#also yeah i know i stopped posting again. someday ill come back for real x

[cerulean-sims]

falling on my knees because we absolutely need darker/edgier styles in the sims but voting against rainbowcore feels like a betrayal of my own personality

[lokisasylum]

Map of the Soul: 7 Album - First listen review

[I won’t bother reviewing the ones from PERSONA that were added, since I already did a post for Persona when it came out. Only the new songs]

#1. Interlude: SHADOW

WOW.... just when you thought the first version hit hard/differently. The extended version comes in to choke-slam you against the wall.

#2.  Black Swan

Our new Royal to take a spot in the throne of power along with Blood Sweat & Tears, Spring Day, Fake Love, and Outro: TEAR.

Do we even need to add more additional to what we’ve been saying since its release? As an artist, the lyrics still pull at my heart strings the same way they did the first time I heard it. Especially the verse that says:

‘If this can no longer resonate No longer make my heart vibrate Then like this may be how I die my first death But what if that moment’s right now Right now .’

This verse can be applied to ANY time we loose faith in ourselves or have to give up on a dream/passion and how that separation slowly kills us inside.

#3. Filter (Jimin’s solo)

....Not gonna lie, this song gives me TRUST ISSUES just because its Jimin LOL!

‘Cause I remember seeing & hearing Serendipity for the first time and it was such a lovely melody and the lyrics were so soothing like a lullaby expressing Love in its purest form.

But then you see the choreo and it all went Magic Mike SO FAST X”D.

Because on one hand the lyrics (at first glance) can be interpreted as Jimin seeing himself through Army’s eyes. How WE see his “Duality” - cute/adorable/lovely one minute and then sensual/tantalizing the next.

That boring expression of yours, boring feet Please look at me now Put down your phone, don’t even think about turning your head Let me know your type You can choose and use me yeah

Oh I cover your eyes with my hand Oh go towards the secret I’ll take you to a brand new world Yeah open your closed eyes now go!

Mix the colors of the palette, pick your filter Which me do you want? The one who’s going to change your world, I’m your filter Cover it over your heart

(Ok) How is it, do you feel it a bit? Is it still not enough? (Yes) Girl you have your chance I can be your Genie How ’bout Aladdin? I’ll become anything [for you] You can choose and use me yeah

That first part really does sound like how he would accommodating his “Persona” to make us happy.  And every-time something he does isn’t enough he changes again. 

Of course this doesn’t have to mean what he’s doing in the present, “Filter” could be just like “Lie” which spoke of his past-self and how he used to blame himself for the group’s failures. So maybe he’s expressing how’s he’s had to change himself throughout the years to please the fans as long as they understood and accepted who HE REALLY IS beyond the Idol persona.

Or y’know, this is just a very sexy number he wanted to try and shy away from his comfort zone XD. And I’ll bet all my money that the choreo’s gonna be SEXY AF and WE AIN’T READY FOR IT.

P.S. that moment when the music stops and he goes: “OKAY.” WITH HIS SEXY DEEP AF VOICE, JESUS!!!!

#4. My Time (Jungkook’s solo)

Kook’s solo not only reminded me heavily of “Begin”, but it also sounds like what “Decalcomania” should’ve been if he had released the full version.

He’s seeing himself not as an Idol, but not quite as Jeon Jeongguk either.

Like he’s just standing in the middle watching his two selves, his two Personas and trying to find which one is his. Which reality he is living in--or should be living in. Which part of his life belongs to his “normal/non Idol self” and which one is part of the mask/Idol self he puts up for the fans.

And yes, you know, yes. you know Oh I can’t call ya, I can’t touch ya Oh I can’t Let me know Can I someday find my time? Finna find my time Someday finna find my time 

This verse sounds like he’s still experiencing that loneliness that all artists experience during stardom very often (Note on how in Shadow Yoongi is the one who says: “Nobody ever told me how lonely it is up here.” ). Like how he sometimes wishes he could tell someone, but can’t?

#5. Louder than bombs

All rise for our National Anthem!

If Shadow hit hard while choke slamming you. Then this song is the overkill.

The vocals are insane, and the lyrics mixed with the music tell one story through two points of view. Actor in the spotlight and Actor as a Spectator.

This is BTS telling us how people view them and having to keep their emotions in check in the face of criticism from general audience and even antis, versus how they truly feel inside and behind close doors.

Break, unwind, let it out, breathe out, stand up, pray for better days and keep moving.

#6. ON

THIS👏SONG👏FUCKING👏SLAPS👏PERIOD👏!

The energy, the rap line, the vocal line, the CRAZY FOOTWORK AND INSANE CHOREO.

