred both peered over your shoulder as your face dropped. 

MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN

The heading read. Displayed on the front was a picture of none other than Bellatrix Lestrange, seeming to be trying to bite whoever had the displeasure of taking her picture. You threw down the paper and suddenly felt sick to your stomach. 

“Hey.” George said, grabbing your arm as you turned to stand up. Right as you were about to pull your arm out of his grasp, you noticed your family's large silvery owl swooping down. You caught a letter that was dropped down to you and it flew out of sight. Probably to the owlery. 

Immediately, you noticed your mother's large loopy handwriting on the outside. Still standing, you ripped open the envelope and read the letter. 

“I am sending Nympthadora to Hogwarts to talk to you. Go to Dumbldores office the moment you receive this. - Love mom.”

Your breath seemed to get caught in your chest. Why did your sister need to come to school? Did they think you knew something about the breakout? If anyone needed to be questioning Malfoy. And even that would be a stretch. You looked around and noticed George was staring intently at you. Silently asking you if you were okay, his hand still wrapped around your arm. 

“I..I have to go.” Was all you could manage to sputter out. 

“Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern.

“I don’t know. I’ll talk to you later okay?” You grabbed his hand and gave it a tight squeeze before grabbing your bag and all but running out of the great hall. 

On your way to the headmasters office, you ran into Professor McGonagall. 

“Ah Tonks.. I was just heading to the great hall to look for you.” She eyed the letter in your hand.

“I see you got the letter. Very well, follow me.” You were getting more scared by the second. Never in all your years at Hogwarts have you been in Dumbledore's office. To say you were terrified was an understatement. 

“Sherbert Lemon.” McGonagall said when you approached the gargoyle outside of his office. She waved her hand for you to go up and you had expected her to leave, instead she followed behind you. On the way up you started going over in your mind everything you had done lately. Nothing you could think of warranted all of this. 

Once you got to the top of the staircase, you heard a few voices talking rather loud and fast. You couldn’t make out anything, only that one of the voices was from your sister. You froze instantly, not wanting to deal with whatever was happening ahead. 

“Go on.” McGonagall sighed when she noticed you paused. You stepped into the large round room that was the main part of Dumbledore’s office and the few people in the office looked up. Along with your sister, Remus was with her. 

“Y/n!” She called out and ran to give you a giant hug. You haven't seen her since the summer and if you weren’t as scared as you were, you would have been more excited. 

“We’ll have time for that later, Tonks.” Remus said in a tense voice. She let go but stayed by your side. 

“Well. We shouldn’t wait any longer to tell you. I bet you’re wondering why you’ve been called up here?” Dumbledore asked you. You had suddenly lost your voice and could only nod. 

“You aren’t in any trouble. But that is all the good news I have, I’m afraid.” He paused and gave you a smile that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “With the recent breakout from Azkaban, Andromeda decided it was time to tell you the truth. Tonks? Do you want to be the one to tell her?” When he said that, Tonks grabbed your hand and gave it three little squeezes, the two of yours sign for ‘I love you’. She cleared her throat

“This really isn’t easy to tell you. Okay.” She took a deep breath and turned to you. “A few years before Bellatrix went to Azkaban. The family discovered she had a child. The only problem was no one knew where they were. Then she was arrested and that’s when they found..Found you.” 

Suddenly you felt very light headed. You had to have heard her wrong. Tonks had said they found you. 

“You had been obviously neglected. Stuck in a small nursery and looked after by only a few house elves. That’s when mom agreed to take you in. Narssica and Lucius were still under heavy suspicion to be working with you-know-who and didn’t need more connections to that side, plus she had only just had Draco. The decision was made not to tell you because she was never really a mother to you. And up until last night, we never thought she would be out of Azkaban.” She looked at you, her eyes suddenly full of tears. She was expecting you to say something but your brain had suddenly stopped functioning. You could only stare at her blankly. 

“The reason why we’re telling you this now, y/n” Remus started. You had forgotten he was there up until he spoke. Your eyes flickered over to him. “Is, since you are of age now, the order is concerned she might come and collect you.” That seemed to do the trick.

“And do what?” Your voice was tiny. 

“We don’t know. We know Voldemort lost a large amount of followers so maybe to try to recruit you.” 

“I would never do that!” You interrupted. He held his hand up to stop you.

“We all know that. You’ve been interested in the order since this summer. We’ve all seen it. But she isn’t known for playing fair. We just need you to be on guard.” He seemed to sag down after saying this, as if a great weight was placed on his shoulders. 

“We just want you safe. If mom didn’t think it was better for you to know, we wouldn’t tell you. But everyone decided it’s better to hear it from people who love and care about you then hear it from her if she got the chance.” Tonks’s voice was soothing. Or at least it should have been but you were still numb from shock. She grabbed the sides of your face. 

“Don’t think for a second that this changes anything. You’re still my sister and I still love every bit of you.” When she said that, it broke whatever you were holding onto and tears started falling from your face. You vaguely processed the others shifting out of the main room. 

“I know your head is probably going to a million different places at once. But this doesn’t change the way anyone looks at you.” She said.

“Did everyone know?” You managed to get out between sobs. 

“Everyone that needed to know, knew. All of the Order. But again, no one looks at you any differently.” You nodded. Whipping away the tears as you started to calm down. It didn’t change anything. But that nagging voice in the back of your head only shouted all of your worst fears at you. You’re no different. Evil is in your blood, not just your family tree. If you’re her kid, then some of the worst blood is in you too.

“Are you okay?” Tonks asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“As okay as I can be.” You say with a slight laugh. You wipe away a few more tears and give her a small smile. 

“You can write to me if you need anything. Even just to talk okay. Anything you need.” She says as she gives you another big hug. This time, you squeeze her back until someone else clears their throat. 

“I do hate to say it but we have to leave.” Remus chimed in. Tonks gave you a look and you nodded. 

“Okay. Seriously write me if you need anything.” Tonks says as Remus grabs her hand. The two of them leave in a ploof of green fire. 

“Well if that’s all, Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, I’ll leave.” You say, your mind still playing catch up. McGonagall gives you a sad look and they both say goodbye as you walk out of the office as fast as you can while still being polite. 

You all but run back to the Gryffindor common room trying to beat the tears threatening to start up again.  You barely make it back to your bed before you started crying. Everything you had been scared about fresh in your mind. There really was nothing good about you in the end. How you ended up in Gryffindor was suddenly all you can think of. After a little bit you had cried yourself out to the point of falling asleep.

It must have been a couple hours, you woke up with a start as the image of you in dark black robes burned out of your mind. The sky was just getting dark, making the dorm pink with the sunlight. When you walked up to the sink near your bed, you saw how puffy and red your face was. Sighing, you splashed some cold water on your face before you walked out into the common room. 

“Y/n!” George bellowed when he saw you. “There you are. You disappeared earlier and I haven’t seen you since.” His face fell when he noticed your face. “What’s wrong.” He whispered when you sat down next to him. Of course he would be able to tell right away something was off. You shook your head. 

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” And surprisingly he dropped it. You really did want to tell him but not in the crowded common room. 

Days went by and you kept coming up with ways to avoid the topic. It was always the wrong time, it was too crowded, someone interrupted you.Umbridge's rule of boys and girls not being within six feet of each other is also not helping at all. You can’t tell if it was a good thing or not at this point. The longer you went without telling him the more nervous you got, having already come up with a million different ways he’ll react. 

You haven't meant for it to just come tumbling out. Not like that, not in the mean, clipped tone that it did. The two of you stood facing each other, eyes wide and round. He took a second to process the words you had just shouted at him. 

“This is a sick joke right?” His words make your world shatter. You suddenly can’t find it in yourself to meet his eyes as you shake your head. 

“You..You didn’t think this was important to tell me?” He ran his hands through his hair. “Did you really only just find out? Or have you been lying to me this whole time?” You flinch a little at his tone.

“I only just found out the other day. I promise I didn’t li-” 

“You know what.” He started, interrupting you. “I don’t even want to hear it. You swear up and down youre so much different from the rest of your family. And I believed it because I mean, look at Tonks. Look at who I thought was your family. But her?” He spat out. “How can you look at Neville ever again? How can you sit in the same common room as him and just pretend everything is okay?” You felt the tears run down your face. No one looks at you any differently. Tonks’ words from the other day echo in your head. You knew she had been wrong. The only person whose opinion of you really mattered saw you from what you really were. 

