#also this fucking scp..10/10 no idea what the fuck was up with that. but i did enjoy pirate queen zyn...but not whatever expla*ned did here

[finiffy]

That is.....not at all how Zyn looks like....why does she have light brown hair. It looks like I can snap her stick arms so easily

[audistorium]

How I Even Got Here: A Letter from Lemon to Hopeful Creatives

This is going to be a lot. But maybe that's why we(I) made a tumblr. This is a place stories like these can be told.

Four months ago I was not a showrunner.

Four months ago I had no idea what to do.

Four months ago I had little to no friends in Audio Drama as a whole. There were a small handful of twitter people I knew, and I was a ghost in a few discords because I was afraid to ask anyone anything. But.. I was mostly riding solo.

I spent several years learning nothing but sound design after becoming completely enthralled by The Sandman. Shortly after I found SCP Archives and indie Audio Dramas that blew my mind.

Yet even with all that time making soundscapes and learning the intricacies of sound design under my belt, I still felt that gnawing imposter syndrome of creating a show. I've now learned this is pretty widespread in AD creators. Funny how that works, isn't it?

Who was I? Some broke kid from Arkansas that's fascinated by productions of sound and theatre of the mind? A less than well known comedian that wanted to tell the weird tales that manifest from nothing in my brain? I guess in the end that didn't really matter to me. I wanted to tell the scary stories that popped into my head and combine them with later episodes that tell funny ones. An interweaving web that I couldn't get out of my head until I brought it to life.

I talk about the night I uploaded my first episode a lot. My hands were shaking. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest and my face was buried in my palms for a while. I ended up saying "Fuck it." and hit upload. I sat there for a while just watching the episode pop up on different platforms one by one.

There it was. The thing I built up and wrote and worked my ass off for so long for. "What now?" I wondered.

I sat there for an hour kind of looking at the Spotify cover art that had been done well over a year before this point. Yet somehow it felt more real now. More tangible. This was something I could hold in my hands now and say I created. That was an unreal feeling. It was even more mind bending to think that this was only the start of the journey.

I got on Twitter that night and posted about it. It did not take long for someone to reach out. That person was Jesse Hall. Someone who showed me enough kindness to say all of these things that spelled out to me: "Hey, there are communities out there of people that want you to keep making these"

I ended up finding my home, The Liminal Lands discord. A show hiding out in a discord for another show. The thing is, though..

There really WAS this sense of community in it.

Since that point I have been in shows that previously I was only a fan of. I have met people that have been doing this for like 10+ years that treat me as a peer. I have other friends now that are also new showrunners.

I've been asked to be the sound designer in two different productions that are aiming for Tribeca. How nuts is that?

While it does mean my own show has to wait a second, this is incredible that people actually want to involve me at such a level when I feel like the biggest imposter in the room.

It has not been an easy past four months. Not even remotely. I wrote, voiced and sound designed episode 2: Lemonal in 24 hours because I felt like I needed to tell that story. It was one that was very personal. I've been able to share experiences of helplessness, death and fear. But also personal growth.

Soon, of my own humor.

I can put all of myself into this and I never have any intention of stopping that.

Four months later, I am a showrunner. I am the writer, sound designer and often one of the voice actors in my own show.

Four months later, I am confident in what I am capable of, and I am extremely proud of what I've been able to do because so many caring people pushed me and told me that I can do this. That If I stop punishing myself and telling myself my work is bad, I'll learn to love it more. So I did.

Four months later, I have friends that I would not trade for anything in the world and I think that things are only going up from here.

If you stumble across this as a hopeful creative, and you're not certain that you can accomplish what you want.. Well. Look at me.

I had nothing and no one. Our very small budget got us 3 covers and published. Good enough.

Now I have people that care enough to make me better every day. People that just want to be involved in what I made. That is extremely cool, and nowwww, every time I make something new I improve. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Take the leap. People will help you. People will support you.

I promise.

[nat-of-personifs]

RAISA

(Most of this is bullshit I had in my drafts that Newt reminded me I needed to post. ROUNDERHOUSE’s Site-7 series on the wiki is all canon. Updated as I come up with more things for her.)

Last updated 23 August 2023

-Non-binary, any pronouns but mostly she/they with no preference for either and no one knows her sexuality because she stays holed up in Alaska and dislikes getting messages from anyone other than O5-10 in the AT AU, Site-15, and Ethics Committee. Autistic (I’m not, but I got a few mutuals to look over this who are so hopefully I’m doing it right). Black because her (human) mom was (she’s dead and O5-2 is her head now, Site-7 series) and box braids kinda look like power cables which is fitting. Omniscient sleep-deprived coffee addict who outsources her blackmail.

-Introverted all the way. Into their job even more than most Foundation personifs since there’s not much else to do up there and they are DEFINITELY not providing O5 info to Ethics. Definitely. Sometimes they get stuck doing things like yelling at Site-666 for almost breaching the Veil, a job not technically under their purview, but they see all and are in all OTJ 10985 phones. All of them (they provide some data for Site-17’s research team and often get stuck working together). They do notes not conversations. They knew Foundation was trans before Foundation did.