THE JIKOOK NIP-SLIPS

THE BODY ROLLS

THE TATTOOS---

THE SUBTLE “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

I LOVED IT and it gave me such a strong throwback to NOT TODAY.

#7. UGH!

This is CYPHER_pt3 Killer, CYPHER pt. 4, TEAR & DDAENG’s lovechild.

This song is the Rap Line going like: “THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANTED TO TRY ME (AGAIN) AND IMMA GIVE THESE BITCHES A CYPHER.

BITCHES LOVE CYPHERS.”

#8. 00.00 (Zero o’ Clock)

When I saw that we were having another Vocal Line unit song the first thing I kept praying for was: “PLEASE don’t let this be another Truth Untold...”

Because I absolutely HATED the hypocrisy that came out of this fandom ESPECIALLY the toxic Solo Stans who did nothing but hype up their faves while shitting on other members (I will never forgive those who went so far as to defame and even act as if Jimin wasn’t part of the Vocal Line, ya’ll are still trash for that).

But I gotta say Zero o’ Clock was totally something I can see them enjoying while performing. Despite, of course, the song talking about hardships and finding a new way to be happy throughout the tough times even when you don’t feel like smiling.

I liked it, the vibes are a bit like “2,3″ and “Magic Shop”. A song for HEALING.

#9. Friends (VMIN sub-unit)

VMIN

SOULMATES FOREVER.

I also LOVED that they added the voice messages Jimin & Tae used to leave each other since their recording schedules were different and they didn’t see each other. That was such a nice touch. T_T

That little “Hello my Alien” .... that made me emotional. I kept imagining those mischievous kids running around playing pranks on the other members, like that one time they made Hobi fall off the chair and got chased by him XD ...*SOBS*

#10. Inner Child (Taehyung’s solo)

All the time I kept listening to this song I kept imagining Taehyung sitting in a park next to his Younger Self, like the way a father sits with their youngest son and talks to them about life. What to expect, what will change and how to go about these changes.

Really heartfelt song.

#11. Moon (Jin’s solo)

Just like Tae’s song, “Moon” makes me thinking of all those moments when Jin kept doing his “Heart Event” where he kept pulling out hearts out of nowhere. Each time more clever than the first, just to show ARMY how much he loves us.

I wonder all of a sudden, do you really know yourself? Do you know how pretty you are? I will orbit you I will stay by your side I will become your light All for you 

This part in particular makes me think of Jin up on stage staring at a stadium full of bright little stars that are in reality Army Bombs.

#12. Respect (Namgi Unit-song)

Fave verse from this song is:

“Re-spect”, it’s literally looking again and again Looking again and again and you’ll see faults But despite of that you still want to look

And the fact that you have two members of different ages (Hyung/Donsaeng), in a sort of conversation that goes back and forth between what the real meaning of “RESPECT” is and how people throw the word around, even those who speak ill of others behind their backs.

And were they talking in Satoori in the end??? That was nice XD

#13. We are Bulletproof: the Eternal

Throw stones at me We don’t fear anymore We are we are together bulletproof (Yeah we have you have you) Even if winter comes again Even if I’m blocked off, I will still walk We are we are forever bulletproof (Yeah we got to heaven)

#14. Outro: EGO (Jhope’s Solo)

EGO is Jhope and Jhope is EGO in all it’s glory.

Like “Just Dance” i like the contrast how in EGO he’s doing a back-track to his younger self, how he used to dance to prove something TO OTHERS, where as now that he’s older he just accepts that everything that happened is just part of life. So he’s a happier now doing what he loves BECAUSE he loves to dance.

#15. ON (feat. Sia)

....WHY?

Like... I don’t wanna be THAT BITCH and drag nobody, but like... was this really necessary?

I mean atleast Nicki Minage and Halsey had their own parts that they owned like the bad bitches that they are.

But like...

Yeah, Imma stop right here.

[singingunderthecurtain]

Hand Gesture (손짓) Halloween One Shot

Also posted in AFF

Photos not mine. All found in Google. But I created the moodboard

Author: @loeyeolty AU: Canon Genre: Crack with a little Hurt/Comfort Pairing: Multiple EXO members x Multiple OCs Trigger Warning: None Word Count: 2,325

Plot: After Jongdae ends up things with Iseul, the good-looking man with the white mask and black tux didn't seem so bad...

This Oneshot follows the ‘Tear You Apart’ Universe but it’s not necessarily a sequel. It can be read as a standalone. 

"Is this..your autograph?"

"Yes, by now, you could guess who I am."

I squint at the signature on my cast, I rack my brains to recall but "I'm sorry, I don't recognize.."

