#also the fact that they have overdosed... it's actually probable and incredibly likely and idk how that hasn't occurred to me

[byanyan]

byan getting angry, sometimes to the point of violence, when someone tries to diagnose them in any capacity.

[thegrantwater]

how the team handled reid's addiction/recovery

//tw for mentions of drug abuse, addiction, overdose, recovery; gonna be a bit of a long one//

~ reid knew that gideon, no matter how much he cared for him, would never do anything to help him. everything with frank was haunting his mind, and he was far too distracted to really notice how much reid was struggling, but gideon knew that he was using

~ after about 2 weeks from his abduction, he'd been using steadily every day, and hotch was the first member of the team to notice him slipping to the bathroom more than usual during the day.

~ that night after the rest of the team had left, hotch went to gideon and asked if reid had said anything about the abduction, to which gideon gave a noncommittal grunt of "he's stressed, he just died. cut the kid a break"

~ so hotch kept an eye out, off-handedly mentioned that he was there for reid if he ever needed anything

~ 3 weeks and 4 days after he spoke to gideon, he was woken up at 2 am to a frantic call from reid, saying hankel was in his house and was going to hurt his mom. he can't remember the last time he drove that fast, but when he got to reid's apartment he saw the other man shaking and crying on the floor of his bathroom, the tourniquet still tied around his arm and a near-empty bottle of dilaudid next to him. he immediately went into dad-hotch mode, got him a glass of water and just sat with him while he cried.

~ reid wrapped himself around hotch and sobbed, begging him not to report this to anyone because "you guys are my family, i can't lose you, you're all i have" and hotch just lets him, petting his hair and promising him that he won't say anything

~ from then on hotch became the person reid called if it ever got too bad, because he was the only one who he was certain wouldn't judge him. he knew the others would be more than willing to help, but it scared him to be so open with even hotch, let alone the entire team.

~ and hotch keeps his word, he never says anything outright to anyone else on the team. but he does mention to them, on a day reid called in sick, that he's struggling right now and they all need to be there for him. gideon knows, but he never speaks up.

~ penelope and derek were the first after hotch to step up and see what they could do. penelope was the one to finally realize he was using, and when she proposed the theory to derek it took everything in him not to go up and grip reid by the shoulders, shake some sense into him and beg for a way to help him get better, because he just couldn't stand seeing his best friend so hurt.

~ so instead of being overly dramatic about it, they decide that they'll invite him to their weekly movie night and snuggle up on penelope's couch and watch shitty comedies that derek rented from blockbuster until 1 am. spencer falls asleep between them and sleeps soundly for the first time in months, his hand still in the popcorn bowl.

~ after them was emily, who knew all too well what a drug-addled young man looked like. she saw traces of matthew in reid, and was determined to make sure that he didn't turn out the same, because this time she would do something.

~ she started to bring him coffee and danishes in the morning, knowing that he likely wasn't eating nearly as much as he should've been. it was more casual at first, only once a week or so saying "they made extra at the coffeeshop" and placing it on his desk before he could argue. but before long, they were eating breakfast together every morning, and some days even meeting up at a cafe or diner to talk about an obscure french novel they'd both read.

~ jj was the last one to notice something was off about reid, struggling with her own trauma from hankel. she was still blaming herself for him even getting taken, so despite her best efforts to look out for him she barely even noticed when he got bad. after hotch said something to them at the roundtable, she kept a closer eye out for him.

~ she wasn't even sure that she completely understood what was really going on with reid, she just knew that her friend was struggling and that she needed to help him in any way she could. so she started letting him ramble on whatever topic his brain focused on that day, and she did her best to try and understand what he was talking about. she even asked penelope to look up some of the science theories he was talking about so that she could talk about them with him too. seeing how he lit up when someone actually listened made her heart burst.

~ spencer had a feeling, deep down, that they all knew what was going on with him. he also knew that hotch never said anything, just that the people he worked with were incredibly talented profilers and no matter his best efforts to hide from them they'd always know what was going on with him.

