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#also tell me your fave new character design thats very important
beamthechao · 5 months
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Played enough Hades 2 the past few days to give a solid Early Access non spoilery review:
Got quite far on a run by chance the other day, and just from experiencing that part of the story (and fleshing out character interactions upon dying) I can safely say Im blown away by the SHEER scope of the story so far.
Theres character art and UI clearly unfinished, some mechanics to balance, incomplete areas and some other things that clearly need work- but I actually dont even notice!!! Ill be getting a boon staring at sketchy blocked in bg art and it doesnt matter because Im having so much fun!!
When recurring characters show up its in little nods and in ways that are surprising, the amount of choices you can make, all the extra goodies and mechanics they added.....im scalped bro
The weapons so far are a nice variety and im getting the hang of them easily. The combat is clearly more cast-based but theres still some good options for close combat, and most weapons have both close and ranged options.
Music-banger. Character designs-banger. Voice acting-banger. Levels-banger. (3rd area level was especially poignant to me, a level of unsettling creepy previously unaccessed in the last game). Also you get animal friends in this one so already GOTY.
I am loving miss Melinoë and how she fits into the broader legendarium and her relationships with the previously established characters! I can also see the direction of her character development and her flaws, and look forward to seeing how she grows through the events of the story. I love the connections she is having with the new characters and the new and different ways you can get to know them (bath salts anyone?!?)
My biggest concern is that perhaps they added *too* many mechanics, such as one where they add elemental attributes to boons which apparently you can stack, but it feels like one extra thing I dont need and adds just more icons to keep track of. I cant see myself going out of my way to get ONLY fire boons, for example, Im gonna pick the boons that work well for me that run regardless of what they are. But this is minor and Im sure there will be refinements. I do love the addition of extra "wildcard" boons such as the Moon boons with the upgrade paths however.
This game is gonna be wonderful in V 1.0, I cant wait to see what else they add but until then im gonna keep playing what we have and see how much I can learn about the world!
Please feel free to comment, message or reply what your impressions of the game are so far, I want to talk to people about it because Im really enjoying the heck out of it!
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coletteuwu · 4 years
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helllo hello hellooooooo~
today i have decided to rank my favourite starkid+tbc musicals :)
now please keep in mind that these are based on my opinions & you have every right to agree/disagree, just don't be a dick to anyone and enjoy
(i havent seen ani, starship nor mamd, so these wont be included here)
#10 The Trail To Oregon!
nothing wrong with it, just not my cup of tea
good idea tho
your wagon is on fiREEE is iconic
humour was inconsistent and overall a bit too childish for my taste
boring
#9 Twisted
this is really controversial, but i practically fell asleep while watching it (maybe because i didnt grow up as a disney fan in a post-communist country)
dylan saunders did an amazing job and i love his singing and he kinda was carrying the whole show (yikes)
costume design was on point tho
also "no one remembers achmed" is one of my fave starkid songs
#8 Holy Musical B@man!
i actually dont have any criticism for hmb, because i think its very well executed and jokes are... good... i guess...
a pretty neutral one, bc the songs were kinda mediocre and so was the humour but i really liked joe walker as batman and nick lang as robin
batman has a cool plane
#7 Black Friday
the new style of the lang brothers is very cool and exciting
the plot was very well written, but it felt a bit,,, rushed?
like they were trying to cram tons of information into one play and for that reason i dont really come back to watch it
and at the same time the pace was a little too slow for my liking?
idk it felt a little off
but characters were iconic, acting was 12/10 (especially joey, lauren and dylan)
#6 Solve It Squad
ACTING ON POINT
comedy was well timed and relevant
brosenthal's scene where he plays all the hotel staff just left me like this -> :o
one of joey's best roles
lauren too
#5 AVPSY
the thing is, initially i wanted to put all the avp parts together but that would have been hard to catch so i guess we're doing this
t h e s o n g s (❤️❤️❤️❤️)
AJ delivers such a good lockhart
joey's sidekick is just mwah
the songs are just so fcking good ahh
they got the real luna!