“I’m still me.” You manage to say in between sobs. “I’m still the same person you fell in love with. George please.” You grab at his robes as he starts to leave the room. 

He freezes and looks at where your hand grabbed him, like it burned him, like it made him dirty. 

“That’s the worse part.” Was all he said as he pried your hands off of him and gave you a little shove backwards. The action taking you by such shock, you almost lost your balance. You started up at him wildly, tears streaming down your face. A sob of his name left your lips but you could barely understand it and he was already gone. You sunk to your knees. “Which part of me wasn’t good enough?” You screamed at nobody in particular. You never made it back to the common room that night. 

You also never got another chance to smooth things over. To explain to him the way you had planned. The twins set off their bound-to be-infamous fireworks display the next day and they were gone.

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You didn’t know why you came. A small part of you deep down knew why. It had been so long since you had been wanted. Since someone had asked you to be a part of anything. The halls of the manor were as cold as you remember. The few times you had come here as a small child played in your head. Back when the Malfoys were still trying to prove they were good by letting you come over. You now realized it was because you fell into what they deemed worthy of being in the house, and that’s why Tonks haven't been invited. 

Narcissa was still leading you through the house when you seemed to come to your senses. What the hell were you doing?  You didn’t want to be in the house. You wanted to be at the burrow with Fred and George. They don’t want you, remember? He could see what you really are. 

You ignored the voice and focused on how the hallways never seemed to end. The small shadows of house elves scurrying out of your way was enough to make you sick. 

“In here.” Narcissa said when you got to a random room. You took a deep breath before she suddenly grabbed your arm. 

“Think about what you’re doing. Think very hard. Say the word and I’ll let you turn around right now and no one will know. But walk in there and I can’t help you.” She was dead serious. The voice of a concerned person. It warmed you a little bit. 

“I just want to talk to..to her.” You say as convincingly as you can.

“It’s your life. I’m damned one way or another. You on the other hand, you have a choice.” 

“And right now I’m choosing to try and talk to her. I’ll figure it out from there.” She seemed to sag down but composed herself and announced something to the room. You heard a high pitch laughter that chilled you to your spine. She nodded to you and put a should- be- comforting hand on your back as you walked into the room. 

You swear the temperature dropped ten degrees as you walked in. The bedroom was big, like a cavern. A high ceiling with very little furniture in contract to the sheer size of it. A small part of you was surprised to see a bed, thinking hanging from the ceiling like the bat she was, would have been more appropriate. 

“Hi, mom” You said in a dead voice and her laughter echoed off of the walls. High pitched and nailing you to the floor. 

“So they told you after all. How sweet.” Her voice didn’t match her appearance. It was a soprano baby voice, that was almost worse than the gravelly voice you thought she would have. 

She stood up and walked closer to you. Every inch of your body was screaming to run but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. Eventually she was standing right in front of you. Her hand reached out to twirl a piece of your hair. 

“Now why did you really come here? I hope you’re smart enough to know I’m not going to start singing you lullabies.” That seemed to be the very question you were asking yourself now. Why had you come? A deep part of you just wanted to have a normal family. Bellatrix was far from that. 

She suddenly grabbed your left arm. “Could it be something to do with this? I don’t think the Dark Lord has sunk low enough to need someone raised like you were though.” She looks over to her sister who is still standing in the corner of the room, tense as a board. “What do you think Cissy?” She says with a slight pout. 

“No.” You said, shaking your hand out of her grasp. “I needed to come here to see what I’m not. I was so afraid of becoming like you, even before I knew, I had to see. And you know what I learned?” You suddenly felt brave. Like everything had finally clicked into place.

“Aw. What would that be?” 

“We make our own choices.” Your next moves were very calculated. You had a few seconds at best as you pulled your wand out of your cloak. 

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Every part of your body hurt. Like you had been in a particularly nasty game of quidditch. You went to open your eyes but instantly shut them at the pain that radiated through your skull. 

“Just let me see her.” A voice called from outside of the room you were in. 

“Why? So you can hurt her even more? George just leave it. She’s not even awake yet.” You recognized the voice as Tonks. Wait if she said George, does that mean? You peak your eyes open just a tiny bit and notice the familiar surroundings of the burrow. How did you end up here? You didn’t remember a lot past the first move. Everything had gone by so fast. 

The door clicked open then shut and you heard, who you assumed to be, Tonks huff. You tried to sit up a little bit.

“Oh. You're up!” She was at your side in a second. “If you weren’t so banged up I would beat you right here.” Her voice held no malice despite her words. 

“Do you want to tell me what the hell happened?” She all but screamed.

You winced at the volume but tried to sit up a little more. She helped you prop up on a pillow. 

“Well.” Your voice was raspy. “I..I don’t know what I was thinking.” You had never felt more stupid in your life. What did you expect to happen? You took a deep breath and told Tonks as much as you could remember. She just stared and you blankly. Looking for something to say. All of a sudden you found arms wrapped around you. 

“You are such an idiot. Do you know that?” Her voice shook with tears. “I guess that explains some stuff too.” She seemed to be talking to herself. “God I could kill that boy right now.” 

“You came here in the middle of the night, bleeding. Half conscious. It was a miracle you were even able to apparate in the state you were. Molly was able to patch you up but you might have a few scars.” She paused. “Well, one really.” With that she pulled up your left sleeve and your heart sunk.

“It’s not what you think. She started the process but didn’t finish it.” You stared at the bumped skin that was clearly a hastily carved dark mark. Looking at that hurt more than anything. Sure it wasn’t the real thing, you needed to fully commit to be able to get one and from what you’ve heard, it’s not a pleasant experience. Knowing you have any bit of that on your body makes you fight the urge to be sick. Tonks rubs your shoulder. 

“I’ll give you some time to process everything.” She gives you a quick peck on the forehead and closes the door softly behind her. 

You start to drift off when there's a small knock and the door creaks open just a crack. You’re half expecting it to be Tonks. But in all reality, the face you’ve wanted to see the most since that awful day greets you. 

He awkwardly stands in the entryway of the door. You can’t meet his eyes, but move over slightly to show he’s welcomed to sit on the bed. The only thing he does is shift his body weight so he’s leaning against the wall directly across from the bed, and gives the door a soft nudge close. 

The silence hangs heavy in the air. All the words you’ve wanted to say hang on the tip of your tongue, you try to hold them back. For once, his face is unreadable as you finally look up at him. You threaten to melt on the spot right then and there, realizing immediately you haven’t lost an ounce of love for this man. If anything, from the dull throb in your chest, you probably love him more somehow. 

A deep sob touches your ears and you suddenly realize he’s crying. 

“George.” You start but he holds up a hand. 

“This is all my fault.”He walks towards the bed and sits down in the space you gave him. “Tonks just came down and chewed me out” 

“She-” Once again he interrupts you. 

“I deserve it. I explained to her what happened because the plan was for you to leave Hogwarts with us that day. That’s what I had even dragged you into that room to tell you.” He laughed a little, not his usual laugh, this was stiff and cold. 

“I was stupid enough to let my own prejudices get in the way of everything that I felt.” He started. 

“I don’t blame you” Your voice was small. You were fighting back tears at seeing how upset he was. 

“No. See that’s the issue.” He grabbed your hands and looked at you for the first time. “I made you think that you were different. Unloveable to the point where you felt like you had to go to Death Eaters to feel like you belonged. I regretted what I said the moment I had time to think clearly.” He took a deep breath. “I was so angry at the idea of it, I never thought to think of how you might be feeling. You never seemed so afraid of me as when I got mad at you. Merlin” He took a deep breath. “I would rather die than ever see that look on your face, let alone know that I put it there.” He moves one of his hands to your cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb in the process. “I love you more than anything y/n. I was a stupid git and I’m more sorry than you can ever imagine. I don’t deserve you accepting my apology but I’m here if you still want. I’m here no matter what.” His words took a few seconds to sink in. 

