#also the exchange when sam's saying he's like max but then breaks off in the middle of the sentence before he can say it and dean goes what

[weidli]

nightmare really is like. guy A, who is at the least passively suicidal and probably thinks he deserves to die, suggests killing guy B, who was physically abused by two thirds of his family while the last third enabled it and snapped and killed two of them and wants to kill the third . guy A, who we know would rather die then contemplate hurting the remaining members of his family even when they're trying to kill him. guy A, who says but it doesn't justify murdering his entire family. guy A's brother says do you think i could end up like [guy B] and guy A says you won't. not as long as i'm here

[yn-x-animeboy]

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.5

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

synopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

part 4: here

-----

Part 5- TIME SKIP

(a/n I will do another time skip so it wont turn out to be a 500 part fanfic)

Mini Billboard awards recap:

After the drunken hotel chaotic night you all were late for rehearsals, both your and BTS’s staff looked for you guys’ everywhere in the morning and the last place they thought to look for you all was in Jin’s room. Let's just say it was in general an interesting experience to find eight adults sleeping soundly in uncomfortable random positions. 

You all finally headed to your rehearsals for the performances. They invited you to watch them rehearse when you were taking a break from your own rehearsal. Even though the guys were tired, hungover, and their muscles ached from sleeping all over the place; they did such an amazing job at rehearsal, they were so professional. 

During the live award show your fans and ARMYs lost it everytime you guys would interact during the awards; the fact that you had met them last night and you all seemed to be such good friends now made fans so happy. Once again your name and BTS’s were going viral on social media; a bunch of ‘fancams’ were filmed and posted focusing on you all. 

You and BTS won all the categories you we’re nominated for that night and your performances went great too. That night after the award show ended, instead of going to the Awards After Party, you all decided to not go and instead hung out in Jin’s room again for the night. You ordered room service and champagne (this time everyone was only allowed to have 2 glasses max.).

After being all drained form the long day, you all went to your personal rooms. Jungkook again offered to take you to your room. When you arrived at your door you turned and looked at eachother,  this time sad smiles painted your faces, you had held in the tears when you where in Jin’s room because you felt sad your first real friends in the industry were going back to Korea tomorrow just like that.

Now you were standing in front of Jungkook, the man of your dreams, a literal fantasy that came true all thanks to your fans and supporters; you couldn’t help but tear up at the thought of letting someone like him go. 

You broke eye contact and turned towards the door to hide your tears, a small sniff from behind you made you stop dead in your tracks. Jungkook turned you around and hugged you tightly as he hid his face in the crook of your neck. You also wrapped your arms around him in response.

He loosened his hold and avoided eye contact with you as he was getting more and more emotional, his eyes where red and glossy; he cleared his throat and said “Well I think I should get going, It was so nice hanging out with you y/n- and meeting you, good night” he gave you another tight sad smile and walked off with his head hung low. 

You reached him and held onto the back of his shirt, “Don’t go....” you sniffed and played with the back of his shirt. “Do you want to.. maybe... hang out a little longer? O-only if you want to” you said awkwardly, but he smiled and nodded.

You went to the terrazze you had visited just the day before and sat on the outdoor chairs. You sat there talked all night. You stayed up until you could see the sun slowly rising; you both stood up, taking the sunrise as a sign to go back inside. Before you could even begin to move towards the door, “Y/n, can I hold you one more time?” Jungkook said, he was trying so hard to smile and not make you cry, but his little voice crack as he said it betrayed him. You sobbed and hugged him again, after a while he sat down, sitting you on his lap. You stayed like that until you received a “wake up” phone call from one of your staff members.

----

In the morning you all met each other outside the hotel, the boys said goodbye to you one by one hugging you and saving your phone number in theirs.  They even made plans, comparing your schedules and timezones, so that they could all facetime you daily.

While you waited for your assigned cars to pick you up, you all teared up and  huddled together saying goodbye once again. Paparazzi were peeking through the crowd of security and staff members to get an insight to the sad goodbye. 

----- time skip ----

It has been almost a year since the Jimmy Fallon Show. Even though the distance made everything more complicated, the guys have done everything in their power to make time in their busy days to dedicate time for you. After almost a year of daily video call conversations and catch-ups you have become such good friends, they even call you ‘yeodongsaeng’ (little sister) now; (the only one who doesn’t call you that is Jungkook tho, he calls you by your name or by random nicknames).

They have kept their promise after all this time, they facetime you EVERYDAY, they have never missed a day where they don’t call you, sometimes not all the seven members can be there for the call, but even if there is only one BTS member available, you WILL recive a call from them. 

You also have individual calls with the guys from time to time: 

Jin calls you once in a while when you are making dinner to help you/guide you and or just talk to you. 

Suga calls when he is stuck writing lyrics or creating beats for new songs, or just for musical advice. You are always the first to hear new BTS music now.

Jimin calls when he feels like talking, you have become each other's personal psychologists

J-Hope calls you every couple days to have “lunch together” through a screen. 

RM calls you too to chat a lot, you both recommend each other good books and even exchange lyrics from time to time. He also asks you to revise english lyrics to make sure they sound okay.

Taehyung calls you for pretty much everything: for advice, opinions, to catch up, for help, to keep him company etc.  He always knows how to make you laugh, and regularly interrupts your calls with other members.

Jungkook…. He doesn't just call you “sometimes”, he  not only  participates in the ‘daily facetime group call’, but he also calls you everyday before you go to bed, no matter what time it is in Korea or how busy he is, we always calls and to wish you a good night sleep; keeping you company and not hanging up until you fall asleep. Plus you two constantly text back and forth 24/7. 

You loved calling the guys and catching up with them every day, those calls were the highlight of your day; but every time you got a phone/video call, text, mail, snap, ANYTHING that was sent by Jungkook, your heart always skipped a beat; you felt tingles on the tips of your fingers every time you answer back; you smile stupidly at your phone and even now can’t sleep without your nightly virtual tuck in from Jungkook. 

(Deep down you knew your ‘platonic crush’ had become a real crush but you still denied it because in your mind, still, dating him seemed something impossible, but after every conversation you two have had over the course of almost a year left no doubt in your mind, he was the one for you)

-----

One day, you visited your label’s building, you had a scheduled meeting pretty early in the morning, you had never been this early anywhere, it was currently 5:30 am. and you were just arriving.  Once you step into the meeting room you are greeted by the intimidating group of businessmen and businesswomen who are part of your team. Even though they are intimidating and powerful;  they are kind hardworking people; they really respect you and always listen to what you  want or have to propose. 

Walking in, you are greeted respectfully by them; the boss of the company stands up, gives you a side hug, and opens the chair next to his, inviting you to sit there, after you take a seat and your manager takes a seat next to you too. The meeting begins going over normal business stuff you don't really understand, (Sam would probably just translate the info later into simple words for you.) They talked about numbers, statistics and percentages until someone’s assistant said the ‘important person’ they had been waiting for was finally ready.

 You turned to the door as you expected the ‘important guest’  to come in through the door, but instead his video call was answered and projected on the room’s screen from a laptop. 

You recognized him immediately, he was BTS’s PD Bang Si-hyuk, he was the owner of BTS’s label company. You greeted him through the screen in Korean but he actually greeted you back in English before greeting your team.

the meeting’s summary: 

Bang Si-hyuk talked about how much BTS liked you as a person and as an artist; and how the Hybe Corporation also really admired and respected you.

He invited you to Korea next week to meet the Hybe corporation, and overlook some business proposals

He also offered for you to participate in RUN BTS, while you were there and hang out with the boys if you agreed.He hinted you would be seeing them more often, which made you more confused

You agreed to go and to visit the company and OBVIOUSLY to see the guys, but still, you were confused as to why this offer was being made, why now, why you, why?

After you kindly thanked him, you also asked why he was doing it. You were confused why make such a big deal for you to visit, and what he meant by ‘business proposals’ you were to overlook there.

Bang Si-hyuk tried to explain in short and simple words; he explained that:  Hybe and your label company had had meetings before, overlooking the possibility of merging part of your company under your name with Hybe, they were not only  interested in collaborating with you, but actually working with you. This would give you many more opportunities as an artist and for your label’s name. (your company has connections to other music companies in other countries too, but this time it felt more of a big deal to you than the others tbh) 

In conclusion if you agreed, and signed the contract; you could become part of the Hybe company while staying under your Label’s name

By doing this, it meant: 1. you had an extra contact in Korea (just like your company had in other countries) 2. extra work opportunities (thanks to your Korean speaking skills and influence) 3. possible future collaborations with BTS mainly, plus other K-pop artists 4. becoming a producer for other artists under the Hype record label  (something like what Suge does irl; you are now able to produce or work behind the scenes making music for you, BTS, and others. a.k.a your dream come true) 5. SO ON AND SO ON. 

You asked for the papers and after revising them with your lawyer and team you signed it, satisfied and excited tho what's to come.

You worked hard and finished all of your weekly tasks and even worked on things you had scheduled for next weeks. Before you knew it you were on your way to Korea…

You traveled on your  private plane;  you used it mainly to travel and avoid creating crowds in airports. (this was safer for you, your team and fans.)

When you arrived at Seoul, as you were getting off the plane and looked up after watching your feet as you went down the plane’s steps you saw seven boys stand out from the other people. They ran towards you and huddled around you hugging you tightly, they didn't let go of you, even as you all walked towards the assigned cars and again tightly rode the same car together like that one time after meeting on your way to the hotel. Staff members laughed at the Deja vú they felt as they saw a recreation of that chaotic day a year ago

It felt as if you all had never left each other, no weird silence, or awkward interactions, you all picked up where you left off.

When you arrived at the Hyde building, Hybe bilingual staff greeted you and your team, introducing themselves as the people who would be in charge of our care while visiting.

They took you and the few team members from your staff  traveling with you to one of the floors where they gave your team some temporary office cubicles, so they could do their jobs while away from their cubicles back in America.

The Hybe staff also showed you to a private studio/office next to Sugas’s, it was decorated for you, it was spacious, comfy and waay better than your studio/office from back home. They told you they wanted you to have a personal space where you could hang out or work, since it was probable you would now be traveling back and forth from Korea and the US, due to the new business alliance between your companies.

The guys showed you around the building and introduced you to many Hybe staff members. They all made you feel at home.

You visited PD Bang Si-hyuk at his office and met him in person. He was so kind and welcoming, totally opposite from what you were expecting. He told you how excited he was for you to be part of the team and to work with your company. He also asked you if you could record a short video for his nieces who loved you.

Then, after finishing the tour the guys took you to their favorite restaurant in Korea; they taught you how to eat Korean food, how to properly hold chopsticks and about general Korean culture.

They showed you to the nice building of apartments where they currently lived and where you would also be staying when you came here.

You all toured you apartment and hung out the rest of the afternoon, enjoying each other's company. 

After having dinner and chatting for hours the boys waved you off as they left your temporary home; they wanted to stay up and drink (again Jimin’s and Jin’s idea) with you but they knew you were super jet lagged from the time difference, fighting off sleep as you tried to enjoy your time with the guys.

They lived in the same apartment complex, but a different building, (a lot of famous Korean celebrities stay here too due to the security and convenience)The apartment complex was almost like a hotel resort or a private villa/island, it was huge, it had everything, form tennis courts, gyms, cafés, etc. It was also close to all the major ‘artist’ studios, sets, buildings. 

So once the guys left, all they had to do to get home was ride the elevator down to your building’s the main floor, walk a bit, enter their building, get on an elevator, go up a couple floors, walk a little more and then into their shared million dollar apartment that was a literal castle compared to your apartment. (your apartment was big and luxurious too, but theirs was a multimillion dollar apartment)

You just arrived and felt so at home, everyone was so nice and promised to take good care of you. Nobody looked down at you or your team for being foreign or for being the ‘new guys’. Everything felt again like a dream. One day you are talking about BTS to your fans, the next you meet them, the next you are making contracts with the company they work for, the next you will be working with them; What’s next?

For now you are in Korea for two weeks max. The plan was to introduce you to the company, talk about future plans, projects, etc., and once that is done, go back to America and every couple of months or weeks depending on the schedules, travel back to Korea, etc, etc.

----

You brushed your teeth as an uncontrollable smile painted your face. Once you got ready for bed and finished texting your staff members making sure they were comfortable and well taken care of  after a long day, you heard a knock at the door. You cringed at the noise, you felt as if you were hung over almost, in reality really you were just super Jet lagged (the day before coming here you binged watched a TV show in one night, packed just hours before leaving to the airport and ditched sleep all together before and during the plane ride...stOpid) You stumbled around the unknown apartment with the lights off towards the door; it was not that late at night but who would be looking for you right now.

When you looked through the peephole you recognized them immediately; their hair was now a little longer from the last time you saw them, they had different earrings decorating their ears, they seemed different, still super attractive, but that smile did not change at all, it was still that adorable bunny smile that seemed melt your heart every time. 

You quickly typed the alarm code, unlocked the multiple locks on the door and swung it open, revealing a nervous Jungkook, you had hung out with him and the guys less than an hour ago, but now he was nervous… (he was scared you changed your mind about him after almost a year from meeting and seeing each other in person, he was scared that he was not you celebrity crush anymore, he was scared that the real feelings he had developed form all your daily video calls, texts, random phone calls were not corresponded, he was scared that you had forgotten about those night at the terrazze, he was scared you had changed after a year).

As he stood frozen you couldn’t wait or control yourself any longer and you flung yourself towards him; you hugged him as tight as your body could (during all the time you hung out today you never once had a moment just the two of you alone) but as you leaped and wrapped your hands around him you started thinking about him and how he could be feeling right now and couldn't help but feel a little insecure, (what if he had come all the way back here to tell you whatever happened a year ago in New York at that terrazze was a mistake, that all the calls and texts were just friendly exchanges, what if he came to tell you you were better off as friends or worse.. better of as colleagues…)

It took Jungkook a split second to respond to your hug, you loosened your grip as those thoughts had sworn in your head, and after realizing Jungkook was not hugging you back, so you prepared yourself to get your heart broken… but that all went away as Jungkook wrapped his arms around you, he lifted you a little off the ground as you rewrapped your arms around him, hiding your your face in the crook of his neck. You inhaled his scent as he held you even tighter against him. He rocked your bodies lightly as you held each other in front of your door. 

After, you loosened the hold on each other, but didn’t let go, you looked into those beautiful dark brown eyes you had missed and had prayed to see in person one more time after all this time; He lifted his hands from around you and cupped your face, lightly stroking your cheeks back and forth with his thumbs. “hi” you said, just like that one time in that New York terrazze, “hi” he responded with an adoring smile as his eyes traveled through your face, looking at your every detail, he didn’t want to miss anything, h was so glad to finally see your face in person instead of on a 2-D cellphone screen.

 As you two stood outside looking at each other you suddenly  shivered a little from a cold air breeze that swooped by, it was pretty chilly outside compared to your comfy apartment’s room temperature, it was almost winter; you gently took your arms from his neck and wrapped them around you to warm you up. You had answered the door barefoot, in your pajama shorts and oversized flowy t-shirt without thinking twice. But you then realized Jungkook was wearing a short sleeve oversized shirt too, it was pretty chilly outside and he came all the back to your apartment not wearing a hoodie or jacket. 

“Omg Jungkook it's cold outside why wouldn’t you wear a jacket, jeez” you said as you pulled on his arm leading him inside the apartment to keep him from the cold. “Actually I came back here to get my hoodie back,” Jungkook said. A small “Oh…” escaped your lips as you switched on the light illuminating the once dark room “I see” you again said, almost whispering, avoiding his look as you walked deeper into the room to look for the missing hoodie. You felt disappointed almost, ‘he came back for his hoodie duh, why would he have bothered coming back to ONLY see you’ you though as you looked in the living room, you  didn't see the hoodie there so you then went to the small dining room next to the kitchen to see if it could be there, ‘maybe he took it off before we all sat and ate the take out dinner for dinner’. You spotted the black fabric neatly sung over the seats’s back where JK sat earlier.

Jungkook took off his shoes and tried to catch up with you before you could take the hoodie off the seat and after seeing your reaction to what he had just said; yes he actually did leave his hoodie by accident, but that wasn’t the reason why he came all the way back, so when he saw how your face dropped and heard that reply of yours, it gave him the courage to say why he came back. 

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat before saying “Um, y/n, actually, ‘me forgetting my hoodie’ was just an excuse to come back here and see you again” he swallowed and looked down at his feet. “I don’t really care about the hoodie, I wanted to come here and see what would happen; if you would be excited to see me alone, if you would be glad or happy it was me at the door, you have no idea how bad I wanted to be the first and only one to hold you as you got of the plane, how badly I wanted to run towards you, picking you up and not let go, how bad I wanted to spend the day just the two of us and just- um *clears throat again*”  he fiddled with his fingers, he was so nervous to admit that outlawed he didn't even notice you turning back to look at him as he  confessed. You found his actions to be so adorable and cute.

You giggled and stood in front of him, once you were closer you carefully took his fiddling hands in your left hand and used your right hand to lift his face up to look at you. “Thank you, you made me really happy by coming here to see me, I missed you so much too and couldn’t wait to hang out with you again, I only wished for an opportunity where only the two of us could hang out, but you took the courage to come all the way back here, thank you” you responded to him and his actions with a warm and loving smile that made Jungkook’s legs feel like giving out and heart feel as it could explode. 

He again  observed your face now under a brighter light, he couldn’t believe how your face could look so, or more, beautiful then you face with the light makeup you wore just hours ago. You broke eye contact and spoke, “So um do you have to leave anytime soon?” as you looked anywhere but his face. Your tired eyes and shy tone warmed his heart even more “No, I don’t….. why?” he lowered his face, closing a big gap of space in front of you, forcing you to stop avoiding eye contact and look at him again.

“Well um I was thinking we could hang out again tonight. I could make some…. *you yawn* popcorn and watch a movie, or I could make some coffee and we could talk, or…..” you wanted to keep going but you felt another yawn coming so you stopped talking to fight it off. Jungkook chuckled at your adorable yawns. He  took the hoodie he had forgotten in the first place form the chair behind you and put it over your head. 

“Y/n you are tired, I think it’s best if you rest and tomorrow we could find a way to hang out again just the two of us…” he said as he fixed the hoodie around you, but you cut him off, “Please don’t leave, I haven’t seen you in a year Jeon Jungkook.” you realized how needy and clingy you sounded, but you actually did want to hang out with him. 

You rubbed your tired eye, fixed the hair around your face (your hair was inside the hoodie but some baby hairs tickled your face) and looked back at him, his eyes were wide and surprised at your reaction to him leaving,  “I’m sorry, it’s okay, I get it. I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t feel like doing, it’s okay...guess i will see you tomorrow then” you said as you tried to hide the sad look off your face and smile at him. 

He was moved, the fact that you didn’t want him to leave meant so  much to him, he took you face in his hands and kissed your forehead softly, he then kissed the end your your nose he then kissed the space next to your lips, he didn’t want to kiss you and make you feel uncomfortable or taken advantage of; but you being you, immediately spoke as he kissed the side of your lips ``aye that is not my lips...what a tease” in a sleepy tone. He chuckled as he opened his eyes and looked at you. You had your eyes closed, head slightly looking upwards and a smart smile, as you found your own reaction funny. 

He chuckled and blurted out: “cute..”. You opened your eyes to clap back, but before you could even open your mouth and say something back he leaned in again, shuting you up real quick…. but he leaned slowly…..very slowly…..v eee r y slowly…...SUPER SLOWLY, he was taking his dear time, he now discovered he liked teasing you like this. You got impatient and just closed the space between you for him, giving him a short peck before pulling away. This was the first kiss you have had after a year; you walked around him to tease him back for teasing you in the first place. He stopped you by placing his arm around your waist, “Are you expecting me to accept ‘that’ as our first kiss after being apart for a year…” he said. 

“Oh, so I’m not a good kisser? Was that not good enough.. okay… I guess I-'' you played the victim but were quickly cut short by Jungkook pulling the hoodie on you towards him and stealing a kiss from you.

You smiled against his lips at his neediness, but kissed him back as you placed your hands on the back of his head, sliding your fingers through his hair. He slid his hands under your hoodie and placed them on your bare waist, and pulling you even closer. You kissed each other slowly, taking in every detail about the kiss, not wanting to miss a thing; as things heated up you picked up the pace, the sweet kiss turning hungry and deeper. He moved his hands from your waist downwards and your once delicate fingers playing through his hair suddenly pulled softly making him groan against your lips; he squeezed his hands behind you making you whimper against his lips, he used this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss even more; he had lifted his hands and placed back on your sides as he softly caressed your skin under the hoodie, you wanted to to that too; so you slid your hands from the back of his head, down to his chest and too, under his shirt, you could feel his abs tense as your cold fingers lightly brushed against his skin, continuing to slide your hands around his torso, and gently running your fingers on his skin. That action made his breath hitch at his throat and his heart skip a beat. 

The two of you kissed passionately taking the other deeper, not wanting to let go. After a while you both slowly pulled away, breathlessly and numb from the kiss, you both wanted to go further but knew it was not time yet. You rested your foreheads together as you catched your breaths, looking adoringly to the other person, swollen lips, rosy cheeks and curious eyes. 

He spoke first, as he used his finger to soothe the skin under your eyes, “You need to rest y/n, come on”, pulling your arm and leading you. You thought that meant he was leaving, but this time you didn't fight him back; but instead of leading you towards the door he lead you to the big fancy couch in the living room, he turned on the TV to a random Korean variety show and lowered the volume to the point were if there isn’t absolute silence you couldn’t hear a thing the TV was playing. 

You both sat on the deep couch, he lent you his arm behind your head as a pillow as you sat closely next to him, the silent TV and warmness coming from the handsome man next to you quickly started to drowse off. Jungkook planned to keep you company until you fell asleep and then leave you to rest comfortably. 

JK watched the screen as he waited for you to fall asleep. Once he could feel your breathing rhythm became deeper indicating you officially had given in to sleep, he looked down to you and smiled at how adorable you looked, he stared at you for a little longer as he reflected on how lucky he was his once celebrity crush now actual crush was so close to him; he was so glad to have such an amazing person in his life and prayed he never had to be without you in his life ever again; he badly wished he could have you as his and only his but he understood the circumstances, he was happy he could athletes share precious moments like this with you. 

