#also the cat was called El Sushi

[drawnecromancy]

one thing i find very funny about my dad is that he will listen to me ramble about stuff he does not care about. he was very surprised when i told him that you CAN train cats to do tricks (because he does not like cats and avoids interacting with them), and kind of impressed when i told him a friend of mine actually teaches her elderly cat a bunch of tricks because said cat gets Bored easily.

it's the little things, you know ?

[patheticbatman]

@answeringmysister won this round!

The 53rd Win A Commission story was ‘West of the Sun, East of the Moon’, based on the Norwegian fairy tale, ‘East of the Sun, West of the Moon’! If you would like to read the story and see the illustrations in context, please

Dani was tired of the East Coast. Tired of the traffic, tired of the loneliness of being one in millions, tired of her family's drama.

So when a recruiter offered her a contract in Alaska, she snapped it up.

“Are you out of your mind?” Asked everyone she knew.

And every time, she would tell them the same answer. She loved her friends, her family, even her very dependent maman. But it was just too much.

“Dah-nee-el-la,” her maman would say, drawing it out in a way only a Dominican accent could. “We have no family up there! No friends! Who will take care of you?”

Unspoken was the ‘Who will take care of me?’ Maman had cancer attacking her spine.

Dani had been her roommate, her confidant, her servant, and a little bit her punching bag for too long.

Meanwhile, her brother had finished school and then some.

The lawyer for the misdiagnosis case was still working on it, but it had been eight years – so Dani did not expect anything to happen now.

Dani was 27. She deserved to have her twenties too.

“Maman, I’ll be fine. I can fly back whenever I want!” - provided that there wasn’t a snow storm – “and it’s only a year. Jordan will stay here” – to keep an eye on you, finally – “until I get back.”

Dani was not going to be dissuaded.

So when her contract at Cooper finished up and Christmas was over, Dani hopped on a plane with several bags of clothes and left for Alaska, much to her maman’s dismay.

“At least I probably won’t have any seizures!” She assured her maman as she stood in line to board. “You know they don’t really happen unless it’s too hot or bright, anymore.”

Dani flew from Philadelphia to Chicago, from Chicago to Seattle, and then stopped at a hotel for the night. The next morning, she flew to Anchorage, got delayed for 17 hours due to a storm, and finally arrived in Qikiqtaġruk.

Once upon a time, the town was called Kotzebue, after an ‘explorer’, but it had recently returned to its Iñupiaq roots. She was to work in the Maniilaq Health Center, and emergency room. She adored the fast pace, and the stretch of her mind as she sought a solution. Sure, a lot of the time she would mostly just work with colds or mild allergic reactions, but she knew how to take the fun with the boring.

She picked up the keys to the car she leased, loaded her stuff, and slowly made her way through the icy roads to the little house on the northern outskirts of town that she was renting for the year.

As she suspected, the pictures had managed to hide a couple of issues – a mold spot in the bathroom, peeling paint – but otherwise, it was a good house. Toasty, already furnished, and quiet. Plus, it had a beautiful view of the sea to the west, and the low foothills to the east.

She would never tell her maman this, but on that first day, she slept straight on the mattress, no sheets at all.

By the third day, the house was mostly set up. Dani knew that she’d have to work the next day, and was not used to the time change yet. So she made everything comfortable, treated herself to some local sushi and set up her own house.

Her very own house.

The quiet was initially unnerving – her maman’s house basically needed a revolving door, with the amount of relatives from France, England, Dominica, and all over the continental United States passed through. Dani had loved it, but long to try something a little different.

Plus, it was pretty hard to date when your maman was constantly around.

But Dani pushed that thought away. Surely she’d be too busy for that!

———

She was not. It turns out, while living alone meant that she was the only one doing chores, that also meant she did not have to clean up after anyone else. Leaving her a lot of free time.

She thought about getting a cat, but decided against it. She really liked only having to take care of herself.

But that didn’t mean she liked being with only herself, all the time.

The other staff at Maniilaq were extremely friendly, and Dani could not keep track of how many outings, parties or high school sports games she attended with her new friends. Most of them were paired up or married to someone in town or close by, but that did not mean her options were limited.

After all, EVERYBODY had a cousin or a friend or a grandmother’s dog’s groomer’s husband’s brother’s neighbor who was just perfect for her.

And when she let slip she was pan? That just opened her up to more matchmaking attempts.

Finally, after the potential stress of starting dating around Valentine’s Day had passed – she had spent that weekend watching sappy romances over Teleparty with her old friend Manuela - Dani agreed to go on a couple dates.

“Just a few!” She warned, stomach sinking at the overly large grins on her coworkers’ faces. She could’ve sworn Melissa in the back was chanting under her breath, “Fresh meat!” Over and over again.

A few (“Just three or four!”) turned to several (“Eighth time’s the charm!”) Until the amount reached the double digits. Dani was becoming pretty familiar with the restaurants in town, much to her palate’s delight and her wallet’s chagrin.

A few were a little too quiet for her taste people. People she ended up befriending, but not dating. She wanted someone to help her fill her house with singing, talking and just general noise.

Some just had beliefs and habits that grated on her own. Things like not stopping completely at a stop sign, or asking excessively personal questions when she mentioned her last boyfriend was trans. Those people, she ghosted as soon as she got home.

Then there was that lady who was extremely forward and did not take no for an answer when Dani refused to kiss her good night. Danny had to jab her in the kidney before she got the message. Dani had a slight frame, but a mean left hook.

Thankfully, the friend who recommended Ms. Handsy was very ashamed and told Dani that her cousin had really only been up for the the woman anyway. Dani happily never saw her again.

On her thirteenth (“And last!”) date, Dani went out with a person named Ada. They were tall, and rounded in a way that told Dani that they really liked food, but enjoyed exercise too. They had spider bite piercings, catching the light under their smooth brown lips. Their dark eyes sparkled with mirth, accentuated by their eyelashes and facial tattoos, a skin tapestry of pride. Their hair and little mustache were black with cinnamon strands in the light, and straight as a pin. Overall, Ada was pretty cute.

“What’s something fun I can do when it’s hot out?” Dani asked after they made their introductions and ordered. “I’m enjoying catching up on my shows and books here – one of the first things I did was get a library card – but I am looking forward to the sun again.”

Ada giggled. “Yeah, I guess it’s a big change from New Jersey! It won’t even be warm enough to play in the snow for another month, basically.” They thought for a moment. “Well, we have a couple wailing festivals around the area – I am a champ at blanket-tossing.”

Dani didn’t know what that was exactly but nodded anyway.

“–And there’s sailing and hiking and – oh! Probably the biggest change is that we kind of become – what’s the word? You know, not diurnal or nocturnal but the other one?”

Dani nodded in her head. “Crep- crap- creps-”

“Crepsuc- crepus-”

“Crepuscular?”

“Crepuscular!” Ada hit their palm on the table. “Yes, that!” Suddenly embarrassed, they lowered their voice. “It doesn’t get disgustingly hot exactly. Our summers usually only hit the 60s, with only a few days much higher than that. Global warming, you know.” They rolled their eyes and Dani joined in. “But what does happen is that it gets so bright you could burn just like that!” They snapped their fingers.

Dani looked at their skin, a warm terra-cotta, darker than her own tawny. Both were slightly pallid from the lack of sun. “I don’t burn easy. It even affects you?”

“Oh yeah. So we all kind of exist during the sunrise and sunset. Even some jobs switch their shifts to those times.”

“Don’t they like, end quickly? You make it sound like sunset is a whole eight hours.”

They shrug. “It’s not eight hours, but it is a couple hours. If we were a few hours more north, the sun wouldn’t go down at all!”

Dani sat back. “Huh. I know the sun shows up differently around the world – I was even attracted to the darkness of your winter! – But I guess I didn’t really think about how it would balance with the rest of the year.”

Ada’s eyes gleamed. “Yes! And –”

The server returned with their food. For Ada, a mushroom burger with no cheese and lots of fries. And for Dani, French toast and a small salad with a vinaigrette.

“God, food is so expensive here!” Dani complained when the server walked out of the earshot. “Unless you’re getting fish – which for the record I do like – then it costs an arm and a leg!”

Ada shrugged. “Well, when the government heavily regulates our local food sources, and businesses don’t want to ship up here…” Her mouth twisted and she shrugged again. “We eat the shipping costs. But I’ve heard that the shipping lane up to Anchorage is getting more popular. Used to be, we’d get everything shipped from Vancouver or Seattle.”

Dani, who had grown up smack dab between New York City, Philadelphia and Baltimore on land colonized partly for its fertility, could only shrug back. She had always been in the center of food and shipping. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. But all this talk about food made me remember we were talking about things to do in the summer!”

“Oh?” Dani said, taking a bite of her French toast.

“I like to go on sunset picnics. Dawn’s are pretty too, obviously, but then the daytime hits and there’s hardly any chance to see the lights.”

“The aurora borealis?”

“Yeah. I, of course, have seen many,” they said smugly. “But I never get tired of them.” Ada took another bite of their burger. “I heard this year, 2024, is going to be especially pretty and strong. Magnet cycles or something.”

“I’ve always wanted to see one,” Dani admitted. “My cousin in New Zealand once saw the southern one – the australis, I think? And didn’t shut up about it for weeks.”

“Well, we’ll have to go and see some.” Ada smiled shyly.

Dani smiled back. “Sounds like a plan.”

They chatted as they ate, and Dani enjoyed herself so much that she suggested they stay for dessert.

“Best not,” Ada said, genuinely remorseful. “Looks like we’re due for another storm.” She pointed a thumb at the window.

“Oh snap! That reminds me. I have to go to Margie’s Materials before they close.” At Ada’s bemused look, she explained, “I’m making curtains. To block out the noise from the wind and I guess now to block out the summer sun.”

Ada nodded. “Yeah you’ll need them. Mention my name, she might knock off a dollar or two. We go way back.”

Dani beamed. “Thanks, Ada! Text me!”

She was still smiling as she paid her bill, picked up the material, and drove all the way home.

———

Of course, this was the one time that winter that the storm lasted for more than three days. On days Dani had to work, she woke up early, drove incredibly slow to work, hands gripped tight on the wheel, practically slid over the road, ice inches thick. Otherwise, she stayed at home, cursing at all the streaming services that were unavailable, and the frequent power outages. She did a lot of reading and sewing by candlelight and by the window. It was not the best thing for her eyes, but as a friend back home liked to say, boredom was the mind killer.

What she most enjoyed was texting with Ada, when the signals permitted. They were quite sweet and funny, and helped her create increasingly bizarre meals as her food supplies dwindled.

Dani

<<I swear my fridge was full just a few days ago. But I just don’t like driving out in this weather. And on a workday, by the time I get out, either the store is about to close or I’m so tired I just wanna go to bed!>>

Ada

<<I know what you mean lol. I live closer to my work than you do but further from Rottman’s. It sucks.>>

Dani

<<Yes! And really, they’re not that far! If it was warmer out, I’d walk>>

Ada

<<And I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more. To be the nb who walked a thousand miles to bring food to your door>>

Dani

<<😆❤️>>

Ada

<<Wait, actually do you live far? Maybe we can still have lunch together.>>

Dani‘s heart skipped the beat. Her maman did always say romance bloomed fast out in the country. She texted her address before she could lose her nerve.

Ada

<<Nice, I’m less than a five minute drive to your place. I’ll bring some home cooking. Lunch tomorrow sound good?>>

Dani

<<Omg you’re too amazing. Thank you!!! ❤️ >>

Casting her eyes around the house, Dani felt renewed vigor for her projects. “I have to show Ada my magnum opus when she gets here!”

Outside, a gust of wind blew especially hard, as if in an agreement.

———

Dani expected Ada around noon – but had yet to hang up her curtains.

A text came through.

Ada

<<Truck won’t start, I’ll be a little late.>>

Dani

<<No worries! I’ll put some candles at the window so you know which house is mine if it gets snowy again. My porch light is broken.>>

She started hanging the curtains all around the house, working double time. But as she was short and did not trust the chair she used a stepladder all that much, she was still very slow.

By the time the very last one was finished, her phone said it was 12:17.

Outside the wind started whipping again, and she neither saw a car coming up her street or anybody off-roaring in the snow planes and the low foot hills behind her house, encircling the ocean and bay.

Which meant she probably still had enough time to put all her candles out. Her family had always prized appearing perfectly ready for guests. Dani kept the habit up, because she enjoyed feeling organized. She drew away each curtain from the windows, and placed a candle on the sill. She missed summer, so she had all the more tropical scents out.

Just as she was sitting out her favorite piña colada candle, the wind cleared away from her eastern window, and she saw a large shape out back. Was that …

“Holy crap,” she breathed. “A polar bear!”

She knew they lived in the area, of course. As per her coworkers advice, she kept her trash in the garage and only set it out the morning before garbage trucks came by.

“They eat ANYTHING,” Barry emphasized. “Polar bears would be happy to eat your trash. Or,” he wiggled his fingers, “you!”

Dani had rolled her eyes at the time, but had listened, and was now glad for it.

The animal was huge – possibly 5 foot at the shoulder. And it was dragging something?

A thought struck her, and Dani’s blood turned ice. She hadn’t heard from Ada in a while, and they’ve been talking about, walking to her house just yesterday.

She grabbed her phone out of her pocket. No answer. Called Ada. No answer. Call Ada. No answer.

Her gut roiled as the beast got closer to the house. There was even something red in the trail following the bear.

She tried calling again, but her service went out. Desperately she typed out,

Dani

<<There’s a polar bear near my house! Please tell me you aren’t walking!>>

But just as she was about to hit send, the polar bear stopped right next to her window. She ducked around the window.

And suddenly there was no polar bear anymore. Instead, there stood Ada, adjusting their kuspuk, hat and mittens, shivering occasionally. And the thing behind her was a sled with a bundle on top. It was leaking red, but instead of blood, it was just a jam jar, fallen over and cracked open, dripping.

Dani could only gape.

Apparently satisfied with their looks, Ada pulled the sled a little further, out of her sight.

Oh God. Was she going to let them in? Maybe she had imagined it. But it was so cold! Plus, kuspuks were about as warm as sweatshirts – pretty good for weather over 40 degrees but nowhere near warm enough for a day like this. So something was definitely wrong. But she couldn’t just leave Ada out there! Even if she was a polar bear before, she certainly wasn’t one now.

Knock, knock, knock!

No time to hesitate now!

Swallowing down the rush of rmotion she weathered the last few minutes, Dani flew to the door. “Ada!” She plastered on a smile.

“Dani!” They answered back, their smile real, spider bite piercings glinting in the sun.

Dani’s heart skipped a beat.

And the wind smacked her in the face and invaded the house. “Come in, come in! Do you need help bringing the food in?”

“No,” Ada said, grabbing the sled one-armed. “I’m good.”

Dani’s heart fluttered again. That sled looked heavy. Still, she scooted around her tall date and grabbed the leaking jam jar. “Don’t want to spill in the house!” She tittered.

Ada covered their mouth with their other hand. “Oh, I didn’t even see that come. Dang it! That was my last jar of nagoonberry jam! Aata - my Dad - won’t share anymore of his.”

“Nagoonberry? And how did you get here? I don’t see a car.”

“My truck still won’t start, so a friend dropped me off down the street.

They hadn’t come in the direction of the street.

“Are you insane? It’s single digits out there!”

Ada shrugged asshe finished shaking off her snow pants - the last of her winter clothes to go. “Darling, maybe I’m just built different.”

Dani couldn’t help but laugh. In more ways than one! “Okay, so what did you bring me, muscles?”

Ada pulled a large basket out of a snugly wrapped blanket, which in turn had been wrapped in a tarp. “To keep the ice off, but the cool in,” they explained. The basket was woven tightly, wide and low, with a huge a huge lid, topped by a carved fish, probably made of ivory or bone.

“So, I hope you’re not too hungry, because I wanted to give you a little lesson before we eat.”

She nodded. “Are you gonna tell me about the nagoonberry?

Ada waved their hand. “All good time.” They pulled two Tupperware containers and stuck them in the freezer. “For later.” Finally, they opened up the basket, and began laying out the food.

“So I was mostly raised up in Utqiagvik, with my aakaga, my mom, until I was about 14-ish. My parents divorced when I was little. I’d see Aata in the summers and sometimes winter break if the weather was mild. Then mom’s writing career finally took off – remind me to bring a couple copies over sometime – and she had to go on a tour. So I moved in with Aata!”

“Let me guess – that’s when you started being interested in making food?”

“You bet! I mean, I knew how to heat up a pizza or make cookie dough. But Dad’s budget was a little tighter, and he’s a lot more connected to his people, so… yeah. Aaka and I are Iñupiak – that’s the dual form of Iñupiat, which is –”

“I know what a dual form ⁂ is!” Dani said excitedly.

Ada lifted their eyes brows, but continued. “Fair enough! Well, Aaka was not very traditional when I was growing up. She had to attend a lot of church as a kid, and she spent a lot more time with her father’s family than her mother’s. I think she was still sorting herself out from that, you know? But anyway, Dad is very Yup’ik. Not dual form for that, by the way,” they flashed a smile. “The plural is just Yup’ik, we don’t really conjugate it anymore.”

“Is this going to be Yup’ik food?”

“You bet! You say you like sushi –”

“Oh yeah,” Dani confirmed, eyes gleaming.

Ada chuckled. “Well, then you’re definitely going to like this. More protein, less filler, all local.” They pulled off the lid. “You seem to tend towards sweet-and-sour foods more than anything, and you mentioned wanting to eat more protein.” They smiled shyly. “So I took that into account. I’m going to introduce you to qassaq.”

Once again, Dani was speechless. Both because she was touched and in awe of the gesture, and because she didn’t know what that meant.

Ada must’ve seen her her face, because they started grabbing dishes out of the basket. “Okay! So this is not the most comprehensive introduction to Yup’ik cuisine, and I did end up going to the grocery store for some ingredients, but I figured we could ease into it.”

“This,” they held up a small casserole dish. “Is modern assaliaq. It’s a fried fish casserole with mostly bulb and root type veggies. That’ll be our main course. I’m going to heat it up in your oven, if you don’t mind.”

Dani shook her head and took the assaliaq, mouth dry. All this, for a second date? “How hot?”

Ada told her, then continued “This, if you dare,” they smirked. “is ciss’uq. Much more traditional, and a bit of a delicacy.”

Dani sniffed. Even wrapped up, its scent was strong and inviting. “What is it?”

“It’s fermented herring. Pulled it out right before I found out my truck wouldn’t start.”

“It definitely smells sweet!”

“If you enjoy this, then I think you’ll really like Tepa. But, that’s more of a summer food, remind me to show you later.” They moved on. “This is tepcuaraq, which is fermented frozen salmon. We can dip in some seal oil!” They set the container aside, with a little tureen on top. “And finally … drumroll, please!”

Dani happily obliged, giggling.

“Ice cream! Just in case you do want dessert. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I bought Neapolitan.” They grinned, a little sheepish.

After a moment, all Dani could say was, “I am blown away. You made all of this?” She gestured all around the kitchen as she put the ice cream in the freezer.

Ada smiled, still bashful “I really enjoyed talking with you, Dani.”

“I feel so unprepared!” Dani joked. “But I really like talking to you too.” She felt the blood rush to her face. “I hope you aren’t expecting to go home with leftovers, because I really want to try everything!”

———

Dani wasn’t sure if she’d ever eaten so much in her life. “You eat like this every day?” She asked, dipping another filet into the nearly gone seal oil. Another bite couldn’t hurt.

“I mean, not usually when I’m working. The counseling center is great, but I don’t normally pack a ton just for one meal. I’m a snacker, so I make a bunch of little stuff on the weekends and eat it throughout the day. But you can’t snack all day for a date!”

“How is that? By the way, don’t you guys counsel like, everyone from miles around? That must get a little bit conflict of interest-y with everyone being so tight around here.”

Ada shrugged. “I mean, I like helping people. Especially kids. On Thursday and Fridays the Center sends me to both of the schools to check up more personally, in case parents don’t want to bring them in.” They shook their head. “It’s like no one remembers how tough it is to be a kid sometimes.”

“I know!” Dani fumed. “Back home, a little girl was brought in after burned her foot when she put it on the stove top.” Both winced. “Not only were the parents careless, but they didn’t understand why she nearly screamed herself blue! It was the most painful thing that little baby had ever felt. It’s like they forgot everything is new.”

“Exactly.” Ada nodded.

Dani couldn’t stop smiling. A pretty date, good food, and excellent conversation. She didn’t want this to end. “Do you wanna watch something?”

“Sure! Have you seen Dungeon Meshi?”

Dani shook her head. “Isn’t that on Netflix? I think my friend just started.”

“Let’s watch that! I think it features cooking and fighting.”

Laughing, Dani grabbed two bowls and two spoons. “Everything is food with you, huh?” She grabbed the ice cream and a scoop. She could probably fit in dessert. “So why aren’t you a cook?”

Ada laughed too. “I tried for a year! But I like to take my time while cooking. I just couldn’t keep up at any of the restaurants. So I eventually got my psych degree.”

“Yeah, the restaurant business is tough. I do not miss being a waitress.” Dani handed Ada their half of the ice cream, with most of the chocolate and some of the strawberry. Dani took most of the vanilla nd the rest of the strawberry. “Hey, doesn’t Alaska have its own type of ice cream or something?”

Ada nodded as she pulled up the show. “Mhm. We call it akutuq, Inuit or Alaskan ice cream. It’s kinda like this?” She held up her bowl. “In that it’s a cold mix of sweet and fat. You have to try it. But I used up all my berries, so you’re not getting any soon. Though Lou still owes me – wait. I doubt xe has any either. Ugh.”

“Another summer treat?

“We’ll have to see,” Ada shrugged. “Oh well. You ready to watch?”

———

By the time the two had reached the second to last of the episodes released - they kept one-moreing it straight through episode six - it was quite dark.

“Let me give you a ride home,” Dani said. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier.”

Ada snorted. “You’re silly. But yeah, I’d be happy to save the trip.”

Dani dashed out to start the car, and they finished episode seven.

After both had finished redressing - for if the trucks heat suddenly failed, they did not wish to be cold – Dani drove her home. The sky was briefly clear, and they could see the moon setting on the sea.

It looked like a fairly normal home, even with an absolutely true part-time† polar bear living there. Dani did not see any polar bear paraphernalia. Not even a Welcome mat with paw prints in the pattern. She shrugged mentally and and gave Ada a kiss on the cheek.

Judging from their bashful reaction, they really liked it. With a wave goodbye and a “Text you later!” They grabbed the sled from her truck bed and rushed in the door, narrowly avoiding a particular vicious torrent of wind.

Dani played some instrumental music on the slow ride back, truck occasionally rocking and sliding against the onslaught of wind and ice. She hummed along, in between growls of frustration.

It had been kind of stupid to invite someone new over her own house, when emergency services could take a while to respond, for a second date. It had been monumentally stupid to invite a known anthropophagous bear into her house.

But God, Ada was cute. Dani was surprised they hadn’t kissed during their long date. Had it really been six hours? Dani had trouble enjoying that amount of time with any of her previous partners – and she had been thinking about marrying her ex-boyfriend!

Ada was witty, and sweet, and quite cuddly. And God, could they cook! The food they made was delicious, and made Dani feel brave and adventurous. Their shoulders were to die for, and Dani didn’t think she had felt that warm since last summer.

She shook her head. “I’ve got it bad.”

And what did this mean magically? Were all the things her grandparents worried about real? Was the Evil Eye real? Should she start wearing a cross? Was God real?

Then Ada popped up in her head again, and her worries melted away at thought of her cute date. Dani’s existential crises could wait until she got home.

———

Both Ada and Dani were busy with work, but they made time to see each other at least every Saturday – often extending all the way into Sunday.

Spring was slow to come, but as the weather warmed from ‘Immediate frostbite’ to only ‘You really just need one pair of mittens to go outside’ Ada delighted in showing off the beauty of town in the spring time. They walked around Swan Lake, pointing out the animals’ coats shifting to summer morphs, and the occasional bits of green fighting their way to the surface. They worked out together most days, and Ada would often fill Dani’s fridge up with food, but especially qassaq.

The sunlight increased every day and Dani loved it. She missed the easier weather back home, the earlier flowers, and the perfect days of May, but Dani was enjoying her break from home far more. It was worth it.

Dani’s hair, which she usually kept straightened, was starting to get on her nerves. The static electricity from the cold certainly did not help.

Dani

<<Ugh, I wish I had remembered to bring the good straightening stuff. I bet it will cost me an arm and a leg to get it shipped up here.>>

Ada

<<Darling>>

<<We do have hairstylists>>

Dani Scoffed.

Dani

<<Babe. No offense, but your hair is straight>>

Ada

<<Darling>>

Ada liked to double text for affect.

Ada

<<Where do you think my cousin Kayla and her mom got their hair done?>>

Dani had met their cousin when she came to visit Ada’s dad, Greg, for the first time. Delighted to finally meet her, Greg celebrated by cooking a little feast. The three stuffed themselves full of qageq, cuakapaq and tamukassaaq, which they ate like if chips were chewy.

While they played Sorry!, relatives stopped by to chat. They would then see Dani, and then the little chat would last at least half an hour while they introduced themselves and told at least one embarrassing story about Ada.

Dani quite enjoyed it, though by the end, she was a little exhausted. It was the first time she’d been on the other end of the dynamic.

One of the other relatives, a very old man, had referred to Ada by a different name a few times, but his son, who’d been with him, smiled apologetically. “He gets confused sometimes.”

Kayla had been the adorable daughter of Cousin James and his wife Kendra. She and her mom had most definitely not had she and her maman most definitely did not have hair as straight as a pin. In fact, Kendra had tried to talk to Dani about her hair, but then Greg’s cat Hobbes had knocked her glass off the table. By the time everything had been cleaned, the little family had to go because it was a school night.