“You know what I realized?” You said after a few seconds of silence. His face showed he was taking in every word you said. “I was so afraid of becoming like the rest of my family, I never stopped to think that I had a choice in it too. I could never be like them because I’m not them. I mean look at Sirius. If he can be raised in that family and still be as good as he was.” You paused. “I’m good because I want to be. Because there is nothing that is black and white. And most importantly I am not my mother.” George just stayed silent. You took another deep breath. 

“You hurt me more than I can ever explain. And I do still love you. I love you more than anything in this world.” You smiled. “But boy do you owe me a lot of kisses to make up for this.” George sat still for a couple seconds, fully processing your words. Then a giant smile formed on his face. His arms wrapped around you and ripped you up from the bed. Spinning you as you yelped it pain. 

In an instant, his lips crashed to yours, swallowing whatever sound you made. He was everywhere all at once. Hands gently exploring and your hands fused into his hair. He touched a spot that made you wince particularly hard and he separated from you just the slightest bit. 

“Marry me.” He said, panting. You laughed, a fuller laugh than you had in months. “I’m serious. I should have asked you that day.” You just wrapped a hand in his hair. 

“After all of this is over. I just might take you up on that offer Weasley.” He smiled once again before reconnecting your lips. You ignored the pain. After all, he had a lot to make up for.

[writethehousedown]

Got me losin' all my cool (Crygi) - Mar

A/N: First fic I’ve done in years! Any feedback is welcome.

The sun shone brightly through the window, directly into Crystal’s eyes. It fed the headache she could feel growing with every squeak of chalk on the blackboard, every droning word that left her teacher’s mouth. Ten a.m. and she was already done with school.

Crystal was holding a pen, but every time she thought she understood the lesson enough to reflect it on paper, the teacher moved on to a new concept and Crystal’s fragile understanding crumbled down. Three attempts later, Crystal gave up on the entire lesson and resigned herself to relying on someone else’s notes. She studied her classmates, trying to figure out who would be willing to help her out. She didn’t really have friends in the class, but maybe…

Crystal looked a few desks over to the girl sitting at the front of the class, hair gathered up neatly in a ponytail, face propped on her left fist. Her pen hadn’t stopped moving since class started.

Gigi Goode was not her friend. Up until the previous week, their relationship was limited to the moments when Crystal would feel brave enough to wave at her and Gigi would wave back, giving her a half-smile so pretty that Crystal had to look away every time. That was it. Crystal was pretty sure the girl didn’t even know her name.

But then.

Then, the class had got paired up for an essay, and God had decided to be funny.

“You’ll need to write fifteen hundred words, more or less, including the conclusion,” said the teacher. “Now, for the teams, uhh… left side of the class, write your names in pieces of paper, then put them in this jar, c’mon.” At that, he grabbed the chalk jar off his desk and emptied it, then handed it to the nearest student to pass around.

Crystal tried to be discreet, but she couldn’t stop sneaking glances at the front of the class, where Gigi Goode was ripping off a bit of paper from her notebook. Crystal knew better than to hope. There were twenty three people in her class, and she had twelve potential partners, which meant… eight percent? She had an eight-ish percent chance of getting paired with the girl she couldn’t stop looking at. It was a very low number.

Do I even want her as my partner?, she thought. At the time, Gigi was a nice distraction during a boring class, something to look forward to on Wednesday mornings. By spending time with her, by having their first real conversation, really, Crystal risked ruining a perfectly nice crush. What if Gigi was secretly mean? Although she didn’t seem like the type. Crystal had seen her happily chatting with Jan Mantione many times. Jan was too kind to befriend a mean girl.

God, what if she was boring? That would be depressing. If Gigi was the type to call everything a “meme”, or if she tried to show her a joke she found on Instagram that Crystal had seen on Twitter six months ago… Maybe they wouldn’t have anything to talk about, maybe Crystal would forget everything she knew about the subject and look stupid, maybe-

Her thoughts were interrupted by the kid behind her tapping her gently on the shoulder with the name jar. Crystal smiled her thanks and took the jar, and a folded strip of paper from it. It’s no big deal. It’s no big deal. She unfolded the name, and… oh.

Gigi had really pretty handwriting.

  Crystal noticed that her classmates were moving around and finding their partners, so she stood up and walked to the front of the class, where Gigi was looking around, waiting to be approached.

“Umm, Gigi?”

“Crystal, hey!” said Gigi. Okay, so she did know her name.

“I got you. Your name, I mean.” Smooth.

“Oh, good! I was hoping I’d get you.”

“Really?” asked Crystal, a little shocked.

“Really. You seem cool, and I know you have a high grade in this class. You’re my perfect partner,” she explained, again flashing her million watt smile.

What the fuck… what the fuck…

“Oh, uh, great, then! Great…” Crystal trailed off, but she thought she deserved a medal for even replying, at all. She looked at Gigi and noticed the girl was staring at her, expectantly.

“What?” she asked, dumbly.

Gigi smiled and leaned in.

“The essay?”

“Oh my God, right. So, how do you wanna tackle this? Library after school?”

“Let’s go to my place, instead. My mom can pick us up and you can stay for dinner, if we need more time.”

Gigi didn’t ask questions, she just laid out plans and expected the masses to follow. And they did.

“Oh, sure, that sounds good. I, um, should I give you my number?” Nice, Crystal.

“Yes! Here,” said Gigi, handing over her phone.

Crystal typed her number under the name “Crystal” and saved the contact. Then, she went back and added “(from school)”.

The bell rang and Gigi started gathering her things. “Meet me in the parking lot at the end of the day, okay?”

“See you then,” said Crystal. There was really no denying Gigi’s smile and directness, her unwavering confidence.

In her defence, the plan worked. Gigi’s mom was funny and loud, throwing quips back and forth with her daughter and making Crystal feel at ease the moment she got in the car. The Goode house was big enough that the girls could discuss their ideas loudly when they got excited (which happened often), and play music at top volume (Gigi had an actual CD player, and The Cranberries’ entire discography, to Crystal’s delight.)

They ended up working together for five hours, which gave Crystal plenty of opportunity to make a fool of herself, and she more than delivered. But Gigi just kept laughing at everything that came out of her mouth, and after a while, Crystal understood that she was being laughed with, not at. Gigi genuinely found her funny.

Crystal did end up staying for dinner, even though their work was finished. Crystal and Gigi set the table in perfect coordination, as if they did it every day, and Crystal felt warm at the notion and dumb at the feeling.

You talked today for the first time. Calm down, lesbian.

But the Goode family didn’t make it easy either, with their welcoming attitude and the way they teased Crystal like they’d known her forever. She felt comfortable there, and once her dad picked her up, all she could think about was that she wished the essay had taken longer.

A week later, they were back at square one, like nothing had happened. Gigi still waved in the hallways and Crystal maybe held eye contact for longer but that was just scratching the surface of what Crystal wanted. Namely, to be asked out. But she’d fucked up monumentally by not getting Gigi’s number when she had the chance, and Crystal’s suave move of putting her contact in Gigi’s phone had gone to waste, because Gigi had not texted her. Crystal was not about to talk to her in person about the weather or whatever people talked to their crushes about. High school sports. Locker decoration or something.

Asking for notes, however, was a logical and not at all suspicious reason to approach someone. The bell rang, people started leaving. This mission had a ticking clock. She could do it, she could talk to Gigi as long as she had a goal and an opening line thought out. She was doing this, she was getting out of her chair, she was walking to the front of the class and it was a bad idea Crystal turn back turn back turn-

And she was at Gigi’s desk.

Gigi noticed her and slammed her notebook shut with a pencil still inside.

“Hi, Crys!”

Any weirdness Crystal may have noticed on the girl was completely swept from Crystal’s mind by that nickname.

“Hey, Geeg.” That’s good, that’s casual. Crystal leaned against the empty desk next to Gigi’s. “So, I completely blanked the entire class. I wanted to ask if you’d lend me your notes?”

Gigi’s face fell a little. “Oh.”

“Only if you want, of course!” Crystal was quick to add, “You totally don’t have to, you probably need your notebook, and- forget I asked.”

“No, no, Crystal, it’s not that. It’s just, I- I also didn’t take any notes, so. Seems we’re on the same boat, ha ha.”

“Oh, sorry!” Hold on. “I saw you writing a lot, were you just fooling Mister Crawley?”