Jungkook shifted in his seat as he was about to stand up to leave you the full couch to rest, but you turned towards him, and wrapped your arms around him. “Don’t…” you whispered against his shirt, you were asleep but your sleepy conscience managed to say that. Jungkook couldn’t resist, he planted a soft kiss on the top of your hair, he then pulled you back with him from a sitting position to a horizontal one as he laid his back on the couch taking you with him without waking you up. He too quickly gave in to sleep as he held each other. 

---------

a/n: I'M SO SORRY for taking so long to update, I had writer’s block and had no idea how to pick up the story, but last night I got inspired hahaha. I re-wrote this part and started writing part 6&7 so wait for those too.

THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT, ILY :3 Xx

PART 6 ------> here

> NEXT PARTS WILL BE BETTER I SWEAR <3

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Sigh. It’s quiet today, so I guess it’s about time to talk about 12x06: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.  

This is an episode without Cas, so clearly it revolves entirely around Cas (I'm kidding, but only a little bit).  It’s also a bottle episode and a meta writer’s wet dream, so excuse me while I nerd out - this is a long one to unpack, and I have spent too much time doing it for you.  That’s ok because, as Sam says:

DIVE IN AFTER THE CUT BUDDIES!

The Asa montage is where we start.

Asa is a Dean mirror. The parallels are pretty clear - he’s a scruffy rough around the edges hunter, Mary is the reason he got into hunting, he wears a ton of flannel, etc.  If you remain unsure, the writers throw this in at the very beginning in the montage of Asa’s life as a hunter So That You Know:

Bucky: Hey, you know they make new cars, right? Asa: I don’t want a new car. This is my lucky car. 

***Canadian!Dean confirmed.

Shaine Jones may also be the Canadian Jensen Ackles.

I don’t make the rules ok?

Back in the US, the boys surprise Jody with a visit. 

In case you forgot the episode prior to this one:

Side note: domestic Jody gives me life. 

We’re clearly supposed to see how Jody is a mom figure for the boys, and it feels nice for them to have that, especially since Mary is Taking Some Space.  Their entire dynamic warms even my cold black soul.

[romantic scene of a couple silhouetted against a sunset while sweeping music plays on Jody’s TV. The couple kisses.] 

DEAN

[his mouth full of pizza] Jody, you watching some kind of chick flick here?

JODY

Well, Dean. I’m a chick. 

Kim Rhodes YOU ARE A DELIGHT.  A side note - I know this exchange is supposed to be funny, but I feel sad for Dean (who clearly is a rom com chick).  This is a perfect example of Dean struggling to present some fabricated image of heteronormative masculinity that’s not the heart of who he actually is.  His surprise that a “badass sheriff chick” can also enjoy rom coms makes me fucking upset.  

ALSO:

Anyway, Asa has passed on and the boys tag along with Jody to the wake in support.  

SAM

Yeah, no, Jody. We… we know you’ll be fine, but… you know, we never go to hunter gatherings, outside of bars. Dad always said they were trouble, so…

DEAN

Yes, you’d be doing us a favor if you let us tag along.

***more receipts that John Winchester was an isolating abuser.  They could have at least had a normal HUNTER life and friends who hunted.

SAM  

That is a big house. [Music continues playing, coming from inside the house now]

***We now establish one “theme” of the episode.

JODY

Family home. Asa was just a guy. 

AKA pretty brutal implication that Asa didn’t have a family of his own.

Speaking of implications:

[Jody removes her coat and the three of them begin mingling. Dean finds his way to the kitchen and a cooler full of beer] DEAN

No label. Well, that’s a red flag. 

****LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON****

....

....

....

GIRL SEND HELP

Enter Bucky, who is actually (SPOILER!) the villain of the episode.

Do all hunters just walk around with this manly flannel/weird symbolic necklace combo?  Looking at you Bucky and Dean.  

Dean is surprised to find that people know who he is:

But doesn’t seem to have an issue with it until -

***Someone who just bragged the entire five hour car ride about killing Hitler shouldn’t be this concerned about what people are saying about him right? 

Or is he thinking it may involve something he isn’t comfortable sharing - since apparently there are things Dean doesn’t feel comfortable sharing as established by the prior couch conversation with Jody?  Hmmmmmm...

***Compare the expressions.  The “you’ve died four times” response is the same as the smug/proud “I killed Hitler” face.  The reaction to the “stories” is the “hey this is my personal business” reaction Dean had to Sam’s Japanese erotica art form comment. He is thinking specifically about something personal.

I wonder what it could be.

I don’t think any one had to teach Max Banes the art of seduction, but also thank you.

Also, manifesting Dean being raised by Max and Alicia’s Cool Witch Mom instead of John Trash Winchester.  Because that’s what we’re supposed to think here, correct?  Two sibling hunters usually present a brother mirror.

Worth noting Sam’s surprise that witches can also be hunters.  The John Winchester Bigotry Brain Rot runs deep.  (GOD the Sam-witch thing would have driven him crazy I LIVE FOR THAT).

Dean escapes to Asa’s office/room and proceeds to go through his things.

[Dean is in Asa’s office and finds an angel blade mounted on blue velvet inside an ornate glass-lidded box. He opens it, reaches in and pulls out the angel blade, comfortably spinning it in his hand when Sam walks in.]

SAM

Hey.

DEAN

Oh, hi. This is a real Angel Blade. I mean, this guy was legit. 

***that’s weird, why does Canadian!Dean have an angel blade?  We haven’t heard anything about angels yet, and it wasn’t in the opening montage.  Hmmmmmm, I say. Hmmmmmmm...

***Sam is also concerned about The Stories They Tell 

This one particularly:

Honestly I don’t know why he’s THAT surprised that people know he was possessed by Lucifer?  Didn’t he start like multiple apocalypses?  That’s something people tend to be in the know about. Anyhoo.

DEAN

Yeah. Apparently we’re a little bit legendary. 

SAM 

Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods.

DEAN

He died on the job. No better way to go. 

SAM

You really believe that? 

DEAN

Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way. 

***Insert deep internal screaming about 15x20 here***

It’s Jody’s turn to be uncomfortable as we find out she and Asa were more than just friends and everyone knew it and Said Things About It and Told Stories About It.

HMMMMMMM...

Dean is surprised that Jody not only enjoys rom coms, but ruggedly hot men. Another thing they have in common.

As Dean comes to terms with the idea that Jody can be a mother figure and also a human person with a life and her own feelings and needs and thoughts, enter the person whom said lesson is actually about:

This is a Kim Rhodes Facial Expression stan account now.

So cute how Jody knows immediately that Dean is not okay.  Time to reach:

JODY

Huh. Is that why you spent the entire ride up here telling me in extreme, excruciating detail how you killed Hitler, but, uh, you neglected to mention the fact that your mom is back from the dead? 

***look, it’s another Dean doesn’t like others knowing personal information parallel!***

DEAN 

Yeah, no big deal. 

JODY

That’s a lie.

DEAN

JODY …

JODY

Look, maybe this isn't my place, and this is epic stuff, but

JODY

Yeah. Because what if I’ve changed. What if they changed? What if it just didn’t work out the way I wanted?  If you wanna talk about anything

***Killing Hitler used yet again to show Dean doesn’t care about oversharing hunting stories, but he doesn’t like for people to know personal ones.  Also, Jody mentions her son and her husband.  Her family and her romantic partner.  

Dean wasn’t just reunited with Mary this season. He was also reunited with Cas, after saying goodbye to him at the end of Season 11 when he headed to what he thought was going to be his death as the Amara-bomb.

So, this conversation isn't just about Mary (the “anything”).  It’s also about Cas (the”...absolutely anything”).

Mary chats with Mama Fox and more Points Are Made about hunters not getting to have a “normal life” or family:

MARY

I saved his life. 

LORRAINE

[scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake. 

***sending Mary on a guilt spiral about Asa (mirroring her other guilt spiral about hunting as a life for her own sons)

Speaking of mirrors:

BUCKY

And Asa loved that Jeep. Fuses were shorted, fuel line was busted. Ah, he didn’t care. He’d just roll up his sleeves, he’d get right to work. 

Time to learn about today’s Big Bad.

BUCKY

Jael. He’s a crossroads demon. And he hangs people. It’s his thing. Snaps their neck, slits their throat. He’s a real piece of work. 

***Wait a second.  Jael is a demon?  Don’t...angel’s names usually end in “el” in SPNverse?

Samandriel.

Uriel.

Gabriel.

Raphael.

Gadreel.

Castiel.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Anyways the demon [questionable] killed Asa and now everyone  is trapped and also In Grave Danger.  

BUCKY

Exactly. Right, so five years later, Jael– he came back, and he came for Asa. 

JODY

How so? 

BUCKY

Asa was seeing this woman, right? She had a kid. 

LORRAINE

Marlene. 

BUCKY

Yeah, Marlene. Jael got into her. It didn’t matter that he was killing people, he wanted Asa to know it was personal. He gets off on it. 

***that’s so weird, didn’t someone else in the show start seeing a woman with a kid - 

what a sexy little coincidence.

oh and didnt  a supernatural being come back right around that time too - 

HMMMMMMMM.  No killing though.  That’s the difference between angels and demons, I guess.

(meanwhile Dean has been drinking alone outside - as he does, and is realizing he can’t get back in)

HI QUEEN

Also, this immediately took me to 

this show isn’t fair.

****sob break****

Jael Posession 1:

So curious how there are two siblings and then one gets possessed by something Satanic and the other one is good at seducing men.

SO FUCKING CURIOUS.

Jael Possession 2:

Elvis. Random.  Though he was the guy who brought up the Stories Sam Was Surprised Were Circulating -

He was also oddly interested in it.  Methinks Elvis thoroughly enjoyed the Jael possession.

Bilie gets Dean back in the house.  The words “one-time deal” are said a lot of times.

BONUS: Jensen why are you so pretty:

The hunters get to work, and I live for Max Bane’s pentagram aesthetic.

MAX

I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character. 

***TBH, same.

Jael possession 3:

****Kim Rhodes is even better when she is playing evil.

JODY/JAEL:

I had so hoped you’d kill your mom. Wouldn’t that be a riot? 

[Mary draws the angel blade and charges at Jody. She cuts Jody’s arm before Sam wrestles her away.] 

SAM

No! Mom!

MARY

What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. 

******WOOF MARY - I REPEAT TO YOU THAT THE JOHN TRASH WINCHESTER BRAIN ROT RUNS DEEP.

Also did you immediately flash back to this with me?

Gets me thinking that Dean’s feelings for Cas are made twice as complicated by the fact that he is also a supernatural creature.  Another Reason Why John Winchester Would Disapprove.

****Just as he would Disapprove of Sam Being Possessed By the Devil and all that (never forget he told Dean to kill him because of the whole made unclean by demon blood thing). 

Right on cue:

JODY/JAEL

Oh, I have heard so many stories about you Winchesters. And I desperately want the Lucifer thing to be true.  

***Stories again. Jael proceeds to go into Stories That Are Dark Personal Shameful Secrets:

JAEL

As for the rest of you, I have been inside your heads. I know all about you. For example, the twins. Too frightened to tell anyone that they actually came to say goodbye to their daddy. Or the grieving mother who hated the fact that her son was a hunter so much she’d hide his gear, she’d sabotage his Jeep, anything to keep him from hunting. Not that it worked. Could’ve tried harder, huh? 

[She gestures at her own face] And this meatsuit you all seem to care so much about. She actually fantasized about a life with Asa. Can you believe that? Like that worthless man– 

***HMMMMMMMMM

[Bucky gets off the floor and sneaks up behind Jody/Jael] 

BUCKY 

Shut your filthy mouth. 

[Jody/Jael grabs Bucky by the neck and forces him to his knees] 

JODY/JAEL

And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine. 

***Excuse me? THIS IS GETTING VERY...subtextual.  A dark timeline supernatural being/hunter relationship [ending badly because demons only know how to take, consume and possess]? ...Asael?  CURIOUS. 

They chant the exorcism, a different hunter doing each iteration (beautifully done) 

and send Jael back to hell, but not before Bucky shares his Shameful Story - he’s the one who killed Asa.

Elaboration:

BUCKY

Asa, he was just all– he was just always so stubborn. Look, we were in the woods. [We see the scene play out as Bucky describes it] Jael, he… he was taunting him. Asa wanted to chase him, but he didn’t have the angel blade. I said, “Let’s go back.” He called me a coward, and he shoved me, so I shoved him back, and he fell. He hit his head. Asa? I didn’t mean to do it. But it was a mistake. Asa. Asa? An accident. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Asa hated that damn demon so much that I just…

DEAN

Oh, you thought people would buy that Jael killed him? So you hung your best friend to cover your own ass. 

BUCKY

What are you gonna do to me? 

ALICIA:

Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. 

MAX

You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever. 

***Shameful Stories that Define You, what a theme.  Also, definitely a supernatural being potentially having some subtextual feelings for Canadian!Dean.  Hmmm.

***Funeral pyre and side discussion about how Asa did have a family, and children, and a potential supernatural sidepiece.

In conclusion, Supernatural is a love story.  Thank you for watching this dark timeline/Canadian dub.  You’re dismissed for the day.  Go eat bacon.

[writtenwinchester]

I See You || Whiskey and Bruises - Pt. 3

Masterlist | Send In Requests | Buy Me A Coffee

Word Count: 2281

Warnings: this is just pure angst, physical and verbal abuse, attempt sexual assault mentioned, tipsy billy

Pairing: Billy x Winchester Reader

A/N: yay! Finally finished! Part four will be posted next week, enjoy! x

You remember the first time you saw them.

Previously, your mother and you got into a brutal fight, which lead to many bruises and tears. Including being sent to your room.

Nobody ever comes over, not even your mother’s friends. So when you heard the doorbell ring, you crept out of your bedroom and peeked downstairs, catching sight of the two men standing at your door step. They sounded familiar, too familiar. The taller one with the longer hair, glanced up, and for a brief moment you made eye contact. In a panic, you scuffled back against the floor. Terrified of the consequences you could receive for leaving your room.

As you heard the footsteps come up your stairs, you ran back to your room. Shutting the door quickly behind you, before it reopened. “I’m not sure what you did, but there’s two agents here for you.” Your mother turned to walk out of the room, with you trailing behind her before she spun around and pointed a finger at her. “Don’t fuck this up! You know where they send kids who get taken away.” “Yes mom.” “Ma’am.” She hissed, before walking out of your room and heading back downstairs, leaving you with tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. “Yes ma’am.”

Billy never showed to third.

Were you surprised? No. Did it still affect you? Slightly, but you’d never admit it. You’d grown close with the boy, just as you’d grown close with Darcy, even if she was just a suspect.

The only concern you had for Billy was the bruises he had almost daily, when you both showed up to your little field at the park. The blue and green mark that formed along his jaw was enough for you to reach over and gently run your fingers across it, but he just took your hand and told you it was nothing. But you knew that lie, because that was your lie.

“What’s that?” The green eyed man in front of you gestured to the bruise on your chin, just as you shrugged and took a sip of the drink in your small hands. “I dunno.”

The two agents in your house informed your mother that they would take you down the road for hot chocolate, to ease and calm the topic at hand.

The man glanced at the other man beside him, raising his eyebrows before looking back at you, “what do you mean ‘I dunno’?” “I probably fell.” “Probably.” The other man nodded, as they exchanged looks, you kept your mind on the hot chocolate infront of you. “Okay, Y/n, my name’s Sam, and this is my brother Dean.” Dean gave you a small wave, “we got your phone call a few weeks ago.” Your eyes widened, “where’s my dad?” “Y/n-“ “did you tell him I called?” “Sweetheart, listen, there’s a lot you don’t know, and we’ll explain everything, but you have to be entirely honest with us, okay?” You thought back to your mother’s words, you knew where they would put you. “Okay.”

Billy never showed up.

You told yourself that you didn’t care, that it didn’t matter, but you knew deep down that it hurt. Had he forgotten? Was he okay? Maybe he was sick? Maybe it had something to do with the bruises on his face? You couldn’t pin point it.

When Dean came to pick you up, you didn’t say a word. Except lean your head against the window as he gave you a look, “what’s wrong?” “Just drive, De.” “Tell me what’s wrong first.” “He didn’t come, Okay? Now just drive.” Dean grumbled, saying how he was going to kick his ass if he ever saw him. But you didn’t pay attention, you were too busy worrying about what made Billy break his promise for the third time in a row.

You remember coming home to yelling.

Your mother’s current boyfriend was throwing a fit, he was throwing and kicking things around the house. She was screaming at him to get out, but he was banging her head against the wall.

You remember running, getting in between the pair as you shoved him away, standing in front of your mother like a shield, even though she’d throw you to the wolves in an instant. “The hell are you doing,” he roared, “get the fuck out of my way!” He shoved you aside, and your head collided with the kitchen cabinet. “Stop, stop!” You yelled, and your mother yelled back. “Go to your room!” “But-“ “I said, get to your room!” You didn’t budge, you were trying to help her, didn’t she understand?

“Listen to your mother Y/n!” “You’re hurting her!” “This doesn’t concern you, get!” You knew. You knew what you were getting yourself into, but you didn’t move. At such a young age, you knew the difference between right and wrong.

She slapped you, for being stupid. She hit you, for not listening. She kicked you, for being a brat. You didn’t fight back; because you thought you deserved it. When you watched your mother’s boyfriend unloop his belt, tears were pouring down your face. “Daniel, Daniel, please.. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” “It’s sir.” The belt was raised over his head, and came down in a striking pain.

The next morning, your mother told Sam and Dean that you were sick that day.

“Y/n.” Billy groaned, stumbling across the field in an attempt to reach you. He completely reeked like Jack Daniels, but your main concern was his bruised and bloodied face.

“Billy? My god, what happened?” “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He mumbled, chuckling lowly as he wiped the dried blood from his mouth. “Billy, please.” “It’s nothing, Y/n.” “Well obviously it’s not.” “Drop it, y/n.” “Billy-“ “I said drop it!” He snapped, and you flinched. His face softened, realizing he scared you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, as you let out a sigh and gently pulled him in for a warm hug. “It’s okay. Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” He nodded, “yeah.”

The next time you saw Sam and Dean, you showed them the bruises and scars. Dean kept his jaw clenched, and Sam couldn’t look at you for more than five seconds. “I’m sorry.” “Sweetheart, listen to me, it’s not your fault. Okay?” “But-“ “no buts, it’s not your fault.” You slowly nodded your head, “Y/n, does the name ‘Winchester’ mean anything to you?” You nodded, “that’s my name.” San nodded, “see, our name’s are also Sam and Dean Winchester.” “Just like me?” “Exactly like you princess.” “You see, we think it has something to do with our- your dad.” “What do you mean?” “Well, John’s our father too.” Your eyes widened, “like, related?” They nodded, “we think we’re your brothers, Y/n.” You went quiet, glancing down at your hands and twiddling with your thumbs. “I never had brothers before.” “Well starting today, you have two.”

“Shit.” Billy hissed, as you dabbed the rubbing alcohol against the cut above his eyebrow. “I’m sorry.” The fact that he had been drinking didn’t help at all, especially when you wanted him to stay still. “How do you know how to do this?” “I just know.” Billy nodded, watching as your hands worked along his face and body. In ways, he was jealous. Jealous with how smart and talented you were, with the fact that you had two big brothers who loved and looked out for you, even Dean’s Impala had him jealous.

“I hate you.” He mumbled, and you stopped working on his shoulder. “What?” He shook his head, “sorry, I didn’t except it to come out like that,” “then how was it supposed to come out?” Billy went quiet, furrowing his eyebrows as you placed down the cloth in your hand. “Well?” “I dunno, just not like that.” “Then talk to me Billy.” “It’s just, I’m pissed off that everything’s so great for everyone, for you.” You furrowed your eyebrows, “what do you mean?” “C’mon Y/n, my mom left, my dad’s a fucking prick and Susan’s no help. Max is just a little shit-“ “Billy.” “She gets on my nerves, okay? I’m pissed off. I’m pissed off that you don’t fucking understand what I go through every single fucking day while you just sit on your ass with your brothers and talk about what a great relationship you have.”

Water pooled at the corner of your eyes as you listened to his rant, “Billy-“ “no, listen to me. You don’t fucking get it, and here you are, talking to me every day. Cleaning me up after shit goes down that you don’t even get.” “I think I know more than you think.” “Really? Enlighten me Winchester, explain what shit happens in my life.” “I get that your mad Billy, I do. I know how angry you are because you think nobody loves you.” “This is bullshit.” He hissed, standing up from the bench and pacing the park. “Billy Hargrove; your mother dated an asshole. To escape her life, she sacrificed you and left you with him.”

Billy glared, “don’t you fucking dare Winchester.” “So now he takes his anger out on you, right? Just some extra blame to be added to your pile of shit.” “Really? I’m Y/n Winchester, my life is so fucking great. My two big brothers do everything for me and I’m a little princess, I get straight A’s and all the boys drool at my feet when I walk into a room, I practically get anything I want.” Your eyes widened, tears now running down your face as you stared at him.

“Is that what you think?” He stared back at you, clenched fists and a clenched jaw. You wiped your tears, laughing softly to yourself. “Wow, wow, that’s.. that’s impressive, Hargrove.” He continued staring at you, watching every movement you made as you stepped closer to him. “You got it spot on. Except, you left the part out where I lived with my bitch of a mother most of my life. My dad came by every third month and that was the only escape I had. When I was seven her boyfriend tried to put his hands down my pants, and when she caught him she threw a fit and kicked him out. Not because he tried to assault me, Billy. No, because he tried to cheat on her with her seven year old daughter. And she beat me, up for it.”

Billy stared at you, confusion and mixed emotions swimming across his face as he watched you step closer and closer towards him. “Or, that my father died when I was four and didn’t find out until I was eleven. Eleven.” You were crying. Struggling to find your words and piece them together as Billy continued to watch you, “all of her boyfriends were abusive assholes, and if I tried to stop it, or even help her, I got in trouble. If I did anything wrong, I got in trouble. God forbid I take a shower for longer than eight minutes.” “Y/n-“ “no, Billy. It’s my turn to speak. I met my brothers when I was eleven, they saved me from my home and showed me what a family was really about. Sometimes, I still call Sam or Dean ‘sir’ because I forget I’m not in that household anymore.”