"Okay, let's make a deal, you can ask questions about me, and I can ask questions about you and Jongdae's breakup."

Mr. Phantom pitches a proposal I can't resist because, with the length of our conversation, I am just dying out of curiosity to know who he is.

"But how do you know that Jongdae and I?"

"Oppa knows everything."

Chohee POV

"Can you tone it down? Iseul is.."

Iseul is a fucking mess. I could barely mouth those words, staring at the disheveled girl shoving avocado ice cream down her throat and covered in snot.

"I just got our costumes from the mail, Iseul will be Regina George, Chohee you be Karen, while I'll be Gretchen because my hair is so big it's full of secrets.."

I made a hand gesture, slitting my hand against my throat towards Hyoeun, hoping that through my telepathic signals, she would shut up.

"You're Karen eonni because your boobs can tell the weather.." she didn't get the message.

"While Jongdae can be Aaron Samuels.." oh fuck Hyoeun said the worst word in this situation.

"JONGDAEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Iseul wailed in the same manner as Jongdae's perilous 'ah wae'.

"Why, what's wrong?" Hyo approached the crying heartbroken girl and patted her in reassuring strokes.

"Shit Iseul, I didn't know.."

"That's because you rarely come home here. You practically live in Chanyeol's apartment!" Iseul hissed.

"What! No, I'm just..busy with..work.. you know.." she stuttered. "overtime is a killer."

I do not know how to break this down gently but, I butted in

"Jongdae wrote a song for their next album, about.." I cleared the lump in my throat, "Handjobs."

"You see, this," Iseul stretched out her right hand, in a tiny bandage.

"Ever since I started my new writing job, my carpal tunnel has gotten worse. The doctor explicitly told me to 'avoid all jobs involving your hands.’ "

Hyoeun smirked, seemingly understanding what the doctor meant.

"Doctor also told me to rest my left hand, as it was starting to show symptoms of carpal as well."

Hyo makes a joke, trying to lighten the situation, but failed. "Hmm.. the carpal tunnel of love."

"Iseul has been taking care of her hands for the past 6 months.." I grabbed a scoop of Iseul's ice cream, but she refused to share.

"This has been going on for 6 months? and I was not informed?" How irrational of Hyo.

"Little did I know that while I was taking care of my hands, someone else’s hands were taking care of Jongdae's.." Iseul bawls out again.

"Jongdae showed me the prototype lyrics of 'Sonjit', then I apologized for being a bad girlfriend for the past six months," due to a shortage of tissues,  Iseul found purchase on the next best thing to wipe her runny nose, Hyo's baggy sweater.

"Then he said..he was the one who should apologize because he has needs, and he has sourced out his needs elsewhere.."

"Jongdae's a fucking asshole. Where is he?" Hyo tightens her fist into a ball, ready to run out of the door.

"It's okay Hyo," Iseul pulls Hyo back, pinching her sweater, now covered with snot at the backside. "You haven't heard the worst yet."

"I screamed at him, I wanted to break up. The bitch had the fucking nerve to beg. He told me not to throw away the 4 years we were together, that I overlook this instance of his cheating.."

Iseul's breathing was gradually replaced by rapid pants, and more blows to Hyo's clothing, much to her annoyance.

"I just blacked out, and before I knew it, I had injured my left hand by slamming his door all too hastily and forcefully..hence the new bandage on my left hand."

"Oh Iseul honey, at this rate the only Halloween costume fitting for you would be Samurai X's Shishio Makoto.." Iseul buries herself in Hyo's comforting arms.

"Chanyeol and I are planning a Halloween after party at his place, we should all go, dance, drink, have fun and forget that shit of an asshole Jongdae."

"Chanyeol and you?" I raised my brow at the thought.

"I meant Chanyeol, I'm not involved in the planning whatsoever."

"You're so defensive," I quipped and rummaged through Hyo's Halloween costumes. "They're all pink."

"What if Jongdae's there?" Iseul sniffled.

"I'll make sure he isn't on the guest list." Hyo confidently surmised, wiping off the snot off her hoodie.

"You're in charge of the guest list? So I guess you and Chanyeol are really the hosts?" it's been a year since we caught them and honestly everyone is fucking tired of their secret rendezvous. "Just fucking admit it Hyo, everyone already knows."

Hyo rolls her eyes at me, ignoring my comment. Iseul changes the topic.

"But what about me? I will look like shit in any costume, I'm handicapped as fuck."