Dani

<<All right, I’ll bite>>

A little part of her wanted to ask if this is where they got their fur done as a polar bear.

Ada

<<Guys & Gals Inc.>>

Dani checked out the next day, and was pleasantly surprised at their work. For the first time in over 15 years, she let herself be talked into a natural hairstyle, instead of straightening it. Maybe all that talk about reconnecting from Ada had gotten to her.

Sabrina, her stylist, was mixed Yup’ik and Black, and very chatty but in a welcoming way. “So why did you straighten it for so long?” She said, working on another bead. “It seems like you took care of it, I don’t see too much damage, but that’s a long time!”

Dani considered the question for good moment. “My hometown, back in New Jersey, was almost perfectly half and half black andwhite when I was growing up. It’s a little different now, but there’s pretty much the same ratio between black-and-white.”

Sabrina was nodding.

“But my family is from Dominica – NOT the Dominican Republic – so we were pretty different from the other black folk already there. My parents have accent, we eat goats and organ meat, and with my Papa away for work a lot, no one could drive us kids around. I just wanted to be,” Dani tried to find a better word. “Normal.” She winced.

“So you hung out with more white kids?

“Yes. Jordan – my brother – didn’t really care, but I did. And to be normal –”

“You have to be like everyone on TV, AKA, mostly white people.”

Dani felt small. “Yes. After a while, it just became habit. And my maman’s half Kalinago❧ , so her hair is just wavy.” She sighed. “When she had to learn how to deal with all this,” Dani gestured to her own hair, “she had quite a lot to say.”

Sabrina chuckled. “Sounds like your mom should have thought of that when she married your dad. Because you have beautiful, definitely curly, 4A hair.” Sabrina squeezed her hand comfortingly on Dani shoulder, “In any case, hon, better late than never. Look at yourself!”

Dani looked up, and gasped.

She hadn’t been sure if she’d been able to pull off the hairstyle as an adult, but she had wanted it all the same. Her scalp had always been sensitive, and she avoided tight braids when she could.

Instead, she had opted for long twists, stabilized by beads of bone and baleen, the latter of which had a stripe of golden paint in the middle of each bead.

She felt gorgeous. Even if she never wore her hair like this again, she knew she treasure the beads forever.

Dani was still feeling gorgeous by the time she got home. But she was also exhausted.

Staying still for several hours with genuinely hard work! Ada had been knocked out all weekend when she got her hand kakiniit done. She flopped onto the couch after lighting a candle. She looked at the time on her phone. It was three hours until six… That meant she could have an hour to snooze, an hour to cook, and then she should be ready! Dani set an alarm on her phone. A little nap wouldn’t hurt.

———

Dani was at a restaurant, alone. She kept ordering qassaq and quaq dishes, but the polar bear waiter kept bringing foods that were further and further away from what she was ordering. From sashimi to grilled chicken and on and on, until the waiter lifted the lid to her plate, and it was a lettuce leaf vegan burrito.

In between all that, the polar bear brought up a ringing telephone, set it down, and left it on the table.

She would pick up, or immediately hang it up, but after what felt like mere moments would pass, it would ring again. In exasperation, she picked it up and threw it away. There was a crash, but finally the ringing was far enough away that it stopped bothering her.

“Dani!” Someone in the restaurant called. “Dani! Wake up!”

Dani whirled around, but couldn’t seem to locate the voice.

CRASH!

With the start, Dani woke up to see her candle on the floor, burning, her door was off its hinges, her phone was still ringing on the other side of the room, and for half a second a polar bear stood at her doorstep.

Then a flash, and it was Ada.

The fire caught onto Dani’s sock. She ripped it off, and beat the blaze on the floor with it.

When she looked up again, sock and floor out but still smoking, Ada was running over with a pot of water from the kitchen. She dumped it onto the smoky mess.

Heart beating wildly, Dani caught their eye. And started giggling.

Ada tried to keep their face straight, but soon started giggling with her, both falling back onto the couch and relief and the stupidity of it all.

“I can reattach - hehe – the hinges,” Ada said, after they mostly finish laughing. “Are you okay?”

Dani was not done laughing. “Just – hmheehm – Bam! And you’re there,” she kissed Ada, then giggled a bit more. “My hero!”

Blood rushed to Ada’s face. “Yeah, yeah. Your hair looks pretty, by the way. The beads are a nice touch.”

“Heehmhm – you just like them because your cousin carved them.”

“How did you know Josie makes beads?”

“Well, the little stand at the hairstylist had a blurb about her, and from there it was a lucky guess. You have a lot of cousins.”

Ada smiled. “You got me there.” Their face turned serious for a second. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” Dani’s heart raced. Did Ada realize that she had seen her as a polar bear today? Could they both finally come clean?

Ada took a shuddering breath. “Yeah, so, I’ve been thinking, and… I’m going to change my pronouns.” Dani’s trepidation fell, but then turned to excitement. “Awesome! What are you thinking? Neo pronouns? I played fae/faer in college. Or xe/xir? My friend uses those. Or –”

Ada looked a little overwhelmed. “No, no. I was just thinking she/her. Like, I’m going to try both they/them and she/her for a while.”

Dani hugged her. “Thanks for telling me. I have a question for you too.” She had actually been planning on asking this at dinner, but now felt right.

“Oh?” Ada said, slightly mocking.

“Yeah, oh. Listen, do you want to be my themfriend?”

Ada kissed Dani. “Hell yeah.” Then her stomach rumbled. “I’m guessing you didn’t make dinner?” Her stomach rumbled again. “Because I’m starving.”

“Yeah, next time I say I’m cooking, I won’t get my hair done first. How about I pick up Chinese, and you get my door. Thank you, by the way.”

Ada waved her off. “It was no problem. Now go get me some General Tso’s!” They got up to get the tools from underneath Dani’s sink.

“As you wish.”

———

“Darling?”

“Hm?”

“There’s a festival up in Utqiagvik, where my aakaga, my mom lives. Do you want to go?”

“Sure! I’d love to hear more embarrassing stories about you. I’m sure your aaka has tons.”

“Ugh, why do I love you?”

“Because I’m cute. Now hand me some of that arumaarrluk.

———

It had just been getting into light jacket weather in Qikiqtaġruk when it was time to fly up to Utqiagvik.

“It’s the northernmost spot of the Unethical Spoils of America!” Ada grinned while Dani worked that one out.

“Oh, USA. Okay, good one. Why are you bringing that up while I am packing, my thrilling themfriend?”

“Because, my striking sweetheart, it will not be warm enough to wear your pantsuit.” She said, pointing out the pantsuit Dani had laid out.

“Don’t you mean my PAN-tsuit?” Dani grinned briefly as Ada groaned. “And for real?”

“I mean, pack it if you want? Global warming and stuff, I could be wrong, but whenever I go there, it’s still pretty chilly. But suits look weird layered, my pretty panwoman.”

“I think I will, my lovely lesbian.” Dani stuck out her tongue, and Ada pretended to grab it. She shrieked and tackled her girlfriend to the floor, both laughing.

———

Utqiagvik, or Barrow as some of the older people said out of habit, still had snow. Dani wondered briefly if Ada’s polar bear form missed it, but she did not ask.

She loved Ada, but knowing the secret – and knowing that Ada was both keeping it from her and didn’t want Dani to know – was eating her up inside. And she was determined to have a good time – and if the opportunity arose, and the time felt right? Then she’d bring it up!

After an exhausting few flights – they had to fly south to Anchorage to catch a flight to Utqiagvik – Dani was ready to fall asleep. She was still adjusting to incredibly long days, and the solstice had just passed.

Thankfully, Ada’s mom Barbara was waiting for them at the airport. She gave her child a hug and a kunik∵ , and then turned to Dani. “You must be the girlfriend I’ve been hearing so much about!” She opened her arms once more.

Dani hugged the woman back. “Hi Ms. Stevens! I just finished reading book 6, and I’m itching to find a copy of next one! Ada doesn’t want to give me hers!”

Ada squawked in indignation. “Aaka, that’s not true! I los– I mean, I lent it out to someone else. I’m sure … Barry will give it back soon!”

Ada‘s mom rolled her eyes. “Please dear, call me Barbara. And I have extra copies to give you both so that Ada can ‘lend’ out a few more.” She winked.

“Aaka!” Ada whined.

———

Somehow, it was even brighter in Utqiagvik, then Qikiqtaġruk, despite the extra fog. But that didn’t stop the whaling festival, Nalukataq.

A lot of the butchering was already done, so the whales were fresh and ready to eat, and people were clearing out their freezers for any bit of last year’s catch.

Since everyone there was a fan of snacking all day, Dani was soon stuffed. As a newcomer, the whale guts and flippers were offered, and then there was the coffee and the goose and the caribou soups. And of course, the frybread! It was a delicious medley.

Ada happily introduced her to her maternal family, and friends from before she moved. They ran into many of them, because virtually the whole city had turned out for the festival.

There were so many vendors selling beautiful combs, baskets, parkas, kuspuks, embroidered boots, and so many other beautiful things. Dani ended up buying a basket for herself (topped by a polar bear), an arctic fox carving, and a baby blanket embroidered and lined with rabbit fur. It was ridiculously soft and fluffy.

Her friend Annika, who she was going to see on her trip back to New Jersey the following month, was due August, and she figured it made for a great baby gift.

Barbara winked when she saw the baby blanket, and Dani tried to explain herself, but Barbara just poked her in the side. “Come on, dear. You should see Ada at the blanket toss. It’s what the festival was named for, after all!”

The activity so far had been fun, but more expected, like prayer at the church, singing, storytelling, there would be dancing later, and the distribution of meat between family. Ada’s cousin Malik had done the majority of the hunting this year, but Ada promised to come help in 2025.

The songs were lovely, but sounded off to Dani, who been hearing a lot of Yup’ik the last couple months.

“Yes, it’s like Spanish and Portuguese, or so I’m told,” said Barbara, as they strolled over to the blanket toss. “Yup’ik and Iñupiaq. They’re fairly different, despite being relatively close. I couldn’t understand Greg when he slipped into Yup’ik, I’ll tell you what!” She chortled.

“Do you miss having Ada up here?” Dani asked quietly. Being around Barbara reminded her of her maman.

“Of course. But they’re happy in Qikiqtaġruk, and I’m happy here, and they come visit very fairly often. If they,” here she raised her eyebrows meaningfully, “ ever were to have kids, I would of course expect to have quality grandma time. But seeing as all involved are adults, we all do as we wish.”

To cover up for her blush, Dani laughed. “You should meet my maman, I’m sure you two would have fun, bugging about grandkids.”

The two arrived at the blanket toss. A huge blanket, mapkuq, sewn together out of walrus and seal hide, lay stretched between ginormous whalebone stands, with a host of people surrounding the edges.

“Okay, Dani, I have to help out now –” she nodded over to the tarp, where a few spots around could still be seen – “But why don’t you climb up on my truck! That way you can see my girl best.”

Dani, excited because she still wasn’t quite sure what to expect – she hadn’t spoiled herself at all – clambered up the red truck and situated herself upon the roof.

First came the captains. All but the oldest, who held a cane, got up on the mapkuq, and took their turn.

One, two, three bounces, and then four! The naluaqtit, the pullers, would pull the mapkuq taut, and up would go the captains.

Being generally older and serious, they would perform as straightforward a jump as possible, with minimal kicking, but by the end, even the most of dour of the nalukatat, blanket dancers, would land back upon the mapkuq, slightly winded, but grinning despite themselves.

Non-pullers were gathered around the mapkuq, which worried Dani somewhat. What if someone fell on them?

After the captains were the wives. “In old times,” Dani heard a nearby father tell the little boy sitting on his shoulders, “They used to toss baleen and tobacco, and other such treats, to show their competency as providers. But today they throw –“

“Candy!” Squealed the little boy, leaning past his father’s head as he reached for the tossed candy. The father, nearly bowled over by his son’s excitement, chuckled and gently warned the boy to be careful.

To Dani’s relief, the boy obeyed, and the two moved closer to the candy rain.

The last of the wives, who seemed young and athletic, hopped up on the map with clear excitement bubbling under her skin. She held a bag of candy, but unlike her predecessors, seemed to have something more in mind.

The young woman whispered to the leading naluaqtiq. He nodded, and then the woman went to the center of the blanket.

This time, the naluaqtit seemed to lift the mapkuq with an extra heave, and on that final bounce, the young woman went sailing into the sky.

She twirled the bag of candy by its bottom, high above her head and whooped, much to the delight of the entire crowd, Dani included. The candy went far and wide. Then she when she landed, the naluaqtit sent her up again! This time, she did a backflip and landed in a curtsy. Everyone cheered. From their reaction, it appeared the captains’ wives usually did not do such things.

Next step was apparently amateurs. Three separate people accidentally bounced off the mapkuq and into the crowd – who caught them quite readily. Dani realized they were so close so they could catch any accidental crowd surfers. The mapkuq was held on hard ground, so that the naluaqtit could hold it steady. Which meant a terrible landing for any who weren’t caught. Dani was just glad she didn’t have to rush into action.

Someone called for any new volunteers, and Dani thought about it, but ultimately held off. Between her full stomach, and the fact that she didn’t know many people, she felt it would be best to hold off. Maybe next year.

Next year? A small part of her whispered.

Shut up, a larger part whispered back.

Finally, she spotted her themfriend and cheered.

They strode up to the mapkuq confidently, with a few wolf whistles and whoops in their wake.

“Ada!”

“Ayo! It’s the champion!”

“We missed you at the Olympics!”

Ada smirked and shrugged off their attention.

The crowd stood at the ready.

The blanket bounced one, two, three times. She went up. A simple jump. Then to Dani’s awe, they flipped not once – not twice — but thrice.

They were spinning, so tight that it was like Dani was looking at a ball.

Only their braids, whose fur wrappings were coming loose, flew freely as they soared higher, higher, higher – nearly skimming the clouds it seemed – and then hurtled down.

Dani‘s breath caught in her throat her girlfriend approached the mapkuq. Would she fall, just like that?

Then the last second, her legs shot out, the mapkuq arose to meet her feet and up she went again. Two barrel rolls, a backflip, and on the last flip, Ada unfolded herself a little early and landed like a surfer. She lifted her arms and whooped.

The city went wild. Dani went wild. She launched herself off the truck and flew over, grasping Ada’s face and kissing her in front of the roaring crowd.

She had the coolest girlfriend in the world.

———

Barbara was incredibly proud of her child, and was bragging all the way back to her place after the day’s festivities ended. She stopped to breathe for a second, and Ada was about to get a word in edgewise, when Barbara turned to Dani, who was riding shotgun.

“Ada is great at all sort of sports. They must’ve been practicing quite a lot at your little gym – the Lord knows no one’s pulled that level of a trick for a while.”

“Aaka,” Ada pleaded, blushing.

———

“So you were in the Winter Olympics and you never told me?” Dani poked Ada in the side. They were walking at dusk, the cool air blowing off the water just this side of kuspuk, not coat.

Ada laughed. “It’s not the Olympics you’re thinking of, I’m surprised I forgot to tell you.” A pause, then, “I won third place in the 400 m dash in the Summer 2016 Olympics.”

“Really?!”

“No, no,” They said, and laughed. And then yelled when Dani poked them in the side once more. “Okay, okay! I used to do some jumps in the World Eskimo – Indian Olympics, the WEIO¤, in Fairbanks. I went for the first time with my dad, competed two years later. I didn’t go during Covid, and between this trip and then the trip to NJ,” they squeezed her hand, “which I’m very excited about – I haven’t been able to go to one in a while. But maybe we can go, next year!”

There was that dreaded phrase again. Next year.

Dani swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Was that the only kind of jump? The nalukataq?”

“Nope. But I mostly did stuff like the tow jump or the knuckle jump. I’d show you, but one requires a little set up and the other would hurt on the concrete.”

“I’ve never done anything like that.” Dani confessed after a moment. Then, “But I used to be point guard on my middle school basketball team. We should totally play some on one when we get to find a court! After you show me these jumps, of course.”

Ada squeezed her hand. “It’s a date.”

Fog started rolling towards their path, so both turned tail to head back to Barbara’s.

“Oh, is that a … rainbow, or something?” Dani pointed to a ring of light that encircled the setting sun. It appeared white, but the more she stared at it, the more pink and blue appeared at the edges.

“Oh!” Cried Ada, pleased “A fogbow! I haven’t seen one in ages! I think Qikiqtaġruk is too far south for any.”

“That’s neat! Back in NJ, I saw a triple rainbow once. But never anything like this! It kinda looks like a trans flag. Happy pride month to us!”

Both giggled, and then a harsh gust of wind swept away both the fog and any desire to stay outside. They hurried in.

Barbara was clacking quite loudly at her keyboard when Dani and Ada walked in – it no longer threatened to fall off her desk, thanks to Dani bolting it to said desk – but it still rattled. The woman pulled off her headphones and said, “There’s leftover assaliaq in the fridge, tepa if you want something sweet.” She put her headphones back on and returned to her clacking.

Dani rushed over to the kitchen. “Tepa? Isn’t that the sweet-and-sour stuff you wanted me to try?”

Ada actually wiggled to fingers. “Yes, oh my God. This is going to be good. I knew putting off fishing was a good idea!”

Tepa was a great way to end a great day. It was less sour than Dani expected, and she would happily admit to stealing some heads off of Ada’s plate. That got her an evil glare, but she just stuck at her tongue.

Ada put down her fork. “Hey, do you want me to show you another Olympics activity?” Her tone was innocent. Too innocent.

Despite herself, Dani aquiesced.

They sat upon the floor, and Ada showed her how to arrange herself.

With their right leg bent with her knee up, foot on the floor, and their left leg outstretched, toes of the sky, Ada folded themself around Dani, so that their left leg stretched under the arch of her right, and right foot by her hip. One mirrored the other. Ada and Dani put their left hands on each other’s right ankles, holding one another down. “Then, we cross our right arms, like this, and we pull away from each other.”

“No fair, you’re bigger than me!” Dani stuck her tongue out again. “You’ll push me to the ground.”

“Well, darling,” Ada purred, and leaned in even closer. “I could be mistaken, Ms. Basketball-Star, but I think you go to the gym more than I.” They pulled back, laughter in their eyes. “And besides, you win by pulling your opponent towards you. Whoever gets to hit the floor first, etc.”

Dani saw where this was going. She darted forward and picked Ada on the lips before they could say more. Then before the shock could wear off, she pulled them both down. “I win.”

Ada licked their lips. “You most certainly did,” they said after a breathless moment.

“Is this actually a sport, or is it just your special move to get all the girls?”

Ada rolled her eyes and kissed Dani back. “Oh no,” she deadpanned, “you found out my deep, dark secret. My armpull skills bring ALL the girls to the yard, and you’re just the latest in a slew of broken hearts.”

Dani had to laugh at that. Ada was NOT that smooth. “Well babe, I have to say, your reasoning and methods are solid. When am I getting replaced?”

Ada pretended to think for a moment before kissing her again. “Hm, I’m thinking this time next never. Sound good to you?”

“Do I have a choice?” Dani tugged on a strand of Ada’s hair.

“Nope. Suffer.”

That earned them another giggly kiss. “Love you, darling.”

“Love you too, babe. Bon swé.”

———

Something was off. Dani woke up in the middle of the night, alone in bed, dawn rising in the distance. She got up to look for Ada (and maybe grab a little tepa - the snacking lifestyle was rubbing off on her) when she heard voices just outside the lee-side living room window, accompanied by the flickering glow of a candle.

“I just don’t think it is a good idea. She’s a lovely girl, I really do like her, but you barely know her! Give it time.” That was Barbara’s voice.

“But Aaka, I think she get it, you know? She’s even Indigenous herself, I don’t think she’d reveal anything personal. She knows what it’s like to feel different in your own home. Even if we,” Ada’s voice went quiet, “broke up. Or something. She knows what it’s like to be ostracized for things you can’t control. She would not tell!”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But it’s not like she’s planning on staying. You have to protect your heart, Ada.”

The hurt silence was only interrupted by the low moan of wind on the other side of the house.

They must’ve switched to Iñupiaq after that, because Dani couldn’t catch anything more. She could’ve sworn she heard nanuq a couple times – she knew that to mean polar bear - but that was about it. Her heart became more and more numb, crouching under the window sill.

Only when she heard a growl did Dani wake up from her miserable trance. She peeked and yes. Ada was a polar bear again.

She heard the sound of footsteps towards the door. Dani flew to their bedroom, and threw herself under the covers.

Of course. Of course, she could not be told. She was just another outsider, a stranger. How could she be anything more?

———

When Dani woke up, Ada still wasn’t back.

“Oh, she just went fishing with her cousins!” said Barbara cheerily. “You know how early dawn is around here! Maybe we can all have some barbecue when they get back. Then I’ll take you up to the airport.”

Dani nodded, too morose to say much.

Ada did, in fact, bring back some fish, and they fried it up in some seal oil.

Dani tried to muster up her usual enthusiasm, and the food was delicious, but she just felt heavy.

“Are you okay, darling?” Ada asked, after Dani sighed for the third time.

Caught, she spluttered, “Oh! No. Just thinking about something, you know how it is after the adrenaline crashes!” A half truth was better than a lie, right?

“If you’re sure.”

———

Things were a little colder between them after that.

Sure, they still ate together, worked out together, and enjoyed each other‘s company. But how could she open up to Ada if Ada was not open to her? And why should Ada open up to her if she wasn’t staying? Did she want to stay?

Dani kept promising herself she would talk to someone about it. She was putting up walls and shutting Ada out – and she hated to see that hurt look flash cross their face. Dani hated hurting them. Dani loved them. But would she stay for them?

Her maman needed her. And it wasn’t fair to expect Jordan to step up all the time. Was she a bad daughter if she likes keeping away from her maman? Was that the reason enough to stay?

Was she just using Ada as an escape?

All that roiled in Dani’s gut as they flew across North America.

They caught a flight to Anchorage, to Portland, to Minneapolis, to DC, irritatingly down to Atlanta, and then finally to Newark, where Jordan picked them up. The cheapest flight plan wasn’t always the best flight plan.

Ada, who hadn’t been out of the state since college (partly due to Covid) basically had her face pressed to the window the entire time, especially when they crossed over the desert.

Dani had to laugh. Maybe next time they could stop in Las Vegas. If there was a next time. Dani did not have to laugh anymore.

To her surprise, Jordan looked older. More mature. They texted and called occasionally when she was in Alaska, but Dani had not realized how much he had become an adult. And it didn’t look like a weight on him.

She hugged him, long and hard. “I missed you! She cried. “I swear, you weren’t this tall when I left you.”

Being a whole 2 inches taller than his older sister and proud of it, Jordan gave her a noogie.

“Hey, not the hair!”

Jordan turned to Ada. “Hey,” he said, holding out a hand.

Ada reached to shake it, but Jordan withdrew his at the last second, sweeping it over his cornrows and lifting his left hand to cup his chin and smirk.

Okay, maybe he had not matured that much.

“You won’t help with the bags?” Jordan said, already grabbing two bags and hauling them towards his backseat.

It was a tight fit in the two hours it took to get back to Cottington.

Being laconic over the phone, but verbose in person, Jordan filled her in on all the family drama that their maman had forgotten to share.

“What do you MEAN, Sienna got into Princeton?! Is that why she’s ghosting me? Too good for the likes of a Rowan girl?”

Jordan sucked his teeth. “Man. I don’t know. She hasn’t been returning my calls or texts either.”

They all laughed at that.

“This is it!” Dani exclaimed as Jordan pulled in front of the house. “Let’s hit the hay, I am beat.” She grabbed both suitcases beside her, excitement beating exhaustion.

The door was unlocked, so she burst into the house. As per usual, her maman was in her armchair. But to Dani’s surprise, she actually got up. “Dah-nee-el-la!” The woman opened her arms wide. “Oh mon fille, you’re home!”

“Maman!” Dani could believe help could not help but get a little teary.

They hugged.

Maman let go first. “Now where is she? That Ada girl? Oh!” She dropped Dani like she was yesterday‘s news. “Oh, you must be Ada. You look so strong, so pretty. Though the silver bits in your mouth –” she plucked at one of them, causing Ada to yelp. Mama and sucked her teeth. “Well, nobody’s perfect. Still!” She turned back to Dani. “You’ll make even more money.”

Ada looked at Dani wide-eyed over Maman’s head – all were short, but her maman was by far the shortest – and Dani shook her head and rolled her eyes. Ada winked in understanding and went back to surviving the woman’s chatter. Her stomach rumbled audibly.

“Oh yes, and you must be starving! Tell me, do you like hot food? Dani only likes it mild, she must’ve gotten that from her father –” Maman lead them all to the kitchen, whereupon a small feast laid.

“I just thought the island food was like. Fresh fruit and pork. Maybe some fish.” Ada whispered to Dani, eyes wide, and nose at work.

Dani giggled. “Not Dominican food, babe.” She grabbed an accra. “Try this first. I told my maman you were a foodie.”

Maman had brought out the good stuff. She was a great cook, but rarely did she pull out all the stops. She must have caught a train to Philadelphia to get the ingredients this fresh, this flavorful - this Dominican.

There were grilled breadfruit strips, fried in coconut oil, accra to the side – ready to be eaten with the fish and sweet and spicy goat stew, and of course, the crêpes.

“Crêpes are more of a breakfast food, said Jordan in between stuffing his face. “But they’re Dani and Maman’s favorite, so she made them for dinner. She really pulled out all the stops with this one!”