Billy’s eyes were watering, gently reaching his hand out for yours, “Y/n,” “No.” You pulled your hand away, “you don’t just get to apologize Billy, you judged me long before I even got to tell you anything.” “I’m sorry, Y/n I fucked up, please, please, I’m sorry.” “That’s not how things work Billy..” you whispered, watching him as tears ran down your face. “I’m- I’m going home.” “It’s dark, at least let me drive-“ “I don’t care.” You shrugged, turning to walk away from him. “I don’t care anymore Billy Hargrove, and I certainly don’t care about you.” You walked away, leaving the broken boy stranded at the park, by himself.

“Ms. Parker, due to unfortunate circumstances we will have to be taking custody of Y/n Winchester.” Your mother glanced at you and then the two agents, your brothers. “I don’t understand, Y/n’s just fine where she is.” “Ma’am there seems to have been reports of physical and verbal abuse towards Y/n Winchester and we’re not allowed to have you hold custody of your daughter until everything is clear.” Dean spoke, as Sam placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. Your mother was awestruck, staring before glancing down at you, Daniel started to peer from behind her. “Are you saying things to these poor agents Y/n?” “Ma’am, that’s confidential between Ms. Winchester and ourselves.” “I’m allowed to talk to my daughter.” She hissed, “Y/n, did you lie?” “No.” “No? Yet, you told them we hurt you?” Your mother’s eyes watered, as she wiped them away your stomach dropped, you were making her cry, and that was nothing you ever wanted.

“I didn’t lie, I promise.” You whispered, watching as Daniel and your mother stared at you with mixed emotions. “Maybe it’s best we talk alone, yeah?” She said, reaching her hand out to you as Sam pushed you further behind him. “That won’t be nescessary ma’am, she’s fine right here.” And all at once, she lost it. “What? I can’t even talk to her in private?” “Not if you’ll beat the hell out of her, no.” “How dare you.” She sneered, pointing at you. “She’s my daughter, I’m a single mother and her only family, you can’t tear us apart!” “Well apparently you’re not her only family.” “Excuse me?” Dean and your mother stared at eachother, before her eyes softened and stared at the man in-front of her. “You.” She glanced at the both of them, “John’s boys.” Daniel stared down at your mother, “your ex?” She nodded, “he never shut up about you two, now, here you are.” She sneered, “where the hell has he been? He hasn’t payed child support in almost eight years!” “Yeah, well John’s been dead for almost eight years.” She stepped forward, glaring into Dean’s face just as he glared back. “Good riddance.” She grabbed you by the arm, pulling you from Sam’s grasp to drag you inside as you yelled and bit her.

“Shit!” She cried, clutching her hand and releasing her grip on you as Dean stepped in front of you and Daniel took off his belt, “c’mere you little bitch.” He hissed, raising it over his head just as Dean grabbed his wrist. Sam pulled you down the steps of the house, putting you in the back seat of the impala as you listening to the yelling and screaming of the four pair. As it faded into the distance, the only voice you could hear in your head was Dean’s. Claiming that your father had been dead, for nearly eight years.

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[shirtlesssammy]

10x02: Reichenbach

June 21st, 2003:

A boy wakes from sleep to hear a fight happening in his house. He finds his dad brutally murdered downstairs. As he cries over the body, we see a de-aged Dean Winchester walk in the room with a bloody knife. (Like, what a weird thing to spend money on, idk) 

Cut to (UGH) Cole (UGH) who was that boy. He’s telling his tale to a tied up Sam. He’s going to kill Dean. Sam tells him that “Dean isn’t Dean right now.” Cole is getting high off of thinking about his revenge so there’s no talking to him. Sam tells him that Dean had his reasons for killing his dad. There are monsters out there. 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) thinks he’s talking about human monsters (of which there are many) but Sam tells him REAL monsters. Cole keeps calling Sam the psycho but then puts on gloves and pulls out a hammer. UGH. 

Killdeer, North Dakota

Our Demon Dean Bean is enjoying the view (and touching without consent..smh). He throws money on the ground for the exotic dancer and she’s less than impressed and starts to walk away. He grabs her again and this time the bouncer stops him. Dean headbutts him and we’re suddenly watching (UGH) Cole (UGH) beat up Sam. I’m going to be honest, smart editing makes recapping hard. :D Cole continues to demand where Dean is. Dean continues to wale on the bouncer. Dudes at the bar are not stopping him --like, holy fuck, stop him, assholes! He stops himself, finishes his drink, and leaves. 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) continues to torture Sam, but he doesn’t realize that he’s dealing with Sam Fucking Winchester. That boy is a badass and he will NOT break. Cole’s just about to break Sam’s kneecap when his phone rings. It’s his wife so he answers and walks away, leaving his keys and a knife on the ground. 

Outside the strip club, Dean runs into Crowley. 

For Dear God Dunk Me Under That Running Water Science:

Cas is on the road with Hannah and his fake grace is failing him. She heals a wound of his and he thanks her but tells her she can go. She’s staying. She wants to help. That makes Cas laugh. It’s just so very human of her. (HANNAH) 

Cas gets a call from Sam. He has a lead on Dean and tells Cas to head to North Dakota. Sam then drops the bomb that Dean is a demon. 

Cas and Hannah head out to meet Sam. Hannah doesn’t see the point in helping the Winchesters. Cas sees otherwise. They’re his friends. (Blarf...this is season 10. One more season and he’ll be living in the bunker and he’ll be family and I just can’t take it.) Cas is not ok and starts to nod off while driving, and they crash. #RipPimpMobile

Dean and Crowley are at a bar. Crowley asks Dean how he’s doing, knowing full well that he’s not doing that great. He needs to kill. Crowley offers him a deal that he can’t refuse --kill for him.

Crowley has a list. First up: Mindy Morris. She cheated on her husband and then asked for a divorce. Lester, the husband, would rather sell his soul than give up his money. Mindy’s going to die. Dean agrees. 

Cas and Hannah have the car towed to a car repair shop. The extra nice mechanic invites them into her home. Hannah is not used to this human condition and it’s kinda cute. She also doesn’t get human humor. Also cute. Cas is so out of it, he doesn’t register the exchange. They head inside. Hannah heads to find food for Cas (wait, with his fading grace, does he need to eat?) and returns to the living room to find Cas zonked out on the couch. 

Dean stalks Mindy Morris’s house and just as he’s about to go in to do his job, he sees Lester pull up. He goes to have a chat with Lester. Pro tip: Not a great idea to be at the scene of the crime when the crime is happening. Dean tells Lester that he can’t really blame Mindy for stepping out. “She’s a North Dakota Eight. You’re a Four and a half max.” 

Wanna see a Hollywood Ten:

Also, Lester was already cheating on Mindy (UGH). Demon Dean maybe learned a thing between the no consent touching and this moment, because he ain’t buying the shit that Lester is selling. He punches him. Lester tells Dean that he works for him now and he needs to get in that house and do his job. Uh, demon or no, don’t tell Dean “Free Will” Winchester what to do; He’s going to do the opposite. Dean guts him with the First Blade. Oops. 

Sam’s at the Angelz Strip Club (LOLOLOLOLOLOL, Dean wishes it was one angel --I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. But also, wtf? Is it because he’s a demon, and irony?) He’s talking with the bouncer. They exchange war stories. Sam asks the bouncer to call him (or Lemmy Kilmister at least) if he sees Dean again. Meanwhile, (UGH) Cole (UGH) lurks and follows Sam as he drives away. 

The next morning, Cas wakes to Looney Tunes (god, I love this running theme through Andrew Dabb episodes) and a little girl who has the most fascinating dreams about snot and rockets. Epic. 

She offers Cas some of her cereal and he accepts. IT’S ADORABLE, PEOPLE. (A thousand Cas with small child fics were born, I’m sure.) The mechanic and Hannah watch and smile and all is right with the world. The mechanic tells Hannah their car is ready. And then she tells her that she’s got a great guy. (Lol, he’s already taken. Hannah learned that little factoid last season.) 

Meanwhile Crowley’s in hell (seewhatididthere) while a demon explains to him how to make Hell more efficient. Sam calls Crowley, but Interrupting!Dean (‘cause he’s a demon, I guess) strolls in very proud of himself for killing Lester. When Crowley chews him out for it, Dean shoves him to the ground with his little demon head-tilt. Crowley rather insightfully sums it up: Dean’s a li’l bit human and a li’l bit demon. 

Instead of cowering in fear, Dean’s supremely unimpressed by the King of Hell. He informs Crowley that they’re not “besties” and that he’ll come around when he needs someone new to kill. “It's over,” Crowley decrees. “What can I say? Crazy ones...well, they're good for a fling. But they're not relationship material.” It’s okay, Crowley. Breakups are hard!

In sunny angel-land, Hannah takes over driving for Cas who is looking awful. Listen, I don’t often fantasize about swaddling grown men and spoon feeding them soup but Cas! BBY! You look like hammered crap.

Crowley finds Moose and tells him where to find Squirrel. The Mark of Cain’s a PIA and he’d rather be shot of Dean altogether. 

Cas wakes up in the parked car to find Hannah gone. She went up to Heaven to speak to Metatron in jail. Careful! He’s a tricksy devil. She tries to interrogate Metatron for the whereabouts of the last remnants of Cas’s grace. Oh, sure! Coming right up.

Metatron says he’ll barter Cas’s grace for sweet freedom. Hannah’s about to bite when Cas arrives. 

Cas approaches angrily and tells Hannah not to do it. “I've made deals born of desperation, and they always end in blood and tears.”

Castiel doesn’t want to be saved like that. Hannah reluctantly agrees and walks off. Metatron leaves Cas with a parting shot: there’s just enough of his grace to save him. “Keep it,” Cas tells him. “I’ve made peace with my fate.” OKAY BUT we haven’t. Just so you know. 

Metatron decides to make a really compelling argument for freeing him. He’ll escape one day and then...kill everybody. How fun and well-adjusted. He taunts Castiel as he leaves: “Dead man walking!” 

On Earth, Dean pensively plays the piano?????????? Bored with piano practice, he pulls out the First Blade and slices his hand, then watches it heal up while Crowley’s advice to choose between the two natures echoes in his head. Sam approaches. (Aaaaand musical number time. Sing him a song, Dean!)

Dean picks up the blade and stalks over to the bar. Sam suggests a nice, civilized trip home to do the demon cure. For some reason, demon Dean isn’t into that plan. He confesses that he’d like to rip Sam’s throat out with his TEETH which is...certainly an image. 

Sam expresses his unending loyalty: it doesn’t matter what Dean might have done as a demon. He just wants him home. Dean laughs at him but his mirth gets interrupted by a smoke bomb going off. When Sam stumbles outside the bar, he’s met with (UGH) Cole (UGH). Cole knocks Sam “The Head Injury” Winchester out. 

Cole meets Dean at last, who roundly mocks him for not killing Sam already. Cole dramatically announces who he is to Dean. Dun dun DUN. He’s the son of a man you killed decades ago who has since grown into a completely different looking adult! I mean, come on, Dean. Work on your facial recognition here. Dean apologizes - all those dead people over the years have blurred together. 

Dean taunts Cole, telling him to shoot him already. (Side note: as much as I dislike demon Dean, he really plays up his eyes nicely in these scenes.) 

For Eye Crinkle Science:

They fight. Dean reminds me of a cat toying with a mouse. “What did you think was gonna happen, huh? You just stroll up here and say “my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,” And I'd just roll over? Well, that's just… It makes me sad.”

(UGH) Cole (UGH) cuts Dean, who heals before his eyes. He demon-flashes him.

Dean starts beating Cole within an inch of his life but hesitates… Sam takes that opportunity to toss holy water onto Dean and slap on those warded cuffs. You got ‘im, Sammy! Good work. 

Later, Sam hands the first blade over to Crowley for safe keeping (and WOW about that, really). 

(UGH) Cole (UGH) apparently headed straight to the public library after his little prize fight and, still bloodied and barely standing, asks the librarian for every book she has on demons. Please, Cole, demon and witchcraft books always get stolen within the first month on the shelf. 

Back at the bar, Crowley enjoys his froofy drink and fondles the First Blade while thinking of his ex. And then we get a close-up of his phone. It’s a photo of Dean and Crowley wearing cowboy hats and being dorks together. Over the scene, the song “Lonely girl” plays. I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS. 

Sam drives Dean home to the bunker. Dean refers to Baby as “just a car” and we all die a little inside. Sam has hope, though. He chose not to kill Cole. Dean just smiles. He didn’t give (UGH) Cole (UGH) mercy...he handed him his destroyed pride on a platter. “That ain’t mercy. That’s the worst thing I coulda done to ‘im.” He then promises to visit more of his anti-mercy on Sam.

______________________________

Quote it Again, Sam:

Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges but they’re the best men I’ve ever known. 

I understand the three beans, but what’s the surprise?

What is this, a lifetime movie?

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 2 September 2019

Quick Bits:

Agents of Atlas #2 again seems to focus more on Amadeus Cho and his perspective than the rest of the team, but it’s still very entertaining. Greg Pak, Nico Leon, Pop Mhan, Federico Blee, and Joe Sabino continue to weave together intrigue, superhero action, and romance with a very interesting mystery evolving. 

| Published by Marvel

Animosity #23 is part one of “Rites of Passage” from Marguerite Bennett, Elton Thomasi, Roberto De Latorre, Rob Schwager, and Taylor Esposito. While Jesse and her caravan continue to try to make it out west, her animal friends attempt to plan for her upcoming 13th birthday. Wonderful character moments here and further insight into the horrors that the animals have seen.

| Published by AfterShock

Battlepug #1 brings the web comic to regular monthly print comics from Mike Norton, Allen Passalaqua, and Crank! While it does help to have read the previous adventures, you can pick up and enjoy this humorous take on sword and sorcery fairly easily. Some very nice humour in the “Covfefe” puppet.

| Published by Image

Berserker Unbound #2 is another wonderful issue from Jeff Lemire, Mike Deodato Jr., Frank Martin, and Steve Wands. The art alone from Deodato and Martin is wonderful, deftly mixing the modern and the archaic. It’s also very interesting to see the barbarian trying to navigate our strange modern world and the fact that he can’t understand anything that anyone is saying.

| Published by Dark Horse

Birthright #39 gives us the confrontation with Mastema. Learning that she’s pretty much thoroughly insane and that the entire two worlds are screwed. At least, from her perspective. The colour work here from Adriano Lucas is positively brilliant.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Breaklands #1 is a Comixology digital original from Justin Jordan, Tyasseta, Sarah Stern, and Rachel Deering. It’s different, bloody, and intriguing as to what’s going on. The opening suggests a kind of weird cult, the past gives the impression of post-apocalyptic tribes or gangs. 

| Published by Justin Jordan

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #8 is a prelude to the “Hellmouth” crossover event with Angel, but I’ll say that it is essential to the overall storyline. This issue basically sets up the entire thing, even while still doing prologuey things. Great art from David López and Raúl Angulo. And, despite what Angel (at least that’s who I assume is in that devil mask) and Xander say, the “bat” costume is great, even if it doesn’t make sense.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Conan the Barbarian #9 takes us on a trip through Conan’s hallucinations of monsters he felled in battle as he tries to lead a group of people caught underground in the lair of the Undergod. Incredibly impressive artwork from Mahmud Asrar and Matthew Wilson. As we get a bit of reminiscence here, it feels as though we’re approaching the end of this arc.

| Published by Marvel

Crowded #9 is pretty intense as Vita and Charlie breach a hotel and try to get the information on who set up the Reapr campaign from one of Charlie’s old “friends”. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Christopher Sebela, Ro Stein, Ted Brandt, Tríona Farrell, and Cardinal Rae continue to keep this story on its toes, speeding along as fast as it can.

| Published by Image

Dark Red #6 begins the next arc from Tim Seeley, Corin Howell, Mark Englert, and Carlos Mangual. It tosses more complications into Chip’s life in the form of a “cleaner” enthralled to another vampire and a family of were-jaguars fleeing from an El Salvadoran gang.

| Published by AfterShock

DCeased: A Good Day to Die #1 expands the story a bit further with this one shot featuring a reunion of some of the Bwa-Ha-Ha era of the Justice League and a few other guests. Great art from Laura Braga, Darick Robertson, Richard Friend, Trevor Scott, and Rain Beredo.

| Published by DC Comics

Deathstroke #47 continues “Deathstroke RIP” and it’s going to do your head in a bit. A banged, bruised, beaten-up, and confused Slade shows up with a bad attitude and we’re unsure how he’s back from the dead and acting fairly un-Slade-like. Also, Jericho gets his Doctor Manhattan moment. Priest, Fernando Pasarin, Carlo Pagulayan, Jason Paz, Cam Smith, Wade von Grawbadger, Jeromy Cox, and Willie Schubert are definitely continuing to keep this interesting.

| Published by DC Comics

Die #7 catches up with the other half of the party in Isabelle and Chuck and, well, Chuck is an asshole. Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, and Clayton Cowles manage to out-bleak the previous issue, but in a way that doesn’t elicit sympathy this time. It’s interesting as to how they build up Chuck, elaborate on his backstory, and make him even more thoroughly unlikeable.

| Published by Image

Doom Patrol: Weight of the Worlds #3 is fairly impressive, with Gerard Way, Jeremy Lambert, Steve Orlando, Doc Shaner, Tamra Bonvillain, and Simon Bowland managing to become even more inventive with the narrative for an already incredibly inventive series. This one takes the convention of a flashforward and presents it as an issue of Doom Patrol in the future, weaving in some hard-boiled narration through a series of novels. Great work here all around.

| Published by DC Comics / Young Animal

Everything #1 is weird. Very weird. This first issue from Christopher Cantwell, INJ Culbard, and Steve Wands feels like it’s mostly about setting up the atmosphere and briefly introducing many of the characters as the new Everything Store opens up in Michigan. Love the art from Culbard.

| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books

Fallen World #5 concludes what has been an excellent series setting up the next stage of the 4002 AD time period of the Valiant universe from Dan Abnett, Adam Pollina, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell. The art from Pollina and Arreola is gorgeous, really leaning hard into the weird and wonderful of the future.

| Published by Valiant

Fantastic Four #14 kicks off “Point of Origin” celebrating the initial launch of the Fantastic Four’s expedition that turned them into the Fantastic Four. The shifting timeline makes this feel weird, but it’s still an interesting premise. Great art from Paco Medina and Jesus Aburtov.

| Published by Marvel

Future Foundation #2 is more fun from Jeremy Whitley, Will Robson, Paco Diaz, Daniele Orlandini, Greg Menzie, Chris O’Halloran, and Joe Caramagna. Why exactly the kids would mistake a younger looking Maker as their own Reed Richards is anyone’s guess, but this is still an entertaining prison break story building upon loose threads from Secret Wars.

| Published by Marvel

Ghost Spider Annual #1 continues the “Acts of Evil” theme running through this year’s annuals as Gwen takes on Arcade and a host of Spider-Man’s villains and allies. It’s a good story from Vita Ayala, Pere Pérez, Rachelle Rosenberg, and Clayton Cowles that helps Gwen get a sense of place when it comes to some of the differences between Earths-65 and -616/

| Published by Marvel

Giant Days #54 is the end to the series, but there’s one more issue in the story in the Giant Days: As Time Goes By special. Still, John Allison, Max Sarin, Whitney Cogar, and Jim Campbell gives us one last hurrah as Daisy, Esther, and Susan spend the summer together before graduation, tying up some loose ends, before saying goodbye to one another. It’s an emotional end, full of the eccentricities and humour that have been a hallmark of the series.

| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box

The Green Lantern #11 continues the multiversal adventure. This is really some of the fun, eccentric science fiction-y superheroics that Grant Morrison really excels at along with gorgeous artwork from Liam Sharp and Steve Oliff. I quite like Sharp’s Neal Adams-esque Batman GL and it’s neat to see the Green Lantern oath’s differences across multiple universes.