Gigi looked down to her pencils and whispered, “No, I was, uh, drawing.”

“You draw?” Crystal asked, suddenly excited. “I love drawing, I draw all the time!”

“I know that,” whispered Gigi.

“What?”

“I said, I don’t like this drawing, really, so I don’t wanna show it.”

“I feel like that all the time about my drawings. I like to think it’s because I’m improving, but who knows!”

“You get it,” said Gigi.

“Well, do you wanna go get someone else’s notes? Since we both missed the class.”

Gigi visibly perked up. “Sure! Let’s go.”

When Crystal turned to go get her things, she kicked Gigi’s desk and her pencils and notebook fell to the ground, open at the page where Gigi had left a pencil. The pencil rolled under the teacher’s desk, but Crystal didn’t notice because her eyes were fixed on the drawings on the page.

She recognized those lips. She recognized that nose, she recognized that hair.

She recognized herself.

Gigi dropped to the floor and scurried to close the notebook.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, clutching her notebook to her chest and not looking up.

Crystal lowered herself to the floor and laid her hand in between their bodies.

“Can I see?”

Gigi’s head shot up and she stared at Crystal in shock.

“You weren’t meant to see that.”

“I mean, you don’t have to show me, but from what I could see, you made me really cute,” said Crystal, smiling wide.

Gigi seemed to pick up on Crystal’s good intentions and smiled back. “I just draw what I see,” she said, handing Crystal the open notebook.

“Cheeky.”

Crystal studied the drawing, running her finger through the lines. It really was good.

“You got my hair exactly right. Even the color.”

“You’re being weirdly chill about this. Most people would freak out, I assume.”

Crystal shrugged. “No need to freak out over this. I’m honestly flattered, I didn’t realize you spend so much time looking at me,” she teased.

Gigi laughed and took her notebook back. “Shut up! I don’t, you just have a memorable face.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment!”

“It is.”

The girls stared at each other for a moment, until Crystal broke the silence.

“Although, you missed my freckles, and the eyes are too big. You should look at me some more, maybe after school at the milkshake place down the block?”

Gigi blinked a few times.

“That was smooth as fuck. I was hoping you’d have the gall to ask me out sometime this year,” she teased.

“You know, I was nervous to do it before, but you really showed your hand today, so I figured it’s my turn to embarrass myself.”

“Fuck you,” said Gigi, with the biggest smile.

“Sure. Not in school, though. We’ll see how this date goes.”

[femme-blem]

100 Follower Raffle Prize: Nephenee/Elincia

It’s finally here!! I want to thank the winner (who seems to have moved blogs - please contact me if you'd like me to tag you somewhere else!) for requesting this universe brain ship for their raffle prize. I had a lot of fun writing it and accidentally went all out so this ended up a LOT longer than 800 words lmao...if you're gonna create a new relationship tag on ao3 you might as well go hard!! I’d also like to thank @glitchsix for beta reading it and providing excellent critique 👌

hurt/comfort, injury, tw for violence

.......

Nephenee held the envelope high above her head as she weaved her way past her siblings to her ma's room, away from curious eyes and dangerously grabby hands. Only after locking the door did she take a good, long look at it. It looked far too nice to open - white, crisp, edged in gold leaf and sealed with wax stamped with the royal crest. Breaking the seal nearly felt like a sin, but her eagerness to hear from Elincia again outweighed her reverence.

Her heart skipped with some strange excitement as she took in every word of the queen's soft, elegantly curved handwriting. There was so much that needed to be done to return the kingdom to its former glory, and for that, the newly-crowned ruler knew she needed the full support of her people. So, Elincia, gathering her knights and closest companions, made plans to set off on a diplomatic journey to prove her worth as a leader by meeting her subjects and supporting the reconstruction efforts.

Nephenee firmly believed Elincia could. Despite their drastically different stations, the queen had always been remarkably kind to her during their time with Ike's band of mercenaries. She seemed to go out of her way to reach out to the shy villager, encouraging her to open up bit by bit, and with time they went from soldier and liege to something closer - Nephenee couldn't quite say what it was, herself. She held no notions of being able to remain as they were once the Mad King was defeated and tried to remain guarded, but leaving Elincia hurt all the same.

But now, holding the summons in her hands, Nephenee wondered if she'd been wrong on that assumption. Perhaps Elincia thought about Nephenee as much as Nephenee thought about her, even months after their farewells. Perhaps they could go back to those days in some way, not to the constant fighting for country and survival, but to the talks by the campfire late at night, the promises that they would return safe at the end of the day. Nephenee often wished she'd been bolder - even back then, she'd been so worried over screwing up or looking foolish that she always remained careful and professional in their interactions. Perhaps, this time...

Nephenee stopped and cursed herself. How could she think that way? She was talking about escorting the queen of all of Crimea, not reconnecting with an old friend at a tea shop. This was a serious task, one that Nephenee was honored to have been chosen for. She was a proven soldier being called back to duty. Nothing more.

.......

Nephenee accepted the call, and a month later was standing stiffly among the rest of the soldiers outside of the royal barracks. Now that she was here, surrounded by all these fancy capital guards, she wasn't sure she'd fit in much. No, she was certain she wouldn't fit in. She was surprised that she had made it in the first place; someone like her couldn't just waltz right up to Castle Crimea, could they? Surely someone would notice the hick in worn armor tromping over to the palace and see that she didn't belong; a guard would stop her in her tracks before she ever made it there, yell at her, send her back home-

But none of that happened. The guards had parted at the castle's gate before Nephenee could even pull the letter out and waved her inside. She was endlessly thankful for not having to explain herself, but knowing that she was expected by the castle staff was intimidating in its own way. What did they expect from her? And what about the rest of the soldiers going on the mission - would they just see her as a burden? Would they resent the no-name country girl who was simply handed a spot in the queen's entourage without having gone through any of the rigorous training the knights required?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of beating wings. The rumble of conversation died immediately as every knight stood at attention. Nephenee followed their gazes only to have her breath catch at the sight of Elincia descending from the skies on her pegasus, orange-and-cream regalia shining in the morning light. A rush of wind tousled Nephenee's hair as hooves touched earth and wings fluttered to a resting position. Elincia looked...different, somehow. Just as stunning as Nephenee had remembered, but with a surer air, more confident in her position. Or at least better at acting like it.

Elincia scanned her crowd of vassals, perking up at a glimpse of deep green hair among them. Her eyes locked with Nephenee's, and she smiled, and Nephenee felt the air escape her lungs.

.......

They marched for weeks, traveling from town to town to address crowds and offer aid. Next to the Crimean Royal Knights, Nephenee felt like an awkward bumpkin again, but she'd be damned if she let it on. The queen had chosen her for this mission, and she wasn't about to prove her majesty wrong.

Not that she actually saw much of her. She only caught glimpses at most: Elincia's head peeking over the masses that gathered for her speeches, her back as she lead the march, the flutter of her coattails that were the only thing visible between the guards that circled her near-constantly. Nephenee told herself not to get her hopes up about having a conversation with her, let alone the chance to say howd—hello, but she couldn't help but be shocked over how different it was here than with the militia or the Greil Mercenaries.

Those were the thoughts that nagged at Nephenee as she poked at the logs of the campfire, content to sit alone during the night watch and mull over the situation.

"Nephenee."

She shot up at the sound of her name, despite the shivers coursing through her veins. "Elin—Queen Elincia," she corrected, bowing.

"Come, now. You don't have to use such formalities with me. We're closer than that, after all."

We are? Nephenee straightened. "O-of course, your m—Elincia."

A troubled look crossed the queen's face, and a pang of anxiety struck through Nephenee, afraid she'd already done something wrong. "I deeply apologize for not speaking to you before now. Even at camp, it's difficult to get away from my duties."

"You ain't got—don't have anything to apologize for. I understand."

She said that, but Nephenee didn't understand, not really. Why should the queen worry so much over offending her in the first place? But Elincia seemed relieved, and that was fine enough.

"Would you like to accompany me on a walk?" Elincia asked. "It's such a lovely night, and I'd love the chance to catch up."

"A-alone?" The question tumbled out before Nephenee could stop it. The queen couldn't just run off with some hayseed, could she?