“Yeah, we don’t usually have this much meat.” Dani said, daintily wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“But when my Dani comes home after being gone for so long –”

Dani could feel THAT little needle.

“- and she brings home such a pretty girl, I wanted to spoil her.” Maman grabbed both Dani and Jordan’s cheeks. “Not that they aren’t spoiled enough.”

“Maman!” The sibling said in unison.

Ada, who could not get enough of, well, anything, nodded politely, mouth quite full. Her eyes were watering, but Dani could see the excitement there too. Finally, she swallowed. “I must say, Ms. Romain, youre cooking is inspiring. Would you mind sharing the recipes with me?”

“Please, call me Patience.” Maman grabbed Dani‘s arm. “You better keep this one. Mon Dieu, she could make up for your lack of charm!”

Dani flushed angrily, but did not say anything, as did Ada. Her maman was a master at blending a compliment with an insult.

———

How could she keep Ada?

———

They went to Great Adventure. They went to New York City and saw The Wiz. They went out with her friends and cousins. They visited a friend’s petting zoo farm. All these things.

Dani enjoyed herself. She could tell Ada was having a blast.

But every night, Dani’s dreams, when she got to see them at all, were plagued with questions. How could she be with someone if they couldn’t be honest with each other? If they couldn’t be themselves with with each other? How could she love them this much and not be sure if she could stay? If she could leave her maman, forever?

Maman had been high energy that first night, but her chronic pain made itself quite known during the following week. Every day, after all their activities (With the exception of their day in NYC. Her papa was home that evening and he brought pizza). Dani would get home and be expected to make dinner. She could make a mean crab farci, but she did not take joy in cooking like her mama or Ada.

Her maman’s pain and love were real, but as Dani grappled with her own dishonesty and commitment questions towards Ada, the old anxieties and irritations of home reared their ugly heads.

Her maman would bark orders at her, and fawn on Jordan the next. She had been away from home for over six months, and yet she had to cook for the household again? God, she loved her maman, but hate and love were not opposites. They were two sides of the same coin.

As Dani trudged upstairs to bed, hands wrinkled from washing dishes, her maman called to her. “Dah-nee-el-la!”

Dani groaned internally and turned around. Her parents’ bedroom was on the first floor. “Yes, Maman?”

“This house is a mess. You will help Jordan and I clean in the morning.”

That meant Dani would have to get up at six to clean while Maman supervised and occasionally wiped off counters. Jordan might wake up in time to maybe sweep and take out the trash before he had to go to work.

Dani turned to go. “Oui, maman. Bon swé.”

“Bon swé. Je t’aime bien.”

“Mon aussi, je t’aime.” She meant what she said, but wished she did not.

———

Nearly everything went as she expected, much to Dani’s displeasure. 6 AM wake up, clean up for a couple hours, and then Jordan took the trash out before he went to work, apologetically smiling. Ada woke up halfway through and joined in, making Dani love her all the more, though Maman looked on disapprovingly.

Their last fun day was to be spent at the beach. Ada didn’t know how to swim, and Dani’s hair had just been redone, so they didn’t spend much time under the water. Still, they splashed and got a bit burned - despite using sunscreen, both forgot to lotion their ears - and ate overpriced ice cream and fried Oreos.

“I can feel my arteries wheezing their death rattles,” Ada said while stuffing another Oreo in her mouth “I need a salad, stat!”

Dani snorted. “There’s no saving you now. Your palate will forevermore be unclean.”

Ada died.

Dani slid her remaining Oreos over.

Miraculously, Ada came back to life to take them back just as thunder cracked in the sky.

“Snap, that looks like it’s moving in fast!” Dani said. It wasn’t raining on them just yet, but she heard the pattering of precipitation and saw a sheet of darkness fall and saw a sheet of darkness fall a mile down the boardwalk.

The same direction as her car, of course.

She grabbed Ada’s hand. “Come on!”

Everybody started fleeing, much to the couple’s dismay, the crowd moving against them. Apparently everyone else had parked in the opposite direction.

When the two finally found the car, it was cold and the wind was whipping. A sheet of rain rapidly approached the vehicle.

“Beat you there!” Ada challenged, and ran to the car.

Dani cursed and ran too.

Ada had already reached the car and was pulling on the doorhandle. They turned to Dani. “Come on,” they whined. “Let me in.”

Huffing and puffing to the driver’s side, Dani hit the unlock button. But only once, so only the driver’s side was unlocked. She slid in.

“Jezebel!”

The rain was only two cars away.

Smiling, Dani unlocked the door.

Ada slid in, frowning. “Evil woman,” she groused as the rain hit the car.

“I don’t start things,” Dani flipped her twists over her shoulder. “I just finish them.”

Ada sniffed delicately. “You better not leave me out in the cold again.”

Dani laughed hollowly at the words that reminded her of the questions that plagued her each night. “I’m sorry, babe. Let’s go to the house.”

Ada reached for a kiss, and Dani barely returned it. It was too much. She hated seeing the hurt on Ada’s face – so she did not look.

———

Their full morning in New Jersey was spent hanging out with her maman and any family who stopped by. With a farewell that part of Dani wished had come sooner, the couple left her family’s house.

Their flight was at 9 AM the next day, and her old friend Annika live close to the Newark airport. As such, she had voluntold her husband Antonio to drive them to the airport the following morning.

So, the two took an Uber to Annika‘s house.

“I’d take you myself,” Annika said over the phone, laughing, “but I’m just too big to fit behind the wheel anymore!”

It was true. When they arrived at Annika and Antonio‘s house, the woman had to waddle out. She was tall, but her husband was tall – tall. Dani did not want to know how big that baby would be at nine months.

“I’m not sure that baby blanket I packed is going to be big enough,” she whispered to Ada from the backseat.

Ada snorted.

“Dani!!!” Squealed Annika as she made her her way down from the porch, carefully.

“Nika!” Dani squealed back, getting out of the car and forgetting her bags. She rushed over and slowed down, just before impact, going in for a side hug and a cheek kiss instead. “How are you?”

“Ah well, the baby is coming along. It was beating me up earlier, the little stinker.” The woman caressed her stomach with a slight wince. “I’m surprised I’m not lack and blue yet!”

Dani chuckled. “That’s great and all, but I asked about you, not the kid.”

“Oh!” Annika smiled. “I feel like a bumper car, I can hardly walk, and I only ever feel like sleeping or crying. But I’m also bored and tired of waiting. Does that make sense?”

“Sorry to interrupt, Dani, but I don’t have the app and the driver wants us to pay.” Ada butted in, embarrassed.

“Oh sorry babe, I’ll go get that.” Dani squeezed Annika once again and rushed over to the driver, phone in hand.

“So you are the famous Ada!” Dani heard her over her shoulder.

———

The rest of the afternoon, all three chitchatted and played monopoly, too tired or too pregnant to do much else. Antonio got home and made them burgers – Annika‘s favorite, aside from sushi, which she wasn’t allowed to have due to the fetus.

“I miss it, I really do!” said Annika, eyes watering.

Antonio’s eyebrows rose with alarm.

“After the kid is out, I’d love to come up and try some of your qassaq, Ada. It sounds divine!”

Antonio cast his eyes pleadingly over at Ada.

But Ada never needed any encouragement to share their cooking. “I’d love to make some for you! You should absolutely come up, we’d be glad to have you.” They glance to her stomach. “Once the baby is ready, of course.”

“Of course!” Annika said.

Dani could see the relief flooding Antonio‘s face. “And on that note, does anyone want dessert?”

Ada declined, looking at her phone and saying that she wanted to hit the hay early. She went upstairs with a “Thank you, you two! It was nice meeting you!” Dani was pretty sure her girlfriend was actually not going to sleep just yet, considering this sheepish look on her face. She probably just saw an update notification for a fanfic she liked.

Antonio graciously got both Annika and Dani ice cream, waving off her thanks with a “It’s habit now.” Then he went to bed, probably to actually go to sleep.

Annika was a night owl – Dani remembered how they both stayed up 37 hours one weekend when the two were eleven, just because they could. Being a medical professional now, Dani winced at the thought. Both had improved their sleeping habits, but to say Annika was cured would be laughable.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Does it have many flashing lights? My head is still spinning a bit from the amusement park.”

There had been a light malfunction on a dark ride and Dani was pretty sure she almost had a seizure. Which would have gotten her stuck in NJ, meaning a bunch of breach of contract, meaning her decision about Ada would have been temporarily made for her. SHE wanted to make the decision. Even if her decision at that moment was to put off said decision.

“It’s animated, but I looked it up earlier and some parenting site said it’s decently epilepsy safe. There’s a few fireworks, and some characters made of fire, but no strobing, or big flashy changes!”

Dani narrowed her eyes. “Are you trying to get me to watch that elements movie again?”

Annika pouted. “It’s like, the best movie of 2023 and you didn’t even watch it!”

“You know I don’t watch a lot of kids movies.”

Annika thought for a moment. “I’m pregnant, and you need to see this movie.”

“Your logic is astounding,” Dani said dryly. “Okay. Put it on.”

———

Dani had gone into the movie expecting to endure it. Instead, she began to draw … similarities to herself.

By the end, they were both weeping. “It’s like me with the farm a couple years ago!” exclaimed Annika. Then she blew her nose, and offered the tissue box to Dani.

“I think it’s like. My maman and I. But nicer.” Dani took a tissue.

“Mhm.” Annika snatched the box back to herself. “And you know,” her voice suddenly turned sly. “I think somebody in your life is a little like Wade.”

“Oh, shut up.” Dani balled up her tissue and threw it at Annika’s head, who squawked an indignation. “What do you know, anyway?”

Annika smiled and tapped close to her eye, creepily reminding Dani of the Beldame from Coraline. “Mother’s intuition.”

“It hasn’t even been born yet!”

Annika shrugged. “You can’t help with sneak glances at her, even this far into the relationship. You desperately wanted your mom to like her, which I don’t think she even met any of your previous partners.”

“That’s more because of her than –”

“And it looks like you’re keeping secrets, and it’s killing you.” Annika caught Dani’s eye with a long steady look. “This isn’t just a fling for you.”

Dani looked away first, unable to hold her gaze. “I’m not even sure if I should stay in Qikiqtaġruk,” she said to the floor. “Why should I make any drama if I can’t even stay.” She started to weep.

Annika opened her arms, and Dani nestled into her side. Annika gave pretty good backrubs – her calluses from work, always scratching Dani‘s back just right. “Let’s not talk about should, or would, or can.” Annika said. “Let’s just talk about want.”

“I know what I don’t want.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want to let anyone down. But I don’t want to take care of my maman – I’m 27 for God’s sake! She loved on me the first day, and then it was like I never left!” She thought for a moment. “Plus I want to keep my girlfriend. She is pretty cool.” They both chuckled. “And I don’t want to leave all that pressure on Jordan. And it feels wrong to kind of leave Ada hanging.” Dani sighed. “I just don’t know what to do, and it’s biting me in the butt. Ada and I had a great time this trip, but I kind of held them at arm’s length. And Ada definitely saw that.”

Annika chewed on this. “Your mom doesn’t put things on Jordan the way she does on you, does she?”

Dani shook her head.

“Maybe you should ask him what it’s been like for him, instead of assuming. Either he gets out of it, or he found a way to keep her happy that works for him. Maybe … the workload changes when you’re not here.” Annika sneezed.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks. Anyway, when you start feeling like a family member is a burden –”

“It means you’re a crap person, and –”

“No! It means you need time away from them! To reevaluate and appreciate each other and stuff. I got to know my parents and like them a lot better when I moved out for college and stayed out! And you, you never had that. Until now. And with a person who looks at you like you hung the moon.” Her voice softened. “You had a terrible taste before this. All your exes were way less fulfilling, and more toxic than nuclear waste. I don’t know what compelled you to get with this person, but they’re keeper.” The woman grinned. “Especially since you still have a gooey look when I say their name. AdaAaAa!”

Dani’s face did not change. She made sure of it.

“AdaAaAa,” Annika repeated, this time poking Dani in the side.

“Hey! Cheating.”

Annika rolled her eyes like SHE was not the childish one. “Anyway, the only person you need to be worried about disappointing, is yourself. I know you love New Jersey, and me, obviously and me, obviously,” the pregnant woman put her hand on her own chest. “But I don’t think it’s enough to make you content, let alone happy.”

“I miss you,” Dani offered.

“I miss you too,” Annika squeezed her. “But it’s not like we can’t see each other. And besides,” she laughed. “With the time difference, I’m sure the baby will keep me awake long enough to call you, if this kid is anything like me.”

They both laughed at that.

“Oh! Hold on.” Dani got up and found the gift bag she’d been hiding up in her room. She waved at Ada, who was indeed reading on their phone, and went downstairs. “For you,” she said, holding out the gift bag.

She saw the water in Annika‘s eyes and she handed over the tissue box as well.

“What’s this?” Annika sniffled.

“It’s for the baby. From when Ada and I were in Utqiagvik. I saw this adorable booth selling things like this and I knew you’d love it.”

“I do,” wailed Annika, who hadn’t even opened it and was reaching for more tissues.

“Nika. Look in the bag.”

After a bit more sniffling, Annika finally opened the bag. “Oh my God, it’s too cute!” Annika practically shoved some tissues up her nose to avoid getting snot on the beautiful blanket. “My mom has this cradle her dad carved for her when she was a baby, and she put my brother and I in there when we were babies for pictures and, and, and,” she blew her nose again. “I am totally putting my baby in there with this blanket. Oh my God, thank you, Dani!”

Dani just hugged her.

———

Dani helped Annika settle on the couch. The doctors had said minimal stairs, and the couch was nice, so the woman slept there most nights.

After helping her friend, Dani went to bed. She had a lot to think about.

———

At 4 AM, Dani smacked the alarm.

Ada snorted, but snuggled back into her pillow and went back to sleep.

Dani sighed with relief. She slowly got up and dressed, packing both their things into the car (Annika said she could borrow it), only leaving each of their handbags with change of clothes in their room. Then she grabbed Wawa for breakfast, a last little New Jersey treat before returning to Alaska.

At 5 AM, she shook Ada awake. “Babe, wake up.” She planted a kiss on her themfriend’s cheek. “I want to show you something.”

Ada stretched and nodded, sleep still clouding her vision, and trudged off to the bathroom. At 5:20, Ada finally got her butt downstairs, where Dani was champing at the bit.

“Babe, come on, we’re going to miss it!”

Ada yawned as she closed the door, then fixed her eyes upon the Wawa bag. “What do you have there?” She woke up a bit.

“A reward for after we get to the beach. Come on!”

“Why are we going to the beach? I don’t think it’s safe at right now, it bei dark and all. And you didn’t tell me to get in my swimsuit!”

“You’ll see. Just come on already! Before it gets hot and you melt again.”

“In my defense, it’s stupid humid in New Jersey. I don’t know why anyone wants to live here.”

Both giggled as their flip-flops hit the sand path through the dunes. The birds were singing their sunrise songs, and already catching bits of seeds and bugs.

The couple reached the surf. Dani sat down carefully, cursing herself for not bringing a towel, and beckoned for Ada to sit too. “So I actually brought you here for two reasons.”

Ada suddenly looked guarded. “Oh?”

Dani swallowed around the lump in her throat. “Yes. First, I wanted to show you the dawn on the ocean. It’s pretty cool, and… I know you like sunset picnics back home.”

Ada smiled. “I do.”

“And… I think I’ve been dishonest. And kind of … noncommittal. And I hate that, and I want to respect your time and –” Dani realized she was rambling. “–And I know you can turn into a polar bear.”

Ada‘s eyebrows almost reached her hairline, and her mouth opened in shock. Whatever she had expected to hear, it was not that. “What?”

Dani felt all the blood rush from her face. “When you walked to our second date – I saw you. Walk up with the sled. And again – when you broke down my door? Polar bear. And – and, when you talked to your mom that night after Nalukataq!”

Ada’s face was stone.

Dani panicked. “And I think it’s totally cool and I didn’t tell anybody and I wasn’t sure if you knew that I know or if you’d be mad especially since –”

“So you’re afraid of me?”

“What?” The word vomit stopped.

“Have you been afraid of me, this whole time? Is that why you always say yes?” Ada stood up, hands shaking. Her voice remained quiet. “Is that why we’re dating? Too afraid to tell this giant, man-eating beast no, unless you’re in your home territory?” Their voice broke. “Do you … not love me?”

Now what it was Dani’s turn to be shocked. “What? No!” She grabbed Ada‘s hand.

It was the wrong move.

Ada’s eyes went impossibly wide with fear, and quicker than Dani could track, they were a polar bear, and Dani was holding air. They turned to run into the ocean, but Dani swallowed her fright at the change and jumped in front of Ada.

“Ada,” Dani worked hard to keep her hands by her side. She desperately wanted to hold her love’s face. Even with the teeth, the fur, the sudden immensity, she saw Ada and those eyes.

“Ada,” she repeated. “I love you. All of you. I just don’t want there to be secrets between us.” Dani closed her eyes and breathed in Ada, and after a moment, Ada breathed her in too. A kunik.

To the east, dawn bloomed.

Ada transformed back. “I can’t speak when I’m using my Nanuq Atiq, they explained hesitantly. “I – are you … sure?”

The tension in Dani’s gut roiled into laughter. “Babe, I’m moving to Alaska permanently. What do you think?”

Tears welled in Ada’s eyes. “You what? You’re staying?”

“You bet, babe. I’ll figure it out with Maman.” Dani was tearing up too. “So you better not be planning on getting rid of me.”

“Okay,” Ada choked out, laughing between tears. “Okay.”

They sat silently, watching the sunrise.

———

“Jordan? Hey,” Dani said at the O’Hare airport lounge. Her arms were crossed over her chest, AirPods in

“What’s up, Dani? You made it to the airport okay?” He sounded sleepy but concerned.

“Yup! All good on that front. I’m in Chicago. But I wanted to talk to you about Maman.”

“Maman?”

“Yeah,” Dani heaved a breath. “You know … she treats me differently than you, right?”

A long silence, then, “If this is about me not helping you clean, I’m sorry, Dani. This was like the one week the cleaninglady couldn’t come in, and they were all these emergencies, and –”

“She let you hire a cleaning lady?” Dani’s hurt and anger rose up. “She never let me do that. Said it was a waste of money, didn’t want any strangers in her her house.”

Jordan was silent for a moment. “Did she not tell you?” He said quietly, angrily. “The compensation from the doctor who misdiagnosed her finally came in.” He cleared his throat. “She pays for a cleaning lady, a nurse and a meal service now.”

Dani was burning up. “I’m not coming back. I’m staying in Alaska.”

“What?! Listen, I thought she told you. I thought you liked taking care of her!”

“I literally moved thousands of miles to get away from her!” She yelled.

The whole lounge looked over.

Ada stood up behind her and squeezed her shoulder. Dani put her hand on top of Ada’s, just holding on.

“I – I didn’t think. Jordan said lamely.

“When did she get the compensation?”

“What?

“When did she get the compensation?”

Jordan went silent. “A few weeks before you decided to move. I thought that was why you went. Because it was okay now.”

“It was never okay, Jordan. Dani hissed. “I barely survived, keeping things as she liked and perfect for when you and Dad get home.” She swallowed her fury. “I get to live my life now, Jordan. I love you, Papa and Maman. But I’m disappointed in you all.”

Dani could hear him crying through the phone. Some big sister part of her wanted to make it stop, hated herself for making her baby brother cry.

But the truth needed to be said.

“I love you, Jordan,” she repeated. “And I always will. Call me if you need me or have a question about Maman‘s care. I’m not gone forever.”

A sniffle. “I don’t think maman is going to get better.”

Dani pressed her hand to her mouth to cover up her sob. Her breath hitched anyway. “I don’t think so, either. I’ll come help when she – when it happens. But for now, I need some space.”

Another sniffle. “OK, Dani. A beat, then, “I’m sorry I never stepped in for you. I know she and Papa were always,” sniff, “harder on you than me.”

“Thanks, J, she said simply. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Text me when you’re back safe?”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Ada came around and hugged her tight. “Do you need to go and clean up?” She asked, nodding her head to the bathroom.

Dani nodded, trying really hard to hold her tears back.

Ada grabbed their stuff, sacrificing their seats to a young couple with two children who had been loudly complaining about the lack of seats and that parents had it hard.

Ada helped her clean up and kissed her when it was done. “You okay?”

Dani shook her head and held her forehead against Ada’s, just breathing her in. “About this? I probably won’t ever be, not completely. But thank you.” She leaned back and shook a finger. “Don’t you start psychoanalyzing me, doctor. Conflict of interest.”

Ada chuckled, their warmth soaking into Dani’s heart like a bomb. “I’m still working on that doctor part, darling.”

“Oh, so it’s all right then.”

Together, they rejoined the lounge, and resigned themselves to standing. They’d be sitting for the rest of the day on the plane, anyway.

———

To Dani and Ada‘s delight, the flight attendant informed them that they had been bumped up to first class for their flight straight to Anchorage.

The loud family who stole their lounge seats looked at them with poison in their hearts.

Dani and Ada did not care.

———

Dani and Ada had both been busy at work, Dani catching up on her hours and Ada catching up on her patients. It was August when they finally had a time where both were free, neither were tired and it was a clear sky.

“The long sunsets are going away.” Dani observed as they walked towards the where the Pacific Ocean became the inlet.

“Yes, but tonight’s perfect for the for seeing a really good aurora. You ready?”

“You bet, babe.”

The two eventually settled in a clear spot, the wind gently whipping away the genuine heat of that day.

Dani pulled out some curry colombo and crab farci, the spices for which she brought home in her luggage from New Jersey. She was finally getting into cooking for herself.

Ada pulled out some slightly thawed kumlaneq and niinamayak. The niinamayak tasted just right when thrown in with the curry – and Ada had been working on her spice tolerance.

They ate peace for a while.

Then Ada turned away. “I can’t tell you everything.” She finally said, face hidden.

“Huh?”

“I can’t tell you all my secrets,” Ada said. “Some of them are things I share. My family’s berry patches, I won’t share with anyone except with any kids I have. The secrets my patients tell me. Even what my dad likes to put in uquq to make it so sweet. But everything I can’t tell you, I’ll tell you that I have to hold back if you ask. And everything else, is yours.” She turned away to grab a crêpe.

Dani gently put her hand on Ada‘s shoulder and kissed her. “Thank you. That’s enough for me, babe. I’ll do the same for you.” Then she handed Ada some jam. “Finally the famous nagoonberry jam! You made me wait months for this!”

Ada took it and thanked her. “You ready?”

“You bet!”

The hype was not unfounded. It was naturally sweet – Dani could tell hardly any sugar was added – and a little savory. Ada’s aata Greg probably couldn’t resist cutting in a little uquq. There was hardly any citrus taste, just enough to heighten the sweetness - it was clearly added by someone who knew their jam. It also tasted slightly of the sea – there was a good chance Greg had sourced the salt from the ocean to get just the right taste.

“This is delicious! I can’t believe you would hold this out on me!”

Ada grinned. “I owed Barry a lot for a favor he did me a couple years ago. I just finished paying it off, then he introduced me to you.” They winked. “Looks like I owe him again. Better memorize the taste – he’s got one hell of a sweet tooth. You probably won’t be getting any for a while.”

“No, this is mine now. He can get his own,” Dani said with a devilish smile. She glanced up and - “Oh my God! It’s here!”

The couple laid back on the blanket and watch the aurora dance its way across the sky.

It made Dani’s heart feel light, and strange.

She squeezed at Ada’s hand. “I think the only thing more beautiful than this is you.”

Ada spluttered, then smiled and gave her a kunik. “You're cheesy.”

Dani gave her one back. “And yet it works on you.”

Ada squeezed her hand and turned back to the lights above them. “To us.”

“To us,” Dani echoed.

And the aurora danced on.

———

This post is VERY long, so I split up the glossary and the explanation. Enjoy!

Glossary

Explanation

The following are footnotes from within the story

⁂ A dual form is the term that specifically refers to two objects. Like how with English, adding an -s to the end of a noun makes it plural, but Iñupiaq has a way to make it clear that there’s just two nouns, and not one or many.

So one person is Iñupiaq, two people are Iñupiak, and any more than that is Iñupiat. Same q/k/t rules apply to most nouns. The language is referred to as Iñupiaq. The Iñupiat people are neighbors and cousins of the Inuit, but are a different culture entirely. Same thing with the Yup’ik.

† There’s a cool book called, ‘The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian’ by Sherman Alexie. It’s about a Spokane Indian* boy named Arnold who learns to code-switch (change himself to fit within one’s original culture and that of the majority) to survive going to a better school off his reservation. It’s meant for young teens and up, and it’s totally worth the read. I’m pretty sure it was my introduction to modern Indigenous characters - historically, they usually only portrayed in conjunction with early colonization efforts, AKA the cowboy genre and the like, from the point of view of the colonizers.

*Indigenous is a rallying, unifying term for (generally) all peoples originally found in lands that were so heavily colonized that they are now the minority. So the Koori of Australia are Indigenous, but the Akan people of Ghana are not, despite both being colonized. Indigenous in this usage is fairly new. Usually if someone uses that term as a self descriptor, they’re young. It unifies peoples from all over the world.

Native American is a legal term to describe all peoples with ‘enough’ blood connection to the Indigenous people of the contiguous United States of America, where the blood quantum is determined by the state and not by actual connection to those cultures. This is a huge problem that legally separates actual Indigenous people from their cultures and rights just because someone(s) in their family married outside the culture. Most Indigenous people do not like to be called this, but would prefer it over slurs or inaccurate guesses.