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn #65 kind of does an end run around the “Year of the Villain” content, incorporating it as a couple pages of the comic within the comic, while the rest of the issue is devoted to Harley dealing with the grief of the loss of her mother. By kind of ignoring it. Escaping to the Coney Island Volcano Island and getting a bit...rustic. Sam Humphries, Sami Basri, Hi-Fi, and Dave Sharpe also keep Harley’s trials going along nicely.

| Published by DC Comics

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #1 follows up on Poison Ivy’s new status after regrowing herself from the death sustained in Heroes in Crisis. Now, I can’t say I exactly liked that series or what happened, but I do think that Jody Houser, Adriano Melo, Mark Morales, Hi-Fi, and Gabriela Downie make the most of it and turn it around into an entertaining start to this new story. Also, a nice pick up on both the broader “Year of the Villain” event (even though there’s no event banner) and on the new developments in Justice League Dark about the Parliament of Flowers and the Floronic Man.

| Published by DC Comics

Immortal Hulk #23 brings the fight to Fortean. It’s absolutely brutal on both sides. Joe Bennett, Ruy José, Belardino Brabo, Paul Mounts, and Matt Milla really do an incredible job with the action here. And the end is stuff of nightmares.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League #31 continues the “Justice/Doom War”. It’s very, very nice to see the Justice Society back in the mainline DC universe. Combined with the Legion of Super-Heroes back, it’s a wonderful time to see these two teams back. Feels good. It also helps that Scott Snyder, James Tynion IV, Jorge Jimenez, Alejandro Sanchez, and Tom Napolitano have JSA nestled within a great story, flinging the Justice League through the past and future.

| Published by DC Comics

Lois Lane #3 is worth it for the art from Mike Perkins and Paul Mounts by itself. The fight between the two Questions is incredible, beautiful flow of action and energy all through the exchange. Also, we get some follow up on Superman protecting Lois adding complications. There could be an argument made that this story is unfolding at roughly a snail’s pace, but that would overlook the wonderful character moments occurring, the atmosphere, and epic action sequences. 

| Published by DC Comics

Midnight Vista #1 is a wonderful start to this story from Eliot Rahal, Clara Meath, Mark Englert, and Taylor Esposito. It’s an alien abduction story told pretty much straight and its intriguing as to how the disbelievers in this tale are going to deal with, even amid the very real kidnapping and lost time that occurs. I love Meath’s line art here.

| Published by AfterShock

No One Left to Fight #3 hits hard a couple times, first in Winda’s decidedly horrible way of handling rejection and jealousy and then in the Hierophant’s temptation of rebuilding Valé, fixing what ails him. More great work from Aubrey Sitterson, Fico Ossio, Raciel Avila, and Taylor Esposito. This book is a feast.

| Published by Dark Horse

Pretty Deadly: The Rat #1 is a very welcome return of this series, shifting time frame again to ‘30s Los Angeles and adopting a noir style. The artwork from Emma Rios and Jordie Bellaire is drop dead gorgeous, seemingly coming up with new styles and approaches to storytelling. The film stills in particular are very impressive.

| Published by Image

Savage Avengers #5 brings a bloody and brutal “end” to the first arc from Gerry Duggan, Mike Deodato Jr., Frank Martin, and Travis Lanham. It’s not so much a conclusion as a chapter break, ending the bit with the Marrow God, but transitioning into whatever will come next in the war against Kulan Gath.

| Published by Marvel

Sea of Stars #3 is another showcase for Stephen Green and Rico Renzi to just illustrate the hell out of some really cool stuff. This one shifts primary focus back to Kadyn and his interstellar entourage and it’s hilarious. The kid does kid things that drive his space monkey and space whale friends insane. Especially taunting a quarkshark.

| Published by Image

Something is Killing the Children #1 begins a rather disquieting horror series from James Tynion IV, Werther Dell’Edera, Miquel Muerto, and AndWorld Design. It’s brutal, bloody, and filled with all of the terror that you get from a frightened kid who just watched his friends get butchered. This is a visceral horror that punches you right in the gut. Very well done.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Spawn #300 is not a bad anniversary issue, a fairly hefty book featuring a lead “chapter” with gorgeous artwork from returning long term Spawn line artist Greg Capullo, kicking off with something disturbing, then leading into a combination of the story threads that Todd McFarlane has been weaving for some time now. While there is a foundation on the old, this one also sets up a fair amount of what’s coming. Great art throughout from Todd McFarlane, Greg Capullo, J. Scott Campbell, Jason Shawn Alexander, Jerome Opeña, Jonathan Glapion, FCO Plascencia, Brian Haberlin, Peter Steigerwald, and Matt Hollingsworth.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order - Dark Temple #1 is a tie in to the forthcoming video game from Electronic Arts by Matthew Rosenberg, Paolo Villanelli, Arif Prianto, and Joe Sabino. It centres around a padawan who somehow managed to escape Order 66 on a recently-joined Republic world of Ontotho and the mystery of a temple that she was sent to investigate.

| Published by Marvel

Supergirl #33 concludes Kara’s quest and “The House of El: United”, giving her perspective on the founding of the United Planets in Superman #14. It’s a decent end here, opening up new possibilities for what we’ll see next.

| Published by DC Comics

Triage #1 is a very impressive debut from Phillip Sevy and Frank Cvetkovic. Interesting set up of variations on the same woman, Evie, across multiple worlds, and a mystery as to what’s going on. Sevy’s art here is gorgeous.

| Published by Dark Horse

Usagi Yojimbo #4 begins a new two-part arc in “The Hero” as Usagi agrees to escort an author caught in a controlling, loveless marriage to her father. There’s a really nice opening sequence in this one with zombies.

| Published by IDW

Vampirella/Red Sonja #1 is a pretty good start to this series from Jordie Bellaire, Drew Moss, Rebecca Nalty, and Becca Carey. It’s set in 1969 and built around the Dyatlov Pass Incident, which sends Vampirella out there to investigate to potentially find a “friend”. Beautiful art from Moss and Nalty. 

| Published by Dynamite

Web of Black Widow #1 is wonderful. Stephen Mooney was born to draw espionage thrillers, having done so incredibly on his own Half Past Danger as well as The Dead Hand and James Bond 007. He has a style that reminds me of Dave Stevens and it just works perfectly for this kind of story. Add to that Jody Houser, Tríona Farrell, and Cory Petit, throw in a mystery born out of Natasha’s past and continued questioning her own status as her since she was brought back from death, and you’ve got a recipe for a near perfect storm of a debut.

| Published by Marvel

Wyrd #4 concludes what has been an intriguing series from Curt Pires, Antonio Fuso, Stefano Simeone, and Micah Myers.  This has been a rather interesting story of superpowers seemingly gone wrong and it ties up with a Superman analogue as a child going homicidal. It’s dark, but it feels real.

| Published by Dark Horse

Other Highlights: Absolute Carnage: Scream #2, Absolute Carnage: Symbiote Spider-Man #1, Alpha Flight: True North #1, Amazing Spider-Man: Going Big #1, Archie #707, Batman/TMNT III #5, Champions #9, Charlie’s Angels vs. Bionic Woman #3, Curse Words #24, The Death-Defying Devil #2, Descendent #5, The Dreaming #13, The Goon #6, House of X #4, Legion of Super-Heroes: Millennium #1, Marvel Action: Spider-Man #8, Nuclear Winter - Volume 3, Old Man Quill #9, The Punisher #15, Redneck #23, Rick and Morty Present Flesh Curtains #1, Section Zero #6, Space Bandits #3, Star Trek: Discovery - Aftermath #1, Star Wars #71, Superman: Up in the Sky #3, Transformers/Ghostbusters #4, Turok #5, The Wicked + The Divine #45

Recommended Collections: Age of X-Man: Prisoner X, Black Badge - Volume 2, Catwoman - Volume 2: Far From Gotham, Hellboy and the BPRD: 1956, Immortal Hulk - Volume 4: Abomination, Infinite Dark - Volume 2, Outcast - Volume 7, Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider - Volume 2: Impossible Year, Superb - Volume 4: The Kids aren’t Alright, War of the Realms: New Agents of Atlas, X-Force - Volume 2: Counterfeit King

d. emerson eddy is currently suffering the effects of a very gassy pug.

[mysamcedesmadness]

Steerio Hearts Stuff & Stuff

White Devils and the Demons They Serve (Chs 15-17)

I was gonna do two seperate posts, but you two are the ones who do most of the reading and y’all actually read EVERYTHING, so I figured, even if it’s as long as a chapter, y’all would’ve read it anyways.

@sweetiedee85

Stevie can’t even sniff his fingers with Bukowski breathing down his neck. What is Bukowski up to with Cheerio? 

I. Am. Still. Crine. Over this comment. That is all. (Because, you just found out in Ch 17 what Bukowski was up to.

But I guess it’s the devil you know versus the devil you don’t.

Even though this is regarding Tesla, this is actually a fantastic summary of most of the characters in this story, hell - in the series. People often accept what their life seems to be instead of fighting for what it can be. That DEFINITELY happens in the context of having a mental illness, because everyday life can be overwhelming enough, so taking extra risks and chances are sometimes astronomical.

What’s sad is they would rather do that than come see their child. Time is more value, and we see they don’t care enough to spend any with her.

The Robinsons are the worst. I just have no other feedback of them for right now. Radja more than Champ - but they are a team and that team should’ve included their daughter and never does. In fact, I have a little arc that involves Radja coming up shortly and yes, she’s just the worst in it. 

But then those dang nightmares and training haunting the poor guy. I know it’s something he struggles with even after their married. He has triggers, and they usually lead to him growing and learning something different about himself and the way he views things. It seems that this is only the beginning of that journey.

Stevie sometimes suffers from psychosis, so he’s forgotten a lot of things that he’s been exposed to, because his brain was just unable or unwilling to process the trauma - much like his breakdown after Mary died. This is why later he still has repressed memories punching him in the gut and why it’s important to him to be a realist. He seems like an asshole a lot, for “Just being realistic,” but he knows himself (particularly after he’s out) and he just wants to make sure he’s trying to assess things normally and naturally, so that he doesn’t unintentionally wind up in a state of psychosis... Now, WE know that sometimes, it’s going to happen, anyway. But, these glimpses into his episodes are here for me to try to explain why Stevie is such an “asshole,” OUTSIDE of his racism. That’s a completely different issue which I’d never justify. Lol.

I do wonder if Tesla wants this footage. I doubt Bukowski has any good in him so is it his self need to have every part of Tesla in his grasp, under his control? Will she be somehow grateful he’s gotten this back? Idk but just the thought makes me sicker.

Tesla does NOT want this footage, wants no part of this footage, was alarmed by Bukowski and Stevie even MENTIONING this footage, and has absolutely no need for this footage. This is primarily about Bukowski’s control, and also his fetish. He enjoys watching. He enjoys knowing things. It makes him feel powerful to know things and to be able to see things. She MAY be grateful that he’s gotten it, but honestly, she’s still suffering from the damage of the event. She knows that it has already been done, and whether or not there is footage, she’s already suffered and has to live with it. Be sick, be very sick. It’s meant to be deeply sickening.

Anyway, Stevie is out of control lol threatening Derek was un called for. We know at this point she’s the one exception to that word, and that’s recent so I wasn’t surprised when he said it. I thought Cheerio would at least consider turning down Stevie’s offer but nope lol She just as toxic in love as him, and she sees beyond his training. I doubt I could have it in me.

Stevie is often impulsive in his decisions, but sometimes, they’re premeditated. Sometimes, he thinks things out, knows that his decision isn’t great and does it anyway. He gets so much better about this as he ages, but Teenage Stevie is deeply territorial and no matter what he says, he feels like he owns Cheerio.

And, no ma’am. I can’t relate to her, in that regard. A chick called me “Kunta Kinte” in 2007. I tried to beat her with a beer bottle in her own trailer, had to get dragged out of there and brought home and I still will call her a bitch, if I see her today.

  Angelwings

Ok... Who is Bukowski even using to make Tesla (Ally) jealous? I mean agh.

This had me cracking up SO HARD. You would be surprised the kinda pink dick pandering out there on the innanets. Whenever I had a successful porn blog, right here on Tumblr, I seen some shit. And there are folk less attractive and less charming that can somehow manage to get little sex games going with people, especially if they’re in a fetish niche (which gingers are).

ok so Tesla told her to have sex in the shower? If she's in the bathroom they accept verbal... side eyeing and looking all squinted eyed trying to imagine how they WON'T get caught.

This is because the orderlies won’t generally just burst into the bathroom while a resident is in the shower if the resident seems fine and is willing to peek out and show their face. They’ll only barge in if the resident seems off (trying to pretend that they’re fine) or is not responsive. They want to value their privacy to a certain extent, but not to leave them vulnerable, if they somehow got hold of a weapon or something.

It just goes back to what Stevie says to Sam. He has to constantly battle with his thoughts. At least he does that.

I touched on this a little bit with Dee. Stevie HAS to do this, to make sure that he keeps himself grounded. His triggers are so dynamic that they literally take control of his mind, for a time. He wants to not have to experience that, and he never wants to hurt the people he loves because of some type of break.

Hmm so Dani is trying to work at a library. That's kind of perfect. Hope she gets it and keeps up her therapy and stuff. It always makes me upset to see any hospital release patients before they are ready. I really hope Dani can transition back into society.

Oh, no - she’s not trying to work at the library. The library is one of the few places that poor people can have access to the Internet and by this time, even though the story is set for several years ago - a lot of the jobs and such are available to apply online. Dani would most likely apply online, because she knows that she might appear to not be normal when going in to get applications and people might “fire before you hire” her upon seeing that she’s not very normal. Sorry, I didn’t explain that. I know that the Texas Workforce Commission has access, but I didn’t feel like researching how unemployment works in Ohio, so I just went the library application route. Dani’s story isn’t over yet, so you’ll definitely find out how life went for her.

They function as a community, one for all and all for their cause. People can do anything when they work together even create monsters and killers.

People who lead abusive lifestyles often see their behavior as normal. Hence arguments TO THIS DAY of “My mom beat me and I turned out fine” or “People are this way because they don’t get beat enough.” Contrary to the cases upon cases of research and information that hitting children only causes trauma. Now, generally - children of abuse do NOT turn out to be killers and horrible criminals. Some go on to be kind humans and productive members of society... But even those generally have to address the trauma that was caused by their toxic environments.

Inevitably we know the fate of the hospital but in the other stories we never hear of the other characters. I hope they get the help they need wherever they go.

I have stories plotted out for most of the ones that we know. It’s gonna be a moment to get to some of them, but I’ll try not to drop the ball, completely.

Stevie was angry with Bukowski for hurting his Bust it Baby- learning so much. I had to look that up. That is Cheri by every definition if not now then later. She is well on her way. That exchange was cute the way Cheri acted. 

Bust It Baby Pt 2 was ONE OF MY FAVES in the club. (Telling my age, now. LOL) But, THEY would have been teens/kids around that time, so I didn’t feel bad referencing that mug. Bwahahaha. Cheri DEFINITELY becomes all of that for Stevie. But, yeah - she was a little bashful about it being said in a group setting.

Even Tanisha had to tell him about himself with Stevie. It's like Stevie was punished for all the children, well Mary got to Stacey but Sam was golden. Some couples should not procreate. 

I think it took a while for Dwight to comprehend that just because Stacie and Sam ‘turned out okay,’ that didn’t MEAN that he had been blameless in helping to shape Stevie the way that he did. He never saw himself as having anything against Stevie, because he loved him as much as he did the others (or so he thought - he just wasn’t CLOSE to him). And Mama T was able to see that Dwight’s not being close to Stevie affected how he handled him, whether or not he did love him - which she believed and trusted that he did, but she needed him to get that STEVIE needed to believe and trust it.

This Entire Review: I Have a Lot of Responses, Love

Bukowski is blinded by crazy. Any half decent individual would see red flags. DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! What an idiot. Poetic justice would be if Tesla killed his awhen he drugged and kidnapped her or whatever his chosen crazy decides to do. I just don't see him living after he knocked on that door.

Unfortunately, Bukowski’s time is not yet up. But, he has definitely poked a bear by reaching out to Max. Stevie making deals in an institution with a demon eww. Stevie has his number already, is he blinded by the vajayjay?

Stevie is blinded by both the caviar and his inability to access, the way that he would like to. He’s a teenage boy trying to squeeze quickies in all day in between heavily monitored times. That argument between Stevie and Cheri was like imagining popcorn pop. You know the explosion is coming. When it does your like damned that's some Good popcorn! I kept saying Oh, and scrunching up my face like Stevie's next words are gonna get him smacked and then he did it. He said the ultimate, ONE word that is complete Taboo in anger no less. *SMACK* ! Round two lol!

Stevie often feels attacked when nobody is attacking him. I blame Dwight for this, because Stevie spent most of his life feeling like he had to explain and defend himself, to the point where his mentality is paranoid and he thinks that he has to fight whenever a conflict or challenge arises. Cheri is not a violent person, but whenever she gets angry (Teenage Cheerio) will lash out, because she’s in a position where she can’t just go to the spa or have a smoothie. She’s relaxed more later because she has the freedom to simply escape for a moment. Here, she’s a caged bird. Cheri is hella patient with him and I get it. I have had to explain blackness to other races, as if EVERY race and EVERY culture and EVERY class does not have their own innuendoes and humor. Even his Arian idiot family. Like the lady at work told my coworker with at straight face 'Don't all y'all like fried chicken? I said what did you do? My coworker said I took a deep breath and saidNo! And what you just said is considered racist. Of course she asked how? My coworker said she just walked away. I probably would have a. been patient and broke it down, or b. said ungh hungh just like all y'all like caviar and filet minion. Just would depend on my mood but Cheri is time enough for Stevie. Most of how she handles Stevie I agree with.

I don’t. It’s not my job to bear the burden of educating people who (if they gave a fuck) could access resources to educate themselves. I made those mistakes when I was younger, and that shit was nothing but additional emotional labor added to the constant processes I had to go through, throughout the day in my black ass skin. I watch racists getting beat up for being trash on YouTube all the time. That’s handling that I agree with.Lol. Now there is no way in hell any man would not take Derek's behavior as a challenge or threat. I felt like he was trying to purposely show Stevie he could reach Cheri in a way Stevie could not and do things with Cheri that Stevie could not just to put it in Stevie's face then try and hide behind a smile and laughter like he didn't have an agenda. Even if he doesn't like her like that he KNEW Cheri was with Stevie. He should have acted accordingly. I think Derek was trying to be sneaky. Yes Stevie is a jelly monster and he is territorial and possessive but that is Stevie. Like Mason calling Cheri Ri Ri then correcting himself in front of Stevie. Mason is not deliberately trying to poke the bear. He calms all that down in front of Stevie and Stevie eventually learns that Cheri has to have other friends. I don't think that was Derek's mind set, befriend Cheri and Stevie. He just liked having the attention sounds like from everyone, in a mental hospital. Stevie is not stupid. Cheri is a little Naïve I think, especially when she meets Max. To me she made a couple mistakes with that. Trust no one. Describe new people in addition to looking up tags. 

This is highly problematic, in my opinion, for many reasons, all of which - I’ll respectfully address. Firstly, any man or person in general that takes the friendship of someone else with their partner as a threat is toxic, and possibly abusive. Control and possessiveness are not key points of love. They are key points of obsession and obsession is almost always dangerous when it involves people as the object.

I don’t think that I wrote anything to indicate that Derek was in any way trying to challenge or compete with Stevie, so that feeling seems to be some internalized antiblackness or at the very least, sympathy for the devil - in this case, that’d be Stevie. Because HE was wrong and he reacted. There is nothing wrong with a black kid getting attention from people or trying to impress or please people, so I’m not sure why that would be considered poking the bear or purposefully trying to upset Stevie. 

They are ALL in the mental hospital, and while Stevie definitely isn’t STUPID, he certainly is psychotic. He’s not always right. Even his instincts are frequently off, at this juncture of his life and it isn’t the responsibility of a black boy, who is here for his own mental health to coddle Stevie and think about all the ways that he may or may not be offending him by being generally friendly to everyone around him, which is literally all Derek does in this chapter. I only wrote him making jokes and being jovial, up until the point that Stevie threatened him, out of paranoia, after being told multiple times that he shouldn’t bother with it.

And Cheerio is definitely naive, but that also doesn’t mean that she should have had all the answers as to why not to suspect everybody that she met. She did her part to try to keep herself safe, and of course, Max would have had avenues set up as to not tip her off. He’s been trained to deceive. Saying that she made some mistakes sounds a little bit victim blaming to me, especially considering that she followed the rules that were given to her, and whenever she was abducted, she was run off of the road and taken. She hadn’t met up with him in the woods, or something. 

She was extremely paranoid (affecting her mental state and her peace of mind), because of everything that they had told her and she had no way of knowing that someone who’s information came back clean was someone else. I feel like this must be stated - Max doesn’t just LOOK like Max Giardi when he greets her. He’s not going up to her looking like somebody that she could Google and she’s just put her thumb in her butt and calls it a coincidence. He’s tactical. He purposefully entered her world. He wouldn’t do it in a way that any normal person would notice that anything off, much less someone that he would presume has been told to look out for him.

Bonus Face Claim:

Ashlee Brian as Derek (Originally a dance crew member in “The End of Twerking” episode.

[qscvgyum]

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[orionsangel86]

12x19 - Episode Review - Intimacy, Love, Faith and mixtapes

What can I even say about this episode? Since my first watch I have been going around with a goofy grin on my face while thinking of nothing but mixtapes and intimate touches between two people who love each other so dearly that even the most stringent heteronormative people must be side eyeing the show thinking “that’s kinda gay”. When I try to think about the actual plot of the episode though and what will come of this in the finale? Well, I am a bit lost… though I do have some ideas. I can’t say I am entirely thrilled by the plot structure this season. Hence my long tumblr absences as well as limited thoughts and meta since 12x12. There is too much going on, too many stories which don’t seem to have any real connection. Also Lucifer really pisses me off as a character now and every time he is on screen I roll my eyes.

This episode wasn’t up there with the likes of 12x10 and 12x12 for quality. Then again as soon as the story turns back to Kelly and her unborn Satan spawn I do find it hard to stay switched on, but the destiel this episode was glorious and gave me a lot of hope for where Dabb intends to take this. Am I still annoyed that we are lacking Cas so much this half season? Yes. Very. The fact that he doesn’t return until the finale pisses me off to no end, I will most likely disappear again after writing this review and not comment on the episodes leading up to the finale unless Dean suddenly decides to jump out of the closet and hit on handsome bisexual Max next week as a rebound for all the rejection he suffered in 12x19. (honestly I am praying to the TV Gods that Max takes a liking to Dean and we get a good helping of Gay to get us through our Cas withdrawal symptoms).

Without any further rambling however here is my review of 12x19.

It gets long down there under the cut…

Take this mixtape for my heart… complete with kisses and songs about you

The best part about this episode? Destiel. Oh boy the destiel. It was so gloriously gay. I can’t even imagine how the antis and non-shippers are feeling about this! I am so very full of joy and glee about this!

We know from the opening sequence that Dean has been pining for Cas and worrying about Cas for a while now, but the glorious moment when Cas walks into the Bunker and Dean looks up at him is just…

Oh how very dramatic. The might as well have put him in soft focus and had a swell of romantic music as his lover returned home from war… seriously. But then all the DeanCas shots in this episode are framed so romantically/intimately. Kudos to Amanda Tapping for just getting it. (then again she was present during the most heartbreaking DeanCas scene of all time the crypt scene and therefore I have no doubt that she is very much aware of Destiel and its importance.

Once again this shot escalates into an argument between Dean and Cas that Sam is stuck in the middle of. I seriously love how this has continued throughout season 12. Sam is the poor third wheel stuck in the middle whilst his brother and brother in law have a lovers tiff.  

We get another classic confused kinda bitch face from Sam when Dean snaps at him because he dares to be nice to Cas…

Seriously we have now built up a nice collection of Sam bitchfaces and knowing looks when he is stuck having to deal with these two once again. Poor Sam. Let him save the day and get a dog and marry Eileen so he can finally get some PEACE! :P

“Not only were you ditching us you were ignoring us”.

“What the hells wrong with you man?”

We have a LOT of call backs to previous seasons in this episode. I mean A LOT of call backs. This one particularly was quite interesting as it threw us right back into Purgatory:

“I prayed to you Cas, every night”

“I know.”

“You know and you didn’t… What the hell’s wrong with you?”