"We can fix that." Hyo beamed.

~~~~~

Iseul POV

A Baekhyun dressed in cony pajamas and eye mask greets us and hands us various drinks.

"Chohee!" He squealed. Wherever we go, Hyoeun and I disappear in Baekhyun's eyes, all he sees is Chohee Chohee Chohee.

"You are all dressed in pink, you look pretty tonight!" Baekhyun chugs down a pink-tinged drink, the bitter aftertaste reaches his throat, evident from the sour face he made.

"Thanks, I'm Gretchen Weiners, Chohee is Karen.." Hyo proudly shows off our pink tops and pink micro skirts then whisper something close to Baekhyun. The latter's face lights up, much to the suspense of Chohee and I.

"And you are?" Baekhyun turns to me.

"She's Regina George after she got hit by a bus.." Hyo I am going to fucking kill you.

Hyo deliberately dressed me up with a metal neck and body braces, with both of my hands bandaged.

"oh yeah, I recall she got hit by the bus.." Baekhyun giggled. Despite how embarrassing I looked, at least people recognized me as Regina George.

"Chohee," Baekhyun shoves me and Hyo away, making his way to Chohee. "So I heard your breasts can tell the weather?"

~~~~~

Let's all go to Chanyeol's Halloween Party. It would be fun they said. We'll never leave you alone they said. Of course, they're having fun. Hyo has run off with her iron man, Baekhyun remains captivated by Chohee's weather-predicting breasts. and I’m here stuck in a corner with my handicapped hands.

"I've never seen anyone with much dedication to their costume, even binding their hands in a cast," a guy, clad in a tux with a cape, but his face covered with a mask sits on the bar beside me.

"Oh they're real," I push myself to make conversation. Usually, I'm an introvert, having a boyfriend like Jongdae, you never had a shortage of people around you, but now I'm on my own.

"What? What happened to you Ms. Regina-George -after -the -bus -hit- her?" Mr. Phantom of the Opera grabs my wrists gently and examines them on the bar table.

"How did you know I was Regina George?" I was surprised.

"Someone stuck a sticker on your back, reading those exact words. You have good friends." He chuckled

Hyo..I will get my revenge on you..today..or someday. You'll see. My eyes narrowed involuntarily.

"Don't be so mad over Hyo. Or we can plot revenge over her. One blowjob please," he motions to the bartender.

"Are you a mind reader? who are you?"

"You don't know me Iseul?"

His hand tried to pry off his mask, only to put it back again.

"I'm the Phantom of the Opera."

"It wouldn't be fun if I revealed myself so easily, Iseul." So I see, this guy is trying to play a game. He better be handsome behind that mask or else I'm suing.

"I don't like talking to people who won't even tell me their name, thank you." I wanted to walk away but I realized I could not push myself off the bar stool without external help.

"Are you...trying to ..escape?"

The man laughed at my futile efforts, tears forming beside my eyes.

"Yes, but my hands hurt. I have carpal tunnel due for surgery next week.."

I tried pushing myself down, but to no avail, hearing his gentle chuckles only added fuel to the fire.

"Please stop laughing at my efforts."

"I would say you're so darn cute and pretty right now, only if you weren't Jongdae's girlfriend." He watched me struggle all the more.

"Thanks but complements won't help me get off this chair.."

"No, pls stay Iseul-ssi, I have lots of wisdom to impart to you as the phantom of the opera.."

"We don't have anything in common, I don't even know your name, Mister."

"We both have carpal tunnel."

And at that moment, I stopped trying to escape. Like a pickup line, We both have carpal tunnel, was magic to my ears, gravitating me towards him.

I shimmied back to my seat, "you have my attention now,"

Mr. Phantom was very knowledgeable. He shared with me his knowledge and experience regarding our common illness...oh god is this what understanding feels like? Being with Jongdae for a long time, I have felt his gradual coldness towards me, especially since I started getting sick with my hands and all that.

When I told Jongdae before that my wrists needed rest, all I got in return was a simple "mmm." followed up by a rather disgusting question, "so can you do things with your feet?'

I do not know how my romantic relationship with Jongdae turned into sour and soulless just there for sex relationship. I feel so used.

"Iseul-ssi are you alright?" Mr. Phantom has released my hand back to me, after drunkenly examining it.

"Sorry, I just got trapped in my thoughts," I noticed a not-so-tiny scribble on my left hand.

"Is this..your autograph?"

"Yes, by now, you could guess who I am."

I squint at the signature on my cast, I rack my brains to recall but "I'm sorry, I don't recognize.."

"Okay, let's make a deal, you can ask questions about me, and I can ask questions about you and Jongdae's breakup."

Mr. Phantom pitches a proposal I can't resist because, with the length of our conversation, I am just dying out of curiosity to know who he is.