Indian (or American Indian or Amerindian) is the historical term that many older Indigenous people use as another pan-Indigenous rallying term. While many do not like it or the inaccuracy and bloody history behind calling Indigenous Americans (both continents) ‘Indians’, a lot of people were upset when the (USA**) government changed the legal term to Native American. It’s because they did not get a choice in the matter. So many people still use it because they decided it’s their word to reclaim (which it totally is). However, mostly Indigenous people within the USA have reclaimed the word - in other areas it is a non-issue or is considered rude or out-dated. And it’s more popular with older people.

**Other modern countries in the Americas do/used to call their Indigenous peoples Indians. Some have kept that name (such as Chile, though they say ‘Indios’, which is Indians in Spanish), some have not. For example, the Indigenous peoples of modern-day Canada are now called ‘First Nations’ by the Canadian government, but were once called Indians.

So to review: Indigenous is the younger identity word that covers all populations that were colonized and are now a minority in their historical lands. Native American is the legal term as used by the United States for Indigenous peoples originally from nations in the contiguous USA. And Indian is the preferred term by older Indigenous people in those areas. The label ‘Eskimo’ is also preferred in a similar fashion for the Inuit people, and more broadly, the Indigenous peoples of Alaska and north/western Canada. See footnote 5 later in the story for the idea in context.

However, the most polite thing to do is to not mention anybody’s ethnicity unless they bring it up themselves. If you must talk about it, then use the most specific terms possible to be polite. That’s why I mention that Arnold in that book is Spokane, and did not use the very loose term ‘Native American’.

❧ So there’s the Indigenous Kalinago people of the island of Dominica. They were once called Caribs - and thus the Caribbean Sea was named - but that was from a misunderstanding on Christopher Colombus’s part. Carib likely just meant ‘brave warrior’. So in 2015, the people legally changed their name to Kalinago, their original name. Kalinago is the plural form, and Karifuna is the singular form. So Dani is Karifuna, and Dani, her maman and her brother Jordan are Kalinago.

∵ A kunik is like a greeting kiss in terms of intimacy. But it’s not just for romantic partners. One (or two! It can be mutual!) people will hold their nose close to the other’s skin, and breathe them in. It’s like loving someone so much, one just has to breathe their atiq, their spirit, in. A lot of ***Alaskan Native Peoples practice this, as their mouths were often covered outside during the long winter months (to keep water and warmth in). An ‘Eskimo kiss’ is a bastardized version of a kunik - it does not usually involve rubbing noses together.

***Alaskan Native is a legal term for the Indigenous peoples of Alaska. They get slightly different rights and restrictions by identifying as such and not ‘Native American’. The Indigenous Hawaiian (Native Hawaiian) people have a similar deal with the USA government. Both Indigenous Alaskans and Hawaiians prefer this legal distinction - while both got the shorter end of the stick, they still have a better deal with the government than the Indigenous peoples lumped under the category ‘Native American’. However, ‘Alaskan Natives’ prefer to be referred to their individual ethnicities (Yup’ik, Athabaskan, etc.) or Eskimo when relevant, and ‘Native Hawaiians’ prefer ‘Kānaka Maoli’, ‘Indigenous Hawaiians’ or just ‘Hawaiians’.

¤ This is an example of where older terms, such as Indian and Eskimo, are still used, because both Indigenous groups lumped under those old labels got to choose the name themselves. Despite ‘Native American’ and ‘Alaskan Native’ (respectively) being the legally correct terms according to the modern USA government, both groups like exercising their autonomy by sticking with the names they chose, despite the terms being legally out-dated. The WEIO’s name is a case where tradition and pride combine well.

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

Get to know me tag game

I was tagged by @pearlypairings and @justhere4thevibez (and y’all shoulda seen my face; I was like “omg TWO PEOPLE want to get to know me? 😭😂)

Your name: I’m old enough to remember being told not to give out my name on the internet 😜 call me lostsoul. Or brochacho. Whatever you feel like, I don’t mind.

Sun sign: um. I have Crohn’s disease. The only signs I’m interested in are the ones that direct me to the bathroom.

Last thing you listened to: I’ve got my soft rock playlist on right now and it’s Against All Odds by Phil Collins

What are you wearing: blue sweatpants and a pink shirt with polka dots

How tall are you: 5’5” (and yes, my 6’0” husband makes fun of me for being short)

Piercings: ears double pierced but never wear earrings since I never leave my house anymore

Tattoos: none, because I’m too chicken, but if I ever got one it would be the Rush Clockwork Angels clock, with tiny script along the hands that read “time is still the infinite jest”.

Glasses or contacts: glasses, although half the time I don’t wear them because I’m still in denial about being nearsighted

Last drink: ginger ale

Last thing you ate: I’m having spicy tuna sushi right now and it’s sooooo good!

Any pets: one dearly beloved cat who died in November but is still the kitty of my heart; and one half-sweet and half-psycho cat who likes to push his little furry face against mine and purr in my ear and then BITE MY NOSE. He’s a bastard but I adore him.

Do you have a crush on someone: I should say “my husband” but honestly we’re way past the cute stage and well into the comfortable and neither one cares that the other gained a few pounds stage of married life. I do, however, have a teeny crush on nearly every single fictional character I’ve ever written about

Favorite fictional characters: my current faves are Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham, El Hopper, Gareth Emerson, and Max Mayfield. This changes often. Favorites of all time include: Westley and Buttercup, Mulder and Scully, and Hamilton Burger from Perry Mason. He’s so dang whiny and it cracks me up every time I hear him go “your HONNNor!!!”

A movie you think everyone should watch: absolutely agree with Princess Bride, and I would like to add The Wedding Singer because it’s my all time favorite, and Arrival because it’ll really make you think, but not in a brain-hurty Inception kinda way.

A book you think everyone should read: Maniac Magee. Yes, it’s a kids book. No, I do not care, read it anyway. It’s SO stinkin good and also Jerry Spinelli has such a gorgeous way with words. I wish I could write like him.

The last place you traveled: also Lancaster, oddly enough, back in December

Tagging: anyone who sees this and wants to play!

[theycallmebaepsaeee7]

Tag

So thanks @bvidzsoo for tagging me in this 💖

RULES: answer these 85 statments about yourself then tag 20 people (lol, I don't have that amount of people to tag, so I'am tagging at least two people for sure)

Okay, so lets start.

LAST...?

1. Drink: water (I'am trying to be healthy)

2. Phone call: my mom

3. Text message: I think it was to my friend for asking when she will arrive at my house.

4. Song you listened: Troye Sivan - My My My!

5. Time you cried: actually I don't remember

EVER...?

6. Dated someone twice: I never dated anyone so yeah.

7. Kissed someone and regret it: no.

8. Been cheated on: yes, my cat sleeps in sister bed, not mine.

9. Lost someone special: yes, and actually not so long ago.

10. Been depressed: I don't know. Maybe.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no.

12. Favorite color: black.

13. Favorite color: blue.

14. Favorite color: gray.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU...?

15. Made new friends: hmm, I think I made some.

16. Fallen out of love: I think first you have to fall in love if you wanna fall out of love. I never have fallen in love. But now somehow I slowly falling for Johhny Seo. So we will see.

17. Laughed until you cried: yes, a lot of times. Because some of my friends are hilarious af.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: like talking shit behind your back? Then yes. People likes to talk about me and my life. It's like having paparazzi following your every move and step.

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, a few I think.

20. Found out who your friends are: I think.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friend list: ...yes...

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends you know irl: pretty much all of them.

23. Do you have any pets: yes, two cats and two dogs. And also thinking about third dog.

24. Do you want to change your name: If I was asked this question about 5 years ago I think I would have said yes. But now I love him. Because he was given to me for a reason.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: nothing, because I had to take exam on my birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 01:30 PM. Don't come at me. I'am sleepyhead, I love to sleep.

27. What where you doing at midnight last night: drinking pepsi and scrolling through Tumblr I think.

28. What is something you can't wait for: getting already that diploma and going to university.

29. Last time you saw your mother: about two hours ago, bc it's 02:40 in the morning so she sleeping already.

30. What are you listening to right now: The Revivalist- Wish I Knew You.

31. Have you ever talked to a Tom: yes.

32. Something that is getting on your nerves: for now it's not knowing all my exams scores and if I passed all of them.

33. Most visited website: YouTube and also Tumblr.

34. Hair color: dark brown.

35. Long or short hair: I always wanted long hair. But I have short, bc my hair is not growing very well. And that sucks.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, it's Johhny. And I'am not kidding.

37. What do you like about yourself: maybe my mind, my thoughts about certain things, and definetly my laugh. Bc he is weird and somehow unique idk.

38. Want any piercing: god, yes. But can't decide where I want first piercing.

39. Blood type: ask my mom, she knows I don't 😅😅

40. Nickname: in English it would be sunshine, baby, Elly, El but in my native language I have a few like Ingridutė(my real name tho), širdutė, Ingrūda(I hate this one, but my friends just loves to call me that).

41. Relation status: Reserved for Johhny and maybe Chanyeol.

42. Zodiac: gemini.

43. Pronounds: ????

44. Favorite TV shows: Teen Wolf, True Blood, Modern Family, Two Broke Girls and more.

45. Tattos: one day I will have couple of them. Can't wait that day.

46. Right or Left handed: Right.

47. Ever had surgery: no.

48. Piercings: just ears. For now...

49. Sport: dancing, karate and football.

50. Vocation: Egypt, Latvia, Poland. I fell in love with pyramids.

51. Trainers: I had football and karate trainer, and have two dance trainers.

MOST GENERAL

52. Eating: I like pancakes, ramen, salads. Also I really like sushi. I really LOVE lasagna. My mom even calls me Garfield. I love fruits. And also I like basic foods like spaghetti, sandwiches, eggs with bacon, pizza, burgers. In general I love food.

53. Drinks: can't imagine my life without coffee. Also like smoothies, juice, tea, soda and water.

54. I'am about to watch: another NCT crack video. I already lost count.

55. Waiting: for real graduation and some events.

56. Want: to travel around world, Johhny to fall in love with me, go to university.

57. Get married: one day maybe.

58. Career: guide with languages and history knowledge.

WHICH IS BETTER

59. Hugs or Kisses: definitely both. Hugs are addictive and so soft. And kisses is a must after some hugs. So yeah.

60. Eyes or lips: I think both equally.

61. Shorter or taller: I prefer taller ones at least by 5-8 cm. Bc I'am 1,65. So yeah, Johhny height is perfect. Gohhd, I think he would had to lift me if I wanted a kiss. God that's so romantic. And also hugs? I could bury my head in his chest and feel his heartbeat (sorry for this, I love Johhny).

62. Older or younger: like Lucas would say: Age doesn't matter. But I prefer older.

63. Nice arms or stomach: maybe both??

64. Hookup or relationship: never had neither. So idk. Maybe relationship is better?

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker?

HAVE YOU EVER

66. Kissed a stranger: I think yes.

67. Drank hard liquor: yes.

68. Turned someone down: yes, a few times.

69. Lost glasses: no, but I accidentally dropped into bonfire one time.

70. Sex on first day: idk.

71. Broken someone's heart: I guess not...

72. Had your heart broken: yes, multiple times.

73. Been arrested: um, no.

74. Cried when someone died: yes.

75. Fallen for friend: one time. And it was mistake.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...?

76. Do you believe in yourself: sometimes yes. But most of the time no. And don't know how to change that.

77. Love at firs sight: maybe yes.

78. Santa Claus: until 10.

79. Miracles: I try.

80. Angels: sort of, yes.

OTHER

82. Best friend name: Monika and Rugilė.

83. Eye colour: grayish.

84. Favourite movie: Captain America, The Maze Runner, The Fault In Our Stars, Divergent series, Dirty Dancing, Deadpool, The Devil Wears Prada, Star Trek and a lot more.

85. Favourite actor: Sebastian Stan, Ansel Elgort, Chris Evans, Chris Pine, Ryan Reynolds, Keira Knightley, Annie Hathaway, Meryl Streep and others.

I tagging @narika-a @yeoldalayhehoo @rxsejae @hipstaa-pleazz

[argyle-s]

The Shape of Things to Come Chapter 3/?

Rating:  Mature

Read at Ao3

Start at the Beginning

After a year in the past, Kara makes her public debut as Supergirl.

Chapter 3 - Rebirth

Notes:

In this story, Kara will occasionally lapse into Kryptonian. The first instance of this happens in this chapter. The Kryptonian in this story is taken from Doyle Kryptonian which is where most of the Kryptonian used on the show is taken from. Translation was done using the resources at Kryptonian.info, and I suspect the quality of the translation will vary widely.

In the earlier drafts of this story, I either didn’t use Kryptonian, or I wrote the sections in English and set it off using special formatting, but I was unhappy with that, so I went back and rewrote them in Kryptonian. The problem with that is, the Kryptonian sections were written out of order and my skill with the language (such as it is) has improved considerably over time.

I’ve tried to go back and fix any errors, but:

1). The dictionary is fragmentary and I’ve had to work around holes in the language, or when I couldn’t, construct new words with guesswork.

2). I am absolute shit at learning languages that are whole and functional, so one that only exists in fragmentary form is even worse.

Any errors are mine. Any weirdness with the language and phrasing is either me being an idiot, or an artifact of my take on how Kryptonian culture and religious beliefs would influence speech patterns. My Krypton sticks as close as possible to the show, but I have made huge changes from comic canon to make Krypton fit more closely with our current understanding of what the reality of life would be on a planet in order around a red sun.

Most translations are fairly literal translations, though the order of the words is different, because English uses a Subject Verb Object sentence structure, whole Kryptonian uses Verb Subject Object sentence structure (example: The sentence "Kara punched Maxwell Lord" would be "Punched Kara Maxwell Lord" in a Verb Subject Object language like Kryptonian). In some cases however, the meaning in English can vary from the literal translation. In those cases, I will give the literal translation first, followed by the Semantic Translation.

Two final notes.

1). I take it as a given that Alex speaks Kryptonian, because she grew up with Kara, and she spent two years fiddling with Kara's pod and the hologram, and anything in canon that says she doesn't will be cheerfully ignored because it's bullshit.

2). Kara *does* know how to swear, but she’s only good at it in Kryptonian.

Update: This story has now been betaed by @ifourmindbeso.  Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Kara Danvers’ Apartment. National City. Earth 38, October 8th, 2015

(One Year Later)

Kara opened the door to find a very annoyed J’onn standing there, glaring at her.

“Good morning,” she said brightly, waving him in.  She walked over to the kitchen and pulled down a package of Chocos and a glass, which she filled with milk.

“You do realize the DEO is not eHarmony for aliens, right?”

“Compatible Partners,” Kara said as she took a bite out of her pre-breakfast bagel.

“What?” J’onn asked as he picked up a cookie and dunked it in the milk.

“eHarmony only does listings for straight people.  Compatible Partners is the one for Gays and Lesbians.  Besides, I use Chemistry.com.”

“I don’t care if you used gayalienbootycall.com.  This arrangement is not so you can vet your dates.”

Kara sighed.  “J’onn, I am not *dating* Maggie Sawyer.  We’re just friends.”

“Oh, so you aren’t meeting her tonight at some place called Girlbar?”

“Well, yes, I am.  But I don’t date women who are still heartbroken over their ex-girlfriends.  Think of it as recruitment.”

J’onn held up his finger and started to say something, then stopped.  He started to speak again, but stopped, before finally just shaking his head.  “First you wanted me to do a full security clearance on that little computer nerd.  Now this.  How does any of this help us with your friends from Fort Rozz?”

“Winn helps because Winn is one of only six or seven hackers on the planet that can go toe to toe with a Coluan and come out on top, and unless you’ve suddenly managed to convince Victor Stone, Felicity Smoak or Rabiah Zinoman to sign up, we don’t have a lot of other options, because Tim Drake and Barbara Gordon are serious no-fly zones and the other two people who could potentially pull this off are definitely not on our side.  Maggie Sawyer, on the other hand, will give us an in with NCPD, which is going to be incredibly useful when it comes time to lay the smack down on Maxwell Lord.”

“You know, you keep talking like you’re in this fight, but so far, all you’ve done is sit on the sidelines and feed us a few names.”

“You’re mad about the armored car last night,” Kara said.

“You’re damn right I am.  Two agents in the hospital.  One of them may never walk again.  You could have stopped it, but instead, you’re fetching coffee for some-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, J’onn,” Kara said.  “You know nothing about Cat Grant and much as I like you, if you insult her in front of me, I will put your green ass through a wall.”

J’onn sighed and held up his hands in surrender.  “Fine.”

“Besides, you’re every bit as capable as I am, and you didn’t do anything to stop it either.  We both have our reasons for keeping secrets.”

“Yeah, but your case is a little different.”

“It is,” Kara said.  “But it would expose me while the leader of the escapees was away.  If that happened, there would have been open war in the streets.”

J’onn sat down on one of her stools and picked up another Choco, dunking it in his milk.  “You keep talking about this leader like you know him.”

“Her,” Kara said.

J’onn froze, with the cookie half way to his mouth.  His eyes narrowed.  “You do know her.”

“I do.  General Astra In-Ze, War Leader of the House of Ze, Daughter of In-Ze and Myara Bar-Ul, and twin sister of Alura Zor-El.”

“She’s your aunt?” J’onn said.

“Yes,” Kara said.

J’onn popped the cookie in his mouth and started chewing, and Kara watched the emotions playing over his face.

“I didn’t tell you until now, because I thought you might decide I was a security risk.”

“Then why tell me now?”

“Because this is the last thing I need from you before I openly declare myself.  Once Alex is safely out of the way in Geneva, little Kara Danvers is going to take the first of Astra’s heavy hitters off the board.”

“You have a plan?” J’onn asked.

“I do.  You’re probably not going to like it, but I do.”

He reached up and started rubbing his temples.  “What else is new?”

***

She smiled at Winn as he approached her with his tablet, walking beside her on her way to her desk.

“Did you see this?  There was an armored car robbery last night.  Now, there were no witnesses except this homeless guy who swears the perp had horns.”

“Thanks,” Kara said as she excepted a shipping tube from Brad with the proof of the new bus stop poster Cat needed to approve.

“Like, on his head,” Winn said as she turned back to him.

“Well, that’s usually where horns go,” she said.  “But you’re sure it wasn’t just a prominent brow ridge?

“Come on Kara, it’s an alien.”

“I don’t know, Winn.  I mean, Superman’s an alien, right?  He seems to look pretty normal.”

“Well, how do we know?  He could be hiding anything under that suit.”

Kara shrugged.  “Isn’t James Olsen taking over the art department today?  Maybe we could ask him.  They seem close.”

“Now you’re just making fun me.”

Kara shook her head as she sat down.  “Never.  Well, except for when you lose at Small World.”

“Hey, your sister cheats.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Fine,” Winn said, as he went over to his desk and sat down, pointedly turning his back to her, which gave her just enough privacy to zap Cat’s Latte with her heat vision.  “I won’t invite you to go see ‘The Martian’ with me then.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah,” he said, turning back to her.

“I can’t,” Kara said.  “Maggie and I are going to Girlbar.”

“Really?” Winn said, a grin on his face.  “When are you gonna introduce me to your hot cop girlfriend?”

“Winn,” Kara sighed.  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Winn shook his head.  “I never should have started you on Rizzoli & Isles.  Now I’m destined to lose my gaming buddy to some tall, dark Italian Detective with a smoky voice.”

Kara laughed.  “I told you I’m into blondes, but the medical examiner thing is just icky.  Besides, Maggie is Latina and shorter than you are, which is saying something since I’m pretty sure you get carded going into PG-13 movies”

“That hurts,” Winn said, putting his hand over his heart.  “That really hurts, Kara.”

“You were asking for it, standing there, being so short.”  She paused for a moment, then looked up.  “She’s here,” she said as she stood up, picking up her tablet and Cat’s Latte.

The elevator door opened, and Kara’s heart gave the same small little flutter that it always did when she saw Cat.

“Good morning, Ms. Grant,” she said, letting every bit of the happiness she felt come through.  She’d been in the past for a year, and seeing Cat walk off that elevator never got old.

She saw the small tug of a smile that pulled at Cat’s lips before she started on her tirade.  “The only reason I bought this building is because it has a private elevator.  That way, I don’t have to get soaked in cheap cologne every morning getting to my office.  Find out who used it, and have them reprimanded, or bathed.  I don’t care which.��

Kara just nodded as she followed Cat into her office.  “Here’s your Latte, Ms. Grant.  Hot.”

Cat took it from her.  “As always,” she said.  “I have a meeting with the board today at lunch, so cancel sushi with my Mother.”

“Got it.  Should I also cancel your therapist, since you aren’t seeing your Mother?”

“Good idea, Keira,” she said, then took a sip of the Latte. “Hmmm…  This tastes different.”

“Noonan’s was out of hazelnut so I got you almond instead.  I hope that’s okay.”

“I don’t hate it, but do have a talk with the management down there.  If they’re going to take up space in CatCo plaza, they should at the very least be able to keep their supplies stocked.  Also, I’ve emailed you a list.  Prepare termination letters for the Tribune as noted.”

“Oh.  Ms. Grant, I’ve been thinking about that and I’d like to make a recommendation.”

“You’ve been thinking about a decision you knew nothing about until ten seconds ago?” Cat asked.

“I’ve been thinking about it since the financials came in back in January.  The Daily Planet’s the only print newspaper that isn’t taking a beating, and that’s pretty much entirely Superman’s doing.  They put him on the cover something like fifty-three percent of the time.”

“Are you going to tell me something I don’t know, Keira?”

Kara nodded her head.  “Well, we already do a lot of content sharing with digital, but I was thinking, why not merge the Tribune with digital entirely and try doing an interactive newspaper.”

“And how, exactly would that work?”

“A smartphone app.  We could put QR codes at the end of each story, which link up to a digital expansion of the story.  It’s sort of a hybrid monetization model.  Digital gets the basic story for free, but people who buy the tribune get free access to the expanded story content, but digital-only users have to subscribe to get the expanded content.”

“Hmmm…  That’s actually an interesting idea, but it doesn’t solve the immediate issues with circulation and it will increase the editorial load.”

“Not if we’re sharing the content across digital and print.  We can even tie in to broadcast by including video segments as part of the expanded articles behind the pay wall.  And the best part is, we can do a hybrid subscription model as well.  Customers can choose to watch an ad before the video segment and have inline ads embedded in the expanded article, or they can pay for the content to get it ad free.  We’d have to eat the losses on the Tribune while we restructured and built out the new workflow, but it would save a lot of jobs and we’d be ahead of the curve on digital and print integration.”

Cat stared at her for a minute, then nodded.  “Hold off on the letters for now.  Type this up as a proposal and go get me the layouts from the new art director.”

Kara grinned. “The proposal is already in your drop box.  I added it last night.  I’ll go get you the layouts now, Ms. Grant.”

***

She stepped into James’ office with no small amount of trepidation.  Her relationship with James was one of the biggest regrets of her previous life.  It wasn’t that she hadn’t been attracted to him.  She liked guys well enough, from a purely physical stand point.  She mainly told people she was a lesbian because homoromantic bisexual was confusing to a lot of them and that was before she even got into questions of species.  The problem with James was, she’d been more in love with the idea of him than she had been with him and James had been more in love with his idea of her than with her.  Things might have gone differently if they’d gotten together before Myriad and her death ride with Fort Rozz, but that day had changed something inside Kara.  It had burned away so much of what Eliza and Jeremiah and society in general had saddled her with in terms of expectations of who and what she wanted to be and left a truer, purer version of herself behind.  Her feelings for James had been part of that, but it had resulted in a lot of awkwardness and hurt feelings on James’s part.

It didn’t matter, because Kara was determined not to not make the same mistakes again.  No dating James and no Battle of CatCo plaza, either.

“Mr. Olsen, are you here?” Kara asked.

“I’ll be just a minute,” came a muffled voice.

Kara stepped a bit further into the office, and spotted James digging through a pile of boxes.

“I’m just here for the layouts,” she said.  “If you tell me where they are, I’ll get out of your way.”

“No trouble.  Just let me finish here and I’ll get them for you.”  He looked up from the box of trophies and plaques he was going through and stopped for a moment.  “Hey,” he said as he stood up.  “I’m the new guy.”

Kara nodded.  “James Olsen, I know.  Clark speaks very highly of you,” she said.

“You know Clark?” he asked.

“Of course.  Oh,” she stuck out her hand.  “Sorry, I’m Kara Danvers.  Clark’s my cousin.”  She saw a bit of surprise in his face, probably at the idea that Kara would be so open about their relationship.  “Don’t tell anybody though.  Cat would probably think I’m spying for the Planet if she knew.”

James laughed and took her hand, shaking it.  “Now that does sound like the Cat Grant I know.”

Kara looked over, and let herself smile as she caught sight of the print of James’ photo of Kal.  “And there’s the photo,” she said, letting go of James’s hand, and stepping around him.  “You do good work.  This almost looks like he posed for it.”

“He did,” James said.  “Don’t tell anyone though.  They might take away my Pulitzer.”

“Couldn’t have that,” Kara said as she lifted the print.  “I’ve got to ask.  What what’s he really like?”

This time James smiled, and Kara wanted to kick herself for not seeing the way he felt written on his face the first time they’d had this conversation.  “He’s everything you want him to be and more.  I mean…” He chuckled.  “I was scared to move out here, but, uh, he told me the biggest risk was never taking any, so…”

  Kara nodded and looked down at the print again, running her fingers over the image of her baby cousin in all his heroic glory.  It was easy to let the longing shine through.  She hadn’t seen Clark since she came back, and before that, he’d been dead for years in her personal timeline.

“Take it.”

“Hmmm?” she said, looking up at James.

“Take it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Kara smiled.  “Thank you.”  She looked down at the print for another moment, then back up at James.  “Layouts?”

“Oh,” he said.  “Yeah.”  He picked them up off the light table and handed them to her.  “Nice to meet you, Kara Danvers.”