So what does this mean? Already we have a call back to the start of season 8, which then lead to a whole story arc where Cas was brainwashed by the angels and ended with Dean managed to break through that brainwashing with the power of… platonic friendship pfft.

Doesn’t bode well for the end of this episode though does it?

Now we need to talk about the mixtape. Yes I know this has probably already been meta’d to death on tumblr. Yes I am sure some of you are sick of it (though be honest.. you aren’t really sick of it now are you? I know how long the “I love you” conversations lasted for after 12x12 aired so shut it and enjoy my meta thoughts too. :P )

Cas follows Dean back to his room (for the privacy of course – also note that he doesn’t feel he needs to explain himself to SAM) under the pretense of returning a mixtape that Dean gave him. My first though before we even GET to the subject of Dean giving Cas a mixtape in the first place, is why Cas is using the return of this very romantic gesture at all. Even with his knowledge of pop culture, I don’t think Cas realises the importance of giving someone a mixtape, hence him thinking he needed to return it in the first place. It was in no way a rejection from Cas (like he could reject Dean pfft). But Dean clarified that it was a gift anyway. Oh but can we just pause again and store this to fandom memory forever and ever?

DEAN WINCHESTER GAVE CASTIEL A MIXTAPE

And isn’t that the most beautiful, innocent, loving gesture that for these two macho manly gruff heros its almost too much to bare! Dean Winchester is such a fucking teddybear deep down I can’t quite stand it. Argh I love him so much for this moment!

So lets talk about this mixtape some more because I can’t get enough:

“Dean’s top 13 Zepp Traxx”

Except that’s not exactly what it says. Why two Xs rather than the correct spelling? Why the slight spacing between the “TRA” and the “XX”? Why, if you are spelling “Tracks” the ‘cool’ way would you not shorten it to “Trax” why two Xs unless those Xs also had a separate meaning loosly hidden in the spelling?

Basically those Xs are also ‘kisses’ and no one can tell me otherwise.

Isn’t that just a perfect mini metaphor for destiel itself though? The main text reading is that Dean has spelt the word the slang way, using the Xs as a fun way to spell the word only. Nothing suspicious here, totally platonic.

And yet everyone knows that Xs also mean kisses. Everyone.

The romantic message is hidden in the label. It isn’t totally obvious at first, but it is once you put it together with the general meaning of a mixtape.

Speaking of, for all you kiddies out there who haven’t lived in the age before CDs, ipods and MP3s, giving someone a mixtape has a HUGE meaning to it. It is also, without a doubt, always romantic.

I am sure that by the time I post this, the mixtape will have been meta’d to death on tumblr and you will all be flailing about it anyway… I know I was as soon as I first watched the episode. This is a big moment. No. Seriously. Friends don’t give friends mixtapes. People who love people and people who have major crushes on people give people mixed tapes. It is always always romantic in its meaning.

If we try to look for a platonic reading to this, perhaps Dean didn’t make this tape for Cas, perhaps its one he had lying around already (though the Xs kinda throw that reading out). Even so, it is still a mixtape that Dean made at some point and then gave to Cas. This is the canon. I just wish we could have seen the moment Dean gave it to him (probably shoved it at him with a gruff “here, you need to listen to some real music” whilst desperately trying and failing to stop himself blushing. I LOVE this and I wanna read that fanfiction.

To make this whole thing even more romantic. Dean confirms it himself. There is no denying it. “It’s a gift. You keep those” this wasn’t just something that Dean had lying around that Cas picked up and asked to borrow, it wasn’t something Dean just shoved at him and said “You need to listen to some decent music, take this” and didn’t think about it any more. Dean put thought into it because it was a gift specifically for Cas.

If only Cas had actually realised that fact. Though I will talk more about Cas’s continued unknowing rejection of Dean this episode a bit later… first this shot:

Its beautiful, and you all know me and my hand obsession in SPN. Hands have meaning. They are important. They leave a print. There is always intimacy in moments like this. The way Dean and Cas exchange touches throughout this season always brings me joy. This moment is no different.

I have decided to make a separate post about hands in this episode because I am a nerd who got super excited about all these beautiful close up hand shots that have such a massive significance. Anyway, back to the mixtape…

Ultimately, there was no plot related reason for the mixtape scene. Other than to give Cas an excuse to come find Dean… which he had anyway? To apologise and try to clear the air (and also to find the Colt) so… why the mixtape? Why even bring it into the show if not to emphasise Dean and Cas’s relationship and the romantic nature of it that is now more than heavily implied. After a previous one sided love confession how is ANYONE supposed to read their relationship as anything other than inherintly romantic?

Cas’s quiet “Oh” just infuriates me because REALLY CAS? You didn’t KNOW what that meant? Urgh. I mean, yeah okay so he never has been very good with the whole social conventions and stuff like that but still. Then Dean just goes and does something which makes me love him even more. He starts a conversation. Oh boy how he has grown. Communication is key and Dean FINALLY seems to be understanding this.

“Cas, you can’t… with everything that’s going on you can’t just go dark like that”

Interesting. Dark like Superman going darkside yeah? We are back to 6x20. We are seriously getting flashbacks to Destiel’s greatest hits in the space of a few minutes here. Also, this whole conversation is just so freaking intimate in the way it is shot, the dark moody lighting, the way both actors are speaking relatively softly compared to their usual gruff tones and just the sheer weight of emotion in Dean’s face.

Its forcing the viewer to get up close and personal with Dean’s feelings here. Forcing them to really consider how much he is hurting and therefore forcing them to ask the question WHY. Why does this make me, as a viewer, feel like I am intruding? Is this a common shot composition for friendly conversations between platonic friends?!? Um. Nope. Hence this ENTIRE SCENE SCREAMS ROMANCE. And also, sadly, betrayal.

At least we get an explanation from Cas. The thing is, we see Dean’s POV most of the time, therefore we don’t really get to understand Cas’s reasons for doing things, but this episode he does get a chance to justify his actions, and as expected, it all comes back to Dean…

“I needed to come back here with a win for you… for myself”

Because Cas has failed so much, is still suffering from depression (though it hasn’t been brought back into maintext for a while now) and is so conflicted on where he is supposed to be going nowadays. He has lost his mission, he has no riteous path, and no faith… and this episode is all about faith when you get down to it… faith and fate, destiny and hope for the future… though not from the right place (and we are now back even further – in season 5.) and Dean is desperate to get him back on track but still doesn’t really say the right things.

“We will find a better way”

“You mean we?” *gestures to the both of them

“Yes, dumbass, we.”

Dean is still having to clarify for Cas that he is part of their family and that they want him around. Cas still doesn’t get it, because even if Dean thinks he is being clear, he really isn’t. Not to someone who has struggled with their self worth, struggled with depression and feelings of total worthlessness. It will take far more than some words about the three of them to get Cas to realise just how much Dean cares. Remember folks, from Cas’s perspective, he has confessed his love and hasn’t heard it back. He didn’t a get a “I love you too” or even a “we love you too”. Just a “we ain’t leaving you behind”. Which is easy to explain away as the Winchesters not wanting people to die on their watch. The Winchesters always try to save people, meaning Cas isn’t any more special than any other random civilian who the Winchesters wouldn’t leave to die… when you think about it from Cas’s perspective, its still a bit of a kick in the teeth.  

“You, me… and Sam. We’re just better together” Again, Dean isn’t quite giving Cas what he needs? The pause, then the added “and Sam” just takes us right back to the beer run in 11x23 and Cas’s dissapointment, It becomes easy to understand Cas’s motivations when you look at it from a destiel perspective and consider that he has been rejected and continuously referred to as a third wheel to the brother dynamic. In Cas’s mind, Dean doesn’t return his feelings, and by not understanding the implications of a mixtape as a gift, nor the extent to which Dean would go to forgive him, Cas continues down his path of destruction and takes the Colt. They may be communication, but they aren’t really communicating. Its such a classic romance trope and I’m pulling my hair out STILL over these two.

“Lets go Team Free Will”. Could the callbacks to previous seasons be any more obvious? Now we really are in season 5 and in the past 5 minutes have travelled back through the greatest hits of destiel. From Purgatory guilt, Season 6 betrayal and now season 5 loss of faith. These are the major themes of 12x19. Cas is stuck in a cycle of self destruction. Where will this end for him?  

The next scene with Dean and Sam discussing Sam’s theories and the grace extraction as a potential solution just proves how far they have come. Its no longer “how do we kill the thing” but “how do we stop the thing from being evil without resorting to violence?” I call this the “Amara Effect” and I am very happy about this. Anyway, what I really wanna talk about here is just how happy Dean was to finally have a solution and how his FIRST THOUGHT was “I’ll get Cas”. Like he just wanted Cas to be there to work with them on this together. He really did mean what he said to Cas in his room. My heart breaks for him when he realises Cas is gone.

However can we please just take a moment to be so fucking thankful that FINALLY IT IS CANON THAT CAS HAS A ROOM IN THE BUNKER!!

This is CAS’s ROOM! CASTIEL HAS A ROOM AT THE BUNKER. Number 15 to be exact. 3 doors down from Dean. (yes I know this was also the number of the room used by Mary apparantly earlier on in this season but clearly Cas stays there because why else would Dean have gone to this random room to look for him and not the kitchen or the archives hmm?)

LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE REALISES CAS IS GONE AGAIN

Oh Dean. It is such a common trope though. Just when he thinks he has the person he loves back by his side again, they are gone. We really are back to season 8 here with Cas being the one rejecting Dean. (please lets not forget that the extent of the rejection for the past three seasons has been on Dean with Cas holding the torch for destiel and it is only now that we are finally experiencing the brunt of the shift back to Dean.) This episode is by FAR the most romantic we have had so far in terms of destiel in the past FOUR seasons. The only episodes that really surpass it are 6x20 and 8x17 (though 12x10 is a close contender). This is being written, and shot as a romance and my gosh I love it. Poor Dean.

THEN we get further justification for Cas’s actions. I know that this episode hasn’t really done him any favours for painting him as a bit of a villain and I know that the Cas haters will have a field day with his treatment of the Winchesters, but we are getting solid explanations for his actions here, and they all point back to Cas’s love for the Winchesters, his love for Dean…

“I am doing this for the Winchesters. I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission”

“I will kill this girl, so that Sam and Dean won’t have to.”

Because that really is love, Cas would do the dirty work to spare Sam and Dean the pain of having to do something that could traumatise them further. Cas is doing this so that they won’t have to suffer that. He is doing it to protect them, because he loves them. I swear to god if I see a single post from a cas hater trying to paint him as a villain who doesn’t care I will be all over it. They have NOTHING to back up their arguments.

It is of course, the same tune that Cas is singing again and again. This is the reason behind ALL of his motivations. Its always about the Winchesters. Its not about his reputation, glory, praise, its not even about saving the world. Its about sparing Sam and Dean from doing something horrible. He just wants them to have the peace and freedom they taught him was so important back in freaking season FOUR. I won’t be holding his decisions in this episode against him, because I think Dabb has a very clear idea of where Cas is going with his story arc, and its all about emphasising what is truly important to him, what Cas basically lives for now. Yeah, he needed the win. He needs to put a stop to something that could potentially destroy the world, but his true reasons for doing it are spelt out in this episode.

Coming back to Sam and Dean, the conversation about the Colt:

“How did Cas even get the Colt out of the safe in the first place?”

“…”

“Dean, you put the colt back in the safe right? Dean?”

“… it was under my pillow… I like to keep it close.”

“He came into my room and he played me.”

“He played us both.”

What I love about this exchange, is that until this moment we don’t know where Cas got the Colt from. He could have just broken into the safe, or he could have got it from where Dean previously kept it under the table in the library. But they chose to have him steal it from under Dean’s pillow. Once again there is added intimacy to a scene where really, the intimacy is unecessary for the plot. When you start to put together all the choices that the writer and director made for this episode, it becomes really difficult to see it from a persective that doesn’t involve Destiel.

Yes, we know in the previous scene that Dean left Cas alone in his room, but the way Dean acts when he owns up to Sam that it was stolen from under his pillow makes it sound like it WASN’T innocent. “Cas came into my room and distracted me and manipulated me enough to find and steal the colt from under my pillow.” It just stinks of sexual subtext and it makes the betrayal that much worse. As I said before, this is 6x20 all over again. But this time its even MORE personal BECAUSE of everything they have been through since then and just how much they have admitted to each other including a bloody love confession and a mixtape. The theft from under the pillow of all places only adds a sexual layer to that heap of intimate subtext. Am I saying they had sex? No. I am not saying this. What I am saying is that having Cas steal the Colt from under Dean’s pillow rather than from a safe or from another safe place adds a layer of intimacy that was not previously necessary. It makes the theft a bigger violation of Dean’s trust than stealing it from the safe, it makes the betrayal a lovers betrayal rather than the betrayal of a friend in the subtext. (I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well, but hopefully you all get the general idea).

Basically, it is another point to add to the list of things in this episode that show that Dean and Cas’s relationship is romantic rather than platonic at this stage (even if textually it isn’t… its how they both act and feel around each other and emphasises how their feelings for each other are NOT PLATONIC.)

As always, at this stage, if you are still struggling to see a destiel reading, consider the same scene but with Sam rather than Dean. Would it work the same way? Have the same impact? How about instead, just considering WHY this never happens to Sam? Why Dean gets the emotional close up with the sweeping string music whilst staring longlingly into Castiel’s empty bedroom and not Sam. Why its Dean that runs off to get Cas, why its Dean’s pillow that Cas stole the Colt from under, why its Dean that gave him the mixtape, and not Sam.

Then we get shots like THIS:

Which lets be honest, are oozing with sexual tension. I was discussing with @godshipsit about how when I first watched this scene, my heart kinda skipped a beat and I was stunned for a second into thinking “this is how they will go canon” (not in this exact scene in this episode of course, but it will be like this when it finally happens. Because I can picture this shot, I can picture the frustration between them and Dean just deciding enough is enough and taking that final step forward and just kissing his dumbass angel so that he finally gets it) The framing of the shot again is beautifully done, the circle around them, framing them and also making the viewer feel like once again they are spying on them. Yes Dean is angry, but Cas is letting him manhandle him up against a wall. Remember he is an angel, he could easily stand his ground, but he doesn’t. He lets Dean get out his frustration here. Lets Dean be threatening. Notice how Sam doesn’t ever react in such a way. Because its not really how friends react is it?

Okay so Dean and Cas have a volatile relationship, that sometimes leads to moments like this which could be viewed as violent or even dare I say ‘abusive’ and gosh wouldn’t the anti’s have a field day with that. But think about romantic tropes for a second, the old hollywood types. Its never friends that get angry and have moments like this that are shot in such a way, but lovers? Having lovers tiffs? Yeah, this is common. The fighting, the pinning against a wall, the staring into each others eyes trying to stand their ground? Its classic sexual tension. Dean doesn’t hurt Cas in this scene remember. Cas doesn’t hurt Dean either. Not physically. The only reason that Cas hurts Dean emotionally is because he doesn’t realise how much Dean cares about him. He knows he is betraying his friends, he knows he is doing wrong in terms of a friendship but views his actions as justified to keep them safe. From a romantic perspective Cas has not yet grasped just how much he is emotionally hurting Dean at this point – because Dean hasn’t yet given him reason to believe he is hurting him this much – though he makes it pretty obvious from the audiences perspective.

Then if we hadn’t already had it spelled out to us again Cas once again gives us his reasons:

“I wanted to keep you out of this, I was trying to keep you safe”

“this is my responsibility”

The writers are constantly trying to remind the audience that Cas’s reasons are always about the Winchesters. There isn’t a selfish bone in his body. He may be jepardising his relationship with them, but to him the end justifies the means. Cas wants the Winchesters kept safe, so his betrayal makes sense to him. Like I have said before. It is season 6 all over again. I just hope it ends differently.

I have to give Dean major kudos here though for being the most understanding boyfriend on the planet, because even after Kelly and Cas steal his beloved Impala he STILL is able to stick up for Cas

“He’s so desperate for a win now he can’t even see straight”

In case the viewers weren’t aware already that Cas is SO NOT THE BAD GUY HERE, Dean spells it out for us in his own words. Yeah, he’s pissed, but he is still able to see Cas’s POV, he gets it, he still cares, still wants to be there for him. I am sure there is some awesome symbolic meaning behind him fixing Cas’s truck up for him as well. If the way Dean fixing up the Impala is supposed to symbolise him healing his own soul, fixing up Cas’s truck has got to also symbolise him fixing Cas. Dean will be there for Cas when he comes back, like he always does.

Dean has come so far this season. His development, his ability to see other peoples POV, his distaste for lies and his slow deconstruction of his ‘performing Dean’ mask. I just adore how far Dean has come, and I can’t wait to see more of this. Dean is being forgiving, he is understanding, he is communicating and I think it is wonderful, really. Not just for destiel, but for his own health and state of mind, and for all the other characters he interacts with.

Moving past the epic finale with baby lucifer taking control of Cas to destroy Dagon, I need to talk about this scene:

Because yeah, something is wrong with Cas, but he was still himself enough to show this level of care and consideration to Dean. The gentle “you’re hurt” and this gorgeous and intimate (again the intimacy in the shots this episode has me majorly fangirling at Amanda Tappin’s excellent direction) caress as he heals him. Dean doesn’t get a standard tap on the forehead or glowy hand hovering a few inches above an injury. Nope. Dean gets gentle, intimate caresses as he is healed. Because Dean is and always will be special to Cas.

Dean won’t let Cas leave, even after everything Cas has done this episode, he still worries about him and argues to stay with him

“Whatever that thing did to you we’re not just gonna let you walk away” Dean knows that Cas isn’t right, he knows that he can’t leave him now. Dean has been down this road before, and that whole speech about faith and the baby well, it just brought back major 8x17 feels to be honest. It sounded like Cas talking about the angel tablet all over again. That was after the brainwashing was broken remember? More on that in a bit.

Basically, this episode was full of destiel moment and I am a big heap of emotional mess thanks to it. Nevertheless, there is more to talk about than just the glorious destieliciousness of this episode (yes that is totally a word).

Therefore, let’s consider what we learned about:

Lucifer’s Baby, Faith and the Future

The fact that this episode started out so darkly, immediately screamed to me that it was not going to end well either, or that any of this was going to end well. Kelly was so very lost to the point that she killed herself. A striking visual for the viewer, and one that is all too common in TV and film nowadays. Kelly couldn’t cope with what her baby would become, and so resorted to taking her own life and the life of the baby instead.

Honestly this is the first episode that I have actually liked Kelly’s character. It feels like the first time she has had any real depth and personality (which is fitting since its also the first time she has been written by a writer other than the terrible duo).

The baby saves her though of course, since it is half angel and therefore has the power of grace to heal her. This shouldn’t be surprising to anyone who understands angels but Kelly treats it as a miracle. She has a change of heart and suddenly we are on the “faith” path.

I think that Cas was probably always going to bond with Kelly after this scene. It may still only be buried in the subtext, but we have had enough call backs to season 8 this episode to make us remember that very heart breaking moment in 8x08 when Cas admitted to Dean that he might kill himself. Cas has been suicidal in the past. With everything he has been through, it’s no wonder he couldn’t go through with killing Kelly.

Whilst I don’t think that the baby will be quite the great evil that Dagon thinks it will be, I have no doubt in my mind that it has Lucifer-like tendencies to manipulate and that at this point its main concern is its own survival. I don’t think it is inherently evil, but still:

“Every sad weak human, every tight ass angel, every snivelling demon, they’ll all be consumed.”

Doesn’t this all seem very Amara-like to you? Because honestly the use of the word ‘consumed’ kinda throws big Amara signs my way. But surely not because we did this story last season. (see this is why the Lucifer baby story annoys me). Anyway, the stories are really similar. The Angels all want this baby dead, so they go to great lengths to kill it, only Cas can’t do it because hes’ Cas and he may talk a big game but killing innocents hasn’t been his thing since well… Jesse… and that is yet another time they basically did this freaking story.

As I mentioned though, Kelly gets through to Cas because of their similar experiences with desiring suicide and feeling hopeless. They are both mirrored this episode as feeling lost and hopeless and therefore vulnerable and easy to manipulate. Isn’t that always the way the devil gets to you? Isn’t that exactly what Lucifer did to Cas last year?

The whole conversation about faith and destiny is very season 5 and is very intentional in an episode that has already used the phrase “team free will” to refer to Sam, Dean and Cas. Other things in this episode that seem kinda pointless on the surface but must have some deeper meaning include the death of Joshua. Why bring him back for all of one episode only to kill him like that? Unless of course he was simply there to remind the viewer of something? Just like the mentioning of “team free will” even though honestly why Dean would say such a thing to Cas who was unconscious the first time he said it? This isn’t just fanservice. This is to take the viewer right back to season 5 and the BIG theme of that season. Free Will, Freedom and Choice are far more important than destiny and fate, and that faith can come from all kinds of different sources.

The last episode where we met Joshua was Dark Side of the Moon. The episode where Castiel lost his faith. Since then, Castiel has had only one real source of faith: the Winchesters. Yes he has been lost and low and broken over the years but he has always had one overall believe, and that is the Winchesters and what they do. In the same episode where we see a massive increase in Destiel subtext and Pining!Dean we  also see the return of Joshua for all of two seconds and Dean trying so hard to get through to Cas, to convince him that the three of them work best together, but Cas still doesn’t get it, doesn’t see it, because Dean hasn’t given him the real reasons, hasn’t spelled it out for him the way Cas did to Dean in 12x12. There has been no obvious love confession from Dean. So Cas is still lost, still wondering, still without a guiding light to bring him home.

Hence he is an easy target for the creepy baby to come and take him as its personal protector. By the end of the episode, Castiel is not our Cas. Not the Cas that chooses the Winchesters anyway. Not the Cas that chooses love over all else. This is a Cas who is reminiscent of Cas when he held the angel tablet and it spoke to his angel coding and told him to keep it safe at all costs. This isn’t brainwashing as such, not the way Naomi brainwashed him, or Rowena cast a spell on him, or Lucifer possessed him. This is a Cas that is vulnerable and in desperate need of a mission to keep him preoccupied to stop him from feeling utterly worthless because he couldn’t bring Dean a “win”. That baby latched on to those feelings, and convinced Cas that he was the best chance of a better future.