-She likes to sit outside in the cold because it makes her 75% computer brain run faster. There is a theory going around in some high circles that she is actually an .AIC that gained a physical body somehow but they are wrong, she manifested like any other personif.

-They like poking at knitted clothes. And layers. Thankfully, this is Alaska and all the rooms are cold anyways because computers. They have ZERO heat tolerance.

-She has unironically told Site-1 to “fuck off, I’m working” and not gotten disciplined. The whole Foundation would fall apart without her, while also not sure exactly what she’s doing at Site-7, so she usually gets whatever she requests. Site-1 did indeed fuck off.

-They have a single AirPod or headphones in constantly and really like Vocaloid (something about automated voices and concerning lyrics). Their favorite Vocaloid songs are the JubyPhonic cover of Hello, Again and End-World Normopathy by GHOST. They also enjoy Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land by MARINA.

-So, stims. She really likes the click of tall key keyboards, which is nice because she spends most of her days typing at one. RGB keyboard indeed. @imadewritingmyjob suggested that she has an oral fixation so she chews things (mostly gum) when she’s away from the keyboard or the day of the annual RAISA Expo, which is like being on calls with multiple humans who have no idea how she works except they’re invading her space and right in front of her. Least favorite day of her year, by far.

-Fidget spinners probably, they kinda give me Ira vibes too with the three lobes and the circle. They also recite sentences from SCP documents (they have the whole database memorized), especially when stressed. Mostly the unredacted versions, so sometimes they use the gum as a substitute when in earshot of lower clearances.

-She jokes about being omniscient constantly but it’s not really a joke.

-5’4.

[23 Aug 2023]

-Born in 1963 in Maria Jones’s office, and became Site-7 in 1970. She aged as humans do for her first seven years.

-Motivated partially by intense curiosity, especially in the early days, especially of people, since their first task was organizing personnel files. Site-19’s Director and Ethics somewhat were the only ones who backed them, which is why they’re still cordial towards them. Everyone else started once they prevented the earth from becoming a second sun.

-The Archival Office is their personif father, 20 years older than them, and became Site-7B in 1985.

-Ira as a whole considered her an annoyance, due to her constant questions (she spoke from the get-go, as most personifs do) and her tendency to correct every incorrect statement she heard (within the speaker’s clearance), both of which she perceived as interfering with her work. Site-7 in my canon was put so far out for all the typical reasons, but also because she wanted a place to keep her where she’d be useful but out of her sight. RAISA knows this and pretends she doesn’t; while she enjoys being so remote, no one blames her for her remaining bitterness.

-Nonverbal in crowds: their own people don’t count. 95% of their considerable attention is focused on maintaining the surveillance state, and the remaining 5% is taken up by processing all the noise in their mundane senses. They don’t talk in unfamiliar places in general, due to a combination of that and typical Foundation paranoia.

-Her voice when talking to herself is much louder than the one she uses around other people. It was even softer when she was younger, since she slips between accents constantly as a result of the diversity of her personnel (RAISA canonically has a history of hiring entirely on merit and not caring about the way things look) and tried to hide that.

-It’s also why they try to enunciate their words more clearly than most. Maria was constantly reminding them to speak up. They’re louder now, but still quieter than most people, which is just personal preference.

-Staring at 10985 surveillance footage all day and seeing the amount of horrifying shit she has from the cameras on her true body often makes her feel distant from everything around her. She also uses her external monologue to ground herself, which is one of the reasons she’s louder when alone.

-Like Ira, their voice drops pitch and gains more vocal fry when they’re stressed, and also like Ira, they prefer to communicate through notes or body language when extremely anxious. RAISA rarely has issues with this at Site, except, as usual, on the Expo.

-Hates Cimmerian with a burning passion for basically knocking her out for a week with 650 million emails. There’s something in her 10985 file about keeping them away from each other’s line of sight.

I Am Only What You Made Me

-Engaged in a constant prank war with O5-10. Kay attracts personifs like bread attracts ducks, which is surprisingly similar to what’s actually happening. They’re like siblings. RAISA’s an overpowered secretary and they’re an overglorified file cabinet, by their own admission.

-[Aug 23, 2023] Maria Jones is still alive in this AU.

-Most of Aaron’s personal memorabilia for Ira is managed by Site-7B, and RAISA knows the full extent of the love he hides that he has for her. She is not aware of her abuse during his containment until after the fact.

Here is what she looks like, and @loquaciousnewt’s wonderful depiction of her (old design) is here

Fun fact, the word document I keep with my headcanons for all my personifs is named ‘RAISA’s SCP-10985 Database’.