“And you, James Olsen,” she replied, taking the layouts.  “I’d better get these back before Ms. Grant fires someone.”

***

In the year since Kara’s trip back from the future, she’d mostly avoided dating.  She hadn’t done it at all in the first month or so, but Eliza had kept hounding her.  Finally, during Thanksgiving Dinner, she’d just told Eliza she didn’t want to be set up on a blind date with her old college roommate’s son because she didn’t want to date men at all.  That had gotten Eliza to back off for exactly two weeks.

It wasn’t terrible, but Kara always felt a little guilty since the dates weren’t going anywhere.  She wasn’t really over Sara and the Supergirl thing was coming.  She knew what that would do to any potential relationship.  She dated mostly to humor Eliza, and to help Alex keep Eliza off her back.  She’d actually made a  handful of casual friends she hung out with now and then and she’d managed to talk Cat into adding an LGBT-focused section to the CatCo website and to the magazine, which had done so well Cat was considering launching three topic-focused print magazines, and five topic-focused websites.

Maggie, though, had been one of the few good things that had come out of the dating thing.  She knew the woman from the previous timeline of course and never would have agreed to a date with her, because dating your sister’s future wife was surely against some rule somewhere.  But she’d been sitting in a bar, nursing her third virgin strawberry daiquiri after one of her Eliza-arranged blind dates had failed to show, when Maggie had sat down next to her and ordered a whiskey.

Kara couldn’t believe her luck.  She’d struck up a conversation and for the last four months, she’d spent almost as much time with Maggie as she did with Winn.  There wasn’t anything romantic about it, mostly because of the future Kara had lived through, but also because Maggie had been going through a long and nasty break-up with a girl named Darla, so Kara had spent a lot of time being a shoulder to cry on.

It hadn’t even really been much of a decision to bring Maggie into the fold earlier than before, because Maggie was amazing.

Tonight though, was something Kara had arranged carefully.  She’d checked to make sure the bar had TVs that ran local stations so she’d get the news.  She’d also set up news alerts for flight 237 Geneva and National City Airlines and directed them to her burner phone.  The driver’s license in her purse was a duplicate, and the glasses she was wearing were a pair of cheap reading glasses she’d picked up at a Walgreens.  The purse had a few other odds and ends in it.  A spare lipstick, and a tube of lip gloss, a half empty tin of breath mints, a couple of tampons, an expired can of pepper spray left over from her college days.  A couple of Noonan’s receipts, a bit of loose change, 62 dollars in cash, and a prepaid debit card.  Nothing she couldn’t afford to lose, on the off-chance Maggie reacted poorly to finding out she was an alien without almost a year of history as Supergirl under her belt, but enough that it looked like it was Kara’s actual purse.

The whole thing would look careless to Maggie, like she was in a blind panic.  Maggie, being Maggie, would try to return the purse and that would give Kara a way to induct her into team Supergirl.

She spotted the woman sitting at a table, checking her watch.  When she looked up, her eyes fell on Kara, and Kara waved as she walked over.

“Hey, Maggie,” she said as she dropped into the seat across from her.

“Hey,” she said.  “You look great.”

“Thanks,” Kara replied.  “Not too bad yourself.”

“How’s Cat treating you?”

“Oh, you know.  Same old, same old.  It’s a good week though.  She’s only fired me twice.”

Maggie laughed.  “Only you would consider that a good week.”

Kara shrugged.  “It’s not like it ever sticks.”

“What’s the count up to?” Maggie asked.

“One hundred and ninety-eight.  Looks like Kelly from fashion is going to win the pool.”

“I bet Winn will be disappointed.”

“Probably,” Kara said.  “How’s the X-Files treating you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old.  Men in black apparently abducted a birdman in Chinatown last night, and a Klingon with a glowing axe jumped the fence at the airport.”

“Sounds like a fun week,” Kara said, but she felt a small moment of worry.  The Klingon with the glowing axe sounded a little too close to Vartox for comfort.

“Yeah.  One more day and it’s over,” she said.

“Any plans for the weekend?”

“Not really,” Maggie said.

Kara rolled her eyes.  “You are not going to sit at home and mope over she who will not be named.”

“I’m not moping,” Maggie said.

“No, you’re not.  We’ll do something.”

“Like what?”

“There’s a women’s volley ball tournament down at National City Beach this weekend.  We could go watch.”

“More like go so you can drool over the players.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of me being your wing woman.”

“Kara, you would make the worst wing woman in history.”

“I would not!”

“Oh, do not give me those puppy dog eyes.  No one is going to take a second look at me if you’re there.”

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you’d let me introduce you to my sister.”

“Your sister is straight,” Maggie shot back.

Kara snorted.  “My sister is in denial,” she replied.  “Trust me, she’d take one look at you and there would be an Alex-shaped hole in the closet door.”

“I’ll pass on the sister and the volleyball.  Seriously, I-”

Kara held up her hand as she turned around.

“If you’re just joining us, shortly after take-off, National City Airlines, Flight 237 bound for Geneva is experiencing some loss of altitude.  The pilot seems to be circling the city after apparent engine failure.”

Kara turned back to Maggie as she pulled open her purse, and took out two twenties.  “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” she said as she threw the money on the table.

“What?  Why?”

“That’s my sister’s flight,” Kara said as she started towards the door.  She didn’t wait to see if Maggie followed her.  She didn’t need to.  She heard the scrape of the feet of the bar stool as Maggie stood up.  Heard the sound of the soles of her shoes hitting the ground.  Felt the disturbance in the air as Maggie chased after her.

Kara moved more slowly than she could have.  She knew she had time to spare.  She’d picked the bar because it was along the flight path, and this time, she was neither out of practice flying, nor was she unfamiliar with the aircraft in question.  She was already pulling her jacket off as she ducked into the alley, and she could sense Maggie coming around the corner as she tossed it aside.  She ripped off the cheap drug store glasses and threw them in the same direction as the jacket as she ran, then she bent her knees and kicked off.

She nearly laughed when she heard Maggie scream, “Holy shit.”

Then she put everything out of her head but the task at hand.

She approached faster this time, her flight skills fresh and practiced from her regular runs out to Sanctuary, which is what she’d named her own not so little Fortress of Solitude.  When the engine broke free, instead of plowing through it and showing the city with flaming debris, she caught it, and with a deft spin and shove, sent it splashing down gently into the bay.  She wasted no time trying to push against the wing.  Instead, she flew up under the plane and punched through the skin, grabbing the frame member tightly, and pushing up.  There was no desperate turn to keep the wings from getting clipped.  The plane cleared Otto Bender Bridge easily, and then Kara started a slow, gentle turn.  The plane cleared the bridge a second time, before Kara guided it down gently into the water.

Once it had settled into the water, she kept pushing, sliding it along the surface, using her x-ray vision to make sure she didn’t hit anything until she ran it aground near the I-210 off ramp for National City Bay Beach.  Once the nose of the plane was pushed up on dry land, Kara let go of the plane, and swam out, climbing up on the right wing.  She stood, watching through the skin of the plane as people took movies and snap shots, before she gave Alex a nod through the window, and shot into the sky.

***

Kara had gone back to the alley, not at all surprised to find her purse, jacket and glasses gone.  She’d known Maggie wouldn’t leave them.  She’d been a bit worried she’d find the detective at her door, but as luck would have it, she was alone.  She’d showered, eaten an order of fifty buffalo wings, and was most of the way through her large supreme pizza, while watching the news coverage.

“The passengers of Flight 237 appear to have a guardian angel.  When, what many report to be a female flying form rescued them from certain death.”

“Leyna Nguyen is live at the scene.”

“Thank you, Rick.  Guardian Angel would appear to be right.  Not only did she rescue the passengers from a tragic end, but reports also indicate that she caught one of the plane’s engines as it broke free and kept it from falling on the city, and prevented the plane from hitting Otto Bender Bridge not once, but twice.  Then, after setting the plane down in National City Bay, she pushed the plane up on shore, making rescue efforts and clean-up easier and much safer.”

“Oh, my god,” Alex said.

Kara hopped up from her spot on the couch and hugged her sister, careful not to bruise her this time.  She stepped back, holding Alex by her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

She watched as Alex rubbed her forehead, and did her best not to sigh.  She knew what was coming, and she’d been dreading this part of the night.

“Let me get you a drink,” she said.  She walked over to her small kitchen and poured Alex a glass of the Johnny Walker Blue Label Alex kept at her apartment.  She put the glass in Alex’s hand, and waited for her to drink it.

“So, let’s hear it,” Kara said.

“Hear what?” Alex asked.

“The part where you yell at me for exposing myself to the world, and tell me I can never use my powers again.”

“It sounds like you already know what I’m going to say,” Alex said.

Kara nodded.  “You know, given how much you complain about Eliza, you sound just like her.” It was a low blow, and Kara knew it, but the flinch from Alex still made her wish it hadn’t been necessary.

“Because she’s right about this, Kara,” Alex said.  “It’s not safe.  What if people figure out who you are?  What you are?”

“Then they figure it out.  I didn’t travel two thousand light years to be an assistant my whole life.  I had a mission, and maybe, yeah, it was already over when I got here, but that doesn’t change who I am.  /.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl  .nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium,  .nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl,/  My mother was Alura In-Ze, the chief Adjudicator of Argo, my Aunt was Astra In-Ze, a General and the War Leader of the House of Ze.  I am the granddaughter of In-Ze, Myara Bar-Ul, Seg-El and Nimda An-Dor and descended in direct line from Erok-El and from the War Queens of the House of Ze.”

“Do you know what that means?  My people, my culture, my entire world may be dead, but I am still a child of Rao.  /.nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila/  I have not forgotten, and I will not bring shame to my house by hiding who I am like some coward.  There are people out there who need me.  People who I can help.  If that means I have to take a few risks, then I will take those risks.”

“Kara-“

Kara held up her hand.  “No.  No, you should go.  Go home, get some rest.  Get used to the idea that this is happening.”

Alex huffed, in that special way all big sisters have when they want to let their little sister know they’re being annoying and unreasonable.  “Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Alex said.

Translated from the Kryptonian:

.nahn khuhp w ,kahrah,zor,ehl I am Kara Zor-El

.nahn khuhp w tiv inah ewuhshehd im ,kryptahnium, I am the last daughter of Krypton

.nahn khuhp w aonah wukhaiiu zrhythrev ,ehl, I am the eldest child of the house of EL

nahn ,rao, i chahvehd shokhpahs w pahdh tiv aorghahs ni waila Rao’s first law is to make the universe whole.

[parkerbombshell]

Just Another Menace Sunday w/ Aurora!

Today The Menace's Attic/Just Another Menace Sunday #interview w/ AURORA 6pm-8pm EST Bombshell Radio bombshellradio.com Bombshell Radio Repeats Sunday 6am-8am EST #BombshellRadio #melodicrock #radioshow #rock #alternative #TuneInRadio #justanothermenacesunday #dj #DennistheMenace #radioreplay #today #Aurora Today's Bombshell (Bombshell Radio) Theme Song Just Another Menace Sunday Theme (Dennis The Menace) - Mighty Six Ninety Hour 1 A CONVERSATION WITH AURORA AND HER MUSICAL SANDWICH OPENING SONG: Runaway – Aurora AURORA MUSICAL SANDWICH: OPENING BREAD: Running With The Wolves – Aurora Lighthouse – Patrick Watson Suzanne – Leonard Cohen Mr. Tambourine Man – Bob Dylan Forever – Depresno Do You Remember – Anna Brun Brothel – Susanne Sundfor Mirror Ball – Elbow A Real Hero – College CLOSING BREAD: Little Boy In The Grass – Aurora Hour 2 NEW MELODIC ROCK AND ROLL OPENING SONGS: Deadman – Payola Presley (Savory) Return To The Moon – El Vy (4AD) Kill Your Attitude – Darwin Deez (Lucky Number) Nobody Really Cares If You Don’t Go To The Party – Courtney Barnett (Mom & Pop) Love Her If I Tried – Royal Headache (What’s Your Rupture) Easy To Get – Hot Chip (Domino) Dreaming – Nate Heller featuring Amber Cuffman (Rhino) Bluebird – Beach House (Sub Pop) Lost – Tamaryn (Mexican Summer) Pasadena – Pompeya (No Shame) Break Me Down – Paul Smith And The Imitations (Billingham) People On Sunday – Paul Smith And The Imitations (Billingham) CLOSING SONG: Cherry Picking – Potty Mouth (Planet Whatever)

Who is Dennis The Menace? The story goes something like this. DTM listened to a lot of legendary New York City radio as a kid. Top 40 WABC. Progressive WNEW-FM. He also won a lot of "guess the song contests" that brought him into real radio studios where he decided he would be as good as the D.J.s he idolized! In 1972 the tender age of 15, Dennis the Menace auditioned for and was given his very own "Top 25" show on the first cable radio station in the U.S. (His parents drove him to the station!). Soon after, he was written up in the local newspaper as "New York's Youngest D.J." and that was the beginning of over 40 years on the radio! He has been on the air in New York, Florida, and as co-host of "Music Scene" on KISS-108, Boston where his interviews for the show also were heard on the "Rolling Stone Continuous History of Rock and Roll.” Today he is host/producer of two syndicated specialty radio shows broadcast from his Menace Studio in San Francisco. Starting with the Talking Heads in 1977 and some 600 interviews later, he considers his regular conversations with rock and rollers of note one of the most joyous parts of his life - only second to his daughter Kate! When he's not on the radio, he's a Consulting Creative Director, Writer, Producer for advertising and brand clients, Founder and Creative Director of a music content company for brands: PopCult and Creative Director for a new treat called Cat Sushi! And yes, he sleeps.   Read the full article

[chriscoleman]

Philippines Trip Report

Pangulasian Island and Manila Spirits

November 9th, 2017 - November 20th, 2017

Chris Coleman & Julia Donald

Julia and I took a trip to the Philippines for beach vacation and Ultimate frisbee tournament. The first half was spent at a eco-luxury resort in Bacuit Bay, El Nido, Palawan. Then we flew to the capital city for Manila Spirits tournament with a group of players from Seattle.

Vacation for our family starts with laying out a big pile of food for the cats and taking Skye to the doggy hotel. This trip was the same, although our longest time away from the buggers. I ate sushi dinner as Julia attended her Project Management Professional course at University of Washington. Flight at 11pm on November 9th after Julia bought face lotion at duty free (from two Filipino ladies).

13 hours later we landed in Taipei, Taiwan at 5am on November 11th. We lost a full day to the time zone change. Meals served on the plane was a new experience for me, which weren’t half bad. Dumplings, soup, and cold oolong tea in Taiwan airport were way better. Plus we got to see the Hello Kitty terminal early in the morning.

9am flight to Manila, Philippines was an easy 3 hours. Once we landed we took a taxi to Terminal 3 since walking between terminals at Ninoy Aquino International Airport is not possible. The buildings are not connected and the shuttle system is horrendous. Everyone leaves the buildings to try to take yellow taxis, but we struggled to find anything but white taxis (even though signs and the internet warned us that the white taxis were not recommended). Wings is a hostel/hotel that we reserved in T3, to rest during our layover. We decided to explore the city a bit before our nap/flight. After dropping our bags we went to the Mall of Asia in downtown Manila. Unfortunately we got swindled by our taxi driver and were forced to pay 1800 Philippine Pesos ($35 USD) for the ride which should have cost 250 ($5). The first lesson we learned in negotiations while riding white cabs. However the conversation with the taxi driver was almost worth the $30 upcharge… He was stoked to talk about American mass shootings, holding up two hands while driving and going Bang Bang Bang. Telling us about their own recent mass shooting at a casino. Plus some political talks comparing their president Duterte and Trump - both “strong” men. Julia realized this might be one country we don’t have to apologize for Trump.

Cultural shock hit when we entered the mall. They had armed security at each entrance, metal detectors and bag checks and pat-downs. Each individual shop also had their own white shirt armed security, continuing the strong show of force.

There were many American chains and your basic department store offerings. It was impressive because of the size. We almost stopped for an ice skate, but didn’t want to risk an injury at the very beginning of our trip. Ensaymada pastry at Starbucks was a treat, a delicious Filipino bread flavored with grated cheese and sprinkled with sugar. The best part of the mall trip was seeing the Christmas decorations and hearing the Christmas music. They are already in full holiday swing and it was fabulous. We later learned that Christmas starts on Sept1 in the Philippines. A common saying is “Christmas is coming”. Dinner at Manam restaurant initiated us to Filipino cuisine - Crispy Sisig and Watermelon Sinigang. We finished the trip with a walk outside along the boardwalk. They were preparing for fireworks later in the evening and we sat on the wall overlooking Manila Bay on the far side of the Pacific Ocean.

The ASEAN Summit was happening in Manila during our trip. World leaders came together to talk about Southeast Asian nations regional issues. The security throughout the city was tight, we even saw hundreds of police officers doing a ‘dry-run’ of the parade route as we went between the mall and airport. We missed them shutting down the streets for their test by a couple hours and returned to the hostel. Trump was in attendance for the summit, although we were lucky to be away from the capitol when he was in town.

Nap at Wings until our 6am flight out of Terminal 4. The showers were a treat and we felt refreshed as we entered our last leg of travel to reach our first destination. Taxi driver talked about Duterte/Trump again - telling us that his life is much better with Duterte in power. The 10pm curfew allows him to sleep at night, keeping the drunks out of the street. We kept our political opinions out of the conversation, it was good to hear local perspective on a radical president.

Flight to El Nido, Palawan was 1 hour. A small turboprop plane out of a cramped waiting area. Once we landed - resort staff took care of us right away. They handled our baggage and shuttled us to a lounge with drinks/snacks. We waited maybe 20 minutes next to Lio beach as they loaded our luggage onto the boat via wooden bridge. This was our first introduction to outriggers with their bamboo pole arms stretched out at their sides for stability. Raul called the boat a big turtle. Regardless it was fast while we departed the small El Nido airport. The transfer took about 30 minutes to get us onto Pangulasian Island. We talked to Raul, our favorite guide, about excursion options before arrival.

42 villas on the island, otherwise no houses or people outside the resort. The crew on the island stayed in a house behind the main restaurant and lobby. We learned later that the main building had been built on top of a cave where the water monitor lizards lived, including a big one called Godzilla who was probably 5 feet big. We never saw Godzilla but we kept an eye out for him. Our home for the next 4 nights was Villa #22. On the way to the villa on our “buggy” we saw our first and only macaque monkeys at the resort during the trip. We were instructed not to look directly at them or smile at them because they can get aggressive,. However they are so cute that is all you want to do. The room was luxurious with a huge bathroom, strong air conditioning, private balcony, and ocean views. As we were introduced to our room, we were also introduced to several Filipino english peculiarities, including the ever present honorific "M'amSir". Having grown up in the South, Julia was not sure how this concatenation had never occurred to any of the southerners she knew as it would have undoubtedly saved them much time in their daily salutations. Endless coconut cookies in the mini-bar was one of the best amenities.

We planned out our trip on a piece of scrap paper. No real itinerary before this, but once in the room and aware of our options we wanted to optimize our time in paradise. We went to the activity director with this plan:

     Day 1 - sunset hike

     Day 2 -  7am snorkel, 3pm Island tour

     Day 3 - 8am Lagoon tour

     Day 4 - ???

     Day 5 - 2pm boat, 5pm flight

Lunch at the pool after seeing our first small/baby Monitor Lizard. Julia had Rellenong - squid stuffed with pork, which introduced us to the Filipino comfort fusion of Asian, seafood, and Spanish food, plus foamy fruit drinks. Then into the water for our first snorkel of the trip. We saw a blue spotted stingray the size of a dinner plate as we were entering the water. Lots of coral right away and tons of fish all around. We were amazed at the amount of life right off the shore of our villa, the reef was alive! Huge blue clams and blue starfish were highlights, then we saw ‘Nemo’ (clownfish) in a home of sea anemone. We quickly learned that the overprotective dad fish are not just a thing of movies as the clownfish tried to chase us away from their anemone homes. Once they started trying to attack you, it was best to swim away so they didn’t leave any eggs defenseless and ready for another fish’s dinner.

Sunset hike was a serious physical task. Hiking up about 500 feet, counted in 1800 steps, to a lookout tower in the center of the island. The steps were counted out with signs every 200 steps. Raul bounded up the mountain with the speed of a mountain goat and the ease of a man who has only worn flip flops (aka “slippers”) while traversing the jungle his whole life. Took us 30 minutes. We were rewarded with 360 degree views and a breathtaking sunset surrounded by islands of all sizes. We hiked with 2 guys - Nunu and Brunu from Portugal and our guide Raul. Early dinner at 6:30, where we were asked by the entire staff how our sunset hike was. We quickly learned that everyone on the island always knew what activities we were up to at all times. Bed by 9pm, which became a regular thing for all of vacation.

7am snorkel tour at our ‘home reef’ on Sunday morning. A resort boat took us to the west end of the island, about a 3 minute ride. Shallow coral as our guide directed us towards the best spots for seeing baby blacktip reef sharks, as they apparently like to stay in 2-3 foot deep sections of the reef. Almost immediately we saw blacktip reef sharks. About 2-3 feet long, nothing scary but still swimming with sharks. Brunu spotted a BIG shark - quickly alerting us, but it turned out to be the second group of snorkelers from our resort.. HaHa  

Breakfast buffet at the main restaurant was massive. Options for all nations… American (pancakes, and bacon), European (fruit and pastries), Asian (rice and grilled meat), plus local Filipino dishes like fish, longganisa, and jackfruit.

A kayak tour around the island was settled upon after much debate. The wind was blowing and I was nervous the adventure would not be easy. It ended up being a wonderful decision all around. The boats were easy to launch from the beach next to our villa. We immediately tested upwind and downwind paddling - discovering we could easily handle the conditions. Paddling clockwise around the .2 square mile island took us 1 hour. The side opposite the villa is completely deserted, with multiple beautiful beaches. A small black monkey was relaxing on one, scurrying back into the woods as we floated by. There were also tons of crabs on the rocks, that also scurried away as we got close.

Back in the room Julia read on the balcony while I soaked up the AC + WiFi until our 3pm tour. Island Hopping is a 3 hour tour via outrigger style boat - called pump boat or paraw boat. There were about 10 other couples on the trip although the boat didn’t feel cramped at all. The crew of the boat frequently navigated the length of the boat by walking on the bamboo outrigger support structures, leaving the middle of the boat where we were sitting wide open. Luckily we weren’t required to wear the big red life vests, so I ditched mine immediately.

The first stop on the tour was called Cathedral Caves, about 25 minutes away. Pictures only as our boat was too big to enter the cave. The second stop was Cudugnon Cave another 25 minute ride. We were greeted by two dogs when we landed on shore. Then we walked along the water to a small entrance which we crawled through. It opened up to a huge room which legend says is a Neolithic burial place. We squeezed our way into the cave and marveled at how it opened up to 40 foot ceilings once we were through the entry. The light shone in a way that was impossible for us to capture on film. It was beautiful. Our 3rd stop was Snake Island, named for the S shaped sandbar that connected the island to mainland Palawan. After securing the anchor we walked the sandbar to a shack in the water. A bar on the sandbar, wonderful! No cash, and no bartenders today,  so we just looked around and shuffled back and forth on the 2-3 foot deep sandbar, hoping our feet were alerting any stingrays to swim away and not sting us out of self defense.. Another 10 minute boat ride and we were back at Pangulasian Island resort -  home.

We stopped at the pool for a sunset swim. Ordered coconut’s and Julia drank them both. After cleaning up I called for a buggy to take us to dinner. At 6:30pm no one was there, it wasn’t until later in the trip that we learned that the restaurant didn’t open until 7pm - they were just too nice to tell us to leave. Again puzzled where everyone else was, we dove into the exquisite menu, amazed at the quality and selection for being on a remote island where everything is ferried in by outrigger. Two orders of bread, shrimp gyro, and a huge seafood paella was a killer meal. Then a stomach settling beach walk home and we were in bed by 9pm.

Monday sunrise at 5:30am was beautiful from bed. It was raining as Julia scanned for wildlife from the balcony. She spotted 3 big Monitor Lizards coming out of the water, plus a baby blacktip reef shark maybe about 1 foot long trolling the shallows in front of our villa.

Breakfast was another big buffet in preparation for our Lagoon Tour at 8am.

The tour was filled with 22 people including our guides, driver, and security. Gold was the main guide - who I found out is also an ultimate player and planning to attend Manila Spirits tournament. Small world in the ultimate community! The group was: 2 Hawaiian couples Alan/Jira and Russell/Joy, dad from Manila and his 3 daughters, an old French couple, family of 4 with a 10 year old boy and 5 year old girl, and a young Asian couple on their phones the whole time. At this time we were beginning to get to know all the other fellow occupants of the island.

1st stop was Big Lagoon, 20 minutes from home. Pictures only as our boat drifted into the lagoon while the guides gave a history / science lesson. We learned about the limestone cliffs and how they were eroded over time by the salt. This was one region in the Philippines that was not part of the ring of Fire and was safe from earthquakes and volcanoes by its place in the middle of a tectonic plate.

2nd stop was Small Lagoon, 5 minutes away. The rain picked up again but it was warm and it didn’t bother us. There were already 5 or so outrigger boats in the ‘parking area’ leading into the lagoon. Some of the outriggers were from other resorts (including other El Nido properties at Maniloc or Lagen islands) and the others were from “town” a El Nido proper, and were part of the tor packages A, B, C, etc. all looked good, but the tour options had little grills on the back that were cooking excellent looking if slightly fire safety concerning food. We dropped anchor in the tight quarters and waited for our kayaks to arrive. Another group was using them and 1 by 1 they finished so our crew could jump in. Julia and I took the last boat, quickly catching up to the group with fast strokes. Through a hole not much bigger than our kayak we entered the lagoon. Walls were dripping with rain into the clear blue brackish water. A quick swim finished our adventure - then into the boat for a final stop.