The fact that both Kelly and Cas had these yellow eyes is clear proof that this is NOT GOOD. Okay so they still have their pupils in tact unlike the Princes of Hell, but it is still yellow and it still came with that unsettling sound effect that was always associated with Azazel (and then brought back for Ramiel). The baby may not be “evil” in the literal sense, but it is not a good thing. It will not be born and be the “savior”.

Castiel and faith do not go together. When you give Castiel faith in anything that isn’t a Winchester, well, its just not done. This won’t be good. Especially when the words “The Future” were heard over this shot:

Isn’t that ominous. Castiel may have come back to his senses enough to gently heal Dean’s injury (proving that our real Cas is still in there somewhere – always thinking of Dean when he is hurt) but real Cas would NOT just leave Dean and Sam lying on the ground vulnerable outside the ENTRANCE TO HEAVEN AND ALL THOSE ANGELS THAT HATE THEM. WHAT THE FUCK? Yeah so not good basically.

Whatever the future that the baby showed Cas was, it seemed to please him. Now, since it showed Kelly the real future that we saw in this episode then it must have been somewhat real, it also had to be something that was enough motivation to give Cas his faith back… but what could that possibly be? A world without SPN creatures? A world in which Sam and Dean have the peace they deserve? Safety? A life outside of hunting? What else could possibly motivate Cas to go along with this babies ‘plan’ if not something to help the Winchesters?

I’m still unconvinced that this will be anything but bad and that Castiel has been shown a lie. Either that, or this is how they tie the whole thing into the BMOL plot where they want to get rid of all spn creatures as well… even though Sam and Dean are also against them (or will be once they realise the extent of their crazy fascism).

All I can hope is that Dabb knows where he is going with this. The emotional plot seems to be far stronger than the actual story line this year. Which is great in one way, but I still feel we are lacking structure, and I cannot see how this is gonna end. I kinda want to believe that Dabb has decided to let Cas get sort of brainwashed again just so he can have another go at the Crypt Scene (and get it RIGHT this time) because really what else is gonna break Cas out of this weird kind of semi-controlled state? Other than Dean’s love? Why else would they ramp up the subtext to 11 in the same episode that Cas loses his own free will if not to prove to us that Dean will yet again be the key to his freedom?

Overall

The Destiel was great, the plot kinda meh, I have no idea where this baby plot is going and if we get a repeat of season 11s baby Amara plot I’ll be pissed. If Lucifer doesn’t die in the finale I’ll be pissed (I want Cas to hold him down whilst Sam kills him). Fingers crossed for a Crypt Scene but with a canon confession of love from Dean far greater than 8x17s “I need you”. After all, he has been shedding so much of his performance mask, trying so hard to be honest, to accept other people into his life… he is opening himself to vulnerability and accepting that it is okay to do – even when those people hurt him… Dean is learning to be emotionally healthy and really, this route can only end in him doing the one thing he has always struggled to do. The return of his mother this season has only emphasised this. Bearing in mind she is the only person he has ever said the words to before. Could we be on track to getting a confession of love from Dean to Cas? Isn’t it about time? After this episode, I actually think it’s a possibility.

I hate that Cas is not himself again. It breaks my heart. I imagine a lot of people see this as a regression, and I am trying not to. He needs to learn that there are other ways. The difference is that now Dean knows the reasons why Cas is like this. Cas did use his words to explain his reasons quite clearly, so Dean understood. Dean just needs to figure out the key to getting Cas to see things from his POV.

This episode had many great points in it. Obviously the destiel was glorious. The camera work and framing and composition and direction were also fantastic. I hope Amanda comes back and directs again. The one word I will use to describe this episode is “intimate”. Because half the time I felt like I was watching very private moments between characters and I don’t usually feel that way. It was really well put together. I do hope it all comes together by season end, though I am still not too sure. Either way, I liked this episode, even with the baby plot and Lucifer turning up in the middle there. It was satisfying. I’ll give it a 8/10 for how it made me feel after my first watch.

[ghozt1ng-blog]

Mysteries of the Q Files

Chapter 4: Arriving

The trick had been for Trick to play on Naomi’s sensibilities. Once he knew that she favored brains over brawn, he only had to speak about uncovering whether or not the impossible was actually possible. Could there be such things as werewolves? She had opened up about everything she knew about ancient lore on werewolves, including the fun fact that Odysseus from greek myth supposed to be descended from werewolves, which was supposedly what made him super smart in the first place.

She is a mega bookworm, too, apparently, Trick thought with amusement.

Naomi had said that it was remarkable that cultures all over the world had legends about intelligent wolves or men becoming wolves. She figured that was because wolves played such a major role as a threat to pastoral and hunting communities. Also, dogs and wolves are incredibly intelligent and when men became more bestial, a good likeness was to compare them to a wolf. While this was all fascinating and whatnot for Trick, the big prize was getting them out to Hardinsburg.

Towards that end, he played on the question that it was weird that this would be the first “credible” sighting of werewolf in a long time. The Q Files, while ridiculous in concept, was actually very practical in execution. The Sphinx did not raise Trick’s mother and Agent Miles out of the office just to chase fancies, whatever else the other other agents might say. If Agent Conturbatio thought that this was a case worthy of leaving Washington for, it most likely had some real credibility as a case. If that were the case, wouldn’t naomi want to be there to see these claims either confirmed or debunked.

“That would be really cool and educational,” Naomi had conceded. “But this does not convince me that we should just pack up and leave without our parents knowing and get involved in a potentially dangerous case.”

Those were the words Trick had wanted to hear. So long as he knew that she was willing to give, he knew he could win her over. But why do I want her to come? Trick had asked himself. He had figured it was because she appeared to be the package deal as far as adventuring companions went. You didn’t get an athletic build by not trying; Naomi was probably pretty strong and capable. She was also very intelligent. Combine that with his knowledge of teenagers, and he thought that they could infiltrate the school and get some nuggets of important information from the other students.

He had reasoned this to her, “Look, the police are only letting the FBI in on the case, because they are stumped! The FBI will have greater access to technological resources. I think they will be able to confirm that ‘yes, this is a monster!’ But other than that, it could take them weeks or months, if ever, to determine who actually took the girl. Who knows who else could be attacked in the meantime? The kids will be scared and they won’t open up to adults. But they will talk with other teenagers. My guess is that the girl-”

“Samantha Haymore,” Naomi had interjected.

“Yes, Sam,” Trick breezed on, “She most likely knew her attacker. In a small town everyone knows everyone!”

“What makes you think it’s a small town?”

“Ever heard of Hardinsburg, Kentucky before?”

“No,” Naomi had answered with a frown.

“Exactly! Guaranteed backwater part of the state,” Trick had said with a wave of the hand. “The important thing is the makeup of the town and its social structures. Those structures will be played out to the max at the local high school. This means that there is a wealth of helpful gossip and knowledge among the students. We just have to get it out of them, and we can then pass on the information to the FBI.”

“And they can’t get it themselves because they are adults, right,” Naomi had then confirmed.

“Yes. But you and I can blend in.”

“In a small town,” she had laughed skeptically.

“All it takes are some reasonably fake names and a poker face, and total strangers will lap up just about anything you say,” Trick had maintained.

“Okay, you might be right about all of that, but then how are we supposed to get there?”

“That’s simple, really. We take the second most available flight out of here towards Kentucky and then we grab a bus. Both of them will be modes of transportation, both in style and in timing, that the agents will not suspect that we’d use them. Not even my mom,” Trick had added gleefully. “And I can pay, too! I work for my uncle at a farm out of state over the summer breaks, and he pays me good money. Plus, a key to concocting great pranks is to keep them cheap and manageable. So, with all of my summer earning and saved up allowance,we can afford the trip!”

Naomi had given the beaming Trick a flat stare and asked, “Your parents still give a troublemaker like yourself an allowance?”

“Yup! My dad is impressed with my savings, and he thinks it keeps me somewhat responsible.”

“Your dad is a moron,” Naomi had summed up.

“Maybe so,” Trick had agreed. “But his odd tendencies are about to pay off! What do you say?”

Naomi had still not given in entirely to the idea. She looked willing, but there was something warring inside her. Trick wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but he needed a partner in crime, and so he took a big gamble with his next words.  

“Look Naomi, you know a lot of things and I bet you are very accomplished. But life is not just meant to be lived out in a room crammed with fun things or in front of a computer screen. It’s out there!” Trick gestured vaguely in front of himself. “We all need an adventure once in while, otherwise we never truly live. I know we just met and all, but this could be an experience unlike any other. It might be one that you could use to find that answer for your mom. I can’t guarantee that, of course, but you’ll never know and you’ll never live if you don’t try!”

After a long pause, and Trick worrying that he might have overdone it, Naomi finally responded, “You are right Trick, in a very odd way you are right. “ She had then rounded on him. “But don’t ever again dine to believe that you really know anything about me! Especially since we just met! But I’ll come along with you on this adventure of yours, this stupid idea of an adventure. I have four days to kill and it might just give me a laugh at the very least, and get my mom out of my hair.”

“So you’ll be able to ditch your mom pretty handily? I know that as far as my dad is concerned, if I say that I am going to be hanging out a friend’s in the evening, he’ll believe it. He’s so scattered brained most of the time!”

Naomi grunted, “Yes. I get such good grades that no one cares if I skip home or classes. My mom’s counselor told her long ago that she needed to stop being a control freak and let people do what they want. She took that to heart in maybe the wrong way. But it’ll be just fine, so long as we are back in four days!”

Trick had nodded happily. “Sure thing! What’s happening in four days though.”

“Midterms.”

Trick had winced. “I hate those.”

Naomi had then raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? They are the best thing ever for preparing for finals! They always give away what it will be like at the end of the semester. And I always get my teachers to give me the extra hard versions. It’s a lot of fun.”

You need a different kind of fun in your life, Trick thought to himself, but instead he said out loud, “This will be perfect then! And, we can actually get well acquainted on this trip so i won’t have to assume anything about you anymore. I think it’s a win-win all around.”

They had exchanged contact information and Trick dropped her off where the computer labs were. He then made his way back to the Q Files, cementing his plans firmly in his mind. It had not taken long for his mother to bring him back home and get packed herself. Trick promised that he would tell his father what was going on before Susan left for the airport. He had then texted his dad the details and then went straight to booking his own flight and getting the bus schedules down to get him and Naomi to Hardinsburg.

Trick could have danced around the house with excitement. What had started off as an abysmally boring day had turned into a real adventure. It would be one with a new friend, going somewhere new, tracking down something that shouldn’t exist, and finally using his skills on a new group of unsuspecting teens. He could barely wait to get underway. His father had bought the whole cock and bull story of going to hang out with a friend for a little while so that his dad could bring work home and get ahead. His dad always loved that. Honestly, Trick’s father did that so he could have a real vacation at some point with his wife and son. Trick did appreciate that, but it was even better for supporting Trick’s habits of planning big pranks and escapades.

Naomi and Trick had stayed in touch via text and before Trick could believe it they were finally at the airport and boarding a plane. He got the feeling that some people thought the two of them were off on some kind of romantic getaway. Young love and all that.

Ew, no. None of that, Trick thought. He was not that kind of guy at all.

Once they were in the air Trick talked with Naomi about her life and ambitions, trying to get a better understanding of her. She went to a private technical institution that specialized in giving its student two legs up in going to college. Naomi was well ahead of anyone else Trick knew in terms of academics. She also loved to read when not fidgeting and tinkering with a computer. Once again, Trick had surmised some things. He figured from her body type that she probably listened to a lot of e-books since she seemed built like a runner. The advantages of multi-tasking!

Naomi also gleaned from him that Trick was not dumb either, though employed most of his brains to tormenting others. He was actually a top student as far as grades went, and he was very good with complex thinking. Though she could not understand the “game” he kept playing. He told her about how he just so good at reading people it got boring. He was wise to lie and say that Naomi had been unreadable to him. That made her pretty happy.

It startle him to realize that both Naomi and himself were kind of outsiders. She was too brilliant and detached for her own good. Trick had just made himself too many enemies and was considered to be untrustworthy. That was why he was excited to get involved in this Q Files case. Once they landed they boarded a bus, and soon their miraculous plan was underway. They took a rest on the bus before they got to the town, knowing that there would be a lot to do once they got there.

When they arrived at Hardinsburg, Trick was surprised at just how behind the town was. It felt like he had stepped back at least thirty years in time. The cars were all old and the town looked like it had been used to shoot Stranger Things. They got themselves a hotel room for cheap and shared the bed with a rolled up blanket to separate them. He was happy that Naomi didn’t make him sleep on the floor. They were up bright and early to go to school and get started with their day of sleuthing.

“This is so weird,” Naomi said. “But it is also exciting! We’d better find something out around here, Trick, or I’m going to knock you about the head hard.”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be bad. We’ll find something,” he soothed.

If Trick thought that the town was weird, the teens were even more so! In the morning he saw the boys sporting their lettered jock jackets. And everyone looked like they were just stepping out of or into Footloose.

“What!? People actually wear those things,” Trick pointed out the jackets to Naomi indignantly.

“Oh just shut up and follow them! We have to get to school.”

“Right,” Trick agreed, a grin coming to his lips. “This is where the fun truly begins!”

[joyfullightbouquetblog-blog]

I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

New Post has been published on https://www.uberbuyer.com/2018/07/12/i-wish-apples-2018-macbook-pros-had-more-compelling-updates/

I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

Apple finally updated its MacBook Pros after over a year (a lifetime in the computer world) without changes.

But as attractive as some of the new features are — faster processors, more RAM and storage configurations, and, err, a quieter keyboard — none of them really leap off Apple’s website and make me want to yell, “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!“

This isn’t a full review of the new MacBook Pros — I haven’t seen or used them in person and we’ll have one soon enough — but my honest opinion on what Apple’s announced. See, although I review consumer tech for a living, I’m still a consumer and vote with my own money.

My own personal laptop is a maxed-out 2013 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display. It was one of the last of this particular model to come with a full suite of ports (full-sized USB, SD card, MagSafe, etc.) before Apple redesigned its notebook lineup in 2016, dropping all ports in favor of USB-C.

The fully loaded laptop, which I bought with a sizable discount from B&H, has served me well over the years. But, five years on, it’s on its last legs. 

Some of the keys on the keyboard are cracked after suffering who knows how many thousands of words on Mashable. The Intel processor and integrated graphics are too slow for crunching 4K-resolution videos and chokes hard for streaming 4K videos on YouTube. The MiniDisplay Ports constantly can’t maintain a stable connection to the two old Apple Cinema Displays I have (the displays work fine with a Windows 10 laptop). And the Retina display’s anti-reflective coating has started to wear off, but I’ve been too lazy to bring it to Apple for what could be a free repair.

In short: I need a new laptop, and although I like what the updated MacBook Pros offer, I don’t love them. For my specific case, the 15-inch MacBook Pro is off the table; it’s simply too large for my needs.

But let’s go down the list of reasons why I’m not pulling out my credit card without hesitation.

1. It’s really expensive

RIP your wallet.

The updated 13-inch MacBook Pro comes with Intel 8th-generation Core i5 or i7 chips, a maximum configuration of up to 16GB of RAM, and up to 2TB of SSD storage.

These are much-needed and respectable spec bumps, but holy moly, is it pricey. The base configuration with an Intel Core i5, 8GB of RAM, and 256GB of SSD costs $1,800. Tick off the checkboxes for all the highest configurations and it balloons up to an I’m-gonna-cry $3,700.

Now, I’m aware MacBook Pros have always commanded a premium, especially with the upgraded configurations. But like damn, even the entry-level model is too much. I’ve got other ridiculously priced things (like New York City rent) to pay, man.

Apple’s site shows the 13-inch MacBook Pro still starts at $1,300 for the non-Touch Bar model, but that’s for the old model with slower processor. The new $1,800 model isn’t replacing the 2017 models at all. 

Which brings me to my next point…

2. You’re stuck with the Touch Bar

If you want to blame the $1,800 price on anything, blame it it on the Touch Bar because the updated 13-inch MacBook Pro doesn’t come in a version with the regular function row.

Nearly two years since its debut, I can now confidently say the Touch Bar is not very good. Not only does it take extra taps to change settings like the volume and brightness, but few developers have really programmed anything extraordinary for it. 

Heck, Apple didn’t even show off any new uses for it at WWDC this year. And if Apple can’t come up with new compelling uses for the Touch Bar, then nobody will.

Fact is, the Touch Bar is an overpriced extra that nobody really needs, and few people are willing to pay more for. Apple not selling a version of its new MacBook Pros with regular function rows has me worried that model is on its way out for good.

I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to save a few hundred bucks (maybe put it towards Final Cut Pro X or something) for a non-Touch Bar model. 

3. The keyboard’s still worrisome

Based on all the reports from reporters who got hands-on time with the new MacBook Pros, it appears Apple hasn’t redesigned the controversial flat keyboards so that they don’t break from specks of dust.

Apple’s stance is the keyboard problems only affect a small number of devices, but I’m doubtful of the claims. Mashable Tech Editor Pete Pachal has been using a 15-inch MacBook Pro loaner for just a few weeks and he’s already experienced an unresponsive key.

The third-gen “butterfly-switch” keyboard isn’t devoid of improvements. The keys are supposed to feel different — more like the keys on pre-2016 MacBook Pro redesign. But I’ll believe it when I get to try the new keyboard myself. 

The keyboard’s also quieter, but is that really a change many people were asking for? While I personally appreciate a quieter keyboard (yes, I hear my colleagues pounding extra hard on their MBPs), I think I’m in the minority.

Most people just want a reliable keyboard with more travel. I’m concerned we’ll have to wait until at least the next update or refresh to get both.

4. Still missing an SD card slot

Apple still hates the the SD card.

Image: OBY SESSIONS/MACFORMAT MAGAZINE/GETTY IMAGES

It’s 2018 and dongle hell is very much still a thing. I could complain about it and how USB-C hasn’t become the catch-all port we were promised years ago, but I’d sound like a broken record.

I’ll concede full-sized USB ports aren’t coming back. Neither is HDMI or Mini DisplayPort or MagSafe.

But why, oh why, couldn’t Apple add the SD card slot back? If the MacBook Pros are indeed machines for pros – people who need to do “real” heavy-duty work, then the port needs to return.

I’m all for shooting with my iPhone in most situations. But there are still many times where I need my mirrorless or DSLR. As working professional who shoots both photos and videos, the port is essential. It’s comical the unloved MacBook Air is the only laptop Apple now sells with an SD card slot.

Handful of other concerns

Next time, maybe.

Image: lili sams/mashable

These are my biggest concerns for the new 13-inch MacBook Pro. However, I have a few others. 

True Tone, which changes the color temperature of the display, is now built into the new laptops. It’s a nice feature on iPhones, but I’m not sure if it’s a must-have on a laptop. I’d much rather have a display that covers more of Adobe’s color space, like the Razer Blade 15.

The 13-inch is only configurable with up to 16GB of RAM. There’s no 32GB of RAM option, which exclusive to the 15-inch MacBook Pro. It’s understandable adding a 32GB of RAM option for the 13-incher would have meant including a larger battery like on the 15-inch, but it still would have been nice to have the choice. Why not let consumers decide if they’re willing to deal with an extra pound or less of weight in exchange for more memory? Other computer makers do.

Touch ID also feels like it’s gonna be outdated quickly with Face ID just waiting to make the leap to the Mac. After bringing Touch ID to the MacBook Pro with Touch Bar, logic suggests Face ID will probably make land on the laptops in the future, too. Having used Windows Hello on Windows 10 laptops, I can confidently say signing in with your face is a convenience worth paying for.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. As my computer turns five, I’m exactly the target buyer who’s looking for a new machine. If I, a power user, feels like Apple could have went just a little further to make the MacBook Pro better, then I can’t even imagine what someone who’s not as demanding is thinking right now. 

They have to be seriously considering a rock-solid alternative like the Huawei MateBook X Pro. Because I know I am. 

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[footyplusau]

Demons hot in the west, with an Oliver twist

Watch the last two minutes: WCE v Melb Relive the thrilling final moments between the Eagles and Demons at Domain Stadium

Jack Viney led the Demons superbly

1. Smart, Max Footy’s missed big Max Gawn. And it’s not just his wicked taps to advantage which ignited Melbourne’s charge, it’s just him. Maybe the Max highlight came when he ‘munged’ a kick forward during the second term which fortuitously landed in the arms of Mitch Hannan. His smile towards the crowd as if to say ‘how good was that’ summed up the way the lovable big fella goes about it. Speaking of lovable big fellas, how good was Drew ‘The Dish’ Petrie for the Eagles? It’s been a while between drinks but the 34-year-old reminded us what a fabulous key forward he’s been for 321 games now. In just his fifth game for West Coast, and in the absence of Coleman medallist Josh Kennedy, The Dish nailed four goals and even took a few of his trademark plucks. It was a crucial contribution with Jack Darling being held goalless.

WATCH: Match highlights

2. What’s your decision? Did Will Schofield really clock Clayton Oliver in the mouth? Didn’t look like it on the first look but after a couple of different angles, he just might have. Jeremy McGovern’s hard tackle on Jayden Hunt right on half-time set the scene for a bit of a melee in the forward pocket at the Subiaco end. The end result was Schofield swinging an elbow at Oliver, who went down like a poisoned Russian agent, and the Eagle’s name went in the book. After watching the incident post-match Oliver agreed it didn’t look “too bad” but said it had caught him by surprise. “I wasn’t expecting it … it shook me little bit,” he told Channel Seven. Oliver added that he didn’t want to be known as a “faker” but said the hit had “rocked” him. Keen to see how the Match Review Panel treats this one.

Full match coverage and stats

3. Clash of the Hawthorn rejects We’ve had to wait until round 14 to see the Hawthorn ‘discards’ face each other. Sam Mitchell, traded to the Eagles for draft pick No.88 last year by the Hawks, started in the centre square while Jordan Lewis, let go for an exchange of slightly higher lower-round draft picks with Melbourne, charged in off the back of the square to clog up the centre bounce area. While both had 16 possessions at half-time, Lewis was the more effective. But Mitchell set up a snapped goal to Malcolm Karpany with a sublime handball to get back in the mix. At the final siren, the victor Lewis held the ball aloft after marking deep in defence. However, both ex-Hawks were superb, Lewis with 29 possessions and Mitchell with 24 often hard-won disposals.