really emotional
the best ending to the trilogy
in the middle i kinda skipped some scenes bc i got a little carried away
but the ending is just so GOOD
everything has an end.... (i cried a lot guys)
jeff's spider was i m m a c u l a t e
both brians & joe walker 😳❤️
i didnt like the scripts for the first 10 seconds but then after that i didnt even notice them
#4 AVPS
one of the best intros in starkid (if we cannot move forward, why shouldn't we move back? gives me chills everytime)
lucius malfoy is so hot and terrifying at the same time idk if im scared or turned on
story was a little inconsistent and i missed quirrell and the lack of brian rosenthal, but thats okay i can settle for a seamus finnigan
JOE WALKER IN A DRESS. THATS IT THATS THE TWEET.
ron is canonically bicurious????
comedy on point
the best soundtracks in starkid, come @ me im not scared to fight
like for real who wrote the music i just wanna hug them and give them every penny i got to work with them
#3 The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals
lets get the criticism out of the way first
i see that they tried to write the music in the same theme, but some songs were repetitive and jeff's falsetto screaming kinda got boring
not your seed is not that good of a song
corey got me in the fEELS
joey's homeless man was iconic
first i didnt like paul's acting but it grew on me and now i love it
LET IT OUT IS THE BEST SONG OF THE PLAY. PERIODT.
the best written starkid show :)
comedy was, again, relevant and well timed
overall, i loved the simplicity of the design
prof. hidgens = hips™
#2 AVPM
i may be biased bc of nostalgia and bc it was the first starkid musical i ever saw but idc
not that well written, but its just so damn entertaining
QUIRRELMORT
different as can be is just chef's kiss
the chemistry between brian and joe is so good
I CAME HOME
*soft boi brian in a jail dress with a fist in his mouth*
everything just started from there
red vines
snape <3
STARKID POTTER, MOONSHOES POTTER
a gift that is lauren lopez as malfoy
the funniest starkid show idcidc
i was a huge potterhead growing up and hp is so important to my life -> thats why the avp trilogy means so much to me
#1 Spies Are Forever
i saw it recently and im mad i didnt watch it earlier
joey is so hot with a british accent
the history behind all of the show just makes it so good, 1950-60 was the scariest time to be gay and it portrays everything about living in the shadows of the cold war perfectly
choreo on point (thank you lauren)
mary kate as tatiana is very dangerous for my weak bi heart
good music
VERY WELL WRITTEN (PROPS TO BRIAN, COREY AND JOEY)
i really like spy movies so
the whole ordeal that is baron von nazi played by brian rosenthal, a jew
wizz waffle fries
glitter waka waka
i just really love brian rosenthal
the ending :'((((((
torture tango and one step ahead = thats some good shit
joe walker as deadliest man alive oh boy oh boy let me tell you about how much of a latte hottay he is in saf
i LOVE that tati and curt are in a platonic relationship, it just throws the stereotypes out of the window
the whole scene where joey and curt fight
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comicteaparty · 6 years
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February 11th-February 17th, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 11th, 2019 to February 17th, 2019.  The chat focused on Sombulus by Christina Major.
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Chat:
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Sombulus by Christina Major~! (http://www.sombulus.com/)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until February 17th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!
QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?
QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?
QUESTION 3. What do you think caused Rana, Astyr, and Sydney to wind up bound all together since Astyr didn’t do it on purpose? Do you believe the trio will be able to become unbounded? How might this affect their relationships?
QUESTION 4. Who exactly are Hannah and Vuudo working for? Why are the two so intent in spying on Astyr? Further, what about Kazar? What spying activity is Kazar doing and why was Yanell’s presence of interest to her? How will these spying activities affect the main trio?
Delphina
It's my comic! I'm so excited!
khkddn
I have not started reading yet but I wanted to say the website looks really nice. The archive is so neat looking!!