~ in fact, hotch never said anything outright to him either, after that first night. but he'd come and stay with reid on the really bad nights, and was the one to set him up at NA meetings, to get him a sponsor. he never made a big deal out of anything, but spencer knew that he probably cared the most out of anyone else on the team

~ and once he got better, started the recovery process, he slowly repaid the team for their kindness. he started paying for breakfast with emily, and hosted movie nights at his house every few weeks. he even watched a soccer match with jj, since that was something she cared about. he never had to do anything for hotch, because he just knew that nothing would ever be enough to show his gratitude. but he'd watch jack so he and haley could go on date nights, and picked up extra paperwork at the office. and it was enough.

//god this one hurt but it needed to be done, idk why but the only way reids recovery makes sense is if the team knew but just kept it on the dl for him and helped him in small ways, ways to make sure he knew they cared//

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #329

“i keep it all inside because i know that man is everything but kind”

What is the best thing about your life right now? Uhhhhh... I guess from a realistic standpoint, my partial hospitalization program. I'm learning very important coping skills and have some social interaction almost every day. How was your second serious relationship different from your first? Did you approach relationships differently with some experience under your belt? My first serious relationship was made deeper than what was safe because I was 100% obsessed with him; meanwhile, with Sara, I feel I loved her in a wiser way and with a sense of self still present. I was definitely more hesitant to "let" myself fall in love again, though, and was very insecure at the start. Whose death affected you the most? My dog's, Teddy. What was the best time you’ve had with a complete stranger? I don't exactly make a habit of hanging out with complete strangers... Who has seen you at your absolute worst? How did your relationship change afterwards? Mom, Jason, Girt, and Colleen, probably. Girt showed up at the ER after my overdose (I was a dramatic fuck and wrote a suicide note on Facebook so I didn't just... go without telling some people things I definitely wanted to), and that's when my crush on him really kicked into gear again. He was and is just always there for me through everything. For Jason, I am quiiiiiiiite sure seeing me have an absolute catatonic breakdown the night of the breakup just pushed him away more. I probably looked crazy. Colleen also showed up at the ER after my suicide attempt, and it brought us closer. Then there's Mom, who's, you know, my mom, and my darkest times have always grown our incredible bond, too, because she would never fail to be there for me. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn is dope. What’s your favorite pasta dish? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs. What color do you really want to dye your hair? My top three are pastel pink, light/creamsicle orange, and silver, but there are more. What’s your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue or emerald green. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Um, I don't break into places. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Sara gets super squeaky, bouncy, and just in general wordlessly excited at reptile shows. Going with her to one is one of my favorite memories, mostly just by watching her. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Have I ever been (awake) with friends past 3AM...? Idk. Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Describe it! Not a coffee gal. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Sara. (: When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Now THERE'S a fuckin question. I don't have the slightest idea. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? Thunderstorms; definitely not. Have you ever been to a Pride festival? No, but I'd love to. How open are you with your parents? I don't tell everything to my dad (though I know I could), but I'm an open book with Mom. Is there anything you’re more open about on the internet (such as on LiveJournal) than you would be in “real life”? I guess my sexual history. I'm just in general pretty open online. What is the most petty thing you’ve ever done? Oh, I'm CERTAIN it involves Jason after the breakup, but I don't know the "most"... What is the longest you’d be willing to wait to have sex in a new relationship? I myself don't want to until we're clearly serious and long-term by that point, and I know for a fact they're in love with me like I am them. I don't care how long they want to wait, though. I said in a previous survey that sex just... isn't that important to me. It's not my most cherished form of intimacy. Who has had the most positive effect on your life? My mama. Are there any relatives that you are not on speaking terms with? What happened? Most of the family doesn't talk to my aunt's literally psychotic, manipulative fuck of an ex-husband. I don't feel like it's my business to share exactly what happened, but yeah, fuck him with a chainsaw. :^) Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? It was more like an open invitation to all of her friends, but I guess you could say Summer. I did. I honestly wanna hang out again. Have you ever had to take a stool or urine test? Why did you have to do this? Urine ones, yes: to 1.) test for UTIs and 2.) ensure I wasn't pregnant before surgery. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? Not every day, no. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I don't. It was probably something with few controls, like this Barbie horse riding game my sisters and I loved, or an Elmo game that we had on a demo disc. I think you had to follow a path on a pogo stick picking up letters? We had a PS1 when I was born, so that was my first. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? By "video," I'm going to assume you're not including the computer, in which case I think it was The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon, which I was playing alone. It does have a two-player option though that I wanna do one day. The controls are definitely meant for two people. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There is no disc. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I always leave it on... Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Hm, I don't believe so. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? It was definitely some sort of graphic tee on Facebook, I'm sure. It was something with an opossum design and a short phrase. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? The most recent vet visit was when we got Roman neutered. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I DID fish, yeah. Not because I was afraid to touch the fish, but because I was afraid of nicking myself with the inevitably dirty hook. Did you go to daycare when you were little? Only very briefly; my incredible separation anxiety from my mom made it extremely difficult. She very quickly chose our neighbors as my and my sisters' babysitters. I could handle that because I loved "Uncle Donny," the granddad of the family, and I could see my house from their front door. He was/is (idk if he's still alive) a wonderful man. Do you know what you’d have been named had you been born the opposite sex? No. Would you ever visit a nude beach? NOOOOOOOO THANK YOU. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Where is your favorite place to be kissed other than the usual place? Don't touch my neck if you don't have free time lmaooo. What is your favorite memory with one of your grandparents? I'm going to be completely honest: I have none that are exceptionally important to me. I only knew one grandmother most of my life, and we had a turbulent relationship. Would you date someone who has cheated in their previous relationships? Naaaaah son. What was the most drastic change you made to your appearance? Chopping 8+ inches of hair off. Is there anything you hope your significant other/future significant other never finds out about you? No. I don't want to keep secrets from them above all others. What are most of your Facebook posts about? If you're talking things I actually compose myself and not share, probably pictures of my pets, haha. Or small statements regarding political issues or mental health. What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to? The beat. Who was the last person you got into a small argument with? Probably my mom, idk. How warm do you like your showers/baths to be? Pretty hot. In the past year, have you lost weight or gained weight? How much? Gained... and I'd rather not share. What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I have zero clue, but it's old. What’s your worst/funniest experience with one of your neighbors? The neighbors at my childhood home had two wonderful rottweilers, but one day they got loose and killed at least one of our kittens. It died in my hands. Mom was fucking livid and sobbing. Besides this occasion though, we got along with them. How much alone time is too much for you before you start going crazy and want to be around people? It depends on the day, really, and how entertained I am in my alone time. Generally, one day of total isolation (from people, anyway) is enough for me to want my mom's company at least or to be texting Sara. The last time you burned your tongue or mouth, what were you eating? A pizza roll burned my tongue just a tad. Honestly, are you shallow? Not at all. Besides clothes, shoes, and accessories, what’s your favorite thing to shop for? S N A K E S ! ! ! I could LIVE on the Morph Market website and "window shop." I love planning out the next morph I'm most interested in adopting. If you have/had any facial piercings, what side are they on? Any reason you chose that side? If you don’t have any, if you had to get a facial piercing what would it be and what side would it be on? I have a vertical labret on my lower lip that goes directly down the center of my face. I chose it because I love the symmetry. I've had my right nostril pierced twice, just because I preferred that side for whatever reason. What, would you say, is your sexiest/most provocative article of clothing? I don't own anything like that. I have zero interest in showing off my body. Do/did you have attendance problems in school? I was notoriously tardy for the first class of the day a lot because I was an absolute beast to drag out of bed all the way up to college. Does/did your parents ever go through your computer or cell phone? Mom did. What song reminds you the most of a particular day in your life? Why is that? "Where the Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf is a strong one. I played it again and again the day Teddy was put down, even before we went to go euthanize him. It was my inspiration to one day spread his ashes at Yellowstone in wolf territory. As much as I'd love to keep his ashes forever, like, what happens after I die? And my sisters? Eventually, that container will lose meaning and probably be discarded, so I want to return him to nature. Do you have any close friends that were adopted? No close ones. Who, in your opinion, is the best thriller writer? Idk. Does your Mom eat meat? Yeah. Do you prefer thick or thin crusted pizza? THICK. Thin crust is an utter disappointment. Do you have any friends with the same name as you? No. Who has the prettiest middle name you know? Ha, I mention Alon a lot when it comes to beauty... I can't remember what it is, but I do know hers wins. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? No. It makes me go to bed earlier. Can you touch​ your nose with your tongue?​​ No. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are there any shows that your friends seem to be obsessed with, but that you just don’t get? Oh, loads. How old was the last child that you spoke to? She's six. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, for one. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? It depends, but generally kinda far. Do you always smile for pictures? With other people, yes. Some selfies, no, but usually. What are you most excited about right now? my MOTHERFUCKIN tattoo appointment in MAY!!!!!!!!!!! Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? Window seat, zero doubts. Where would you like to volunteer? I wanna help at an animal rehab. What was the last thing you ate? A strawberry and grain granola bar thing. How do you find new music? Usually YouTube recommendations. What’s your favorite city? I don't have one. What makes your bedroom special to you and what is your favorite part about it? It's a total nests of my various interests. My favorite part is my meerkat collection. Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you? No. Do you shave your legs more than once a week? God no. I haven't shaved my legs since October lmao. Would you get married if you could right now? Definitely not right now. I don't have a job or my own place. What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)? Chokers. Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to? No. I was wholeheartedly in love with him. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I've never stayed in a bad one, to my recollection. Have you ever gone on a boat and been sick the whole time? No. Have you ever kept something from the wild as a pet? A turtle for a little while, yes. Don't do that. Ever win first place for something? Yeah, a few things. What was the last thing you fell off of? Idk. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? The style in which Johnny Got His Gun is written is very confusing, but you adapt to understand it. Jumping back and forth from the past to the present can give ya some metaphorical whiplash. Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it? No. Has anyone ever called your personality dull? Do you agree with them? No. Have you ever personally witnessed a drug deal before? Possibly. Ever have an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I can't remember what they were checking for, but I was fine. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Colleen's house, yes. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? Nope; got no interest. Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for me. Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if it's cool out, in which case yeah. Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July? Not anymore. I just think about the terrified animals (wild and pets alike) and traumatized veterans. Do you enjoy tanning? Not at all. Which of the seven deadly sins do you commit the most? Sloth. Did you have a Furby when you were younger? Yeah. Creepy fuckers. How long was your first relationship? I actually don't remember how long Aaron and I were together... other than it was just a few months. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad, generally speaking. Romantically, Jason. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I don’t know. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yeah. What did the last key you used go to? The car's trunk. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I honestly do wish I remembered my "first time" because that's a pretty big deal to me. What’s your biggest priority right now? My mental health. If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself? I've done that numerous times, and given there was nothing good on the TV ever, I just slept time away or read. Since every time I was suicidal, there were very, very few things you were allowed to have. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW no. Are your hands unsteady? Yes; I have what's called an essential tremor in both. Are your legs long or short? They're proportional to my body. Is there a bookshelf in your room? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never done it. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yeah, my sisters in the past. Is there anything you need to talk about with someone? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? My mom. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Korn. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? Maybe snakebites. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? Nah. I only ever really did once or twice when I had snake eyes. Honestly, have you ever purchased something, worn it, and then returned it? Possibly? If you could have your own house anywhere in the world, where would it be? In the mountains in a nicely wooded area with a waterfall close by. It'd be nice to have a small stream or pond too to sit or swim in. If you could create a holiday - what would it be? I wish the legalization of gay marriage in America was a legitimate holiday. Are you shy about singing in front of people? OHHHHH YES. Do you own a robe? Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No.