"I don't believe I'd be able to slip away with so little protection without raising alarm. There will be a few guards watching over from a distance. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable...would you mind terribly?"

The thoughtfulness and concern Elincia was showing her was nearly too much to handle. More than she deserved.

Nephenee swallowed. "Don't mind at all."

.......

Nephenee's boots pounded against the dirt. Her breathing came in quick, heavy gasps, only barely able to get out her message as she approached the camp.

"Bandits! The Queen's, huff, she's in danger!"

Most bandits would have the good sense to leave a company of the Queen and her highly-trained, thoroughly-armed retainers alone. But this particular band was too large and too opportunistic to pass up the chance.

They came all at once, an endless stream of barbarians charging from within the dense forest and behind rolling hills. They had the party beat in sheer numbers, and even the most highly trained guardsmen were having difficulty keeping up with their brute force.

If it kept like this, they would be overwhelmed in a matter of moments. Elincia looked towards her and yelled something about reinforcements and alerting the camp. Ever the obedient soldier, Nephenee had turned and run.

Every head whipped towards Nephenee's cry before the camp exploded in a flurry of motion. Some shot to their feet and charged past her, weapons already drawn. Others clanked as they heaved their armor on, preparing for the fight. They saddled their horses, grabbed supplies. It wasn't fast enough. They needed to leave now.

Nephenee's lungs ached; her legs felt weak. But she couldn't stop here, couldn't wait for the rest of her allies, couldn't allow everyone else to fight while she caught her breath. Not when others might lose the opportunity.

Not while Elincia was still out there.

Nephenee tightened her grip on her spear and charged towards the fight once again. Her body complained with every step forward, but she didn't falter. She had to get back, just a little more-

A scream. Cold ran through Nephenee's veins at the sound. There, in the space between two brigands, Nephenee saw as deeply stained cream-and-sunset dropped to the earth.

The sounds of battle were dampened in her ears. Any ache she may have felt was gone - she couldn't really feel anything. Not rage, or sorrow, or the way her hands gripped the lance so tightly the handle threatened to break. There was nothing but the single-minded drive to take Elincia as far from the fighting as possible.

She barely registered the men charging at her with blades raised high, but the spearhead found its mark all the same. There was a dull thud against her upper back followed by a warmth that should have been worrying, but Nephenee pressed on, unable to give the sensation a second thought.

The action around her had slowed by the time she reached Elincia's form; the rest of the army must have arrived and forced the fiends back. Nephenee didn't care to check. As gingerly as the coursing adrenaline allowed, she hoisted Elincia across her shoulders and trudged back in the direction of camp. Every bump and dip in the earth jostled her charge, causing Nephenee to wince. Or maybe the wincing had something to do with the tightness near her shoulder and the sting in her legs.

Her captain suddenly came into her vision. The paleness of his face and shock etched into his features finally stirred an emotion: guilt. Failure. She had allowed her—their—liege to come to harm, and whatever happened next was entirely her fault. He mouthed something and gestured to someone else, and she felt as Elincia’s weight was lifted off of her. Strangely, the leader of the Royal Knights didn't move, putting a hand to Nephenee's shoulder. Mouthing something else she couldn't make out.

"...phenee? Nephenee?"

Shades of blue and gold blurred together, and Nephenee collapsed.

.......

Consciousness came slowly—her thoughts, even slower. She shifted and immediately regretted the movement, which sent a fresh wave of pain through her upper back and a deep ache everywhere else. There was some movement next to her, followed by a light and a soft warmth that eased the sharpness of the feeling.

Nephenee let her head loll to the side, squinting at the figure and blinking until her eyes were able to focus on verdant green hair and warm copper eyes. She frowned hazily, not fully comprehending the sight.

Then it all came back.

Nephenee shot upright in the cot, a motion Elincia mirrored out of pure surprise and a justifiable amount of worry. Nephenee's body fiercely protested, but aside from a split-second wince, she didn't seem to register it.

"Yer majesty! Are you feelin' all right? I s-saw you fall, and, I, um..."

"Nephenee! Nephenee, I'm perfectly fine," she hastily replied in an attempt to calm her. A hand against her good shoulder gently nudged her back against the sheets. Nephenee allowed it, the fading adrenaline leaving her too tired and sore to do much but comply. "Please, rest. The fighting is long over. You needn't concern yourself over me."

Nephenee pressed her lips in a tight line, clearly torn between the desire to obey her liege and to serve her. "You're sure you weren't hurt none?"

"I...wouldn't say that," she said slowly, trying not to upset her any further. "I was injured, yes, but not nearly as severely as you. We're not sure how you managed to carry me that far with such a deep axe wound."

So that's what that was. "It was nothin', honest."

"But it was. Your efforts saved us, Nephenee. All of us. And we...I was so worried."

As Elincia's voice cracked, so did Nephenee's heart. She reached out and hesitantly put a hand on Elincia's arm, rubbing it with her thumb in a way she hoped was comforting. In truth, she was blown away by the concern Elincia was showing her, but she chalked that up to her soft-hearted nature. "Hey, I might be a little banged up, but I ain't too-"

Nephenee's brain caught up with the rest of her as she realized with horror how casually she was talking to the queen. Her hand froze.

"I-I mean...I may be, uh, slightly worse for wear, milady, but..."

Nephenee's face heat up as she fumbled with her words. Elincia looked at her with confusion before the realization of what Nephenee was trying to do dawned on her. She giggled through the last of her sniffles, wiping her face to try and retain some shred of composure.

"There's our Nephenee," she chuckled. "You know, I've always found that accent of yours terribly cute."

And like that, her thought process screeched to a halt once more. "You, uh. You do?"

Elincia nodded. "I'll admit that I missed hearing it during our time apart. I thought to invite you because of your bravery and resilience, but...in truth, I'd hoped we could spend more time together." She sighed. "I knew it could be dangerous, with how unstable the kingdom is. And you've fought so hard to save it already. For me to ask you to leave your village once more, for my own selfish desires...you must think me cruel."

"I don't understand. You're one o' the most tender-hearted people I've ever met. Anybody'd be glad to fight for ya."

"I don't want you to fight for me, Nephenee. I can't bear the thought of you coming to harm on my behalf. I tried to protect you during the battle, and still, I only caused you pain."

"Protect...me? What would you wanna do that for?"

"Because I care for you." Elincia's other hand came to rest upon Nephenee's. "You may consider it foolish, but truly, I...I love you, Nephenee."

Looking into those eyes, hearing those words, Nephenee nearly forgot to breathe. She wondered if she was still out cold and dreaming. But the feeling of Elincia's warmth and presence, that expression of anxiety mixed with hopefulness...those couldn't be made up.

“The feelin’s mutual. I love you, Elincia. Reckon I always have, but I never dreamed…”

Elincia gently pressed herself against Nephenee's good side, placing her arms low enough to ensure the bandages wouldn’t be disturbed. Nephenee brought one arm around her, embraced her tightly in return, and vowed to never leave her side again.

[reynolds-number]

Day 10 of @hayley-studies‘s 30 Day Studyblr Challenge!

Day 10. Who is your favorite teacher/professor and why?

Here’s part 2 of this post. Day 10 college edition. Again, it would be pretty rude to post pics of my profs on the internet, so have some of the notes taken from their classes instead. I picked a professor from each of the main subjects in my chem eng program: physics, math, and chemistry. 

From the physics area, top left and top center, is my cheat sheet for Prof. A’s dynamics course. I’m not gonna lie, I have a major crush on the man. Mainly bc he’s a sweetie pie who makes chocolate and uses memes to remind us to do our homework. Also, his handwriting is flawless. 

For math, top right, the cheat sheet for Prof. C’s linear algebra final. It’s messier than the ones for dynamics, probably because i made it the night before the test lol. Anyway. Prof. C’s classes are amazing. He’d explain everything as many times as necessary to ensure everyone understood what he was talking about. He’d also send us the class material beforehand so we could print it out and write our notes on them. He learns the names of everyone in his classes, and hasn’t forgotten mine even after two years. 