[real-godzekiel]

Despite years of knowing it exists, I am still a SCP Foundation newbie who primarily obtains SCP knowledge through animated story-telling YouTube channels. So bear with me I guess. But I want to actually make a post in-tag talking about the woman from this SCP-978 log of SCP-106 here:

Almost every post I've seen that talked about it claimed the old woman to be SCP-106's wife. I think that's a reasonable prediction, only IF it ignores all of the popular theories of SCP-106's origins linked in his page. Of course, the beauty of SCP lore is that as a fan you get to decide what canon to believe and not to believe yourself. That also means that this log should have no effects on how people view SCP-106, but I want to discuss what I believe who this woman that the editor who added this log(http://www.wikidot.com/user:info/metheguy12) intended to be, since uh, I'm getting the idea that people are largely believing the woman to be SCP-106's spouse DUE to "Until Death" and "The Young Man" suggesting SCP-106 to be once human... despite how this seems unlikely when you consider the context of both stories.

So, firstly- "Until Death", the only story where SCP-106 as Robert Scranton is clearly stated to have a wife, Anna Lang wouldn't fit this narrative because if the woman was her, the Foundation would be able to identify at least how the woman "appears to be her". From that we can simply cross out the possibility of this log being about Robert Scranton-106 completely. If the SCP-106 MeTheGuy12 had in mind when adding this log followed the tale of "Until Death", there is NO FUCKING WAY that woman wasn't Anna. Or maybe it was. Maybe it was and the Foundation just decided not to name, not even mention the possibility of that woman being her. Maybe that's it. That's the whole mystery solved and by posting this on tumblr dot com MeTheGuy12 would find this post and prove me wrong and stupid, but that's so unlikely to happen haha have you even considered the real-godzekiel lore, the MeTheGuy12 lore and the tumblr dot com lore?????????? 😹😁💀

As for "The Young Man", if Corporal Lawrence had a wife, she would be 20-40 years old during the war because despite a few exceptions, there is a maximum age range. This means if the woman was his wife, it'd be her about 20 to 40 years after his "Incident", about year 1940 to 1960. Why's that, that century egg Lawrence would desire, specifically, to be with the 20-to-40-years-after-WW1-and-last-seeing-her and likely 40-to-70-years-before-the-time-this-log-was-written version of his wife? That doesn't make sense. (Or maybe. Okay. Okay maybe he and she just had a 20-40 age gap but that's fucking weird and I don't like it. ) Here's a list of who the woman could be that does make sense to me:

That woman's not a person that SCP-106 ever knew, but by desiring to be welcomed by her, it shows how despite his sadistic bloodlust and anomalous properties, he still desire the basic human need for acceptance and normalcy. If that's the case, the fact that the woman is old would be really interesting. Either that she must be as far off from the 10-25 age bracket as possible to not trigger violent tendencies or that the Old Man really just wanted an Old Woman to be with. I have no clue what I'm talking about.

That woman's meant to represent SCP-106 memory of a maternal figure or older relative. It's his mom, let's say. If he was 20-40 when he went to war, her mother being in her 60s definitely makes sense. If the woman was his mother, it'll also suggest that the place that he most desires to be in is the farm he grew up in. That's pretty sad I think, if you can't find untainted happiness in anywhere but childhood. I think.

Ok, last thing to point out: SCP-106's appearance does not change in his photo. The text does not point out any differences that SCP-106 has in the photo compared to him in reality, despite probably his corrosive touch if nothing in this log suggests the wheat field to be affected by it. Something something wanting to be understood for who he is and not just someone that he once was something something.

Jesus Christ what was I on.

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

i’d love to know your thoughts on scp dispatcher leon

"dispatcher" isnt right i was actually thinking of leon as an scp field agent or tactical response officer.

the idea is instead of zombie apocalypse, raccoon city is affected by some scp and became an anomalous field, or some shit like that - lets say in this AU umbrella is an evil scp foundation whos manufacturing scps as war weapons or whatever. in canon, leon & other RE MCs are part of the 10% who are naturally immune to the virus (i forgot the source of this so grain of salt) so in this AU he and claire have some level of resistance towards the SCP's anomalies, and so they made it out of the city with sherry.

the foundation got hold of them and following protocol wanted to man-in-black minderase them and shit but chris intervenes because, surprise, unlike what claire has been told all her life, chris isnt actually in military - hes a tactical response officer with pretty good ranking in the organisation. so leon & co are sort of given a "choice" whether to go back to their normal lives having their memory of the scp and foundation wiped or enter the foundation as staff members. the final push for them is sherry, who, thanks to her fucked up umbrella researcher parents, has complete immunity to anomalies and will be "contained" by the foundation for research. ultimately leon and claire chose to enter the foundation because a) they could keep an eye on sherry and b) they believe if they climb the ranks high enough, they could give sherry a chance at a normal life eventually.

basically this AU follows canon near exactly, just swap viruses and BSAA/STARS/DSO with mindfucking cosmic horrors and SCP Foundation.

tbh the most interesting stuff about this is the idea of trying to "contain" and "manufacture" cosmic horrors as war weapons for profit lol. also imagining leon and claire attempting to escape out of a city turned into a maze of fucked up gods and cognitohazards and idk discount cthulhus and of course, classic glitched out looping spacetime and shit... super fun!

their "immunity" doesnt mean theyre completely protected from all that shit btw, itd probably be something like how they arent as susceptible to cognitohazards as most people are - supernaturally speaking they have some kind of "sixth sense" that helps them deal with all the mindfucks. also another reason why the foundation offers them a spot.