[not-poignant]

Hi pia-just wanted to say I adored the final chapters of eversion. As conclusions, both felt so earned&true to the world you created&now I catch myself being surprised when I see actual Android Connor in fic. I’m trying to be a writer&I’m fascinated by how the case became the background plot so to speak & that you still managed to resolve it in a satisfying way. Hope you enjoyed writing it, cos I enjoyed reading it.(I’m also loving seething seas rn!! but this msg is sposed to be about eversion,)

Hello anon!

I’m so glad you enjoyed the last chapters! And haha, I did have a while of forgetting that Connor was an android and then I’d see fanfic and be like ‘OH THAT’S RIGHT.’ But in a way, I’ve spent a lot more time with human Connor than I have android Connor.

I love android Connor too though. But he gets all the love in fandom so he’s doing fine :D

I’m trying to be a writer&I’m fascinated by how the case became the background plot so to speak & that you still managed to resolve it in a satisfying way. 

I think what I had on my side was that everyone who read it always knew that it was going to be a Hank/Connor relationship fic, and that any other genre was probably going to be fairly secondary to that. Like, I didn’t go in saying ‘no one’s getting together, this is pure casefic, anything else is incidental.’ I was writing a (weird) romance that was couched in a casefic, before I decided I didn’t like the formula very much (apparently I enjoy watching it much more).

In terms of the transition, I did a few things:

1. Agonised over it and felt like I was going to fuck everything up.

2. Began to make it clear that Connor didn’t want anything to do with cases anymore. He’s our narrative POV character, and if he doesn’t want to do the case - and we’re the ones sympathising with him (like if that worked) - then theoretically, readers will also care less. Like, not in a ‘no one gives a shit about Veritas’ way but like, if Connor shifts his priorities, and the payoff is good, that is a payoff readers get to experience too.

Which is why the official shift from ‘casefic’ to ‘absolutely not a casefic’ was literally around the time when Hank dropped Connor off at Kara’s. In fact around then, you can see Connor start repeatedly saying ‘I don’t think I want to work in law enforcement.’ I mean Connor felt that way, but I had it come up in dialogue more than once to just gently be like ‘okay guys, let’s leave casefic formula behind and focus this way more on Hank and Connor.’ The payoff? More genuine communication between Hank/Connor, and more sex scenes, lmao.

3. After that, the case was still important, but it was intrusive rather than a focus. Like, the case came into the story to create conflict, fear and tension, rather than it be something that Connor and Hank are really into. It’s the thing that causes Connor to overdose and lose touch with Hank. It’s the thing that takes Hank away from Connor. It’s the thing that retraumatises Connor re: Zlatko. So there was a clear: ‘this case is bringing nothing good to these people.’

I mean I wanted drama, but a lot of things that happened in the fic weren’t initially planned when I imagined it - and that includes the overdose and revisiting Zlatko. They ended up being some of my favourite scenes, because they give Hank and Connor more motives to bond, and refocus the story into a relationship fic.

Idk if you wanted a real answer anon, but I did actually...give a bit of thought to it. Not a ton, just enough to be like ‘okay, fuck, I need to change tracks here and do it in a way that feels - if not organic - then like something that will still keep people interested.’ I’m sure for some people I failed, but for those of you that stuck around, I’m incredibly grateful.

Because to me this was way more fun than a casefic :D

[druidofthetrees]

2, 3, 10, 11, 15, 17, 21, 23, 24, 28, 29, 31, 34, 41, 43, 44, 48, 55, 60, 62, 77, 79, 83, 85, 87, 89, 91, 92, 93, 95, 96, 97, 99, and 100. I would genuinely like to know all of these, with as much context as you are willing to provide for each, but preferably the most context possible.

Woah that’s a ton!