"But how do you know that Jongdae and I?"

"Oppa knows everything."

We were momentarily distracted when Chanyeol (minus his ironman headgear) takes the DJ stage and starts playing his own mixes, screaming "everybody stand, put your hands up!"

Mr. Phantom follows suit, as well as everyone, leaving me glued to my seat.

Looking at everyone having fun, screaming at the top of their lungs, and all I could think about was how fun it would be if Jongdae were here. But no, he was not the one who has his hands nor heartbroken.

It was then that I realized that Mr. Phantom was looking at me, with concerned eyes.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you could not dance right now."

"No, it's okay, I think I'm not fit to party right now. I think I should head home, You should enjoy the party."

"No, don't go home. You'll be left alone with your thoughts, thinking about your break up over and over."

"It's kinda eerie that you know me so well. I wanna make a wild guess Phantom-ssi... are you Shinee's Jonghyun?"

"I'm actually offended that you thought of me as that.." he scoffed.

"Then... Taemin?" I cocked my head to the side, I honestly have no clue who this man is.

"Grab your friends, grab your lover, grab your dates, today's Hallow's eve, as we countdown to October 31!" Chanyeol growled through his mic.

"Chanyeol's weird, I've never heard of Halloween countdowns before," our eyes met and both of us shrugged in unison.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Baekhyun grab in his arms my friend, Chohee. Hyo was rushing to go to Chanyeol's Dj booth, among other couples, holding onto each other.

"This is rather awkward," my seatmate breathed.

"...Do you want to step out?" He added.

"That's a better suggestion. I'm getting claustrophobic in this party." Mr. Phantom offers his hand, helping you go down the bar stool, and slowly leads you the way out.

"This is better," you find the perfect spot on the rooftop of Chanyeol's apartment. Your companion looks dashing under the moonlight, the autumn breeze blowing thru his cape. You secretly wished the wind would blow away his mask too.

Common sense dictated that it is wrong to share secrets with a stranger, but he didn't seem like one at all. Your blow by blow account of Jongdae's disregard for your health and eventual breakup did not seem to shock him at all.

"You don't seem shocked by what I am saying," you paused and looked at your friend who was drawing comforting circles with his palm across your cold back.

"Because I know everything, I know the girl he cheated on you with. I feel guilty that I had known before but because it was your relationship, the rest of the boys decided to stay mum."

Despite his warm hand on your back, you felt chills run down your spine.

"You're cold," Mr phantom drapes his cape over you.

"So... you're one of EXO?" You gasped. "And who is this girl?"

"Make a guess," a faint smile cracked under his mask.

"Xiumin? Are you Xiumin?"

"Wrong."

"Kyungsoo?"

"Get your thoughts together Iseul, Kyungsoo was staring at us a while ago. He was that grudge kid… Final hint: Iseul I’ve always had a crush on you and I hated the fact that you were Jongdae's girlfriend. You are an awesome girl and.."

"Junmyeon?" Come to think of it. Jongdae rarely took you out with Suho. All of his friends that you’ve known were Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Sometimes Sehun, sometimes Kai. But almost never Suho.

Mr phantom slowly takes off his mask, revealing his impeccable facial features coupled with the smirk on his face

Like gravity, he pulls you in and you lean in as he gives you a soft peck on your lips,

He was slow and gentle enough, measuring if you were ready for more

Junmyeon immediately draws out, but not far enough from you. Your foreheads touching as he pleads

"I'm sorry."

"I'm drunk.." indeed he tasted like sweet liquor.

"It's okay, I'm sober, Junmyeon."

"Can I kiss you Iseul?"

You pull him in closer, stifling your giggles "you just did!"

The first time was a wonder, the second time was deeper.

"I have always found you interesting too but right now, I'm so angry over what happened..." You glance at Junmyeon who looks more handsome without the mask.

"It wasn't your fault Iseul. I guess Jongdae, he was an asshole. He had been stringing Seulgi all along you were dating."

Junmyeon reassuringly places your bandaged hands on his lap.

"And I’m so sorry this happened to you."

"None of this is your fault Junmyeon, I am just glad someone listened to me tonight."

You tried to smile at Junmyeon despite your throbbing aching heart, and he reciprocated with a heartwarming smile too.

"Iseul I still can’t believe he blamed his lack of handjobs to your carpal.. when in fact he has been cheating all along..."

Junmyeon shakes his head. "I am not angry at my friend but I am so disappointed in him."

"Hey my hands may be injured right now but I can still do other things.."

---END---

Y’ALL GIVE LOVE TO @loeyeolty for writing again after being slumped in life and work for months!!! 💖💖💖