3rd stop was Miniloc Resort - also owned by El Nido and on the same island as the lagoons. It was set in a cove in the middle of limestone cliffs. The resort was beautiful but it seemed to lack the beautiful beach that we had at Pangulasian. We were affirmed we made the correct resort choice by a couple of the other travelers on the boat, although that is comparing two especially Fantasia options. The reef just off their shore is home to a school of Jackfish, about 4 feet long - big things! They feed them daily so they zoom around near the dock - one nearly jumping over me as I snorkeled by. A Sergeant Major fish with yellow and black stripes bit Julia’s elbow as we explored the reef. I didn't believe Julia and went in to follow up - it bit my hand. Nothing more than a tiny scrape - but that bugger was really defending his territory well, good for him. Sweet tea on the boat home was a perfect ending. We were back before noon.

Ice cream  and fruity drinks for lunch told us we were truly on vacation. Any time more than 3 drinks are in front of 1 person - it’s vacation!

Julia took an afternoon snorkel while I rested in the air conditioning. She saw another stingray and more Nemo fish. Then we relaxed in bath robes until dinner time. Julia even won the daily debate of buggy vs. walk - this time only because the buggy service was busy. We spotlighted crabs using the headlamps I brought from home as we walked on the beach to dinner. Large hand sized white crabs dove into their well dug holes in the sand, while hermit crabs just collapsed inside their mobile homes. Our Hawaiian friends came over during dinner to extend an invitation on their private boat tour tomorrow with their lady friends. We quickly deliberated and decided to say yes.

Tuesday the 14th began with thunder and lightning. We ate breakfast as it stormed all around us. Extra banana jam on my pancakes to make up for the nasty weather.

The tour started at 10am with Gold as our guide. Alan/Jira and Russell/Joy were a bit late, but excited to get going. Secret Beach was the first destination. A hole in the side of a steep wall. At high tide you have to dive and hold your breath 5 seconds to get in. We all practiced holding our breath and confirming what kind of 5 seconds were we talking about? One mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi, or 1, 2, 3. In retrospect, the "mississippi" might have added to the confusion in our clarification attempts. It was low tide so Julia swam straight in, but I still dove. A sandy beach inside was magical, completely closed off from the outside. Unfortunately this is where Julia’s camera decided to die - however we later discovered it was simply a dead battery. 

Hidden Beach was the second destination. First we stopped for a quick snorkel just around the corner. A reef on the edge of a 100 foot dropoff. Colorful coral and tons of fish - so amazing to see with our butts in the air. The beach was hidden behind a shallow entrance. We waded through ankle deep water to find another sandy shore tucked away on Matinloc Island. The other 2 boats of tourists were just leaving so we got the whole place to ourselves. Only other person there was a local in a canoe selling coconuts and ice cold beer - how perfect!! Julia ate the soft meat out of the coconut after drinking the water. The salesman even cut a ‘spoon’ out of the coconut shell for her to scoop it out with - genius. My San Miguel beer hit the spot in the midday sun. All of us got coconuts or beer for 400 PHP (8 USD). A good deal.

Lunch at Entalula Island was welcomed at 1pm. El Nido owns/manages a section of beach here with the softest sand of the entire trip. They served us lunch of rice, shrimp, sashimi, fruit, and cold drinks. We only had to sign our room numbers and the bill was taken care of. I could get used to this. When checking out later, we saw all of the receipts where we had signed our room number earlier in the vacation. The stamps for our postcards. The lunch at Entalula. The magnet for our fridge. Imagining them gathering all of these receipts for calculation via outrigger or buggy was humorous.

2 more quick stops at the Cudugnon Cave and Snake Island we had been to previously. We skipped going inside the cave this time. Walked the beach trying to pet the dog and talk to the little girl - neither were successful. Then we waieded in the water and chatted with Russell, learning about his insurance business and life on Maui. Snake Island bar was open this time and we didn’t forget the cash. Bought more beers and coconuts (we learned here our first Tagalog word - Buko - which means coconut) before heading back home.

The private boat tour with the Hawaiians was our favorite adventure during our time on Pangulasian Island resort. We were out almost 7 hours, explored 5 islands, and saw hundreds of fish with new friends. I sure hope we run into these guys again on another vacation!

Black butterflies greeted us at sunset daily. We watched a dark blue / almost black Great-Billed heron hunt on the ocean shore as the mosquitoes began to bite. We also learned about alpha monkeys. Once they became aggressive (stealing clothes off balconies or food from the buffet) an Ecologist would fly out from Manila, the monkey would be darted and wake up on a secluded island. 1 alpha per island, no mates. This has happened 5 times in the past 20 years - meaning that there are 5 islands out there with mad/lonely monkeys on them. The guides told us 1 adopted a cat from a nearby village as his friend, petting it and guarding it. This was the monkey banished to the Sandbar island. We had been warned during our visit not to pet the cat, and it made more sense knowing about it's monkey protector. Hilarious / Sad.

Manila plans were discussed over a dinner of Kare-Kare (oxtail and tripe in peanut sauce) and butter chicken. Super sleepy after this heavy meal. Bed by 8pm, but not before committing to our buggy driver for a 5am sunrise hike.

Wednesday the 15th Julia actually made the 5am sunrise hike. I slept. The guide asked where "Sir Donald" was and she replied, in bed. They discussed ecology on the way up and politics on the way down - a well balanced agenda. This was the first, but not last, person Julia met that was critical of Duterte and the drug war. The guide was especially concerned with the corruption of the cops and the extrajudicial killings. When they discussed the drug wars in both countries, quickly Julia grasped that although the US drug war incarcerates the most people in the world - our drug war isn't killing political opponents in their houses and planting drugs to cover it up. Neither is good, but there is always worse. The guide was worried about the future as all of the political opponents to Duterte were being silenced, and no one knew what would happen at the end of his remaining five years of term.

6:30am I began to pack, reluctantly. Paused at 7am to take the guided snorkel of the home reef again. We saw no sharks but did traverse the entire length of the resort reef - West to East. Almost an hour snorkel with 2 other guys (Australia and UK). We got to see 2 smallish green sea turtles and another stingray. Rinsed off at the dive shop and turned in my fins.

All our new friends were at breakfast. After 5 days it felt like we knew everyone. Catching up with what each other did the previous day and our plans going forward. Many of us were leaving together today so we’d have one last chance to shake hands before island time was over. I stopped at the pool after breakfast while Julia took 1 last snorkel. In true to vacation form, the last snorkel continued a trend we had started on other vacations where halfway through it started raining. When Julia came out, she and Brunu and Nunu (Portuguese guys) all finished at the same time and had a good laugh about "Snorkeling in the rain".

Lunch by the pool, then to the reception desk for checkout at 2pm. Signed the bill for 30,000 Philippines pesos and bought final momentos. Loaded the boat and we were off to the airport. Waiting room for El Nido resort guests was a treat - with drinks, sweets (red bean cakes and cassava cake), and air conditioning.

**Note - Sleep No More is an immersive play based on Shakespeare’s Macbeth and Hitchcock's movie “Rebecca" that Brunu/Nunu told us about. Look into this next time we visit NYC.

Landed in Manila, fetched baggage, and hailed a yellow cab (metered). Only problem is that the driver took us to the wrong hotel. Hotel Manila is WAY nicer than we booked. Felt wrong from the moment we pulled up. German Shepherds working security, ladies in long ballroom dresses, chandeliers, over-the-top Christmas decorations, the whole package... Thankfully the six bell boys on duty were nice (or bored) enough to carry our baggage and arrange our cab. Driver was way more experienced - getting us to Luneta Hotel on the other side of Rizal Park. This is the first time we were explained it was probably not a good idea for us to try walking in the city at night.

Luneta Hotel is 99 years old. Lovingly restored in a beautiful combination of art deco and French renaissance architecture, we felt at home in our room for 1 night. We ate Crispy Pata for dinner at the hotel restaurant. The waiter explained all the ways we could tear into the beautifully twice cooked & deep fried pig legs / pig knuckles. "The tendons are the best". We noted how much easier it was in the Philippines to eat the peripheral / organ meats, and how much we had been enjoying it. In house made ice cream was a treat - especially the Jasmine flavor which was the national flower.

Thursday the 16th was a walking tour. Out the front door of our hotel was Rizal Park. Named after Jose Rizal - a Filipino nationalist who advocated political reform for the colony under Spanish rule. We visited the monument for his execution along with other historical sites in the area. Rizal is the national hero, a true renaissance man who wrote books and poetry, made paintings and carvings, and explored the sciences as a Polymath. His execution jump-started the successful Philippine revolution. Unfortunately, right after the success of the revolution and the creation of an independent Philippine government, the Spanish promptly lost the Spanish/American war. During the peace negotiation between Spain and America, Spain sold Guam, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines to the US for $20 million. The Philippines sent their best minds to the US to advocate for their self-rule, but the US failed to grant them their own sovereignty they had fought so hard for. Another war- the Philippine/American war - ended 2 million Filipino lives and settled the question for another 40 years of American rule. It was only after the atrocities of WW2 that the US granted the Philippines their independence on July 4, 1946. Families laid on space blankets in the shade as we walked the park, visiting the Chinese Garden.

Intramuros, a historic walled city inside Manila, was the next walking destination. First we stopped at Starbucks to download maps and assemble a plan. Once Julia made the map her phone background we were on the move again. San Agustin Church was our first major stop. A massive Spanish monastery built in 1607. Now a museum detailing the complete religious, economic, and legal colonization of the Philippines, detailing trade routes and gold mining along with the life of monks in the 1600’s. The Spanish were completely successful in their religious conquest, having converted everyone we met or saw into a devout Catholic. Then more churches and old buildings. Fort Santiago was our last stop inside the walled city. Built by Spanish conquistadors in 1571, then upgraded repeatedly until 1730’s. The American flag was raised here in 1898, who drained the moat to make a golf course. During World War II the fort was captured by the Japanese army and use as a killing ground for hundreds of prisoners - especially during the Japanese massacre of civilians during the liberation of Manila. 200k civilians (including lots of religious leaders) died in mass shootings during this last month of urban fighting. Intramuros and the rest of the city was gutted.

Back in 2017 - an Uber driver picked us up and took us to lunch. Dong Bei Dumpling house in Manila’s Chinatown district. A hole in the wall, that was recommended on every corner of the internet, was kinda scary getting to as our taxi driver took us directly through a slum on the edge of the river and the intramodal shipyard. It all paid off when we were served. One of the best meals of our entire vacation - stuffed pancakes, pork dumplings, and xiao long bao. Then we met our 9 year old friend Jarred outside. His dad runs a shop next to the restaurant and he wanted to talk as we waited for our ride. A very nice boy who had to run back to his dad to get English answers for our questions. Then we became Facebook friends - it was official.

Quiapo Market was our last tourist spot of the day. An open-air market selling everything from fruits to pirated CDs. We walked the hundreds of small booths looking for a fitbit replacement for the one I accidentally swam with in Palawan. We were able to find speakers, phone cases, watches, ‘nike’ shoes, bike parts, herbal “birth control” (it is a very Catholic country), 10 min massage, day-old chicks … but no fitbit. After an hour we escaped without spending a dollar.

Jasmine tea back at Luneta Hotel per the waiter's recommendations as we picked up our bags and then an hour Uber ride, with a sleepy driver, to our AirBnB in Alabang. This house was rented by our ultimate team for the long weekend. Just 2 kilometers from the fields in a secured neighborhood. We actually had to fight through the security gate our first time through, trying to prove we actually belonged there.

The house was huge, as were all the ones around us. 10+ beds upstairs, 2 on the main floor, and ours downstairs. There were also 2 house staff and 1 driver staying with us full time. The owners moved to California last year and use the house rarely. The staff are their personal helpers of the family for the entire lifetime of their children - Julia was lucky to get some time to discuss this further with one of their helpers and learn more about this aspect of the culture.

Team dinner was a ‘Boodle Fight’ - a traditional meal served on banana leaves and eaten with hands. Ours was packed with pork, shrimp, octopus, corn, and rice. I sat next to Summer who was allergic to shellfish - but she was able to avoid death with Epi-Pen on standby.

Friday the 17th began at 6:30am with Shawn cooking eggs, bacon, and sausage. The first van to the fields left at 7:45am, with Alan our driver. Ange and Steph were already there with a spot reserved for us under a canopy on the edge of the fields. Each team had their own section blocked off - which proved critical during rain and sun all weekend.

Manila Spirits ultimate tournament is in it’s 14th year. 40 teams from around the world come together for a fun weekend of competition. It’s a co-ed tournament, playing with 4 men + 3 women or 4 women + 3 men. 60 minute games played to 13 points. Our team - Just Saiyan - was 19 boys and girls, the only team from the United States. Ranked 29th out of 40 teams. I looked for Gold and was able to find 5:30 Palawan team, but he was not with them.

Right off the bat ‘For Old Times Sake’ beat us 6-10 first game. They had the Tournament Director on their squad and were all around highly spirited. An excellent introduction to Manila ultimate. It was a tight match all the way to the end, then near a questionably timed soft/hard cap they ran away with it. Finished with a Spirit Circle and hip hip hooray X 3.

The rain started as we walked back to the canopy. HARD rain that flooded our shelter. Everyone hung their bags on the canopy poles and embraced the storm. The fields were soggy but it slowed by the time our second match began.   

‘Love Parade’ beat us 3-13 in the second game. Clearly a dominate team, having won the previous year. We didn’t even make it to the 50 minute soft cap. Ouch!

We beat USO third game 13-8 on a sloppy muddy field. They were young, one player only 17 years old. After our victory we taught them the street fighter spirit game, which ended up being a long 30 minute game, happily played in the sideline shade.

Back at the house we washed clothes and hung everything to dry. Ice bath for the feet was sweet, I almost made it a full minute. The team cooked hot dogs for dinner - which were found to be individually wrapped after grilling for 10 minutes. Why?!?

Julia and I chose to go out for dinner to catch up with each other since we spent the day separated.

Julia went to Pagsanjan Falls (a whitewater gorge once used as a set in "Apocalypse Now" movie), about 3 hours southeast of Alabang. Alan, our driver, helped her find the proper bus after he dropped us off at the fields. Then a motorcycle driver picked her up from the bus station and took her the rest of the way to the falls. 2 guides navigated her up and down the river and underneath a waterfall in a dugout canoe and bamboo raft.  “Shooting the rapids” is the tourist activity in the area and there is a rotation system for tour guides - nearly 3,000 villages have "canoeing numbers" assigned and about 1 every 10 days they are able to guide. It is one of the major methods of income in the town and I was reminded "Christmas is coming".  The guides paddled and jumped in and out of the canoe to drag it over and between rocks, and pushed off of the gorge walls when necessary for upstream momentum.  Julia's concept of whitewater canoeing was greatly expanded from her Outward Bound expedition days, as she never considered anything other than paddling as a method for propulsion.  Apparently feet is another acceptable and common option.  Good to know.  Things put into perspective, Julia enjoyed the trip thoroughly.  Then the moto driver, Romeo, picked her back up and took her to 2 other random spots in the area with waterfalls, local boys swimming, and a lake at the top of the mountain overlooking Laguna Bay. Beautiful rural areas with farmers, cows, pigs, sheep, goats, and subsistence gardening. she would have never found without his local knowledge. Aware that things could be risky, everything paid off wonderfully with Julia feeling very welcomed by the friendly people in the provinces.

Buko (coconut) pie for dessert. Julia got it during the bus ride home. As the bus rides were long and direct, they never stopped for food but rather let vendors come onto the bus for short rides. Roasted/steamed corn was a common treat, in addition to Balut, Empanadas, and nuts - all usually for 20 PHP.

Saturday the 18th was day 2 of the Spirits tournament. First game at 8am vs. ‘Sentinels’. We beat them 13-6 after Shawn’s hucks warmed up. Ange and Steph, our Filipino teammates who encouraged/organized this trip from the start, forgot their cleats at home. During our long 4 hour break they ran home and brought back Halo-Halo icy desserts that were sugary delicious. We relaxed in chairs from another team (which oddly they were mad about - come on team Vicious be reasonable) bought swag, drank smoothies, and watch games. 1pm was our second and last game of the day - which we ended up losing. ‘Breakfast Club’ was an old school team from Manila. They looked easy to beat but we just couldn’t shake our problems. They also called a bunch of questionable catches/fouls that really took the steam out of our high spirited squad. 6-10 was the final score, bummer.

Reviewed the day with Julia over dinner at Neil's Kitchen - a hip Filipino-fusion restaurant in Westgate Filinvest. We had three amazing plates of food, but the one I remember most was their concept of Dinuguan - a black liver and blood pudding dish complete with pork belly and rice. So rich and the best liver dish Julia has ever eaten. She went back to Manila city and visited 2 museums. National Museum of Fine Arts and National Museum of Anthropology. The art museum was beautiful and intense - the long history of the Philippines being colonized by Spain and America showed through in their religious art featuring Jesus and their modernist art featuring the journey from WW2 through the post-colonial years of independence. The Anthropology museum showed a sunken Spanish galleon which had just been excavated and explained a large part of that period of history. Lunch at Seaside Dampa - a seafood market where you buy anything from crab to lobster to shark to clams to tiger prawns and more - then across the street a restaurant will cook it for you. She had tiger prawns and a crab next to a family singing Videoke, a popular pastime in Asia.

Tournament part was Saturday night, which I decided to skip. It didn’t start until 9pm. I’m an old man. Asleep by 9:30.

Sunday was the final day of the tournament. We changed canopy locations to a central spot next to the first aid station (team Vicious ‘kindly’ asked us to move). Half the team was hungover, which gave confidence to the young and spry Sentinel opponent. They underestimated our experience playing hungover. We dominated from the first throw. I think they scored 3 points total, keeping spirit high the whole time. They did our ‘charge up’ cheer with us after the game - it was loud and awesome. The shitty part of this strong start was our teammate got injured. I threw a terrible pass over Amanda’s head, Ryan attempted to clean up the garbage. Feet got tangled as they approached the sideline - sending Ryan hard onto his elbow. Medics on the field said it was sprained (or torn ligament), he was out for the rest of the day. Felt terrible because it happened on my bad throw. Hopefully now that we are back in the US he can see a doctor and get healed quickly.

Game 2 was vs. White Propaganda. It was extremely hot with no sideline shade. Saiyan players were dropping out left and right. I was playing double points by the end of the game. Normally we were in pods of 3, rotating every point so that each person would play 1 of 3 points. Needless to say - we lost. Lots of simple drops added to the frustration, we totally could have beat this team. They were a fast squad, ready to move the disc quickly against any zone we tried to put on. The final score was 6-10.

Steph came back after the game with all our box lunches (so we didn’t have to stand in line with tickets waiting in the sun). Thanks Steph! Rice, pork, fish, and cookies were necessary to keep the engine rolling. I couldn’t seem to drink enough water all weekend - but the shade brakes helped encourage hydration.

Final game was vs. Stacked Stats, a team of players representing 15 countries. Fun group from the very start. We were never in the lead - they easily won 6-13. I was just happy to have survived a hot/humid tournament in Manila, my first international competition.

Finished the tournament with a box full of beers from the vendors. 24 San Mig Light’s while the team sat on the sideline watching the championship match - Boracay Bandits vs. Mulatto. Bandits were #1 and Just Saiyan ended up #32. Not too shabby.

Julia returned from Taal Heritage Town about 7pm. Alan was just asking about her status since it was getting dark, he had helped her get to the bus again and was worried she made it back easily. Taal is a popular tourist destination because it has a volcano in the middle of a big lake. Most people visit and hike to the top of the mountain volcano in the middle of Taal lake. Julia chose a different route - to visit the town and see their history. A wedding at the largest basilica in Asia, restored houses of Filipino Revolutionaries, market with dresses, halo halo, bikers, and a trike ride filled her day.

Ice cream passed around the dinner table on a Lazy Susan was the perfect capstone to a exhausting 3 days of ultimate. Our team was fun and already talking about what exotic tournament to try next year…Hopu Ka Lewa in Hawaii???

Monday the 20th was travel day. Alan began taking people to the airport at 9am. We relaxed and talked to the house staff, Delaney and Daisy, until 11am. They told us about Tagalog bananas and the backstory for the home owners. Alan stopped at the South Supermarket so we could pick up final ube treats for Julia’s coworkers. Then dropped our bags at EVA airline counter. We still had 5 hours until our flight so we got a taxi to the Mall of Asia to waste time again. Ryan was with us too. Lunch at Manam restaurant again, where we talked to a girl heading to New Zealand for a friends wedding. A quick walk along Manila Bay and we headed back to the airport (only to wait in line for an hour to check-in + customs).

16 hours of flying later, we landed 30 minutes before we took off. Monday was a weird day for us. Tuesday it’s back to work while fighting jet lag. The good news is that Thursday is Thanksgiving!

**Tagalog is a hard language to pick up for me. I learned zero words the almost 2 weeks we were in the Philippines. This is all I semi-learned after repeated instruction by various Filipino’s.

     hindi = no

     oo = yes

     mahal kita = I love you

     Buko = coconut

Overall the Philippines were a beautiful and adventurous string of islands. We look forward to going back to visit many more beaches (and tournaments) plus more off the beaten path international travel!  We picked up a cookbook for one of our few souvenirs so more Filipino food in our future.

Now it’s time to throw the ball for this dog… she needs love!

Cheers,

-Chris Coleman

[uwugenides]