2. Post a selfie: I’ll post or reblog one after this

3. How many tattoos I have and what they are: I don’t have any tattoos rn

10. Biggest turn ons: honestly? When someone is kind to me, understanding of me, and supportive of me, and when someone actually cares about the words I speak. Nice caring people are the hottest!

11. Age: 19

15. Relationship status: single!

17. A fact about my life: hm I used to lease a horse like 3 years ago but my family couldn’t afford it anymore and I miss horses big time lol

21. Are you a virgin? Yeah I’ve never dated anyone or even kissed anyone so far in my life

23. What’s your sexual orientation? I’m gay!

24. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? Yeahhhh big time.... I’m an opioid addict and have been trying to quit all year since I got back into it (was clean for two years) so now I’m just using kratom since it’s safer and legal. Before I’d go like a month without using and then have a bad day and take so much I almost overdose. But I also use LSD once every month cause I’m a bit of a psychonaut. I believe trips can be incredibly powerful for seeing the world in a different way and that that’s a good way for mentally healing. I’ve used a lot of drugs tho but I don’t wanna list them all cause there’s a lot of stigma against drug use.

28. Favorite ice cream: chocolate peanut butter ice cream!

29. One insecurity: I’m insecure about like everything so it’s hard to only choose one... I think I’m most insecure about my looks in general tho.

31. Have you ever taken a picture naked? Yeahhh, pretty sure most people have.

34. Have you ever slept naked? Nah but I hear it’s really good for your sleep to.

41. Have you snuck out of your house? Yup but not that often cause I’m home alone a lot during the day so if I need to do something shady I can do it during the day.

43. Have you ever been arrested? Nope! Luckily not.

44. Have you ever made out with a stranger? Nah, like I said I’ve never kissed anyone so def never made out with anyone.

48. Have you ever ditched school to go do something more fun? Surprisingly no, I’m very grade orientated so last year I only missed one class and I missed it for a rally against the hate crimes on campus but it wasn’t ditching cause my professor excused my absence. I didn’t even miss classes when I was sick or going through bad opioid withdrawals. Landed me a cumulative 4.0 gpa tho!

55. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yeah! But only as a kid. Me and friends would lay on my trampoline and watch the clouds.

60. Have you ever fallen asleep at school/work? Nope but I have come close to it.

62. Have you ever felt an earthquake? Yes, when I was little! Not a dangerous one or anything tho luckily. I was at a beauty store with my sister and mom, I think one of us was there for a haircut but we were looking at the nail polish as we waited and the shelf started to shake so at first I thought someone was on the other side shaking it until I realized everything was shaking.

77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yeah and that’s like the worst lol! It hasn’t happened to me in a long long time luckily. I have no clue what I was drinking last time it happened.

79. Have you ever kissed in the rain? My past answers answer this, nope.

83. Have you ever glued your hand to something? Probably when I was little, but only thing I can remember is putting glue on my hands so I could pull it off for fun

85. Have you ever gone to school partially naked? I’m not sure what this would even mean lmao! But no I def haven’t, I rarely even wear shorts, that’s how little skin I tend to show.

87. Have you ever sat on a roof top? Noooo but I really want to! It’s on my bucket list, my house’s roof is too slopped for that and I’d only be able to get up with scaffolding.

89. Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? Nah scary movies never scare me but I love watching them.

91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? I don’t think so... but I know I did go swimming with all my clothes on but I’m pretty sure that was on my own terms lol

92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? Only online, I think it’s rare in general for guys to be complimented irl, and I think I look much better in my selfies than I do irl

93. Have you ever broken a bone? Nope

95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Yeah I actually do that a lot!

96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? Hell no! Idk when it’d ever come up for me to but I’m like way too insecure about my body for that.

97. Have you ever cheated on a test? Yeah.... don’t tell my past teachers!

99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? Yup, I met Dane DeHaan, Chris Jackson, Sean Aston, John Rhys-Davies, and a few other actors and they’ve all seemed unreal- mostly because the experience of meeting them seemed unreal.