Delphina
Thanks! I know the archive is long, so having a nice-looking archive page that would be helpful for seeing where you left off was important to me. XD
varethane
I think Sydney is my favourite, but that is liable to change at any minute cuz I like Astyr and Rana and Tenge a lot too lol
kayotics
1. I think I like lot of the more recent scenes the best. I really like the emotional depth that's happening between the main characters, specifically Astyr and Sydney. The scenes where Sydney was actively working with Astyr are some of my favorite, just because it shows a lot of character growth. 2. I like Tenge a lot (I'm a sucker for nerds), but I think I like Astyr and Sydney the best! Mostly I like their dynamic and the emotional development that has started between them. Overall, the cast is really fun because they all have something unique about them. 3. I don't really have much speculation on how they became bound together, but I do think that they're going to eventually become unbound from each other, but I think that at least Rana will choose to stay with Astyr after becoming unbound. 4. Again, I haven't speculated too much on who they work for, but my guess on why they're intent on following around Astyr is he's caused some sort of significant disruption in magic before (it seems that he does that frequently enough), or he's important in some sort of larger plot that he's not aware of.
keii4ii
Can I just say I love the main trio a lot + Tenge? Also, I'm entertaining a vague AU idea about half-ascended Astyr with one blue eye.
kayotics
Oooh I like that AU
Delphina
He looks like that guy from My Hero Academia XDDD
kayotics
huh, you're right
RebelVampire
QUESTION 5. Do you believe that Tenge will destroy his own Morphid father? If not, what do you think he’ll do alternatively? Whether he does it or not, how do you think further contact with his father will affect him? What about his relationship with Astyr?
RebelVampire
1) its hard to pick so im picking two. the first one is the scene where sydney is confronted with the fact not all demshull can do magic. i felt at that point in the comic thered been a lot of build up for sydney being confronted with her own racism, and i felt that moment was a great pay off. especially cause sydney's facial expressions in the moment are just fantastic and like she got hit with a ton of bricks. for the second fave scene though, the one where astyr and sydney first meet rana and rana discovers that basically her life is a lie. there was something fantastic in the pacing and atmosphere that really drove home the fact that this was a life changing moment for rana. 2) Astyr. I like how Astyr is sort of this gray character where he's not terrible yet he causes lots of property damage that makes you think Sydney is kind of right about him. And I really just like this complicated dynamic cause it makes you feel unsure about whether to trust him or not. I also love though that deep down hes willing to risk a lot of people he cares about. 3) i actually think it was rana who bound them all, not astyr. theres one moment where rana is looking off into the distance getting internally emotional and then suddenly the alarm about essence going off triggers. and rana is shown to basically be kind of weird where thats concerned, so i think she inadvertantly bound them so she could leave with them. Regardless, I consider it inevitable that they'll become unbounded. While Rana and Astyr will probably be fine, Sydney I think is gonna be most affected. Cause at that point she's either going have to destroy the friendship or admit that Astyr isn't so bad. I assume she'll choose the latter after all the build up, but itll certainly strengthen the relationships since the relationships will have to become by choice and not force.
4) i actually think hannah and vuudo are working for whoever organized the experiments all the half-bred children were part of. cause hannah seems like the type whod do that. so obviously if that's the case, that's why theyre watching astyr. hes their favorite experiment kid and maybe someday hell do something useful. as for kazar, idk. at the moment it just feels like kazar is just doing generic spying, possibly charged with making sure there's no peace to be made (hence why yanell is of interest to her). As for the effect of hte main trio, I think theyre just gonna become public enemy number one for both groups for various reasons, cause theyre clearly super powered weirdos who know too much and should be stopped. 5) I don't think Tenge will go through with it. He'll certainly try, but I think Astyr's pleas are gonna haunt him and he'll hesitate wondering if there is some merit to his father. However, I kind of think Tenge will banish him and still not talk to him. Overall, I think Tenge is gonna start questioning his place in life more. Wonder why he continues when he has to hide out avoiding everyone. As for his relationship with Astyr, eh, it'll probably continue to just be strained cause Astyr has bigger fish to fry right now I think.
Stefan G
@Delphina I have to take additional time to read more comics ... but the first impression is [beautiful cartoons/drawing] ... and the website looks really nice [like how you added a store, archive and how to support your art - good job ... I might steal that ] ... did you code that website yourself or do you hire somebody to do that?