For chemistry, I couldn’t pick just one professor, so have two. Bottom left is transport phenomena with Dr. R. He’s an amazing professor but he was transferred to another area so i didn’t get to take his chemical kinetics class, rip me. His tests were super hard, and i got 30% on his final because we had to propose the heat and mass transfer model for a reaction i thought was endothermic and wasn’t so my whole heat transfer model was wrong. I still passed the class though.

Bottom right is flow of fluids with Dr. VH. Great professor, 10/10. He’s also really funny. I wanna be like him when I’m 60, except maybe not bald. 

Sorry for the long post lol.

[sicamyuu-blog]

First Attempt In Love?

Hwang Hyunjin x Reader Prompt: Study Buddies/Partners word count: 2.4k words warnings: the first fic I’ll be posting here, so it might not be good enough

 The clouds passed by as usual by the window you sat beside. Every day seemed like a drag, even though you were a diligent student in your class. Here you were, in your usual spot—the library. Lectures were exhausting to listen to, and you preferred reading books than listen to someone talk all day. You were looked up to as one of the smartest in class, but not many knew your resolve. The library was a place of rest for you; making it your hang out spot. With who? Literally no one. Not many liked staying in the library like you did, except one of your classmates, Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was obviously popular, stealing ladies’ hearts left and right—even teachers, funnily enough—and it was no surprise for you. He’s even well-known as a school prince. Cliché, huh? He had the height, looks and the charm. So, what could go wrong? Other girls easily gave up on him when they knew he was addicted to books. The library would be the last place any B-class clique would enter, even if Hyunjin were to be inside. Hyunjin easily dismissed compliments like they were nothing when he had a book in hand. He was unstoppable! If he was reading, even if the ‘prettiest ’girl in class were to talk to him, he wouldn’t give a single care in the world. It seemed that books were the bane of his existence. He lived for it. And weirdly enough, you could relate to him. Your escape from reality were the books you excitedly read at the library. And even if you tried to approach him, again, you might be the next contender of his ignorance.

Until one day, your teacher decided to have quite an interactive change of pace. And when we define interactive, it meant having to socialize and deal with another person; which was your weakness. “Alright class, I’ll be dividing you into assigned pairs for this project.” The teacher announces. As soon as that sentence was uttered, the whole class roared. And as you sat there in awe, you heard numerous girls already wishing that they could be partnered with of course, who else, Hyunjin. The teacher started announcing the pairs, silencing the class. At this point, you did not really care who you got anymore, as long as you’d get it finished properly. “The next pair,” the teacher paused, “Y/n and Hyunjin.” And then you heard the world around you protest inaudibly. If you could describe the current situation in a visual presentation, you would say it represented a house going down in fire. The class was in full protest as the teacher put together two smart asses, which did not benefit a lot—especially that Hyunjin was a mass target. As the crowd bickered, you took time to eye Hyunjin, noticing that he was staring at you to get your attention. Your eyes widened as you got startled, when he flashed you a bright smile of approval. You couldn’t help but smile back and give a nod. And that was probably the first time you interacted with Hwang Hyunjin. Ever.

“I can’t believe the teacher paired them. I think she wants us to fail.” “Putting two bookworms in one team?!” “We’re doomed; once they present, we’re all going down to ashes!” “Why does she have to take Hyunjin though?!” Multiple whispers filled your classroom as you got dismissed. Gladly it was the last subject and you did not have to deal with anymore issues. The only thing you had running in your mind, though… “Hi, Y/n! It’s me, Hyunjin!” A voice echoed from the side of your table, which you looked up to from your seated position. “O-Oh. Hey, Hyunjin.” You say monotonously, not meaning to sound rude, but his eyebrows knit together in worry. “…Are you disappointed that I’m your partner?” He suddenly asks. Your eyes immediately open wider to protest. “No, of course not! Who said that?” You retort, looking at his expression carefully. “I’m just a bit shocked, is all. Who knew we’d become partners, right?” You manage to giggle. And then he finally smiled again. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m glad we’re going to work together.” “So, what’s our topic, prince?” You teasingly smirk. “I-It’s about failure, failing, and its effects.” He looks away, flustered. “How about we start today? Besides, we both know that we reside in the library.” You playfully grin, standing up and readying yourself. He cheerfully chuckles. “That’d be great!”

 “Hyunjin, we’re supposed to be writing about our paper, not smelling new books,” “But Y/n, they smell so good!” Who would have known that a few minutes of awkwardness in the library would instantly lead to a humorous friendship? You both were so awkward to the point that the books just did the job for you. You started to shuffle out some books, and he started to line up his collection too. And then here you are now, completely distracted. “I know they smell good, but I thought we’d start today!” “Yeah, yeah, we’ll start today! But just smell it, come on!” He nudges the book near your face, his eyes nearly sparkling. You gave up to his stubbornness and smelled the pages. They did smell glorious. “…You’re right.” You admit in defeat. “See?? It’s addicting! You should try smelling this new magazine too!” He quickly grabs the magazine beside him, but you turn to grab his wrist to stop him. “Hyunjin! Focus on the paper!!” And after the first day spending time together, if seemed like staying at the library was more exciting than ever. You looked forward to visiting the library and reading more books, but now, with him. Every afternoon, or sometimes mornings even, you’d work and chat. You continued to slowly complete you paper detail by detail as the deadline was creeping unto your schedules. On another fine morning, you woke up early to enter the library again. Surprisingly, Hyunjin wasn’t there yet. You realized why as you looked at the time; it was way too early. So, you just proceeded to grab a few books that could help you on your research paper. Your fingertips slid through the lined-up books, and the unexpected sound from the library’s door echoed through the whole place. You turned to see who just came in, and saw Hyunjin, looking groggy and unkept. His hair was not even clearly brushed yet, and his eyes were puffier, seemingly from an all-nighter. His polo shirt wasn’t even tucked in properly yet. This was the first time you saw Hyunjin out of his ‘prim and proper’ physique and it surprised you. “Uh…good morning, Hyunjin.” You quietly mutter, immediately alarming him to fix his posture and look at you. “Y-Y/n?! I mean, you’re here so early! What’re you doing here?” He shyly fixes his locks of hair covering his features, which looked endearing to you. You laughed, earning a confused look from him. “I just woke up early, so I decided to come here,” you sift through the pages of a book on your hand, “by the way, you look cute.” You were too immersed looking at the pages that you didn’t see him completely flustered.

The next day, you arrived early again, shortly to be followed by Hyunjin busting in the library. This time, he had a new look. He never really fails to surprise you. “Good morning, Y/n! Up early again, huh?” He comments, in a bubbly tone. “Yeah…same for you,” You tried to speak with stature, but seeing Hyunjin’s new look left you in awe. His hair was unkept again, but this time he brushed it in a way to make it look fluffier. He was also wearing clear glasses, which made you wonder if he even wore them before. “…Is there something on my hair?” He breaks off the silence, innocently asking. “N-Nothing, no. I never really seen you do that style.” He grins widely, scratching his nape. “I changed my hair a bit,” he replies. The next thing he said was hard to hear as he whispered it under his breath, but you heard it anyway. “…because you said it looked cute.” “Hm? I didn’t quite catch what you last said.” You pretended. “Don’t mind it! Let’s just go on our paper again, yeah?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to admit it, but you kept staring at him because not only did his hair look cute, but also his glasses did. You weren’t used to it. To see if it was real, you sneakily leaned back your chair, eyeing the lens of his glasses. And yes, it was real. “You’re staring again, Y/n.” He cheekily whispers, glancing at your leaning figure. You panic and almost lose balance from you chair, but of course prince Hyunjin comes saving the day, gripping your forearm, and pulling you back to the table. But his plan failed. He pulled you to his side instead, which was way too close. You felt his breath hitch, as he did not move. Your face started to heat up with the distance between you two. He realized this, and pushed you away gently, back to your position. “S-Sorry.” He mutters, not looking at you. “L-Let’s just forget it. It’s okay,” you reassured, even though your pulse was still wild. A few days passed and let’s just say that you two had some known tension going on. You were close, yes, but something felt fishy. You were afraid that maybe you were growing feelings for the young man, even though you tried to push it away every time. “Y/n, please watch my books first; I’ll go to the restroom, if you don’t mind,” “Sure, have fun!” “Why would I have fun in the restroom?!” He suddenly laughed, ruffling your hair. You beckoned him to continue his journey, and so he did. While watching his books, you saw a small note sticking out of one of the pages. You swear you wouldn’t snoop on his things, but the note was bugging you so bad. You slowly pulled it out, revealing his small and clean handwriting. You read it with your eyes, the words hitting you slowly. ‘I like you, Y/n.’ Your mouth opened agape. Why would he secretly put a small note on one of his books? You refused to believe the note. You rapidly push it back into the page, ignoring it. “I’m back! Did you guard my books weeeell?” He adorably teased. “Y-Yeah, of course!” Yet another day, another time. You just finished packing up, ready to go home. You noticed that your last book was not in your bag yet, and you worriedly looked around for it. Just when you did, Hyunjin waved the book at you, clearly in his hold. “Looking for this?” “Oh, yeah! Thanks!” You smiled sincerely, taking the book from his grasp. “I’ll go ahead, Y/n. I have to catch up on my friends!” He cheerfully says, quickly skipping out of the library. “Take care!” “You too!” You wave him off, noticing how hurriedly he leaves, with his ears burning a shade of red. Suspicious of the loss of your book, you keenly eyed it. One page had a slight gap. It was a small note. ‘I like you, Y/n.’ You folded the note back in shape in pure giddiness and embarrassment, giggling by yourself. “He really is cute.” It was finally the day to conclude your long-awaited finish. It was a cloudy, cold afternoon in the library, and possibly the last time you and Hyunjin would spend time together. For nearly a month you spent on that research paper, hanging out in the library every day, your meetings would also come to a conclusion, which saddened you. The deadline was still quite ahead, but it was better to wrap up things earlier.