The Demons celebrate their historic win in Perth. Picture: AFL Photos

4. Captain courageous With Nathan Jones and Jack Watts out someone had to stand up for the Demons and co-captain Jack Viney sure did that. Viney was unbeatable in tight against a highly credentialed West Coast midfield which included two Brownlow medallists. By half-time Viney had 23 possessions, 16 of them contested, plus five clearances. He was on track for one of the great games seen in Perth. His tandem work with Dom Tyson was a highlight while both were grateful for the silver service of Gawn. However, Viney went down to the rooms with a shoulder injury just after the long break which meant he virtually missed the third quarter as the Eagles booted six goals to take back the lead. But his last term was the stuff of legend, 13 possessions, nine contested and he also cleaned up the opposition captain Shannon Hurn for good measure as his side surged home.

5. Demons breakthrough The last time Melbourne won in Perth (2004 against Fremantle) the ground was still called Subiaco Oval. It stayed that way for another six years until it changed to Patersons Stadium, still no Demons wins though in those five years. And the past few years as Domain Stadium haven’t been any kinder to the red and the blue. The streak had blown out to 17 straight Perth losses before Saturday night’s encounter and the Demons had lost nine in a row to the Eagles. Well you can scratch all those ugly numbers now after that three-point triumph.

WATCH: Match-winning McDonald’s high-five

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[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: NUMBERS DON’T LOOK GOOD FOR THE HAWKS... EXCEPT 08, 13, 14 & 15

THREE rounds in and if anything, the season looks more unclear than before it began.

The two powerhouse teams of the last few years at least remain winless and seemingly heading in different directions. Carlton, Fremantle and the Gold Coast all won and the Pies finally got up but by only a point.

But the more things change, the more things stay the same. Bad kicking is bad football, wet weather footy evens everybody out and the Eagles still somehow can’t play well in Melbourne.

 1.       Start with Hawthorn, how can we not. They lost three of their last four last year; their only win in that stretch was against Collingwood with that last-minute Jack Fitzpatrick bomb. Sure, they had a kick after the siren in the Qualifying Final to get into a Prelim, but the game against the Dogs, and now this year thus far, suggests they have become quite beatable.

 2.       At the start of the year we identified issues with their underbelly, it is being exposed more than ever now. Other than Jarryd Roughead or Cyril Rioli they seem to be lacking the real matchwinners we all thought they had as late as last year.

 3.       And lastly on the Hawks, the big problem is now how to get out of this hole. Should they lose to Geelong on the weekend and their season is properly cactus, their ability to rebuild or renovate their list is done with. Here’s what Hawthorn did last trade period, which will impact them big time going forward:

OUT: Sam Mitchell, Jordan Lewis, Bradley Hill, Picks 10, 14, 23, 36, 48, 52, 54,57, 66, 68, 70, 72, 2017 1st (currently Pick 1), 2017 2nd (currently pick 19).

IN: Jaeger O’Meara, Tom Mitchell, Pick 88, 2017 2nd (Currently pick 32).

 4.       Their opponents in the Suns woke up and showed their list is still formidable. But the Gold Coast will still be flimsy in 2017 until they can show some consistency which you just feel isn’t that close. But make no mistake, that list is good enough, not sure if Rodney Eade needs to be let go to trigger success but they’ll be a finals player sooner rather than later.

5.       Gary Ablett still comes home in 2017. There are some health concerns with his sister and he personally is keen to build a family in Victoria so every discussion around this for the rest of the season is just semantics, he is coming home one way or another. His contract will be torn up; it’ll be a Sam Mitchell-esque transaction most likely.

 6.       A team who is also zero and three, Sydney, they look to be ok. Not only are they still able to make the eight I feel once they get going, they are blooding a bunch of talented kids that when their veteran players fall of the cliff, perhaps like we’re seeing at Hawthorn, we’re seeing their replacements getting games already, a luxury the Hawks just haven’t got.

 7.       Another big loser from the weekend was Melbourne. Had Geelong on toast and should have won that game easily, they were by far the better side. Had they had gotten up they would be three from three and destined for September. But, especially with three months without Max Gawn, they could just miss the finals now. I think Jake Spencer will be serviceable, and I still think the Demons make the eight, but they’ve gone from certainties to questionable.

 8.       Port Adelaide had another great week and we must start thinking they can make the finals. Adelaide flexed their muscles and showed why they are up there with the GWS as the form sides of the competition and rightly in premiership contention, but make no mistake, the Power were good and will lose very few games at Adelaide Oval; if they were on the exchange they would most certainly be a ‘buy’.

 9.       Some teams to ‘sell’ on – Geelong and Richmond. The Cats first; they got over a listless Fremantle in the first week, did everything but lose to the rebuilding North Melbourne and somehow ended up in front of a Melbourne side who should have buried them by three-quarter time. They are playing Harry Taylor as a forward who is showing no signs of being better than Shane Kersten, their reliance on Patrick Dangerfield and Joel Selwood is far too great, and whilst they take on the flailing Hawthorn this Monday, it wouldn’t shock to see them get done. There will be eight sides better by Spring.

 10.   A team who is doing better thus far, three from three, but won’t make the finals is Richmond. This team is better than they were last year, sure, and they are better than we might have expected this year as well, but they’re not finals material just yet. We love Daniel Rioli and for the next ten years if you’re a Tigers fan why you would get any number on your back other than #17 I’d be staggered, but Richmond still have some way to go. Their last two wins have been over opponents who performed way below their abilities, particularly the Eagles. A dry track in Perth and Richmond don’t get anywhere near West Coast.

 11.   What do North Melbourne do with Todd Goldstein? Suddenly Brayden Preuss has come in and looks a million bucks at 21 years of age. If North Melbourne weren’t in a rebuild I’d suggest they keep Goldstein but perhaps because they are, they should look to trade him. And who should target him? I’d say the Western Bulldogs. Cap space may be an issue, but Goldstein into that side, allowing Tom Boyd to be a mainstay forward, allowing Jordan Roughead to settle into a key position role, with that midfield, it could be fantastic.

 12.   Nathan Buckley coached very well on the weekend, and almost lost the game. Funny game, isn’t it?

 13.   Fremantle went with the kids and they are getting a lot of the credit for their resurgence. And some say that the Bulldogs were off a bit and let the Dockers in. But at the end of the day it was the usual suspects, Ross Lyon, Aaron Sandilands, Nat Fyfe, David Mundy, Lachie Neale and Stephen Hill who successfully contributed to that win. Chuck in Bradley Hill who looks fantastic on the Subiaco open expanses, and this side will do just fine, finals are still a massive chance.

 14.   The next time West Coast have a Melbourne game, Hawthorn at the MCG in two weeks, they need to come down a couple days earlier than usual and break the usual routine. This is getting ridiculous and perhaps they had big heads and thought they could roll the Tigers too easily, but regardless it’s a stigma they must break now before it impacts yet another season.

 15.   Usually in a good side players take Brownlow votes off each other, which makes sense. However, how many votes would Rory Sloane’s teammates be taking off him thus far? Still at $15, consider that a ‘buy’. Do so responsibly.

 16.   Sam Powell-Pepper into low $3s now, probably still value. Again, be responsible.

 17.   This week, some big games. West Coast and Sydney tonight, the Eagles must win, home games are everything to their year’s success, but the Swans will show something. Got an itch that Sydney pinches this week or next week’s against GWS, so watch out for them.

 18.   Melbourne take on Fremantle Saturday, a big game for both sides. The Dees, first time out with Max Gawn, need to just take the four points and move on as they look to get back on track. The Dockers don’t usually travel too well but after last week we want to see them back it up, prove it wasn’t a flash in the pan. Without Gawn the Dockers loom large.

 19.   Richmond might end up winning, and they are rightfully favourites. But they haven’t been playing that well, they are not yet that good, and the Lions have been playing some ok footy. Up there at the Gabba, with an ounce of luck, Brisbane could surprise a few.

 20.   And finally, Easter Monday. On one hand the Cats have used all of their nine lives the last two weeks, on the other hand Hawthorn have endured a week of eulogies. Can we get a draw?

  (originally published Thursday 13 April)

[marybarbara1]

The World According to a Free-Range Short Seller With Nothing to Lose Bloomberg

The roosters begin crowing at four a.m. on Alder Lane Farm, about an hour north of San Francisco on the sting of Sonoma wine nation. While horses stir of their stables and chickens start to roam the 20-acre property, one of many world’s most fearsome brief sellers places on his normal apparel—shorts and flip-flops—and makes his means at midnight to the room behind his storage. Six pinball machines, a gigantic flatscreen, and a pingpong desk compete for consideration. If not for the Bloomberg terminal within the nook, you may assume this was your typical man cave.

But let’s not dwell on Marc Cohodes’s pastured chickens, or his present-leaping horses, and even his do-it-yourself apricot jam that, on particular events, San Francisco’s Una Pizza Napoletana places on its pies in lieu of tomato sauce. Some of probably the most revered individuals within the investing business say that, courting again to the 1980s, no one has had a higher nostril for sniffing out fraud than the 56-year-previous Cohodes. He’s uncovered suspect accounting at a variety of excessive-profile corporations, together with the Belgian speech-­recognition software program developer Lernout & Hauspie, which went bankrupt in 2001 after being valued at about $10 billion, and mortgage lender NovaStar Financial, the place his efforts earned him a Harvard Business School case research revealed in 2013.

Photographer: Brian Frank

“I would not want to be his adversary if I was still a criminal today,” says Sam Antar, who was sentenced to six months of home arrest and 1,200 hours of group service for cooking the books at New York shopper-electronics chain Crazy Eddie in one of many largest securities frauds unearthed within the 1980s. “A character like Marc”—the 2 crossed paths later in his life when each have been targeted on detecting fraud—“you stay away from.”

And that’s been comparatively straightforward for no less than a part of the previous eight years. In 2008 the hedge fund Cohodes labored at for greater than 20 years went out of enterprise beneath controversial circumstances. He maintains that Goldman Sachs, its prime dealer, closed it too rapidly by making unnecessary margin calls, a declare Goldman disputes. The fallout spurred a bout of what Cohodes likens to submit-traumatic stress dysfunction. “What happened to me would put the average person under,” he says. He retreated to his farm, the place he recuperated by spending his days delivering eggs to San Francisco, cheering on the Oakland Raiders, and touring to see a pal’s rock band, Collective Soul. Besides, the overwhelming majority of shares have been rising due to central financial institution stimulus, depriving him of superb alternatives as a brief vendor.

“Legitimate companies don’t know who the f— I am. And they don’t care. The bad guys? They know. And they do care”

Now Cohodes is again. His time among the many horses and chickens—outdoors the cash administration business—might even have helped him return to the highest of his recreation. Slimmed down and preventing match, he’s been profitable massive on a collection of brief bets towards Canadian corporations since he made his comeback. Cohodes says he’s been betting towards embattled Valeant Pharmaceuticals International because the summer time of 2015. Around the identical time, he started shorting one other debt-laden Canadian drugmaker, Concordia International, which he calls “the poor man’s Valeant.” Both shares misplaced most of their worth final yr.

Cohodes says he’s dedicated to exposing corporations that he believes could also be ripping off peculiar, unwary buyers—“Joe Six-pack,” as he places it. “Legitimate companies don’t know who the f— I am. And they don’t care,” Cohodes says. “The bad guys? They know. And they do care.” And he’ll go to nice lengths to chase them down: dumpster-diving to discover clues of wrongdoing, lambasting enemies on Twitter (the place his rambunctious character is on full show), and hotfooting it throughout Las Vegas to examine whether or not new enterprise workplaces reported by NovaStar have been actual. (They weren’t, in accordance to Cohodes; one was a personal residence, one other a therapeutic massage parlor.) “I’m a pretty driven guy,” he says.

Indeed, press him on his return to the markets, and Cohodes will reveal one more reason that introduced him again from the wilderness. Short selling—borrowing inventory and promoting it, hoping to revenue by shopping for it again later at a lower cost—is a “dying art,” he fears. Short-biased funds managed solely $5.5 billion in belongings as of the top of September, a tiny fraction of the roughly $three trillion the hedge fund business oversees, in accordance to Hedge Fund Research. The variety of brief-biased funds had fallen to 18 at the moment, from 50 in 2009. Cohodes needs to make certain the “old-school” craft will get handed alongside to a new era of individuals with—he jokes—that “genetic defect” that makes them need to tackle all of Wall Street.

As the bounty hunters of the inventory market, brief sellers have uncovered some main failings through the years. Think Jim Chanos’s position in highlighting the fraud at Enron, or David Einhorn’s name on Lehman Brothers. But the lengthy listing of allegations towards brief sellers is as previous because the markets themselves. They unfold false rumors to revenue when shares fall, a apply dubbed “short and distort” that has typically gotten them into hassle with regulators. They conspire to torpedo share costs in “bear raids.” They destroy good corporations and trigger individuals to lose their jobs. They have many pure enemies, together with buyers betting shares will rise, analysts issuing purchase suggestions, and executives whose entire careers are abruptly referred to as into query when brief sellers degree costs towards them. And they’re not regulated the best way Wall Street analysts are, in order that they aren’t as accountable.

To brief a inventory after which publicly advocate promoting it “absolutely should be illegal,” says Amir Anvarzadeh, head of Japanese fairness gross sales at brokerage BGC Partners in Singapore, stressing he doesn’t know Cohodes and is speaking about brief promoting basically. “It’s morally wrong. It’s called front-running, and it’s wrong.”

At the identical time, the dangers brief sellers take could be big. Stocks have a tendency to edge greater naturally, doubling or tripling even when the case towards them is justified. That can imply losses for the brief vendor, not to point out psychological despair. Then there’s the vilification—and the lawsuits, 4 of which Cohodes has skilled. It’s “just a nasty, difficult, ruthless, bare-knuckled, tough business,” he says. “And no one cuts you any breaks.”

Yet there are individuals who wouldn’t do anything.

Cohodes’s journey to the highest ranks of brief promoting started in Chicago, the place he didn’t do nicely at college—he recollects his ­second-grade instructor worrying he’d find yourself in jail. He managed to keep away from that destiny, graduating from Babson College in Massachusetts, the place he studied finance. In 1982 he landed a place again in his hometown with Northern Trust, the place he met an analyst named Paul Landini who taught him about brief promoting. The two started visiting a native gaming arcade after work. There, one among Landini’s hunches grew into a conviction as they watched individuals spend their quarters: Video video games would quickly usurp pinball machines. They shorted a main pinball firm, Bally Manufacturing, and watched with euphoria because the shares misplaced half their worth from the beginning of 1983 to the top of 1984. Cohodes was hooked.

In 1985, Cohodes took a job in New York with David Rocker, who’d simply began a hedge fund that may come to concentrate on brief promoting. “They were very thorough, swung big, and put together a really nice track record in short selling, which is really hard to do,” says Jeff Ubben, who runs ValueAct Capital Management, an activist fund in San Francisco. Rocker Partners posted a gross annual return of 12 % from April 1985 to the top of 2007, when shorting the S&P 500 would have produced an 11 % yearly loss.

“He’s like a terrier. When he gets his jaws on the leg of whatever he’s going after, he can’t let go”

One of Cohodes’s most well-known shorts at Rocker Partners got here from a want to assist his son Max, now 30, who was born with cerebral palsy and lives in his personal home on the farm. Cohodes thought Lernout & Hauspie’s speech-recognition software program may assist Max talk, however he quickly discovered it acknowledged little of what individuals stated. In the summer time of 1998, Rocker Partners began shorting the corporate, which counted Microsoft as a giant shareholder. So started a lengthy marketing campaign of tipping off the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to irregularities in L&H’s books and briefing monetary journalists.

The inventory virtually tripled within the first three months of 2000, inflicting a number of buyers to withdraw cash from Rocker Partners. Only afterward did the hedge fund get its huge break. When L&H began submitting detailed quarterly U.S. disclosures following the acquisition of two American corporations, Cohodes and others observed unusually giant gross sales to South Korea, which have been largely uncovered as pretend. In 2001 the corporate filed for chapter. In 2010 a Belgian courtroom sentenced founders Jo Lernout and Pol Hauspie to 5-yr jail phrases, two years of which have been suspended. The doggedness with which Cohodes pursued L&H was typical of him, says Jeff Matthews, who labored at Rocker Partners from 1989 to 1993: “He has the biggest balls of anyone I’ve ever known.”

Bet the jockey, not the horse, Cohodes says. Find executives who as soon as ran corporations that carried out poorly or have been accused of wrongdoing. Look for pink flags—serial acquisitions of corporations, opaque accounting, overstated numbers. If issues don’t add up, don’t cease till you discover out why. “He’s like a terrier,” says Herb Greenberg, who co-manages funding evaluation firm Pacific Square Research. “When he gets his jaws on the leg of whatever he’s going after, he can’t let go.”

Cohodes and Rocker Partners’ successes embrace NovaStar, the subprime lender he sparred with earlier than the monetary disaster; it was delisted from the New York Stock Exchange in 2008. Another was AremisSoft, a enterprise-administration software program supplier that artificially inflated income. It filed for chapter in 2002, however not earlier than it sued Rocker Partners and others for inventory manipulation, a go well with it shortly dropped. In 2010, Roys Poyiadjis, the previous chief government officer, was sentenced to probation for a inventory fraud that a decide stated was “of almost unthinkable magnitude.”

In the case of AaiPharma—a drugmaker in North Carolina that was delisted, and whose former chief working officer pleaded responsible in 2005 to fraud conspiracy expenses—victory was notably candy for Cohodes. He recollects when the corporate introduced in April 2004 that it had acquired subpoenas from a grand jury looking for testimony and paperwork regarding its monetary reporting. “I just, like, opened the window, and I yelled out at the top of my lungs,” Cohodes says. “This piece of s— stock was kicking our ass for so long.”

It was the knock-down, drag-out struggle with Utah-based Overstock.com which will have helped sink Rocker Partners. Patrick Byrne, the founder and CEO of the low cost retailer, sued the hedge fund in August 2005, claiming it labored with a analysis agency to manipulate the corporate’s shares. Byrne instructed that “miscreant hedge funds,” journalists, overseas inventory exchanges, and a clearinghouse have been amongst these conspiring to drive down his inventory utilizing bare shorting—that’s, promoting brief shares that ­haven’t been borrowed.

“I have a strange affection for Marc as one sometimes develops for an opponent. At the end of the day we sort of put it behind us”

Byrne says he was “completely vindicated,” as a result of defendants in lawsuits Overstock introduced, together with Goldman and Cohodes’s agency, ultimately settled. There’s a distinction between betting towards a horse and “trying to poison” it, he says. Still, “I have a strange affection for Marc as one sometimes develops for an opponent,” Byrne says of Cohodes now. “At the end of the day we sort of put it behind us.”

The 2005 lawsuit hastened Rocker’s retirement the next yr—a minimum of in accordance to Cohodes—and not directly had a hand within the fund’s demise. As for Rocker and Cohodes, they don’t converse. Cohodes blamed Rocker for unnecessarily riling Byrne, whereas the argument could be made that the techniques Rocker Partners used towards Overstock have been no totally different from these it employed for another brief funding. (Rocker declined to remark for this story.)

Whatever the case, Cohodes was left in charge of the corporate, whose identify he modified to Copper River Partners. Then got here the monetary disaster, which ought to have been a godsend for a short-­biased fund. “We were having an outstanding year. Outstanding,” Cohodes says. “We were knocking the ball out of the f—ing park.”

Until issues began to go incorrect.

On Sept. 15, 2008, Lehman Brothers filed for chapter. Lehman Brothers International in London, which Copper River used as a prime dealer, owed the hedge fund about $100 million on the time, says Phil Renna, who was Copper River’s chief monetary officer. Copper River misplaced entry to that cash. Days later, in an echo of Byrne’s marketing campaign, the SEC took motion towards bare brief promoting. That spurred shopping for of closely shorted shares together with Jos. A. Bank Clothiers and Overstock, creating what Cohodes calls “horrific” losses for Copper River. Then the SEC banned brief promoting of monetary corporations, which once more despatched shares the fund was brief surging.

At that time, Goldman stepped in. As Copper River’s principal prime dealer, it instituted home margin calls, which in contrast to regulatory margin calls are made at its discretion. Before lengthy, Goldman was liquidating Copper River’s brief positions. Goldman blocked Cohodes’s try to promote them to one other hedge fund, he says. By October the corporate’s funds have been down greater than 50 %. Copper River was unsalvageable. “It’s almost like a bomb blows up near you or near your brain, and it sort of blows your eardrums out, but it doesn’t kill you,” he says.

Testifying in 2011 in reference to a lawsuit Overstock introduced towards Goldman and others in California, Cohodes stated he and his companions speculated that Goldman shut the fund as a result of it hadn’t borrowed shares for Copper River’s brief gross sales and was overlaying its tracks after the SEC clamped down on bare shorting. He additionally stated he didn’t know for positive. Goldman was faraway from the case, which contended that prime brokerages deliberately drove down the worth of Overstock’s shares via bare brief promoting, on the grounds that not one of the alleged conduct had taken place in that state. Overstock later said that Goldman had settled a New Jersey motion for Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) and securities fraud claims following the California rulings. Goldman additionally agreed to pay fines to the SEC final yr and in 2010 for violations of securities lending guidelines, not associated to Copper River, with out admitting or denying the allegations both time. “Mr. Cohodes is wrong,” Michael DuVally, a Goldman Sachs spokesman, stated in a assertion. “We met our obligations under applicable law,” he stated. “Copper River’s problems were the result of the extreme stress in the financial markets at the time.” For his half, Cohodes says Copper River didn’t sue Goldman as a result of no one had the urge for food for a drawn-out legal battle. “I’m a really, really, really good investor, but obviously I was s—-y at the investment business, because my fund closed due to what I would call factors beyond my control,” Cohodes says. Even so, he accepts duty. “I’m the captain of the ship,” he says. “The ship sank.”