Delphina
Thanks so much! My coder buddy Kemayo built me a very simple webcomic CMS, and the store functionality is powered by Gumroad, but all the HTML/CSS was done by me!
lomcia (princess_lom)
1. DETAILS! It's the best detailed page, colors are nice for eye
2. I don't have yet fav character.... but for now Brendolyn looks ok
And I read it and I need to say, that seeing how your style changed make me impress. I got a question actually, everyone got move to do comic because of some event, movie, game etc. a] Who/what inspired you to do that comic? (I'm asking everyone that question, I just want and need to know!) b] What you feel now, when you look on your comic, how characters develop and how your style improved?
Delphina
Thanks so much! I really had a lot of fun with the colors in this whole scene, so I'm happy you like them! For me: a) Sombulus was a NaNoMango project (like a NaNoWriMo community except for comics) that I started when I was putting off what I thought was going to be my bigger, better story. The main trio of characters and the idea of world-hopping to lots of weird magical places just wouldn't leave me alone. The shape of it has changed a lot, but I'm really happy with where it's gone and it's exciting to be dropping some of the big big spoilers I've had in my head for years! b) I'm going through a lot of Act 3 right now preparing things for print, so I've been staring at pages I did 5 years ago a lot recently. Part of how I designed Sombulus was because I knew it would take a long time, I wanted to incorporate the idea of each world being in a different style. When I didn't have a lot of practice, it was much easier to get the story going in black/white until I got faster at art, but it's also nice to have a built in reason to try different software and brushes. Of course, there's a lot of loose and sloppy anatomy in the past, but I'm the kind of person who really values seeing that as a sign of growth so I'm trying not to update that much and just focus on making parts of the story clearer and more supportive of where it eventually went.
(I know this chat is specifically focused on the comic of the week, so if you want answers from people who aren't me, you might want to ask in #general maybe!)
lomcia (princess_lom)
Yeah, I asked, not everyone is answering, so I'm using week and thirsday bookclub to ask
rae
Nanomango is super good at giving people a kick in the ass for projects. You've done really good with getting it off the ground
Delphina
Thanks, Rae, it's been... whew... a while! Nanomango is a good little group project, though now that I've been at this comic for 9 years, I really think trying to do 30 pages in 30 days (even as sketches) was never going to work for me, and it's never fun to feel like you've failed to meet a goal. But one thing that I think was really good for me was participating year after year gave me sort of a drafting process? Letting what I had done stew and simmer for a few months let me see everything with fresh eyes when I came back, so I could come back the next time and focus on the parts I wanted and cut the parts that didn't seem like good directions anymore.
rae
i feel like it was easier to do 30 comics with the community we had
and yeah, editing is def a thing I wish I could do more for webcomics. >_>
RebelVampire
QUESTION 6. Who or what do you think Rana is? Why was Rana locked away in the Library? What does all this potentially have to do with Rana’s strange abilities that seem to have some ill affects on magic? How will Rana’s abilities affect the group further?
keii4ii
I don't have theories because I'm the type of the reader who just wants to see the answers as they come, but I wanna say I am super curious about this #6.
kayotics
I read the same way, but yeah I’ve been curious about Rana too. Considering some of the recent pages have shown that Sydney has a very strange origin story, it might be safe to assume that Rana is the same. I like that Rana seems to often get the group out of trouble too. Rana has a lot of mystery around her that makes me intrigued to see what the full extent of her abilities are, since I think there’s a lot more to her
Delphina
Rana is so problematic because I love coming up with ideas for her, but it also means I gotta find a million references for gadgets and machines to draw scenes where she does cool things.
kayotics
Rana, the problematic fav
Kezhound - What it Takes
Considering we just found out that Sydney is the daughter of a spear and a magic spring, I'm guessing whatever Rana is, it's a kind of spontaneous creation too. Maybe she's the result of a computer dropped into a magic volcano
it's always possible she IS a machine from another world, one so advanced no one can figure her out
but...have we ever seen her bleed? Or injured?
https://tenor.com/view/arnold-schwarzenegger-blood-leaf-flannel-shirt-gif-3519051
Delphina
I am so here for the Compucano ship
varethane
omg
RebelVampire
QUESTION 7. What do you think happened in the past that ruined Yanell’s peace talk progress? Do you believe that the Kanites and Demshul will continue their fear-mongering ways, or will Yanell advance peace again? What is your reasoning?