100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows. Hmm I’m not sure. I’m very open with people I meet online so I feel like I’ve told at least one person everything about me... no one I know outside of the internet knows about my addiction tho.

Lol this kept me busy and out of boredom for sometime so thank you for the ask!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #476

“yeah, i am the brain, some say insane”

What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? My sister Misty. Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? Snowman. I think you can personalize them better. At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the kid. Have you ever failed an important test? Which subject? Yes; I failed my last Algebra final and the course. Who taught you how to ride a bike? How old were you? My dad. Idr how old I was. Do you know what your ring size is? What is it? Nope. When you picture dinosaurs in your head, what color are they? Like a darkish red or green. Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? No clue. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was your average size. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Trying to get a cubicle job. Like seriously, NOBODY wants those. I don't either, but I just don't know what other options I have that don't require a degree and I'm not flocked by other people. I'd probably have some duties on the phone, but like... I'm not going to find a job I qualify for that is perfectly reclusive. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Not personally, no. Rollercoasters that go upside-down… yes please or no thank you? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Can you have kids? I would assume so, but honestly I wish I physically couldn't with how intensely I fear being raped. Are you a fan of Elton John? I've never really listened to his music and know very little about him as an individual. What does your town’s name begin with? "R." Are you a seafood fan? Nooooo. The one and only seafood I enjoy is shrimp. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Himmel" is "Heaven" in German. Odd how that was the first one to come to me, ha ha. Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Rome. New tats in your near future? Sadly no. :/ I have to focus on more important things. Did you ever participate in beauty pageants as a child? No. I don't support those. Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? No, but I've always wanted to. :( What's the most amount of money you'd pay for a house or a vehicle? Idk, considering I'm not familiar enough with what is considered reasonable and average for either. What's the longest wait time you'll wait at a restaurant to be seated? If it was actually up to me, shit, maybe only 15 minutes. I am way too impatient, and I'd rather just go to another place than wait for a while. Have you ever been given a responsibility that you couldn't handle? Did you mean: my past three jobs? Did you ever try to start a club as a child? For what? I feel like my friends and I did before... but I remember nothing of it. Who was your favorite babysitter as a child? My sister had this friend in our neighborhood as a kid whose grandparents used to watch us. The grandpa we knew as "Uncle Donny," and he was bar none our favorite. He was such a sweet man. Have you ever cared for a stray animal before? Cats, on many occasions in the past. [TW: SUICIDE/OVERDOSE] Have you ever contacted a suicide or crisis services hotline? For whom? Yeah, for me. I tried first to reach them online in one of those private chatrooms, but I want to say I waited around 30 minutes with nobody available. I was so desperate that I tried calling too, but again, it was too busy. That's when I ODed. Is there anyone from your family that you no longer associate with? I have an uncle by marriage that's an abusive, manipulative fuck that NOBODY associates with, except his brainwashed daughters. Do you have any illnesses that reoccur frequently? I mean, I have mental illnesses that flare up now and again, but no traditional illnesses. What is your sexual orientation? Queer or pansexual, idk man. Have you ever done any drugs harder than marijuana? I've never even done weed. What is one job you would never want to have? I would, no exaggeration, rather die than be a butcher. I could never in five trillion years. Do you bite or peel your string cheese? I don't like string cheese. Who crosses your mind the most? Girt, nowadays. I know, a fucking shocker who wasn't the answer. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? In school, yeah. Ever been to an auction? No. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Puke green and yellow. If you were a fish, what colour would you like to be? I wanna be the Rainbow Fish. :') Did your first real significant other change you at all? You have literally no idea. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No. What’s your favorite football team? I don't like football. Or even understand it. Do you have anything autographed by a celebrity? No. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? Gimme a Reese's and I'm a happy bitch. :^) What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? I'm basic, just hand me a pb&j. How are you today? Worried about my mother since she has Covid now. I'm not feeling too hot, either. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't own a current calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Sara Jane. I prefer to refer to her as just my best friend, though; "ex" usually implies negative feelings in some way or form, and I've none of those. Do you use Snapchat? I never have. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Yum, pancakes. Are you the clubbing type? No. Clubs don't appeal to me at all. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen him in literally years. I wouldn't know. What is unattractive about them? The fact he apparently can't accept a mentally ill partner. Supposedly, he broke up with the girl he dated after me for the same reason he left me: her having depression. Like bro, good fucking luck finding a girl who doesn't struggle with something. Good luck finding someone who's going to be on Cloud 9 all the time. And also, he never communicated what he was feeling. Do you have a crap load of friends to hang out with? God no. The only person I hang out with is my boyfriend. Honeymoon, where? Alaska, if it's a good time of year to see the Northern Lights. If not, maybe the Bahamas to visit their black and pink beaches. The heat and humidity put me off, though... Lipstick over the actual natural lip line, your thoughts? It's capable of being attractive if done well and it's not too extreme, unless you're only looking from a distance. It can look especially great on drag queens imo. How would your wedding bouquet look like? Depends on the time of year, really. I kind of want to say black regardless, but I think that would blend too much with my dress (which I want to be black). Maybe if it was in the fall, which I want, it'd be orange and black to fit the Halloween vibe I'd love to have as a theme, perhaps a rich red, or light pink and white... idk. That's far in the future. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? Bro, give me a meerkat simulator. There's the Lead the Meerkats Wii game that I ADORE, but I think the concept could be greatly expanded upon and made more realistic. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Balut came to mind very quickly. That looks like the grossest shit imaginable. I'll never forget seeing it for the first time on GMM and wondering how neither of them literally died where they sat lmao. There are a LOT of other foods, too. I'm incredibly picky. Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? Every single character from The Lion King is so lovable. Which non-existing (sci-fi and such) weapon and/or vehicle would you like to own/use? Bro, I want Thori'dal from WoW. A bombin' bow with unlimited, magical arrows? That shit's dope. Could save your life, and plus I love bows. How do you think the world will end? Humanity's end will almost certainly be rooted in human action. The end of the planet itself will probably be a black hole, gamma ray, or something else supremely powerful. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured of? The fact I'm fat. :^) Take it all away pls. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? If so, who? My ex. Do you remember anyone’s number by heart? Literally nobody's. Not even my own. :x Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Hunting. What’s the best place you have ever eaten at? The Cheesecake Factory, omlllll. Are you at home right now? Yep. What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs are so fucking ugly to me. Do you knock before you open doors? Always. Does Fred from YouTube annoy you? Now THIS is a throwback. I liked him as a kid. He'd probably annoy the shit out of me now. Anything exciting taking place today? No. Who have you texted today? My mother and Becky, the receptionist at my psychiatrist's office. I rescheduled my appointment to tomorrow with my mom being sick (she wants to talk to him, and she's in no shape to today) and me not feeling well, either. Do you like grapefruits? No. Have you ever had the Reese’s PB candy bars? Omfg, the ones that are a bar of smaller squares is my FAVORITE candy in the world. Where’s your mother? In bed. She was directed to mostly quarantine in her room away from me. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? Always. :( Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I HATE raisins, so guess. Is your belly button pierced? No. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore, no. His content changed a long time ago and doesn't interest me anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" Omg my sister showed it to me once and I hated it. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? uhhh *checks* I have 71. More than I expected, ha ha. What’s the first word that comes to your mind if I say: "Boop!" Booping a snake on the nose. :'3 Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? Nah. I enjoy watching YouTubers play it, and I like the franchise, it's just not my kind of game to actually play. Can you twerk? Oh god, never tried, don't want to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. It looks like you're smelling your armpit, dude. Can money buy you happiness? You are 110% full of shit if you think it can't to some degree. I would be so, so much happier if I wasn't poor. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, considering they're the company that owns World of Warcraft, obviously.