FACT FOR EACH STAR GO GO GO !!!!!!!!!! :D

⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️When I was little I dropped a can in the garbage on accident and my brother made me crawl in the trash can to get it back out and put it in the right thing.⭐️I have right duane's syndrome. It's a birth defect that makes it so I can't turn my right eye outwards, it stops in the middle and I see double when I try to do it.⭐️I once fell through bleachers from the very top, falling straight down, twenty(20) ft, and I hit five cross bars on my way to the ground. My life did flash before my eyes.⭐️Growing up I wanted to be the first female president. Now I'm a trans man and I hate the government.⭐️I always wanted a husky (I was a wolf and tiger kid) and I got one two years ago and I love her. Her name is Ember.⭐️uhhhhh,,,,,,,, I'm autistic, well specifically I have aspergers⭐️I think you gave me too many stars ⭐️I love space but if I think about the laws of time and space I get too existential and dissociate for hours⭐️I'm having trouble thinking up new facts. F u my friend⭐️I've never been in a play or musical where I didn't have a speaking part⭐️In theatre I played this kid who is two feet taller than me and has non-stop freckled' older brother, so that was fun⭐️How am I supposed to do this without feeling self-centered??? Is that a fact?⭐️I always start writing stories and never finish them.⭐️I have some fucked yo dreams that I will never tell to a single person⭐️Moana is my favorite animated movie, only second to Road to El Dorado⭐️I type like this n lke this n vvvv much like this,,,⭐️I'm watching America's Got Talent right now and it always manages to restore my faith in humanity⭐️also the dancing pumpkin man from that old meme is on America's Got Talent and I love him⭐️I feel so small and then I feel so big and it is weird⭐️I love anyone who messages me, any message or ask. Even hate stuff, like thamknyoi, you took the time to think about me, even if its death wishes, you thought about me⭐️I love doing scary makeup⭐️fucked up shit and horror is my thing, but I can't watch horror movies alone⭐️I used to be really into werewolves and stuff when I first got on the internet and I guess you couldve considered me a furry⭐️I'm in love with my boyfriend⭐️did I mention I love my boyfriend⭐️that doctor who band that was called like Chameleon something??? Idk but they made really good songs. Check them out you guys⭐️COMEDY IS GREAT, FUNNY PEOPLE CAN FUCK ME UP⭐️I'm into dark comedy, but not insensitive comedy. Your racist jokes aren't funny, Barbara.⭐️I love tamale pie. If you haven't had tamale pie you need to have it.⭐️tamale pie and cornbread are the best⭐️sushi is really good⭐️my old choir teacher sang opera and was professionally trained in it.⭐️we had a karaoke day once and he sang karaoke opera for everyone. I'm p sure it was Italian too⭐️we had three foreign exchange students last year at my old school, one from South Korea, one from Finland, and one from Switzerland.⭐️a kid from my school spent part of her year as a foreign exchange student in Spain and when she came back she brought three girls from Spain with her and they cursed a lot⭐️I feel guilty about practically everything I've ever done in my life⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️the Ghostbusters reboot is a very good movie⭐️I want to go to COS (college of the siskiyous) and then transfer to SOU (Southern Oregon University) so hey, hit me up⭐️one is the loneliest number that you ever did see⭐️I'm sad 24/7 but sometimes that sadness comes across as comedy and that the only reason people like me⭐️I'm a minor⭐️I'm hot as fuck, get on my level twunk⭐️I hate terfs⭐️I want to be so rich that if I wanted to I could pay for everyone in the entire North America and South America to have enough food for three square meals a day⭐️i own a hat that says "black lives matter" and I've gotten ripped off my head more than once while riding my bus home⭐️I have a slight hitchhikers thumb⭐️I was born with brown hair but by the time I was two months old my hair was white⭐️I have owned four(4) rats, two(2) rabbits, seven(7) cats, two(2) guinea pigs, five(5) dogs, and one(1) hamster named Eddie.⭐️I am a self-taught horse-rider⭐️I have been to two(2) rodeos.⭐️I have asthma⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️so I love my boyfriend⭐️I chew on ice⭐️I order snow cones without any flavoring⭐️snow cones without any flavoring are cheaper⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I could've gotten more asks by now and I wouldn't know because I'm answering your stars⭐️I cry too easily⭐️I pass surprisingly well for being a trans guy who has not started T⭐️my family once sat at the dinner table on thanksgiving talking about how my mom had the right to hit me and I would not be allowed to defend myself⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I didn't know my dad was alive for the first twelve years of my life aside from the fact that we got the occasional eleven(11) dollar child support⭐️I love dogs⭐️I love cats ⭐️I love birds⭐️I love lizards⭐️I love snakes⭐️I love rats⭐️I love mice⭐️I love fish⭐️that guy on YouTube, Coyote Peterson is my goals as a person. If I could just live as a guy who goes around and finds wildlife I would never ask for another thing in my life⭐️I've recently started playing Pokémon Go again. It's fun⭐️my first Pokémon was a pikachu⭐️I've already traded my first Pokémon for more candies because I'm vain and want to be the very best⭐️I used to be a compulsive liars and would spend hours at night crying because I thought I was a horrible person for it. I was seven(7) at the time.⭐️I'm a trans⭐️koala bears are actively not helping themselves stay alive, not a fact about me, just a fact I like.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I just got a new kitten named Periwinkle Blue⭐️if I die before I travel to at least one(1) foreign country I will have died a sad man⭐️my great grandpa was Jewish and I carry a lot of that culture and its traditions down with me, despite not actually considering myself part of the religion.⭐️I'm a descendant of the Karuk tribe which is located in Northern California. I speak very little Karuk but it's a very pretty language!⭐️I'm also Irish, German, and as mentioned above (or alluded to at least) Hebrew.⭐️I'm white passing as far as my Native American roots go, and trust me, it is awkward being the whitest person at the tribal meetings.⭐️my birthname was the same name my great grandmother had, but is spelt in the newer form, not the Hebrew translated English form.⭐️I live in a very country oriented town. Everyone owns a cow. Or a pig. I almost owned a pig once.⭐️a lot of people say I'm not actually a trans guy because I was too much of an outstanding girl⭐️my insurance won't cover my top surgery⭐️I work as a dishwasher and it sucks ass⭐️I want to quit my job⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I went vegetarian for two weeks and then caved for a bag of salami someone left on the counter⭐️I drink at least one(1) Pepsi zero a day⭐️the first website I ever roleplayed on was QuoteV.com⭐️my mom just brought me a Fitbit that she got for me. What does this mean?⭐️I'm technically overweight yet look like the average "healthy" body.⭐️I have Mono⭐️I had lice in second(2) grade and lost many of my beloved stuffed animals because of that⭐️because of trauma I regress on occasion and my YouTube watch history is always interesting when that happens.⭐️I have extremely bad anxiety and don't even realize it half the time⭐️Jimmy Fallon is better than Jimmy Kimmel⭐️I once played a union soldier in a civil war reenactment held by a traveling group of reenactors and trust me, they do not mess around. If you've ever been in something like that you know that they are practically in character 24/7⭐️I love little kids but feel like I'm horrible with babies⭐️I fear I'll be a horrible parent and make my child feel the way my mom makes me feel⭐️I tried to get myself emancipated once and sadly failed as I'd gone through with a Or of the process before someone told me I wasn't old enough yet.⭐️stars are dying balls of gas⭐️I love my boyfriend ⭐️ SO MANY FUCKING STARS JESUS HAROLD CHRIST⭐️The H in Jesus H Christ stands for Harold, I looked it up once.⭐️I don't kinkshame but people should be a bit more conscious of what they do in general public access places.⭐️I've been in two(2) abusive relationships⭐️I take a lot of meds⭐️I might start T this year or next year⭐️I want top surgery before I graduate high school or the summer before I go to college⭐️I relate to Tony Stark as a person way to much⭐️I hate when the Hulk is only Hulk and never Bruce Banner⭐️I'm pretty self-confident most the time⭐️I've brought a blanket with me to school on more than one(1) occasion.⭐️I'm naturally a night owl and sleep better when sleeping during the day⭐️I take commissions for my art and you should commission me.⭐️currently I own three(3) dogs and two(2) cats. Mattie, the German shorthair mix, Ember the Alaskan/Siberian husky mix, and Memphis the purebred Doberman pinscher. One(1) adult cat named Freckles and one(1) kitten named Periwinkle Blue.⭐️I love video games.⭐️I love theories. Let's talk theories all day. Any theory, let's talk.⭐️I love talking about sociology and social expectations that aren't realized.⭐️I love collecting odd knick-knacks. I have many weird artifacts around my room, gathered by me or my yard-sale enthusiast grandpa.⭐️I hate Donald Drumpf.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I hope my boyfriend loves me⭐️the best animated characters to ever exist are Jesse, James, and Meowth from Pokemon.⭐️I'm taking PE independently at my new school⭐️I love singing and acting but I worry that I'm the person that is really bad at it and no one will tell me⭐️I also love doing special effects makeup⭐️sculpting is great fun⭐️I'll be going to the San Francisco comic con this September so if you're there come see me⭐️I'm going to be Dipper for comic con and my boyfriend is going to be Bill Cipher⭐️Arya from Game of Thrones is the best young actress I've ever seen⭐️then again she's not actually that young⭐️I once got stung by a scorpion while being inside my own home on my own bed⭐️till I was like seven(7) I had to share a room with my mom because we didn't have a house big enough for me to sleep anywhere else⭐️my dog Mattie's fullname is Calamity Anastasia Strelow⭐️at the school I used to attend a kid dressed up as a "tr*nny" for Halloween and wasn't told to take off his costume till someone who wasn't trans and out at the school complained and that took me begging my friend.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I'm Bigfoot and my boyfriend is Mothman⭐️Atomic Blond looks like a really good movie⭐️my first(1) two(2) rats were named Loulou and Pepper⭐️my rabbits were Midnight and Petals.⭐️my hamster was a Russian dwarf hamster and he ended up being eaten by my cat Bobby Joe who was eaten by a mountain lion from the local area⭐️a bear has been seen on my old elementary school's campus five(5) times in my lifetime⭐️wolves were once seen by the only starbucks in my town which was only opened up last year⭐️I live in a major gold mining area and I5 runs right through the town next to mine which is practically where I live⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I've had a full body massage once(1) in my life and let me tell you, you haven't lived till you've had your butt massaged⭐️I've taken like three(3) different classes for martial arts and never really followed through with any of them⭐️I've only been bitten by one dog in my entire life and it was completely my fault⭐️this post is too long Jesus fuck⭐️why⭐️the emoji movie doesn't actually look that bad in my opinion⭐️Despicable Me3(three) was actually a really good movie.⭐️I hate bad acting but I respect the effort⭐️every sibling I have is a half-sibling⭐️I'm a horrible person⭐️but I'm also the only good person alive aside from my friends and boyfriend so I'm conflicted ⭐️The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo is a must see by anyone who considers them self part of the LGBTQ+ community⭐️I don't consider queer a slur personally but I understand the history of it and I never have and never will use it to describe someone or a group of people without their explicit permission⭐️before I came out as a trans guy I thought I was gebderfluid⭐️Chase Ross is an awesome guy⭐️I feel like I look like Ronan from The Raven Cycle with my new haircut, but I always pictured him with a darker complexion so idk⭐️I hate Caitlin Jenner as a person, but not for her gender identity in and of itself.⭐️my phone is getting very warm⭐️these stars are horribly shaded⭐️I love being trans and don't regret it at all⭐️my husky is probably my favorite dog so far⭐️TOO MANY STARS⭐️I don't know anythinh⭐️I'm actually a robot and this is all a lie⭐️I want to be a popular blogger or like a YouTube or something but hhhhnnnnnggg⭐️I'm really into literature and English and history and everything about all of that⭐️I made my signature while scribbling and realized a particular scribble looked like my initials⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I watch too many shows ⭐️I want to be a teacher kind of⭐️I want a better job⭐️I want to be who I see in the mirror when I've got all thecright clothes on and I'm feeling confident ⭐️I want to be a better person⭐️I want to be amazing⭐️I want to be a good human being⭐️I want to be special⭐️I want to be good enough⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want to be healthy⭐️I want to be happy with who I am⭐️I want to be me⭐️I want to be cool⭐️I want to realize that I can be all this things if I just let myself⭐️I want to kiss John Boyega⭐️I want to hug Chris Pratt⭐️I want to smile the way I smile when I see my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I want more scars⭐️I want to be more adventurous⭐️I want to be a great person⭐️I want to live a good life⭐️I want Drumpf to resign⭐️I want to be famous⭐️I want to be immortal for all the good and bad it brings⭐️I want to be good⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want this to end⭐️I love my boyfriend

[glittership]

Episode #36 — "How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War" by R.B. Lemberg

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      How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War

by R.B. Lemberg

for Bogi Takács

    At the budget committee meeting this morning, the pen in my hand turns into the remote control of a subsonic detonator. It is familiar—heavy, smooth, the metal warm to the touch. The pain of recognition cruises through my fingers and up my arm, engorges my veins with unbearable sweetness. The detonator is gunmetal gray. My finger twitches, poised on the button.

I shake my head, and it is gone. Only it is still here, the taste of blood in my mouth, and underneath it, unnamed acidic bitterness. Around the conference table, the faces of faculty and staff darken in my vision. I see them—aging hippies polished by their long academic careers into a reluctant kind of respectability; accountants neat in bargain-bin clothes for office professionals; the dean, overdressed but defiant in his suit and dark blue tie with a class pin. They’ve traveled, I am sure, and some had protested on the streets back in the day and thought themselves radicals, but there’s none here who would not recoil in horror if I confessed my visions.

    [Full transcript after the cut]

Hello! Welcome to GlitterShip episode 36 for April 13, 2017. This is your host, Keffy, and I’m super excited to be sharing this story for you. Today we have a return of R.B. Lemberg, whose story “Stalemate” was published in episode 7. This is the last story for the Winter 2017 issue, and Spring 2017 is right around the corner! We also have a guest reader, Rose Fox, for this episode.

R.B. Lemberg is a queer, bigender immigrant from Eastern Europe and Israel. R.B.’s work has appeared in Lightspeed’s Queers  Destroy Science Fiction, Strange Horizons, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Unlikely Story, Uncanny, and other venues. Their Birdverse novelette “Grandmother-nai-Leylit’s Cloth of Winds” has been nominated for the Nebula Award, and longlisted for the Hugo Award and the Tiptree Award. R.B.’s debut poetry collection, Marginalia to Stone Bird, is available from Aqueduct Press (2016). R.B. can be found on Twitter as @RB_Lemberg, on Patreon at http://patreon.com/rblemberg, and on http://roselemberg.net.

Rose Fox is a senior reviews editor at Publishers Weekly and the co-editor (with Daniel José Older) of Long Hidden: Speculative Fiction from the Margins of History. They also write Story Hospital, a compassionate, practical weekly advice column about writing, and run occasional workshops for blocked and struggling writers. In their copious free time, they write fanfic and queer romance novels. They live in Brooklyn with two partners, three cats, the world’s most adorable baby, and a great many books.

      How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War

by R.B. Lemberg

  for Bogi Takács

  At the budget committee meeting this morning, the pen in my hand turns into the remote control of a subsonic detonator. It is familiar—heavy, smooth, the metal warm to the touch. The pain of recognition cruises through my fingers and up my arm, engorges my veins with unbearable sweetness. The detonator is gunmetal gray. My finger twitches, poised on the button.

I shake my head, and it is gone. Only it is still here, the taste of blood in my mouth, and underneath it, unnamed acidic bitterness. Around the conference table, the faces of faculty and staff darken in my vision. I see them—aging hippies polished by their long academic careers into a reluctant kind of respectability; accountants neat in bargain-bin clothes for office professionals; the dean, overdressed but defiant in his suit and dark blue tie with a class pin. They’ve traveled, I am sure, and some had protested on the streets back in the day and thought themselves radicals, but there’s none here who would not recoil in horror if I confessed my visions.

I do not twitch. I want to run away from the uncomplicated, slightly puffy expressions of those people who’d never faced the battlefield, never felt the ground shake, never screamed tumbling facedown into the dirt. But I have more self-control than to flee. When it comes my time to report, I am steady. I concentrate on the numbers. The numbers have never betrayed me.

  At five PM sharp I am out of the office. The airy old space is supposed to delight, with its tall cased windows and the afternoon sun streaming through the redwoods, but there’s nothing here I want to see. I walk briskly to the Downtown Berkeley BART station, and catch a train to the city. The train rattles underground, all stale air and musty seats. The people studiously look aside, giving each other the safety of not-noticing, bubbles of imaginary emptiness in the crowd. The mild heat of bodies and the artificially illuminated darkness of the tunnel take the edge off.

When I disembark at Montgomery, the sky is already beginning to darken, the edges of pink and orange drawn in by the night. I could have gotten off at Embarcadero, but every time I decide against it—the walk down Market Street towards the ocean gives me a formality of approach which I crave without understanding why.  My good gray jacket protects against the chill coming up from the water. The people on the street—the executives and the baristas, the shoppers and the bankers—all stare past me with unseeing eyes.

They shipped us here, I remember. Damaged goods, just like other states shipped their mentally ill to Berkeley on Greyhound buses: a one-way ticket to nowhere, to a place that is said to be restful and warm in the shadow of the buildings, under the bridges, camouflaged from this life by smells of pot and piss. I am luckier than most. Numbers come easy to me, and I look grave and presentable in my heavy jackets that are not armor. Their long sleeves hide the self-inflicted scars.

I remember little. Slivers. But I still bind my chest and use the pronoun they, and I wear a tight metal bracelet on my left arm. It makes me feel secure, if not safe. It’s only a ploy, this bracelet I have found, a fool’s game at hope. The band is base metal, but without any markings, lights, or familiar pinpricks of the signal. Nothing flows. No way for Tedtemár to call, if ever Tedtemár could come here.

Northern California is where they ship the damaged ones, yes, even interstellars.

  Nights are hard. I go out to the back yard, barren from my attempts at do-it-yourself landscaping. Only the redwood tree remains, and at the very edge, a stray rose bush that blooms each spring in spite of my efforts. I smoke because I need it, to invoke and hold at bay the only full memory left to me: the battlefield, earth ravished by heaving and metal, the screech and whoosh of detonations overhead. In front of me I see the short, broad figure of my commanding officer. Tedtemár turns around. In dreams their visor is lifted, and I see their face laughing with the sounds of explosions around us. Tedtemár’s arms are weapons, white and broad and spewing fire. I cannot hear anything for the wailing, but in dreams, Tedtemár’s lips form my name as the ground heaves.

  I have broken every wall in my house, put my fist through the thinness of them as if they’re nothing. I could have lived closer to work, but in this El Cerrito neighborhood nobody asks any questions, and the backyard is mine to ravage. I break the walls, then half-heartedly repair them over weekends only to break them again. At work I am composed and civil and do not break anything, though it is a struggle. The beautiful old plaster of the office walls goes gritty gray like barracks, and the overhead lights turn into alarms. Under the table I interlace my fingers into bird’s wings, my unit’s recognition sign, as my eyes focus resolutely on spreadsheets. At home I repair the useless walls and apply popcorn texture, then paint the whole thing bog gray in a shade I mix myself. It is too ugly even for my mood, even though I’ve been told that gray is all the rage with interior designers these days.

I put my fist through the first wall before the paint dries.

  Today, there is music on Embarcadero. People in black and colorful clothing whirl around, some skillfully, some with a good-natured clumsiness. Others are there simply to watch. It’s some kind of a celebration, but I have nothing to celebrate and nothing to hope for, except for the music to shriek like a siren. I buy a plate of deep-fried cheese balls and swallow them, taste buds disbelieving the input, eyes disbelieving the revelry even though I know the names of the emotions expressed here. Joy. Pleasure. Anticipation. At the edge of the piers, men cast small nets for crabs to sell to sushi bars, and in the nearby restaurants diners sip wine and shiver surreptitiously with the chill. I went out to dates with women and men and with genderfluid folks, but they have all avoided me after a single meeting. They are afraid to say it to my face, but I can see. Too gloomy. Too intense. Too quiet. Won’t smile or laugh.

There is a person I notice among the revelers. I see them from the back—stooped, aloof. Like me. I don’t know what makes me single them out of the crowd, the shape of the shoulders perhaps. The stranger does not dance, does not move; just stands there. I begin to approach, then veer abruptly away. No sense in bothering a stranger with—with what exactly? Memories?

I cannot remember anything useful.

I wish they’d done a clean job, taken all my memories away so I could start fresh. I wish they’d taken nothing, left my head to rot. I wish they’d shot me. Wish I’d shoot myself, and have no idea why I don’t, what compels me to continue in the conference rooms and in the overly pleasant office and in my now fashionably gray house. Joy or pleasure are words I cannot visualize. But I do want—something. Something.

Wanting itself at least was not taken from me, and numbers still keep me safe. Lucky bastard.

  I see the stranger again at night, standing in the corner of my backyard where the redwood used to be. The person has no face, just an empty black oval filled with explosives. Their white artificial arms form an alphabet of deafening fire around my head.

The next day I see them in the shape of the trees outside my office window, feel their movement in the bubbling of Strawberry Creek when I take an unusual lunch walk. I want, I want, I want, I want. The wanting is a gray bog beast that swallows me awake into the world devoid of noise. The suffocating safe coziness of my present environment rattles me, the planes and angles of the day too soft for comfort. I press the metal of my bracelet, but it is not enough. I cut my arms with a knife and hide the scars old and new under sleeves. I break the walls again and repaint them with leftover bog gray, which I dilute with an even uglier army green.

Over and over again I take the BART to Embarcadero, but the person I seek is not there, not there when it’s nearly empty and when it’s full of stalls for the arts and crafts fair. The person I seek might never have existed, an interplay of shadows over plastered walls. A co-worker calls to introduce me to someone; I cut her off, sick of myself and my well-wishers, always taunting me in my mind. In an hour I repent and reconsider, and later spend an evening of coffee and music with someone kind who speaks fast and does not seem to mind my gloom. Under the table, my fingers lace into bird’s wings.

I remember next to nothing, but I know this: I do not want to go back to the old war. I just want—want—

  I see the person again at Montgomery, in a long corridor leading from the train to the surface. I recognize the stooped shoulders and run forward, but the cry falls dead on my lips.

It is not Tedtemár. Their face, downturned and worn, betrays no shiver of laughter. They smell unwashed and stale and their arms do not end in metal. The person does not move or react, like the others perhaps-of-ours I’ve seen here over the years, and their lips move, saying nothing. I remember the date from the other day, cheery in the face of my silence. But I know I have nothing to lose. So I cough and I ask.

They say nothing.

I turn away to leave, when out of the corner of my eyes I see their fingers interlock to form the wings of a bird.

  Imprudent and invasive for this world, I lay my hand on their shoulder and lead them back underground. I buy them a BART ticket, watch over them as even the resolutely anonymous riders edge away from the smell. I take them to my home in El Cerrito, where broken walls need repair, and where a chipped cup of tea is made to the soundtrack of sirens heard only in my head. The person holds the cup between clenched fists and sips, eyes closed.  I cannot dissuade them when they stand in the corner to sleep, silent and unmoving like an empty battle suit.

At night I dream of Tedtemár crying. Rockets fall out of their eyes to splash against my hands and burst there into seeds. I do not understand. I wake to the stranger huddled to sleep in a corner. Stray moonrays whiten their arms to metal.

In the morning I beg my guest to take sustenance, or a bath, but they do not react. I leave them there for work, where the light again makes mockery of everything. Around my wrist the fake bracelet comes to life, blinking, blinking, blinking in a code I cannot decipher, calling to me in a voice that could not quite be Tedtemár’s. It is only a trick of the light.

  At home I am again improper. The stranger does not protest or recoil when I peel their dirty clothes away, lead them into the bath. They are listless, moving their limbs along with my motions.  The sudsy water covers everything—that which I could safely look at and that which I shouldn’t have seen. I will not switch the pronouns. When names and memories go, these bits of language, translated inadequately into the local vernacular, remain to us. They are slivers, always jagged slivers of us, where lives we lived used to be.

I remember Tedtemár’s hands, dragging me away. The wail of a falling rocket. Their arms around my torso, pressing me back into myself.

I wash my guest’s back. They have a mark above their left shoulder, as if from a once-embedded device. I do not recognize it as my unit’s custom, or as anything.

I wanted so much—I wanted—but all that wanting will not bring the memories back, will not return my life. I do not want it to return, that life that always stings and smarts and smolders at the edge of my consciousness, not enough to hold on to, more than enough to hurt—but there’s an emptiness in me where people have been once, even the ones I don’t remember. Was this stranger a friend? Their arms feel stiff to my touch. For all their fingers interlaced into wings at Montgomery station, since then I had only seen them hold their hands in fists.

Perhaps I’d only imagined the wings.

I wail on my way to work, silent with mouth pressed closed so nobody will notice. In the office I wail, open-mouthed and silent, against the moving shades of redwoods in the window.

  For once I don’t want takeaway or minute-meals. I brew strong black tea, and cook stewed red lentils over rice in a newly purchased pot. I repair the broken walls and watch Tedtemár-who-is-not-quite-Tedtemár as they lean against the doorway, eyes vacant. I take them to sleep in my bed, then perch on the very edge of it, wary and waiting. At night they cry out once, their voice undulating with the sirens in my mind. Hope awakens in me with that sound, but then my guest falls silent again.

An older neighbor comes by in the morning and chats at my guest, not caring that they do not answer—like the date whose name I have forgotten. I don’t know if I’d recognize Tedtemár if I met them here. My guest could be anyone, from my unit or another, or a veteran of an entirely different war shipped to Northern California by people I can’t know, because they always ship us here, from everywhere, and do not tell us why.

Work’s lost all taste and color, what of it there ever was. Even numbers feel numb and bland under my tongue. I make mistakes in my spreadsheets and am reprimanded.

  At night I perch again in bed beside my guest. I hope for a scream, for anything; fall asleep in the silent darkness, crouched uncomfortably with one leg dangling off to the floor.

I wake up with their fist against my arm. Rigid fingers press and withdraw to the frequency of an old alarm code that hovers on the edge of my remembrance. In darkness I can feel their eyes on me, but am afraid to speak, afraid to move. In less than a minute, when the pressing motion ceases and I no longer feel their gaze, I cannot tell if this has been a dream.

  I have taken two vacation days at work. I need the rest, but dread returning home, dread it in all the different ways from before. I have not broken a wall since I brought my guest home.

Once back, I do not find them in any of their usual spots. I think to look out of the kitchen window at last. I see my stranger, Tedtemár, or the person who could be Tedtemár—someone unknown to me, from a different unit, a different culture, a different war. My commanding officer. They are in the back yard, on their knees. There’s a basket by their side, brought perhaps by the neighbor.

For many long minutes I watch them plant crocuses into the ravaged earth of my yard. They are digging with their fists. Their arms, tight and rigid as always, seem to caress this ground into which we’ve been discarded, cast aside when we became too damaged to be needed in the old war. Explosives streak past my eyelids and sink, swallowed by the clumps of the soil around their fists.

I do not know this person. I do not know myself.

This moment is all I can have.

I open the kitchen door, my fingers unwieldy, and step out to join Tedtemár.

  END

  “How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War” was originally published in Lightspeed’s Queers Destroy Science Fiction issue in June 2015.

This recording is a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license which means you can share it with anyone you’d like, but please don’t change or sell it. Our theme is “Aurora Borealis” by Bird Creek, available through the Google Audio Library.

You can support GlitterShip by checking out our Patreon at patreon.com/keffy, subscribing to our feed, or by leaving reviews on iTunes.

Thanks for listening, and I’ll be back on April 18th with a GlitterShip original and our Spring 2017 issue!