RebelVampire
@Kezhound - What it Takes I love this Rana is a machine theory. That is so far from something I would guess, yet would love to see be true to a degree. It fits with all the symptoms.
RebelVampire
6) I think Rana is some mega essence container or something. Like connected to the origin of it all or something like that. It adds up to me why Morphids are so super affected by her presence and why she'd be locked up in the library. You don't just leave your essence power house unattended. You lock them away where they can be "safe." As for future affects, I mean I figure at some point someone somewhere is gonna be like "Hey wait a second weird magic stuff? Isn't that the person we locked in the library?" And then more manhunts ensue. 7) I'm taking a stab in the dark and saying I think it's direct sabotage. Like Yanell's disappearance and entrapement wasn't just happen stance. There is a shadow puppet somewhere making sure that no peace will ever be had. I do think they'll get to peace though. Mostly because I'm an optimist and assume peace will prevail. And also because their entire conflict seems to be based more around fear mongering than actual things they should be that mad about.
Cheshire777
I think that Hannah and Vuudo are working for whoever is messing up Yannell's peace treatys; they're pretty much the only wild cards at this point besides the morphids.
RebelVampire
(the archive for Offshore Comic is now up! https://comicteaparty.com/post/182818407550/february-4th-february-10th-2019-ctp-archive @Stefan G )
so basically its all a giant conspiracy because ppl be hating on peace? O_O @Cheshire777
Stefan G
@RebelVampire Thanks for everything, RebelVampire ... 1) really enjoyed everyone’s comments and suggestions for Offshore. Thanks y’all 2) I also rewrote/fixed the js-code on my website [www.offshorecomic.com] ... now the strips flow smoother and I added a counter in order to better follow your progression. Check it out
Cheshire777
@RebelVampire I'm guessing that the "Big Bad Boss" has some ulterior motive/motives besides just indefinitely extending the war, whether the war is a side effect or that they will profit directly from it (I've just been reading back through the old Akatsuki storyline of Naruto) I have no guess.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 8. Given what’s shown of Astyr’s past, what do you think the experimenters were attempting to do? Why were they targeting half-breed children like Astyr, Cioara, and Tenge? What was their ultimate goal having Astyr explore the Weave?
RebelVampire
8) I feel like theres some power source theyre searching for in the Weave. Maybe a person, maybe just a thing, but they need someone super good at exploring the Weave to find it. I cant fathom why though, albeit i doubt it's anything good. As for why half-breeds, I think it's because they have a different sort of connection with essence and the Weave. Like we've already seen how Rana's strange relationship with essence affects Cioara, and i dont think that's entirely on Rana. I think it's just who Cioara's own strange relationship with it too since plenty of others interact with Rana fine. Either way, I think the experimenters are just trying to figure out if their atypical nature has practical uses for stuff like that.
Cheshire777
8. I think that they were probably recruiting/kidnapping anyone with odd powers, and those three just happened to be half breeds. I think that they briefly refered to other compounds? As for what they are looking for, at this point it could be a whole lot of different things, but a magic/essence/mana/etc store is quite likely.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 9. Do you believe that Astyr and Sydney will be able to successfully restore Sydney’s physical form? How might the ordeal change their relationship? How might it also change Sydney’s views on Demshul in general?
Cheshire777
They probably will, it has been established that Sydney is dissolving: a) Sydney is one of the main characters. b) we're right in the middle of finding out her backstory. She is finding reality at odds with her brainwashing (mosty through experiencing Astyr's memorys) and will have to come to terms with that.
snuffysam
1) act 3. acts 1 & 2 I was like "essence? jumping between worlds? currency? what the heck is going on?". act 3 was like "ohhhh i get what this comic is. it's a bread comic." and i love it.(edited)
2) the combo of vuudo and hannah. something about the way our heroes just keep falling for their lies, the pairing of hannah's planning and vuudo's acting... i just love them.
snuffysam
3) my interpretation is that binding is just something that happens when a demshul tries to bring someone world-hopping. since astyr is inexperienced, he goofed up and brought sydney along for the ride.
snuffysam
4) hannah's doing a truman show starring astyr. no further explanation needed. for kazar, I'm guessing she's just working for the government as a spy in general.
looking at #5, i'm wondering... is tenge & ciora's father a morphid, or the morphid? morphids seem to endlessly divide, and neither tenge nor the morphids seem to have a "hive mind". is it possible that there's just one morphid, and it happens to be in a lot of places at once?