“And, all we have to do now is compile it and prepare our presentation! You good with that, Hyunjin?” You sighed in relief, waiting for an answer. You got no response and glanced at Hyunjin, who was already fast asleep. You waved your hand in front of his face, calling out to him. No response. His cheek rested on his sweater covered palm, strands of his hair covering his eyes. He looked so ethereal, you thought. You never really observed him this closely, and never did you really have the time to do so.  People were right—he truly was handsome, just like a prince. And just thinking of that tightened your chest. Something in your stomach fluttered, like butterflies. It was difficult to contain. “I don’t really understand, Hyunjin,” you sighed silently, “Why don’t you notice the other girls complimenting you, I wonder?” Subconsciously, your hand moved to brush away the hair covering his closed eyes. You studied his facial features more, appreciating the sight before you. You carefully raised your head to reach his height, planting a small kiss on his forehead. “You really are an idiot. Nevertheless, I accept your feelings wholeheartedly.” You whispered, which sounded way too formal to respond to a confession. “…I’m not an idiot, Y/n. I just really have my eyes on you.”

  Although, your sweet trance ended when you felt a soft hold unto your hand. “What were you doing?” He asks curiously, his eyes slowly fluttering open. Your lungs felt suffocated. “Waking you up, idiot.” You gave him a pained smile. “You clearly failed,” he chuckled, his eyes locking with yours. “And tell me how I failed?” You sassily reply, furrowing your brows. “Are you serious about talking to a person dozing off? I’m not really asleep.” As he said that with a snicker, you blushed, feeling heat radiating up to your eyes. “I think you’re forgetting what our research topic is about, Y/n,” he paused, blinking a few times, and then closing the small distance between you. “It’s about failure, and the acronyms of F-A-I-L.” You gulped nervously, still locking unto his gaze. “And what about it?” He laughed, which was lovely to hear. He then gently caressed your hand. “Is that how you accept confessions nowadays?” “N-No!” You disagree of course, as your response was really lame. “It’s a first, actually…” “But it’s alright, it’s what F-A-I-L stands for,” he rubs your knuckles, looking like a smitten puppy. He couldn’t stop smiling so cutely and it started to annoyed you because it was so irresistible.

“It’s the first attempt in learning.” “And…?” “But for me, what you did meant something else,” he smirked confidently. “It was your first attempt in love.”

And surely enough, you knew what he meant. You truly had a fail.

[gatoseliana]

Spray | Eliana & Ezekiel

TAGGING: @ezekielpwilde & @gatoseliana

TIME: Monday afternoon

PLACE: Basketball side building & Philosophy class

NOTES; Ezekiel follows Eliana after class and finds she’s going to tag the wall and convinces her not to ending up in them chatting and becoming friends. 

Ezekiel Wilde sat near the front of the auditorium and took out his notebook. He didn't bring anything else to class other than the notebook dedicated to the subject and two pens, a black one for titles and a blue one for the actual class notes. He generally wrote down all that the professor said and then went over it before he got into bed in the evening. He smiled at a girl he seemed to recognize from The Beat, named Eliana. He had noticed her in class before, he'd even asked her for a pen once when his had run out but he really didn't know the girl.

Eliana 's by far hated class was Philosophy. The subject was interesting enough but she never liked the idea of lectures and sitting for hours listening to an old guy talk while she was supposed to be 'learning' something. She wasn't the most organized person and kinda fell short of model student which is why it wasn't a surprise to anyone in the classroom including the professor that she arrived late. "Sorry" She mouthed as she found the only seat up front next to some kid she recognized online vaguely. He smiled at her and she politely grinned back. She took out her notebook from her backpack, which was a mess and had various things that weren't school related like some CDs, gym clothes, tangled up headphones and even some spray paint she was gonna use later that day after class.

Ezekiel Wilde was playing around with his pen as he focused on the intro the professor was giving. He accidentally let it fly from between his fingers and it landed on the floor between his and Eliana's chair. "Oh, shoot." He whispered and leaned over slightly to take his pen. He glanced at Elaina's hands that were rummaging in her backpack and noticed a can of spray paint. He stopped himself from raising his eyebrows at that and sat back, politely smiling at the other student. It really wasn't any of his business... but spray painting on school grounds could mean that she'd get serious consequences... but maybe she wasn't going to use it on any walls. He tried to follow the class but his curiosity was peeked. He really wanted to know what she was going to do with those cans.

Eliana noticed Ezekiel look at her funny and she frowned. "What?" She asked as she zipped up her backpack. She adjusted in her seat, thinking how weird this guy was. The whole class period she half took notes, have texted on her phone, not paying much attention as she should have. As the class ended she swung her backpack onto one arm and headed out. Eliana liked to push the boundaries at how much she could get away with without getting caught. Tagging the side wall of the basketball court was one of those things. After class she headed towards there, knowing not many people would be around the court since they didn't have practice going on today.

Ezekiel Wilde shrugged. "Nothing." Is all he said and then put this spray can issue to thee side. He took full notes, engaged in class (which people found really annoying about him but he didn't really care) and resented his untidy handwriting multiple times. He really didn't like how he put so much effort in his notes and they still looked like he didn't care at all. He thought he should have become a doctor, he had the handwriting. When the class ended he noticed how quickly Eliana ran out. He put his stuff away and followed her from a distance. Where was she going? He asked himself as he followed her through the masses.

Eliana As Eliana made her way to the building she sat down her backpack and lit up a cigarette before taking out the spray can. She wanted to do something profound, not some stupid gang tag like you see on the side of the highway. She thought about doing something basketball related because maybe they wouldn't paint over it that way but wanted to do something ironic like 'art is not a crime' type of quote. As she puffed on ehr cigarette she shook the can of spray paint before popping off the cap of it.

Ezekiel Wilde felt a bit creepy, hiding while he looked at a girl just sitting down and smoking but then he saw her grab the can of paint and pop the cap off. She could get in so much trouble if she did this and if he didn't speak up, wouldn't that also mean he was sort of an accomplice? He didn't know for sure but he did know he had to do something. He stepped out from behind the wall of the school building and jogged over to her. "Hey, I don't think you want to do that." He told her, hoping she wouldn't get mad at him for interrupting.

Eliana turned when she saw someone running towards her. She put out her cigarette with her shoe and frowned at him. The weirdo from class? What kinda of trip was this guy on, honestly? "Oh? And why's that?" She asked as she put her arm down but kept the can in hand. Eliana didn't like taking orders, especially from nerds like Ezekiel that didn't even know her. "What's it to you anyways?"