Episode #36 — “How to Remember to Forget to Remember the Old War” by R.B. Lemberg was originally published on GlitterShip

[kyufiber-main]

92 Truths

I wasn’t tagged dEAL WITH IT

Rules: tag 20 people (eXCEPT IDK THAT MANY PEOPLE SO) um i’ll tag @jacksons-smile @rinacchin @hong-taeyeon and @piecesofhelene bc they r the only ones who put up with me and my tagging shit lmao

THE LAST…

1. Drink: Lemonade

2. Phone call: My older brother aw

3.Text message: @jacksons-smile saranghae unnie~ xDD

4. Song you listened to: Dammn Baby by Janet Jackson lmao

5.Time you cried: Yesterday because of Produce101 or more specifically the (second) love of my life Ahn Hyeongseob <3

6. Dated someone twice: Can’t date someone twice if yu never dated them at all

7. Been Cheated on: nope :0

8. Kissed someone and regretted it:  haven’t kissed anyone at all

9. Lost someone special: Does my dog count 

10. Been depressed: Not clinically but you know depressed moods

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I wish i could get drunk

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

1: White 2: Blue 3: Green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: Yeaaaah buddy

16. Fallen out of love: Nah

17. Laughed until you cried: hell yes like yesterday

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Nope #iaminvisible

19. Met someone who changed you: Lol does a kpop idol count

20. Found out who your true friends are: all my friends are true friends bc i have like two lmao nah jk i just don’t do all that drama shit

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: haha what is facebook what is kissing

GENERAL…

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 100% bc i have six and they are my family

23. Do you have any pets: one dog one cat

24. Do you want to change your name: nah i like it a lot

25. What did you do for your last birthday: ate cupcakes and sat around talking

26. What time did you wake up: 6:30am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 

28. Name something you cannot wait for : college

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: this morning

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: uuuhhhh i wish i didn’t live where i do 

31. What are you listening to right now: easy love by sf9 (GO LISTEN TO IT STAN TALENT STAN SF9) (also this is future me and I’m listening to Pick Me [boy’s version] so go listen to that too)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Good question not in a year

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when people start unnecessary drama and when I'm ignored

34. Most visited website: Tumblr & Youtube 

35. Elementary: yeah

36. High School: yeah (halfway)

37. College: not yet

38. Hair color:  dark blonde but it’s getting so dark some people think it’s light brown if i haven’t washed it sigh

39. Long or short hair: Long because my hair grows at the speed of light even if i cut it sigh 2x

40. Do you have a crush on someone: No unless you count Ten from nct hahaha

41. What do you like about yourself: I like that i’m honest and also my love for music

42. Piercings: nope

43. Blood type: A+ unlike my grades

44. Nickname: well my one bestie calls me Eli (yes like the boy’s name lol) and online i go by Ellie or Faith (or ele by SUM BITCh *cough* rina *cough*)

45.Relationship status: pringle as a single and only interested in korean men that are too old for me

46.Zodiac sign: cancer like trump’s existence

47.Pronouns: She/her

48.Favorite tv show: Teen Wolf, Friends, Produce 101 atm stan hyeongseob 

49.Tattoos: no but maybe someday

50.Right or left hand: right bc i’m basic

FIRST…

51. Surgery: I had an oral surgery once and lemme tell you they knocked me out with a 1000x dose of laughing gas it was aMAZING

52. Piercing: never

54.Sport: I did soccer as a little kid 

55.Vacation: my family has this lake cabin in maine we go to every summer it’s pretty lit

56. Pair of trainers: question mark

57. Eating: i just ate some ramen and rice pudding and oreos and sushi

58. Drinking: nothing but i’m thirsty ;;;;;)

59. I’m about to: browse tumblr and probably write another ten scenario lmao also procrastinate on homework

61. Waiting for: the end of school jc it feels like it’ll never come

62. Want: to read smut write a fluffy scenario 

63. Get married: wut are you saying i’m already married to ten and i aint no cheating bitch jk i’m a kpoppin slut

64. Career: maybe a translator or something involving kpop fYTE ME

WHICH IS BETTER…

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs rn bc i haven’t kissed anyone

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: honestly it doesn’t really matter but tbh shorter/average boys are cuter to me like super tall ones aren’t my thing

68. Older or younger: always older always i’m sorry being a noona isn’t for me

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: both 

71. Sensitive or loud: Loud 

72. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship but u know hook-ups probably have their plusses

73.Troublemaker or hesitant: Dunno tbh i like a good medium

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.Kissed a stranger?: Nope

75.Drank hard liquor? : one time my dad put vodka in a sorbet he gave me without telling me lol

76.Lost glasses contact/lenses? : I don’t wear any ;)

77.Turned someone down?: Yep

78.Sex on first date?: yeet 

79.Broken someone’s heart?: Nope

80.Had your heart broken?: Nope

81.Been arrested?: Nope but almost one time (its a long story)

82.Cried when someone died?: you mean a fictional person lel 

83.Fallen for a friend?: well i’ve never been in love but i did crush on a guy i’d been friends with for ages

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.Yourself?: ha next question

85.Miracles?: um sure 

86.Love at first sight?: bye bitch no

87.Santa Claus?: nah

88.Kiss on the first date?: idk we’ll see

89.Angels?: yeah 

OTHER….

90.Current best friend’s name: i currently have two: ximena (real life) and katie (online)( i HOPE U SEE THIS AND CRY) 

91.Eye color: Blue

92. Favorite movie: Twenty (like with kim woo bin and all them) or Mulan or smth

[connorrenwick]

Design Milk Travels to… Miraflores, Lima, Peru

“Look at the flowers,” Ana Cecilia Vidal told me when I arrived at her hotel, the Aloft Lima Miraflores, in Peru.

“Yes, I’ve been admiring,” I assured her. After a drab Winter in New York, the upscale neighborhood of Miraflores, with its landscaped plazas, ice cream shops, flea markets, stone fountains and palm trees, seemed even more teeming with life than Manhattan. I soaked in the colors. I even put on a flowery skirt.

“It’s what Miraflores means,” she replied, “look at the flowers.”

That small conversation became a primer for how I would see this part of Lima, Peru over the next week. Miraflores, the region bordered by Barranco in the South and the Pacific Ocean in the West, is perhaps one of the affluent neighborhoods in Lima, Peru. But the reason you should visit Miraflores isn’t because it’s wealthy, its parks so trimmed: this Ciudad Heroica or “Heroic City,” a designation it earned during the War of the Pacific, is where 8.7 million people reside beside ancient ruins, modern boardwalks, open-air food courts, a park for romantics, and even the 8th best restaurant in the world.

WHERE TO VISIT

Musicians draw an enthusiastic crowd here at Parque Kennedy in Miraflores. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

At the epicenter of Miraflores is Parque Kennedy, a well-placed public space with a playground that attracts local families and a multitude of benches for elderly men and women to gather and people watch.

The park is famous for its resident cat population, but it’s also a place for social gatherings, and where musicians often rally a lively crowd. While strolling through flowerbeds, grab a churro (fried dough stick) or picarone (fried squash and sweet potato donut), or slurp on some chicha morada (a juice made from purple corn, cloves, cinnamon and sugar) from the various local food stands here. When you’re recharged and satiated, go thrift shopping for knitted sweaters, bags and scarves at the flea market which is set up daily from the early afternoon to late at night, and where local merchants are always happy to chat with you about where you’re from and what you’re hoping to see.

Larcomar, a cliffside shopping mall, along the El Malecón coastal walkway. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

There’s views of the Pacific Ocean at Larcomar and all along the El Malecón path. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

Another attraction is Larcomar, which touts itself as “the only shopping center located on a cliff with a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean.” Atop Larcomar is Alfred Salazar Park and El Malecón, Lima’s scenic clifftop walkway. There are several restaurants in the region of Larcomar with magnificent ocean views, but if you’re looking for something more low-key, I’d recommend walking along El Malecón up north towards the “Parque del Amor” (Park of Love).

El Beso, a sculpture by Victor Delfin at Parque del Amor, depicts the sculptor and his wife kissing. The park is particularly crowded on Valentine’s Day and is a popular spot for locals to go on dates and even get married. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

Here you’ll find “El Beso,” a large sculpture depicting the sculptor Victor Delfin and his wife, kissing. In the name of romance, the names of famous couples are inscribed into the park’s Antoni Gaudi-like mosaic walls, such as the literary love legends Romeo and Juliet.

Along El Malecón, you might see surfers riding the waves, people playing basketball, or even paragliding above you. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

Puente “Mellizo” Villena Rey, a single arched bridge by the Pacific Ocean, links public parks in the South to the famous Parque del Amor in the North. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

The cliffside walkway, El Malecón, passes plenty of parks from Parque Domodossola in the South to Parque Intihuatana up north, many with flower gardens and sculptures by Peruvian artists. If you’re headed to Parque del Amor you’ll pass through the single arch pedestrian bridge, Puente Villena Rey.

Notable mentions: Lugar de la Memoria, la Tolerancia y la Inclusion Social (The Place of Memory, Tolerance and Social Inclusion), or LUM, an exhibition space exploring the terrorist conflicts in Peru from 1980-2000 // Huaca Pucllana, the Incan remains of a seven-stepped clay and adobe pyramid from 200-700 A.D, with an on-site restaurant

WHERE TO EAT

Along with all the street food along Parque Kennedy, you can find elevated fine-dining at chef Mitsuharu Tsumara’s Maido, ranked the 8th best restaurant in the world. The colorful Peruvian-Japanese dishes are a journey through Japanese Nikkei cuisine with local infusions.

Lunchtime at Mercado Nº 28. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

We enjoyed a fresh bowl of ceviche topped with fried calamari at Agallas Cantina Cevichera, a vendor at Mercado Nº 28. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

A friendly and accessible dining option that’s perfect if you’re trying to hang out and enjoy the sunshine is Mercado Nº 28, which draws its inspiration from the well-loved Chelsea Market in New York. This open-air food court has 18 permanent food stands featuring well-known Peruvian chefs and first-time entrepreneurs, all vying to serve you everything you might want, from fried chicken to sushi to paella.

Notable mentions: Amaz for Amazonian-inspired cuisine // Punto Azul for fresh, generous servings of ceviche on a sunny family-friendly patio // Manolos for their famous churros in vanilla, chocolate or sugar frosting // Agora Arte y Café for a coffee break or casual workspace with a beautiful view of Parque Kennedy.

WHERE TO SHOP

Dédalo, a designer art and artisanal craft shop, in the nearby Barranco neighborhood, is housed in a beautiful colonial home. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

Dedalo’s gallery space also leads to a quiet, open courtyard at the back. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

On Wednesday evenings, this charming, secluded space turns into an upbeat event venue with pizza and live music. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

Dédalo, about a 15 minute walk from the centre of Miraflores in the Barranco neighborhood, is one of Lima’s most distinguished craft and design stores, with alpaca scarves and decorative pieces, kids toys and Peruvian designer jewelry. The gallery space serves as a hallway connecting the store to a serene, shaded courtyard with a cafe, where on Wednesday evenings, there’s pizza and live music.

Photos from Museo Mate.

Photos from Museo Mate.

MATE – Museo Mario Testino is a contemporary art and photography museum owned by renowned photographer Mario Testino with a design store, Bodega Mate, dedicated solely to fashion. Venezuelan jewelry designer Monica Sordo, the store’s curator, picked pieces from over 30 designers across 9 Latin American countries to showcase here.

AYNI’s showroom reflects the muted color palette of their line.

AYNI is the brainchild of two women—Laerke Skyum from Denmark and Adriana Cachay from Peru—who wanted to fashion high-end Peruvian materials such as baby alpaca wool and pima cotton into a minimalist fashion line with Danish aesthetics. They first launched in Paris in 2009 and have presented their luxury fashion collections all over the world, with a showroom right here in Miraflores.

WHERE TO STAY

Aloft Lima Miraflores is part of Marriott’s umbrella, geared towards the younger traveller. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

A King Suite at the Aloft Lima Miraflores.

The reception area and lobby at the Aloft Lima Miraflores.

At night, Bar XYZ turns the communal lobby at Aloft Lima Miraflores into a bustling entertainment spot.

We loved staying at the Aloft Lima Miraflores—at an affordable $92/night, it exudes a young, communal vibe, with people working in the hotel’s lobby in the day, and then getting a drink and winding down at night. The hotel shares the street with some of our Miraflores favorites, such as Mercado Nº 28, Puku Puku Small Batch Peruvian Coffee, and an adorable pastry shop inside a cozy white house, called Miss Cupcakes.

The Museo de Arte Contemporáneo in the Barranco district bordering Miraflores is just a 15 minute walk away and well worth the visit, even if it’s just to admire the sculptures along the museum’s public walkway. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

The Plaza de Armas in Barranco, a neighborhood bordering Miraflores. Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

If you make a wish and then hold your breath to cross the Bridge of Sighs, the locals say that your wish will come true! Photo by Cullen Fairchild.

The hotel is a stone’s throw away from all of the main attractions in Miraflores mentioned above. It’s even close to the nearby Barranco district, where we spent an evening visiting the Museo de Arte Contemporáneo, walking across the Bridge of Sighs (make a wish here!) and getting a burger and emoliente (an herbal drink of toasted barley, flax seeds, dried horsetail herb, dried grass, llantén or plantain leafs, lemon and honey, which we topped off with an additional scoop of sticky aloe vera) from a local street vendor. As with many things in Lima, the best part was chatting with the locals while enjoying the food that they’ve freshly prepared for us.

Final Thoughts

We’ve heard many experiences of people who stop in Lima for a day before heading to Machu Picchu. We did the same by taking a flight from Lima to Cusco and staying at the Palacio del Inka for two days to adjust to the altitude. We then drove over to Tambo del Inka in Urumamba (with the most amazing indoor pool I’ve ever seen, hidden in the trees). From there, we took the Inca Rail (the hotel has a private train station) to arrive at Machu Picchu.

While much has been said about Machu Picchu, more should be said about Lima, and in particular, the Miraflores district. We didn’t regret not seeing more of Machu Picchu, but we definitely wished we had more time to explore the neighborhoods in Lima, and to frolic in the gardens of Miraflores. There’s plenty of flowers to be seen here, that’s for sure, but if you want more to look at, there’s more Miraflores can offer: coastal bridges, sculptures, public parks, abundant street food and Incan ruins have found a way to merge seamlessly into the veins of this city. Unlike Machu Picchu, which is not in use apart from as a heritage attraction, Miraflores is very much alive. If you want to feel the Peruvian spirit, come here, and stay longer.

If you’ve traveled to Miraflores and have any favorite spots or recommendations, let us know below so we can share—and also check it out ourselves the next time we’re there!

via http://design-milk.com/

from WordPress https://connorrenwickblog.wordpress.com/2019/04/26/design-milk-travels-to-miraflores-lima-peru/

[romanovftedelgard]

tagged by @chuwaeyo​

Last

Drink: Monster, like my 3rd one today.

Phone Call: my father, he wanted me to go buy something and I forgot what it was lmao.

Text: ‘BKFJBBOBEAJONinfsgnioenp’ my friend sent me a meme

Song: ‘Born Ready’ from Marvel’s Rising - Dove Cameron

Time You Cried: at 5 am re-reading parlor tricks from @chuwaeyo​

Ever

Dated someone twice: hell no I ain’t tripping on the same rock twice

Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t think so...

Been cheated on: sadly, yes

Lost someone special: yes

Been depressed: hell when am I not

Gotten drunk and thrown up: not really, I’ve been drunk but I've never threw up

Favorite colors: black and white lmao a basic bitch

In the last year you have

Made new friends: YES

Fallen out of love: yesss

Laughed until you cried: lmao yes

Found out someone was talking about you: yESS

Met someone who changed you: nope

Found out who your friends are: daamn this shit deep, yes

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: ...those were dark times in my life

General

How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl: like 3 of ‘em lmao

Do you have any pets: welp, my sister has like 4 cats and I am the one always taking care of them

Do you want to change your name: Not really

What did you do for your last birthday: Play on my ps4, my family and I don’t make a big deal of birthdays

What were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfics and drinking

What is something you can’t wait for: HALLOWEEN!!! bc of the overwatch event tbh. In Spain halloween is not something really important

What are you listening to right now: Flight in G-minor feat. Dirty Cello - Amp Live (it’s SUPER BADASS AND I PLAY IT EVERYDAY)

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I don’t think so, no.

Something that gets on your nerves: telling people that the joke is not funny anymore and they continue doing it

Most visited website: it’s either Tumblr or youtube

Hair color: black!

Long or short hair: short, kinda like Korra’s hair

Do you have a crush on someone: do famous people count? yes

What do you like about yourself: how curious I am, I’m always reading shit about science or space.

Want any piercings: ugh yeah my eyebrow

Blood type: I don’t know LMAO I don’t really care

Nicknames: Lesbian goddess by a friend of mine bc I’m always like, this girl is so cute i lOVE HER and shit and because I am ALWAYS talking about women

Relationship status: single and honestly better that way

Zodiac: Virgo

Pronouns: she/her 

Favorite tv shows:  b99, Voltron, Wynonna Earp, Supergirl season 1, but I love the episodes where mon-el is either yeetED into space, or leaving :)

Tattoos: I’M GETTING ONE THIS MONTH OF SUPERGIRL’S COMIC CREST 

right or left handed: right handed

Ever had surgery: yes when I was a kid I was playing and fell into a sharp corner and hit my chin and it literally fell and I had to get it stitched back lmao I was crazy back then obsfianfdbsbfirwh

Piercings or ear piercings: nope

Sport: I love playing sports with my friends! I was also in kickboxing for two and a half years.

Vacation: Look I live in the Canary Islands and the only place I’ve gone is Madrid for Camila Cabello’s concert

More general

Eating: sushi

Drinking: monster (I’m always drinking monster or coffee tbh)

About to watch: rewatch Legend Of Korea or Supergirl s3 but I don’t want to see Sanvers breaking up I spent a fucking week crying over them and I still do sometimes

Waiting for: death and Marvel’s Spiderman which is 5 dAYS AWAY 

Want: good grades and get to study what I really want (it’s great that this is my last high school year)

Get Married: meh I mean, if it’s with the right person

Career: Editing videos and pictures a photographer or a special effects thing y’know

Which is better

Hugs or and kisses

Lips or eyes

Shorter or taller 

Older or younger I don’t really care about it

Nice arms or stomach

Hookup or relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant In between

Have you ever

Kiss a stranger: yess

Drunk hard liquor: yeeeessss

Lost glasses: nope, I’m really careful with my glasses.

Turned someone down: yes bc the girl was creepy as fuck

Sex on first date: nah

Broken someone’s heart: shit I don’t think so

Had your heart broken:  yes

Been arrested: almost, I was partying with my friends on the beach and we were smoking the night of San Juan (they light up fireworks and shit and people usually gather in the beach) and a cop went near us but we managed to hide our m*ria. Look 

Cried when someone died: yesss

Fallen for a friend: sadly yes

Do you believe in…

Yourself: sometimes 

Miracles: nope

Love at first sight: eeeew not really, bc love at first sight is only liking the body of the person (idk if I'm explaining myself, lmao sorry)

Santa Clause: when I was a kid

Kiss on the first date: yeeeess

Angels: have yo seen Chyler Leigh ?? yES I DO

Others

Best friend’s name: Lili*na

Eye color: Black 

Favorite movie: Logan fucks me up, Tomb Raider (all of them, both Jolie’s and Vikander’s, Infinity War even tho it fucks me up, Justice League bc of Amber’s Mera, Thor: Ragnarok bc Valkyrie and Hela??? cold beat my gay ass, Spiderman HOCO bc Zendaya and Laura Harrier??? yes please, Suicide Squad bc Margot Robbie makes me feel so freaking gay and also The Greatest Showman :)

Favorite actors: Madchen Amick ( alice cooper on riverdale) have y’all SEEN HER JESS CHRIST, Elizabeth Olsen, Tessa Thompson, Lucy Liu, Madelaine Petsch, Vanessa Morgan, Katie McGrath, Lauren German, Chyler Leigh, Melissa Benoist, Odette Annable, Floriana Lima, aLL THE ACTRESSES FROM ONCE UPON A TIME but the girl who plAYS ANNA MAKES ME SO FREAKING SOFT (Elizabeth Lail) 

[pristinepastel]

I was tagged by @tabris-of-red-jenny (thanks friendo!)

1) Name/nickname: Shannon, Pristine

2) Gender: Genderfluid Demigirl(I switch between being a girl and being genderless)

3) Star sign: Pisces

4) Height: 5’2”

5) Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

6) Favourite animal: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanoimbadatchoosingfavorites

7) Hours of sleep: Anywhere from 0-15. Insomnia~~(sung to the tune of the activia jingle)

8) Dogs or cats: I don’t have that el dorado gif but ye that

9) Number of blankets: Right now, just my fav blanket and a comforter!

10) Dream trip: Mmmaybe to Orlando in florida, for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

11) Dream job: concept artist slash character design!

12) Time: it’s 3:20pm

13) Birthday: February 22nd!

14) Favorite Bands: aaaaaaa again bad at favorites but maybe twenty one pilots or fallout boy(i’m v simple i kno lollo)

15) Favorite Solo Artists: I like a lot of cover artists like Jubyphonic and Jayneycakes, but I also like DMGames- he’s the one who creates fan songs for games like Bendy and the Ink Machine and fnaf!

16) Song Stuck In My Head: It’s from the credits for an anime I haven’t watched. I first heard it in a speedpaint video! it’s from spice and wolf and i don’t kno the name of the song but it’s in english!

17) Last Movie I Watched: Binta And The Great Idea! It’s an indie film I’m watching for my Writing and Inquiry class :^)

18) Last Show I Watched: The New Detectives: Case Studies in Forensic Science

19) When Did I Create My Blog: Sometime during january in 2012.

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: Mostly I reblog positivity/animal posts, fandom stuff, and writing/art references! I also post art of my characters and random tidbits about them.

21) Last Thing I Googled: “piano artists modern”. I want to add more songs to my sleeping playlist!

22) Other Blogs: I have a rp blog for overwatch that I don’t use v often called agentpastel

23) Do I Get Asks: Not very often, but when I have it’s mostly been people wishing me a good day or letting me know about something :^)

24) Why I Choose My URL: hoo boy it was originally for homestuck actually;;;;; i was making a trollsona and needed a username with two words in it that relate to me soo;;;

25) Following: 3557(ha.. haha;;;)

26) Followers: 412(i love you all!! :^D)

27) Lucky Number: Maybe 22? when in doubt use the birthday digits

28) Favorite Instrument: Never really thought about it but I can play the flute so i guess... that?

29) What Am I Wearing: I’m wearing my pjs which is basically a soft shirt w flower print on it and yoga pants!

30) Favorite Food: A four way tie between chicken nuggets, general tsos, philadelphia roll sushi, and pizza rolls!

31) Nationality: American

32) Favorite Song: plsstopwthefavoritesquestions;;;; uhh lets go w Warrior by Jackson Gamble for now

33) Last Book Read: Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: dragon age, mass effect, naruto(let me cheer up the abused slash mistreated slash sad children pleeeeease-)

tagging anyone who wants to! also @alienbarbieprincess because i don’t kno why not lollo enjoy roommate!

[paopuofhearts]

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions

Tagged by @trek-wars-and-sushi​

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don’t drink soda 2. Disney or Dreamworks: Okay like, the only Dreamworks movies I hardcore love are The Road To El Dorado and The Prince Of Egypt - and granted they rank ridiculously high on my list, but there are more Disney movies I generally like. So it’s a toss up. 3. Coffee or Tea: I love coffee, but I drink more tea. 4. Books or Movies: I tend to read more than I watch things - unless I have time to go on an outing to the movies and such [but usually I spend that kind of time going to the theatre to see musicals, sooo]. 5. Windows or Mac: Mac for work, Windows for gaming. 6. DC or Marvel: Not a really big fan of either. I mean, I like Wonder Woman, and the newer Ms. Marvel, and Hawkeye. But that’s about it. 7. Xbox or Playstation: Xbox. Gears Of War and Halo are some of my go-to games. 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: I have played like, maybe 2 hours of Dragon Age? And have yet to touch Mass Effect. So I don’t have much room to make judgment. 9. Night Owl or Early Rise: I prefer Night Owl, but with my job I tend to do Early Rise. 10. Cards or Chess: Chess is wicked awesome but I suck at it; I’m way better at cards. 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate 12. Vans or Converse: Hiking shoes. 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Again, didn’t do much in Dragon Age, sooo. 14. Fluff or Angst: Both 15. Beach or Forest: Forest 16. Dogs or Cats: Cats, but I do like dogs. 17. Clear Skies or Rain: I like soft rain and cloudy skies [hellooo Seattle] 18. Cooking or Eating Out: I can’t cook to save my life, so. 19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Mild. 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Both? 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Probably too cold, because it’s easier to put things on and curl up under blankets than it is to be naked and still be gross and sweaty. 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? In terms of general ideas, transfiguration seems cool. 23. Animation or Live Action: If a movie can be both, the animation tends to be better? 24. Paragon or Renegade: You’ve lost me. 25. Baths or Showers: Bathtime. 26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Team Hawkeye 27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi? Both 28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they:

“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” - Disney quote from Meet The Robinsons 

29. YouTube or Netflix: I like Lets Plays, but also the accessibility of Star Trek, sooo. 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson:  Harry Potter for life. 31. When You Feel Accomplished: When I finish something. 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: I’m more obsessive to Star Trek, but I love Star Wars too. 33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback [easier to fit into a bookshelf] 34. Handwriting or Typing: I type faster than I write, so typing is more efficient to keeping up with my thoughts 35. Velvet or Satin: Velvet I guess 36. Video Games or Movies: Gaming 37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? Own a dragon 38. Sunrise or sunset: Sunset because I’m usually awake for that 39. What’s your favourite song? FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS right now I’m back into Tribe Called Red, go check them out. 40. Horror Movies yes or no: YES 41. Long hair or short hair: Short hair [I’ve tried to grow out my hair but I just can’t] 42. Opera or Theatre: Theatre [musicals over operas, sorry] 43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek Star Trek [although that may become more and more of a reality, so my second option would be Harry Potter magic] 44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? Curry 45: Older guys or young guys? Older 46: If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be? Fox News holy shit. 47: Singing or dancing? Dancing; I like swing dancing 48: Instagram or Twitter? Twitter [because I don’t use Instagram] 49: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS? A lot 50: If there was a time period that you would gladly time travel to, to live or visit, what would it be? Times of big cultural or political revolutions 51: If you could take one fictional character into this world to live with you and what not, under the contingency that the movie/book/tv/game universe they came from acts as if they never existed, who would it be and why? CHEKOV FOR LIFE  52: What’s the story behind your tumblr account? I got a Tumblr to keep up to date on Glee things, and stuck around for the mass migration of fanfiction and fanart that was posted after LJ and DA kind of disappeared. 53. If you were suddenly rendered invisible for the day (your clothing also, you don’t have to be naked… unless you want) what is the most mischievous thing you would do? I would pretend to be a poltergeist. 54: If you had one wish to do anything you wanted with humanity, what would it be? Kindness, come on people. 55: What is your favorite time period for music? (Ex. The ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘20s, 2000s) I’m not particularly picky, really. I like a lot of music. Classical music [Vivaldi and Tchaikosky are my go-to], I like a lot of cultural music [Tribe Called Red does some great modern twists on stuff], I like New Orleans 20s music and Big Band 60s swing and all that glam rock from the 70s and 80s and childhood throwbacks on the 90s and all that punk rock from my high school 2000s so like. Really. Not that picky.

I don’t really have any questions.

And I’ll tag anyone and everyone who finds this on their dash.

Go!