Cheshire777
@snuffysam From what I've observed so far, the Morphid (and Tenge's) multiplication works vaguely like Naruto's shadow clones- when they split all of them have the same base memorys, they have separate experiences and basically act like different people (that are clones of each other ), and when they "regroup" the single has all the experiences of the doubles.(edited)
snuffysam
which would explain why astyr could say something along the lines of "oh, you're one of the ones that recognizes me"
RebelVampire
QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?
RebelVampire
i assume theyre a single being, but tbf i dont discount the possibility theres multiple morphid originals. in the sense that there were multiple "original" people who split into morphids. just cause it still fits with astyr saying one of the ones that recognize me. cause i highly doubt if theres multiple originals they know whose morphid is whos. again tho, just not discounting the possibility. i do get more of the sense that they were once a single entity.
9) yes because narratively i cant forsee the comic semi-killing off a main character quite yet. and sydney has unresolved matters as well, like her meeting with her old mentor and such. idk if the experience will change her view on demshul, but i think shell come to terms that astyr has some inner demons, is a weirdo, but also has a good heart. and that he isnt out to see sydney's demise. 10) im looking forward to more of everything. i wanna see all the inner turmoils, and i especially want to find more hints as to what the deal with rana is. cause astyr and sydney dont seem to care much rana is a weirdo outside of when she doesnt eat, so i will care enough for the both of them.
Delphina
I just want to thank you all for reading Sombulus! I know it's got... several pages, so I really appreciate folks who make it through everything, and such amazing thoughtful questions and responses!
keii4ii
My brain is a mush right now and I can't articulate my feels thoughtfully, but I really want to say Sombulus updates really help brighten my day, every time. I always look forward new pages and am glad it updates twice a week
Delphina
(Also this discussion made me draw Tenge as Naruto. Poor guy, I torture him so.)
snuffysam
before the chat ends, I just wanted to say that I really love sombulus, and I can't wait to see where it goes next!
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Sombulus this week! Please also give a special thank you to Christina Major for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Sombulus, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: http://www.sombulus.com/
Christina Major’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Delphina
Christina Major’s Store: http://www.sombulus.com/store
Christina Major’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Delphina2k
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tumblunni · 6 years
Text
Aaa im so full of poke hype and lovv! <3
I feel like maybe doodling my kid self, for some reason?? Like embrace the nostalg and also show some love to that awkward lil kid who didnt really know who they were yet. Its interesting how much i've changed over the years!
Hell i might even draw personas of myself dressed as all the protags from all the different generations? But they'd be mostly the same for like the first 20 years, just me getting real tall and fat lol. I had almost floor length hair for SO LONG it felt really freeing to chop it all off and i never went back! I think i kept it cos it was loke.. Camoflage? The only 'girly' thing i had so i could pretend to myself that i was straight and cis. Plus a literal shield cos i could be 90% hair and just one eye poking out XD So yeah it'd be funny looking at me over time, its just this girly-looking kid getting increasingly more macho outfits and increasingly more girly hair and increasingly more socially anxious, until within the space of 18-25 i suddenly have this giant self discovery freedom explosion and change completely! Its funny how if anything i look less masculine now? Like im way more comfortable with the fact that i'm someone in between genders, and its not a binary of having to be something i'm not just to escape some other thing i'm not. Its also kinda funny how these gender roles felt so restrictive when i was crammed into one of them, yet dressing with both at once seems just as freeing as having neither. Tho still no matter how i dress i always get misgendered one way or another since non-binary acceptance is still far from the norm. But still im so much more me than i've ever been before, and its great to look back so i can realize how far i've come!