Ezekiel Wilde sat down next to her and shrugged. "I don't want you to get in trouble and honestly, I don't want to get in trouble..." He told her. "And by being here and knowing you're spray painting around the school, I could be considered an accomplice if I don't tell the staff at the school." He said and rubbed his neck. "I don't want to tell anyone about this, but I also don't want to get kicked out of school." He explained. "And I don't think you do either." He added.

Eliana laughed. "An accomplice. Yeah... I mean we could both go to jail. But if you dont say anything and I'm not gonna say anything..." She looked around and shook up the can again and then paused. "Wait...did you follow me here from class? What a stalker." She said confronting him. "Because...you say the paint in my bag." She walked towards him quickly. "You're a little snoop!" She said as she crossed her arms.

Ezekiel Wilde held up his hands and stood up. "Hey, I didn't snoop. You just didn't hide those cans very well." He explained himself. He knew he'd have to make her talk about something else other than how he was a snoop and getting mad at him. "Uhm, why do you do it? The spray painting? Have you been doing it long?" He wondered.

Eliana tossed her can back to her backpack knowing she wasn't gonna be able to do anything til she got rid of this guy. "You don't even know what I was gonna put up there. Its art. And I don't think it should get anyone in trouble honestly. Since high school though I guess to answer your question." She shrugged. "Why you so interested in my spray painting history?" She asked as she leaned against the wall. After a pause she looked him up and down. "What's your deal anyways? I've seen you on The Beat."

Ezekiel Wilde shrugged. "I don't know what you mean by 'my deal'. I just wanted to find out what you were going to do, if you were going to get yourself in trouble or not. And you were." He told her with a smirk. "I'm just happy I was right and that you're not spraying yet because even if you don't think you should get in trouble, there are a lot of people who don't agree." He told her. "They have handcuffs." He added for good measure.

Eliana "Not really any of your business anyways though..I mean you followed me here I didn't make you do anything." She squinted her eyes at him. "What so you always follow all the rules? Thats so boring. Wouldn't be the first time I got handcuffed." She smirked at him. "I meant what's your deal like who are you?" She asked.

Ezekiel Wilde leaned back a bit."I am Ezekiel Wilde and I'm a theology student. I do follow all the rules, unless I'm not aware of them. Who are you?" He asked, just as bluntly as she did. He didn't know why she was so pissed at him, though. He really was only to help, but maybe the girl didn't realize that.

Eliana "Theology. That's super interesting." She nodded. Eliana sat down on the ground and pulled her backpack towards her getting out a soda can. "So you're like really into religion or something, that makes since that you want to follow the rules then." She smiled at him. He was interesting and she wasn't sure why she kept sitting there talking to him. "You want a soda?" She asked. "I have like a 6 pack of pepsi in here" Eliana laughed.

Ezekiel Wilde smiled. She seemed to be warming up to him a bit. That was good. "Yeah, sure. Thank you." He said and took the can of soda from Eliana's hand. He thanked the Lord for his drink and then opened it and took a sip. "I wouldn't say that it is my religion that makes me want to follow the rules, it's just that when rules are just and with reason, I don't mind them. There are a few rules I would like to change, but they're all with a goal that is supported by scripture." He explained. "I am studying theology because I hope to one day become ordained." He explained. "It isn't something a lot of people want to do anymore, but it suits me." He added.

Eliana watched him pray before his soda and she smiled to herself. It was strange but she liked how different he was. "Okay well why do you think its against the rules to tag the wall? You think its just that I can't express myself when I want to?" She asked. "Its art. You think it's just that people get in trouble for graffiti but not for far worse crimes?" She asked. Eliana wasn't trying to be rude although it could be seen as that. She was just asking as an example. "Yeah you don't find many...Christian right?"

Ezekiel Wilde smiled softly at her. "You could express yourself by at least using... chalk? Or pen and paper? Or draw on your own wall in your room. This isn't your property and maybe not everyone likes to see your art." He explained. "Now, do I think you deserve a prison sentence for it, no, but I also don't agree with just anyone spray painting anything they want. I was annoyed when my little nephew wrote on my door and wall, so... I'd imagine people feel the same way about your spray painting." He told her and then nodded. "I am a Christian. An Anglican, actually. My parents were Catholic and I still carry a lot of those Catholic values which Anglicans have sort of put to the side... which makes me a bit of the odd one out but I'm used to that." He admitted.

Eliana opened her mouth to speak but she knew he had a point. "Well...fuck you got me. You should see me room though its very graffiti friendly." She smiled. "Oh, I don't think I know much about anglican...what's the difference?" She asked curiously. Eliana was always interested in different religions. She grew up Jewish but she wasn't really religious herself. She knew a few people growing up that were Jews for Jesus and she thought that was cool. It was the one thing that she didn't judge people too much on despite the world judging so much.

Ezekiel Wilde squirmed a bit. He was uncomfortable around crude language but he knew that he couldn't restrict other's speech. "Well, the difference isn't stunning. Both churches believe in the Holy trinity, for example and have a lot of the same traditions. I think the big differences are that the Anglican church permits divorce while the Catholic church doesn't and the Anglicans don't have a Pope, as we try to disperse power among multiple bishops. We also have female bishops and priests. In many Catholic churches I cannot take communion because I am Anglican. The reverse isn't so, Anglicans do allow Catholics to take communion in their churches." He explained. "I am a bit less pro divorce as some of my Anglican brothers and sisters. I think the only reason to get out of a marriage is abuse, everything else is possible to be worked out, in my opinion. This is just one example of how I am a little different within my own church." He said. "Are you at all religious?" He wondered.

Eliana "Alright. Wait why can't you take communion?" She asked curiously. "I get that. I mean marriage isn't super important to me but I agree, if you're gonna make a commitment to someone you should stick to it..maybe because my dad left when I was young I've been bitter about that. My mom said with him way longer than she should have..." Eliana was quiet for a moment and then perked up. "Anyways um...sorry that was too much information. I don't even know you. I'm Eliana Puckerman by the way." She said finally introducing herself.

Ezekiel Wilde sighed. "It's because Anglicans stepped away from the Catholic church and they don't allow members of other Churches to take communion. In an Anglican church anyone who's baptized can take communion." He told her. He listened to her story and then smiled softly as she obviously felt embarrassed. She showed some vulnerability for the first time it seemed. "Eliana Puckerman. I'll remember that." He said. "And yeah, it could stem from that but really, it just makes sense, doesn't it?" He questioned.

Eliana "Oh okay." She shrugged. "Yeah I guess so." Eliana didn't like talking about her father that much. She didn't remember much, just that her mom cried a lot. Ezekiel seemed like the guy that really had a great childhood. "And to answer your previous question, I'm Jewish. Not super into it. I like exploring my options you know. Learning about new religions is pretty fascinating."

Ezekiel Wilde nodded. "You should explore your options. There are multiple ways to find salvation or fulfillment." he told her. "For me it's Christianity, for others it's Islam, Judaism..." He told her. "But are you culturally Jewish? I mean, you might not believe but you can still follow tradition. Do you?" He asked her. He was interested in people's religious and spiritual life as well.

Eliana nodded. "My family does. I did up until I was like high school. I had my bat mitzvah and then kinda just decided it wasn't really for me. My ma's into it though. Still exploring it all you know" She pushed some hair behind her ear. "I don't think I've ever had a conversation like this after someone stopped be from vandalizing." She laughed.

Ezekiel Wilde chuckled. "Well, I've never had this conversation after stopping someone from vandalizing either." He told her. "If you ever feel like exploring Christianity, I have no problem explaining it to you or taking you along to church. It's not as boring as they say. Only if you're interested though." He suggested

Eliana thought about it for a moment. "Maybe" She stood up and put her backpack back on. "We'll see." She smiled. "I'll see you around though yeah? I mean...you take way better notes is Philosophy than I do" She joked, but honestly it was true.

Ezekiel Wilde grinned. "That I do." He said and then shook his head. "I don't, everyone has their own way of making notes but yes, I'll see you around... and use that paint on a wall that is yours or destined for art, alright?" He asked.

Eliana rolled her eyes. "yeah yeah yeah" She smirked and waved goodbye. She didn't know what it was about Ezekiel but Eliana knew that they would be good friends. He was the complete opposite of her but he was interesting. She walked off towards her dorm room.