Photographer: Brian Frank

Alder Lane Farm, which Cohodes stored in a settlement when he obtained divorced in May 2011, is sprinkled with bodily reminders of battles previous. They embrace the pinball machines (thanks, Bally), a Porsche 911 with custom-made plates that say “Gowex” (a Spanish telecommunications firm he guess towards), and a 6-yr-previous Holsteiner horse named Concordia after the drugmaker whose former CEO is suing him. “It showed up the day I got sued—so it just had to be,” he says. He even names a few of his roughly 300 chickens after pals and foes. Anyone who doesn’t take the investing recreation personally is improper, Cohodes says.

Which might assist clarify his day without work from investing. “I don’t want to say I took a break from investing, but I sort of took a break from it and just sort of decompressed,” he says of the interval following Copper River’s closure. After a couple of years, he started to miss it and began to spend increasingly more time on brief investments. He turned a energetic presence on Twitter, the place he has greater than eight,000 followers. He says it’s simpler for him to be forthright on social media than it might be if he have been nonetheless working for a hedge fund, the place lawsuits are dangerous for enterprise.

He may be forthright elsewhere, too. At a Grant’s Interest Rate Observer investing convention in New York in October, Cohodes shared the stage with a few of the largest names within the business, together with Julian Robertson of Tiger Management fame and bond investor Jeffrey Gundlach. Some individuals within the viewers have been bowled over by Cohodes’s “rhetorical style,” as Jim Grant, who organizes the occasion, places it. “Marc comes across as kind of an angry and certainly intentionally profane growling bear,” he says. “Beneath that exterior beats the heart of an idealist.”

Cohodes himself says his power for brief promoting additionally comes from having a aggressive nature that makes him relish the battle—all of the extra so if he thinks he’s being disrespected, particularly by what the straight-speaking self-described “scrapper” sees as ­buttoned-up Harvard varieties. Making cash from brief promoting, he says, isn’t that essential to him, though the 2 Porsches on his farm recommend he’s removed from brief himself.

This story seems within the February / March 2017 concern of Bloomberg Markets.

Cover paintings: Oriol Angrill Jordà

Whatever the motivation, most roads for Cohodes today lead over the U.S. border into the Great White North. When many different brief sellers have been descending on Valeant, whose inventory fell 86 % final yr, he additionally took an interest within the smaller Concordia, which he says is bedecked in purple flags. The firm’s founder, Mark Thompson, and different executives beforehand labored for Biovail, which the SEC charged with fraudulent accounting, Cohodes says, recalling his jockey principle. (Biovail agreed to pay $10 million to settle the fees with out admitting or denying the allegations. Thompson, who stepped down as Concordia chairman and CEO in November, wasn’t accused of wrongdoing at Biovail.) Concordia went public by way of a reverse merger, a course of that the SEC says can typically lead to fraud and different abuses. It expanded via acquisitions, which brief sellers akin to Cohodes typically see as grounds for suspicion, as a result of they will open the door to accounting tips. And its enterprise mannequin of shopping for medicine and jacking up their costs (comparable to the technique that was utilized by Valeant) is coming underneath growing scrutiny. (“Valeant’s new management team is working diligently to earn the confidence of the investment community and deliver on our commitments,” together with repaying debt, says firm spokesman Scott Hirsch.)

Cohodes turned satisfied Concordia would buckle beneath the massive money owed it assumed to fund its acquisitions. Dissecting the corporate’s accounts, Cohodes observed that it was recognizing income on cargo quite than when merchandise are bought to the buyer and that it had opaque reserves. Those practices aren’t unlawful however have been utilized by corporations up to now to inflate gross sales in what’s generally known as channel stuffing.

Before lengthy, Concordia’s earnings began to miss estimates. Last September, the U.Okay. authorities launched a bill proposing controls on overcharging within the pharmaceutical business. Debating the invoice, members of Parliament stated it will shut a loophole that allowed corporations together with Amdipharm Mercury, as Concordia’s largest buy was named earlier than Concordia purchased it, to purchase off-patent generic medicine with dominant market positions and push up their costs. “When price gouging ends, the channel gets drained and the results just completely suck,” Cohodes says. (Concordia didn’t reply to requests for remark however stated in a assertion in December that it believes it could possibly service its debt whereas specializing in creating a new lengthy-time period plan.)

Concordia shares plunged 95 % in 2016, handing Cohodes a big revenue. He additionally acquired slapped with a libel and defamation lawsuit from then-CEO Thompson for feedback he made on Canadian TV concerning the government’s work historical past. Cohodes traveled to Toronto in January and filed a 494-page movement to contest the go well with, which he sees as a commonplace tactic to silence brief sellers. (Peter Downard, Thompson’s lawyer, disagrees: “Don’t be diverted by the suggestion that Mr. Cohodes is being sued for criticizing Concordia. Mr. Cohodes went on television and alleged that Mark engaged in misconduct early in his career, long before he was involved with Concordia.”) Cohodes continues to berate Thompson on Twitter. He says he spent about 2,000 hours researching the corporate and considers it his greatest-ever brief funding.

Since the autumn of 2014, Cohodes has additionally been shorting one other Canadian enterprise, mortgage lender Home Capital Group in Toronto. The firm stated in 2015 that it suspended 45 brokers for alleged mortgage fraud, and its inventory fell by virtually half from November 2014 by means of the top of January. (Home Capital declined to remark for this story, nevertheless it stated final yr that “there have been no unusual credit issues on these mortgages.”)

For all the great bets, Cohodes says, there have been loads of dangerous ones, too. Take Ebix, a U.S. provider of software program to the insurance coverage business, and Keurig Green Mountain, a specialty espresso maker. Ebix surged greater than sixfold from June 2013, and Keurig Green Mountain was taken personal at a giant premium. Still, Cohodes says his return to brief promoting has “been blessed” and he’s “had two really good years,” however he declines to give particulars.

As properly as betting towards many corporations in Canada, which he sees as a prime searching floor, Cohodes has appeared regularly in Canadian media since 2015 to expose what he sees as the rationale for the bubble in Vancouver actual property. He says the provincial authorities has ignored and even inspired unlawful cash getting into the nation from China. Cohodes says he’s campaigning on this problem with out a revenue motive: His Canadian actual property shorts haven’t any publicity to Vancouver, the place the worth of a typical single-household house surged to C$1.5 million ($1.1 million), about 20 occasions what the median family earns in a yr. In August, British Columbia’s authorities imposed a 15 % tax on overseas consumers to tackle the state of affairs that Cohodes helped spotlight. Vancouver house gross sales plunged 40 % in January over a yr earlier.

In addition to taking care of his son and speaking to regulators, buyers, and journalists about his brief bets, Cohodes makes time to mentor individuals who share the fraud-sniffing gene and whom he’s recognized as brilliant prospects within the short-­promoting enterprise. He speaks with them repeatedly about their concepts—one thing he says additionally advantages him, particularly as a result of he not has the analysis and analytical assets of his personal fund.

It’s one thing he’s all the time achieved. Jerome Souza was a batboy for the Oakland A’s earlier than Cohodes took him beneath his wing, gave him a job at Copper River, and taught him how to be a brief vendor. After the fund closed, Cohodes was supportive when Souza determined to use the detective expertise he discovered there to go to work for the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration. Souza says Cohodes is like a dad to him. The Sunday after Thanksgiving, Souza, 32, and his household drove 13 hours from Tucson to have dinner with Cohodes, his second spouse, Aurora, 51, and Max.

Then there’s Fahmi Quadir. “I don’t know whether to call him my ideal father or ideal lover,” says Quadir, 26, who began brief promoting in 2015 at Krensavage Asset Management in New York. Cohodes calls her “the assassin,” as a result of she operates within the shadows and her brief analysis may be devastating. “He’s so passionate about what he does,” she says of Cohodes. “Meeting Marc changed my life and made me realize what it means to be a short seller.”

Cohodes says he’ll by no means return to managing different individuals’s cash, as a result of his new setup provides him the thrill of being a brief vendor with out hassles like assembly buyers. “Marc has figured out a way to be in the game without being in the game,” Pacific Square’s Greenberg says.

At Concordia’s shareholder assembly in April 2016, in accordance to native media reviews, then-CEO Thompson stated, “If you are a chicken farmer, your chickens will come home to roost.” Cohodes interpreted this as a menace: that he’d get what’s coming to him. Being threatened, Cohodes says, isn’t one thing he takes kindly to, and when he’s he turns into much more decided.

As for these chickens, positive, Cohodes’s eggs might promote for $13 a dozen at Bi-Rite Market in San Francisco, however he warns Thompson and different targets, current and future, not to underneath­estimate him. “Yeah, I have chickens, and yeah, I sell eggs in the city, but I spend about 1/32nd of my day doing chicken work,” he says. “I’m happy that he thinks I’m a chicken farmer. But I’m still intensely focused on some stuff. I will knock their heads off.” 

—Redmond is Japan markets editor for Bloomberg News in Tokyo. With Dakin Campbell, Luke Kawa, Sarah McDonald, Marine Strauss, and John Martens

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I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

New Post has been published on https://www.uberbuyer.com/2018/07/12/i-wish-apples-2018-macbook-pros-had-more-compelling-updates/

I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

Apple finally updated its MacBook Pros after over a year (a lifetime in the computer world) without changes.

But as attractive as some of the new features are — faster processors, more RAM and storage configurations, and, err, a quieter keyboard — none of them really leap off Apple’s website and make me want to yell, “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!“

This isn’t a full review of the new MacBook Pros — I haven’t seen or used them in person and we’ll have one soon enough — but my honest opinion on what Apple’s announced. See, although I review consumer tech for a living, I’m still a consumer and vote with my own money.

My own personal laptop is a maxed-out 2013 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display. It was one of the last of this particular model to come with a full suite of ports (full-sized USB, SD card, MagSafe, etc.) before Apple redesigned its notebook lineup in 2016, dropping all ports in favor of USB-C.

The fully loaded laptop, which I bought with a sizable discount from B&H, has served me well over the years. But, five years on, it’s on its last legs. 

Some of the keys on the keyboard are cracked after suffering who knows how many thousands of words on Mashable. The Intel processor and integrated graphics are too slow for crunching 4K-resolution videos and chokes hard for streaming 4K videos on YouTube. The MiniDisplay Ports constantly can’t maintain a stable connection to the two old Apple Cinema Displays I have (the displays work fine with a Windows 10 laptop). And the Retina display’s anti-reflective coating has started to wear off, but I’ve been too lazy to bring it to Apple for what could be a free repair.

In short: I need a new laptop, and although I like what the updated MacBook Pros offer, I don’t love them. For my specific case, the 15-inch MacBook Pro is off the table; it’s simply too large for my needs.

But let’s go down the list of reasons why I’m not pulling out my credit card without hesitation.

1. It’s really expensive

RIP your wallet.

The updated 13-inch MacBook Pro comes with Intel 8th-generation Core i5 or i7 chips, a maximum configuration of up to 16GB of RAM, and up to 2TB of SSD storage.

These are much-needed and respectable spec bumps, but holy moly, is it pricey. The base configuration with an Intel Core i5, 8GB of RAM, and 256GB of SSD costs $1,800. Tick off the checkboxes for all the highest configurations and it balloons up to an I’m-gonna-cry $3,700.

Now, I’m aware MacBook Pros have always commanded a premium, especially with the upgraded configurations. But like damn, even the entry-level model is too much. I’ve got other ridiculously priced things (like New York City rent) to pay, man.

Apple’s site shows the 13-inch MacBook Pro still starts at $1,300 for the non-Touch Bar model, but that’s for the old model with slower processor. The new $1,800 model isn’t replacing the 2017 models at all. 

Which brings me to my next point…

2. You’re stuck with the Touch Bar

If you want to blame the $1,800 price on anything, blame it it on the Touch Bar because the updated 13-inch MacBook Pro doesn’t come in a version with the regular function row.

Nearly two years since its debut, I can now confidently say the Touch Bar is not very good. Not only does it take extra taps to change settings like the volume and brightness, but few developers have really programmed anything extraordinary for it. 

Heck, Apple didn’t even show off any new uses for it at WWDC this year. And if Apple can’t come up with new compelling uses for the Touch Bar, then nobody will.

Fact is, the Touch Bar is an overpriced extra that nobody really needs, and few people are willing to pay more for. Apple not selling a version of its new MacBook Pros with regular function rows has me worried that model is on its way out for good.

I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to save a few hundred bucks (maybe put it towards Final Cut Pro X or something) for a non-Touch Bar model. 

3. The keyboard’s still worrisome

Based on all the reports from reporters who got hands-on time with the new MacBook Pros, it appears Apple hasn’t redesigned the controversial flat keyboards so that they don’t break from specks of dust.

Apple’s stance is the keyboard problems only affect a small number of devices, but I’m doubtful of the claims. Mashable Tech Editor Pete Pachal has been using a 15-inch MacBook Pro loaner for just a few weeks and he’s already experienced an unresponsive key.

The third-gen “butterfly-switch” keyboard isn’t devoid of improvements. The keys are supposed to feel different — more like the keys on pre-2016 MacBook Pro redesign. But I’ll believe it when I get to try the new keyboard myself. 

The keyboard’s also quieter, but is that really a change many people were asking for? While I personally appreciate a quieter keyboard (yes, I hear my colleagues pounding extra hard on their MBPs), I think I’m in the minority.

Most people just want a reliable keyboard with more travel. I’m concerned we’ll have to wait until at least the next update or refresh to get both.

4. Still missing an SD card slot

Apple still hates the the SD card.

Image: OBY SESSIONS/MACFORMAT MAGAZINE/GETTY IMAGES

It’s 2018 and dongle hell is very much still a thing. I could complain about it and how USB-C hasn’t become the catch-all port we were promised years ago, but I’d sound like a broken record.

I’ll concede full-sized USB ports aren’t coming back. Neither is HDMI or Mini DisplayPort or MagSafe.

But why, oh why, couldn’t Apple add the SD card slot back? If the MacBook Pros are indeed machines for pros – people who need to do “real” heavy-duty work, then the port needs to return.

I’m all for shooting with my iPhone in most situations. But there are still many times where I need my mirrorless or DSLR. As working professional who shoots both photos and videos, the port is essential. It’s comical the unloved MacBook Air is the only laptop Apple now sells with an SD card slot.

Handful of other concerns

Next time, maybe.

Image: lili sams/mashable

These are my biggest concerns for the new 13-inch MacBook Pro. However, I have a few others. 

True Tone, which changes the color temperature of the display, is now built into the new laptops. It’s a nice feature on iPhones, but I’m not sure if it’s a must-have on a laptop. I’d much rather have a display that covers more of Adobe’s color space, like the Razer Blade 15.

The 13-inch is only configurable with up to 16GB of RAM. There’s no 32GB of RAM option, which exclusive to the 15-inch MacBook Pro. It’s understandable adding a 32GB of RAM option for the 13-incher would have meant including a larger battery like on the 15-inch, but it still would have been nice to have the choice. Why not let consumers decide if they’re willing to deal with an extra pound or less of weight in exchange for more memory? Other computer makers do.

Touch ID also feels like it’s gonna be outdated quickly with Face ID just waiting to make the leap to the Mac. After bringing Touch ID to the MacBook Pro with Touch Bar, logic suggests Face ID will probably make land on the laptops in the future, too. Having used Windows Hello on Windows 10 laptops, I can confidently say signing in with your face is a convenience worth paying for.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. As my computer turns five, I’m exactly the target buyer who’s looking for a new machine. If I, a power user, feels like Apple could have went just a little further to make the MacBook Pro better, then I can’t even imagine what someone who’s not as demanding is thinking right now. 

They have to be seriously considering a rock-solid alternative like the Huawei MateBook X Pro. Because I know I am. 

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I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

New Post has been published on https://click.atak.co/i-wish-apples-2018-macbook-pros-had-more-compelling-updates/

I wish Apple's 2018 MacBook Pros had more compelling updates

Apple finally updated its MacBook Pros after over a year (a lifetime in the computer world) without changes.

But as attractive as some of the new features are — faster processors, more RAM and storage configurations, and, err, a quieter keyboard — none of them really leap off Apple’s website and make me want to yell, “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!“

This isn’t a full review of the new MacBook Pros — I haven’t seen or used them in person and we’ll have one soon enough — but my honest opinion on what Apple’s announced. See, although I review consumer tech for a living, I’m still a consumer and vote with my own money.

My own personal laptop is a maxed-out 2013 13-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display. It was one of the last of this particular model to come with a full suite of ports (full-sized USB, SD card, MagSafe, etc.) before Apple redesigned its notebook lineup in 2016, dropping all ports in favor of USB-C.

The fully loaded laptop, which I bought with a sizable discount from B&H, has served me well over the years. But, five years on, it’s on its last legs. 

Some of the keys on the keyboard are cracked after suffering who knows how many thousands of words on Mashable. The Intel processor and integrated graphics are too slow for crunching 4K-resolution videos and chokes hard for streaming 4K videos on YouTube. The MiniDisplay Ports constantly can’t maintain a stable connection to the two old Apple Cinema Displays I have (the displays work fine with a Windows 10 laptop). And the Retina display’s anti-reflective coating has started to wear off, but I’ve been too lazy to bring it to Apple for what could be a free repair.

In short: I need a new laptop, and although I like what the updated MacBook Pros offer, I don’t love them. For my specific case, the 15-inch MacBook Pro is off the table; it’s simply too large for my needs.

But let’s go down the list of reasons why I’m not pulling out my credit card without hesitation.

1. It’s really expensive

RIP your wallet.

The updated 13-inch MacBook Pro comes with Intel 8th-generation Core i5 or i7 chips, a maximum configuration of up to 16GB of RAM, and up to 2TB of SSD storage.

These are much-needed and respectable spec bumps, but holy moly, is it pricey. The base configuration with an Intel Core i5, 8GB of RAM, and 256GB of SSD costs $1,800. Tick off the checkboxes for all the highest configurations and it balloons up to an I’m-gonna-cry $3,700.

Now, I’m aware MacBook Pros have always commanded a premium, especially with the upgraded configurations. But like damn, even the entry-level model is too much. I’ve got other ridiculously priced things (like New York City rent) to pay, man.

Apple’s site shows the 13-inch MacBook Pro still starts at $1,300 for the non-Touch Bar model, but that’s for the old model with slower processor. The new $1,800 model isn’t replacing the 2017 models at all. 

Which brings me to my next point…

2. You’re stuck with the Touch Bar

If you want to blame the $1,800 price on anything, blame it it on the Touch Bar because the updated 13-inch MacBook Pro doesn’t come in a version with the regular function row.

Nearly two years since its debut, I can now confidently say the Touch Bar is not very good. Not only does it take extra taps to change settings like the volume and brightness, but few developers have really programmed anything extraordinary for it. 

Heck, Apple didn’t even show off any new uses for it at WWDC this year. And if Apple can’t come up with new compelling uses for the Touch Bar, then nobody will.

Fact is, the Touch Bar is an overpriced extra that nobody really needs, and few people are willing to pay more for. Apple not selling a version of its new MacBook Pros with regular function rows has me worried that model is on its way out for good.

I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to save a few hundred bucks (maybe put it towards Final Cut Pro X or something) for a non-Touch Bar model. 

3. The keyboard’s still worrisome

Based on all the reports from reporters who got hands-on time with the new MacBook Pros, it appears Apple hasn’t redesigned the controversial flat keyboards so that they don’t break from specks of dust.

Apple’s stance is the keyboard problems only affect a small number of devices, but I’m doubtful of the claims. Mashable Tech Editor Pete Pachal has been using a 15-inch MacBook Pro loaner for just a few weeks and he’s already experienced an unresponsive key.

The third-gen “butterfly-switch” keyboard isn’t devoid of improvements. The keys are supposed to feel different — more like the keys on pre-2016 MacBook Pro redesign. But I’ll believe it when I get to try the new keyboard myself. 

The keyboard’s also quieter, but is that really a change many people were asking for? While I personally appreciate a quieter keyboard (yes, I hear my colleagues pounding extra hard on their MBPs), I think I’m in the minority.

Most people just want a reliable keyboard with more travel. I’m concerned we’ll have to wait until at least the next update or refresh to get both.

4. Still missing an SD card slot

Apple still hates the the SD card.

Image: OBY SESSIONS/MACFORMAT MAGAZINE/GETTY IMAGES

It’s 2018 and dongle hell is very much still a thing. I could complain about it and how USB-C hasn’t become the catch-all port we were promised years ago, but I’d sound like a broken record.

I’ll concede full-sized USB ports aren’t coming back. Neither is HDMI or Mini DisplayPort or MagSafe.

But why, oh why, couldn’t Apple add the SD card slot back? If the MacBook Pros are indeed machines for pros – people who need to do “real” heavy-duty work, then the port needs to return.

I’m all for shooting with my iPhone in most situations. But there are still many times where I need my mirrorless or DSLR. As working professional who shoots both photos and videos, the port is essential. It’s comical the unloved MacBook Air is the only laptop Apple now sells with an SD card slot.

Handful of other concerns

Next time, maybe.

Image: lili sams/mashable

These are my biggest concerns for the new 13-inch MacBook Pro. However, I have a few others. 

True Tone, which changes the color temperature of the display, is now built into the new laptops. It’s a nice feature on iPhones, but I’m not sure if it’s a must-have on a laptop. I’d much rather have a display that covers more of Adobe’s color space, like the Razer Blade 15.

The 13-inch is only configurable with up to 16GB of RAM. There’s no 32GB of RAM option, which exclusive to the 15-inch MacBook Pro. It’s understandable adding a 32GB of RAM option for the 13-incher would have meant including a larger battery like on the 15-inch, but it still would have been nice to have the choice. Why not let consumers decide if they’re willing to deal with an extra pound or less of weight in exchange for more memory? Other computer makers do.

Touch ID also feels like it’s gonna be outdated quickly with Face ID just waiting to make the leap to the Mac. After bringing Touch ID to the MacBook Pro with Touch Bar, logic suggests Face ID will probably make land on the laptops in the future, too. Having used Windows Hello on Windows 10 laptops, I can confidently say signing in with your face is a convenience worth paying for.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. As my computer turns five, I’m exactly the target buyer who’s looking for a new machine. If I, a power user, feels like Apple could have went just a little further to make the MacBook Pro better, then I can’t even imagine what someone who’s not as demanding is thinking right now. 

They have to be seriously considering a rock-solid alternative like the Huawei MateBook X Pro. Because I know I am. 

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