So lol maybe i'll just draw old kid me playing "her" first pokemon game, and leave out the next decade and a half of the same thing but taller. And i could just draw current me in a few different attempts at a pokemon outfit? Like when i did my sprite edits i just did me in my usual outfit i wear IRL, now im thinking maybe i shoulda designed a wish fullfillment ideal gym leader costume or something? Tho im too lazy to start the sprite edit project all over again with this new design lol. Oh and maybe also draw my pokemon go outfit? I dont wear it all the time but i had a fun lil look i wore the other day that i ended up laughing at cos i accidentalky wore all blue even tho i picked Team Valor! Now i wanna wear it all the time lol. Oo and maybe cosplay as my fave characters? If i cant afford to do it IRL i can at least draw it!
So yeh in summary somehow i feel really confident in my identity today and i wanna draw pics of me. Mild ego time!!! Or rather just wishing i could fly back in time and motivate my kid self by showing them that they woukd actually have the freedom to be themself some day. I dont even really think of it as "I used to be a girl" but just that i was always feeling this way and didnt know the words for it, or that other people felt the same way and it wasnt an 'abomination against god'. And for some reason playing a gane with selectable genders really helped me let out some of my feelings during that confused childhood of absolute repression. "I just pick a random gender each time cos it doesnt really matter right? Doesnt everyone just pick the one with the outfit they'd rather wear?" I absolutely knew that was a lame excuse and none of these other kids actually felt that way, but at least it kept people from suspecting i had queer reasons for my queer actions. In a time where i didnt even know what queer meant except that it was Somehow Bad. Gah, this is why sex education needs to be inclusive! Even when i was old enough to learn about straight sex i apparantly wasnt old enough to learn about gay and trans people! Let alone asexuality lol... Man it was a whole nother mess to be dealing with an anomolous lack of sexual attraction at the same time as i was repressing something everyone told me was 'inherantly too dirty for teenagers to know about'. For so long i was just told that crossdressing was 'a sick fetish men have for wearing women's underwear' not just.. A woman is a woman and is telling you she's a woman and you wont listen to her. And for some reason they always obsessed with MTF trans folk in these sensationalist hate sermons, i guess because 'a man who gets off on dressing like a woman' just sounds like the more disgusting version when youre a sexist homophobic transphobic piece of shit throwing your bigotry at children. And at the same time also aphobic and telling me i need surgery on my genitals if i dont want sex. Mannnn kids those days.. i really hope kids these days have it better! I hope everyone who dealt with that shit managed to find love and support eventually, even if its still a damn crime they had it denied to them during their most important childhood years. The whole concept of 'an innocent carefree childhood' is so unknown to me, its ironic people claim they want to keep "lgbt politics" away from children in order to preserve that innocent childhood...
Aaaaanyway im rambling lol! In summary pokemon was one of my only coping methods during that childhood and the only small way i could pretend someone accepted me. Even if it was just by whispering no when the professor said 'are you a boy or a girl' and being happy at the little genderless mons like magnemite or the legendaries. I dont think i would have ever realized it was actually POSSIBLE and had words for the complex dysphoria i was feeling, if i hadnt played this dumb lil series of games.
Anyway thats probably also why i never had any attatchment to gen 1 despite being born right as the first wave of pokemania was coming out. The memories i have of those times are complex. Im just excited to revisit kanto as a new and happy person and maybe make new memories! I already barely remembered actual Yellow compared to FRLG, it was kind of a trip to play it on virtual console and remember all the tiny bits of sexist writing that games used to have during that era. It was like 'whoa i never noticed this was wrong as a kid, this finally explains why it made me uncomfortable!' Also the gameplay was glitchy and the plot nonexistant and the translation rudimentary and limited. And the mons weren't very good and i prefer pretty much every other generation and especially Garbodor and Vanillite, dammit!
Ok im going offtopic again
So yeah like i said im happy that Let's Go has managed to make me hype even thougj i didnt enjoy kanto the first time around! And its good how much it represents my journey out of that shitty childhood so now i can revisit it and pretend this is my first time and None Of That Happened, Thanks
So anyway bunni draws past self. And gets emotional. And rambles for hours in a dumb post.
Ok bye
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